02-13-26 - Holmberg Had Issues With A Dead Battery In His Jeep - More With KISS 1230's DJ Easy Dick Answering Emails And Taking Calls

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode: 02-13-26 – "Holmberg Had Issues With A Dead Battery In His Jeep – More With KISS 1230’s DJ Easy Dick Answering Emails And Taking Calls"

Air date: February 13, 2026
Host: John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, and DJ Easy Dick

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Episode Overview

This episode blends classic Holmberg humor with absurdity, auto woes, and the irreverent KISS 1230 DJ Easy Dick segment—a recurring parody rich with outrageous sexual innuendo and listener call-ins. The crew tackles: vehicle mishaps, new Tempe drink-spiking policy, the coming Super Bowl–Valentine’s Day clash, and an onslaught of cheeky and sometimes raunchy calls/emails to DJ Easy Dick, all with their trademark blend of lampooned radio personas, crowd engagement, and satirical takes on news and relationships.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Holmberg’s Jeep Battery Fiasco

• Holmberg narrates his auto troubles: His Jeep’s battery is dead after long neglect, leading to costly repairs. He rails against modern vehicle complexity (02:30).
• Banter about being unhandy: Holmberg leans into self-deprecation over hiring someone for 'man work,' feeling emasculated as the battery installer recognizes him from radio.
• On new vehicle design: Double batteries for the “start/stop” system are mocked, and the challenge (and expense) of changing them is lamented.
  • Quote: “There’s nothing worse. Now I know how Brady feels. Only it's less indentured servant to be a guy...with a black guy cleaning your house and you just sit there and watch it.” – John Holmberg (04:12)
  • Quote: “The only comp to that is, is a man calling another man to do man stuff at the house.” – John Holmberg (04:14)

2. DJ Easy Dick’s “Advice” & Outrageous On-Air Emails

• Comedic persona DJ Easy Dick answers wild and risqué listener questions.
  • Sample question: “How can I get my wife to enjoy taking it in the back door more?” The response is an intentionally absurd and dark riff, mocking bad sex advice. (06:05)
    • Quote: “The best thing about doing it with an unconscious woman is she wakes up sore, looks at you and thinks, hmm, he wouldn’t do that. I better stay quiet.” – DJ Easy Dick (06:45)
  • House-cleaning seduction question: DJ riffs with tongue-in-cheek stereotypes and musical seduction advice (Al Green, Barry White), packed with innuendo. (07:07)
• KISS 1230 “giveaways” and spoof promos, e.g. “lifetime supply of 9-volt batteries” for the “198,000th caller.” (07:51)
• Mock praise for “Rodney, the cleaner:” “That lady will be driven like a monsoon on a Vietnamese rice field. She’s gonna beg for more chocolate this Valentine’s Day.” – DJ Easy Dick (07:24)

3. Tempe’s New Drink Spiking Test Kit Policy

• Listener email prompts debate and jokes about bar safety: Tempe becomes first in Arizona to require drink-testing kits at bars (08:54).
  • Quote: “It’s like checking your pool. You put the thing in and if it turns purple…” – John Holmberg (09:09)
• Holmberg recounts being roofied: Describes confusion and impairment after unknowingly being drugged at a club last November. (09:38)
  • Quote: “I was a mess…not a drunk mess. Like a can’t-keep-a-thought mess. Couldn’t figure out how doors worked. I was in a weird, weird place.” – John Holmberg (10:38)

4. Super Bowl Landing on Valentine’s Day in 2027

• Big concern for relationships: News breaks that Super Bowl LXI will fall on Valentine’s Day—joking predictions of mass relationship strife, divorce, and bouquet/florist price gouging (11:10, 12:41).
  • Quote: “This could be a plan…like the divorce rate’s gonna go through the roof... The NFL’s like, pick—Which one do you love?” – John Holmberg (11:24, 11:42)
• Speculates on marketing impacts: Valentine’s stores and restaurants will clean up the night before, with men forced into double-duty. (12:41)
• Jokes about lawyers sponsoring halftime show:
  • “Cordell and Cordell [divorce attorneys] are the lead sponsors of next year’s halftime show.” – John Holmberg (12:41)
• Listener call ties in Phoenix Open overlapping and the financial pain of the scheduling (13:26).

5. Calls and Listener Interactions (DJ Easy Dick Show)

Highlight: “Gutsy and Sin” Call (22:01–25:18)

• Gutsy declares love for his girlfriend “Sin” (Cynthia), who he claims is “perfect.”
• DJ Easy Dick probes about prior stabbings (“the ex stabbed you...”), jokes about tattoos (Virgin Mary), weight, and Gutsy’s presumed heritage.
  • Quote: “The Mexican accent isn’t regional—it just means you’ve been stabbed.” – DJ Easy Dick (22:45)
• Banter about Gutsy’s lack of Valentine’s plans and potential gift ideas (knives, more tattoos).
• Concludes with DJ’s running gag: “Your name tattooed on your back?”—more jokes about Mexican surnames and tattoo space—plus a mention of Gutsy’s ability to survive “stabby” relationships (25:43).
  • Memorable: “Earth is a simulation…if you’re paying attention, it’s a very easy place to live.” – DJ Easy Dick (25:43)

“James and Candace” Call (29:19–32:24)

• James celebrates non-marital partnership and describes Candace (tattoos, “dishwater blonde,” great mother).
• DJ quizzes on family dynamics, exes, and their Valentine’s plans: camping and “trailer sex.”
  • Memorable: “Trailer sex is one of the sexiest things you could say to a woman.” – DJ Easy Dick (31:14)
• Ends with comical, explicit suggestion to “put out the campfire” with post-coital fluids—and Candace’s kids being someone else’s. (32:05)
  • Classic “HMS” edge: “Where are you going to finish on her? Tell me where you’re going to splurge, James.” – DJ Easy Dick (31:50)

“Rick at Groggies” Call (33:45–37:45)

• Rick calls to wish his daughter (her birthday on Valentine’s) and shares plans: going solo to a local bar, Groggies.
• DJ and crew riff on Groggies reputation: mocking “Bill Cosby” drinks, patron debauchery, and the sadness of Valentine’s as a single man.
• Rick reveals his wife passed away during COVID: show briefly takes a somber turn, then pivots back to humor about Groggies’ crowd and signature drinks (“Tears of Rick”).
  • Memorable: “You’re the grossest man I’ve ever spoken to.” – DJ Easy Dick (36:14)

6. Riffing on Soul Train Cruise & Race Stereotypes

• DJ Easy Dick promotes a “star-studded” Soul Train Cruise as an alternative to Super Bowl chaos: jokes about white people being too scared to attend (19:10).
• Quote: “Fear of whitey is what we’re calling this cruise… There’s no way a white person is gonna infiltrate this.” – DJ Easy Dick (19:13)

7. Super Bowl Date Creep & TV Ratings

• Holmberg explains the business rationale (Sweeps month, NFL season extension) behind the Super Bowl moving deeper into February (20:52).
  • Quote: “We’re wasting the Super Bowl by having it January. They tried to squeeze it into February…your monthly number was humongous.” – John Holmberg (21:00)

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• On new Jeep batteries:
  “You got that secondary battery somewhere living underneath it… There's two batteries in all these cars for that stupid start-stop.” – John Holmberg (03:07)

• On hiring help:
  “Nothing…the only comp to that is a man calling another man to do man stuff at the house.” – John Holmberg (04:14)

• Advice on being roofied:
  “I was a mess. Not a drunk mess. Like, a can’t-keep-a-thought mess. I couldn't figure out how doors worked. I was in a weird, weird place.” – John Holmberg (10:38)

• Super Bowl on Valentine’s Day:
  “You’re going to be in huge trouble… Now the NFL's like, ‘Pick, which one do you love?’” – John Holmberg (11:42)

• On racial cruise jokes:
  “The fear of whitey is what we’re calling this cruise. There’s no way a white person is gonna infiltrate this.” – DJ Easy Dick (19:13)

• Rick at Groggies (deep sadness and dark humor):
  “This is all disgusting for Valentine’s Day. It’s supposed to be about sex. Dirty, dirty anal. And you keep bringing in your children. That’s—you’re the grossest man I’ve ever spoken to.” – DJ Easy Dick (36:14)

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Memorable Moments

• “Gutsy and Sin” call: With rapid-fire ethnic jokes, tattoo guesses, and backhanded support, this call encapsulates the blend of irreverence and local color that defines HMS (22:01–25:18).
• Groggies call: Interplay between faux pathos (dead wife story) and relentless bar jokes make for one of the more darkly comic moments (33:45–37:45).
• DJ Easy Dick’s “conventional” sex advice: The satirical, bawdy tone skewers morning radio stereotypes.
• Discussions on Tempe’s anti-roofie move: Mixes local news, personal anecdote, and safety reminders—contrast to the otherwise raucous tone.
• Super Bowl–Valentine’s dilemma: Multiple callbacks and running jokes about the chaos this will cause in relationships next year.

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Episode Structure & Flow

• 00:00–02:30: Intro, Jeep/battery woes, vehicle cost lament.
• 03:00–06:00: Masculinity and hiring help.
• 06:00–08:50: DJ Easy Dick reads and answers absurd listener emails.
• 08:50–10:38: Drink spiking in Tempe; Holmberg’s roofie story.
• 10:38–13:56: Super Bowl on Valentine’s Day—relationship fallout, jokes.
• 14:00–20:36: DJ Easy Dick bits, (Soul Train cruise, more DJ riffing).
• 22:01–25:18: “Gutsy and Sin”—feature call.
• 29:19–32:24: “James and Candace”—feature call.
• 33:45–37:45: “Rick at Groggies”—feature call.
• 37:45–end: Wrap up, further banter, and comic callbacks.

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Summary

This episode exemplifies the irreverent, quick-witted, and acerbic humor that defines Holmberg's Morning Sickness, mixing relatable Arizona-local stories, cultural parody, and bold, sometimes crass comedy. The interplay between Holmberg’s real-life car woes, local news (Tempe’s anti-roofie mandate), and the wild antics under the DJ Easy Dick persona (advice bits, listener calls) create a frantic, energetic episode packed with gags, satire, and envelope-pushing moments. If you love a blend of radio parody, biting social commentary, and edgy audience engagement, this is a signature installment.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[DJ Easy Dick]

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[Valley Chevy Dealer Announcer]

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[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with a name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try [e-mail], progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Morning sickness.

[Sleep Number Announcer]

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.

[John Holmberg]

We just apologized. Heard some horrible language that doesn't belong anywhere on our broadcast.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Most definitely does.

[John Holmberg]

It was yelling for the Colorado mascot dinger. It wasn't the girl from hgtv. That poor girl. Ah, hang on, I'm getting Jesus God almighty. Yesterday I had a. It's non stop a car thing going on, right? So my Jeep, the, the black one, darky, it's been sitting in the garage since October.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Because when I got the Bronco I took the top off. I said I'll take the Jeep with the top when it gets cold or rainy and then leave the top off the Bronco and do that. And then the Jeep tops are easy enough take off. But I already did the Bronco one. So I've been driving around the Bronco the whole time with top down. I got the white Jeep has. It's all that's. I got this going on. And so I go back to the house. Megan's car had to be taken into service because there's something going on with the air conditioner. Guess how much an air conditioner costs to fix. $6,400. Not happening.

[Brady]

What a deal.

[John Holmberg]

What a deal.

[Brady]

You could put a five ton unit back.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I said. I said that's a house air conditioner for a small home. Put a mini split on the side or what? So yeah, so I load that up on top. So I said just take the Black jeep. Go into the garage, try to start it. Battery's dead's been sitting. I'm like, I should have popped this on or didn't do it. So I go to jump start it. It won't hold the charge. And I know that these cars have. And being the least handy mother alive, I know these cars are impossible to change the battery. It's not like, just, you know, undo it, pop in the new battery ready to go.

[DJ Easy Dick]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

You got that secondary battery somewhere living underneath it. There's two batteries in all these cars for that stupid start. Stop that. Oh, I hate that thing. And so I noticed that that was acting a little ticky and weird when the charge was trying to go when I had the jumpers on there.

[Brady]

You didn't reach out to that woman earlier this week that did her own wipers?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no, no, I should have. I actually thought about that. But I didn't want her messing around with my car, so I'm not changing that other battery. I don't even know. I don't even know what that looks like.

[Brady]

Doesn't have a rear battery, too.

[John Holmberg]

No, that was the old Cherokees, and that was just. The post was in the back, so when you jump started it, it was in the. You had to read manual, you know, was better. So I call and get this guy to come out, 700 bucks, come change my batteries, and the poor guy got there late. It's not terrible. It's better than me doing it, that's for sure. And, of course, there's nothing worse. Like when, you know, now I know how Brady feels. Only it's less indentured servant to be a guy with, you know. You know, he's cleaning your house, a black guy cleaning your house, and you just sit there and watch it.

[DJ Easy Dick]

It's awful.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing. The only comp to that is, is a man calling another man to do man stuff at the house.

[DJ Easy Dick]

And that's what I did.

[John Holmberg]

And he walks up, and of course, right off the bat, I'm like, yeah, I even kind of threw the whole dude talking to dude. I'm like, I try to change this thing, but I don't know how that second battery operates. And I didn't want to screw anything up. Basically saying, I'm capable of this.

[DJ Easy Dick]

I just chose not.

[John Holmberg]

But I'm not.

[DJ Easy Dick]

He.

[John Holmberg]

And he goes, hey, you're the guy from the radio. I'm like, oh, yeah, he knows.

[DJ Easy Dick]

He goes, yeah, you weren't gonna change this.

[John Holmberg]

And he just walks by me like, so, thanks a lot, jackass. So how about that? Try to get a battery bucks for two batteries. Sort of. It's one real battery and then a baby battery. And that baby battery is only for the thing that starts and turns off my car. And if you don't have them both going, you got change them at the same time. That's basically all it comes down to.

[DJ Easy Dick]

I think one of my Jeep buddies says there's a way to bypass that. I'll.

[John Holmberg]

There is. And I've not figured it out yet.

[DJ Easy Dick]

But I've talked to him. All right.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, get it off.

[DJ Easy Dick]

All right. Oh, no, it's just DJ Easy Dick got another email. He wants. Thank you. Exo has the car. Hopefully you guys are all done with round one with that rolling her over. I have a guy that asked me a good question here. Says, dear DJ Easy Dick, I don't know why that makes me giggle. Says, I got a question about how I can make it so my wife enjoys taking it in the back door a little bit more. Right now, the only way she seems to enjoy it is when she's unconscious. Is there any way I could keep her awake during that? You know what? That's right. Don't complain, my friend. If you're getting it that way and she's none the wiser, you're doing better than 90% of most married men. The best thing about doing it with an unconscious woman is she wakes up sore, looks at you and thinks, hmm, he wouldn't do that. I better stay quiet. And that's what we really want on Valentine's Day. A woman whose first thought when she wakes up is, I better stay quiet. Oh, my God. It's a Valentine's Day dream. Thank you for your question. This one says, dear DJ Easy Dick, I'm scheduled to clean a white woman's house today. And it is song to play while I seduce her while her husband is busy at work being overweight and unaware son Rodney. The main man made Rodney. You know what to do. Little Al Green, little Barry White, little Lou Ross. All you gotta do is keep it on Kissed. 12:30. There isn't with a city. And that lady will be driven like a monsoon storm on a Vietnamese rice field. She's gonna beg for more chocolate this Valentine's Day. So open her box and put your chocolate in it in a reverse move. And don't forget, when you're at that oblivious fat man's house, that rug. Rodney, clean up after yourself. Also, Rodney, you'll notice that their house is disturbingly quiet while you clean. You never once hear this. Do you, Rodney?

[John Holmberg]

Not once.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Ask how they do it, Rodney. Ask how they do it. All right, here's what we're gonna do. For all Kiss 1230 listeners right now. We got a lifetime supply of 9 volt batteries to the 198,000th caller. We're gonna get to that eventually. And you people will not ever have to worry again about what's going on.

[John Holmberg]

Oops.

[DJ Easy Dick]

All right, Kiss 1230 Studio has got a problem. Need to call an engineer here. That's the type of technology I just prefer to ignore. All right, I'll be right back. We'll be back with more Kiss 12:30 in just a little while. Thank you for that lifetime supply, 9.

[Brady]

V.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, I saw this, too. Tempe is the very first city. This is from Rochelle or Gilbert. Listener, she says, should have been freaked out ever since you got roofied at Playdoh. I got roofied at Playdoh last November, no question.

[DJ Easy Dick]

And she said so.

[John Holmberg]

Go get some of these. It says Tempe becomes the first city in Arizona to require drink spiking test kits be available to the patrons. Tempe is making it eventually. Hopefully by the end of the year, city wide.

[Brady]

You put a strip in there?

[DJ Easy Dick]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's like when you're checking your pool.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like when you're checking for chlorine. You just put the thing in there and if it turns purple.

[DJ Easy Dick]

I'm sorry, I'll be right back. That's what you have to hear next.

[John Holmberg]

Like, did you just turn my drink purple?

[DJ Easy Dick]

Mmm. Purple drink. No.

[John Holmberg]

Synth is the 7am word. S, y, N, T, H for the suite that feeds Nine Inch Nails suite.

[DJ Easy Dick]

We got going on over there at Desert Diamond. I can't get out of the mood. Maybe I can't do it.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, that's pretty good idea. Because, you know, always said, never, ever, ever, ever take a drink from somebody who isn't working there, who brings it over and hands it to you. And never, ever, ever leave your drink alone. Put your hand over it, if you can. That's a really smart move. You hold the drink from the top with your hand over the top. Because there's as a creepy thing, I've never. I don't know that I've known anybody who's ever done that to someone.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Have you?

[Brady]

No. But can you imagine doing the strip and all of a sudden it turns.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Brady]

Okay, let's get this guy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Or girl.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't think guys get roofied as much.

[DJ Easy Dick]

I did. I think somebody was joking with me.

[John Holmberg]

But I definitely did. That was. I've never been in a weirder state of mind than I was after the Palladio thing.

[DJ Easy Dick]

And I'm like, I don't. I drink vodka soda. This is not what happens when you drink vodka soda.

[John Holmberg]

I was not normal. The only thing I did otherwise was.

[DJ Easy Dick]

The Jameson and pickle juice. And I only had one of those.

[John Holmberg]

That ain't gonna last thing. I ain't gonna end me. But I was a mess. And not a drunk mess. Like a can't keep a thought mess. Can't have a. I couldn't have. I couldn't figure out how doors worked. I was. I was in a weird, weird place.

[Brady]

Did you steal someone's Cosmo?

[John Holmberg]

Of course I stole someone's Cosmo.

[DJ Easy Dick]

You know me.

[John Holmberg]

If there's a Cosmo laying up, I'm drinking it.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Horse.

[John Holmberg]

I. Brady. I'm the Cosmo king. No, I didn't steal a Cosmo.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Anyway.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. I didn't know this. Is that true? Is next year's super bowl on Valentine's Day? Did they do that? So I've heard.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just saw that. Is that right?

[DJ Easy Dick]

So I'll Google it. But that's.

[John Holmberg]

Heard a couple people say that they can't do that. They're just gonna. It's gonna be. You know what? This could be a plan to make like the divorce rate's gonna go through the roof. It's on Valentine's Day.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Fine.

[John Holmberg]

That's good. That's gonna cause so many problems.

[Brady]

Are gonna make it.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's gonna cause so many problems. I don't care about that. What's gonna happen is there's gonna be more domestic violence and more divorces from that than anything. Now the NFL's like, all right, pick. Which one do you love?

[Brady]

You know, I mean, dating package.

[John Holmberg]

You're going to be in huge trouble if you're one of those guys whose wife just kind of is like, your team's not even. She doesn't get it. Well, you have to watch Super Bowl. You should be in the Valentine's Day girl who, like, makes that a huge deal. And you're like, nuh, we're watching the Super Bowl. You got it. And then dudes are going to have to. This is brilliant. Valentine's Day and Super bowl executives got together and put this on. Because now the Valentine's people are going to. Three times as much is going to be spent on Valentine's Day next year on Friday and Saturday. So Super Bowl Sunday. We can get away with no Valentine's day. But the Saturday night. Make your reservations now. You have got to do something extra special for that girl who kind of allows you quotie fingers to watch football all year.

[Brady]

Panic.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I heard that Cordell and Cordell are the lead sponsors of next year's halftime show. So got to be divorce attorneys are they're going to go out and dance?

[DJ Easy Dick]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They'll do the singing. Oh, my goodness. Well, I. That's.

[DJ Easy Dick]

We're getting.

[John Holmberg]

We're getting crushed on that one. Oh, no. For guys with girlfriends and not wives. A wife you can look at and go, I'll take you out tomorrow. A girlfriend is gonna lose her mind, especially if she's new football. I'm telling you right now. Break up with her today before next year's super bowl and just let be single for the oh my God.

[Valley Chevy Dealer Announcer]

Texters are pointing out stars are lining because the super bowl is on Valentine's Day. Sunday, Monday then will be President's Day.

[John Holmberg]

So we'll all have the day off.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Well, that's good. But also. Yeah, we won't. We won't.

[John Holmberg]

But also people don't.

[DJ Easy Dick]

You have.

[John Holmberg]

They're just schools and banks. You have Phoenix Open that week as well. Dudes are getting killed having this going.

[Valley Chevy Dealer Announcer]

On on Valentine's girls at the Phoenix Open.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

They'll be.

[DJ Easy Dick]

They'll be.

[John Holmberg]

Well, look, you're gonna have. It's gonna cost us. It's gonna cost us double. Start saving now. You know what, Vanderbeeket? Try to go fund me your Valentine's Day for next year.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Next year. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[DJ Easy Dick]

That's a get that together. Visit homebirds morning sickness [e-mail] this episode.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with a name your price tool from Progressive you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try [e-mail], progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Pricing coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.

[Sleep Number Announcer]

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[John Holmberg]

Can I make my site firmer? Can we sleep cooler?

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[DJ Easy Dick]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness you Got me, Brett. There he is. By the way, I just want to come back in here and kiss 12:30 at the rhythm of the City. How you doing, Brady?

[Brady]

Feeling all right? Good.

[DJ Easy Dick]

You got big plans this Valentine's Day?

[Brady]

Nope.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Clear out all that mucus and go downtown.

[Brady]

Yep.

[DJ Easy Dick]

That's nice. Well, never, ever look a gift horse in the mouth there, Brady. Mucus is very, very, very, very slippery.

[Brady]

It's important.

[DJ Easy Dick]

It's an incredible lubricant. So if you can manage to, you know, get one of those weird kind of oysters that slides down the back of your nose and get it into your mouth and use it, you'd be sliding into any hole you choose. She won't even know it happened. Which I've heard from your wife that she doesn't know when it's happening anyway, so it's okay. But that's not. When Rodney said, hey, I just wanted to point out you brought up James Van Der Beek. We here at KISS 1230 are still super excited about our GoFundMe page for our celebrity who recently died. Desmond Wilson from Sanford and Son. We started a GoFundMe two weeks ago after Lamont from Sanford and Son died. And we're happy to announce we just hit that $100 mark. So where's Steven Spielberg? Where's Steven Spielberg from my. Desmond, please. John Singleton just threw in some money.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, good.

[DJ Easy Dick]

John Singleton just threw in. Oh, it's a. That's very nice. John Singleton just threw in a bean pie and $133. Thank you. One of the most. Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, here we go.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Tyler Perry just kicked in a medea wig and $43. That's nice. Thank you. Desmond's family can't keep their ranch. Seems like nobody cares about Desmond. No GoFundMe for Desmond, and he was on a show that won the Emmy for best comedy. Dawson Creek didn't win any of that. This guy's going to make $2 million to keep his ranch alive. Meanwhile, Desmond's family's trying to rent out his second bedroom in the apartment he died in. Kiss 12:30. Calling out hypocrisy this morning. All right, I got to go. I'll be back, though.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[DJ Easy Dick]

If you do want to talk to DJ Eazy, Dick, you can.

[John Holmberg]

Five at five nine eight zero. Do you want to say hi to your wife or your husband? And you want to give a Valentine's Day wish. We'll gladly take your calls at 585-9800.

[DJ Easy Dick]

And you can talk to. To the great DJ Easy Dick.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Yeah. Super Bowl.

[John Holmberg]

Well, Jordan Love on Valentine's Day, this guy says, I'm calling my shot Packers. That's pretty. That's a pretty good one. Jordan Love for Valentine's Day. And the packers get that. Put your money on that immediately. Excellent, Brian. So the Super Bowl 27 or whatever.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Super Bowl 61.

[John Holmberg]

But in 2027 will be Barry White, Al Green, and Lou Rawls right there. And that would be a pretty awesome halftime show. Just holograms. That has got to be. If Jordan Love gets in, we'll know for sure. It's all WWE scripted for sure.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Faux positive.

[Brady]

The other football news is Trump pardoned five NFL players. Former.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, really?

[Brady]

Joe Cleco, Nate Newton, Jamal Lewis, Travis Henry, and the late Billy Cannon were all granted clemency.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, because they had their felonies for their silliness.

[Brady]

Yep.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Anyway, I just want to say, Also, they kissed. Rev 30. Oh, we got phone calls. You want to see if. Oh, no. They're coming in hot, talking about their love lines here at KISS. Rough 30. While we're waiting to see the phone calls, Brett, where'd you screen those for me, please? My screener, Brett. He's good. I want to announce the 2027 Star Stud lineup for the Soul Train Cruise. That's a very real thing, and it's happening. Starting. It'll be on super bowl Sunday. Yeah, the 14th of February. And that rolls all the way to the 21st of February. Fort Lauderdale, Aruba and Curacao. I like that blue carousel. Who's gonna be there? It's gonna be crazy. The Isley Brothers, Stephanie Mills Mays, Patrice Rushin, Al McKay's Earth.

[John Holmberg]

Not Al McCoy's Earth.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Shazam. I've watched that for hours, though. The Fire experience, Russell Tompkins Jr. The new stylistics, Evelyn Champagne, King, Booker T. Jones, and so many more booking details are available for this incredible Soul Train cr. I'm guessing will feature zero white passengers. The fear of whitey is what we're calling this cruise. Is there no way a white person is gonna infiltrate this? They'll be scared to death. If you'd like to check it out, all those details are coming your way. Don't forget Club Nouveau, Chuck Brown Band, Urban Guerrilla Orchestra. That's a real thing. Tony Cornelius. These are actually on the list for the Soul train Super Cruise. February 14th through the 21st. Next year, Super Bowl Sunday. There's gonna be a lot of fights on the day. You've gotta check into the Soul Train Cruise, and you gotta miss the super bowl to do it. We pay our bills for the phones there, DJ Eazy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, they're pretty much the phones.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Just took a duck. They're good. That's good. Because you know what? They probably just hung up the phones and went right over to the Internet to go get their tickets on the Soul Train cruise.

[Brady]

Burners only allowed on that?

[DJ Easy Dick]

That's right. It's pret. Well, we have a burner and looks attached to the walls here because our phones are so good. All right, that's enough of that.

[John Holmberg]

Super Bowl Sunday is Valentine's Day.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Yeah. That's garbage.

[Brady]

I mean, this is silly, but when did the. Was this super bowl started getting into February? Wasn't always late.

[John Holmberg]

It used to be late January, and then they. Yeah, they added the 17th week for sure.

[DJ Easy Dick]

To get it into February.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it started when they.

[DJ Easy Dick]

When they start.

[John Holmberg]

One thing television noticed a while ago was, ooh, live events are the only thing we've got going for ratings since February and November used to be sweeps months. February, May, and November. They set their rates for advertising in those months. And so they're like, we're wasting the super bowl by having it in January. So they bumped in. They tried to squeeze it into February. It started, like, early 2000s. It was bumping around February 2nd or 1st, but it counted towards February sweep. So if you started the. The month on, you know, one of the networks would get that huge boost. Did 110 million people. So your monthly number was humongous.

[Brady]

Closes the gap, too, between how long football's off.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Well, yeah, but it ended up a couple weeks.

[John Holmberg]

Whether they want that or not. It was a financial move they're not really thinking about, like it's a financial move to get the advertising rights through the moon.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Yeah. Oh, man. Brett, what do we got there? You wanted me to take a call? Yeah, you're welcome. He's an easy dude. Welcome to Kiss 1230. I'm DJ Eazy. Dick slapping you. Crush your fat ass. Who's this?

[Caller]

This is Dusty.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Dusty, how are you this morning? Welcome to Kiss 1230. Can I help you?

[Caller]

Yeah, I'd like to confess my love to Sin. For the good times, the bad times, for all the fun times I get.

[DJ Easy Dick]

What's her name?

[Caller]

Sin.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Her name is Sin. Or you're just doing it to the actual sin from the Bible. Okay, her name is Cynthia. Cynthia. Describe Cynthia to us.

[Caller]

Oh, man. I got. I. I got to say, she's perfect for me.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Is she? I noticed from the accent you've probably been stabbed a couple of times. Is Cynthia one Of those types?

[Caller]

No, that was the ex.

[DJ Easy Dick]

The ex stabbed you. Where did she stab you?

[Caller]

In the arms and in the belly.

[DJ Easy Dick]

I could tell by your accent. Do you know that the Mexican accent isn't regional? It just means you've been stabbed and that it already happens?

[Caller]

Yes. Yes.

[DJ Easy Dick]

What are you gonna do if your Raiders make it to the super bowl next February?

[Caller]

It's all about Cardinals, baby.

[DJ Easy Dick]

You're a Cardinal fan. Okay, well, they're not. You don't have to worry about that. You've got Super Bowl Sunday for you, my friend. You can make your plans today to hit the Soul Train cruise. You can do it all week. You can walk starting today. And miss the entire season? If you feel like it. What was your name again?

[John Holmberg]

I've.

[DJ Easy Dick]

I've skipped it.

[Caller]

Gutsy.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Gutsy?

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Your name is Gutsy?

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[Brady]

It's because of the jab.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Is that a. Yeah. Well, yeah. Now hold on a second. Is that. Yeah. Is that where you get stabbed most often or is you're just gutsy to date the way you need to date?

[Caller]

I dodged most stabs. Just the ex cop.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Good Lord, Gutsy. Let me ask you a question. Cynthia sounds like a special woman. Now, can you weigh her on a traditional bathroom scale or do you have to take her to a truck stop?

[Caller]

No, she's not good on a scale.

[DJ Easy Dick]

She looks good on a scale. About what does she weigh approximately?

[Caller]

Around 170.

[DJ Easy Dick]

170. That's a little thick. She's about 5, 3 if I'm guessing by Gutsy standards. That was close. Where is the tattoo of the Virgin Mary on her body? I knew it. You know what? DJ Z? Dick's been around the block a few times. Gutsy. Gutsy, where did you get your. Your Lady Sin for her Valentine special? Oh, I. Nothing yet.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

All right.

[DJ Easy Dick]

That's all right, Gutsy. You'll get to it.

[Brady]

Kind of hard. How does your husband feel about it?

[DJ Easy Dick]

Let me tell you right now, some Starbucks. That sounds nice. Yeah. Keep her flowing in the back door. Get us some coffee. So that opens up back there. It's better than the Metamucil smell that sometimes happens. Also Gutsy, I understand that for people like you guys, Raven's crest is having a 50% off all knives. Maybe get her a tattoo of Joseph or Jesus Mother on the other arm as well.

[Caller]

Maybe. Maybe.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Let me ask you this. Is your last name tattooed on your chest or back? The back. That's what I thought. All right, Gutsy, you're a special man. Thank you for Calling and thanks for being part of Kiss 1230s Valentine's special for sin. We love you, Gutsy. Loves you sin. Thank you, Gutsy.

[Brady]

You think it's Gutsy on the back?

[DJ Easy Dick]

No, I think it's a. It's a. Well, I know what it is. It's that old English writing. It's probably Gutierrez, because that's what a Gutsy would call himself. There's too many Gutierrez in this, so they just call him Gutsy. Or the tattoo artist didn't have enough ink, so they just stopped that gut. We'll just add an SY if you don't mind.

[Brady]

The last part would be tiny letters to fit it in.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Yeah, I'm pretty goddamn impressed with myself, though. The Virgin Mary tattoo, the stabbings, the height, the weight. Earth is a simulation. And if you're paying attention, it's a very easy place to live. All right, I'll be right back. Not like I was Nostradamus there, right? Where's the Virgin Mary tattoo on a 5 foot 5 inch, 170 pound one?

[John Holmberg]

Hey, she's got one.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Oh, my goodness.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Oh, my God, no. Now the emails are coming in too fast. 551-70- he likes it. I like Gutsy. Gutsy and sin. If you live next door to them, you're gonna hear them through the apartment walls all weekend long. Probably some crying from an unattended child as well. Or stabbing.

[John Holmberg]

No, there won't be any of that.

[DJ Easy Dick]

He's already been through that.

[John Holmberg]

He's learned his lesson. She's not gonna stab him. All right.

[DJ Easy Dick]

We don't have a Wake up song. I didn't ask for one this morning.

[John Holmberg]

We can do a.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Somebody said, send me your money for the Vanderbeeks.

[John Holmberg]

Well, we could do that. How about a little Barry White?

[DJ Easy Dick]

We could do that.

[John Holmberg]

Little Barry White for Valentine's Day kiss.

[DJ Easy Dick]

12:30 rolls on.

[John Holmberg]

You can throw in all the rock you want, but Barry White's the one to go with.

[Brady]

Didn't someone cover it? The one song in metal.

[John Holmberg]

They did a Barry White metal song. I don't want to hear that. There's no reason to touch Barry White. I listen. I watched an old Letterman rerun the other day and Barry White, evidently In the early 80s, Barry White was camping and got lost. And it was a news story. So David Letterman had him on and give camping tips and they were hilarious. That dude's voice wasn't human.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Well, David, as you know, and it was just this booming thing.

[John Holmberg]

He was talking about camping tips and.

[DJ Easy Dick]

How to do a tent and like bre crumbs.

[John Holmberg]

And it was great. It's a little Barry White for Valentine's Day.

[DJ Easy Dick]

It's a beautiful weekend for all the ladies and men out there. We're going to give it out to all of you. And again, you can always. If our phones worked, it would be more fun, but they don't, so we can't. We can't participate. Give it a shot. Give it a shot.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you can keep trying.

[DJ Easy Dick]

It sneaks through. We'll get.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe Gutsy will get. Maybe Sin will get through.

[DJ Easy Dick]

And we'll try to get that going today.

[John Holmberg]

Is it ready?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[DJ Easy Dick]

All right. Barry. Why? Just started it. Which one? Oh, you'll know it.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, hit it, Barry White.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Oh, first, last. Yep, my everything. Barry White.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Visit homeworks morning sickness online at 98kupd.com.

[Sleep Number Announcer]

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[DJ Easy Dick]

Holmberg's morning sickness. All right, little Barry White for you on just 1230 at 98. KUPD's alter ego for Valentine's Day this morning. That one going out to Gutsy and Sin having this. That's a first. Last everything. Unless you count that first girl that he had sex with that stabbed him a couple of times. Otherwise, that is a very, very sexy couple. And we'd like to announce that that call went so well with Gutsy and his girl Sin that they have won one month supply. Rojo Montana's rm Trace. I can get some of that for knocking off you those Valentine's Day chocolate Town. I hate that this is happening, but we have the phones working, so let's give you Valentine's wishes out and close this up beautifully before we get to all that Brady news that we've got. James is online. Ron? James, are you there?

[Caller]

I am here.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Happy Valentine's Day, James. How are you this morning?

[Caller]

Happy Valentine's Day, John and crew.

[DJ Easy Dick]

That's right. Close enough. All right, go ahead. Now. We are on KISS 1230, the rhythm of the city. Talk to me about your love life, James. Go.

[Caller]

My love life's the best. I got the best girl out there. Her name's Candace and we've been together for five years. Not married, so we keep it fresh. Just eternally dating.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Eternally dating is a beautiful thing. Now, how soon after you met Candace did you impregnate her? And you Unmarried parents?

[Caller]

No, no. I got snipped a long time ago, so it's all for sport now.

[DJ Easy Dick]

All for sport. That's nice. Tell me. What? Describe this beautiful woman to me.

[Caller]

She's a nice dishwater blonde. Got some tattoo, little tattoos on the back and on the thighs. She's a very beautiful woman. Great, caring mother for her kids and love her a lot.

[DJ Easy Dick]

There it is. I knew those were the little rugrats are running around somewhere. They just didn't come from your seed. Do you get along with the ex husband or is he still in jail?

[Caller]

Ex husband, no jail. He's absent from the entire scene, so that makes it even better.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Oh, so he's a kiss 1230 regular list now. I appreciate it.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[DJ Easy Dick]

You can find him if you look hard enough. You just listen for the beeps.

[Caller]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[DJ Easy Dick]

All right.

[Caller]

But not looking.

[DJ Easy Dick]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

Don't look.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Why bother? He's just going to be there, and then he's going to need money. Right? All right. Where are you taking your beautiful lady off of Valentine's Day, James?

[Caller]

We're gonna do an overnight camping trip up there outside Flagstaff and go look at the Petrified Forest.

[DJ Easy Dick]

There's nothing better than sexy, unshowered outdoor activities on Valentine's Day where you get to hike, set up a tent, and then smell that musty, weird fish stink all night in the tent and realize we probably shouldn't have done this.

[Caller]

Absolutely.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Are you gonna try to have tense sex with your beloved?

[Caller]

Trailer sex, if anything.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Trailer. That's nice. God, that's hot. Just hearing that phrase right there.

[Brady]

Make sure it's your own.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Yeah. Trailer sex is one of the sexiest things you could say to a woman. Let's have trailer sex. And what woman doesn't bow to that? Remember, that was one of the lines in Romeo and Juliet. Shakespeare was a big one for the trailer sex. What did she get you for Valentine's Day, James?

[Caller]

You know, she's not a big believer in these holidays, gift giving and all that type of stuff. So we try to create the events for memories versus all the, you know, here's this, here's that.

[DJ Easy Dick]

That just goes away after a while. Yeah, exactly. It's a beautiful thing to just make it a daily activity and not be beholden to what the calendar says it is. Correct?

[Caller]

Correct.

[DJ Easy Dick]

That's right. Now, where are you going to finish on her? Tell me where you're going to splurge, James.

[Caller]

I think I'm going to go traditional.

[DJ Easy Dick]

And just dump it right in there. All right. That's nice. Yeah. Fill that bucket. I see.

[John Holmberg]

Good work.

[DJ Easy Dick]

That's right. And then very sexually, when you're about to clean up your campsite. I'm gonna make myself sick for this one. Just have her hover over it and just put the fire out. She can put down that retardant you put inside of her. And knock that forest down to a very safe level of smoke. And nothing more.

[Caller]

Absolutely.

[DJ Easy Dick]

All right. Well, good luck to you out there and have a great Valentine's, James.

[Caller]

Thank you, John.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Thank you.

[DJ Easy Dick]

We'll talk to you soon. We'll talk to you very soon. No, you don't get RM3, we gotta.

[Brady]

Don't drink the grave.

[DJ Easy Dick]

What would DJ Easy Dick do there for you?

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Oh, my goodness. There's a. Oh, goodness. I don't know if we have time for all this nonsense. DJ Easy Dick. Help me settle this argument with one of my baby's mamas. She trying to tell me I gotta sell my hellcat, start paying for child support. Is she gonna take me to court? I try to tell her that I need that car to get to work, to make money, to get food and water and such and milk. I ain't paid the car note in six months, so how can I pay for her babies? My main bitch agrees with me. This baby mama's losing her mind. Do I sell the car and pay my child support or do I just go to the gas station, get some milk, son. John, I think we both know we're out of milk, right? I think that's pretty much what this. The bridge is milkless. And it's time for a long, long time, possibly 12 to 15 year search for that. And then just hope that the child becomes a superstar. And you can pop back into their lives like Aaron Judge's daddy did. All right, let's go to the phones one last time and then close this out.

[Brady]

It works 95% of the time, all the time.

[DJ Easy Dick]

I agree with Brady. There's milk everywhere. Who's this? This would be Rick. Rick, are you there?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

How you doing?

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Doing quite well. Good morning. Welcome to DJ EZ Dick's Kiss 1230 Valentine Special. Go right ahead, my friend. Tell me about your lady, what you're going to do for the Valentines.

[Caller]

Actually, it is my daughter's birthday. On Valentine's Day.

[DJ Easy Dick]

That's disgusting. I don't want to talk about your daughter. We're going to take that sweet angel. Wear a condom. This is disgusting.

[Caller]

She actually has to work. She is in the medical field. So I'm just saying happy birthday to her and happy Valentine's Day. Because we can't spend her birthday together because of work.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Well, that's a beautiful thing. Do you have a lady of your own, or you're just keeping dibs on your daughter?

[Caller]

Just kidding, Diz.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

I'm my daughter.

[Caller]

No, I'm single at the moment.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Single. So what are you gonna do for Valentine's Day as a single man?

[Caller]

I'm gonna go to a local bar, hang out, play some pool, interact with some people, and just get socializing.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Yeah, you're gonna try to get some very sad, bitter squish that hangs out at the bar by itself as well. Could you name the bar? Maybe we could send over some prostitutes.

[Caller]

Groggies.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Groggies. Oh, that's a nice bar to go to on Valentine's Day. They have the drink at Groggy's called the Bill Cosby. That'll be very helpful on Valentine's Day for some of those. You got it.

[Caller]

But at Groggy's, got to be a secret, man.

[DJ Easy Dick]

I tell you what. At Groggy's highly recommend the Bill Cosby method. But you got to drop 2 in because most of the ladies at Groggy's stay awake from the regular dosage. Gotta up that.

[Caller]

So you think three is too many?

[DJ Easy Dick]

Yeah, I think three would be plenty enough if you wanted to drop three in her beverage and drop it down. It's gonna be tough to lift her up. She's dead weight. So make sure you get her in a chair with wheels on it.

[Caller]

I got a forklift. We'd be good.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Tell me. I'd like to see if you're the only one who's ever done this. You ever pull some wool out of Groggy's?

[Caller]

No.

[DJ Easy Dick]

I think that's pretty much the standard answer for every patron of Groggy's. Man, I get laid every time I go to Groggy's. Pretty much means you've been raped a lot.

[Caller]

Now it can't be raped because it's willing.

[John Holmberg]

That's true.

[DJ Easy Dick]

That is true. Unless it's pegging, and that's a whole different situation. We don't have time for the.

[Brady]

Those strips don't work at Groggy's.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[DJ Easy Dick]

So you're gonna go to Groggy's all by yourself, wander in there and then say, see if some boys want to play pool? No. You gonna sit at the end of the bar by yourself? Yeah. You and all the other lonely gentlemen thinking of their family members at work.

[Caller]

Hey, I'm okay with that.

[John Holmberg]

I got a lovely daughter that I'm.

[Caller]

Happy with, and I got great grandkids.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Oh, that's fantastic. This is all disgusting for Valentine's Day. It's supposed to be about sex. Dirty, dirty, anal. And you keep bringing in your children. That's. You're the grossest man I've ever spoken to.

[Caller]

Oh, quit it.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Where's Grandpa?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, of course.

[DJ Easy Dick]

He's at Groggies. Where'd Grandpa at? It's like you're like Savannah Guthrie's family if they looked. We know where he is. Don't worry about it. Don't call the news. We'll just go to Groggy's and pick him up.

[Caller]

I guarantee you leave.

[Brady]

Gi.

[DJ Easy Dick]

When you walk into Groggy's, do they say, hey, Grandpa, do they know who you are? Are you a Groggy regular, is what I'm asking. Oh, Brick.

[Caller]

No, not very regular. No. Very much of a bar.

[DJ Easy Dick]

No, you're not.

[John Holmberg]

But just gonna.

[DJ Easy Dick]

You're taking it up for this Valentine's Day just as a special little treat for Rick.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[DJ Easy Dick]

That's outlook.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[DJ Easy Dick]

And do you think at any time. Yeah. You think you're gonna sit at the end of the bar at any time during the night, realize you've had one too many, and kind of recognize the fact that you're crying?

[Caller]

I'm crying already.

[DJ Easy Dick]

I know. Hey, tell me why you don't have a woman in your life.

[John Holmberg]

You had at one point.

[DJ Easy Dick]

You did, and it was. You made a beautiful daughter out of it.

[Caller]

She passed away during COVID Good Christ. Yeah.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Oh, my God. You're the saddest man on Valentine's Day. Well, hopefully. Hopefully you find a live one this weekend at Crowded. I'm sorry for your loss. And I'm sorry for your absolutely horrible weekend plans. All right, thank you, Rick, for calling us this weekend. It's wonderful. Good luck to you. Happy Valentine's Day. We love. Thanks for calling KISS 1230 with the most depressing thing I've ever heard.

[Brady]

Wow. That was gonna be the answer, right?

[DJ Easy Dick]

Hey, remember when I said, brady, Remember when I knew? I did too. Remember when I said, call us with your love stories? And he's like, grandkids, daughter, dead wife, groggies. It's like, oh, this is. At one point, he heard me ask for a call and said, I'll do it.

[John Holmberg]

I have a story with this whole.

[Brady]

You know, GHB thing and drinks and stuff. I think Groggy's is a good name.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Groggies is probably. I mean, if you go there, just expect. Expect to sleep. It's right next to a bar called Sleep Study. And then that's where you just naturally progress. All right, I gotta. This is ridiculous. It was the stupidest things I've ever heard. Thank you, Rick. Good luck at Groggy. Go to Groggy's this weekend and just there's Rick. He's the one in the corner crying, most likely with a. Those Midori Sours.

[John Holmberg]

No, other people over there.

[DJ Easy Dick]

The Tears of Rick, they call that. You can order that. You say I have a Midori Sour. And like, I don't know what that is. He says the Tears of Rick. Oh, the green one. Okay, I'll go get that.

[Brady]

The Great Galentine. Stop, Groggy.

[DJ Easy Dick]

From what I just heard, I think Guts. He got his name for being the only dude with the nut guts to try to jump on sin. She's stabby and the Virgin Mary staring at you in the fit. That's got to be a rough one for Mexicans. Please call in and tell us. How hard is it to ejaculate while the Virgin Mary stares at you from someone's shoulder? If I get the Virgin Mary looking at me from a flank of a woman, I really struggle to keep an erection. I'm sorry, that's just me. Is also on your back. Oh, good. I get to. I get to finish the deal by covering the names of your children that are so conveniently placed on your lower back. Alright, I gotta go. D.J. easy to count.

[Brady]

He's had a busy morning.

[DJ Easy Dick]

He's very busy.

[John Holmberg]

Who knew? All right, we got a Brady report coming.

[DJ Easy Dick]

Got a Brady report coming. He's.

[John Holmberg]

He's taken over the show and it's very disturbing. Dave Attell will fix this. He's the most va. He would be at Groggy's on Valentine's Day. In fact, I kind of picture Rick to look a little like a tell. We'll talk to him later. Brady report coming up.

[DJ Easy Dick]

It's not weird.

[Caller]

It's pretty cool actually.

[John Holmberg]

No membership fees.

[DJ Easy Dick]

I have heard enough of this.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with a name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.