Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode: 02-13-26 – "Holmberg Had Issues With A Dead Battery In His Jeep – More With KISS 1230’s DJ Easy Dick Answering Emails And Taking Calls"

Air date: February 13, 2026
Host: John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, and DJ Easy Dick

Episode Overview

This episode blends classic Holmberg humor with absurdity, auto woes, and the irreverent KISS 1230 DJ Easy Dick segment—a recurring parody rich with outrageous sexual innuendo and listener call-ins. The crew tackles: vehicle mishaps, new Tempe drink-spiking policy, the coming Super Bowl–Valentine’s Day clash, and an onslaught of cheeky and sometimes raunchy calls/emails to DJ Easy Dick, all with their trademark blend of lampooned radio personas, crowd engagement, and satirical takes on news and relationships.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Holmberg’s Jeep Battery Fiasco

• Holmberg narrates his auto troubles: His Jeep’s battery is dead after long neglect, leading to costly repairs. He rails against modern vehicle complexity (02:30).
• Banter about being unhandy: Holmberg leans into self-deprecation over hiring someone for 'man work,' feeling emasculated as the battery installer recognizes him from radio.
• On new vehicle design: Double batteries for the “start/stop” system are mocked, and the challenge (and expense) of changing them is lamented.
  • Quote: “There’s nothing worse. Now I know how Brady feels. Only it's less indentured servant to be a guy...with a black guy cleaning your house and you just sit there and watch it.” – John Holmberg (04:12)
  • Quote: “The only comp to that is, is a man calling another man to do man stuff at the house.” – John Holmberg (04:14)

2. DJ Easy Dick’s “Advice” & Outrageous On-Air Emails

• Comedic persona DJ Easy Dick answers wild and risqué listener questions.
  • Sample question: “How can I get my wife to enjoy taking it in the back door more?” The response is an intentionally absurd and dark riff, mocking bad sex advice. (06:05)
    • Quote: “The best thing about doing it with an unconscious woman is she wakes up sore, looks at you and thinks, hmm, he wouldn’t do that. I better stay quiet.” – DJ Easy Dick (06:45)
  • House-cleaning seduction question: DJ riffs with tongue-in-cheek stereotypes and musical seduction advice (Al Green, Barry White), packed with innuendo. (07:07)
• KISS 1230 “giveaways” and spoof promos, e.g. “lifetime supply of 9-volt batteries” for the “198,000th caller.” (07:51)
• Mock praise for “Rodney, the cleaner:” “That lady will be driven like a monsoon on a Vietnamese rice field. She’s gonna beg for more chocolate this Valentine’s Day.” – DJ Easy Dick (07:24)

3. Tempe’s New Drink Spiking Test Kit Policy

• Listener email prompts debate and jokes about bar safety: Tempe becomes first in Arizona to require drink-testing kits at bars (08:54).
  • Quote: “It’s like checking your pool. You put the thing in and if it turns purple…” – John Holmberg (09:09)
• Holmberg recounts being roofied: Describes confusion and impairment after unknowingly being drugged at a club last November. (09:38)
  • Quote: “I was a mess…not a drunk mess. Like a can’t-keep-a-thought mess. Couldn’t figure out how doors worked. I was in a weird, weird place.” – John Holmberg (10:38)

4. Super Bowl Landing on Valentine’s Day in 2027

• Big concern for relationships: News breaks that Super Bowl LXI will fall on Valentine’s Day—joking predictions of mass relationship strife, divorce, and bouquet/florist price gouging (11:10, 12:41).
  • Quote: “This could be a plan…like the divorce rate’s gonna go through the roof... The NFL’s like, pick—Which one do you love?” – John Holmberg (11:24, 11:42)
• Speculates on marketing impacts: Valentine’s stores and restaurants will clean up the night before, with men forced into double-duty. (12:41)
• Jokes about lawyers sponsoring halftime show:
  • “Cordell and Cordell [divorce attorneys] are the lead sponsors of next year’s halftime show.” – John Holmberg (12:41)
• Listener call ties in Phoenix Open overlapping and the financial pain of the scheduling (13:26).

5. Calls and Listener Interactions (DJ Easy Dick Show)

Highlight: “Gutsy and Sin” Call (22:01–25:18)

• Gutsy declares love for his girlfriend “Sin” (Cynthia), who he claims is “perfect.”
• DJ Easy Dick probes about prior stabbings (“the ex stabbed you...”), jokes about tattoos (Virgin Mary), weight, and Gutsy’s presumed heritage.
  • Quote: “The Mexican accent isn’t regional—it just means you’ve been stabbed.” – DJ Easy Dick (22:45)
• Banter about Gutsy’s lack of Valentine’s plans and potential gift ideas (knives, more tattoos).
• Concludes with DJ’s running gag: “Your name tattooed on your back?”—more jokes about Mexican surnames and tattoo space—plus a mention of Gutsy’s ability to survive “stabby” relationships (25:43).
  • Memorable: “Earth is a simulation…if you’re paying attention, it’s a very easy place to live.” – DJ Easy Dick (25:43)

“James and Candace” Call (29:19–32:24)

• James celebrates non-marital partnership and describes Candace (tattoos, “dishwater blonde,” great mother).
• DJ quizzes on family dynamics, exes, and their Valentine’s plans: camping and “trailer sex.”
  • Memorable: “Trailer sex is one of the sexiest things you could say to a woman.” – DJ Easy Dick (31:14)
• Ends with comical, explicit suggestion to “put out the campfire” with post-coital fluids—and Candace’s kids being someone else’s. (32:05)
  • Classic “HMS” edge: “Where are you going to finish on her? Tell me where you’re going to splurge, James.” – DJ Easy Dick (31:50)

“Rick at Groggies” Call (33:45–37:45)

• Rick calls to wish his daughter (her birthday on Valentine’s) and shares plans: going solo to a local bar, Groggies.
• DJ and crew riff on Groggies reputation: mocking “Bill Cosby” drinks, patron debauchery, and the sadness of Valentine’s as a single man.
• Rick reveals his wife passed away during COVID: show briefly takes a somber turn, then pivots back to humor about Groggies’ crowd and signature drinks (“Tears of Rick”).
  • Memorable: “You’re the grossest man I’ve ever spoken to.” – DJ Easy Dick (36:14)

6. Riffing on Soul Train Cruise & Race Stereotypes

• DJ Easy Dick promotes a “star-studded” Soul Train Cruise as an alternative to Super Bowl chaos: jokes about white people being too scared to attend (19:10).
• Quote: “Fear of whitey is what we’re calling this cruise… There’s no way a white person is gonna infiltrate this.” – DJ Easy Dick (19:13)

7. Super Bowl Date Creep & TV Ratings

• Holmberg explains the business rationale (Sweeps month, NFL season extension) behind the Super Bowl moving deeper into February (20:52).
  • Quote: “We’re wasting the Super Bowl by having it January. They tried to squeeze it into February…your monthly number was humongous.” – John Holmberg (21:00)

Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• On new Jeep batteries:
  “You got that secondary battery somewhere living underneath it… There's two batteries in all these cars for that stupid start-stop.” – John Holmberg (03:07)

• On hiring help:
  “Nothing…the only comp to that is a man calling another man to do man stuff at the house.” – John Holmberg (04:14)

• Advice on being roofied:
  “I was a mess. Not a drunk mess. Like, a can’t-keep-a-thought mess. I couldn't figure out how doors worked. I was in a weird, weird place.” – John Holmberg (10:38)

• Super Bowl on Valentine’s Day:
  “You’re going to be in huge trouble… Now the NFL's like, ‘Pick, which one do you love?’” – John Holmberg (11:42)

• On racial cruise jokes:
  “The fear of whitey is what we’re calling this cruise. There’s no way a white person is gonna infiltrate this.” – DJ Easy Dick (19:13)

• Rick at Groggies (deep sadness and dark humor):
  “This is all disgusting for Valentine’s Day. It’s supposed to be about sex. Dirty, dirty anal. And you keep bringing in your children. That’s—you’re the grossest man I’ve ever spoken to.” – DJ Easy Dick (36:14)

Memorable Moments

• “Gutsy and Sin” call: With rapid-fire ethnic jokes, tattoo guesses, and backhanded support, this call encapsulates the blend of irreverence and local color that defines HMS (22:01–25:18).
• Groggies call: Interplay between faux pathos (dead wife story) and relentless bar jokes make for one of the more darkly comic moments (33:45–37:45).
• DJ Easy Dick’s “conventional” sex advice: The satirical, bawdy tone skewers morning radio stereotypes.
• Discussions on Tempe’s anti-roofie move: Mixes local news, personal anecdote, and safety reminders—contrast to the otherwise raucous tone.
• Super Bowl–Valentine’s dilemma: Multiple callbacks and running jokes about the chaos this will cause in relationships next year.

Episode Structure & Flow

• 00:00–02:30: Intro, Jeep/battery woes, vehicle cost lament.
• 03:00–06:00: Masculinity and hiring help.
• 06:00–08:50: DJ Easy Dick reads and answers absurd listener emails.
• 08:50–10:38: Drink spiking in Tempe; Holmberg’s roofie story.
• 10:38–13:56: Super Bowl on Valentine’s Day—relationship fallout, jokes.
• 14:00–20:36: DJ Easy Dick bits, (Soul Train cruise, more DJ riffing).
• 22:01–25:18: “Gutsy and Sin”—feature call.
• 29:19–32:24: “James and Candace”—feature call.
• 33:45–37:45: “Rick at Groggies”—feature call.
• 37:45–end: Wrap up, further banter, and comic callbacks.

Summary

This episode exemplifies the irreverent, quick-witted, and acerbic humor that defines Holmberg's Morning Sickness, mixing relatable Arizona-local stories, cultural parody, and bold, sometimes crass comedy. The interplay between Holmberg’s real-life car woes, local news (Tempe’s anti-roofie mandate), and the wild antics under the DJ Easy Dick persona (advice bits, listener calls) create a frantic, energetic episode packed with gags, satire, and envelope-pushing moments. If you love a blend of radio parody, biting social commentary, and edgy audience engagement, this is a signature installment.