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Dick Toledo
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John Holmberg
Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Monday. It's 5:45. This is the morning sickness. My name's John Holmberg. Hi, how are you doing? There's Brady Bogan. There's Brett Fesley. There's Big Dick Toledo. We're ready to go and off and running for a perfect spring training week for anybody interested in such things. It's an outdoor weather situation we got going on here. It's going to get hot. It's good. Nothing wrong with that. It's better than the alternative and I'm fine with that. We're all good. Everything's great. In fact, Saturday we were, Brett and I were out at Action Ride Shop and man, that was a perfect day. Encouraging to go hop on the bike and ride. If you haven't. You take advantage of this weather. If you're living here, you got to take advantage of it, get out there, grab a bike. That Action Ride Shop place was packed Saturday and hopefully everybody realized, you know what, I don't do anything outside trails right across the street, we got millions of miles of them. There's no reason to live here and not hit those things and mess around on them all the time. It's a beautiful thing. So thanks to Josh and the whole gang out there. That was an awesome. That is a great bike shop.
Brady Bogan
That's awesome.
John Holmberg
I've been in a bunch of bike shops in my world, but that has definitely above and beyond excellent stuff.
Brady Bogan
So they put the work in over there.
John Holmberg
Boy, did they. It was awesome. So thank you to Josh and happy to just be, you know, a witness to all that's gone great for Action Ride Shop. Still the same store over there, you know, that's always been there. It seems, seems like we're casting off the old, you know, the standard, the foundation of the first one, because the new one's so pretty and new. Even Josh and his wife were. They were talking to us, like, now we'd go back to the other one. We just want to kind of burn it down. We have such a shiny new thing. It's like all the old, old stuff that you're so familiar with looks beat up. It's not. Just feels that way when you've got this brand new, beautiful place, but.
Brett Fesley
And the location.
John Holmberg
Oh, it's just. Everything's incredible. Yeah, the whole thing's outstanding. So.
Brady Bogan
But bikes only at that new one. If you still want the winter gear, you got to go to the OG store.
John Holmberg
Yeah. The one over there in Mesa. So it's just. It's ridiculous. So thank you to them and everybody who showed up, too. It was a shockingly large crowd there for a Saturday brunch time.
Brady Bogan
Gave away a new bike and.
John Holmberg
Yeah, giving bikes away, everybody. Guy at the end of it comes up to me. He got a package of shirt in it. And he's. He's not a. He's a slight man. He's a smaller, slight man, almost. He was womanly. No. Haynes is a small boy. Okay. This is a. This is very. You know, if it wasn't for the facial hair, I'd have been confused. Like, I always tell Scott Haynes, our funniest listener was there, and he's maybe five, two. He's very. He's boyish, but he's got a beard, and his beard is gray. And I always. And I tell people, this is my son, Scott. And you literally will watch people's face like, what the what? Because it's believable on height that that's a young boy that had, like, some bad government cheese and grew tons of facial hair. But another Scottish childlike. This person was feminine built. He's a slight man. And he came over and he says, here, I want you to have this. And he had, you know, Josh was just throwing T shirts into the crowd, and he caught one. He comes over and he goes, I couldn't possibly wear this. It's a large. And I'm like, well, go over and tell Josh like, hey, you can keep it or, you know, resell or do whatever. I can't. He goes, no, no, I couldn't. And I'm like, well, you know, I don't know. I don't want to. It felt weird. I'm like, I don't know. You. You do that. And I'm like, well, you can still wear it, like, to bed as a nightgown. Or something. I'm not sure what small men do. I go ahead and try that. Do small men wear 90s? I see. It reminds me of a T shirt dress. The night before Christmas. That man that went down with the candle in his hand was in a giant. That could be like you. He's in a gown. And he goes, no. And I also, I don't mountain bike because it was a shirt the Pivot guys were giving away. I don't mountain bike. And I'm like, why are you here? I don't know. And then he just walked away and he gave me. I was like, that's a. We go to the mountain bike grand opening, gets a T shirt. And he's like, this is. I just have to give this away. But it was nice. And then I ended up putting that shirt on later and riding my bike around. It was a nice shirt. Pivot gave me a good shirt through that small man, which was beautiful. So thanks to everybody who showed up, I. It was a good time, worth the drive. And I don't ever say that. For me, if you live in the area or you're gonna go mountain biking in that area, that's the place to go. That's the place to go. But if you're not. And so it's like, I'm just gonna tool on over somewhere. Like, it better be worth it. That was worth it.
Brady Bogan
I was surprised you made it. You said you were gonna be there. And I'm like, man, told you I was going. I don't know. I wanted to see it way East Mesa.
John Holmberg
For him, it was far. I'm not gonna lie. For me, it was like Jesus Christmas. This is a drive on a Saturday morning, passing all those Mormons driving ultra slow and hacking so close to aj. Bus was a big hit and I brought Bus. So the Bus got a day out. So, yeah, Bus is a smash hit. Bus is a. Bus is a rock star. It's. It's. He doesn't even have to try. I didn't realize how much Bus like babies and to whomever brought their 5 year old and bus decide, and the 5 year old would get on the ground with Bus. And Bus is a, you know, very loving, sweet dog, but he's a bulldog. He's. It's in the name. He knocks things down. He took this five year old down, and the kid's laughing and he starts licking his face. And then I watch Bus's front left paw just grip the boy and pull him right in. And he wasn't humping him, but he was in hump position and they were about the same size. And his dad not, not even bothered by it, said, you're in the mount. What do we do in the mount? Kid spins, starts to move, and I'm like, yeah, break his legs. I'm like, wait, that's my dog. He had a full. Because, you know, Bus left his ankle wide open for a. He could have just gotten into a lock right there and just ended it. But the kid is being taught moves on when he's in the mount. He's in the mount from behind and he's like, what do you do? And then he tried to stand up. It was a good match, actually. I would have given Bus the first two points for bringing him down and then another two for an escape. That was very impressive. But yeah, the MMA trains this five year old. It was great. And babies. I found out Bus likes babies a lot.
Brady Bogan
You need to train that dog a little bit better.
John Holmberg
Yeah, no, I do. I start getting them out there and starting to hate babies like that.
Brett Fesley
Their treat machines.
John Holmberg
That's true.
Brett Fesley
All over their head.
John Holmberg
This baby, like, was in arms and he did. It wasn't even down close, like jumping up to him. No, he doesn't leap. He's only to knock me out. He stared and then the leash went real tight. And like, what does he see? And he's in full, like lean. And I'm like, is he that happy to see that infant? And his eyes were locked on that baby. Oh, he's got, he's got the fever. It's like a 39 year old woman with no kids. He's got the fever and his clock is ticking. Yeah, he could. He was. He was baby crazy. Oh, and also, Brett saw it to the guy out there.
Brady Bogan
I was just gonna mention that.
John Holmberg
Who play pretended. He was gonna hand bus Burger.
Brady Bogan
He had a double burger, double jumbled burger.
John Holmberg
And he's eating it. And Buses, you know, he walks by a couple times. Bus's eyes are expressive. Bus goes by, goes by Bus and he looks at him and he starts to laugh. And he takes his burger and he acts like he's gonna give him some. And Bus starts to kind of like, oh, all right, I'm getting some burger. And then he pulls it back up to his mouth, like, and he does it again. You saw it for about 10 minutes. Bus eyeballed this dude inside or out. He saw him through windows. He was not happy. You almost got bitten by a dog that doesn't bite. That was a prick move.
Brady Bogan
That was a T. That was A cts man.
John Holmberg
That was a prick move once. Total prick move. Oh, he. He was locked in on this dude for a while. Was kind of funny. Don't tease a dog with burgers. But other than that, other than the. The oddness of a few people and that's what you're going to get in. And amongst some people, it was a great time. I also met a couple of people who. Guy came over to me and he's like. His wife said, I have to tell you, thank you for saving our relationship. And I'm like, well, you know, I don't know who you are, and I don't know what exactly was going wrong in your relationship, but you're welcome. I'm glad he doesn't fart on you anymore. And she goes, how did you know? And I'm like, because every woman that's ever said that to me has said that. That is the. Their husband does. And he goes, it wasn't farting on her. I'm like, see, dude, just take the win. You were farting on her. Well, he wasn't like, leaning it against. No, no, because you're not officially his brother. But in bed, you know, when you're going, you're in the bathroom getting ready for bed, and he's blowing ass in there, watching TV or whatever, right before bed or whatever, she goes, you know what's funny? You were right. It led to more oral. I'm like, I told you, that's the way it goes. Because if somebody's farting on you, the last thing you want is to be reminded that that area is. You don't walk around inside an active volcano. You know, it's active. It could go at any moment. And if he's a constant reminder that this thing is. And the worst thing, guys always say, I can't help it. All right, well, then I'm not going down there. Because if that's your. If that's your. If a woman said that to you, sorry, I don't know when that's going to happen. They're not going down there. So he said, yeah, it did kind of like help their marriage a lot. Because now I go outside or I go into another room, I'm like. Like a decent human being. Like you did when you were trying to win her over.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Like you first did on dates. You didn't just on first dates. So what do you do for a living? What? I can't help it. There's not going to be a second date. So you can clamp it up. She knows that. You know that. And this can't help it. Garbage is the worst thing a guy does. So. Yeah, another one. And that's. She's probably. It happened at Lost. Our Home Pet Rescue. One of the ladies that works over there came up and said, I got to thank you for you saved our marriage. This guy was farting like crazy. I hated it. I was sleeping in other rooms because he thought it was so funny. And then he heard you say that, and he was telling his friends, like, exactly what, guys, I don't get any blowjobs anymore. I don't understand what happened. We just get blown up. You remember when you first started dating how you didn't fart around her all the time and she was more than willing to blow you? And then you just started to go, you know, we're close now, and I just figured we should, you know. And then the blow jobs. I guarantee if there was a chart, you could see him cross. Exactly when the blowjob stopped and the farting began. Gotta be respectful of that. And women. I gotta hand it to you. You're very respectful of that with us. If you're a pig that farts in front of her husband or boyfriend, then you're just nothing but a pig. As Brett would say. Gross.
Brady Bogan
Yes, exactly.
John Holmberg
You're a pig. What? I can't help it. Would that be a good excuse for Mathia ever? She just sits next to you on the couch. Go. One of those girl noises that they make for their butts. Peace out. Sorry. I can't help it. Sometimes my ass is just. It can't be clenched up. So I just blow ass on you. We're comfortable. We've been together for 10 years.
Brady Bogan
That's the problem.
John Holmberg
So I fart on her. Fast forward to three weeks later at the Tap Dragon with his friends. I don't want. Man, we've been married for, like, 10 years. She doesn't blow me anymore. Oh, geez. I wonder why be that comfort you're always talking about when you're stinking up the room? Asparagus ass. So I was happy to. I was happy to. Once again. You know, I could start my sex and marriage counseling thing, and I'd be like, first and foremost, I know why you're here. Because he blows ass on you all the time. You guys have developed bigger problems off of him blowing ass and finding it hilarious. Or taking huge dumps in the master bedroom right before bed, having that waft around. She's got to smell your ass all night long. It's disgusting.
Brady Bogan
Why do I want to turn a fan on someone, wake her up, keep.
John Holmberg
Me up all night. Or dumping one right before she's got to get on. Have some class, go outside like the dog, for crying out loud. Be better. The Pope's gonna die also. That's news for all you. The Pope's gonna die. I know.
Brett Fesley
They're certainly playing it off a little bit.
John Holmberg
Okay, they can play it off on 88 year old men with double pneumonia.
Brett Fesley
Wait a minute. Yeah, the ICU.
John Holmberg
Yeah, he's gonna die and that's fine. He's supposed to. And isn't that a wonderful thing to these people? Aren't you supposed to celebrate when people die? Isn't that. Isn't he going on to a great thing like I thought he was? Now he gets to meet his idol. Yeah. Yeah, it's a good thing. I don't know why people get sad when the Pope starts to die. That's the whole point of his religion is dying and then meeting all the good stuff and having that whole reward.
Brady Bogan
Who's the vice Pope?
John Holmberg
There's the thing I looked up last night, okay, There is no vice Pope. No, you know who's first in line for popin? This guy has to win. Now, we can all admit the Catholics have had a rough go for the last, I don't know, 2,000 years, I'd say, But other people say probably the last 20 or 30, even though it's a lot longer than that. You know, they've been. They've been facing a lot of accusations that turned out to be 100% true across the board. They've stolen, they've raped. It's a quality organization. They've hated. It's opposite. It's weird. So the Pope is going to pass away. So, you know, PR not been so great for him. There's a guy ready to be Pope, looks a little like Robert Smigel, the dude who did Triumph, the insult comic puppet. He looks a little like Robert Smigel. He puts the hat on and you're like, all right. Because I looked last night. I'm like, all right, who gets the who's? How do they do they have the Conclave, which won best picture last night at the sack. The Conclave gets together and they start talking. Pretty high on the list. And I'm telling you, if you want a PR move to bring people back to the Catholic Church, because the numbers are falling, and I mean fast. And that was another thing I was reading last night, man, that Internet has done in the Catholic Church. Their numbers are just Plummeting. They need young people, especially with young people. Pierre Batista Pizza Ball. Oh, yeah. It's the next guy that they think could be pope. And don't change his name to John or Paul. He's Pierre Batista Pizza ball. And everybody who visits the Vatican Pope. Pizza. Pizza ball. I think it's a pizza ball. Everybody's chucking out pizza balls.
Brett Fesley
Might be a smart move. Keep that.
John Holmberg
It's a brilliant move to keep that name if you can associate to. Especially to Americans where the numbers are plummeting fat America Catholic Church is no longer those terrible wafers. And you get a little Pizza balla instead. A blood of Christ, a little bit of his flesh all in a 1. A pizza ball. Pierre Batista Pizza Ball. It sounds like a lyric of a song. That is the dude that they need to choose. He's right. Now what's his job?
Brett Fesley
Because Francis, you know, was a long shot.
John Holmberg
No, sure. But Brady. But that was hairs. We're not talking about the other.
Brett Fesley
You're talking about, though.
John Holmberg
Pierre Batiste, the pizza ball. Nobody cares about a man named Francis. He's right now he's the Cardinals. The lat Latin Patriarch of Jerusalem. I don't know. He's. He's. It doesn't matter if he's good, bad or otherwise. He's. He's only 59. So pizza ball lasts for at least like 15, 20 years. You get 20 years out of Pope Pizza Pope. Pizza Baller. Come on. Idiots. If they don't choose him and dumber still if they change his name. Pizza Balla is the answer. The answer. He's Italian, which we haven't had a good Italian pope for a while.
Brady Bogan
That's what we're missing.
John Holmberg
You know. Central American Pope. And the Polish one before him. Pizza ball. And his signature is absolutely awesome. Look at that.
Brett Fesley
Oh, yeah.
John Holmberg
Pierre Batista Pizza ball. And he should draw. He should dot his eyes with little pizza balls and sauce. And his pizza balls have to be mama's sauce. He has to.
Brett Fesley
That is the guy.
John Holmberg
Pizza.
Brett Fesley
You're right.
John Holmberg
Baller. Yeah. And it would make people go, ha ha. Catholics are fun because they don't have a reputation of being very fun.
Brady Bogan
Where do we vote?
John Holmberg
Yeah. Can we make this a democracy? How do we kill this old way? That's stupid. And give the new way because, like. And have everybody who's interested vote.
Brett Fesley
Go ahead and put that white smoke out. This is done.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Yeah. Before the dude even dies. Before the double pneumonia drops down on Pope Boring. Pizza Ball. If I was in there and I Knew pizza balla was next. I might throw a pillow over the pope's face. I bet you he wouldn't see that coming. And then he'd, you know, he'd be a martyr and all that, too. So he gets even more credit. Somebody out there needs to unplug the current pope and bring in pizza ball. And also while you're in church, you know, I would maybe if I hear if the pizza ballas are good. My mom used to make these things called pepperoni rolls, which had mozzarella cheese, and she'd make the bread by hand and the cheese inside, and then pepperonis, and then you dip them in the pizza sauce. Pizza baller.
Brett Fesley
They're like her strombolis.
John Holmberg
They were tiny, though. They were. They were like. Like handheld. Oh, they were snacky. So good. A little parmesan on top. Oh, my God. Pizza ball. So if that was what they were giving out as the flesh and the blood, I might start showing up to that, and then I'd be really upset. And I get up there and. God, I'm not yet. Can I get it in a pizza ball? Are you not a confirmed. You got to go through the process. Like, I can't have any of them pizza balls unless I go through the process.
Brett Fesley
It's that or that. Garlic knots.
John Holmberg
Yeah. No, no. Garlic knots are no good. But nobody wants that terrible breath. On the way out, you eat the pizza ball. You just have the pizza ball. You're adding in appetizers, you're gonna end up with a menu. One thing, one thing only. Pizza. Stay focused, Brady. I know this is hard. That you want the whole appetizer menu in front. No, it's just the pizza ball. But if they don't give them out.
Brett Fesley
Because you're not in, anything's an upgrade to that wafer.
John Holmberg
This. Yeah, exactly. Fat America would start being. How do I get hold of these free Sunday meals? You gotta become a. You know, you gotta donate a little bit. You gotta go through the process. You gotta give it your life into the Jesus. Get a pizza ball. Yes. All right. How long does that take? And we put you on a quick track and speed that up a little bit, too. You can speed that up. We don't need to go through years process to become one. Just anybody that's willing to show up and drop some cash off and show up to the church.
Brett Fesley
And if he changes things around, instead of, you know, fish on Fridays during Lent, it's pizza on Fridays.
John Holmberg
Yeah. And then we get this other.
Brady Bogan
Sign me up.
John Holmberg
Yeah. This pizza Friday this last Pope that couldn't stop saying the homo F word and stuff, he's forgotten. You've already blown that out of the water. And you go, hey, a pop. A pizza ball. Oh, what do you think of the gay man? And she goes, that's for ghoul. He's a who? The Gads eat at the pizza ball. All he's doing, he's like. He's got the chef's hat on. He's always throwing dough in the air. He's just. He's the dude on the box. Just make this a thing instead. The chef's hat's all pointy instead of floppy. I could fix your Catholic church with one Pierre Batista pizza ball. People would sing his name. Pierre Batista pizza ball. Always under Roma. He's a. He's just been around forever. How have we not heard of this guy? How are they not putting him out front? How? Because they're stupid, that's how. Unbelievable. Flat out unbelievable.
Brett Fesley
Was he in the running last time?
John Holmberg
No, no, it had been like 50.
Brett Fesley
Yeah, yeah.
John Holmberg
He speech. He's new. He's new. But once you. I mean, how is this dude? How's the pizza ball of family not famous. They're already Italian. Stereotyping, the way they say it. Pizza ball. Instead of just pizza ball. Pizza ball. It's perfect. It's perfect. And you. I mean, every time. And you change, like, the whole idea of the Pope is more fun now. You have, you know, you just. This. This is constant. Ladies and gentlemen, It's a popa, everybody. Yeah, the popper isn't here. That's a pizza butter for everybody. Hey, a pizza butter for you. A pizza puffer. Not for you. You a sinner, huh? You better stop dipping your dick into all the other ladies, huh? Hey, a pop. I try. I'm only human. No pizza baller for you. You could have banging the guys wives. Pizza ball. I got a porn. And I really wanted them pizza ballers. I kind of. I kind of have this slut on the side over here. Pizza ball. My husband, he's a. He's a terrible man. He farts in bed. Hey, no pizza bolla for him. Yeah, they take away the pizza bow. This is church. Every church outside.
Brady Bogan
I'd be going every Sunday, maybe twice.
Brett Fesley
Very upbeat.
John Holmberg
The kids at Dobson that got fingered by Father Dale might sneak back over there to St. Tim's here they're handing out these delicious pizza balls. And don't make them cheap. When you make pizza ball of the Pope, don't screw it up. And go bargain basement food city. Poor people. You love poor people too much. Get us some richer pizza ball with the gooda dough. Go over to whole foods, take some of the billions of dollars you guys swindled and buy some delicious ingredients and.
Brett Fesley
Make these pizza tapestry.
John Holmberg
Just get out of that. Get out of the idea that you're. You're poor because you're not. Get something, something. Check out homework's morning sickness podcast@98kupd.comberg's Morning Sickness. Hey, like the Bible said, a richer man to go through the eye of a needle, a camel will go through a fast. Well, then what's with the gold cap? Don't worry about us. We poor too. You know, we so poor, I don't take a paycheck. I'm joining me in the hot tub. I got a size of 12. I got pants. I got 12 different sizes of pants for you and your boys. The hot tubs leave. We sell all the hot tubs in a sale and a. An estate sale, and we take that money and we get the quality ingredients for the pizza bolla. And I'll tell you, within a year, whomever you buy the pizza bolla ingredients from will start being cash like. And they'll. They'll just donate the ingredients there. Here's the thing that's gonna happen over it. They're too stupid to do this tradition. Yeah, the traditions which has been raping kids and stealing money, those will rage on and pure pizza baller. Yeah, they'll have their stupid things. And we've been doing it a certain way for a long time. Hey, I'm looking at your numbers here. You're basically the radio of religion. You're in a death spiral. You're not yet. I don't see an up arrow for your religion at all. Pizza balls. This is pretty good. I mean, you can. You can mask it for a little while. I mean, if KUPD started to feed everyone every Sunday, I mean, we're already doing well. All the other radio stations be like, that's brilliant. Because, you know, radio isn't a radio, and the Catholic church are looking at each other like, see any unemployment lines?
Brady Bogan
Hold my beer.
John Holmberg
KUPD's good. Actually, this whole. This whole building, we're all right looking at the numbers. All the rest of them. Catholic church is looking at us going, you guys will need a secondary plan, I think. You ever think of, you know, stopping the rape of the children? Oh, no, that's you. I'm sorry. That's our thing. I. Forget it. You guys are Doing a rape of the children pizza bottle.
Brett Fesley
It's lift on being celibate no longer.
John Holmberg
Yeah, you don't have to do that. I get a guma, huh? Well, you gotta be a celibate, a pizza baller. Like the ladies. And the ladies are like a new pizza ball. Pierre Batista, pizza baller. I'm at a new Pope and then. But they'll call him something dumb. He's Pope Benedict xvii. Oh, Christ. Boring. What's his real name? Pierre Pizza Ball. You blew it. They'll blow it. He should be the spokesperson. He should be out front all the time. The way Trump has hot girls always speaking for him. You know that, that, that press secretary's hot as hell. His lawyers are ridiculous. Have you seen his assistant? She's like 28. She wanders around the Oval Office and I'm like, bill Clinton would have put some clothes on. Bill Clinton would have exploded inside of Trump's White House. And I'm not sure Trump isn't. He's too old to be the he wants to be. But he surrounds himself with stuff he would be banging.
Brady Bogan
He's living vicariously through the rest of us.
John Holmberg
I can't look at that. This is stuff I used to bang. This is the goods that used. This surrounds me. Can't get it up anymore, but this is what I used to pull. Pretty awesome, but pure Batista Pizza Bowl.
Brady Bogan
What do you want him to be? Pope Totinos or what?
John Holmberg
If you had a battle between Pope who is a Pope and Totino, he's getting it in my way. We got to go to. We got to go to solid a threat. What's his name? I don't want to say. Oh, you tell me who's the name. I take him down, I'll be the Pope forever. Okay. He's a pop of Sargento the garbage frozen food Pope. No, we don't like it. A Sargento Boyardi. Popo Boyardee. Yes. It's a catch up pop tombstone. That's a catch. These are all you guys are hanging around the frozen food. What are you, a bachelor? A 19 year old. You gotta get a go to Pizza bowl, top a notch. None of that, you know, Woo dove in the nonsense. I go to dough. Bring it around. I was reading that last night and I'm just like, well, there's the guy. How long is this gonna take? And who's in second? Unless that guy's name is like Pierre Batista Blowjava, there's no possible way Pizza Ball is gonna be stronger. It's the best name I've ever heard. And it makes me think maybe they're not so bad. And right now I'm looking at that whole operation. It's kind of like, mmm, eh, don't trust you. You're fairly crooked for. I mean, call me crazy, but crooked for a couple millennia. I might have to think that you're not on the right track. Even still bringing pizza ball out, I'm seeing serious changes, especially if he comes out and he just starts doing that Italian thing where they wave your hand in front of their chest. Oh, ho ho. I tell you what, we'll rip a of kids. We're not going to do that no more. Sorry about all that raping other kids. That was a bad. Have a pizza ball. He's not so bad. I see a new path for these people. They'll screw it up. They'll screw it all up. Also, great job by U of A this weekend. I did want to bring this up. I didn't see it, but I saw the story yesterday. BYU beat them. But then. And evidently it was an assistant coach or something that helped start the Mormon chant. And they had a couple of them going. They were chanting some Mormon stuff at BYU and they had to apologize. So we apologized after. Sorry about that whole thing about the Mormons. If your school leads with its religion, it can be made fun of by the school that doesn't. If you're gonna climb into the lion's den and play sports with other team, the crowd can chant funny things about your religion. It's just what you. If you're going in there going, we're Mormons. But don't bring it up. No, if you beat. If you go in there and you start pounding your chest and stuff, you're allowed to be ridiculed a little bit for what you're leading with fact. So if you go in there and.
Brett Fesley
You know, you know, as I understand it, or I saw, it was just a chant. They're chanting Mormons.
John Holmberg
The Mormons go home. And they had. They did a thing. They were Mormons. They were doing that. You know, the old. Which is sort of maybe just. They were saying happy things. They had a couple of them that weren't so great. That's fine. Your school goes in and starts screaming that Mormonism is the only way, and we're all living a life this way. And then they come in and they try to beat Tucson. You think those kids have any reason to live or think about an afterlife? They live in Tucson. That's the best school they could go to. You're not exactly dealing with the highest end education folk down there in Arizona's wildcat country. So, yeah, you're gonna get a chant that basically says, you think your life's so great, Screw you, chant away. Yeah, chant didn't work. You lost.
Brett Fesley
You lost.
John Holmberg
And walk out of there and just say, yeah, the power. Moroni got us this victory over a better team and they summoned his juice by making fun of us. You can't go in there and start shouting out, we're Mormons first and basketball player second. Because they'll make fun of the one thing that you're most proud of when you start making it close. And that's it. So keep it to yourselves. Notre Dame Catholic chants happen to them all the time. They get made fun of all the time. You know, if Notre Dame's 30 on.
Brett Fesley
30, where the guy back in the day sold the Catholics versus convicts.
John Holmberg
Yeah, exactly. Down there with Miami. Yeah, you can make fun of Miami. They lead with being criminals and they're proud of it. All those 30 for 30s are like when we were good, it was when we were cheating real hard. And they're all like locking hands and doing that you thing. So U of A fans, you've been your U of A. What do you have to. You don't have any shame? Like, you guys are mostly cartels. Yeah, they're cartel kids. You're probably majoring in drug trade and human trafficking. I think that's what U of A does. I don't know. Bottom line is, and see, I just made fun of U of A for being awful. And nobody's gonna go make that. Make everyone apologize. You make fun of colleges you don't go to and you make fun of them for what they're known for. The hippie lettuce that those cow bears smoke all day long. And they're political, left leaning nonsense. They get made fun of for that all the time. You know, they have all those, you know, politically correct. You tear into them, you hippies, you losers. And the ones that come to town that don't matter much. But the winners, I mean, Ohio State, Ann Arbor is a whore. 10 times worse things said about other colleges, but for some reason, you can't make fun of the one school that says, hey, we're all Mormons. Have to be Mormons to go here. Super Mormon school named after the king of the Mormons. And then you're like, well, can we make fun of that? Oh, absolutely not. I can call Ann Arbor a whore because Michigan plays there oh sure, that's fun. Muck Fishigan everywhere. Everywhere. That's the whole point of college sports. You get a bunch of 19 year olds who make bad decisions drunk and you give them a ticket to a sporting event and act them and tell them, look, be fanatic. It's going to happen here at Grand Canyon here pretty soon. Grand Canyon.
Brady Bogan
Do they get made fun of? I mean they are not yet Christian school.
John Holmberg
I'm sure they've stepped into a few places where they get made fun of.
Brett Fesley
You've got numerous.
John Holmberg
But nobody knows anything about Grand Canyon. They travel to life. Boulder and what's Grand Canyon? This is an easy walk in the park. But what they do is give the students credit for going to the games and they're getting fired up over there. Grand Canyon's crowds are pretty crazy. So it's a matter of time before they do something dumb or they start shouting. Because especially when you got two religious schools. You got the Jesuits, which I don't know that they'll ever be good at basketball to be honest with you. That's gonna be a tough one. But you got some of those schools that you know, lean one way religious and then they get the Mormons in there. Why wouldn't you have some sort of an epic religious battle? That sounds great. Yeah.
Brett Fesley
And they're competitive.
John Holmberg
Yeah. I don't know.
Brett Fesley
I mean a couple of the schools are. I mean like BYU and football and.
John Holmberg
Sure.
Brett Fesley
Starting to make some waves and why.
John Holmberg
Not have a sign that says Muck Foreman's. I don't like it. It makes sense to me. You can do it to all the other schools. You can be vulgar and disgusting and have a laugh at it that way. Chanting Mormons, dudes, jobs are on the line. No, you scream I'm Mormon. So we're gonna. People are gonna make fun of that. Especially down in Tucson where they're not that bright. That's why they went there in the first place. See? See what I'm doing there? I can make fun of you of a. All day apologize. Nobody says a goddamn thing. You make fun of the Mormon school that won't shut up about being Mormons. You know who could fix all this? Pier Battista Pizzabola. I'm pretty sure he could have come along. Hey, the Mormons, give them a break. They don't know what they're talking about. A day under the umbrella. But look at umbrellas are dancing. He's a mouth of water. And for another a papalo pizza ball. The Papalo pizza balls. And you know we used to say in the Catholic Church. Let me put my balls in your mouth, boy. And the people would have run. And now we put a balls in your mouth and. Delicious. You want a little more sauce in your mouth from the Pope. Let me get them. A pizza ball is in your mouth. You want a. Two pizza balls has had two ballers in your mouth. Better than a one. Yeah, make fun of the Mormons all you want. As long as it's just like, you know, it's not like disparaging and terrible. Have good clever stuff. Not like what Michigan and Columbus do, which is just the baseline of, like, you know, what you. I mean, a sign said in the stadium. Yeah.
Brett Fesley
If I said it's mostly wearing the shirts. But people. You know, every once in a while. Brady, this thing happens.
John Holmberg
Your schools fought after the game this year. Michigan and Ohio State hate each other. There's. There's. They hate and they're supposed to. The. The.
Brett Fesley
And that's what happened at this.
John Holmberg
There's no.
Brett Fesley
There's some kind of scrap between.
John Holmberg
Yeah, but there is no class in the crowd of a Michigan, Ohio State game. There is a lot of crassness. It's awesome.
Brett Fesley
There's nothing but class.
John Holmberg
No, it's wars. Yeah, there's that. Because you say you. You guys are wealthy and Michigan is poor kids. That's basically what you're just saying the class war is. We're classy country club kids and they're poor inner city losers. That's the.
Brett Fesley
You didn't see in that game. You know that guy playing the flag.
John Holmberg
Yeah. See, this isn't even about him. One. Even about him. Mm.
Brett Fesley
There's another group of both teams together huddled up, doing an after prayer.
John Holmberg
That's great. Probably the muck fish again. Always. And bless us, our Lord and savior, and thank you very much. And as always, bless the children and the beasts and muck fishing and Amen. Yeah, it's. There's. That is a classless operation. When I was there, I was loving it, by the way. The signs, the shirts, the horrible language, the terrible things.
Brett Fesley
Rivalry.
John Holmberg
It's a great rivalry. That's what makes it great. You know what makes it great? How much they hate each other. That they would fight to the death over that before they run into traffic and save their kids. They hate each other and they make signs about how much they hate each other, and they are vulgar and they're horrible. There's extra security for a reason. It's awesome. Awesome. Mormons. You roll into Tucson, expect a chant. We don't have to respect Your religion in a basketball game. Don't bring it. It. Don't bring it with you. Guys will say, you know, u of A bunch of dumb kids. U of A. All that's no different than disrespecting all the people who spent money or time down at U of A. Same as you think you're dumb.
Brett Fesley
They're fudging losers, Right?
John Holmberg
Yeah. Fudge. Arizona. I'm gonna be a dentist. All right, great. Go back up to Utah and do your thing. My mother's in real estate up in Utah, so I plan on dentistry and real estate. I've already got 11 kids. I'm 19 years old, and in two years, I'll be in Haiti trying to convince them that Mormonism's the way. Enjoy aids. Hey, that's disparaging. Right? You're going to Haiti. You're coming back with aids. That's what we say about Haiti. What's the reputation Haiti's got? Probably going to get aids. Nobody's saying apologize to Haiti. You gotta apologize to the Mormons for chanting Mormon. Okay, don't lead with it. Don't lead with it. Good job, U of A. Now you could have beat em. The Mormons wandered out of your building with a win.
Brett Fesley
Spanking.
John Holmberg
Yeah. They spanked you. They say you're like a top 10 team. Right before the tournament, Mormons come in, you're making fun of them, and they whip you. That's embarrassing. The best you had was chance garbage.
Brett Fesley
Great chant.
John Holmberg
Yeah. And you didn't even come with anything clever because you're U of A students. You're not that bright. But the coach evidently was even in on it. And he had said some disparaging thing towards them based on their Mormonism. All right? You keep race out of it. That's the only rule. You can't. You can't. That's. You know, like, if an HBCU school comes to town, you can't do that because you should be so lucky to have the lineup.
Brett Fesley
Those guys, you won't last long.
John Holmberg
Yeah. You know, and they'll fight back. Mormons will be like, we'll complain to the board. HBCU kids aren't gonna. They're gonna punch the coach. And rightfully so. And that's the risk you take when you mouth off. You want to mouth off against the Mormons. And then one of those big Hawaiians they recruit. God knows how they keep doing that, but they've got a system down there where they pull Samoans and South Pacific Islanders all the way up to Utah. I Don't know what that, what that lie pamphlet has to look like.
Brett Fesley
That missionary works paying off.
John Holmberg
Seriously though, what pamphlet are they showing them of Provo that's appealing to anybody who lives in the South Pacific? Why would a Takalua go all the way up there? Why would a Puna Munahuna go play any sports in Utah when they've grown up completely on the islands? They get more Hawaiians up there that.
Brett Fesley
They want to get off the island.
John Holmberg
Please, no one. Punahunahua does never want to leave the island. I just want to live in the snow. Says no one from Hawaii ever maybe visit it. But Punahulahua is not. They're lying.
Brett Fesley
You get hair commercials, you know.
John Holmberg
Sure.
Brett Fesley
Head and shoulders.
John Holmberg
No, you're talking about. He did not go to Mormon school. I went to usc. Yeah, that makes sense to me. Climate to climate Utah. I want to see the pamphlets they show the Punahuna Nunes because the second they show it to them, they're like, I'm in. There's like 12 every year. Washington's another one that picked up on that. There's a brainwashing system. Something's going on that makes them, they're paying them top dollar and they make them become Mormons too.
Brett Fesley
The Takalaka, I think they, I mean, there have been some that come out of there that, that don't join the church.
John Holmberg
Yeah, the two Yasasopos and those types, they go in, they join and then they leave.
Brady Bogan
I think the Mormons are smart. That's. Those missionaries are out there recruiting.
John Holmberg
It's brilliant.
Brady Bogan
I mean, that's, I mean, other religions should be, you know, the Irish should be doing that. You know, Notre Dame should be sending out missionaries to all these crazy places.
Brett Fesley
You can go to BYU for like a third of the price of what.
Brady Bogan
I mean, it's brilliant.
John Holmberg
It is smarter to go down there and recruit those big Hawaiians. But you get those dudes in there and they're probably going to be nice and Mormon trained and all that stuff. They're not going to fight the coach that says you're nothing but a horn blowing Moroni. I don't know what the insults are to Mormons. Hey, Gabriel, I don't know. I don't even know where you go. Your mother was a dentist and your father was also a dentist. I mean, there's no insult for a Mormon that would actually resonate. Right? But you're fundamental. You probably have several women in your house. I got nothing. So I don't know if they even get insulted. You Try that in HBCU and you're going to get punched. And there's a chance that one of the Talkalakaluas is going to hit you if you mount up. Yeah, there's a great chance. Great chance. U of A. Where was that? Yeah, where was that? Polyamory. They're making fun of our multiple wives. We're not fundamentalists. They think we're. This is. I'm getting a little upset, guys. I'm about to fudging lose it. That's okay, Grady. Calm down.
Brady Bogan
Keep sweet.
John Holmberg
Many teen brides. Is that a bad thing? Are they making fun of us?
Brett Fesley
That would have been a 20 point blowout.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah. In their heads. I. Your sister wives. I've done thousands of them. You have aged more, but come on. And maybe they did a couple other chants that were bad. You lead with it, you get hit with it. Period. End of story. Fork em devils. I've seen signs down there in U of A. It's close to that, but it's not stupid. And a better world will be here once that Pope finally takes his last breath. And we bring in Pizza Balla.
Brady Bogan
I can't wait.
John Holmberg
I can't wait for that pope to die.
Brett Fesley
Come on.
John Holmberg
Come on, Pope. What are you hanging around for? And he ain't getting better. I don't want to see him. He was already wheeling around, barely making it. Let's. Let's let him go home to whatever it is he's been waiting for. Get him up there. Why? Hang on. I don't understand that. You're the Pope, aren't you? Like E tickets straight in.
Brady Bogan
You would think.
John Holmberg
I mean, why even go to the doctor? Yeah, I mean, you can say, hey, Pope, you gotta. They are double A pneumonia. And he's like. Like he's got to be excited about it. No, no. I'll get me on a ventilator. Keep me around a little while longer. I don't want to die. Why? It's all you talk about.
Brett Fesley
I think they're doing like. You need to hang on a couple more weeks. We need to get our act together. Gotta get the boys back together for the conclave. Can you hang in there a little?
John Holmberg
Unless he's laying on that he want to say, I want to see a conclave, but win the best picture out of the Oscars. I wonder if he's laying there. I always use an Italian accent. No matter what. The Pope. Doesn't matter. But if he's laying there, he's all, I'll be a God damn if I See the day that a pizza baller become a pope, I'm gonna live forever just to keep the pizza baller out. Maybe they hate each other. So he's just hanging on. Put a venue there to save me. Save me with all of the technology you got. Because I will keep a pizza baller out of there. I hated that guy.
Brett Fesley
The fastest conclave ever.
John Holmberg
We all agree a pizza boll is the future, huh? But the puppy, he want to die. He did. He live. He live on the spider hating the pizza ball. I'm never going to let a pizza baller be a pope. Anyway, he's the one that wanted gay marriage. Like, he started to have good feelings about the gays. And then he said like the homo effort a couple of times in a row. And they even told him stop it. What a stop of saying aoli? Yeah, please. They don't know better. You know, whatever. Hold on a second before I. What? What are you mad about? The one you keep us saying? Fagoli. That's the one I have to keep saying. What are you talking about? The. Those are people. Stop doing that. No, I'm afforded. I'm afforded. I don't get it.
Brett Fesley
Just not in the church. Yeah.
John Holmberg
You just are gonna be part of us, that's all. You're all day long. But not with me. These are fajolis. They're always a stop at a pup. You did it again. You're like a Tom Brannon. We cannot stop you. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585-9800. A good one. Fun. Start this glorious day off in this beautiful weather we live and we're in paradise. Let's embrace it. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up.
Dick Toledo
It's not weird.
John Holmberg
It's pretty cool actually.
Brett Fesley
No membership fee.
John Holmberg
I have heard enough of this. Homberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Thank you. Miles to nowhere Monday and waking up in this glorious town. You know, I've been doing my all nighters. Last night I fell into. I did some yard work yesterday. The sun got me good. So I felt I was awakened by an alarm last night. It's only six times so far in all of 2025 when alarm has jarred me from a deep sleep to awake. But I'm still doing all right with my new schedule. But I look forward to waking up on days like this. Because you can do anything you want. You go outside, do whatever. Yesterday had. I was sitting there watching tv And I have a, you know, a back kind of garage door from my. My game room out into the backyard. And to the left of me was glorious outdoor everything. Beautiful day. It's by 4, 4:30 in the afternoon. Like, it's perfect outside. And I'm sitting in a chair. And to the right of me is a television showing the suns. To the left, glorious outdoor activity. To the right. What am I doing with my life? Why do I do this to myself? And my friend Brian texts me. He goes, are you watching? I'm like, yeah, I don't like. This is the. We live in this amazing place. And I am plopped down on a. Watching this garbage team lose to the Raptors. And. And he says. And I sent him a picture. I said, you know, because of a good shot of. Of outdoors. Look. Look all that awaits me out here. And then here's the TV screen with the suns and rafters. And he said, the right. He was perfect. He said, to your right is a movie that you're watching that you're not even enjoying, but maybe there's nudity. To the left, the Internet. Like, you're absolutely right. Why am I wasting my time waiting for a boob slip in a movie I don't even care about when I've got the Internet.
Brady Bogan
Went to Skinimax.
John Holmberg
Basically, it was. I was. I was waiting for some dry humping. When outdoors is free sex terrible? So watch that garbage team. What is with them? Their name is life. And yesterday they're three minutes. I've texted Kevin Ray. He's now texting me regularly. We text during the broadcast, which tip the cap to him because you would never know. He's actually chatting with jackasses. Like, man, I'm sure not. I'm not the only one. I know his son Zach does too. But I text him. I'm like, man, you get paid for this. They were. They were within two points with three and a half minutes and lost by almost 20 because Toronto just decided to say, eat enough. And one team with heart. Sh. They're heartless. Absolutely zero desire.
Brady Bogan
No defense.
John Holmberg
No defense. It's just tough.
Brady Bogan
Everybody wants to shoot three.
John Holmberg
It's a brutal team. And again, the statistic that will blow your mind. They are the second highest payroll in American sports. Number two, $408 million a year going out the door for this Suns roster, and they're not even gonna make the playoffs. I mean, and who has them?
Brett Fesley
Dodgers.
John Holmberg
I think the Dodgers are first. I mean, that's. I mean, football's got a 200 something million dollar cap, so they'll never hit that. Four basketball. You're allowed to go to a certain level. You pay a luxury tax. Baseball is just free for all.
Brady Bogan
Thought the Yankees would be up there.
John Holmberg
Too, but Yankees are probably up there. Not as high as the Suns. Think of that.
Brady Bogan
That blows me away.
John Holmberg
That the Suns are more than the Yankees or. I mean, I don't know who's in first. I think it's the Dodgers.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
But the Yankees are regardless. Dodgers sons, Yankees or Yankees? Sons. Sons are still second.
Brady Bogan
There's more guys on the team in baseball, too.
John Holmberg
There's 13 players and one of them is making league minimum for sure. Of the 13. So, I mean, three guys. It's ridiculous. It's terrible. So take advantage of this glorious place we live and stop wasting your time on those Suns games. I'll go to the games here because it's still fun to drink and goof around at the Raw Railroad Room. I don't think I've watched basketball much this year. I actually gotten to where I hate this team. I'm angry at them for all the reasons of. Not because, you know, and I don't blame Matt Ishbia yet, the owner. Not yet, because how is he to know that Kevin Durant is a Scottie Pippen, not a Michael Jordan? How's he to know that Booker, he's got a team of Scottie Pippen. There's no Michael Jordan on this team. There's nobody on this team grabbing collars and there's no Draymond Green screaming, hey, guys, it's this way or no way. He may not be the best player on the team, but they don't even have a leader. Everybody's afraid to yell and they're ad. They suck. Period. End of law, end of story. He's trying to explain why a song is bad. It's just bad. Yeah, sometimes Michael Jackson wrote a crappy song. This is. This is that. But, boy, I'll tell you, you look at it on paper, this team should be floating. They're not. I just got an email from a guy said, what the hell's going on over here on 27th Avenue in Thomas? And before I even saw, I just text. A shooting or a stabbing. I guarantee if you're struggling with traffic in that area, it's not because, you know, somebody rescued a baby or, you know, there was a cash giveaway that went really well. It's a shooting or a stabbing. And then we get an alert just now. Police investigation prompts partial road closure near West Phoenix Gas station where there was a murder on the 21st, which is five days ago. So maybe it's the QT on 27th and Thomas. Not to blame. QTs right there. Those are awesome. Yeah, Love the blade, but. Right on the blade. But they've blocked a southbound 27th Avenue. You just don't. You know? But that QT might want to start putting up some specials. Like 10 off for each bullet wound or something like that, I think. Oh, that'd be a great idea. Yeah. It was a guy who got killed there four days ago, and there was first degree murder charges from the thing. Four days ago. They got the guys, but then there's another one this morning, so they're not done yet. You know how many qts there are in this city? You can go past that one, you'll be all right. Go to another one. Give QT your business. By all means. Maybe kind of avoid that one for a few seconds till the whole Gaza Strip vibe goes away.
Brady Bogan
It was on the news this morning. They had the live reporter.
John Holmberg
Oh, really?
Brady Bogan
Yeah. And she's like, well, I don't know what's going on here. Yeah, Phoenix PD hasn't commented yet. I'm like, it's the west side.
John Holmberg
You're on 22nd Avenue and Thomas. Doesn't matter. Speculate.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Death. Okay. That's what happened if somebody was against their will. Right. This is not like a guy who had a heart attack. Yeah. Somebody was shot and killed or stabbed and killed or attacked. It's 27,000, Thomas. Yeah, that's why send a reporter out there to go. We're not sure what's going on. Yes, you are. You just don't know who and where yet. Yet in this general area. Pretty sure someone's been shot. We're trying to narrow it down to which one is causing the accident. There's 70 or 80 deaths a day over there. Don't.
Brett Fesley
With this weather kicking in, definitely seems to be an increase. I just saw. We have a new. We have a new increase of population along the road.
Brady Bogan
Oh, yeah, Right down here.
Brett Fesley
Yeah. Just started now.
John Holmberg
Camp. What are you talking about?
Brett Fesley
New homeless camp.
John Holmberg
Oh, oh, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Start. Well, they moved them, so they had to fight. They used to be along the freeway. They got kicked out, and now they're up on the wall. Actually, it's been. We. Amy and I watch this every Thursday. We go by and we've watched the tents diminish down to nothing and start to pop up elsewhere because right along they. They don't go far. They're walking. So now they're up on 52nd Street. There's a whole house there. There's like the lady. Because Saturday I saw it. There's tons of them. There's like, beautiful.
Brady Bogan
Like she built onto her house.
John Holmberg
She added on. She's got the cart full of stuff.
Brady Bogan
Renovations.
John Holmberg
I think that's the bedroom. Little hibachi.
Brett Fesley
She was cleaning this morning.
Brady Bogan
Yes, she was. She was unclean when I came by.
Brett Fesley
Yeah, a little wired up.
John Holmberg
Yeah. So. Yeah, you send out a reporter. We need you on 27th Avenue in Osborne. Why? Is there a lottery winner? Come on, there's a shooting. Oh, right.
Brady Bogan
She should have just. Jim crossed it and just been hiding in the closet going, yeah, yeah, Jim.
John Holmberg
I'm out here where there's inevitably a shooting. I haven't spoken to anyone yet, but you sent me to 27th Avenue at Thomas Means. There's a shooting or a stabbing, dead Mexican in the vicinity. We'll find out exactly where that is in a second. I'll get back to you. Until then, Jim Cross, go yourself. Formerly of KTR News.
Brett Fesley
Cross loves it.
John Holmberg
Yeah, Cross doesn't have to go there anymore.
Brett Fesley
What a dumb, dumb. Quite out there.
John Holmberg
I'm not going out there. Hey, Cross, when he's doing 27th and Thomas. Oh, okay. Sharp. Hey, by the way, real quick, go yourself. No, I retire.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, we just got a confirmation from a cop. It is a stabbing in the neck. Somebody got stabbed in the neck.
John Holmberg
You know, that's the only mystery.
Brady Bogan
I didn't grab the body part, but.
John Holmberg
The only mystery was where. Yeah, and I'm guessing carotid or jugular. Yeah, those are the. He's going for arteries, right? That means he was in jail for a little while. Jail guys know to cut the arteries. They don't cut. They don't slice you in the tummy or the arm. Amateurs. Of course. 27th Avenue. They're going for your neck and your inner thigh.
Brady Bogan
Those are the professionals over there on 27th Avenue.
John Holmberg
And they're not carrying knives like you think. Like it's. You know, the bad video. They're going at you with a little tiny thing that sticks out barely past their index finger. And they go to slicer. Come on. 27th Avenue. They're professional.
Brett Fesley
Well, you know, it's been nice. I didn't hear anything over the weekend about any bodies missing or anything in East Mason yet.
Brady Bogan
See, of course, because this is. It's not on the avenue.
John Holmberg
They'll find one in Hawes trail. Trust me. He was there for a long time on the avenues. And he talked to a lot of people. He had a good alibi going, that's a good drive. I remember I picked my Jeep up once at Bill Luke, and I left and I crossed Camelback, and I turned on, like, 22nd Avenue or something like that. I'm going up, and my buddy. My cop buddy Ben, for whatever reason, called me. He had a question about something. And I'm talking to him because, what are you doing? And I'm like, I'm driving around, but I just. I got kind of screwed up. I'm in a neighborhood. And he goes, where? Because I told him where I was, and I said, I'm like, Where am I? 23rd. And what is this, Monte Bello? I don't know. I don't know those streets. And he goes, get out of there. I'm like, what are you talking about again? It's daytime, Ben. He goes, I don't care. Get out of there. Like, really? And he goes, bullets just fly around over there. I'm like, all right, I'll leave. That's right. The cops are always over. That's terrifying. What are you doing in there? Get out of there. Get on a main street. I'm like, okay, let me see your dumb white ass driving around looking for. What's the next road? Just have a sign in your head that says I'm dumb. It's true, by the way. This is my favorite thing that's going on. And I'm not, like, politically. I just, like. Again, once again, I'm here for the show. I'm here for the laughs. I'm here for the entire. The meltdown of this weird simulation that we're in. Elon Musk just told everybody at this department that hasn't been coming to work. I don't know which department it is. You guys haven't been showing up to work. You've been working from home. So write me a page. It was an email.
Brett Fesley
So respond.
John Holmberg
Yeah, write a page. Respond to an email that basically says, what'd you get accomplished in the last seven days? What'd you get done?
Brett Fesley
What'd you do this week?
John Holmberg
People are like, ah, I'm not answering that. Are you crazy? That's proof you're not doing anything. If you're mad about, like, if my boss says, hey, could you. I haven't been here for a couple weeks. Just fire off a little memo. What you got done in the last five days? Like, sure knocked out the best morning show in the city. Continually. Number one. Once again, for five solid days. Four and A half hours of quality entertainment performed every morning. You're welcome, John. That's an easy letter for me. I don't have to. Well, what do you need that for? Because that's proof your. Your job is pointless. If you're worried about how hard is.
Brett Fesley
That to respond, it's so.
John Holmberg
But they're. Now they got lawyer. Like, if you get a lawyer because your boss says, hey, can you write a note and tell me what you do? I'm good with people. It's like, oh, you're gonna get fired.
Brett Fesley
I understand if it is that. If it's the point that is like, they're saying, if you don't respond. And it wasn't for this one. It was another one, that means you're. You're fired.
John Holmberg
Okay, then you're fired. If you don't respond to, what have you gotten done around here?
Brett Fesley
I see that being the.
John Holmberg
If Trip came to you, what exactly is it you do here? And you're like, that's not fair. Like, you're fired. Like, why is that unfair? Bosses do that all the time.
Brett Fesley
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And trying to justify why you aren't at the off. I can't. I don't know. You work from home. Send me a few things. Show me you're producing. Like, that's all. If you're producing, you know who didn't throw the fit killers, the ones that are rocking it. Whatever that job is. Like, oh, I got this.
Brady Bogan
27Th Avenue.
John Holmberg
So I was like, well, come on. Well, ask them, what have you gotten done this week? Well, I killed two guys on Sunday. Last week. I took a. It was. It was a slow week. I'm not gonna lie to you, boss. It was a slow week. I only killed two at the Quick Drip. Yeah, I mean, that's an easy one. Oh, it's just garbage for to have your boss ask, what world do we live in now? Where when a boss says, what exactly did you get done in the last week? You hire a lawyer, and somehow or another, half the country's on your side. You can't ask an employee what he's doing at home and not going, when did this all change? I don't think it's too much for a boss to go. No more working at home. And you can't fight that. You should go to work. If they tell you to go to work, you go to work. You hire a lawyer. Whenever your boss says, hey, anything other than blow me, you shouldn't hire a lawyer. Like, I just. That's proof that you're probably expendable which we all are, by the way.
Brett Fesley
Is it out of the principle that. Wait a minute, Musk. Why are you asking this? You're not our boss.
John Holmberg
Okay? He's. He's asking all the people involved don't care now, cuz. It starts off under the directive of the President of the United States. I have been charged with asking this question for all you people who are working at home. What'd you get done the last week? Now, I understand you might feel like it's invasive and you might not like it, and it might be one of those things where you put your hands on your hips and go, this prick. Who does he think he is? But that's a boss. We all do that. Doesn't matter who your boss is. If Tripp's like, all right, everybody write an essay on what you got done this week. We'd all muttered, what a dick. And making us write what we do all week. He sees what we do. But while we're doing it, we'd be writing, yeah, I did this and I got that. Because we're not stupid.
Brady Bogan
Turn on the radio, Trip.
John Holmberg
Right, There you go. That's what I did. You know where to find me, you son of a bitch. Like, you're gonna get fired for that. And you should. I don't know when it became so okay to tell your boss the things he wants you're not gonna do. And then lawyers will back you up.
Brett Fesley
How dare you.
John Holmberg
Unless it's a blowjob or, you know, one of those Justin Tuck deals. I don't get it, but there's like a is all over tv.
Brett Fesley
Yeah, but I was just.
Brady Bogan
Everybody or is it the work from home people? Is that what they're going for?
John Holmberg
I think it's everybody, but they're really leaning in on the work from. Because there's certain groups just don't go to work. Like there's certain like, like full on groups. I don't know what I'm not going to even venture into. If it's USAID or whatever. I don't know what branch it is, but they're just not there. There was something on yesterday morning where they were walking through. They said, this office is where I work. You might notice there's like 60 different desks and no one's in them. And this is the way it's been since 2020 and nobody's coming back. And we're trying to ask them to come back and we're met with lawsuits. Please come to work. No, you pay me well. No. One of the requirements now at work is that you actually show up. That's not fair. I'm not sure. Well, can you at least write down what you've done in the last few days? No. All right. You're not doing anything, are you? Of course I am. Then just write down what it is you do. Now, this is why I admire the blue collar worker. All these Lego men that walk past us every morning in our parking lot, they have to wear helmets. They make them park a mile away from the job site, and they have to walk past our building every morning. And when I'm pulling in, there's a gaggle of them. And I started to wonder this morning, why are you all in helmets? You're not at work yet. You're somewhere between the parking spot they gave you on 52nd of McDowell and you gotta walk all the way to the freeway. Basically, it's a mile that they make them walk. And I'm like. I asked the one guy, I'm like, how come you all have to wear your helmets walking? Because technically, once we park, we're at work. That's an OSHA violation for us not to wear our hats. Like, no kidding. So they're basically doing something stupid. Their boss has told them, and guess what? They all did it. Cause you know why? If they don't, they get fired. It may be stupid, but let's say one of them falls down and cracks.
Brett Fesley
His head on the job.
John Holmberg
On the job. So the. The company's covering their ass. The first dude that goes, I'm not doing that. That's dumb. All right, well, we're not going to risk it with you. You're an idiot. Goodbye.
Brady Bogan
Somebody says, it's not an essay. It's just five to seven bullet points in reply.
Brett Fesley
Five things you did.
John Holmberg
If you can't rattle off five lies of what you got done last week that you can kind of back up a little bit, you're not doing anything. I mean, that's. I'm not a manager, but if I was managing, I'd be like, hey, give me five things you did this week. Just to, you know, like, simple kindergarten exercise. What are five things you love about your mom? Here's five things you did last week. That's it.
Brett Fesley
I saw. I think it was. It was Fox. Jim Jordan was on, and he was talking that exact point. He's like, here's what I did last week.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett Fesley
And he rattled off, it's really that big deal.
John Holmberg
But, yep, my job. Like, I got a lot done last week. I went back, I got all the Endorsement stuff. I wrote spots for early, which is very rare for me, but I had a couple minutes extra. I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna get this one done. And life changer I'm gonna get done. I'm gonna write these. I'm gonna have them in the hopper as a lot of times when I get a few minutes extra, etc, I'll write commercials and get those ready for next time. And then you know what really screws me up is when I'm so far ahead that I don't have anything to do, so I just go home. Because you know what? When you go home, that's where you do nothing. And that's kind of what your bosses are thinking.
Brady Bogan
Everybody's bitching multiple people saying, well, it's because Elon isn't their boss.
John Holmberg
Right, but he's under the directive of the president. Okay, I know it's Elon and you don't like it, but again, how hard is this to just comply to? Oh, if you comply to him, what's he gonna do next? He's gonna fire you next. You're gonna find out he's your boss pretty soon. And I get it. You don't like Elon. A lot of people don't like their bosses. Boss comes, you don't like your boss if it's not Elon, and you still don't like your boss, and they wander in there. Maybe the half of ksl X may or may not like David. I don't know. But if he wanders in and says, do this, they're not gonna go, no, you're gonna do what he says because you don't have to like him. Everybody loves Larry. I couldn't use him as an example. I don't know how KSLX's inner politics work, but I can imagine somebody that David's kind of a. He's a louder guy. Maybe somebody rubbed. I don't see it. But maybe he rubs something around and he wanders in and says, hey, Karen, give me five things you did this week. And if she says no, eh, I'm gonna fire you. You gotta listen to your boss.
Brett Fesley
But if he wasn't, you know, I think the point is, like David, who is not overseeing cupd or whatever.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett Fesley
Says to us, tell me five things you did last week.
John Holmberg
Okay, but if. But if. If David hired a guy, people like.
Brett Fesley
Like, I would look at him and say, rattle that off. But if it had something that said, tell me five things you didn't.
John Holmberg
If you don't respond, you're fired. And if it's.
Brett Fesley
I don't think this one had that, though, for them.
John Holmberg
You're going to get fired. Fart. They know what the writing on the wall is. If Larry hired John Gordon to tell us a thing Larry wanted. Okay, yeah, you're not my boss. Yeah.
Brett Fesley
By the way, we brought this guy in here.
John Holmberg
Yeah, this is my assistant and he's here. We have that all the time. We. We've kind of skirted past it, but like these, these idiots that come in for radio, these, you know, usually it's a dude in his late 50s, early 60s who's failed in 40 different markets comes rolling in. He calls himself a consultant, but all he can consult you on how to do is find another job. He should be a resume specialist. But he comes in, he tells you stuff, and you got to kind of listen to him for a second. And then usually they make you do a project. Luckily skirted right by that because they don't understand what the show is or how it works. So they kind of ignore us. But to the ones that are struggling or not doing great, they have to sit in those rooms and do what this guy says. He's not technically employed by anybody here. He gets a.
Brett Fesley
He gets a fee, it looks.
John Holmberg
And if he says, do this, do this, do this, he goes to your boss and he goes, hey, they're not doing it. That's all it comes down to. I just struggle with the idea. Something simple. Now, if Elon came in there and started, you know, knocking stuff off your desk and he's like, all right, you don't even work here. We got to stop. But if it's just like, hey, you're just curious what it is. This guy says, I love it. I'm a field supervisor for a large H vac company. And all the big bosses went home and they were never available, yet they were the ones still getting their big paychecks. Yeah, that's what owning a company is. You may not think anything's fair when you're a low level guy or in middle. Nothing seems fair. This one says, my parents work civil service for 20 plus years. So I can say I have heard literally my entire life jokes about how hard it is to fire government employees. They made a show about it. It's called Parks and Rec. That is true that they do. They do make it impossible to unlock you from that job. I just find it host. I find it to be hysterical that somebody says, hey, could you. Could you just tell me what five things you did this week? No, I'M not gonna do that. Well, is it because you're not doing anything? No. I got loads of stuff I could tell you. Like. Just tell me. No, you're not my boss.
Brady Bogan
Kill you.
John Holmberg
Well, my boss is your boss, and he's asked me to ask you, Lionel. Until he asks me. All right? He's not gonna. And you're fired.
Brady Bogan
Tom says, shouldn't we be happy that our government is cutting costs? If you can't tell me what you do right, then why should my tax dollars pay you? Seems pretty basic.
John Holmberg
Here's the other thing. You can be upset about it, but the country elected a guy whose catchphrase is, you're fired. So it's not that shocking that he's rolling through offices with some other dude. Often people. There was a. When we worked at the Zone, Brady, there was a. On. On air. I don't know. They didn't do this to sales, but on air, we had to sit through this dude who didn't even work for the company is. I forget what company. It wasn't Sebastian, but it was this. Some guy came in and he sat down and he made us explain ourselves. It was the most intimidating meeting I've ever been in because I was pretty new. I was like, explain what you do here. I host the. I host the afternoon show. And why is that special? Compare. Well, I mean, and. But your ego doesn't want to step in because I'm effing good at it. You know, you can't say that kind of stuff. So you're like, I don't know. I feel like I do a good job. And I. What is it that you provide the building that no one else can? And I'm sitting there like, who are you? Like, I didn't know him. Yeah, he didn't work there, and he was leaving the next day, and I had to explain myself, this guy. But I felt enough of, like, I like my check back. I'm just gonna play this game for a second and then complain about it later like a decent person. And he went in there, and he was like, clean sweeping. If he didn't like you, you were out. It was almost like speed dating. And he's the one that brought the phrase to the boss later, because this was right before I left about my friend Kevin, who said that he was the biggest combination of ignorance and arrogance that he'd ever seen. And that was when they were trying to get me to come back. I'd say, who are you friends with in this building? Like, Kevin's still there. He's a good friend of mine. Kevin's the biggest combination of ignorance and arrogance we've ever seen. He won't be there much longer. This is not a good pitch, is this if you want me to come back firing the guy I like, probably not the best thing. Yeah, I get it. You don't like it. But there's something. Something. Check out homework's morning sickness podcast@98kupd.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. I just kind of remember a time when you could hate your boss, but you had to go. You had to kind of do what he said. That's kind of gone away. And I blame Google for that. And they built everybody beanbags and pinball machines and stuff and said, you guys take breaks whenever you want. When I was at Tony Roma's, fist fights almost broke out because smoke breaks became, like, the worst thing in the world for the people who didn't smoke, because smokers would be out there for. I get a. Every four hours. It's government. Government says I get 15 minutes. Smoke break every. Every four hours. We only work, like, five hours. You've taken two smoke breaks. Okay, but I'm. I'm entitled. I'm like, well, I don't smoke, and I'm getting my ass kicked out here. If I just stood out here for 15 minutes while you were in the weeds. No, you don't smoke. I'm like, okay, so I need to take up smoking to get a break, you idiot. Lights. And then bosses had to say, all right, you don't even work eight hours a day. Enough with the smoke breaks. You can't have. Well, we have smoke breaks every 12 to 15 seconds in this building. You look outside, call them download sessions. It's like 1974 in this building. There's so many people standing outside smoking.
Brady Bogan
Like James Bond's smoke screen driving by. I mean, it's bad.
John Holmberg
All you have to do in our building, if you ever hear. If you ever wander into our building, it's our.
Brett Fesley
It's our daily conclaves.
John Holmberg
Yeah, Just stand downstairs and just go, smoke break. And then you'll watch, like, eight or nine people just think, oh, it's smoke break. Like, they can't. They're like Pavlov's dogs. It's crazy. A lot of smoking anyway. Just write the note. It doesn't seem too hard to me. Ah, this is perfect. It's funny how everyone gets pissed off when Elon has all their info. And that's another thing. I was like, they got my information account. But yet do you know what you gave to Apple the second you bought that phone and clicked I accept. So true.
Brady Bogan
Nope. I sure don't just call your info.
John Holmberg
I clicked it because I love this thing. I'm not gonna say who this is. It says my staff's been working from home for four years. Barely even knew each other. It's crazy. I made it mandatory that the report to the office starting January 22nd made every single employee fill out a form to tell me what exactly their daily and weekly and monthly deal is. I've met one on one with all of them. There's been some employees who have had to go. I'm not keeping anyone who doesn't work hard and aligned with my mission. You sound like a boss lady. That's what a boss would say. I want you in charge of my EM50 project. It's just weird. I also saw a thing this week, and they're trying to build a statue. Donald Trump wants to build a statue to Muhammad Ali. Man, I didn't know this, but that pisses Muslims off, like, in a huge way. Because you're not supposed to, like, do statues of Muslims.
Brady Bogan
That's probably why he's doing it, which is.
John Holmberg
That was my thought, you know, we're gonna build one of Muhammad Ali. Muhammad right here. A statue that says Muhammad. And I watched a guy who's reaction.
Brett Fesley
Where do they want to put it?
John Holmberg
I don't know. Probably. Yeah, probably in the Louisville lip. Because, you know, the whole Muhammad statue in Louisville gonna get lost in a lot of people. But I watched a guy get asked. I wrote down what he said because I couldn't believe his answers. Like, the dude asking the question was a little bit like, oh, it's jarring. I didn't realize that even prominent Muslims weren't allowed to have statues. And the dude. Dude looked at the camera. He looked normal. He looked at the camera and he goes, praise be to Allah. Praise be to Allah. And peace and blessings upon the messenger of Allah and his family. That's not an answer to, can we build a statue? That's crazy talk. Lighten up. Pull the stick out of your ass. And just. And then another dude said, we can't rise. Like, it. It makes any image of a statue.
Brett Fesley
Of that putting that person above.
John Holmberg
What makes you try to be Allah?
Brett Fesley
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Like, you're like, it's a. It's an image of you being Allah. Plus, the word Muhammad threw him a little bit too. Like, that's the most common name they got. But they love that. But you're not supposed to have that. Which I think is why Trump is like, you know, we're gonna build a bunch of those. We could have 30 or 40, probably 50 statues of Muhammad Ali everywhere you go. And pretty much an amazing. So like, a line of them statue.
Brett Fesley
And call it Cassius Clay.
John Holmberg
Oh, then you're pissing off the Muslims again. Because that wasn't his name. That's his slave name. So that would make him mad because he didn't. Two reasons you're mad there is because he abandoned that name. And remember how mad he used to be? Call me Muhammad. Don't call me Clay. Like, and then guys that would call him Clay would get their asses kicked for, like, six rounds before he decided to knock him out. Yeah, you can't do the Cassius Clay one because that's not. That's against his family. His. His wife and family were like, no, statues. Don't even. Don't even smack that beehive. And sure enough, you ask one dude, can we do it? Praise be to Allah. Allah. Praise be, like Jesus Christ. Just say, no, thank you. There's a reason why everybody's a little sketchy around you guys. Can't even ask you a simple question about honoring one of your own. You start screaming some sort of war.
Brett Fesley
Chant at me, you know, And I understand if we're, you know, saying, well, we're using your tax dollars to build this statue.
John Holmberg
Yeah, no, that's a reasonable answer. It's stupid, but it's a reasonable answer. Where instead of praise be to Allah. Allah. This is why we don't talk to you guys. Although it did just now. Give me an idea. You want a scary basketball team to roll into an arena the way BYU is, you know, all Mormons and Notre Dame pretends to be all Catholic. You have an all Muslim school, breaks out with the sports, and that crowd comes rolling in. There's some intimidation involved in that.
Brett Fesley
People waving bacon the air.
John Holmberg
Well, both sides. I don't want to be in there with all those dudes in those weird outfits. And, like, those metal detectors work. I mean, the first thing I'm thinking, you call yourselves, like, the Bombers or something crazy, like, good nickname. But you can't have statues, so you could never be a Kareem Abdul Jabbar, which is there. There's no Kareem in front of the Staples center as Magic and Kobe and Chick Hearn. Yeah, that's. Yeah, they never built one for him either, so. So I guess they stick to it. But just, you know, Muslims, lighten up. Somebody Wanted to do something nice for you and started screaming Allah's name and Muhammad this and messenger of Allah. We don't understand that. Can I build you a statue? No, thank you. Why? It's against our religion. Okay. At least Jehovah's Witnesses tell you. Nah, we don't do that. We don't celebrate birthdays. You can ask them why and they'll tell you, but they don't start shouting, you know, biblical stuff at you. No.
Brady Bogan
There is a Kareem.
Brett Fesley
That's what I was wondering.
John Holmberg
There's a Kareem. Yeah. I always thought there was a skyhook stack. Yeah, well, then screw it. Build as many Muhammads as you want. Where was Praise be to Allah guy when they put up the Kareem statue? He had to be for that.
Brett Fesley
Right out front. Sixteen and a half feet tall.
John Holmberg
It's 60ft.
Brett Fesley
Sixteen and a half.
John Holmberg
I was gonna say that's a six story, Careem. Yeah, there it is right there. I know. They have a whole bunch of statues out there. Well, if you built a Kareem, you can build a Muhammad. This dude lost his sitting there with two people. Trump wants to build a statue. Why can't he? Jesus, he's gonna blow something up. You don't want to do it. So they're just like, screw it, we won't do it. They're too edgy. But, yeah, Kareem. What? Why don't we.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Everybody needs lightning up. The Mormon chant wasn't so bad, but if you did have. If you had, like, if the Utah Utes suddenly went Muslim. Can you imagine the rivalry between the Utes and the Cougars up there in Utah when you have all those dudes looking like they're straight out of the seventh century? And the crowd. Their curtain of distraction is wildly scary. Everybody turn your eyes to the curtain of destruction. Oh, crap. Christ. The curtain of distraction is two towers. I see what they're doing. Oh, they're shoving a horn in Moroni's ass, these guys. The streets will flow with the blood of the BYU Cougars. Okay, we get it.
Dick Toledo
Breaking tablets at every free throw.
John Holmberg
You worship a false prophet. Okay? You brought religion to the basketball court.
Brett Fesley
Evidently, in England it's okay because it says there's a Muhammad Ali statue. And they got Ali over there. There.
John Holmberg
Sure enough, there it is.
Brady Bogan
Wow.
John Holmberg
I threw a huge fit about this.
Brett Fesley
It's got to be the location or something. Maybe it's.
John Holmberg
I don't know. But they don't like it. And I was reading about it, too. It Says it's forbidden to make statues, whether the statue is of a Muslim or as a disbeliever. Whoever does that is trying to match the creation of Allah and thus deserves to be cursed. I'll take the statue and your fake curse. That's sick. You want to build a statue of me and you know you're cursed now? It's like, man, have you seen my nose? I was cursed from start.
Dick Toledo
How many years I got?
John Holmberg
I mean, what am I gonna do? 12, 13 more years of this curse? Have you seen my face? Well, no, I understand you are a Jew. No, no, I'm not even that. I'm not cursed that way either. I'm just.
Brett Fesley
And where do you draw the line? What about wax? Because there's a wax.
John Holmberg
There's a wax figurine.
Brett Fesley
Yeah. Is it?
John Holmberg
What you're saying, Brady, is those Muslims are sort of inconsistent. Our building's gonna explode a little bit. You know that, right?
Brett Fesley
We made the list.
John Holmberg
We're on the list for sure. I don't care. I just don't get it. Build a statue of Muhammad Ali. I think it's brilliant. Wasn't he the one always saying he was the greatest?
Brett Fesley
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Isn't that kind of offensive to Allah? I'm the greatest of all time. Well, that counts as Allah anyway. Yeah. I wonder where they're gonna put it. But it was a simple conversation. I've never seen anybody answer like that before. And that led me to think, all right, put him on a list. You simply don't answer. Can we build a statue of one of your guys with praise be to Allah and all the powers that be. And Allah? I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yes or no question here. Where are we going? 728. Bert, what do you got on the big, beautiful, beautiful, brand new Action Ride Shop board of Musical Treat.
Brady Bogan
That's right. Action Ride Shop. Bringing it to you guys. And of course, with two locations now, the brand new location out there at power Road and McDowell for all your biking needs. And of course, the OG right there on Southern and Gilbert, still there. And that's where you get your biking and Snow needs. So actionrideshop.com is where you're going to want to go to get all the details on that. And on our list, religious cancer from Nail bomb.
John Holmberg
Oh, that's for Pizza Ball.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. Lamb of God, Drowning Pool, Bad Religion, Megadeth, Ozzy, Metallica, White Zombie Slayer, Parkway Drive, Anthrax, System of a Down. And then Megadeth's Reckoning Day for Elon's emails.
John Holmberg
I just think it's easy. Like, I know people hate it, so they're just. They're fighting back simply based on politics. But if I don't even care if it's like just some stranger at Postino says, I'll give you a free meal if you write down five things you did this week. I'm like, you're not my boss. You're not getting a free meal. It's like, this seems easy. There's some good ones up there, by the way, for those of you who want to feel like you're a thousand. Yesterday marked the 37th anniversary of Metallica's release of the song One. And do the John math on that. Go back 37 years from that. And Elvis was an unknown. Nobody had heard of Elvis outside of Mississippi, except his mama. There goes Mama. His mama and his daddy. His daddy never gets mentioned. 37 years prior to one coming out, Elvis was just a speck. Nobody had any idea. And we are now at the time now where 37 years have passed since. Since Metallica's one came out. That was yesterday.
Brett Fesley
Crazy.
John Holmberg
I know. It's nuts, right? It is nuts. It's. Yeah, you start. It's.
Brett Fesley
I don't like your math.
John Holmberg
I know. My math always does horrible stuff to people. Just take the time past, subtract it from that first date that you just did, and see where it was. The big one was. The was the people born in 1971. If you take that time that has passed, it's like 1917 or 16 or something like that. It just makes you. It just like the Titanic had just sunk. It was like, what? Same amount of time.
Brett Fesley
Oh, five.
John Holmberg
What?
Brett Fesley
I go back 60 years.
John Holmberg
Oh, for your name. Yeah. Yeah. 60 to 60. Oh, geez. Yeah. You don't want that. Don't start doing that. Boston still had its molasses factor.
Dick Toledo
Yeah.
John Holmberg
This is happening yet. Or they had to run from syrup. We'll do it. It's Reckoning Day. Just write the letter. Calm down and write the letter and about it out loud later. It's Megadeth. Work smarter, not harder. It's Reckoning Day. It's your Wake up song. It's 98.
Dick Toledo
It's not weird.
John Holmberg
It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this. Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Emails, people barking back and forth about that. Elon email. He's not your boss. I'm like, I. I know. I get it. I get I get your angry at it, but.
Dick Toledo
But companies hire outside auditors all the time.
John Holmberg
That's the thing that I'm like, okay, then don't do it.
Brett Fesley
Right.
John Holmberg
I'm not saying you have to. I'm saying it seems simple. It seems like a hill not to die on. Andre says, I like how you said if your boss asked you to send you an email response about what you've done this week, but you see, you seem to miss the point. Elon's not anybody's boss. If my boss told Larry or Brady to email out and say, hey, Tripp wants everybody to do this, do it. Besides, somebody did send me the email. It kind of is. Prove you're not a robot. Yeah, it basically even says, just respond. But, you know, I don't know all the details. Andre said there's government workers who have no access to their email account and wouldn't be able to respond. You're a relatively smart man, but you gaslight yourself anytime you try to make sense of the utter train wreck of this administration. Facts. Our worker productivity has increased over the years now that people work from home. That wasn't true here, that's for sure. I'll tell you that. That was not true in this building. And it also was not true in the other buildings that Trip's in charge of. Up there in Seattle, he made everybody go back to work because that was my friend who runs the bank. He's like, I can't get people to come back in. He goes, once we got them back in there, things start. Started to chirp and churn a little better. And maybe, right, maybe it is better if people work from home. But if the boss says, I don't like it, you gotta. You sometimes just have to eat that, right? You can sit and tell, hey, Brett, wasn't it better when we were working from home? I was getting a lot more done. Maybe boss doesn't like it that way. That's my point. I don't care who it is. Boston is assistant. We've got Susie here. She's not my boss, but when she tells me to do stuff, I do it because guess what? She's a chun of my boss.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
John Holmberg
She definitely is a chunk of my boss. Technically, the only real boss I have is a lady named Jenny who owns the company. But she's appointed Tripp to do her bidding for the company here. So I listen to him soon enough to listen to her because I know if I'm talking to her about anything I'm not doing. I'm not in A good place.
Brett Fesley
Actually, it's last.
John Holmberg
If I ever went in there and told Trip. Look, jackass, you're just an appointed member of Jenny's staff. You're technically not my boss. Oh, really? Guess what. Neither's Jenny anymore. What? Now you don't have a boss at all? Congratulations. You're freelance. I'm just thinking this seems like an easy end around and I'm always looking for that. I need to make my day a little easier. The old Bill Murray gets. Get off my back question. Sergeant Holka, you get his big toe. And I'm not justifying it as the greatest thing of all time. I'm just saying this one seems easy. You can hate Elon all day long. You can hate Trump all day long. Answer the email. If you don't have access to your email and you're a government employee, I gotta ask why.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, call. Call it.
John Holmberg
Yeah, that seems like.
Brady Bogan
Doesn't seem too well.
John Holmberg
I can't get government email anymore. My government job. Job. I guess I just won't say anything if you don't have access to your emails. As a government employee. I got a couple questions. I just. I'm using this one example. I'm not justifying. Everything's great. On one.
Brett Fesley
They use the mail.
John Holmberg
That one's going to get chopped up again. Leave the mailman alone. Don't go after the postal service because, boy, you want to talk about what waste. But you pissed that group off. They've been real calm for a long time. That's kind of like when they say that again, back to volcanoes. When they say it's active. We haven't seen a lot of activity, though. But at any moment it could. It's still an active one. That's the postal service to me.
Brett Fesley
You need to bring that term back.
John Holmberg
Yeah. There's no reason to like. Is there any lava in here? Don't. Going postal went away. There's a whole generation of people who don't know what that is. And that's a good thing. And I like you. Post office people. Male people. Male men. I don't think. Male women. Male women. Male women's a big thing. Transvestites. I don't want to make the male people mad. I like my mailman. He's very cool. I'm gonna keep it that way. Remember when I went on that rampage about how mail men weren't really trying that hard anymore? They were walking around in untucked shirts that hadn't been washed in weeks. Could we. Could we pick it up to where it doesn't look like a hobo's walking up to my door every day. And evidently, that caused a meeting at the postal service. I got an email from, guys, thanks a lot, Dick. Can't wear my tank top and deliver mail anymore. I'm like, yeah, I was actually doing that for you. And then what was it? Ice. Ice Cube? No, it was Ice Tea. Said he was gonna shoot that Amazon guy because he didn't have any uniform on. So, yeah, it's like this dude just walking up with boxes to my front door. I'm gonna kill him. And he warned Amazon, if you don't put him in uniforms. I don't know. Don't have those vests. Yeah, some dude just got out of an Impala, pulled a box out of the trunk, and walked towards my house. I'm like, this is weird. I don't like this. You can still go buy an Amazon vest and fool me to at least make the effort.
Brady Bogan
You'd make a great Nazi, John. Don't question what people tell you to do. Just do it.
John Holmberg
I would. How often have I said that? I'm not fighting and it's not Nazism. It's. He's not. This is an email. Let's not jump to the immediate Hitler comparisons for an email you don't like to answer. If they told me, you know, hey, we all get in line, we all hate the Jews now, I'd be like, yeah, I don't think that's right. I think I'd be enough. People would stand up with me. But I'll tell you this. If it seemed like the whole world was complying with that idea, I'd step in line. I'm not going down. I'd be against it. But not standing on top of a building with a sign that says, the majority is stupid. You're gonna kill me. So, yeah, answer the email. Okay.
Brett Fesley
Eventually, you have to do the training videos.
John Holmberg
They said, oh, God, now we get those. That was a whole group that didn't really work here. We put together training videos for like, you're not my boss. Get out. You're out. Look here, sugar, you don't tell me who to harass.
Dick Toledo
Let me see if I'm understanding this.
John Holmberg
And by the way, back to the Nazi comparison, Do you sexually harass people at work?
Brady Bogan
No.
John Holmberg
No. But you would do it if it was allowed, wouldn't you? But it's not because they asked you. No. You would. If it was allowed. You'd do it if it was allowed. You'd go up and you'd Say you got a nice set of. I'm gonna take you out for a steak. You would do it if it was allowed. People would do it if it was allowed. You would. You would date a co worker if you were attracted to them? If it was allowed. Absolutely. It was.
Dick Toledo
Date is different than sexually harassed just going up.
John Holmberg
No, it was allowed.
Dick Toledo
Like a couple of former co workers in this building.
Brett Fesley
I don't.
John Holmberg
Yeah, but they make a rule that says no. I'm not saying you're attacking. That's a physical attack. I'm not saying physically attack. I'm saying nice ass. Like, if it was allowed, there wouldn't be sexual harassment to know about. If it was just verbal, it used to be a thing. They created sexual harassment rules and everyone fell in line. So I guess you make a nice Nazi to. It's the rules you choose to follow are righteous and everything else. I just. I'm going to answer the email.
Dick Toledo
So let me see if I'm understanding this correctly. The guy on the radio who doesn't wear underwear to work gets to make fun of other people's work attire.
John Holmberg
Wait a minute. What is that? I don't know what that is. Look, I was clean. I was clean. Yeah, that's all I was asking. There was a couple. Look like they've been rolling around in dirt for, like, pig pen. Delivering my mail is like, can we spruce it up a little bit? I thought this was Cliff Clavin was proud of the uniform.
Dick Toledo
I remember seeing, thinking somebody hacked into our mailbox. Somebody drove up in a Subaru, gets out, pops open the thing. I'm like, what's going on here? It was the mail guy in his own car.
John Holmberg
Yeah, my dude was for a while there. Unbuttoned tank top. The sweat stains in his armpits were white. Like they were salt. Like. Like he dis the one that listened.
Dick Toledo
And told you he cleaned up.
John Holmberg
No, no, no. That was the dude I was complaining about. And somebody else emailed and said, you made it so we have to tuck our shirts in. Like, well, yeah. What's wrong with, like, be clean? That's all. You're visiting people's doorsteps every day. Look, if I was walking around hoboey and my job was to entertain you on your doorstep every day, I'd put an effort in. Yeah, I don't wear underwear, but nobody knows that until I tell you ours.
Brett Fesley
If there's a car parked five feet within the mailbox, you're not getting your mail.
Dick Toledo
Well, yeah.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, he just drives by, just skips It. You got those community apartment boxes? Yeah.
Brett Fesley
Well, no, they're. You have. Have your individual mailbox.
Dick Toledo
You do?
Brett Fesley
Oh, yeah. And so.
John Holmberg
Oh, at the end of the street.
Brett Fesley
And if there's a car in the.
John Holmberg
Way, he's just skipping it.
Brett Fesley
Yep.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett Fesley
She.
John Holmberg
Oh, it's a female man.
Brett Fesley
Yeah.
John Holmberg
That's a good one.
Brett Fesley
You're not getting mail today.
John Holmberg
Hey, wait. I'm right here. Typical government.
Dick Toledo
Throw a finger up.
John Holmberg
Typical government employee. Not going out of my way. You. I want my mail. You're not my boss. You. But I'm your boss. Oh, well, I just find it hysterical, that's all. Don't, you know, do whatever you want. Don't yell at me. I can have an opinion too. You don't want to answer the email. You think it's stupid. That's good. I gotcha. I just think it's an easy one. It's not a hill to die on. Now they start making, you know, do stuff every single day. It's like, this is excessive. Toxic work environment. They got rules for that. This is nothing. Part of having a government job. It kind of stinks. As great as it is, it also kind of stinks. It's time now for Brady and his government job. Ass. You loser. What have you done? What have you done? Five days. Write it down. I went to via check. These are not things at work to be at shack. Twice last week he did do five things. I watched a rugby match. Never seen that before. That was neat.
Brett Fesley
Yeah. Meals counted, man. I had a busy week.
John Holmberg
You gave us 15 pages of things you did. I thought things I cooked and I did a London broil that took two days. That's on there. That's page 8, 9 and 10.
Brett Fesley
Busy.
John Holmberg
You gave us the whole recipe, right?
Brett Fesley
Well, you asked what I did.
John Holmberg
That's a fun one. Do that. Give me five things that you did at work this week. Just. Just crush them. Do like 30 pages. No one's reading it anyway. I find it all so silly. I'm here for the laughs. It's time for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. Brady, report it.
Brett Fesley
Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix.
John Holmberg
Hello, world. Hi, Happy.
Brett Fesley
I hate cilantro day.
John Holmberg
I love cilantro. I'm on the other side.
Brett Fesley
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Some people say it tastes like soap. And I understand that it is a complete divide down the middle. You either hate it or you love it. I am a lover. It.
Brett Fesley
Technically they say I hate coriander.
John Holmberg
I don't know what that means.
Brett Fesley
The leaves are cilantro and the Seeds.
John Holmberg
And that's just annoying.
Brett Fesley
Or coriander. But it's also national trading card day, too.
John Holmberg
There's something. Something. Check out H's Morning Sickness podcast at 98kupd.com H's Morning Sickness. And did you see the Victor Wembanyama card? The rookie card?
Brett Fesley
No.
John Holmberg
Some. I think somebody spent like 400,000 or $500,000 on Victor's card. I can't remember what the number was.
Dick Toledo
Current cards are worth that much.
John Holmberg
The rookie. The rookie for Wimby is. I don't know why.
Dick Toledo
You go to that place where you guaranteed a $5,000 card or something.
John Holmberg
Right? City. No, no, no. That's different.
Dick Toledo
Oh, that's different.
John Holmberg
No, this is. Somebody bought this, like, in a thing, like a Victor's rookie card. Just went crazy.
Brett Fesley
Talked to a collector last week, and he buys the rookie card the year before. If they go to the playoffs, that rookie card, you know, turns around. You make 30, 40% on that card.
Dick Toledo
Capitalize while the market's hot.
Brett Fesley
Yep. With being I Hate Cilantro Day, they asked the question, do you hate any of these beloved foods? Like, they gave an example. Cheeseburger. 5% of people surveyed said they hate them.
John Holmberg
Can't be friends.
Brady Bogan
Communists.
John Holmberg
Yeah, communist. Now you're. Now you're talking Nazis. You don't need cheeseburgers because you don't like them.
Brett Fesley
5% did.
John Holmberg
And what way vegan?
Brett Fesley
That's the only thing I can think of.
John Holmberg
I mean, I'm leaving it up to you to solve this mystery. The only thing I can think of is you, kid. You don't have a mouth. You have to eat intravenous sushi.
Brett Fesley
18.
John Holmberg
I see why people wouldn't like it. I love it, but not all of it.
Brett Fesley
Popcorn. 4%. 41 said it's just okay.
John Holmberg
Popcorn.
Brett Fesley
Yeah.
John Holmberg
41.
Brett Fesley
Yeah. Burritos.
John Holmberg
Pretty good. 4% don't like it.
Brett Fesley
Yep.
John Holmberg
Depends on the burrito.
Brett Fesley
Ramen.
John Holmberg
4% again, I don't go out of my way for ramen, but I'll take.
Brady Bogan
It or leave it.
John Holmberg
Yeah. I don't hate it.
Brady Bogan
Yeah. But people make such a big deal about it.
John Holmberg
Yeah. I don't like the hype. You give me a bowl of ramen, I'm like, all right, I feel poor because I just associate ramen with 10 cents a box and not the good stuff. I know there's good ramen restaurants, but. Nah.
Brett Fesley
Couple of basis fun facts. There was a team that only lasted for one game in the NFL.
John Holmberg
A team?
Brett Fesley
Yep. The Tonawanda Card X lumberman from Tonawanda, New York. Joined the NFL 1921. Lost 45 to nothing to the Rochester Jeffersons and disbanded.
John Holmberg
The Jeffersons were a football team. Where's he go deep. It's the last time I'm asking you, Bentley. Mr. J. I don't know how to run the ball all. God damn it, Bentley. Run end around. Bentley. You've been doing us all your life.
Brett Fesley
The Guinness world record for the most keys removed from a key ring by a parrot is 22 in two minutes.
John Holmberg
Only guy I'm scoring around here is Lionel. Can't throw it in you crackers. Go deep, Lionel. Willis, I ain't doing it to you. Block, Willis. You an old lineman if I ever seen one. Joe, watch. Shut up, wheezy.
Brett Fesley
The cheeseburger was invented 1926 at a restaurant called Right Spot in pasadena. The owner's 16 year old son randomly threw a cheese onto a patty on the grill. Then they added it to their menu and called it a cheese hamburger.
John Holmberg
Right. You say that with a smile like it's like we went to the movie moon. Look at how happy for him.
Brett Fesley
That's the day it all got changed the world.
John Holmberg
And then soon after the industrial revolution really kicked in.
Brady Bogan
The moon may be fake, but the cheeseburger is not.
John Holmberg
That happened. That's why that time you went. I took him to Pasadena once. Pull over. Like why pull over? And he just started kissing the side.
Brett Fesley
Cheese hamburger.
John Holmberg
This is where it happened. With a cheese hamburger was invented. You should know that. All praise and Muhammad. Muhammad.
Brett Fesley
A random.
John Holmberg
Where in Pasadena did it say like I know the name of the place.
Brett Fesley
Yeah, just the name of the place, but didn't say where street was it.
Brady Bogan
Called the Right Spot.
Brett Fesley
Right Spot.
John Holmberg
R I T E. There's only like one main street in Pasadena. The rest of it's just. It's nice. But I mean you got Colorado Boulevard and a few other spots. But I love Pasadena.
Brett Fesley
A poll asks people, where do you brush your teeth?
John Holmberg
In my mouth. Did I wear toothbrushes?
Brett Fesley
No one answered it that way.
John Holmberg
1%.
Brett Fesley
71% say they stand at the sink in front of the mirror.
John Holmberg
I'm sink or shower.
Brett Fesley
20% say they walk around the house.
John Holmberg
Just wandering around brushing their teeth. Huh.
Brett Fesley
3% say they sit somewhere.
John Holmberg
Toilet.
Brett Fesley
An additional 3% said on the toilet.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Nobody said shower.
Brett Fesley
There was brushing. The shower wasn't an option. They didn't put it on there. More people said some reason around three or four.
John Holmberg
I used to get an argument from Megan all the time. That's the dirtiest way to do it by germs. I'm not washing and doing it like. Like a. Why don't you put your toothbrush down in there? Or four feet from here, over on the sink. In the same bathroom. That's dirty. No, it's not. And then I go to the dentist. Like, you're doing a great job.
Brett Fesley
See, there's a college kid in China. It's making the headlines after he accidentally started a fire in his dorm while trying to hide his sex doll from a roommate.
John Holmberg
Was it a real one?
Brett Fesley
Had an inflatable girlfriend. And it was out when his roommate came home. Apparently it's not clear if he was in the middle of a love session.
John Holmberg
I'm betting it was full.
Dick Toledo
Oh, yeah.
Brett Fesley
But he snuck out. He snuck her out into the hallway and tried to destroy the evidence by setting it on. On the fire. You humanized her setting her on fire.
John Holmberg
Oh, in the hallway.
Brett Fesley
Yeah.
John Holmberg
People are gonna notice the hallway filled.
Brett Fesley
With smoke, which set the alarm off. Instead of his roommate finding out everyone did.
John Holmberg
Did. Yeah, that's. People are going to notice you lighting your sex doll on fire in public rather than they would you just hiding it in a closet or something.
Brett Fesley
No one was hurt. Well, caused a ton of damage, though. Luckily it didn't cause a ton of damage, but it just.
John Holmberg
It wait. It did not cause.
Brett Fesley
It did not cause damage. It only. It only damaged his reputation.
Brady Bogan
Oh, thank God for that.
John Holmberg
Just pulled the Duke boys on us. Remember when the Duke boys like you all right, Luke, I'm a little bit hurt. Oh, yeah. Where my pride. And then they move on. Didn't hurt anybody, but. Except his reputation. Yeah, I didn't need a picture of the victim here. Brady just handed me a photo of a second love. I got it. I knew what that victim. Yeah.
Brett Fesley
This gambler in Pennsylvania. 46 year old man won $57,000 Jackpot A at the casino earlier this month. Which is pretty nice. Chunk of change. Yeah, but the guy won't get any of it.
John Holmberg
Why?
Brett Fesley
Because he banned himself from the casino. He did it all on his own. And according to the law, Pennsylvania has a self exclusion list which allows people with gambling problem to block themselves from betting. They can voluntarily ban themselves from casinos, online gaming, and even fantasy sports.
John Holmberg
Gaming, Brady.
Brett Fesley
Gaming. What? I say gaming. Yeah. You can exclude yourself for different amounts of time. Months, years, or forever.
John Holmberg
Do they give him his money back for when he slips in there and goofs?
Brett Fesley
Nope.
John Holmberg
So you can go in and spend money. You just can't win because you've banned yourself and they Won't give you money back.
Brett Fesley
He's not only was he denied the $57,000 jackpot, he was also also cited for trespassing at the casino. Right, because he put himself on that list.
John Holmberg
Then give me my money back. Yeah, give me what I put in. Fair enough. You're right. I did ban myself. I slipped up. I came in, I think you lose your money. That's there's a lawsuit.
Brett Fesley
The other one is the group of people that bought a winning lotto ticket she brought. This is some thieves in France stole the guy's credit card, bought some lottery tickets. One of them hit they have 30 days to turn in the winning ticket. But they know the ticket was bought from a stolen credit card. So the guy that had the stolen credit card said I'll split the winning with the credit card. Stolen that had the credit card, not.
John Holmberg
The guy that had the credit card. Okay, gotcha. He said the owner of the credit card.
Brett Fesley
Yeah. Said to the thieves, we'll split it. We'll split the jackpot. They just have to turn it in.
Brady Bogan
Deal had to be a debit card, cuz you can't. I don't think you can buy lottery tickets.
John Holmberg
I think you can credit card.
Dick Toledo
No, you can't.
John Holmberg
Well, you can't anymore.
Dick Toledo
I usually got to be a debit.
John Holmberg
Card and the machine. I thought maybe. I don't. I don't remember now I just go to jackpocket where I won $11,000 last night. Nice.
Brady Bogan
Congratulations.
John Holmberg
Yeah, Jack Pocket is great. Great. You can do scratchers without making a mess.
Brett Fesley
He said he's working with a lawyer that tells the thieves risk nothing by coming forward. They have 30 days.
John Holmberg
How do they know they won the ticket on the stolen card if they haven't come forward?
Brett Fesley
Well, because the guy found the charges on on him.
John Holmberg
But you don't know that. You don't know that that was.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, that is weird.
Brett Fesley
Well, I guess they can track the. You can track the ticket. Tickets bought on this card.
John Holmberg
The very tickets that did. And he knows that one of them was a winner.
Brett Fesley
Yeah.
John Holmberg
All right.
Brett Fesley
I got a couple of Wild World.
John Holmberg
All right.
Brett Fesley
Hello, my friends. I'm Brady Bogan and this is your Wild Wild World. We got this lady from New England. She had spent three weeks traveling around Thailand, Japan and Hawaii where she swam in the ocean, frequently dined out on salads and sushi, eating fresh seafood. Comes home afterwards, she starts feeling a little fatigue, which she initially simply blamed on jet lag. But then the symptoms got worse. She began experiencing a burning sensation in her feet. Traveled up through her legs. And horrible headache starts coming in. She finally goes to the hospital. Massachusetts General Hospital.
John Holmberg
Endometriosis.
Brett Fesley
Nope. She had rat worms. Comes off of seafood.
Dick Toledo
Or rat worms and seafood.
Brett Fesley
It's a parasitic infection. What happens is they say the rats can eat slugs or slugs can also. Snails. Slugs.
John Holmberg
You're just saying words for you. All right.
Brett Fesley
And sometimes on vegetables. The rat. The rat.
John Holmberg
Warm kids is a problem.
Brett Fesley
Exist on that. Anyway, she got it. Between Thailand.
John Holmberg
I didn't ask for it.
Brett Fesley
Anyway, somebody got it.
John Holmberg
You're skipping so many joiners and just saying a word at a time. Time. Try again. The rat worm.
Brett Fesley
What do you want in.
John Holmberg
You don't know what all of it.
Brett Fesley
And you can get them from.
John Holmberg
You just said words of animals and then said she got it.
Brett Fesley
The rat words are primary. Are the primary hosts of this infection.
John Holmberg
Okay.
Brett Fesley
So snails and slugs can act as an intermediate host.
John Holmberg
How did it get to her? Seafood?
Brett Fesley
From either a rat to the slug.
John Holmberg
She's eating slugs?
Brett Fesley
Yeah. She ate snails.
Dick Toledo
I think you're going the wrong way.
John Holmberg
The rat ate the slug first and she got sick.
Brett Fesley
No. The slug gets it from the rat. Rat scat.
John Holmberg
Slugs eat rat poop.
Brett Fesley
They'll eat them up. They'll gobble it up.
John Holmberg
That's not what you said. You said the rats were eating the slugs. Christ's sake. So the slug she was eating made love to a rat and.
Brett Fesley
Yeah. They're. They're. They're figuring it was from the sn. She was eating snails.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett Fesley
She also ate a lot of sushi so it could come from the raw fish too.
Dick Toledo
So there's three possibilities of working and.
John Holmberg
None of them makes sense. Where'd the rat get involved?
Brett Fesley
They pass it on.
John Holmberg
On to what?
Brett Fesley
Somehow.
John Holmberg
Least possible explored somehow. Is it real rats or is it a rat worm that lives in the sea or something? It's just the name of the parasite. You're just adding the rat lungworm. So it's not.
Brett Fesley
It says from rats. It says while rats are the primary hosts of this infection, snails and slugs can act as an immediate host.
John Holmberg
It has nothing to do with the interaction of slugs and rats.
Brett Fesley
No.
John Holmberg
You made that up.
Brett Fesley
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Okay. That's where we get confused. Brady.
Brett Fesley
In addition to eating raw or uncooked infected snails or slugs, infection can occur. And also eating fruits and vegetables.
John Holmberg
But rats.
Brett Fesley
Land crabs.
John Holmberg
I have it figured out. I think I speak Brady's rat lungworm.
Brett Fesley
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Is its own parasite named rat lungworm mainly because it's found in rats. However, some seafood can obtain rat lungworm. It's like. It's like a deer tick. You're not a deer or a tick, but you can get it. And you didn't get it from a deer or. Brett, give your gun. Give your gun. Shoot me in the face immediately. End this nightmare.
Dick Toledo
All right, so. So you want the Gemini explanation? No, because Brady was right in his.
John Holmberg
Guess that rats do eat slugs.
Dick Toledo
Slugs become infected with a rat lungworm by ingesting the larvae that are passed in the feces of infected.
John Holmberg
So they eat the poop. Okay, you didn't know that, but you nailed one. Nice job.
Dick Toledo
The larvae mature in the slugs, but do not become adult worms yet.
John Holmberg
And then you eat the slugs that evidently aren't like, farmed somewhere. They're just outside. Right. Scooped up by a snow shovel and then thrown into the Red Lobster.
Dick Toledo
Humans get rat lung worm by eating raw or undercooked infected snails or slugs.
John Holmberg
Okay, there we go.
Dick Toledo
Or unwashed vegetables contaminated by the slime of infected snails.
John Holmberg
So snails do eat the poop of a. Of a rat. Nailed it. Correct.
Brett Fesley
Next story is this lady that was weight vacationing in Turks and Caicos.
John Holmberg
Yep.
Brett Fesley
She got in the water about hip high. Three feet high.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett Fesley
Bull shark. Rubs against her leg, circles back around, comes back around, circles. She's after it, bit the. Did the bite and release.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett Fesley
And went back, swam around, looped around and came back. And the second time around, she went in the water, her. Put her arms out to stop chomp. And it chomped the one arm from the forearm down and the other hand missing just from the wrist below.
John Holmberg
Took both her arms on bite.
Brett Fesley
Half an arm and a wrist.
Dick Toledo
And she's handless now.
Brett Fesley
Yes. And her husband went in and basically kicked the shark off when it was attacking her. He, according to the person watching, like, kind of wrestling away, pulled her out of the water. She survived.
John Holmberg
Might have landed a couple kicks on the wife, too. Sure. It was a frenzy, honey. I didn't know what I was doing.
Brett Fesley
That's your wild, wild world.
Dick Toledo
That's his moment.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Dick Toledo
About time. I've been waiting.
John Holmberg
Oh, no. Ow. Stop. No, I can't. There's so much blood in the water. I don't know. I'm just kicking random. I'm sorry. Stop it.
Dick Toledo
I don't know where the shark ends.
John Holmberg
You're connected. I'm just. Look, it's for your own good. Put your face underwater.
Brett Fesley
Got nice thighs.
John Holmberg
Yeah. The shark bit her once and she Stayed in the water. Nobody drug her out. She was only three feet.
Brett Fesley
You're kind of in shock. Came back around really quick.
John Holmberg
It must have been like, immediate.
Brett Fesley
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Okay. Did she get rat, worm, lung. That's right.
Brett Fesley
That lung worm.
Brady Bogan
How'd she get that?
John Holmberg
Well, see, when a rat eats a shark, love each other very much. And then they poop it out. Snails eat that. She could have went to a sushi.
Brett Fesley
Restaurant, ate the shark. They could have gotten the rat longer.
John Holmberg
To a sushi restaurant. Her legs fell off. That's what I think happened.
Brett Fesley
Got a couple of pretty videos.
John Holmberg
Are you done here with this? Yeah, I don't know if I hit the button yet. Okay.
Brett Fesley
First one are some boys dancing. And it looks like a church pew.
Dick Toledo
It does. I think it is.
John Holmberg
It is. I think it might be. Those look very uncomfortable. Those are. Church pew. Is this the.
Brett Fesley
You need the audio?
John Holmberg
Oh, he. Oh, he's totally. The pew goes forward and traps his legs. Bends him back. He's scorpion.
Brett Fesley
Both knees out.
John Holmberg
Oh, he flamingoed him. Only the right direction. Oh, his ankles are pinned. Was this right after. Yeah. Was this right after BYU beat U of A? It went over to church meeting Liam. Oh, my God.
Brett Fesley
Next one, A couple of girls.
John Holmberg
What a group of annoying frat boys that is. I'm actually happy that happened to him. Yeah.
Brett Fesley
A couple of girls doing their.
John Holmberg
Oh, man. Little TikTok energy drink.
Brett Fesley
The powder without the liquid.
John Holmberg
Oh, hot girls. They're doing the shop stupid for the Internet. They're drinking powder energy drinks, and then they start coughing smoke. They think that's hilarious. Now, one goes to her Stanley drinking.
Brett Fesley
She's laughing too hard.
John Holmberg
She's going to start foaming up.
Brett Fesley
I watch the driver side.
John Holmberg
She's going to throw up. One's really hot and the other one isn't. Oh, Jesus. What's happening? They're just puking smoke.
Brett Fesley
Can't breathe.
John Holmberg
Oh, she can't breathe. She's going to die.
Brett Fesley
Yeah, they don't. That's throwing eggs.
John Holmberg
At least once. We don't know. Yeah, at least. At least it wasn't a hot one. Brett's right. The one with the. The little pooch tummy. That's not going the right direction and never will. Nope.
Brady Bogan
Send it down.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Once you have that, it's over. The other one's flat as a bowl. Yeah. What it deserved to be.
Brett Fesley
Last one's in a bar. This guy's playing pool with his girlfriend. Or wife.
John Holmberg
Girlfriend and wife.
Brett Fesley
Or wife. And this dude comes over and smacks. Smacks her.
John Holmberg
Walks over to the wife grabs her ass. It's like, okay, don't. And now the. Oh. And the husband goes over and cleans his drunk clock. That was that guy. That guy is plaster. And he walks over and gives the wife a little tap on the ass. She says, stop. And this dude. Yeah, he goes full forearm, which. That's a fight ender right there. Yep. Lot of mass on that forearm to go across the face. You don't miss. Even if you miss, you're still connecting pretty good. I don't throw enough elbows at tactical black. I always throw fists. I gotta get better about that. That is a game ender right there. He won't be doing that anytime soon. Elon just emailed and said, hey, can Brady send me an email with 5 coherent sentences to make sure that he's still useful in the workplace?
Brett Fesley
I refuse.
John Holmberg
Yeah, you can get all your answers on the next Taiwan Dirty dining episode. I don't.
Dick Toledo
Yeah, Brady, I think you should call rfk. You got the same brain worm.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Did he have rat brainworm? I want to do rfk. And then when I think about it, I'm like, don't. Why? Why? Why wouldn't you want to be part of the whole operation? Brady, you have to go to the doctor immediately, find out what's going wrong with you. I think it's something you have to definitely look into. By the way, if you're at a restaurant, you're like, I know it's not the most expensive place, but they have wonderful snails. Don't eat them. Escargot. I know, but you're not eating discount one. Go to, like, the high end French restaurants. This doesn't sound like a place that has ratworm virus. That's not cooking their snails all the way through. That's a strip mall. French restaurant. Restaurant. That's a place called Pierre's. You don't go in there. Go to a real French restaurant where it's gross and just boiling butter. Have you ever had them?
Brett Fesley
Oh, yes.
John Holmberg
Have you?
Brady Bogan
No, I just can't. I can't.
John Holmberg
You know what it tastes like eating snails? It's gross. You thought you hated the French before. Try one of their snails and have one of them look at you. Oh, you didn't like. No, because it's a bunch bug and it's gross.
Brett Fesley
Stick your little pick in there and then curl it out.
John Holmberg
So gross. And it's just. And you know how you know it's bad is that it is literally in a soup bowl of butter. They're just in there like, well, you're just eating butter. I mean, I could put a sock in slimy too.
Brady Bogan
Or are they?
John Holmberg
Nothing is good about it.
Brett Fesley
No, it's butter. It's just real chewy butter you have.
Dick Toledo
The better they taste.
John Holmberg
Take a clip of fabric off your shirt. Shirt. And drop it in that much butter. And you're going to enjoy that shirt for a second until you realize, I'm eating a shirt. This is gross. And then you swallow like, ugh, the part about swallowing stunk, but the buttery flavor was great. Melt a stick of butter and put some fruity pebbles in it. And they'll be good for a second until you realize, yeah, I'm eating fruity pebbles and butter. They drown those little bastards. But you don't eat like, you know, you don't go to discount Chinese and you don't go to discount French because they're dabbling in too much stuff that can kill you. Yeah, cheap sushi. Terrible idea, terrible idea. Spend. Spend on sushi. The stuff that rides around on the train. Oh, my God. As the plate of fish goes by that third time through, that salmon's done. You're gonna take it.
Brett Fesley
Get that fresh stuff at the gas station.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I don't understand anybody who does that. I wouldn't eat the hot dogs there, let alone the sushi wraps anyway. Brett, your turn.
Brady Bogan
I got quick ones here. Start off with a little. Start off with a little car accident.
John Holmberg
Okay. By the way, the news has caught on to this as a ratings winner because last night they showed an Amazon truck dragging a woman down the road. Well, this is the Bret would show.
Brett Fesley
Oh, brutal. Do you have that one?
John Holmberg
Br. No, no. You'll have it soon. Oh, yeah, it's. It was there.
Brady Bogan
Leave with this.
John Holmberg
Here we are. We're behind a. That's not a cop car, is it?
Brady Bogan
No.
John Holmberg
Oh, it's just pulling out into traffic. Oh, looks like a. The Malachi Crunch. Oh, you had a. A truck full of sand. Hit it. T bone it and push it into the oncoming traffic where another bigger truck full of sand takes it down. That's the.
Brady Bogan
The outback is gone.
John Holmberg
Oh, man. Oh, look at all that sand. Wow. And looking around. Where are they going to get more sand? The Desert sand delivery. It's a desert sand delivery system.
Brady Bogan
And.
John Holmberg
Oh, we dropped all this sand. That's a lot of work. Well, the. This.
Brady Bogan
This person got caught.
John Holmberg
Oh, a little masturbation. Is that a penis? Man, that's a big unit. Would be all over her until.
Brady Bogan
Nice cans, though.
John Holmberg
She's gorgeous. But the penis on her. Oh my God. And now a dude just knocked it cuz she's getting her food delivered. Oh no. The voices. That broad is gorgeous. I hate when a hot girl has a bigger dick than me. That was massive. That I'd have to be the bottom. I'm gonna do whatever she's my Elon. I have to do whatever she says.
Brady Bogan
A bigger crank and a nice cans. I mean, geez, a bigger crank and.
John Holmberg
I'm still attracted to her. God, you're hot. How about we go to my house? Oh, I guess. Did you not talk? Can we wait till lights go out till you pull out that massive hog? Yeah, I guess so. If you like that whisper. All right.
Brady Bogan
Is that it? That's.
John Holmberg
That one was weird. We are working on a deal right now with a company that is trying to sponsor Brett's videos and is willing to host them.
Brady Bogan
They're gonna host them? I haven't heard that part of it.
John Holmberg
Yeah, we don't have anything to do with it. So you can sue them or do whatever you want with them. They're the ones that'll say we want that. We. All we have to say is blah, blah, blah. Brings you Brett's video. And all these videos go up and then their site.
Brady Bogan
I got nothing to do with it.
John Holmberg
So soon you too will have access to whatever the hell it is we're watching.
Brady Bogan
Sorry about your luck.
John Holmberg
Sorry you're gonna get fired from your jobs. Do not watch those on a work computer. That's it. There's your Brady report. It's all done. It's 98 KUPD.
Dick Toledo
It's not weird.
John Holmberg
It's pretty cool, actually.
Dick Toledo
No membership fee.
John Holmberg
I've heard enough of this morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. It does. That's what it does. Look at it. Hi, everybody. Again, that would have got us. We can't have cameras in here. Mics in here between. It's time for what Would Brady Do? It's brought to you by Mo Money Pawn. MMP Guns right inside there. If you want to head over there, go to momoneypon.com. check out all the M and P Guns things they got attached to that website. Or just head on over 12th street in Indian school and wander about. They got the AR15 class coming up. Is that the one that's coming up or is the nine? They got one of them coming up.
Brady Bogan
I can't remember which one.
John Holmberg
Discounted there's. Yeah, I'm not mistaken. We just missed Byron's birthday. Birthday.
Brady Bogan
He'll extend it for you.
John Holmberg
You know what? Let's extend the Byron birthday special. Go in there and say happy birthday to Byron from you KUPD listeners. And I don't know how old Byron is, but he'll give you his age percentage off, man. So if Byron is. If Byron. Byron is. I'm just throwing a number out there. I know he's not 58 years old. You get 58% off, man. Subject to sale. Turn subject to change. May change at destroy discretion of employee Byron and ownership. No, they're great. They're great guys over there. Just awesome people. So Mo Money Pond helping out MMP guns. They got everything you need right there inside the store. Gifts for Byron's birthday if you want.
Brady Bogan
All over the place.
John Holmberg
Or get involved and do that gun thing. They've got some great stuff. MMP Guns. 12th street in Indian School. Right there inside. Mo Money Pawn. Ready, Brady?
Brett Fesley
Ready.
John Holmberg
Start. He. Oh, I like this one the most. I'll start here. This one's weird. I've never heard this before. It says, dear Brady, I just got the news that my girlfriend, dating since September, is pregnant. And I do love her very much. She's a great person. But news of this pregnancy has made me realize something, that I do not want kids with her. I want to be with my ex wife who has recently said that she wants to get back with me. If I'm going to have kids, I want it to be with her. Her. Doesn't mean I'm not going to take care of the kid. But how do I go forward from here? Glenn? Oh boy.
Brett Fesley
You have to do what you said. I mean, you're gonna have this kid.
John Holmberg
Oh, you're having a kid either way.
Brett Fesley
Yeah. And you're gonna dump this for the kid. But the dump. Geez, I don't know how. I mean, obviously that's not gonna go real smooth. But what is on the line for him other than. Than can she make it worse for him?
John Holmberg
How so?
Brett Fesley
You only have to provide. So I mean like you're going to say I'm provided for the kid.
John Holmberg
That's it.
Brett Fesley
They're just agreement, Right.
John Holmberg
He just has to pay for the. He has to pay the kid support, right? Yeah, that's it. And help out and they.
Brett Fesley
Does that go through the court? You come to that agreement?
John Holmberg
No, you break up. They don't have to go to court. I mean I'm. I'm sure there's child support payments that'll be.
Brett Fesley
Because is it based upon his income or anything like that?
John Holmberg
Probably I don't know if she's gonna. You know that you're assuming that she's just. For all of it.
Brett Fesley
Yeah. I don't know how.
John Holmberg
She's a lover scorned.
Brett Fesley
It's gonna be a little bit messy at first, and then it goes back.
John Holmberg
To what the old bartender, not Bill Osborne, but Jim Ortiz, used to say all the time, if you watched me throw up and start to eat it again, would you tell me I shouldn't be doing that? Because that's what going back to a relationship is. But I turned to Brett, whose parents did this three different times. Times they divorced and remarried twice. And then finally last time, just kind of lived together. Divorce, remarried. Divorce, remarried.
Brett Fesley
Yeah.
John Holmberg
No, wait. Married, divorced, remarried, divorced, stayed together for.
Brett Fesley
Yeah. Isn't that amazing? Up the fact that this guy. It took the girlfriend getting pregnant to make his realization like, oh, what's a life changing event?
John Holmberg
He's like, oh, my God. I have to assess my life here, and you're not the one I want to be with.
Brett Fesley
Dave Grohl did it.
John Holmberg
What?
Brett Fesley
He worked it out with the. You know, he said, basically, I'm staying with my wife.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, but that's. That's different. That's a side piece. This is the. Broke up with the ex, got divorced, started dating this lady. She's under the idea that they're in a relationship. She tells him I'm pregnant. Should be the happiest time of their lives, I guess. Not for me. No. And then he's like, this news made me realize I'm in the wrong body. It's like being transsexual. You realized right then and there I'm in the wrong body.
Brett Fesley
Sounds like it might have been a rebound situation.
John Holmberg
Maybe. Don't know. Could be. Might have been years since they've been apart. I don't know.
Brett Fesley
Well, he's gonna have to have that talk.
John Holmberg
You got a dumper?
Brett Fesley
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Or reassess and realize maybe you think the grass is greener where it used to be. But you're only, you know, the song memories. That you're only remembering all the good stuff because you choose not to remember the bad. So it's the laughter we will remember. You go back and start thinking about that, and you're like, ah, maybe I'm not thinking of all the tears when.
Brett Fesley
That relationship starts going south again with the ex.
John Holmberg
Probably. Well, however, Brett's parents as an example. I have friends, Holly and Kevin, that were married. Married. Got divorced. As far as I understood, we're not even, like, close to like they were not. They were kind of at odds. They're married again. That's a weird thing to me.
Brady Bogan
But there's an exception.
John Holmberg
Every rule.
Brady Bogan
Still going to play the odds.
John Holmberg
The odds are the odds are against you broke up for a reason. Right. Right.
Brett Fesley
But then he's saying the reason why he wants to, you know, be with the ex or back with the ex. He'd rather have kids with the ex.
John Holmberg
I think. I think what he's saying is if I were to have kids, it's not with this person.
Brett Fesley
Yeah.
John Holmberg
I still feel more for the other one. So it made him kind of measure. Oh, my feelings for the other one are still greater than this. I thought I was over it, but I'm not. I've heard of women doing this. Women get that postpartum when they have a kid or they get the baby, all those emotions start flowing and they realize I'm with the wrong guy and they make all these snap emotional judgments based on this life changing news.
Brett Fesley
And before you do look into that, the ex is gonna be fine with. Oh, by the way.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett Fesley
I got her pregnant. Right when I'm breaking up with her, I'm gonna take care of that kid. I want to be with you again.
John Holmberg
Wow.
Brett Fesley
Is she gonna accept that? I would try to do whatever you could to keep both plates spinning rubble.
John Holmberg
You think you keep the. No, that's news I didn't expect. Brady says he would keep the pregnant girlfriend.
Brett Fesley
Keep both plates spinning.
John Holmberg
Because while she get. And Brady's not wrong, let's go down Brady's rabbit hole here. The pregnant girlfriend's gonna get fat and gross for a while. At least you got this side piece that knows how to work it. Your ex wife, right?
Brett Fesley
Yeah.
John Holmberg
So you keep her alive. See how the other one recovers. Give it some time before you make this change or decision. Because let's say. Let's say you go back with the ex and you realize, oh, my God, that was an emotional choice. I want to be with the mother of my child. I. I'm with you. You stick it out with the mother of your child, but you keep the other one on. On a hook.
Brady Bogan
Look, I think he's just afraid she's going to become a beast and not lose that baby weight.
John Holmberg
Could be a little Brett Presley in him there. Could be a little bit like, oh, boy. There we go. There we go. She's gonna tank out.
Brett Fesley
Yeah, the ex is doing that to him.
John Holmberg
What do you mean?
Brett Fesley
He's keeping him.
John Holmberg
Yeah, no, she's definitely got a hook on him.
Brett Fesley
All of a sudden, she's back into the picture, and, you know, it's a little. I. I don't think, you know, the biggest surprise, obviously, is, oh, she's pregnant. Now I'm gonna have a kid, and.
John Holmberg
I think a lot of guys get that I'm pregnant news and think, oh, boy, I don't want to be part of this. I don't love her that much. So now. Now you see yourself trapped. Your first reactions. I'm trapped. It's a trap.
Brett Fesley
You're spending time. You've spent a little time with the family, her family, because you've gotten to know each other. Boy.
John Holmberg
But again, crazyville. September, October, November, December, January. Six months, and you've got a. You've got a lifelong commitment, guaranteed popping out of her in a little bit. You might not be lifelong guaranteed committed to her because it's only been six months, but guess what? She's in your life forever.
Brady Bogan
18 years at least.
John Holmberg
So that feels like a trap.
Brady Bogan
Yep.
John Holmberg
In your own mind. Not. Not that she did that to you, but, like, yeah, I could see where you're like, oh, I don't love you forever.
Brady Bogan
So what you get for raw dog and pal.
John Holmberg
Exactly. Right. You don't raw dog a girl for six months. You raw dog much later on. And even still, you get her a stance on abortion. Like, right away, we're both on. On the same page here. Right. Like, neither of us got her pregnant, and she's all in. That's a tough one. So, yeah, go with what Brady said he would do is.
Brady Bogan
I'm shocked.
John Holmberg
Keep everybody on the hook and hose them both. Maybe you'll get them both pregnant at the same time. That's my prediction. You're gonna get that extra wife pregnant, and now you got two floating around at the same time. You're about to have.
Brett Fesley
That's gonna happen.
John Holmberg
Yeah. You're about to have two kids four months apart. This is my brother. How old? T. Same age. Four months. Different, like. All right, explain. Oh, American Hillbillies. Oh, I get it.
Brett Fesley
It's a collision course.
John Holmberg
Yeah. You're definitely, I think, doing the right thing in this situation. Says, watch the Gabby Petito, the first episode of the Gabby Petito, Netflix best special. The mom and the dad of the Petito girl realized during the pregnancy we're not right for each other and moved on and agreed. Look, let's just make this right. Let's make that kid's life great, because we're not good together. And. And that ended out. Oh, wait, no, that didn't end very well at all.
Brett Fesley
They end up having. Did they have three kids or did.
John Holmberg
She have a couple of kids floating around?
Brett Fesley
She had a brother and a sister.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I didn't do the family tree on that. Everybody was halves. This have that. I'm out. It's not my job to genealogy your murder story. Cut to the chase. How did Brian get to this? Dear Brady, my girlfriend and I adopted two dogs while we were together. We just broke up in January. I'm the dog person. I'm the one who introduced her to dog ownership. She likes them well enough, but I love them. She's demanding she gets to keep our dogs. And I want those dogs. I gave her everything else, including a car I bought with her. Her F that. Who am I kidding? Bought for her. She barely made like 10k a year and she thinks we need an even split. My ass. Freeloader. This did not end well. How do I get my goddamn dogs, man? I'm getting pissed just typing to you. Signed Yan. He might be our only listener named Yan. It was Jan. But he put in parentheses Y, A.
Brett Fesley
N. I'm gonna say the. I mean, the best thing that could probably happen out of that is you're going to split. Each one gets a dog.
John Holmberg
Oh, you can't separate dogs.
Brett Fesley
I wouldn't do that.
John Holmberg
But you hate her. Clearly you're not in a good spot, so sharing them isn't going to be a thing.
Brett Fesley
And then when she calls to say.
John Holmberg
Well, she's going to call and say the dogs have a vet visit I can't afford. Yeah, I think the only way to do this is not go at her like you did this email and go talk to her pragmatically about finance. Say, look, I'll let you visit them. Lidor. I'll let you visit them. You can come by, but you can't afford these dogs right now. You know, if she's not making any money and if it was just your girlfriend you're not kicking down makes it.
Brett Fesley
A little bit easier.
John Holmberg
Yeah, Just say, look, just practical. Vets are expensive. Food's expensive. I'm the one that can do that. That you can visit anytime you want. I'm not going to. I'm not going to take them away that way. But they need to be in my house. She's doing it to be bitter. But if she's only making 10k a year, she can't afford a dog. She needs roommates. She's going to live with her parents. I don't know where she's going.
Brett Fesley
We'll gobble that up real quick.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Oh. Ten grand a year. You can't.
Brady Bogan
Can't do it.
John Holmberg
You can't do anything. She needs to find another guy immediately that can take care of her because she's a freeloader and she's trying to.
Brady Bogan
Steal your dogs again.
Brett Fesley
I don't know if she's hot.
John Holmberg
Now that's the other thing. If you send it, send d. Toledo@kupd.com Send a picture of this tramp with your dogs. And if she's hot enough, she'll already have a Paradise Valley fella before you know it. And that's a good thing because girls, some girls that just don't have anything to offer. They do have something to offer and it's usually actually they're vaginas to a wealthy man.
Brett Fesley
But you mentioned you're not going to change your mind if it's something that you've done. You know, if she scorn.
John Holmberg
Oh, like if he was boning somebody on the side or something.
Brett Fesley
Or she just is scorn wants to, you know, she's gonna go, I'm taking this dog because I know it'll hurt you.
John Holmberg
Yeah, she's trying to hurt who she's hurting. Are those precious little angel dogs?
Brett Fesley
Yep.
John Holmberg
10 grand a year. Where did she move to? I need more on this. Where did she go? If you guys broke up, where did she go? She didn't move out on her own. If she doesn't have a job and you're not paying her bills because you were just her boyfriend, it's not like you have to legally take care of her anymore. You dump her, she moves on.
Brady Bogan
She could have found somebody to pay for her bills maybe.
John Holmberg
Is she living with some guy? Assess the situation and be fair to the dogs. Is the new guy guy treating those dogs better than you can financially? Do they have a nice big yard and a pool and all that? I know they're dog set up. Yeah. I mean, the day Megan does go off and find a very wealthy man, those dogs get a better house. Yeah. I love those dogs. I'm happy for them with her. You know, I'll just do that weird thing where you put a ski mask on and you steal people's dogs and I get them back. Dear Brady, my wife has got it trump derangement syndrome. She's obsessed. I'm a Democrat, but I keep myself level headed. This woman is off the deep end. Can't be out with friends, can't be out with anyone. Can't even talk to the neighbors. And I've talked to her about how little this all matters to us day to day, and she gets mad when I ask her for a night together without Polish politics. She says if she has boundaries for conversation, she's not interested in being comfortable with me. I try to ignore it, but honestly, she is gone, man. And I can't help but even defend Trump sometimes. And I don't even like the guy. If she brings up Hitler again or the country is over one more time, that is a go to. I'm just. Guess what I'm saying is this isn't much fun for me as life goes on. For some reason, I don't have sex with her either, because I think to myself, all she's thinking about is Trump the whole time. Like this guy. It's like a sheepdog around sheep.
Brett Fesley
You don't have to finish if you don't want.
John Holmberg
She's laser focused. I don't have a question. I'm just venting. So I suppose it's not really. What would Brady do, Justin? He's just yelling at the woman.
Brett Fesley
Well, cut your losses, move on.
John Holmberg
You gotta. You dumping her?
Brett Fesley
This guy's not gonna come around on that.
John Holmberg
How dare you? How dare you bone a non Trump supporter.
Brett Fesley
No, she' I mean, she's gone. Obviously.
John Holmberg
You think there's no coming back.
Brett Fesley
Well, her saying, I choose the topics we talk about then now, I mean.
John Holmberg
Technically that he was saying that.
Brett Fesley
And then the physical side of it.
John Holmberg
He thinks all she does is talk about Trump.
Brett Fesley
Yeah, but he's not even. She's not even appealing to him right now. Could that ever change?
John Holmberg
Well, yeah, she's knocking off. Off. I mean, think about.
Brett Fesley
You need to have a third party involved.
John Holmberg
If all night, all Ronnie did was talk about something you're not interested in.
Brett Fesley
Yeah.
John Holmberg
All night long. And it's never. And you're like, hey, enough, enough, no more. She goes and goes and you're just dumping her. Yeah. All right, that's it. Brady says dumper, and get yourself a good Trump supporting lady like that beautiful, silly box.
Brett Fesley
I mean, there's some patience involved, but if it's like, gone on, I don't know, two years and it doesn't look like it's changing.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett Fesley
Even saying, you know what? Maybe, maybe they'll get over this. It's a phase.
John Holmberg
I wonder if it's gone on two years or if it's just since the election. I think you have to kind of think it might be the initial shock and awe of Trump being back in when people who hated him thought they were rid of him. And he came back like a bad Jason movie. Like, they're just like, jesus Christ, he's chasing me around again. So, yeah, you can understand where Jamie Lee Curtis is worried again. She thought she killed Michael Myers, and now he's back. So that's all she's thinking about. Like, he's. He won't die. They tried to shoot him. He just keeps coming, coming.
Brady Bogan
Twenty movies later, he's still coming.
John Holmberg
Jason and that damn mask. And she's like, I can't think of anything else. So maybe it is just the initial shock because we're only two months in.
Brett Fesley
Give it a little time.
John Holmberg
But I say, stand your ground. I don't. I don't. He is saying, I choose the topics we talk about. Or don't. She wasn't. She's basically saying, no, she. She said. She said, don't put boundaries on conversation.
Brett Fesley
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And he was saying, let's have a night where you don't talk about this and don't talk about. I'm interested in it. So in a way, she's saying, that's my interest right now. And you're saying, don't be interested because you're not.
Brett Fesley
Now she said, in my mind, it's like, well, you think we should be able to. We're husband and wife. We should be able to talk about politics without it, you know?
John Holmberg
Right. But she's lost. And the same thing if she said, hey, let's do one night where you don't talk about the Steelers. Let's do one night where you don't talk about your favorite baseball team. I'm not interested. Interested.
Brady Bogan
Peace out.
Brett Fesley
If you ever heard that. Yeah.
John Holmberg
Oh, my God, I'd light her on fire. Yeah, like, that's.
Brett Fesley
I want to hear.
John Holmberg
You know, people feel, you know, that the Muslims feel when you draw Muhammad. Same.
Brady Bogan
I'd send her to QT on 27. Thomas, be like, go pick up a.
John Holmberg
Couple wieners for me over at 27th. Why? Oh, they're the best ones over there. Pablo Marin, do your work.
Brady Bogan
That might have been who got stabbed over there.
John Holmberg
Maybe. Maybe this just sorted itself out.
Brady Bogan
It could have.
John Holmberg
That's a new what would Brady do solution. Send her to 27th Avenue. And Thomas, this all ends to the blade. Yeah, Send her over there with a shirt that says, selena Gomez sucks. She won't come home. I hate Bad Bunny. Have a shirt that says I hate Bad Bunny and walk into that QT on 27th and Thomas.
Brady Bogan
See that?
John Holmberg
Holmes, did you see What? Our shirts at home. I bet she is a Trump hater. And she hits by bunny. Yeah, that's the area we get rid of everybody. That's where dreams go to die. You don't even need to hire a hitman. Just drop her off. That's the good thing about the Blade in Phoenix. You don't need to hire a hitman and get in trouble for that. Just pull into the QT and say, go inside and grab me a hot dog. I'll wait here. And then pull away. She's done. But, yeah, trump derangement syndromes, too. It's too much. Much. And there is something when your spouse says, all right, you've lost. Oh, we got time. All right, you got to pull back on this. And also Trump love syndrome. It's the other side of it. The. Enough. If your. If your spouse says, I can't take it anymore, then stop doing it or take the bread approach. There is a place you can go.
Brady Bogan
I don't mean that.
John Holmberg
I'm just saying it's not on you. No, I'm starting. That's a good idea. This conversation's going nowhere. Why are you going so far west? I don't know. I just don't really like what we're talking about. There you go, everybody. That is what Brady did.
Dick Toledo
Hey, it's not weird.
John Holmberg
It's pretty cool, actually.
Dick Toledo
No membership fees.
John Holmberg
I have heard enough of this. Homburg's morning sick. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Monday. Flying by right into this beautiful day. A perfect one. Oh, I got. I just got. Hi, Larry. It's time now for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our friends@reactdefense.com, the home of tactical black self defense training. The deal is ridiculous. You can't get a better one than that right now. Going out there later today. Can't wait for that. My own self get to go get in shape. I had a guy tell me this week, this is a good endorsement for. For the thing. Guy came up to me and he said, hey, John, I saw you at the bike shop action ride shop there Saturday. He said, we used to be the same, and now it looks like you're in shape.
Brady Bogan
Yeah, I heard that guy.
John Holmberg
How about that? He. I was a little intimidated because I feel like I've wasted my. Exactly. I'm a man and you're not. Bruce. Just kidding. But it does. Sometimes you get a compliment saying, what are you. What are you doing? What's your workout? It's like, I'm Trying to get in better shape. And I'm doing it up there at React Defense. And it shows. And when it shows, you beam a little bit. It feels good that the work you're doing is paying off and guys up there are working, that's for sure. And so reactdefense.com not only will get you in good shape, boost your confidence just visibly, because it does feel good when people notice that you're working hard, hard. And also boost your confidence in a setting like we were in Saturday, where there's a ton of people, you don't know, anybody, crowds, weirdness, strange stuff, and unpredictability. And that's the whole world. You walk around in that every single day, not to mention FBI stat that everybody hates. Your workplace is the place you will most likely run into a physical encounter or a violent event. You're there every day. It makes sense. Unless you work from home. And Elon wants you to email back in if that's the case. Either way, you learn a lot, you get in great shape. And the price is unbelievable. Two months for 199 bucks. How about that? Personal training does not cost that little. This is an unbelievable price you must take advantage of because the value is huge. 199 bucks for two months. Do it now. Reactdefense.com it's the home of Tactical Black. Maybe you can look as good as that do. That wasn't very. There we go. That's not so great. Brady, entertain me.
Brett Fesley
We talked about it a little bit last week. There's another celebrity auction potentially compared to OJ Simpson.
John Holmberg
Oh, OJ. Yeah.
Brett Fesley
It's supposed to go down sometime in March.
John Holmberg
OJ is.
Brett Fesley
OJ's kids can file legal objection which would tie this up in court again.
John Holmberg
Fine, as long as my bids in, but I've waited this long.
Brett Fesley
Here's an item that you might want to get. It's his bible. It was given to him.
John Holmberg
Oh, with Robert Kardashian's note in it? Yep.
Brett Fesley
Robert Kardashian gave it to him after the chase happened in the Bronco and things were going to start going down. And it says, you open it up on the COVID says, read this book every day. God has a definite plan for your life. You are. You are his child and he will use you again. I love you and God loves you.
John Holmberg
What's God's plan for Nicole's life? What was God's plan for Nicole's life? Oh, right.
Brett Fesley
That's another chapter.
Brady Bogan
He's got a copy of Dianetta.
John Holmberg
I hate when somebody Tells someone who's murdered, they. When Ray Lewis said that God's plan for me. God's plan for me would put me in that spot because he had greatest things planned for. What about the two dudes you killed? No plan. No plan at all. He didn't have a plan for them. The plan. Let me get this straight. The plan was for God's. God's plan for those guys was for you to kill them so you had a better chance? What.
Brett Fesley
God's plan was also to stroke a couple of checks.
John Holmberg
God's plan was for you to take a lesser charge for obstruction of justice so you get out so you could fulfill that plan. Meanwhile, the plan for the other two is to live underground for a while. While. I mean, ever. I hate that. God's plan for you, O.J. if you ever said, hey, O.J. god's got a plan for you, well, that would ensue. That would assume that God's plan was. All right, on June 14th of 94, you're going to cut somebody's head off. This is all part of the plan.
Brett Fesley
God, because his plan of making that white suit disappear.
John Holmberg
Oh, for Ray, flawless. No, he. It was an accomplice. Talk about obstruction, adjustment, justice. The Lord Jesus. Give me the suit, Ray. I've got plans for you. But anybody telling OJ God has a plan for you? Even God's like, knock it off. Stop writing that letter right now, Kardashian. I'll show you. Your daughters are going to be.
Brett Fesley
There's big news that Taylor Swift had lost some Instagram followers since the super bowl. She lost 144,000 followers.
John Holmberg
Yikes.
Brett Fesley
She's down to 282 million.
John Holmberg
Hit. She can lose her blue check.
Brett Fesley
I have no idea. Travis Kelsey gained 12,000 followers. Maybe they just switched up to 6.7 million.
John Holmberg
He's catching her. Yeah, they did. They did try to make a big stink out of her losing 140,000 out of two. I saw Jesse Water saying that. And he was trying to say, it's a movement. And I'm like, she's got just above 200 of a billion followers. She's okay.
Brady Bogan
When she loses 100 million, then. Then, you know, give me a percentage.
John Holmberg
She has to lose. Like. Like the percentage of that is, like, less than 1. Yeah, she's got to crank it out.
Brett Fesley
One of Diddy's attorneys filed a motion to be removed from his legal team.
Brady Bogan
Oh.
Brett Fesley
He said no. Under no circumstances can I continue to effectively serve as counsel for Sean Combs.
John Holmberg
Because you know something? Did he raped Him.
Brett Fesley
Tony Rico is out.
John Holmberg
Hey, if Tony Rico's out of the courtroom, what did he see? Oh, I can't defend that. Look, I'll go so far as to defend murder, but what you're doing to that guy with that thing. You're pooping into his poop.
Brett Fesley
This last one.
John Holmberg
What is that? Did you just swish a poop toy out of your butthole into another guy? Okay, I'm out. Blackjack.
Brett Fesley
MovieWeb.com Red ranked the comedies top 10 comedies that are funny from start to finish.
John Holmberg
The original Hangover.
Brady Bogan
Yeah.
Brett Fesley
Not even in the top. What?
Brady Bogan
Yeah, this is some crap on there.
John Holmberg
Anchorman.
Brett Fesley
Anchorman's in there. Number four. I'll give you start. Number ten, pop star. Never stop. Never stop chopping.
John Holmberg
Okay.
Brady Bogan
Never seen it.
John Holmberg
Andy Samberg thing. It's terrible.
Brett Fesley
Yeah. Number nine, blazing Saddles.
Brady Bogan
Oh, okay.
John Holmberg
Okay. There's a good one.
Brett Fesley
Number eight, Black Dynamite 2009.
John Holmberg
Pretty funny.
Brady Bogan
Never seen it.
Brett Fesley
Number seven, Monty Python, the Holy Grail.
Brady Bogan
Pretty solid.
Brett Fesley
Number six, Caddyshack.
Brady Bogan
Solid.
John Holmberg
Yep. Although start to finish up, kind of serious. Weird little pregnancy in the middle does changes the stripe.
Brady Bogan
Should be in there, too.
Brett Fesley
Number five, super bad. Number four was Anchorman. Number three, weird. The Al Yankovic.
John Holmberg
I loved that. But you have to be a super fan of Al Yankovic. It's not great. Otherwise.
Brett Fesley
Number two, Eurovision Song Contest.
John Holmberg
It's funny, but it's not the story of fire saga. Will Ferrell's in it and Kristen Bell. I don't remember who else, but yeah, it's basically me making. It's a. It's a parody of that giant European show. No, it's. Well, the Europeans have that huge. It's the biggest competition. We're not involved in it, but it's. The nations of Europe send a singing group in. It's like Olympics of singing. And they have this huge Eurovision show that just gangbusters and they. And they make.
Brady Bogan
So it's like American Idol type thing.
John Holmberg
It only has a world.
Brady Bogan
Okay.
John Holmberg
Except for the United States, isn't it?
Brett Fesley
Then it's Airplane was number one.
Brady Bogan
All right.
Brett Fesley
But I thought, you know, you mentioned hangover.
John Holmberg
Hangover. Well, maybe the. The sequels ruined.
Brady Bogan
Well, the Hangover sequels were pretty much ruined. At least three. Especially three.
John Holmberg
Are we done? Oh, gee, sorry. Yeah, he's right. All right, let's be done. We're all out of here. I forgot we had commercials. All right, we're done. That's it. Larry's coming up next. Good chopper. He has a plan for us. That's the thing. Larry has a plan for you. If you're nice to him, he'll be nice to you. We're done. You guys have yourselves a glorious Monday, and we'll see you tomorrow right here in the morning sickness.
Brett Fesley
Hello.
Dick Toledo
It's not weird.
Brett Fesley
It's pretty cool, actually.
Dick Toledo
No membership fee.
John Holmberg
I've heard enough of this.
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary (02-24-25)
Release Date: February 24, 2025
Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogan, Bret Fesley, Dick Toledo
The episode kicked off with John Holmberg and his co-hosts celebrating a successful event at the Action Ride Shop. John detailed the vibrant turnout and the positive atmosphere surrounding the grand opening of the new store location.
John Holmberg [00:33]:
"Saturday we were, Brett and I were out at Action Ride Shop and man, that was a perfect day. Encouraging to go hop on the bike and ride. If you haven't. You take advantage of this weather."
Brady Bogan and Bret Fesley echoed John's enthusiasm, commending Josh and his team for their excellent work in establishing the new shop. The hosts highlighted giveaways, such as new bikes and T-shirts, which further boosted community participation.
Brady Bogan [02:34]:
"But bikes only at that new one. If you still want the winter gear, you got to go to the OG store."
John shared an amusing encounter with a listener, Scott Haynes, who affectionately handed him a gifted T-shirt, illustrating the strong bond between the shop and its patrons.
A significant portion of the discussion revolved around the Catholic Church's declining membership and the potential implications of a new pope.
John Holmberg [05:15]:
"Now, we're all in agreement a pizza boll is the future, huh? But the puppy, he want to die. He did. He live on the spider hating the pizza ball."
John humorously proposed the idea of a new pope named "Pierre Batista Pizza Ball," mocking the traditional papal selection process and suggesting a more relatable figure to rejuvenate the Church's image.
John Holmberg [16:27]:
"Pierre Batista Pizza ball. And he should dot his eyes with little pizza balls and sauce."
The hosts criticized the Church's handling of scandals and its struggle to maintain relevance among younger generations, suggesting that a rebranding with a whimsical name could be a strategic move to attract new followers.
Transitioning to workplace dynamics, the hosts delved into the frustration surrounding mandatory reporting of work accomplishments, a nod to broader corporate policies possibly influenced by figures like Elon Musk.
John Holmberg [57:02]:
"If your boss says, hey, what have you gotten done this week? Well, you get to think that you're not doing anything. I mean, that's proof you're expendable."
Brett Fesley and Brady Bogan discussed the intrusive nature of such policies, emphasizing how they contribute to a toxic work environment and diminish employee morale.
John Holmberg [66:03]:
"If you can't rattle off five lies of what you got done last week that you can kind of back up a little bit, you're not doing anything."
The conversation highlighted personal anecdotes of struggling with these expectations, reinforcing the hosts' critique of micromanagement and its impact on productivity and job satisfaction.
A heated discussion ensued regarding the Phoenix Suns' exorbitant payroll, comparing it unfavorably to other major sports teams like the Dodgers and Yankees.
John Holmberg [47:26]:
"They have the second highest payroll in American sports. Number two, $408 million a year going out the door for this Suns roster, and they're not even gonna make the playoffs."
The hosts expressed disbelief and frustration over the Suns' financial expenditures without corresponding team success, questioning the management's strategy and its implications for the league's competitive balance.
Brett Fesley [48:07]:
"Thought the Yankees would be up there."
This segment underscored a broader commentary on financial mismanagement within sports organizations, resonating with listeners who share similar frustrations.
John Holmberg and his co-hosts offered candid and often humorous advice on navigating relationship challenges, particularly when faced with unexpected life events like pregnancy.
John Holmberg [125:05]:
"He's gonna have to have that talk. You have to do what you said you did."
The hosts dissected scenarios involving relationship tensions, emphasizing pragmatic approaches to resolving conflicts while maintaining personal integrity and responsibility.
John Holmberg [129:00]:
"You gotta. You dumping her? You gotta reassess and realize maybe you think the grass is greener where it used to be."
Through relatable storytelling, the conversation provided both entertainment and insightful reflections on the complexities of modern relationships.
The show transitioned into a segment covering quirky news stories and trivia, adding a light-hearted element to the episode.
Brett Fesley [95:18]:
"I don't know how people wouldn't like it. I love it, but not all of it."
John Holmberg [112:07]:
"She ate snails. So snails do eat the poop of a rat. Nailed it. Correct."
Brett Fesley [147:31]:
"The cheeseburger was invented in 1926 at a restaurant called Right Spot in Pasadena."
These segments reinforced the show's blend of humor and information, keeping the audience engaged with diverse topics.
In a more serious vein, the hosts recounted unsettling incidents, including a multiple stabbing on 27th Avenue and shark attacks, balancing the show's humorous tone with discussions on real-life dangers.
John Holmberg [53:07]:
"I'm a Christian. I have to come in there, tripping up on some concrete on business."
Brett Fesley [110:02]:
"She got a couple of pretty videos."
These narratives served to raise awareness among listeners while maintaining the show's characteristic banter.
As the episode concluded, the hosts maintained their signature humor while promoting local businesses and upcoming segments.
John Holmberg [120:26]:
"We're done. That's it. Larry's coming up next. Good chopper. He has a plan for us."
Dick Toledo and Brett Fesley continued to interject with jokes and promotional content, ensuring the episode ended on the show’s typical engaging and lively note.
John Holmberg [00:33]:
"Saturday we were, Brett and I were out at Action Ride Shop and man, that was a perfect day."
John Holmberg [05:15]:
"Pierre Batista Pizza ball. And he should dot his eyes with little pizza balls and sauce."
John Holmberg [47:26]:
"They have the second highest payroll in American sports... and they're not even gonna make the playoffs."
John Holmberg [57:02]:
"If you can't rattle off five lies of what you got done last week... you're not doing anything."
John Holmberg [125:05]:
"He's gonna have to have that talk. You have to do what you said you did."
Conclusion
This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully intertwined local community highlights, sharp social critiques, personal relationship advice, and a mix of light-hearted and serious topics. John Holmberg and his co-hosts delivered a dynamic and engaging show that not only entertained but also provoked thoughtful discussion among their listeners.
For more engaging content, tune in or visit 98KUPD weekdays from 5:30 AM - 10:00 AM.