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You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories this President's Day.
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C
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A
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C
Easy legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it all online. It's really that simple.
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Do not listen to this while driving.
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Or when full alertness is needed.
D
The Best of Holmberg's Morning Sickness this is the Big Red Radio. This is a good one.
E
Here.
D
Check this out. Hey, guys, I just want to let you know I'm out. No more Holmberg's morning Sickness for me. Don't get me wrong, I love this show, but if I wake up anytime before noon after the third of March, it's gonna be because I'm sick. I just inherited $1.8 million from my uncle. It's like a Disney story. I'm leaving my wife. Oh, she's been making me unhappy for a long time, and I just haven't been financially ready to leave. But now I am, and I'm setting up shop in Phoenix. Maybe I'll see Jewburg down there at the ranch apartment or Apatapity. Nice work. If you've paid attention to any of the more recent music, It's Bruno Mars and Rose. It's been a fun ride, but my days of driving, rideshare, busting my ass and Working for the man are over. I'm 44 years old. I did okay financially, but I didn't want the life I'd created. Now I'm gonna slay puss all day and do whatever I want. It's been real, boys. Thanks for being one of the very few bright spots in my miserable existence. Only four more days of being sad, Wes. Thanks for everything, Wesley. There you go. Congratulations, Wes. I'm glad your uncle's dead. Good for you. Go see.
E
Yeah.
D
That'S pretty great. A million eight, 44 years old.
E
Has a little coming into it, you know, Whatever.
D
Let's just say he's pulled half. Half a million in this. He's hanging around. Two million. Yeah. Be broke by the time he's 50. And by the way, you got that inheritance. You haven't started the divorce process. Guess what? She's getting some of that half. Thank you, Ed McMahon. That's right. Shoot.
E
No, I think you got to. As long as it's not if it's in a separate account. But no, they.
D
It's.
E
I think it's different on the Internet.
D
Onheritance that goes to that person. They don't. That's not part of the accumulation of what you had while you were married?
B
Nope.
D
No kidding. I hope you're right. You've looked into this Brady. I'm worried about it.
A
Take her on a van trip.
D
Yeah. Buy a transit.
A
Kind of worked in the past.
D
Start driving around for a little while. Yeah. I hope Brady's right, but I would assume she's got a right to fight for it, that's for sure. Don't know how long you're married, but you're 44, so let's just put a 10 on that. Or a five six. I'm not saying she's getting half. She's getting something. She's not gonna let you wander. And you better file those papers immediately so she doesn't get used to a certain lifestyle with this new money and then say, well, I can't go back now. I don't know what your situation is, Wes, but don't get too happy yet. And I love your idea, actually, go see a lawyer today immediately. Don't go emailing us. Sad. Wes. Yeah. Scott says, be smart about this, or you're going to be listening to this show by the end of the year. Again, Scott, you're right. Welcome back. Let's welcome Wes back to the program. It's like when boxers have to fight again and they're like, geez, you're fat now. I Just love the sport so much. I'm like, you're broke, aren't you? No, I love boxing too much to step away. Oh, you're retarded and you're poor. No, no, no. None of that been happening.
E
So tell me about this movie you're doing.
D
Yeah, I've invested in a racehorse. Oh, Christ. We'll see you in November. I don't know about inheritance, Brady. I hope you're right. I'm worried. This one says, in state of Arizona, you can't touch any inheritance in a divorce. I've learned the hard way. Oh. Donovan's chick got an inheritance in life. So when you get it. So that's why so many people get so excited about inheritance. They can finally ditch that loser and feel good about it and just walk away from everything. Ah, that's. I've been bitching about that for years, listening to people going, my uncle dies, I get like a million dollars. I'm like, why are you so happy about your uncle dying? I see now. So you can get rid of that.
A
Tub of goo you've been married to for a while.
D
Ah, no, String. That's news to me. I had no idea. I still imagine there's a lawyer out there. Oh, yeah. This one says, as a proud owner of two divorces, Brady is absolutely effing wrong. So now we have the counter of it.
B
Oh, okay.
D
Any income or wealth generated during the marriage is community property in this state. That's what I figured. But then Donovan says no, Brady says no, Jeremy says yes, and he's a proud owner of two divorces. I know Cordell and Cordell on the phone. You need the professionals on this one. Yeah. Our friends over at Lerner and Row have a good divorce department. Oh, really? Yeah.
A
I didn't know. Okay.
D
I thought they just go right to them. Over to Kevin and.
A
Let's get Kevin in here.
D
Talk to Kevin. I have to do stuff with him later today. I'll actually ask. I'll have. I'll. I'll have some answers for you tomorrow from the legal team.
A
He's got four more days to listen, so we're.
D
Oh, that's true. He's got to hang out with us for the rest of the week. Why. Why not just quit today? What are you. Deep down, you know you might blow this money. You don't want to burn bridges at work. Just quit the guys. I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to tell you all the off today. I'm not doing anything else. I'm leaving. But, hey, congratulations. You're done. If this guy said he only gets 1.8 million from his uncle, we'll hear back from him in a month. He could be gone in a month. It's not what you think it is. As far as you know, you gotta figure if you live be 80, that's 36 years on a million eight. You start breaking down that math. You're like, oh, you're kind of. I don't know what you were making.
A
Before, but if you invest, you could.
D
Be, you're smart enough, but then you can't touch it and then there's taxes. Yeah.
E
If you don't touch it and you say I get 10%.
D
Yeah. If you're living off of it.
E
Yeah.
A
He's after.
D
And you're only. Yeah. You're only getting 10% a year growth and that's what you live off of. Maybe. But. Yeah.
A
Which wouldn't be bad.
E
People look 180k.
D
I think what we're saying is, Wes, as wet blankets that we are, is you're not going to be the talent you think you're going to be based on your 10% of 1.8 million going in. Let's say you even got two. 10% of that, just 200 grand and you could probably do pretty well. But you're still not going to top level.
E
You're not yachting.
D
No. You're going to have a decent place. Not going to be knockout. It'll be a 1600 square footer and the HOAS are going to kick your ass. If you want to live downtown. That's the one thing about living downtown. I don't understand why anybody goes buy a place for 500 grand. You're like, this is crazy. And then the HOA is 1,000amonth. It's an entirely separate mortgage payment. For what? Parking? So good luck, Wes. Keep us well. I wish I could tell you to keep us up to date. I hope you're really good with your cash. Go over to that Trajan wealth and see what they can do for you. Try to find out about this inheritance. A divorce is going to cost you more than you think. Or maybe not. I don't know about the inheritance rule. There's more people. Everybody's been through this. Like, the sad thing is everybody's been through this. Latest update, it says my dad had it happen. He did go to Cordell and Cordell. The lady who did the divorce's name, Miss America. No joke, that was her last name. She's amazing. They told him he can't touch the inheritance and now I have to take care of him. I learned the hard way, like I said. But he tried to get his wife's inheritance. I wonder if it's different for women since they're allowed to like they have different rules. And divorce. You got to go out to Trajan figure this out. Az law, divorce, can't touch it. Two marriage guys. An idiot. All right, so I'm getting more if this is a vote majority saying that he can't she can't touch her inheritance. I don't know.
A
A lot of these guys are up with us this early, so it seems like they've she's touched a few of those inheritances.
D
She's been out there. Oh my. Yeah, this one says why not get a job and roll the dice. A1 means work for a week and get fired. A4 means four weeks and get fired. You're claiming you have F U money. This is what I would do if I was rich. Go grab some dice and that dice that tells you how many days you have left working 1, 3, 4. Work a week and get canned or go in there and try to get fired and then email us back with a story of what you did. Piss on the vegetable.
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Hear the words you say sometimes. I mean, who talks like well, it's now the NBA's time to shine. For us Suns fans, that means fast breaks and buzzer beaters are front and center. It's Dick Toledo for Underdog, the app where picking the NBA can score you 5,000 times your money. And playing on Underdog is so easy. Just pick if players will go higher or lower on their stats. And here's a sneaky good play I like. Take Grayson Allen higher on three point attempts and Mark Williams higher on rebounds. But whatever the statin you like, Underdog's got it. So play on Underdog with me and download the app today and use promo code HT Ms. To score $75 in bonus entries. When you play your first $5 underdog make picks win money must be 18 19 in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 in Colorado for some games, 21 in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where underdog fantasy operates, terms apply. Concerned with your play, call 1-800-MY-RESET or visit www.ncpgambling.org Arizona 1-800-Next Step 1-800-639-8783 or text Next Step to 533-42 New York. Call the 24. 7, Hope line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text Hopeny to 49 the Winter Olympics have begun. And you want to know why? Betting the Winter Games on FanDuel just makes sense. It's Dick Toledo. From Holberg's morning sickness. And from game lines to medal counts to finding your angle on the events you care about most, FanDuel gives you more ways to stay connected to the action. That's right, the Winner Games are on. And there's no better way to follow them than with a little wager on FanDuel. The winner games and FanDuel. Play youy Game 21 in President Arizona gambling problem. Call 1-800-Next-Step or text next step to.
D
5, 3, 3, 4, Bloomberg's morning sickness. Anyway, thanks for emailing, Wes, and thanks for sticking it out with us until you were too rich to listen. I think I'd spend. If I got just a couple million bucks just handed to me, like, boom, here you go. I think there'd be a whole year of, you know, closing up shop, too. I would. Then he'd have to be smart. You know, people always say that. I always ask Doug Hopkins, I'm like, when are you gonna be done? He's never, what would I do with my time? I have to have. I have to have a job. And I'm like, man, not me. And you give me FU money, and you're hearing F you. I'm not coming in. And first sign of trouble, I quit. There's no possible way I'm gonna allow stress in my life for work if I've got that kind of cash.
A
That was my dad. He always said it growing up, oh, I'll never retire. Then when he retires, I don't wanna do a goddamn thing. And I can't even get him out.
D
Of the house half the time. Yeah, some people. My dad still likes working, but he found new things to do. He's just busy. Yeah, but he doesn't want a job. He doesn't work for a dude anymore. It's. It's. I don't know. I. I have no problem. I talked to Jay up at Tactical Black. I'm like, once I close her up, I close it up. Oh, you'll. You'll need to be. You'll start a podcast or something, right? Like, no, sir. I will be disappearing from society. Gone. Never hear from me again. Like, why? Cuz done enough.
A
Plenty.
D
Whole point of working is so you don't have to work. It's like Mr. Miyagi, you work so you never have to work again. You work to the point where you say, I don't have to do this.
C
Anymore.
D
That's the whole point of the job. It isn't to put you in the ground and you can find whatever you want to do. If you want to keep working, do it. You don't.
E
Call from a buddy yesterday. I'm in Orlando. I decided to.
D
He just decides to move.
E
You know what I mean? No, just go there for a week and play some golf.
D
Come back when he wants.
E
I'm gonna come back probably on Tuesday.
D
Yeah. Never know. Open ended ticket. Because you know why? He worked till he didn't have to anymore, and now he's doing whatever he wants. That's truly retirement. Doing whatever you want. Some people want to go work at Walmart. Some people do. How many times you been in an Uber with a dude? You know, I retired early and I just need to do this. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're broke. I don't believe anybody retired early and just needed to get out there and drive people around the city. Unless they blew it. There is nothing to me that says comfortable retirement less than. Why don't I pick up strangers and chat with them for a while?
A
Yeah, I don't see Bezos handing out samples at Costco anytime soon.
D
The second I had to stay busy.
A
You know, this Amazon thing got, you.
D
Know, a little much. Little, you know, got.
E
We never made money.
D
I stepped away and I said to myself, you know, I just want to be with the people. I know. You're broke Uber driver. The second you tell me I don't have to do this. Yeah, you do. The minute you say that, yeah, you do. I don't need to do this. I do it because I want to. Nobody wants to do this.
A
I like being around people.
D
Nobody wants to do this.
A
Go to the bar, for Christ's sake.
D
Yeah, exactly. Go sit at a bar and drown your misery with the other weirdo. Go to the Swizz. It's a soon to be Holmberg Swizz alert. You heard me, Beth. Anyway, not allowed to talk about it, but yeah, go to the bar and go. What's your. What's the Matthias bar? Local legends. There you go. Local legends. Out there in the East Valley, the Tap dragon is a big hit. Head on over there and sit down and tell people, I don't have to sit at this bar. No, of course you don't. It's a choice. You're driving rideshare. Something's going on. You either hate your wife so much that you just. You can't. You'd rather sit with strangers and drive them to the Scottsdale Airport from Glendale. I don't have to do this. You want to take surface streets? It'll take longer and then we can talk more. Oh, boy, oh, boy.
A
Thank God for Waymo.
D
But congratulations, Wes. I know. That's why Waymo was invented. It's because you Uber drivers got a little chatty. At first, we thought we could quell the chatty Uber driver with a button on the app. It's said you want it to stay quiet the whole time. We told him before we got in the car in the rudest way possible, in a non confrontational way of saying no talking. There was a button on there. Uber drivers got so chatty that we had to invent a button that says, leave me alone. I just want to sit in the back and stare at my phone and act like I'm busy with emails, when really all I'm doing is playing Vita Mahjong. So how do you do for a living? Stop the car. I want to. I'm going to. I'm going to call Uber immediately and ask for a please don't talk to me button. And they did it. Then they're like, it's not enough. The Uber drivers still sometimes talk Waymo. We need is no driver at all. Is that possible? I'm like, we'll get right on it. The lack of wanting to be with another person drives technology. It's been porn for the last 200 years and suddenly it's Uber drivers talking to you has driven the Waymo technology through the move five, six years ago. Do you ever imagine?
A
No.
D
When Uber. Uber first hit. It's like peak. You're like, this is the greatest thing ever. I can drink, I can do whatever I want. There's some dude who'll come pick me up. Twenty years ago, there was a service where a dude had a mini bike that folded in half. I don't know if they still have it.
E
Oh, yeah, that.
D
And you call them up and go, I'm drunk scooter.
E
Or something like that.
D
Or I don't know what it was. I remember, I don't want to leave my car at the bar. And then he would scoot me on this little like 50 horsepower Briggs and Stratton homemade bike. And it would fold in half. And he'd come and get you and stuff his bike in the back of your car, drive home, scooter back, scooter back to the next dude. And we thought that was awesome. Then Uber happened. Then they got chatty. Now, Waymo, we're closing in on teleporting. It's getting there. It's getting close. The hover cars are actually occurring. There's that dude who invented those a little while. He's like, I got him. I just got a clear airspace now. In the next five years, these are gonna be out there and I can't wait. Because they're Waymo based hover cars, so it wouldn't. You don't even have to learn to drive it. It'll get you there. You don't need roads. You just need to tell it where all the power lines are. That's basically it. And I will be really happy to be one of the test people on that deal.
E
We need you.
D
That's good. Oh, I'm. I'm proud to do. I'll be happy to it. And if I get cooked up like a mylar balloon. Ah, power lines right here. You're welcome. Mark that down. Yeah. If I can make travel better for the future, I'll do it. Congratulations, Wes. I hope another relative with money dies soon so you never have to work with me. I find it weird when you root for relatives to die so you get a better life. But sorry. Poor uncle work so hard to give your deadbeat nephew. I wonder why a nephew would get. I wouldn't never hand my money to a nephew.
A
No.
E
There'S a couple. I mean, you know, you could be no kids. Uncle or aunt could have been raising that.
D
That's true.
E
You know, because mom and dad were.
D
That's true.
E
Down and out or whatever. Or messed up.
D
Yeah, that's true. I guess if you were like really the mom.
E
Because you always hear those scenarios like oh, or you have a aunt or uncle that was absolutely loaded. They just trickle it down to the relatives.
D
Wealthy. Yeah. Wealthy uncles that start handing. But even still, if I was a wealthy uncle, a deadbeat nephew's not getting anything. I'll pat you on top of the head. But you know, probably gonna hand a lot of that to the humane society or lost their home pet rescue and tell this nephew, go get a life of your own. I had to do it. So I just of an Uber. The 44 year old female Uber driver says she's going to divorce her husband who just inherited money in four days. Can't wait for him to get out. Yeah, it's probably true. I don't have to do this. That's how I know you're broke. Uber driver. I got one. Dude. Something was wrong. I had. I flew JSX and I had the Scottsdale airport to my house and he's. He's on Thunderbird. And he goes, I'm going to probably end up going all the way to 51 on this. It's easier. I'm like, that's fine. It's good. Take. Just take a minute. I'm like, all right. We get to the end of the airport fence. What do you do for a living? And I do the patented caskets. I make caskets. Oh, it's quiet. And I get worked. I'm back into pretending I've got a game on my phone that's working even though my phone was dead. You know, I'm a. As an engineer and a lawyer. Like, that's fantastic. How'd you blow it? So you had to do this? What happened? I mean, what kind of drug habit did you get into with two incredible educations like that? Anyway, I don't have to do this. I just get on getting out of the house. And when you're retired, you don't get to see people. That's a choice. You did that on purpose. Bars, there's all sorts. You didn't have any friends in the time you. And then I realized, oh, engineers are weirdos. That's why I forgot. Ask any engineer about who they don't want to hang out with. And it's other engineers. They're very strange people. Engineers are off. Add the word lawyer to that. Now you're a pariah. So that's why he's driving Ubers, because nobody would talk to him for 38 years. And now he's retired. And it was a decent car. It was a minivan. I'm like, people used to come in.
E
To talk to me.
A
Yeah.
D
But it was always problems. Nobody wanted to talk to you. They wanted you to solve their problem. You didn't make friends out of it. It's out of control now. Idx. Can you pt.
F
All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week downtown at Stand Up Live. Get out and see the comedy of Moshe Kasher and the up and coming Ari Maddie. Up north at Desert Ridge, you'll get Josh Wolf and SNL's Tommy Brennan. And Eastside of the Tempe Improv, don't miss the very funny Sam J. And more Josh Wolfe. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com It's.
D
John Holmberg here from the Morning Sickness for lifechangerloan.com I got a little note from Shane O', Grady, the head cheese over at Life Changer Loan. He said this week three wonderful listeners all made the move to Life Changer Loan, and each of them will be paying off their homes in under four years. That's right. And that's normal, too. So many people try to refinance. Go to lifechangerloan.com and see if it's right for you. Maybe you like paying debt off for 30 years and spending $200,000 extra in interest. I don't. I know a better way. And it's not magic. It's just math. Lifechangerloan.com.
Episode Theme:
Exploring an email from a listener, Wes, who received a $1.8 million inheritance and is planning a dramatic life change, including leaving his wife and quitting his job. The crew dives into the realities of "getting rich overnight," the legal complexities of inheritance and divorce in Arizona, and shares their perspectives on retirement, work, and the human quest for happiness.
Segment: [01:22–02:43]
"Thanks for being one of the very few bright spots in my miserable existence. Only four more days of being sad, Wes." [02:30]
"Congratulations, Wes. I'm glad your uncle's dead. Good for you." —John Holmberg [02:40]
Segment: [02:43–06:35]
"You haven't started the divorce process. Guess what? She's getting some of that half." [02:56]
"As long as it's not… if it's in a separate account…" [03:18]
"Don't go emailing us, sad Wes. Go see a lawyer today. Immediately." [04:47]
Segment: [06:35–07:59]
"If you invest, you could be… if you're smart enough, but then you can't touch it and then there's taxes." [07:24]
"You're not going to be the talent you think you are… You're not yachting." [07:40–07:59]
Segment: [08:00–09:24]
"A divorce is going to cost you more than you think. Or maybe not." [08:19]
Segment: [11:45–13:25]
"The whole point of working is so you don't have to work. It's like Mr. Miyagi, you work so you never have to work again." [13:14]
"You give me FU money, and you're hearing FU. I'm not coming in. And first sign of trouble, I quit." [12:21]
Segment: [13:25–15:42]
"There is nothing to me that says comfortable retirement less than, 'Why don't I pick up strangers and chat with them for a while?'" [14:21]
Segment: [18:15–21:12]
"I find it weird when you root for relatives to die so you get a better life… I wouldn't ever hand my money to a nephew." [18:46]
Wes (Listener):
"My days of driving rideshare, busting my ass, and working for the man are over. I'm 44 years old… now I'm gonna slay puss all day and do whatever I want." [01:22–02:30]
John Holmberg:
"Don't burn bridges at work. Just quit, the guys. I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to tell you all off today. I'm not doing anything else. I'm leaving." [06:37]
Brady:
"As long as it's not… if it's in a separate account… But no, they…" [03:18]
John (on retirement):
"Once I close her up, I close it up. Oh, you'll start a podcast or something, right? Like, no, sir. I will be disappearing from society. Gone. Never hear from me again." [13:01]
On Uber/Waymo innovation:
"At first, we thought we could quell the chatty Uber driver with a button on the app…" [15:43]
(leads to humorous rant about human avoidance fueling technological progress)
Wes is strongly encouraged to consult a lawyer and financial advisor before making any life-altering moves—with the hosts and listeners agreeing that caution, not euphoria, is the best approach.
End of Summary