02-20-25 - Thursdays w/Former Dallas Cowboy OLineman Dale Hellestrae - Dale Would Help Brady Check For A Fistula - Dale Doesn't Understand John's Fear Of Showering In Public And Plays A Round Of Beat My Dick

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary (02-20-25)

Guest Introduction: Dale Hellstray In the February 20, 2025 episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD, host John Holmberg welcomes former Dallas Cowboy offensive lineman Dale Hellstray as the special guest. Dale joins the panel alongside regular contributors Brady Bogen and Bret Vesely, engaging in their trademark blend of humor, candid discussions, and provocative topics.

Main Discussions

1. Medical Concerns and Fistula Checks The episode opens with a lighthearted yet candid conversation about medical issues, particularly focusing on Dale’s offer to help Brady check for a fistula. This segment delves into the discomfort and stigmas surrounding personal health issues.

   • John Holmberg (02:07): "If he came to work, if he came to work at all and goes, you're the only one I want to see. There's something wrong."
   • Dale Hellstray (01:19): "Pull out that Ravencrest, pop that blade and jab it."

2. Fear of Public Showering A significant portion of the episode centers around John's expressed fear of showering in public spaces, such as locker rooms. The panel discusses the social discomfort and personal boundaries related to communal bathing areas.

   • John Holmberg (03:05): "I would probably be the last line of the."
   • Brady Bogen (03:47): "I don’t love anything that much... I’m not doing a DIY on a butthole of anybody."

3. "Beat My Dick" Game Segment The hosts engage in their popular game segment, "Beat My Dick," where Dale Hellstray challenges Brady and John in a rapid-fire round of naming countries based on cities provided. This competitive segment adds an element of excitement and humor to the show.

   • Dale Hellstray (30:22): "What are you here to do, Dale?"
   • Brady Bogen (30:27): "No, you're here to beat my dick."

Notable Quotes and Moments

• On Personal Boundaries and Humor The blend of humor and candidness is evident as panelists navigate sensitive topics with levity.

  • Brady Bogen (04:10): "I can't carry him out, and I know he's not going to last long, so that's just a dumb error on my, like, hiking to the sign in the parking lot and back, maybe."

• Road Trip Anecdotes John shares a personal story about a road trip mishap involving his wife, Brooke, which leads to humorous exchanges about bathroom emergencies.

  • John Holmberg (22:54): "So she looks down. Pee my pants."
  • Brady Bogen (25:25): "I'll be fine. We'll go wherever. However long you want to go, we'll go."

• Sports Commentary and Rivalries The discussion shifts to sports, where the hosts analyze recent games, rivalries, and the intensity of athletic competitions.

  • Brady Bogen (32:03): "This thing they got going on in hockey might be the greatest invention accidentally that they've ever put together."
  • John Holmberg (35:28): "I do. No, I want USA to win. I'd love to see three more fights in the first 10 seconds."

Closing Remarks and Promotions Towards the end of the episode, the hosts briefly return to promotions, mentioning Prestige Billiards and their ongoing offers, before segueing back into personal anecdotes and lighthearted banter.

Conclusion This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness showcases the show's dynamic interplay between hosts and guest Dale Hellstray. Through a mix of personal stories, humorous debates, and engaging games, the show delivers entertainment while tackling topics that resonate with their Arizona-based audience. Notable for its candid discussions and witty exchanges, the episode remains true to the show's mission of entertaining, questioning, and occasionally disturbing its listeners.

Transcript

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[Brady]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? This segment is canceled. It's canceled. Canceled? No cancel. You come in here and ruin the day immediately.

[John]

You got to tell me if Brady was in agony. Is it John? I'm gonna die.

[Brady]

Bye. You've had a good run, kid. He's 60. He's done enough. That's plenty of time to have gotten. He's not bringing anything to the party.

[John]

I mean, he's got tears in his eyes. Johnny, help me. He needs me to fix his butthole.

[Dale Hellstray]

Pull out that Ravencrest, pop that blade and jab it.

[Brady]

No. I'll give you the Raven Crest diy, but if your butthole's broken and I'm the last line of help, you're gonna die from that. I'm not looking. If I'm in a situation where Brady has his butthole out and I'm, like, looking at it, I'm killing myself first. Why are we in this spot?

[John]

Well, because he's your buddy. He's your friend.

[Brady]

Nobody's. I'm not close enough to anybody.

[Dale Hellstray]

You'd pop it right there.

[John]

Brady. I'd do just about anything for you.

[Brady]

See?

[John]

For love.

[Brady]

So it's like the Meatloaf song. I'd do anything for love. But I won't do that. I will not do that. My God, can you imagine?

[John]

Brady put his. Put his foot up on the. On the side of the couch here and spreading them. No.

[Brady]

Why are you showing that great. Johnny, stop.

[John]

Help me.

[Brady]

If he came to work, if he came to work at all and goes, you're the only one I want to see. There's something wrong.

[John]

I couldn't tell my wife, but I could tell you.

[Brady]

Past four hospitals, the dude at QT.

[Dale Hellstray]

Wouldn'T do it anyway.

[Brady]

Dale. Hell astray is here and off the air Comes in spouting off nonsense immediately. He's brought to you by our friends at Prestige Billiards. If you want to get on over there, use meathead98 as the code in your promo code when you're on the website. And get 10% off whatever it is you want out of that place. Prestige billiards. Az.com or one of their three stores, Scottsdale, Mesa or Glendale.

[John]

I thought he was coming in and say we had to go to break.

[Brady]

No, we do. We do now. I do. I want to go to break. I think he's right. I think it's perfect. Dear Christ. Yeah. And you. You would never do that for like your wife Brooke comes and has something wrong with her butthole. You're done. You're not fixing that. Oh, would she even think of you?

[John]

I would be. I would probably be the last line of the.

[Brady]

If she said fix this.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Or look, take a look at this. Does this look infected? Does this look infected? And she pulls her pants down. Are you interested? So are you leaving? I'm leaving you.

[John]

You would leave?

[Brady]

Leaving, leaving, Hang now.

[Dale Hellstray]

I don't believe.

[John]

No, I don't think you would.

[Brady]

Are you kidding?

[John]

John? You'd like to watch Dr. Zit Popper or whatever somebody.

[Brady]

I. Not a butthole. They never show that episode. Sure, I'll help you pop it up. Boil on your back.

[John]

Your love not.

[Brady]

I don't love anything that much.

[John]

Sicker. Poor, healthier, richer, Bubbles.

[Brady]

Even if it's my dog. And that's what I love that more than any person on the planet. Any of my dogs. I take it to the vet. I'm not doing a DIY on a butthole of anybody.

[Dale Hellstray]

But if there is no other person.

[John]

Yeah. If your dog's walking around, where am I? Your dog's walking around with something hanging out at its rear end. And the vet's close till next Wednesday.

[Brady]

Vets don't do it.

[John]

You're doing something.

[Brady]

There's a thousand vets in the city. There's emergency vets. There's 24 hours.

[Dale Hellstray]

Options.

[Brady]

You gotta pull it. There are options. There's always. I am not one butthole.

[John]

We gotta get this thing release.

[Brady]

Yeah. I don't know what we've done. My dog's got something wrong with his ass like right then and there that I have to. While this is an immediate.

[John]

Tried a new food. You tried something and it's just not.

[Brady]

A blew out that day. That's why they have vets. That's exactly why they have vets. That's Exactly.

[John]

Vets are on strike for four days.

[Brady]

Yeah, well, then I guess bus will suffer for about four days.

[John]

That's ridiculous.

[Brady]

I'd put some salve on it. Peroxide. Yeah. There you go.

[John]

So you touch it.

[Brady]

No, I'd have gloves or something.

[John]

Well, you can gloves out when you.

[Brady]

When you yank on a person, they're. They're capable of choice. They can do that themselves. They can get mirrors. They understand cognitive reasoning. A dog's just like, my butt hurts. He doesn't know. Dog would be fine. You. I. I can't. And if you had that. You've got a fistula going on back there. You call her in there to take a look. Don't you think that there's a reciprocal nature in the. If I show her my butthole problem, she's going to start showing me hers.

[John]

Well, hopefully she doesn't have any.

[Brady]

Exactly. Because you're leaving otherwise. That's for her sake.

[John]

I wouldn't go that far.

[Brady]

Hey, what would have to go wrong with her back door for you to go? I'm not staying.

[John]

I don't think. I don't think anything.

[Brady]

Show him a rosebud.

[John]

Okay.

[Brady]

If that starts to happen on the reg, are you sticking around?

[Dale Hellstray]

You'd push that back?

[John]

Isn't that. You guys are ridiculous.

[Brady]

You're the one that brought the. Brought the conversation to the party.

[John]

Said a little anal fistula.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's all. A little bit. Just amongst friends, just between a couple of buddies.

[John]

And now you guys got rose buds going in.

[Brady]

I'm asking the next question, which is, at what point do you draw the line and go, this is above my pay grade and we're no longer in love?

[John]

Well, is it that.

[Brady]

It's not. That's not bad. That's just a puppy. It's a puppy. It's cute.

[John]

Puppies.

[Brady]

Adorable. The picture on the screen is.

[Dale Hellstray]

Not sure what to do with that. I wouldn't touch.

[Brady]

It's not even a thing that's out. That's. Well, now it's just a picture of me, Dale, so.

[John]

Oh, that's almost worse than a robot. You would not.

[Brady]

And you would not do that for me. And I wouldn't ask you to do that because a real friend wouldn't put a friend in that position.

[John]

Yeah, but what I'm saying. Say you're out. You and Brady out hiking.

[Brady]

That's gonna happen. Brokeback Mountain. Look, first off, I'm not doing that because I can't carry him out, and I know he's not going to last long, so. That's just a dumb error on my, like, hiking to the sign in the parking lot and back, maybe. But like, real, actual.

[John]

No. You're out riding bikes and all of a sudden something pops up in there.

[Brady]

And what we would get a unicorn horn goes in his ass. Because this story is not going to happen. Yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

Danger.

[Brady]

Yeah. No, he's on his own. And plus if.

[John]

What about Brett?

[Brady]

He's on his own. We're biking. There's. There's. I have a phone. Yeah, I'll have an. Like.

[John]

Yeah, but you're a little. You're out of range for that.

[Brady]

Then I would. I'd be like, I'll be right back, but I'm gonna ride my bike to range. I can appreciate that. And you'd be like, thanks, I'll send the guy with the big wheel stretcher. Yeah. And I'll. You know, I'm not gonna help. I don't want him down there either, though. On the flip side of it.

[John]

No.

[Brady]

What's going on?

[John]

In agony.

[Brady]

That's fine. I still don't want anybody up my. Yeah, I'm rolling around in anal agony. He's a bad bike rider. Right.

[John]

That's all that is.

[Brady]

I can see you break your leg. I'll help you with that.

[John]

Right?

[Brady]

Yeah. Y. What's wrong with you? Oh, in football, did that ever happen? You were in the locker room and Michael was like, dale, go beast mode on this ass.

[John]

It's something wrong with him. But there was one. One baseball story that I heard my. My friend Bob Welch told me when he. When he was alive. And it supposedly happened. Now, Brady did some double checking with his hemorrhoid.

[Brady]

That was some superfluous Brady esque type storytelling there. Because we assumed, without you saying, that when he told you the story, he was alive. He told me a story when he was alive. Yeah.

[John]

Well, because you're gonna go, isn't he dead?

[Brady]

Well, I wouldn't have said that.

[John]

Yeah, he would. You're thinking it.

[Brady]

The only reason I know he's dead is because you said when he was alive. I'm like, oh, I didn't know that.

[John]

Right. But. But Dennis Eckersley evidently had a little fascination with butthole with that. And he. He supposedly popped the hemorrhoid. Popped a tx A teammates.

[Brady]

Popped a teammate's hemi.

[John]

Yeah. Now that. Oh, Henry Qu. What? What? What's he going to do, pin somebody down? Yeah.

[Brady]

Because that's what you'd have to do to pop mine. He's. Why would Dennis Eckersley be asked to.

[John]

Do this because they know that he.

[Dale Hellstray]

Double dare.

[John]

Probably double dog dare.

[Brady]

Oh, man.

[John]

You know, baseball's lots.

[Brady]

They're in the butt. Baseball players are very in the butt. I knew a girl years ago, went.

[Dale Hellstray]

Five for five that day.

[Brady]

Yeah. I got to pop one every day. I knew a girl who dated a baseball player, and she was put off by how into butts he was. And then she's like. And then she started to date another baseball player. Same thing. And so were his friends. They, like, did butt games all the time.

[John]

Really?

[Brady]

Not, like gay, but, like, they thought it was funny to. I guess when you're just naked with people 160 times a year, you're kind of. You start getting butt.

[John]

Yeah. You've never been in a locker room.

[Brady]

I've been in a locker room.

[John]

Yeah. As a spectator?

[Brady]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

As a visitor.

[John]

Oh, the freshman at Dobbs High School.

[Brady]

It was when the tour was going through. I'll join that. I've been in locker rooms before.

[Dale Hellstray]

He's had some good locker, which.

[John]

Yeah, but. But have you been in the locker room as a participant?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

Or as a gawker?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

No.

[Brady]

I go into the closet and I change. Like a decent person. Yeah. Going to, like, one of the stalls in the bathroom.

[John]

What?

[Brady]

Why would I. What? What? Do you want to see me naked?

[John]

Are you probably one of those idiots that don't shower after a game because you don't have anything?

[Brady]

I do shower after a game.

[John]

You're a little ding a ling.

[Brady]

I shower after a game. At home.

[John]

Not in the locker room.

[Brady]

No, Dale, we just. I'm gonna use your friends.

[Dale Hellstray]

Alyssa, how about this in the.

[Brady]

All right, let's go back to Dale's analogies, shall we? You and I are on a bike ride.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

We're having a nice time. We go back to my house, we're going to shower together.

[John]

No.

[Brady]

Right. Because it's weird. So why do you guys have to do it after games together?

[John]

Because you. You're out there sweating. You're grinding.

[Brady]

I know you're grinding. So here's the problem. I have the Jerry Jones Jerry Dome.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

$7 billion to build this thing, and they still put public showers in. You can't get your own stall.

[John]

No. Come on. Don't be a child. Why am I being. Yeah, that. That is. That's like middle school. Hey, I don't want to.

[Brady]

You get your own soul. It's not even about that. It's just no reason to shower nude with other men.

[John]

You're not confident?

[Brady]

Totally fine. I'M also wildly uncomfortable in a group of men naked shower, not touching each other. I was raised right. Somebody's looking.

[John]

Yeah, they're good.

[Brady]

There's no reason.

[John]

When's Johnny gonna start growing?

[Brady]

There is no reason. Maybe a couple of guys probably would say that. Michael Irvin would. He's saying that about everybody. But there's no reason for a group of men to shower openly together.

[John]

Again, I don't understand because I know, like when I was in high school, they had the community showers after a football game in high school and in September you shower.

[Brady]

The least confident most people are with their bodies.

[John]

That's what I. Yeah, but that's when.

[Brady]

You felt pretty good about you.

[John]

Oh yeah.

[Brady]

I was a late bloomer.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Walking around there with no fuzz.

[John]

I didn't either.

[Brady]

You didn't have any.

[John]

I didn't have to shave until I was like a sophomore.

[Brady]

I'm still not sure I have to. I think I do it just because I'm supposed to. It's gotten pretty awful, but if I let it go, it wouldn't matter.

[John]

No. So. So the kids nowadays.

[Brady]

And you're in there now watching teenager shower at Scottsdale Christian.

[John]

And that's interesting thing because. So first of all, they all go home now and that's right. Oh, they'll just go to the party and then go home after that and go shower. Which is silly, but. Yeah. So over the last 10 years, there's been some incidents that have happened.

[Brady]

Oh, it's been going on a long time.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Just came out over the last.

[John]

Right. And. And I'll never forget my wife. Brooke goes. Well, you mean nobody monitored. No coach monitors a shower. Said Brooke. But 60 year old dude sitting there looking into the shower, he's gonna get in trouble.

[Brady]

The whole setup is weird. I've never understood the setup. Coach flake at Rose.

[John]

Oh, man.

[Brady]

Stand there. And we weren't allowed a towel until he gave it to us because guys were snapping towels.

[John]

Okay.

[Brady]

So there's this. There's a dude in his 40s, just with a weird Panama jack hat and a whistle around his neck, waiting for a bunch of naked boys to walk towards him. And meanwhile it's just this open air stems with seven shower heads on it.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And standing there naked together. And I'm like, this whole setup needs to be rethought.

[John]

Yeah. You want your privacy.

[Brady]

I love my privacy. Nudity and privacy go hand in hand.

[John]

See, that's why you never made it. I would have been fine.

[Brady]

Because you know why I'd have Been like Russell Wilson. I'm like, my locker's too small and I don't have my own shower. I don't even like using the bathroom with you freaks. People pissing all over the floor. You got to wear sandals in the public shower because people can't control themselves. You had to wear sandals in there, Guaranteed. You put a pair of shoes on in that men's shower. Yeah. Why? Because you're standing in dudes urine.

[John]

Well, that goes down the drain.

[Brady]

Why do you have to wear the shower shoes?

[John]

Because.

[Brady]

Because it doesn't go down. It's because you'll get sick. It's repulsive. And it's. It's not something. And we've normalized it, and I don't know why. Why can't you build showers for everyone or have a line?

[John]

Oh, now you're talking middle school.

[Brady]

Okay, you get 12 showers and two at a time then. How about that? What if I said that two at a time in each stall? You'd think that was weird. Well, how come 12 at a time?

[John]

Is it because you're. You're out in the open, right.

[Brady]

So you shut the door, suddenly it's gay?

[John]

You. Of all the guys in this room, of you three knuckleheads, I would have thought you'd have been the most confident. I thought you'd come walking in there comfortable and confident, swinging and just saying, get out of my.

[Brady]

I'll swing my dork around. But I find it to be. Most of the time, it's insulting to other men, and I don't want to do that. I don't want to embarrass other guys. I'm thinking of you. Yeah. When I walk around there, I'm like, what? You can't tell when they're crying? When the water hits their face? I'm like, I'm sorry, guys. There's nothing I can do. So I try to keep it, you know, classy.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I just never understood that. And I certainly don't understand, like, signing up for a club as an adult and walking around naked. And that's a generational.

[Dale Hellstray]

Well, I think the. The initial. I mean, if you're looking at the design of it, as far as the cleaning part of it, they can just do the whole area without.

[Brady]

Well, I don't.

[Dale Hellstray]

A lot quicker.

[Brady]

They shouldn't charge any money if they've got communal shower.

[John]

Oh, no. Yeah. You got a club in your lake lifetime or something? No, you have your own stall.

[Brady]

Everything should be. Well, shower stalls. But dudes that like to walk around nude it's not normal.

[Dale Hellstray]

I've actually doing yoga on the bench before they get dressed.

[John]

I've actually said that to some older guys. Walk around without a towel on. I'm like, hey, does your wife not let. Does she let you walk around like that? Well, no. Well, then what do you think we want?

[Brady]

Why am I comfortable with it? Yeah, put some goddamn pants on the towels. Not enough. Where are you going in the towel? Just from shower to place to dress. But there's no like me towel around. Watching a dude shave in a towel. Go home. Yeah, it's gross. Yeah. You're saying you're a big fan of showering with men and you're not?

[John]

I'm just saying I don't understand that. I'm going to go home with, you know, cakes with sweat and dirt.

[Brady]

And why you do that when you're just out playing in the park or you play some basketball at park. You got to go home and shower. Why is that bad? Why can't you? Why do you have to shower?

[John]

They don't have showers there.

[Brady]

So you're going home and showering.

[John]

Right.

[Brady]

What's the difference?

[John]

But before you go somewhere. Well, usually after a game. John. See, this is how it works. You know when you get into a varsity sports and they come out, you.

[Brady]

Shower together and then you have a date.

[John]

Yes.

[Brady]

Okay, I see.

[John]

I didn't know that.

[Brady]

You can't possibly finish up, go home, shower, and then meet the guys at the place. No, no, you've got to be naked again.

[John]

It takes you five minutes.

[Brady]

You got to be naked with them in order to enjoy the bonding. You can't go to Maggiano's home shower. You have to have public nudity, then meals.

[John]

It's a 20 minute drive home.

[Brady]

Why are you living so far away? It's public school. You were, you lived, right? You lived walkable distance to Chaparral. I know, right? So. I don't know. It's the, the accent. So you. So Saro, you could walk to Saro from where you lived?

[John]

You could walk anywhere.

[Brady]

I mean, you could crawl on your belly anywhere. You know what I'm saying?

[John]

It could have been 45 minute walk.

[Brady]

Where did you live?

[John]

I live basically Camelback in pima and Suarez McDonald's.

[Brady]

Okay, so two minute drive.

[John]

Five minute drive.

[Brady]

Okay. Go home, shower. You can meet everybody like you were in there. No reason to just get naked with your friends.

[John]

I just. It shocks me that you're that shy. I'm a shy guy.

[Brady]

I like to keep it classy.

[John]

It all Comes together.

[Brady]

I can tell you exactly why.

[John]

Because somebody made fun of your.

[Brady]

Well, that didn't help. But I'll tell you exactly.

[John]

The coach laughed at you when they handed you a towel.

[Brady]

Everybody started getting in trouble at school. When I was. When I first got there, and getting in there and stuff and coming out, and I'm like, look, guys, I can't let all you blow me. I know you want to. And this is just. But the line got too long. We were late for the next class. It got rough, and then nobody was going to dinner. They just stood and waited for me. They wanted a piece of this. Exactly.

[John]

I think somebody brought a broomstick in there and got you.

[Brady]

No, I do know one of the reasons was my first day in seventh grade, alphabetically. The dude next to me was Todd Linkus. And H, I, J, K, L. We didn't have J's and K's. He was right there. So I was like, oh, Linkus is next to me. And Linkus was one of those guys that was 6ft tall, 225 when he was in fifth grade. Just became a man. And so he's throwing deodorant on. There's hair on his chest and his balls and everything else. And I am. I'm like an eel. I was like, just the least.

[John]

Why don't you have. You're supposed to have your eyes above.

[Brady]

You can't help it when a giant standing next to you and his dong almost hits a Lincoln. And the lockers are an inch and a half away. So I was paying attention forward, but I have good field vision. And peripherally, there's Todd's hair everywhere. And I'm like, I can't take my.

[John]

Did he ever catch you looking at his penis?

[Brady]

Oh, I wasn't looking at his penis. I was looking at the hair on his body. I'm like, I don't have any of that. And then. And then one kid named Joey took the towel off and walked through with his prepubescent body. And he got known as Curly for about two years. And I'm like, that would have been me had I not been. Had I not had the foresight to know that this could have been a nightmare. So I just put a pair of swim trunks on and went. I didn't get in the shower. I didn't. I just. Extra deodorant.

[John]

I was gonna say, you're one of those guys that puts some swim trunks on and goes, no, that's.

[Brady]

That's. That's a sign that you are definitely going, that Direction. All right, we got to take a break. Great start there, Dale. Great start to your sports talk today, brought to you by our friends at prestige billiards. Az.com three stores. You can go there. Put meathead98 in the promo code online. Save yourself some money or just tell everybody, look, meathead, I want a discount. KUPD said so. And they'll give it to you. Dale. Hell strays with us for a little while longer. It's 98 John Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[John]

The 98 KUPD Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Brady]

There you go. You like Van Halen, right, Dale? That's one you're like. You can get behind.

[John]

I do like Van Halen.

[Brady]

That's a solid one right there. Dale has some taste that shows. It's a good thing. Dale Hellas Trey is here. He's brought to you by prestige billiardsaz.com if you want to get over there and get your game room in order. Do you have a game room at your house?

[John]

We need to get you on. I. I mean, I have an office.

[Brady]

What are you doing there?

[John]

I have, like, my computer, my super bowl trophies, and my pictures. So it's a storage facility. It's basically an I love Dale room.

[Brady]

Yeah. What do you do with a computer? Outside of the obvious?

[John]

I email. I receive emails.

[Brady]

From who?

[John]

Important people.

[Brady]

Like what? Like you're not doing anything. There isn't nothing but business. Office is business. Like you're not doing anything. Emailing.

[John]

Got tv.

[Brady]

Oh, so you watch tv. So you get to hide in there?

[John]

Yes.

[Brady]

When Brooks says get out.

[John]

I'm tired now.

[Brady]

We talked about it earlier today. I want to talk sports eventually with you. Could you. I watched the Gabby Petito documentary. Remember her? A few years ago, she got killed by that Brian Laundrie guy on that. You don't know anything, do you? You don't remember anything about anything.

[John]

I've heard of Petito, though.

[Brady]

Yeah. Gabby Petito was a nationw not appetito missing a cute little missing blonde girl. She went missing for a couple weeks. Turns out her boyfriend did it. They were on a road trip together. Oh, yeah. And the road and watch the documentary last night. And they got into a. Like a physical altercation 41 days in. And then I'm like, well, you're 41 days living in a car with somebody driving around, right? Could you ever do that with your wife? How long would she go before she killed you? Living in a car to get together.

[John]

Living in a.

[Brady]

Because they chose to live in two weeks, two days. 48 hours. Dale's dead. How long until you kill her? It wouldn't be. It wouldn't. And every guy has to say, like, I would never. Yes, you would. There's no way. Because watching the documentary, you're supposed to feel really sorry for Gabby. But then you realize 41 days in a car, somebody sitting in that side.

[John]

And they chose to do this.

[Brady]

They wanted to be YouTube bloggers of Van life. Like, they. They bought this little. It was a Ford Transit. It's the small. It's like a wagon, like a station wagon. Oh, they put a little bed in it. You're just asking for asking to kill someone. So I watched the documentary. I think I had a different perspective after seeing. It's like not saying she deserved it, but one of the two of them was going to kill the other one on a road trip like that. They were 22, and that was when they just fought. They didn't kill each other till, like, late in the summer. So it was like 90 days in by the time that the murder happened.

[John]

Well, I mean, he killed her, right?

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah. But it was inevitable. Like, you can't be in a. When's the longest road trip you've taken with the family?

[John]

Well, with the family. Probably tell you, right?

[Brady]

That's nine hours. That's a maximum.

[John]

Brooke and I, I will tell you this story. So Brooke and I, probably still to this day, one of our biggest fights. Yeah. We got married in March, had to go back to Buffalo for a mini camp. And I said, you know, we have relatives in Colorado and Illinois, so let's just make a trip.

[Brady]

Yeah. Too cheap to get a hotel room.

[John]

We're just. No, we stay in hotels.

[Brady]

Good man.

[John]

But just have stops along the way so you're not trying to drive straight through. And. And so we went. On the way back, we had to spend the night in Oklahoma City for some reason, whatever. And get up in the morning. I didn't realize how much coffee she drank. Drink.

[Brady]

Okay. In life or that day.

[John]

Well, we just got married. Okay. She basically drinks almost a pot of coffee in the morning.

[Brady]

A whole pot.

[John]

Yeah. Close to a pie. And now we've gotten older, it's half a pot, but close to a pot. And I don't know. Well, you've never had kids. I don't know about how you did it or how you did it, but as we're leaving anywhere, I always say.

[Brady]

Gotta go to the bath.

[John]

Do you have to go to the bathroom?

[Brady]

But she's loaded on coffee. So it's not just Number ones.

[John]

It's a no. But anyway, so she said, no, I don't have to.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

I said, you sure you don't want to try? Which is what I would tell my daughter. Push it out. Try it. Yeah, try. And she goes, dale, I'm a grown up. I'm fine. Well, we're 10 minutes outside of Oklahoma City.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

And she looks down. Pee my pants. I said, well, we're not turning around.

[Brady]

Oh, boy.

[John]

So I'll pull over. You want to go along the interstate, get out. And she's never. She's never peed along. You know, Gilmore, class of the illustrates. And. And she evidently had to go that bad. And she got out and peed on the tent as cars are zipping by.

[Brady]

So you left her wide open on this. It's Oklahoma.

[John]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

And you're like, shake the bush.

[Brady]

Yeah. So to speak.

[John]

There were no bushes, but.

[Brady]

Well, we're not talking about. We're not talking about Oklahoma. We're talking about shaking the bush.

[John]

I. I didn't think that would be Brady's process.

[Brady]

He's. You said he was phoning it in. He tried harder.

[John]

And I could tell you, but.

[Brady]

Was there a bush in Oklahoma?

[John]

Is what we're asking all I could tell you. Yeah.

[Brady]

It was the 80s.

[John]

And so I. I can tell you this. That car was very, very quiet for. Yeah. Three hours.

[Brady]

For three hours. And then you guys. And then you had out. Once she started to talk to you, did you have it? You completely start yelling at each other.

[John]

No.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

No, because we're really wet, Sean.

[Brady]

I mean, you hammered it out.

[Dale Hellstray]

You knew you weren't gonna go. I told you so.

[Brady]

Yeah. So you pulled over and you gave her what for on the side of the road, like a good husband. Nice job. That's a beautiful. What a beautiful Hallmark story you just told.

[John]

Well, what. What? Tell me, what would you do making your 15 minutes outside of the city? You just said you have to.

[Brady]

Well, that's why I always travel with a pot in the car. Get in the back seat and fill the pot. We don't pull over for anything. I'm like a camel. I can guzzle and I don't have to go. I can drive for hours.

[Dale Hellstray]

Hang your butt out the door.

[Brady]

Yeah. And I'm mind over matter. I can just keep it. I don't have to pee.

[John]

Really.

[Brady]

I'll be fine. We'll go wherever. However long you want to go, we'll go. And that's training. That's because my dad on road trips said nobody's peeing and he put the fear of God in me that nobody's peeing. So I just learned how to, you know, control that.

[John]

When I was growing up, we would try to drive back to Illinois. That's where my parents are from. Every summer for two weeks or whatever, you know, get all loaded up and then last thing they do is throw a coffee can in the back.

[Brady]

Yeah. For pissing.

[John]

And that was my peeing.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

Being coffee can.

[Brady]

That's right. That's good parenting. I think that's golden. Pardon the pun, but yeah, I think that's. Yeah. You always had to have something just in case. Because there's always somebody in the car who screws up the plan and getting off and getting back on. It's lame. It's horrible. And you had daughters, so your road trips were actually.

[John]

They were very, very. They're very, very good. We had our two stops to Telluride. We used to go up there all the time. The pee stops said the two p stops. One was a snack.

[Brady]

You scheduled them like a dog. You were training them like a dog. They go. When you say, yeah, that's perfect. Yes, that's good dadding right there.

[John]

Right there.

[Brady]

Anybody that pulls over for their daughter and that's not. It's teaching them a lesson to learn how to clinch it up. Yeah, you're built with that. We can. We'll mind over matter. It's a mental game.

[John]

I think so. So the mental game doesn't work in the shower for you?

[Brady]

It works just fine. I just don't. I. I just live my life trying to avoid rooms. Naked guys and showering. That's just something. Call me crazy, but that's just something I live my life by. The nice meal at steak 44 makes Brady sweat. I don't want to shower with him right after he can go home. Pizza. Spinato's pizza. Brady took a head. I've reprimanded him because his dumps come. He won't control those. So he runs to the bathroom, and the men's room was full. And instead of just being a grown up and saying, well, that's not. He went into the ladies room and dropped. Dropped a bomb available. And a lady came out. And he's just smiling like, what are you gonna do? And then he comes back to the table. I'm like, what did you do? And he goes, had to go. When you gotta go, you gotta go. And I'm like, are you not equipped with a sphincter? Lock it down.

[Dale Hellstray]

He's nice. The lady. I'm like, do not go in there five or 10 minutes.

[Brady]

Like a shark.

[John]

A lady was outside. And you opened the lady's door? Yeah.

[Brady]

She was going in the sink. Yes. As I'm watching him, like, he went in the other bathroom because it was a straight shot. Men's room was left, ladies room was right. And I watched Brady go kun, gun, gun, gunk. And didn't even think, like, I could use the ladies. Like, no, this is happening. The other door swung open, and he comes out of there as happy as a clam.

[Dale Hellstray]

I thought it said Brady's.

[Brady]

Two swipes, he was done. Gotta get back to that pizza. I'm not finished with. Some of it already came out. And he comes running out of the bathroom. Lady gets barged out, out of the way, ma'am.

[Dale Hellstray]

She came out with a license plate.

[Brady]

It was awful. He's like, what are you gonna do? Gotta go. You gotta go. Like, that is not the case. It's not human. That is your.

[John]

In a restaurant, you don't take a deuce.

[Brady]

Thank you.

[Dale Hellstray]

Try not to.

[Brady]

No, you didn't try very hard that day. You ran to the men's room when it wasn't available. You had option B on deck. There was no trying.

[Dale Hellstray]

That is the. Yeah, that is the last option.

[Brady]

There was more. Yes, there is. There's. There's more trying to. Than trying not to. Especially that day.

[Dale Hellstray]

Not that day.

[Brady]

No. No. You just decided that you wanted to go and make more room for the pie.

[John]

I was gonna say, did you want more. More room for the pie?

[Dale Hellstray]

Well, there's a little bit of truth.

[Brady]

Yeah. Feel a little full up.

[Dale Hellstray]

Maybe if I get rid of some dead weight.

[Brady]

Terrible. Terrible. You don't dump at restaurants. No, I agree. You don't dump at friends houses. You don't dump at restaurants. That's just a rule. And if you have to and you've got a problem, get in the car and go to a gas station or do something else and go home and you're sick. Something's wrong. You're not feeling well. So if you can't control your butthole, you should go home.

[John]

Yeah, well, then I think the next time I get invited to a Steelers party, I might use that.

[Brady]

That.

[John]

That standalone.

[Brady]

I gotta be honest, I'm not sure you've ever been invited.

[John]

You just show up, Johnny, you ask.

[Brady]

If you can come over a lot.

[John]

I know. You know that I'm the star of the party. You can. You know that. You did.

[Brady]

Johnny, you know that there were 25 Steeler fans there, and Dale walked In on that last game, it's like, ah, come on. And then 20 people boo. Nobody planned it. Nobody talked about it. Dale, the star of the party was booed. Yeah, it was hilarious.

[John]

Well, that's because I was wearing my Cincinnati Bengals.

[Brady]

No, that's because you were on your.

[John]

Baltimore RA Baltimore Raven thing. Yeah.

[Brady]

Your three games. All right, I want you and Brady to team up on this, okay? I think we can do this.

[John]

141 seconds.

[Brady]

41 seconds. You time at 41 seconds. And you guys together have to get five World Championships. Jesus.

[John]

Columbus, Columbus, Phoenix.

[Brady]

That states we're going around the world. Are you ready, Dale? Are you ready, Brady? Now, I want Dale to answer, but you have to be. If he looks at you, you can answer. All right?

[Dale Hellstray]

Okay.

[Brady]

So it's Dale's question first. And if he goes, Brady, then you can help. So I gotta get six, right? They gotta get six to beat my dick.

[John]

What are you here to do, Dale?

[Brady]

No, you're here to beat my dick.

[John]

I'm here to win.

[Brady]

All right, here we go. When the clock starts, you'll hear the timer. I will name the city, you name the country. Here we go. Good luck, Dale.

[John]

Caracas, Venezuela.

[Brady]

Nice. Copenhagen, Denmark. Double. Cape Town, Africa. More specific. No, incorrect then. All right, Brady fixed it. That's three. Bogota.

[John]

Argentina.

[Brady]

Incorrect.

[Dale Hellstray]

Colombia.

[Brady]

There you go. But he already answered. Brady. He didn't ask for your help. He didn't ask for your help. Okay. Warsaw.

[John]

Warsaw is Poland.

[Brady]

Nice, Dale. One more and you get it. Nairobi. Looks at Brady.

[Dale Hellstray]

Kenya.

[Brady]

Kenya is correct. The boys did it together. This is championship team. It was 39. But didn't they miss a couple? So that's.

[John]

I missed one.

[Brady]

You missed one. Well, technically, you missed two. But br. We gave you the save on the first one. You just had to learn. So how many. How many we had on that? That was tight. They got it. No, you don't. They just had two tickets Somewhere you go see a mud thing, you're going to love it.

[John]

Yes.

[Brady]

This is going to be awesome. They're the Dolly Parton of rock. You're going to love it. Now, before we get into the spots, because we got to go hockey tonight.

[John]

Yeah.

[Brady]

It's the best sport going right now. There's two things that are about to happen that I think might be the greatest sports moments. Every time it happens now, every year, we get the March Madness. Yes. And I think that's the best tournament in sports.

[John]

Yes.

[Brady]

Bar none. This thing they got going on in hockey might be the greatest invention accidentally that they've Ever put together. Have you ever. Did you watch the game the other night? Well, highlights. Nobody knew this was going to happen. And so this is kind of their all star game. Do you think they, like the NBA should do this? But none of those guys are tough enough to do it.

[John]

No, I mean these guys are actually getting hurt doing this stuff.

[Brady]

Yeah. The Kachuk kid had to sit out one of them for being way too aggressive.

[John]

Right.

[Brady]

In an exhibition. Can you imagine playing an exit a preseason game where it's the United States versus Europe in football. They had caught us.

[John]

Right.

[Brady]

And can you imagine in a game that didn't matter at all, ever playing as hard as you would and like.

[John]

That was super bowl.

[Brady]

That was Stanley cup behavior. Can you ever imagine that?

[John]

I. It's happened to me in a college all star game.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John]

To where, you know, Pax was supposed to be kind of walk kind of jog through whatever and the defensive end is going to try and make all.

[Brady]

Yeah, he's going to be the superstar.

[John]

So then now you got to match his intensity and all that. And that's no fun.

[Brady]

Otherwise you look like you're getting run.

[John]

Yes. Oh, yeah. And. And so that's no fun. But yeah, they accidentally stumbled on this. And of course USA and Canada and everything that's going on politically, the terms have a line.

[Brady]

Bands are in it. Yeah, it's exactly it. It's like this. The planets are all perfectly straight and we're going to see it now. Do you think tonight they are coached to keep going? What would the coaches do you think say, like, guys contract seasons are online. You can't do this. This isn't. It's a friendly. It's a goof.

[John]

They might be getting pinged on their cell phones a little bit about, hey, we got a regular season.

[Brady]

I wouldn't listen.

[John]

No, tonight it's going to be. It's going to be fascinating because part of me thinks that Canada is going to come out and smoke them. I think so too because the United States is dinged up pretty good and Canada's pissed.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dale Hellstray]

It's business.

[Brady]

They might have. The US might have won the battle. They're not going to win the war because I think they went in hot in that first one and now it's going to be. I love though that I'm getting emails all morning saying we're gonna kick those white backs ass or let's get those snow Mexicans. I don't know why they've become racist towards the Canadians. I've heard worse than that. But Those are the tame ones. Yeah, those are the tame ones. It is an absolute hatred of Canada where we can take all of our innate built up bigotry that we have as Americans and push it on people who look just like us. We finally found an outlet for racism that we can't get in trouble for.

[John]

I've never.

[Brady]

Whitebacks is hilar snow. Mexicans had me dying. I didn't even know what a different word though. Well, I heard those. Yeah, well, you heard the tame version. Yes. I've had emails here. It's like, oh yeah, something like syrup suckers and things like that going on. Those are. But we've gotten racist towards Canada and that make. That's when America is good, is when we have a common enemy we can make fun of.

[John]

The only thing different us and them is their accent. Eh? Yeah.

[Brady]

Real. And look, education. And they're Canadian. They're not. They're not us for a reason. We're better than Canadian. Canadian. They are the country music of the continent. They're the dumb ones. He's coming to tell me we gotta go. Yeah, we gotta take a break there. But you think Canada wins tonight, you traitor.

[John]

I do. No, I want USA to win. I'd love to see three more fights in the first 10 seconds.

[Brady]

Let's hope that one breaks out. I'm doing this. Oh, it's going to be great. All right, we got an entertainment drill coming up in just moments.

[John]

It's 98 Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.