02-19-25 - Natives Want Footprint Renamed After Them - 16 Women Now Accuse Justin Tucker Of Sexual Misconduct And Diddy Makes Admission - Egyptian Tomb Unearthed For First Time In 100yrs - Husband Knocks Up Wife's IVF Surrogate

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona | Episode Summary (February 19, 2025)

Hosts:

• Dick Toledo
• Bret Vesely
• Brady Bogen
• Dick Toledo

Air Date: February 19, 2025

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1. Renaming the Footprint Center After Native American Tribes

[00:30 – 05:00]

Dick Toledo initiates a heated discussion regarding the proposed renaming of the Footprint Center to honor Native American tribes. He expresses frustration over the complexities involved in naming a public venue after specific tribes, citing inter-tribal tensions as a significant barrier.

"We as whites treat the Native American community the way we used to treat Asia... They’re basically the Red Housewives of Arizona." [03:00]

The conversation delves into the challenges of recognizing and honoring individual tribes without causing disputes among them. Bret Vesely and Brady Bogen contribute by questioning the feasibility and sincerity behind such renaming efforts.

2. Justin Tucker Accusations of Sexual Misconduct

[05:00 – 17:00]

A major segment focuses on the 16 accusations of sexual misconduct leveled against Justin Tucker, the renowned kicker for the Baltimore Ravens. Dick Toledo vehemently criticizes Tucker's actions, drawing parallels to other high-profile athletes who faced similar allegations.

"Justin Tucker of the Baltimore Ravens at 16... He's up for Desean's numbers." [07:00]

The hosts discuss the potential impact of these accusations on Tucker's career, comparing his situation to that of Tiger Woods and Trevor Bauer, who faced personal and professional setbacks following their controversies. The conversation is marked by strong opinions and a critical stance toward Tucker's behavior, emphasizing accountability and the consequences of misconduct.

3. Egyptian Tomb Unearthed After a Century

[17:00 – 25:00]

Shifting gears, the hosts explore the recent discovery of an Egyptian tomb unearthed for the first time in 100 years. Dick Toledo humorously critiques the efficiency of modern archaeological methods, expressing skepticism about the prolonged time it took to locate the tomb.

"They found a chamber in 2022 and they just now got to him. Like, come on, pick up that long." [18:33]

The discussion highlights the significance of the find, questioning the historical importance of the newly discovered king, Thutmose III, and the likelihood of uncovering valuable artifacts. The hosts express a mix of amusement and frustration over the excavation process, suggesting that more efficient techniques are needed to expedite such discoveries.

4. Husband Impregnates Wife’s IVF Surrogate

[25:00 – 53:00]

In a controversial and sensitive topic, the hosts narrate the story of a husband who impregnates his wife's IVF surrogate without her knowledge, leading to marital discord. Dick Toledo provides a dramatized and critical account of the ethical and emotional ramifications of such actions.

"He couldn't control it. He deserves hell because that's his biggest fear." [07:00]

The conversation delves into the complexities of In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), highlighting the potential for misuse and the emotional toll it takes on all parties involved. The hosts discuss the legal implications, societal perceptions, and personal betrayals inherent in the situation, emphasizing the importance of trust and ethical conduct in reproductive practices.

5. Diddy’s Admission and Legal Controversies

[32:00 – 38:00]

Diddy, a prominent figure, makes a public admission concerning hiring male escorts, leading to a heated discussion about legal and racial implications. The hosts critique Diddy's defense strategy, suggesting that he is leveraging racial dynamics to mitigate the fallout from his actions.

"Diddy is on the walk of shame... He's playing the race card here." [32:12]

The segment explores the intersection of celebrity, legality, and race, questioning the fairness of the legal system and societal judgments when it comes to high-profile individuals. The hosts express skepticism about Diddy's claims and discuss the broader implications of his admission on his public image and legal standing.

6. Sponsor Message

[36:50 – 38:27]

The episode includes a brief segment promoting Action Ride Shop, announcing their grand opening and upcoming events, including bike demos and giveaway contests.

"ActionRideshop.com for all your details and on the list." [36:58]

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Conclusion:

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness presents a blend of provocative discussions ranging from cultural recognition and celebrity misconduct to significant archaeological discoveries and complex reproductive ethics. The hosts employ a mix of humor, criticism, and candid commentary to engage listeners, maintaining the show's reputation for entertaining and challenging content.

"Holmberg's Morning Sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's Morning Sickness." [53:07]

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Note: The dialogue within this episode contains mature themes and strong language. Listener discretion is advised.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

It's Dick Toledo and new customers right now on FanDuel get $150 in bonus bets when your first $5 wager wins. Just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to grab $150 in college hoops bonus bets with a winning $5 bet and prepare for March on FanDuel America's 1 sportsbook 21 plus in President Arizona first online real money wager only $5 first deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text NEXT STEP to you Thought that was funny. You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? I opened up a can of worms there. Thanks. Miles to nowhere. I got Native American people like crazy emailing me right now going, why don't they name it after us? It's ours. It's as a white bald guy, it's hard to argue with you is yes it is yours, you can have it. But they're like why don't we, you know. First one I saw was from a dude whose last name is Johnson. So I'm not sure he's. But he says what about the Hohoka Marina? Pay homage to the indigenous peoples of the valley. When you do that, then you're gonna piss off the other 20 tribes that are why Hohoka? I hate those pricks. They like you don't realize it. We as whites basically treat the Native American community the way we used to treat Asia. It's just they're oriental. Like we didn't we never. And until they started to say, you know, we hate that, right? Like that's we're not all rugs are Oriental. We're not Oriental. Like this Oriental is trying to tell me not to call them that anymore. And then finally I still older people will still say it and the orientals and this and that. But that's not how it is. We do that with the Indians too. Until you start getting to know a few and you realize that they're they're basically the Red Housewives of of Arizona. There's some catty bitchiness going on between tribes. Some of them hate each other. Some of them like you name I guarantee you name that stadium downtown the Hohokam Arena. You're going to find out that the Odom Tosh or somebody is mad at them. Like somebody's coming out of the woodwork to say those bastards Slept with my sister. I don't know what they'll yell, but they'll be upset. They all don't get along. We just say Indians. Native Americans, to be precise. Because whitey doesn't really pay attention to the detail.

[Brett]

I wonder if they do the same to us. All the same.

[Dick Toledo]

Whitey's. Look, I don't know what you are, Whitey. Like, how are we asking them to tell the difference?

[Brett]

Yeah, right.

[Dick Toledo]

But we. We just say we think we're doing. It's so gross.

[Unknown]

It's like maybe similar, like to people from Philadelphia, Boston, just because they're. They're tribe. They're. You can be tribal, but I can't tell what.

[Dick Toledo]

But I don't.

[Unknown]

We can't tell.

[Dick Toledo]

I can tell by accents, but I can't tell with Indians.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Dick Toledo]

Maybe they can't either. But if you say Native Americans, as a white person, you feel like you're doing some sort of a service to them. I'm being. I'm patting myself on the back. I'm so progressive. I don't even call them Indians anymore. That's wrong. They're Native Americans. What tribe? Oh, God, I don't know. I never really studied. I'm just trying to look good in front of people. I don't know. I'm the first to admit it. I'm sort of a bigot, and I have no idea what Indian tribe did what to whom. I was never taught that. I don't know anything about it. But I do know from having worked here for 24 years and going to a couple Slayer concerts, Hopies and Navos don't like each other. And there's a couple others in there mixed in.

[Unknown]

They seem to unite for that.

[Dick Toledo]

There's. There's like a peace accord during that. But if you. There's. There's. I don't know that they're. They just don't like each other. So I don't want to hear it when I, you know, from whitey. You're not going to get me to. I don't know, but I know this Hohoka Marina causes trouble with something I probably not even heard of, like the Jambalaya, Catfish tribes. I don't know. There's always. When they did the whole 21 tribes or whatever it is, and the sun stood, paid tribute. Yeah, boy, that drug on for a little while. They had to name all of them.

[Brett]

There was stuff I'd never heard of.

[Dick Toledo]

A couple of mine is like, you know, one of them was called the Footprint Center Tribe. They're Sponsored. I don't know anything about it, and to pretend I do is ridiculous. I say Native American, but I'm lumping you all in. It's the new Oriental and they know it. And it's patronizing and it's awful. And Whitey walks around and acts proud of himself for coming up with a new phrase, but Whitey's wrong. If we cared, we'd call you what you were, but I can't tell. And that's why we all call you Native Americans. If I looked at you lined up seven of them. All right, what tribe do you think this one's from? I'm like, oh, I'm going to fail. I'm going over seven. I might act. I'm just going to say Navajo seven times and get one right. I don't know. And then I'll get emails now saying, well, it's the. You know, these people have red or this. And this person has more hair. It's like Italian women. They've got more hair. That's how I know.

[Unknown]

Sometimes the name maybe, you know, if you hear that.

[Dick Toledo]

Really? What?

[Unknown]

Begay.

[Dick Toledo]

What's that?

[Unknown]

Navajo.

[Dick Toledo]

Are you sure?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

You're positive?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Because the Begay I know is Hopi.

[Unknown]

No.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. Yes, he is.

[Unknown]

I don't know.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, that's right, you don't know. And that's the way to stay whitey. Once you start acting like you know something, you're gonna step in it. You don't know. In fact, I'm gonna start calling them Orientals just so people know that I'm a bigot first. I don't know. These Oriental casinos that are. What do you call them at? I can't. I don't know what to say. You call me Whitey Cracker. Whatever. That makes loads of sense to me. Can you at least give me the grace to understand that I'm the same way with you? I'd rather be respectful and understand your tribe, but I don't. And I'm not gonna fake it. And I'm not gonna fake it, and I'm probably never gonna look into it. So Native American it is. And we're not naming anything after a specific tribe because arrows would be flying all over this city if we did that. There'd be beer bottle fights and arrows and. But it would be kind of cool to have the Indigenous peoples arena and open it up with a Slayer concert. Oh, did you hear that most of the people just east of the 101 just ejaculated? Almost all of them along the 101 on the east side. Indigenous people slayer show. Oh, I just ejaculate. I give land life. That's right. Clean that up. You don't want to leave the land worse than you found it. And if you're spraying that stuff all over, what are you. Justin Tucker of the Natives. He's up to 16 now, and the number is climbing. He's going for Desean's numbers. Justin Tugger of the Baltimore Ravens at 16. And I tingle again down down south. I. It's awesome. And I love that he's also gonna go to hell because that's, like, his biggest fear. Oh, it's so good. So good. And I don't care about your forgiveness, Brady. You beat off on 16 people's beds without asking them. You're going to hell. There's no redemption.

[Unknown]

There's no problem.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. You are not apologetic or a man of God like you constantly say you are. Go sing your opera and beat off on people's beds like you love doing. And you know what's funny? He had a bad year kicking this year for the Ravens. He's automatic. He was great, but much like Tiger woods, and we'll talk about his anniversary in a second. Once you take away the thing he loves, which is beaten off on people's beds unexpectedly and against their will, he couldn't kick anymore. And the same thing happened to Tiger Woods. Once you took away Perkins whores and his and his pain pills, he could barely golf at all. Like, it took him 10 years to figure out how to win a tournament again. When his wife beat the Mojo, beat the Percocet and Perkins waitresses out of him, he couldn't play golf at all. He blamed injuries. My back hurts. No, you had the thing you love the most taken away from you. And it wasn't your family and your kids was whores in parking lots, tossing their tampons out the window in front of TMZ and banging the tar out of them while high as a kite. Justin Tucker's got the same thing. He knew this was coming. Nobody else knew he was coming, but he knew this was coming. And all through the season, he's missing extra points like Justin Tucker was Mr. Automatic, clunking off the uprights, missing 35 yarders. Like, what happened to Justin Tucker? Oh, we'll tell you after the season. Justin Tucker can't make kicks anymore because they took the thing he loves. He took. His hypocrisy has been exposed. And they took the thing he loves the most away, which is ejaculating. On people's bedsheets without them wanting him to.

[Brett]

Does he come back or do they release him?

[Dick Toledo]

It's funny. I get it.

[Brett]

I know, I know.

[Dick Toledo]

Come back or release. It's the big question about Justin Tucker this year. Come back or release? Both. Well, it's all going to happen no matter what anyway. I just love that it's happening to him. It makes me giggle because he's a Raven. And I just love that they have to deal with us and see what happens in September. He's a good kicker.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

If you took away. I mean, Tiger woods was a great golfer.

[Unknown]

He can't make anything would be.

[Dick Toledo]

Look, Tiger woods couldn't hit a ball straight anymore after you took away the Perkins horse. You took away low level waitress from Tiger woods and he was done.

[Unknown]

Took him a couple years.

[Dick Toledo]

Couple years. It took him a long time to get a major.

[Unknown]

Just a tour when I. Yeah, yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Tour wins. Yeah. He could go in the. In that thing in Ohio that Jack Nicklaus started. And fine. Every once in a while he'd. He'd show up, but he wasn't what he was. He was dominant. And until they took the Perkins waitresses away once they did that, you know, you can't have sex with Perkins waitresses in your Escalade anymore in the parking lot. Oh, I don't even want to golf anymore. What's the point if I can't go in there with my Wanamaker trophy and bust nuts all over Abby Sue?

[Unknown]

And the one day he kind of wanted to try it out in la where he drove the Buick off the road.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. And he's going 100 miles. It's sleepy. He was thinking about Perkins, which is probably busted and blew his whole car up at the Genesis Invitational. You can't do that to guys like that. And Justin Tucker's another one, which I just absolutely love. Love every second of it. And every day another couple more going. Yeah. I didn't really want to say anything, but he all over my stuff too, and I asked him not to. Then he gave me like a bible and told me to bless myself. Like, you want some holy water? I give your bed life. Bless you, my sweet. Now clean this up. I'm gonna go out. And those people had to be just repulsed every time Justin Tucker, he's missing kicks. I remember they interviewed him this year. He's like, you're missing an awful lot of kicks. Anything going on, I just leave it in the hands of God. And like, the hands of God, what are you gonna get it all over him too. Knock it off. Quit letting people's hands get in the way.

[Unknown]

It must go around. Or he must have. And it was like, oh, sorry, it was an accident. Because it's in. Why now are they saying, this guy did this on me again?

[Dick Toledo]

I go back to two days ago. There is no accident. You know when that's going to happen.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

You don't sit back. You just tell them, hey, hey, hey, hey. I'm pretty tingly. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And then you apologize. Profile profusely. Once that tummy tingle starts every porn, the guy goes, oh, oh, I'm gonna. And then a few seconds later, he knows when it's gonna happen. It doesn't attack you.

[Unknown]

That's what. But I'm saying that must be his story, because why? And all of a sudden, I mean.

[Dick Toledo]

The only thing I would accept, like.

[Unknown]

Look, this has happened 17 times, and that's just reported.

[Dick Toledo]

That's all we know. And maybe multiple times with each girl. Look, if I'm on my side and somebody's rubbing my bottom and I start getting wood, I'm like, I should ask her to stop, because that's not what this is. And I don't want to go to jail. But the only excuse would be like, I'm asleep and I wake up and go, whoops, did I do that? I totally Urkel the situation. You know when that's happening, wherever he's.

[Unknown]

Going, he's like, I can't do Justin today. You have to cover for me. That's what it was 17 times.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, what happened to the last girl? My name's Jeff. I'm gonna do you today. Oh, all right. If that were true, it would happen with all the guys. And there's never dudes, of course. I guess no guy would ever do that. Yay. All over me, too. It's like, oh, maybe it does. Because then all of a sudden, the narrative changes. It's like, oh, maybe he does have a problem. Maybe Justin getting touched. He just. But come on. Pardon the pun. 16 times. 16 girls. And he's saying, like, I just couldn't control it. Then you shouldn't go. You know how many times it would take me to stop going to massage therapist when I unexpectedly ejaculate to the second time I realized, I can't do this anymore. I'm going to get arrested. 16. I'm probably doing it on purpose. After three, I kind of like. It's like when you discover the spa jets. You know what I'm talking about? Brady's Never. I don't know. You might have the spa jet. No. Are you sure? Yeah. Even the pool you never leaned up against?

[Unknown]

I felt the. I felt the flow. Flow before.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, you have, but I haven't. Yeah, you have. Did. Did you feel the flow to finish?

[Unknown]

No.

[Dick Toledo]

Really? How do you feel the flow and stop all alone in the pool?

[Unknown]

I gotta stop.

[Dick Toledo]

Why?

[Unknown]

Someone might report me.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, you're alone in your own pool?

[Unknown]

Justin Tucker's watch.

[Dick Toledo]

No, don't even try. Why wouldn't you finish that?

[Unknown]

I just didn't.

[Dick Toledo]

Man, that's dumb. You need to give that a run. That hurts no one. And it's great. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. I used to do it at my friend's dad's, but he used to let me watch his house. And he had a hot tub in the back. It could be 130 in the summer. I was in that water leaning up against those. Those bubblers. I would tell Mark, too. Hey, George, going out of town anytime soon? I want to go over and this hot tub again. I'm gonna tell my dad. You do that. Like, I'll beat you to it. I'll leave him a note. I'll send him photos. You know he's doing it too.

[Brett]

Why is it every time John watches my house have to shock the pool?

[Dick Toledo]

Trust me, I did it before. I would clean that thing up a lot, but I would go over there. Is John available to watch the house this weekend? Whatever I had to do, I canceled. I was. I dated George Stebbing's hot tub over there in Chandler. Probably for a year and a half. That thing like crazy. But yeah, once you discover that, you're like, oh, oh. And each time it got a little tougher to do. Because the first time it's like, whoa, if I stand here long, oh, oh, there it is. And then the next time you're like, yeah. Then you expect it. So then it takes a second to find the right angle. Then by like the. In George Stebbing's case, the hundred fiftieth time I was having to do some acrobatics, I had a leg out of the hot tub. I was doing some weird stuff, trying to make it right. Justin TUCKER after, like, 10th time, there were certain things that worked and certain things that didn't. He'd have to tell the new girl, my right buttocks hurts real close to the hole. Well, all right. Yes. Yes. And then. Oops. He knew what he was doing.

[Unknown]

A lot of groin problems.

[Dick Toledo]

If that was a thing where dudes constantly did that during, you know, real sports massage, it would be known. They would tell you, much like a prostate exam, hey, you may release. There may be a thing, and it's not necessarily too pleasant, but it may put pressure and make this happen. Like, oh, okay. They would tell you, like, I understand. It's a sports massage. Occasionally people get really relaxed and they have a moment of euphoria. If that starts to happen, please let me know. They don't ever say it. You have to work for it. And that means Justin's. When she's not looking, he's down there, thumb in the tip, he's doing work. 16 women. Brett's face says it all. And he's gross. Anyway, go get him, Ravens. I'm rooting for 30. We're halfway there. If I had. I have a tote board at my house. It's one of those thermometers when you raise money for dying kids. It's at half right now. Because I want 30. 30 is the goal for this year's fundraiser for how many broads can Justin Tucker have unexpectedly ejaculated? Near.

[Unknown]

Now, what happens if a fall of a sudden, they all 16. It's found he's innocent, they don't get into trouble, Right?

[Dick Toledo]

Well, first off, that won't happen. I know smoke and fire. The ones that are one or two from the case, you can sue them for like, defamation and stuff. But if he's guilty of other stuff, that'd be like, it's. It's. It's my word against theirs. It's just more money out the door. So he probably just hopes it all.

[Brett]

Goes away, but he's still ruined. Just like. Just like Trevor Bauer.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. Oh, Trevor Bauer was innocent.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

And that was just one broad. If there were like 16 of them, you'd be like, all right, Trevor, you got a problem? Trevor came out and said, oh, yeah, no, I beat the tar out of that broad. I'll show you the text that she wanted it.

[Unknown]

And so on the other side of it, Deshaun Watson. That is done and over. Right? They're all paid out.

[Dick Toledo]

Everybody's settled. There might. There might be a couple things lingering, but for the most part, desean's clear. Clear. I love it. I think it's fantastic. Justin Tucker, I hope he's kicking for the Ravens again next. Cause, man, the whole crowd at Acrisure Hines Field just doing hand job gestures while he's trying to kick. I mean, that will be. They'll have to cut Away tough off season. And then. And then when he's all done all, you know, if he misses one, the whole crowd. Oh, just together. Just has a big release. And then instead of a doink, it's a squirt on the big when he misses. And if I was the in house announcer kicking off for the Baltimore Ravens, number nine, Justin Tucker, and everybody would hear it and be like, oh, that's. And Tucker has to sit and eat it. I think if you do that at a. At a massage therapist's place and it's unexpected, she gets to rub your face in it. That gets legal to like a dog. Like, hey, hey, hey. We don't get a facial. We do not.

[Unknown]

Maybe that's why it happened 16 times.

[Dick Toledo]

That might be why he likes it Wouldn't surprise me if he likes to eat his own. He's a raven. After all the best food he's ever had. He's living in Baltimore. You want some brackish crab muffins? No. It's on the news. Last night they found another king in Egypt. They found another tomb. Like, haven't we pretty much exhausted all of that?

[Unknown]

Oh, they're in that. That valley of the kings, finding all these chambers.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, they found a chamber in 2022 and they just now got to him. Like, come on, pick up that long. It's been thousands of years. We should have, you know that. That ground sonar. What are we doing?

[Unknown]

You got to come up with how they're finding them.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, no, this one they found. Somebody accidentally found the door, and they thought it was to his wife's tomb. So then they start breaking out their little feather dusters, and it took them three years to get to the door. And they're like, hey, this belongs to a different dude.

[Brett]

And it's a 2022 El Chapo. Got a. Got something across the border.

[Dick Toledo]

In like four months, they might have all that art and on the tomb wall, so they got to dust it away.

[Brett]

It's graffiti. It's fine.

[Dick Toledo]

I agree.

[Unknown]

They' ground deep underground.

[Dick Toledo]

El Chapo dug a hole underground.

[Unknown]

Not to this degree, yo.

[Dick Toledo]

To this degree. The Mexicans are much better than the Egyptians.

[Brett]

They got Kalichi over there too, like we have here.

[Dick Toledo]

So they dug through Kalichi. This dude was just insane, right? Yeah, that's a problem. Okay. Collapsing, malapsing. El Chapo was an impressive figure, Right? Now, I'll give you billions of dollars of equipment to dig a hole from under directly this building to your house. And you pop up somewhere, you tell me you get that done. There'll be thousands of TR. You'll be so long you die in 15 minutes. You wouldn't even make it to 52nd Street. You dig a hole. I'd tell you to dig a hole from the first floor to your car. You'd miss by 20ft. This dude found the shower. Yeah. He was popping up in and out of the shower. Not only that, built a nice cover so nobody could see that his shower floor was removable. Into his tunnel back home.

[Unknown]

Oh, it's impressive.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, it's impressive. A lot more impressive. God damn you too.

[Brett]

Dufresne did it with a spoon.

[Dick Toledo]

And I'll go as far as to say this. He. He had. Yeah, he had less equipment here than the Egyptians did back in the day making those tombs. And then all those sandstorms made it. They buried it. It's like just. You know what? I hate to say it, but all those kings look exactly alike. We're not even discovering anything fun anymore. And kings we've never heard of. Did they even exist?

[Unknown]

Finding not only kings, but they're also finding people that were really wealthy that were able.

[Dick Toledo]

Right? Is it. But it's my solopsism that if we don't know who King Tooth Moose the second is. Did he even exist? Oh, yeah.

[Unknown]

He did this.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. King Tooth Moose 2 is discovered. You know, that's one that got found a while ago. And the one that they found, I think is the guy doing the work is. It had me laughing because his name is Khaled. Another one. And they found him and they found a bunch of alabaster vessels. And I get it. Like they're. They're looking for. What they're doing is looking for money.

[Unknown]

Treasures.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, they're looking for treasures. But it's already kind of claimed. So. Ismail Khaled is the secretary General. Another one. Of the Egypt Supreme Council of Antiquities. So they first found the entrance to the tomb three years ago. They believed it could belong to the wife. But this is King Thutmose iii. Yeah. And he's close to Queen Hatsaput.

[Unknown]

Oh man.

[Dick Toledo]

Look, nobody ever taught us about this in history. There's no reason. What's prepared her for. She was the royal queen after Thutmose III died. I like Thutmose 2, but not 3.

[Brett]

3 was like the Godfather 2 and 3.

[Dick Toledo]

You know, it's the Andy Garcia.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

It seemed like a good idea because the other toot misses were so good. But this one. Anyway, they got all this stuff together. They said that they had a long. If they don't find anything good other than just a dead mummy.

[Unknown]

I saw a thing. There they were smelling the mummies. They said they smelled like sandalwood.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, they smelled good.

[Unknown]

Yeah, like perfume. After all these years.

[Brett]

After all these years.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Toot Moose 2 was found in the 1800s at another site. So I didn't bury him near his dad. Maybe they didn't get along. I don't know. But yeah. Come on, we got to be better at this.

[Unknown]

There had to be some swag in there.

[Dick Toledo]

Egypt has to be. We can't even find the lost Dutchman's mind because it doesn't exist. Like, come on, let's. We've. And it isn't from a lack of looking. Every summer some old people go out and die in the. Let's get it together and start admitting that we're done with Egypt.

[Brett]

You weren't big enough to have a pyramid or a sphinx. I'm out. I don't care if you're just buried near a couple of.

[Dick Toledo]

You know. That's like. Sorry, I just choked on my own spit. When I go over to California, I spend a day at Forest Lawn Cemetery. And I'm always. I parked and I got out of the car and I looked at right on the. And I thought it was really a bad spot. But right there next to one of the roads in this beautiful place. It's just a gorgeous park. Was Brittany Murphy. And she had just recently died, but she had a cruddy spot. And right next to her is some dude who's name was written in another language. He was like.

[Brett]

He was number three.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. And he was right next to Brittany Murphy. And I'm like, well, in the future when they dig these up, they're gonna be like a starlet. And then this guy. He's not important. Just another nameless gray face that wandered the planet and did nothing like most of us. But Brittany Murphy was an 8 mile. So people would at least have some film footage of her. The king toot moose 3. Not even a real guy. What did he do? Oh, he was the lesser of the Toot mooses. Who? I've never heard of any of them. Let's. Let's excavate. Let's get one of those underground drillers. We found all the hieroglyphics and fun. We're gonna find nothing new. Once we found King Tut. We were pretty excited about that Toot Moose 3.

[Unknown]

There seems it has been a haul of treasures.

[Dick Toledo]

Right? And they're not. Yeah. Well, here's the other thing. Well, tut was so early. They're like, did you guys know about this part of it? Like, we had just kind of figured out there was a lot more to it. In the late 1800s, they were digging around out there because they just kind of discovered what this all meant. I bet you there's stuff under them. But if we aren't, like, if we're not told we're looking for this guy, like, that's the only time I'd be impressed. Like, if Brett said, we're looking for Toot Moose IV now, and then he finds Toot Moose the fort. That's needle in a haystack stuff. That's pretty impressive. But they have to come up with a new method other than the feather duster and the just time consuming. Oh, it's too much. And you're coming out of there with nothing.

[Unknown]

And they plaster them to move the parts so they don't break anything.

[Dick Toledo]

We need a Donald Trump type guy.

[Unknown]

He keeps Matt Geo strong.

[Dick Toledo]

Everyone, look out. I'm going in. I'm just gonna start digging with a shovel. Don't you ruin all of the artifacts. We have enough pots. Let's be honest. That's enough. I don't care about any more clay pots or pictures of warriors shooting a deer. There's plenty of that in America. In fact, I'm gonna name this the tomb of America. People don't want me to do it. I don't get it. And then just shovel away. Bring in those Mexicans. You'll be finding mummies every five minutes. And then go back and dig around in the wreckage. But if it's just mummies, you're looking for Mexicans, you're the ones that I'm hiring because El Chapo said, I want to go home. And he dug a hole in his shower, and he went home and then said, I'll be right back. And he had a. He just walked back and forth through the tunnel. He had a few slaves helping him out, a few loyal side men. I dug a hole from my shower to this spot. Meet me there. Like, they knew the intersections. They have.

[Unknown]

They.

[Dick Toledo]

They have.

[Brett]

They had lights and stuff down there too.

[Dick Toledo]

I mean, they're like moles. They're unbelievable. That is a digging piece, people. And their. Their sense of direction without landmarks is incredible.

[Unknown]

That'd be good competition.

[Dick Toledo]

Which. Which big battles, you know, like, build which race digs.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

I hasten to have a show called Best Diggers. I don't think that's. Yeah, yeah. Race excavation. Maybe that's a thing. The Amazing race excavation. Holmberg's morning sickness, the 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness. And then you just have him, like, all right, dig a hole from your house to the prison showers and these guys, that's nothing. Can we use our old one? No, no, I gotta have a new one. You know who'd lose? American whites.

[Brett]

Yeah. Indiana Jones. I got nothing on El Chapo.

[Dick Toledo]

I've tried to dig holes in my own backyard and can't do. If you tried to get me to dig from my backyard to the kitchen, I'd run into a problem somewhere around the picnic table, 12, 15ft from my starting line. All right, you got to go from here to that door that you can see. You can actually throw a rock and hit fairly easily. You dig a hole from here to there. Can you do it? Sure. I'd be about knee deep in the first hole I dug, and I'd quit for the day. Meanwhile, two Mexicans are in my kitchen.

[Unknown]

Vietnam had three levels. That's Highway 1.

[Dick Toledo]

Now, that's A. That's a digging culture. There. They had a full city underneath. We're not. We need giant equipment, and they know that makes us better.

[Brett]

George Clooney and Brad Pitt did it in Ocean's Thirteen or whatever. They dug under Vegas. They lifted a building.

[Dick Toledo]

I mean, they were in the water.

[Brett]

They lifted that wall.

[Dick Toledo]

I'll tell you this. That's also because that was the worst of the Ocean's movies, because it was so unbelievable.

[Brett]

Oh, 100.

[Dick Toledo]

Nobody bought. They didn't hire a bunch of Mexicans to do that. Yeah. I just don't. That is a culture.

[Unknown]

But, yeah, good battle. There's a lot of. A lot of good diggers.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. I just don't want. I just think Egypt's taken too long. You've had. You've had access to this for this long, and you're still just finding Toot Moose 3, a guy I've never heard of. If you're finding people we've never heard of or you never taught us about, then it's not that important. Like I said, it's like digging up Brittany Murphy and finding the guy next to her and acting surprised. It's a tomb. You found a. You found a cemetery, and then you're shocked when you find bodies. Oh, this is great. All right. What did he do?

[Unknown]

Organic underground field in China with a terracotta soldiers.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. Pretty cool. But once you find one of those, you're like, how big is this? You don't want to wreck it all. But if you're just looking for that.

[Brett]

How, how they know it's Toot Moose 3. I mean, does he have. He have ID on him or what? You know?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, evidently, all the way down the hallway they found. Three years ago, they found his wallet, his id. They always buried the mummies with their legal current id. It was a tapestry of them. They didn't have photographs, but stupid. And then I also love that P. Diddy is now admitting that he did have, he did hire people from other states to come have sex with dudes. And. But he had to say in court, he's like, that's an old law that you only throw at black people. And he's not wrong. It's the same one they got Jack Johnson with the old boxer years ago. Is the interstate trafficking. It's called the man law. M A N N. Which is appropriate because Chuck Berry was also busted on this. And it's not like underage people. It's Diddy said yesterday no other person and no white person has ever been prosecuted under the white Slave Traffic act for hiring male escorts from another state. That happens all the time. And he admitted, sure, I hired a bunch of dudes to come up here and nail me, but that's not illegal in the United States. It's very common. He said two of his longtime girlfriends brought third party male escorts into their sexual relationship. He said it's common and widely accepted in American culture. He said it's the escort service he's talking about in his case is a legit business operating out in the open. But they're basically saying you're not allowed to do that, though they can. They can operate out in the open all they want. You're not allowed to hire dudes and drive them over state lines to. To bf. Yeah, he says he's basically admitting that that happened, but he's accusing the government of doing the charge because he's black. So he's playing the OJ card. He's going for the race card here.

[Unknown]

I didn't see that. The only thing I saw is a new name of him, you know, the Jizzard of Oz. I mean, they never stop. They're just constant.

[Dick Toledo]

Soon Justin Tucker will be at one of these parties with his cross out and a set of soiled sheets. Yeah, There is truth, though, to what he's saying because the only other white person of prominence that was ever almost indicted for this was Elliot Spitzer. Remember that guy? Was he the governor or the mayor? I don't remember. But Elliot, he was a governor and he got in Trouble for that. And they didn't charge him with the man like he was doing the exact.

[Unknown]

He was out of town, wasn't he?

[Dick Toledo]

Well, he was bringing them in too.

[Unknown]

That's right.

[Dick Toledo]

He had escorts coming in from other places and. Which is the exact same thing. And then. And three other people were doing the same thing and they got hit and he didn't. But it is. There is sort of a thing with Chuck Berry and Jack Johnson, although you're going back a few years, that they're getting Diddy on that one. It's a law from like the early 1900s. But the fun of it is that Diddy finally had to admit that he used to love getting railed by strange men. So the Diddy parties get stranger. We knew it. But now it's confirmed in a public document.

[Brett]

He's just trying to take the heat off the celebs that were involved in it.

[Dick Toledo]

They all have to be sweating.

[Brett]

Oh yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

They all have to be like.

[Brett]

All the stories go around about Bieber and everything getting passed around and the.

[Dick Toledo]

Dudes that were blowing me from other states were hired. Oh no. And if you ever drop money off at Diddy's house, like you thought you're paying for the keg, right? Everybody put 50 in an envelope. Yep.

[Unknown]

You can't leave now, you can't go now.

[Dick Toledo]

Haha. Sign this. Haha. And then you'd sign it and you'd be like, what did I just sign? It's all I wanted was a glass. I just. This is nuts. And that. And look, they say Regis had no idea Regis Philbin was at many Diddy parties, which is hilarious. All right, Diddy. When did the guys from out of state get here and start blowing the big reach? You know, Joy hasn't blown me for a long time and I'd love to take it right in the ass. That's why I come to these parties.

[Unknown]

The white party.

[Dick Toledo]

The white party. I like my face covered in it. Let's do this. Big daddy's ready. I'll close my eyes. And they go, you know, entertain Joy or something with one of these out of state hookers. And then he would have prostitutes come and bang Regis Philbin in the ass. And I think for me, I don't need to know that for certain, but I've seen enough pictures of Regis Philbin at a ditty party that first made me uncomfortable that he was there at all. And now that we know the details, the fact that he went back for multiple runs tells me that our beloved Regis Philbin was A lot of the times. All right, I'm gonna get on my hands and knees like a pig in a Hawaiian roast, and I want you guys to just plug away at any hole you find. Hi. My name. No names. Big reach. Doesn't need to know who you are, just where you're at. That's it. Ah, you're gonna break my neck. Slow down. What's your name? I'm Justin Tucker. Oh, the field. Go kicker. Don't you dare. All over my sheets. Right on my head. Here's my toupee. Take it.

[Unknown]

Unbelievable.

[Dick Toledo]

You got Regis, you got Bieber, you got Leonardo DiCaprio. All these dudes were in on it.

[Brett]

Jay Z and.

[Dick Toledo]

And just been much like Epstein. I don't think you want anyone to pull that. That sweater thread and start unraveling this mystery because you're gonna find out. A lot of people are any clear awful.

[Unknown]

Jay Z, the other. They had one of them.

[Dick Toledo]

One of the ladies that accused him is out. They fought it, and she went away. And they're. She wasn't the only one. Jay Z was there. Beyonce was there. They're all going to be implicated in the, you know, wander. Who's the. Well, we had that.

[Unknown]

Well, the one that will be interesting is JLo being involved in that whole big time.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, she knew all this. She might have been one of the longtime girlfriends that was bringing up dudes to boner husband. Anyway, it's a different world, and probably why Jim Brewer went crazy when he would always tell us the things I've seen, man, the stuff that goes on these parties. He just left. I should text Brewer and see if he'll come on. But he goes crazy sometimes when you start talking to him about it in a good way, because he's been right the whole time. Everybody said Jim Brewer, not psycho Dave Chappelle. Also quit. I can't be around this anymore. This is a toxic mess. And then he kind of came to grips with it, started to come back, but he took a nice long break and started to say this. This business does something to you. They try to frame you for things. Martin Lawrence running up and down the freeway with a gun because he was going crazy. He started to feel that he was going down that road. So we kind of moved to Ohio, got away from it, all normalized. We've had a couple people in here tell us about, you know, Hollywood parties they've been to and the weirdness that ensues. We were told by somebody that Saturday Night live, celebrating their 50th year, just this Last weekend used to have late night visits from very young boys for some of the cast that would just show up. True or untrue, there's no reason to tell us. But they did and they were there. And I said, for who? And they wouldn't say, but it was a pretty common practice to say that they're up late. Let's get us some young boys in here, little tension release and we'll get back to work. I don't know if that's still going on, but evidently it was. With all the cocaine and heroin that's flowed through that building, I can't imagine the prostitution wasn't up on 8h either. Talk to Lovitz about it. He. He was. He was aware of people's bad behavior, but he didn't see it himself. He was probably one of them. Not with the young boys. He was born.

[Unknown]

I was busy.

[Dick Toledo]

He was boning models, which is still crazy. Still crazy at 7:21. What do you got on the big board of musical Treats there, Bert?

[Brett]

Wake up. So I'm brought to you by Action Ride Shop, of course. Big grand opening at store number two, happening this Saturday from 11 to 1. Make sure you cruise on out because we're going to be hanging out with you guys, with the guys from Pivot. They're bringing out the brand new bikes out there. You can demo right there out at Hawes. Plus they'll be giving away a brand new bicycle as well. Plus all kinds of other giveaways Josh got planned for you guys. And if you need that snow and ski stuff ready to go, it's. Well, it's. You still got to go to location number one, right there on Gilbert Road in Southern. They're going to get you up north and have some fun. ActionRideshop.com for all your details and on the list.

[Dick Toledo]

Dude, did you just make Regis get a golden dumber at titties? Yep. I didn't make him. He did it. I'm just a reporter. I just report the news of Regis getting golden, dummy. So I have to look up. In a minute. All right.

[Brett]

Tons of stuff on the list. Mummy dust from Ghost for the two or three sequels.

[Dick Toledo]

King Toot Moose. Come on. You know the guy who did the thing with the sand? He did the sand thing and then built the Cat Man.

[Brett]

Toot Moose, Iron Maiden, Flight of the Icarus, Stroke from Billy Squire for Tugger.

[Dick Toledo]

Justin Tugger. Yeah.

[Brett]

Black Sabbath, Iron Man, Cult of Personality, Faith no More Acquisition.

[Dick Toledo]

Billy Squire gets time. All right, Justin Tuggar.

[Unknown]

What kind of music would you like.

[Brett]

To have to pull it up, because I.

[Dick Toledo]

It's right in front of me. He got it already. The stroke is happening. And that is for you, Tugger, and all you Ravens fans that have to hang your heads in shame and wash your sheets. Yep, that's right. Pittsburgh people may have to mount giant fat hillbillies to have sex, but at least we're doing it with their consent. All right, all right. I know Ben did a couple times, but still just two. You've got 16 and it's your ticker even better. I also saw a story yesterday. Tell me this Sophie's Choice, because Trump signed that IVF thing yesterday. Make it a little easier for exploring ways to make it easier for people who need in vitro fertilization to, you know, find. I have no idea how that works. I would think I would be so quick out the door when the words IVF were mentioned. And like, if the desire to have a baby was so strong that you brought in a third party like Diddy and no, I don't have that drive, so I don't understand it, but I understand some people do want a child that badly. And I'm like, have you seen children? Like, what they do to people? It's horrible. John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness. But this lady couldn't have kids of her own, so her husband and her did the IVF deal and they got this surrogate. And you know how it works. They take eggs out of the lady, they stuff them in her. He seeds her, but not like the old fashioned way. Like, they do it out of tubes and stuff. And then the lady carries their baby.

[Unknown]

They look for designer eggs, right?

[Dick Toledo]

No, no. Well, they're hers. Like, they're. They just have to farm them. They're not going designer. They're not going to let her. Because then it wouldn't be a thing. It wouldn't be her. The ladies desire to have her right kid, but her eggs don't work right, so something's wrong with her. So they plug her into another woman. Kind of like, you know, when you're trying to share information or turn a. Turn a tape into a dvd, you kind of just go, there's one wire and you take your egg and you put it in a. And a functioning woman. And then that functioning woman gets seed from your husband through a place, and then they shoot that in there with a turkey baster. And hopefully that takes. And they try to get it. It's not easy, evidently. More you read about It. The harder it is. But a lady has announced that she's leaving her husband because it wasn't working. Her eggs were busted. So he started to bone the surrogate on his own. And he was doing it to knock the surrogate up, not because he loved her. I mean, they start. I mean, obviously he had a thing for it, but he's like, I want my wife to have a baby. Then later she finds out because it starts to look like the surrogate a little too much. And she's talking to the doctors and they test and to find out that this was an old fashioned, you know, the way it's supposed to be done. Biblical pregnancy. He stuffed his junk in there, tuckered, coated the eggs like a sheet at a Baltimore sports facility of therapy. And then she got pregnant. And then the wife was so happy. Like, this is great. This is amazing. Like, it worked. Turns out it wasn't hers the whole time. So it's the first time that they can say that the white. The woman's like, that's not my. That's not mine. I demand a test. Isn't that crazy? So, yeah, but he did it out of love. He's claiming he boned that surrogate and got her pregnant so his wife would be happy. Happy.

[Brett]

So Tugger did too.

[Dick Toledo]

Plus, it costs like 50 grand every time you drop an egg into a stranger. The dude was probably tired of paying for it.

[Brett]

50 grand, it's expensive.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not worth it. No, no, no. Kid's worth. You pay me 50 grand to have a kid. Maybe I'd consider. Do I have to hang around with.

[Unknown]

It, but, like do it two or three times.

[Dick Toledo]

You have to give me at least a million dollars to forcefully have a child and raise it.

[Brett]

It's gonna cost you that.

[Dick Toledo]

That's what I'm saying. Well, and that's the deal is that now you're right now with college. All right, I'm bumping my prices. 2.5 million. If you say, john, you have to have a child, 2.5 million is my going rate. Otherwise, not worth it. I don't love anything that much. That ruined my life for, trust me, 31 years. Because that's how long they. Yeah. So I looked at that as sort of a beautiful Hallmark moment. She wanted a child so bad, but her eggs were broken. He's going broke trying to make a baby with her.

[Unknown]

So what was the thing that Trump signed?

[Dick Toledo]

Basically, he signed a thing that makes it easier and less expensive for women to do this. It's not an easy process.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm not trying to make that process easier, but this dude expedited the process. Instead of having her constantly be disappointed that the egg didn't take or that.

[Unknown]

They had to go through the process of hooking up.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, yeah, yeah. No. Nobody knew that he was boning the surrogate. That's not how you do it.

[Unknown]

I know.

[Dick Toledo]

Very rarely is the surrogate, like, they get introduced, but you're not sitting in a room or a coffee shop with.

[Unknown]

Her going, they got away with it.

[Dick Toledo]

For a while in the cup, right? Yeah. You put it in there, and then some company gets her egg, and they squirt it, and then they fire it into this lady who has healthy guts, and they make babies out of her. And then when did she.

[Unknown]

Like, was it a couple years? Or, like, she really.

[Dick Toledo]

Wait a minute. The details. It was a little bit after, but, like, Kanye and Kim Kardashian did it. Like, they put a baby inside some other lady and pumped it out because she didn't want to have babies anymore because it hurts her career because being pregnant and trying to come back is too hard. So they put it in a surrogate. And I think Chloe did the same thing. Like, these ladies call and go, hey, you're a mom. Yay, Chewbacca or what? Yeah. Yep.

[Unknown]

Carriage fee.

[Dick Toledo]

And then her real DNA came out, and it came out looking like oj. And she's gonna carve that thing up in a few years and make it look like a Kardashian, but for now, it looks a little like O.J. and whoever the dad is, which I'm guessing might be Tristan Thompson again, but. Yeah. So I thought that was a beautiful thing the guy did. Well, my wife's really depressed, so I should probably just stuff a baby in you, and we'll pretend it worked. Okay. And then he hosed her. She's divorcing him. That dude spent all that money on ivf. Grateful it worked his way.

[Unknown]

Now, then the surrogate has to come into the equation if the. Is she gonna keep the kid?

[Dick Toledo]

Right.

[Unknown]

Sarah get involved? Because isn't there a lawsuit there? That was. That's my baby.

[Dick Toledo]

But does baby fever mommy lose her mind and give that baby back?

[Unknown]

And who has the rights to.

[Dick Toledo]

Does she? Steve Nash it. Yeah. Anyway, he's gonna be paying. Yeah. She said that sometimes. She did say that sometimes the surrogate was at the house, and she didn't expect her to be there. Like, she'd come home and the surrogate was there talking, and they'd just be like, we just so excited about this baby. So we came and started talking about it. But what. What they didn't know is that he had just filled her up.

[Brett]

She's ungrateful.

[Dick Toledo]

She's like, I didn't even. I think so, too. Brad. I think this is. I think this is on the begging.

[Brett]

Trying to give her what she wanted.

[Dick Toledo]

And she's broken, right?

[Brett]

It's not his fault.

[Dick Toledo]

It's like a dude who can't.

[Unknown]

You got what you wanted.

[Dick Toledo]

If a woman went out and, like, my husband has Ed, and she's got a. You know. At least, you know, for a while there, the sex toys might work. But, hey, you need the real thing. And she's like, I had to go get the real thing. I did it for you. So you don't feel bad about yourself trying to take that limp noodle and do stuff with me.

[Brett]

I'm grateful.

[Dick Toledo]

Broad. Ungrateful. I'm with Brett. Think of a sacrifice that guy made, risking all that. And when he says, I did it for you, she won't even believe him. You just can't trust her. The relationship broke.

[Unknown]

He was there for the delivery and everything.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, he was there for all of it.

[Brett]

What a guy.

[Dick Toledo]

He took her on vacations. They had a baby Moon.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

This little surrogate's going through an awful lot for us. You're just so caring. Well, this is our child, honey. So I'm gonna take her to Hawaii. You stay here with your broken guts. My guts aren't broken. They're pretty broken, or we wouldn't be spending 100 grand to try to make a baby in someone else If I'm paying 100 grand. And by the way, he had to know, is it me? Because if the eggs and the seed weren't working, is it me? Is it my. So he stuffed it in the surrogate, and she goes, I missed my period. He says, not me. Not me. It's the busted guts over there is the problem. You marry busted guts and you end up with busted guts problems. My guts are busted, and I want to put a baby in another woman, I'll do that. Not that way. Well, son of a bitch. Do I get a say in this at all? I want it to be my DNA floating around in some other broad. How much is that gonna cost? 50,000 every time we harvest my eggs. Jesus Christ.

[Unknown]

Well, I'm getting.

[Dick Toledo]

Why don't I just. Why don't I jab it in the guts? That work instead of your busted old factory? I picture ovaries looking like one of those buildings they use for Movies that where bad guys meet each other. All the windows are broken out and it's some abandoned warehouse with two boards of floors. Yeah, two boards over the. I knew you'd be here, Montes. That kind of place. Where are the eggs? We ain't got no eggs. You gotta go somewhere else with eggs. Oh, you got it, Montes. Then they leave to like this beautiful place. I have tons of eggs. What if we take one of our broken eggs and put it in your good body? Yeah, it's gonna cost you 50 grand. I'd squirt in this surrogate too. I'm like, look, I'll pay you 50 grand right out of my pocket. We knock this off. I don't want to go to the doctor and jerk off anymore.

[Unknown]

I picture like Willy Wonka. Bad eggs.

[Dick Toledo]

Her whole thing is just bad egg. That's a bad egg. What do you get when your wife is a snatch? I don't know if that's the right word. Her eggs are broken. Busted guts. But I actually, when I as I was reading that, I thought it was going to end with like the ultimate sacrifice. Like this dude's like a war hero. He like risked it all. But the problem is he didn't tell his wife. Hey, I squirted in the surrogate. I made babies because my cream works and her eggs are awesome.

[Brett]

Grateful. She didn't want you. Don't make her feel bad.

[Dick Toledo]

You making those old dusty gray eggs with no yolk. You want? It's his fault that he went and made a real baby with a real person.

[Brett]

You didn't want to make her feel bad. I mean, what a guy.

[Dick Toledo]

She already had enough insecurities about her cruddy eggs.

[Brett]

Great guy.

[Unknown]

She carried the baby, lived in the tough shed in the back of the house.

[Dick Toledo]

She's over there at the egg beaters factory. He's at Hickman Farms. He knows where the eggs live. She's got this fake situation and he's paying top dollars for that. She's not even respectful of the money spent. That's love. I spent 100 grand. Your eggs didn't work twice. I'm squirting a real one in her third time's the charm. I'm gonna put the biscuit in the basket without you. And you're busted up, broken down old eggs.

[Brett]

Grateful broad.

[Dick Toledo]

Stinky, rotten old eggs. I can't believe you did this. What gave you what you wanted? Not the way I want it. Nah, you're complicated.

[Unknown]

I didn't like the baster they were using.

[Dick Toledo]

Right. He didn't care. He liked. He wanted to squirt the surrogate and he did it.

[Unknown]

I'll handle this.

[Dick Toledo]

You know I can have my own babies. I bet you can. What a beautiful store. Hallmark should open its own like section of so you. So you knocked up the surrogate.

[Brett]

Lacey Chabert will be in that docu series on home.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm gonna write a beautiful script about what a hero this guy is. Egg hero. I'll call it hero of the eggs. My wife's really down, Brad.

[Brett]

Eggnog.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay. I kind of like that. And it doesn't make sense, but I do kind of like that. You're sitting at a bar with your buddy and I don't know what to do. Spent all my life savings trying to make babies to make this lady happy. And her broken guts are a problem. And I'm. I don't know what to do. I think I'm just gonna squirt in the surrogate. Yeah, bro, do it. Yeah. That's not, that's not how the script would go. The movie would be five seconds. That would be real life. But that would be real life. The guy would have to be like, you have to talk to her about it. No, she's too insecure about her old surprise. I want her to feel like they worked. And if I tell her that I'm just gonna squirt in a surrogate, she won't let me. I wanna do this for her. You're the greatest man I've ever met. Thanks. And the character's name would be John Holmberg. And he would squirt in the surrogate and she'd be pregnant twice.

[Unknown]

Miracle baby.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah. The nurse is pregnant. The surrogate's pregnant. My sister's pregnant. Everybody else's eggs work.

[Unknown]

Must be in the water.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm Tracy Morgan and I'm gonna get the surrogate. Tracy Morgan is egg hero. I just got a pregnant accidental. But it would be a problem because I could take those broken ass old eggs and get those pregnant too. Just come out a little bit limpy. Look a little bit like Thriller. Anyway, I thought it was a beautiful love story. Turns out, can't please a woman. She's angry in the end. Violence for divorce. She's gonna take him for even more. And it's Berman going, let me tell you, it's a little bit your fault there. Broken guts because you brought the surrogate to the party. He probably. No man ever says, let's get a surrogate. Oh, you can't get pregnant. And then we act like, ah, shoot, well, that changes my whole life. Oh, how disappointing that we can't have kids. We could if I brought another woman in. I'm listening.

[Brett]

I'm only doing it for you.

[Dick Toledo]

But you have to do it in this cup. And she has to take it. Oh. Oh. This is going to cost me money. I know a better way.

[Brett]

Won't cost 50 G's.

[Dick Toledo]

It's gonna. It'll be free.

[Unknown]

Give us a call if Sarah gets direct.

[Dick Toledo]

The doctor comes in. I like Brady's theory, too. The doctor. Sorry. The egg just falls. I'm sorry. Here are your test results. My broken guts. Yeah, I'm afraid it's the broken gut syndrome that you carry. Now, I do have another suggestion that your hero, John Holmberg, the husband, could squirt and the surrogate himself just make a baby. You could pretend to be yours.

[Unknown]

That won't be the same.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, you're the one with broken guts. You've got choices. Or you can give me another 50 grand and we can shoot another one of your rotten eggs in this beautiful surrogate. Lady. Never hire a hot nanny or a pretty surrogate. What's wrong with you? Surrogate has to look like white Lizzo. No. 1. That's the way it has to be.

[Brett]

Look, here's a 50 grand. I'm not doing that.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, you would never worry about 50 grand. Bring some college girl in there. It's like, I'll carry you, baby. Oh, my God. Maybe I should have squirting that.

[Unknown]

I'll carry your baby, Mr. 50 grand.

[Dick Toledo]

And if I have a baby hunked up inside me, you gonna hump it in me or you gonna just squirt it? Oh, good Christ. Get the baster. Blech. Anyway, back to Justin Tucker. This one's for you, Justin. It's Billy Squire. It's the stroke for the Ravens. Go Steelers. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.