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You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.
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This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with a name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it@progressive.com, progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.
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The best of home birth's morning sickness. This is the Big Red radio. All right, let's get this over with. I'm out of here. It's the Billy Pratt show starting right now. Shall we bring him in? I guess. Come on. Bring him on in, Billy. Here we go, baby. I love it. I love it. I love it. I gotta tell you what. I'm back and better than ever today, baby. The superintendent of schools is in the house, and I'm excited because I'm almost finished with my book. Oh, really? I gotta tell you what. I'm writing a book about things that have happened to me over the years. Like the first words I ever spoke. Billy, are you gonna share some stories today? You know what? I don't want to do that. Nobody wants to do that. One time at the Christmas party there, J.J. jeffries bought a girl over, and I was talking to her, and he's the boss here at kpd, we're talking about some things. And. And I told her I didn't know who she was dating and stuff. And Parrot's here also. She was over there with me. I can't see. There's parent. That parent and I were talking. I kind of let her in on the fact that I thought JJ dated a few whores.
C
Sure did.
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Turns out it was JJ's date. That's one of the stories in there. Talbot never liked him much. Gonna talk about that a little bit. I got some things in there. Some of the stories about me And Mukluk. One time playing basketball, when Mukluk covered me in feces on a land. It was an odd move. And I ended up. We had. We had to get the jaws of life to get me out of there. It was unbelievable. That was unbelievable stuff. His tablets still work here? Yeah, he does, Billy. Can somebody answer this question? Why, anybody? Supervillain. That's right. Anybody familiar with that? I'm not sure. There's plenty of talented people out there. He certainly isn't one of them. Is this okay? I'm just checking. I just want to make sure. I just don't understand it, you know? Talbot is just one of those guys that just thinks the world owes him something, and it's not true. That's right. I gotta tell you, thanks, Karen, for being there for me. Talbot. Talbot. I heard him. The reason I say this, because I heard him talking about me on the air. None of it was favorable. None of it. I mean, I'm not. I'm not mad at the guy. I'm a little disappointed. But I'll tell you what. He gave out my home address. What's that about? Superintendent of school's not happy today. Thank you very much. I knew Karen would be here for me. I knew it all. Brady, you're looking good today. Thanks, Billy. How you feeling today? Feel good today, Billy. I'm gonna take Talbot's trend. You think you could run this thing if Talbot wasn't here? I don't know. He's very talented. I don't know about that. I think you're snowed over by that JJ character. You know JJ does drugs. Oh, lots of drugs. Oh, yeah. Hi. JJ's a big cokehead. Hi, there. Who's this?
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This is Jeremy.
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Jeremy, how are you? The smartest man.
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Oh, pretty good.
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That's good to be here. You know, it's odd to be here at KUPD right now because everybody's not getting along. It's tough to be in the building. There's some people here just frankly, crapping on people. And I don't know why it is. It all stems from leadership. Is everything okay? It rolls from the top. No, I gotta tell you what. J.J. stands in that window and stares at me all day. I don. It. I don't know why it's all gonna be in your book, though. It'll be in my book exactly how I. How I beat KUPD into the ground. I've been writing that book 15 years. I tell you what. There's a lot to mention. That's why. Especially about the time where I had parrot jammed up in orifice. Also, that was pretty fun. Let's get to the questions here. Stop the Superintendent of skills. What's your question there, brother?
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Okay. In the morning, there's a show on the radio called the Morning Sickness.
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Never heard of it.
D
And there's three radio personalities. Okay, which one sucks the worst?
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Holy cow.
D
Is it A, John Holberg. B, Brady Bogan.
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Yeah.
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Or C, Bo Duran. And there's D. None of the other. Both.
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I gotta tell you. You know what? Now, I used to. I used to compete against these guys. And I absolutely. I absolutely didn't know anything about them. And now that I know them, I gotta tell you. What? What a funny group. I gotta tell you, I used to be up against them, so I never had a chance. But now I get a chance. I'm addicted. I gotta admit it. And people have told me, billy, I've been addicted to you for a long time. I'm addicted. Now I gotta tell you. What. I am completely into them. So I don't think any of them suck so much except Bo. Exactly. You got it exactly right. Right there. Thanks, Billy. You don't want anything, Billy. Get nothing. Hey, I get something. Cuz if I don't deserve it, someone else might. All right, let's go to the phones. I'm not sure how that goes. Thanks for calling. Not mad at you, just a little upset with the simplicity of your question. All right, Bye. Bye. You want to check in with West? We'll check in West Hollywood. Bob, I heard he wasn't out there yet. I heard he got detoured by somebody. No, he just called in. He's out there. All right, we'll get to West Hollywood right after we get the line for you. Einer. Who's this?
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This is Darnell.
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Darnell, how you feeling? Darnell? That's right. Oh, my goodness.
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And I know how to spell you, mother.
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No, she called me a Thruster. That was close. All right, there. How are you this morning, baby, here's my question. All right?
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I'm gonna stump your ass.
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All right, you try it. I don't think you can.
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In what US State is it illegal to sell vibrators?
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Wow. Are you okay? Do you know this firsthand knowledge that you've been to. You can't buy a vibrator of this state because you were a desperate need. Yeah. Is that true? Hell, yeah, baby. How hard up were you?
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I would never travel without mine.
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All right, all right. So there's one state I do know that you cannot have sex. Toys. And I don't know if vibrators are included in that. And that's the biggest reason I got. Parents. Tell you what. I was in the great state of Texas and I needed to jam something in there, like right quick. And I needed it right then and there. My prostate was itchy, if you know what I'm saying. There's nothing better to scratch a prostate than a parent beak. So I'm going to say I know that sex toys are at a limit in Texas.
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That is correct.
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All right. Good job, Billy.
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Doesn't it?
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What's that?
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It makes sense, doesn't it?
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It does make sense. I tell you what. Because you know why? Things.
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You can have a shotgun.
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Yeah. You can just use all sorts of things. A lot of things sticking up straight out of the ground in Texas you could sit on. All right, we'll talk to you in just a little bit. Okay.
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Can you spell vibrator?
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I can't. You? Actually, I'm dyslexic. Vibrator. Everything I spell comes out Talbot. I don't know why. I got. I'm kind of addicted to the idea of hating that guy. All right, we'll talk to you later. Love you. Bye. Bye. Thank you very much. You've been drinking anything today? I haven't had anything to drink, actually. You know what? I gotta let you guys in on something. This will be revealed in my book as well. You guys think I'm a wild party animal. That's right. I gotta let you in a little secret. Oh, really? You bought me a beer the other night. Yeah, I had to throw it away.
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You did?
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Billy, I thought I saw you pouring it all over yourself. Nah, I did. I did that. I dump it on myself. I drink apple juice instead. I don't drink. I'm a liar. That's right. I gotta tell you. What? I lie about things. I lie about things so people like me. That's the way it works in my business. I tell you what. Hey, live Billy Prattville's. We're going right out there. West Hollywood. Bob is out in the big red miana this morning. Where are you this morning? West Hollywood. Hey, Billy.
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We're out here in the dirt field on the Indian reservation. I'm hanging out with a bunch of kids by my side. We're giving away. We're giving away T shirts.
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I tell you what. And I'm proud of the Res for getting out there. And I'll tell you. We'll send you out the Biata. But if it's not a good location, we're not going back.
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No shame, baby.
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All right. I just want to throw that out there. Thanks. West Hollywood, out in the nerd field this morning. All right, another question here. We'll call it quits on round one. Hi there. Who's this this morning? Sup with Billy Pratt?
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Hey, this is the Dr. Prick.
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Dr. Prick. How are you this morning? Go right ahead. What's your question, brother?
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All right. In dentistry, what is the name of the front and the back of any tooth?
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The front and the back of any tooth. Dentistry? I don't know. Well, I have a clinic. I should know this.
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That's why I asked.
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I'm gonna say frontis Bacchus Holmberg's morning sickness. Hear the words you say sometimes.
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I mean, who talks like that?
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This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it@progressive.com, progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.
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It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. Time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins dot com. Another satisfied listener called TV's Doug Hopkins and sold her home for cash.
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She reached out.
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Her name's Ashley. And Doug wants to make it simple. Buy your house for cash. As is, you don't have to do anything. Just like Ashley, no strings attached. If he moves that price, you get $5,000. Want to sell that place? Start the process online@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing.
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Hopkins 1-800-now. Holmberg's morning sickness. Oh, what's on the tooth? Wait a minute. Brady just pointed the question out to me and said that I misunderstood. Ask it again.
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What is the front and the back of the tooth that the biological name form called?
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I have no idea. We'll go with the obvious. Just. It's enamel on it. I don't know what the front and back's called, but you tell me.
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Okay. The front is called the buccal and the back or the inside of your teeth is called the lingual.
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The ringworm lingual. The what?
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The lingual.
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Oh, the lingual. I didn't understand you there. Nice job. I guess you stumped the superintendent of school. I had no idea. What the hell? That's. I don't know if that's right.
D
That's right.
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Parents calling BS if you don't deserve it, someone Else probably might. All right.
D
Thanks, man.
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Hang on just a second. You stump the superintendent of schools. I don't know how they do it. They come up with these questions. I have a venereal disease. I don't know where that parrot comes up with this stuff. I gotta be honest with you. He just hears this stuff out of the blue. That's right. Nat's gonna check. Right. Before we get into some more stuff here, it's time to check KUPD info with our own parrot. Well, he got accident injury on the southbound from a mile. And that's traffic. That's right. That's a damn smart parrot, I gotta tell you. More stuff in the front coming up. It's keeping right here. Not. AKA it's the last of Homburg's morning sickness. I'm 98 KUPD. All right. I got a lot of these welding things. Evidently, a lot of folks showed up to help weld today. Billy, did you ever weld back in your.
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In the day?
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I've done some story in the book. I actually welded my. My schwanns to my midsection once. Accidentally. Yeah, it was. It wasn't really with a welding gun, per se. You ever go to sleep a little bit, you know, sleepy, and you still please yourself and you get it all over your, you know, your guts pretty much, is what I'm saying, that you wake up. Is that in your book? It'll be in my book. That and the time that the sheets ended up stuck to me for a week. I was trapped in my bed for about a year. People thought I was actually like Brian Wilson. I just couldn't get out of bed. It was different. Totally different. All right, we're ready to play stop. Billy Pratt. If I don't slice my wrist open at all these little welding things. We got line four here first. Try to stop the superintendent of school today. All right. Who's this?
D
This is Joe.
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Joe. How are you this morning, brother? Pretty good. How you doing? I'm doing just fine. Let's have it.
D
All right. Jack Daniels bottle.
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Yep.
D
On the very front, it states Lynchburg, Tennessee.
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Yeah. Where.
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Where it's made.
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Right.
D
And the population's on there. And the population has been the same for years. What's the population?
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Will you give me a few? Like you give or take a couple here, There.
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No, it's kind of small, so I won't.
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Okay, I'm gonna. Well, I'm gonna miss it by at least a few, I'm sure. I think five. Give you five. Give me five. Either way. I'm thinking it's 187 for some reason.
D
You want to try again?
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Okay. My way off. Hot or cold?
D
I'm not giving you too many.
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All right, try another one there. Oh, geez. I was just in there. Let's see if West Hollywood. Well, we can't do that. How about. I'll just go around 200. I want to say 87 for some reason. 287.
D
361.
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361. Well, that's not right.
D
Oh, that's exactly right.
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All right, we'll give you that one. You stuff, Billy Pratt. I guess population hasn't changed in Lynchburg for over 100 years. Every time a kid is born, a man leaves town.
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Either that or they move to Georgia.
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That's right. Or they just. They just get thrown in the vat and become some of the ingredients. There you go, Gentleman Jack. I love that stuff, too. I pour apple juice in those bottles, too, and dump all over myself because. Wild. Hang on a second. All right, Billy, do you have a top 10 list today for us? You know what? I don't think I do, do I? I don't know, but I have a top 10 list. I didn't come prepared, baby. Top 10 things you're never gonna hear our pope say. Okay, Billy, number 10. Billy the Pope. Now, just picture the Pope, okay? That's part of the joke. I'll set it up for some of the slower folks listening. The Pope is a Catholic guy, I understand. Wears a big hat, all right? He's gonna top 10 things you'll never hear the Pope say. Here we go. See that little blonde cutie? The fifth pew? He's mine. Nothing. Do it. All right. Got everybody. Hey, that's the top 10 things you'll never hear the Pope say. Got somebody online, they're just waiting. All right, here's another one. I agree, J. Lo's got a nice ass, but I like the boobies. Here's another one. Never gonna hear the Pope say, top 10 things you'll never hear the Pope say. Damn, I forgot to tape Sex of the City. Let's. Let's. All right, here's a good one. At the end, we'll close with this one. Top 10 things. This will be the top four. Number one. Top 10 things you'll never hear the pope say. So this Pollock walks into a nudie bar. Nothing. All right, never mind. Okay. Wow. Those top tens are gold. I tell you what, you guys. You guys don't like them, but I just looked out at the I'd said people are pulling over. I gotta tell you what. It's good stuff. All right. Final question today at stuff. Billy Pratt going live. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know. And I'm the only one with courage enough to do that. Hi, there. Who's this?
D
Hey. This is Jeff.
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How you doing?
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I'm good, Jeff. How are you?
D
We're good.
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What are the chances, Hexamer? All right, go ahead.
D
What are the chances here? Let's see. We're gonna stump you again. We're gonna see how good you are.
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All right, Hexamer, Come on now.
D
Okay. In the original movie Disney, here for you. The original 101 Dalmatians.
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There's 101 of them. All right. What about win? That's right. Stump you, baby. I beat you to the.
D
Okay. 101 Dalmatians. The very first original movie from Walt Disney.
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Right.
D
How many. What was the number of spots used in the whole movie on all the Dalmatians?
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One.
D
You're way off.
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101. Good job, Billy. That's right.
D
And I'll give you a leeway of 50,000.
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50,000? There were over 2 million dots.
D
You still lay off.
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No, I'm not.
D
Oh, yeah, you are.
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No, I'm not.
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But what am I?
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I don't lose two in a row there, brother. Hexamer, how many were there?
D
6,469,952.
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And I gotta be honest with you. I don't think he got this out of any book or anything. We know Jeff pretty well. My guess is he counted. He had some spare time. In the end, you stopped me. Hang on just a second there. We'll get you something, all right? I call a little bit of crap on that one. Who's gonna know that for sure? I agree with you, Billy. How's West Hollywood doing? Let's check in with West Hollywood One. West Hollywood. What's going on out there, brother?
D
Hey, Billy, it's just good to be out here with all these future casino employees. We're just hanging out. We're having a good time. I've seen so many people from my AA meetings. It's great out here. We're having a good time.
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But, hey, by the way, Billy, I.
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Got a DUI last week. So I might be coming from 10 City Live next week. Good news there, buddy.
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Something I can do? He's so smart. Talk to you later. All the future casino employees. What the hell's he talking about out there? Hey, you know what? The difference is between a 500 pound buffalo. Never mind. I just tell you that. Oh, I'm gonna go out. I rented a movie for the kids today. It's called Batman. I've never heard of it. Batman. It's about the superhero. It's the Batman. We're gonna do that just a little bit. And speaking of it. All right, let's get out of here, shall we?
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Atomic batteries to power.
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Turbines to speed. Tight. That's right. I love that show for the tights. I gotta tell you what, I loved it when Burt Ward slipped those tights on. You could tell what religion he was. He was a tripod. You could see it. That guy was huge. What was your highlight of the show, Bo? Oh, it was you, Billy. Thank you, Brady. I just love the location of where West Hollywood Bob was at. I thought I did a good job there too. Larry, what was your highlight? I. I really liked Bon Jovi. I just called the parrot Larry for some reason. I have no idea why. I enjoyed all the Bon Jovi that I played shows myself because JJ doesn't know what the hell he's up to. All right, that's it for us. We're out of here. Chuck. Boom. Coming up in a little bit. You get right in. Naughty. Dang you, Petey. Prepare the sun's most powerful rocket. It's out of control now.
C
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with a name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.
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It's John Holmberg here. Time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and doughotkins.com I got an email from someone who told me that he wants to sell his house because he has to move for work. Got a new job and it starts in February, so he needs to vacate quickly. And in this particular case, this guy can leave Arizona with cash from his home and be free and clear to start a new do in his next location. That is peace of mind, no matter what the situation. Doug makes selling your house so easy, it's hard to imagine going anywhere else. And he backs it up with a $5,000 guarantee. Start the process@doughopkins.com and grab that phone and sing.
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Hopkins. 1-800-sale now.
This episode is a special segment of Holmberg's Morning Sickness titled "Stump Billy Pratt," where the character Billy Pratt—portrayed with a brash, over-the-top radio persona—takes calls from listeners who try to stump him with oddball trivia questions. The atmosphere is loose, irreverent, and loaded with banter, classic jokes, and owner in-jokes typical for KUPD’s morning show. Holmberg and the rest of the crew (Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo) join in the rowdy, improv-laden fun, with Billy riffing on personal stories, feuds, and pop-culture references.
“Talbot is just one of those guys that just thinks the world owes him something, and it’s not true. … I gotta tell you, thanks, Karen, for being there for me, Talbot.” — Billy Pratt (02:00)
“There’s one state I do know that you cannot have sex toys. … That’s the biggest reason I got. … I was in the great state of Texas and I needed to jam something in there like right quick.” — Billy Pratt (06:09)
“I have a venereal disease. I don’t know where that parrot comes up with this stuff. I gotta be honest with you.” — Billy Pratt (10:23)
“I’ve seen so many people from my AA meetings. It’s great out here.” — West Hollywood Bob (16:25)
“See that little blonde cutie? The fifth pew? He’s mine.” — Billy Pratt as “the Pope” (13:32)
“Damn, I forgot to tape Sex and the City.” — Billy Pratt (13:42)
“There’s some people here just frankly, crapping on people. And I don’t know why it is. It all stems from leadership. … J.J. stands in that window and stares at me all day.” — Billy Pratt (03:36)
“I drink apple juice instead. I don’t drink. I’m a liar. That’s right. I gotta tell you. What? I lie about things. I lie about things so people like me.” — Billy Pratt (07:18)
“I actually welded my schwanns to my midsection once. Accidentally.” — Billy Pratt (11:12)
“You ever go to sleep a little bit, you know, sleepy, and you still please yourself and you get it all over your… guts pretty much?” (11:14)
This “Stump Billy Pratt” segment showcases the best of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness: rapid-fire humor, biting satire of radio culture, listener engagement with offbeat trivia, and the gleeful chaos of morning drive radio. Whether or not you know the answers, you’re laughing all the way through—at Billy, with Billy, and sometimes in spite of Billy.
For anyone who missed it: You don’t need to be a regular KUPD listener to enjoy the absurdist ride and wild chemistry of the crew. Expect plenty of laughs, old-school radio bits, and a parade of irreverent moments that make the show Arizona’s #1 morning choice.