02-20-25 - Spring Training Starts Today - Watching The Gabby Petito Doc Makes You Realize No One Can Travel For Long Periods Of Time w/Their Sig Other Cause The Odds Of A Murder Happening Are Too High

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: February 20, 2025
Title: Spring Training Starts Today - Watching The Gabby Petito Doc Makes You Realize No One Can Travel For Long Periods Of Time w/Their Sig Other Cause The Odds Of A Murder Happening Are Too High
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Release Date: February 20, 2025

---

Introduction to Spring Training

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg discussing the commencement of spring training in Major League Baseball. He expresses frustration over the early start dates and the disruptions caused by teams like the Dodgers and Cubs traveling to Japan for mid-season games.

Quote:
John Holmberg [00:33]: "It's the ultimate way of them rubbing in your face that spring training is not necessary and completely a business venture to fleece you out of your money."

John criticizes the commercialization of spring training, highlighting exorbitant parking fees and ticket prices as evidence of how the tradition has been tarnished from its more authentic roots.

Quote:
John Holmberg [02:03]: "But spring training, from what it was to what it is, and people, you know, the people who don't know what it was don't have anything to compare to."

Nostalgia for Traditional Spring Training

Bret Vesely and Brady Bogen join the conversation, reminiscing about the bygone days of spring training. They recall more affordable and community-focused experiences, contrasting them with the current state of affairs.

Quote:
Brett Vesely [03:24]: "I was spoiled for a couple of weeks when I first moved out here. Cause Brennaman was doing the Cubs."

John shares personal anecdotes about attending games with former broadcasters Harry and Steve, emphasizing the camaraderie and genuine enjoyment that preceded the commercialization.

Quote:
John Holmberg [04:12]: "There was a fun vibe about it that was totally different than give me 80 bucks, go to the games. It's just, it's just a business and I get that, but it ain't the same."

Transition to the Gabby Petito Documentary

The discussion takes a significant turn when John Holmberg delves into his thoughts on the Netflix documentary about Gabby Petito, drawing parallels between extended road trips and the psychological strain they impose on relationships.

Quote:
John Holmberg [04:58]: "Through the Gabby Petito Netflix doc yet. Man. Man. All right. Here's my review of the Gabby Petito horrible documentary. It should be illegal to be on a road trip for 50 plus days with anyone."

John argues that prolonged travel with a significant other increases the likelihood of conflict and even violence, using the tragic story of Gabby Petito and Brian Laundrie as a case study.

Quote:
John Holmberg [06:13]: "I think that you should probably consider suicide if you watch YouTube. Van Life Bloggers."

The Perils of Van Life and Extended Travel

The hosts discuss the allure and dangers of the "van life" culture, criticizing the motivations behind documenting every moment for social media and questioning the sustainability of such lifestyles.

Quote:
John Holmberg [07:32]: "They have romanticized anything. So you tell the girls, like, you know when they watch shows, when somebody gets double amputation... And I know that the world's been done. Yeah, you're gonna kill someone."

Brady Bogen concurs, sharing personal frustrations about long drives with his spouse, underscoring the emotional toll such experiences can take.

Quote:
Brady Bogen [17:09]: "Hundred days. I mean, I love my wife, but I can barely drive to the pavilion out there without wanting to kill her."

Parental Influence and Road Trip Dynamics

The conversation shifts to the influence of parenting on young adults' decisions to embark on extended trips. John criticizes modern parenting styles that encourage exploration without setting boundaries, suggesting that traditional guidance could prevent tragic outcomes.

Quote:
John Holmberg [12:41]: "It was inevitable that someone was going to kill someone."

Brett Vesely adds insights into family road trip dynamics from his own experiences, highlighting how conflicts can escalate when confined for extended periods.

Quote:
Brett Vesely [40:19]: "Other people you're traveling with speak a different language. Yeah, great. Indians."

Anecdotes and Hypothetical Scenarios

The hosts engage in humorous yet dark hypotheticals about road trips gone wrong, illustrating the precarious nature of long-term travel with others. They discuss the psychological effects of isolation and the potential for inevitable conflict.

Quote:
John Holmberg [25:09]: "You could murder me. But that should be illegal. That like you should have to."

Quote:
John Holmberg [37:53]: "Two days before you start considering this is a bad idea."

Conclusion: Lessons Learned and Final Thoughts

Wrapping up, John emphasizes that the documentary serves as a warning against extended travel with significant others, advocating for realistic expectations and recognizing the psychological limits of human relationships under strain.

Quote:
John Holmberg [42:04]: "Road trips are out. Gabby, I hate to say it, in hindsight, should have seen it come."

The episode concludes with a mix of humor and somber reflections, reinforcing the message that while adventures can be exciting, they must be approached with caution and awareness of their potential impact on relationships.

Final Quote:
John Holmberg [42:46]: "They're the only reason to go to the west side... Anyone who's going on 100 day camping trip in a Ford Transit... There you are."

---

Key Takeaways

• Commercialization vs. Tradition: The hosts lament the shift from authentic, community-focused spring training to a heavily commercialized event driven by profit.

• Psychological Strain of Extended Travel: Using the Gabby Petito documentary as a reference, the hosts argue that long-term travel with a significant other can lead to increased conflict and potential tragedy.

• Critique of Modern Van Life Culture: The episode criticizes the motivations behind documenting personal lives for social media, questioning the sustainability and psychological impact of such lifestyles.

• Parental Influence: The discussion underscores the importance of traditional parenting advice in guiding young adults away from potentially harmful decisions like extended, unstructured travel.

• Humorous Yet Cautionary Anecdotes: Through dark humor and personal stories, the hosts illustrate the challenges and potential dangers of long-term travel with others.

---

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of personal anecdotes, critical analysis, and humorous reflections on the complexities of relationships under the strain of extended travel, all while maintaining an engaging and conversational tone for listeners.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

It's Dick Toledo and new customers right now on FanDuel. Get $150 in bonus bets when your first $5 wager wins. Just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to grab $150 in college hoops bonus bets with a winning $5 bet and prepare for March on FanDuel America's 1 Sportsbook 21 plus in President Arizona first online real money wager only $5 first deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next- step or text NEXT STEP to you.

[John Holmberg]

Thought that was funny. You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Thursday. It is 5:45, the morning sickness. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett, there's Toledo. We're off and running for another perfect day, the first day of spring training. It's, it is officially starting today. Odd because they have to start a little early, but they got that thing with the Dodgers and the Cubs in a couple of weeks where they go to Japan and play two regular season games in the middle of spring training and then come back and finish spring training, get their clocks all messed up. And that is the, you know, I'm a big sports fan. I think you guys know that. But that is the ultimate way of them rubbing in your face that spring training is not necessary and completely a business venture to fleece you out of your money. If they can, if they can send the teams off during the practice to get them all ready for the regular season to play some regular season games and then come back and go, we're not ready yet. We got to. It doesn't make any sense to me. And that's why it's $40 to park at a Cubs and Dodgers, Cubs and White Sox game. That's why it's $90 tickets to sit on the lawn. They've ruined it. They've ruined spring training. I love that it's here, but man, oh man, if they made that thing an awkward mess, are you going to go to any game you like right off the bat? These are the ones to go to, like the early week when, well, I mean all the players reports there. But you can go down and watch them do stuff.

[Brady]

And I'm thinking about it. I just, you know, you get going.

[John Holmberg]

In the first weeks of March, the spring break happens and man, oh man, It's. It's impossible. It's like horrible to go.

[Brady]

Yeah. But you get near the end, and that's when your. Your favorite players play for like an.

[John Holmberg]

Inning and a half.

[Brady]

And then you get number 98 that comes in. There's like seven of them with no names on their jerseys.

[John Holmberg]

It's. You get to watch grownups practice stuff. But it's here.

[Brett]

You're going out for the outing.

[John Holmberg]

It's traditional. Yeah. You're going out. It's almost the Phoenix Open. You get drunk, you spend another $200 on a little League practice for dudes who you may or may not see. That's why I like that fall league so much. It's eight bucks. You get in there. There's no. You know, they just. They let you park, you go wander around. It's $8 a couple beers. Beers get a little pricey, but it's. It's pretty great. But spring training, from what it was to what it is, and people, you know, the people who don't know what it was don't have anything to comp to. This is what it's been for a while. But, man, growing up here, spring training was such a gem. It was so fun beyond the drinking. Like you could go and not drink and still enjoy the day and have fun at the game and it wasn't going to break you. But man, but it's back. And I'll end up going to a few games because that's what I end up doing. But I'm that. I'm the old get off my lawn guy. I remember a time when I used to wander right up, buy a ticket for 30 bucks and sit right behind home plate. Now that was a day. Now it's just.

[Brett]

I was spoiled for a couple of weeks when I first moved out here. Cause Brennaman was doing the Cubs.

[Brady]

Oh, man.

[Brett]

We'd go down to Hohokam and I.

[John Holmberg]

Sat with Harry three times. They only did a few games, but Harry demanded to come out for spring because, yeah, he wanted to drink and be in nice weather for a month before the season.

[Brett]

We'd have lunch at 1105 sharp.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brett]

Harry had to eat right there because.

[John Holmberg]

What was the steakhouse? He wanted to go. Bandera was the place. He had the sugars. He had to keep his feet alive.

[Brett]

He had to eat at 1105. I mean, get that.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta tell you right now. Tell your friend Brady that it's. We're hitting the buffet at 1105. No waiting.

[Brett]

Oh, no, you're eating, boy.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Boy, I'm eating at 1108, I'm out. He. Yeah. Harry was a special one. That's just. Baseball was different.

[Brady]

There was nothing like Harry and Steve back in the day.

[John Holmberg]

They'd show up for spring and you'd be there at spring training and look back, hey, how you doing, fans? Like, he's eight feet from me. Harry Carey's calling the game from ho. Hokum. I mean, it was, it was different. It was a. There was a fun. Oh, just a vibe about it that was totally different than give me 80 bucks, go to the games. It's just, it's just a. Again, it's a business and I get that, but it ain't the same.

[Brady]

The hell's a business.

[John Holmberg]

It's not the same. Yeah, I mean, going and I, I don't want to drive to surprise, but that's the place to watch baseball.

[Brady]

It's the best park in the. In the cactus.

[John Holmberg]

Couldn't agree more. It's the one that makes me feel most like what it is. Which is kind of like a special little moment to watch, you know, your stars and your up and coming guys. And then it's the only reason to.

[Brady]

Go to the west side.

[John Holmberg]

Well. And yeah. And even then, I'm not doing it. There's no possible way I'm doing it. I spent the evening last night. I was in and out. I slept. I didn't sleep. I slept. Felt great on my new schedule. Finding my way around it and then, you know, it was up. So through the Gabby Petito Netflix doc yet. Man. Man. All right. Here's my review of the Gabby Petito horrible documentary. It should be illegal to be on a road trip for 50 plus days with anyone. It was. It was inevitable that someone was going to kill someone.

[Brett]

There's going to be cabin fever.

[John Holmberg]

I watched. You can't live in a v voluntarily for 50 days or more and drive around all over the country and not try to kill the other person. I'm watching that thing and I'm not saying anyone deserves to be beaten, killed or otherwise. Certainly is a tragic tale. Sad all the way around. But it wasn't her. It was going to be him watching that thing. She was. She was a 22 year old. A little bit grand ideas of like wanting to be famous through Van Life vlogging. Here's another thing I think that you should do.

[Brady]

Sounds annoying.

[John Holmberg]

You should probably consider suicide if you watch YouTube. Van Life Bloggers. I didn't know until this documentary that it's in a. It's not that they weren't the only ones. I figured that Gabby and Brian were probably the first ones to think of, like, documenting their entire day living in a van. Yeah, there's a lot of them. And there's the ones who actually helped find them were other YouTube van bloggers, van life, people who drove around living in vans. And these two dreadful hippies show up at the end of the documentary. Disgusting. And the main reason it's disgusting is because one girl said, we had a video of it, it's like 500. And then I posted the video of the van. Over a million hits. Like she was still interested in how many people were in her. Were clicking on her page. It's called Red, White and Blumenthal or something. Anyway, so I'm watching this thing and they're about 20 days into it when maybe a little longer than that, when Gabby attacks Brian on the road, starts scratching him up and beating him and then he hits back. And a car drives by in Moab, Utah, and says, hey, I'm watching a guy smack a girl around here. And they just climb into a white sprinter van or whatever the thing is, a transit van. And okay, the mobile.

[Brett]

Tiny.

[John Holmberg]

They pulled them over. Women won't watch it the same way we do, I'll say that. It's a divide in the house, I'll guarantee you that. Because this dude is nuts for wanting to do what he's doing in the first place. He's possessive. He's not a good person. She's also 22 and a little bit off. Like we all, like, at Tony Roma's every.

[Brett]

And they found each other, right?

[John Holmberg]

And every. If anybody I Knew at age 22 was like, was gonna go on an all summer or hundred day road trip in a van with any of the other people at Tony Roma's, my first words would have been, one of you is gonna kill each other. There's no possible way this works out. You will kill the person. You could be married to somebody for 15 or 20 years and say, hey, let's grab a van and live in it for 100 days and drive around. You're going to kill the other person. You have to have a spot that you pull over at of the whole documentary. And I think, you know, no spoiler alerts here. Gabby doesn't make it.

[Brady]

Oh, man, I'm sorry. Thanks, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

I know on pins and needles, her parents are in the documentary and I don't know. I'm not a dad. Maybe you can back me up on this, Brady. But within a couple years of Your daughter being viciously murdered in the woods by some crazed Van Life blogger. And then he goes and takes his own life in a swamp after sp. The last thing I'm doing is a documentary about that where I sit and talk about any of it. That's a private thing.

[Brett]

I got a chance of going viral, bro.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the last lines of the thing, they give like little clips of like. And they did a nice thing. The parents did do this to raise awareness for domestic violence. Cuz there were opportunities to stop this when the cops found them and they were beaten on each other. And the cops were like, we're gonna separate you for a day. You two stay apart. This is the way it's gonna work. I could arrest one of you. I could arrest somebody for domestic violence. And when she got pulled over, that, that classic video of her standing on the side of the road with and all men noticed hard nipples for no reason. All we noticed that. But we did remember when she was another spoiler. You saw it. You remember when the video came out, it was like, oh wow, she's kind of cute. It ruined the me they started ruin the whole. Well, you're looking like, look how hard her nipples are. Like, guys saw it. Women didn't see that. Guys saw that. And you'll go back and you'll look at. If you didn't, you're like, oh, that shirt's completely see through. Like, this is kind of hot. She was the aggressor in the attack on him. He, he wasn't by any means innocent, but the two of them together were kind of going the wrong direction. Cops could have thrown one in jail, whatever. So they start. The parents did start a nice thing for domestic violence. Like what cops have to ask if they're called to that situation to get through 11 steps. I think that's really great. But then at the end of the documentary, it said this video was on her page before she died. And it only had 500 views now. Over 7 million. Well, yeah. Well, I guess she got what she wanted then. I mean it took some doing.

[Brett]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

It took a little push to go. You know what's gonna put these numbers over the top? You could murder me. But that should be illegal. That like you should have to. I'm not all about like regulations and I'm for freedom and stuff, but anybody who's going on 100 day camping trip in a Ford Transit that they made themselves a little bed in the back and little solar panels to keep their. And you're gonna spend that much Time on the road to somebody. There they are.

[Brady]

Oh, nice.

[John Holmberg]

Brett. Not.

[Brady]

Oh, that's not what we were talking about.

[John Holmberg]

She's been murdered. No. Her nipples are harder. Yes, very nice. But it's a tragic story.

[Brett]

It is.

[Brady]

Well, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Someone was going to kill someone else. Now, the documentary also strikes out to me because the real story of this documentary, after you watch, oh, they were on the road for 41 days. I'd kill anybody I'm on the road with for 41 days. I'm not getting out of that. Not being a murderer. That's enough to drive you. American Psycho, one or the other was going to kill somebody. The parents of Brian Laundrie are the real documentary because they. I didn't know about this, but the mom wrote him a letter after he came back that said, burn. After reading that said, if you ever need to dispose of a body, you call me. I'll bring a shovel and dig the hole. You know, she's the laundry's family. That is Brett family. I thought of you immediately.

[Brett]

That's my mom.

[John Holmberg]

That's some over the top mothering. I don't know if that's helicopter mom got a shovel on it. But it's definitely, you know, army corps of Engineers mom. That's for sure. So she wrote this letter. He didn't burn it. He kept it. But he came back and the cops knocked on the door and said, hey, Van's in the driveway here. Gabby's been missing for three weeks. The parents have called, wanted to do a check and see. We don't know where Brian is. We haven't heard from him either. He goes, oh, Brian's here. He's like, oh, is Gabby with him? I'm not talking about anything. Here's my attorney's card. We weren't suspicious until now. Like, we didn't know what was going on till now. Those people refused to talk on the documentary. Those people are the ones that need, like, that's the story. And they just. To me, they swung and missed. As far as getting the story out, I do.

[Brett]

Mom probably said the whole time, don't go on this trip. You're going to kill.

[John Holmberg]

You're going to kill it. You're going to go nuts. I don't want to disparage a victim. Shame. But if you told me right now, Ronnie and I are going on 100, you're going to kill that bitch. You better not do that. You're going to. You're going to hate her in the first two weeks. You can't be in a Car. I don't care how nice the car is with anyone for 30 solid days driving through Utah. You don't think about the downtime ask bands make. Oh, they have to start. They'll either each other or start doing heroin. Something terrible comes out of that. I didn't know they were on the road that long. I didn't know this was going on that long. And camping, taking showers and truck stops for four bucks at a pop.

[Brett]

And didn't he say they kind of went their own way? Is that, I mean, when he was at home.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, his first thing was that, that they got into a fight and he left her there. But he also said he flew home and was like, well, how's her van in your parking lot? You. Where is she? And it's registered her. So I mean it was an obvious F up. And he's dumb and there's nothing about him that's good, you know. And again, it's parenting. You got a kid who's 22 years old. Don't pull the whole, she's an adult. She can do what she wants. Anytime she's making a decision that dumb, you step in and go, no, you're not going on a forever road trip with that bald 22 year old. That's just not a thing. A bald 22 year old. I'll tell you from experience, I didn't go bald when I was 22. But it certainly. The signs were showing. Not the most stable individual, not a lot of, not a lot of security running around with me and my future at that moment. Because so any girl that I liked, I was going to be possessive of because she was accepting me while I molted. Morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness. Then I got used to being bald and I got some confidence based on that. But I was molting. I was a molting man. Hair was falling out. I was looking crazier and crazier by the minute. And so, yeah, any girl that I was with, let's go on a road trip. Like, yes, let's forever disappear from people we know. Well, now return bald. It was always on my mind. He's too bald. He's too messed up to have. And of course he wants to live in the woods. He's insecure about his. I'm telling you, baldness had a lot to do with this. He was insecure. This cute girl liked him. I don't want to be around people anymore. People tease me a lot about looking like I'm 40 and I'm 22. You're going to kill someone. I'm telling you right now. If you've got a family trip planned for more than 14 days in a car and you don't get to stay at a resort five times in that 14 days, you're going to kill someone. You cannot do it. Cannot do it. But watching. It's the number one documentary on Netflix. It's all over. It's kind of worth watching because it is interesting. It is voyeuristic. You're gonna peer into lives that you already know, end poorly. And it is. How did it get there? Doesn't really show you how you get there. But I walked away saying this was going.

[Brett]

I can understand how this happens.

[John Holmberg]

This was. Yeah, I. I sort of understood why everybody snapped. Can't be done. You're basically. You know what happens to prisoners when they stuff them in the hole and they come out a little bit crazy. It was in 12, 15 days in the hole. Yeah. You're doing that on purpose in a car. You're stuffing yourself, isolating in this weird little. And you never escape it. And then you drive off into the deep woods and you sit in that car with that same person while they edit YouTube things and say, we're in Moab and we're having a nice day and there's nothing interesting about what's going on. And money's probably getting a little tight.

[Brett]

There's a great movie years ago with Kevin Bacon, where he was in prison. They put him in solitary for like a year.

[John Holmberg]

Year.

[Brett]

It's based on a true story.

[John Holmberg]

He's gonna go crazy. Yeah. You can't. You cannot self isolate. You can't isolate like that and then have another person there and get along the whole time. And. And then also the stink. Like, you're 22. She's 22. You've got some hormones brewing in that situation. You're in the back of this van pounding away. You're not getting good showers on the reg, so you know there's some stink involved. I would tell you right now. You take homeless people. Don't start off like that. I think it's like your 10th in the street. And then you start saying, your brain starts going goofy on you. They don't all. They're not all on drugs. Some of them just go a little bananas because of the situation. Living outside all the time.

[Brady]

Hundred days. I mean, I love my wife, but I can barely drive to the pavilion out there without wanting to kill her. So, I mean, Jesus couldn't imagine being in A van.

[John Holmberg]

If in the past, Megan has driven us somewhere, I've wished for death, but we're not going fast enough to die.

[Brett]

I know two families that did the RV thing with their three kids first. Let's just take a year off.

[John Holmberg]

How many of them they're not to get.

[Brett]

Both are not together, but it wasn't. One was closer to after the road trip. The other. Eventually it just. Yeah, look, it had to have something.

[John Holmberg]

It has everything to do with it. You cannot love someone so much to want to spend all that time with them. Nelson Mandela was in jail for like 30 years, and his wife stuck with him until they lived together. Nelson Mandela went through God knows what for all that time in that jail. When he got out, he lived with his wife for 18 months. He's like, I can't take it. I'm out. And he got out of. He divorced her after he was free.

[Brett]

Then you see all the, you know, RVs rolling in town now, but those are bigger coaches and I guess they can park them and they get out.

[John Holmberg]

Of there and there's a shower. And I'm not saying RVs, but you got to limit that.

[Brett]

The van, it's a different bird.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't matter the time. You can have the RV. You can't tool around with one person for 100 days.

[Brady]

Nope.

[John Holmberg]

20 days. 20 days, you start seeing. You start. Start having fever dreams about them not being there anymore. I guarantee you that. And then about 30 days in, you start. You've had probably well thought out plans on how you're going to do this. By day 40, 45, there's definitely been a punch thrown. There's no question. You're getting out of two months of driving around in a car with somebody. One punch is not thrown. Gabby was the first one to toss. To throw chingazos. She was the one chucking hands. So you watch it and you're like, where were the people in their lives to say, worst idea ever? And I think it's the YouTube generation. I think it's the. I want to be a YouTube star. And parents are like, I think it's Grace. He wants to be moms that are friends with their daughters, want them to. I know a few people that have daughters that they would allow this. I think it's going to be great because they think their daughters are extra special and the world needs to know what they had for breakfast. And so when the daughter's like, I'm going to show everybody to be a famous. No, you're not. You're. You're basically a dopey nomad that nobody cares about. You're a hippie. And hippies that. That world's been done. Yeah, you're gonna kill someone. So you know summer's coming. Spring breaks right around the corner.

[Brett]

On fire a little bit this summer because fish goes on tour.

[John Holmberg]

Well, at least it gives them something to do with other people.

[Brady]

Oh, they all smell anyway.

[Brett]

September will be busy months.

[John Holmberg]

No, and that's fine. An event is fine. Living in it. I watched those tiny house people argued with Rich. Remember Toledo was talking about wanting to do that. Imagine how dead his son would be if Toledo followed through. But I'm a good friend. And I said, you're an absolute idiot for thinking we're thinking about maybe getting a tiny house. The whole family gonna pile into one of those 300 square foot boxes in somebody's backyard. And he said. And then he got mad that no one would visit. He would have killed his son. There's no doubt in my mind. We'd have been talking about our old.

[Brett]

Brothers living up in the bunk house.

[John Holmberg]

He would have. Oh, those two would have killed each other. No family loves. You're my best friend. No family loves each other that much. No, they wouldn't be. Other than Theta Menendez. Toledo. Did we just become best friends? Are we gonna kill your dad? We're gonna kill your dad dead in these woods for dragging us out here in this little box. Yup. Morning, Mr. Toledo. And today is the last time anyone's ever gonna say that to you. The two of those idiots would have plotted to murder Toledo and they'd have been right because that's not supporting a family. I watched that tiny house show and the hippies had three kids. We took our kids out of school. We thought it'd just be great to see the country. And they bought a goddamn school bus and put beds and a kitchen in it. And it wasn't a good kitchen. And a bucket. The bucket's the giveaway here that someone's gonna get murdered. They're pulling over to you. Try. You try for 41 days in those side. Those pull off places, those. Those restrooms on the road. Try. Try that four or five times a day every day for a month. Now multiply it by two months, three months, you're someone's getting killed. So I watched that and I'm like, well, I feel bad for Gabby. She's a sweet young girl. Didn't know any different. But this was inevitable. Some one of these two was going to kill the other mother. And it Just happened. And I know I'll get back. There's a victim and she's. Nope, nope, and nope. Murder. It was inevitable. So. Yes. Did I watch it? Did I enjoy it? It was good. I like.

[Brady]

As good as OJ?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

OJ was awesome. OJ's got so many angles.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And nobody deserves to die.

[Brett]

The jaw drops a lot more. I haven't seen that. Oh, There's a couple OJ's.

[John Holmberg]

An adult who could have just avoided it all. There's no avoiding it when you're in a van with somebody for two months. It's just. You're gonna kill someone.

[Brady]

But you ought to know better when you see the Home Depot bucket there with a. With a roll of toilet paper next to it.

[John Holmberg]

And out. Yeah. Everybody says how much fun it is. Let's go camping. There's a reason you only can for a day or two.

[Brady]

I don't go at all.

[John Holmberg]

I don't either. It's terrible. It's just. And. And when you're. When you're up and grown. Why am I doing this? Like, this is only fun for a child.

[Brett]

A growing up weekend's awesome when you're a kid.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Because you don't have any of the life responsibilities. It's so. I don't know.

[Brady]

And they're coming in. Hey, John, I can't ride my wife to Flagstaff. What? I want in the killer.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. Every guy and girl have been in a fight on a two hour drive.

[Brett]

You know, you missed the exit.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Brett]

If you get one, it'd be nice.

[John Holmberg]

To tell me, you know, didn't even. Didn't even cross my goddamn mind that she might have been a side. I would have known that she might have been sitting there going, why are you going so fast? Brian, the van. You're knocking down all of our dishes. Well, you put the dishes in the box like I told you to put the dishes instead of up. They don't have to be displayed. Brian. I want a nice home. I want to kill you. I'm gonna kill you. You can't do it. I didn't think about her passenger seat etiquette. And there's little videos in there where she gets a little snippy with them. And I'm not saying it's murderous snippy, but I'm saying that adds up over time. When you're sitting there like, bitch gonna yell at me every time we start a video. He's. He's not normal. No one who wants to do that is. And I think she taps the nerves every once in a while because she's 22. You can't spend that much time with a 22 year old at all. Even your kids, your 22 year old kids, you want them out of the house. They. That's the reason you want them to move away. Toledo was excited that his deadbeat son moved out. And now he's like, ah, it's got, it's gotta come back, it's gotta live with me again. He doesn't want him in there anymore. Imagine those two on the road together, Rich and the boy. I give him a week, he'd kill him.

[Brady]

And he's paying for the kid to stay away. I mean, he's paying the rent.

[John Holmberg]

This is good parenting. He's like, look, I'm. We're at the age, we're at the age now where I'm probably thinking about killing you and it's getting fairly serious, my murderous rage towards you. So let me pay for you.

[Brett]

Let's go on a summer road trip.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, let's. Let's get you in the car and never stop being together. Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. I didn't know the full Gabby Petito story. All I knew was cute girl and they paint him lunatic boy. And he's not normal. Again, I'm not saying Brian Laundrie is a victim here. He's not. He was as dumb and, and weird as her, but he.

[Brett]

Cabin fever and getting into fights is one thing, but that took it to the next level.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you think? Yeah, murder.

[Brett]

Well, there's a difference. I'm just saying that guy that doesn't. I mean, there's people that, you know that go through those stages. Bands work it out.

[John Holmberg]

They're just, look, just look if they could kill it. Bands work it out. Because it's not just two. Simon and Garfunkel weren't going on the road in a van together. Every day without a stop. You have to have like stops. Like we have a show, we have a purpose to go to the next place that's actually going to deliver on something. These two were just driving around aimlessly and videotaping it. Like someone else might be interested in them doing nothing. And unfortunately there's an audience for that, evidently. And the audience is other people doing the same thing. And look, they interview two nomads in the middle of this thing. You're like, those two just as crazy as Gabby and Brian. They're gonna end up killing each other too. Can't be done. So if you're thinking about it, Spring break. There's a reason why we don't get three, four months off a year. Deep down, everybody knows if we did that, we'd remember Covid. We all just drank ourselves into comas. I spent too much time with her telling me, I don't want to be here anymore. She's always home. She's always here, and she's looking at you going, he's never out of the house. It was always home. Like, that's the worst thing that can happen to your relationship, is the other one never leaves. They're always there. She's always here. Do you have anything to do? Do you. We're gonna kill each other. Let's go on a road trip and trap ourselves in a little box for a month. No. I'm gonna kill you. And he had scratches all over his face, and he was beat up pretty good. And the cops were like, you're the victim here. And he was. Women won't see that. Women will watch that differently. And it's. And it's probably. And there's. They're probably right, too. Both sides can look at this. But my basic takeaway was it's look. It's bad parenting. It's just. I get it. They're 22. They're allowed to do what they want. But at a certain point, the word no comes into play. I'm just. No. Not gonna give you extra money. I'm not supporting this. You have to be parents. That. My parents are jerks. They won't support my YouTube vlogger v. Right. Because I'm an adult and I understand how the world works. You're 22. You're not driving around the world. You're an idiot. Sit down. Get a job. And she was working at Taco Bell, and she was kicking ass, but she was saving money for the van life. Idiots. Idiots.

[Brett]

I've seen it work in a way that basically said, the parents said, all right, yeah, one year to figure it out.

[John Holmberg]

Driving around in a van.

[Brett]

Not. Well, if that's the case where they want to be a vlog or I want to be an actor or whatever, I want to go to la. I'll have.

[John Holmberg]

Help you out for a while.

[Brett]

For a year, right?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you can go.

[Brett]

Whatever that's called.

[John Holmberg]

Ambition. And you might need some help. Parents should still help, but not when it's a terrible idea. If your kid says, I want to be an actor, moving to la, I'm like, are you sure you're ready for this? I'll help you out with that. If you're going to force this. But if. If it's not working out in a year, I can't. You can't drain me, right? That's ambition. That's a goal. John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness. If Kirby said to you, hey, no end date. No real goal here outside of hoping for clicks, but I'm going to drive around with this dude that you guys kind of think is a little strange anyway, and we're just going to traverse the planet on. In a van and maybe. No, no, no, that's bad. You got to tell her. No, she has to hear. No, kids need to hear that more often. There's this new thing called what are they? FAFO parenting, which I love. It's basically F A F O. And it's around and find out. And parents are not telling their kids no. They're just like, you're gonna hurt yourself. Go ahead. And it's the f around and find out parenting. And that's the pendulum swinging, which I love. I don't want. But parents need to start telling kids, oh, you're a idiot. That's a terrible idea. But they don't do that anymore, Especially moms. They don't. They don't. Mom's job isn't to tell your kids that they're stupid, and that's the dad's job. So again, it goes back to the single parent world where the mom's like, I think every idea you have is wonderful and you should. You should explore all the opportunities while you're young. Nope. My dad would come in and go, what the hell you want to do? You and Jackie want to do what? We're getting Ford Transit van, dad. And we're gonna. We're gonna save up. We're gonna drive around endlessly for no reason, and we're gonna film ourselves doing it. And people will watch. Let me ask you a quick question there. Why the. Anyone want to watch your balding giant head drive around the country when they can do it themselves? You don't understand the way the world works, old man. I'm not buying you a dumbass band. Get it. Go back to Tony Roma's and clean tables, you dumb piece of. And then 20 years later, I've been like, hey, thanks for that whole thing about not letting me go on that road trip with that lunatic that I thought I loved. You're right. Yeah. Whatever happened to her? Oh, started stealing drugs from a hospital. You were right. 100% across the board. Right on the money And I'm glad you didn't learn the lesson the hard way, because you'd have killed her, boy. I saw it in your eyes. You're right. I would have killed her, Dad. I would. We tried to go to Sedona once.

[Brady]

You couldn't make it to Sedona.

[John Holmberg]

We turned around, me and that girl drove my sister's purple Mitsubishi Eclipse. And she said something around Bumblebee about living together. Keep in mind, I believe she was 19 and I was like 22, 23. And I had the wherewithal as a grown up to think of my dad's face, his hands smacking his forehead. If I go home and say, we've decided we're going to live together. Where? The basement. Here at the house. You dumb piece of. You don't have any money and a place to go. She's a hostess at a restaurant. You're not. This is dumb. He wouldn't have supported that at all. Now cut the grass. But when she said we should live together, it seemed like a great idea. Because the sex was so plentiful. I was a bit blinded by that. It was the first time I'd ever had that going on in my life. It was like somebody bought me a brand new thing. Like I had a spaceship I could play with every once in a while. Eventually you get tired of that. But for a little bit, I was. All the knobs and buttons that I'd never seen or touched before were at my disposal. So all of her ideas seemed pretty good. But I told her, somewhere in Bumblebee, I'm like, we're not gonna move in together. What, are you crazy? And I just kept driving, thinking there's some logic for her. Right there. That's good. That'll pipe her down. And then I just hear. I'm like, oh, what did I do? What did I say? There is this. Do I not get to touch your. Later today? Did I just wreck this? Because that's why we're going to Sedona to bang in the red rocks. I thought we were both on the. I guess you don't love me like I thought. I don't want to move in with anybody yet. I'm. I can barely. I can barely feed myself. We had to borrow my sister's car to drive up here. You talking about living together? That's responsibilities. I didn't mean to. Tomorrow, my. Oh, God, here we go. And so I kind of. All right, well, we'll talk about it. Well, does this mean that you don't have intentions on marrying Me either. I'm like, you're 19. I'm like, oh, boy. But again, later, she's giving me a mouth hug, and I'm like, I should marry her. I'm marry her. She seems like a Marian kind.

[Brady]

Dan don't know what he's talking about.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Dad's an idiot. Yeah. But we made it to Bumblebee before the tears. By the time we got about halfway between Bumblebee and Sedona, she starts mouthing off about not wanting to go anymore. Of course, I pipe up, well, fine. Then we're not going. This is a big waste of a day. Turn around then. Fine, I'll show her. We've whipped around, and now we're in a purple Mitsubishi Eclipse, heading back. No words. Maybe 90 minutes. Maybe 90 minutes. Pack up the car and leave. 90 minutes. I wanted to kill her. She wanted to kill me. Had we gone 41 days, there'd have been a documentary about me killing some girl up there and probably would have made it maybe to Strawberry. We gone to Sedona and then worked our way over towards Pace, and by the time we got it, I'd have killed her. All you start doing is looking around. You do it on a road trip. We went to that thing out there in Kearney that time. And driving back through all the desert, as a man, all you think about is, man, there's a lot of places to hide a body out here. Oops. What the hell's going on? My brain. Why am I thinking about that? Because you're built with it. You're built with it. It's inside you. A logical person fights that. An illogical person goes, yeah, I'll remember this for when I inevitably kill her. And don't think they're not thinking it too. No, 100% thinks about killing you constantly.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. Daily she just texts me, I'm gonna kill you now. After I made that comment, I'm like, but it's true.

[John Holmberg]

It is. And they're. They have romanticized anything. So you tell the girls, like, you know when they watch shows, when somebody gets double amputation, and they always, would you stay with me if I lost both my legs? And they expect us to say yes. And, like, that's. Nothing would. Nothing would stop me from loving you. I wouldn't want to push you around at all. No, no. I'd be gone. You get. You get, like, fungus in your fingernails. And I'm gonna start thinking about it getting out. What do you want? And I know that there's women sitting on the couch Watching this Gabby Petit. We could make it out. We could be in a car together. I could be trapped with you forever in a small space, like, that is nobody's goal. And every guy's like, yeah, that would be great. They romanticize it. And you would say, like, what? You told Mathia, even though she knows, hey, I'd probably kill you on a. On a car ride across the nation. Probably kill me, too. And you'd probably want it. And they'd be like, no, that's not it. Because in their minds, they want it to be a Harlequin romance. Deep down, they know it's the same mentality as when I went down during the MeToo movement and told all the ladies here there was absolutely no chance of me sexually harassing anyone in this building. And I said it out loud, like, I know. Me too. Me too's going on. I look around this room, and I can assure you, ladies, it's a safe work environment, because I would. I wouldn't even consider sexually harassing any of you in this room. And what's the first thing I heard? Hey, you like, Wait a second. I thought it was offended by. They were mad at me. The delivery was, you know, hilarious, but they were mad. Oh, you're not gonna sexually harass me. How dare you. What? Isn't that the goal here? This whole movement is that dudes climb on board? No chance I sexually. Especially you. No chance I sexually harass you. Such an asshole. Here's my ranking of people in the building that I would probably sexually harass first. And I'm telling you, it's. If you're down at the bottom of this thing, you could walk around naked, not worry about me.

[Brady]

Moynihan, you got no shot.

[John Holmberg]

Moynihan was second of being sexually harassed. All those broadcasts to all the other.

[Brett]

Goals they have on the wall, right?

[John Holmberg]

But I'd be like, ah, this one would be mouthy. This one's a. This one's. She's going to call the police. All that stuff. See, I. They all have romanticized ideas of the Hallmark movies. Wreck it. Sexual harassment happens in Hallmark movies, and they end up falling for the guy because he's persistent.

[Brady]

God damn that Lacey Cher.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, geez, she's wrecked a lot of brain. A lot of brain. Yeah. Ronnie would carve you up and hang you over the back of a. Like, you'd be. You'd be all done. Take a while, it would. But she'd relish every second, every single noise that that serrated knife made as it carved you from nuts to throat like a two pound trout would give her great joy.

[Brady]

She'd put a beer can in your mouth just like an apple could.

[John Holmberg]

They'd find you decorated in the woods. But she took time. It took energy and time. And you know what would happen? They'd consider her crazy. But we all know 20 days on the road with you, all that farting, the bucket is always full. Smells like the bucket's full again. God damn it, Brady. We share the bucket. Well, I don't know what you want me to do with it. Dump it out at the Stuckey's.

[Brett]

Are you crazy?

[John Holmberg]

She'd kill you in a second. I give you maybe two days. Two days before down a road trip. Before what? Two days of a planned. This is never ending. Two days before you start considering this is a bad idea.

[Brady]

Because Brady's a nice guy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Vacation, the movie Vacation. Chevy Chase snaps. He loses it, he's gonna kill him. You'll be whistling Tippity Doo doo your assholes because you're so had. That speech is every and every man's laughing. Oh. Yep, that's what a road trip is. Eventually, you want to kill everyone in the car.

[Brady]

My dad said that. I mean, it was not in those words, but pretty much that.

[John Holmberg]

How many times on a road trip did your mother have the job of beating you?

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. She'd swing around the back seat.

[John Holmberg]

That was because he couldn't reach. He would have done it if he wasn't busy. Thank God it was her. My mom went wild.

[Brett]

Well, even because you're the only kid. It's not like you're getting in a fight with a sibling.

[Brady]

Yeah, but that was the whole thing. You're. I'm bored. I gotta pee. I gotta do this, I gotta do that.

[John Holmberg]

Eventually, mom snaps, goes wildcat over that bench seat.

[Brady]

Mm.

[John Holmberg]

Starts kicking your ass in the back. You gotta pee. We just left a goddamn rest stop.

[Brady]

That was my trips gurney.

[John Holmberg]

Punch him in the face.

[Brady]

It was so bad, he made me start peeing in, like, pop bottles and stuff like that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Oh, not stopping.

[John Holmberg]

My sister and I would fight within, like, an hour of the trip starting. My mom would do the. Knock it off. My dad would threaten to pull over and kill us. Like an hour at 65, 70 minutes in, there's already been a death threat to children. And then another 45 minutes before my mom has actually made contact with whomever she didn't have a target. It was a wild swing, swinging, eyes closed, somebody's getting hit. And it taught us a lesson for about eight minutes. And then my sister. My sister and I made weapons out of candy and would stab each other in the backseat like a couple of prisoners. The stick candies became. Once we discovered you can suck, sharpen those, we went right into, you know, cholo mentality in the worst part of cell block. We made shivs within the first Stuckey stop. The first pee stops, like, ah, I want to send him in one. And who could suck the shiv faster because somebody's getting knifed in that back seat?

[Brady]

Good point, John. How many murders do you think happened on the Oregon Trail back in the.

[John Holmberg]

Day could you grasp? Where are we going? There's a mountain. Joe, shut up. I don't know where this trail goes. Goddamn hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

[Brett]

Other people you're traveling with speak a different language.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, great. Indians.

[Brett]

You sure we'll go this way?

[John Holmberg]

Look. Savage Indians. You did this. This is your fault. I told you to turn left back there. I don't know. I'm cold. Oh, God damn it. Kids were eating your mother.

[Brett]

I remember a tough, tough summer trip was when my dad's been driving. Most of the time we're going. I think it's Arkansas. And he's like, I'll take a rest here, take a little nap for an hour. Bunny, you take over.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, boy.

[Brett]

She missed an exit 60 miles the wrong way. So you had to backtrack.

[John Holmberg]

My mom was afraid to wake my dad up because she missed an exit coming to Pennsylvania one night. From Morgantown, West Virginia, to Mount Jewett, Pennsylvania is about two and a. Two hours, maybe a little longer. I don't remember. It felt like forever in the car. But my dad was tired because he worked all day, so we'd leave at night. And the last thing he'd say to my mom, there's a lot of deer out here, so just be careful out in the passenger seat. And my mom's driving, and I was the only one that I could stay up forever. And so I would stay up and talk to my mom. And I just remember we're going and going and going. And then I just heard, like, there's no road under us anymore.

[Brady]

Where are we?

[John Holmberg]

She hit, like, some orange cone thing, thinking that she was on the right exit. But it was just this thing that led us to this half road that was sort of made of asphalt and dirt at the same time. And it was pitch black, dark. I'm like, oh, she's gonna kill us. I see what's going on. She started to cry, and my dad knew it from his deep sleep. I think the first words out of the sleep were what the going on. Because he knew that the road shouldn't make noise yet. Where are we? Oh, God damn it. Get out. I don't know where we are. It's not my fault. Oh, yeah, it's not your fault. I was asleep. You were driving. You're on the. Oh, yes, it is somewhat my fault from having nothing to do with this. I don't know where we are. Well, that makes two of us.

[Brady]

God damn it.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to tell. I don't know where we are. In the middle of nowhere. We're gonna wait for the sun to come up and we just. And that was maps.

[Brett]

How much longer?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, maps.

[Brady]

Back in the day, we didn't have.

[John Holmberg]

A map because he knew where his parents lived. We didn't. You left a seven year old and a lady who'd never driven this road before in charge of the situation and two kids with shivs in the back seat. Now you're in trouble anyway. Road trips are out. Gabby, I hate to say it, in hindsight, should have seen it come. Yeah. Second, you bought that Ford Transit and didn't. Second, it's because you're an idiot. You're 22. You're an idiot. You're an idiot who thinks that's how things can work forever. And you're just dumb. So Brian and Gabby died because of the road trip, not because of anything else? I don't think he was a murderous lunatic, but they're gonna paint him that way. I think he's a dude who went on a road trip with a 22 year old for too long and inevitably someone had to die. That's my take. There's my review. Four out of five stars. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 602-585-9800. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD, Wagah, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.