02-21-25 - Kim Congdon - Desert Ridge Improv - In Studio - UNCENSORED

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: February 21, 2025 - Kim Congdon at Desert Ridge Improv (Uncensored)

Introduction

In this lively episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD, host John Holmberg welcomes comedian Kim Congdon to the Desert Ridge Improv studio. The segment dives deep into Kim's personal experiences, fears, family dynamics, and her journey in comedy, all delivered with the show's signature blend of humor and candidness.

Fear of Death and Afterlife

Kim opens up about her profound fear of death and her desire to prolong her life to be with her loved ones. She shares her aspiration to live until the age of 122 to ensure she can spend her final moments surrounded by her boyfriend.

• Kim Congdon (01:02): "I have a huge fear of death... I would love to die as late as possible. Like around 122."
• Host (02:17): "They might be. There might be only one option. That's the scarier part."

Their conversation explores differing views on the afterlife, with Kim expressing skepticism about the commonly held belief that dying is peaceful.

• Kim Congdon (02:10): "Have you ever seen when people say that, oh, dying's peaceful. Have you ever seen someone dying? They look like they're going into the realms of hell."

Family Background and Comedy

Kim delves into her tumultuous family life, drawing parallels to the characters from the TV show Shameless. She describes her parents as narcissistic and chaotic, which heavily influenced her comedic style.

• Kim Congdon (11:02): "My dad is Frank Gallagher to the T. If Frank Gallagher was a commercial fisherman, it would be my dad."
• Host (13:09): "What got you into comedy? Your parents probably again?"

She recounts anecdotes about her father's antics, such as indebting producers by taking them to bars and demanding payment for interviews, highlighting the chaotic environment she grew up in.

Relationship and Boyfriend

The discussion shifts to Kim's relationship, where she humorously addresses societal norms and personal boundaries. She expresses concerns about her boyfriend's habits and the dynamics of their relationship.

• Kim Congdon (15:05): "I like a little dmt."
• Host (15:31): "No, I'll throw a flincher at."

Kim also touches on cultural aspects related to her Puerto Rican heritage and how it plays into her relationship dynamics.

• Kim Congdon (15:27): "He likes your butt, so you should be comfortable with that."

Drug Use and Experiences

Kim openly discusses her experiences with various substances, including marijuana, mushrooms, acid, and DMT. She shares a vivid account of a DMT experience that left a lasting impression on her.

• Kim Congdon (07:24): "I like a little dmt... It was insane."
• Kim Congdon (08:50): "So I had the image of everything I've ever seen on a platter... It was like a spinning platter of my memories."

Her story highlights the intense and sometimes unsettling nature of her psychedelic experiences, adding depth to her candid personality.

Conclusion

As the episode wraps up, Kim humorously addresses the boundaries of acceptable behavior in relationships and reflects on her comedic journey influenced by her unconventional upbringing.

• Kim Congdon (19:05): "You've lost your mind. Come back to reality."
• Host (19:11): "Pleasure to meet you."

Kim Congdon's appearance on Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers listeners an unfiltered glimpse into her life, blending humor with raw honesty. Her stories about fear, family, relationships, and personal experiences provide a compelling narrative that resonates with many, showcasing her unique voice in the world of comedy.

Notable Quotes

• Kim Congdon (01:02): "I have a huge fear of death... I would love to die as late as possible. Like around 122."
• Kim Congdon (11:02): "My dad is Frank Gallagher to the T. If Frank Gallagher was a commercial fisherman, it would be my dad."
• Kim Congdon (07:24): "I like a little dmt... It was insane."
• Kim Congdon (19:05): "You've lost your mind. Come back to reality."

Tune In

Don’t miss out on more candid conversations and entertaining segments. Tune in to Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM or visit www.98kupd.com for more updates.

Transcript

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[Kim Congdon]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you?

[Unknown Host 1]

We got some. This has just gotten weirder and weirder, but Kim Congan's here.

[Kim Congdon]

One from just we.

[Unknown Host 1]

Just the thing we've never seen before. We're going to show you Kim Congan's at desert Ridge Improv. Desert ridgeimprov.com it's tonight and tomorrow.

[Kim Congdon]

Hell yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

How are you?

[Kim Congdon]

I'm great. How are you?

[Unknown Host 1]

We've been talking off there a little bit and you've told us of your plans.

[Kim Congdon]

Oh, yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

Age. You have goals.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. Well, in the car here, I was buying flowers for a funeral. My.

[Unknown Host 1]

Is that true?

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. My boyfriend's grandfather just passed away. They know. It's okay. And this is the point is he was like in his 90s. He lived an entire life. He had a whole family. And I was like, that's so beautiful. And now I have a different plan.

[Unknown Host 1]

Yeah. Your plan is unique. Would you like to share it with the people?

[Kim Congdon]

Okay. I have a huge fear of death.

[Unknown Host 1]

Yeah.

[Kim Congdon]

And I really love my boyfriend. And so I would love to die as late as possible. Like around 122.

[Unknown Host 1]

That's too long.

[Kim Congdon]

Surrounded by my loved ones and with my husband inside of me.

[Unknown Host 1]

So every. So how old is he? Older or younger than you?

[Kim Congdon]

Right now he's a year younger than me.

[Unknown Host 1]

But you plan on being with him. So he'll be 121.

[Kim Congdon]

He'll be 121.

[Unknown Host 1]

So he should still be able to get an erection.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. I'm trying to get him to stop smoking cigarettes.

[Unknown Host 1]

Yeah. Because that's going to hinder your plan.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

And why are you afraid of death?

[Kim Congdon]

It's so scary.

[Unknown Host 1]

That is true. That's a good reason.

[Kim Congdon]

It's so scary, dude. I don't know. I don't like not knowing something and, you know, my boyfriend tried to tell me. He's like, it's you, you. He's like, you don't have to be scared of it for a long time. And then the last minute, you just got to be really scared for one second. And I'm like, that does not sound fun.

[Unknown Host 1]

But every day.

[Unknown Host 2]

And you find peace.

[Unknown Host 1]

So you.

[Kim Congdon]

Have you ever seen when people say that, oh, dying's peaceful. Have you ever seen someone dying? They like. Like they don't.

[Unknown Host 1]

You ever heard a death gurgle?

[Kim Congdon]

Yes.

[Unknown Host 1]

They're horrifying. I watch them on the Internet. Like there's nobody. No, nothing peaceful about that. Everyone drowning is pounding on the car window. Nobody's ever going, oh, this is nice. I'm enjoying this.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

Death is not peaceful.

[Kim Congdon]

No.

[Unknown Host 1]

We say that as living. Ask a dead guy, he'll tell you the last few minutes were off.

[Kim Congdon]

Look at their face. They look like they're going into the realms of hell. On the way out.

[Unknown Host 1]

They might be. There might be only one option. That's the scarier part. Do you believe in an afterlife and all that?

[Kim Congdon]

I don't know. I don't know. I wish that I could, like, blindly be super religious.

[Unknown Host 1]

Yeah. I can't do it.

[Unknown Host 2]

I'm not giving up that dream yet.

[Unknown Host 1]

Yeah. See, but I see the problem is with believing in an afterlife is that I think you're going to amp it up a little bit too high.

[Kim Congdon]

Oh, yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

And it might not. It might disappoint.

[Kim Congdon]

Oh, yeah. It sucks.

[Unknown Host 1]

Yeah. And you're like, oh, I had kind of thought we were gonna be walking on clouds and stuff. Then you have to. You find out you have to get a job.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

You know, they make you work and you gotta build more heaven.

[Kim Congdon]

You're always on the edge of coming.

[Unknown Host 1]

What?

[Kim Congdon]

Can you say that?

[Unknown Host 1]

Can I say that coming to heaven. I understood what you said. Yeah. I totally got what you were saying.

[Unknown Host 2]

Part of the second coming.

[Kim Congdon]

Yes.

[Unknown Host 1]

I like that. It is the second coming.

[Kim Congdon]

What's that?

[Unknown Host 1]

Yeah, we can do it multiple times. Well, that's an interesting way to think of heaven, that is. You've been edged for the rest of eternity.

[Kim Congdon]

You're edged for the rest of eternity with fun.

[Unknown Host 1]

But wouldn't you just be bored of that?

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

After a while you're like, just normal.

[Kim Congdon]

That's why I'm always confused when they're like, hell sucks. I'm like, it seems like all the really fun people go there.

[Unknown Host 1]

All the good music, everyone.

[Kim Congdon]

All the good music, all the good.

[Unknown Host 1]

Artists, the people I want to Talk to. Are there like Kennedy, Michael Jackson, Gandhi, Michael Jackson, you know? Yeah. Hitler, Mother Teresa. They're all down there.

[Kim Congdon]

Exactly.

[Unknown Host 1]

And they're the ones that I would want to talk to. Do you want to see a video? Because I have a thing. I think I can change what you want to do to end your life. I think this is instead of just having your boyfriend inside you.

[Kim Congdon]

Try my husband. Don't. Just.

[Unknown Host 1]

I'm sorry.

[Kim Congdon]

Come on. Have some respect.

[Unknown Host 1]

You're not going to. You're not going to just live it out just in case you're going to commit. All right. 122. Imagine this is you and your friend you're going to see in a second. This is a new thing we. We. We've discovered this morning. This is just.

[Kim Congdon]

Wait.

[Unknown Host 1]

Yeah. Hopefully you're. You're not. You can't predict what's going to happen. Pause it in a second.

[Kim Congdon]

All right.

[Unknown Host 1]

What's going to happen next?

[Kim Congdon]

I. She's gonna shit in her bottom.

[Unknown Host 1]

No, you can't say that. Well, you have to be a little less vulgar. I thought she also was going to poop in her bottom as well.

[Kim Congdon]

I didn't know this was a.

[Unknown Host 1]

This is a thing now. Watch.

[Kim Congdon]

G rated show. Watch.

[Unknown Host 1]

Yes. Yes. This is Disney. Watch this. You and your husband could be doing this at 122. Who's that in between?

[Kim Congdon]

Us. Oh.

[Unknown Host 1]

And we're having a good time.

[Unknown Host 2]

I can't believe that's real.

[Kim Congdon]

No. How can you play the sounds but I can't say the P and the A.

[Unknown Host 1]

These A. They're on a roller coaster. All we showed you was a roller coaster video.

[Kim Congdon]

I can't believe I just saw.

[Unknown Host 1]

Yeah, us too.

[Kim Congdon]

One roller coaster. Seatbelt. Going to another roller coaster.

[Unknown Host 1]

Buckled into the wrong belt, right? Yeah. Nothing but net too. Yeah, exactly. It's not even banging on the side.

[Kim Congdon]

That was a smooth transition.

[Unknown Host 1]

Yeah. It's like when planes try to refuel in the air.

[Kim Congdon]

It's harder for me to get a USB into a computer.

[Unknown Host 1]

I always have to turn it over once.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. That was. Wow. That was.

[Unknown Host 1]

So maybe when you're 122 you can do that. I know. And then just to go right to town. It's just built in.

[Unknown Host 2]

We wondered how many takes.

[Unknown Host 1]

Yeah.

[Kim Congdon]

Those girls are talented.

[Unknown Host 1]

That's an amazing. And do you feel like you've wasted your life at this point? Don't you?

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

Like you've never even thought of that.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. That's really insane. People are so creative.

[Unknown Host 1]

Very creative. And that's what makes me happy. For humanity.

[Kim Congdon]

That was beautiful. That brought a tear to my eye.

[Unknown Host 1]

I don't want to go to the Louvre. This is what I want to be around. It's crazy. So. Yeah. So now you can change your plans at 122.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

And maybe a toy into your husband.

[Kim Congdon]

Oh my.

[Unknown Host 2]

With the family gathered around.

[Unknown Host 1]

See, the reason I bring this up is because I was just introduced to that 10 minutes before you got here. My mind is not on you today. I'm sorry. I'm not focused. I can't stop thinking of the buildup. Like, what can we do? There had to be a drawing. And like, you know.

[Unknown Host 2]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

The planning, engineering and like triangulations and numbers and math.

[Kim Congdon]

Geometry. Geometry. That had to take a few tries. There was no way.

[Unknown Host 1]

That was no way they first timed it.

[Kim Congdon]

First time. First time. That. That's got to go in the Guinness Book of World Records.

[Unknown Host 1]

Yeah. And the other thing is they had to realize, hey, the first thing we used to loosen me up wasn't big enough. We gotta. We gotta go bigger.

[Kim Congdon]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you kind of gotta make it bigger so it's an easier transition.

[Unknown Host 1]

Anyway, it's nice to meet you.

[Kim Congdon]

It's really nice to meet you guys. I was a strong opener. I didn't know what I was getting into. Neither did we. It was a lot different than the radio I listened to when I was a kid in the morning with my dad.

[Unknown Host 1]

The old zoo never did this.

[Kim Congdon]

No, no, this is much different.

[Unknown Host 1]

Kim Congdon's at Desert Ridge Improv tonight and Tom tomorrow. What else should we know about you? You said you like getting high.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah, I like smoking a little weed. I don't know. That's allowed here, right?

[Unknown Host 1]

Yeah. Do you still do it the old fashioned way? Are you gummies vaping? What. What's your.

[Kim Congdon]

I'm a. I'm a. I'm a blunt smoker. I like the blunts. I like the tobacco.

[Unknown Host 1]

You like the burn.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. I like a mushroom. I like a little acid.

[Unknown Host 1]

My God. Keep going.

[Kim Congdon]

I like a little dmt.

[Unknown Host 1]

Where do you draw the line?

[Kim Congdon]

DMT scares them to scary. I've only done it once.

[Unknown Host 1]

And how did it go?

[Kim Congdon]

It was insane.

[Unknown Host 1]

Yeah, what happened?

[Kim Congdon]

I did it in a hotel room. In was staying at a casino. I did it off of 8 pen, one of Duncan Trussell's.

[Unknown Host 1]

Were you at Anna Nicole or. Yeah. Was that hotel the Seminole?

[Kim Congdon]

Oh, no.

[Unknown Host 1]

Okay.

[Kim Congdon]

I don't know. I would have seen your spirit.

[Unknown Host 1]

Yeah, that's what I was wondering if you saw her floating around the room.

[Kim Congdon]

Essing D for money.

[Unknown Host 1]

Yes, that's right.

[Kim Congdon]

Am I getting better at it? Am I getting better at it?

[Unknown Host 1]

Her ghost was busy fellating other ghosts for ghost cash.

[Kim Congdon]

Ghost cash. They're edging me up here in heaven.

[Unknown Host 1]

You're seeing it. The only way to see it is a horrible drug habit. Did you see anything that scared you or made you feel like you had to change your life?

[Kim Congdon]

No, I didn't feel like I needed to change my life at all. I saw. Well, I'd never seen the Matrix in my life before. And the first thing I heard was a soft rain in the hotel room because I had my eyes closed. And then when I heard the rain, I opened my eyes, and it was raining inside. Yes. It was like a light. Looked like a light sprinkling of a language. I don't know how to explain it. It was coming down vertically like Matrix. Yeah, but it looked like white rain. Yeah. Yeah, but it looked like rain. And I was like, by the way.

[Unknown Host 1]

Nobody Google white rain. Go ahead, keep going.

[Kim Congdon]

Sorry. Or blue waffle.

[Unknown Host 1]

Oh, don't do that.

[Kim Congdon]

So. And then the next thing I saw was a pack of penguins, and they were waddling in a snowstorm. And I was watching them, and I was like, they look kind of suspicious. And right when I thought that, they turned to me and smiled, and they had, like, a green glowing in their mouth. And then I had some sort of thing tell me that there's aliens in the Arctic and that they're penguins, and then that's it. That's all I got. And I don't think it's real.

[Unknown Host 1]

Well, no. Yeah. You didn't go on, like, searching that you knew what was. What was reality and what was kind of, like, goofy.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

And it just. How long did that last? You know?

[Kim Congdon]

That lasted probably three minutes.

[Unknown Host 1]

Do you, like, a scale of one to ten? You're telling me. I've never even thought about doing it. Like, rank it for me.

[Kim Congdon]

I would do it. Yeah. I would do it. Yeah. I would give it a strong eight.

[Unknown Host 1]

It's an eight. Holmberg's Morning Sickness. The 98 KUPD. Holmberg's Morning Sickness, huh?

[Unknown Host 2]

Did you go back and do it again?

[Kim Congdon]

No, I didn't do it again. It does. It is a little scary. You go somewhere.

[Unknown Host 1]

Yeah.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. You go somewhere. And I also. This is hard to explain. I had the image of everything I've ever seen on a platter. Like, there was a platter, and it was spinning, and everything I've ever seen was, like, morphing.

[Unknown Host 1]

All things that you Things I've ever seen visually.

[Kim Congdon]

Widow. Yeah. All on this platter, spinning rapidly. And then I kind of woke up.

[Unknown Host 1]

How did you know? Wow. What stood out on that?

[Kim Congdon]

I don't know. It was very silly.

[Unknown Host 1]

Like your dad in the shower or something. Weird.

[Kim Congdon]

No, it was like animals. And like. Like anything you could think, an animal's forks, a microphone, like everything at a speeding rate, everything I've ever seen or know. And it was like in two seconds. It was hard to explain.

[Unknown Host 1]

Like, all right, that's it. And then how do you go back to just being normal after that?

[Kim Congdon]

And then I was like, I think I'm gonna go play slots. I don't know. I'm a fuck.

[Unknown Host 1]

Oh, you caught it. Great. You're a fun girl.

[Kim Congdon]

You were go, fun girl. And I'm a messed up person.

[Unknown Host 1]

Caught one. Nice job. You're effed up is what you were going to say.

[Kim Congdon]

Yes, I was.

[Unknown Host 1]

That's right. Well, that's. What's the. What do you think caused all that? If I was your therapist.

[Kim Congdon]

Oh, my parents, they were the problem. 100%.

[Unknown Host 1]

What was wrong with them?

[Kim Congdon]

They're both narcissists.

[Unknown Host 1]

Oh, really?

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

And yet they found each other.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

Oh, boy.

[Kim Congdon]

My mom is. Well, I don't know if my dad's a narcissist, to be exact. Have you ever seen Shameless?

[Unknown Host 1]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Kim Congdon]

My dad is Frank Gallagher.

[Unknown Host 1]

Oh, no kidding.

[Kim Congdon]

To the T. If Frank Gallagher was a commercial fisherman, it would be my dad. Dad, Frank Gallagher. To the T. Really?

[Unknown Host 1]

So you watched that and thought, oh, this is too close to home.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. And my mom is kind of like the mom in it.

[Unknown Host 1]

No. So you lived Shameless? You have a shameless parent?

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah, I have three little sisters. I'm the oldest.

[Unknown Host 1]

You don't know one?

[Kim Congdon]

I can't say. Why?

[Unknown Host 1]

Prostitute.

[Kim Congdon]

No. Close. No.

[Unknown Host 1]

Onlyfans.

[Kim Congdon]

Prostitute. Prostitute. Something like that.

[Unknown Host 1]

Well, how is it something like that?

[Kim Congdon]

And the other one works at a bank and the other one's a mom.

[Unknown Host 1]

So you got a mom, a banker, and a questionable adult life and an adult.

[Unknown Host 2]

Adult industry.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

Is she in the adult industry?

[Kim Congdon]

Something like that.

[Unknown Host 1]

She's a porn star.

[Kim Congdon]

No. Ah.

[Unknown Host 1]

If I guess it was. Oh, she's a stripper.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

That's not a big. It's Florida.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

You'll be all right. You're down. Yeah.

[Kim Congdon]

It's a secret. She's out there. Publicly.

[Unknown Host 1]

Yeah. It's like she's. Don't tell everybody I'm naked for money.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

Is she good at it? Have you seen Her?

[Kim Congdon]

I haven't seen her.

[Unknown Host 1]

You've never gone to see her?

[Kim Congdon]

She invited me to come over and watch her bounce that ass recently and I politely declined.

[Unknown Host 1]

Oh, she's seen your show?

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

So she comes to your work.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

Don't you think you should probably support her a little? I think, yeah.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. It was really weird when she was throwing dollar bills at me when I was stand up, but.

[Unknown Host 1]

Well, your top was. To be fair, your top was off.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

I don't know why you do that. People love to see your show for two reasons. Kim Congdon is at Desert Ridge Improv if you want to go there. 602-910-5156 but just go to desert ridgeimprev.com that's the easier way to do it.

[Kim Congdon]

Go there. Or you hate women.

[Unknown Host 1]

That's true. You're probably a misogynist because what are you going to do? Watch a man.

[Kim Congdon]

Otherwise that's crazy.

[Unknown Host 1]

And laugh the whole time.

[Kim Congdon]

Oh, God. Who likes laughter?

[Unknown Host 1]

Yuck. Go see a woman. No, I'm kidding. So, yeah. What got you into comedy? Your parents probably again?

[Kim Congdon]

Well, my parents were both. They're both. You know, my mom's a narcissist, my dad's kind of crazy, but they're both incredibly funny people. I had some producers doing a project. They were interviewing comedians, parents. They flew back home to Florida to interview my parents. And they were like, out of all the comedians, yours were the worst.

[Unknown Host 1]

No.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah, they were like. Your dad just brought us to like, different bars and we had to pay off his tabs and for an interview in exchange for interviews.

[Unknown Host 1]

Oh, he charged them for every model. Yeah.

[Kim Congdon]

And he would take them to different locations where he owed and he'd be like, you want another 10 minutes? You gotta pay this tab.

[Unknown Host 1]

No kidding. Otherwise you just leave.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

And they paid it.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. And the video is great. They're very entertaining people.

[Unknown Host 1]

Oh, my God.

[Kim Congdon]

And they said that my mom used up almost all of their tape because she wouldn't stop talking about herself.

[Unknown Host 1]

No kidding. Now do you want to see your parents pass away making love?

[Kim Congdon]

No, They've been divorced. But still my mom and my dad.

[Unknown Host 2]

Rallied up for the or. They individually filmed.

[Kim Congdon]

They individually filmed. They don't talk really. But my mom got remarried and then my. And then got divorced again.

[Unknown Host 1]

Yeah.

[Kim Congdon]

And then my stepdad and my dad became like best friends.

[Unknown Host 1]

Really?

[Kim Congdon]

When my mom moved out, my dad moved in to my stepdad's house.

[Unknown Host 1]

Wait a minute.

[Kim Congdon]

During COVID your mom and stepdad get.

[Unknown Host 1]

Divorced and your real dad and Stepdad now are roomies.

[Unknown Host 2]

It's not a down low thing.

[Kim Congdon]

No, no, no, no.

[Unknown Host 1]

Would you like to see them making.

[Kim Congdon]

Love at 120 more than my mom and my dad do?

[Unknown Host 1]

That thing we just showed you that. Oh, that. That poop thing. That's weird. Yeah. Where dads do that. And probably that's where they got the idea now that I think that's probably circulating.

[Kim Congdon]

Dads do that.

[Unknown Host 1]

Dads do that good D. The good ones. I love that. What? So you're. You got a boyfriend? You want to get married?

[Kim Congdon]

Probably, yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

Putting the screws to this guy. What does he do?

[Kim Congdon]

He was in the military for 10 years. He went to West Point.

[Unknown Host 1]

Oh, my God.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. He's really smart.

[Unknown Host 1]

Has he seen your sister dance?

[Kim Congdon]

No, not yet. I don't know. I actually don't know. I.

[Unknown Host 2]

Now you got a one ask, right?

[Kim Congdon]

I'm Puerto Rican. Now I'm pissed.

[Unknown Host 1]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host 2]

Yeah.

[Kim Congdon]

I'm jealous, dude. I'm a jealous girlfriend. Are you?

[Unknown Host 1]

That's awful.

[Kim Congdon]

The other day, he was like, I love your big Puerto Rican, but. And in my head, I was like, so you like Puerto Rican butts? Like, I'm like, so. Yeah. I'm so nuts.

[Unknown Host 1]

Not your butt, the butt.

[Kim Congdon]

I was like, so you like butts?

[Unknown Host 1]

He does.

[Kim Congdon]

He does.

[Unknown Host 1]

And he likes your butt, so you should be comfortable with that.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah, of course. I'm not like, you know.

[Unknown Host 1]

Are you stabby? No, Puerto Ricans are mostly that.

[Kim Congdon]

No, I'll throw a flincher at.

[Unknown Host 1]

You'll throw a chest bomb.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

Have you ever hit a man?

[Kim Congdon]

I've thrown things.

[Unknown Host 1]

Oh, you throw at the man or just.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. I think that we should bring back slapping men, first of all. Yeah, Yeah. A good open habit. Women should be able to. Men should shake women, and women should be able to slap men. And that's the problem.

[Unknown Host 1]

You're gonna be the next President of the United States. I've never heard more true words.

[Kim Congdon]

I think we need to get it out again. You know, I would love to, like, if my boyfriend's talking back to me, do like, one of the, like, ugh.

[Unknown Host 1]

Oh, yeah. Like 20 slaps.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. How dare you, sir? Oh, you pig.

[Unknown Host 1]

Yeah, and then he can grab you and shake you around.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host 2]

It's not what you think.

[Unknown Host 1]

This is fantastic. So do you allow him to shake you at all?

[Kim Congdon]

No, he won't shake me.

[Unknown Host 1]

Really? Have you asked, like, when I'm out of line, will you shake me back?

[Kim Congdon]

No, I'm scared. I just watched the Gabby Petito documentary.

[Unknown Host 1]

So did I.

[Kim Congdon]

What did you really shut me up?

[Unknown Host 1]

What did you think?

[Kim Congdon]

I thought she was doing a lot with the video. Influencing. And he seemed a little fed up. But there's no reason to kill her.

[Unknown Host 1]

I said the same thing, except for my take on it was, you can't go on a road trip with anybody that long and not somebody doesn't end up dead.

[Kim Congdon]

You can't be in a camper with a white girl that wants to vlog that long.

[Unknown Host 1]

And I couldn't do it for two hours. Camper. Yeah. And it wasn't even a camper. And he stunk. Everybody in the video said he was in the car, he was gamey. And then she tried to kick him out because his feet stunk.

[Kim Congdon]

Gamey's so good.

[Unknown Host 1]

And then. But everybody said he stunk. And they're driving around, And I'm like, 41 days is when she finally snapped. And he smacked her around a little.

[Kim Congdon]

Now imagine if he could have just shaken her every day a bit.

[Unknown Host 1]

If he could have just gotten hold of it.

[Kim Congdon]

Now get a hold of yourself, lady.

[Unknown Host 1]

Listen to me. You've lost your mind.

[Kim Congdon]

No more drones. Enough with the drones.

[Unknown Host 2]

Yeah, the drone got him.

[Kim Congdon]

One day without drones. That'll set a man off, but a drone.

[Unknown Host 1]

So I walked away thinking. And also, she's texting her old boyfriend. I think Brian might have gotten hold of the phone.

[Kim Congdon]

Oh, definitely.

[Unknown Host 1]

There's a lot more to this. That makes it sort of like she didn't deserve to. To die.

[Kim Congdon]

They think he's still alive.

[Unknown Host 1]

Who?

[Kim Congdon]

The Internet.

[Unknown Host 1]

That thing's never right. They found his decomposing court.

[Kim Congdon]

Now they're saying that the person that examined the dental records was related to him.

[Unknown Host 1]

Oh, so it's a thing.

[Unknown Host 2]

Inside job.

[Kim Congdon]

That's the. That's the rumor on the Internet. But, you know, you see stories. That one, Chris Watts, I was really into that. That one freaked me out.

[Unknown Host 1]

There's some. There's. I watch a lot of murder shows.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host 1]

And I'm fascinated by Gabby Petito was one where I walked away going. Well, the media kind of gave us this picture. They were driving each other nuts.

[Kim Congdon]

It seemed like they were hitting each other a lot.

[Unknown Host 1]

A lot. And that. That was going down the wrong road. She was a victim, but so was he. And he won.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. No, that's why women K word their babies.

[Unknown Host 1]

K word. Ketamine.

[Kim Congdon]

Kill.

[Unknown Host 1]

Kill. Oh, you can say kill isn't a customer.

[Kim Congdon]

Okay. I don't know if you could say.

[Unknown Host 2]

What drives them to kill a baby.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah. That's why women kill babies. And why men kill women. It's because they're smaller. Dude, women would just kill men instead of their babies. But they're not. They can't.

[Unknown Host 1]

We're not talking about bringing back shaking babies. That's not a thing we want to do.

[Kim Congdon]

No, no, no.

[Unknown Host 1]

Maybe the girl babies.

[Kim Congdon]

Yeah, that's about it. Get a hold of yourself, baby.

[Unknown Host 1]

You've lost your mind. Come back to reality. Kim Kongdon, Desert Ridge Improv this weekend Desert Ridgeimprov.com Leave us with words of wisdom.

[Kim Congdon]

Oh, my God. What a high pressure situation.

[Unknown Host 1]

That's why we put you here.

[Kim Congdon]

Listen, if you're gonna shake your lady and be nice about it, have boundaries.

[Unknown Host 1]

Shake her with love.

[Kim Congdon]

Shake her like a gentleman.

[Unknown Host 1]

Yeah. Isn't that an outcast song? That might be it, Kim. Pleasure to meet you.

[Kim Congdon]

Thank you, guys.

[Unknown Host 1]

Kim Congan, everybody. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful power rock radio station.