02-21-25 - BR - FRI - Natl Language Day Brady Confuses Us On Most Spoken Language Stats - SciNews On Mummy Smell And Headphone Ear Damage

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode Summary: 02-21-25 - BR - FRI - Natl Language Day Brady Confuses Us On Most Spoken Language Stats - SciNews On Mummy Smell And Headphone Ear Damage
Release Date: February 21, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

---

Listener Interaction: Early Height Loss Concerns

Timestamp: [00:39 - 02:48]

The episode kicks off with John Holmberg addressing a heartfelt email from a listener named Jared. Jared expresses distress over losing half an inch in height at the age of 30, attributing it to donating plasma. The conversation blends empathy with humor as the hosts lighten the mood.

• John Holmberg:
  "I've been there and it could be a bad measurement. You might have lost a half inch just based on the idea that you're sucked up. Go get a better job. Stop selling plasma."
  [01:22]

• Bret Vesely:
  "Maybe your sister put a spell on you."
  [02:48]

The discussion highlights the camaraderie among the hosts, combining genuine concern with playful teasing to engage listeners.

National Language Day: Debating the Most Spoken Languages

Timestamp: [04:16 - 09:53]

Brady Bogan introduces the topic of International Mother Language Day, sparking a lively debate about the most spoken languages worldwide. The hosts delve into statistics, clarifying the distinction between native and total speakers.

• Brady Bogan:
  "Happy Language Day. Over 7,000 languages are spoken around the world. What do you think number one is?"
  [04:27]

• John Holmberg:
  "So English is number one. Chinese is not."
  [06:09]

• Dick Toledo:
  "English."
  [06:10]

The conversation reveals differing perspectives, ultimately concluding that English holds the top spot when considering both native and second-language speakers. The hosts discuss the complexities of language classification, especially regarding Chinese dialects and India's linguistic diversity.

Science News: Mummy Smell and Headphone Hearing Impact

Timestamp: [14:40 - 17:10]

Brady shifts the focus to science news, presenting intriguing findings that captivate the audience.

1. Mummy Smell Study:

   • Brady Bogan:
     "What does a 5,000-year-old mummy smell like? A woody, spicy and sweet smell."
     [14:43]

   The hosts humorously speculate on the pleasant aroma of ancient mummies, considering factors like embalming oils and long-term decomposition.

2. Noise-Canceling Headphones Study:

   • Brady Bogan:
     "Noise canceling headphones could affect your hearing if you use them too much. But they don't actually damage your ears."
     [15:22]

   John reflects on his discomfort with such headphones, leading to a discussion about modern technology's impact on daily life and societal behaviors.

Delta Airlines Compensation Offers

Timestamp: [16:36 - 23:30]

The hosts critique Delta Airlines' offer to compensate passengers with $30,000 each, sparking a debate on its adequacy and implications.

• Brady Bogan:
  "Delta Airlines offered the passenger 76 passengers 30,000 each. That seems pretty good."
  [16:36]

• John Holmberg:
  "If somebody told me in my car accident, hey, you're okay. You're physically fine, here's 30 grand for your trouble... That seems reasonable."
  [17:10]

• Dick Toledo:
  "You'd think Delta's like, this is. We'll pay your taxes on this."
  [17:55]

The conversation explores the balance between corporate settlements and genuine passenger concerns, questioning whether the compensation truly addresses the distress caused by incidents.

Protector App: Armed Security Service Launch

Timestamp: [20:22 - 22:17]

Brady introduces a new app called Protector, described as "Uber with guns," offering armed guards for personal transportation in high-demand cities like LA and New York.

• Brady Bogan:
  "Protector is available right now in LA and New York. For a thousand dollars, you can have an armed guard pick you up and shuttle you around town."
  [20:22]

• John Holmberg:
  "What are you doing wrong that you need this service, that your company's not covering it?"
  [21:18]

The hosts debate the necessity and ethics of such services, considering societal safety concerns and the implications of privatized security.

News Highlights: Traffic Accidents and Lingerie Football

Timestamp: [23:30 - 28:04]

A series of quick news segments provide listeners with updates on local incidents and unusual events.

1. Rodeo Drive Scooter Accident:

   • John Holmberg:
     "They T-boned a Range Rover on motorcycles. That's not good."
     [24:04]

   The hosts lament the lack of community assistance, noting how bystanders are more inclined to film accidents than help.

2. Lingerie Football League Incident:

   • John Holmberg:
     "They're strippers, basically, who play some football. And they're athletes."
     [25:15]

   The discussion critiques the portrayal and management of the league, touching on issues of safety and professionalism.

Bizarre Video Descriptions: Shocking and Humorous Reactions

Timestamp: [26:23 - 31:08]

Towards the end of the episode, the hosts share and react to a series of bizarre and explicit videos, blending shock value with humor.

• John Holmberg:
  "Oh, my God. She's clean about 30 seconds. You're good."
  [27:18]

• Brady Bogan:
  "That's how you break up."
  [26:29]

The hosts vividly describe the content of the videos, eliciting both laughter and incredulity from each other and engaging listeners with graphic and humorous commentary.

---

Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness delivers a mix of heartfelt listener interactions, intellectual debates on language statistics, intriguing science news, critical analysis of corporate compensation, and entertaining yet shocking video reactions. The hosts maintain a balance between informative discussions and light-hearted banter, ensuring an engaging experience for both regular listeners and newcomers.

Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg:
  "It is scary, though, slipping under six feet once you've been there. I've been there and it could be a bad measurement."
  [01:22]

• Brady Bogan:
  "Happy National Sticky Bun Day. And Happy Language Day."
  [04:18]

• Dick Toledo:
  "English."
  [06:10]

• Brady Bogan:
  "Protector is available right now in LA and New York. For a thousand dollars, you can have an armed guard pick you up and shuttle you around town."
  [20:22]

• John Holmberg:
  "You can resist sweets. It's not waterboarding. You just don't have to eat it."
  [16:59]

These quotes encapsulate the essence of the episode, highlighting the blend of humor, critical thinking, and candid conversation that defines Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

It's Dick Toledo and new customers right now on FanDuel get $150 in bonus bets when your first $5 wager wins. Just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to grab $150 in college hoops bonus bets with a winning $5 bet and prepare for March on FanDuel America's 1 sportsbook 21 plus in President Arizona first online real money wager only $5 first deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next- step or text NEXT STEP to you. Thought that was funny.

[Brady Bogan]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[John Holmberg]

What the hell is wrong with you? Just about that time for Brady to give you the news. Before that I got a couple of some house cleaning here. The emails are rolling in. This one getting keeping me busy says Dear John, I I gotta get help here. I had my height measured. I was donating plasma and he told me I'm shorter than I used to be. I was always 6ft 1 inches and 3 quarters. So I always said 6 2. The measurement I was 6 1.25. I've lost a full half inch. It's just gone. How am I supposed to live with myself? I'm only 30 now. That is disappointing. That is scary. Being 30 and losing a half an inch. That's too early. That's too.

[Brady Bogan]

That's early shrinkage.

[John Holmberg]

That's too soon. But I will. I'm gonna put two things on this one, Jared. First off, you're donating plasma. I'm assuming you're under a of financial pressure and that'll make you kind of tighten up a little bit. I'm a man who has always lived his life right at six feet. Even I will be under six feet someday and that condition is terminal. And if it ever gets to like 58 or 5 9, I will no longer be on this planet because no man should. Nope, sorry buddy. No man should ever have to live at that height. It's not a human height, it's not a male height to live at. But I understand your pain. Being 30, losing a half an inch. Just think it's all going to go downhill from here. You've still got an inch and a quarter of man sized height of 6ft or more. Don't worry about it. It could have been a bad measurement. You're in a plasma office so your body's probably tensed up a little bit you might have lost a half inch just based on the idea that you're sucked up. Go get a better job. Stop selling plasma. Relax a little. Maybe you'll stretch it back up to six. One and a half. It is scary, though, slipping under six feet once you've been there. I've been there and it could be a bad measurement. I went and I got measured twice at 5, 11 and 3 quarters. Scared me to death. And then went back two more times and got to 6ft. I'm at 6ft. Out of shoes, by the way, not in shoes. I'm holding at six feet. I understand it's a death sentence.

[Brett]

Maybe your sister put a spell on you.

[John Holmberg]

And there's also that if you've been hanging out near my sister's hot shrink. A dink lamps. Are you an uncle? She will kill you. And before we get on this one says, morning. A Juno's. Damn. It says, I've been a massage therapist for 10 years. And I can definitely say that massage should not be relied on. Just energy work. Never believed in the lasers. And good therapists rely on both Eastern and Western massage techniques or beliefs. Her sister sounds like a nut job. And there is a reason I have a different job now. His name is Chancellor. That's why he doesn't call me Chancellor. He calls me Juno's. Why don't you send Thriller over to your sister's house and see if that Chinese light can cure him. Worst case scenario, get a new host of the Square. I don't want her to kill Thriller. We're just now getting the. No, Thriller can't kill Thriller right away. Kid's hilarious. I mean, I don't even think of Michael anymore. That's Corey's song. There you come tumbling out of your mom way too early. And you got a limp for the rest of your life. You look like one of the zombies from the video. And I get to meet you. And Brett gets to put Thriller's theme song on you. I don't want to cure that. I want that to live forever. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report. And then we say, brady reported.

[Brady Bogan]

Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world. We've made it.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Brady Bogan]

Happy National Sticky Bun Day. And Happy Language Day.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, I have that.

[Brady Bogan]

It's the International Mother language day. Over 7,000 languages are spoken around the world. What do you think number one is?

[John Holmberg]

Language.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Italian?

[John Holmberg]

No, it's probably Chinese.

[Brady Bogan]

Chinese?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, okay.

[Brett]

Sorry about that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, a lot of Chinese people learning on Spanish. Malone.

[Brady Bogan]

Spanish is second. 486 million.

[Brett]

I thought that would have been number one actually.

[Brady Bogan]

English is third. 380 million. Arabic fourth. That's the top ten for native speakers. But if you look at total worldwide, the results are different.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute. What?

[Brady Bogan]

The speaking most popular language spoken just based upon popular population of China has got the most people speaking the other countries. There's more people that speak know how to speak English around the world than any other.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so English is number one. Chinese is not.

[Brett]

Correct.

[John Holmberg]

Boy, it would help if somebody spoke the language. So you're saying that the number one language spoken in the world is Chinese? Unless you count all the people that talk English.

[Brady Bogan]

That's the number. Chinese is the number one language spoken for the native speakers.

[John Holmberg]

Native of China.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

So Chinese is the number one language in China worldwide.

[Brady Bogan]

The results are different.

[John Holmberg]

God damn it. All I'm asking you. I don't know is there's more people. Speak what language in the world? It's English. English is the most spoken language in the worldwide.

[Dick Toledo]

English.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Dick Toledo]

How about that?

[John Holmberg]

That's all I want.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. It's 1.5 billion that can speak English, whereas Chinese, 1.3 native.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Chinese people speak Chinese.

[Brady Bogan]

They couldn't go.

[Dick Toledo]

They could have 200,000 more people.

[John Holmberg]

So in China, there's probably 202 billion people in China that I don't know. I'm just throwing it out there. Help me out. We're not going to sit in semantics. Yeah. Probably most of them speak Chinese, right? Yes. So that would probably be a number around 2 billion. The world 7 billion. Let's say 2.2 billion speak English at.

[Brady Bogan]

Some point or another saying 1.5.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not going by your number. I'm just throwing out a number just to make it easy for everybody. It's already too late. My head hurts. China has the most people, so they speak Chinese the most.

[Brady Bogan]

Brett's face has already dropped.

[John Holmberg]

The world speaks multiple languages.

[Dick Toledo]

Don't mistake it. Brett loves it.

[John Holmberg]

But more people in the world speak English. That's the most prominent language in the world. China isn't, but there's a lot of people in China and they speak Chinese, so that's big. I bet you India's on that list.

[Dick Toledo]

John, may I offer a phrase that will help?

[John Holmberg]

India has 30 languages.

[Dick Toledo]

Can we say primary language versus secondary language?

[John Holmberg]

Thank you. Yes.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

That can't be how that was written. Unless it was a guy who speaks English as a second language. That got super confusing.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, pop. Pop has it Wrong again, boys.

[John Holmberg]

What is it?

[Dick Toledo]

There is no Chinese language. They speak Mandarin or Cantonese.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. They have two, right?

[Brady Bogan]

Well, they have.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Correct.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay, so 900 million speak Mandarin.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

And when you break it down, I mean, there's 7,164 languages. I mean, there's. No, there's not.

[Dick Toledo]

But, man, in India, there's are different. Like.

[Brady Bogan]

But would that be considered Chinese language?

[John Holmberg]

Correct. No.

[Brett]

I'm going to take a lap myself.

[John Holmberg]

I can't handle this.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

From China. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't know if it's Chinese, though, because India.

[Brady Bogan]

There's Hindu. There's.

[Dick Toledo]

Right, but you don't say Indian language.

[Brady Bogan]

It's an Indian language.

[John Holmberg]

The study was basically just saying Chinese was why they did the study. Like, how many people speak one versus the other? So it says from. Just from places where the official language is spoken, how many people speak it? And still China won with 900 million speaking Mandarin. But just saying Chinese lumps 400 million Cantonese. Right? Well, that's the assumption, but they could also. There's dialects.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Then Spanish is two, English is third. That's for native speakers only.

[Brett]

Tommy would like to know what language Brady is speaking.

[John Holmberg]

No one knows. That's why I'm trying to straighten that out. I don't even know what Londa is. That's an Indian. Pakistan. But India and Pakistan, like 20 different languages. They got tons of them. Bengali and all that Hindi. But then those are dialects, though, right? Well, those are actual languages. They're not. They're not. They're not even like it. Some of those things in India don't even sound like other Indian languages.

[Brady Bogan]

Hundreds of millions will speak this one.

[John Holmberg]

But 1.5 billion people on the planet can speak English in some form or another. Communicate in English. Doesn't mean it's their native language. And Chinese is not a language.

[Brady Bogan]

A couple of baseless fun facts.

[John Holmberg]

We already hit that.

[Brady Bogan]

The Murder Accountability Project tracks homicide data nationwide. And they've said that nearly 300,000 people have died in unsolved homicide since 1980. That averages out to 6,666 people per year.

[Dick Toledo]

And John's watched a show on every one of them.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, I've seen pretty much everything. John Holmberg's Morning Sickness, the 98 KUPD. Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Brady Bogan]

Fancy Ketchup is an actual USDA grade. It's the highest grade. Ketchups are rated on color, consistency defects and flavor. There's A, B and C. And fancy.

[John Holmberg]

What do they call it?

[Brady Bogan]

Standard.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. And what's the second one?

[Brady Bogan]

Extra standard.

[John Holmberg]

Wow, that's dumb.

[Dick Toledo]

So a certain amount of defects are.

[John Holmberg]

Allowed to be extra standard. The standard is the standard.

[Dick Toledo]

Nope.

[John Holmberg]

Standard. A little more standard. Well, then you just raise the ceiling. This is the standard. This is the line we go to.

[Brady Bogan]

That's fantastic.

[John Holmberg]

Do a little extra standard.

[Brady Bogan]

You got fancy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's like 103%. It's not a real thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Buzz Aldrin's mother's maiden name was Moon.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. So it was in the stars. Really? No. It's a beautiful thing. That was a beautiful moment. It's real. That wasn't a joke. That's real. It was real. Brett, don't do that.

[Brady Bogan]

Hewlett Packard just added a minimum 15 minute wait time for everyone dialing into their call center. It just started yesterday. Although only in Europe for right now. And they're admitting that the purpose is to encourage people to use their online resources to solve their own problems. They're targeting the people who are clogging their phone lines with issues that can be easily handled online.

[Dick Toledo]

Use Chat GPT.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, but the other people that are calling there, like it's a little more complex now, have to wait at 15 minutes before they can even get hold of anyone. We'll see if that continues here in the US if they will open that up.

[John Holmberg]

Everything's about to go crazy. Everything's going to change soon. AI Chat GPT, everything that you used to do that took. It's all going to be goofy. And if it's anything like our streaming services, it's all going to be backwards to technology. It's going to be clumsier and harder to use than it used to be. And they're going to call that forward thinking again. Bill Mar just did a thing on it. We've been talking about it here for years. I never understood, like, who was saying, God, I hate keys. I sure would like to. It's just another thing that breaks in your kind of push button. So we were that lazy that you still have to do the exact same thing. And then he's, you know, he was going on about valet parking. I used to just give a guy a ticket and he'd go get my car. Now I have to go on an app, I have to download the app. I have to tell him I'm ready. They gotta go get my car. And he's like five feet for me. And I can see my own goddamn car. And I gotta give him 10 bucks.

[Brett]

Hey, Chief, give me the key.

[John Holmberg]

I'll go get myself used to be here you go, and then you move on. It's reverse technology. Like everything that's supposed to advance us is clumsier because we use technology. It doesn't mean it's better.

[Brett]

I'm that way with menus and restaurants. Oh, here's the QR code. We don't have paper menu.

[John Holmberg]

You son of a. Gotta download our app. I'm like, you just snowed me.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

And I've seen you. Now you got to use a flashlight.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Well, everybody does now. I've noticed that. That's kind of a common thing. Is it? It's young.

[Brett]

I just admit it now I'm just like, I'm the old guy. Don't care.

[John Holmberg]

I, I, I was okay with it the other day. I looked over and there's like a table, people in their late 20s, and they all had flashlights on the menu. I'm like, it's not just me.

[Dick Toledo]

Good.

[John Holmberg]

There's a lot of something going on with menus that made it so we can't see them. It's like they're an invisible ink or something.

[Brady Bogan]

So you put a light on the hardware company. Stanley, Black and Decker is suing the maker of Stanley Drinkware over the use of its name.

[Dick Toledo]

Wait a minute. They're not the same. I thought they were the same.

[Brady Bogan]

Why? The reason why it's happening a year after Stanley tumblers were all the rage because apparently it went too far and gave Stanley a bad name. The lawsuit filed this week, Stanley, Black and Decker, says the makers of Stanley Drinkware violated an agreement from 2012 about when and how it could use the name. When millions of the mugs were recalled last year, the use of the name Stanley made it seem like the defective products came from the Stanley, Black and Decker.

[John Holmberg]

Toledo thought.

[Brady Bogan]

It's unclear how much they're seeking in damages.

[Dick Toledo]

The logo looks the same.

[John Holmberg]

You're. Yeah, I didn't. That's weird.

[Brady Bogan]

And now it's time for some science news.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady Bogan]

Hello, my friends. Professor Brady Bogan here with your science news mentioned it earlier this week. We had some mummy news, but the question was answered. What does a 5,000-year-old mummy smell like?

[John Holmberg]

Sandalwood.

[Brady Bogan]

Study found it smell pretty good. You're right there. A woody, spicy and sweet smell.

[John Holmberg]

It's like walking into a pier.

[Brady Bogan]

One held up all those years that they used to.

[John Holmberg]

Or maybe just after a couple thousand years, the decomposition starts to smell sweet.

[Dick Toledo]

When they anoint them with all that oil.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Who knows? Maybe it just takes a long time for them to smell Good.

[Brady Bogan]

In AirPod news, noise canceling headphones could affect your hearing if you use them too much. But they don't actually damage your ears. You just get so used to the background noise, your brain can't possess it, process it. So in other words, it gets harder to hear things like dialogue and movies when there's music behind it because you.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's weird. Interesting. And that's if you're using the buds and stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Which I don't know is canceling part. Yeah, yeah, the noise canceling. Okay, that's true. I have a set of headphones that has that and I don't like them. Makes me feel like I've got a cold.

[Brett]

I like them on a plane.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, on a plane.

[Brett]

But that's about it. I won't wear them any other time.

[Dick Toledo]

Just because that constant white noise.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't. It makes me feel like I've got congestion. I don't like the way they sound. I don't like having my ears covered. That's why I love those meta glasses so much. As the speakers are in the ears and you hear, it's awesome. But you can still hear everything around you. Especially when I'm biking, riding around with those in my ears. I can still hear a guy flying, going, I'm coming on you. Behind you. You hear people. Instead of those nut bags that walk around just blind to society, almost get run over 20 times a hike.

[Brady Bogan]

A study figured out why you can eat a huge meal and still have room for dessert.

[John Holmberg]

This study you did done it many times.

[Brady Bogan]

These same neurons in our brain tell us were full also release a hormone that makes us crave sugar and only sugar. Experts say it could lead to new weight loss drugs for people who can't.

[John Holmberg]

Resist sweets or refuse to resist sweets. You can resist sweets. It's not waterboarding. You just don't have to eat it.

[Brady Bogan]

That's your science news. Did you see Delta Airlines offered the passenger 76 passengers 30,000 each? That seems pretty good.

[John Holmberg]

People.3 million people are bitching about that.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Whether or not I don't know what happens if some agree and some don't.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's look you made was scary. Sure. But you scare me and I'm walking out. Just if somebody told me in my car accident, hey, you're okay. You're physically fine, you're not injured. Here's 30 grand for your trouble. Like, okay, seems I don't have to buy a new car. I don't have to. Is it tax free? Probably not. That's probably a ding, but still, 30 grand for scaring the hell out of me once. That seems reasonable.

[Dick Toledo]

You'd think, what's your number? Crash should be tax free.

[John Holmberg]

You'd think so. You'd think that Delta's like, this is. We'll pay your taxes on this. But what's the number that people want, though? Like, what is the price? That?

[Brady Bogan]

Don't know. I don't know if that. You know, it's being presented that way, that maybe they've already.

[John Holmberg]

Like, if you and I were driving around in a car and you flipped it over and scared the hell out of me and we walked away. Okay. And then you're like, here's 30 grand. Sorry about that. I'd be like, you know what? Thank you. That's nice.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know why everybody's like, that's. I can't believe. What is it? You. You nearly killed me and I only get 30 grand? All right, what's your price? You walked into my office to complain. I think everything's fine and straight up.

[Brady Bogan]

If they said, we'll give you 30 grand in flight credits, how about this?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, that's what. My buddy Billy didn't get anywhere near that. And they gave him. All they gave him was a free flight to Pittsburgh the day after his plane crashed. What? Yeah, I know that I'd be getting like 50 grand through lawsuits. And people died on that one.

[Brett]

Yeah, I'd be pissed about that one.

[John Holmberg]

But at first they're like, do you want a free ticket tomorrow? We're covering that, right? The top of the plane it was on, came off.

[Brett]

Was it still in coach?

[John Holmberg]

You know what? That's the thing. I don't know. I don't know if they gave him first class or not. That's a good question. But he got. I think he got 50 grand. But this is 1990, so it's a pretty nice. And, you know, he's 20 something, so he got a nice chunk of change, but, you know, they couldn't just hand it over. I don't know if maybe you give me five years of free flying, just one ticket. Let's not go crazy. I'm not getting a family package. 30 grand, cash. And if you have any therapy things, we'll cover that because you're going to have some ptsd, some loud noises for a while. You might have some night terrors, too.

[Brady Bogan]

But maybe that initial, you know, 30 grand, that number is. That's factored in there.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, let's do fun. 30 grand. This is Just free and clear. If you have bill us for your therapy, we'll cover that too. And then you get a couple years of flying for free. Just you, though. Just a one. One pass. Sure.

[Brett]

I think you should get a.

[John Holmberg]

A pair.

[Brett]

You should get a buddy pass.

[John Holmberg]

Get a buddy pass. That's.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't know about that.

[John Holmberg]

What would you take? Would you take free first class just for you or two in coach?

[Brett]

Oh, first class for me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's right. She's on her own. I'm with you. Have fun.

[Brett]

And Coach Matthias.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And I'm not giving this one up.

[Brett]

Nope.

[John Holmberg]

John Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a private security service called Protector just hit the App Store this week. People are calling it Uber with guns. It's available right now in LA and New York. For a thousand dollars, you can have an armed guard pick you up and shuttle you around town. And an Escalade for five hours.

[John Holmberg]

I can do that if I just.

[Brady Bogan]

Get law enforcement or active duty.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady Bogan]

The app was announced last year, but there's a video showing what could have happened. Because the healthcare CEO, that's the reason why they're rolling this company out for other people that feel that way. They want that security, and that's just an opening package. There's an annual $129 annual fee. The prices start at 1,000. You can pay more to protect multiple people or have a motorcade with you up to three Escalades.

[John Holmberg]

What are you doing wrong that you need this service, that your company's not covering it? How bad a human being are? He's like, hey, I think people are trying to kill me. Do you guys want to cover that? No, do it yourself or you just.

[Brady Bogan]

Want to have it? All right.

[Dick Toledo]

Do I get expenses?

[John Holmberg]

It's neat. Once.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think I want the armed courier every time. Drive around with Brett and his Ford. Yeah, he'll get you A to B with it. Get an armed guy and the Tactical Black guys, they'll get you out there. You'll be good. Just go to Tactical black and teach yourself how to be a little bit.

[Brett]

How much is it?

[John Holmberg]

They say is a thousand bucks. You said?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, for five hours.

[John Holmberg]

Thousand bucks.

[Brett]

That's not bad.

[John Holmberg]

You know what you should do is take that to prom or something. Prom season's right around the corner instead.

[Brady Bogan]

Of getting a whole lot out here. Yeah, if you're in LA and New York right now.

[John Holmberg]

But even still, Brett will do it, and I'll be. I'll be with him. I got a little training under my belt. Me and Brett will take care of you and your prom date. Well, it sounded bad.

[Brett]

To get in the back of the Navigator. There you go.

[John Holmberg]

This is John. Delta's offering 30 grand because they know they're going to have to pay more if it goes to litigation. You're a Jew. You should know this. All right, first off, no, but that offer was.

[Dick Toledo]

There's no strings attached, right?

[John Holmberg]

They can still sue. They're just like, look, 30 grand for your troubles. I thought it was a nice thing Delta did. Most people would wait for the litigation and try to. Right, that was a nice thing. Go. Here's 30,000. Is 30,000 a nice number? Yes. You're all walking. Everybody's good. We did our job. By the way, the Delta, they didn't plan this. They weren't sitting back laughing. Give 30 grand to get it out. What a great video. They weren't happy with this. They lose, you lose. Everybody gets 30 grand. They're scared.

[Brady Bogan]

I do think free tickets are signing anything like, you agree to the 30 grand and saying, I'm taking this now.

[John Holmberg]

You can always go back. There's always something. If it starts to look like it's negligence and everything else. If they make you sign something and say, you can never, ever revisit this, then don't take it. Yeah, but if they're just saying, here's free and clear, 30,000 bucks, you're like, cool. I will take that because I've got therapy immediately. I've got some stuff to worry about. You know.

[Brady Bogan]

I got a couple of three quick radio videos. First one happened on Rodeo Drive. It's a double scooter hit.

[John Holmberg]

We're out here in Beverly Hills. Science. Science news is still going, too.

[Dick Toledo]

Got it.

[John Holmberg]

So we're at Rodeo Drive, and there's dudes on motorcycles. Everybody's facing. Okay, okay, so we're. All right. Here we go. We're on this very nice section. Oh, two. Two of them go right into a Range Range Rover. Right into the side door of a Range Rover.

[Dick Toledo]

Range Rover had the green light.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They were running a red light. And they go. They T boned a Range Rover on motorcycles. That's not good. Guy in the Range Rover is not getting out.

[Brett]

What's Franken doing?

[John Holmberg]

Another banging on that. Why are they banging on him?

[Dick Toledo]

He's just running over their bike.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, well, he's got to get his car out of there.

[Brady Bogan]

Were they filming something? I mean, mini bikes.

[Dick Toledo]

Every one of them has a GoPro.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Every one of everybody has cameras out. Nobody helps anyone anymore. There's dudes laying in the road, and somebody's filming it from 12ft away. That's what. I wouldn't even film it. I just leave.

[Brett]

All right.

[Brady Bogan]

Got a little play football. Yeah. Check out this play.

[John Holmberg]

The lingerie football league is fantastic. Johnson up to. Bad snap to Caldwell. Caldwell picking it up now and able.

[Dick Toledo]

To regain some of the yardage.

[Brett]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

But this hit is. That is a. That is targeting. That girl should be suspended for a game. AJ Johnson, a poor snap. I would watch this. You haven't seen this. This used to be on espn. Lingerie football is. There's some sexy girls in this, and then there's some really not so sexy girls in this, and they're in the same thongs.

[Brett]

I mean, I would watch this over wnba.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. These girls are athletes. Caldwell picking it up now and able.

[Dick Toledo]

To regain some of the yardage.

[Brady Bogan]

First down.

[John Holmberg]

They're strippers, basically, who play some football. And they're athletes.

[Brett]

America.

[John Holmberg]

It's America. And some of them have amazing butts. And then they show the offensive line, and they're in the same uniform, and it's. It's called an offensive line for a different reason than lingerie football. Horrifying.

[Brady Bogan]

The last one I call a breakfast bro fight.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

Hard night of drink in there.

[John Holmberg]

A couple dudes first thing in the morning in their pajamas throwing blows out in the parking lot. Pretty good fight. Throwing some uppercuts. Ooh, a couple left. Ooh, he's got him Back he goes into the KFC window. Oh, he's out cold.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The final punch finished him. Pretty even fight up till then. The kid in the pink shirt surprisingly landed some big ones. He can take a punch, too. Two body blows. The right hook to the. Okay. Left hook sends him staggering into the ropes.

[Dick Toledo]

Shouldn't have paid attention to your.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, that's why you. Boy, you wear a belt or tie him up.

[John Holmberg]

He was. Yeah, he was dizzy, though. That left staggered him and then the right closed him up. That's a good fight. And again, nobody tried to break that up. Couple dudes just filming it.

[Dick Toledo]

That's all purpose.

[John Holmberg]

That's society.

[Dick Toledo]

That's what the goons did.

[Brady Bogan]

That's how they decided to buy in lunch for breakfast.

[John Holmberg]

All right, Bert, let's start off with this. Oh, man, it's an old lady. Oh, God. What is that? Old lady naked in the bathtub. She's hosing off her vagina, and it.

[Dick Toledo]

Looks like sea cucumbers.

[John Holmberg]

It Looks like Billy Bass is coming out of her vagina. I think it's gonna sing to me any second now. She's got a handheld water wand. He's hosing off the beast. And it's. It's in. The sleeve is inside out, folks. That can't be real. It's real. It's anatomy. I'm gonna keep this on until she finishes. I'll tell you what. That. She's clean about 30 seconds. You're good. Why is she wearing the babushka?

[Brett]

Yeah, I don't know about that.

[John Holmberg]

Is this.

[Brady Bogan]

Didn't want to get water on her hair.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she can't get her hair wet. She's got stuff to do.

[Dick Toledo]

She married that.

[John Holmberg]

She's got a ring on. Oh, my God.

[Dick Toledo]

All right, next.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's the way it ends. I thought it would end with, like, a bang.

[Brett]

That one wasn't that good.

[John Holmberg]

That thing hung out from the beginning. It didn't even bubble out. It started that way. All right, here's the sex contraption. I can't quite. Oh, God. It's a Just. It's. It's Butcher knifing off a guy's genitals. Oh, my God.

[Brett]

That's gonna be a hell of a cleanup man.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that is a big OJ knife, too.

[Brady Bogan]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my Lord. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. That's terrible. All right. She cut it all off. All right, we got it.

[Dick Toledo]

It was on a cocktail fork.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Hello to the world. Hey. I never thought of, like, Carter. There was so little blood in that video. I could have used her help. I mean, I left a mess.

[Brett]

Here's some.

[John Holmberg]

Just saying.

[Brett]

Just part of town you don't want to be in in a country you don't want to be in.

[Dick Toledo]

Is something hanging off there? Is that something?

[Brett]

This is something in the video.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Okay, so some stuff hanging down in the video. A couple of. Maybe the hair person film dudes in Laos or something fighting in front while the traffic goes by. Did he just.

[Brett]

No.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay.

[Brett]

Just threw something on him.

[John Holmberg]

Two dudes fighting one. Is that a. Oh, just don't. Threw some gasoline on a guy and then lit him on fire.

[Brady Bogan]

That's how you break up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. You know what, though? He ran away, and he's fine. He did the exact opposite of what Dick Van Dyke taught us. And the fire went out. And then the person who lit him on fire is gonna walk out into. Okay, traffic is stopped.

[Dick Toledo]

He's still on fire.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that dude's still burning up. That's a woman yeah. So the one that they lit on fire ran off and went out. The one that did the lighting is. Got some invisible fire in her hair and body. Got her clothes off. Wow. Man. Some countries are just ugly.

[Dick Toledo]

Part of Thailand.

[John Holmberg]

If I lived there, I'd want to be lit on fire just looking at that video.

[Brett]

And we're always looking for something new.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, no, we're not.

[Brett]

And I think we found it with this one. All right, get ready, boys.

[John Holmberg]

Here we go. All right, I will explain as we go.

[Brett]

Let me just make this a little bigger here.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you. All right, there's two. There's a two. There's a butt on top of another butt. And in one of the butts is gigantic. Just wait. Just wait. Oh, my God. There's gonna be a person pooping. Nope, that's an egg.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Son of a bitch. I don't know if I can even. I'm just gonna stand up and clap. I've never seen anything like that in my life. I have never seen anything like that in my. Brett. Now I'm gonna do my best to. To describe this to you. Okay? So here's the thing.

[Brett]

I don't know how you can.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I gotta see it again. That is on again. I just. This is remarkable. The. The planning and the thinking and the. And the engineering of this. This marvelous event. So one woman has her butt straight up in the air. Another woman has a gigantic sex toy in that butt. She takes the gigantic sex toy out of the butt. Another girl squats over the butt that just had the sex toy on it, and then poops out a smaller sex toy right into the other one. And then they start having sex with each other. That is impressive. And none of that was clumsy. No. I hope that was the first take. And when she poops out there.

[Brett]

Nice aim, too. I mean, look at that.

[John Holmberg]

It's Perfect. That's a 10. And then they just. And then she just starts riding it. That is. That's the most remarkable thing I've ever.

[Brady Bogan]

Dude, that perfect.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that really is it. Dude, perfect. You have nothing on these guys. And they're all pretty, which is remarkable. Normally it would take.

[Brett]

I'm just gonna end there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you can't top that one. No, I've never seen that in my life. We gotta hurry up.

[Dick Toledo]

Kim Kongdon is here.

[John Holmberg]

Kim Kongdon. We'll get Kim in here next. It's where? Downtown up at Desert Ridge. Okay, there you go. I got that. That's coming up next. It's 98k, but I've never seen anything like what I just saw. Most powerful, powerful rock radio station.