02-20-25 - Beat My Dick - Naming Countries And Their Capitals

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary

Podcast Information:

• Title: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
• Host/Author: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio
• Description: Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD is Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show. John Holmberg endeavors to entertain, question, and challenge listeners with the help of Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo. Tune in weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM on 97.9 FM, the 98KUPD app, or www.98kupd.com.
• Episode: 02-20-25 - Beat My Dick - Naming Countries And Their Capitals
• Release Date: February 20, 2025

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Introduction to "Beat My Dick"

The episode kicks off with Dick Toledo briefly promoting FanDuel before transitioning into the main segment, "Beat My Dick." Brady Bogen enthusiastically reintroduces the game, expressing excitement about its return after a hiatus. He explains the rules clearly:

Brady (00:36): "Today we bring back Beat My Dick. It's gonna be glorious. Are you ready, Richard?"

The game centers around contestants naming the correct country when given a world capital. Participants must do so within a set time, with penalties applied for incorrect answers.

Contestant Spotlight: Dick Toledo Sets the Challenge

Dick Toledo steps up as the first challenger, aiming to set a benchmark for callers to beat. Brady outlines the initial rules, emphasizing the time constraint and the consequences of incorrect answers.

Brady (01:01): "Every single one that Richard misses when he's asked is 5 seconds additional to the time you must beat."

As Dick attempts the challenge, the tension builds with each capital presented. Despite some early missteps, he ultimately secures a respectable time:

Dick Toledo (04:21): "26 seconds."

After accounting for missed answers, Brady announces the final time:

Brady (04:24): "41 seconds to beat my dick."

Dick's performance sets a competitive standard, inviting listeners to attempt to surpass his time for a chance to win Mudvayne tickets.

Caller Success: Trent Triumphs Over the Challenge

The first caller, Trent, takes on Dick's challenge with determination. The interaction is marked by playful banter, especially regarding Trent's phone being under his sister's name.

Brady (06:36): "What are you here to do, Trent?"

Trent (06:37): "Yep."

Brady (06:37): "What are you here to do?"

Trent (06:37): "Beat your dick."

Trent manages to answer all presented capitals correctly, ultimately surpassing Dick's time:

Brady (08:05): "He matched it. Well, he beat my dick to a tie. You gotta beat it. You gotta beat my dick, not tie my dick."

Brady congratulates Trent, awarding him the Mudvayne tickets for his impressive performance.

Brady (08:05): "Congratulations. You've got it."

Challengers Struggle: Jim and Steve Fall Short

Following Trent's success, two more callers attempt the challenge but are unable to beat Dick's time.

1. Jim/Jennifer's Attempt:

   • Struggles with identifying the country for "Jakarta" and other capitals.
   • Engages in humorous conversation about being on his sister's phone plan.

   Brady (09:07): "Why is your phone in another person's name?"

   Trent (09:47): "It's my sister."

   Brady (09:49): "It's your sister? That's the most broke dick thing I've ever heard in my life."

2. Steve's Attempt:

   • Attempts to answer capitals like "Havana" and "Islamabad" but falls short.
   • Engages in light-hearted exchange about his morning routine.

   Brady (12:35): "Here we go. Havana."

   Trent (12:40): "Georgia. Oh, no."

   Brady (12:43): "Cuba. Nope."

Both callers, despite their best efforts, are unable to surpass the established time, highlighting the challenge's difficulty.

Final Reflections and Wrap-Up

As the segment concludes, Brady and Dick reflect on the competitive nature of "Beat My Dick," acknowledging the tough competition and the importance of well-rounded knowledge of world capitals.

Brady (15:31): "And then, God forbid, you went south. I knew Brazil and Peru after that. Central America, South America. I'm like, this is too much for me."

Brady praises the winners and hints at upcoming segments, maintaining the show's lively and engaging atmosphere.

Brady (16:00): "Beat my dick wasn't easy today, but two people did it. And one guy from Boston is going to get to drop Kick Murphy's T. He's going to try to find that in a couple of days."

The episode wraps up with Brady mentioning future guests and reinforcing 98 KUPD's position as Arizona's most powerful rock radio station.

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Notable Quotes:

• Brady (00:36): "Today we bring back Beat My Dick. It's gonna be glorious."
• Brady (05:12): "Abu Dhabi is United Arab Emirates. Beirut's Lebanon."
• Brady (08:05): "Congratulations. You've got it."
• Brady (09:49): "It's your sister? That's the most broke dick thing I've ever heard in my life."
• Brady (15:31): "This is too much for me."

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Conclusion:

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness delivered an entertaining and challenging segment with "Beat My Dick," engaging listeners through competitive trivia, humorous interactions, and rewarding participation. Contestants demonstrated varying levels of knowledge, contributing to the show's dynamic and lively spirit. With engaging hosts and enthusiastic participation, the episode upheld the show's reputation as Arizona's premier morning radio experience.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

It's Dick Toledo and new customers right now on FanDuel. Get $150 in bonus bets when your first $5 wager wins. Just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to grab $150 in college hoops bonus bets with a winning $5 bet and prepare for March on FanDuel America's 1 Sportsbook 21 plus in President Arizona first online real money wager only. $5. First deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next- step or text NEXT STEP to you. Thought that was funny.

[Brady]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? There you go. It is incubus right there. Pardon me. It is absolutely thrilling right now because we haven't done this in a while and I've wanted to play for a little bit and I don't know why. It's just been on my mind. But today we bring back beat my dick. It's gonna be glorious. Are you ready, Richard?

[Dick Toledo]

I hope so.

[Brady]

This is the game where we quiz Richard Toledo, Big D Toledo. And we put a clock on it. Brady's gonna have the clock and. Well, actually, yeah, I'll just have the timer. And then, Brett, I need you to count out how many he gets. Right. Okay. You get to five. Every single one that Richard misses when I'm asked is 5 seconds additional to the time you must beat. Today we're going to do capitals around the world. Around the world, around the world, national capitals. And maybe five won't be too bad. Maybe you'll figure it out. I'm gonna just take the first few pages there I have. If you choose to cheat and go online and try to try to con us, it's great. Good luck keeping up. All right, not you people listening, but if you want to play beat my dick, 585-9800. Toledo's about to set his time. You're going to have your your clock marked. And then you guys can call 585-9-800. If you can beat his time, what do we have to give away? Mud Vein tickets. Mud vein. All right, that's pretty good. So tickets to go see mud vein on the line here. If you beat our dick. And all I'm going to do is ask him, like, what are you here to do? And you shout out, I'm here to beat your dick. And then we all have an ice chuckle. And we move on. Brady, are you ready with the clock?

[Dick Toledo]

Ready.

[Brady]

Are you ready with the counter? Damn right. Are you ready with your words? Cheer? I'm ready. I don't think you're there. Very confident with. Yeah, there goes all that mud. Vein. Tickets. All right, every miss is a five second ad, so keep track of the misses as well. Brady, you're just looking to count to five. When I say correct, you give me five, right? Right. Here we go. I'll name the capital, you name the country. Okay? Here we go. Good luck, Richard. Abu Dhabi.

[Dick Toledo]

Abu Dhabi.

[Brady]

Incorrect. Algiers.

[Dick Toledo]

Marrakesh.

[Brady]

Incorre. The Hague.

[Dick Toledo]

The Hague.

[Brady]

Incorrect. Beirut. Wait a minute. Beirut's the city? Yeah. I'm giving you the capital, you give me the country. Oh, we'll start again. We'll start again. Jesus Christ. When I said I named the city, you named the country.

[Dick Toledo]

You said name the city, name the capital.

[Brady]

No, no. Did I not say that? All right, we'll go back to the tape. Just in case he's right, I followed along. Pretty sure Brady got it. That means. That means you screwed up. I'll try again. Are you ready?

[Dick Toledo]

Naming the country.

[Brady]

That's right.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay.

[Brady]

The fact that I was naming cities you thought were countries doesn't make me more comfortable with you doing this.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay.

[Brady]

Okay, here we go. Because when I said Abu Dhabi and you said Abu Dhabi back to me, I'm like, this is going to be a long day. All right, let's try again. Ready, Brady? Scratch round one. Got it. I know that you were following along, but he was not. Here we go. Abu Dhabi, Ethiopia. Incorrect. Algiers, Morocco. Incorrect. The Hague.

[Dick Toledo]

Holland.

[Brady]

Okay, we'll give you that one. That's one. Beirut, Lebanon. That's 2. Brussels, Belgium. 3. Bucharest, Hungary. Incorrect. Budapest, Hungary. There you go. 4. Canberra, Australia. There you go. Toledo. That's not bad. What's the time?

[Dick Toledo]

26 seconds.

[Brady]

Plus how many misses?

[Dick Toledo]

15.

[Brady]

So 40. Or was it 41 seconds? 41 seconds to beat my dick. That's a good time. That's a good time. 41 seconds. You don't think so? No. Those are tough. 41 seconds to beat my dick. I think you can pull that off. Now. You can only miss three. You missed three, right? Yeah. So we'll say they can only miss two because they're giving you the extra time. So you only get two. You miss two, you're right out to beat my dick. And that's all it comes down to. 5, 8, 5, 9, 800. If you want to play, we'll take a break. You breathe a little Bit. I might throw in some state capitals as well. We'll get. We'll see what we've got here. We'll. We'll throw them around. Capitals are today's beat my dick topic. And I'm very excited. Not bad.

[Dick Toledo]

Not bad. You got me thinking.

[Brady]

Algiers is Algeria. Damn it.

[Dick Toledo]

I knew.

[Brady]

Abu Dhabi is United Arab Emirates. Beirut's Lebanon. You got that? Brussels is Belgium. Bucharest is Romania. Romania and Budapest is hungry. Pay attention because I may repeat.

[Dick Toledo]

What was the Hague again?

[Brady]

The Hague is the Netherlands. He said he's in Holland. Close. The same thing. For the most part. We'll give it to him. What are you gonna do? Right?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

God damn it.

[Brady]

It's a tough one. 5859-800. If you think you can beat our dick, we'll take it. 41 seconds is your mark. And you'll go see Mudvay now. It could be. We have multiple tickets to this. Yeah. So we can, you know, if all of you beat my dick today. If. As long as I can take it, you can keep beating my dick on the line right now. Good luck to all of you. The game stands at 41 seconds. Good. Jon Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness. All right, we're ready to go. It is time to beat my dick. You ready to go? Richard's time was 41 seconds. World capitals, 41 seconds. And you can miss two. If you miss two, you're right out. Just. Boom. We've got Trent on line one. He's ready to do something. Let's ask him why he's here. Trent, are you there?

[Trent]

Yep.

[Brady]

What are you here to do? Beat your dick. That's exactly right. 41 seconds. You've got to beat my dick. And if you do that, you will get tickets to go see Mudvayne. Trent, are you ready?

[Trent]

I'm ready.

[Brady]

All right. Brady, are you ready to time Trent?

[Dick Toledo]

Ready, sir.

[Brady]

Are you ready, Brett, to count his victories? Got it. All right. I'm going to kick you off something. Easy, Trent, since you're the first caller. Here we go. It starts. When I ask you the city name, you tell us the nation in which it is the capital. Here we go. Washington. Goddamn. D.C. united States. America. Wellington. New Zealand. New Zealand is correct. Taipei. Taiwan. Taiwan is correct. Lisbon. Portugal. Portugal is correct. He may have a cheat sheet. Port au Prince. Port au Prince is Haiti. Haiti is correct. These guys at it. I'll get one more.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay.

[Brady]

We got plenty of time to mess around. All right. I'm going to give you a tough one, then. Victoria.

[Trent]

Victoria. Oh, shoot.

[Brady]

I don't know. Victoria. All right, that's one miss. That was us messing around, too. He's at 42 seconds, tied for five. Ooh. You know what? Since he was first, I'm gonna give it to him. He gets, you get.

[Dick Toledo]

Price just tied to get was five.

[Brady]

He matched it. Well, he beat my dick to a tie. You gotta beat it. You gotta beat my dick, not tie my dick. I'm not interested in that weirdness. So we giving it to him? Yes. He's got it. Congratulations. You've got it. Nice job. Yeah, we'll give Trent some tickets. That's pretty good right there. Five is good. Softball. I think he was cheating. Yeah, I gave him Washington goddamn D.C. all right. Make him a little tougher so you don't cry. All right. Got this sheet right here to get that together and get my stuff in order here. Might have a couple of repeats in there. All right, here we go. Ron on 2. I like this bunch. Ron, are you there?

[Trent]

I'm here.

[Brady]

What are you here to do, Ron?

[Trent]

I'm here to beat your dick.

[Brady]

That's exactly right, my friend. All right, Ron, it's gonna start any second now. I'll name the capital. You name. Ready? Yes. All right, here we go. Good luck to you. Kabul.

[Trent]

Istanbul.

[Brady]

Incorrect. Lisbon.

[Trent]

Portugal.

[Brady]

Portugal is correct. Monaco.

[Trent]

Monaco.

[Brady]

Path, that's two. He's out, he's out. He's out, he's out. Jennifer's on the line. Jim. Oh, Jim. If you were really Jennifer, you have only had to get two. Right. Because a woman doesn't have to get all five. I know. If only you identified as Jennifer bills like your phone does. Because your wife pays your bills. All right. Is that your wife or your mother?

[Trent]

Sure.

[Brady]

No. Who's. Who's paying your bill? Why is your phone in another person's name?

[Trent]

It just is. I just paid the bill.

[Brady]

Okay, but who is that?

[Trent]

It's my sister.

[Brady]

It's your sister? That's the most broke dick thing I've ever heard in my life. Wow. Sorry. We got some doing. I'm not that broke. You're pretty broke if you're on your sister's plan. Do you pay the whole bill? Do you pay. You just give her a cut. They get like, $48 a month.

[Trent]

No, I pay the whole thing.

[Brady]

You pay her bill, too?

[Dick Toledo]

Why can't it be in your name?

[Brady]

Yeah, why can't you get it stealier?

[Dick Toledo]

Why?

[Brady]

What's easier about being on your sister's bills?

[Trent]

You Know, like, credit.

[Brady]

Ah. You're a 490. You're a 4 9.

[Dick Toledo]

He's recovering.

[Brady]

What are you. Are you recovering from something horrible?

[Trent]

Sure.

[Brady]

This is why you can't get a phone. You don't answer good questions. You're bad at answering questions. The phone company can't trust a guy who does that. All right.

[Trent]

Maybe you'll get when I answer hard questions.

[Brady]

Well, all right. I see. Oh, okay. I got you. All right. You live with your sister?

[Trent]

No.

[Brady]

Sure? Okay. Sure, sure. Why wouldn't I? All right.

[Trent]

Sure.

[Brady]

Here we go. I'll name the city, you name the. The. The country. Are you ready?

[Trent]

Sure.

[Brady]

Here we go. We'll start with. I'm going to give you an easy one because you got bad credit. London.

[Trent]

Thanks. United Kingdom.

[Brady]

That's exactly right. Managua.

[Trent]

I'll pass on that one.

[Brady]

That's one. Oslo, Norway. Norway is correct. Nassau, Bahamas. Bahamas is correct. New Delhi, India. India is correct. Lima, Peru. Peru is correct. One more and he wins. Manila, Philippines. Correct. He's a genius. Beat my dick.

[Dick Toledo]

No more softballs.

[Brady]

Why are they all softball? Because you got just as easy. I don't see these as softballs.

[Dick Toledo]

First one, you guys. The easiest one. I'll return.

[Brady]

Jim gets it. Well, London. You. You didn't even know. I was named cities at first. Abu Dhabi's United Arab Emirates. That's easy. Yeah, it's where all the. All the WWE or. No, not those. The UFC matches are now. We lost the last one. We can go blind with. Let's go blind. We'll go blind with one. All right. Hi, there. Who's this? Steve, Turn your radio down. Steve.

[Trent]

Yeah.

[Brady]

What are you doing here today, Steve?

[Trent]

I'm here to beat your dick.

[Brady]

That's exactly right. Do you have a sort of a fake accent, Steve? What's going on there?

[Trent]

No, I'm from Boston.

[Brady]

No, I was trying to hide it. Well, I'm not going to give you any of the African countries. No, do that. No, you're from Boston. All Bostonians. It's not going to matter.

[Trent]

I have a lot of faith in myself on this one.

[Brady]

All right. Let's see what you got anyway. All right, you ready? I'll start the timer and we'll see what we can do. Ready?

[Trent]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Here we go. Havana.

[Trent]

Georgia. Oh, no.

[Brady]

Cuba.

[Dick Toledo]

I like it.

[Brady]

Cuba. Nope.

[Dick Toledo]

Gotta take your first answer.

[Brady]

I'm gonna just sit on that first answer for a second. All right. Islamabad.

[Trent]

Turkey.

[Brady]

Turkey is incorrect. Jakarta. I'm just gonna keep going until he gets a good one.

[Trent]

Oh, no. This could Be a while.

[Brady]

All right. Wy moment. You're from Boston? Djibouti.

[Trent]

I still don't know that one.

[Brady]

Djibouti is actually terrible. The capital of Djibouti. Dublin, Ireland. Yeah, he's didn't do very well, but.

[Dick Toledo]

Give him a couple more. You got one in 44.

[Brady]

You got one in 44 seconds. That's pretty Bostonian of you. All right, how about this? Thank you.

[Trent]

Thank you very much.

[Brady]

Pyongyang.

[Trent]

I'm gonna say Thailand.

[Brady]

Thailand is incorrect. North Korea. Riyadh.

[Trent]

Geez, I've heard that one.

[Brady]

Yeah, you've heard that one before.

[Dick Toledo]

I heard it a lot in the 90s.

[Brady]

Why did you call?

[Trent]

Because I like to call and be part of the show.

[Dick Toledo]

Part of the show.

[Brady]

We like to have you. I appreciate that. How about Phoenix, Arizona? There you go. At least he knows where he is. I was just. That was more of a concussion test. Hold on. Yeah, we got. We'll get something for you for St. Patty's Day. Hold on just a second. We'll get him. We'll get him a prize for just being from Boston. That's got to be tough.

[Dick Toledo]

Maybe he hasn't had his morning Duncan yet.

[Brady]

Oh, that's true. He might get. He needs his Duncan. I'll ask him. Put it back on there. Have you had your Duncan?

[Trent]

Nope, not yet.

[Brady]

Well, that explains everything.

[Trent]

I'm missing my Boston cream donut.

[Brady]

You got to get your Dunkin. It's. It's almost 9:00, for God's sakes. All right, all right, Southy. Hold on. There you go. That was pretty bad. Hey, world capitals. I don't know a thing about those. I'm gonna call in. But he gets Ireland, he gets iron. Of course it's ringing. Because every place he drinks is called Dublin something. The Dubliner. Dublin pub. Dublin Den Pals. I'm gonna see if Ben's got Dropkick Murphy's tickets or Dublin fisted. Yeah, Pyongyang is North Korea. I didn't go down the road. I could have with him. Aman. Addis Ababa. That's a tough game. And proof that the American school system doesn't focus on anything outside of our. Remember when they made us do all the countries in Africa? We had to name the countries in Africa. And that was a test. Ye just staring at that the whole time.

[Dick Toledo]

Like which I think 10 of them have changed since I was in high school.

[Brady]

Oh, sure. And you know why I didn't know any of them? Baseball. Yes, baseball in the United States kept me where the states were and cities and stuff like that. I could keep track.

[Dick Toledo]

I didn't know any World Series also.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah, well, you always did it. Back to sports. I go, Cleveland, Ohio. That's where the Browns are. Like, you knew general things just due to sports. Look at Africa, and I'm like, I don't know any other sports. I don't know Chad. Chad's a place. Chad's in the middle. I took it, and I knew Brett would know that one. I couldn't. I'd be throwing darts at where, though.

[Dick Toledo]

Not to be confused with Nigeria.

[Brady]

Jani taught me Sudan, but they taught us that. And then, God forbid, you went south. I knew Brazil and Peru after that. Central America, South America. I'm like, this is too much for me. But I could rattle off those states anyway. That's a tough game. Beat my dick wasn't easy today, but two people did it. And one guy from Boston is going to get to drop Kit Murphy's T. He's going to try to find that in a couple of days. Our sports friend Dale Hellestray is going to join us in just a little bit. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.