02-20-26 - Brady Report - Escaped Cow - Chocolate Cronk - KlonDick bar - Jan 2006 - BO

Summary

---

Episode Overview

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: 02-20-26 - Brady Report - Escaped Cow - Chocolate Cronk - KlonDick Bar - Jan 2006 - BO
Date: February 20, 2026
Hosts/Panel: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, Eric, Co-host Dave, Byron

This lively episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness dives into a signature Brady Report, covering absurd and offbeat news stories with a heavy dose of humor and candid banter. Highlights include a daring cow escape in Montana, the Midwest's reputation as a hotspot for “chubby cities,” and a hilarious deep-dive into chocolate replicas of male anatomy as Valentine's gifts—culminating in an on-air brainstorming of the “Klondick Bar.” The hosts also explore curious facts about postage stamps, lawyer ethics, fashion spending, relationship choices, and more, all with irreverence and comic timing.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. America’s “Chubby” Cities

• [01:21-02:58] The guys joke about a report from Men's Fitness Magazine naming Chicago (not Milwaukee) as the top “chubby city” in the Midwest, with Texas boasting five of the top 25.
  • Co-host Dave: “The Midwest has always been the mecca for chubby chasers.”
  • Discussion about how rankings are determined (gym memberships, fast-food density, park space, etc.), with Phoenix not making the list.
  • Brady: “Phoenix might be a lot of fast food stuff going on here. That’s what I’m saying, you get all the food still. But then you also got a gym every 10ft here.”

2. Escaped Cow in Montana

• [03:17-04:34] A black heifer escapes a slaughterhouse in Great Falls, Montana, dodges cars, crosses train tracks, swims the icy Missouri River, and outlasts tranquilizers before capture.
  • Co-host Dave: “Police gave chase...cops kept following her. She handled it Hollywood style by running across some train tracks just seconds before the locomotive.”
  • Brady: “That cow that ran away needs to be set up as an example and whipped and then eaten on television. Man.”
  • The crew jokes about the intelligence of cows and the ethics of slaughterhouses.

3. Weird Laws & Wordplay: The Lawyer-Client Sex Ban

• [05:52-06:44] Coverage of the DC Bar Association’s pushback on an outright sex ban between lawyers and clients due to conflicts of interest, including euphemisms used in legal codes.
  • Co-host Dave: “Instead, they want...a strong warning that mounting one’s client could create a conflict of interest.”
  • Brady: “Deposits and withdrawals...they’re slimy.”

4. U.S. Postage Stamp Tidbits

• [06:44-07:41] News about stamp prices rising, stamp-collecting trivia, and the Elvis stamp as all-time bestseller.
  • Brady: “I did that last week.” (on buying 37-cent stamps before the price hike).
  • Co-host Dave: “Elvis stamp in 1993—124 million of them were made, baby.”

5. Valentine’s Day Gag Gifts: The Chocolate Cronk (or Schwantz)

• [07:58-14:03, 20:26-22:01] Extended, hilarious segment on “Clone-A-Willy” kits and the new chocolate cast version as a personalized Valentine’s treat. The discussion gets wild:
  • Co-host Dave: “Now you can get a chocolate replica of your manhood...a home kit that lets you make a delicious life-size milk chocolate replica.”
  • Brady: “Would you eat your own schwants if it was in the freezer? If it was delicious, chocolatey schwants?”
  • The guys riff on whether they’d try their own and spiral into “what if stranded on a desert island?” scenarios.
    • Eric: “You actually have to dip your unit in there?”
    • Brady: “There’s no guy tracing it and doing like the dimensions of your unit. This will be great. Chocolate bar. I don’t know.”
  • Crackups about “Klondick bars” (“Klondike” pun), sharing as Valentine’s gifts, and the questionable logistics of casting, eating, or gifting such chocolate.

6. Fashion Spending Study

• [14:32-15:42] Statistical look at how much money men and women spend on unworn clothes over their careers.
  • Co-host Dave: “Average woman spends 22,655 bucks on clothes she never wears...guys will spend almost 14 grand on clothes we’ll never wear.”

7. Love vs. Great Sex: Relationship Survey

• [15:42-16:59] Survey data showing most people (especially women) choose a loving relationship over “great sex.”
  • Brady: “If you’ve chosen loving, deep relationship over great sex, your gay.”
  • Discussion questions whether the preferable combo (great sex and relationship) is as rare as people say.

8. Wacky Collectibles: The Del Monte $20 Bill

• [17:09-18:24] News of a misprinted $20 bill with a Del Monte banana sticker embedded under the ink, sold for $25,300.
  • Brady: “That’s weird. 25 grand for a banana sticker on a dollar.”

9. Gross News: Urethritis as a New STD

• [18:24-19:50] Introduction of urethritis as an STD, research shows transmission via oral sex, with Brady chiming in on personal experience.
  • Brady: “She was drinking and eating nerds. And a few got in there. No...that was the big urethra that Dr. Weber told me about.”

10. “Bad Police Work” and Jury Detectives

• [19:50-20:24] NJ jury finds 30 bags of crack hidden in a bloody jacket that cops had missed, causing the case to be reopened.
  • Co-host Dave: “Big ups for the jury cracking that case.”
  • Brady: “It got all the way to the jury...They found the crack.”

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [03:23] Brady: “No, that’s why we eat them. That cow that ran away needs to be set up as an example and whipped and then eaten on television.”
• [08:56] Brady: “Would you eat your own schwants if it was in the freezer? If it was delicious, chocolatey schwants, would you melt it and dribble it down onto some ice cream?”
• [12:19] Brady: “Lie all you want, guys. You would try it once...You’d look, you’d do this shifty look right, look left. I could do it. You’d do it.”
• [17:09] Co-host Dave: “There’s actually a $20 bill where some of the ink is printed over the sticker.”
• [19:48] Co-host Dave: “Finally, a jury in Camden, New Jersey was examining a bloody jacket...hidden inside were 30 bags of crack the cops somehow missed.”

---

Segment Timestamps

• [01:21] – Midwest “Chubby City” Rankings
• [03:17] – Montana Cow Escape Story
• [05:52] – Lawyer-Client Sex Ban Review
• [06:44] – U.S. Stamp Price Increase & Trivia
• [07:58] – Chocolate Cronk / Novelty Valentine’s Gift Deep Dive
• [14:32] – Fashion Spending Stats
• [15:42] – Love vs. Great Sex Survey Debate
• [17:09] – The Del Monte $20 Bill Story
• [18:24] – Urethritis: The “New” STD
• [19:50] – Jury Finds Crack in Evidence Jacket
• [20:26-22:01] – “Klondick Bar” Jokes & Gift Ideas

---

Tone & Style

The episode is quintessentially irreverent, brash, and quick-witted, with conversational riffing, occasionally raunchy humor, and a non-stop flow of unscripted one-liners. The group’s easy rapport and willingness to lean into the absurd make even the weirdest news stories hilarious and memorable.

---

Quick Reference: Top Moments

| Timestamp | Topic | Quote/Highlight | |-----------|-------|-----------------| | 03:23 | Cow Escape | “That cow that ran away needs to be set up as an example and whipped and then eaten on television.” - Brady | | 08:56 | Chocolate Cronk | “Would you eat your own schwants if it was in the freezer?” - Brady | | 12:19 | Trying Chocolate Models | “Lie all you want, guys. You would try it once.” - Brady | | 17:09 | $20 Banana Bill | “There’s actually a $20 bill with the ink over the sticker.” - Co-host Dave | | 19:50 | Jury Detective | “Hidden inside the jacket were 30 bags of crack the cops somehow missed.” - Co-host Dave |

---

For listeners who missed the episode: Expect NSFW jokes, rapid-fire banter, and a unique take on news that only Holmberg’s crew can deliver—equal parts roast, real talk, and raucous laughter.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by mmpguns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[Commercial Announcer]

This President's Day. If you're shopping for a new truck, suv, electric vehicle or crossover, you owe it to yourself to check out your Valley Chevy dealers during the President's Day sales event. Live life bigger in a traverse or the roomy and dependable tracks where versatility meets agility. Or the Silverado or Colorado trucks that fit your lifestyle. Don't miss your chance to drive yours away this residence day, see your Valley Chevy dealers or visit valleychevy.com for the President's Day sales event going on now. Together, let's drive this President's Day. If you're shopping for a new truck, suv, electric vehicle or crossover, you owe it to yourself to check out your Valley Chevy dealers during the President's Day sales event. Live life bigger in a traverse or the roomy and dependable tracks where versatility meets agility or the Silverado or Colorado trucks that fit your lifestyle. Don't miss your chance to drive yours away this residence day, see your Valley Chevy dealers or visit valleychevy.com for the President's Day sales event going on now.

[Brady]

Together, let's drive the best of Homburg's morning sickness. 98 KUPD and time now for Brady to do what he does best. And that is report the news. Sort of. Brady, report it.

[Co-host Dave]

The Midwest has always been the mecca for chubby chasers. Makes sense that the Midwest largest city has finally gotten the title it deserves. Milwaukee, according to men's fitness magazine. That's what I was thinking.

[Brady]

Yeah. It isn't.

[Co-host Dave]

Nope.

[Brady]

Wisconsin. Nothing in Wisconsin.

[Co-host Dave]

Chicago.

[Brady]

Well, there you go. Chicago's got some large ladies.

[Co-host Dave]

Last year's top city, of course, was Houston. That dropped down to number five. But don't worry because Texas is not coming down because of the 13 most they're pigs and chubby cities. Texas has five.

[Brady]

Wow. Of the top how many?

[Co-host Dave]

25.

[Brady]

Holy cow. Where's Phoenix? Are we in there?

[Co-host Dave]

They have the last year. Like Tucson was one of the fittest cities. Right.

[Brady]

Just. Well, because everybody's running from them.

[Eric]

How do they judge this? It's just like how many people or it's like a little town in North Dakota.

[Brady]

Well, Eric, what you don't.

[Eric]

Chicago.

[Brady]

All cities are built on scales. I don't know if you knew that. And eventually they just weigh them.

[Co-host Dave]

There's a giant scale. They look at facts like city gym memberships, number of fast food restaurants, access to health care, public park space, fitness promoting initiatives, and weather.

[Brady]

So Phoenix isn't anywhere near that list.

[Co-host Dave]

They don't have the newest list posted up because we checked. Because they're, you know, they want you to go get the magazine, then they'll post Phoenix.

[Brady]

Phoenix might be a lot of fast food stuff going on here.

[Co-host Dave]

There's good food, but you also have a lot of midwesterners moving into Phoenix.

[Brady]

That's what I'm saying. You get all the food still. But then you also got a gym every 10ft here.

[Eric]

And it's supposed to be the greatest run city in the world, right? Phoenix, what I see on all the signs, that's Scottsdale. What's the difference?

[Brady]

And that was like eight years ago. They won some award. It's a burb. You're right. Same thing. You're right.

[Co-host Dave]

In Great Falls, Montana, last week, there was a female cow who was determined not to end up like a Salisbury steak. She was taken to the slaughterhouse. She waited for her chance and bolted. 1200 pound black heifer jumped the slaughterhouse gate and escaped into a residential area. Police gave chase. She busted across the street, barely avoiding getting hit by a Chevy Suburban. Cops kept following her. She handled it Hollywood style by running across some train tracks just seconds before the locomotive went rolling through.

[Brady]

That would have been ugly.

[Co-host Dave]

Animal control officers then join the police officers for the chase. So the cow jumped into an icy part of the Missouri river. They figured she drowned, but she swam until she found a sandbar, walked onto the shore. Veterinarian waiting for her shot her with three tranquilizer darts.

[Brady]

Then they killed her name, which the

[Co-host Dave]

cow just shook off.

[Brady]

Wow.

[Co-host Dave]

Finally, after six hours, the cow wandered into the makeshift pen authorities had set up. She was caught, but the escape attempt may have not been wasted. The cow hasn't been slaughtered. Apparently a lot of people are impressed with her determination and skills. Made offers to buy her.

[Brady]

You know, that's weird. You ever been to a slaughterhouse? They line them up like the cow next sees what happens to the cow in front of it. More importantly, hears. And I know cows aren't bright, but you gotta think eventually one of them saying, whoa, I'm in this line.

[Co-host Dave]

I think most of them are saying, that was cool.

[Brady]

That dude deserved it. Yeah. But no, the second cow in line just gotta be like, what are we doing?

[Eric]

Why is everybody else freak out and tell the other cows? Yeah, try to start a riot or something.

[Brady]

But it's like being in line at Disneyland where you're about to get on a ride and you're just sitting there, but then you see the guy in the car in front of you and what happens to him? You're like, I ain't getting on this ride. But eventually one cow out of like a million has to see it and think I'm out. But they don't just follow the last guy, what happened to him?

[Eric]

They're just not very bright.

[Brady]

No, that's why we eat them. That cow that ran away needs to be set up as an example and whipped and then eaten on television. Man.

[Co-host Dave]

That one cow.

[Brady]

Television.

[Co-host Dave]

Pamela Anderson exercising a lot. You wouldn't like the meat on that one.

[Commercial Announcer]

No, no, no.

[Brady]

That cow needs to be no. Because it was all fattened up. It knew what was going on. And as an example to the other rogue cows, needs to be taught a lesson.

[Co-host Dave]

The Washington D.C. bar association, which is made up about 80,000 lawyers, is angry over a proposed change to Attorney's ethic rules. It would strictly prohibit lawyers from getting smooth up in their clients. The thinking behind the ban is that conjoining groins creates a conflict of interest between lawyer and client. But the lawyers association says it's an outright. The outright ban would go too far. Instead, they want to there to be a strong warning that mounting one's client could create a conflict of interest. And a little quick note that the sleaze involved the ethics code. The word sex isn't used. What are the lawyers use instead? Transactions.

[Brady]

Ooh, deposits and withdrawals.

[Co-host Dave]

Exactly.

[Brady]

They're slimy.

[Co-host Dave]

And then bad news today because you probably, probably a ton of people went out last week and bought a giant roll of 37 cent stamps.

[Brady]

I did that last week.

[Co-host Dave]

Today they go to 39 cents and you buy.

[Brady]

Can you buy 2 cent stamps at like the grocery store?

[Co-host Dave]

They have them. You know what? I've had two people actually send me some Realtors Will.

[Brady]

Good idea.

[Co-host Dave]

Say, hey, just want to let you

[Brady]

know they're going up. Huh? Because I always go to the. When I go to the grocery store in line, I just say, give me some stamps. I never say how much.

[Co-host Dave]

The price of stamps have tripled over the past 30 years. 75 there. 1975 is 13 cents.

[Brady]

Really.

[Co-host Dave]

Best selling US stamp of all time.

[Brady]

Elvis.

[Co-host Dave]

Correct. Elvis stamp in 1993.

[Brady]

Nailed it.

[Co-host Dave]

124 million of them were made, baby.

[Brady]

It was a big day for the stamp collectors.

[Co-host Dave]

U.S. postal Service still delivers 44% of all the letters and cards sent in the world.

[Brady]

Wow.

[Co-host Dave]

We're a month away. Well, as of Saturday. A month away from vd.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Co-host Dave]

Valentine's day.

[Brady]

Got nervous for a second.

[Co-host Dave]

And I've got a great, great suggestion for you. I've talked about this company before. Clonal Willie.

[Brady]

Oh yeah. Clone a willy.

[Co-host Dave]

Well, because you can get a replica of your manhood. Well, a rubberized well, they've taken a step further. Now you can get a chocolate replica of your manatellia.

[Eric]

Yum.

[Brady]

Except for as a man, it's not

[Co-host Dave]

out there quite yet. It'll be available soon. A home kit that lets you make a delicious life size milk chocolate replica.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, but.

[Brady]

But that's. I was just gonna say because, you know, she'd eat like a couple bites off the bottom of it and then there you are on a Sunday board. Open the freezer and it's in a

[Co-host Dave]

little bit every year. Anyway, I give her a Hershey's Kiss. It's about the same volume.

[Brady]

That's what I mean. Oh, okay.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Real, real thin on top. A heavy base. That's like me.

[Eric]

So you have to dip your unit

[Brady]

in chocolate and just hold it there.

[Co-host Dave]

There's no word on what the. Chocolately. Chocolately packages. Chocolatey.

[Brady]

Great question. Would you eat your own schwants if it was in the freezer? If it was delicious, chocolatey schwants, Would you melt it and dribble it down onto some ice cream?

[Eric]

That's odd.

[Brady]

Would you do it? It is odd, but it's what people do.

[Eric]

So you actually have to dip it in there?

[Brady]

I don't know, Eric.

[Eric]

Or is there like some other cast or something?

[Brady]

There's no like, guy tracing it and doing like the dimensions of your unit. This will be great. Chocolate bar. I don't know.

[Co-host Dave]

I want to know if it's available in white chocolate.

[Brady]

Why you don't want to see it as a small black unit.

[Co-host Dave]

I'd like to see. That wouldn't bother me so much.

[Brady]

Would you eat it?

[Co-host Dave]

Probably not.

[Brady]

Why not?

[Co-host Dave]

Just because it feel weird.

[Brady]

It would feel weird. Yeah.

[Eric]

I can go buy chocolate at the store.

[Brady]

Would you try to find out what you're putting your girlfriend through? If you know what I mean?

[Commercial Announcer]

What?

[Brady]

You know. Oh, geez. Would you try that run? I'd give that a run. I can take care of myself.

[Eric]

You actually think about stuff.

[Brady]

Yeah. Like if I was on a desert island or something. Maybe use it as a tool to see if you can get the.

[Co-host Dave]

It wouldn't last long on the desert island.

[Brady]

Not the chocolate part. Oh. But you just practice on that in case you have to fold up like a Samsonite and do it to yourself one day.

[Co-host Dave]

You could maybe make your little sand kronk on the desert island.

[Brady]

No, no, you're missing the point.

[Eric]

He wants to get ribs removed like that.

[Brady]

Yeah, if you practice on the chocolate schwannz and then that day that the FedEx plane crashes and you're cast away, then you already know what you like. All this morning sickness Hear the words you say sometimes.

[Commercial Announcer]

I mean, who talks like that?

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Byron]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into MMP Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Byron]

Easy legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it all online. It's really that simple.

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[Commercial Announcer]

Well, it's NBA's time to shine. For us Suns fans, that means fast breaks and buzzer beaters are front and center. It's Dick Toledo for Underdog the app where picking the NBA can score you 5000 times your money and playing on Underdog is so easy. Just pick if players will go higher or lower on their stats. And here's a sneaky good play I like. Take Grayson Allen higher on three point attempts and Mark Williams higher on rebounds. But whatever the statin you like, Underdog's got it. So play on Underdog with me and download the app today and use promo code HMS to score $75 in bonus entries when you play your first five DOL. Underdog make picks win money must be 18 +, 19 in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 in Colorado for some games, 21+ in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. Concerned with your play, call 1-800-MY-RESET or visit www.ncpgambling.org Arizona 1-800-Next Step 1-800-639-8783 or text Next Step to 53342 New York, call the 24.7Hope line at 1-87-7-8, Hope NY or text Hopeny to 467-369-holmberg's Morning

[Byron]

I Don't Know.

[Eric]

I don't think I'd do it you need serious help.

[Brady]

I every. You know what? Lie all you want, guys. You would try it once.

[Eric]

Oh, everybody's.

[Brady]

Yeah, exactly. You sit there and act like it's never happened, but it's. You've done it. And then if you had the chocolate, you. You'd look, you'd do this shifty look right, look left. I could do it. You'd do it. And you can sit and go gay, but you do it. Because I think it's gay too. But I'm at least honest. Enough said. Do it.

[Eric]

You're gay.

[Brady]

I know I'd do it. Only to me.

[Co-host Dave]

What would happen if that plane would go down?

[Brady]

Very attracted to me. So if I had my own unit in the freezer.

[Co-host Dave]

Chocolate Wilson the volleyball would be a wreck.

[Brady]

Yeah. Wilson's eyes would just be closed all the time.

[Eric]

That's what really went on on that.

[Brady]

Admit it, everyone. You would do it. You would give yourself a test run.

[Co-host Dave]

If you just like a dog.

[Eric]

You can't physically do it.

[Brady]

No, no, I know. But if you're not, you're missing the point. You pull yourself out of the fridge because you got your chocolate.

[Eric]

Fridge is on an island.

[Brady]

I'm not talking about the island. I hate you right now. And you just see, you know, you do it. Toledo. Toledo says you do it. Of course, Brady, you do it. You do it to. You do it to glasses and bottles as a joke, not as a castaway. Once it's in the fridge, I'm lost.

[Eric]

Are we on an island or are we not on.

[Brady]

The only reason you would do it is so in case some day you're on an island. You would know what it was like. What you're practicing. You're practicing for when you're a castaway. What's the matter with you? This is easy. Get some paper and draw this out for you. Currently I'm fine.

[Co-host Dave]

Moving on.

[Brady]

If I had a chocolate schwance of myself myself in the fridge that I got for somebody for Valentine's Day and they left it there. I'd give it a test run. I wouldn't take it, but I'd do it in the. You know that's ill. Yeah, that would just be wrong. I agree.

[Co-host Dave]

I wouldn't give it a test.

[Brady]

You would totally give it a test. I've seen you do it to beer bottles as a joke to people. You're licking up the side.

[Co-host Dave]

That's not a test run.

[Brady]

Yeah, it is. Then what is it, 2A days? You look like you get pretty good at it.

[Co-host Dave]

According to a study by The British insurance company, Churchill. Over the course of her working life, her. I mean women in General. Average woman spends 22, 655 bucks on clothes that she never wears. Ever. Right now, at any given chick's closet has an average of 540 bucks worth of clothes. Clothes in her closet that hasn't been worn in the past year.

[Brady]

That's my.

[Co-host Dave]

And she'll never wear again. Well, guys, over the course of our working life, we'll spend almost 14 grand, 13,973 bucks on clothes we'll never wear, which is still 40 less than women. And the month for women that most likely buy clothes.

[Eric]

March.

[Co-host Dave]

We're in it right now.

[Brady]

January.

[Co-host Dave]

January, January.

[Brady]

Wonder why shouldn't you be broke from Christmas? Yeah, no, women aren't. They didn't buy anything.

[Eric]

Oh, that's true.

[Brady]

They got you a card and like, gifts to get to McDonald's.

[Co-host Dave]

I wrap myself in a bow.

[Brady]

It's not a gift for me, really.

[Co-host Dave]

A survey of 25, 000 people by the website makefriendsonline.com shows that 71 say they choose the loving relationship. Just so you know, 80 of women said they choose a loving relationship. 64% of men agreed that they'd rather have a loving relationship than a great. Than great sex. Idiot.

[Brady]

They chose love over they.

[Co-host Dave]

Yeah, a meaningful relationship where you have deep, magical, spiritual.

[Brady]

Oh, who wrote this?

[Co-host Dave]

Connection.

[Brady]

What is.

[Co-host Dave]

Or would you rather be in a relationship where you don't particularly get along, but when you do the nasty, it's so intense?

[Brady]

That's better. You don't have to talk to the girl. If she doesn't get along with you either, she's not going to tell you about her day. You stick with the girl you don't like who has great sex. Not the loving, meaningful relationship together. I've had them. I have had it.

[Co-host Dave]

And if you have that, combo, stick with it.

[Brady]

Marry the girl you don't like who you have great sex with?

[Eric]

Yeah, that'll work.

[Brady]

Because at least you go, so what? It barely works the other way.

[Co-host Dave]

Is there such a thing? Combo.

[Brady]

And is there great sex, great relationship? Yeah, it's rare. No, no, it's not. It happens quite a lot.

[Brett Vesely]

It does.

[Brady]

But yeah, that's stupid. If you. If you've chosen loving, deep relationship over great sex, your gay.

[Co-host Dave]

The Treasury Department. Okay, Treasury Department printing facility in Fort Worth has no idea how it happened, but there's a $20 bill it printed 1996. Might be the strangest piece of US currency ever. Somehow a Del Monte banana sticker got onto the parchment before the bills were printed. So there's actually a $20 bill where some of the ink is printed over the sticker.

[Brady]

Cool.

[Co-host Dave]

That's got to be worth some dough.

[Brady]

Is it 25?

[Co-host Dave]

25? 300 bucks is what it's sold for.

[Brady]

Are you kidding me?

[Co-host Dave]

Some guy in Orlando, Florida bought it.

[Brady]

Why?

[Eric]

It's like that baseball card.

[Co-host Dave]

I'm telling you. You go to those? I went one time to over here. At the fair? No, the fairgrounds, where they have the coin collectors. Those guys are into it.

[Brady]

Yeah, no, that's weird. 25 grand for a banana sticker on a dollar.

[Co-host Dave]

Got a photo of it.

[Eric]

It's like that Mark McGuire car to when he was all skinny and stuff

[Brady]

with the pre steroids.

[Eric]

Oh, wait, there's nothing wrong with that.

[Brett Vesely]

Never mind.

[Brady]

It's rookie card. It's definitely a misprint.

[Co-host Dave]

Quick warning, since it is a month away from vd, I have a new STD to report. It's out there. It's everywhere. It's called urethritis.

[Brady]

Ew.

[Co-host Dave]

It's a condition that causes the inflammation of the male urethra. The part of your equipment that you know carries your urine from your bladder out the cronk.

[Brady]

Wait a minute. What's right?

[Co-host Dave]

This can cause urinary tract infections, UTIs, burning, swelling, all that fun stuff. Research came out of University of Washington. It shows that just might be transmitted via fallacious actions. What does it do which would qualify as an std?

[Brady]

A UTI from a

[Co-host Dave]

being folated.

[Brady]

I've had that. Oh, well, it was a long time ago.

[Co-host Dave]

Well, now they're calling it a name. It's happening more often, huh? From that.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. She was drinking and I decided that she was gonna and play the saxophone,

[Co-host Dave]

if you know what I mean. Rock candy.

[Brady]

She was drinking and eating nerds. And a few got in there. No. And then that was that big urethra. That was the big urethra that Dr. Weber told me about. But I didn't know there was an Esther std. I thought it was just alcohol.

[Eric]

You're gonna die.

[Brady]

No, it was years ago. I should be fine.

[Co-host Dave]

Finally, a jury in Camden, New Jersey was examining a bloody jacket and an attempted murder trial when it seems they figured out the mode of the crime. Hidden inside the jacket were 30 bags of crack that the cops somehow had to found. Now the information the jury got sent home and the cops are reopened opening the case.

[Brett Vesely]

Sure.

[Brady]

That's bad police work right there.

[Co-host Dave]

Big ups for the jury cracking that case.

[Brady]

It got all the way to the jury. Yes. They found the crack.

[Co-host Dave]

Yep.

[Brady]

Brilliant. 6:37 in the morning sickness. Nice job. But I'm just saying, if you had the. Are you. Would you do that for Ronnie, then, Brady, for Valentine's Day? If you're unit in chocolate.

[Byron]

No.

[Co-host Dave]

She'd feel very short changed.

[Brady]

What if you included the. The step kids? That would just be weird.

[Co-host Dave]

Boy, that would be a. That would last a month.

[Brady]

Yeah, because you're an older fella. That's a long dip. I give the homburg dilly bar out for people. Maybe I'll give you guys that. That's what I'm gonna do.

[Co-host Dave]

You can make it like a Klondike.

[Brady]

That's just weird because we're dykes in it.

[Eric]

That's what you're gonna do.

[Brady]

I'm gonna get you guys Valentine's presents this year, and they're all gonna be my schwann going straight into the garbage. Why still delicious chocolate?

[Co-host Dave]

You could call it, you know, the Klondike. You just drop the E. Yeah.

[Brady]

Klondike bars. That's a great idea. Brady, what would you do for John's Klondike bar?

[Co-host Dave]

Nothing.

[Brady]

I'll eat it. And you know, you'd do it now. It would be really gay if I gave you that for Valentine's Day and then you tested it.

[Eric]

Oh, it's just gay, you giving it

[Brady]

in the first place. No, that just makes you uncomfortable. I'm laughing all the way home.

[Co-host Dave]

Clonawilly.com.

[Brady]

clonawilly.com's gonna get my business.

[Eric]

I hope you stick your unit in some chocolate and it burns off.

[Brady]

Thank you, Eric. I hope you have a great year.

[Co-host Dave]

I hope you tear your ACL and your unit, man.

[Brady]

Yeah. Oh, Carson. Palm job. Same problem. That is your Brady report. You know you'd try it. It's 98 KUPD. My delicious Klondike bar. It's out of control now.