02-21-25 - Guad Squares - w/Frank Caliendo - OJ - SNL 50th - Trump - Morgan Freeman - Siamese Twin Brady - Mad Dog And Stephen A - Nic Cage

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: February 21, 2025 Guest: Frank Caliendo Host: Dick Toledo Release Date: February 21, 2025

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Introduction and Show Setup

Holmberg's Morning Sickness kicked off its February 21, 2025 episode with hosts Dick Toledo and guest Frank Caliendo diving straight into the heart of the show: the Guad Squares game. The hosts maintained their signature blend of humor and banter, setting the stage for an engaging and entertaining morning radio experience.

Special Guest: Frank Caliendo

Frank Caliendo brought his unique comedic flair to the show, transforming the Guad Squares into Caliendo Squares for his appearance. Frank promoted his upcoming show at the Tempe Improv, showcasing his improvisational skills and playful interactions with Dick Toledo.

Frank Caliendo [00:33]: “We're not asking for you. We want you to just create new art. I like the new introspective glasses version of you.”

Frank's humor shone through as he joked about his vision and their interactions, providing a lighthearted atmosphere that kept listeners entertained.

The Guad Squares Game

The centerpiece of the episode was the Guad Squares game, featuring themed squares such as O.J., SNL 50th, Trump, Morgan Freeman, Siamese Twin Brady, Mad Dog and Stephen A, and Nicolas Cage. Each square prompted humorous discussions and insightful commentary from the hosts.

1. O.J. Square

Frank Caliendo impersonated O.J., providing a satirical take on his persona and recent documentaries.

Frank Caliendo [04:03]: “When I saw that blonde white woman, I said, she's not gonna make it... Brian did a fairly poor job of covering his tracks. So I'd say I'd give that about a 3 out of 10.”

Frank criticized the portrayal of O.J. in documentaries, blending humor with a critical perspective.

2. SNL 50th Anniversary Square

The hosts celebrated the 50th anniversary of Saturday Night Live, reminiscing about past sketches and memorable moments.

Frank Caliendo [05:06]: “I think that would be a great movie. Instead of Jim Carrey with him, I think I should do it. And you could play my couch.”

Frank’s playful suggestions highlighted his appreciation for classic comedy while showcasing his improvisational talents.

3. Trump Square

A spirited discussion unfolded around former President Trump, with Frank expressing his views humorously.

Frank Caliendo [06:21]: “You're giving off a little bit of an I'm miserable vibe.”

The banter between Dick and Frank provided a comedic yet thoughtful exploration of Trump’s influence and presence.

4. Morgan Freeman Square

Morgan Freeman’s square brought in a mix of humor and admiration for the iconic actor.

Frank Caliendo [07:53]: “He was standing in the room, middle of it like Hannibal Lecter.”

The playful comparison added a humorous twist to the conversation about Freeman’s persona.

5. Siamese Twin Brady Square

Introducing the Siamese Twin Brady characters, Frank and Brady engaged in amusing dialogues about their unique situation.

Frank Caliendo [09:27]: “Hi, I'm Brady. And I'm Brady. We're Siamese twins. Connected at the belly button. That's gross.”

Their interactions provided a comedic look at fictional Siamese twins, enhancing the show's humor.

6. Mad Dog and Stephen A Square

The hosts delved into sports commentary with characters Mad Dog and Stephen A, blending sports talk with comedic exchanges.

Frank Caliendo [10:53]: “Mad Dog Ruto. Take it from the angry canine.”

The dynamic between Mad Dog and Stephen A added a layer of sports-themed humor to the show.

7. Nicolas Cage Square

Nicolas Cage’s impersonation brought energy and quirky humor, highlighting Frank’s versatility.

Frank Caliendo [13:59]: “It's Thanksgiving. What's for dinner, Turducken?”

Frank’s Nicolas Cage persona kept the atmosphere lively and entertaining.

Audience Interaction: Stephanie and Tommy

The show featured interactive segments with listeners Stephanie and Tommy, who participated in the Guad Squares game. Their involvement added a personal touch and further engaged the audience.

Frank Caliendo [16:07]: “The invention and first use of eyeglasses dates back to 1526 in what is now Poland. True or false?”

Stephanie and Tommy navigated through true or false questions, showcasing their knowledge and humor alongside the hosts.

Final Thoughts and Show Wrap-Up

As the episode drew to a close, Frank Caliendo and Dick Toledo reflected on the day’s discussions and upcoming events. Frank promoted his continued appearances and upcoming trips, maintaining the show's momentum and leaving listeners eagerly anticipating future episodes.

Frank Caliendo [23:15]: “You should. Happy 50th time.”

Dick Toledo wrapped up the show with reminders about upcoming sports events and a heartfelt goodbyes, ensuring a well-rounded and satisfying conclusion to the episode.

Dick Toledo [24:22]: “Tonight is baseball. ASU baseball.”

Notable Quotes

• Frank Caliendo [04:03]: “I highly recommend my documentary because it's kicking ass. I got away with it.”
• Frank Caliendo [09:27]: “Hi, I'm Brady. And I'm Brady. We're Siamese twins. Connected at the belly button. That's gross.”
• Frank Caliendo [13:59]: “It's Thanksgiving. What's for dinner, Turducken?”
• Frank Caliendo [23:15]: “Happy 50th time.”

Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness successfully blended humor, celebrity impersonations, and interactive segments to create an engaging and entertaining morning show. Frank Caliendo’s dynamic presence and the hosts’ seamless chemistry provided listeners with a memorable start to their day, reinforcing the show's reputation as Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show.

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Tune in to Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM or visit www.98kupd.com for more updates and episodes.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[Frank Caliendo]

First deposit required.

[Dick Toledo]

Bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next- step or text NEXT STEP to you.

[Frank Caliendo]

Thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Can't believe how fast today has gone. Frank Caliendo is here. He is helping us out with the Guadalupe Squares. They become the Caliendo Squares when he's here. And it's because he's got a show on March 8th. Is that what you said? 9th. March 9th. Right, sorry. March 9th at the Tempe Improv. It's on sale. It's a make good for all the folks that couldn't see all those sold out shows that he did. I don't know if I can replicate such greatness, but I'm going to try. We're not asking for you. We want you to just create new art. I like the new introspective glasses version of you. They're just so. Because I can't see, everything looks like they're double now. That's at the age I'm at where you've doubled vision. Double vision. It's twice as good. And look at Brady and tell me what you see. Oh, he is handsome. Both of them. Both Siamese Brady. Oh my. I'm Ching. And I'm Chong. And we're Siamese Brady. Okay, that's the new center square. No, Cheech and Ch. Not Cheech and Cha. No, changing. Changing Brady the Siamese Center. Sorry, that's a new one. We gave one away. It's time now. Thriller's here as well. It's good to see. Although I'm worried about Thriller. You're giving off a little bit of a I'm miserable vibe.

[Dick Toledo]

No, I just been a little. A little busy this week. Just been tired.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. See, I'm worried about you.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Are you guys feeling that too? Yeah. But while you're. While I'm here, could you not act that way?

[Dick Toledo]

You know, that is rude.

[Frank Caliendo]

I feel Like I'm at home. Yeah, you fake it. Like if Frank has a bad day, he can't go on stage. You go, here's a guy who doesn't like being on stage. Here's a guy on Dramamine.

[Dick Toledo]

Everyone who doesn't like me, please raise your hands.

[Frank Caliendo]

I don't know. I don't know if I want to be here anymore. I think I want to go home. All right, Time to take a nap. I don't care if I'm out of order, period. I'm out of ideas. I'm out of idea. I'm out of order. I'm out of idea.

[Dick Toledo]

You do something funny.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, exactly. So, Corey, step it up, for Christ's sake.

[Dick Toledo]

All right, all right.

[Frank Caliendo]

Jesus. Yeah. It's time for your Guadalupe Squares. Here he is, Corey Thriller Walsh. Don't do voices, though.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm messing with you.

[Frank Caliendo]

Take it from the top, left square.

[Dick Toledo]

We start with O.J.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, O.J. hey, Twitter world. I got my own open door down here from hell. Hey. Just wanted to kick in. Say, hey there. Hey, Frank, how are you? Great. That's good to see you, man. I came in. I was. Yeah, the juice is loose. Look out now. All right, I'm just here to review. My new job is to review Netflix documentaries, and the new one I like is Gabby Petito. That has turned out to be quite a documentary. Now let's recap. Bitch piss man off. Bitch goes missing. Bitch dies. I mean, pretty much it's the old story. They used to say boy meets girl. Pretty simple. Pretty simple philosophy. Like, you know, it was a kind of a cookie cutter thing. I mean, when I saw that blonde white woman, I said, she's not gonna make it. I mean, eventually they all go, but I have to. On a scale of 1 to 10, Brian did a fairly poor job of covering his tracks. So I'd say I'd give that about a 3 out of 10 as far as, like, learning anything if you're married to a white blonde woman. So Petito is a 3 out of 10. I highly recommend my documentary because it's kicking ass. I got away with it. Oh, it's still doing great. Number four on Netflix right now, and my family's making a fortune off of that. Oh, yeah, one last thing, you goldmans. All right.

[Dick Toledo]

Just saying, he's always happy to throw his two cents in. All right, now, huh?

[Frank Caliendo]

Don't interrupt him. Go.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay, top, middle Square, we got SNL, 50th, couple of friends here, over 50 years joining us.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, that's crazy.

[Dick Toledo]

OJ's in the square next to me.

[Frank Caliendo]

And I just got played by Eddie Murphy. Who thought that would happen? I did. Because I'm psychic.

[Dick Toledo]

Is that part of the lawsuit? You have the ability now. If they hit you, I can't look.

[Frank Caliendo]

At your face or hear that coming out of you. That was crazy. You still eating that four cheese lasagna? I would not do any less than three cheeses. Aguba de do. And you began Google saving the square. Because I ran out of things to say. 50 years and nobody remembers anybody but us. Goober Dee boop. How do you do that? Sound like Bam Bam from the Flintstones. How many cheeses do you think he got on his pizza? Less than the lasagna.

[Dick Toledo]

Let's hope you two never actually collab.

[Frank Caliendo]

I think that would be a great movie. Instead of Jim Carrey with him, I think I should do it. And you could play my couch. You believe. You didn't believe that? Tracy Morgan is my couch. And I'm sick of your crap. See what I did there? I was right. Oh, he made it rhyme. No. I gotta talk more to OJ we went golfing together once. I remember you. That's in Tracy Morgan. I asked him to play me in the movie, but it did not go well. I think that would have been good. I did it. His audition. He actually killed someone. It was very realistic. He's a. He's a method actor. When I grew up, OJ Would have been a guardian angel. It was tough there.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, okay. Oh, we're happy to have.

[Frank Caliendo]

Tracy Morgan as a guardian angel. Yes. I'm here to help. We're going to sneak into some stuff. Guardian angel. Quiet. What? I just got another angel pregnant. Sorry. Go ahead.

[Dick Toledo]

Top right.

[Frank Caliendo]

You see that angel on the top of the tree?

[Dick Toledo]

I got her pregnant on every single tree.

[Frank Caliendo]

Every single tree. That's a lot of angels. It's a Christmas miracle. I've been up on top of your tree humping your angel. Charlie's Angel. All right, go ahead.

[Dick Toledo]

All right. Top right square. You know who it is? President Trump.

[Frank Caliendo]

We're in the right square now. We're all the way to the right square doing a lot of great things. That's right. Is a great square. We're in it. And here's what's going to happen, killer. We're going to take a chainsaw to the rest of these squares. We're going to. Doge is going to take care of them. Elan. Elan. The Doge father. Let's be honest. A lot of these squares, a lot of Them not as good as ours and not necessary. Only need like 2.1square. I like the Brady square. Brady fun. He does a great job. Great job. He does a great job. Look at him. I'm seeing double of him right now because of the glasses. And you know what? Not the secret square. That's the first one I want. Dashed dojit. But he does very good riddles. He's a great riddle. The only guy that I would use over the riddler as a great guy who does riddles.

[Dick Toledo]

How are you gonna. How are you gonna phrase that?

[Frank Caliendo]

Maybe we should change. Let's dose ourselves. There was no end to that sentence. That sentence was going to go on and on like government spending. And we were going to fix it. We're going to fix it. Do it. Doge it, Corey, dodge.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, regardless, we're gonna dodge you and.

[Frank Caliendo]

We'Re gonna put you in. We're gonna cut off one of his legs. He doesn't need it. It's barely working. Doge it. And we're gonna put you in a line and you're gonna bob in the ocean.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, is that a threat?

[Frank Caliendo]

No, that's a gift.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, you're too kind. Off now to the middle left square. We have Morgan Freeman joining us, and.

[Frank Caliendo]

They were waiting for Rich Page to play the music. He's texting. He. Evidently Richard has somebody coming over to help him out with his garage door in a couple of minutes. Didn't have time to finish up the show. Sometimes a man needs to pay attention to his job. And sometimes he needs to restock cat food and to make that Amazon order before 10 o'clock or he'd have had to spend an extra 350. If you wanted to come today, you need to get it in now. And you've got to spend more than 29.99. So Rich was doubling up on the price. He misunderstood the text from his wife at home that said, we need something, and he ordered some Meow Mix, not realizing he's probably forwarding some money down to Tucson to his son, who hasn't worked a day in his life. But that's all right. He had one job to do. One job. Touch the spaceball. And he was seven seconds late. We had to remind him.

[Dick Toledo]

You counted.

[Frank Caliendo]

I count very quickly, Cory. I'm a man of many talents. And one of them was keeping an eye on how long it takes Toledo to touch a space bar. I miss my friend Richard.

[Dick Toledo]

Where'd he go?

[Frank Caliendo]

Nobody knows. Oh, yeah, they're right. Nobody. Nobody knows. Tanejo, are you ready? Rich, you can hit the button again. We're done. There you go.

[Dick Toledo]

Thank you again. All right, now we have. Over to the middle square, we have Siamese. Brady.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hi.

[Dick Toledo]

We're doing this.

[Frank Caliendo]

I am Siamese, if you please. Hi, I'm Brady. And I'm Brady. We're Siamese twins. Connected at the belly button. That's gross.

[Dick Toledo]

So is that two stomachs or one bigger stomach?

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, it doesn't matter. You know what? It's the one stomach that eats like two. I'll tell you that. Like a cow. Did you guys know this cows have 12 stomachs? I didn't know that. Lucky. Might be. Wish I was a cow. There's still time. I just stay at home, play with my teats all day. Someday I could become a burger. Oh, God, I would eat myself. I ball up and eat myself. You beat me to it. That's why Siamese twin, you're better be careful because I might eat my trout out on myself. It's happened before. I wonder what I taste like.

[Dick Toledo]

Are you both the meat?

[Frank Caliendo]

We're in the middle of something. Okay, we've got. We eat like pigs, the two of us. And then we have one butthole. You should hear the farts. It's unbelievable. Two farts. Better than one. Three of these. Brady has spoken. Why are you looking at me like Bugs Bunny looked at one of those carrots?

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, before you get a full meal going on here.

[Frank Caliendo]

Go ahead.

[Dick Toledo]

Hopping on now to the middle ranked square. We have Mad Dog and Stephen A.

[Frank Caliendo]

Here. I understand where we're coming from with some of these things. Mad Dog, how come you've been so quiet so far? I don't know what's going on. I just know baseball just started and I'm very excited. Nobody cares about baseball. Everybody loves baseball. First take. No, second take. Third take. I'm the first take. I've been here forever. I started. I was here when it was called Co Pizza Nobody. You were good. God. And then Brady ate the show and it had to stop. I'll tell you right now how many cheeses were on that pizza. Los Angeles Dodgers are the best team that's ever lived. Ah, please. The greatest team that's ever played the game. And it's gonna win. They're gonna win 161 games. This only to lose one time. Nobody one time in this because Dodger Stadium burned down. And nobody even has talked about that yet. Nobody understands what's Stephen A. Smith, you and I are an odd couple. We are very odd couple. But I love you. I understand and we should traverse the earth together in a buddy picture in some sort of van or something. Like Gabby Petito and his boyfriend. Who would make it.

[Dick Toledo]

What's the over under on?

[Frank Caliendo]

I don't know which one would kill first. I would probably say Stephen A. That's not racist. I was just like, why is that?

[Dick Toledo]

We got real quiet.

[Frank Caliendo]

Dang, he's intimidating compared to me. Mad Dog Ruto. Take it from the angry canine. That's right. Do you know who I am? Corey?

[Dick Toledo]

I've seen you.

[Frank Caliendo]

Of course you have.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Because I met Dog Ruto. Everybody's seen me. Is that not true? Is that the answer to the question? Is that not true? It's very true. You're going up on true, true. It sounds like a question and an exclamation at the same time. Both unbelievable. Question, part question. That's exactly what it is. Which is a word I've actually used. How is it that we both make $20 million a year at ESPN when neither of us ever makes any sense and underpaid when you become president. I wouldn't be a vice president.

[Dick Toledo]

Or the speeches.

[Frank Caliendo]

Myth and Mad Dog. Sounds like a drink your people would love. I knew Brett would like that. I had to fire up the base. He gone.

[Dick Toledo]

All right, before we go, how about.

[Frank Caliendo]

A little Smith and Mad Dog? Inner cities sounds good to me. By the way, Smith and Mad Dog was a second base in shortstop combination for the New York Giant of 1911. Is that true? True. True. Very not. Holmberg's morning sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's sickness.

[Dick Toledo]

All right, now, bottomless square. Brady secret square. Give us a hint.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hello. Hello. I would have been 293 years old today. I was the first president of the United States. Wow. Tough one. Okay, thank you.

[Dick Toledo]

We'll figure it out.

[Frank Caliendo]

Had to give the birthday out first.

[Dick Toledo]

All right, let's hop on now.

[Frank Caliendo]

Van, who was first?

[Dick Toledo]

Geez.

[Frank Caliendo]

Go ahead.

[Dick Toledo]

Square.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, I don't know who was first, but I'm going to be next. Put him in another square. He doesn't care. Just keep going.

[Dick Toledo]

Bottom of the square. Now we have Nicolas Cage join. I was not saying first, baby girl.

[Frank Caliendo]

Just. Yeah, I wasn't sure whose turn it was. I have to know. What is it gonna sound like when I'm John Madden on the big screen? Baby girl. Boom. Right in the snow locker. We're going to steal the other team's playbook. Yeah. We're gonna make a video game out of it. And I'm gonna be on there. Hey, Pat. Base is the place Ace, is the place for the helpful hardware man. Yeah. Hey, my feet itch. Boom. Tough acting, Tenactin. I've done the research. It's Thanksgiving. What's for dinner, Turducken? What is it? Stuff a chicken into a duck into a turkey. That sounds delicious, baby girl. This fall Madden cage man cage match. All men's fight to the death. Yeah. I'm going to Oakland.

[Dick Toledo]

Of your own volition.

[Frank Caliendo]

Football myself to death. Leaving Oakland. That's going to be a good one. I like that. Where's Cheryl Crow? Write a song.

[Dick Toledo]

All right, Albanon. Now to the bottom right square, our Lord and Savior.

[Frank Caliendo]

Trip. That guy looks like he got hit by a freak. Tr. Yeah. I can't wait for Nicolas Cage as John Mann. Too bad. Too bad Frank didn't get the job.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm surprised he didn't.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, we all are. In fact, I auditioned for it.

[Dick Toledo]

Really?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Yeah, why not? Hey, Kenny Stabler. Go win this game. Yeah. And they said you're perfect. Too perfect. And they gave it to Nicholas. Cool. Boom. Whack. Here's a guy who doesn't want the job. Yeah. All right, let's go to the floor.

[Dick Toledo]

What do we have today?

[Frank Caliendo]

We got Stephanie and Tommy. Stephanie, are you there? Yeah. Tommy, are you there? Yes, I am. All right, Stephanie, you're a girl. Pick a square. Go. Trip read.

[Dick Toledo]

Trip read. All righty.

[Frank Caliendo]

Right off the bat. Hi, Stephanie. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Big plans this weekend? Just a softball tournament. Ooh, a lesbian. Oh, yeah. Are you a second baseman now? I pitch. You're a pitcher. Oh, you're the big one. Is it a big. What do they call it? The big 2025 softball? Clam off. Yeah. Who's your favorite co. Teammate? Don't have one. You don't? You just recently broke up with the first baseman or something? Yeah, something like that. What do you win at the end? Just a big giant taco. Something like that. Yeah. Yeah. I'm coming to this game. And I won't be the only one. Nope.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, what we got you? I got a question for you real fast. You're welcome. The invention and first use of eyeglasses dates back to 1526 in what is now Poland. True or false?

[Frank Caliendo]

I don't know. I have perfect 2020 vision.

[Dick Toledo]

Even at your age?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yes. That was rude. I'll say. True. Why not Poland? Polish people probably invented glasses.

[Dick Toledo]

All right, you're saying true now. Stephanie, do you agree or disagree with true?

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm gonna have to go with Our Lord and Savior.

[Dick Toledo]

That did not pan out. Actually, he was in. Correcto. Tommy gets that square. Circle's all set. Now off to Tommy himself to make your selection.

[Frank Caliendo]

Go, Nicholas Cage.

[Dick Toledo]

All right, Nicholas Cage.

[Frank Caliendo]

Ready to go Boom.

[Dick Toledo]

Right up.

[Frank Caliendo]

Good pick. Tommy. Tommy, can you hear me? All right, good. Yes, I can go. Here we go. All right, so go late.

[Dick Toledo]

Potatoes originated in Chile and not Ireland as commonly believed. Believed. Oh, okay.

[Frank Caliendo]

I like that he said chile. Chile. Chile.

[Dick Toledo]

I think that's right.

[Frank Caliendo]

Using el accento muchos much's gracias. I had a truffle pig for a while.

[Dick Toledo]

That was a good movie.

[Frank Caliendo]

I agree. Truffle. What was the best part of it?

[Dick Toledo]

The pig.

[Frank Caliendo]

Me. Incorrect. Circle gets a square. I played myself. Did well. I did. I played me. Owning a truffle pig. It's like, what do I do with this? And it would bring me truffles. I'm like, that is what I do.

[Dick Toledo]

So are you saying true or false? Potato.

[Frank Caliendo]

True. True. True. Truffle pegs, Find them.

[Dick Toledo]

You're saying true. Tommy, do you agree or disagree with true?

[Frank Caliendo]

No, I disagree.

[Dick Toledo]

That's incorrect. Then it's true.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's true.

[Dick Toledo]

X gets that square.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's true. And then I had one, A girl who could find truffle butter. Look it up on the Internet. Truffles. Tommy knows what it is. He laughed. He gets it. Yeah, truffles. Got trenches.

[Dick Toledo]

Back to Stephanie here.

[Frank Caliendo]

Make your choice Siamese Brady, please. Okay, Siamese Brady, if you please. That's not what you're supposed to call us. We're conjunctivitis twins. I think is what they do now. Oh.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, no.

[Frank Caliendo]

And the bad thing is that Brady wants to be a country music singer, and I want to be a comedian. And she's gay, so she likes to dabble in the lady bitch, just like you do. This one plays softball, and I just have my arms crossed the whole game. Not one arm. I only cross one because you've got the other one. It's mine. How did we become Siamese twins? Well, there was a. Something dysfunctional. Double vision. Incorrect. Thalinamide. Oh. Circle gets the square.

[Dick Toledo]

A question for the both of you here. Sigmund Freud had a hat collection numbering in the 200s. True or false?

[Frank Caliendo]

Sigmund Freud had a hat collection numbering in the. 200.

[Dick Toledo]

Yes.

[Frank Caliendo]

200 hats. 200. He only had one head, right?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

She didn't wear it all at once, though. We could, like, 50 at a time, I'd say. Kind of weird being a Siamese twin. There's not a whole lot else to do with this. Just a lot of looking at each other, hoping where the other one talks. Yeah. The other one gets a thing in there. I'd say that's probably true. False.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh.

[Frank Caliendo]

True. We'll go with true.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay, true. Do you agree or disagree, Stephanie? With true.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm gonna agree.

[Dick Toledo]

Incorrect.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's incorrect.

[Dick Toledo]

Incorrect. What is going on here, man?

[Frank Caliendo]

All right, all right.

[Dick Toledo]

Now, Tommy, you can get the win here with OJ.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yes. Let's put this out of a misery time. Let's win this thing. All right. Sorry about that, lesbian softball girl, but I don't have time. What color is your hair? I just have a quick question, but what. What color is your hair? Not blonde. Not blonde. You know, my ex wife had blonde hair. I liked her better as a redhead, so I turned her into one like Ronald McDonald. Red, too. Yeah, that was pretty red. All right, go ahead. All right.

[Dick Toledo]

O.J.

[Frank Caliendo]

Valentine'S Day. All right.

[Dick Toledo]

Valentine's dates back to the 6th century BCE as a celebration involving a group of naked priests. True or false?

[Frank Caliendo]

Valentine's Day. Now, there's a word some people add to like be Brett's people say Valentine's Day. Blank. What is it? Massacre. Massacre. Yeah, that's exactly the word. That's what it is. The Valentine's Day Massacre. I would have to say. Wow, that's a six inches. I'm not a religious man. Okay, so I'll probably say that that's true. Priests probably had. They were naked priests.

[Dick Toledo]

That's what it says.

[Frank Caliendo]

Were there boys nearby or were there?

[Dick Toledo]

It's implied, right?

[Frank Caliendo]

That's implied. Yeah. Okay, I'll say that's true. I'll go ahead and agree with that.

[Dick Toledo]

Okay, you're saying true, Tommy, do you agree or disagree with true here?

[Frank Caliendo]

All right, I'll agree.

[Dick Toledo]

There you go.

[Frank Caliendo]

He did it. Nice job, Tommy. Excellent work. All right, Tommy, hold on. Is it my turn? Nobody told us today, Tracy. Oh, that's crazy. Why do we were even here? I woke up for this 50th, 50th anniversary and both of us got stuck on Tracy Morgan. There's been thousands of characters in either. We came, we saw, we kicked some ass. And a little Bill Murray. Yeah. Can't you think of anything else? Some reason I can't. That's all I could think of.

[Dick Toledo]

Did you watch it, Fallon?

[Frank Caliendo]

You've done your map. Oh, my gosh. Oh, it's so. Oh, my God. I didn't think of that. It's a good idea. How do we know that we're doing oh, so Hilarious. So great. So great. This is a great. This is a great idea. Cory. What have I done?

[Dick Toledo]

What have I done?

[Frank Caliendo]

Should have written a long time ago. You should. Happy 50th time.

[Dick Toledo]

Do you remember any of your time on the sea?

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, yeah. I don't remember any of it. I don't know anything. Because it was an alcoholic. So good. All right, that's enough of us. That's it. Frank, is March 9th at Tempe Improv. Yes. And get tickets@tempe improv.com. anything else? You got nothing else. And no. I'll be back four more times before. Okay. And like five or six afterward. I'm concerned. I'm gonna start coming in afterward. Keep. Just to. Just to be here, put up other dates. Oh, you're just gonna keep doing things right around the corner? It hit me hard when you said I didn't come around here when I need anything. It's true. And I used to do that a lot. Yeah. And I just realized that that's been hurting in our relationship. Yeah. And I want to. I want to revive it. I want to bring it back. I don't know. Maybe absence makes the heart grow fonder. It didn't. No. Me neither. I was feeling pretty good. Let's take a van trip together. We should. We should petito. Petito and caliento. Petitiendo. We can do that. I'll play the part of Brian Laundry. Because I already have the hair. Yeah. And you can be the adorable young girl who I slaughter. That's it. We're done. You've got girls basketball.

[Dick Toledo]

Tonight is baseball. ASU baseball.

[Frank Caliendo]

Girls baseball.

[Dick Toledo]

No men.

[Frank Caliendo]

What do you do there? Pitch?

[Dick Toledo]

No, we just. We carry the game.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, you.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh. Ah. And the dwyce. Yes. On the Doyce. I forgot you had other jobs.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, I don't show for 30 minutes a week.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh. Ouch.

[Dick Toledo]

I got more stuff.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, no. I thought he was talking about you. I'm fine. I'm fine.

[Dick Toledo]

Whenever.

[Frank Caliendo]

Whenever you can. If you can. When you come at me, I actually enjoy it. I actually think it's, like. Because it takes so long for him to actually get to. No, it's not that. It's just.

[Dick Toledo]

I like watching Domino's fall. It's fun.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, I just like to see you take the initiative and power through. Yeah. It's a metaphor. Ever. It's nice. That was beautiful. Nobody else has anything going. We do. Oh. Yeah. We're going to Action Ride Shop tomorrow over off of Hawes. Maybe. I'll be there. Well, Power and McDowell, but right by the Hawes Trail. What's that? Maybe I'll be there. Yeah, Frank's coming with us. All right. Will ride a mountain bike 11 to one trip. Will come in with me. He'll be like, yeah, these bikes are hard to ride. When he came in the last time, when I went with you guys, that was really nice of you. He gets rid. Yeah. He stood in his office the other day. I was leaving, and I walked down the stairs right across from his office, and I hear John. And I turned around. I swear to God. He was standing in the room, middle of it like Hannibal Lecter. When Jody Foster first sees him, his head's down. Can we talk? I'm like, sure. Good. And it was about nothing. He'd just stand in the middle of the room. John, you know how you and Frank talk about missing each other and don't. When I don't see you, I miss you. All right, let's get out here. We're done. Larry's coming up next. That's it. Thank you, Frank. Thank you. To David Draiman this morning. My God, that was a good day. And who was the other? Kim Kongdong was here. Kardashian. She was great. And Kim Kardashian joined us real early. A lot of people missed that. Filthy. Just filthy whore mouth. It's terrible. It's 10:12. We're done. Have yourselves a great weekend. We'll see you Monday right here in the Morning Sickness. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.