Holmberg's Morning Sickness: Best Ofs (02-19-26)

Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show on 98KUPD

Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

Episode Overview

This "Best Of" episode delivers a whirlwind of signature morning show chaos, riff-filled banter, audience call-ins, irreverent comedy, and enduring Arizona inside jokes. The main focus is the now-infamous “Goot, Shat, Swaz” trivia game, in which participants must quickly identify films or references as belonging to either Steve Guttenberg (the Goot), William Shatner (the Shat), or Patrick Swayze (the Swaz), with little margin for error and plenty of laughs for everyone’s mistakes. Beyond the game, the team dives into bizarre news stories, relentless listener interaction, outlandish hypotheticals about Arizona Governor Napolitano, and ultimately attempts to negotiate an RV purchase live on air. The episode is packed with the show’s trademark mix of mischief, pop culture references, and off-the-cuff Arizona flavor.

Key Segments & Discussion Points

“Goot, Shat, Swaz” Trivia Game

[00:39 – 16:40]

Game Intro & Rules:
The team introduces their new, “stupidest game ever.” Listeners call in and pick a host’s list; each item requires rapid-fire association of a film or reference to “Goot” (Guttenberg), “Shat” (Shatner), or “Swaz” (Swayze). Stumble, hesitate, or answer wrong, and they're out.
- "Basically what it is is we name something, you name who's affiliated with it: Steve Guttenberg, William Shatner, Patrick Swayze…" — John Holmberg [00:39]
Listener Participation & Meltdowns:
Multiple callers attempt and rapidly fail, with the hosts razzing each attempt and marveling at how the simple game is far harder under pressure. Frequent resets and giggling punctuate the attempt.
- “People are freezing. It’s tougher in the hot seat, I think.” — John Holmberg [04:05]
- “You gotta be a quick thinker. Look at the shat, the swaz.” — John Holmberg [06:25]
First Notable Success:
Paula, one of the few female callers, nails 9 out of 10, subverting the show’s male-dominated movie-quoting bravado.
- “We couldn’t have been more wrong about the ladies. We figured I was angry, that’s why I got in. Men are dumb. Women smart.” — John Holmberg [15:23]

Memorable Quote:
“Sorry, Poopy Pants.” — Brady Bogan, to a repeatedly failing caller [05:16]
“Gooch et Swaz. Impossible.” — John Holmberg [05:47]

Outrageous Arizona Banter: Governor Napolitano

[18:00 – 24:07]

Hypotheticals & Running Gags:
Holmberg launches into an extended, intentionally absurd, and explicit riff speculating about Governor Janet Napolitano’s sex life, spinning out a soap-opera scenario featuring leather straps, hair-pulling, and “doggy straps,” all while co-hosts react in mock horror.
- “I just picture her sexually because her sexual decision making is in question. Now when I see her, I’m like, she’s doing okay, but I really want to know what she’s like in the bedroom.” — John Holmberg [19:39]
Meta Commentary on Respect & Politicians:
Underneath the laughs, the team debates why such topics are taboo, venting about double standards, respect for elected officials, and “the right to imagine.”
Goes Over the Top:
The vivid hypothetical culminates in Holmberg’s declaration about freedom:
- “If it’s a country where I can’t picture a giant lesbian making love to me without fear of a bullet piercing me in the head, then it’s a place I don’t want to live.” — John Holmberg [22:12]

Brady’s Weird News & Oddities

[24:16 – 43:44]

Stories Discussed:
- Prison Rape Mythbusting: A new study claims prison rape is rare; hosts are skeptical. [24:16]
  - “Of course not [they wouldn’t admit it]. What are they trying to encourage tourism?” — John Holmberg [24:46]
- Racial Rhetoric in Politics: Discussion of New Orleans’ mayor Ray Nagin’s “chocolate city” comments, double standards in racial language, and Hillary Clinton’s “plantation” analogy at an event. [26:39–31:55]
- Cheating Exposed by a Parrot: A man's parrot reveals a girlfriend’s affair by mimicking her voice, plus a story about a guard parrot foiling a robbery. [31:55–33:38]
  - “Women whore around, what they do. Yep.” — John Holmberg [32:27]
- Genetics: Irish families traced to one ancient warlord; Genghis Khan’s millions of descendants. [35:05–36:39]
- Dominatrix Dismemberment: Bizarre trial involving a dominatrix whose client dies during a session—she dismembers and disposes of him. [37:03]
- Name Change Funnies: A Chinese immigrant named "Fu King Kwok" legally becomes "Andy" due to years of ridicule.
  - “How do you go from Fooking to Andy? That’s fooking ridiculous.” — John Holmberg [40:13]

The Infamous RV Purchase Negotiation (“The Chieftain”)

[44:33 – 62:57]

Background:
Co-host Toledo contemplates buying a 1972 Winnebago Chieftain RV, despite recent financial setbacks. Holmberg and team suspect an impending disaster and relentlessly tease him.
- “Who buys a 40-year-old, $650 house?” — John Holmberg [49:06]
Live Phone Negotiation:
They call Kevin, the seller, live on-air. The conversation becomes a comedy of errors: questionable repairs, missing tires, unclear engine status, and the infamous bathroom.
- “Can you pee in it?” “Oh yeah.” — [52:08]
- “I mean, you got stuff to do in the bedroom…” — Kevin (the seller) [53:31]
Haggling:
Deal is ultimately struck—$410 and a chainsaw (allegedly autographed by Jesse James Dupree of Jackyl) for the RV.
- “350 and the chainsaw, Kevin.” — John Holmberg [57:10]
- “410 and the chainsaw. Toledo, swing it!” — John Holmberg [58:27]
Listener Calls & Reactions:
Callers weigh in, comparing Kevin to Randy Quaid’s unforgettable “Cousin Eddie” from Vacation, and predicting doom for Toledo and his son in the “meat rig.” - “You can pee in it. That’s what I would get on the back.” — John Holmberg [67:04] - “You’re gonna die in that, Toledo. Mark my words.” — John Holmberg [73:30]

Final Banter & Listener Stories

[76:04–end]

Wife Logic & Home Mishaps:
Holmberg details his wife’s “Megan911” moments, such as being afraid of snake skins and assuming “accidental architecture” resulted in the Cubs’ new stadium resembling Wrigley Field. - “Did they do that on purpose? Nope.” — John Holmberg [76:32]
Bird Impact Story:
Holmberg refuses to clean up bird guts on the window—“that’s women’s work”—after already disposing of the body. The guys riff on traditional divides and movie references alongside the daily grind of Arizona home life.

Notable Quotes & Moments

On the Impossible Game:
“Goochet Swaz. Impossible. We’ll try one more here because it’s just... it’s too quick.” — John Holmberg [05:47]
Banter About Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano:
“If it’s a country where I can’t picture a giant lesbian making love to me without fear of a bullet piercing me in the head, then it’s a place I don’t want to live.” — John Holmberg [22:12]
On the Epic RV Negotiation:
“Who buys a 40 year old... the $650 house? Who? It’s a renovation project. You don’t have any money.” — John Holmberg [49:06]
“Can you pee in it? Well, you can pee in it.” — John Holmberg [67:04]
On Double Standards:
“If a black guy calls black people chocolate, it’s okay. So what? He wants all the white people out of there... There is a double standard with it.” — John Holmberg [28:13, 29:47]

Timestamps for Important Segments

00:39 – Goot, Shat, Swaz Game Intro & First Attempts
05:17 – Memorable Caller: “Poopy Pants” tries the game
14:45 – First female caller dominates the game (Paula’s near-win)
18:00 – Holmberg’s Janet Napolitano riff
24:16 – Brady’s news: Prison rape study and politics
31:55 – News of cheating parrot and “guard parrot” stories
44:33 – Toledo’s RV purchase saga starts
50:01 – Phone negotiation with Kevin, the RV seller
57:10 – Sealing the RV deal: $350 and a chainsaw
62:53 – Listener reactions & more white trash deals
76:04 – Accidental architecture/life with “Megan911” moments

Takeaways for New Listeners

The “Goot, Shat, Swaz” game embodies the show's freewheeling silliness and deep well of pop culture reference.
The show’s irreverent, edgy banter consistently pushes boundaries, especially around local Arizona personalities.
Listener interaction isn’t just welcomed but actively forms a key on-air element—expect running jokes to build across calls.
There’s an Arizona-specific flavor (local politics, RVs, financial struggles, camping, backyard wildlife) recurring throughout.
Negotiating real-world deals on-air (as with the Winnebago) is classic HMS: part comedy sketch, part live-action sitcom.
The tone is quick-witted, sometimes bawdy, never sentimental—and always ready to puncture pretension or everyday idiocy.

If you love movie trivia, local Arizona in-jokes, listener mayhem, and dangerous deals made on the fly, this is essential HMS listening.

Holmberg's Morning Sickness: Best Ofs (02-19-26)

Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show on 98KUPD

Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

Episode Overview

Key Segments & Discussion Points

“Goot, Shat, Swaz” Trivia Game

[00:39 – 16:40]

Game Intro & Rules:
The team introduces their new, “stupidest game ever.” Listeners call in and pick a host’s list; each item requires rapid-fire association of a film or reference to “Goot” (Guttenberg), “Shat” (Shatner), or “Swaz” (Swayze). Stumble, hesitate, or answer wrong, and they're out.
- "Basically what it is is we name something, you name who's affiliated with it: Steve Guttenberg, William Shatner, Patrick Swayze…" — John Holmberg [00:39]
Listener Participation & Meltdowns:
Multiple callers attempt and rapidly fail, with the hosts razzing each attempt and marveling at how the simple game is far harder under pressure. Frequent resets and giggling punctuate the attempt.
- “People are freezing. It’s tougher in the hot seat, I think.” — John Holmberg [04:05]
- “You gotta be a quick thinker. Look at the shat, the swaz.” — John Holmberg [06:25]
First Notable Success:
Paula, one of the few female callers, nails 9 out of 10, subverting the show’s male-dominated movie-quoting bravado.
- “We couldn’t have been more wrong about the ladies. We figured I was angry, that’s why I got in. Men are dumb. Women smart.” — John Holmberg [15:23]

Memorable Quote:
“Sorry, Poopy Pants.” — Brady Bogan, to a repeatedly failing caller [05:16]
“Gooch et Swaz. Impossible.” — John Holmberg [05:47]

Outrageous Arizona Banter: Governor Napolitano

[18:00 – 24:07]

Hypotheticals & Running Gags:
Holmberg launches into an extended, intentionally absurd, and explicit riff speculating about Governor Janet Napolitano’s sex life, spinning out a soap-opera scenario featuring leather straps, hair-pulling, and “doggy straps,” all while co-hosts react in mock horror.
- “I just picture her sexually because her sexual decision making is in question. Now when I see her, I’m like, she’s doing okay, but I really want to know what she’s like in the bedroom.” — John Holmberg [19:39]
Meta Commentary on Respect & Politicians:
Underneath the laughs, the team debates why such topics are taboo, venting about double standards, respect for elected officials, and “the right to imagine.”
Goes Over the Top:
The vivid hypothetical culminates in Holmberg’s declaration about freedom:
- “If it’s a country where I can’t picture a giant lesbian making love to me without fear of a bullet piercing me in the head, then it’s a place I don’t want to live.” — John Holmberg [22:12]

Brady’s Weird News & Oddities

[24:16 – 43:44]

Stories Discussed:
- Prison Rape Mythbusting: A new study claims prison rape is rare; hosts are skeptical. [24:16]
  - “Of course not [they wouldn’t admit it]. What are they trying to encourage tourism?” — John Holmberg [24:46]
- Racial Rhetoric in Politics: Discussion of New Orleans’ mayor Ray Nagin’s “chocolate city” comments, double standards in racial language, and Hillary Clinton’s “plantation” analogy at an event. [26:39–31:55]
- Cheating Exposed by a Parrot: A man's parrot reveals a girlfriend’s affair by mimicking her voice, plus a story about a guard parrot foiling a robbery. [31:55–33:38]
  - “Women whore around, what they do. Yep.” — John Holmberg [32:27]
- Genetics: Irish families traced to one ancient warlord; Genghis Khan’s millions of descendants. [35:05–36:39]
- Dominatrix Dismemberment: Bizarre trial involving a dominatrix whose client dies during a session—she dismembers and disposes of him. [37:03]
- Name Change Funnies: A Chinese immigrant named "Fu King Kwok" legally becomes "Andy" due to years of ridicule.
  - “How do you go from Fooking to Andy? That’s fooking ridiculous.” — John Holmberg [40:13]

The Infamous RV Purchase Negotiation (“The Chieftain”)

[44:33 – 62:57]

Background:
Co-host Toledo contemplates buying a 1972 Winnebago Chieftain RV, despite recent financial setbacks. Holmberg and team suspect an impending disaster and relentlessly tease him.
- “Who buys a 40-year-old, $650 house?” — John Holmberg [49:06]
Live Phone Negotiation:
They call Kevin, the seller, live on-air. The conversation becomes a comedy of errors: questionable repairs, missing tires, unclear engine status, and the infamous bathroom.
- “Can you pee in it?” “Oh yeah.” — [52:08]
- “I mean, you got stuff to do in the bedroom…” — Kevin (the seller) [53:31]
Haggling:
Deal is ultimately struck—$410 and a chainsaw (allegedly autographed by Jesse James Dupree of Jackyl) for the RV.
- “350 and the chainsaw, Kevin.” — John Holmberg [57:10]
- “410 and the chainsaw. Toledo, swing it!” — John Holmberg [58:27]
Listener Calls & Reactions:
Callers weigh in, comparing Kevin to Randy Quaid’s unforgettable “Cousin Eddie” from Vacation, and predicting doom for Toledo and his son in the “meat rig.” - “You can pee in it. That’s what I would get on the back.” — John Holmberg [67:04] - “You’re gonna die in that, Toledo. Mark my words.” — John Holmberg [73:30]

Final Banter & Listener Stories

[76:04–end]

Wife Logic & Home Mishaps:
Holmberg details his wife’s “Megan911” moments, such as being afraid of snake skins and assuming “accidental architecture” resulted in the Cubs’ new stadium resembling Wrigley Field. - “Did they do that on purpose? Nope.” — John Holmberg [76:32]
Bird Impact Story:
Holmberg refuses to clean up bird guts on the window—“that’s women’s work”—after already disposing of the body. The guys riff on traditional divides and movie references alongside the daily grind of Arizona home life.

Notable Quotes & Moments

On the Impossible Game:
“Goochet Swaz. Impossible. We’ll try one more here because it’s just... it’s too quick.” — John Holmberg [05:47]
Banter About Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano:
“If it’s a country where I can’t picture a giant lesbian making love to me without fear of a bullet piercing me in the head, then it’s a place I don’t want to live.” — John Holmberg [22:12]
On the Epic RV Negotiation:
“Who buys a 40 year old... the $650 house? Who? It’s a renovation project. You don’t have any money.” — John Holmberg [49:06]
“Can you pee in it? Well, you can pee in it.” — John Holmberg [67:04]
On Double Standards:
“If a black guy calls black people chocolate, it’s okay. So what? He wants all the white people out of there... There is a double standard with it.” — John Holmberg [28:13, 29:47]

Timestamps for Important Segments

00:39 – Goot, Shat, Swaz Game Intro & First Attempts
05:17 – Memorable Caller: “Poopy Pants” tries the game
14:45 – First female caller dominates the game (Paula’s near-win)
18:00 – Holmberg’s Janet Napolitano riff
24:16 – Brady’s news: Prison rape study and politics
31:55 – News of cheating parrot and “guard parrot” stories
44:33 – Toledo’s RV purchase saga starts
50:01 – Phone negotiation with Kevin, the RV seller
57:10 – Sealing the RV deal: $350 and a chainsaw
62:53 – Listener reactions & more white trash deals
76:04 – Accidental architecture/life with “Megan911” moments

Takeaways for New Listeners

The “Goot, Shat, Swaz” game embodies the show's freewheeling silliness and deep well of pop culture reference.
The show’s irreverent, edgy banter consistently pushes boundaries, especially around local Arizona personalities.
Listener interaction isn’t just welcomed but actively forms a key on-air element—expect running jokes to build across calls.
There’s an Arizona-specific flavor (local politics, RVs, financial struggles, camping, backyard wildlife) recurring throughout.
Negotiating real-world deals on-air (as with the Winnebago) is classic HMS: part comedy sketch, part live-action sitcom.
The tone is quick-witted, sometimes bawdy, never sentimental—and always ready to puncture pretension or everyday idiocy.

If you love movie trivia, local Arizona in-jokes, listener mayhem, and dangerous deals made on the fly, this is essential HMS listening.

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02-19-26 - FULL SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD - Best Ofs

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Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness: Best Ofs (02-19-26)

Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show on 98KUPD

Episode Overview

Key Segments & Discussion Points

“Goot, Shat, Swaz” Trivia Game

Outrageous Arizona Banter: Governor Napolitano

Brady’s Weird News & Oddities

The Infamous RV Purchase Negotiation (“The Chieftain”)

Final Banter & Listener Stories

Notable Quotes & Moments

Timestamps for Important Segments

Takeaways for New Listeners

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness: Best Ofs (02-19-26)

Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show on 98KUPD

Episode Overview

Key Segments & Discussion Points

“Goot, Shat, Swaz” Trivia Game

Outrageous Arizona Banter: Governor Napolitano

Brady’s Weird News & Oddities

The Infamous RV Purchase Negotiation (“The Chieftain”)

Final Banter & Listener Stories

Notable Quotes & Moments

Timestamps for Important Segments

Takeaways for New Listeners