Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode Summary: February 20, 2025
Title: Emailer Tells Us His Ex GF Wanted To Be Internet Famous So She Faked Her Own Kidnapping - New Fear Unlocked After John Dives Into What A Fistula Is After Hearing About A Bad Case
Host: John Holmberg
Guests: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, Gene

1. Introduction and Listener Emails

The episode kicks off with Dick Toledo promoting a FanDuel bonus bet offer. However, this segment is later excluded from our summary as it falls under advertisements and non-content sections.

John Holmberg opens the show with amusing anecdotes about listener emails, highlighting the variety and sometimes dark humor in the stories shared. He humorously laments receiving emails about "horror stories" involving listeners contemplating murder, setting a lighthearted yet edgy tone for the morning.

Notable Quote:

• John Holmberg [00:36]: "Everybody's emailing me their horror stories about murdering their spouses and man, there's a lot of them."

2. Personal Stories: Holmberg’s Grandparents and Childhood Memories

John delves into personal stories about his grandparents, painting a vivid picture of their adventurous road trips across the United States. He shares humorous and heartwarming memories, such as how his grandparents ingeniously managed to survive long trips in an old Ford pickup truck equipped with a propane heater and homemade ventilation systems.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [01:59]: "They made it. I don't know how, but that should have been a murder. Had they."
• Brett [03:41]: "Where are we? Dallas. Jerry Driscoll lives here."

These anecdotes not only provide insight into Holmberg's upbringing but also set the stage for discussions about relationships and familial bonds.

3. The Ex-Girlfriend’s Quest for Internet Fame

A significant portion of the episode focuses on a listener, Brian, who shares his troubling experience with an ex-girlfriend named Veronica. Veronica's obsession with becoming internet famous leads her to an extreme plan: faking her own kidnapping to garner attention and clicks.

Key Points:

• Veronica initially focused on creating online content, including provocative photos and videos, to gain followers.
• As her strategies for gaining visibility failed, she proposed faking a kidnapping as a last-ditch effort.
• Brian expresses frustration and concern over Veronica's actions and the resulting social media frenzy.
• Despite Brian's attempts to intervene by contacting Veronica’s family and going public, Veronica ultimately shuts down her social media presence and distances herself.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [05:40]: "She wanted to fake her own kidnapping for clicks. Nice toss. This would be crazy."
• Brian [07:17]: "She wanted to fake her own kidnapping for clicks. Nice toss. This would be crazy."

This segment highlights the perils of seeking fame through sensationalism and the impact it can have on personal relationships.

4. The Reality of Internet Fame

John and his co-hosts discuss the unrealistic expectations of achieving internet fame, comparing it to the early days of local bands striving for recognition. They emphasize that only a minuscule percentage of online content creators actually earn a substantial income, debunking the myth that the internet is a guaranteed path to wealth.

Key Points:

• The majority of podcasts, blogs, and online personalities do not achieve financial success.
• Only about 1% of internet content creators make significant money from their efforts.
• Physical attractiveness may provide some advantage, particularly for women on platforms like Instagram, but it's not a feasible path for most men.
• The discussion touches on how even unique content, like a milkman gaining fame, is fleeting and often niche-specific.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [09:09]: "1%. Yeah, maybe I'd say 1% shooting high. There's so many blogs and podcasts and things and nobody making any OnlyFans."
• John Holmberg [09:47]: "Nobody is going to be Internet millionaires, man. You know, wanking off all the time. This is not a thing."

This conversation serves as a reality check for listeners contemplating the pursuit of online fame, emphasizing the challenges and low probability of success.

5. Introduction to New Fear: Anal Fistula

The episode takes a dramatic turn when John introduces a new fear unlocked topic: anal fistulas. This segment is inspired by a serious health issue shared by a friend, which leads to an in-depth and somewhat comical yet informative discussion about the condition.

Key Points:

• Definition: An anal fistula is an abnormal connection between the anal canal and the skin near the anus, often resulting from an infected anal gland.
• Symptoms: Pain, inflammation, rectal bleeding, and the presence of a secondary hole near the anus.
• Commonality: Twice as common in males, yet largely misunderstood and rarely discussed openly.
• Medical Intervention: Surgery is typically required to treat an anal fistula, with no easy fixes or home remedies that are effective.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [16:13]: "It's an abnormal passageway that develops inside your anus to the outside of your anus. So it's just basically like dig dug of pus and infection that shows up out of nowhere."
• John Holmberg [19:54]: "Surgery's the only option. Horrifying that your body would betray you this way."

The hosts approach the topic with a mix of humor and genuine concern, making the medical discussion both engaging and educational for listeners.

6. Personal Reflections and Humor Surrounding Health Issues

John uses humor to cope with the grim topic of anal fistulas, sharing exaggerated reactions and hypothetical scenarios to highlight the discomfort and embarrassment associated with the condition. The conversation evolves into jokes about personal experiences with health problems, emphasizing the importance of medical attention despite the awkwardness of the subject.

Key Points:

• The hosts joke about the difficulty of discussing anal health issues with loved ones, implying that such conversations often lead to strained relationships.
• John shares a personal anecdote about misusing peroxide for cold sores, resulting in severe mouth sores, to illustrate the pitfalls of self-treatment without professional guidance.
• The discussion underscores the necessity of seeking medical help for serious health conditions, despite the embarrassment or fear they may cause.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg [21:26]: "If you have any sort of. There's no the desire for any love making. At least doggy style is right out the window the second I've looked at it at its worst."
• John Holmberg [24:31]: "I'll just sit. I don't think you can call it this anymore. I'll sit Indian style. And I'll just wait for it to kill me. Like Gandhi just sitting in that room, just waiting."

These reflections provide a balance between humor and the seriousness of health issues, making the segment both relatable and informative.

7. Closing Discussions and Upcoming Events

As the episode wraps up, the hosts briefly touch upon upcoming events, including sports and local happenings. They maintain their comedic style, ensuring that even the closing segments remain entertaining.

Key Points:

• Promotion of the Action Ride Shop grand opening, including giveaways and product demonstrations.
• Discussions about international hockey matches, expressing enthusiasm and sports rivalry humor.
• Light-hearted banter about local figures and humorous takes on medical anecdotes related to others, such as weatherman Ian Schwartz's experience with a perianal abscess.

Notable Quotes:

• Gene [35:05]: "Wake Up Song time, of course, is brought to you by Action Ride Shop."
• John Holmberg [37:40]: "Holiday road's not bad for the Gabby Petito number one. Boy, are we fascinated with death."

These segments ensure that the show ends on a high and engaging note, leaving listeners anticipating the next episode.

Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully blends humor with serious topics, providing an entertaining yet informative experience for listeners. From personal anecdotes and listener stories to in-depth discussions on internet fame and health fears, John Holmberg and his co-hosts create a dynamic and engaging show that resonates with a broad audience. The inclusion of notable quotes and relatable humor ensures that even complex or uncomfortable topics are accessible and engaging.

Episode Highlights:

• Ex-Girlfriend’s Faked Kidnapping for Fame: A cautionary tale about the extremes one might go to achieve internet fame.
• Reality of Internet Success: Insightful discussion about the low probability of financial success online.
• Introduction to Anal Fistulas: Educational segment presented with humor and personal anecdotes.
• Closing with Local Events and Sports: Light-hearted end to a content-rich episode.

For those who missed this episode, John Holmberg's blend of humor, personal stories, and engaging discussions offers both laughter and valuable insights, making Holmberg's Morning Sickness Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show a must-listen.