02-19-26 - Megan 911 - Cubs Stadium Construction - Snake Skin Bite - 2013/2015

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show

Episode: 02-19-26 – Megan 911, Cubs Stadium Construction, Snake Skin Bite, 2013/2015
Date: February 19, 2026
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" blends playful banter, Arizona-local stories, and irreverent takes on everyday oddities. The crew dives into “Megan 911” moments—quirky questions and misunderstandings, pokes fun at the city’s Cubs spring training stadium construction, and navigates listener emails about everything from snake skins to household chores. The tone remains sarcastic, quick-witted, and peppered with relatable, offbeat humor recognizable to regular listeners.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. "Megan 911" Moments and Women Heroes

• Theme: Celebrating failed attempts and the humor found within them.
• John recounts listener emails about “almost-heroes,” spotlighting Megan Rutledge’s infamous X Games crash and Lindsey Jacobellis’ snowboarding mishap.
  • “Megan Rutledge, the girl who did the fist pump, crashed her bike and lost the gold medal in the X Games, should get a wing in the Smithsonian. […] Because that's what a female hero is: a girl who almost made it to her destiny but then crashed and burned.” – John Holmberg (01:15)
• The hosts laugh about obscure knowledge:
  • “More blown away that there's a black guy who knows Winter Olympic facts. Fringe sport, Winter Olympic facts. That’s the next thing; he’s going to tell me he’s on the high school swim team.” – John Holmberg (01:50)

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2. Cubs’ Stadium Construction Comedy

• Theme: Absurdities and misunderstandings in construction.
• The team riffs on whether the Cubs’ new facility was “accidentally” built to look like Wrigley Field, mocking the idea that major projects have no plans.
  • “Like most construction jobs, they just start pounding and nailing and then step back after four months and go, God, I hope something. It looks just like Wrigley." – John Holmberg (02:53)
  • A running joke emerges about construction teams building things by memory with no blueprints, followed by banter about "accidentally" building a house or stadium.
  • “Our house is an accident. Why? This was supposed to be a bank.” – John Holmberg (03:44)
• The group extends the gag to other iconic Phoenix buildings, calling the local Dial building “the bar of soap” and asserting it must have been a happy accident too. (05:13)

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3. Megan911: Snake Skin Snafu

• Theme: Playful take on irrational fears.
• A listener shares a story: his wife feared a shed snakeskin could still be dangerous—suggesting they should get it “properly” removed.
  • “She goes, stop. Is it still dangerous?” (06:07)
  • “It’s the snake’s biggest trick to leave its skin behind as faux snake. […] It can still bite you.” – John Holmberg, mocking the logic (06:19)
• The tale morphs into a running joke about the dangers of snake “phantoms,” with the team assuring listeners that only the actual snake can bite. (06:29)

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4. Household Duties & Gendered "Women's Work"

• Theme: Satirical takes on relationship dynamics and house chores.
• John details the “battle” of who will clean the dead bird remains from their window:
  • “I'm not touching that. That's disgusting.” (07:13)
  • “I took care of the body. You clean up the window. That's how it works around here and that's how it stays.” – John Holmberg (08:06)
• The discussion leans on tongue-in-cheek gender roles, referencing cleaning supply commercials and the movie “Pulp Fiction.”
  • “That's why all the commercials for cleaning supplies have women in them.” – John Holmberg (07:47)
  • “Samuel L. Jackson, John Travolta back there cleaning the brains out of everything while a real man took care of the body.” – Bret Vesely (08:00)

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5. Bird Mishaps and Urban Wildlife

• Theme: Birds as ongoing neighborhood “troublemakers.”
• John describes the bird strike on his window, likening the silhouette left to art:
  • “It’s like art.” – John Holmberg (08:38)
• The group riffs about a city full of bird incidents, bird “uprisings,” and the possibilities for outdoor oddity.
• John describes a surreal San Francisco baseball game where seagulls invade as soon as the ninth inning would normally end:
  • “They just waited and the game went on. It was really strange looking. So keep your eye on birds today. You get one too close, kill it. They're up to no good.” – John Holmberg (09:34)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On obscure Olympic knowledge:
  “Useless knowledge. I’m your guy.” – Listener Reggie (01:30)

• On women "almost" heroes:
  “Put her right next to Ms. Earhart. Because that's what a female hero is: a girl who almost made it to her destiny but then crashed and burned.” – John Holmberg (01:22)

• On construction mockery:
  “Nope. Most construction jobs just. We got some steel and glue and… Start cramming those things together, boys, and hope a stadium happens.” – John Holmberg (03:10) “Did they do that on purpose? Gentlemen, we’re building a baseball stadium today. We all know what those look like by memory, and I think that's enough planning for us.” – John Holmberg (03:53)

• On the shed snakeskin scare:
  “Is it still dangerous?” – Listener’s wife (06:07)
  “The skin can still bite you. It’s the snake’s biggest trick.” – John Holmberg (06:19)

• On household duties and rebuttal:
  “You clean up the window. That’s how it works around here and that’s how it stays.” – John Holmberg (08:06)
  “Part of being a lady. I hate to break it to you.” – John Holmberg (07:47)

• On birds and accidental art:
  “It’s kind of framed already because the windows are paned. It hit one pane. So it’s in its own little–it’s like art.” – John Holmberg (08:38)

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Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:09] – Start of main show and “almost-hero” Megan moments
• [02:34] – Cubs stadium construction jokes begin
• [05:50] – Listener’s email about the snake skin
• [07:09] – Discussion of the dead bird and unspoken chore warfare
• [08:29] – Framing the bird imprint as art and bird trouble continues
• [09:34] – San Francisco baseball and seagull invasion anecdote
• [09:40+] – “Bird uprising” jokes and final bird riffing

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Tone and Style Notes

The episode is delivered with the group’s trademark sarcasm, culture-roasting, and Arizona-centric references. They play off each other’s logic gaps and stereotypes with intentionally exaggerated, self-aware humor, making the ordinary seem absurd and every “911” question an opportunity for comedic exploration.

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This summary captures the riotous spirit, major themes, and memorable one-liners from an HMS episode that finds humor in the mishaps of life, both monumental and mundane.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[C]

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[A]

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[C]

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[A]

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[D]

The rest of home birth Morning sickness. This is the Big Red Radio. All these people are emailing about that girl who failed, and I think Alex Plasco has nailed it. He texts me and says, megan Rutledge, the girl who did the fist pump, crashed her bike and lost the gold medal in the X Games, should get a wing in the Smithsonian. Cause isn't that what women love and they're heroes almost. And then crash right next to Amelia, put her right next to Ms. Earhart. Because that's what a female hero is. A girl who almost made it to her destiny, but then crashed and burned. And then our black listener, Reggie, fires over the name of the girl who was the snowboarder. Out of nowhere he goes, lindsey Jacobellis. Like, how do you know that? He goes, useless knowledge. I'm your guy. More blown away that there's a black guy who knows Winter Olympic facts. Fringe sport, Winter Olympic facts. That's the next thing he's going to tell me is on the high school swim team. I might just fall out of my chair.

[E]

So anyway, what are you going to do?

[D]

I had to share this because I

[E]

got an email from somebody that said, like the Megan911 yesterday with the bears.

[D]

I forgot about this.

[E]

You'll really like this because she did the thing where I threw. We'll throw bread on the ground and feed the birds.

[F]

Will that make bears?

[E]

No. When a man bear and a girl

[D]

bear love each other very much.

[E]

So I went through the whole speech

[D]

of how that's not how bears are made. On our way to show low.

[E]

This is another one I was gonna tell you yesterday. I forgot.

[D]

We drive by the Cubs new facility,

[E]

which is over on the 202 and 101.

[D]

We're driving by and I peek over

[E]

and I'm like, man, they did a

[D]

really good job coming along making that look like Wrigley. It's got. The lights are the same, and they did a really good job making it look like little Wrigley.

[F]

Was that on purpose?

[D]

No. Like most construction jobs, they just start pounding and nailing and then step back after four months and go, God, I hope something. It looks just like Wrigley.

[C]

We messed up.

[D]

We took.

[F]

Oh, shut up. You know what I meant.

[D]

Nope. Most construction jobs just. We got some steel and glue and.

[B]

Actually, no, I don't know what you meant.

[D]

Start cramming those things together, boys, and hope a stadium happens. Do we get any plans? No, no. That's not how construction works. It's all accidents. What'd you build?

[E]

We don't know.

[D]

Looks like Wrigley. We think that's perfect.

[G]

Remember, whatever you do, don't make it look like Wrigley.

[D]

Well, you can't do that when construction. That's a plan. That would be more than what? And the construction company would come up with.

[G]

You must wake up every morning just waiting for.

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Just like, what's gonna happen today? What are you gonna say next?

[G]

Every day is a new adventure.

[F]

Did they do that on purpose?

[D]

Nope. In fact, our house is an accident. Why? This was supposed to be a bank,

[A]

boss.

[D]

It happened again. We got the materials. We accidentally built the house. God damn it. There's got to be a better way. Did they do that on purpose? Gentlemen, we're building a baseball stadium today. We all know what those look like by memory, and I think that's enough planning for us. So everybody get together and grab a hammer and start hitting things.

[G]

Maybe Megan's found her calling is project manager.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

All right, guys, here's the plan.

[E]

Build it.

[D]

Build what?

[F]

Oh, right. A baseball stadium and go.

[D]

No, they knew they were building A baseball stadium. They just didn't have a plan on how that was gonna come together. And it just so happened that the Cubs new facility accidentally looks a lot like the Cubs.

[E]

Wrigley Field. You gotta be kidding me.

[D]

As they drive away from. You've got to be kidding me. Did you see what we just did? That looks a lot like Wrigley.

[A]

Genius.

[G]

Has she asked how ivy gets on the walls or anything like that?

[D]

No, I think she gets that one.

[E]

That one's not too bad. I think she's asked me why, and I don't know. I forgot. I always forget that. And then they always say it in, like, a cub special, like, oh, yeah,

[D]

I think it was.

[E]

One of the owners thought it was a. To protect the players from those bricks. Yeah, that helps. Just throw some ivy up there.

[D]

They haven't invented padding.

[E]

I don't know.

[D]

But yes, accidentally. And I drove her by the Dial building.

[E]

I don't know what they call that thing anymore. It used to be the Greyhound tower, and then it's the Dial V ad. And that one downtown, the bar of soap, you know, that's shaped like a football. That's actually a really hard construction design right there.

[F]

Was that an accident?

[E]

Yep. They made the most of it, though.

[G]

A lot of good accidents.

[D]

Hey, all of our steel's bent it. We'll just make the top curvy, right? Great work, boss. I would like to see that happen where they just reveal. Move that, boss. And the stadium is just this ramshackled message. We didn't have plans.

[E]

We're gonna start over.

[D]

Here's to knock it down and start again. Legos.

[E]

Somebody emailed me a Megan911, his wife and him. So my wife and I were out in the backyard and we found a snake skin. She sees it.

[F]

Oh, my God.

[E]

I went to pick it up.

[F]

She goes, stop. Is it still dangerous?

[E]

I don't think so.

[F]

Well, I'm not comfortable with this. Let's call someone and make sure and they can get rid of it properly so it doesn't hurt us.

[D]

It poisonous skin. The skin can still bite you. It's the snake's biggest trick to leave its skin behind as faux snake. And then, oh, my God.

[E]

It's an invisible snake wrapped in snake skin. It can still bite you. So he's, like, trying to explain to her that once the snake has left the skin, it's no longer a snake. It doesn't count anymore. The teeth are also with the original snake. So that's how that works. It was pretty hilarious. So if you've got a wife and snakeskins in the backyard. I found a snakeskin yesterday. Great one.

[C]

In the sheds where were.

[E]

It was over in the. By the pool equipment in the little pool room there. And he's got a little hole he's dug out. I'm fine with him. His name's Sam. We're cool, black and yellow, friendly fellow. So he's out in the backyard taking care of business, and I still have not. We're in a. The ultimate battle is raging at my house. An unspoken ultimate battle of who's going to wash that dead bird off the window. You remember last week when I told you that bird still there? Guts and wings and things and I'm not touching that. That's disgusting.

[G]

You get a hose?

[E]

Well, I got a hose, but I also got a wife and she's a window cleaner. Right. Those are. That's women's work. So she's supposed to be out there cleaning the windows.

[F]

And she said, can you get that off him?

[E]

No, I cleaned the. I cleaned up the carcass windows of yours. The windows belong to you. I went out and picked up the dead little bird and his broken neck and blood pouring out of his eyes and mouth. And I was the one who had to witness the carnage and do a proper burial in the alley.

[G]

Yeah, we do the dirty work.

[E]

We do that stuff. I took care of the body.

[F]

You clean, but there's wings and chunks.

[E]

Part of being a lady. I hate to break it to you, but that's why all the commercials for cleaning supplies have women in them.

[G]

Don't you remember Pulp Fiction? They had to clean the back of that car.

[E]

Exactly right.

[G]

Samuel L. Jackson, John Travolta back there cleaning the brains out of everything while

[D]

a real man took care of the body.

[G]

Right.

[E]

They're doing the women's work because they weren't willing to do the other side. I picked up the bird, you clean up the window. That's how it works around here and that's how it stays. So just this big imprint of a bird. I'll take a picture of it today. Put a big imprint of a bird on the window with two chunks of feather, like where his skin came off. He hit so hard and his feather stuck to the window. And they're not coming off. Like, I've gone there. It's kind of neat.

[G]

Yeah, it's a little different.

[E]

I've gone.

[C]

Frame it.

[E]

I've gone. It's kind of framed already because the windows are pained. And it hit one paint. So it's in its own little.

[A]

It's like art.

[E]

It is. That's what I said. I kind of enjoy it. So I've gone out there and like on the feathers on the window, they don't come off. His little body glued itself. I mean, he hit hard. You had it happen the same day. Morning sickness. Artist John Hoffman had one hit his car that day. It's like I had one hit my car. So we're getting close to the Hitchcock the way. And then I was watching a game the other day for. It was in San Francisco. They won an extra innings with the Diamondbacks game once. It was like the end of the ninth inning when it's supposed to be over. The seagulls just flocked on and they're like, no, we got a couple innings left. And they were everywhere. They just kept playing. It's like they knew, hey, this game's normally over. There's a ton of dirty food left by these pig people in here and we'll help clean up. And they just waited and the game went on. It was really strange looking. So keep your eye on birds today. You get one too close, kill it. They're up to no good.

[G]

Always making trouble in your neighborhood?

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Started one little bird fight. Bird mom got mad.

[C]

No direct eye contact with a bird.

[E]

To move into the nest with your auntie and Bella. I flew up to the house about seven or eight.

[H]

It's out of control now.

[D]

88. Can you.

[H]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about turfmonstersaz.com I have turf in my backyard and the only regret I've got is that I did not do this sooner. I have turned my backyard into a playground. I got a putting green, I got a pitching green, I got a sport court and I got loads of turf. I never have to worry about dying or looking bad or watering. You can do it too. If you can dream up a beautiful backyard, the gang over there at Turf Monsters can make it a reality. All you have to do is check them out. Turfmonstersaz.com.