02-21-25 - FULL SHOW - FRIDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: 02-21-25 - FULL SHOW - FRIDAY Release Date: February 21, 2025 Host: John Holmberg with Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo

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1. Hockey Showdown and Nationalism in Sports [00:36 - 07:34]

John Holmberg kicked off the episode by discussing the thrilling overtime victory of Canada over the USA in a hockey series, highlighting the intense national pride embedded in international sports competitions.

[01:37] John Holmberg: "Could you imagine a seven-game series between Canada and the United States? What the ratings would be like because they would go seven games."

The conversation delved into the challenges of maintaining high viewership in regular season games, particularly when regional rivalries lack the national significance needed to captivate a broad audience.

[04:33] John Holmberg: "Live sports is where it's at for entertainment now."

Brady Bogan and John Holmberg brainstormed innovative ways to boost hockey ratings, including the idea of integrating statehood battles into the games, which they humorously suggested could involve financial and political stakes.

[05:20] Brady Bogan: "Maybe move the line a little bit. Go along Montana. Give him, like, 25 miles."

2. Local Murder Case: Kimberly Lecount and Kipling Harris [07:34 - 25:07]

The hosts shifted focus to a gripping local murder case in Arizona involving Kimberly Lecount and her secret lover, Kipling Harris.

[17:48] John Holmberg: "She convinced her secret lover, Kipling Harris, to kill her spouse, resulting in a triple shooting and a double murder."

John Holmberg provided detailed insights into the case, discussing the legal implications for Lecount and the psychological dynamics at play.

[20:43] John Holmberg: "The Count's lover is someone named Kipling Harris. This is straight out of like 80s soap operas."

The discussion touched on the media's role in portraying such crimes and the ethical considerations of turning real-life tragedies into sensational documentaries.

3. The Impact of Social Media on Personal Tragedies [25:07 - 37:50]

A significant portion of the conversation revolved around how social media platforms like YouTube and Instagram inadvertently aid in solving murders by providing abundant personal footage and vlogs.

[27:49] John Holmberg: "Documentarians just can build a documentary without even starting a camera. They've got so much footage of themselves."

The hosts debated the societal obsession with documenting every aspect of life online and how it affects personal privacy and the narrative surrounding tragic events.

[29:08] John Holmberg: "But until you die, let Gabby Petito be your guide. Her videos were horrible."

4. UFO Sighting Over Gaziantep Airport, Turkey [37:50 - 67:53]

John Holmberg reported on a strange UFO incident where an unidentified flying object hovered over Gaziantep Airport, prompting the shutdown of the entire airspace.

[62:09] John Holmberg: "Pilots reported it. They had to dodge it because that's where you're coming in."

The hosts discussed the government's ambiguous stance on UFOs and speculated on the implications of such sightings for future extraterrestrial contact.

[63:37] John Holmberg: "Contact will happen before 2023. That UFO stuff is going sliding under the radar."

5. Parental Influence and Social Media Overload [67:53 - 94:02]

The dialogue shifted to the challenges parents face with their children’s involvement in social media, particularly the uninterest in mundane content unless it’s sensationalized by tragedy.

[28:17] Brady Bogan: "They'd have that or the footage that they'd use or the sonic spoof commercials from years ago."

John Holmberg criticized the oversharing culture among parents, emphasizing that ordinary life moments rarely capture public interest unless something dramatic happens.

[29:33] Brady Bogan: "My brother puts a compilation together once a year. It's at Christmas, and it's..."

The hosts humorously lamented the futility of sharing everyday moments online, likening it to a death sentence for viewer engagement.

6. Online Security and Privacy Concerns [94:02 - 130:56]

The conversation transitioned to the importance of online security, password management, and the vulnerabilities associated with modern digital practices.

[120:00] Kim Congdon: "My boyfriend's grandfather just passed away."

John Holmberg shared personal anecdotes about password breaches and the perils of inadequate online protection, reinforcing the necessity of robust cybersecurity measures.

[128:39] John Holmberg: "I have a set of headphones that has that and I don't like them. Makes me feel like I've got a cold."

7. Upcoming Events and Promotions [131:00 - 155:07]

The hosts promoted various upcoming events, including concerts, local improv shows, and grand openings for local businesses. They encouraged listeners to attend these events, offering tickets and highlighting notable performers.

[137:00] John Holmberg: "Disturbed tickets on sale now if you want to go to that thing."

8. Interview with Dave Draiman of Disturbed [155:07 - 160:00]

A standout segment featured an in-depth interview with Dave Draiman, the lead singer of the rock band Disturbed. Draiman discussed the band's creative process, the challenges of maintaining relevance over decades, and their plans for future tours and album releases.

[156:54] Dave Draiman: "Whenever we finally do get together, the chemistry is undeniable."

Draiman emphasized the importance of a loyal fan base and the dynamic collaboration between band members to sustain their creative output.

[158:53] John Holmberg: "Do you feel like when you guys are together, it's almost like having that, I guess, the chemical relationship with another human being?"

9. Comedic Segments and Listener Interactions [160:00 - End]

The latter part of the show was filled with comedic sketches, playful banter, and interactions with listeners. The hosts showcased funny and bizarre online videos, blending humor with their signature irreverent style.

[161:07] John Holmberg: "I have never seen anything like that in my life."

Segments included humorous takes on viral content, mock interviews, and playful threats about fictional scenarios, maintaining an entertaining and engaging atmosphere throughout.

Notable Quotes:

• [01:37] John Holmberg: "Could you imagine a seven-game series between Canada and the United States? What the ratings would be like because they would go seven games."
• [17:48] John Holmberg: "She convinced her secret lover, Kipling Harris, to kill her spouse, resulting in a triple shooting and a double murder."
• [27:49] John Holmberg: "Documentarians just can build a documentary without even starting a camera. They've got so much footage of themselves."
• [63:37] John Holmberg: "Contact will happen before 2023. That UFO stuff is going sliding under the radar."
• [155:07] Brady Bogan: "We're going to Action Ride Shop tomorrow over off of Hawes."

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Conclusion

The February 21st episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness delivered a mix of intense discussions on sports nationalism, a detailed look into a local murder case, reflections on the pervasive influence of social media, intriguing UFO sightings, and an engaging interview with Dave Draiman of Disturbed. The hosts balanced serious topics with humor and interactive segments, offering listeners a comprehensive and entertaining morning radio experience.

For more episodes, tune in weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM on 98 KUPD (97.9 FM), the 98 KUPD app, or visit www.98kupd.com.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

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[Brady Bogan]

Thought that was funny.

[John Holmberg]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Friday. It's 5:45. This is the morning sickness. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett, there's big Dick Toledo, and. Well, let's just get it out of the way right off the bat. Go, O Canada True patriot love Sing to the overlords in all of God's command Going strong and free Sorry that happened last night. They got us. They win on a game that.

[Brady Bogan]

What a game.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Amazing. Amazing series. Amazing everything. Canada wins in a overtime thriller. And the thing was just. Man, you could strap USA on the jerseys of most athletes and then throw them out there for a sport nobody cares about, ever. Women's soccer, for God's sakes, gets huge ratings when it's USA versus and there's something on the line.

[Brady Bogan]

They got a year's worth after the fact.

[John Holmberg]

They tried to get a year. They did not. They did not. They got a lot of yelling and screaming, but they won the. You know, back in. Was it 99. They got that huge win against China, and everybody's like, well, there's the next biggest sport in the world, women's soccer. And it was nuts. And then we discovered, oh, no, we're just a bunch of crazy athlete patriots. So they tried, and they're like, we'll start a league and girls will start playing. And then it was just ghost town after ghost town when you tried. How can you. You unite an entire nation? I mean, we all have something in common for the first time. And then you go back to Columbus versus Portland. Nobody's going to ever watch that. So same with hockey. It's. It. Drew, Hockey's a great sport, but I don't care when Tampa plays Nashville. And it's probably good teams and stuff. You just. It. Basketball's got the same problem. I mean you just. I'll wait until it matters. Unless I got a horse in the race, I'll go down watch Sons. But when they suck, I'm not going out of my way to watch this stuff. Now you throw USA on their shirts and make it worth something. I could. Could you imagine a seven game series between Canada and the United States? What the ratings would be like because they would go seven games. These two teams are identically matched. It's. It's a, it's the perfect video game. 99 versus 99. It's. It was outrageously good. Just great sports and you know when the flags are on the line. Ah, I thought last night that we should offer up a seven game series to Canada and winner take all win the series. United States wins it. Canada's a state like you keep. And then if they lose, like if, if. Then we are their military for like until they. And for two years like we do it every two years like they don't have to pay for anything militarily. We'll go up there and be their guys and we'll pay for it because I think it would be worth it. And plus revenue alone on those. If you put giant stakes on this thing like you know, Trudeau gets to do like two their. Their prime minister gets to do two laws here in the United States. If the Canadians win like two big ones and he has to announce them before and they're probably pretty crazy. So pass two laws. They'll both be Canada favorable. Or we just make Canada a state and then they can. They have to fight for their statehood or their, their sovereignty every two years. That hundred hundreds of millions would watch anyway. What don't you think we kind of.

[Brady Bogan]

Do that anyway on the. I mean the wages would say we'll be their military.

[John Holmberg]

We are their military. I mean we'd officially make it so you can like those dudes never have to worry about anything. USA all first. And I know they probably don't but Canada acts like they've been in wars and stuff but they've been behind us in wars. But like some sort of finance. I'm just throwing something out there, some sort of financial benefit like race. Hey, you're racing for pinks. You're throwing. Yeah, you're racing for states or you know they get a state for a year that's a Canadian state now and then we have to like flip flop everything. It's always just like a push of a button ready to go. We want Arizona this year. And, like, come on. You're fighting for Arizona. Could you imagine? I mean, it would be incredible. Incredible. Incredible. They can have California. I think I'd throw that match. But you go.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe move the line a little bit. Go along Montana. Give him, like, 25 miles.

[John Holmberg]

Scoot more. You get some. You get a bite of America. God damn it. And then a bunch of people in, like, White River, Montana, would be like, oh, we're Canadian for a little bit. We really need them that bad. I mean, Canada. I mean, how much syrup and Moosehead beer do we drink in this country? You know what, though? Just to have it. It's ours. There's, like, oil. We have Tucson, too.

[Brady Bogan]

Timber.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then we'd start playing Mexico for. I bet your soccer team would get better if Mexico's like, hey, how about a little friendly? Like, we get some of America. We've already got a good portion. No, like, officially, like, oh, Jesus Christ, no. Dallas.

[Brady Bogan]

We get thin.

[John Holmberg]

All of a sudden, our soccer team would get real good, real fast. Real good, real fast. My guess is Ronaldo would be a resident of Florida, like Perman. And he. But, yeah, just put it on the line, because I was Every single, you know, trip across the blue line, Mike. I'm like, oh, come on. Come on. And then overtime. Oh, us was just pumping the goalie for Canada was crushing it. And now go back to watching Columbus and Carolina. Nobody's gonna. Who cares? There's nothing. There's nothing meaningful anymore. That meant a ton. Next year's the Olympics. They're gonna go at. And don't forget, you got a couple other countries, like Sweden and, you know, there's some of the European teams that you got some. You got some power over there that can knock off Canada or the United States anytime. Oh, that was so fun. That was. We got it. We got to have more. I think the hockey. The hockey gods just saw, oh, we need to be more like soccer. We need a separate league of. Of countries playing each other. Like, that's what this. That's what this is. Like, the way soccer just in the middle of the season has, like, a tournament, a real one of just countries. And it's huge. It's not even the World Cup. It's just. They do it every year. It's great. Those guys never stop playing. One thing I'll give soccer players as floppy and weird as they are, there's their one season ends. They start another season with another league, and then that ends, and they got another one.

[Brady Bogan]

Could we borrow that player for a year? Yes, go right ahead.

[John Holmberg]

Right on. But he plays up here at wherever, whatever stupid name football club of blank is. And then he goes and plays for Spain and they got real Argentina and they get the World games. It's like a war. Oh, that was so much fun last night. I didn't watch it. So no fights? No, it was clean last night. Any booing during the national anthems? A little smattering of booze for Canada in the beginning. But when they won it all, they raised their flag, did the old Canada with the team on the ice. And what's going on with Boston? Well, Boston, I mean, they just chilled out now. And that was in Boston. I mean, they'd be booing like crazy.

[Brady Bogan]

They did a pretty good job.

[John Holmberg]

They booed a little, but there was a lot of Canadians in the crowd. But they cheered. They cheered louder.

[Brady Bogan]

A lot of USA chants.

[John Holmberg]

Boston, come on. Yeah, they were stepping up. Boston. You were hoping for it, but I don't know, maybe that was just the broadcast. Maybe ESPN bounced out all the racist booing, turn into the scumbags you normally are. Yeah, you're Boston. You've got a reputation uphold, and that's being a bunch of unlikable pricks who are way too into one thing at a time. Like Duncan and Ben Affleck and the Bruins and stuff like that. And the Red Sox, for God's sake. You're a bunch of creeps. Yeah, you're creepy. All the Patriots, you're creepy weirdos. Be that when we need you. Boston, come on. But it was. Yeah, it was. That was. That was mind numbing. I tried to get things done and just. I'd freeze, watch hockey for a while. I got in there, I started to. I was trying to work out and the TV's on, so I'm just staring at it. I'm like, ah, back to what I'm doing. Focus. And it was just so great. And that overtime was a blast. So live sports is where it's at for entertainment now. And that's all we got. But I think. I think the ratings for that will be great. People who don't care about hockey, me watched, you know, from the puck drop to the end. And I like hockey as a sport. I don't. I mean, we. We got strapped with the Coyotes and probably going to get them again. Oh, that would be a good one. One year if the US Plays for franchises, you get a Canadian then. So then you just lose a franchise. So Canada like this, this Maple Leaves or something. So it's like the Tampa Bay Lightning are now up for grabs. Like, it's pink slips. I like that we play for slips. All right, here we go. We got this team and that. And there's teams that are like cities that will actually lose something substantial to them.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I was going to say we'd have. I was thinking of one, but it'd be more to lose on our part. Like, if they swapped out, they could program Monday Night Football. We could take hockey night Friday.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they get control of our football. They. Oh, God, we. Okay, there's a good one then. I like that. Is that if Canada Wins, we add 10 more yards to our football fields and 10 more to each end zone. Well, it was Canadian football fields. I don't know. It was just awesome. It was just awesome. But I got. I got super excited about it last night, and I just started thinking this would be pretty good. If Canada plays for statehood, like, and it can't be touched. And then they put something online. You got to put something up. And I hate when that happens. Like, usually it's like the mayors of each city. The mayor of Phoenix has offered up some chimichangas if they. Oh, Christ. Nobody cares when mayors. But they bet a T shirt because they've got a T shirt factory.

[Brady Bogan]

Put it on.

[John Holmberg]

This one did a. It's Nashville. So they did figurines of Elvis and Wisconsin will give them a year's worth of cheese. Like, that's dumb.

[Brady Bogan]

And those guys that played last night, one day back on the ice on Saturday with their club.

[John Holmberg]

So long, boys. Great time. And then, yeah, as their buddies were.

[Brady Bogan]

Coming back from vacation, the best part.

[John Holmberg]

Was a few dudes playing for Canada played on the same team as a few dudes from the US and they're banging into each other like they didn't care. There was just so much heart in it. You don't see authentic fights, authentic heart, authentic feeling. Like you did through this. You put seven games between those two on tv, and, man, you're selling hockey like you can't imagine. Because that did wonders for hockey. But again, I don't believe that. That's like, they think the sport won. It's just nationalism. One, we. We love the USA like crazy. Canada is a non war threat. So you can have a little brotherly, you know, kind of sibling rivalry with Canada. It's more just, we love each other. We just, you know, we've got a couple little issues between each other. It's family. And then we got that weird cousin down there called Mexico that keeps looking at us like, Jesus, they're nuts. But they're around. We love them, but they're here. And yeah, he's still working on the hockey thing. It's fun. Yeah, But Mexico, you tell Mexico, hey, citizenship for 5 million people. If Mexico's hockey team could be, they would be 2 to 1. It would be 2 to 1. They'd figure out a way they'd like rollerblade and stuff. They'd have like, stuff they got at garage sales on the ice. There's like pots and pans with knives that they've carved on the bottom. They'd be industrious with their uniforms. But Mexico's hockey team, it would take them about six months to get good. If you're like, hey, you all earned citizenship with. With one victory, we'd beat him like 31 to 5, 32 to 6. And then the next thing you know, like before or five games, it's like, geez, it was only three to two last time Mexico's picked it up.

[Brady Bogan]

Imagine how nice the facility the cartel.

[John Holmberg]

Would build for it would be spectacular. They'd have shivs hidden in their pads, constantly bleeding. They'd be punching with little razor blades in their hands, unintortion. Gaso says, a. Hey. He says a too. No, it's S A. Yeah. It was fun, though. It was what a game. And it's just depressing. Just depressing. I don't like it. What are you gonna do? It's. We need to do that with all our sports. Absolutely. Must do it with all our sports because we don't have, you know, you don't have anything.

[Brady Bogan]

Tried to. Tries to do it with that beginning, like, kind of tournament deal.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the soccer does. Stupid. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

But then it's. I mean, it's really big there.

[John Holmberg]

All they're trying to do that inter league. Yeah. With the Emirates tournament. And then they're trying to garner interest and keep it to where guys don't sit down. Like, the NBA's got a big problem with dudes just going, I'm not going to play like 25 games a year, so I'll pick and choose. Especially early in the season. So it kind of incentivizes the players to have meaningful games in November. And it doesn't mean anything to them. Who won it this year?

[Brady Bogan]

Don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody knows. Last year it was the Lakers and they celebrated like they won a championship. And they're like, they were told to do that. Lakers were terrible. It doesn't. It doesn't mean a thing. They get a little extra dough. It just doesn't mean a thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Added spice to Vegas.

[John Holmberg]

What? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They get. Yeah, they get it. They get a trip to Vegas for a week, and I don't know, we just need to put more on it. But USA on. I mean, curling gets ratings in the Olympics. You throw USA across a jersey and we're like, we'll watch that. Who are we beating? What. What country are we superior to? Because no matter what it is, you feel like you're at the end of it, that an entire nation won. We're smarter. Where, you know, we could kick your ass in a war, especially Canada. Canada doesn't have much. You know, they're kind of that string bean, that, you know, athlete. But they get their ass kicked if they ever got into a real fight. But they beat us in something and they're like, we're better than America. They love beating America. And we have to admit it worldwide, we're the New England Patriots. Like, we may not feel it, but damn right. All right, see, now, you can't switch it like that. You can't suddenly be happy to be a patriot. You know how much you hated the New England Patriots? Like, they just. They're. They're gross. They get all the help in the world. They've got, pretty boy. They're just this rich, constantly cheating. Yep, that's us. That's us. And all the other nations. I can't believe these guys get away with what they get away with. You know, the thing is, they didn't care. Exactly. You know, that's a good. Didn't care. That's a good point. They just kept collecting trophies. Call us whatever you want. A ring put on my hand or another finger for another ring. I'm sorry, I didn't hear you in your head. I didn't hear you bitching because I was getting sized for another ring. That's a good point. The bling was a little too loud. They didn't care. Nope, that's right. That's true. Apparently, Canada and the U.S. are going to be playing again in the World Championship in May. They do it again. There's another. Matt, hit us up. What's the World Championship? Is it going to be. I don't know. Is it going to be the hockey players or the NHL guys? Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

And then the winter.

[John Holmberg]

Be like the dream team. They take another break, I guess. I don't know. Playoffs are happening and then Winter Olympics.

[Brady Bogan]

Are next coming up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, next, Next.

[Brady Bogan]

Crazy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's just great. I just love it. More and more and more of that. That was that was, that was absolutely must see tv. It was the first time I've been. I've rushed home and I'm not missing a thing. I rode my bike and I kept my eye on the clock because I'm like, I gotta get home by 6. I gotta make sure I'm in that house at 6 o'clock and sat down, watch that thing. It was great, just great. And then the other thing I can't get enough of and I didn't follow this story here in the US of A. Right here in Arizona. In fact, a murder took place a while ago. I didn't know the details of this, but I'm going to look into it. The, the, the court case was between Kimberly lacount. She's being prosecuted. She could get the death penalty for masterminding this murder. And I'm like, ooh, murder story. Local, like it. It's just she convinced her secret lover, which you always have to love that phrase, her secret lover, to kill her spouse. Which resulted in a triple shooting and a double murder not only of the spouse, but of his parents, if I got it right. So the Count's lover is someone named Kipling Harris. This is straight out of like 80s soap operas. I feel sorry for soap opera writers because you can't come up with this stuff. It's truth. Fiction is reality. Now it says Kipling was already convicted of the murder, so he did it. But they're trying to figure out if she was the reason why she was married. This Lecount lady was married to someone named Alex Coon. And you're like, okay, don't Brett. That's not the fun part. Oh, it's not? No. He had recently transitioned from a female named Alice. So Alex was a transitioned female from Alice to Alex married Kimberly Lecount. Kimberly Lecount was banging Kipling Harris. Kipling Harris kills Alex Kuhn. Stop it. The parents, Peggy and Bob Kuhn. God damn it. I didn't see this coming when I wanted to bring it up. This is a great story. And Peggy got killed too. Bob got hurt. So the medical examiner was on the thing yesterday saying, you know, yeah, the autopsy came back. It says Mrs. Coons death was caused by multiple gunshot wounds. Things like, yeah, Alice Kuden was shot in the head three times. Stop it. And like they're trying to see if she can go to jail for her whole life for putting her secret lover up for killing her transvestite husband. And I'm like, how in the world have we not wrapped our arms around this in the state Of Arizona. How is this the first time I'm kind of hearing about this? Amazing. This is going to be a six parter on the ID network. There's no way. This isn't. You need to break out the Madden chalkboard. Follow that along. Because I'm just like transvestites doing this. What the hell? Back in the 80s when you wrote for soap operas, it's like, no Dorth. It's the whole premise of Tootsie. Tootsie was a. I'm a transvestite. It was just a man dressed as a woman who's married to a man. But this, this was a woman dressed as a man married to a woman who had a boyfriend named Kipling. And I mean Kipling and all the names are so.

[Brady Bogan]

It sounds like she was upset at him transitioning.

[John Holmberg]

No, I think she married him for trans. It was. Alice went into Alex. It was a woman that became a man and she married the man. You're. You're just stuck on that because you don't like transition.

[Brady Bogan]

No, it sounded like. I mean, I couldn't figure out why it was.

[John Holmberg]

She had a secret lover. Yeah, her secret lover and her were going to run off to the Bahamas or something. It's secret lover stuff. And they're like, the only thing holding us back is this husband of mine that used to be a woman. We gotta kill him. And so she starts plotting and gets her secret lover all fired up saying this poon that happens on the ID network, that's constant jail time. Phone calls are always like, the secret lover traps the lady who talked him into it by talking dirty to him. And then she finally says, I'm so glad we do what we did and I'm gonna stick by you the whole time. And. And he's like, yeah, but you know, if I shouldn't have done it, we could have. We could have done something different. But you know, it is what it is. She goes, yes, but we had to. We talked about this. And they always get them. They always get the lady who, who Frank. Who got the secret lover to kill. They always get her to talk. But this is a great story and there's a transition in it somewhere from Alice to Alex. That doesn't make.

[Brady Bogan]

That's what I'm saying. It drove her to a secret lover.

[Kim Congdon]

Well, you don't.

[John Holmberg]

See, you keep doing that. You keep acting like the. Like you can't get answers. Your answers are always kind of bigoted, religious based. Can't be a trend. You can't be. You can't be A man, a woman to a man and still have a relationship, you're saying, well, that drove her away. Who knows?

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe she was into go to another man.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but it doesn't mean she didn't like him. She just found someone else. It didn't have anything to do with transitioning. It's like I transition. She married him after he transitioned. She married. She was like she was with him. She liked him as Alex. That wasn't a thing that drove her away. You got like that.

[Brady Bogan]

I thought all of a sudden she, you know, was missing the D. No.

[John Holmberg]

You made that. No, she. He might have had a D. They might have plastered one on there. Might have unfolded one and grew one out. Might not have been a big one. It might have been one of those, you know. You know, steroid manufactured non hormone testosterone grow the. The bald man in the canoe. D's. I've seen those. China D, they call it China the wrestler, not the country. Although very similar size. But yeah, no, she was, she was fine with that. Like, that was her husband who. Mrs. Yeah, Mrs. Coon. That's right. Mrs. I'm going to go with Brett on this. Mrs. Coon married Alice. All right, who was Alex? She was fine with that. But then she found Kipling. And Kipling sounds like a guy who had some money and then she had some magic for Kipling. And she's like, I think I love Kipling more. But you know, my husband Alex, formerly Alice, you know, I don't want to divorce him because I lose money, I lose a house. I just got to get rid of this guy. So she talked Kipling into it. He was the only thing standing in the way of their perfect love. Great. And it says when you have. This is a good thing. It says because of how fast it all happened. One thing's not certain in the attack, though, because of how fast it all happened. Were the gunshot wounds where the medical examiner said he's not sure of something. He can't determine the order of who shot who or when person got shot. And the guy said, why is that? And he said, when you have injuries that are temporarily related, the injury patterns are going to be all bleeding. So I can't tell based off the injury who got shot first, second or third. So we don't know when Kipling started shooting, if it was like a rampage, if he waited for people. It was like, you know, was everybody in the room at the same time? Was this plot that they lure others in. Oh, it's pretty awesome. It's pretty great. So the Coons fell, man. Unbelievable. And Kipling's in jail. Poor Mrs. Coon. Yes, right. And tomorrow she's gone.

[Brady Bogan]

Hopefully Netflix is already on it.

[John Holmberg]

They have to be. This is a three parter. If it's anything I need to know about Alice turning into Alex. I need to know about the Coons. I need to know about Mrs. LeCount and do each. Each one gets their own documentary and then bring them together and, you know, somebody who transitions has like loads of videotape of themselves before and after. In this day and age. The best thing that's ever happened for me with the Internet and all this TikTok and nonsense with people posting photos and videos is that future murder documentaries, you've done all the work for the documentarian. You've got so much footage of yourself, everything. It makes the documentaries great. I always watch those things and wonder. I don't have any home videos of me that I've saved over the years. Maybe three. It seems like everybody who's been murdered has thousands of hours of themselves from age three. And even like from the 60s, there's like constant videos of people on road trips and running around the house. That. That applies. Like the murderers there, the dad's there, the kids. It's just constant. And now documentarian just goes, all right, let's see their social media. I can build a documentary without even starting a camera. A couple interviews. I'll be done with this thing in a heartbeat. I just need to edit their videos that they left laying all over the earth. It's great. So, you know, the Coons and. Stop it. And LeCount and Kipling all have, you know, tons of evidence of themselves that we can build stories off of. Made the Gabby Petito thing great. They were blogging. There's a ton of video. Them doing stuff that they can tie into a story, tons of it, all.

[Brady Bogan]

The way up until the.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you get to know the days before the day of. Yeah, you get to know the victims. You get to see them and hear them talking. Oh, the good part about the Gabby Petito one was in her diary. They used AI to read it as her. So they. They even said, so they're like, look, we're gonna. We're gonna read the. The parts of the diary that are read are in Gabby's voice through to artificial intelligence stuff. So it was her reading what she had written, which was a little creepy. And I can't imagine the family was all too comfortable with that. The funny thing is, with something like that, you're happy that they were bloggers and you got to see all this video stuff, so these crappy reenactments. Exactly. But if she wasn't dead and you see it on YouTube, like, oh, look at this jackass. It cares about you in your van. It takes a kidnapping or a slaughter to me to be interested in your. In your vlog.

[Brady Bogan]

And John said it yesterday, don't even call it a van.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know, it's. Yeah, it's a transit. The transit wagon. But yeah, I mean, that's. I mean, look at Instagram right now and think of all the things that chicks throw up there that would bore you to tears. Unless someone lobs their head off. Now all of a sudden, these videos and these TikTok dances have some merit. I can build the story around that. But while your head's attached, your vlogs and your videos and your. Your opinions are stupid, terrible. But until, yeah, you want to get Internet famous, that's the only real way. Guaranteed. Get your head chopped off. And get your head chopped off. Well, you'll get a ton of views. And that's. I'm not saying it's the right way. I'm saying it's a guarantee that all your videos that you want people, you want all that attention. Sorry, the only person not gonna see how much attention you're getting is you get your head lobbed off. I mean, had anyone heard of Nicole Brown Simpson before 1994? No. Now she's a household name. You get your head lobbed off and suddenly everybody's seeing your family photo album pictures of you. They've seen old videos of you, you know, around the house and videotapes you at a birthday party when you were five. Things that would have bored people to tears when you were alive are now of the utmost importance. Like, people are looking for clues that, especially in the, like in the murder shows when the uncle, like, turns out he's been touching the kids and stuff. And they have videos of them at birthday parties. And there's the uncle in the back. Like, look at him lurking. You'd have never noticed it while the kids heads were still attached. But once a head falls off, you start. You start looking for clues. And we're all disgusting that way. I don't all I have it like I have my phone is just packed full of videos. One of my dog's heads would have to get lobbed off to have a documentary to be interested because that's all I have.

[Brady Bogan]

They'd have that or the footage that they'd use or the sonic spoof commercials from years ago.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Yeah, well, we're different. We're different because we're in media. Yeah, I'm talking about the. Like. Do you think that if you didn't have this job, that any video you have ever done with Kirby at all is interesting to anyone in the world outside of your mother? Do you think you there. People do this all the time. Here's pictures of my kids. Here's a video of my kid. It is a death sentence.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, you do it.

[John Holmberg]

You.

[Brady Bogan]

You do it for the kid. You know, the thought is, oh, when.

[John Holmberg]

They get maybe older, then stop showing it to normal people at dinners. That's why people who don't have kids stop hanging out with people who do have kids. Is because people with kids. Brett, you can back me on this. People with kids don't know how to communicate. And before you know it, somebody's showing a photo of their child. Please stop doing that. Oh, here's blah, blah, blah. Here's blah, blah, blah. At the botanical.

[Brady Bogan]

Definitely easier at the hand, but at the same time, there's a. A lot of that. That transition has changed from the kids. You know, let me see a picture of your dogs. Let me see a picture.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. I. You know, nobody wants.

[Brady Bogan]

But I don't think they do. The. The days of where they're like, you're sitting down there, and they're like, oh, check this video.

[John Holmberg]

You don't have to. Now you have it in, and people don't. Parents don't realize how boring they've become when they're. When they look and they're like, do you want to see a bunch of videos of my kids standing there? No. Not a soul outside of you is interested in that. Nobody. Grandma and the parents. You don't ever want to see that. No. I've never once been at a dinner where I'm like, great, somebody's whipping out photos of their children. This is.

[Brady Bogan]

My brother puts a compilation together once a year. It's at Christmas, and it's.

[John Holmberg]

But you don't think people want to see this. There's Brandon murder. There's another murder stuff. Brady's head gets lopped off. This video gets interesting.

[Brady Bogan]

Right there zooming in on him because.

[John Holmberg]

You know what it would turn into? Into is Brady zooms in on an owl. He sees at and disturbs. By the way, the owl was fine. Brady's getting closer.

[Brady Bogan]

There he goes back to his burrow.

[John Holmberg]

No, he was in his burrow. He was enjoying.

[Brady Bogan]

There's the burrow.

[John Holmberg]

Whatever. He was enjoying life in the grass. He was sunning himself. You know what you were.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I bothered him.

[John Holmberg]

You know what you were a fat.

[Brady Bogan]

For you guys.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks. Right? And until your head falls off, that video will remain boring. You know what that is right there in the animal kingdom. You just became the weirdo at the public pool with a heart on. Everybody's in their seats going, oh, God, he's getting close to me. Run. Get underground. But until you die.

[Brady Bogan]

That was a burrowing owl. Not. Not a brown bear.

[John Holmberg]

Not interested.

[Brady Bogan]

Saw one of those the other day.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna cut your head off. Not interested. I have the videos ready for the documentary. Not interested. You walking through the park is a sad old man. Filming animals that don't want anything to do with you is boring until someone cuts your head off. You, sir, are guilty of. And you know what the headline would say? Retarded radio man. Because they'd watch the video. They'd be like, oh, they wouldn't use that word. Okay. Mentally disturbed jackass. You're right. They wouldn't call you a radio man. There's no way. They'd listen to that and be like, oh, he's a. Make a wish.

[Brady Bogan]

Just.

[John Holmberg]

Retarded man tries to attack owl has a head chopped off. Like, oh, oh, let's see the video of the owl now. And then you hear the mentally challenged down syndrome. Look at him in the. He's sitting in the grass as owls. Oh, he's going back to his home. I made him upset. My head. Yeah. No, nobody wants to see videos. I was. I saw my uncle for the first time in a while yesterday. He's popped on kind of out of the blue. Popped into town. So I hung out with him for a little bit. You know what we didn't do once? Break out our phones and show each other children. His lady friend asked me if I had dogs and then wanted to see a picture because she used to have a bulldog. So I showed her bus, and then I put it right back. If you ask, I'll show you. But people don't really mean it with kids. No. Dogs are more like. Dogs are funnier than your children. Your children most of the time. Here's what people think when they look at your picture of your kids. Wow, that's an ugly kid. Most of the time. That is like 90% of kids are ugly going the wrong direction. 90% of humanity is ugly. And also, does any look in my face make you think I want to see this? What the hell is wrong? And for those of you who don't know Brett can go dead face better than maybe anyone. I've been with Brett when somebody's killing him with a story that. And it's probably Brady, but it's a story that just is going nowhere. And Brett's eyes, I see his dead.

[Brady Bogan]

Face all the time.

[John Holmberg]

I bet you do. I bet his normal face. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Like I have seen.

[John Holmberg]

I have been with Brett when somebody's killing us with a story. And not only will you dead face in the middle, Brett will just go, oh my own. Then he'll just like your story will get punched by Brett. I have time for this. I can play pretend for a little bit and then talk about you later. Jesus Christ. That guy showed me one more pictures of goddamn ugly ass kids. Most of you have to realize that your children are hideous. Ugly little beast. Don't show us pictures of your kids. Or they're weird looking and we're gonna make fun of that later. Not my little Caden. I remember there was a lady who had like, she looked like she was from Narnia and she goes, my daughter. Blah blah, blah. I'm like, oh God. But I didn't do Brett's dead face. I didn't do a maron. And she breaks out her phone and her daughter is the hottest thing I've ever seen. And I'm like, but the story there was that you didn't. That's not your DNA. You're a surrogate, right? Most people break out pictures of their kids and they've got a bad haircut or they're just gross and nobody's interested. And your kids aren't funny unless your or their heads get lobbed off. Then suddenly I want to watch all the videos of your kids. I mean, Brady's Instagram feed is a perfect example of while you're alive, your videos of you doing stuff. Boring. Boring. That poor owl just sitting there. What are you doing, jackass? I'm just in the grass, sun and myself. I'm gonna approach him slowly and oddly. Ah, this prick. I wanted to stay out for a little bit, but I can't. Asshole. Look at that owl. Just looked at you from the burrow. I hope someone lobs his head off. Then I'll be Internet famous. It's true. That's why parents all moved to Gilbert together. It's because they realize that no one's. Everybody's dead. Facing them, they're like, what happened? They go to Gilbert and everybody's wide eyed and happy and it's like we don't know how to behave either. Here's photos of my children. Here's a bunch of pictures of Mike. My kids as good as your kid.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know very many guys that do it to other guys. It's just you don't do it all that often. Well, it's mostly the women that are.

[John Holmberg]

Get them together. Some guys do.

[Brady Bogan]

I would never.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, I don't hang out pussies like that. But you start breaking out photos of your kids, I'm like, you got nothing to talk about, do you? This guy says, I'm not even interested in my own kids videos. When my wife shows me. I've been there. I was there. I've seen it myself. Why do I need to relive this dude's got the greatest name of all time. That comes from Hoffmeister. Thank you, Hoffmeister. Yeah. If you're. If your wife. And you know who's to blame about this is the husband. When the wife. When she breaks that phone out, you say, hey, hey, hey, hey. We're in. We're in mixed company of people. Nobody wants to see our ugly ass kid. Put the phone down, buddy. She. She was dancing. Nobody. Nobody wants to see that unless she gets kidnapped. Now, if you broke the phone out and said, our daughter's been missing for two years, I'm gonna watch all sorts of dumb, boring videos of your dumbass, ugly daughter. I'm not looking for her. But I'll be like, this is tragic. We don't know what to do. And still Brett would go, I'm out of old videos of kids. It's true. Yeah. It's up to the husband to tell the wife. No, no, no, no, no, no. This. You're the least interesting person in the world right now. Oh, shut up, Roger. People love looking at our kids. No, you're lost. This is why we live in Gilbert. We're not allowed to hang out with normal people anymore. We're only allowed to the people who. I have children. Photo evidence. Me too. Photo evidence. Nobody needs to do that. I'd Tom Brady your phone if she started breaking out pictures and stuff. That's it. Done. Yeah. You want the new iPhone 16? Here you go. Cause I'm smashing this son of a. Again. Hang on to him. Just don't show them to anybody. And if anybody wants to get Brady 20 million views, you know what to do. We have to find part of him in one part of the city and another part in another part of the city to make any of his videos. Good. We're looking at you. Brady's murder has Brady's murder can't be just a gunshot to make his videos interesting. In order for you to get 7 to 10 million views, your story has to be like. You have to be drawn and quartered. We have to find bits and pieces of you all over the place. Because otherwise you're gonna get shot. And people watch some of your videos and go, good. But you have to have an interesting murder for your videos to be interactive. You and the praying mantis and the bee and the mother owl. Ugh. And that's not just Bash and Brady. Most of you have a boring Instagram page. God forbid you show anything you've eaten. Here's me chopping up some celery. Oh, but again, there's a good chance if that chopping up celery video gets 7 million views. Turns out your head got cut off by that same knife. Oh, here's pictures of eating. Eating. Oh, there you go. There's pictures of him eating. Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

Eric's family barbecue.

[John Holmberg]

Oh my. Oh, nobody could pot. Oh. Brady's the only one who ever ate anything, so we might as well.

[Brady Bogan]

That lasted a long time.

[John Holmberg]

Document that. Wow. A human that ate something.

[Brady Bogan]

We've got the mama over here.

[John Holmberg]

It's a bird. I'm cutting your head off.

[Brady Bogan]

You hear the golf teeth? And there are her eggs, right?

[John Holmberg]

Jesus, you're the worst videographer ever. You can't even find the damn egg.

[Brady Bogan]

Where are they?

[John Holmberg]

I betcha there they are. I bet you dummy with his phone even closes one eye when he's filming. I don't. Those are just a pile of rocks.

[Brady Bogan]

There's two speckled eggs right there.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even see eggs. And I either. He had to find her. Camouflage. You honestly thought that was worth look anything? What about this one?

[Brady Bogan]

Funny.

[John Holmberg]

Haha.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a design behind the video.

[John Holmberg]

What is it exactly? This we don't want. We were doing it for a while. If it's a. If it's to get a rise out of me, shouldn't I be a target to why I've never seen these videos.

[Brady Bogan]

That's why. Though he says the reason he's doing.

[John Holmberg]

It is so I get a rise out of it I've never seen. I know.

[Brady Bogan]

Slappy over here. We'll pick it up the next Sunday.

[John Holmberg]

Only when we're talking about how boring you are. He's proving it. No, it isn't. You are not making boring videos for three years later for us to make fun of.

[Brady Bogan]

Three years later.

[John Holmberg]

How old is that video of him with that egg?

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know, that's at least that. But that was the fun of it.

[John Holmberg]

Of what?

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, doing the video.

[John Holmberg]

So I would make fun of it someday.

[Brady Bogan]

That's funny.

[John Holmberg]

Why wouldn't you come in and go, hey, I made some videos you might be interested in. May 17th of 22 was the sloth. That thing is three years old and it's designed for me.

[Brady Bogan]

Not designed for the whole. The.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

The joke of it all, not for.

[John Holmberg]

You to be boring. Yes.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean the Valley.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks.

[Brady Bogan]

A spoof of Wild America.

[John Holmberg]

I get it.

[Brady Bogan]

But they're doing the voice of the guy.

[John Holmberg]

Is that what you're doing? Oh, Attenborough. That's Attenborough.

[Brady Bogan]

That's Brady Attenborough.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe I'll say that next.

[John Holmberg]

Sounded just like Brady.

[Brady Bogan]

Hello, my friends.

[John Holmberg]

What a. What the point made is and it's been cemented. Look, the point has been hammered down. Nobody wants to see and okay, I'll give you the Internet videos of two dogs doing it. Missionary is pretty good. If you're involved in that at all. If you're voicing it, if you're laughs and the adventures. I'm saying you're no different than anyone else. Nobody's videos themselves in them are good. If you're in it, it's automatically boring. Unless.

[Brady Bogan]

Which most of the time, Right, I'm not in it.

[John Holmberg]

Now these, I'll give you that. You do a panda eating a giant carrot, which I think is AI. I don't know what that is. Is that a squash?

[Brady Bogan]

You know, those are just.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, those. But you taking a bite of a burger, you know, Come on. If you're in it, it's a boring video. I guarantee it. And not just because of you, because nobody wants to watch.

[Brady Bogan]

The reason I'm doing. You know, that was just where you're at.

[John Holmberg]

There's some with you with a mask on.

[Brady Bogan]

If I could bring more people to Eric's family barbecue. That's okay. I just got my first vaccine.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, Brady. Jesus Christ. Cut his head off. This is for me.

[Brady Bogan]

Picture of choice. No, no, that was not okay. I'm just about five minutes after I got it in the arm. Everything feels fine. I can definitely feel where I got the shot.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Christ. Oh, my. Oh. Oh. And it's not just you go through anybody's Instagram page, every video is boring. Every single video people make is boring. Nobody wants to see that broken out at all. Oh, my God. But that's it. You lop your head off and suddenly Those all have 10 million views and some are sad. And some have it just adds meaning to meaningless things. But thanks for doing those for me. I really appreciate it. I'm glad I could pick up a couple of those four years later.

[Brady Bogan]

You gotta laugh and enjoy.

[John Holmberg]

I did it. That was disgusting. Yes. I didn't. I didn't get a laugh. I got a. Oh, God. Poor Brady. Poor, poor Brady.

[Brady Bogan]

Enjoyed the wildlife.

[John Holmberg]

No, I didn't. I thought it was boring. I thought all of it was boring.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, it's not for everyone.

[John Holmberg]

No, it isn't for. And that's my point. It's not for anyone.

[Brady Bogan]

It's not for you.

[John Holmberg]

It's not for anyone. Fred, back me up.

[Brady Bogan]

For most people.

[John Holmberg]

It is not for most people. There's a reason why you have 205 views. It's not for most people. Probably 180 of them are. Brett, look at. Brady's losing his mind. Should we take him to a doctor? I haven't seen those videos yet, but I'm glad that they're waiting for me at any given time. Yeah, they're ready. You're making my point for me. All people's videos of themselves doing stuff is boring unless something drastically crazy happens unexpectedly while you're doing. If you're taping an owl and walking through a park. I'm telling you right now, you're boring the world, period. No way. Yes. And the people you're attracting to it are boring. You've got a gaggle of people you wouldn't want to hang out with. What a video that was. Hey, Alice, come over here for a second. Here's a man. Close to an hour. Oh, no. Al's gone. Anyway, my day's made. Nobody wants to see that. No one wants to do that. Thank you, Brad, for taking me to Flavortown for a second. Here you go. Oh, he's got. Oh, here he is doing something else.

[Brady Bogan]

Wild America Easter gooselings. Or goslings. Look at those totes adorbs. This is exciting. Riveting. Happy Easter, everybody.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody cut his head off. That's all I'm saying. Please, Come on. Just make him. Give him the views he needs. He tried to in the middle of that one.

[Brady Bogan]

That is, dude, Perfect.

[John Holmberg]

While he was trying to tell us it's all in jest, tongue in cheek. In the middle of it, he said, it's not for everybody. A lot of people find him interesting. He still tried to backtrack and say, no, people love my videos. No one loves your video.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, no. There are at least 99 that, like.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody loves those little hearts. Right? Like that's because the retarded kids need a little pat on the head sometimes.

[Brady Bogan]

499.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, it's awful. Unless you die, let Gabby Petito be your guide. Her videos were horrible. This is the content that gets you banned. You need to be careful with the explicit stuff, boss. Yeah, yeah. Some of the comments.

[Brady Bogan]

Love the comment.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yep. Love the comments. Oh, this one. Suck it, John. This is a great video. Not everyone is addicted to porn like you are. I'm not. Yeah, but you know what I'm not doing. Yeah, exactly. You know what I'm not doing at dinner? Breaking out. Hey, this is what I just saw. Check out this little honey. She sure knows how to edge. You keep it to yourself. You keep your home videos and your stuff to yourself.

[Brady Bogan]

Usually it's like, wait until the boys see this one.

[John Holmberg]

No, keep it to yourself. Keep it to yourself. Any video with you. And not just you, Brady. Any video with you in it going, oh, here's me exploring. Unless you're finding a human head because you just became part of the documentary. Yes. Don't. Awful. This is awful. This is why being visually impaired is good at times. Sean Rockefeller, I know who you are. So happy you know. If only you were deaf, too. Helen Keller had it. Me? Helen Keller's the only one that might enjoy Brady's video. Yeah, me too. Helen.

[Brady Bogan]

Boss, KUPD for these riveting videos.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Nathan Sutherland wouldn't even bang these videos. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585 9, 800. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? Holmberg's morning sickness. You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. Radiate. What the hell is wrong? Thank you quite kindly. Miles to nowhere. Busy show today. We've got Dave Draymond's gonna join us a little bit and he's bringing along Disturb's new single, which I don't know if it's probably available on the Internet, but he's acting like he can bust it here, so it's pretty cool. We're gonna get Dave on the phone, talk to him. And Calando just text and said he wants to do the squares and I don't know why, so it's less for me to do today. Doesn't he have a show coming up? No, he already did it. It was the first of February. That's right. I don't know. Maybe he's got one. He does have The March show. Because they had to reschedule that. You're right. So he's. Ah, it's whoring. I thought it was a nice, friendly thing. Nope. That's what I was surprised by. All right, Sunday show. It's a Sunday show he's doing and he's whoring. Yes. I just go through my emails, you know, during the break, and I was kind of going through yesterday's stuff, and I get this one. These are fun. The hindsight videos are fun. It says, hey, John, I feel sorry for those dance damn syrup sucking, commie albino eskimos coming to Boston tonight. They're gonna hear language they've never heard before. And when we boo their anthem, they'll know they'll need to leave. We're gonna bury those snowback Mexicans. Hard time in Southie? Well, no, sorry, Kingfire didn't quite work out that way.

[Brady Bogan]

He was fired up.

[John Holmberg]

People like the idea of, you know, putting a law each team gets to, like, if your city wins, like, the Super Bowl. The guy said, how about the Super Bowl? Like, we make it so each city gets to pass a law in the city of the team they beat for the Super Bowl. I'm like, that would be awesome. Because, like, Philadelphia Eagles are playing Kansas City today for the right to make incest legal in Kansas City. Which would be. You think about how, you know, subtle that would be. But then all of a sudden, all these people are starting to have inbred babies in Kansas City because it's legal and I've been to Kansas City. The only thing stopping them is the law. They would do it. And then in Philadelphia, you like ban soap for a year. Oh, make the game 10 times better. Another one from last night. If these Canadian pricks win, let's make it so we have to call ham Canadian bacon. And then if we win, they have to call Canadian bacon bacon. Get to get the Canadian part off. I like that. It's, like, punishable by law. Cranston, who I went to high school, says, I know why your dad didn't take any videos of you or there's none of you as a kid, because I don't think your dad wanted to document the transition. Screw you, Cranston. Cranston used to be my password to pretty much everything. The most unique name I could think of was Cranston munger. Throw a 69 or a 10 or an exclamation point at the end of Cranston Munger. And good luck guessing my password.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, there's only a one Cranston Munger.

[John Holmberg]

And then some wacky Indian figured it out and stole my Netflix. Really? Break into Netflix once your password's been compromised and I'm like, Cranston Monger 69, exclamation point. Somebody figured that out. Yeah, we have the address now in India. And I'm like, you, tip of the cap. That's. They even think the words Cranston and Munger are words. I have broken in with the word. I went through his entire senior yearbook and found Cranston Munger. That is a great. That is a great password. So after that, I changed it to the other most unique name at Dobson, Cornelius Troop with an e. That thing got solved in like an hour. I lost my Peacock account and my phone because Cornelius troop. 6, 9, exclamation point didn't fly. So then I drifted away from people in high school and now it's something completely different. How many things. Tell me times you think they tried to put in Christy Greenway in there? Well, that's too obvious. But yeah, DUA Holmberg also got solved fairly quickly. So, John, I'm super interested in that murder mystery you were talking about, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna search coon murders. Could you tell me the name said? All right, look, John, if. Just go to azfamily.com youm don't have to search anything like that. And it's Kuhn, you son of a bitch. This guy says as a full time NHL fan, this four nations tournament was the best thing that's happened to hockey in a long time. I really hope this helped gain a whole bunch of new hockey fans and showed people that this is the greatest league in the world and the greatest sport on the planet. My dream is that someday hockey is bigger than football. I'm really upset USA lost. It was a badass game. But I'm gonna be grateful that it happened. Bailey. I disagree with the fact that it. Cause I've seen it too often these. When the best in the world play each other and that and everybody's eyes are on it and you wrap the flag around it, it's going to get eyes. It's not the sport that one. Although you might get a couple new fans. Nobody's going to watch Utah and Dallas play because of this. Because it's. It's flat champagne. You're. It's such a step down from what we just watched. I don't like when you're watching the greatest of all games. The next game's going to suck. You know, it's like Michael Jackson opening for debars. It's just, it's not a thing. You can't do it. It's. You have to. That's why they do it in order. This was an epic, monumental one off. I don't think it's going to make the ratings for hockey sustainable long term. You might get a blip right off the bat. You might have the. If the Bruins play the Blackhawks on Saturday morning, you'll get some eyeballs going, oh, hockey was fun. And then you're going to watch and you go, oh, the intensity's missing. There's nothing on the line here. It's a regular season game. These teams are good, but. And then God forbid you get the cities no one cares about. Like Phoenix had that. If Phoenix was on national tv, it didn't matter. How great hockey can be, it's not happening. And hockey's handicapped by the fact that.

[Brady Bogan]

It'S just, you pulled everyone in. It's one you pulled in.

[John Holmberg]

It's a one off. It's an anomaly. You're the flag All Stars playing and we never see that all stars playing at 100%. You never. In baseball, basketball and football, you never see the greatest players in the game playing at their best level with each other. You'll see the best teams that year in the playoffs playing at high levels, but you'll never see the best assembly of the best players in the league. The All Stars playing to the death. Like, you just did it. And it makes this, it actually hurt the NHL if you ask me. They're going to get an immediate spike. It's going to be great. But in the end, they're going to be like, oh, it's not, it's, it's comparably, it's not even close. And hockey is a great sport. When the Stanley cup happens, there's not much better than that. Those dudes are playing for their lives. And every game, you know, it's two to one. These dudes are just playing their asses off. But in the regular season, I don't think, I think it actually hurts the NHL. Not it hurts them long term or it doesn't necessarily hurt them, but it doesn't help them. Well, you know, like you said, it's a nice spike for now, huge spike for now, but you'll take it. That's about, that's about it. It's like when a radio station gives away like $30,000. You know, people will start listening that normally wouldn't listen. Now you might get a couple. It's a little different because maybe they just didn't know about you. You. But then when you go back to your regular, we're not giving you money. Which is why so many radio stations go broke as they'll try to buy listeners and then they're just not very good.

[Brady Bogan]

Gotta have content, right?

[John Holmberg]

So if the Coyotes did a, you know, they represented the United States a bunch, and we'd flip out. And then they come back and play Coyote hockey, you'd be like, oh, playing the Blue Jackets or something. It's like, okay, great. Keep. Yeah, exactly. The Winnipeg jets and the Utah Hockey Club. You think the spike in the ratings are gonna. You think USA Canada is gonna make people put eyes on that? And especially. Cause it was like there was a lot of women. There was people like Doug Hopkins. And I texted last night, Doug said, I haven't watched a hockey game in years. I've watched two this week. You know, puck. Puck dropped to finish. And I'm like, yeah. Cause this is. This is the United States versus. And there's some. There's some backstory right now with Trump effing with Canada and Canada being a little bit mad at us. That helped. That's a ton. That helped a ton. Politics somehow helped this. But in the end, everybody's like, oh, it's great. You know, hockey's going to be bigger. I don't see it. I don't see it happening. I think a lot of people watch hockey. They realize that's a good game. I'll pay attention when the big games are on. And maybe it helps the Stanley cup finals because, man, sometimes that is just a. Just a bloodbath. Says, please don't listen or don't watch Brady's videos on the radio anymore. I'm getting ready to drive to work, and I think I'm gonna drive an oncoming traffic if you keep talking about him, David. Yeah, I know. There's another one right there. Tom follows that one up. Actually, it's. It's. The videos are not for anyone. Says, I've been contemplating suicide. Can I watch all of Brady's videos so I might realize I am interesting and the world doesn't consider me a big loser. Tyson. You know what? Maybe there is a purpose to Brady's videos after all. Saved a life, Brady. Your boring videos made a guy realize he's not the worst one. And it's not just Brady, it's all ya. It's a lot of it. And then you get into, oh, this guy says, I agree with what you said, John. About single people not wanting to hang out with couples with kids because couples with kids do what you said. But it goes both ways. After having kids, your hobbies, priorities and habits all get effed up and get shifted around. You can't go clubbing or to booby bars every weekend. It's no longer an option. Feels immature, like a waste of money. So I'm done hanging out with the likes of John, John and Brett. After my kids were born, nobody wants to get drunk, go out goofing around, seeing big cans in their face with some strange woman rubbing and wait a minute, who am I kidding? Take me with you, please. Save me. You're right, William. Life changes. And that's why you guys kind of hole up in little.

[Brady Bogan]

There's always those suburban clashes every now and then or the mix up where all sudden now it's the one couple that doesn't have kids and the other groups do. Or vice versa.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, we've been there. No, we've been there. And you realize that there's a mental break. And mostly with women, there's a mental break that they haven't had a night out with normal people for since they had kids. And then the last time is usually right around the end of college. So they revert back to that crazy nut bag that thinks getting alcohol is still hard. And they celebrate it like it's like prohibition, like, calm down, we're just having a couple of drinks. No, we don't do that anymore. We're not woohooing. Here's a picture of my kid. And then the kid calls and I go, Christ, then you gotta go. You gotta go to suburbia for 17 years. And we'll see you guys. When you trust your kid to drive.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm the exceptional a lot of times on it that I'm the one that has the kid. Most of the friends that I have are either empty nesters or.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, you're the older guy with.

[Brady Bogan]

The other way around. Hey, we're going out.

[John Holmberg]

No can do. This guy says, I laughed at your take on Gabby Petito. As I watched that now I think about it more and more. You're exactly right. You start a van life with this hot little blonde. About a week into the trip, she gets on her period, starts nagging the F out of the guy. She's crying, she's uncomfortable, she smells a little. She's a vegan. Oh, she was. Yeah. What an annoying little. So was he though.

[Brady Bogan]

I opened it, I started into it about 15 minutes and after years of not synopsis of the whole thing. Yeah, I'm not gonna finish.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you can. I mean, still worth watching, but.

[Brady Bogan]

But it. I mean, you knew the answer of what you were saying in that first 15 minutes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's more interesting. They just swung and missed on his parents. Yeah, it says she'd be annoying. And she keeps talking crap about his bald head. She brings up his smelly feet, which is true. In the middle of it, she starts talking about him not having his feet in the car anymore because they stink. Then he gets a little bored of banging her and tired of all the selfies and the videos and the editing. Next thing you know, she's on the rag again. Oh, not this again. Takes a page out of OJ's book mentally and starts thinking about ending this story. Not to mention. Which they kind of glossed over. She started to call and text her ex boyfriend. That is true. She started to kind of contact an ex about how the van life was going. And out of nowhere now, he probably got hold of her phone and they didn't talk about that. I thought that, too. Brian was possessive and jealous, and she started to text her ex boyfriend, and nobody said, do you think Brian might have grabbed her phone as a possessive weirdo that goes through her phone every once in a while and saw some of what was going on? And evidently they were Snapchatting, so he fires back and forth. How about that? He saw the text to her friend about how she was gonna end it with him, which there was that. Plus, she had a chance to get away when the cops pulled him over. And she stayed to fix him some of the pictures. She looks a little bit cute, but, you know, if you were on the road with her for 60 days, she becomes Taylor Swift real fast. That skateboard. He said when she's on that skateboard, there is a part where she's on the skateboard. He says her ass looks fat and juicy, though. All right, this guy's watching for you. Might have killed her, I think, you weirdo. But we do need. I agree. We need the Brian Laundrie documentary more than Gabby Petito. We need the one about him, because we'll never know if her texting the ex sent him. He's. Again, he's not normal. But she knew that. And then she started to text her ex. She starts going back and forth with him. You know, he's texting her. Is everything okay? I'm worried. I'm. And, you know, Brian had access to her phone after she was dead, so he had it when she was alive. Too. It's. It's crazy. Quick update. By the way, remember Vince, the guy who started 2020? I'll read that he sent. It's on the same thing so I can read. The old one says, boys, 2025, started with a bang, got married January 1st, got a brand new job on the 6th. This week we find out we're going to have a baby. Now, this week was. That was back January 15th, I think. We didn't plan, but evidently I knocked her up over Thanksgiving weekend and I've been on cloud nine. Yesterday my wife said she had something to tell me and she wanted to talk to me this weekend. She left the house and we haven't spoken since Tuesday. She asked me not to reach out. She wanted time. I'm spinning. What is it? My brain is locked. The baby has to be mine. There's no way. It's not. She's so happy. No way we can get divorced. Ever been through this? I can't imagine this. Well, he said, despite all my follow ups, here's what you need to know. Through fancy prenatal testing, I found out the baby's mine.

[Brady Bogan]

There we go.

[John Holmberg]

We were going back and forth. Then she laid it on me that she wants to be. She wanted the baby not to be mine because she still feels something for the old guy. So now she's leaving anyway, which means she was banging somebody else. Anyway, I'm stuck with her forever. And the dude who she loves has another girl pregnant right now, too. So I think the whole thing sucks. Just keeping you up to date Vince. Poor guy. Yeah. Yeah. So there's a little quick one there for you guys if you're interested in following the story of Vince. Hopefully it doesn't go the way of Gary, who's no longer with us.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, it.

[John Holmberg]

Or Matt. Als Matt who is with us and we're going to see him at you fest. Fingers crossed. Or Gabby Petito. Well, we know she's not going to be there.

[Brady Bogan]

That worked.

[John Holmberg]

No, no.

[Brady Bogan]

Kind of. For the Petito family. I mean, they broke up after six months. She was pregnant and they. They worked.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the potatoes.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

In the beginning, you do learn.

[Brady Bogan]

Parents worked it out. We're like, you know what? We know we're going separate ways, but we want to do a be good parents.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the petito dad knocked up the petito mom. And then. Yeah, they just had the baby and said, we're not. We're not a family. I'll. We'll be good friends who raise a baby together. You can try that. I guess. Watch the. Hopefully it has a better ending, but watch the. So what Brady's basically saying is, this kid is going to get his head cut off. I think that's what Brady's bringing up.

[Brady Bogan]

In that case, it did.

[John Holmberg]

You never know.

[Brady Bogan]

But it kind of worked out pretty good all the way up until she just decided to be the influencer.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I think she's nuts. I think she might just be bananas. And then another thing, we've been talking about this for a while and all the stuff that's come out here and there and all that. For the first time in the history of aviation, an entire airport in the world was shut down for what they don't know was flying over their airport. A UFO flew over an airport in Turkey. And they're like, it's not a drone. It's moving funny. Close the airspace. They shut the airport down. And the guy said, contact will happen before 2023. That was like this. This UFO stuff is going sliding under the radar. And like, officials from governments are like, we will have contact in the next two years. We're getting close. So they closed the incident. It was at 10 o'clock. A pilot spotted a UFO traveling near the Gaziantep airport in Gaziantep, and It was at 10,000ft. Pilots reported it. They said, get away from that. Once you circle the airport once. We don't know what that is either. They radioed the control tower, prompted the air hub to ground all the flights for an hour while they tried to figure out what this thing was. It wasn't showing up on radar, which drones do. It wasn't showing up on anything. So they're like, maybe it was just somewhat some stealth thing flying around. And they're like.

[Brady Bogan]

But visibly they're seeing it, but it's not.

[John Holmberg]

The pilots were seeing it coming in. They're like, we don't know what that is. What is that floating over the airport? And they're like, we don't see anything.

[Brady Bogan]

Picked up on the right.

[John Holmberg]

We got nothing. What are you seeing? It's like, I don't. We're at 10,000ft. We had to dodge it because that's where you're coming in. You're like, I gotta look. There's something flying around out there. What are you doing? And so the. They did say that the UFO could likely be a drone that was being piloted without permission, but it wasn't moving like one. So afterwards, the guy's like, do you think it was ufo? Go, well, it's unidentified. It doesn't mean it's not human. It's just not identified. But it was really big and it was moving funny. And we closed the airport and we've never done that. We've done it for when we know somebody's flying around, but we didn't know this. And normally, I guess, they can scramble a drone, knock it down, like, and just basically put something on it, but nothing. And. And then at the end, the guy's like, look, we're. We're a year and a half away from having contact. Huh? What? They're coming. 2027's my guess. Somewhere in that time. Enjoy. America's 250th birthday. And then it's pretty much that. Katie, bar the door. The aliens are on the way. I don't know. Why would they land in Turkey? I mean, they take a wrong. I mean, it's Turkey, for Christ's sake. Come on.

[Brady Bogan]

And what are the odds?

[John Holmberg]

America. Fairly bougie attitude. Yeah. Dubai, maybe. They're nice, but maybe they've done no. And Brett, in the past, the people that gave them directions to our nation would send them back to Turkey. That's where they were in the beginning. They were in that area. They were down there in Egypt and Turkey and, you know, you watch Close Encounters a few too many times. No, they go. They would go back. Like the map. The X on the spot says, we know we can land here. They're not sure.

[Brady Bogan]

The rest of the world hanging out there and they're. They're fighting in the ship or the. Is that Istanbul? Constantinople.

[John Holmberg]

They don't. I don't think they got the news. The guy's wife's in the passenger seat. I think he took a wrong turn politically. I always thought it should remain Constantinople.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep. It was an alien debate.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not landing there then. Well, then just hover. I guess we'll sit here all day. It's the Gabby Petito. Yeah, it is. Of space. Fine, bitch. We'll turn around. I'll leave you in Turkey. I will. Maybe he was looking for a place to dump space. Gabby. I gotta get rid of this bitch. No one will look for her in Turkey. Where are we going? You are driving too fast. Ah, Christ you. Blah, blah, blah with your bitching.

[Brady Bogan]

They have the same problems.

[John Holmberg]

I want to have more Marmax. No more marmax. We have 12 Marmax. Those are kids in space.

[Brady Bogan]

You took a wrong turn and all.

[John Holmberg]

You'Ll do is show images of the Marmax and bore everyone. Which is why we had to leave in the first place. Yeah, I don't know, it's. It's weird, though, that there's so many news stories that they just kind of subtly at the end say, oh, we're going to talk to him in about a year and a half. Like, that could have just been a guy. He could have fixed it. He could have just said, yeah, as a drone. We're pretty sure it was a drone. We're going to find the guy who did it. They can find somebody shooting lasers at planes. Remember the dude that called us and he went to jail for a little bit because I got in trouble. I was in the news. Like, for what? Well, I was firing a laser at a plane and. And cops caught me. I'm like, they found you. He's like, yeah, they can pinpoint that stuff. And I'm like, that's awesome. So if it's a drone, they'd find out. Why even bring up we're gonna have contact with aliens in a year and a half? Why even bring it up? Unless they're setting us up for inevitable contact? They're coming. I don't know. They never founder.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, another dude trying to go viral.

[John Holmberg]

But Casalander was. We all know what that was. That was a Mexican who lost control of his leaf. That's what I'm saying. They never found him, though. There's no radar on that. Holy. This leaf blower is powerful. Juicy. I'm a superhero. No, he just got out of control around LAX and he didn't go back up. Anyway. Anyway, it's. This guy says, I just had shoulder surgery Monday and I am backed up from pain pills. Do you think if I watch Brady's videos, it would loosen my bowels? Thanks for entertaining us here in South Carolina, Dean. I don't know if it loosens bowels or not. I know your body relaxes.

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe some of the food videos.

[John Holmberg]

Right before you die, your whole body usually evacuates. So if you watch enough of those videos, your body's going to want to shut down and die.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, we did call it the call.

[John Holmberg]

Map for the longest time. Oh.

[Brady Bogan]

It helps me.

[John Holmberg]

So true. I got a problem brewing. I got to talk about this. I feel a little Minority Report about it. So I had lunch with my uncle yesterday and drunkle Dennis, I call him, because Dennis and I used to get drunk. He's the youngest of my mom's side, and so Dennis and I are only like 10 years apart. Like, he was. My mom was, like, 13 when he was born, and then so she had me when she was 22. So Dennis and I aren't that far apart. So we. He'd come out here When I turned 21, Dennis was 30 and I was the most fun person he knew here because he didn't know anybody. So we got. But we drank a lot and Dennis was. He's a blast. So Dennis has run into recently had some medical issues and, you know, a few like, you know, same thing as you. We went into just basic thing and got a couple of unfavorable ultrasounds where there's some bumps and found a little tumor. Turned out to be one of the bad boys. They went to remove it and another doctor came in and said we got a few of them, like in spots. So he's going through a lot, he's doing well, he's healthy. So he's staying at my sister's coven house. And so I warned him. I said, look, she's not a doctor and she killed my Uncle Bob. Nobody talks about that in the family. My sister's also a murderer, second degree. I'm not going to go crazy like she planned it, but it was. It was a murder. Involuntary manslaughter. I'll call it at the best. If I were in the jury. Involuntary manslaughter. She's. She's going in and just to recap my And. And DVT is the like. Victor Wembanyama is the center for the Spurs. 7ft 7 inch, gigantic Superman, averaging 24 points, 11 boards a game. He's the second year. He's not even figured out the game yet. He's already starting to dominate. Found a blood clot in his shoulder and it's dvt it is a very serious and everybody out there, that's a serious one. You don't have to get your anus examined. You know, if your legs hurt, you sit down a lot and you've got a little weight problem, or you're super tall, you're susceptible to deep vein thrombosis. So my uncle was complaining on Christmas years ago, my Uncle Bob, that his thighs hurt. And my sister thinks she's a doctor, but she's not. She's just read a couple books about Chinese guys. That's true. And occasionally she has a pot that she rings the outside of and then hangs some cheap silk she bought at Marshalls with Chinese writing that probably says Coca Cola, but she says it says Health Masters, Tumeric something. I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

And the hone. The healing tones. Is that what.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what the hell she's doing. It's all crazy witchcraft nonsense. Cookie Stuff. So Uncle Bob tells me his legs hurt. And I had just seen a special at the time about an NBC News reporter that was sitting in helicopters all day, eight, nine hours at a time, and his legs started to ache and is talking to his wife. And he said, my legs hurt so bad. It's just all this. I'm just. I'm not in great shape, and I'm not in bad shape, but my legs hurt. I'm sitting down. And these really uncomfortable, weird situations. I just don't feel. His DVT breaks. Clots break. You drown in your own blood. So my Uncle Bob's complaining about that. I tell him, like, I just saw a special about that. You sit down all day at work and you just get up. Like, be careful. But, like, you got to go get that checked. And then start moving around, get your blood flow going. I'm not a doctor. I'm not telling you what to do. But I just watched a special. Go ask about dvt. It's. Evidently not a lot of men don't know about this, and it's. It's big time in men. So my fake not Chinese Eastern medicine sister says, I can fix that. I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. She went to, like, Wind Chime University for five months. She's not a doctor. She's a massage therapist. That's. Let's not go crazy. And then she. Her intuition that she knows. So she rubs Bob's calves, which is the worst thing you can do to, you know, blood clots. This isn't Thanksgiving. I believe it was December 7th. Bob blew up. He died. She loosened up those clocks and killed him. Like he wasn't. Didn't have a chance to go to the world. This was one of those late Thanksgivings. It was like the 29th. It was like a week later, I get a call, says, uncle Bob died. Well, you killed him because she called him like I did not. I told you not to rub his clots. So here's my Uncle Dennis, who's in town. Now, keep in mind, also, my sister's husband has shrunk, like, 7 inches since they've known each other. That's the truth. I don't know what she's doing, but she's shrinking them. I don't know what kind of witchcraft is going on over there. Better watch what you're saying about her. She may. That's why I don't go over there. That's why we don't. I'm not hanging around over there. So she gets out this Chinese light. And she tried this on me years ago with my back. And the doctor that did my back surgery said, have you been heating this? I'm like, yeah, there's this Chinese healing light. He goes, oh, Jesus Christ. He goes, this is. You need surgery right now. There's no turning this around. Like, why? He goes, well, that light swelled up your discs in your back, and they're not like, you know, muscle. They swell and they don't retreat. It's. It's a gelatin kind of thing that's in there. The heat's the word. And he said, who did this? And I said, well, she put me in touch with this chiropractor who told me to buy this Chinese light, a healing light, and I'm looking for anything. And he goes, that's the worst thing you could have done is put heat on this. I'm like, oh, okay. Told her that. She goes, your doctor's crazy. I'm like, what am I doing? I'm listening to Wind Chime University's number 10 graduate, and the doctor who's the number one doctor for the military for backs, is telling me that it's. I'm listening to this guy. So evidently, my uncle, who's got some cancer, she's throwing that Chinese light on him. And I warned him yesterday. I'm like, she's killed uncles before, and she's gonna kill again. So I don't know if I should call the police now or if I have to wait for my witchcraft sister to kill another uncle. And this one I think the world of. I can't imagine this. It can't happen. And he's just laughing.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll film it.

[John Holmberg]

Uncle Dennis. He'll. Let him make his Instagram better. Uncle Dennis is laughing. I'm like, I'm not kidding, man. This is. Stop listening to her. Take it with a grain of salt, but don't get under any Chinese lights. You know what else is a Chinese light? Everything they sell at TJ Maxx. If it's got a light bulb in it, it says Made in China. It's the same exact thing. Chinese healing lights. If Chinese healing lights work, why is there cancer in China?

[Brady Bogan]

Why put that light on there and then top it off with some lead paint, right?

[John Holmberg]

Why don't you just drink the lead paint and then read the Coca Cola Chinese thing? So I got. I was worried about him. He's leaving town, and I got to get to him before he goes. I gotta say. I gotta hug him goodbye. Because he's allowing this witch doctor over there to Dr. Holmberg over there. No, no, no. No doctor. There's a shaman of some sort. Or, like, you know, when you go to, like, the tribe says, he's our medicine man. There's no, like, no training here. You can't go to a trade school and come out with, you know, read a couple books a Chinese man wrote. I'm worried about my uncle because she's over there just pouring tumeric down. Oh, and then here's a crime. Evidently, they bought a pizza because he was starving. He got a pizza, and they didn't eat the whole pizza. They put the box in the fridge, and my sister threw it away. It's filled with pesticides and things we don't need, and it's gonna contaminate my refrigerator. He's like, I wanted to kill her. I'm like, you know what? It wouldn't have been a bad idea. Cause it's either her or you. You gotta get on this. So Uncle Dennis, when I was a kid, was known as Den. Den. Now Drunkle Dennis.

[Brady Bogan]

So there's Roundup and pizza. I didn't know that.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? We're fine. You're gonna make it. Let Brady be your guide. He's never once sat under a cheap hot lamp. It's the same thing you make Chicken Stance on at Rawhide, only it's turned over and it's on top. It's a heat lamp. Yeah, you can keep your fries or chicken fingers warm under this Chinese heat lamp. I think that's what it was for. And then lunatics who went to three months of massage school started to believe that they are touched by some Chinese God and that these lamps suddenly have healing powers. They're not red light. They're not, like, scientifically proven to have some beneficial. It's just a lamp with coils in it that gets so ungodly hot. And I said, your tumors are gonna swell up and then start growing. I love you, Dennis. I don't need your tumors to grow. Cause Chinese lamps use it to heat.

[Brady Bogan]

Your patio in the winter and watch tv.

[John Holmberg]

That is exactly what it is. It's like a big Pixar lamp.

[Brady Bogan]

I forget what they call it. Not the radiant heat.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

They're great.

[John Holmberg]

It's a. This thing isn't. This is not the one that, like, is safe. It's.

[Brady Bogan]

It's like it's concentrated, right?

[John Holmberg]

It's coils. Yeah, it's the Pixar lamp with fire in it. And then she. Her and this idiot that tried to Kill me once with that dumb lamp, and he was jumping on my back. You need to crack it. And he's jumping on my back. This is what they do in Asia. And I'm like, you're 300 pounds. There's no such guy in Asia like you. But there I was, trying to get answers, and she tried to kill me, too. But I escaped. I escaped my captor and my poor uncle's over there under some heat lamp that raising canes wouldn't use because it would burn the chicken. And I'm worried about him. So I'm thinking maybe we should get a wellness check over at that house. Should send Ben over there. You know what? You know what, Detective Ben? I need you to roll over real quick and just knock on the door. Yeah, I'm getting some complaints about the heat in this house, and people can smell some tumors. Cook. Oh, I was so worried about him. You know, he's laughing. He's like, ah, it's harmless. And I'm like, I don't know. I wouldn't go messing around with these home remedies from that lunatic. And that's. Every family's got a nut bag. Every family's got somebody who's, you know, thinks that they know about Eastern medicine. Every family's got someone who's been to Europe once and then starts saying things like, they're European. Why can't we just be happy to be American and have Western medicine and, like, load ourselves full of pills and stuff? It's worked for a while. I mean, cancer, you can try whatever you want, but he's not terminal. It's not like he's like, he's okay. The medicine's working. I just can't imagine his heat lamps are any good. So if you meet her and she says, I've got this fire lamp, that it's gonna kill you. She's trying to kill people. People. And she's shrinking a man. I'm watching a man shrink. I've never. Have you seen John for a while? Her husband?

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

He's six inches shorter than he used to be.

[Brady Bogan]

Is that right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because the health house that they live in, he got real sick for a while, and then whatever he had.

[Brady Bogan]

You see him from a distance or.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. I stood right next to him, and I was looking down. I'm like, he used to be the same size as me. She shrunk him. He got sick living with her, and he shrunk. Now, if I was him, I'd try to disappear, too, any way possible. So Maybe he's just trying to.

[Brady Bogan]

She just maybe removed his spine.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, some of it is gone. Yeah. I don't know why. I think his spine just fell out. He's trying to kill him. If you've got a crazy family member, by all means, start calling them crazy. It's too important. You could lose an uncle. I've lost. I've lost one and maybe two. She kills again. She kills uncles. She's an Uncle Killer. She is an uncle sad, but that's what I live with every day. And Dennis was like, please don't. Don't tell anybody about this. And I'm like, she's trying to kill you. I want it out there now. Now. This makes the documentary better. When that. It's out there. Yeah. When the Uncle Killer strikes again, and the doctors are like, who cooked your. Who cooked your cancer? So to a crisp. It's like the way a woman eats a steak. It's. It's blackened like a hockey puck. She was sitting under a Chinese healing lamp. Oh, Christ, it's the Uncle Killer. Does she have an Instagram page? I don't think it'll get that much better. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. You should tell my uncle to start an Instagram page, because all the videos would be good. But this. This little segment here will be in the documentary again when Keith Morrison says, but one person knew what was going on at the Uncle Killer's house. And he wasn't holding back at all, was he?

[Brady Bogan]

When he died, he was 3 foot, 6 inches.

[John Holmberg]

He knew his uncle was being shrunk by the Chinese lamps, just like her husband, and yet nobody said a thing. They all thought it was adorable. Except one man. He tried to put a stop to it. Or did he? I just tell people, you're an adult, you do what you want, but she's killed uncles before, and she's not above doing anything. If I was an uncle and I was in that house, I certainly wouldn't be sticking around. That's where uncles go to die. So I love you, Uncle Dennis, but got to get you out of there. I know you're listening. For God's sakes, run to the light, but not the hot one. It's 7:30. What do you got on the big board of musical treats there, Bert? All right. Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And tomorrow is the day. Oh, yeah, we're going out there tomorrow. Forgot about that. Big grand opening at location number two over there on Power Road and McDowell. Lots of stuff going on. Check out all the new Pivot bicycles there, you can take them for test rides. Everything else that Josh and the boys are going to be giving away a brand new bike. And we'll be hanging out there hooking you guys up with you Fest tickets. Everything else again. Power and McDowell will be hanging out there from 11 to 1 tomorrow for Action Ride shot number two's grand opening on the list. Before you get to the list, by the way, Devin Hodgkick says, hey, it's my birthday. Can you play Parkway Drive this morning? The Void. Ever since y'all played it for a wake up song, I have loved it. And it's my birthday. So he's throwing that on the list. All right. Probably. I'm good with that. Probably not. We'll see what's on the list. Maybe. Maybe you got a last one. What about Aldo Nova for Canada? Yeah, Nickelback, obviously. Slayer? Hell yeah. Blood for Blood for Hockey. Wait, they have a song called For Canada? No, no. Yeah, I wrote the wrong thing. The only. He's only got one song. That fantasy song. Which one is that? Do you have it? Oh, is that. Oh, you remember that Life is just a fantasy as I'll Donova. Yeah, I do remember that.

[Brady Bogan]

Starts off with a helicopter.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. There it is. Let me see. Were you doing a helicopter noise there? Are you okay?

[Brady Bogan]

Little copter?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. How's little copter sound? Here it comes. He just started doing it. Brady got lost in the music video for a second. We almost. We almost lost you. Oh, yeah. It says, I forgot about helicopter. That's the big one. There you go. Brady. Is that a helicopter is just the sound effect? I guess it's helicopter in the video.

[Brady Bogan]

They show it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, is it? You remember the song? I don't remember the video at all. They're Canadian. Yeah, they wanted to pull up the video. I mean, I thought they were just gay. Is that the same thing?

[Brady Bogan]

Aldo Nova Scotia?

[John Holmberg]

Ah, no. I don't know. I don't either. Are any of these guys dead? This would be a fun one for the night of the singing Dead. He's still alive. I don't know about the rest of the band night. This makes me feel right. Yeah, I didn't know. I didn't know Canadian and gay were the same thing. But I don't think we're allowed to say that after they kicked our ass last night. So right now Parkway Drive is looking pretty good. Yeah, so far. Let's see here. What else we got on the list?

[Brady Bogan]

You didn't go Rush?

[John Holmberg]

Well, Rush is on there. Tom Sawyer's on there, obviously. All right, that's for them. We got to do that. Oh, lover boy. I forgot about that. We don't need that. Rush is the way. It's either that or Bob and Doug McKenzie. Those are the only two things for. Nickelback's on there, too. And Nickelback to the ground. Damn it. Do we go with Tom Sawyer or Nickelback? Burn it to the ground's pretty good. All right. You know what? No Eldonova. Huh? All right. Not really. Deep cut. There's no Alanis Morris set. Shocking. No. Kind of happy about the. No Bare Naked Ladies, which is fantastic. I would like. I'd like the Barenaked Ladies to hang out under that hot lamp at my sister's house and get rid of the regular snow. The informer. Informer. You know, this was the. This is the video. Yeah. I gotta get rid of the. I gotta get rid of this one. Thank God. All right. Yeah, we'll do that one. We can do a little. We'll do some San Quentin. How about that? Burn it to the ground's pretty good, though. Was that the one you helicopter? Oh, that's the chopper. And a very surprised Aldo Nova standing on a helicopter landing pad acting shocked to see a helicopter. So they are Canadian. They're dumb. No. He's getting out of the helicopter. Look at him. Look at this suit. Oh, look at that. They are gay. He's dressed as a Canadian leopard. Oh, not even. Gets worse. He gets gayer. Oh, yeah. Wait. Wait till he can't get in the door. The only way to get gayer is to have come in your door. Watch this. Oh, he shoots his guitar. His guitar is a laser. Yeah. I can't believe we lost to these guys. And his leopard onesie. It's a leopard like pajama. It's kind of sexy. If it was a woman. You know what it is? He's wearing those onesies now. He should get one of these. It's the same outfit that Shania Twain wore. And feels like a woman. It's the same outfit.

[Brady Bogan]

It's Triumph. Canada.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. They are, too. We're done with that. We're just gonna do it. We're going with San Quentin. Nickelback. Nickelback for Canada. Congratulations. Tip the cap. Canada wins. I voted for Aldo. This is a solid one. I don't want any more aldo Nova. It's 98K. Wake him up. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny?

[Brady Bogan]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[John Holmberg]

What the Hell is wrong with you? Just about that time for Brady to give you the news. Before that, I got a couple of some house cleaning here. The emails are rolling in. This we're getting. Keeping me busy says Dear John. I got to get help here. I had my height measured. I was donating plasma and he told me I'm shorter than I used to be. I was always 6ft 1 inches and 3 quarters. So I always said 6:2. The measurement, I was 6:1.25. I've lost a full half inch. It's just gone. How am I supposed to live with myself? I'm only 30 now. That is disappointing. That is scary. Being 30 and losing a half an inch. That's too early.

[Brady Bogan]

That's early shrinkage.

[John Holmberg]

That's too soon. But I will. I'm gonna put two things on this one, Jared. First off, you're donating plasma. I'm assuming you're under a lot of financial pressure and that'll make you kind of tighten up a little bit. I'm a man who has always lived his life right at six feet. Even I will be under six feet someday. And that condition is terminal. And if it ever gets to like five, eight or five, nine, I will no longer be on this planet because no man should. Nope, sorry buddy. No man should ever have to live at that. It's not a human height, it's not a male height to live at. But I understand your pain. Being 30, losing a half an inch. Just think it's all gonna go downhill from here. You've still got an inch and a quarter of man sized height of six feet or more. Don't worry about it. It could have been a bad measurement. You're in a plasma office, so your body's probably tensed up a little bit. You might have lost a half inch. Just based on the idea that you're. You're sucked up. Go get a better job, stop selling plasma, relax a little. Maybe you'll stretch it back up to six, one and a half. It is scary though, slipping under six feet once. You've been there. I've been there. And it could be a bad measurement. I went and I got measured twice at 5, 11 and 3 quarters. Scared me to death. And then went back two more times and got to 6ft. I'm at 6ft out of shoes, by the way, not in shoes. I'm holding it six feet. I understand. It's a death sentence. Sentence. Or do your sister put a spell on you? And there's also that if you've been hanging out near my sister's hot shrinking clamps. Are you an uncle? She will kill you. And before we get on this one says, morning Juno's. Damn it says, I've been a massage therapist for 10 years. And I can definitely say that massage should not be relied on. Just energy work. Never believed in the lasers. And good therapists rely on both Eastern and Western massage techniques or beliefs. Your sister sounds like a nut job. And there is a reason I have a different job now. His name is Chancellor. That's why he doesn't call me Chancellor. He calls me Juno's. Why don't you send Thriller over to your sister's house and see if that Chinese light can cure him? Worst case scenario, get a new host of the Squares. I don't want her to kill Thriller. We're just now getting to know Thriller. Can't kill Thriller right away. Kid's hilarious. I mean, I don't even think of Michael anymore. That's Corey's song there. You come tumbling out of your mom way too early. And you got a limp for the rest of your life. You look like one of the zombies from the video. And I get to meet you. And Brett gets to put Thriller's theme song on you. I don't want to cure that. Want that to live forever. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news. Only Brady knows we call this the Brady Report. And then we say Brady Report it.

[Brady Bogan]

Good Friday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[John Holmberg]

We've made it. Hi.

[Brady Bogan]

Happy National Sticky Bun Day. And Happy Language Day.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, I have that.

[Brady Bogan]

It's the International Mother language day. Over 7,000 languages are spoken around the world. What do you think number one is?

[John Holmberg]

Language?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Italian. No, it's probably Chinese.

[Brady Bogan]

Chinese.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay. Sorry about that. Yeah, a lot of Chinese people learning on Spanish, malone.

[Brady Bogan]

Spanish is second. 486 million.

[John Holmberg]

I thought that would have been number one.

[Brady Bogan]

Actually, English is third. 380 million. Arabic fourth. That's the top ten for native speakers. But if you look at total worldwide, the results are different.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute. What?

[Brady Bogan]

The speaking most popular language spoken just based upon popular population of China has.

[John Holmberg]

Got the most people speaking.

[Brady Bogan]

But the other countries, there's more people that speak know how to speak English around the world than any other.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, so English is number one. Chinese is not correct. Boy, it would help if somebody spoke the language. So you're saying that the number one language spoken in the world is Chinese? Unless you count all the people that talk English.

[Brady Bogan]

That's the number. Chinese is the number one language spoken for the native speakers.

[John Holmberg]

Native of China.

[Brady Bogan]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

So Chinese is the number one language.

[Brady Bogan]

In China worldwide, Right. The results are different.

[John Holmberg]

God damn it. All I'm asking you is if more people speak what language in the world? It's English. English is the most spoken language in the worldwide. English. How about that? That's all I want.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. It's 1.5 billion that can speak English, whereas Chinese, 1.3 native.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Chinese people speak Chinese. They couldn't go. They could have 200,000 more people. So in China. There's probably 202 billion people in China.

[Brady Bogan]

That I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just throwing it out there. Help me out. We're not going to sit in semantics.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Two billion, probably most of them speak Chinese, right? Yes. So that would probably be a number. Around 2 billion. The world. 7 billion. Let's say 2.2 billion speak English at some point or another.

[Brady Bogan]

Saying 1.5.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not going by your number. I'm just throwing out a number just to get. Make it easy for everybody. It's already too late. My head hurts. China has the most people, so they speak Chinese the most.

[Brady Bogan]

Brett's face has already dropped.

[John Holmberg]

The world speaks multiple languages. Don't mistake it. Brett loves it. But more people in the world speak English. That's the most prominent language in the world. China isn't. But there's a lot of people in China and they speak Chinese, so that's big. I bet you India's on that list. John, may I offer a phrase that will help? India has 30 languages. Languages. Can we say primary language versus secondary language? Thank you. Yes. Okay. That can't be how that was written. Unless it was a guy who speaks English as a second language. That got super confusing. Oh, Pop Pop has it wrong again, boys. What is it? There is no Chinese language. That's true. Speak Mandarin or Cantonese. That's true. They have two, right?

[Brady Bogan]

Well, they have.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Correct. With the study.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay. So 900 million speak Mandarin.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

And when you break it down, I mean, there's 7,164 languages. I mean, there's. No, there's not.

[John Holmberg]

But, man, India, there's are different. Like.

[Brady Bogan]

But would that be considered Chinese language?

[John Holmberg]

Correct. No. I'm going to take a lap myself. I can't handle this.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

From China. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know if it's Chinese, though, because India. There's Hindu. There's.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

But you don't say Indian language. It's an Indian language.

[John Holmberg]

The study was basically just saying Chinese was why they did the study. Like how many people speak one versus the other. So it says from. Just. From places where the official language is spoken, how many people speak it? And still China one. With 900 million speaking Mandarin. But just saying Chinese lumps.

[Brady Bogan]

400 million speak the Cantonese, right?

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's the assumption, but they could also. There's dialects, right? Then Spanish is two. English is third. That's for native speakers only. Tommy would like to know what language Brady is speaking. No one knows. That's why I'm trying to straighten that out. I don't even know what londa is. That's an Indian. Pakistan. But India and Pakistan have like, 20 different languages. They got tons of them. Bengali and all that. Hindi. But then those are dialects, though, right? Well, those are actual languages. They're not. They're not. They're not even like a. Some of those things in India don't even sound like other Indian languages.

[Brady Bogan]

Hundreds of millions will speak this one.

[John Holmberg]

But 1.5 billion people on the planet can speak English in some form or another. Communicate in English. Doesn't mean it's their native language. And Chinese is not a language.

[Brady Bogan]

A couple of baseless fun facts.

[John Holmberg]

We hit that.

[Brady Bogan]

The Murder Accountability Project tracks homicide data nationwide. And they've said that nearly 300,000 people have died in unsolved homicide since 1980. That averages out to 6,666 people per year.

[John Holmberg]

And John's watched a show on every one of them. Oh, yeah, I've seen pretty much everything.

[Brady Bogan]

Fancy ketchup is an actual USDA grade. It's the highest grade. Ketchups are rated on color, consistency, defects and flavor. There's a B and C. And fancy.

[John Holmberg]

What do they call it?

[Brady Bogan]

Standard.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. And what's the second one?

[Brady Bogan]

Extra standard.

[John Holmberg]

That's so a certain amount of defects are allowed to do. Extra standard. The standard is the standard. Nope. Standard. A little more standard. Well, then you just raise the ceiling. This is the standard. This is the line we go to.

[Brady Bogan]

That's fantastic.

[John Holmberg]

Do a little extra standard.

[Brady Bogan]

You got fancy.

[John Holmberg]

It's like 103%. It's not a real thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Buzz Aldrin's mother's maiden name was Moon.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. So it was in the stars. Really? No. It's a beautiful thing. That was a beautiful moment. It's real. That wasn't a joke. That's real. It was real. Brett, don't do that.

[Brady Bogan]

Hewlett Packard just added a minimum 15 minute wait time for everyone dialing into their call center. It just started yesterday. Although only in Europe for right now. And they're admitting that the purpose is to encourage people to use their online resources to solve their own problems. They're targeting the people who are clogging their phone lines with issues that can be easily handled online.

[John Holmberg]

Use chat GPT.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, but the other people that are calling there, like, it's a little more complex now, have to wait at 15 minutes before they can even get hold of anyone. We'll see if that continues here in the US if they will open that up.

[John Holmberg]

Everything's about to go crazy. Everything's gonna change soon. AI chatgpt. Everything that you used to do that took. It's all gonna be goofy. And if it's anything like our streaming services, it's all gonna be backwards to technology. It's gonna be clumsier and harder to use than it used to be. And they're going to call that forward thinking again. Bill Marges did a thing on it. We've been talking about it here for years. I never understood, like, who was saying, God, I hate keys. I sure would like to. It's just another thing that breaks in your head. A push button. So we weren't that lazy that you still have to do the exact same thing. And then he's, you know, he was going on about valet parking. I used to just give a guy a ticket and he'd go get my car. Now I have to go in an app. I have to download the app. I have to tell him I'm ready. They gotta go get my car. And he's like five feet from me, and I can see my own goddamn car. Car. And I got to give him 10 bucks. Hey, Chief, give me the key. I'll go get myself. You should just be here you go. And then you move on. It's reverse technology. Like everything that's supposed to advance us is clumsier because we use technology. It doesn't mean it's better. I'm that way with menus and restaurants. Oh, here's the QR code. We don't have paper menu. You son of a. Gotta download our app. My, you just snowed me and I've seen you. Now you got to use a flashlight. Oh, yeah. Well, everybody does now. I've noticed that that's kind of a common thing. Thing is it? It's young and I just admit it now. Just like I'm the old guy. Don't care. I. I was okay with it the other day. I looked over and there's like a table, people in their late 20s and they all had flashlights on the Menu. I'm like, it's not just me. Good. There's a lot of something going on with menus that made it so we can't see them. It's like they're an invisible ink or something. So you put a light on them.

[Brady Bogan]

The hardware company Stanley, Black and Decker is suing the maker of Stanley Drinkware over the use of its name.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute. They're not the same.

[Brady Bogan]

I thought they were the same way. The reason why it's happening a year after Stanley tumblers were all the rage, because apparently it went too far and gave Stanley a bad name. The lawsuit filed this week, Stanley, Black and Decker, says the makers of Stanley Drinkware violated an agreement from 2012 about when and how it could use the name. When millions of the mugs were recalled last year, the use of the name Stanley made it seem like the defective products came from the Stanley, Black and Decker.

[John Holmberg]

Toledo thought.

[Brady Bogan]

It's unclear how much they're speed seeking in damages.

[John Holmberg]

The logo looks the same. You're. Yeah, I didn't. That's weird.

[Brady Bogan]

And now it's time for some science, Moose.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Hello, my friends.

[Brady Bogan]

Professor Brady Bogan here with your science news mentioned it earlier this week. We had some mummy news, but the question was answered. What does a 5,000-year-old mummy smell like?

[John Holmberg]

Sandalwood.

[Brady Bogan]

Study found it smell pretty good. You're right. There's a woody, spicy and sweet smell.

[John Holmberg]

It's like walking into a pier.

[Brady Bogan]

One held up all those years that they used to.

[John Holmberg]

Or maybe just after a couple thousand years, the decomposition starts to smell sweet when they anoint them with all that oil. Yeah. Who knows? Maybe it just takes a long time for them to smell Good.

[Brady Bogan]

In AirPod news, noise canceling headphones could affect your hearing if you use them too much. But they don't actually damage your ears. You just get so used to the background noise your brain can't possess it, process it. So in other words, it gets harder to hear things like dialogue and movies when there's music behind it because you.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's interesting. And that's if you're using the buds and stuff. Yeah. Which I don't. The noise canceling part. Yeah, yeah, the noise canceling. Yeah. Okay, that's true. I have a set of headphones that has that and I don't like them. Makes me feel like I've got a cold. I like them on a plane. Plane. Yeah, on a plane. But that's about it. I won't wear them any other time. Just because that constant white Noise? Yeah, I don't. It makes me feel like I've got congestion. I don't like the way they sound. I don't like having my ears covered. That's why I love those meta glasses so much. As the speakers are in the ears and you hear, it's awesome. But you can still hear everything around you. Especially when I'm biking, riding around with those in my ears. I can still hear a guy flying, going, I'm coming on July. You hear people instead of those nut bags that walk around just blind to society, almost get run over 20 times a hike.

[Brady Bogan]

A study figured out why you can eat a huge meal and still have room for dessert.

[John Holmberg]

Just study you did.

[Brady Bogan]

Done it many times. The same neurons in our brain tell us we're full. Also release a hormone that makes us crave sugar and only sugar. Experts say it could lead to new weight loss drugs for people who can't.

[John Holmberg]

Resist sweets or refuse to resist sweet. You can resist sweets. It's not waterboarding. You just don't have to eat it.

[Brady Bogan]

That's your science news. Did you see Delta Airlines offered the passenger 76 passengers 30,000 each.

[John Holmberg]

That seems pretty good. People.3 million people are bitching about that.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Whether or not I don't know what happens if some agree and some don't.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it's look you made was scary. Sure. But you scare me and I'm walking out. Just if somebody told me in my car accident, hey, you're okay. You're physically fine. You're not injured. Here's 30 grand for your trouble. Like, okay, seems I don't have to buy a new car. I don't have to. Is it tax free? Probably not. That's probably a ding. But still 30 grand for scaring the hell out of me once. That seems reasonable. You think, what's your number?

[Brady Bogan]

Crash should be tax free.

[John Holmberg]

You'd think so. You think that Delta's like, this is we'll pay your taxes. But what's the number that people want though? Like, what is the price? That don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know if that, you know, it's being presented that way that maybe they've already.

[John Holmberg]

Like if you and I were driving around in a car and you flipped it over and scared the hell out of me and we walked away. Okay. And then you're like, here's 30 grand. Sorry about that. I'd be like, you know what? Thank you. That's nice. Yeah. I don't know why everybody's like this. I can't believe what is It. You. You nearly killed me and I only get 30 grand. All right, what's your price? You walked into my office to complain. I think everything's fine and straight up.

[Brady Bogan]

If they said, we'll give you 30 grand in flight credits, how about this?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, that's what my buddy Billy didn't get. Get anywhere near that. And they gave him. All they gave him was a free flight to Pittsburgh the day after his plane crashed. What? Yeah. Oh, I'd be ended up getting like 50 grand through lawsuits. And people died on that one. Yeah, I'd be pissed about that one. But at first they're like, do you want a free ticket tomorrow? We're covering that. God damn. Right. The top of the plane. It was on, came off. Was it still in coach? You know what? That's the thing. I don't know. I don't know if they gave him first class or not. That's a good question. But he got. I think he got 50 grand. But this is 1990, so it's a pretty nice. And you know, he's 20 something, so he got a nice chunk of change, but, you know, they couldn't just hand it over. I don't know if maybe you give me five years of free flying. Just one ticket. Let's not go crazy. I'm not getting a family package. 30 grand, cash. And if you have any therapy things, we'll cover that because you're going to have some ptsd, some loud noises for a while. While you might have some night terrors.

[Brady Bogan]

Too, but maybe that initial, you know, 30 grand, that number is. That's factored in there.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, let's do fun. 30 grand. This is just free and clear. If you have bill us for your therapy, we'll cover that too. And then you get a couple years of flying for free. Just you, though. Just a one. One pass. Sure. I think you should get a. A pair. You should get a buddy pass. Get a buddy pass. I don't know about that. What would you take? Would you take free first class just for you or two in coach? Oh, first class for me. Yeah, that's right. She's on her own. I'm with you.

[Dave Draiman]

Have fun.

[John Holmberg]

And coach Matthias. Yeah, and I'm not giving this one up. Nope.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a private security service called Protector just hit the App Store this week. People are calling it Uber with guns. It's available right now in LA and New York. For a thousand dollars, you can have an armed guard pick you up and shuttle you around town. And an Escalade for five hours.

[John Holmberg]

I can do that if I just.

[Brady Bogan]

Get law enforcement or active duty.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady Bogan]

The app was announced last year, but there's a video showing what could have happened. Because the healthcare CEO, that's the reason why they're rolling this company out for other people that feel that way. They want that security, and that's just an opening package. There's an annual $129 annual fee. The prices start at a thousand. You can pay more to protect multiple people or have a motorcade with you up to three Escalades.

[John Holmberg]

What are you doing wrong that you need this service, that your company's not covering it? How bad a human being are? He's like, hey, I think people are trying to kill me. Do you guys want to cover that? No, do it yourself.

[Brady Bogan]

Or you just want to have it all right.

[John Holmberg]

Expenses. It's neat. Once. Yeah, I don't think I want the armed courier every time. Drive around with Brett and his Ford. He'll get you A to B with it and get an armed guy. And the tactical black guys, they'll get you out there. You'll be good. Just go to tactical black and teach yourself how to be a little bit. How much is it? What? They say there's a thousand bucks, you said?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. For five hours.

[John Holmberg]

Thousand bucks. That's not bad. You know what you should do is take that to prom or something. Something. Prom season's right around the corner instead.

[Brady Bogan]

Of getting out here. Yeah, if you're in LA and New York right now.

[John Holmberg]

But even still, Brett will do it. And I'll be. I'll be with them. I got a little training under my belt. Me and Brett will take care of you and your prom date. Well, that sounded bad. All right, Tut's getting the back of the Navigator. There you go. This is John. Delta's offering 30 grand because they know they're going to have to pay more if it goes to litigation. You're a Jew. You should know this. All right, first off, no.

[Brady Bogan]

But that offer was no strings attached, right?

[John Holmberg]

They can still sue. They're just like, look, 30 grand for your troubles. I thought it was a nice thing Delta did. Most people would wait for the litigation and try to.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

That was a nice thing to hear. Is 30,000 a nice number? Yes. You're all walking. Everybody's good. We did our job. By the way, the Delta, they didn't plan this. They weren't sitting back laughing. Give 30 grand to get it out. What a great video. They weren't happy with this. They lose, you lose everybody gets 30 grand. They're scared.

[Brady Bogan]

Signing anything like, you agree to the 30 grand of saying, I'm taking this now.

[John Holmberg]

You can always go back. There's always something. If it starts to look like it's negligence and everything else. If they make you sign something and say you can never, ever revisit them this, then don't take it. Yeah, but if they're just saying, here's free and clear, 30,000 bucks, you're like, cool. I will take that because I've got therapy immediately. I've got some stuff to worry about. You know.

[Brady Bogan]

I got a couple of. I got three quick radio videos. First one happened on Rodeo Drive. It's a double scooter hit.

[John Holmberg]

We're out here in Beverly Hills. Science science news still going, too. Yeah, it. So we're at Rodeo Drive, and there's dudes on motorcycles. Everybody's facing. Okay, okay. So we're. All right. Here we go. Oh, we're on this very nice section. Oh, two. Two of them go right into a. Right into Range Range Rover. Right into the side door of a Range Rover. Oh, man. Range Rover had the green light. Yeah. They were running a red light. And they go. They t boned a Range Rover on motorcycles. That's not. Guy in the Range Rover is not getting out. What's Franken doing? And then they're banging on that. Why are they banging on him? He's just running over their bike. Oh, well, he's got to get his car out of there, out of the.

[Brady Bogan]

Way when they filming something. Mini bikes.

[John Holmberg]

Every one of them has a GoPro. Yeah, every one of them. Everybody has cameras out. Nobody helps anyone anymore. There's dudes laying in the road, and somebody's filming it from 12ft away. That's what. I wouldn't even film it. I just leave. All right.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Check out this play.

[John Holmberg]

The lingerie football league is fantastic. Caldwell. Caldwell picking it up now and able to regain some of the yardage. Oh, man. But this hit is. She got that. Is it. That is targeting. That girl should be suspended for a game. A.J. johnson. A poor snap. I would watch this. You haven't seen this. This used to be on espn. Lingerie football is. There's some sexy girls in this, and then there's some really not so sexy girls in this. And they're in the same thongs. I mean, I would watch this over wnba. Oh, yeah. These girls are athletes. Caldwell picking it up now and able to regain some of the yard. They're strippers, basically, who play some football. And they're athletes. America. It's America. And some of them have amazing butts. And then they show the offensive line, and they're in the same uniform. And it's. It's called an offensive line for a different reason than lingerie football. Horrifying.

[Brady Bogan]

The last one I call a breakfast bro fight.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. A couple dudes first thing in the morning in their pajamas throwing blows out in the parking lot. Pretty good fight. Throwing some uppercuts. Ooh, a couple left. Oh, he's got him. Back he goes into the KFC window. Oh, he's out cold.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The final punch finished him. There's a pretty even fight up till then. The kid in the pink shirt surprisingly landed some big ones. He can take a punch, too. Two body blows. A right hook to the. Okay. Left hook sends him staggering into the ropes. Shouldn't have paid attention to your pants.

[Brady Bogan]

That's why you wear a belt or tie him up.

[John Holmberg]

He was. Yeah, he was dizzy, though. That left staggered him, and then the right closed him up. That's a good fight. And again, nobody tried to break that up. Couple dudes just filming it. That's all purpose. That's society.

[Brady Bogan]

That's what the goons did. That's how they decided to buy in lunch for breakfast.

[John Holmberg]

All right, Bert, let's start off with this. Oh, man. It's an old lady. Oh, God. What is that Old lady naked in the bathtub.

[Brady Bogan]

Is that an alien?

[John Holmberg]

She's hosing off her vagina. And it looks like those sea cucumbers. It looks like Billy Bass is coming out of her vagina. That thing's going to sing to me any second now. She's got a handheld water wand.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, my.

[John Holmberg]

He's hosing off the beast. And it's. It's. The sleeve is inside out, folks. That can't be real. It's real. It's anatomy. Me. I'm. I'm going to keep this on until she finishes. I tell you what. That she's clean about 30 seconds. You're good. Why is she wearing the babushka? Yeah, I don't know about that. Is this.

[Brady Bogan]

Didn't want to get water on her hair.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she can't get her hair wet. Got stuff to do.

[Brady Bogan]

She married that.

[John Holmberg]

She's got a ring on. Oh, my God. All right, next. That's the way it ends. I thought it would end with, like, a bang. All right, that one wasn't that good. That thing hung out from the beginning. It didn't even bubble out. It started that way. All right, here's the Sex contraption. I can't quite. Oh, God. It's a. Just. It's. It's butcher knifing off a guy's genitals. Oh, my God. That's gonna be a hell of a cleanup. Oh, that is a big OJ knife, too.

[Brady Bogan]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my Lord. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah, that's terrible. All right. She cut it all off. All right, we got it. It was on a cocktail fork. Yeah. Hello to the world. Hey. I never thought of, like, Carter. There was so little blood in that video. I could have used her help. I mean, I left a mess. Here's some. Just saying. Just part of town you don't want to be in in a country you don't want to be at.

[Brady Bogan]

Hanging off there.

[John Holmberg]

Is that something. It's just something in the video. Yeah, this is some stuff hanging down in Couple of. Maybe the person film little dudes in Laos or something fighting in front while the traffic goes by. And did he just. No. Okay. Just threw something on him. Two dudes fighting. One. Is that a. Oh. Just threw some gasoline on a guy and then lit him on fire.

[Brady Bogan]

That's how you break up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. You know what, though? He ran away, and he's fine. He did the exact opposite of what Dick Van Dyke taught us. And the fire went out. And then the person who lit him on fire is going to walk out into. Okay, traffic is stopped. He's still on fire. Oh, that dude's still burning up. That's a woman. Yeah. Yeah. So the one that they lit on fire ran off and went out. The one that did the lighting is. Got some invisible fire in. In her hair and body. Got her clothes off. Wow, man. Some countries are just ugly. That part of Thailand, if I lived there, I'd want to be lit on fire. Just looking at that video. And we're always looking for something new. Oh, no, we're not. And I think we found it with this one. All right, get ready, boys. Here we go. Go. All right, I will explain as we go. Let me just make this a little bigger here. Thank you. All right, there's two. There's a two. There's a butt on top of another butt. And in one of the butts is this gigantic. Just wait. Just wait. Oh, and. Oh, my God, there's gonna be a person pooping. Nope, that's an egg.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Son of a bitch. I don't know if I can even. I'm just gonna stand up and clap. Never seen anything like that in my life. I have never seen anything like that in my. Brett. Now I'm going to do my best to. To describe this to you. I can't. Okay, so here's the thing. I know how you can. Well, I got to see it again. That is un. Again, I just. This is remarkable. Wow. The. The planning and the thinking and the. And the engineering of this. This marvelous event. So one woman has her butt straight up in the air. Another woman has a gigantic sex toy in that butt. She takes the gigantic sex toy out of the butt. Another girl squats over the butt that just had the sex toy on it, and then poops out a smaller sex toy right into the other one. And then they start having sex with each other. That is impressive. That is. None of that was clumsy. I hope that was the first taste. And when she pooped up. Nice aim, too. I mean, look at that. Just. It's Perfect. That's a 10. And then they just. And then she just starts riding it. That is. That's the most remarkable thing I've ever.

[Brady Bogan]

Dude, that perfect.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it really is. It, dude. Perfect. You have nothing on these guys. And they're all pretty, which is remarkable. Normally it would take. I'm just gonna end there. Yeah, I can't top that one. No, that. I've never seen that in my life. We gotta hurry up. Kim Kongdon is here. Kim Kongdon. We'll get Kim in here next. It's where? Downtown up at Desert Ridge. Okay, there you go. I got that. That's coming up next. It's 98k, but I've never seen anything like what I just saw. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. Radiate. What the hell? What the hell is wrong with you? We got some. This has just gotten weirder and weirder, but Kim Congan's here. One from just. We. Just the thing we've never seen before. We're going to show you Kim Congan's at desert Ridge Improv. Desertridgeimprov.com It's tonight and tomorrow.

[Kim Congdon]

Hell yeah.

[John Holmberg]

How are you?

[Kim Congdon]

I'm great. How are you?

[John Holmberg]

We've been talking off there a little bit, and you've told us of your plans.

[Kim Congdon]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You have goals?

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. Well, in the car here, I was buying flowers for a funeral.

[John Holmberg]

Is that true?

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. My boyfriend's grandfather just passed away. No, it's okay. And this is. The point is he was like in his 90s. He lived an entire life. He had a whole family. And I Was like, that's so beautiful. And now I have a different plan.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Your plan is unique. Would you like to share it with the people?

[Kim Congdon]

Okay. I have a huge fear of death.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Kim Congdon]

And I really love my boyfriend and so I would love to die as late as possible. Like around 122.

[John Holmberg]

That's too long.

[Kim Congdon]

Surrounded by my loved ones and with my husband inside of me.

[John Holmberg]

So every. So how old is he? Older or younger than you?

[Kim Congdon]

Right now he's a year younger than me.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. But you plan on being with him. So he'll be 121.

[Kim Congdon]

He'll be 121.

[John Holmberg]

So he should still be able to get an erection.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah, I'm trying to get him to stop smoking cigarettes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Cuz that's going to hinder your plan.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And why are you afraid of death?

[Kim Congdon]

I. It's so scary.

[John Holmberg]

That is true. That's a good reason.

[Kim Congdon]

It's so scary, dude. I don't know. I don't like not knowing something. And you know, my boyfriend tried to tell me. He's like, it's you. He's like, you don't have to be scared of it for a long time. And then the last minute you just got to be really scared for one second. And I'm like, that does not sound fun.

[John Holmberg]

But every day. So you.

[Kim Congdon]

Have you ever seen when people say that, oh, dying's peaceful. Have you ever seen someone dying? They like, like they don't.

[John Holmberg]

You ever heard a death gurgle?

[Kim Congdon]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

They're horrifying. I watched them on the Internet. Like there's nobody. No, nothing peaceful about that. Everyone drowning is pounding on the car window. Nobody's ever going, oh, this is nice. I'm enjoying it.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Death is not peaceful.

[Kim Congdon]

No.

[John Holmberg]

We say that as living people. Ask a dead guy, he'll tell you the last few minutes were off.

[Kim Congdon]

Look at their face. They look like they're going into the realms of hell on the way out.

[John Holmberg]

They might be. There might be only one opt. The scarier part. Do you believe in an afterlife and all that?

[Kim Congdon]

I don't know. I don't know. I wish that I could like blindly be super religious.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I can't do it.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm not giving up that dream yet.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. See, but I see the problem is with believing in an afterlife is that I think you're going to amp it up a little bit too high.

[Kim Congdon]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And it might not. It might disappoint.

[Kim Congdon]

Oh yeah. It sucks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And you're like, oh, I had kind of thought we Were going to be walking on clouds and stuff. Then you have to. You find that you have to get a job. Job.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You know, they make you work and you got to build more heaven.

[Kim Congdon]

You're always on the edge of coming.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Kim Congdon]

Can you say that?

[John Holmberg]

Can I say that coming to heaven. I understood what you said. Yeah, no, I totally got what you were saying.

[Kim Congdon]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

I like that. It is the second coming.

[Kim Congdon]

What's that?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we can do it multiple times. Well, that's an interesting way to think of heaven. That is. You've been edged for the rest of eternity.

[Kim Congdon]

You're edged for the rest of eternity with fun.

[John Holmberg]

But wouldn't you just be bored of that? That.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

After a while you're like, just normal.

[Kim Congdon]

That's why I'm always confused when they're like, hell sucks. I'm like. It seems like all the really fun people, all the good music, everyone. All the good music, all the artists.

[John Holmberg]

The people I want to talk to are there. Like Kennedy, Michael Jackson, Gandhi. Michael Jackson, you know? Yeah. Hitler, Mother Teresa. They're all down there.

[Kim Congdon]

Exactly.

[John Holmberg]

And they're the ones that I would want to talk to. Do you want to see a video? Because I have a thing. I think I can change what you want to do to end your life. I think this is. Instead of just having your boyfriend inside you. Try this.

[Kim Congdon]

My husband. Don't. Just.

[John Holmberg]

I'm sorry.

[Kim Congdon]

Come on. Have some respect.

[John Holmberg]

You're not gonna. You're not gonna just live it out. Just in case you're gonna commit. All right. 122. Imagine this is you and your friend. You're gonna see it in a second. This is a new thing we. We've discovered this morning. This is a. Just wait. Yeah. Hopefully you're. You're not. You can't predict what's gonna happen. Pause it in a second. All right, what's gonna happen next? Next I.

[Kim Congdon]

She's gonna in her.

[John Holmberg]

No, you can't say that. Well, you have to be a little less vulgar. I thought she also was going to poop in her bottom as well.

[Kim Congdon]

I didn't know this was a.

[John Holmberg]

This is a thing now watch.

[Kim Congdon]

G rated.

[John Holmberg]

Watch. Yes. Yes. This is Disney. Watch this. You and your husband could be doing this at 122. Who's that in between? And we're having a good time.

[Brady Bogan]

I can't believe that's real.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Kim Congdon]

How can you play the sounds? But I can't say the P and the A.

[John Holmberg]

These people are just. They're on a roller coaster. All we showed you was a Roller coaster video.

[Kim Congdon]

I can't believe I just saw.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, us too.

[Kim Congdon]

One roller coaster seat belt go into another roller coaster.

[John Holmberg]

Buckled into the wrong belt, right? Yeah. Nothing but net, too. Yeah, exactly. It's not even banging on the side.

[Kim Congdon]

That was a smooth transition.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's like when planes try to refuel in the air.

[Kim Congdon]

It's harder for me to get a USB into a computer.

[John Holmberg]

I always have to turn it over.

[Kim Congdon]

Once was. Wow, that was.

[John Holmberg]

So maybe when you're 122, you can do that. I know. And then just to go right to town. It's just built in.

[Brady Bogan]

We're wondering how many takes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Kim Congdon]

Those girls are talented.

[John Holmberg]

That's an amazing. And do you feel like you've wasted your life at this point? Don't you?

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Like you've never even thought of that.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. That's really insane. People are so creative.

[John Holmberg]

Very creative. And that's what makes me happy. For humanity.

[Kim Congdon]

That was beautiful. That brought a tear to my eye.

[John Holmberg]

I don't want to go to the Louvre. This is what I want to be around. It's crazy. So. Yeah. So now you can change your plans at 122.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And maybe crap a toy into your husband.

[Kim Congdon]

Oh, my.

[Brady Bogan]

With the family gathered around.

[John Holmberg]

See, the reason I bring this up is because I was just introduced to that 10 minutes before you got here. My mind is not on you today. I'm sorry. I'm not focused. I can't stop thinking of the buildup. Like, what can we do? There had to be a drawing. And like, you know.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

The planning, engineering, and, like, triangulations and numbers and math, geometry.

[Kim Congdon]

That had to take a few tries. There was no way.

[John Holmberg]

That was no way they first timed it.

[Kim Congdon]

First time. First timed it. That's got to go in the Guinness Book of World Records.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And the other thing is, they had to realize, hey, the first thing we used to loosen me up wasn't big enough. We gotta. We gotta go bigger.

[Kim Congdon]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you kind of gotta make it bigger so it's an easier transition.

[John Holmberg]

Anyway, it's nice to meet you.

[Kim Congdon]

It's really nice to meet you guys. I was a strong opener. I didn't know what I was getting into. It was a lot different than the radio I listened to when I was a kid.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Kim Congdon]

In the morning with my dad.

[John Holmberg]

The old zoo never did this.

[Kim Congdon]

No, this is much different.

[John Holmberg]

Kim Congdon's at Desert Ridge Improv tonight and tomorrow. What else should we know about you? You said you like getting high.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah, I like Smoking a little weed? I don't know. That's allowed here, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Do you still do it the old fashioned way? Are you gummies vaping? What's your.

[Kim Congdon]

I'm a. I'm a. I'm a blunt smoker too.

[John Holmberg]

You like the blunts?

[Kim Congdon]

I like the blunts. I like the tobacco.

[John Holmberg]

You like the burn?

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah, I like a mushroom. I like a little acid.

[John Holmberg]

My God. Keep going.

[Kim Congdon]

I like a little dmt.

[John Holmberg]

Where do you draw the line? DMT scares the dmt.

[Kim Congdon]

Scary. I've only done it once.

[John Holmberg]

And how did it go?

[Kim Congdon]

It was insane.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, what happened?

[Kim Congdon]

I did it in a hotel room in was staying at a casino. I did it off of 8 pen, one of Duncan Trussell's.

[John Holmberg]

Were you at Penn's Anna Nicole or. Yeah. Was that hotel the Semit?

[Kim Congdon]

Oh no.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Kim Congdon]

I don't know. I would have seen your spirit.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what I was. I was wondering if you saw her floating around the room.

[Kim Congdon]

For money.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's right.

[Kim Congdon]

Am I getting better at it? Am I getting better at it?

[John Holmberg]

Her ghost was busy fellating other ghosts for ghost cash.

[Kim Congdon]

Cash. They're edging me up here in heaven.

[John Holmberg]

You're seeing it. The only way to see it is a horrible drug habit.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Did you see anything that scared you or made you feel like you had to change your life? I.

[Kim Congdon]

No, I didn't feel like I needed to change my life at all. I saw. Well, I'd never seen the Matrix in my life before. And the first thing I heard was a soft rain in the hotel room. Cuz I had my eyes closed. And then when I heard the rain, I opened my eyes and it was raining inside. Yes, it was like a light. Looked like a light sprinkling of a language. I don't know how to explain it. It was coming down ver like Matrix. Yeah, but it looked like white rain. Yeah, yeah, but it looked like rain. And I was like by the way.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody google white rain. Go ahead, keep going. Sorry.

[Kim Congdon]

Or blue waffle.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, don't do that.

[Kim Congdon]

So. And then the next thing I saw was a pack of penguins and they were waddling in a snowstorm. And I was watching them and I was like they look kind of suspicious. And right when I thought that, they turned to me and smiled and they had like a green glowing in their mouth. And then I had it some sort of thing tell me that there's aliens in the Arctic and that they're penguins. And then that's it. That's all I got. And I don't think it's real?

[John Holmberg]

Well, no. Yeah. You didn't go on like, searching that you knew what was reality and what was kind of like goofy?

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And it just. How long did that last? You know?

[Kim Congdon]

That lasted probably three minutes.

[John Holmberg]

Do you. Like a scale of one to ten? You're telling me. I've never even thought about doing it. Like, rank it for me.

[Kim Congdon]

I would do it. Yeah. I would do it. Yeah. I would give it astronomy.

[John Holmberg]

Huh.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you go back and do it again?

[Kim Congdon]

No, I didn't do it again. It does. It is a little scary. You go somewhere.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. You go somewhere. And I also. This is hard to explain. I had the image of everything I've ever seen on a platter. Like there was a platter and it was spinning and everything I've ever seen was like morphing.

[John Holmberg]

All things that you.

[Kim Congdon]

All things I've ever seen? Yeah. All on this platter, spinning rapidly. And then I kind of woke up.

[Brady Bogan]

Up.

[John Holmberg]

How did you know? Wow. Like, what stood out on that?

[Kim Congdon]

I don't know. It was very silly.

[John Holmberg]

Like your dad in the shower or something weird.

[Kim Congdon]

No, it was like animals and like. Like anything you could think. An animal's forks, a microphone, like everything at a speeding rate, everything I've ever seen or known. And it was like in two seconds. It was hard to explain.

[John Holmberg]

You're like, all right, that's it. And then how do you go back to just being normal after that?

[Kim Congdon]

And then I was like, I think I'm gonna go play slots. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I'm a. Oh, you caugh kid. You're a fun girl.

[Kim Congdon]

You were going to say fun girl. And I'm a messed up person.

[John Holmberg]

Caught one. Nice job. You're effed up is what you were going to say.

[Kim Congdon]

Yes, I was.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Well, that's. What's. The. What do you think caused all that? If I was your therapist.

[Kim Congdon]

Oh, my parents, they were the problem. 100%.

[John Holmberg]

What was wrong with them?

[Kim Congdon]

They're both narcissists.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, really?

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And yet they found each other.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, boy.

[Kim Congdon]

My mom is. Well, I don't know if my dad's a narcissist, to be exact. Have you ever seen Shameless?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Kim Congdon]

My dad is Frank Gallagher.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no kidding.

[Kim Congdon]

To the T. If Frank Gallagher was a commercial fisherman, it would be my dad. Frank Gallagher to the T. Really?

[John Holmberg]

So you watched that and thought, oh, this is too close to home. Yeah.

[Kim Congdon]

And my mom is kind of like the mom in it.

[John Holmberg]

No. So you lived Shameless. You Have a shameless parent. Yeah.

[Kim Congdon]

I have three little sisters. I'm the oldest.

[John Holmberg]

You don't know one?

[Kim Congdon]

I can't say. Why?

[John Holmberg]

Prostitute.

[Kim Congdon]

No. Close.

[John Holmberg]

Onlyfans prostitute?

[Kim Congdon]

No. Something like that.

[John Holmberg]

Well, how is it something like that?

[Kim Congdon]

And the other one works at a bank and the other one's a mom.

[John Holmberg]

So you got a mom, a banker, and a questionable adult life.

[Kim Congdon]

And an adult.

[Brady Bogan]

And an adult industry.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Is she in the adult industry?

[Kim Congdon]

Something like that.

[John Holmberg]

She's a porn star.

[Kim Congdon]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Ah. If I guess it was. Oh, she's a stripper.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's not a big. It's Florida.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. You'll be all right. You're down. Yeah. You're arguing.

[Kim Congdon]

It's a secret. She's out there publicly, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's like she's. Don't tell everybody I'm naked for money.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Is she good at it? Have you seen her?

[Kim Congdon]

I haven't seen her.

[John Holmberg]

You've never gone to see her?

[Kim Congdon]

She invited me to come over and watch her bounce that ass recently, and I politely declined.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. I said, she seen your show?

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So she comes to your work. Yeah.

[Kim Congdon]

I should be hers.

[John Holmberg]

You should probably support her a little, I think.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. Yeah. It was really weird when she was throwing dollar bills at me when I was doing stand up, but.

[John Holmberg]

Well, your top was. To be fair, your top was off.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know why you do that. Yeah, that's right. People love to see your show for two reasons. Kim Congdon is at Desert Ridge Improv if you want to go there. 602-910-5156 but just go to desert ridgeimprov.com that's the easier way to do it.

[Kim Congdon]

Go there or you hate women.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. You're probably a misogynist because what are you going to do? Watch a man. Otherwise.

[Kim Congdon]

That's crazy.

[John Holmberg]

And laugh the whole time.

[Kim Congdon]

Oh, God. Who likes laughter?

[John Holmberg]

Yuck. Go see a woman. No, I'm kidding. So, yeah. What got you into comedy? Your parents probably, again.

[Kim Congdon]

Well, my parents were both. They're both. You know, my mom's a narcissist, my dad's kind of crazy, but they're both incredibly funny people. I had some producers doing a project. They were interviewing comedians, parents. They flew back home to Florida to interview my parents, and they were like, out of all the comedians, yours were the worst.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah, they were like. Your dad just brought us to, like, different bars and we had to pay off his tabs and. For an interview in exchange for interviews.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he Charged them for every bottle. Yeah.

[Kim Congdon]

And he would take them to different locations where he owed. And he'd be like, you want 10 minutes? You gotta pay this tab.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. Otherwise you just leave. Yeah. And they paid it. Yeah.

[Kim Congdon]

And the video is great. They're very entertaining people.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Kim Congdon]

And they said that my mom used up almost all of their tape because she wouldn't stop talking about herself.

[John Holmberg]

No. Now, do you want to see your parents pass away making love? No.

[Kim Congdon]

They've been divorced, but still my mom.

[Brady Bogan]

And my dad rallied up for the. Or they individually filmed.

[Kim Congdon]

They individually filmed. They don't talk really. But my mom got remarried and then my. And then got divorced.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Kim Congdon]

And then my stepdad and my dad became, like, best friends.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Kim Congdon]

When my mom moved out, my dad moved in to my stepdad's house.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute.

[Kim Congdon]

During COVID Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Your mom and stepdad get divorced and your real dad and stepdad now are roomies?

[Brady Bogan]

It's not a down low thing.

[Kim Congdon]

No, no, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

Would you like to see them making.

[Kim Congdon]

Love at 120 more than my mom and my dad do?

[John Holmberg]

That thing. We just showed you that.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that. That poop thing. That's weird. Yeah. Where dads do that. And probably that's where they got the idea. Now that I think about. That's probably circulating.

[Kim Congdon]

Dads do that.

[John Holmberg]

Dads do that. Good. Dads do. The good ones are loving that. What? So you're. You got a boyfriend? You want to get married? Probably, yeah. Putting the screws to this guy. What does he do?

[Kim Congdon]

He was in the military for 10 years. He went to West Point.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. He's really smart.

[John Holmberg]

Has he seen your sister dance?

[Kim Congdon]

No, not yet. I don't know. I actually don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

You got.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe.

[Kim Congdon]

I'm Puerto Rican. Now I'm pissed. I'm a jealous dude. I'm a jealous girlfriend.

[John Holmberg]

Are you? That's awesome. Awful.

[Kim Congdon]

The other day, he was like, I love your big Puerto Rican button. In my head, I was like, so you like Puerto Rican butts? Like, I'm like, so. Yeah. I'm so nuts.

[John Holmberg]

Dude, not your butt.

[Kim Congdon]

No, it's like, so you like butts.

[John Holmberg]

He does.

[Kim Congdon]

He does.

[John Holmberg]

And he likes your butt, so you should be comfortable with that.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah, of course. I'm not like, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Are you stabby? No, Puerto Ricans are mostly that.

[Kim Congdon]

No, I'll. I'll throw a flinch, right?

[John Holmberg]

You'll throw a chest.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Have you ever hit a. I've thrown things. Oh, you throw at the man or Just thrown.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. I think that we should bring back slapping men first of all.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kim Congdon]

A good open habit. Women should be able to. Men should shake women, and women should be able to slap men, and that's the first thing.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna be the next President of the United States. I've never heard more true words.

[Kim Congdon]

I think we need to get it out again. You know, I would love to, like, if my boyfriend's talking back to me, do, like, one of the, like.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, like those 20 slaps. Yeah. How dare you, sir?

[Kim Congdon]

Oh, you pig.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, and then he can grab you and shake you around.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

That's what you think.

[John Holmberg]

This is fantastic. So do you allow him to shake you at all?

[Kim Congdon]

No, he won't shake me.

[John Holmberg]

Really? Have you asked, like, when I'm out of line, will you shake me back in? No.

[Kim Congdon]

I'm scared. I just watched the Gabby Petito documentary.

[John Holmberg]

So did I.

[Kim Congdon]

It really shut me up.

[John Holmberg]

What did you think?

[Kim Congdon]

I thought she was doing a lot with the video influencing. And he seemed a little fed up. But there's no reason to kill her.

[John Holmberg]

I said the same thing, except for my take on it was you can't go on a road trip with anybody that long and not somebody doesn't end up dead.

[Kim Congdon]

You can't be in a camper with a white girl that wants to vlog that long.

[John Holmberg]

And I couldn't do it for two hours.

[Brady Bogan]

Camper.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And it wasn't even a camper. It was. And he stunk. Everybody in the video said he was in the car. He was gamey. And then she tried to kick him out because his feet stunk.

[Kim Congdon]

Gamy's so good.

[John Holmberg]

And then. But everybody said he stunk. And they're driving around And I'm like, 41 days is when she finally snapped and he smacked her around a little.

[Kim Congdon]

Now imagine if he could have just shaken her every day.

[John Holmberg]

It. If he could have just gotten hold of it. Now get a hold of yourself, lady. Listen to me. You've lost your mind.

[Kim Congdon]

No more drones. Enough with the drones.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, the drone got him.

[John Holmberg]

One day without drones.

[Kim Congdon]

That'll set a man off.

[Brady Bogan]

Anything but a drone.

[John Holmberg]

So I walked away thinking. And also, she's texting her old boyfriend. I think Brian might have gotten hold of the phone.

[Kim Congdon]

Oh, definitely.

[John Holmberg]

There's a lot more to this. That makes it sort of like she didn't deserve to. To die.

[Kim Congdon]

They think he's still alive.

[John Holmberg]

Who?

[Kim Congdon]

The Internet.

[John Holmberg]

That thing's never right. They found his decomposing court.

[Kim Congdon]

Now they're saying that the person that examined the dental records was related to him.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, so it's a thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Inside job.

[Kim Congdon]

That's the. That's the rumor on the Internet. But, you know, you see these stories. That one, Chris Watts, I was really into that. That one freaked me out.

[John Holmberg]

There's some. There's. I watch a lot of murder shows.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm fascinated by it. Gabby Petito was one where I walked away going. Well, the media kind of gave us this picture. They were driving each other nuts.

[Kim Congdon]

It seemed like they were hitting each other a lot.

[John Holmberg]

A lot. And that was. That was going down the wrong road.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

She was a victim, but so was he. And he won.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. No, that's why women K word their babies.

[John Holmberg]

K word. Ketamine.

[Kim Congdon]

Kill.

[John Holmberg]

Kill. Oh, you can say kill isn't a cuss word.

[Kim Congdon]

Okay. I don't know if you can say.

[Brady Bogan]

That'S what drives them to kill a baby.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Kim Congdon]

That's why women kill babies and why men kill women. It's because they're small, smaller. Dude, women would just kill men instead of their babies. But they're not. They can't.

[John Holmberg]

We're not talking about bringing back shaking babies. That's not a thing we want to do. No, no, no. Maybe the girl babies.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah, that's about it. Get a hold of yourself, baby.

[John Holmberg]

You've lost your mind. Come back to reality. Kim Kongden, Desert Ridge Improv this weekend. Desert Ridge improv.com. leave us with words of wisdom.

[Kim Congdon]

Oh, my God. What a high pressure situation.

[John Holmberg]

That's why we put you here.

[Kim Congdon]

Listen, if you're gonna shake your lady.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Kim Congdon]

Be nice about it.

[John Holmberg]

Have boundaries. Shake her with love.

[Kim Congdon]

Shake her like a gentleman.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Isn't that an outcast song? That might be it. Kim. Pleasure to meet you.

[Kim Congdon]

Thank you, guys.

[John Holmberg]

Kim Congan, everybody. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. Yes. Can you repeat it?

[Brady Bogan]

You thought that was funny?

[John Holmberg]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? There's the new Disturbed. I will not break. And. Oh. Dave Draiman is now on the phone with us. David Draiman, Congratulations. That is a. That's a banger right there.

[Dave Draiman]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I kind of enjoy it myself.

[John Holmberg]

Do you know how often, Dave, that I have guests on the show and we play their new music and I have to lie to them? This is so refreshing.

[Dave Draiman]

Well, thank you. I appreciate that. You can be honest about it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I would try if. Now, have you ever had a host tell you, it's like, that's no good. You should go back to the drawing board.

[Dave Draiman]

Hasn't happened yet. Have had hosts tell me all kinds of other things, but not that now.

[John Holmberg]

Do you read reviews of things? Do you. Are you still conscious of those?

[Dave Draiman]

I try not to, to be honest, because I try to pay more attention to. Are we putting more, you know, people in the seats? Are we reaching more people? As our crowds growing, are we still continuing to ascend, even gradually? That's what I try to focus on.

[John Holmberg]

Do you feel sometimes though? Because I know how hard that is. And you're what, you're 30 years into Disturbed, celebrating 25 years of down with the sickness this year year, and you're. And you're going through all this. Do you find that there was. Do you feel looking back, there was a time where you're like, we're not ascending, we gotta dig out of this. Or was there a pressure you put on yourself to feel that you maybe had to bring it back at any point?

[Dave Draiman]

You know, I really can't honestly say that I feel that we've ever really plateaued. It's always been a nice gradual ascent. I was very, very blessed in that way. It's very unusual on so many levels. It's unusual to have a band that doesn't have the well run dry creatively. We've been very blessed as far as that's concerned. We continue to be able to write powerfully and creatively and with relevancy and thank God, I, I hope the well never does run dry. But I think that that is a huge factor. I think the dedication and the loyalty of our fan base, who are our best marketing tool is unbeatable and undeniable. I think word of mouth is the strongest power that we have to continue to keep spreading what we've created. And our fans are only too eager and happy to share new material and new gems that they have to find along the way with their friends and with people that haven't been exposed to it yet. Then we get, you know, crossovers that we are blessed with, like the Sound of Silence cover and others. It's such an incredible cross pollination that we are blessed with. I. I never. It never gets old and I never cease to be amazed by it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we're talking to Dave Draiman from Disturbed. Their new song We Just Played, I Will Not Break Albums Coming out song is available to stream right now. The concert's coming up in May. Because everybody, you know, I've dabbled with band stuff in the Past and never had it as a passion. Do you think part of the reason why that. Well doesn't run dry is because you still. You're not faking it? Like so many bands get to a certain level at 25 years. Like, I don't have the passion. I'm rich now. I don't have that drive I used to have. It happens in everything. You get a little older, soft, your life experiences change and you. It's hard to tap in. And I will say the song we just played sounds like it would fit right in with early Disturbed as much as it sounds brand new. Yeah. I mean, do you think that has something to do with it? Is it. Is it hard to smell the roses when you're constantly trying to tap that well, that you. That started you.

[Dave Draiman]

It can be. It can be. You know, it can be when you're in the thick of it on. And you never kind of free yourself from the assembly line, so to speak, either. Which we try to do. You know, when it's healthy, when it's conducive, when it's not going to be too much time away for us or for the fans. You know, it's always a challenge maintaining that balance, knowing when it's enough, when it's too much, it's.

[John Holmberg]

Have you guys ever gone into the studio wanting to write something and you all kind of realize this isn't. That we can't right now. We're all kind of slumping.

[Dave Draiman]

Has never happened.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. That's. That's super.

[Dave Draiman]

Has never happened. Yeah, we've. Whenever we finally do get together, the chemistry is undeniable.

[John Holmberg]

It's immediate, you know.

[Dave Draiman]

You know, Danny is definitely, you know, the Joe Perry for my Steven Tyler, if you will. He's. He's my songwriting partner. He's the guy that I've written the most powerful stuff I've ever written with between him and Mikey. Together we are always able to create greatness, thank God. And I think that chemistry that always reemerges the minute that we're back in a room together is part of what helps keep us strong, keep us going. We continue to inspire each other.

[John Holmberg]

That's huge. Do you feel like when you guys are together, it's almost like having. Having that, I guess, the chemical relationship with a. With another human being. But as a crew, there's. Is it ebb and flow? Who's the most creative? Like, you'll have those times you're like, I'm not feeling it, but, man, Danny's going crazy. We've got you know, somebody's bringing so much. Oh, yeah. So it's. It's like. Oh, yeah. It's not always even.

[Dave Draiman]

That actually was kind of like what just happened.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no kidding.

[Dave Draiman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Danny and. And Drew, our producer, you know, they're. They're just instant fire together. You know, they'll go ahead and come up with, you know, these great, you know, idea pieces for me to write the melodies and the rhythms to and, you know. But Daniel sometimes bang out, like, you know, he'll. He'll be on a roll, and I'm. I'm just catching up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you feel. Yeah, he's running, and you feel like, God, I gotta grab hold. Yeah, and sometimes you do that because.

[Dave Draiman]

It'S not always an easy thing, because it's Seems to be, like, almost effortless for him to just spit out, you know, catchy riff after catching riff. It's not always effortless for me to write something to him.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Dave Draiman]

Because sometimes they're complex, sometimes they're not straightforward. Sometimes they're, you know. You know how guitar players can be. We got to choose the interesting chord instead of the one that sounds incredibly harmonious. And let's try odd change over here just to go ahead and throw everything off. It's a little bit of push and pull, but that's healthy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's great.

[Dave Draiman]

That's always healthy for creativity.

[John Holmberg]

That's creativity. You have to have. You can't just. It can't be easy street the whole time, or there's no struggle. Struggle makes creativity. I love the idea that. That your cadence as a singer is wildly unique. And that is something that it's hard to write for, like, musically. But these guys, like, you guys, seem to come up with. With that. But I do have to ask, because at the end of it, you. I don't know if you even heard me say it, but at the end of. I will not break, you throw out the signature, which only you can do. Yeah. And I'm like, is there a moment where everybody's like, come on, Dave.

[Brady Bogan]

Where is it?

[John Holmberg]

Do the thing.

[Dave Draiman]

Oh, God. Like, all the time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Like, even Drew.

[Dave Draiman]

I can't do it enough for Drew. Drew, if I would be making a different type of, you know, animalistic, primal type of noise in every single song, that would make him happy.

[John Holmberg]

Brady said it's Drew's cowbell. It's basically the disturbed cowboy. Are you. Do people make you do it? Like. Like you're over at Applebee's just enjoying your two for Tuesday, and the waiter comes Over. Because I know you are.

[Dave Draiman]

They'll ask. Yeah, you know, I tell them it's expensive.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm good. Oh, you're not handing that out for free. Have you. Have you tried to appease. I think I asked you this before, but have you tried to appease the guys and go, hey, I got a new thing. And they're just like, no, we hate it. Go to the old one.

[Dave Draiman]

You know, it's interesting. You know, the beginning of this. I will not break. So that laugh that you hear was originally. It started off the song with that laugh.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dave Draiman]

And Danny was like, I don't like it there. I don't like it there. I want that, you know, the little. The riff to kind of begin things. I'm like, I'm not going to lose sleep over it. One way or the other. Wherever you feel, you know, you feel better about it, it's not that important to me. So, I mean, that's an example. Something that originally was. Thought it was going to be one way ended up being another way, but that happens a million different times.

[John Holmberg]

And in the end, you have to kind of concede some of it and it works. And sometimes you're like, ah, it would have worked either way. Yeah. Some stuff you just have to.

[Dave Draiman]

Yeah, yeah. Agreed. Agreed.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What are you doing in your life that isn't. That isn't disturbed right now? What does Dave Draiman do with his.

[Dave Draiman]

Free time being a father?

[John Holmberg]

Just being a dad Most of my time.

[Dave Draiman]

Yeah. When I have my kid, you know, and I share custody with my ex, a week on, week off thing when I'm home for extended periods of time. But, you know, we're about to start a tour. So I've had him for the past three weeks or so, knowing I'm gonna be away.

[John Holmberg]

So you get. So you get them for a longer time because you guys are hitting the road.

[Dave Draiman]

Yeah, we're trying to, you know, just even out the time between us because we don't want to shortchange him.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Dave Draiman]

I want to try and give him as much time as I can. I want to be able to have as much time with him as I can.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Dave Draiman]

I try and make up for the time away, you know, before and after. And I'm going to come in a couple times during the tour as well, for a week here and a week there, and it'll. It'll help make things easier. But it's never easy.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Dave Draiman]

I'm going to miss the hell out of the kid.

[John Holmberg]

So, you know, and that's true with shared custody or not, your dad's got to leave sometimes. It's your life. It's not exactly a perfect way to have, you know, visitation.

[Dave Draiman]

No. Yeah, it's not the typical, you know, normal situation, quote unquote. But you know what? I. He's starting to really kind of understand the depth of it almost too well. He's very talented in his own room with the kid. He's got a hell of a voice. Scares the hell out of me, to be honest.

[Brady Bogan]

How old is he now?

[Dave Draiman]

Wish this life upon him. He's turning 12.

[Brady Bogan]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, so he's.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So he's. Is he a Disturbed fan?

[Dave Draiman]

He's a fan of music in general, yeah. Definitely a fan of his daddy and a fan of our band. But he. He's like all kinds. Like, he's. He's trying to go into the drama programs in middle school and he's got, you know, he's trying to get singing parts and he's in chorus. He's definitely into the performance aspect and he's actually got presence and he's got.

[John Holmberg]

A voice that's huge.

[Dave Draiman]

Like I said, that's what scares me.

[John Holmberg]

It should. What does Dave Draiman bang on his door and say, turn that crap down? Like, what do you, as the lead singer of Disturbed, tell your son is garbage? Turn that down. Not in my house, like my dad used to do.

[Dave Draiman]

Oh, God. If he's listening to any of his nonsense with that brain rot terminology, anything that's talking about a skibidi Ohio Rizzler or whatever the hell it is the kids are using, and there's like so many bastardizations of songs with all that garbage and gobbledygook in it. And he's like, he'll go ahead and, you know, start pumping it up. Like, dude, come on, at least play a real song. That's his garbage.

[John Holmberg]

So even disturbs lead singer Dave Draiman tells his kid that's not music. Why, in my day.

[Dave Draiman]

Yes. And get off my lawn.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Did you. What did your parents make you stop listening to? Did they bang on your door and say, David?

[Dave Draiman]

Well, I. I had to sneak a lot of my early stuff. Like, I went ahead and bought my first record, you know, on. On the slide. I snuck out of the house and bought this destroyer. They did not want me to have that in the house.

[John Holmberg]

Really.

[Dave Draiman]

Do it over at my friend's house across the street.

[John Holmberg]

Kiss. It was just. Yeah, it was the devil stuff. Is that mainly what was the first.

[Dave Draiman]

Oh, yeah, no Knights and Satan Service, you know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And nights and Satan service. But they knew that, so they, they were paying attention to what was going.

[Dave Draiman]

On as best they could. Yeah, let's put it that way.

[John Holmberg]

And do you think that them like not liking it pushed you closer to wanting to be around it?

[Dave Draiman]

I think that's kind of the way it is for just about every kid.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I think so. Now do your parents look at what you did and go, well, if we tried to stop this, we're sorry?

[Dave Draiman]

You know what? They're now my biggest fans.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dave Draiman]

Crazy how things have come full circle. And to be honest, when I first left being a healthcare administrator to go ahead and try and pursue the life of a rock star, they were very this traditional Jewish family, you know, happy that their son is this, you know, upstanding gentleman running a 365 bed school nursing facility, you know, making six figure plus salary with the company car and the company pager. That's how long ago it was. Gentleman, company pager.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. Yes. That's still impressive in radio, Dave.

[Dave Draiman]

Yeah, yeah. So it's been, it's been a hell of a trip.

[Brady Bogan]

Now my son's a maven in the music business.

[John Holmberg]

Do they, have they met? Did you introduce them to Kiss at any point?

[Dave Draiman]

I, I haven't had the opportunity to and nor do I think they want to hear it.

[John Holmberg]

I would love for you to someday bring Gene Simmons in and go, you guys tried to stop this. He's the inspiration just to see what Gene would do.

[Dave Draiman]

All Gene would end up saying is everything he says to just about every other guy he ever ends up saying hello to him. He'd say, oh, yes, you're very handsome and powerful.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Yeah. No, that's true. It's fairly predictable. The end of this.

[Dave Draiman]

Every card.

[John Holmberg]

That is very true, Dave. You're coming to town in May. It's. It's exciting to have new Disturbed as good as that was too. And I'm not, I'm not blowing smoke. That was that we actually said it to each other while it was playing. I'm like, this is. And not, not that it was necessary, but this feels like the way I felt when I first heard it. It's got a very, it's got a very raw, disturbed feel to it. A very signature sound that, that would fit in an any genre. But what we really fell in love with you in the beginning when we started this journey with Disturbed. It sounds like it fits right in there. So I'm happy to say I don't have to sugarcoat or lie to the person I'm talking to about their movie or music and say, oh, what a great thing. This is actually really good, and I'm looking forward to the rest of it. When's the album come out?

[Dave Draiman]

Yeah, that's a good question. We are going to take our.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Dave Draiman]

You know, part of. Part of the problem that I think us and just about every other musician in existence has to deal with when they write and record an album's worth of material is that you end up having, you know, you write 10 or 12 tracks, you put your heart and soul into them, and three or four of them end up becoming singles. Three or four of them end up seeing the light of day, and the rest of them end up sitting on the shelf collecting dust and maybe if ever, ever get played or have no awareness of them. And this session, we had so many single contenders that were like, you know what, let's just take our time. Let's release song by song by song until we're ready to finally let everybody hear the whole record. You get as much mileage out of these songs as possible. So I would say the earliest you're going to be able to see the entirety of this collection would be sometime in 2020.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. So you guys are going to bleed it out one at a time when. When you're ready to drop. I actually think that's the smart way to go nowadays. That's. Yeah. Because if you've got 12 songs you're proud of. 12 songs. Why. Why? Make us find it. Bring it to us when you're ready.

[Dave Draiman]

We'll. We'll take our time with it. And I think everybody's going to enjoy this adventure every step of the way.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, fantastic. Well, there you go. Well, we're looking forward to the show coming up. 25 years of down with sickness. Still can't believe that's something that just fell out of my mouth. But congratulations on an unbelievable run that is nowhere near done. Evidently, this is a. A pretty nice deal. Are you tired of the fans that want to do you? Have you said it earlier that the fans are willing to open their ears to new stuff, but so many bands have been around as long as you have, they become a greatest hits tour. And that's kind of. That's got to be frustrating, right? You're not on that.

[Dave Draiman]

That. That should be our biggest problem.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Who's complaining?

[Dave Draiman]

Thank God we have got so many at this point. I mean, what are we going on? You got like 20 or 21 number one singles at this point. So there's so many songs that, that you would think just have to be played every night and everybody, we end up missing, you know, several each time. You can never make everybody happy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dave Draiman]

This time I think having us play the Sickness in its entirety, something we've never done before. Some of these songs on the Sick we haven't played in 15 to 20 years or ever.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Dave Draiman]

So it's. It's going to be a hell of a trip down memory, memory lane. Lots of nostalgia, lots of little bits and surprises and shock rock type stuff from back in the day that we haven't done in a long time, done in a new way. It's going to be a challenging tour, but it's going to be a hell of a lot of fun.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I can't wait for it. It's coming here in May. We're excited about it. Thanks for taking time this morning to talk about the new song and everything that's coming, coming with it. And of course, travel safe and the best of luck to you. And when you're here in May, you know, wander over to the station, say, hi, what's wrong?

[Dave Draiman]

Thank you, guys.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Dave Draiman]

We're looking forward to it.

[John Holmberg]

All right, thanks, David. We'll talk to you soon. Dave Draiman, everybody. Lead singer of Disturbed. Right there. That's. Yeah. What the hell? Come on. Pop by. Doors open. Doors wide open. That's that new song, actually. Email after email and Jeremy's first one that popped up said disturb us back to their old themselves. And it does feel like that very early vibe. Very cool. So Disturbed tickets on sale now if you want to go to that thing. And is that sold out? Not yet, no. That's going to be good. At what used to be called Footprint, America West Arena, US Airway center, whatever it is. Whatever it is now. But yeah, and it's the Frank Caliendo Memorial. We got ourselves the entertainment drill. And the Guadalupe Square is coming up. Frank's here. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Look, Frank Caliendo's joining us for the entertainment drill in the Guadalupe Squares. I had forgotten that they moved a show to March for you and thought you were coming in just out of the. The Desire. March 8 at the Tempe Improv. That one. That's the. Because I sold out the Desert Ridge ones so fast. Yeah, that you had to have that. I had to have make more money. Overflow. Pay for something. Pay for American Express bill.

[Brady Bogan]

It just arrived.

[John Holmberg]

That just shows up and randomly has charges on it that no one can explain. Nobody knows. My wife's credit card has feet and legs. It leaves something. I'm gonna go for a jog.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm gonna go for a jog.

[John Holmberg]

My wife's credit card is Brian Regan. Gonna go for a job now.

[Brady Bogan]

Gonna go for a jog.

[John Holmberg]

Definitely not go for a job. First thing I need on this jog is a pair of new shoes though. Gonna get good wing shoes and it at the like the kind of cupid wears, you know, I need, you know I need for that. You know what I'm gonna need for the cupid shoes? A necklace. Gonna need a necklace. Necklace. A matching necklace. So you have to overflow your sold out shows months later to, you know, make sure you're paying the bills at home. And I'm going Italy. Oh, you got to kick in for that. Yeah. Imagine what that living credit card's going to do there. Kick in for it. Well, that's what I'm saying. What am I talking about? It's full on penalty kicks and I'm the goalie. That's what that is. And they're just. They're shooting at you all at once. Fire. Are you taking the whole family? 10pm Probably March 9th. It is March 9th. So it's the fund. Frank's trip to Italy. Please help. No, half of it's going to the government. Well, that's true too. That's the get make as 10 taxes easier. Yeah. Tempianproud.com what are you going to say? You were going to ask if I had nothing to say. Brady Entertainment drill brought to you by react Defense. Produce this thing now. Yeah. You want to. It's the chair. You're in Toledo's mic so you got to produce. It's the entertainment drill brought to you by reactdefense.com the home of Tactical Black Self Defense Training 199 for personal training for two months of everything they offer. And that schedule is [e-mail] I told you this week that the day I missed just out of laziness, which I don't. I try not to do. I was actually depressed because this is something. When you miss it, you feel bad for missing it. It's not like a regular gym membership where you just don't go and you're like, I'll be fine. This is one where you actually feel like I might have missed something important today. And I have to wait for that to recycle to get it again. You learn something every time you go there. Last time was just absolutely eye opening. You get it every time you go and you get in great shape while you're doing it. Reactdefense.com it's the home of Tactical Black Brady Entertainment.

[Brady Bogan]

There's an online betting. Online betting guide that already he's giving you odds on who's going to headline the 2026 Super bowl halftime show. Taylor Swift so far in the lead. Miley Cyrus and Chapel Rome. They're also saying oasis has a 14 chance probability.

[John Holmberg]

No, you got a better chance of the Beatles.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, we need to see that, right?

[John Holmberg]

No, I didn't say. I said Taylor. Sabrina Carpenter's pretty big right now. She might pop up there. They're gonna go with a woman, though, because usually they'll do the. The thing that appeals to men, then the next year's women and it's more soft. I would. I would imagine also a country singer.

[Brady Bogan]

That's weird.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah, I think country. Why not do something fun that incorporates lots of different genres that goes across, you know, or that. Why aren't we appealing to, like Brady said, the gays? Why can't we do a full Broadway production of I. I feel like football's already starting to do that. There is a little getting real close. Yeah. That is true.

[Brady Bogan]

The next James Bond will be chosen by Jeff Bezos.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

Amazon has assumed creative control over the James Bond franchise.

[John Holmberg]

He's probably going to do it himself then. He seems like a villain. He would. Yeah, he's. Oh, he's an evil.

[Brady Bogan]

We saw something a couple weeks ago. They were saying it was Henry Co. Cavill.

[John Holmberg]

But is that how you pronounce it? It's. I thought it was Cavill.

[Brady Bogan]

Cavill.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know Cavill. You know what? Cavill. I was going with Cavill until you said that. And then I'm like, wait a minute. If somebody has a question, usually Brady's not. Don't question the words, man. I'll say Brady's.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh. Henry Cable.

[John Holmberg]

I'm. Rhymes with navel. Hank Cable. I'm the new James.

[Brady Bogan]

He loves his herbs.

[John Holmberg]

He's British.

[Brady Bogan]

Nick Cage's ex girlfriend, Christina Fulton, is suing him.

[John Holmberg]

Baby girl.

[Brady Bogan]

Because her son Weston allegedly beat her up. Christina claims Nick enabled Weston growing up. He didn't teach him properly.

[John Holmberg]

I did. By shooting sperm into someone and I enabled his existence. Baby girl. And then he punched you.

[Brady Bogan]

He didn't give him the proper psychiatric help he needed.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, stop. I. I gotta get. You know, he's playing Madden in the movie. I just got. I just got an audition they sent to me yesterday. I turned it, went down to play Howard Cosell. No kidding. Why? Because it's in the Mad movie. I was like, I'm not doing this. Why not? No, because it was just an audition. It's. I'm not gonna get it, so. Why wouldn't you? No, because I'm not gonna get it. Do you not want. I don't want to. You don't want to be in the Madden movie? No. Unless you're Madden. No, I don't even want to be. Would you have done that? Would I have done the. Oh, a Mad movie? In a heartbeat. Yeah. So if. Had they offered you the Madden position? Yeah, but Cage is like, I'm doing it. I'm gonna do that. Nobody. Right. In the snot. They want me to audition for the Howard Gaul. You do it. Do that. I'm not doing it. Why? No, because it would be a pain. In what way? Just annoying. Because they probably just want me to walk around helping him learn to do John Madness. Oh, I see. You feel like they're gonna.

[Brady Bogan]

And then they give you a little part for the deal, you know?

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't even think they're doing that. I think it's just that I don't. It was just a read on tape and I don't think I'd get it, hand it over to a friend. I did. I brought you up. No, you did. I did not. You liar. Wouldn't it be great, though, if it's like Frank's nightmare as he does. All right, I'll say. And they say, yes. And then Nicholas Cage, like, you know what, you do Madden. And the next thing I'm known for, John Holmberg is John Madden. Here's a guy stolen frets from another guy, stuffed it into a different impression. Not even very good. It's perfect. I'm Howard Carcell now. When they have you read those things on tape, they never really want you, otherwise they'd want to see you. Yeah, but it was just to say that they probably. Ah, you gotta just see. Just take that down a road at some point. That's. That's kind of neat that. I think it's neat that you're in the Madden movie and not Madden. Yeah, I would love. I'd rather be myself in it. Just annoying John Madden the whole time, just hanging around. I shall call him Mini Me. There would be a moment in the biopic of Madden, where he meets you. Yeah, that's what it should be.

[Brady Bogan]

Just pissed off.

[John Holmberg]

You're going down and then there's like just a five minute fight scene. Yeah. Like the chicken and Peter Griffin.

[Brady Bogan]

You're thrown down with Willie, his bus driver.

[John Holmberg]

And there can be only one. Boom. There could be only one. And you have to fight like the Matrix. The last Mad and fighting for. I want this. Anyway, so you're going to have fun with this when the Mad movie comes out. Yeah. There's going to be a ton of social media stuff for you. You're going to tear that. Everybody's going to want to talk to me again.

[Brady Bogan]

Finally.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, finally. You're. This, this, this, this. You not being in that movie is good for your career. I think it's better. I think it might be. Yeah. Because if it's trash. Yeah, you can, you can have a field day with that. Yeah. Because then you just say, really? My. My website was that Madden guy for years and I didn't even. You gave it to Nicholas Cage. Oh, I like that. All right, we're late. That's my fault. Guadalupe Square is coming up. If you want to play 585 9, 800, we can give you tickets to either Frank show on Sunday. Yeah, yeah, sure. Are you sure? Whenever they're free. It's not going to help you in Italy. Doesn't matter. Okay. Or we got Mud Vein. Right, Mud Vein tickets. So we'll give you something. We need a girl, we need a boy. 5859-800- we'll play the squares next. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

[Brady Bogan]

You thought that was funny?

[John Holmberg]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Can't believe how fast today has gone. Frank Caliendo is here. He is helping us out with the Guadalupe Squares. They become the Caliendo squares when he's here and it's because he's got a show on March 8th. Is that what you said? 9th. March 9th, sorry, March 9th at the 10pm Prov. It's on sale. It's a make good for all the folks that couldn't see all those sold out shows that he did.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, there was.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know if I can replicate such greatness, but I'm going to try. We're not asking for you. We want you to just create new art. I like the new introspective glasses version of you. They're just so. Because I can't see everything. Looks like they're Double. Now that's at the age I'm at. Where you've doubled vision. Double vision. It's twice as good. Look at Brady and tell me what you see. Oh, he is handsome. Both of them. Both. Let's do Siamese Brady. I'm Ching. And I'm Chong. And we're S. Brady. Okay, that's the new center Square. No Cheech and Ch. Not Cheech and Cha. No changing Chang and Ang Brady. The Siamese Center. Sorry, that's a new one. We gave one away. It's time now. Thriller's here as well. It's good to see. Although I'm worried about the Thriller. You're giving off a little bit of a I'm miserable vibe. I've just been a little. A little busy this week. It's been tired. Yeah. See, I'm worried about you. Yeah. Are you guys feeling that, too? Yeah. But while you're. While I'm here, could you not act that way? You know, that is. Could you lift it up? I feel like I'm at home. Yeah. Could you fake it? Like, if Frank has a bad day, he can't go on stage and go, here's a guy who doesn't like being on stage. Here's a guy on Dramamine. Everyone who doesn't like me, please raise your hands. I don't know. I don't know if I want to be here anymore. I think I want to go home. All right. Hey, time to take a nap. I don't care if they're actually order period. I'm out of ideas. I'm out of ideas. I'm out of ide. You do something funny. Yeah, exactly. So, Corey, step it up for Christ. All right, all right. Jesus God, it's time for your Guadalupe squares. Here he is, Corey Thriller wall. Take it away. Don't do voices, though. I know. I'm messing with you. I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

As long as the voices of the br. From the top.

[John Holmberg]

The voice is Debris. Top left square. We start with O.J. oh, hey, Twitter world. I got my own open door down here from hell. Hey, I just wanted to kick in. Say, hey there. Hey, Frank. How are you? Great. It's good to see you, man. I came in. I was. Yeah, the juice is loose. Look out now. All right, I'm just here to review. My new job is to review Netflix documentaries, and the new one I like is Gabby Petito. That has turned out to be quite a documentary. The. Let's recap. Man off goes missing, dies. I mean, that's pretty much it's the old story. They used to say boy meets girl.

[Brady Bogan]

Pretty simple.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty simple philosophy. Like, you know, it was a kind of a cookie cutter thing. I mean, when I saw that blonde white woman, I said, she's not gonna make it. I mean, eventually they all go. But I have to say, on a scale of 1 to 10, Brian did a fairly poor job of covering his tracks. So I'd say I give that about a 3 out of 10 as far as, like, learning I anything if you're married to a white blonde woman. So Petito is a 3 out of 10. I highly recommend my documentary because it's kicking ass. I got away with it. Oh, it's still doing great. Number four on Netflix right now. And my family's making a fortune off of that. Oh, yeah, one last thing, you goldmans. All right. Just saying, he's always happy to throw his two cents in. All right, now, huh? Don't interrupt him. Go. Okay, top, middle Square. We got SNL 50th couple of friends here, over 50 years joining us. Oh, that's crazy. OJ's in the square next to me and I just got played by Eddie Murphy. Who thought that would happen? I did, because I'm psychic. Is that part of the lawsuit? You have the ability now. If they hit you, I can't look at your face coming out of you. That was crazy.

[Brady Bogan]

You still eating that four cheese lasagna?

[John Holmberg]

I would not do any less than three cheeses. I go between. Did you? I was saving the square because I ran out of things to say. 50 years and nobody remembers anybody but us. How do you do that? Sound like Bam Bam from the Flintstones. How many cheeses do you think he got on his pizza? Less than the lasagna. Let's hope you two never actually collab. I think that would be a great movie. Instead of Jim Carry with him, I think I should do it. And you could play my couch Gooberly. Do you believe that? Tracy Morgan is my couch And I'm sick of your crap.

[Brady Bogan]

See what I did there? I was right.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he made it right. No, I got talk more to oj. We went golfing together once.

[Brady Bogan]

I remember you.

[John Holmberg]

That's in Tracy Morgan. I asked him to play me in the movie, but it did not go well. I think that would have been good. I did it. His audition. He actually killed somebody. It was very realistic. He's a. He's a method actor. When I grew up, OJ would have been a guardian angel. It was tough there. Oh, okay. Oh, we're Happy to have you. Tracy Morgan has a guardian angel. Yes, I'm here to help. We're gonna sneak into some stuff. Guardian angel. Quiet. What? I just got another angel pregnant. Sorry. Go ahead. Top right. You see that angel the top of the tree? I got her pregnant on every single tree. Every single tree. That's a lot of angels. Miracle. I've been up on top of your tree humping your angel. Charlie's Angels. All right, go ahead. All right. Top right square. You know who it is? President Trump. We're in the right square now. We're all the way to the right.

[Brady Bogan]

Square, doing a lot of great things.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. There's a great square. We're in it.

[Brady Bogan]

And here's what's going to happen, killer. We're going to take a chainsaw to the rest of these squares. We're going to.

[John Holmberg]

Doge is going to take care of them. Elan.

[Brady Bogan]

Elan the doge Father.

[John Holmberg]

Let's be honest. A lot of these squares, a lot of them not as good as ours and not necessary. Only need like 2.1square. I like the Brady square. Brady's fun.

[Brady Bogan]

He does a great job.

[John Holmberg]

Great job.

[Brady Bogan]

He does a great job.

[John Holmberg]

Look at him.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm seeing double of him right now because of the glasses.

[John Holmberg]

And you know what? Not the secret square. That's the first one I want. Dashed dojit.

[Brady Bogan]

But he does very good riddles.

[John Holmberg]

He's a great riddle.

[Brady Bogan]

The only guy that I would use over the riddler as a great guy who does riddles.

[John Holmberg]

How are you gonna. How are you gonna phrase that? Maybe we should change. Let's dose ourselves.

[Brady Bogan]

There was no end to that sentence. That sentence was going to go on.

[John Holmberg]

And on, like government spending.

[Brady Bogan]

And we were going to fix it.

[John Holmberg]

We were going to fix. Doj it. Dodge it, Corey dodge. Well, regardless, we're gonna do.

[Brady Bogan]

And we're gonna put you.

[John Holmberg]

We're gonna cut off one of his legs. He doesn't need it. It's barely working. Doge it.

[Brady Bogan]

And we're gonna put you in a line and you're gonna bob in the ocean.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, is that a threat?

[Brady Bogan]

No, that's a gift.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you're too kind. Off now to the middle left square. We have Morgan Freeman joining us, and they were waiting for Rich Page to play the music.

[Brady Bogan]

He's texting.

[John Holmberg]

He's on his phone. Well, evidently Richard over to help him out with his garage door in a couple of minutes. Didn't have time to finish up the show. Sometimes a man needs to pay attention to his job, and sometimes he needs to restock cat food and to make that Amazon order before 10 o'clock, or he'd have had to spend an extra 350. If you want it to come today, you need to get it in now. And you've got to spend more than 2999. So Rich was doubling up on the product. He misunderstood the text from his wife at home that said, we need something. And he ordered some Meow Mix, not realizing he's probably forwarding some money down to Tucson to his son, who hasn't worked a day in his life. But that's all right. He had one job to do. One job, touch the spaceball. And he was seven seconds late. We had to remind him. You counted. I count very quickly, Cory. I'm a man of many talents. And one of them was keeping an eye on how long it takes Toledo to touch a space bar. I miss my friend Richard. Where'd he go? Nobody knows. Oh, yeah, they're right over there. Nobody knows. Tenejo. Are you ready, Rich? You can hit the button again. We're done. There you go. Thank you again. All right, now we have. Over to the middle square, we have Siamese Brady. Hi. We're doing this. I am Siamese, please. Hi, I'm Brady.

[Brady Bogan]

And I'm Brady.

[John Holmberg]

We're Siamese twins. Connected at the belly button. That's gross. It's always. Is that two stomachs or one bigger stomach? It doesn't matter. You know what? It's a one stomach that eats like two. I'll tell you that. Like a cow.

[Brady Bogan]

Did you guys know this cows have 12 stomachs?

[John Holmberg]

I didn't know that. Yeah, lucky. Might be. Wish I was a cow. There's still time. I just stay at home, play with my teats all day.

[Brady Bogan]

Someday I could become a burger.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God. And I would eat my. Myself. I'd ball up and eat myself. You beat me to it. That's why Siamese twin, you're very careful because I might eat my trout.

[Brady Bogan]

Shout out on myself.

[John Holmberg]

It's happened before. I wonder what I taste like. Are you both the meat? We're in the middle of something. Okay, we've got. We eat like pigs, the two of us. And then we have one butthole. You should hear the farts. It's unbelievable. Two farts better than one. Brady has spoken. Why are you looking at me like Bugs Bunny looked at one of those carrots? Oh, before you get a full meal going on here, go ahead. Hopping on. Now to the middle right square, we have Mad Dog and Stephen A. Here I understand where we're coming from with some of these things. Mad Dog, how come you've been so quiet so far? I don't know what's going on. I just know baseball just started and I'm very excited. Nobody cares about baseball. Everybody loves baseball. First take. No. Second take. Third take.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm the first take.

[John Holmberg]

I've been here forever. I started. I was here when it was called Co Pizza Nobody. You were good. God and Brady ate the show and it had to stop. I'll tell you right now. How many cheeses were on that pizza. Los Angeles Dodgers are the best team that's ever lived. Ah, please. The greatest team that's ever played the game. And it's going to win. They're going to win 161 games this year. Nobody only going to lose one time. Nobody only lose one time. And that's because Dodger Stadium burned down and nobody even has talked about that yet. That nobody understands. What's Stephen Hmith. You and I are an odd couple. I. We are very odd couple. But I love you. I understand. And we should traverse the earth together in a buddy picture in some sort of van or something. Like Gabby Petito and his boyfriend. Who would make it? What's the over under on? I don't know which one would kill first. I would probably say Stephen A. That's not racist. I was just like, why is that? We got real quiet. He's intimidating compared to me. Mad Dog Ruto. Take it from the angry canine. That's right, the Mad Dog. Do you know who I am? Corey? I've seen you. Of course you have. Yeah. Because I'm at Dog Ruto. Everybody's seen me. Is that not true? Is that the answer to the question? Is that not true? It's very true. You're going up on True, true. It sounds like a question and an.

[Brady Bogan]

Exclamation at the same time.

[John Holmberg]

Both unbelievable. Question, part questionation. That's exactly what it is. Which is a word I've actually used. How is it that we both make $20 million a year at ESPN when neither of us ever makes any sense and underpaid? When you become president, I want to be a vice president. Oh, the speech is Smith and Mad Dog. Sounds like a drink your people would love. I knew Brad would like that. I had to fire up the base ego. All right, before we talk, how about a little Smith and Mad Dog? Inner Cities Sounds good to me. By the way, Smith and Bad Dog was a second Basin shortstop combination for the New York Giant of 1911.

[Brady Bogan]

Is that true?

[John Holmberg]

True. True. Very. All right, now, Bottomless square. Brady secret square. Give us a hint. Hello. Hello.

[Brady Bogan]

I would have been 293 years old today. I was the first president of the United States.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Tough one. Okay, thank you.

[Brady Bogan]

We'll figure it.

[John Holmberg]

Birthday out first. All right, let's hop on. Alice first.

[Brady Bogan]

Jeez.

[John Holmberg]

Go ahead. Square. Oh, I don't know who was first, but I'm going to be next. Put him in another square. He doesn't care. Just keep going. Bottom of the square. Now. We have Nicholas Cage joining us. Oh, it's not first, baby girl. First year. I wasn't sure sure whose turn it was. I have to know. What is it going to sound like when I'm John Madden on the big screen? Baby girl. Boom. Right in the snot locker. We're going to steal the other team's playbook. Yeah. We're going to make a video game out of it. I'm going to be on there. Hey, Pat. Ace is the place. Ace is the place for the help helpful hardware man. Yeah. Hey, my feet itch. Boom. Tough Actin Tenactin. I've done the research. It's Thanksgiving. What's for dinner? Turducken? What is it? Stuff a chicken into a duck into a turkey. That sounds delicious. Baby girl. This fall Madden cage. Mad cage Edge Match. All men fight to the death. Yeah. I'm going to Oakland. I'm going to football myself to death. Leaving Oakland. That's going to be a good one with our time. Where's Cheryl Crow? Write the song. All right. Hopping on now to the bottom. Right square. Our Lord and Savior. Trip. That guy looks like he got hit by a freight train. Yeah. I can't wait for Nicolas Cage as John Mann. Too bad, too bad Frank didn't get the job. I'm surprised he didn't. Yeah, we all are. In fact, I auditioned for it. Really? Yeah. Yeah, why not? Hey, Kenny Stabler. Go win this game. Yeah. And they said you're perfect. Too perfect. And they gave it to Nicholas. Cool. Boom. Whack. Here's a guy who doesn't want the job. Yeah. All right, let's go to the phone. Who do we have today? We got Stephanie and Tommy. Stephanie, are you there? Yeah, Tommy, are you there? Yes, I am. All right, Stephanie, you're a girl. Pick a square. Go. Trip, read, Trip, read. All righty. Yeah, right off the bat. Hi, Stephanie. How are you? I'm good.

[Kim Congdon]

How are you?

[John Holmberg]

Big plans this weekend? Have just a softball tournament. Oh, a lesbian. O. Yeah. Are you a second Baseman. No, I pitch. You're a pitcher. O. You're the big one. Is it a big. What do they call it? The big 20, 25 softball? Clam off. Yeah. Who's your favorite co. Teammate? Don't have one. You don't? You just recently broke up with the first baseman or something? Oh, yeah. Something like that. What do you win at the end? Just a big giant taco?

[Kim Congdon]

Something like that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm coming to this game. And I won't be the only one.

[Dave Draiman]

Nope.

[John Holmberg]

Well, what we got here? I got a question for you real fast. Sea blocker. You're welcome. Welcome. The invention and first use of eyeglasses dates back to 1526 in what is now Poland. True or false? I don't know. I have perfect 2020 vision. Even at your age? Yes. That was rude. I'll say. True. Why not Poland? Polish people probably invented glasses. All right, you're saying true. Now, Stephanie, do you agree or disagree with true? I'm gonna have to go with Our Lord and Savior. That did not pan out, actually. He was incurrent. So Tommy gets that square. Circles. All set. Now off to Tommy himself to make your selection. Let's go, Nicholas Cage. All right, Nicholas Cage. Ready to go. Right up. Good pick. Tommy. Tommy, can you hear me? All right, go. Yes, I can go. Here we go. Go. Go. All right. So go, Go. Late. Go. Right. Potatoes originated in Ch. Ireland, as commonly believed. Oh, okay. I like that. He said chile. Chile. Chile. I think that's right. Using el accento. Muchos. Muchas gracias. I had a truffle pig for a while. That was a good movie. I agree. Truffle. What was the best part of it? The pig. Me. Incorrect. Circle gets a square. I played myself. Did well. I did. I played. Me owning a truffle pig. It's like, what do I do? And it would bring me truffles. I'm like, that is what I do. So are you saying true or false potatoes? True.

[Brady Bogan]

True.

[John Holmberg]

True. Truffle picks, find them. You're saying true. Tommy, do you agree or disagree with true? True. No, I disagree. That's incorrect. Then it's true. It's true. X gets that square. It's true. And then I had one, A girl who could find truffle butter. Look it up on the Internet. Gross. Tommy knows what it is. He laughed. He gets it. Yeah, truffles. Got trenches. Back to Stephanie here. Make your choice. Siamese Brady, please. Okay, Siamese Brady, if you please. That's not what you're supposed to call us. We're conjunctivitis twins, I think is what they do now. Oh. Oh, no. And the bad thing is that Brady wants to be a country music singer and I want to be a comedian.

[Brady Bogan]

Comedian.

[John Holmberg]

And she's gay, so she likes to dabble in the lady bitch just like you do. This one plays softball and I just have my arms crossed the whole game. Not one arm. I only crossed one because you've got the other one. It's mine. How did we become Siamese twins? Well, there was a.

[Brady Bogan]

Something dysfunctional. Double vision.

[John Holmberg]

Incorrect. Solidamide. Circle gets the square. A question for the both of you here. Sigmund Freud had a hat collection numbering in the 200s. True or false? Sigmund Freud had a hat collection numbering in the 200. Yes. 200 hats. 200.

[Brady Bogan]

He only had one head, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She didn't wear it all at once, though. We could like, 50 at a time, Dude. I'd say it's kind of weird being a Siamese twin. There's not a whole lot else to do with us.

[Brady Bogan]

Just a lot of looking at each other, hoping where the other one talks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the other one gets a thing in there. I'd say that's probably true. False. Oh.

[Dave Draiman]

Oh, true.

[John Holmberg]

We'll go with true first.

[Brady Bogan]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

True. Do you agree or disagree, Stephanie? With true.

[Kim Congdon]

Going to agree.

[Brady Bogan]

Incorrect.

[John Holmberg]

It's incorrect. Incorrect. What is going on here, man? All right, all right. Now, Tommy, you can get the win here with oj. Yes. There it is. All right, let's. Let's put this on with misery time. Let's win this thing. All right. Sorry about that, lesbian softball girl, but I don't have time. What color is your hair? I just have a quick question. Question. But what. What color is your hair?

[Kim Congdon]

Not blonde.

[John Holmberg]

Not blonde. You know, my ex wife had blonde hair. I liked her better as a redhead, so I turned her into one. I just turned it in, like Ronald McDonald. Red, too. She had. It was pretty red. All right, go ahead. All right. O.J. valentine's Day. All right. Valentine's dates back to the 6th century BCE as a celebration involving a group of naked priests. True or false? Valentine's Day. Now, there's a word some people add to like people. Threats. People say Valentine's Day blank. What is it? Massacre. Yeah, that's exactly the word. That's what it is. The Valentine's Day massacre. I would have to say wow. Back to 6th century. I'm not a religious man. Okay, so I'll probably say that that's true. Priests probably had. They were Naked priests. That's what it says. Were the boys nearby or were the pen. That's implied, right? That's implied. Yeah. Okay, I'll say that's true. I'll go ahead and agree with that. Okay, you're saying and true. Tommy, do you agree or disagree with true here? All right, I'll. I'll agree. There you go.

[Brady Bogan]

You did it.

[John Holmberg]

Nice job, Tommy. Excellent work. All right, Tommy, hold on.

[Brady Bogan]

Is it my turn?

[John Holmberg]

Nobody told us today, Tracy. Oh, that's crazy. Why do we were even here? I woke up for this 50 50th anniversary anniversary and both of us got stuck on Tracy Morgan. There's been thousands of characters in either. We came, we saw, we kicked some ass. And a little Bill Murray. Yeah. Can't you think of anything else? Some reason I can't. That's all I could think. That was yours. Did you watch Fallon?

[Brady Bogan]

You've done your mat.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my gosh. Oh. Oh, my God. Such a good idea. How do we know that we're doing so hilarious. Okay, Corey, what have I done? Should have written a lot time ago. Happy 50th. Happy 50th time. Do you remember any of your time on the stage? Oh, yeah. I don't remember any of it. I don't remember anything because it was an alcoholic. So good. All right, that's enough of us. That's it. Frank, is March 9th at Tempe Improv. Yes. And get tickets at 10:00pm prev.com. anything else? You got nothing else and no. I'll be back four more times before. Okay. Afterward, I'm concerned. I'm gonna start coming in afterward. Keep.

[Brady Bogan]

Just to.

[John Holmberg]

Just to be here. Put up other dates. Oh, you're just gonna keep doing things.

[Brady Bogan]

Right around the corner.

[John Holmberg]

It hit me hard when you said I didn't come around here when I need anything. It's true. And I used to do that a lot. Yeah. And I just realized that that's been hurting in our relationship. Yeah. And I want to. I want to revive it. I want to bring it back. I don't know. Maybe. Maybe absence makes the heart grow fonder. It didn't. No. Me neither. I was feeling pretty good. Let's take a van trip together. We should. We should Petito. Petito and caliento. Petitiendo. We can do that. I'll play the part of Brian laundry because I already have the hair. Yeah. And you can be the adorable young girl who I slaughter. That's it. We're done. You've got girls basketball. Tonight is baseball, asu Baseball. Girls. Baseball. No, men. What do you do there? Pitch? No, we just. We carry the game. Oh, you. Oh. Oh. Ah. And the do. Yes, on the doctor. I forgot you had other jobs. Yeah, I don't show for 30 minutes a week. Oh, ouch. I got more stuff. Oh, no, I thought he was talking about you. I'm fine. I'm fine. Whenever. Whenever you can, if you could. When you come at me, I actually enjoy it. I actually think it's like it takes so long for him to actually get to. No, it's not that. It's just. I like watching Domino's fall. It's fun. No, I just like to see you to take the initiative and power through. Yeah, it's a metaphor. Ever. It's nice. That was beautiful. Nobody else has anything going. Oh, yeah. We're going to Action Ride Shop tomorrow over off of Hawes. Well, maybe I'll be there. Well, Power and McDowell, but right by the Hawes Trail. What's that? Maybe I'll be there. Yeah, Frank's coming with us. All right. Frank will ride a mountain bike 11 to one trip.

[Brady Bogan]

Will come in with me.

[John Holmberg]

It'll be like, yeah, these bikes are hard to ride. When he came in the last time, when I went with you guys, that was really nice of you. He gets ran. Yeah. He stood in his office the other day, I was leaving, and I walked down the stairs right across from his office, and I hear John. And I turned around, I swear to God. He was standing in the room, middle of it like Hannibal Lecter. When Jodie Foster first sees him, his head's down. Can we talk? I'm like, sure. Good. And it was about nothing. He just stand in the middle of the room. John, you know how you and Frank talk about missing each other and don't. When I don't see you, I miss you. All right, we're done. Larry's coming up next. That's it. Thank you, Frank. Thank you. To David Draiman this morning. My God, that was a good day. And who was the other? Kim Kongdon was here. Kardashian. She was great. And Kim Kardashian joined us real early. A lot of people miss that. Filthy. Just filthy horror mouth. It's terrible. It's 10:12. We're done. Have yourselves a great weekend. We'll see you Monday right here in the morning Sickness. Arizona's most powerful, powerful radio station.