02-18-26 - Dean's Bike Impalement Story 2007 - 100yo Woman Says Bacon Is Key To Long Life 2009 - Man Wants Kidney Back In Divorce 2009 - BO

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness (Arizona)

Episode Title: Dean's Bike Impalement Story 2007 – 100yo Woman Says Bacon Is Key To Long Life 2009 – Man Wants Kidney Back In Divorce 2009 – BO
Date: February 18, 2026
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Episode Theme:
A quintessentially irreverent and freewheeling episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness, blending hilarious and cringeworthy personal injury stories, commentary on extreme longevity (and bacon!), and a lively debate on marital kidney transplants entangled in divorce. The crew keeps the banter raw and comedic, exploring the absurd side of life’s physical and moral hazards.

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1. Dean’s Legendary Bike Impalement & Poolside Mishaps

[01:12 – 07:32]

Key Stories & Discussion Points:

• Dean’s Infamous Bike Story:

  • Childhood memory of riding home seatless after someone stole the seat off his Schwinn. Distracted, he crashes, landing squarely “on the infamous pole.”
  • Resulted in significant pain and a memorable visit to the ER:
    “It’s like two inches from finding out what it’d be like to be gay.” – Dean [02:39]
  • Four stitches required, leaving a scar and much embarrassment.

• Comical Aftermath:

  • Jokes about checking for scars later in life, “for other reasons” – comic implications about self-inspection.
  • “You can see it at deanmommiesbucake.com…” – Brady (mock promo) [03:57]

• Pool Lifeguard Incident:

  • Dean dozes off in a Speedo as a lifeguard, accidentally exposing himself to a group of girls, panics, and dives into the water, bending himself painfully.
  • Topped with a story about diving with a towel as a “cape” blindfolding himself and nearly drowning:
    “That was the worst. I dove off the diving board and the towel flipped over my face… I almost died.” – Dean [05:31]

Memorable Quotes:

• “I thought my testes were gone. I swear I thought... only had like four stitches.” – Dean [03:32]
• “Is it ankles up? Is it ass up? What are we looking at?” – Brady, inquiring about the taint-stitching position [06:03]

Segment Tone:
The hosts go all-in on mocking, supporting, and dissecting Dean’s misfortunes, showcasing their signature blend of crude camaraderie and over-the-top humor.

---

2. The 114-Year-Old Woman: Is Bacon the Real Secret?

[07:37 – 12:48]

Key Points:

• Listener Email Sparks Conversation:
  A listener points out a news item about a 114-year-old woman who credits her long life to “occasional crispy bacon.”

  • Skepticism reigns: “Nobody wants to live to be 114. That’s horrible.” – Brady [07:40]
  • Jokes about people misinterpreting “occasional” and gorging on bacon.

• Morbid Humor Around Extreme Old Age:

  • Debates over what “occasional” really means; jokes about old lady breath (“like Lord of the Rings in there” – Brady [08:56]), decrepitude, and the futility of extreme longevity:
    “If bacon makes you live to 114, I’m never eating another piece of bacon again.” – Brady [08:26]
  • Ridicule over the “world’s oldest person” title rapidly turning over; discussions about makeup contracts and giving centenarians luxury car prizes.

• Societal Impact:

  • Fears that long-lived people “screw up everything,” draining retirement funds, inheritance, and resources:
    “They've been waiting for her to go for years… She's blown through all of it.” – Brady [15:51]
  • Proposes age 85 as the societal cutoff: “I think we should start hacking heads at 85. If you have the gall to start diddling around at 85, you’re not doing anything productive anymore.” – Brady [11:33]

Notable Moments:

• Running Joke:
  “When it’s flat out amazing that you got out of the chair, you shouldn’t be around anymore.” – Brady [14:30]
• Banter about Family and Inheritance:
  “Most of her kids are dead.” – Freddy [16:04]

Segment Tone:
Darkly funny and biting, with the hosts skewering the concept of hyper-longevity and the societal/familial complexities it invokes.

---

3. The Case of the Missing (Loaned-out) Kidney

[17:20 – 25:32]

Key Story:

• Tabloid Divorce Drama:
  New York man Richard Batista gave his wife Donnell a life-saving kidney. Four years later, she’s healthy – and cheating. Now Richard wants the kidney (or $1.5 million) back.

Key Arguments & Hot Takes:

• Moral Quandary:

  • “Do you get that organ back in the divorce, or do you get compensated for it?” – Brady [17:20]
  • “She’s not bad looking either. I guarantee you when she was sick, she didn’t look good. But with his kidney… the key there.” – Brady [19:46]

• Gift or Loan?

  • Debate erupts: Was it intended as a permanent marital bond, or should the kidney revert if the marriage fails?
  • “It isn’t a gift if he says ‘I’m gonna loan you my kidney for a while.’” – Freddy [19:53]
  • “She cheated. She owes that guy everything. … That kidney gave her the power to cheat again.” – Brady [21:17]

• Legal Realities:

  • Hosts debate whether a judge might award the kidney’s value as compensation, knowing surgery is out of the question.
  • “His only shot is compensation financially.” – Freddy [23:59]
  • Imagines “warranty periods” for kidneys—90-day money-back guarantee gags.

Notable Quotes:

• “Maybe the judge will see it your way, but I don’t see that happening.” – Freddy [20:22]
• “If you gave Lisa your kidney and then she’s boning some dude now that she’s healthy and pretty again... you’d get the money at least.” – Brady [24:44]
• “It’s covered in Crisco. You’ll love it. Everything tastes like bacon since I met him.” – Brady [25:24]

Segment Tone:
Ethically charged but handled with cartoonish absurdity, the segment is a perfect example of the show’s tendency to take real news and explore it from gloriously wrong angles, with no fear for cultural taboos.

---

4. Notable Quotes & Moments (With Timestamps)

• On Dean’s bike accident:
  “I must have looked down to see if the clothespin was holding onto my Brooks Robinson baseball card… I yanked the handlebars to the left and ran into those steel garbage cans. … And sat down on the infamous pole.” – Dean [02:23]

• On aging:
  “If bacon makes you live to be 114, I’m never eating another piece of bacon again. That just sounds miserable.” – Brady [08:26]

• On gifting organs in marriage:
  “This isn’t right. I saved your ass, lady. … She can give the kidney back or pay him 1.5 million for that organ… At this point it’s no longer a gift of life.” – Brady [19:36]

• On end-of-life practicality:
  “You should go no later than 85. That’s it. 85’s the cutoff. I think we should start hacking heads at 85.” – Brady [11:33]

---

5. Segment Timestamps (Approximate)

• Dean’s Accidents: [01:12 – 07:32]
• Longevity and the Bacon Lady: [07:37 – 12:48]
• Bitterness About Centenarians and Social Security: [12:49 – 16:21]
• The Divorce Kidney Case: [17:20 – 25:32]

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6. Episode Takeaways

• The crew thrives on storytelling that’s one part therapy, one part roast, digging into life’s gross, bizarre, or morally ambiguous situations.
• Dean’s stories provide the raw, physical humor, while the “bacon and kidneys” discussions let the hosts challenge social taboos with irreverence—a hallmark of their appeal.
• Under the jokes are real questions: How do we value life, health, and what do we owe each other when circumstances change?
• For all its ribaldry, the humor is rooted in honest curiosity about what happens when things go off-script in life.

In a nutshell:
This episode is a rollercoaster through bike mishaps, geriatric bacon wisdom, and the perils of mixing organs with matrimony, all filtered through the show’s signature irreverent and candid banter. It’s real talk for people who like their breakfast radio uncensored and full of heart.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted.

[Brady]

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[Commercial Announcer]

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[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins dot com. Let's talk about the people who make claims. For instance, a company out there saying they'll get you 100% of market value for your home. And a lot of times, Mr. 100% getting that inspection and says, oh, 100% just dropped because you've got a few more problems. Don't play around with these people. Trust me when I say you can trust TV's Doug Hopkins. He won't play with the offer at all. If he does, he'll give you $5,000 guaranteed. You can the process@dough hopkins.com or grab that phone and sing.

[Dean]

Inspiration for twin beds.

[Show Narrator]

The best of Homburg's morning sickness.

[Freddy]

The legend.

[Brady]

The legend is on the line. We don't want to use his name, but everybody welcome Dean Movie and his magical taint.

[Dean]

You're killing me, man.

[Brady]

Moomi Brady tells this story about you all the time.

[Freddy]

He was 26.

[Brady]

Yeah, you were 30 years old. You were riding to the kitchen where you eat soup.

[Dean]

Oh, man, I don't know. I was probably 12, I think.

[Brady]

What happened? Is it true?

[Dean]

Yeah, I got the beautiful Schwinn, you know, like the 56 incher, you know, graduate. My Stingray got stolen at the five and dime.

[Brady]

Okay. Wow. How old are you? You had a five and dime in your neighborhood? What are you, 80?

[Dean]

Dude, I'm 48.

[Brady]

48.

[Freddy]

He was a newsy.

[Brady]

I gotcha.

[Dean]

So, yeah, I was a newsy.

[Freddy]

Actually.

[Dean]

My brothers had a paper route with that sack tied to their handlebars. But you. I was at the park and somebody ripped off my seat. You know, they just took off my seat. You know, it's probably on ebay right now.

[Commercial Announcer]

You know, will Be.

[Dean]

So I'm driving home with this pole, you know, and you know, you know. You know how you're pedaling and you're waving back and forth, you know, pumping.

[Freddy]

You're pumping hard.

[Dean]

Pumping hard. So I must have looked down to see if the clothespin was holding onto my Brooks Robinson baseball card or something. Something distracted me, so I pull. I actually yanked the handlebars to the left and ran into those steel garbage cans of a neighbor.

[Brady]

You're an idiot.

[Dean]

And sat down on the infamous pole. And that's when they didn't make poles with rounded edges, you know, they were the steel tubes. So it's like two inches from finding out what it'd be like to be gay.

[Brady]

Well, then you found that out later, though.

[Dean]

Yeah, I did, actually. It's not that bad.

[Brady]

So this thing hits the.

[Freddy]

The.

[Brady]

The middle. The middle area.

[Freddy]

Yeah.

[Brady]

He was.

[Freddy]

Felt like he was attacked by Rock Hudson.

[Brady]

Rock Hudson on a drunken stuber. Just.

[Dean]

So you know, I. I'm bleeding gut. Blood just running down my legs, and I'm running back.

[Brady]

It's like a Christmas story. Except for instead of his eye.

[Dean]

Yeah, my eye.

[Brady]

My eye. You'll shoot your brown.

[Dean]

Oh, my God. I thought my testes were gone. I swear I thought. But I. You know, it wasn't too bad. I only had like four stitches.

[Freddy]

Okay, so did it just shred through your pants?

[Dean]

No, it's just like that little half moon circle that tore in from the tube.

[Brady]

Now, have you ever taken a mirror to it and seen if it's permanently scarred?

[Dean]

You know, I have for other reasons, but I don't remember seeing the scar.

[Brady]

All right, you can see [e-mail] can we.

[Freddy]

Can we fast forward six more years in Mumi's life?

[Brady]

Sure. It's moomies. This is Mumi's life. Is this the tool story?

[Freddy]

The lifeguard?

[Brady]

Oh, this is my favorite story.

[Dean]

You guys are amazing. All the guys at Stone Creek Furniture come up to me about the pool story.

[Brady]

Good plug.

[Dean]

It was awesome, you know, and I was like.

[Brady]

I had.

[Dean]

I was a lifeguard and I got a break. So I'm. I'm in the lounge chair taking a break, you know, and I fell asleep and. And I was wearing a Speedo, you know, so of course, I'm not that gifted, Right. And so the turtle head comes popping out, you know.

[Freddy]

Phoebe Cates coming over there.

[John Holmberg]

Hi, Dean.

[Dean]

I forgot her. I think her name is Lisa Wysocki. I think we were going out and her and her friends were sitting There. And here's. Here's my polished German helmet sticking out.

[Brady]

So your wiener started to hang out of your speedo.

[Dean]

Yeah. While you're sleeping, they're like, giggle. You know how the little girls and I look down, I go, oh, shoot. And so I. I stand up real fast and I dive in the water. Which was a huge mistake. You know, it was like. You know, it was like diving with a surfboard attached to your waist, the rudder bent backwards. Oh, right. Bent all the way. I thought I broke it. I swear to God I thought I broke it.

[John Holmberg]

Is this the one where he hits.

[Brady]

His head, passes out? Yeah.

[Freddy]

He tells him he's superman. He ties a towel around his neck and goes off the high board like.

[Dean]

That was the worst. I dove off the diamond board and the towel flipped over my face. And I. When I went to breathe, I was like, breathe. And I swam as fast as I could to a side, you know, I swear I was out of breath. I almost died. How often died by a beach.

[Freddy]

And he rammed the side of the head with the side of the pool with his head.

[Brady]

Dean, how often did the government knock on your parents door and just demand they. They take the state helper? Please, you need help with this one.

[Dean]

Oh, man. Emergency room was my friend.

[Freddy]

No problems now because Dean wears a helmet.

[Brady]

Let me ask you this, Dean. What kind of position are you in when you're getting your taint stitched? Is it. Is it ankles up? Is it ass up? What are we looking at?

[Dean]

You know, I don't even remember. I don't even remember. Yeah, how convenient, because when you're that age, you know the sack is not that low. So then I have to push it up, Right?

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady]

All right, Dean, these are wonderful stories. And if you hurt yourself again in the future, please call.

[Dean]

Thank you, Jen.

[Brady]

All right, we'll talk to you later, man.

[Dean]

See you later.

[Brady]

There you go. Stone Creek Furniture's Dean throws his own plug out there. Nice work, Dean. Hey, you want to buy furniture from that?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

He's gonna get you a super dealer. You'll kick him where he's scarred. Oh, my God. I'll rip those stitches out. Four stitches.

[Freddy]

Just the half crescent of the pole.

[Brady]

Yeah. You think you're bad for you having to go to the doctor? Man, Imagine I would die of whatever that is. I would die. You'll get an infection from. I would die from it. Yep. You've got to go to the doctor. You've got like a cauliflower tree growing on. I don't care. I'm gonna die from that. Nobody sees this. Horrifying. There you go. Dean's story says Brady's friends. Always interesting.

[Dean]

Wow.

[Brady]

It's gross. Thanks for the. No more. We're done, right? Sharing the bike stories. No, I know they're all coming, but let's just end it now. Let's just not. I can't handle your. Your guys's taints being messed up.

[Freddy]

The entire Huffy went in my back end.

[Brady]

I still got the wheel hanging out. I'll roll over.

[Show Narrator]

It's the best of Homburg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

Brady, somebody emailed me and said, how did you miss it? The oldest woman in the world is a touting bacon is the reason why crispy. Crispy bacon on occasion is the reason why she's 114 years old. That's too damn old. Nobody wants to live to be 114. That's horrible. But crispy bacon doctors are wrong. She's 114. Says an occasional piece of crispy bacon is what kept her from dying.

[Freddy]

There's where people lose the hearing. The occasional.

[Brady]

Yeah, because then people go out and hog out on bacon.

[Freddy]

I've missed that a couple of times, but.

[Brady]

Yeah, but if she's 114, you gotta wonder how much she's eaten and how much you've eaten.

[Freddy]

If it's about even and what my level of occasional is. And her.

[Brady]

Yeah, what's your definition of occasional? Because my occasional to me is once an hour, have a plate of bacon. It's occasional. It's not constant. Yeah, yeah, it's definitely different. But 114. If bacon makes you live to be 114, I'm never eating another piece of bacon again. That just sounds miserable.

[Freddy]

Can you imagine her breath?

[Brady]

Oh, old lady breath at 114. Oh, Pauladin.

[Freddy]

That was what? I can't help but, I mean, I think that whenever even you hear someone turning a hundred, I'm like, what's their breath?

[Brady]

I don't. I never have thought that until now. Now I do think that. Thanks. Give mama a kiss that'll not leave my head for a while. It's my 114th birthday and I might not be making it, so give me a little smooches. It's like ghosts coming out of her mouth. Oh, my God. It's like Lord of the Rings in there. Baby, give your Grandmama A kid 114. No, thanks.

[Freddy]

And she looks all right.

[Brady]

Well, it's a tough. It's a tough title to hold, World's oldest person, because guess what? It don't last long having that title constantly being reset. Yeah, it's. Usually there's a guy right behind you ready to take the torch. So my guess is she's got a couple weeks to go. I think.

[Freddy]

If you get that award, why don't they give out the contract? Like a makeup contract, just like Miss America or.

[Brady]

Oh, they make a model.

[Freddy]

Yeah, that's a good idea. Around for a year. Let them travel.

[Brady]

Yes. You know what? They should. They should. They should fly them somewhere, anywhere in the world you want to go. We'll give it to you because you're ancient.

[Freddy]

And then give them that car on the very last, you know, end of the year. Let them drive the car that they won.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's a good idea. Give him an Escalade. Just put her behind the wheel. She's been in a wheelchair from arthritis since she was 114 years. 14 years in the chair because she can't walk and she just won't die. And she looks good for 114. I'm not sure what exactly you're supposed to look like, but she looks like she's 80. And I think that means, you know, I mean, then you're 40 years older. 34 years older than that. That's pretty good.

[Freddy]

I would say 90.

[Brady]

She looks 90 to you. All right. Still, she's like. If somebody said you looked like you were 20, you'd take it as a compliment. Sure. It's 20 years younger than you are.

[Freddy]

Yep.

[Brady]

Anyway, so you got that lady. So bacon is the key, ladies and gentlemen. Eat your bacon this morning and you'll live to be 114. I have yet to meet a person that wants to live that long. I was going to say, Once you hit 90, do you want another 24 years? No, I don't. I don't want 90. No. No way. It's people like her, selfish bitches like her that are screwing up everything.

[Freddy]

Yeah, my gramps had three pretty solid years in the 90s.

[Brady]

Awesome. He screwed up everything.

[Freddy]

Then he fell in a sand trap.

[Brady]

And 30. 30 plus years. 25 plus years of retirement is screwing up my future.

[Freddy]

But he did. Yeah, he did chew up some of this.

[Brady]

You chewed up all the retirement. You start getting into that whole, you're screwing up everything, care and all that. You should go no later than 85. That's it. 85's the cutoff. I think we should start hacking heads at 85. If you have the gall to start diddling around at 85, you're not doing anything productive. Anymore. When's the last 85 year old that actually pulled something off Shatner? 70 something. 70s. 70s. You can still accidentally like invent something or be president.

[Freddy]

I told you that. My. This is a while back, but my other grandfather, he, he's the one that passed away in the bowl of cornflakes.

[Brady]

Right.

[Freddy]

His buddy was on Johnny Carson because he was the oldest guy for a while that his friend parachuted. Yeah. His name was like lefty.

[Brady]

That's not an accomplishment. That, that's just an accomplishment because he's 90. That's all.

[Freddy]

Do you ever remember watching the footage of that? It looks like a rag doll.

[Brady]

Oh, when they shoved him out of the plane. Yeah. See, that's the only thing old people can do is stuff that everybody else can do. But you're just shocked they're still doing it. They're not coming up with anything new. Hope dies at 85. So. So should you. Holmberg's morning sickness Hear the words you say sometimes.

[Dean]

I mean, who talks like that?

[John Holmberg]

98 kill you P. It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. Time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins.com another satisfied listener called TVs Doug Hopkins and sold her home for cash. She reached out. Her name's Ashley and Doug wants to make it simple. Buy your house for cash as is, you don't have to do anything. Just like Ashley, no strings attached. If he moves that price, you get $5,000. Want to sell that place? Start the process online@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing.

[Brady]

Call Doug Hopkins 1-800-channel now.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning Cygnus and I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my [e-mail] youm've heard me mention Kevin Costner, Trey McBride, other countless celebrities and pro athletes and how they chose lifted trucks. But that doesn't mean it's only for actors and pro athletes.

[Brady]

It's for all of you.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody who loves a cool adventure. So if you're a huge celebrity like me or just an average Joe who wants the best truck available, head on over to lifted trucks. They live up to being the number one custom truck dealer for over 30 years.

[Brady]

10,000 five star reviews can't be wrong.

[John Holmberg]

Liftedtrucks.com Work hard, play hard, drive harder.

[Show Narrator]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Brady]

No nine year old's working on something going. I'm almost finished.

[Freddy]

Buddy's neighbor was 90 and the guy still gets up on the roof and cleans his gutters.

[Dean]

Great.

[Brady]

Then that's how he wants to die. But see, that's my point, Brady. It's not accomplishing anything. People are amazed that you just accomplishing the day you should die is when people are amazed. You can still clean your house.

[Dean]

Wow.

[Brady]

He still cleans his own house. He gets on the roof. Everybody can get on their roof. When people are amazed at you doing just basic stuff.

[Freddy]

Not most 90 year old.

[Brady]

Exactly. So you shouldn't be around anymore. When it's flat out amazing that you got out of the chair. You shouldn't be around anymore. Don't you think? What's the point of being blown away by the old man on the roof? What's the best thing that comes from it? Him falling off. I'm a realist, Brady.

[Freddy]

Those gutters are clean.

[Brady]

Good. You know how else they'd be clean? When the 30 year old that moves in after he dies cleans him too. And nobody's blown away when he's up on the roof cleaning gutters because he's still gonna accomplish something with his life. They are. When he falls off. Yeah. Oh. It'll be no matter what. When the old man falls off, people will feel bad. Or the young guy falls. You fell off a rock. I caught myself. Landed on my feet. If I was 90, I'd be dead and should be. Shouldn't be on the roof.

[Freddy]

You have lead in your feet.

[Brady]

Should just be laying in the box waiting for the sweet release of death. That's all after 85. Just get in the box and wait. No more checks. No more fun. You just get in the room of boxes and we'll.

[Commercial Announcer]

No more checks.

[Brady]

Nope. You get no more money.

[Freddy]

You don't want to siphon.

[Brady]

We gotta start cutting these people off. We got too many people in this world. That's true. They're living to be 114. Selfish bitch. Hogging up a room somewhere that somebody else can be. Family thinks that too.

[Freddy]

It's like Christmas.

[Commercial Announcer]

Do we really have to get her another gift?

[Brady]

Are you kidding me?

[Commercial Announcer]

She's gonna get any use out of this.

[Brady]

They've been waiting for her to go for years. Get her out of there. This inheritance is coming up here soon. I'm on the list. And she's 114 now. She's blown through all of it.

[Freddy]

I don't think too many of her family have to worry because they're probably dead.

[Brady]

Most of her kids are dead.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady]

She was born in 1890 something. Those people started having kids when they were like 14.

[Freddy]

That's why she said she waited until last year to get a divorce. Made sure all the kids were dead.

[Brady]

Nobody gets the inheritance, nobody gets the money but her. Yeah. 114. You're selfish, lady. Get in the box. Make room for the rest of us. I'm not. I'm never impressed by the aging thing. No one wants to live that long. How old do you want to be when you croak? Would you like to be 114? You're one of those people that'll stymie me and go, I'd love it. No, you would never want to do that.

[Freddy]

No, I think about. I mean, you know, obviously, that's the cards that you're dealt in, but you don't think, wow, the lifestyle can't be all that good. But I don't think you really care about that too much when you're that age.

[Brady]

Keep waking up. Damn it. Another one. So green.

[Freddy]

Exactly. Your eyes open in the morning, like, here we go.

[Brady]

Here we go again. Thanks a lot, Jesus.

[Freddy]

At least the jello's different.

[Brady]

Yeah. How much Jello can you take? Oh, no more Jello.

[Show Narrator]

It's the best of Homburg's morning sickness. I'm 98. KUPD.

[Brady]

Brady, we. We didn't mention this today, and I was kind of thinking because you're, you know, a real moral fella. When you give away an organ to your wife and she cheats on you and leaves you where she would have otherwise died had you not given away your organ, do you get that organ back in the divorce, or do you get compensated for it? If Ronnie was gonna die, you'd gladly hand over the organ. Yeah.

[Freddy]

If Ronnie were.

[Brady]

Hell, if you were gonna die, I'd hand over my kidney to you. Right. You know, okay, if you came to me and said, hey, we're a match, I'm gonna die without it.

[Freddy]

Now I go out and I. I don't mind. Not necessarily cheat on you, but how about if I do something that would.

[Brady]

Stab yourself in the kidney?

[Freddy]

Start a show? Try to.

[Brady]

Yeah. You go doing a frat show.

[Freddy]

Yeah.

[Brady]

No, and that's. That's as guy to guy. There's nothing that. You just live with my kidney. But if. If your wife gets your kidney and otherwise she was going to die, and then she walks off and starts banging some other guy when she feels healthy again, and then she comes to you and says, I want a divorce. That's your kidney in there keeping her alive. You get that back, right?

[Freddy]

Nope.

[Brady]

You get what? It can't be used for evil. And she used it for evil. Otherwise, she'd be all bloated and puffy like people who need kidneys in some bed. Well, this is real. It's a real deal. People have been talking about. I saw it on the news last night. I've been looking at it all day. They got divorced in 2005. Richard. What is the name? Richard Batista. Batista and his wife, Donnell, of Garden City, New York. Now, Donnell was not gonna make it. She was gonna die. Her husband Richard said, you know what? We match. I'm gonna give you my kidney. I'm gonna save your life because I love you. 2001, four years later, she's healthy. Richard finds out Dawnell's banging somebody else. So he's like, I want a divorce. And she, you know, gives it to him and gives him some fight. Now he's like, well, I want my stuff back. This isn't right. I. I saved your ass, lady. So Donnell has two options. She can give the kidney back or pay him $1.5 million for that organ, that she has to buy it from him. At this point, it's no longer a gift of life. Now it's a gift that you got to pay for. And Richard said, I saved her life, but this pain is unbearable. It's my last resort. And I didn't want this to be in the public eye, but if it is, it is. She's not bad looking either. And she. I guarantee you, when she was sick, she didn't look good. But with his kidney, the key there.

[Freddy]

You said it's a gift.

[Brady]

It isn't a gift if he says.

[Freddy]

I'm gonna loan you my kidney for a while.

[Brady]

Here's the thing, though. Marriage is also supposed to be for life. That was a promise she made him. Right?

[Freddy]

Right.

[Brady]

So it's a gift. She's taking that away. So he's saying, all right, well, then this wasn't for life. This was for the life of our marriage, which was supposed to be forever, but you've pulled the plug on that. I want my kidney back. I think he's within his rights. I think it should be his.

[Freddy]

Maybe the judge will see it your way, but I don't see that happening.

[Brady]

Is this gonna have to go before a judge? Oh, yeah. Some kind of arbitrary proceedings. Well, the divorce part, yeah.

[Freddy]

If he. If she's making more dough than him, he's entitled to.

[Brady]

You know, I. I got divorced in 2005. These guys are still fighting. I guess they got a couple kids, too.

[Freddy]

That's a good Example.

[Brady]

You know how this is going to end, right? Badly. He's going to carve it out. He's going to snap and carve his own kidney out. Then do what? Throw it against the wall?

[Freddy]

No, just.

[Brady]

She can't have it. If he can't have it, no one can.

[Freddy]

He'll buy one of those hospital.

[Brady]

He's gonna carve it out of her. I think he's right. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think that's absolutely. You know, screw her. I don't. Without that kidney, she doesn't keep jumping.

[Freddy]

To conclusions because we don't. You know, there's always two sides to the case.

[Brady]

No, there's not. She cheated. And she. She owes that guy everything she needed to be kidney.

[Freddy]

She wouldn't be able to cheat.

[Brady]

She'd have been. She would have been too ugly to cheat because she'd have been a sickie.

[Freddy]

Sure.

[Brady]

That kidney gave her the power to cheat again, and she cheated. She owes him that kidney. Just as an apology, she should step up and give the kidney. I see where you're going. I'm kind of agreeing, don't you think? Oh, yeah. She should have been on her knees every night pleasing that man. Now, maybe he wasn't a good husband. Maybe he was one of those guys that, you know, wasn't all that nice to her. But I don't care. She still blew it. She. She needs to step up to the plate and say, here's your kidney back. You're right. I don't think.

[Freddy]

I don't know if he can give it back.

[Brady]

Then give him the money. Why couldn't you give it back? Why is a kidney 1.5 million?

[Freddy]

She'd have to find another. You know what she could do is maybe you go this angle saying, since you're moving on. Yeah. You return that kidney and use your new lover's kidney.

[Brady]

If he's a man. Exactly. Get this guy you cheated on. He must have better kidneys than me. Give me mine back and use his. Guy said everybody says that. Siding with the guy. He gave his wife his kidney. That's not his wife anymore. It's no longer a gift. Kidney. That's a kidney in some jackass. Get it back.

[Freddy]

Won't happen.

[Brady]

I think it's great. Oh, you don't think? I think she's gonna end up having to pay. Who sees this the other way? Who sees it like, well, you know, you're not gonna get anything for your trouble.

[Freddy]

Well, it's not. Seen it the other Way I don't see them. You wouldn't want your stuff on that.

[Brady]

Really? I think he'll get it. I think he's gonna get it.

[Freddy]

Not when it comes down to that. It was a gift.

[Brady]

You wouldn't want your kidney back?

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Freddy]

You're probably angry. I mean, I understand him being upset. And it's like, that's it. I saved your life. Give me my kidney back.

[John Holmberg]

Don't give me back my kidney.

[Freddy]

Be realistic. It won't happen.

[Brady]

Then give me the money. Pay me.

[Freddy]

Maybe he can get something for this.

[Brady]

This new boyfriend of yours has two kidneys. I have one. And now I've got to pay you, like, alimony or I've got to pay for this divorce on top of it all. No, you take this kid and give me my kidney back and we'll call this even.

[Freddy]

You know, getting technical again. I don't know if they're. I'm sure you could find a doctor that would. Sure, they'd have some ethic problems. Yeah.

[Brady]

Taking a kidney out of somebody.

[Freddy]

Yeah, maybe Kidney is not the.

[Brady]

On a vacation to Cancun or something.

[Freddy]

There you go.

[Brady]

And then now you're risking your own kidney. I say she just has to take it out. She can't have it either. It has to be thrown away.

[Freddy]

They won't touch that kidney.

[Brady]

Has to be.

[Freddy]

You know, his only shot is compensation financially.

[Brady]

And you. And would you fight for that too? You're a moral guy. See, I'm not. So I. I think maybe one of those deals where it's like, maybe it's just my immorality in this situation that I think she owes. Do you. Would you just walk away from that? Unbelievable. You'd take it. Eric's back. I know what you'd do. You'd probably get it out of her before the divorce papers. I didn't hear the situation. What happened? The dude gave his kidney to his ex wife four years ago and then finds out four years later she's cheating on him. Now that she's healthy, she was about to die. He hands over and they're getting divorced. He wants his kidney back. Or he wants a million and a half dollars. That's hilarious. It's awesome. You'd take it back if you gave Lisa your kidney and then she's boning some dude now that she's healthy and pretty again. But you get the money at least. Yeah, I'd try to get money. No, not after it's been in that. Who knows what it's got. Not Lisa. Not Lisa. Of course I'm talking.

[Freddy]

I guess I have a regulation if or a time frame if she got the kidney and two weeks later she's out there farming it out.

[Brady]

You've got a 90 back.

[Freddy]

She had that?

[Brady]

Yeah, 90 day money back guarantee. Okay it so there's a warranty on your stuff.

[Dean]

Freddy, you don't have to worry.

[Brady]

You're not going to be donating to anybody. No, none of your organs are going to go. That's a good point.

[Freddy]

You kidding me? I got a titanium kidney now.

[Brady]

How about that? You're laying in your deathbed. Everything hurts. We found a donor. Hey everybody. Oh God.

[Dean]

I'm not going to make it.

[Brady]

This guy's donating something. Yeah, it's covered in Crisco. You'll love it. Everything tastes like bacon since I met him.

[Freddy]

You'll crave bacon.

[Brady]

Just crave bacon. That's it.

[Dean]

It's out of control now.

[Show Narrator]

98. Okay, you PD.