Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show

Episode: 02-18-26 - FULL SHOW - WEDNESDAY
Date: February 18, 2026
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

Overview

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness delivers a classic blend of irreverent humor, raunchy banter, weird news, animal stories, and signature local flavor. With technical glitches sidelining the morning Brady Report early, the crew riffs on oddball current events, military news, pop culture, aging, bodily mishaps, celebrity gossip, and bizarre listener calls. True to form, the hosts drop plenty of lowbrow puns, crude jokes, and tongue-in-cheek social commentary, ensuring sustained energy and belly laughs. It’s a wild, unfiltered ride made for diehard fans and fresh listeners alike.

Key Segments & Highlights

1. The Brady Report Rebooted: Optimus Prime in Uniform & War Oddities

Starts around 02:00

• Military has a real “Optimus Prime”:
  An Ohio National Guard soldier legally changed his name to Optimus Prime and is now being deployed – prompting jokes about the U.S. being “guaranteed to win” with a Transformer on their side.

  • Brady: “There’s a soldier from the Ohio National Guard. And his name is Optimus Prime…he just got called up for active duty. Optimus Prime is going to the Gulf to protect the world.” (02:15)
  • John: “If we can goof around and do stuff like that, this will be over by Sunday afternoon.” (03:04)

• Satirical Saddam Plans:
  Faux list of Saddam Hussein’s "top weekend plans," including "Duck," a cameo on "Iraqi Idol," and "book room on eighth level of hell," complete with over-the-top jokes about dictator dating ads.

• Wartime Absurdities:
  Coverage of British Navy’s beer rations and Kuwaiti moguls’ camel milk parties while bombs fall.

  • John: “Our guys can’t get toilet paper and the Brits have a bar…because they don’t have to do any fighting. They just follow us.” (04:31)
  • Brady: Details Kuwaiti businessmen partying with "jam sandwiches and warm camel milk." (04:41)

• Mocked War-Related Products:
  For $8, listeners can send a white flag or a plastic bag of “dog poopy” to embassies, or buy “Saddam Soap on a Rope,” with plenty of jokes about its intended uses.

  • John: “So you can rub Saddam’s face all over your groin while you’re cleaning yourself. You’re killing two birds with one stone right there.” (06:19)

2. Topical Gags & Oddball News

02:00–17:00

• Anti-War ‘Vomit-In’ in San Francisco:
  Protesters block traffic by vomiting in the streets to show opposition to the Iraq War. John jokes: “Round them up and send them over. They’ll be yakking over there, that’s for sure.” (07:07)

• Big Mac Addict Don Gorski:
  A man eats his 19,000th Big Mac after 32 years, totals including “594 lbs of cheese and 15 cows” (07:36)

• Wild Infidelity Story in Italy:
  Cops bust a man’s missing wife at a hotel in a compromising situation. John: “He was immediately hired by a professional baseball team.” (08:31)

• The ‘God Fish’ That Warned of The Apocalypse:
  In New York, a carp “talks” in Hebrew, is slaughtered, and eaten—sparked wild community reactions and beliefs it was either God or Satan in fish form.

  • John lampoons the situation with a heavy Yiddish accent and sarcasm. (09:26–10:10)

• Disease Spotlight: Fish Odor Syndrome:
  Brady presents “Trimethylaminuria,” a disorder making sufferers reek of fish. John: “Ew...Amanda sweats a lot, but she doesn't stink. Her sweat smells good.” (11:05)

• Kenya Outhouse Tragedy:
  Multiple men die retrieving a cell phone from a latrine (13:17).

  • John: “They all died in the feces. The first one went down a ladder into the stinky pit and never came back. Even after the three men died...a fourth guy was going in, but police stopped him.”

3. Morbid Aging Humor & Redneck Mishaps

24:27–32:00

• World’s Oldest Woman Attributes Longevity to Bacon:
  The hosts riff on the 114-year-old’s “crispy bacon” claim, with hilarious speculation about elderly lifestyles and bad breath.

  • John: “If bacon makes you live to be 114, I’m never eating another piece of bacon again. That just sounds miserable.” (25:45)
  • Brady: “And she looks all right!”
  • The crew debates when one should “get in the box and wait for the sweet release of death,” with plenty of dark satire.

• Redneck News:
  Scuffle at a rodeo after teens don’t stand up for "Proud To Be An American" (14:50), with musings on “phony patriotism.”

4. Divorce and Organ Donation Debate

33:00–41:00

• If You Give a Kidney to Your Wife and She Leaves You...
  The show runs with the real-life legal spat of Richard Batista, who gave his wife a kidney before she left him for another man.
  • John: “That’s your kidney in there keeping her alive. You get that back, right?” (34:05)
  • Brady (more measured): “Nope... the judge isn’t giving that.”
  • The panel debates financial compensation, organ “warranties,” and darkly comic revenge options.

5. Guest Call-Ins & Story Time

18:23–24:27

• Legendary ‘Taint Accident’ and Lifeguard Mishap:
  “Dean Movie and his magical taint” calls in with injury stories:
  • Lost bike seat, impaling himself, and lifeguard turtlehead embarrassment.
  • John: “You found out what it’d be like to be gay. Well, then you found that out later, though.” (20:04)
  • Ends with, “Please call if you hurt yourself again." Classic show camaraderie and gross-out storytelling.

6. Celebrity/B-List Prank Interviews – “Heidi and Spencer” from ‘The Hills’

56:59–64:34

• Tongue-in-Cheek Hostility:
  The “Johnny Midnight in the Ass” segment mock-interviews Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt.
  • Banter about nudity in Playboy, Jesus “timing the issue,” and constant references to “douche” products.
  • Ass: “Are you the dude responsible for not flashing those fun bags your girlfriend has in Playboy?” (59:06)
  • The interview devolves into gags about make-a-wish, cancer, and playful jabs about dignity, escalating until the hosts “terminate” the interview in mock indignation.

7. ‘Stump Billy Pratt’ Trivia & Top 10s

110:00 onward

• Long-running shtick where “Billy Pratt,” a bombastic radio character, invites trivia questions, tells tall tales from his supposed autobiography, and riffs with callers.
  • Jokes about welding accidents, giving away Jack Daniel’s trivia
  • “Top 10 Things You’ll Never Hear the Pope Say”—heavy on irreverence:
    • “Damn, I forgot to tape Sex in the City.”
    • “So this Polack walks into a nudie bar…”

8. Animal News – Brady’s “Wild America”/“Wild World”

70:41 onward, scattered throughout

• Dead-on Animal Impressions (and animal chaos):
  • Story of a puppy-tossing carjacker (72:18)
  • Elephant escapes a Mexican circus, is killed in a bus accident
  • Escaped lion attacks a woman/child on a donkey ("Why put the donkey in that situation?!" [78:43])
  • Pandas attacking zoo visitors, debate on whether to euthanize dangerous animals (82:10)
  • John and Brady riff on groundhogs, animal mating calls, and “the best groundhog impression in all the valley."
    • “Give me a cigarette!” groundhog bit (93:56)

9. Listener Conspiracies – “The Island of Dead Superstars”

96:02–107:53

• Callers claim celebrities like Tupac, Biggie & Elvis are alive on a tropical island.
  • John: “So you think there’s an island of misfit toys for rappers?...” (96:48)
  • The show runs wild, spinning the “Island of Fame” lore, sarcastically expanding its roster to Buddy Holly, Payne Stewart, etc.
  • Call-in: “If John Denver had the pilots thing locked up, is Kennedy Jr. giving the scuba lessons?” (106:39)

Best Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “If we can goof around and do stuff like that, this will be over by Sunday afternoon.”
  – John, on sending ‘Optimus Prime’ to the Gulf [03:04]

• “So you can rub Saddam’s face all over your groin while you’re cleaning yourself. You’re killing two birds with one stone.”
  – John, on Saddam Soap [06:19]

• “You'll shoot your brown eye out.”
  – John, riffing on Dean’s taint injury [20:29]

• “If bacon makes you live to be 114, I’m never eating another piece of bacon again. That just sounds miserable.”
  – John, on the world’s oldest woman [25:45]

• “She should have been on her knees every night pleasing that man. Now, maybe he wasn’t a good husband. Maybe he was one of those guys that, you know, wasn’t all that nice to her. But I don’t care. She still blew it.”
  – John, on organ-donation-divorce [37:31]

• “You’re throwing puppies at people. The man throwing the puppies is Satan!”
  – John, on criminal defense tactics [73:47]

• “If you have the gall to start diddling around at 85, you’re not doing anything productive anymore... Hope dies at 85, so so should you. No 90-year-old’s working on something going, ‘I’m almost finished!’”
  – John, on an “ideal age limit” [29:09]

• “If John Denver had the pilots thing locked up, is Kennedy Jr. giving the scuba lessons?”
  – Listener, on the island of dead celebrities [106:39]

Structure & Flow

• Opening (00:00–02:00): Brief sponsor reads & explanation of early-morning tech issues.
• Brady’s News & Satire (02:00–17:00): War humor, oddball news, animal quirks.
• Guest Calls and Comedy (18:23–24:27): Listener stories & ongoing inside jokes.
• Aging, Morbidity, and Redneck America (24:27–32:00): Social commentaries laced with sarcasm.
• Divorce and Organ Donation Debate (33:00–41:00): Real legal case, dark and hilarious back-and-forth.
• Celebrity Mock Interview (56:59–64:34): Parody-heavy, escalating absurdism.
• Stump Billy Pratt (110:00+): Shtick-heavy trivia game and made-up “autobiographical” wisdom.
• Wild America/World (Scattered): Brady’s animal stories and impressions, John’s sardonic add-ons.
• Call-in Conspiracy (96:02–107:53): Playful interrogation of the “Island of the (Dead) Famous.”
• Show Close: Farewells, reminders, and more local style.

Tone & Language

• Extremely informal, full of sarcasm, blue humor, and Arizona-centric pop culture references.
• Unfiltered, off-the-cuff, intentionally groan-worthy puns, and plenty of self-deprecating banter.
• Often bounces rapidly between satirical “news,” call-ins, and wild improvisation.

For New Listeners

This episode is a microcosm of HMS—intelligent idiocy, local color, and fearless comedy. You don’t need the day’s headlines to follow along. If you enjoy unpolished, rapid-fire banter, lowbrow puns, gallows humor about old age and bodily functions, and a Dadaist approach to morning radio, you’re in for a wild ride.

Note: Ad segments, show openers/closers, and heavily repeated sponsor mentions have been skipped in this summary.