02-20-26 - Chocolate Cronk - Klondick Bar - reactions/calls - Jan 2006 - BO

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness - “Chocolate Cronk - Klondick Bar – Reactions/Calls – Jan 2006 – BO”

Date: February 20, 2026
Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness dives into the off-beat topic of “Clone-a-Willy” kits—novelty gifts allowing people to make chocolate or rubber replicas of their private parts—as the hosts swap stories, field hilarious listener calls, and dissect the absurdity of these products. Interspersed with laughter and good-natured ribbing, the crew explores whether these bizarre gifts are genuinely romantic, sheer comedy, or just a recipe for disaster.

The tone is irreverent and cheeky, with classic Morning Sickness banter throughout.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Clone-a-Willy Craze

• What is it? The hosts explain and react to “Clone-a-Willy” kits, which let people mold personalized adult toys, either in rubber or chocolate (01:12–02:07).
• Gift Ideas: John jokes about gifting a clone as a romantic gesture, “If we started handing out your unit like it was a gift, maybe they'd start looking at it like it was a gift. Know what I mean?” (01:45, Host)

2. Listener Experiences

• Caller Gretchen shares she’s used a kit for a traveling partner, emphasizing it’s a kit, not a “shared machine”—“No, no, no, no, no. It's not a machine. It's a kit that you buy and you take home.” (02:26, Caller Gretchen)
• Cost Revealed: She mentions it's “kind of expensive… like 100… that's expensive to me, man.” (03:27, Caller Gretchen)

3. Hurdles and Hilarity: The DIY Disaster Stories

• Another caller relates her struggle:
  “These directions are insane… as you mix, make sure to keep the situation up and going and be ready to insert into this…” (05:18, Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story)
• She complains about the lack of time to get from mixing to molding, the need to multitask, and the difficulty of maintaining the “situation,” especially as “the husband does not have any kind of erectile dysfunction” but this is just unsexy and frustrating (05:53–06:18).

4. Comic Banter & Ongoing Bit

• The hosts riff on the un-sexy, logistical nightmare of these kits:

  • “What’s the difference between that and making cookies?” (06:22, Co-host 2)
  • “That's a job. There's nothing sexy about that.” (08:53, Host)

• They muse about alternative “gifts,” like making full ranges of “evolution” molds as gag art pieces (09:33–09:54):

  “You know that evolution poster where it's like a caveman and then he starts to straighten up a little bit? You do all the stages of your unit… the evolution of your wood. That would be a great art gift.” (09:33, Host)

5. Behind the Scenes: On-Air Control

• The show highlights the need to be ready for swearing when callers get real:
  • “You put your finger on that dumb button. The minute I heard her talking, I'm like, she's going to swear.” (08:08–08:10, Host & Co-host 1)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Gift Giving Absurdity:
  • “If you took the time to clone your unit for her, you know…” (09:13, Host)
  • “It’d be even funnier if you—do it flaccid…” (09:14, Co-host 1)
• Practical Frustrations:
  • “The mixer just doesn't give you enough time to get from point A to point B…” (05:39, Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story)
  • “I was looking for, like, a brownie smooth.” (07:29, Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story)
• Host’s Sarcasm:
  • “Hopefully the real thing's still keeping you happy…” (07:48, Host)
• Art Idea High Point:
  • “I'm gonna make that and put it up over my fireplace. Just make guests uncomfortable.” (10:09, Host)
• Comic Exasperation:
  • “How is this supposed to be erotic again, I don't know.” (08:37, Co-host 1)
  • “Well, there's a little work involved.” (08:33, Co-host 2)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:12–02:07: Introduction to Clone-a-Willy & chocolate body part gifting
• 02:08–03:35: Caller Gretchen’s experience and cost discussion
• 03:36–05:09: Banter about the practicality of kits; transition to sports gear chatter
• 05:10–07:56: Second caller’s Clone-a-Willy disaster story—process, frustrations, outcome
• 08:08–08:29: Hosts discuss on-air swearing risks and radio logistics
• 08:29–09:54: Wrap-up banter—mock art gift ideas, “evolution of your unit”

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Episode Tone & Takeaway

The crew’s tone is consistently light, irreverent, and sharply comedic. They treat the subject matter with a blend of curiosity and open ridicule, using it as a springboard for outrageous gift suggestions and to dissect how novelty products like Clone-a-Willy expose the gap between “sexy” in theory and the messy reality.

This episode serves as both a wild ride through listener oversharing and a send-up of over-the-top Valentine’s gift culture—making for an entertaining and uniquely HMS installment.

Transcript

[Host]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Host]

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[Host]

This is the big red radio 98. At the end, people are talking about their chocolys and cloneawilly.com. is that right? Yes, cloneawilly.com. we're on it right now. That's a great gift for your lady friend. Clone hyphen. A hyphen Willy. I think it'd be a nice gift.

[Co-host 1]

Why do you think that would be a good gift? Because it would be a funny gift?

[Host]

No, because you know why women dipping their boobies in chocolate and giving them to you'd be like, oh yeah. So yeah, but if we started.

[Co-host 1]

It's just cheesy.

[Host]

It is cheesy. But if you started handing out your unit like it was a gift, maybe they'd start looking at it like it was a gift. Yeah. Know what I mean? Hi there. Who's this?

[Caller Gretchen]

Hey, this is Gretchen.

[Host]

Hi, Gretchen. How are you?

[Caller Gretchen]

Good, how are you?

[Host]

I'm doing fine now. You've done this before?

[Caller Gretchen]

Well, we've done the rubber kind, not the chocolate kind.

[Host]

So you made a stay at home friend because maybe your boyfriend travels or husband or whoever.

[Caller Gretchen]

He does. Yeah.

[Host]

Okay, so he travels. So you've got him his cloned unit from cloneawilly.com in the rubber form.

[Caller Gretchen]

Well, we got it from castleboutique.com in the rubber form.

[Host]

You can do that? Yeah, at Castle Boutique. See, now, that would be disturbing to me, because the guy before you that used the cloner.

[Caller Gretchen]

No, no, no, no, no. It's not a machine. It's a kit that you buy and you take home.

[Host]

Really?

[Caller Gretchen]

Yeah, yeah. And you just. You make like. Like, it's this soft stuff that you make the mold out of, and it kind of hardens, and then you fill it up with this stuff that feels like skin kind of.

[Host]

It's like a replica. That's cool. I think I might make, like, a casting. Yeah, you cast it first. You do sound young.

[Caller Gretchen]

11.

[Host]

Okay.

[Caller Gretchen]

We can't talk to you anymore.

[Host]

She's 23. It's okay. All right, That's.

[Co-host 1]

We're just a little worried.

[Host]

We got nervous that Uncle Touchy was making you do weird things with the plaster molds. If that's the case, I'm gonna go to Castle. I'm gonna make all sorts of gifts for people.

[Caller Gretchen]

Yeah. It's kind of expensive, but, yeah, you can do it that way. And that way, you don't have to stick anything into, like, scalding hot chocolate or anything like that.

[Host]

Good idea. Well, you learn that the hard way. You learn that the hard way.

[Co-host 1]

Burn it off.

[Co-host 2]

They have those kits, too, at the Fantasy World.

[Host]

Do they? Okay, we'll go to Fantasy World. I'll pick some up. What's the cost? You say it's kind of expensive. What's it cost to make.

[Caller Gretchen]

Make 100 do. That's expensive to me, man.

[Host]

That's not cheap to make a. I've already got one, so. All right. Well, good. Thank you very. That's nice.

[Caller Gretchen]

Hey, no problem.

[Host]

All right. I wish I knew this. In November, everybody would have gotten a different Christmas present.

[Co-host 2]

I used one of those kits a couple years ago. Made a couple of fishing rods.

[Host]

Those ugly sticks. Yeah. Yeah. Those are awful. I know what you're talking. I used to fish with those. They're terrible. You can't catch anything. Pocket Fishermen. Yeah, The Pocket Fisherman. It's the best of Homburg's morning sickness. 98 KUPD. It's the morning sickness. You've accomplished nothing in your life. That's a nice looking shirt, though. That's right. Yeah. Got the air locker gear on early. You're gearing up for your game.

[Co-host 1]

I'm not gonna wait till Friday to wear my.

[Host]

Yeah, I don't. I didn't wear anything Friday. I'm talking about. Oh, Brady and his who day. Yeah, yeah.

[Co-host 1]

Brand new.

[Co-host 2]

Guess what?

[Host]

He just didn't work out real well.

[Co-host 2]

But actually, it was the second time ever I've worn a bangle garb. I played little league football, Bengals, but I don't think I owned a.

[Host]

That doesn't count.

[Co-host 2]

I made my shoes.

[Host]

You didn't try to put your high

[Co-host 2]

tops into Anthony Munoz bangle.

[Host]

You didn't try to. Were you an offensive lineman?

[Co-host 2]

Yeah.

[Host]

Yeah. You had to be Wee tiny.

[Co-host 2]

I know. I was. I was center and fullback.

[Host]

Wow. Because no one could see. Where'd the ball go? There's this ball floating anybody when you're that age.

[Co-host 1]

I played guard, and I didn't.

[Co-host 2]

I didn't take the snap. I just handed it to the quarterback because he couldn't get down that low.

[Host]

The ball wouldn't fit between your little tiny center leg. Speaking of things not going right, this lady tried the clone a Willy thing, and things went awry. So just when you thought the world was perfect.

[Co-host 1]

I don't know if we want to hear that.

[Host]

Are you there?

[Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story]

Yeah, I'm here.

[Host]

What did you. Oh, hey. What'd you do with your clone of willy that went so bad?

[Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story]

What did I do with it?

[Host]

Yeah. What happened?

[Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story]

I got pissed because it's expensive, and, I mean, these directions are insane. And they're like. As you mix, make sure to, you know, keep the situation up and going and be ready to, like, insert into this.

[Host]

All right?

[Co-host 1]

So I knew that was coming in

[Host]

just by your voice. Don't cuss.

[Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story]

I'm sorry.

[Host]

That's all right. Settle down.

[Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story]

Yeah. It's just really, really. The mixer just doesn't give you enough time to get from point A to point B and get it. It's just. It's not.

[Caller Gretchen]

No.

[Host]

That's brutal. And so it was tough, and the guy couldn't. He couldn't sustain. He had a little ED going the whole time.

[Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story]

No, my husband does not have any kind of erectile dysfunction.

[Host]

Okay, good, good, good.

[Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story]

It was just. I don't know, because the women have to do two jobs at once. They got to mix it, and then

[Co-host 2]

they got to be the situation.

[Host]

Oh, wait, you have to fluff him while you're mixing.

[Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story]

Yeah.

[Host]

Well, it's good training.

[Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story]

Your husband's standing there, and he's not doing anything but just standing there, like, wait for you to get all this crap done.

[Host]

So he couldn't fluff himself.

[Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story]

It's kind of annoying.

[Host]

The guy couldn't fluff himself while you were.

[Co-host 2]

What's the difference between that and making cookies?

[Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story]

The fun out it you know what I mean? That's, like the whole erotic part of, like, doing it. You know what I mean? But.

[Host]

Well, what did you do with the end result?

[Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story]

I threw it at him.

[Host]

All right.

[Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story]

Well, no, I was really upset and we just.

[Co-host 2]

Did you cry trash? Did you cry over this?

[Host]

Wait a minute, you tosh. The guy's schlong. That's hard to say.

[Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story]

No, the tube with the gunk in it.

[Host]

Because it was. I see what you're saying.

[Co-host 1]

So he's real erotic.

[Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story]

I mean, it would take, like, you had some meter north of sorts to, like, penetrate that tube. It was crazy.

[Host]

You had some sort of a mangled, retarded schlong come out of that thing, like some sort of a Frankenstein clone.

[Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story]

It would have just been, like, a cylindrical shape thing. It wasn't.

[Co-host 2]

So what you're saying is you probably didn't get the right formula on the mix.

[Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story]

I get.

[Host]

Well.

[Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story]

And he's like, okay, let's do it. And I'm like, no, let me just mix it a little bit more. Because it was, like, really lumpy, right? Oh, I didn't read the directions, apparently, because the direction said, you gotta get

[Co-host 2]

all the lumps out of it.

[Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story]

Just do it, you know? And I was looking for, like, a brownie smooth.

[Host]

Sure. You need. Yeah, like you're making a cake. Like you're making cake.

[Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story]

Exactly. And he was just like, you're gonna ruin it Now.

[Host]

Do you use. Do you use the cake mixers? The. The little beaters and then just somebody.

[Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story]

Maybe I should have. It probably would have mixed better.

[Host]

I don't know. I don't know. Well, good. Well, hopefully the real thing's still keeping

[Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story]

you happy and keeps you very happy.

[Host]

All right, good. We'll stop dipping it. We'll talk to you later.

[Caller with Clone-a-Willy Story]

Thank you.

[Host]

All right, see you. There you go. Thank you. I knew that laugh was coming. It's funny that women who smoke and you know, she smokes or smoked are going to cuss when they're on the radio.

[Co-host 1]

It's hilarious. You put your finger on that dumb button.

[Host]

The minute I heard her talking, I'm like, she's going to swear.

[Co-host 2]

Yep. They always do weird, like, Primate missed.

[Host]

So three 15 seconds. You got 15 seconds before I got to hit the button. And then we lose 3.5 seconds of our lives because we dumped it. It's weird. Now we're in a time space.

[Co-host 1]

So basically, the cloning, the unit, you know, there's not good.

[Co-host 2]

Well, there's a little work involved.

[Host]

There is some work involved.

[Co-host 2]

You Gotta have a good mix.

[Co-host 1]

How is this supposed to be erotic? Again, I don't know.

[Host]

In the end, you got an extra.

[Co-host 2]

Not necessary. I don't think they're making the actual cloning event an erotic event. I don't think you should turn it. But you're just actually, you know, she

[Co-host 1]

was trying to make it into a porno thing. You know, again, the whole fun of it.

[Host]

Yeah, the fun of it. No, that's a job. There's nothing sexy about that.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, I don't see it.

[Host]

I don't either. 6:57 in the morning sickness. Although still a great Valentine's Day gift. Women say that, you know, that study that came out, that all they want is a letter. We all think that that's crap. But if you took the time to clone your unit for her, you know,

[Co-host 1]

it'd be even funnier if you just.

[Co-host 2]

With your letter with your letter tied around it.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, just do a flaccid.

[Host]

Go in a pool.

[Co-host 1]

Get in a pool for like an hour, jump out and then do it.

[Host]

Give her your. No.

[Co-host 2]

You know, that way. That way.

[Host]

That's a great idea.

[Co-host 2]

That way you can do a multiple molds.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Co-host 2]

You have plenty kids good for one mold.

[Host]

You know what you could do? Yeah. You spend four or five hundred bucks on this gift, though. You do the. You know that evolution poster where it's like a caveman and then he starts to straighten up a little bit. You do all the stages of your unit and then give her like the evolution of your wood. That would be a great art gift. That would be awesome.

[Co-host 2]

You do it based upon activities. You know, swimming.

[Host]

Yep, swimming. And then you just have it running. What to expect.

[Co-host 1]

Like a science experiment.

[Host]

But what to expect while it's going, you do it like a 20 minute jog and then you dip it in

[Co-host 2]

the stuff sitting in the steam room.

[Host]

Yeah, Great idea, Brady, because you got the plump one, you got the cold one, you have the warm one, hard one. Oh, that's a great idea. I'm gonna make that and put it up over my fireplace. Just make guests uncomfortable. It's 98 KUPD. It's out of control. Now

[Field Reporter]

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[Host]

Hey, good morning.

[Field Reporter]

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[Host]

Yep, they sure are.

[Field Reporter]

We make it easy for him to save on all his insurance needs all in one place with coverage that fits his business and bottom line. Oh, I shouldn't have looked down.

[Host]

It's all right.

[Field Reporter]

We're so far up here.

[Host]

Look at me. Take a deep breath.

[Field Reporter]

I'm good. So good.

[Host]

Get a commercial auto insurance quote [e-mail] and see how much you could save. It feels good. To Geico.