02-16-26 - FULL SHOW - MONDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode: 02-16-26 – FULL SHOW – MONDAY
Air date: February 16, 2026
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness is a classic blend of caustic humor, local Arizona flavor, listener call-ins, and the guys devouring everything from viral local news and personal anecdotes to pop culture, trending social issues, and listener advice. The hour is marked by unapologetic humor, irreverent banter, and raucous debate about topics like inheriting millions, marital drama, the slippery slope of family amateur videos, and why nobody wants to see pictures of your ugly kids.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener Inheritance Dilemma & Divorce Law

[01:08–10:00]

• Listener Wes' Letter: A regular listener emails to say he’s quitting his job and leaving his wife after inheriting $1.8 million. The guys debate what will happen next—mostly, that he'll burn through the money or that divorce will eat into the inheritance.
• Divorce Law Confusion:
  • Debate erupts about whether Wes’ wife will get a share of the inheritance in an Arizona divorce.
  • Some argue inheritances are protected; others (including listeners emailing in) claim the money can become community property if comingled.
  • Quote – John:
    “I would assume she's got a right to fight for it, that's for sure.” [04:17]
  • Advice: Go to a lawyer, act immediately, don't let new wealth establish a higher marital lifestyle, and don’t blow the windfall all at once.

2. The Dream (and Downfall) of Suddenly Getting Rich

[07:05–12:17]

• The group breaks down the math behind inheritance—can you really retire forever on $1.8 million?
  • Taxes and divorce will take a bite.
  • Invest it smart, but even then, it’s not untold riches; you’ll have a comfortable middle-class life, not yachts and mansions.
  • Quote – John:
    "Give me FU money, and you're hearing FU. I'm not coming in." [10:51]
• How people claim to never retire until the checks hit, then turn into homebodies.

3. Rideshare Drivers & The Myth of Work as “Choice”

[12:17–18:06]

• The gang mocks Uber/Lyft drivers who claim “I don’t have to do this, I just like talking to people,” insisting most are actually broke and bored after retirement.
  • If you're driving rideshare for fun, you're not doing as well as you let on.
  • The evolution from chatty rideshare drivers to the demand for driverless Waymo vehicles and the “please be quiet” button—people just want to be left alone.
  • Quote – John:
    "The lack of wanting to be with another person drives technology. It's been porn for the last 200 years and suddenly it's Uber drivers talking to you..." [14:28]

4. Viral Videos, Family Photos, and Internet Fame

[22:10–31:00]

• Holmberg’s recurring rant: Nobody but your immediate family wants to see your videos of kids or amateur wildlife shots—unless something insane happens to you.
• Morbid truth: The only time your “boring” home videos will go viral is if you become the victim of a crime or murder (Gabby Petito reference).
  • They mock Brady’s animal videos, insisting even videos of adorable owls are pointless unless someone loses their head on camera.
  • Quote – John:
    "Every video people make is boring. Nobody wants to see that broken out at all. ...You lop your head off and suddenly those all have 10 million views." [35:46]

5. Murder, Trials, and Arizona True Crime

[40:22–49:39]

• Local Arizona murder story: The case of Kimberly Lecount, a secret lover, a transitioned partner, and a triple shooting. The hosts marvel at the plot twists and speculate on the inevitable Dateline or Netflix documentary.
  • The panel reviews how modern social media and endless self-filming will shape future true crime documentaries—murder victims now leave endless footage behind.
  • Comparison to the Gabby Petito case, with AI recreating diaries and integrating vlogs into documentaries.

6. Restaurant Tipping, Viral Outrage, and Service Industry Woes

[52:57–61:19]

• The guys dissect a viral post: a woman leaves a zero/2-cent tip after a waitress called her husband “sweetheart,” sparking a flood of ridicule online.
  • Observations about insecure customers, “flow” diner types, and the toxic masculinity/femininity displayed in these incidents.
  • They reminisce about servers purposefully earning (or betting for) zero tips as a perverse kind of competition.

7. Weird News & Fun Facts (Brady Report Segment)

[64:08–88:53]

Ridiculous World Records and Consumer Oddities

• Spotify Stats: Train has more monthly listeners than Zeppelin, Eagles, Van Halen, or Pearl Jam—everyone is shocked.
• Pee in the Hot Pot: Teens caught urinating in a restaurant self-cooking pot in China, sparking hygiene and restitution drama.
• Sargento's “Real” American Cheese: After years of American cheese not qualifying as actual cheese, a “natural American cheese” finally hits shelves.
  • “Fat world” rejoices at grilled cheese sandwiches with legit ingredients.

8. Cannibals on Parole & Public Safety

[108:18–121:16]

• A Connecticut cannibal is being released after psychiatric experts say he’s no longer a threat.
  • The panel discusses the logic of releasing anyone who has “acquired a taste for humans,” comparing it to putting down animals after the first incident.
  • Quote – John:
    “If you eat somebody, you're out, you're out...Raping kids, harming puppies, and then, of course, cannibalism falls into that category...” [115:50]
• They riff on the possibility of cannibal halfway houses, roommate assignments, and warning neighbors.

9. What Would Brady Do? Listener Advice Segment

[126:28–132:42]

• Dominatrix Mother-in-law Dilemma: A listener finds his mother-in-law’s OnlyFans dominatrix page, filmed in the family guest room, and asks whether to tell his wife.
  • Brady votes for a tactful, all-in-the-room approach. John would spill the beans immediately, leveling the field with humorous candor.
  • Quote – John:
    “That's your mom. She's crazy. And I would do it immediately. I don't let. I'd let.”
• Transgender Neighbor Question: Another listener wonders if he should pursue his “hot” new neighbor even after suspecting she might be trans. The hosts debate at what point you “bail out” if surprised, with typical crude humor about finding out post-encounter.

10. Entertainment Segment & Pop Culture Debates

[142:37–154:17]

• OJ Memorabilia – Kardashian’s note to OJ in his bible, up for auction.
• Best Comedies Debate: Debating which films are truly funny “from start to finish.” The list includes Monty Python, Caddyshack, Airplane! (but not The Hangover).
  • Discussion of infamous lip-syncing fails (Ashlee Simpson, Milli Vanilli, Mariah Carey).
• Concert Parenting – Brady is the “neighborhood dip” who begrudgingly goes to Tyler the Creator concerts with his daughter’s friends, rather than give away expensive tickets.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Wet Blanket Math:

"I think what we're saying is, Wes, as wet blankets that we are, is you're not going to be the talent you think you’re going to be based on your 10% of 1.8 million.”
— John Holmberg [08:12]

On Inheritance & Divorce:

"Any income or wealth generated during the marriage is community property in this state. That's what I figured."
— John Holmberg [06:14]

Uber Driver Takedown:

"Nobody wants to do this. Go to the bar, for Christ's sake."
— John Holmberg [13:36]

Family Video Rant:

"If you're in it, it's automatically boring. Unless..."
— John Holmberg [34:21]

True Crime & Social Media:

"The best thing that's ever happened for me with the internet and all this TikTok and nonsense...is that for future murder documentaries, you've done all the work for the documentarian.”
— John Holmberg [47:43]

Cannibal on Parole:

"Once you get a taste of us, you’d think that's pretty much the end of it."
— John Holmberg [110:10]

OnlyFans Mom:

"That's your mom. She's crazy. And I would do it immediately.”
— John Holmberg [128:02]

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Listener inheritance/divorce drama & advice: [01:08–10:00]
• Rideshare/Uber driver jokes & societal commentary: [12:17–18:06]
• Brady’s boring animal videos & viral fame: [22:10–31:00]
• Arizona murder case (Kimberly Lecount) & true crime content: [40:22–49:39]
• Restaurant tipping & service industry woes: [52:57–61:19]
• Weird news (Spotify stats, cheese revelations): [64:08–88:53]
• Cannibal parole story: [108:18–121:16]
• Advice segment (“What Would Brady Do?”): [126:28–132:42]
• Entertainment/Pop Culture debate: [142:37–154:17]

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Show Tone & Style

The tone is sarcastic, off-color, fast-paced, and openly irreverent. John’s style is rapid-fire cynicism, often thinking several punchlines ahead. The show walks the line between crude, observational, and surprisingly insightful, regularly skewering social norms, listener problems, and pop culture sacred cows.

If you like unfiltered, uncensored morning radio with authentically local Arizona flavor, this hour is vintage “Holmberg’s Morning Sickness.”

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Note: All advertising, ad reads, promos, and intros were skipped in this summary.

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TL;DR
A million dollars won’t make you happy, nobody wants to see your kid or pet videos, never trust rideshare drivers who claim they drive “for fun,” Arizona law is confusing, and—if you inherit millions—hire a lawyer, not a divorce attorney’s ex-wife.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories this President's Day.

[Dick Toledo]

If you're shopping for a new truck, suv, electric vehicle or crossover, you owe it to yourself to check out your Valley Chevy dealers during the President's Day sales event. Live life bigger in a Traverse or the roomy and dependable tracks where versatility meets agility, or the Silverado or Colorado trucks that fit your lifestyle. Don't miss your chance to drive yours away this President's Day. See your Valley Chevy dealers or visit valleychevy.com for the President's Day sales event going on now. Together. Let's drive.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Brady]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into MMP Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he.

[Larry McFeely]

Can rest easy knowing it's not getting.

[Brady]

Into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Brady]

Easy legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it all online.

[John Holmberg]

It's really that.

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[John Holmberg]

All right, HMS Podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Downtown and stand up live. Get out and see the comedy of Moshe Casher and the up and coming Ari Maddie. Up north of Desert Ridge, you'll get Josh Wolf and SNL's Tommy Brennan and Eastside at the Tempe Improv. Don't miss the very funny Sam J. And more Josh Wolfe. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to stand Desert Ridge improv.com and tepeimprov.com do not listen to this while driving or when full alertness is needed. The Best of Homburg's Morning Sickness. This is the Big Red Radio. This is a good one. Here, check this out. Hey guys, I just want to let you know I'm out. No more Homur morning sickness for me. Don't get me wrong, I love this show, but if I wake up anytime before noon after the 3rd of March, it's going to be because I'm sick. I just inherited $1.8 million from my uncle it's like a Disney story. I'm leaving my wife. Oh. She's been making me unhappy for a long time, and I just haven't been financially ready to leave. But now I am, and I'm setting up shop in Phoenix. Maybe I'll see Joobird down there at the ranch apartment. Or apatapity. Nice work. You've paid attention to any of the more recent music. Bruno Mars and Rose. It's been a fun ride, but my days of driving rideshare, busting my ass and working for the man are over. I'm 44 years old. I did okay financially, but I didn't want the life I'd created. Now I'm gonna slay puss all day and do whatever I want. It's been real, boys. Thanks for being one of the very few bright spots in my miserable existence. Only four more days of being sad, Wes. Thanks for everything, Wesley. There you go. Congratulations, Wes. I'm glad your uncle's dead. Good for you. Go see.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That'S pretty great. A million eight, 44 years old.

[Brady]

Has a little coming into it, you know, whatever.

[John Holmberg]

Let's just say he's pulled half a. Half a million in this. He's hanging around. Two million?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Be broke by the time he's 50. And by the way, you got that inheritance, you haven't started the divorce process. Guess what? She's getting some of that half. Thank you, Ed McMahon. That's right. Shoot.

[Brady]

No, I think you got to. As long as it's not if it's in a separate account. But no, they. It's. I think it's different on inheritance.

[John Holmberg]

That goes to that person. They don't. That's not part of the accumulation of what you had while you were married.

[Brady]

Nope.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. I hope you're right. You've looked into this Brady. I'm worried about it.

[Brett Vesely]

Take her on a van trip.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Buy a transit.

[Brett Vesely]

Kind of worked in the past.

[John Holmberg]

Start driving around for a little while. Yeah. I hope Brady's right, but I would assume she's got a right to fight for it, that's for sure. Don't know how long you were married, but you're 44, so let's just put a 10 on that. Or a 5. 6. I'm not saying she's getting half. She's getting something. She's not gonna let you wander. And you better file those papers immediately so she doesn't get used to a certain lifestyle with this new money and then say, well, I can't go back now. I don't know what your situation is, Wes, but don't get too happy yet. And I love your idea, actually. Go see a lawyer today immediately. Don't go emailing us. Sad, Wes. Yeah. Scott says, be smart about this, or you're gonna be listening to this show by the end of the year. Again, Scott, you're right. Welcome back. Let's welcome Wes back to the program. It's like when boxers have to fight again and they're like, geez, you're fat now. I just love the sport so much. I'm like, you're broke, aren't you? No, I love boxing too much to step away. Oh, you're retarded and you're poor. No, no, no. None of that been happening.

[Brady]

So tell me about this movie you're doing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I've invested in a racehorse. Oh, Christ. We'll see you in November. I don't know about inherence, Brady. I hope you're right. I'm worried. This one says, in state of Arizona, you can't touch any inheritance in a divorce. I've learned the hard way. Oh, Donovan's chick got an inheritance in life. So when you get it. So that's why so many people get so excited about inheritance. They can finally ditch that loser and feel good about it and just walk away from every. Ah, that's. I've been bitching about that for years, listening to people going, my uncle dies, I get like a million dollars. I'm like, why are you so happy about your uncle dying? I see now, so you can get rid of that tub of goo you've been married to for a while.

[Mark]

Ah.

[John Holmberg]

No, String. That's news to me. I had no idea. I still imagine there's a lawyer out there. Oh, yeah. This one says, as a proud owner of two divorces, Brady is absolutely effing wrong. So now we have the counter of it. Any income or wealth generated during the marriage is community property in this state. That's what I figured. But then Donovan says no, Brady says no, Jeremy says yes, and he's a proud owner of two divorces. I know Cordell and Cordell on the phone. You need the professionals on this one. Yeah. Our friends over at Lerner and Row have a good divorce department. Oh, really? Yeah. I didn't know.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

I thought they just go right to them. Over to Kevin and.

[Brett Vesely]

Let's get Kevin in here.

[John Holmberg]

Talk to Kevin. I have to do stuff with them later today. I'll actually ask. I'll have. I'll. I'll have some answers for you tomorrow from the legal team.

[Brett Vesely]

He's got four more days to listen, so we're.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's true. He's got to hang out with us for the rest of the week. Why? Why not just quit today? What are you. Deep down, you know you might blow this money. You don't want to burn bridges at work. Just quit the guys. I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to tell you all the off today. I'm not doing anything else. I'm leaving. But, hey, congratulations. This guy said he only gets 1.8 million from his uncle. We'll hear back from him in a month. He could be gone in a month. It's not what you think it is. As far as you know, you gotta figure if you live to be 80, that's 36 years on a million eight. You start breaking down that math. You're like. Well, you're kind of. I don't know what you were making.

[Brett Vesely]

Before, but if you invest, you could.

[John Holmberg]

Be smart enough, but then you can't touch it. And then there's taxes.

[Brady]

Yeah. If you don't touch it and you say I get 10%.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If you're living off of it.

[Brady]

Yeah, he's after.

[John Holmberg]

And you're only. Yeah, you're only getting 10% a year growth and that's what you live off of. Maybe, but which wouldn't be bad.

[Brady]

People look, 180k.

[John Holmberg]

I think what we're saying is, Wes, as wet blankets that we are, is you're not going to be the talent you think you're going to be based on your 10% of 1.8 million going in. Let's say you even got two. 10% of that. Just 200 grand. And you could probably do pretty well. But you're still not gonna top level.

[Brady]

You're not yachting.

[John Holmberg]

No. You're gonna have a decent place. Not gonna be knockout. It'll be a 1600 square footer and the HOAS are gonna kick your ass if you want to live downtown. That's the one thing about living downtown. I don't understand why anybody does buy a place for 500 grand. You're like, this is crazy. And then the HOA is a thousand a month. It's an entirely separate mortgage payment. For what? Parking? So good luck, Wes. Keep us well. I wish I could tell you to keep us up to date. I hope you're really good with your cash. Go over to that Trajan wealth and see what they can do for you. Try to find out about this inheritance. A divorce is going to cost you more than you think. Or maybe not. I don't know about the inheritance rule. There's more. People chime. Everybody's been through this. Like, the sad thing is everybody's been through this.

[Brady]

What's the latest update?

[John Holmberg]

It says my dad had it had happen. He did go to Cordell, and Cordell, the lady who did the divorce is named Miss America. No joke. That was her last name. She's amazing. They told him he can't touch the inheritance, and now I have to take care of him. I learned the hard way, like I said. So he tried to get his wife's inheritance. I wonder if it's different for women since they're allowed to. Like, they have different rules and court. You got to go out to Trajan, figure this out. Az law, divorce, can't touch it. Two marriage guys. An idiot. All right, so I'm getting more. If this is a vote majority saying that he can't. She can't touch her inheritance. I don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

A lot of these guys are up with us this early, so it seems like they've. She's touched a few of those inheritances.

[John Holmberg]

She's been out there. Oh, my. Yeah. This one says, why not get a job and roll the dice? A1 means work for a week and get fired. A4 means four weeks and get fired. You're claiming you have fu money. This is what I would do if I was rich. Go grab some dice, and that tells you how many days you have left working. 1, 3, 4. Work a week and get canned or go in there and try to get fired and then email us back with a story of what you did. Piss on the vegetables. Anyway, thanks for emailing, Wes. And thanks for sticking it out with us until you were too rich to listen. I think I'd spend if I got just a couple million bucks just handed to me, like, boom, here you go. I think there'd be a whole year of, you know, closing up shop, too. Then he'd have to be smart. You know, people always say that. I always ask Doug Hawkins, I'm like, you, when are you gonna be Don? He's never. What would I do with my time? I have to have. I have to have a job. And I'm like, man, not me. And give me. You give me FU money, and you're hearing fu. I'm not coming in. And first sign of trouble, I quit. There's no possible way I'm gonna allow stress in my life for work if I've got that kind of cash.

[Brett Vesely]

That was my dad. He always Said of growing up, oh, I'll never retire. Then when he retires, I don't want to do a goddamn thing.

[John Holmberg]

I can't even get him out of the house half the time. Yeah, some people. My dad still likes working, but he found new things to do. He's just busy. Yeah, but he doesn't want a job. He doesn't work for a dude anymore. It's.

[Mark]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I. I have no problem. I talked to Jay up at Tactical Black. I'm like, once I close her up, I close it up. Oh, you'll. You'll need to be. You'll start a podcast or something, right? Like, no, sir. I will be disappearing from society. Gone. You'll never hear from me again. Like, why? Because. Done enough. Plenty. Whole point of working is so you don't have to work. It's like Mr. Miyagi, you work so you never have to work again. You work to the point where you say, I don't have to do this anymore. That's the whole point of a job. It isn't to put you in the ground and you can find whatever you want to do. If you want to keep working, do it. You don't.

[Brady]

Call from a buddy yesterday, I'm in Orlando. I decided to.

[John Holmberg]

He just decides to move.

[Brady]

You know what I mean? No, Just go there for a week and play some golf.

[John Holmberg]

Come back when he wants.

[Brady]

I'm come back probably on Tuesday.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Never know. Open ended ticket. Because you know why? He worked until he didn't have to anymore, and now he's doing whatever he wants. That's truly retirement. Doing whatever you want. Some people want to go work at Walmart. Some people do. How many times you been in an Uber with a dude? You know, I retired early and I just need to do this. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're broke. I don't believe anybody retired early and just needed to get out there and drive people around the city. Unless they blew it. There is nothing to me that says comfortable retirement. Less than. Why don't I pick up strangers and chat with them for a while? Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't see Bezos handing out samples at Costco anytime soon.

[John Holmberg]

The second I had to stay busy.

[Brett Vesely]

You know, this Amazon thing got, you.

[John Holmberg]

Know, a little much. Little, you know, got.

[Brady]

We never made money.

[John Holmberg]

I stepped away and I said to myself, you know, I just want to be with the people. I know you're broke. Uber driver. The second you tell me I don't have to do this. Yeah, you do. The minute you say that. Yeah, you do. I don't need to do this. I do it because I want to. Nobody wants to do this.

[Brett Vesely]

I like being around people.

[John Holmberg]

Yep, nobody wants to do this.

[Brett Vesely]

Go to the bar, for Christ's sake.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. Go sit at a bar and drown your misery with the other weirdo. Go to the Swizz. It's a soon to be Holmberg Swizz. Alone? You heard me, Beth. Anyway, not allowed to talk about it, but yeah, go to the bar and go. What's your. What's the Matthias bar? There you go. Local legends out there in the East Valley. The Tap Dragon is a big hit. Head on over there and sit down and tell people, I don't have to sit at this bar. No, of course you don't. It's a choice. You're driving. Ride share. Something's going on. You either hate your wife so much that you just. You can't. You'd rather sit with strangers and drive them to the Scottsdale Airport from Glendale. I don't have to do this. You want to take surface streets. It'll take longer and then we can talk more. Oh boy, oh boy.

[Brett Vesely]

Thank God for Waymo.

[John Holmberg]

But congratulations, Wes. I know. That's why Waymo was invented. It's cuz you Uber drivers got a little chatty. At first we thought we could quell the chatty Uber driver with a button on the app that said you want it to stay quiet the whole time. We told him before we got in the car in the rudest way possible and a non confrontational way of saying no talking. There was a button on there. Uber drivers got so chatty that we had to invent a button that says leave me alone. I just want to sit in the back and stare at my phone and act like I'm busy with emails, when really all I'm doing is playing Vita Mahjong. So how do you do for a living? Stop the car. I wanna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna call Uber immediately and ask for a please don't talk to me button. And they did it. Then they're like, it's not enough. The Uber drivers still sometimes talk Waymo. What we need is no driver at all. Is that possible? I'm like, we'll get right on it. The lack of wanting to be with another person drives technology. It's been porn for the last 200 years and suddenly it's Uber drivers talking to you has driven the Waymo technology through the move. Five, six years ago. Do you ever imagine.

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[John Holmberg]

When Uber. Uber. First hit. It's like peak. You're like, this is the greatest thing ever. I can drink, I can do whatever I want. There's some dude who'll come pick me up. Twenty years ago, there was a service where a dude had a mini bike that folded in half. I don't know if they still have.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, that.

[John Holmberg]

And you call him up and go, I'm drunk scooter.

[Brady]

Or something like that.

[John Holmberg]

Or I don't know what it was. I remember, I don't want to leave my car at the bar. And then he would scoot me on this little like 50 horsepower Briggs and Stratton homemade bike. And it would fold in half. And he'd come and get you and stuff his bike in the back of your car, drive home, scooter back, scooter back to the next dude. And we thought that was awesome. Then Uber happened. Then they got chatty. Now Waymo, we're closing in on teleporting. It's getting there. It's getting close. The hover cars are actually occurring. There's that dude who invented those a little while. He's like, I got them. I just got a clear airspace now in the next five years, these are going to be out there. And I can't wait. Because they're Waymo based hover cars, so you don't even have to learn to drive it. It'll get you there. You don't need roads. You just need to tell it where all the power lines are. That's basically it. And I will be really happy to be one of the test people on that.

[Brady]

You. We need you. That's good.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'm. I'm proud to do. I'll be happy to do it. And if I get cooked up like a myar balloon. Power lines right here.

[Brady]

You're welcome.

[John Holmberg]

Mark that down. Yeah. If I can make travel better for the future, I'll do it. Congratulations, Wes. I hope another relative with money dies soon so you never have to work with me. I find it weird when you root for relatives to die so you get a better life. But. Sorry. Poor uncle work so hard to give your deadbeat nephew. I wonder why a nephew would get. I wouldn't never hand my money to a nephew.

[Brady]

No, there's a couple. I mean, you know, you could be. No kids. Uncle or aunt could have been raising that.

[John Holmberg]

That's true.

[Brady]

You know, because mom and dad were.

[John Holmberg]

That's true.

[Brady]

Down out or whatever or messed up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's true. I guess if you were like really.

[Brady]

The mom because you always hear those scenarios like, oh, or you have aunt or uncle that was absolutely loaded. They just trickle it down to the relatives.

[John Holmberg]

Wealthy, yeah, wealthy uncles that start handing. But even still, if I was a wealthy uncle, a deadbeat nephew's not getting anything. I'll pat you on top of the head, but, you know, probably gonna hand a lot of that to the humane society or lost their home pet rescue and tell this nephew, go get a life of your own. I had to do it. So I just got out of an Uber. The 44 year old female Uber driver says she's going to divorce her husband who just inherited money in four days. Can't wait for him to get out. Yeah, it's probably true.

[Mark]

I don't have to do this.

[John Holmberg]

That's how I know you're broke. Uber driver. I got one, dude, something was wrong. I had, I flew JSX and I had the Scottsdale airport to my house and he's, he's on Thunderbird and he goes, I'm going to probably end up going all the way to 51 on this. It's easier. I'm like, that's fine. It's going to take, just take a minute. I'm like, all right. We get to the end of the airport fence. What do you do for a living? And I do the patented, ah, caskets. I make caskets. Ah, it's quiet when I get worked. I'm back into pretending I've got a game on my phone that's working even though my phone was dead. You know, I'm a, as an engineer and a lawyer, like, that's fantastic. How'd you blow it? So you had to do this. What happened? I mean, what kind of drug habit did you get into with two incredible educations like that? Anyway, I don't have to do this. I just get on getting out of the house. And when you're retired, you don't get to see people. That's a choice. You did that on purpose. Bars, there's all sorts. You didn't have any friends in the time you. And then I realized, oh, engineers are weirdos. That's why I forgot. Ask any engineer about who they don't want to hang out with. And it's other engineers. They're very strange people. Engineers are odd. Add the word lawyer to that, now you're a pariah. So that's why he's driving Ubers, because nobody would talk to him for 38 years. And now he's retired and it was a decent car. It was a Minivan I'm like this.

[Brady]

People used to come in to talk to me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but it was always problems. Nobody wanted to talk to you. They wanted you to solve their problem and you didn't make friends out of it. It's out of control now.

[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here from the Morning Sickness to tell you about the Core Institute. People who met me found out that I've had four major operations in the last four years. They' blown away. I've had both shoulders replaced and both hips replaced because I was an absolute disaster before my surgeries. I was in pain. Now no one knows I've had any issues. People who hear multiple surgeries assume they'll never be the same again. It's just not true. I'm better than I've been in 20 years. Stop quitting the things you love and get back to being the pain free you you love the Core Institute.com here's more of the best of Homework's Morning Sickness 98 KUPD like Do you think that if you didn't have this job that any video you have ever done with Kirby at all is interesting to anyone in the world outside of your mother? Do you think you there People do this all the time. Here's pictures of my kids Here's a video of my kid. It is a death sentence.

[Brady]

Yeah, you do it. You. You do it for the kid. You know, the thought is, oh, when.

[John Holmberg]

They get maybe older, then stop showing it to normal people at dinners. That's why people who don't have kids stop hanging out with people who do have kids is because people with kid. Brett, you can back me on this. People with kids don't know how to communicate, and before you know it, somebody's showing a photo of their child. Please stop doing that. Oh, here's blah, blah, blah at the. Here's blah, blah, blah at the botanical.

[Brady]

Definitely easier at the hand, but at the same time, there's a. A lot of that. That transition has changed from the kids. You know, Let me see a picture of your dogs. Let me see a picture.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know nobody wants.

[Brady]

But I don't think they do, The. The days of where they're like, you're sitting down there, like, check this video out.

[John Holmberg]

You don't have to. Now you have it in, and people don't. Parents don't realize how boring they've become when they're. When they look and they're like, do you want to see a bunch of videos of my kids standing there? No. Not a soul outside of you is interested in them. Nobody. Grandma and the parents. You don't ever want to see that.

[Larry McFeely]

No.

[John Holmberg]

I've never once been at a dinner where I'm like, great, somebody's whipping out photos of their children. This is.

[Brady]

My brother puts a compilation together once a year. It's at Christmas, and it's.

[Brett Vesely]

But you don't think people want to see this.

[John Holmberg]

There's Brady murder. There's another murder stuff here. Yeah, See, now Brady's head gets lopped off. This video gets interesting because you know what it would turn into is Brady zooms in on an owl. He sees and disturbs. By the way, the owl was fine. Brady's getting closer back to his burrow. No, he was in his burrow. He was enjoying.

[Brady]

There's the burrow.

[John Holmberg]

Whatever. He was enjoying life in the grass.

[Brett Vesely]

He was sunning himself.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? You were.

[Brady]

Yeah, I bothered him.

[John Holmberg]

You know what you were. You were a fat.

[Brady]

For you guys.

[John Holmberg]

No, thanks. Right? And until your head falls off, that video will remain boring. You know what that is right there in the animal kingdom. You just became the weirdo at the public pool with a heart on. Everybody's in their seats going, oh, God, he's getting close to me. Run. Get underground. But until you die.

[Brady]

That was a burrowing owl. Not. Not a brown bear.

[John Holmberg]

Not interested.

[Brady]

Saw one of those the other day.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna cut your head off. Not interested.

[Brett Vesely]

I have the videos ready for the documentary.

[John Holmberg]

Not interested. You walking through the park as a sad old man filming animals that don't want anything to do with you is boring until someone cuts your head off. You, sir, are guilty of. And you know what the headline would say? Retarded radio man. Because they'd watch the video. They'd be like, oh, they wouldn't use that word. Okay. Mentally disturbed jackass. You're right. They wouldn't call you a radio man. There's no way. They'd listen to that and be like, oh, he's a. Make a wish.

[Brady]

Just.

[John Holmberg]

Retarded man tries to attack owl has head chopped off. Like, oh, oh, let's see the video of the owl now. And then you hear the mentally challenged down syndrome.

[Mark]

Look at him in the.

[John Holmberg]

He's sitting in the grass as owls. Oh, he's going back to his home.

[Mark]

I made him upset my head.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Nobody wants to see videos. I was. I saw my uncle for the first time in a while yesterday. He's popped on it kind of out of the blue. Popped into town. So I hung out with him for a little bit. You know what we didn't do once? Break out our phones and show each other children. His lady friend asked me if I had dogs and then wanted to see a picture because she used to have a bulldog. So I showed her bus, and then I put it right back. If you ask, I'll show you. But people don't really mean it with kids. No, Dogs are more like. Dogs are funnier than your children. Your children most of the time. Here's what people think when they look at your picture. Your kids. Wow, that's an ugly kid. Most of the time. That is like 90% of kids are ugly going the wrong direction. 90% of humanity is ugly.

[Brett Vesely]

And also, does any look on my face make you think I want to see this? What the hell is wrong?

[John Holmberg]

And for those of you who don't know, Brett can go dead face better than maybe anyone. I've been with Brett when somebody's killing him with a story that. And it's probably Brady, but it's a story that just is going nowhere. And Brett's eyes.

[Brady]

I see his dead face all the time.

[John Holmberg]

I bet. I bet you think that's his normal face.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like I have seen. I have been with Brett when somebody's killing us with a story. And not only will you dead face in the middle, Brett will just go, oh, my own. Then he'll just like your story will get punched by Brett.

[Brett Vesely]

I have time for this.

[John Holmberg]

I. I can play pretend for a little bit and then talk about you later. Jesus Christ. That guy showed me one more pictures with goddamn ugly ass kids. Most of you have to realize that your children are hideous, ugly little beasts. Don't show us pictures of your kids. Or they're weird looking and we're going to make fun of that later.

[Brett Vesely]

Not my little Caden.

[John Holmberg]

I remember there was a lady who had like, she looked like she was from Narnia. And she goes, my daughter. Blah blah, blah. I'm like, oh God. But I didn't do Brett's dead face. I didn't do a maron. And she breaks out her phone and her daughter is. Is the hottest thing I've ever seen. And I'm like. But the story there was. You didn't. That's not your DNA. You're a surrogate, right? Most people break out pictures of their kids and they've got a bad haircut or they're just gross and nobody's interested. And your kids aren't funny unless your or their heads get lobbed off. Then suddenly I want to watch all the videos of your kids. I mean, Brady's Instagram feed is a perfect example of while you're alive, your. Your videos of you doing stuff. Boring. Boring. That poor owl just sitting there. What are you doing, jackass? I'm just in the grass, sun and myself.

[Mark]

I'm gonna approach him slowly and oddly.

[John Holmberg]

Ah, this prick. I wanted to stay out for a little bit, but I can't. Asshole. You know that owl just looked at you from the burrow. I hope someone lobs his head on. Then I'll be Internet famous. It's true. That's why parents all move to Gilbert together. Because they realize that no one's. Everybody's dead facing them. They're like, what happened? They go to Gilbert and everybody's wide eyed and happy and it's like we don't know how to behave either. Here's photos of my children. Here's a bunch of pictures of my kids. As good as your kid.

[Brady]

I don't know very many guys that do it to other guys. It's just you don't do it all that often, right?

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's mostly the women that are get them together.

[Brett Vesely]

Some guys do.

[Brady]

I would never.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean I don't hang out with pussies like that.

[John Holmberg]

But you start breaking out photos of your kids. I'm like, you got nothing to talk about. Dude. This guy says, I'm not even interested in my own kids videos. When my wife shows me. I've been there. I was there. I've seen it myself. Why do I need to relive this? Dude's got the greatest name of all time. That comes from Hoffmeister. Thank you, Hoffmeister. Yeah. If you're. If your wife. And it's. And you know who's to blame about this is the husband. When the wife. When she breaks that phone out, you say, hey, hey, hey, hey. We're in. We're in mixed company of people. Nobody wants to see our ugly ass kid. Put the phone down, buddy.

[Mark]

She was dancing.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody. Nobody wants to see that unless she gets kidnapped. Now, if you broke the phone out and said, our daughter's been missing for two years, I'm gonna watch all sorts of dumb, boring videos of your dumbass, ugly daughter. I'm not looking for her. But I'll be like, this is tragic.

[Mark]

We don't let you know.

[John Holmberg]

And still Brett would go, I'm not alone. Videos of kids. It's true. Yeah. It's up to the husband to tell the wife. No, no, no, no, no. Nobody. This. You're the least interesting person in the world right now.

[Mark]

Oh, shut up, Roger. People love looking at our kids.

[John Holmberg]

No, you're lost. This is why we live in Gilbert. We're not allowed to hang out with normal people anymore. We're only allowed to the people who. I have children. Photo evidence. Me too. Photo evidence. Nobody needs to do that.

[Brett Vesely]

I'd Tom Brady her phone if she started breaking out pictures and stuff. That's it done. Yeah, you want the new iPhone 16? Here you go. Cause I'm smashing this son of a bitch again, though.

[John Holmberg]

Hang on to them. Just don't show them to anybody. And if anybody wants to get Brady 20 million views, you know what to do. We have to find part of him in one part of the city and another part in another part of the city to make any of his videos. Good.

[Brett Vesely]

We're looking at you.

[John Holmberg]

Brady's murder has. Brady's murder can't be just a gunshot to make his videos interesting. In order for you to get 7 to 10 million views, your story has to be like. You have to be drawn and quartered. We have to find bits and pieces of you all over the place, because otherwise, you're gonna get shot. And people watch some of your videos and go, good. But you have to have an interesting murder for your videos to be interesting, because you and the praying mantis and the bee and they mother owl. Oh, and that's not just Bash and Brady. Most you have a boring Instagram page. God forbid you show anything you've eaten.

[Mark]

Here's me chopping up some celery.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, but again, there's a good chance if that chopping up celery video gets 7 million views. Turns out your head got cut off by that same knife. Oh, here's pictures of eating. Eating. Oh, there. There you go.

[Brett Vesely]

There's pictures of him eating.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady]

Eric's family barbecue.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my. Oh, nobody can. Oh, Brady's the only one that ever ate anything, so we might as well.

[Brady]

That lasted a long time.

[John Holmberg]

Document that. Wow. A human that ate something.

[Brady]

We've got the mama over here.

[John Holmberg]

It's a bird. I'm cutting your head off.

[Brady]

You hear the golf teeth? And there are her eggs, right?

[John Holmberg]

Jesus, you're the worst videographer ever. You can't even find the damn egg.

[Brady]

Where are they?

[John Holmberg]

I betcha there they are. I bet you dummy with his phone even closes one eye when he's filming. I don't. Those are just a pile of rocks.

[Brady]

There's a few speckled eggs.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even see eggs. And I don't care. He didn't either. He had a finder camouflage. You honestly thought that was worth look anything? What about this one?

[Brady]

Funny.

[John Holmberg]

Ha ha.

[Brady]

There's a design behind the video.

[John Holmberg]

What is it exactly?

[Brady]

This.

[John Holmberg]

We don't want to get a rise out of it. We were doing it for a while. If it's a. If it's to get a rise out of me, shouldn't I be a target? To what? I've never seen these videos.

[Brady]

That's why the.

[John Holmberg]

He says the reason he's doing it is so I get a rise out of it. I've never seen Slappy over here.

[Brady]

We'll pick it up the next Sunday.

[John Holmberg]

Only when we're talking about how boring you are. He's proving it. That's why there are. No, it isn't. You are not making boring videos for three years later for us to make fun of.

[Brady]

Three years later.

[John Holmberg]

How old is that video of him with that egg?

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know.

[Brady]

That's at least that. But that was the fun of it. Of what? I mean, doing the.

[John Holmberg]

The video so I would make fun of it someday.

[Brady]

That was funny.

[John Holmberg]

Why wouldn't you come in and go, hey, I made some videos you might be interested in.

[Brett Vesely]

5-17-22 was the sloth.

[John Holmberg]

That thing is three years old. Yeah, and it's designed for me.

[Brady]

Not designed for the whole. The. Yeah. The joke of it all.

[John Holmberg]

Not for you to be boring.

[Brady]

Yes. I mean the Valley.

[Brett Vesely]

Thanks.

[Brady]

A spoof of Wild America.

[John Holmberg]

I get it. But they're doing the voice of the guy. Is that what you're doing? Oh, Brady Attenborough. That's Attenborough.

[Brady]

That's Brady Attenborough.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Brady]

Maybe I'll say that next.

[John Holmberg]

Sounded just like Brady.

[Brady]

Hello, my friends.

[John Holmberg]

What a. What the point made is. And it's been cemented. Look, the point has been hammered down. Nobody wants to see and okay, I'll give you the Internet videos of two dogs doing it. Missionary is pretty good. If you're involved in that at all. If you're voicing it, if you're laughs and the adventures. I'm saying you're no different than anyone else. Nobody's videos themselves in them. Them, yes, sir, are. Are good. If you're in it, it's automatically boring. Unless.

[Brady]

Which most of the time.

[John Holmberg]

Right, I'm not in. Now these. I'll give you that. You do a panda eating a giant carrot, which I think is AI. I don't know what that is.

[Brady]

Is that a squash? You know, those are just.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, those. But you taking a bite of a burger, you know. Come on. If you're in it, it's a boring video. I guarantee it. And not just because of you, because nobody wants to watch.

[Brady]

The reason I'm doing. You know, that was just where you're at.

[Larry McFeely]

Your.

[John Holmberg]

There's some with you with a mask on. That's.

[Brady]

I could bring more people to Eric's family barbecue. That's okay. I just got my first vaccine.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, Brady.

[Brady]

Jesus Christ.

[John Holmberg]

Cut his head off. This is for me.

[Brady]

No, no, that one's not okay. I'm just about five minutes after I got it in the arm. Everything feels fine. I can definitely feel where I got the shot.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Christ. Oh. Oh. And it's not just you.

[Brett Vesely]

Where's the pr?

[John Holmberg]

Go through anybody's Instagram page. Every video is boring. Every single video people make is boring. Nobody wants to see that broken out at all. Oh, my God. But that's it. You lop your head off and suddenly those all have 10 million views. And some are sad and some have. It just adds meaning to meaningless things.

[Mark]

Hear the words you say sometimes.

[Dick Toledo]

I mean, who talks like that?

[John Holmberg]

98 KUPD.

[Dick Toledo]

The Winter Olympics have begun. And you want to know why? Betting the Winter Games on Fanduel just makes sense. It's Dick Toledo from Holberg's Morning sickness. And from game lines to medal counts to finding your angle on the events you care about, FanDuel gives you more ways to stay connected to the action. That's right, the winner games are on. And there's no better way to follow them than with a little wager on FanDuel. The winner games and FanDuel. Play your game 21 plus in President Arizona gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 533-42.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning cygnus and I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my [e-mail] youm've heard me mention Kevin Costner, Trey McBride, other countless celebrities and pro athletes and how they chose lifted trucks. But that doesn't mean it's only for actors and pro athlet. It's for all of you. Everybody who loves a cool adventure. So if you're a huge celebrity like me or just an average Joe who wants the best truck available, head on over to lifted trucks. They live up to being the number one custom truck dealer for over 30 years. 10,000 five star reviews can't be wrong. Liftedtrucks.com work hard, play hard, drive harder. Holmberg's morning sickness. But thanks for doing those for me. I really appreciate it. I'm glad I could pick up a couple of those four years later.

[Brady]

You gotta laugh and enjoy.

[John Holmberg]

I did it. I was discussing. Yeah, I didn't. I didn't get a laugh. I got a. Oh God. Poor Brady. Poor, poor.

[Brady]

Enjoyed the wildlife.

[John Holmberg]

No, I didn't. I thought it was boring. I thought all of it was boring.

[Brady]

Well, it's not for everyone.

[John Holmberg]

No, it isn't for. And that's my point. It's not for anyone.

[Brady]

It's not for you.

[John Holmberg]

It's not for anyone. It is not for most people. There's a reason why you have 205 views. It's not for most people. Probably 180 of them are. Brett, look at Brady's losing his mind. Should we take him to a doctor? I haven't seen those videos yet, but I'm glad that they're waiting for me at any given time. Yeah, they're ready. Well, we can go to. You're making my point for me. All people's videos of themselves doing stuff is boring unless something drastically crazy happens unexpectedly while you're doing. If you're taping an owl and walking through a park. I'm telling you right now, you're boring the world, period.

[Brady]

No way.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. And the people you're attracting to it with are boring. You've got a gaggle of people you wouldn't want to hang out with. What a video that was. Hey, Alice, come over here for a second. Is a man. Close to an hour. Oh, no. Alex gone. Anyway, my day's made. Nobody wants to see that. No one wants to see that. Thank you, Brad, for taking me to Flavortown for the second.

[Brett Vesely]

Here you go.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's got. Oh, here he is doing something else.

[Brady]

Wild America Easter. Goosling or goslings? Look at those totes adorbs. This is exciting. Riveting. Happy Easter, everybody.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody cut his head off. That's all I'm saying. Please, Come on. Just make him. Give him the views he needs. He tried to in the middle of that one.

[Brady]

That is, dude, perfect.

[John Holmberg]

While he was trying to tell us it's all in jest, tongue in cheek, in the middle of it, he said, it's not for everybody. A lot of people find him interesting. He still tried to backtrack and say no. Know, people love my videos. No one loves your video.

[Brady]

Oh, no. There are at least 99.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody loves those little hearts, right? That's because the retarded kids need a little pat on the head sometimes.

[Brady]

490.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, it's awful. Unless you die, let Gabby Petito be your guide. Her videos were horrible.

[Brett Vesely]

This is the content that gets you banned. You need to be careful with the explicit stuff, boss.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Some of the comments.

[Brady]

Love the comments.

[John Holmberg]

Comment. Yeah. Yep. Love the comment.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, this one. Suck it, John. This is a great video. Not everyone is addicted to porn like you are.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not. Yeah, but you know what I'm not doing. Yeah, exactly. You know what I'm not doing at dinner? Breaking out. Hey, this is what I just saw. Check out this little honey. She sure knows how to edge. You. Keep it to yourself. You keep your home videos and your stuff to yourself.

[Brady]

Usually it's like, wait until the boys see this one.

[John Holmberg]

No, keep it to yourself. Keep it to yourself. Any video with you. And not just you, Brady. Any video with you in it going, oh, here's me exploring. Unless you're finding a human head, because you just became part of the documentary. Yeah, it's awful.

[Brett Vesely]

This is why being visually impaired is good at times.

[John Holmberg]

Sean Rockefeller. I know who you are. So happy. If only you were deaf, too. Helen Keller had it. Me. Helen Keller's the only one that might enjoy Brady's video. Yeah, me too, Helen.

[Brady]

Boss, KUPD for these riveting videos.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Nathan Sutherland wouldn't even bang these videos. Then the other thing I can't get enough of, and I didn't follow this story here in the US of A. Right here in Arizona. In fact, a murder took place a while ago. I didn't know the details of this, but I'm gonna look into it. The. The. The court case was between Kimberly Lecount. She's being prosecuted. She could get the death penalty for masterminding this murder. And I'm like, ooh, murder story. Local like it. It's just she convinced her secret lover, which you always have to love that phrase, her secret lover, to kill her spouse. Which resulted in a triple shooting and a double murder not only of the spouse, but of his parents. I got it right. So the counts lover is someone named Kipling Harris. This is straight out of like 80s soap operas. I feel sorry for soap opera writers because you can't come up with this stuff. It's truth is fiction is reality. Now it says Kipling was already convicted of the murder, so he did it. But they're trying to figure out if she was the reason why she was married. This Lecount lady was married to someone named Alex Kuhn. And you're like, oh, okay, don't break. That's not the fun part. Oh, it's not? No. He had recently transitioned from a female named Alice. So Alex was a transitioned female from Alice to Alex married Kimberly Lecount. Kimberly Lecount was banging Kipling Harris. Kipling Harris kills Alex Kuhn. Stop it. The parents, Peggy and Bob Kuhn. God damn it. I didn't see this coming when I wanted to bring it up. This is a great story. And Peggy got killed too. Bob got hurt. So the medical examiner was on. On the thing yesterday saying, you know. Yeah, the autopsy came back. It says Mrs. Coons death was caused by multiple gunshot wounds. Things like, yeah, Alice Coon was shot in the head three times. Stop it. And look, they're trying to see if she can go to jail for her whole life for putting her secret lover up for killing her transvestite husband. And I'm like, how in the world has. Have we not wrapped our arms around this in the state of Arizona? How is this the first time I'm kind of hearing about this? Amazing. This is going to be a six parter on the ID network. There's no way. This isn't.

[Brett Vesely]

You need to break out the Madden chalkboard and follow that along because I'm just like, transvestite's doing this, right? What the.

[John Holmberg]

Back in the 80s when you rode for soap operas. It's like. No, Dorothy, it's the whole premise of Tootsie. Yeah, Tootsie was a. I'm a transvestite. It was just a man dressed as a woman who's married to a man. But this, this was a woman dressed as a man married to a woman who had a boyfriend named Kipling. And I mean Kipling and all the names are so.

[Brady]

It sounds like she was upset at him transitioning.

[John Holmberg]

No, I think she married him for transfer. It was. Alice went into Alex. It was a woman that became a man and she married the man. You're. You're just stuck on that because you don't like transition.

[Brady]

No, it sounded like. I mean, I couldn't figure out why it was.

[John Holmberg]

She had a secret lover. Her secret lover and her were gonna run off to the Bahamas or something. It's secret lover stuff. And they're like, the only thing holding us back is this husband of mine that used to be a woman. We gotta kill him. And so she starts plotting and gets her secret lever all fired up saying this poon that happens on the ID network, that's constant jail, jail time, phone calls are. Are always like, the secret lover traps the lady who talked him into it by talking dirty to him. And then she finally says, I'm so glad we did what we did and I'm gonna stick by you the whole time. And he's like, yeah, but, you know, if I. I shouldn't have done it. We could have. We could have done something different. But, you know, it is what it is. She goes, yes, but we had to. Who. We talked about this. And they always get them. They always get the lady who, who Frank, who got the secret lover to kill. They always get her to talk. But this is a great story and there's a transition in it somewhere from Alice to Alex. That doesn't make.

[Brady]

That's what I'm saying. It drove her to a secret lover.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you don't see, you keep doing that. You keep acting like the, like you can't get answers. Your answers are always kind of bigoted, religious based. Can't be a trend. You can't be. You can't be a. A man, a woman to a man and still have a relationship. You're saying, well, that drove her away, that, who knows, maybe she was into.

[Brady]

She go to another man.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but it doesn't mean she didn't like him. She just found someone else. It didn't have anything to do with transition. He's like, I transition. She married him. After he transitioned, she married. She was like, she was with him. She liked him as Alex. That wasn't a thing that drove her away. You got like that.

[Brady]

I thought all of a sudden she like, you know, was missing the D. No.

[John Holmberg]

You made that. No, he might have had a D. They might have plastered one on there. Might have unfolded one and grew one out. Might not have been a big one. It might have been one of those, you know, you know, steroid manufactured non hormone testosterone grow the. The bald man in the canoe. Ds, I've seen those China D, they call it China the wrestler, not the country. Although very similar so size. But yeah, no, she was. She was fine with that. Like, that was her husband. Mrs. Yeah, Mrs. Coon. That's right. Mrs. I'm going to go with Brett on this. Mrs. Coon married Alice. All right, who was Alex? She was fine with that. But then she found Kipling, and Kipling sounds like a guy who had some money. And then she had some magic for Kipling and she's like, I think I love Kipling more. But, you know, my husband Alex, formerly Alice, you know, I don't want to divorce him because I lose money, I lose a house. I just got to get rid of this guy. So she talked Kipling into it. He was the only thing standing in the way of their perfect love. Great. And it says, when you have this is a good thing. Says because of how fast it all happened. One thing's not certain in the attack, though, because of how fast it all happened, where the gunshot wounds were. The medical examiner said he's not sure of something. You can't determine the order of who shot who or when person got shot. And the guy said, why is that? He said, when you have injuries that are temporarily related, the injury patterns are going to be all bleeding. So I can't tell based off the injury who got shot first, second or third. So we don't know when Kipling started shooting, if it was like a rampage, if he waited for people. It was like, you know, was everybody in the room, same time? Was this plot, did they lure others in? Oh, it's pretty awesome. It's pretty great. So the Coons fell, man. Unbelievable. And Kipling's in jail.

[Brett Vesely]

Poor Mrs. Coon.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. And tomorrow she's gone.

[Brady]

Hopefully Netflix is already on it.

[John Holmberg]

They have to be. This is a three parter. If it's anything. I need to know about Alice turning into Alex. I need to know about the Coons. I need to know about Mrs. LeCount. And do each. Each one gets their own documentary and then bring them together and, you know, somebody who transitions has, like, loads of videotape of themselves before and after. In this day and age, the best thing that's ever happened for me with the Internet and all this TikTok and nonsense with people posting photos and videos is that future murder documentaries. You've done all the work for the documentarian. You've got so much footage of yourself.

[Brady]

Everything.

[John Holmberg]

It's. It makes the documentaries great. I always watch those things and wonder. I don't have any home videos of me that I've saved over the years. Maybe three. It seems like everybody who's been murdered has thousands of hours of themselves from age three and to even, like, from the 60s, there's, like constant videos of people on road trips and running around the house that. That applies. But, like, the murderers there, the dad's there, the kids, it's just constant. And now documentarian just goes, all right, let's see their social media. I can build a documentary without even starting a camera. A couple interviews, I'll be done with this thing in a heartbeat. I just need to edit their videos that they left laying all over the earth. It's great. So, you know, the Coons and. Stop it. And Lecount and Kipling all have, you know, tons of evidence of themselves that we can build stories off of. Made the Gabby Petito thing great. They were blogging. There's a ton of video them doing stuff that they can tie into a story, tons of it all the way up until the. Well, you get to know the days before the day of. You get to know the victims. You get to see them and hear them talking. Oh, the good part about the Gabby Petito one was in her diary. They used AI to read it as her. So they. They even said so they're like, look, we're gonna. We're gonna read the. The parts of the diary that are read are in Gabby's voice through to artificial intelligence stuff. So it was her reading what she had written, which was a little creepy. And I can't imagine the family was all too comfortable.

[Brett Vesely]

The funny thing is, with something like that, you're happy that they were bloggers and you got to see all this.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brett Vesely]

Stuff. So these crappy reenactments.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. But.

[Brett Vesely]

But if she wasn't dead and you see it on YouTube like, Ah, look at this jackass. Who cares about you and your van?

[John Holmberg]

It takes a kidnapping or a slob for me to be interested in your.

[Brady]

In your vlog and John said it yesterday. Don't even call it a van.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, no it's, yeah, it's a transit, it's a transit wagon. But yeah, that, I mean that's, I mean look at Instagram right now and think of all the things that chicks throw up there that would bore you to tears. Unless someone lobs their head off, off. Now all of a sudden these videos and these tick tock dances have some merit. I can build the story around that. But while your head's attached, you're good. Your vlogs and your videos and your, your opinions are stupid, terrible. But until, yeah, you want to get Internet famous, that's the only real way guaranteed. Get your head chopped and get your head chopped off.

[Brady]

Seven million views.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well you'll get a ton of you views and that's. I, I'm not saying it's the right way. I'm saying it's a guarantee that all your videos that you want people, you want all that attention. Sorry, the only person not going to see how much attention you're getting is you get your head lobbed off. I mean, had anyone heard of Nicole Brown Simpson before 1994?

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Now she's a household name. You get your head lobbed off, suddenly everybody's seeing your, your family photo op album pictures of you. They've seen old videos of you with, you know, around the house. Videotapes you at a birthday party when you were five. Things that would have bored people to tears when you were alive are now of the utmost importance. Like people are looking for clues that especially in the, like in the murder shows when the uncle like turns out he's been touching the kids and stuff and they have videos of them at birthday parties and there's the uncle in the back, like look at him lurking. You'd have never noticed it while the kids heads were still attached. But once a head falls off, you start, you start looking for clues and we're all disgusting that way. I don't all I have it like I have my phone is just packed full of videos. One of my dog's heads would have to get lobbed off to have a documentary and be interest because that's all I have.

[Brady]

They'd have that or the footage that they'd use or the Sonic spoof commercials.

[John Holmberg]

From years ago, I guess. Yeah, well, we're different. We're different because we're in media. Yeah, I'm talking about the like do you think that if you didn't have this job that any video you have ever done with Kirby at all is interesting to anyone in the world outside of your mother. It's out of control. Now. It's John Holberg here. Time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and doughs.com I got an email from someone who told me that he wants to sell his house because he has to move for work. Got a new job and it starts in February, so he needs to vacate quickly. And in this particular case, this guy can leave Arizona with cash from his home and be free and clear to start anew in his next location. That is peace of mind no matter what the situation. Doug makes selling your house so easy, it's hard to imagine going anywhere else and he backs it up with a $5,000 guarantee. Start the process at Doug Hopkins.com and grab that phone and sing.

[Dick Toledo]

Ever start a project and realize you don't have the right tools? Don't let that slow you down. Fisher Tools has everything you need from Milwaukee and Nikita to Dewalt and Bosch, plus safety gear and accessories to get the job done right. Stop by Fisher Tools and Tempe for big promotions on top brands and start that project with the right tools at the right price. Visit fishertools.com for details. Fisher Tools Yo. Your project deserves the best tools and so do you.

[John Holmberg]

Fishertools.com the best of the morning sickness is on the air. 98KUPD do any of you people do any actual work? The rest of Homburg's morning sickness. I did see this as well. And Brett, your lady works in a bar. Brady, you used to own that restaurant. I've worked in restaurants. Toledo's worked in restaurants. There's nothing worse in the restaurant business than a customer who is dissatisfied and seemingly for a stupid reason. You just have to eat that when they are. There's a story going around right now that a lady and she did this to herself and this is a great moment for anyone who's ever worked in the service industry where this lady got her comeuppance for what she thought was going to be a big viral social media support me moment. She posted her receipt at a restaurant where she left no tip, but then accidentally wrote down like the bill was 4221. And for some reason she wrote like 4223, took a picture and said I did this for everybody who feels disrespected.

[Brady]

By yeah, it looked like a 2 cent.

[John Holmberg]

It looked like a 2 cent tip, but it was actually a zero. But she did the mess. So she even worse, she left her 2 cents and on the receipt it says, but don't call my husband sweetheart. So evidently the waitress at one point said, here you go, sweetheart. And the lady is so insecure and crazy that she thought that this meant that there was. They're gonna have sex, they're gonna try and sleep with him. First off, let me tell you this. Whenever two people can eat dinner for $40.23, the waitress calls you sweetheart. That's just. Basically, that's what it is.

[Brett Vesely]

Raising canes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, right, exactly. Yeah. You're dine in at raising Cane's, somebody's gonna call you sweetheart. That's a group. That's the place where she walks around with a coffee mug or a big coffee pot all the time.

[Mark]

How you doing today, doll?

[John Holmberg]

What's up, sweet?

[Mark]

Sweetheart.

[Brady]

She's a good flow.

[John Holmberg]

She's flow. Yeah. You're at a place, you're spending 40 bucks for dinner for two people. Either there's a buy one, get one, or sweethearts on the table. That's happening, darlin. Sweetheart, Honey bun, Sugar. The flow is she's probably chewing gum and she's gonna call you something. Well, she goes. She tries to go up there and viral out this don't play with me. She wrote in the caption of her TikTok thing. Miserable 10.5 million people followed on there and almost all of them said, get therapy, lady. It's not that deep, sweetheart. Good. Yeah. So she got trashed for trying to blast somebody and not tip them. And it wasn't cause of the. The service and it wasn't because of the food. It was because she has a problem with her husband being called sweetheart. You know why? I'm guessing she wears sweatpants to dinner. She doesn't try anymore and she hates it with somebody good looking. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Somebody good looking just paid attention to her husband and she realized, I'm not trying anymore. So he can't be looking at that. That's tight little ass walking around here calling him sweetheart. She gets nothing. Also, husband didn't pay for dinner. That's a little bit tough too. She dropped her card, her tip, and signed it.

[Dick Toledo]

Why the hell are servers always held hostage by assholes like this woman?

[John Holmberg]

Well, the good news is this asshole tried to go viral with it and get support from the ladies who are just tired of these young, tight bodied women coming on to our men.

[Dick Toledo]

Don't ever vacation in the south, sweetheart, because you're called honey, sweetie, sweetheart, and my personal favorite, sugar all the time.

[John Holmberg]

Sugar's a big one.

[Mark]

Here you go, sugar.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks a lot. Oh, bless her heart.

[Mark]

She's sad because she's fat and ugly.

[John Holmberg]

Now. Pretty woman called her husband sweetheart.

[Brett Vesely]

No, she's never gonna eat a Texas Grill again.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly right.

[Brett Vesely]

I guarantee she's that size.

[John Holmberg]

She's. She's there. She's been in multiple locations where fire trucks have taken out other patriots.

[Mark]

This happening again. And there's a fire truck here and some EMTs taking out another customer.

[John Holmberg]

What in the world? This world coming to. It's where you eat, lady. I drive by that Texas grill quite often, and I'm telling you, the percentage of times I go by Texas Grill and there's an EMT or a fire truck in front of it are the exact same as Diana Taurasi. Shooting percentage last year, about 33% of the time I pass it. There's a truck there picking up one of the fat people and pulling them out. And I was nearly one of those.

[Brett Vesely]

People, insecure and crazy. So a normal woman, huh?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah, right? Well, exactly. But it's a woman who's spending 40 bucks, her life's not working out. She's buying 40 dinners for her husband. You know those sweatpants aren't Lululemon?

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[John Holmberg]

You know that she's probably wearing his shirt. She's got hair, but all over. It's not good.

[Dick Toledo]

The article posted another one from a different restaurant that says no tip because it was very rude to my wife and I if we wanted separate checks.

[John Holmberg]

Why, I see your. Your nose, sir. I assume you want to pay half. I look at your wife and I think, good God, he can't possibly be. You want separate checks, right? You're a decent looking man.

[Brady]

There's no way you married that. There's no way you guys are together.

[John Holmberg]

No way you're paying for her dinner. That's very rude, dude. Don't write notes on the receipt. Just put a zero and leave. Don't. Don't make your mark. And if you want to put it on the Internet later, you're gonna get. You're gonna get flambed. I love it. A lot of people have had to work in the service industry. And a zero tip happens to all of us at one point or another, and usually we deserve it. A zero tip usually was like, oh, boy, have I blown it here. And there's. I got stories. I have a. I have a few hundred zero tips under my belt sometimes. We actually had a contest where it's like, first one to get a zero tip gets the other guy's tips. But you can't be blatant. You can't cuss. There were rules, like you had to just give service, but you had to get them their food. And the kitchen had to be. But you had to do stuff that like maybe zeroed it out.

[Dick Toledo]

Multiple zero tips here. The champ for the week.

[John Holmberg]

Like saying something like, my God, that's a low cut shirt. Like one of those things. My personal. I have to keep my eyes up when I deliver your food. Things like that where you're a little bit offensive, but some people liked it and you had to run your risk. Yeah, I forget if it was my buddy. Hard times. I forget who I. Oh, it was a. I can't remember who had the bet with. He walked up to a table of old people and he said, I understand it's somebody's 100th birthday here. Sir, he was very old. What? Oh, it's your wife. What? And they were like. And he just hit him right over the head immediately. Now it's nobody's birthday. Oh, I was told it was somebody's 100th birthday. I thought it was you guys.

[Mark]

What?

[John Holmberg]

And I'm like, ah, he's gonna win today. I think they tipped him. I can't remember who that was. Eric. I don't remember who it was named Eric Christensen might have done it. We had some ballsy dudes over there, Rob. Either way, it was before the Internet. We couldn't get flamed up like that. So don't leave notes on receipts. And for God's sakes, if someone calls your husband sweetheart and it pisses you off, look in the mirror and realize why you're mad. It's you. Your ass is gross. Your hips are too big. That bubble that hangs over your pants is not from the babies you had 30 years ago.

[Brett Vesely]

You need to go to Yo's Fitness maybe.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Dick Toledo]

So what this bitch needs to do is only eat at restaurants that respond with my pleasure.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Brett Vesely]

You ain't getting anywhere for 40 bucks. That has my pleasure.

[Mark]

Let's see what she looks like after she has a couple of kids.

[John Holmberg]

You've got two grandkids like it. The weight is no longer the childbirth's fault. If it's a. If it's a go to for you to have as an excuse and it's been 25 years. You gotta drop can be argued. Jesus. Hilaria Baldwin is Alec Baldwin's wife. She's 40 something and she's got seven kids.

[Mark]

Well, if I had a million dollars and had to work out eight hours.

[John Holmberg]

A day, I don't think she's doing that. I'll give it to you that, you know, can change your body a couple years, you're like, jesus, it never really snapped back like I wanted. But when your kids are in their teens or twenties and you're still saying baby weight. No, no. Not a valid excuse anymore.

[Dick Toledo]

Typical toxic femininity.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. It'll come up soon that liberals are the blame on my email. But I guarantee if you took a Look at it, TLC would hire her for one of those 600 pound sisters shows.

[Mark]

I saw you looking at her bottom. I know what's going on around here.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna leave her no tip for being prettier than. It's out of control now. 98 K U PD it's John Holmerg here from the morning Sickness and it's time to talk about Doug Hawkins Hopkins of my home group and doughhockins.com let's talk about the people who make claims. For instance, a company out there saying they'll get you 100 of market value for your home. And a lot of times Mr. 100% getting that inspection and says, oh, 100 just dropped because you've got a few more problems. Don't play around with these people. Trust me when I say you can trust TV's Doug Hopkins. He won't play with the offer at all. If he does, he'll give you $5,000 guaranteed. You can start the process at Doug Hopkins.com or grab that phone and sing. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness for lifechangerloan.com I got a little note from Shane O', Grady, the head cheese over at Life Change Alone. He said, this week three wonderful listeners all made the move to Life Change Alone, and each of them will be paying off their homes in under four years. That's right. And that's normal, too. So many people try to refinance. Go to lifechangerloan.com and see if it's right for you. Maybe you like paying debt off for 30 years and spending $200,000 extra in interest. I don't. I know a better way. And it's not magic. It's just math. Lifechangerloan.com it's the last of Homburg's morning sickness. I'm 98 KUPD. It's time for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report and it's brought to you by our friends at all Pro Shade. If you want to get on over there and shade up a portion of your backyard, front yard, side yard, whatever. You got windows. You want to put blinds up, you want to put blockers out.

[Brady]

Out.

[John Holmberg]

You want to make them look good. And you've got sun just infiltrating a part of your house you don't want there anymore. Darn it all. Like Toledo's dad. Get rid of that sun and just get it done properly so it looks like it's supposed to be part of the house. It adds property value and makes everything better. The motorized shades that they put out there disappear in this windy weather like this, probably up to like 20, 25 miles an hour right now and suck itself back in so you don't have a big mess or something broken in your backyard yard. They are sensitive to the wind and to the weather, which is great. And when they want to make that back patio of yours a living space, darn it all, they're ready. They're ready for you. It's a beautiful thing. And like I said to you last week, the number one thing people look for when they're looking for a house now is outdoor living space in Phoenix. That is a huge selling point. Make it so you've got that and do it right. AllProchade.com that's where you go. Brady reporting.

[Brady]

Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world. World.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady]

Got a couple of basis fun facts. The band Train has more monthly listeners on Spotify than Led Zeppelin, the Eagles, Van halen, Tom Petty, YouTube, REM, Pearl Jam, and Elvis.

[John Holmberg]

Say that again.

[Brady]

Train has more monthly listeners.

[John Holmberg]

Train, yeah. Drops of Jupiter.

[Brady]

Yes. On Spotify than those bands that I just combined.

[John Holmberg]

Banned.

[Brady]

No. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

I was gonna say.

[Brady]

I thought you said each band individual.

[John Holmberg]

When you hit me with two, I'm like, oh, my God.

[Brady]

Well, I find it.

[John Holmberg]

I find it amazing. The drops of Jupiter Is that popular Anyway, Is there a girl song they have that I don't know about? What else does Train have?

[Brett Vesely]

That marry you song that gets played at every wedding.

[John Holmberg]

That's it. The one that no man listens to. It's the Taylor Swift of music. Yes, I see. Well, that makes sense now because desperate ringless.

[Brady]

Just pound Matt over and over.

[John Holmberg]

We'll just put it on a loop. That and that Bruno Mars marry me thing. What's the. Oh, do you have writing to those. Oh, Toledo's thing. You have it.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm riding the bus.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no, we had Bert brought up. Yeah. Rosie O' Donnell is a. Mentally, people are asking about Andy McDowell and yes, Brady did say Sam I am. That's Dr. Seuss. I am Sam, the movie. He was thinking he was hungry for ham, so he said the wrong thing.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm just gonna isolate him.

[John Holmberg]

He was thinking about green eggs and ham and it's breakfast. So he didn't think of Sean Penn.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh yeah. Hey, Soul sister.

[John Holmberg]

Drops of Juvenile Sister. Yeah, but still more than Pearl Jam. And who else has yet this? The Eagles, Van Halen. That's ridiculous. Then again, you think about it. Those are the. Nobody's Spotifying that. So like they're a little more like 25 year old girl 10 years ago when Spotify first got going.

[Brady]

That's true.

[John Holmberg]

So it makes sense that they would have that in the loop for 10 years. So it's been going for.

[Brett Vesely]

And here's that.

[John Holmberg]

This is a pretty good song.

[Brady]

How many.

[Dick Toledo]

How many damn song listens does that have? Are you on the Spotify or whatever?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Let's see here.

[John Holmberg]

This is the Marry Me song.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

This one's gotta be Forget the world now. And you play this at weddings that you dj?

[Brett Vesely]

Unfortunately, I try to talk him out.

[Brady]

So many tears.

[John Holmberg]

What do you try to talk him into?

[Brett Vesely]

Anything but this. This slash your wrist. Why would you want to marry anybody who wants to listen to this crap?

[John Holmberg]

Brett is also a marriage counselor. Absolutely. He'll DJ, coach and life coach you right through your first few days of nuptial bliss.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, here's the. Here's the train numbers on Spotify.

[John Holmberg]

It's ridiculous. Just from what Brady said. I'm blown away.

[Brett Vesely]

This one's got 290 million, 91 million.

[John Holmberg]

That one's got a billion list.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, Soul Sister. And Drops of Jupiter are over a billion.

[John Holmberg]

Is that 1.7 billion listens to. Hey, soul sister. Yeah. I don't understand this at all.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know. Drive by Matt's got 857 million traes.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I remember this. I know. On the other side of the street.

[Mark]

I knew.

[John Holmberg]

I remember.

[Brady]

This.

[John Holmberg]

Train is a lot better than I thought. No kidding. That's a bet I'd have lost. There used to be that old stat. Oh yeah, I remember. But I didn't think it was that big. The old one. That was like bands whose second albums. I forget what it was. They sold a. A bajillion copies in their first album and then their second one actually outsold it. There's only five. And one of them was Def Leppard. And it was always like the Eagles, you know, the ACDC had all this stuff that kind of had this sophomore album and their second Album just exploded on their. And yeah. And they had to hit like platinum stats. I forget what the stat was, but Def Leppard was in it. They didn't belong like they're good but it was like no way. Well, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Because that Def Leppard, the first albums that on through the night that had nothing and then high and dry was.

[John Holmberg]

After that just a massive. Yeah. Follow.

[Brady]

The season finale severances tonight. But if you could get a brain implant that made you forget your entire workday, would you do it? That was the question they asked.

[John Holmberg]

Probably not.

[Brady]

Two thousand Americans if that technology existed. And 10% of Americans said they probably.

[John Holmberg]

Would to try to do they're that miserable that day to day they want to forget their work.

[Brady]

Yeah. 4% said definitely.

[John Holmberg]

Huh. Oh well, you're on your way, Brady. You just forget it on it naturally. Just everybody ends up getting old enough to where you forget your workday no matter what. Yeah. As you get older, you just start forgetting your workday as you go. No chip needed, need any sort of surgery. Just don't pay attention. Just go through the motions and go home and go. I don't even know what happened today. That sucks though. Again, not having a job. Having a job you don't like has got to suck. It has to absolutely suck. It's about like a career.

[Brady]

Don't have an option.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Like you're kind of trapped in a job you don't want to be. That's got a stink. I can't imagine it. Luckily haven't had it but this company.

[Brady]

In China are the. They own over a thousand Chinese hot pot restaurants. It's Hadaleo is the name of the company and a couple of 17 year old teens posted a little video of them peeing in their hot pot at the restaurant.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Brady]

Well, the company didn't figure out until four days later after investigation where because there's a thousand locations.

[Dick Toledo]

Isn't the hot pot just your dish at the table or is it like a communal dish?

[Brady]

So it's basically this one's like you. They give you the equipment almost like the Korean barbecue where you make at the table. They give you a hot pot and you put your broth in it and everything.

[Brett Vesely]

So it's like the melting pot type thing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Okay.

[Brett Vesely]

All right.

[Brady]

So they finally, four days later they figured out the location where it happened and then they contacted people. They. They're estimating basically they took look in there. They did it in their own hot pot.

[John Holmberg]

That was one of the chefs.

[Brady]

No, the customer. The customers. Yeah. The boys were the customers.

[John Holmberg]

They knew someone peed in it. They didn't know where it was.

[Brady]

They knew the video was put up. Yeah. Because they didn't know the exact location where it happened.

[John Holmberg]

How do you get the video of something these guys.

[Brady]

Because it's almost like.

[John Holmberg]

So it's their Instagram page.

[Brady]

It's their Instagram.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

Got it. I thought this restaurant had video. Like we don't know.

[Brady]

And the good news is they were able to police track down down the two 17 year old boys that did it.

[John Holmberg]

Appeared in their own food.

[Brady]

Yeah, they. Well, they were peeing in the hot pot that they're making. Right.

[John Holmberg]

So who?

[Brett Vesely]

The guys that worked there were.

[Brady]

Well, the problem is they were saying you still got to wash the pots and stuff and they didn't. So people were a little disturbed. Like did they disinfect?

[John Holmberg]

They didn't wash them.

[Brady]

They did.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Brady]

But they're still giving. They figured 4,000 people went through the doors of that restaurant, but two guys.

[John Holmberg]

Pissed on their own food.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then it got washed.

[Brady]

Yeah. Well, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

This seems to be a non factor if it was.

[Brady]

They're thinking. They're saying they should have shut down.

[John Holmberg]

The restaurant because he's too peed in their food.

[Brady]

Yeah. But they did.

[Brett Vesely]

Pot was washed. It is what it is.

[Brady]

4, 000 customers got 10 times times the price of what they paid that night.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. If they had their receipt.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You're going to get a 10x on that. That's pretty good. Wow. I'd have pretended to eat Mongolian barbecue for. Was that probably 14. That's $140 I'd have gotten back.

[Dick Toledo]

The only thing I remember that is you teaching me how to cram food.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my God. You've never seen any Harry Potter. Harry Potter didn't Harry Potter's teachers.

[Dick Toledo]

No room for sauce.

[John Holmberg]

Weren't as wizardly as Brady was when you. It was the never ending. You got to go to Mongolian barbecue with him.

[Brett Vesely]

All right. Yeah, let's do it.

[John Holmberg]

Don't eat the food.

[Dick Toledo]

Even the cook picks it up and goes whoa.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. The guy was shocked. They give you a normal human bowl, right? Okay.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. And like a cereal bowl type thing.

[John Holmberg]

And Brady gets it and he's just laughing like he's like. He's like he's figured something. Crack the code. Watch this. And he just starts taking food and smashing it into the bottom of the bowl and making it like. Like paper thin. All of it. And then could you build it yourself and then you give it to a cook and he pours it out, magic sticks. And Brady gives his bowl to the cook and his hand drops like he handed him a bowling ball. The guy goes, wow. Turns it over.

[Brady]

Good bowl, bro.

[John Holmberg]

BR's like overflow. He was excited that his bowl is going to be like a cornucopia of Mongolian.

[Dick Toledo]

The guy had to clean off the whole platter.

[John Holmberg]

It was just for Brady.

[Brady]

Cooking platter. Good.

[John Holmberg]

Two pounds of whatever's in there at least. And it's like salad mixings. He had so much food in there. And I'm doing it too, like, oh, it must disappear on the grill or something. No, it grows. It got huge. He needed like a plate and a bowl and everybody there was impressed. And then I ate it and I'm like, what is this? Mongolian barbecue? Oh, God, this is horrible.

[Mark]

Yeah, but he got eight pounds of it, so.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he was just happy at volume. It could have been deep fried socks at that point. He just. He'd won something.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Have him take you to one of those. Nah, man. I got demons. Method is pure madness, John.

[Dick Toledo]

I, for one would pay. Can we force Brady to sign this contract and get Severance Brady? Because I would love to see severance Brady in action. We'd get awesome news every morning. Comb through the entire Internet instead of the top 10 fish sandwiches like last week.

[John Holmberg]

But he would do the fish sandwiches story like every day. He forgot he did it yesterday, so you'd hear that story a lot.

[Dick Toledo]

And keep in mind, AI Brady would be an amalgamation of all Brady's so it would be more fish sandwich news.

[John Holmberg]

We would want Brady to remember yesterday so he doesn't do that Texas story again tomorrow.

[Brady]

We have to recycle through the Groundhog Day.

[John Holmberg]

You did this one yesterday. No, I didn't. Come on, you're the one who said we get your brain replaced every day. Leave it to me. I know what you did.

[Brady]

Driver in Switzerland was fined nearly $110,000 for driving too close to the vehicle in front of them tailgating. The reason it works this way in Switzerland is your tickets when you're speeding or tailgating are based upon your income.

[John Holmberg]

Your income.

[Brady]

So this guy was making some dough. He's fighting the $110,000 ticket because. And the reason why they base it on your income, they want you to.

[John Holmberg]

Feel, well, a few years ago they had that rich guy that was speeding around all the time. He didn't care that the ticket was like 80 bucks.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So it didn't stop him. So they changed some stuff to say, well, if you make this much money, it's now a percentage of your income.

[Brady]

Well, the guy fought it in court. The ticket was upheld, but it was suspended. A suspended fine. Meaning he won't have to pay the fine, but he cannot commit any other offense for the next two years. This is beating or you know, that's.

[John Holmberg]

What insurance is supposed to be. Most of it.

[Brady]

But he spent 14,500 bucks fighting it in court.

[John Holmberg]

That sounds smart. It's better than 100 grand.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, no kidding.

[John Holmberg]

A speeding ticket should just be a speeding ticket. The whole thing is based off of what the city makes off of those things, not trying to destroy you. And that's what insurance is supposed to do. You get too many of those, they make it so it's too expensive to drive.

[Brady]

We got a 34 year old Florida man, Clearwater, Florida, named Aaron Jablowski. He was.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, would you blow me?

[John Holmberg]

No, sorry.

[Brady]

It's Jablonski. He placed a call. He's upset at the overTime. Sports Bar 2:30am because the karaoke machine wasn't working.

[John Holmberg]

They want to sing more train songs.

[Brady]

He stormed out. Actually, it was wanted to sing Linger, the Cranberries, Patty's Day, Close her down. Maybe.

[Mark]

Hear the words you say sometimes.

[Dick Toledo]

I mean, who talks like that?

[John Holmberg]

98 KUPD. It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about turfmonstersaz.com I have turf in my backyard and the only regret I've got is that I did not do this sooner. I have turned my backyard into a playground. I got a putting green, I got a pitching green, I got a sport court and I got loads of turf. I never have to worry about dying or looking bad or watering. You can do it too. If you can dream up a beautiful backyard, the gang over there at Turf Monsters can make it a reality. All you have to do is check them out. Turf Monsters AZ.com the Renaissance Festival is back. Weekends now through March 29th. Be ready to have a great time. Amazing adventure awaits the entire family. New shows, shop, jousting nights, non stop feasting. Leave your cares behind. Happiness reigns at the Renaissance Festival. It's fun and affordable. Visit now through March 29th. Discount tickets available at Bashers and Food City or online at arizona.renfestinfo.com Presented by Delta Airlines, Bashers, Food City, Pepsi, Budweiser and Guinness.

[Mark]

Huzzah.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness. You know what's fun to do without a gun? Change the word linger to ginger because it's just one letter difference.

[Mark]

Or dinger you have to let it dinger.

[John Holmberg]

It's just. It's for the Colorado Rocky fan and all.

[Mark]

You have to have to let it dinger.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, that's a concert I'd go to.

[John Holmberg]

I would too, if she started this thing.

[Mark]

We changed the words to all of our songs to celebrate the mascot of the Colorado Rockies.

[Brady]

He stormed out. And that's when another karaoke fan man tried to get him to cool down. Aaron was not in the mood. He pulled a gun out of his waistband. They pointed at the other man and shouted, I don't effing care. Someone called the cops. And when they showed up, Aaron still had the gun. Witnesses say they saw him waving it around. He fired off around.

[John Holmberg]

God damn it. I'm singing Linger whether they play it or not.

[Brett Vesely]

Play it.

[John Holmberg]

Give me the karaoke.

[Dick Toledo]

Mother didn't take a bullet.

[Brady]

No one. No one got hit.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta go home. I'm singing lingerie. No, you're not. Turn on the machine if I'm not. Fine. Forget it. Listen, I'm doing it. Let's go. Acapella.

[Mark]

If you could return.

[John Holmberg]

You guys.

[Mark]

Don't let it burn. Don't let it fade.

[John Holmberg]

All right, just let him finish.

[Brady]

He was arrested on two felonies. Aggravated assault, possession of a firearm, by a felon, rap shooting. He also got a dui.

[John Holmberg]

Disorderly conducting linger at all in the car on the drive to the maybe.

[Dick Toledo]

Man, he missed jail a lot.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, the cops were like, oh, Christ.

[John Holmberg]

Just drop him off. Just, you know, let him go. How long's the ride to the police station, Mother? There's about eight minutes. Perfect. That's two lingers. We're doing it. Stop singing Linger. Hey, Siri, don't do that. My phone's gonna get cranberries.

[Dick Toledo]

I found info on the Borg. It's called Blackout Rage Gallon. Yeah, it holds 700 like you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. Don't acknowledge like.

[Mark]

Oh, yeah, that makes tons of sense to a guy like me.

[John Holmberg]

You acknowledge that like it was yours.

[Brady]

That's what I said though.

[John Holmberg]

No. God. You know what? Screw you guys. Entirety, idiot. The man at 2:30 in the morning should be allowed to sing a cranberry song anytime you want. Mother, I spent a lot of money in here. Sharp. And listen, I'm gonna hit the high notes. I'm doing it too. It's a long intro. I forgot how long the intro. Maybe you guys are right. Yeah. Damn. There we go. Hit it, Dolores. It's a beautiful song. I'm gonna dedicate it to my beautiful wife who I haven't talked to in three years, but she'll be back with my kids. All right, Please step off the stage. No goddamn way.

[Mark]

If you. If you could return. Don't let it burn Put your gun.

[John Holmberg]

Down don't let it fade I'll kill you, mother. By the way, when you look like me and you go to a karaoke bar and you do that, it stops the route.

[Brady]

Wait a minute. You've done.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I love those types of carry because people see it. And you'll hear the audible groan at the grapevine. And we got John coming up here. And then on the screen it says Cranberries Linger or Alanis Morissette. One of her slow songs like thank you. And I always. I always grab things. Hey, folks, thanks. I hope you're having a great night tonight. Everybody's having a good time. That big bald cancer guy is gay gender fluid. Oh my God.

[Brett Vesely]

You guys can do that. At night of singing dead, we did.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah, we talked about that.

[Brady]

He's dead.

[John Holmberg]

I think we did Linger. Well, we did the. The rock version. That was the year that my in ear blew up and my ear started bleeding. It was the worst start to a show ever. Oh, so that was so painful. I had to get to through Alice in Chains and Linger and Linkin park with my ear bleeding. I thought I blew up my eardrum. It was bleeding internally. I could taste it.

[Brett Vesely]

Did it just linger in there?

[John Holmberg]

It had to. I had to let it. This is a mandatory thing. That girl that started singing lines to us last night should have done this for. But you. Your voice smells like farts.

[Mark]

Your voice just smells like farts. My husband Scott has a problem. He says it's medical. His ass lets out. All of the gas comes right out his ass.

[John Holmberg]

It's a good song. You can't help it. Once it's in your head, you'll sing zombies better.

[Brady]

But got another dude of Florida, maybe Daniel Morello. He was arrested for battery after an argument with a woman. It turned violent. He punched a 24 year old woman in the head.

[John Holmberg]

Can't do that.

[Brady]

They were traveling together, but their car broke down. They ran out of money.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, take that, Gabby.

[Brady]

So they've been living in the vehicle and things got tense.

[John Holmberg]

Inevitable someone's gonna kill someone if you're in a car with them too long.

[Brady]

Daniel claims that he'd been dating her for a few months, but the woman denied the intimate relationship.

[John Holmberg]

You punched her in the head? She might not remember.

[Brady]

He got arrested. He was wearing a shirt that says I never argue.

[John Holmberg]

I love him we'd play what colors. This is so white. It's ridiculous, okay? Really?

[Brady]

Daniel Murillo?

[John Holmberg]

Get out of here. He's black. I never would have guessed it. This is a white crime.

[Brett Vesely]

He was adopted.

[John Holmberg]

He was raised by whites. There's no question. Otherwise, he'd have just left. If he just said the guy just pulled over and got out and he never was seen from again. I'm like, well, that's a black guy. But he punched her in the head and then tried to stick around. That's a white guy. I am wrong about Daniel Morell, man. You know what? We're a melting pot. Anything's possible. But, yeah, you can't just watch the Gabby Petito documentary and tell me that. If you said, hey, you know, it'd be a great idea, us tooling around the country in a car for weeks on end, never living anywhere. Someone's gonna die. You can't do it. You might start off in love. I give you Till Utah from Florida. And that's exactly how long they lasted before you start wanting to strangle each other.

[Brett Vesely]

Utah, That's a long way.

[John Holmberg]

Look, you can do it.

[Brett Vesely]

It's a long way.

[John Holmberg]

You could. The first two weeks are fun. It's all like, oh, my God, we do kind of stink. You take a bath in a stream and it's cute the first time. Next thing you know, everybody smells like hot flaming corn. Nuts. There's farting going on in the car. It's dirty. Now it's no more fun. You're in Utah. You're looking at each other like one more diner with her. And I'm finishing this.

[Brady]

This is spectacular news. Sargento just released a new type of American. American cheese that is actually. It qualifies as cheese.

[Dick Toledo]

Wait a minute. American cheese doesn't qualify as.

[Mark]

Shut up, Toledo. Let the man talk.

[John Holmberg]

This is important.

[Mark]

For years. It is important. Now you shut your mouth. Shut your gob. They've cracked the code on how to make fake cheese. Real cheese.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Mark]

God damn it. It's genius. I love Elon Musk.

[Brady]

It's natural American cheese. It only has five ingredients. Meanwhile, the other types. Types have nine or more.

[Mark]

What other types? The real cheese.

[Brady]

They say the process is similar to making Colby Jack. The ingredients are milk, cheese culture, salt, and.

[John Holmberg]

Don't give us a recipe. It's just cheese. It's fake cheese that tastes real, and they're now saying might be real.

[Brady]

You're surprised they're on the shelves right now. I already got a pack.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't understand this Mr. Sargento probably called him and sent him one.

[John Holmberg]

Why in the world world do you need artificial cheese to replace your cheese?

[Brett Vesely]

Hold on.

[John Holmberg]

Shut up. Artificial cheese to replace your real cheese? Let him answer this and then we'll get to you.

[Brady]

Okay, so when you're making a grilled cheese or whatever, you usually use like an American cheese or. But because it's not real cheese, I never would get it. I usually do cheddar or whatever.

[John Holmberg]

Now use cheese.

[Brady]

The other day I saw it on the shelf. Real American cheese. That was what you meant.

[Dick Toledo]

Wait a minute.

[Brett Vesely]

You're pre.

[Dick Toledo]

Buying things for your stories.

[Brady]

No, I didn't. I didn't realize that you just rolled out. I had to wait.

[John Holmberg]

That's why it's. His story is because in his phone he looked.

[Mark]

Is this a scam? If I reach for this, it'll be a trap.

[John Holmberg]

He thought his hand would chop off like he's a rat.

[Mark]

I reach for this cheese that's luring me in.

[John Holmberg]

And then it became worse. But I'm still struggling with. It's just for melting a cheese cheese.

[Brady]

Slice some people like.

[Brett Vesely]

Sounds like Velveeta.

[Brady]

Velveeta. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Then why not use Velveeta?

[Brady]

Why not get an all natural American cheese that's really.

[John Holmberg]

You care about what's natural cheese food. I watch you eat orange.

[Brady]

I like Velveeta.

[John Holmberg]

Don't get me wrong. Yeah, you, you eat. We know that.

[Brett Vesely]

We were not questioning that at all.

[John Holmberg]

I've never once looked at you with a handful of Cheeto dust going. It's all natural, like Wendy, you care.

[Brady]

I wanted to try it, see if it was different.

[John Holmberg]

Well, sure, trying it's one thing, but the like trying to sell me that. It's like this is finally what we've been waiting for. Velveeta's been getting it done.

[Brady]

Might have been exaggerating a little bit. You know what we waited for?

[John Holmberg]

Little Christ. So the cheese. I don't know this. I'm asking you the expert. Bitter. The cheese that I would buy doesn't melt. Right. As a grilled cheese.

[Brady]

It melts different, differently.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but it's still a good grilled cheese in the end, I think.

[Brady]

Well, because I think, you know, like if you're using a Colby or a cheddar sometimes and people might like that when you bite the grilled cheese and then it strings out a long time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

American won't do that.

[Dick Toledo]

They like playing with. Oh, American doesn't string.

[Brady]

Nope.

[Mark]

It all goes in your mouth at the same time. You don't go messing around like it's a piece of chewed gum. Freddy's right. When you want to bite, you want to bite. God damn it. You don't want to fight. Not raw.

[Dick Toledo]

My question.

[Brady]

Thank you, Ralph.

[Mark]

Nothing worse than watching your mouth out and have that delicious angelic ambrosia in your mouth. And then you pull the sandwich away and realize that half of it's about to fall on the floor.

[Brady]

Oh, so it's about waste?

[Mark]

No, it's about floor food. I'm not eating that. We talked about that yesterday. It goes in your mouth, gets in your belly. That's where it belongs. It doesn't belong hanging out in the air, getting cold. It's not Jacob's ladder, for Christ's sake. I want it in my mouth. I don't need some show.

[Dick Toledo]

My question was Sargento. Aren't you offended? As an Italian making real American cheese?

[John Holmberg]

No. I don't even know what that is.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I don't either.

[Brady]

They're out of Wisconsin.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, so they're not Italian.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Dick Toledo]

All right.

[Mark]

Tell them about the factory tour, Brady.

[Brady]

It's amazing.

[Mark]

They had to kick us out.

[John Holmberg]

Out.

[Mark]

We were like those Palestinian protesters. After a while, they just like, close it down. They're making us scared.

[Brady]

I got a couple of radio videos.

[Mark]

No more cheese stores. You all done?

[Brady]

That's it.

[Mark]

All right, see you later.

[Brady]

Sure. Thanks.

[John Holmberg]

Rally Stretch.

[Dick Toledo]

I got to get the system back up.

[John Holmberg]

Stretch like that cheese pretty.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, let's talk about that.

[Brady]

It's first.

[John Holmberg]

I just love that there's a finally, like an exhale from fat world. Oh, finally. No more of those awkward, strange, inconvenient grilled cheese sandwiches I've been struggling with my whole life.

[Dick Toledo]

Forty years ago, when I made first.

[John Holmberg]

Grilled cheese, I think that's one of the first things they teach kids to make. Cuz they don't screw up now. Oh, here you go, you rotund little hog.

[Brady]

Stepped up the game.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, is it too excited? You got question A. Call me up there.

[Mark]

Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

And you saw it in the store. And what's the cell on the package say? Hey, Brady.

[Dick Toledo]

Little neon sign.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, Brady, look says, hey, boss. Yeah, you're going to want this, chief. Going back to that cross country thing, I got to thinking while Brady was making no sense over there with that story. Remember when they'd cross the nation in those Conestoga wagons? And then the stories are always like, the women and children didn't make it. You know why they were getting killed? You were in wagons. So back then they Were a little more tolerant of time spent together. So you could make it from Oklahoma. You get to Nevada, you're not getting all the way to the gold rush with the family, the wives, everybody. Oh, they got sick or. I think they paid a lot of Indians to kill the family.

[Brady]

And then watch that 1883, the Tyler Sheridan.

[John Holmberg]

The dudes get through. You know what else. The other thing.

[Brady]

Oh, you know, it was Grift City.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody was killing the women and children and the. And also, the thing was, like, the men would go ahead. I think that's. That's. We've.

[Brady]

They would. They would hire people.

[John Holmberg]

Look, we've romanticized something here. These guys would get up to, like, oh, there's a mountain range, huh? Women and children. You stay here. We'll be right back. And then they'd leave, and they're. Well, they're gonna think we're dead. Dad, we're just gonna go to California without him. I can't take it anymore. And then they just leave them to fend for themselves.

[Dick Toledo]

Watch that American primeval.

[John Holmberg]

And then they come. Exactly what you're talking about. Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They just leave the ladies behind all the time. You've got this, right.

[Dick Toledo]

Come back and they're slaughtered.

[John Holmberg]

And the weakest man that they're tired of, like, this guy won't shut up. And the two dudes go. We'll go to California together. And then maybe on their way back.

[Brady]

Like, 14 guides will say, 100 bucks a wagon. I'll get you across.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And, like, by the way, we'll be here. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Then they'd kill all the ladies because it was. Don't think it wasn't the guy driving the wagon. Like, I paid these guys to help us out. Everyone should be comfortable. And then he'd give them that okay sign. I bet you that's where the okay sign came from. You got it, boy. Yep. We'll kill everybody here. No way. That. It was all disease, famine, and Indians that were killing all those ladies as they tried to, you know, Manifest destiny. Lewis and Clark did it. They were picking up broads on the way, knocking down mailboxes.

[Brady]

They lost a few.

[John Holmberg]

Lewis and Clark lost guides. Two of them were gonna be just fine. A couple ladies died. It had some prostitutes somewhere in, I don't know, the Dakotas. I don't know where they were.

[Dick Toledo]

And they had an inn with Sagajawea. She was leading the way.

[John Holmberg]

And they were banging the lights on. That whole. We romanticized that whole trip west. Oh, just like, some guy pointing and everybody following in their dresses. Nope. They were sick of the women by Oklahoma.

[Brady]

The women were sick of historical story.

[Dick Toledo]

Can have Chris Farley in the movie.

[John Holmberg]

Wagons east is not that was John Candy, wasn't it? No.

[Dick Toledo]

Chris Farley and Wagons Ho.

[John Holmberg]

I remember Wagons east was Chris was a John Candy. And oh, they did the other one.

[Dick Toledo]

Charlie did one I don't know and.

[John Holmberg]

That was one where he died during that pretty close because John Candy died during Wagons East. Either way, everybody wanted to kill each other. It's the same in cars. We just. It's actually they were a lot more tolerant back then and luckily they had savage Indians along the way they could rely on to kill the family so they didn't get blamed for murder. It's out of control now. 98 can't you PD February in Arizona.

[Larry McFeely]

Is just about perfect. It's Larry Mcfailey and the weather's great. The roads are calling, and now is the time to find your next Toyota. If you're looking for something tough, then check out the Toyota Tacoma and Tundra. They're built to handle the desert trails, weekend projects, and everything in between. Between need something smooth, efficient and easy to love. The Camry and Corolla deliver comfort, reliability and great fuel efficiency for your daily drive. No matter your lifestyle, there's a Toyota that fits you. Visit your Valley Toyota dealers or valleytoyotadeealers.com Toyota let's go places.

[John Holmberg]

This is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. I made a lot of poor decisions in my past that had lifelong consequences. After I was released from prison for the last time in 2014, I discovered the process to have my convictions dismissed and all of my rights restored, including my Second Amendment rights. Since achieving this for myself in 2018, our attorney has assisted over 3,000 others in doing the same. If you are still living under the consequences of past mistakes and would like to restore your rights as I have, visit restoremycivilrights.com and book a free consultation today. The rest of homework's morning sickness. This is the Big Red Radio. I got a problem Bruin. I got to talk about this. I feel a little minority report about it. So I had lunch with my uncle yesterday and drunkle Dennis, I call him, because Dennis and I used to get drunk. He's the youngest of my mom's side and so Dennis and I are only like 10 years apart like he was. My mom was like 13 when he was born and then so she had me when she was 22. So Dennis and I aren't that far apart. So we he'd come out here When I turned 21, Dennis was 30 and I was the most fun person he knew here because he didn't know anybody. So we got. We drank a lot and Dennis was. He's a blast. So Dennis has run into recently had some medical issues and you know, few like, you know, same thing as you. He went into just basic thing and got a couple of unfavorable ultrasounds where there's some bumps and found a little tumor. Turned out to be one of the bad boys. They went to remove it and another doctor came in, said we got a few of them spots. So he's going through a lot, he's doing well, he's healthy. So he's staying at my sister's coven, ah, house. And so I warned him. I said, look, she's not a doctor and she killed my Uncle Bob. Nobody talks about that in the family. My sister's also a murderer, second degree. I'm not gonna go crazy like she planned it, but it was, it was a murder. Involuntary manslaughter. Call it at the best. If I were on the jury, involuntary manslaughter.

[Brett Vesely]

She's.

[John Holmberg]

She's going in and just to recap my. And. And DVT is the like Victor Wembanyama is the center for the Spurs. 7ft 7 inch, gigantic Superman, averaging 24 points, 11 boards a game. He's a second year. He's not even figured out the game yet. He's already starting to dominate. Found a. A blood clot. Blood clot in his shoulder. And it's dvt. It is a very ser. And everybody out there, that's a serious one. You don't have to get your AIM exam. You know, if your legs hurt, you sit down a lot and you've got a little weight problem or you're super tall, you're susceptible to deep vein thrombosis. So my uncle was complaining on Christmas years ago, my Uncle Bob, that his thighs hurt. And my sister thinks she's a doctor, but she's not. She's just read a couple books about Chinese guys. That's true. And occasionally she has a pot that she rings the outside of and then hangs some chicken. Cheap silk she bought at Marshalls with Chinese writing that probably says Coca Cola, but she says it says health masters, tumeric something. I don't know.

[Brady]

And the hone. The healing tones is that I don't.

[John Holmberg]

Know what the hell she's doing. It's all crazy witchcraft, non fortune cookie stuff. So Uncle Bob tells me his legs hurt. And I Had just seen a special at the time about an NBC News reporter that was sitting in helicopters all day, eight, nine hours at a time, and. And his legs started to ache and is talking to his wife. And he said, my legs hurt so bad. It's just all this. All this. I'm just. I'm not in great shape, and I'm not in bad shape, but my legs are. I'm sitting down in these really uncomfortable, weird situations that I just don't feel. His DVT breaks. Clots break. You drown in your own blood. So my Uncle Bob's complaining about that. I tell him, like, I just saw a special about that. You sit down all day at work and you just get up. Like, be careful. But like, you got to go get that checked and then start moving around, get your blood flow going. I'm not a doctor. I'm not telling you what to do, but I just to want watch the special. Go ask about dvt. It's evidently not a lot of men don't know about this, and it's. It's big time in men. So then my fake. My fake not Chinese Eastern medicine sister says, I can fix that. I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. She went to, like, Wind Chime University for five months. She's not a doctor. She's a massage therapist. That's. Let's not go crazy. And then she. Her intuition that she knows. So she rubs Bob's calves, which is the worst thing you can do to, you know, blood clots. This isn't Thanksgiving. I believe it was December 7th. Bob blew up. He died. She loosened up those clocks and killed him. Like, he wasn't. Didn't have a chance to go there. This was one of those late Thanksgivings. It was like the 29th. A week later, I get a call, says Uncle Bob died. Well, you killed him because she called like, I did not. I told you not to rub his clocks. So here's my uncle Dennis. Dennis who's in town. Now, keep in mind, also, my sister's husband has shrunk like 7 inches since they've known each other. That's the truth. I don't know what she's doing, but she's shrinking. I don't know what kind of witchcraft is going on over there.

[Brett Vesely]

Better watch what you're saying about her. She may.

[John Holmberg]

That's why I don't go over there. That's why we don't. I'm not hanging around over there. So she gets out this Chinese light, and she tried this on me. Years ago with my back. And the doctor that did my back surgery so said, have you been heating this? I'm like, yeah, there's this Chinese healing light. He goes, oh, Jesus Christ. He goes, this is. You need surgery right now. There's no turning this around. Like, why? And he goes, well, that light swelled up your discs in your back, and they're not like, you know, muscle. They swell and they don't retreat.

[Brett Vesely]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

It's a gelatin kind of thing that's in there. The heat's the. And he said, who did this? And I said, well, she put me in touch with this chiropractor who told me to buy this Chinese light, a healing light, and I'm looking for anything. And he goes, that's the worst thing you could have done is put heat on this. I'm like, oh, okay. Told her that. She goes, you doctor's crazy. I'm like, what am I doing? I'm listening to Wind Chime University's number 10 graduate, and the doctor who's the number one doctor for the military, for backs, is telling me that it's. I'm listening to this guy. So evidently, my uncle, who's got some cancer, she's throwing that Chinese light on him. And I warned him yesterday. I'm like, she's killed uncles before, and she's gonna kill again. So I don't know if I should call the police or if I have to wait for my witchcraft sister to kill another uncle. And this one I think the world of. I can't imagine this being. It can't happen. And he's just laughing.

[Brady]

I have to film it.

[John Holmberg]

Uncle Dennis, he'll let him make his Instagram better. Uncle Dennis is laughing. I'm like, I'm not kidding, man. This is. Stop listening to her. Take it with a grain of salt, but don't get under any Chinese lights. You know what else is a Chinese light? Everything they sell at TJ Maxx. If it's got a light bulb in it, it says made in China. It's the same exact thing. Chinese healing lights. If Chinese healing lights work, why is there cancer in China?

[Brady]

Why put that light on there and then top it off with some lead paint, Right?

[John Holmberg]

Why don't you just drink the lead paint and then read the Coca Cola Chinese thing? So I got. I was worried about him. He's leaving town, and I got to get to him before he goes. I gotta say, I gotta hug him. Go by. Because he's allowing this witch doctor over there, Dr. Holmberg over there. No, no, no, no doctor. There's a shaman of some sort or, like, you know, when you go to, like, the tribe says, he's our medicine man. There's, like, no training. You can't go to a trade school and come out with, you know, read a couple books a Chinese man wrote. I'm worried about my uncle. She's over there just pouring two Marriage. Oh, and then here's a crime. Evidently, they bought a pizza because he was starving. He got a pizza, and they didn't eat the whole pizza. They put the box in the fridge, and my sister threw it away. It's filled with pesticides and things we don't need, and it's going to contaminate my refrigerator. He's like, I wanted to kill her. I'm like, you know what? It wouldn't have been a bad idea, because it's either her or you. You got to get on this. So Uncle Dennis, when I was a kid, was known as Den. Den. Now Drunkle Dennis.

[Brady]

So there's Roundup and pizza. I didn't know that.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? We're fine. You're gonna make it. Let Brady be your guide. He's never once sat under a cheap hot lamp. It's the same thing you make Chicken Stance on at Rawhide, only it's turned over and it's on top. It's a heat lamp. Yeah, you can keep your fries or chicken fingers warm under this Chinese heat lamp. I think that's what it was for. And then lunatics who went to three months of massage school started to believe that they are touched by some Chinese God and that these lamps suddenly have healing powers. They're not red light. They're not, like, scientifically proven to have some beneficial. It's just a lamp with coils in it that gets so ungodly hot. And I said, your tumors are gonna swell up and then start growing. I love you, Dennis. I don't need your tumors to grow. Because Chinese land lamps use it to.

[Brady]

Heat your patio in the winter.

[Mark]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

That is exactly what it is. If it's on, it's like a big Pixar.

[Brady]

I forget what they call it. Not the radiant heat.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know, but they're great. It's a. This thing isn't. This is not the one that, like, is safe. It's. It's like.

[Brady]

No, it's concentrated. Right.

[John Holmberg]

It's coils. Yeah, it's the Pixar lamp with fire in it. And then she's bitten that. Her and this idiot that tried to kill Me once with that dumb lamp, and he was jumping on my back. You need to crack it. And he's jumping on my back. This is what they do in Asia. And I'm like, you're 300 pounds. There's no such guy in Asia like you. But there I was, trying to get answers, and she tried to kill me, too. But I escaped. I escaped my captor and my poor uncle's over there under some heat lamp that raising canes wouldn't use because it would burn the chicken. And I'm worried about him. I'm thinking maybe we should get a wellness check over at that house.

[Brett Vesely]

Should send Ben over there.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? You know what, Detective Ben? I need you to roll over real quick and just knock on the door. Yeah, I'm getting some complaints about the heat in this house, and people can smell some tumors cooking. Oh, I'm so worried about him. You know, he's laughing. He's like, ah, it's harmless. I'm like, I don't know. I wouldn't go messing around with these. These home remedies from that lunatic. And that's. Every family's got a nut bag. Every family's got somebody who's, you know, thinks that they know about Eastern medicine. Every family's got someone who's been to Europe once and then starts saying things like, they're European. Why can't we just be happy to be American and have Western medicine and, like, load ourselves full of pills and stuff? It's worked for a while. I mean, cancer, you can try whatever you want, but he's not terminal. It's not like. Just like, he's okay. The medicine's working. I just can't imagine his heat lamps are any good. So if you meet her, she says, I've got this fire lamp, that it's gonna kill you. She's trying to kill people, and she's shrinking a man. I'm watching a man shrink. I've never. Have you seen John for a while? Her husband?

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

He's six inches shorter than us.

[Brady]

Is that right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because the health house that they live in, he got real sick for a while, and then whatever he had.

[Brady]

You see him from a distance or.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. I stood right next to him, and I was looking down. I'm like, he used to be the same size. She shrunk him. He got sick living with her, and he shrunk. Now, if I was him, I'd try to disappear, too, any way possible. So maybe he's just trying to.

[Brady]

She just. Maybe Removed his spine.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, some of it is gone for sure. Yeah. I don't know why. I think his spine just fell out. He's trying to kill him. If you've got a crazy family member, by all means start calling them crazy. It's too important. You could lose an uncle. I've lost. I've lost one and maybe two.

[Brett Vesely]

She kills again.

[John Holmberg]

She kills uncles. She's an Uncle Killer. She is an uncle sad, but that's what I live with every day. And Dennis was like, please don't. Don't tell anybody about this. And I'm like, she's trying to kill you. I want it out there now. Now. This makes the documentary better. When that.

[Brady]

It's out there. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

When the Uncle Killer strikes again and the doctors are like, who cooked your. Who cooked your cancer? So to a crisp. It's like the way a woman eats a steak. It's. It's blackened like a hockey puck.

[Mark]

He was sitting under a Chinese healing lamp.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Christ, it's the Uncle Killer.

[Brett Vesely]

Does she have an Instagram page? I don't think it'll get that much better.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, you should tell my uncle to start an Instagram page because all the videos will be good. But this, this little segment here will be in the documentary thing when Keith Morrison says, but one person knew what was going on at the Uncle Killer's house. And he wasn't holding back at all, was he?

[Brady]

When he died, he was 3 foot 6 inches.

[John Holmberg]

He knew his uncle was being shrunk by the Chinese lamps, just like her husband. And yet nobody said a thing. They all thought it was adorable. Except one man. He tried to put a stop to it. Or did he? I just tell people, you're an adult, you do what you want. But she's killed uncles before. She's not above doing it. If I was an uncle and I was in that house, I certainly wouldn't be sticking around. It's where uncles go to die. I love you, Uncle Dennis, but gotta get you out of there. I know you're listening. For God's sakes, run to the light. But not the hot one. It's out of control. Now.

[Larry McFeely]

Everybody loves the Toyota Tacoma. This is Larry McFeely. And even our very own Tripp Reeb just picked up a new Toyota Tacoma for his towing needs. Of course, he loves the fact that it provides a over 450 foot pounds of torque, but you should have heard him raving about the giant 14 inch touchscreen and his favorite, the removable JBL. Bluetooth speaker you can pull right off of the dash to blast the 98k upd app. He's a Tacoma lover now, but how could he not be? It's time for you to take a look at the new Toyota Tacoma. Visit your Valley Toyota dealers or valleytoyotadealers.com Toyota let's go places.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, it's John and Brett from the morning sickness. And the nightmare of the holidays are behind us and now it's time to treat yourself. The perfect time to fresh start everything with a new system. Quality car stereo. Upgrade your ride with better sound, smarter tec and service you can trust, whether.

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

Of H's morning sickness. In other news, this headline right here. I think this needs to be put to a vote. Connecticut Cannibal released quote it's comforting that he's no longer a threat. How'd you like to be that guy's neighbor? Hi, who are you? Oh, my name is Tyree Smith. Like, oh, hi Tyree, how are you? You just moving into town? Yeah, I just got out. Oh, got out? What do you mean oh? I was in jail for a while. I cannibal some people and now I'm better. There's a. The lawyer says he's actually comforted with a bunch of psychiatric experts in Connecticut's psychiatric security review board unanimously agreed that Tyree is no longer a threat until he is. Was he a threat before the cannibalism? Did we know about it or did he just snap? He was found not guilty by reason of insanity in 20002012 in order to spend 60 years at the psychiatric hospital. Because in 2012 they're like, Ain't no fixing this guy for 60 years. He's nuts. He ate a guy. He will be. And they said the boards review they'll be released from the high security forensic hospital, housed full time at a community facility as conditional release. Now this is a dude who peeled the eyes out of another person, started to eat them and then started to just chow down on a guy. Tyrese Smith's story is not like, oops, I accidentally ate some person. He did it on purpose. And, and then they just decided to say, you know, 12, 13 years later.

[Brady]

He'S not gonna eat.

[John Holmberg]

He's not gonna eat anybody. Again. However, using logic against them, which I tend to do, if a mountain lion bites a kid, we have to kill it because it has a taste for human.

[Brady]

Fly.

[John Holmberg]

Right?

[Brady]

Yeah, true with a lot of him.

[John Holmberg]

Every animal that's in the woods where we wander into their area and they defend their home, we put them down because, well, they just. Humans just taste so damn good. Now he's got a taste for it, he's going to do it again. So wouldn't that hold true to a cannibal? Once you get a taste of us, you'd think. You'd think that that's pretty much the end of it. And I don't know that him being out of, you know, like psychiatrists all day can say, yeah, sure, but wouldn't you rather like. My dog Yeardley is probably not gonna bite, but she's had triggers in the past where she'll. She seems like she might bite. She doesn't like men. She was abused by men as a puppy. Had her leg torn off by a guy. And so she gets sketchy around guys. So I muzzle her. She's probably better. And you could probably say that she wouldn't do it. I mean, psychiatrically I can evaluate her because I see her every day and say, this dog's not gonna bite anybody. Again, she's been rehabilitated. But just in case she does get a hankering for a Mexican calf, I'm gonna muzzle that. And that's the smart thing to do. Same thing for anybody who eats another person. Yeah, yeah, you ate a person. I mean, you're showing a lot of signs that that's behind you. You. But I'm gonna go ahead and keep you locked up just in case in your brain the buffet opens again.

[Brady]

Would he be the first cannibal back into.

[John Holmberg]

You know, that's a good question. I don't know. Is he the goat?

[Brady]

Most of the time, you know, and they say we made a mistake, we need to put him down.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

On the attack, you know, like they do with dogs.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I agree that you need to put all cannibals down. I don't think rehabilitation a cannibal.

[Brady]

But this would be the first.

[John Holmberg]

This might be the first time they're like, hey, we fixed it. Let him loose. I don't know that that's comforting. You know that monkey that ripped that guy's face off a few years ago? Remember that?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I think they kept him in like a cage forever after. I think he's still alive, but he's like, been in like, they. They're analyzing. Like, he's like, you know that Matthew Broderick movie, Project X or whatever it was. I forgot. What is it?

[Brett Vesely]

Some like that.

[John Holmberg]

But they. They, like, stick probes in his brain to see, like, is he. They kept Caesar alive, naturally. Gonna hate things. Yeah. Caesar from the. That's right. To make it so people understand Caesar. That's the one. Anyway, the family of the guy he ate, also not happy about this. And I think that would be like. That's true. I know the Goldmans were miserable that OJ Got freed. I can't imagine if my family member was eaten by a fella. And then 12 years later, they're like, you know, at the very least, as a family are like, well, at least I'm comforted knowing that he'll be in jail for his whole life. No, he won't.

[Brady]

You said he was in for 60 years.

[John Holmberg]

No, that was his sentence. He was in for 12, actually. I thought maybe he was in for 11 and a half years, when. Now he's out. No, he'll be out. Yeah.

[Brady]

It seems a little, like, too soon in a way.

[John Holmberg]

11 years.

[Brett Vesely]

Probably get shanked in prison.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, he was in a.

[Brady]

Don't mention.

[John Holmberg]

He's in a loony bin. He didn't go to a real prison.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, well, how did Dahmer get away with it?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. He got shanked. He ate more than one, I guess. I guess that's the rule. If you just use.

[Brett Vesely]

If you get the family size. Okay.

[John Holmberg]

If you go back for seconds. Ah, gotcha. This the lady, the sister in law of the person that he ate and that. Yeah, you heard me say that? She says, how do we know he's not gonna do this again? Which is everyone's feeling of a cannibal. How do you know he's done? She thinks he's learned in the system how to suppress his cannibalistic rage to look normal again.

[Brady]

And it wasn't like a drug, you know, induced deal.

[John Holmberg]

What, that he was drugged up and ate a guy? Probably. I would assume there were drugs involved. But still, you let him out on his own devices.

[Brady]

That friend that's gonna give him that mickey, right?

[John Holmberg]

Somebody goes, hey, man, it's been good to see you. Where you been? I read a little bit about you in the paper. I didn't get into detail. Yeah, I'm back, man. I'm back. How you doing, Tyrese? Back, everybody. Hey, man, you want to get an eight ball and start messing around? I should probably avoid that. Last time I had eight ball, I ate a man. I took eight ball the wrong way. I spelled it a T, E. I ate a man's ball. So, yeah. So the family is like, not getting any justice on this one. But he. He hacked a stranger up with an ax and then he ate some of his brain and definitely made a point to eat his eyeballs and then talked about eating those eyeballs. He's out now. Remember when Ed Reed of the Baltimore Ravens retired and then he took his helmet off and he had that crazy beard and that wacky hair and everybody's like, ed Reed looks homeless and crazy. That's what this guy looks like now. Like that's. He looks like when we all said Ed Reed was crazy. This is his. This is his sane photograph. Yeah. This is his sane picture. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Skip the boony bin.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Well, it's, you know, you're supposed to put cannibals down. In a world where I was president, if you eat somebody, you're out, you're out. And the one guy yesterday on the news was like, the goal of all people in an institution is rehabilitation. That should have a little asterisk next to it. Raping kids, harming puppies and stuff like that. Yeah. Any molestation of any sort like that. And then, of course, cannibalism falls into that category of you're not coming back to us.

[Brady]

They should test him the first night he's home and serve a sheepshead with the eyes. They pluck it out. See what he does.

[John Holmberg]

Scott Haynes suggests, look, every time he gets a little urge, just give him a McRib. We're pretty sure he's gonna get the. That tastes pretty close. Cannibals aren't gonna ever eat anyone again. John the enabler died a few years ago when Porkopolis closed. That's true. That's probably. I say we open up Porkopolis again and give him a delicious option. And then of course, another memory of Taurasi said, I remember when Taurasi got her all time points leader, like when she became the all time scorer in the wnba. I had to read it off my CVS receipt to ticket. It was on the top of it to say congratulations. Of course, that memory is hard to shake when the receipts of fries and stuff remind you of the accomplishments of the players are not knowing much about. Anyway, what are you going to do? But they still can go mind finger Caitlin Clark at games. And I guess that's. That's the only positive left with the WNBA is the lesbians can Go there and image some of those girls through their brains. I just mind scissored Alicia Thomas. I don't know if I know if there is one of those or not. I'm assuming, probably. And if your neighbor's a cannibal. Move, by the way, also, that's if you're in an apartment building and the new guy comes.

[Brady]

I haven't said anything for years. You know what?

[John Holmberg]

You know what? He seems all right. Except that the second the neighbors and. And you also, if you work, if you have to report in the neighborhood as a person who's done sex crimes, minors and stuff like that, or your sex offender, you gotta rap on my door and go, hi, I'm new in the neighborhood and I have to let everybody know I'm here. Same with the cannibal. Although I don't need you knocking on my door to do that.

[Brett Vesely]

Do they have to go door to door?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, they should. They should just like the sex offenders.

[Brett Vesely]

Like hand out pamphlets and.

[John Holmberg]

And stuff. Give a thing. It says here it's me. I live over on this. This is my house and rap for. No, no, that's why you have to. You would have to tell you. You don't ask. He's just some. You think he's selling magazines? That's the only reason a guy that looks like him's knocking on my door in the middle of the summer. Like, oh, Christ, no, I'm not interested. I don't need any of that. No, I'm not selling magazines. I have to tell you something. My name's Tyree. I live over here now. And I just got out of jail. Like, oh, geez, were you a sex offender?

[Brady]

Great.

[John Holmberg]

We got this in there. Oh, no, no, I never had sex with any. That's disgusting. Okay.

[Brett Vesely]

What man do you think I am?

[John Holmberg]

Tyree, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. No, I ate a guy, so I have to let you know that I ate someone once.

[Brady]

Well, I did time for it. I didn't do. I'm still innocent.

[John Holmberg]

Were you starving and in a plane crash? I can understand that. No, I was just bored. And I cracked his skull open as a stranger. I didn't even know him. I cracked his skull of an. Ate his brains and his eyeballs. But I'm better now. Oh, well, welcome to the neighborhood, Tyree. And then you just hear that fence post being that hole being dug for your real estate sign. Call Doug Hopkins, 1-800-get-the out of there.

[Mark]

Call Doug Hopkins, 1,800-sell now.

[John Holmberg]

I'll buy your house. Unless there's a cannibal next door, Hopkins.

[Brett Vesely]

Will just hand you to five grand. Nah, nah, I'm not doing it.

[John Holmberg]

$5,000. I'm good by a security system. You got a cannibal living nearby? You get what happened? What happened to us all together. Every one of us, except for that little fringe group of weirdos that we all wanted to kill? People like this? Where's the America I grew up in where we all agreed that cannibals needed to die? Where is that America?

[Brady]

Soon there's gonna be a section in Phoenix where the cannibals live.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, that's Cannibal Downs over there. You don't want to go in there where they house all the cannibals. And how about the poor pricks that just are getting out of jail for, you know, involuntary manslaughter? They got into a bar fight, cracked a guy, and his head hit the pool table, and he died. And he's in that halfway house. And now his new roommate is the old can. I'd be shaking all night long. Look like Michael J. Fox in that bed. Tyree, do you mind turning the lights on? I'd put mouse traps all between his bed and mine. Any creaky floor noise, I'm shooting into the air. I have to go to the bathroom, man. Well, I'm not taking any chances. You ate a guy once.

[Brady]

You notice there's salt and pepper shakers all over your cell?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You just crack some out of there? Yeah. I got him my bag of belongings. What's that? Salt? Is that Frank's Red Hot? What do you do? Oh, I put that shit on everything. Everything? Oh, no.

[Brett Vesely]

The Montreal steak.

[John Holmberg]

Seasoning and everything else. I got this from the Kansas City Steak. You can order it online, but this is the best seasoning I've ever had. Okay, maybe we should. Maybe we should get some steak sometime. Yeah, I like meat.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

What are you doing? I'm just rehabbing in between. I'm in a halfway house here. I was in a fight a few years ago, and they let me loose, but I got to kind of wait it out here. What are you?

[Brett Vesely]

What are you?

[John Holmberg]

You're the cannibal. I know you. No, thanks. Cannibal. The America I knew and loved wanted to kill all cannibals. It was just a.

[Brady]

It was.

[John Holmberg]

Sure, sure. I mean, even back when people were fighting on integration of races and civil rights, you could get a Klansman and Malcolm X in a room and say, all right, let's find something we all agree. And I would start with the cannibals. All need to die. I'm like, oh, yeah, Malcolm. They would shake hands like, that's a deal. There was no question about it.

[Brett Vesely]

We good?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Malcolm would be like, I agree by enemies necessary kill all cannibals. And the clansmen were like that, right? I'm like, all right. They would finally have a place to building block.

[Brett Vesely]

High fiving.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, high fiving. How about your robe? You got your black hand all over my white robe. You got your white robe on my black. We like a Reese's grand up. But they agreed wholeheartedly. The cannibals needed to die. And now it's divided somehow. There's a group of people that are like, no, he's got. He's been rehabilitated. I don't believe that anyway. It doesn't make sense to me. The world doesn't make any sense at all. No. He's got apartment hunts. He's got to go out and what's he looking for? You know, parks, neighborhoods, a lot of people. You know, friendly neighbors, Nice kitchen. Yeah. Would you be friendly or. I mean, Brady, You.

[Dick Toledo]

You.

[Brett Vesely]

Brady would.

[John Holmberg]

Holy mother. You get so fast. You would get eaten.

[Brady]

The biggest mistake I made was going over there eating an apple right in his mouth.

[Mark]

$10 against Apple.

[Brady]

My shoe.

[Mark]

I just keep the apple in my mouth.

[John Holmberg]

You'd answer the door for the cannibal before he even knocked because you'd see him in that weird screen door that only you have, except for in bad neighborhoods where they put up security doors. Yours isn't that bad. You have that screen door to watch for new friends.

[Mark]

Ooh, a new colored friend.

[John Holmberg]

Yay. This is Gilbert at its finest.

[Mark]

Hi, my name's Brady. Want to come in and eat something?

[John Holmberg]

You have no idea, man. Yes, I do. God damn, you are adorable. Can you oink for me a couple of times?

[Mark]

Oh, sure.

[John Holmberg]

He's running around on all fours for a bit. Tyree, look at me. Hold on. My pro. My PO's outside. He's watching. You got to put your clothes back on. Stop boinking for me.

[Mark]

I was having the time of my life. Tyree, come over tomorrow, new friend.

[John Holmberg]

You would get all the those seasoning heat open your want a drink, Tyree? Sure.

[Mark]

Run over there and go over there. Got tons of stuff.

[Brady]

It's got a lot of rubs in the cupboard.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man, your fridge is just filled with rubs and sauces. Look at that barbecue. God damn.

[Mark]

You want a barbecue something?

[John Holmberg]

Yes, I do.

[Mark]

You're my bestest New friend?

[John Holmberg]

Yep. You do. Beaten. I bet Brady would be. Brady. Have that guy back on cannibalism in 48 hours. There's something I gotta tell you first.

[Mark]

Let's watch a show together. Jack Reacher.

[Brady]

You like Jack Reacher, right? Boy, that's a big pit we dug there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Mark]

That felt like £250 of turkeys.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, one turkey.

[Brady]

What?

[John Holmberg]

You got pretty eyes. He's like the big bad wolf, for Christ's sake. Anyway, he's free, so enjoy that. It's out of control now. With a global credit card, you earn reward points for every purchase. Use your rewards at checkout at many of your favorite stores or use points instead of cash when you shop online. You can even use them to book a flight. Up to three days in advance. New York, Vegas, Albuquerque. Albuquerque. From groceries to getaways, redeem your way. Apply for your global credit card [e-mail] Global Credit Union. Your world of financial possibilities. Celebrate 25 years of pool perfection at Blueway Pool's open house and customer Appreciation Day. Saturday, February 28, from 10 to 2. Join the fun at their newly remodeled showroom on Dobson and Baseline in Mesa. Food, drinks, kids activities, prizes and raffles included. Plus, for limited time, get $2,500 off a new pool purchase now through March. Come celebrate, save big and make a splash with Blue wave pools. Visit bluewavepoolsaz.com or Schedule A consultation today. It's the last of Homburg's morning sickness. I'm 98 KUPD. It's time now for what would Brady Do? It's brought to you by our friends at MMP Guns right there in Mo Money Pond, 12th street in Indian School. If you want to head on over there, all the gun needs you'd ever want. Ammunition, weaponry, accessories, they've got it all. For all you gun people, if you don't have it, they can get it for you and they get it quick. You can also get involved in their AR15 building classes. They've got those. They've got. You can build a 9. You can build your own gun. Walk out of there with the knowledge of the gun like no other. Plus, it's cheaper that way. Are you ready, Brady?

[Dick Toledo]

Ready.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Dear Brady, my mother in law has an only fans page. She's a dominatrix. Don't ask how I found it. I want to tell my wife, but I can't do it. I already kind of asked my mother in law if she knew about only fans. She was convincing. I did it passive aggressively. And to her credit, she played it off as an ignorant person to the topic. But I saw it and I know it's her because it's in the spare room of her house. And I know that room because before I married her daughter, that's the one I had to sleep in when I stayed there. What would Brady do? Joey, here's what I like already in this story. Reading between the lines. Mom had boundaries sexually that the kids couldn't stay in the same bedroom because, you know, she's so moral. But the room she made Joey sleep in was her puss room for the Internet. How about that? A dominatrix to boot.

[Brady]

And then his wife, the daughter has no idea.

[John Holmberg]

No idea because she was raised as a girl.

[Mark]

My mom would be really upset if we slept in the same bed. She's kind of old fashioned.

[John Holmberg]

Meanwhile she's got barbed wire wrapped around her thighs. What do you do about that?

[Brady]

Because there's a part that you want to tell like, oh, by the way, I found something. See, that's. I just need to confirm it.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good thing about being me. I'd be blabbing at this. Come in here, come in here. Like the second I saw it. That's your mom.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

She's crazy. And I would do it immediately. I know. I don't, I don't let. I'd let.

[Dick Toledo]

Would you give an honest critique, by.

[John Holmberg]

The way, Mom, I wouldn't look long. I don't know that I'd talk to her Ms. Cans mom, but I'd make it. I'd expose it to, to Joey's wife.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like, look at this. I would definitely make it that I know. And then, you know the quote.

[Mark]

What are you looking on dominatrix sites?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Stumbled across. It's what I do. I have no, like that kind of thing.

[Brady]

I got no beef. Exposure.

[John Holmberg]

Exposing.

[Brady]

It's exposing it out of the fact that you just want her to be aware or that, you know, you don't think, you know, your wife's going to be really happy about that necessarily or you don't know. How's that your problem? Well, you're in a relationship with her.

[John Holmberg]

I know, but how's it your problem that she's mad at her mom? She mad at you for seeing her mom doing dominatrix stuff.

[Brady]

You're, you know, like doing, you know, laughing.

[John Holmberg]

Hilarious. Because it's on. You can't be burdened with that kind of weight and actually like, oh, I better not say you're gonna say that to everybody. It's gonna slip out.

[Brady]

By the way, my wife's mom is a.

[John Holmberg]

Why would you say it to you guys until I. I might actually.

[Brady]

Oh, you would.

[John Holmberg]

I might.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It'd be hilarious if my mom was doing it. Be like you're not gonna believe it. No, I don't want any. Anybody to see it. And I certainly are going to turn. You guys can look all you want, but I would if I. I couldn't.

[Brady]

Live without have to address it. Like if I'm gonna have to say something which I'm. I want all three in the room.

[John Holmberg]

Why look at you. Scorched earth, man. Huge, huge issues. They're gonna turn that on you. Yeah, they are. You're stirring it up between the two of them. You're looking at dominatrix sites that someone found this. Hey, wait a minute. Don't you have to pay for only fans?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't he kick in to see her?

[Brady]

Yeah, if he's.

[Brett Vesely]

Unless he just saw a quick screenshot or something like the. The teaser, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I'm saying like if he got it from a friend but if he's out there searching.

[John Holmberg]

So he's searching.

[Brady]

Then it would be telling them also. Oh, I see what you're doing.

[John Holmberg]

Right. And that's where you have to go.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I look at that stuff and I got no shame.

[Brady]

But again that's new territory for them. Maybe. Maybe the whole.

[John Holmberg]

Not for mom.

[Brady]

Which would be good because the whole family's then keeping. Doesn't sound like there's much new territory.

[John Holmberg]

I think mom's explored some. She's like Lewis and Clark.

[Brett Vesely]

We need a screen name to check this out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Joey, fire over a screen name and see what you got here. See your mother in law smacking asses and shoving high heels and stuff? Yeah, to me that.

[Brady]

Don't you think?

[John Holmberg]

That's not my.

[Brady]

Do it a little. I mean if you're going to do it. Bringing it up. I'm totally being a little respectful.

[John Holmberg]

Tell the wife. Hey, found your mom. You want to see it? She's doing dominatrix stuff on OnlyFans.

[Mark]

You're horrible.

[John Holmberg]

No, not as horrible as your mom. You want to see it? No, you should talk to her and leave it at that. And if she starts going, I can't.

[Mark]

Believe you're doing this.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't do anything. Your mom's doing it. She's the one lying to you. She wants to make it about you.

[Brady]

Then don't tell me anyone.

[John Holmberg]

All right, I won't. But I told you, I don't know how you're gonna handle it, but this is off my plate. And now there's gonna be an occasional joke now and again. Hey, your mom's on TV again, and it's just some lady in leather. Yeah, I couldn't live with that weight on me, pretending that I had to tap dance around that. No way. I am smashing all the eggs. I am walking right across and talking.

[Brady]

Well, that's what I'm saying. But I try to address it as not me.

[John Holmberg]

Gotta be funny.

[Brady]

That blows it up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think that makes it seem more seedy than it is. If you just make it like it's no big deal to you.

[Brady]

With her, for sure. With my wife?

[John Holmberg]

With who else?

[Brady]

Well, I was saying, like, the mother in law.

[John Holmberg]

I would never talk to her about it.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm leaving it alone.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Brett Vesely]

And none of my business. Who cares?

[John Holmberg]

That's.

[Brett Vesely]

That's why if she's giving a nub to some dude on a video, don't care. None of my business.

[Dick Toledo]

Get down with your bad self.

[Brady]

There's some of that.

[Brett Vesely]

You do what you got to do.

[John Holmberg]

I couldn't live with that. I'd have to tell you guys. Then it's coming out somehow.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, that's fine, but, you know, there's no reason to bring it up to her.

[John Holmberg]

I hate to use this analogy, but you put your finger in the dike for only so long before the thing. It's gonna find another way out.

[Brett Vesely]

But again, I think we need a screen name to, you know, just verify your correct answer on this.

[John Holmberg]

Needs to see your.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I'll check it out.

[John Holmberg]

Stomping on a neighbor's balls to confirm.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, I may show you guys a video the next day, so can confirm.

[John Holmberg]

You may have already shown us.

[Brett Vesely]

That's possible.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I couldn't. I couldn't let that go for a minute. I mean, I'd probably sit there with my mouth open. I'd look like a Moni chi for about 12 minutes. And then. This is gold.

[Dick Toledo]

Tebbings, have you seen your mom?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. What if it was your buddy? Oh, never ending. If I saw Stephen, that was the dominatrix. Oh, my God. I go over. I'd go straight over to, like, Seba's and buy chaps and leather and go, hey, Mark, your mom left this at my house last night. What are you talking about? And then just on top, it's got a website. Oh, my God, it would be great. Oh, Lord almighty. Dear praties Lord, if possible, could you take my friend Mark's mother And then convince her the dominatrix videos are a great idea and then send them to me. Not that I want to see them. Lord, that's seedy and gross. I want to tease Mark about it forever. And hopefully if Mark's praying his way and he gets my mom to do it, I would. I'd laugh hysterically. I mean, my. There'd be a boy. I think bus hit me in the head hard last week. The palm slap to my forehead would put me on the. I'd be sleeping on the freeway again.

[Dick Toledo]

You'd be in the protocol again.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody told me that sleeping on the freeway. If you. This is why I'm not going to the doctor for this head injury. They'll take your driver's license away. Oh, yeah. I was tired.

[Dick Toledo]

Stands to reason, doesn't it?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Dick Toledo]

A little bit.

[John Holmberg]

I've fallen asleep on the freeway plenty of times. Nothing too it. We've all. I've seen you doze off in this room every once in a while. I know you're doing it behind the wheel. Everybody's had that. Whoa. I just fell asleep. Mine was more of a black try.

[Brady]

To wake yourself up by doing things.

[John Holmberg]

Mine was more of a. Oh, what? Huh? I'm going out. I couldn't stop it. So you. You sit everybody down and have some tender meeting about mom saying stuff.

[Brady]

And so you know it's out stuffing nubs.

[Mark]

I watch you put avocados in a man's ass on the interwebs.

[Dick Toledo]

Impressive.

[Mark]

And I think the family should know this in a group setting where I'm.

[John Holmberg]

Laying this bomb on everybody.

[Brady]

Gathered you all here.

[Mark]

This intervention is going to take a second.

[Brady]

Especially you're throwing it out there because you don't care who it's open for.

[John Holmberg]

Everyone maintenance.

[Brady]

No, no, I'm saying that to mom.

[Dick Toledo]

By just doing it.

[John Holmberg]

No, because if she was throwing it out, then she'd have told somebody.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, she'd be doing it for.

[John Holmberg]

She does care. She would have told somebody.

[Dick Toledo]

Only fan.

[John Holmberg]

That's why you got to tell her daughter and not her. Let the daughter handle it.

[Mark]

Joey saw you on the Internet.

[Dick Toledo]

Mom in the room.

[Mark]

You make him sleep in. The push room. Oh, my God, the puss room.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

That's a good way of bringing it up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, look, I'm not gonna be there when it's brought up. I'm just letting everybody know. I'm. I'm. I. Christopher Columbus. This thing. I found it. I discovered the video. Dear Brady, there's a girl living a couple houses down and there's A chain link fence between my house and theirs so I can see everything. Classy. She's been. She's been peacocking around the backyard and skimpy outfits even when it's cold. And I'm thinking to myself, is she doing this for me?

[Brady]

What's up, girl?

[Mark]

What up, player? How you doing, player?

[John Holmberg]

Last night I saw her when I was on a walk and I introduced myself. Something wasn't right, but she's very pretty. In the middle of telling me stuff, I realized this is possibly a tranny. Here's the rest of the story. If I find out it's a tranny, I still want to gulp it. Is that bad? For real, though, that's how hot he she was. Would you do this not knowing and see if it is? Even if you had? No.

[Brady]

Let's go on to the next story.

[John Holmberg]

If you liked a person that was very pretty and you were like, this is a good looking person. And then midway through you're like. But there also is a possibility this person has male genitalia. Do you stop right there or do you try to find out you're wrong?

[Brady]

Like I said, you're not. I'm stopping.

[John Holmberg]

You're stopping? Just in case. What would you do? What would you do if you didn't have suspicion?

[Brady]

I didn't know and you didn't know.

[John Holmberg]

And you went there and the pants came down.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

There's a manhandle.

[Brady]

I would stop right there.

[John Holmberg]

Would you?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What if you had gotten to the point where you'd already finished a couple of times?

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Then the pants came down.

[Brady]

I would have an NDA out there. Sign this. Let's not talk about this.

[John Holmberg]

So you're making a out and you got duped. The trans goes and gives you the greatest experience of your life with a mouth hug. And then you're like, let's, let's keep going. And then drops trowel. And you just realize, I got duped.

[Brett Vesely]

By the way, my name is Tim and I fix BMW.

[Brady]

You got me.

[John Holmberg]

You got me.

[Brady]

A little mistake.

[John Holmberg]

Where's Ashton?

[Brady]

But I want to make it clear that I, you know, there's people that go out there and like, beat the crap out of the person not doing that well.

[John Holmberg]

Especially in your condition. Your legs would be all wobbly, you'd be relaxed. You can't, you can't start chingasos. The second you've been blown, you've been blown into submission.

[Brady]

They got you, all right? They got one on you. No big deal.

[John Holmberg]

The older I get, the more I.

[Brady]

Realize Again, that's why the NDA is right there.

[John Holmberg]

I tell you this, the older I get, the less surprised by stuff I am. That one would still get me.

[Brady]

It would get.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? I'd tip the cap and I'd reciprocate. Cuz. God damn it, I don't know if.

[Brady]

I'd go back in.

[John Holmberg]

What if I.

[Brady]

Well, I do. I know I would.

[John Holmberg]

Great.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then you found out it had a dingler dangler. And then a few days later, like all men do when they're kind of, you know, single, living alone, doing whatever. The phone rings. Hey, of what kind?

[Brett Vesely]

Doing.

[John Holmberg]

Want to go watch the game?

[Brett Vesely]

Like.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that is a good mouth hug. After I yakked, you would have a Crying Game moment. You throw up the whole time. Yeah, I think 20 years ago, why I'd be crazy now. I don't think I'd ever stop laughing.

[Brady]

I might. I would. There would be laughter involved after the fact. Maybe not right there. That spot. But.

[John Holmberg]

But I couldn't go back the next day. Yes. Oh, there's some. There's some. You gotta believe what happened. That night's gonna be a tough sleep. And I don't think I'm coming in the next day with the story. No, I think it's gonna be. I remember about five years ago when I was with that neighbor lady.

[Brady]

Don't know what you're talking about.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, turned out it had a manhandle. And I did it three more times. And then I never saw her again.

[Brett Vesely]

I'd be in the shower with a simple green. A green bottle and a scrub brush.

[John Holmberg]

I don't. I just laugh. I think. I think I'd hit the simple at that point.

[Brett Vesely]

What are you gonna do?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you know what?

[Brady]

You got your BMW fixed.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Yeah. And now you got a good mechanic. I got a transmission slipping over here.

[Brady]

You got a good wrench.

[John Holmberg]

You know, you got a good mechanic. Yep. Because it's a man.

[Brett Vesely]

The tranny can fix my tranny.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. It's out of control now. 88, can you PD.

[Larry McFeely]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my friend Wayne from AMCO. Wayne, it's tax time. You filed, and your refund's burning a hole in your pocket.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Larry, before you book a trip or buy something shiny, please remember your car tax time's the best time to take care of all the car repairs you've been putting off.

[Larry McFeely]

Sure, because nothing kills a tax refund buzz faster than a surprise car breakdown.

[John Holmberg]

I'll say if your car's been acting up, now's the time to handle it.

[Larry McFeely]

Should we wait for our refund before getting repairs?

[John Holmberg]

No payment plans let you get repairs now and pay when you get your check.

[Larry McFeely]

Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco, Double A MCO transmissions and.

[John Holmberg]

A whole lot more. Come on down to the Ranch House Grill. Comfort food is your next meal. Pork chili verde, chicken fried steak. Ranch House knows you'll think it's great.

[Larry McFeely]

Are you ready for the best breakfast in Phoenix? Ranch House Grill has been voted best breakfast four years in a row.

[John Holmberg]

We're famous for our chicken fried steak.

[Larry McFeely]

Pork chili verde and large portions. Located in the Hotel Heart of Arcadia.

[John Holmberg]

Join us for breakfast or lunch seven days a week, 6am to 2pm We're.

[Larry McFeely]

A family restaurant with a small town atmosphere serving Southwestern comfort food for 18 years. Come on down to the Ranch House Grill for the best breakfast in Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

At 56th street and Thomas Road. The best of home birth's morning sickness. This is the Big Red Radio. It's time now for the entertainment drill and it's brought to you by our friends at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. I had a guy email me already, said he took my test while he was driving. Driving trying to read that license plate in the car in front of him and he couldn't do it so he didn't realize how bad it was. I've never even thought about it. So he's got his appointment right now and you should do the exact same thing. Do my test if you're on the road right now, look at the car in front of you and try to read that license plate without squinting or straining or take your glasses off and see how bad it's gotten. Can you read the plate in front of you? If you can't, there ain't no problem with that. Dr. J Schwartz will get you all fixed up. He'll have a plan for you. Whether it's Lasik, you know, you know, a new prescription if you're interested in keeping the glasses or you can get out of those completely. Lens replacement is the route I'd look into. That is awesome. See if you're a candidate and what you're a candidate for and get that 2020 vision back on your face. It's awesome stuff and they are the best they got me seeing. They can do the exact same for you. TeamIDoc.com get your complimentary consultation right away. They are the official eye doctors for the Suns and Diamond Backs, so you can trust these guys. It's Dr. Jay Schwartz and the Schwartz Laser Eye Center, Brady Entertainment.

[Brady]

We talked about it a little bit last week. There's another celebrity auction potentially fair to OJ Simpson.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, OJ. Yeah.

[Brady]

It's supposed to go down sometime in March. OJ says OJ's kids can file legal objection, which would tie this up in court again.

[John Holmberg]

Fine. So long as my bids in. But I've waited this long.

[Brady]

Here's an item that you might to want to get. It's his bible. It was given to him.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, one with Robert Kardashian's note in it. Yep.

[Brady]

Robert Kardashian gave it to him after the chase happened in the Bronco and things were going to start going down. And it says, you open it up on the COVID says, read this book every day. God has a definite plan for your life. You're. You are his child, child. And he will use you again. I love you and God loves you.

[John Holmberg]

What's God's plan for Nicole Kardashian? What was God's plan for Nicole's life? Oh, right, that's another chapter.

[Brett Vesely]

He's got a copy of Dianetics.

[John Holmberg]

I hate when somebody tells someone who's murdered. They. When Ray Lewis said that God's plan for me. God's plan for me would put me in that spot because he had greater things planned for. What about the two dudes you killed?

[Mark]

No plan. No plan at all.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't have a plan for them? The plan. Let me get this straight. The plan was for God's. God's plan for those guys was for you to kill them so you had a better chance? What?

[Brady]

God's plan was also to stroke a couple of checks.

[John Holmberg]

God's plan was for you to take a lesser charge for obstruction of justice so you get out so you could fulfill that plan. Meanwhile, the plan for the other two is to live underground for a while. I mean, ever. I hate that. God's plan for you. Oj if you ever said, hey, oj, God's got a plan for you, well, that would ensue. That would assume that God's plan was all right. On June 14th in 94, you're going to cut somebody's head off. This is all part of the plan.

[Brady]

God. Because his plan of making that white suit disappear.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, for Ray, flawless. No, he. It was an accomplice. Talk about destruction. A job, justice. The Lord Jesus. Give me the suit, Ray. I've got plans for you. Anybody telling OJ God has a plan for you? Even God's like, knock it off. Stop writing that Letter right now. Kardashian. I'll show you. Your daughters are going to be movie.

[Brady]

Web.com ranked the comedies top 10 comedies that are funny from start to finish.

[John Holmberg]

The original Hangover.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Not even in the top. What?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, this anchorman crap on there.

[John Holmberg]

Anchorman.

[Brady]

Anchorman's in there. Number four, I'll give you start. Number ten, pop star. Never stop. Never stopping.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Never seen it Andy Samberg thing. It's terrible.

[Brady]

Yeah. Number nine, Blazing Saddles.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, okay, there's a good one.

[Brady]

Number eight, Black Dynamite 2009.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty funny.

[Brett Vesely]

Never seen it.

[Brady]

Number seven, Monty Python. The Holy Grail.

[Brett Vesely]

Pretty solid.

[Brady]

Number six, Caddyshack.

[Brett Vesely]

Solid.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. Although start to finish up, kind of serious. Weird little pregnancy in the middle there.

[Brett Vesely]

Changes the stripes should be in there too.

[Brady]

Number five, super bad. Number four was Anchorman. Number three, weird. The Al Yankovic.

[John Holmberg]

I love that. But you have to be a super fan of Al Yankovic. It's not great. Otherwise.

[Brady]

Number two, Eurovision Song Contest.

[John Holmberg]

It's funny, but it's not the Story of Fire saga. Will Ferrell's in it and Kristen Bell. I don't remember who else, but yeah, it's basically making. It's a. It's a parody of that giant European show. No, it's. Well, the Europeans have that huge. It's the biggest Jew that competition. We're not impressed involved in it. But it's. The nations of Europe send a singing group in. It's like Olympics of singing. And they have this huge Eurovision show that just gangbusters and they. And they make.

[Brett Vesely]

So it's like American Idol type thing.

[John Holmberg]

It only is a world.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Except for the United States isn't in it.

[Brady]

Then it's Airplane was number one.

[Brett Vesely]

All right.

[Brady]

But I thought, you know, you mentioned hangover.

[John Holmberg]

Hangover. Well, maybe the. The sequels ruined.

[Brady]

Was pretty solid.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, the hangover sequels were. Were pretty much ruined. At least three. Especially three.

[Brady]

Someone put a list together of six unforgettable lip sync incidents. First one was Ashley Simpson on Saturday Live.

[John Holmberg]

She screwed that up.

[Brady]

2004. Oh, no.

[Brett Vesely]

He's got to be number one.

[Brady]

Millie was. Millie Vanilli was number three. 1990. Well, I don't think it's ranked.

[John Holmberg]

They didn't have.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, it's not ranked.

[John Holmberg]

But they didn't have a live lip sync thinking thing.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They just faked their song. Ashley Simpson went on.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, no, that's how they got caught at a concert.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, was it that it?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, it. The tape started skipping. There's a video of it out there.

[John Holmberg]

I Do remember that? A little bit.

[Mark]

That's how they got caught, though.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I thought that was just people.

[Brett Vesely]

How the CD was skipping or something.

[John Holmberg]

How about that?

[Brett Vesely]

Kind of like I used to do.

[Brady]

Three bucks, you know, and not only are they, you know, lip syncing, but.

[John Holmberg]

It'S never been them.

[Brady]

It's not even them. Mariah Carey on Dick Clark's New Year's Eve. Yeah, Rocket Eve 2016.

[John Holmberg]

That was terrible.

[Brady]

And she said she planned, you know, her rep said she planned to sing along to a back backing track. So. Beyonce at Barack Obama's inauguration in 2013, she never fully admitted to lip syncing the national anthem. Beyonce later noted that bad weather and lack of rehearsal time or proper sound check.

[John Holmberg]

You know what I remember about my 2013 inauguration with Beyonce? How hard Big Mike got watching her sing. It was unbelievable. That dress popped right up. Rumor has it those two might be on the outs saying that because she's not showing up to stuff with him. And then she didn't mention him on a couple of Instagrams and he's. He said something about her and she didn't say and same kind of thing. It was like, oh, trouble at Big My Chest.

[Brady]

The Red Hot Chili Peppers at Super bowl in 2014. Was that Super Bowl?

[John Holmberg]

It's not gonna matter.

[Dick Toledo]

Don't do the math. You can't do it.

[John Holmberg]

48. You're gonna do it. Why? Why are you doing it? Who cares? Irrelevant.

[Brady]

After their performance, people noticed the guys and their instruments weren't even plugged in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but you can Bluetooth, please.

[Brady]

Said it was the NFL's call to have. Have them fake the music. While Anthony Keith is saying live. The last one. The Mamas and the Papas on the Ed Sullivan Show.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, everybody remembers.

[Brady]

I thought everyone did that one, but.

[Brett Vesely]

Everybody was on American Bandstand.

[John Holmberg]

I know that.

[Brett Vesely]

Those were all.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they were all in Soul Train. Yeah, but Ed Sullivan was live. That was the whole point of that theater. So all those. All those acts didn't. They didn't lip sync much on Ed Sullivan. They started the lip syncing thing in the 70s, so TV wasn't ever. It didn't have bad sounds.

[Brady]

The cool thing that. In 1967, the Ed Sullivan Show, Michelle Phillips protested having to lip sync by eating a banana during the performance.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, kind of hot.

[Brady]

California Dreaming Wuang Clan have announced their first final tour. It'll be stopping in Phoenix. And on June 18, Footprint Center.

[Brett Vesely]

Did you get your tickets yet?

[John Holmberg]

Curb can't call it Footprint center anymore.

[Brady]

That's how they have it listed.

[Brett Vesely]

Kirby getting her tickets yet?

[John Holmberg]

Daddy, daddy, the wuang's coming. Wuang busy, Bones.

[Brady]

She's a big fan of Young Young Dirty Bastard.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she likes Young Dirty Bastard. Is an old dirty bastard dead?

[Brady]

Yeah, he passed away. But he's got YDB replaced.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. The Young dirty dad. We're going to go to then Chance the Rapper this weekend. Daddy, are you going this weekend? Is that. When is it next week? It's soon.

[Brady]

The ninth.

[Dick Toledo]

Tyler the Creator.

[Brady]

Or is it Tyler? Tyler the Creator.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta go see that. And you still haven't just given. Given up and said, give these tickets to someone else. I'll wait in the car.

[Brady]

You're not.

[John Holmberg]

I don't understand that.

[Dick Toledo]

Too much coin.

[John Holmberg]

Why he doesn't. Yeah, but it's so.

[Brady]

No, I'm really enjoying his numbers right now.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna go just so some kid doesn't go for free? That's basically why you're going in, Right? So Kirby doesn't give it to a friend like you because these tickets weren't cheap.

[Dick Toledo]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

So, like, handed 500 bucks to a kid.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

So you're gonna eat.

[Brady]

You just want a parent to go. So they're.

[Brett Vesely]

Why'd you get nominated?

[John Holmberg]

Because none of them wanted to go. I don't say no. Hold on.

[Brady]

I have a prediction.

[John Holmberg]

You offered. Oh, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

For sure.

[Dick Toledo]

You offered.

[Brett Vesely]

No, because then he had to buy five tickets, right?

[John Holmberg]

Or four. I think he had to get four. Anyway. Yeah, it was through. My guy said I can. You have to do four. I have to give it to you in a pack of four.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

So he had to buy four.

[Brett Vesely]

I'd have made one of the other.

[John Holmberg]

Parents do that, Right? Have the other. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

No, they were more than happy to take you up on your offer.

[John Holmberg]

You know what happened?

[Brady]

Logan's gonna take.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, let him go.

[Mark]

That Kirby girl down the street's father got four tickets to the game. To the Tyler the Creator show. Should we send our daughter?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but I think we should have a parent go along. Oh, yeah?

[Mark]

Well, that dip down there said he'd go in.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That is an idiot. He'll go. Thank Christ. Thank Christ for that dumbass dip, Brady boy. Good. The neighborhood dip. That's me.

[Mark]

I'm in.

[John Holmberg]

So understand you need a parent to go along. None of us are gonna do it. Ask the dip. You talking about me? Yeah. You should have just said no and just sleep in the car. But I understand you in two ways. A, yeah, you think you're doing the right thing by parenting Be you're not giving $500 to some strange kid now if his parents aren't going to kick in. Nobody gets that ticket.

[Brady]

One at least paid one of them.

[John Holmberg]

But if someone offered you 600 collector.

[Brett Vesely]

From one so far.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and three are going.

[Brady]

We have a. We have three going right now. One ticket available.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you don't have. You have a fourth.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Why don't Ronnie go with you?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, make her go. If you got to suffer so she and you do.

[Brady]

But I think think. I think if Kirby doesn't have a friend to step up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I will.

[Brady]

I will make her go.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Okay. Anybody buying this?

[Brady]

I'm putting my foot down.

[John Holmberg]

Here we go. Here we go. Honey, I'm home. Did you hear the dip on the radio this morning? Acting like he's put his foot down.

[Brady]

She's going to get the business.

[John Holmberg]

This is great stuff.

[Brady]

What a dip.

[John Holmberg]

I know. It's what we are always say. Kirby will have a third friend go and then the second one's going to be mad cuz she for free. Right, that's what I'm saying. But you're willing to eat those tickets. You could sell both of them, make all your money back and then just sit in the car.

[Brett Vesely]

Or you could go to the H and H ranch, hang out with John or something.

[John Holmberg]

Right. I'll go down there with him, go get dinner. I'll go to the rah room with you.

[Brady]

Yeah, we could do that.

[John Holmberg]

Sell your stupid tickets. It's not doing that.

[Dick Toledo]

You never jump on anything.

[Brady]

Yeah, we. Yeah, we'll do that. I would never do that.

[Mark]

I'm not allowed.

[John Holmberg]

You don't shake your head and act like you're pulling a fast one on us. We know you too well.

[Brady]

Look, someone, a parent is going to be with them.

[Mark]

Why?

[John Holmberg]

What are you going to do?

[Brett Vesely]

How old are they?

[Brady]

In the raw raw room that parent.

[Larry McFeely]

Will be what's the problem?

[John Holmberg]

Right? In a suite.

[Brady]

Yeah, I might do that.

[John Holmberg]

Might do that. We need know you what idea?

[Mark]

It's like I always told you, you entire.

[John Holmberg]

It's out of control now. It's John Holberg here seeing clear as a bell thanks to my friends at the Schwarz laser eye center. Well, here we are looking at a brand new year. Can you see yourself in 2026? Can you see it all? I mean really, maybe in 20, 2026 you should see yourself seeing. Fix those eyes. Vision changes are gradual. You might not even know how bad it's gotten. I know. That was my story. So start the new year by seeing clearly visit Dr. Jay Schwartz and his team at the Schwartz Laser Eye Center, 480-483-Eyes Schwartz Laser Eye center, the official eye center for your Diamondbacks and sons.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, we're already into February, and most of us are clinging to those resolutions. And for men, it's even harder to commit to lifestyle changes. If you're in your 40s or older, it's Nick Delito for game day Men's Health. What Game Day Men's Health does is show you stand and gives you a game plan to tackle those changes. It all starts by scheduling a free consultation, and for most guys, that's quicker and easier than getting lab work scheduled through your own physician. Go see for yourself by going to gamedaymen's health.com and scheduling that free consultation at one of their 12 valley locations. Head to gamedaymenshealth.com.