02-24-26 - FULL SHOW - TUESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 02-24-26 – Full Show (Tuesday) Summary

Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness
Host(s): John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo
Date: February 24, 2026
Network: 98KUPD, Arizona

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Episode Overview

This episode marks John Holmberg’s return after a week off due to a serious eye surgery. The team dives into a variety of topics: recap of John’s harrowing medical ordeal, wild celebrity news, scandals in Mexico, on-air banter about sports, and reflections on “outrage culture.” The show keeps its signature irreverent tone, mixing outrageous humor with real-life drama (especially around Holmberg’s health). Several segments feature lighthearted ribbing among the hosts, listener emails, and unexpected detours into pop culture, news, and personal stories.

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Major Discussion Points & Segments

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1. Holmberg’s Return & Eye Surgery Ordeal

Timestamps: 02:09 – 05:37, continues throughout

• Holmberg recounts his eye emergency: What began as seeing annoying ‘gnats’ (floaters) escalated rapidly to total loss of vision in his right eye, leading to emergency surgery for retinal tears.
• First signs & progression: He describes initial denial, blaming ‘gnats’ and thinking he had a migraine before realizing the seriousness.
• The terrifying ER visit: Details about waiting, the diagnosis, interactions with medical staff, and even dealing with a patient with Tourette’s.
• Post-surgical hell: Holmberg describes being forced to lay face down for 6-7 days, unable to move, with only a gas bubble in his eye keeping the retina in place.
• Mental and physical impact: Shares feelings of isolation, boredom, and frustration; makes humorous comparisons to being a “power bottom”, and jokes about his masturbation drought.
• Key insight:

  “Nothing will f*** you up more mentally and physically than when your eye goes south.” – John Holmberg (69:43)

• Public service advice: Strong urging for listeners to get their eyes checked, especially if seeing new floaters—catching issues early can spare immense suffering.

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2. Michael Jordan at Daytona Controversy

Timestamps: 02:09 – 06:38

• The crew reacts to footage of Michael Jordan’s “overly friendly” celebration with a young winner at Daytona, joking about what level of celebrity allows for boundary-crossing behavior.
• Takes turns speculating which sports legends (Brady, Kobe, Barkley) could “get away” with such behavior, poking fun at sports hero worship and double standards.

• “If Kevin Spacey would have done it, he’d be in jail.” – John Holmberg (03:29)
  “That’s Michael Jordan, he can finger anybody he wants.” – Brady (03:14)

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3. Cynicism About News Cycles & Social Media Fads

Timestamps: 08:00 – 09:31

• Holmberg reflects on public’s dwindling attention to crises (Russia-Ukraine anniversary, missing Tucson woman) and “slacktivism” like flying Ukrainian flags for a week.
• Jokes about GoFundMe campaigns for dead or ailing celebrities, questioning why wealthy actors’ deaths fundraise so much from ordinary people.

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4. Rant on Mexico’s Dangers and Americans’ Denial

Timestamps: 18:44 – 37:11

• Holmberg goes on an extended, satirical rant about Americans’ love for Mexican vacations, insisting the only reason is “cheapness” despite cartel violence and encroaching danger.
• Relays a real account from his friend who narrowly avoided cartel violence, jokes about “enjoy your head while you have it.”
• Compares Mexico to dangerous regions elsewhere, pushing back on “but the beaches are beautiful” defenses.

  “Let me be the bravest American alive when I say Mexico sucks 100% across the board.” – John Holmberg (31:50)

• Banter about how “cartel” is a neighborhood red flag, and compares US to Mexico and other risky travel locations.

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5. NBA/Refereeing/Hostile Acts Rant

Timestamps: 12:19 – 15:41

• Holmberg rails against modern NBA, blaming the influx of female refs and “emotional” officiating for new ‘hostile act’ penalties and over-policing of play.

  “…Leave it to a woman to go back in the past, check the tape, see what you said. … Now I don’t even know what it is. … It’s a hostile act.” – John Holmberg (13:28)

• Elaborates on how reviews and ‘hostile acts’ spoil enjoyment of basketball, poking fun at both men’s and women’s leagues.

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6. Tourette’s, BAFTA Awards, and Outrage Culture

Timestamps: 15:45 – 18:21

• The group jokes about a man with Tourette’s disrupting the BAFTAs, hurling racist slurs, and how only medical conditions provide a “pass” for otherwise unforgivable behavior.
• Compares this to political correctness and public overreaction, reflecting on modern cultural double standards.

  “The only pass is Tourette’s.” – Brady (17:16)

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7. Larry’s On-Air Stint & Obituary Prank

Timestamps: 39:29 – 40:21

• In Holmberg's absence, Larry filled in and read an AI-generated obituary for John on-air, leading to jokes about dark humor, death, and workplace traditions.

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8. Pop Culture and News Quick Hits

Timestamps: Throughout

• Obama and Aliens: Commentary on Obama’s nonchalant acknowledgment of aliens in a podcast, and why people no longer care about such revelations.
• Bridgerton, Scrubs returns, Survivor retrospective, music releases: During “hot releases” segment, the team reacts to TV and music headlines, offering quick opinions with tongue-in-cheek asides.
• Gratuitous stories: Patrick Stewart not knowing he was uncircumcised, Dick Van Dyke’s “dolphin rescue” story, celebrity sex trivia.

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9. Interactive Segments, Band/Listener Jokes, and Music

Timestamps: 105:05 – 107:43, scattered elsewhere

• “Wake Up Song” submissions played with listener interaction.
• Comedy bits: “N Word or F Word” Snoop Dogg edition; AI-generated Marilyn Manson.
• Listener emails riffed on throughout, including advice, health feedback, and in-jokes.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Michael Jordan:
  “If you have enough, there’s a chance that a ring gets lost in your son and you make a little money.” – John Holmberg (04:00)
• On Mexico:
  “A five-dollar Corona is better than a fifty-cent Corona when you know you’re not going to get your head chopped off.” – Brett Vesely (34:41)
• On Celebrity GofundMe’s:
  “Why am I giving James Van Der Beek money to save his ranch? I need rent.” – John Holmberg (11:05)
• On Post-Surgical Torment:
  “Lay flat on your stomach for seven days… it’s so weird how it affects your brain. Your brain doesn’t work right.” – John Holmberg (77:40)
• On Lack of Sympathy for Mexico Tourists:
  “I would blow Michael Jordan every day in the month of March before I’d ever take a trip to Mexico in my lifetime.” – John Holmberg (28:50)
• On Listener Feedback and ‘Replacement’ Hosts:
  “We got emails. We’re just trading one Jew for another Jew.” – Brett Vesely (39:23)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |-------------------------------------|---------------| | Michael Jordan controversy | 02:09–06:38 | | Rant on Mexico | 18:44–37:11 | | NBA/Refereeing/“Hostile Acts” rant | 12:19–15:41 | | Eye Surgery Story | 54:06–99:11 | | Listener emails/Jew joke | 39:23 | | Hot Music/TV Releases | 160:32–164:51 | | Entertaining “Wake Up Song” picks | 105:05 | | Notable AI Music Bits | 174:54–175:54 |

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Language & Tone

• Unfiltered, irreverent, often profane
• Mix of satire, personal storytelling, and offbeat humor
• Regular self-deprecation, group ribbing, and audience engagement
• Willingness to tackle sensitive or “taboo” subjects in a way designed to both provoke and amuse

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Summary for New Listeners

This episode is a tour-de-force of the show’s strengths: no-holds-barred banter, bizarre news, ranting against mainstream narratives (whether about sports, Mexico, or celebrity deaths), and nakedly personal confessions. The tone veers from playful to dark, with Holmberg’s eye health saga providing an unexpectedly impactful thread.

If you want a wild, uncensored look at morning radio that laces laugh-out-loud vulgarity with genuinely useful public service (eye health!), this is a representative—and memorable—Holmberg's Morning Sickness episode.

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Note: Ads, sponsor messages, and routine station plugs have been omitted from this summary as per guidelines.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

You're listening to the HMS podcast brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[John Holmberg]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P

[Brady]

Guns where he'll get a fair offer

[John Holmberg]

and he can rest easy knowing it's

[Brady]

not getting into the wrong hands.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[John Holmberg]

Easy legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it online. It really that simple?

[Brett Vesely]

There you have it. MMP guns or legal gun buyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[John Holmberg]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Downtown and stand up live. Get out and see the comedy of Moshe Casher and the up and coming Ari Maddie. Up north of Desert Ridge, you'll get Josh Wolf and SNL's Tommy Brennan and east side of the Tempe Improv. Don't miss the very funny Sam J. And more Josh Wolf. For the complete lineups and for tickets, standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com it's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about turfmonstersaz.com I have turf in my backyard and the only regret I've got is that I did not do this sooner. I have turned my backyard into a playground. I got a putting green, I got a pitching green, I got a sport court and I got loads of turf. I never have to worry about dying or looking bad or watering. You can do it too. If you can dream up a beautiful backyard, the gang over there at Turf Monsters can make it a reality. All you have to do is just check them out. Turf Monsters AZ.com hey, it's John and Brett from the morning sickness. And the nightmare of the holidays are behind us. And now it's time to treat yourself. The perfect time to fresh start everything with a new system quality car stereo, upgrade your ride with better sound, smarter tech and service you can trust.

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Tuesday. It is 5:45. My name's John. There's Brady. There's Brett. There's Big Dick Toledo and. Yeah, that was weird. And then let's talk about what's obvious to talk about. What the was Michael Jordan doing to that kid's ass at Daytona? Did you guys see that? Yeah, no, I missed. Oh, they fingered a boy for, like, poking him. He was fingering him and playing with his balls for about a minute. I had to take a week off.

[Brett Vesely]

Michael Jordan. I might let that go.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you know mj. It is mj. His dad. Did you make a strong point, Brett, that if Michael Jordan decided to finger my boy, it could be worse? It's not like it's your uncle. Yeah, it's the goat.

[Brady]

That's exactly what the dad said. Hey, it's mj.

[John Holmberg]

Did you spit in his mouth? I mean, come on, be a pro about this.

[Brady]

He's the sponsor of our car.

[John Holmberg]

We won. Yeah, because of his money. You let you know, the wife was probably like, what did you allow that? Man, That's Michael Jordan. He can finger anybody he wants. I watched that and I'm like, this dude might be.

[Brady]

It's a little beyond poking.

[John Holmberg]

It was fingering a lot of it and hammering like it was. Look, if Kevin Spacey would have done it, he'd be in jail. I don't watch a lot of Daytona. I didn't. I watched a little bit, paid attention to the ending. And then I was kind of fascinated by the fact that Michael Jordan's team won. And then that weird thing happened, and it was on tv and nobody really cared. Everybody's like, what was that? Well, and then everybody had Brett's reaction, which was, Michael Jordan finger kid. And who gets like. Well, he can't.

[Brett Vesely]

Six time world champion.

[Brady]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

You know, hey, I guess if you have enough, there's a chance that a ring gets lost in your son and you make a little money. I don't know what that was, but I didn't like it and. But I giggled and I watched it a lot.

[Brett Vesely]

Look, if Chris Paul shows up. No, no, no, no. Look, you know, come on.

[John Holmberg]

Even Charles Barkley. How many other players get away with six rings, man? Yeah, I mean, Bill Russell could have probably done it. We had 13 or 11. 11 rings. That's Pat Riley, maybe Phil Jackson.

[Brett Vesely]

Now, coaches, it's gray area there.

[Brady]

Tom Brady.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Tom Brady again. He tries to kiss his own children, too. Too far, maybe. That's it. You get six rings, and you start getting the pass. I don't know what it was, but

[Brett Vesely]

how many did Kobe have? Did he have six, or do you have five?

[John Holmberg]

Kobe had

[Brady]

five.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. He was there a lot. He lost a couple.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

LeBron's got five, I think, too. I don't know. Three or four, maybe not maybe four. I don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

Ron doesn't get that pass, though. No.

[John Holmberg]

Because LeBron's just a dick.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody likes LeBron. LeBron. Keep your fingers off the. Off the kinder.

[Brady]

That's one thing he'll hang over. Hey, I didn't do this.

[John Holmberg]

Well, nobody cares. You should have tried it. Nobody that didn't. I thought, oh, boy, we're going to lose Jordan. Like, this is. This is how he goes down. I mean, O.J. simpson killed some people, maybe.

[Brady]

Mm.

[John Holmberg]

And he never, you know, allowed to be a normal person again. And I think that's kind of on par with the same deal. He was definitely fiddling with that boy's balls. Anyway, it's good to be back. I had to take a week off. My eyes shot out of my head after I saw that. I'm like, I'm never gonna be the same. Was weird.

[Brett Vesely]

Very.

[Brady]

And you're. You're watching it by yourself for the most. Over and over. Like, is anyone seeing?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Well, I checked the Internet immediately. I'm like, I just fingered that boy on tv. You can't do that. I'm positive you can't do that. I'm like, not a legal. I'm not Barry Markson, but I'm pretty sure you can't finger a boy at all, let alone on tv. And he did that. And everybody's like, he's Michael Jordan. You did it. Exactly.

[Brady]

It's mj.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. Sakes. It's Michael Jordan. Finger your boy. You should be so lucky.

[Brett Vesely]

You're welcome.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. It was weird.

[Brady]

The fact. I guess the dad stepped up and cleared.

[John Holmberg]

The dad's like, I don't care.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's essentially what he. But since when did that matter? That's also bad. Like, the dad is not. Like, even if. Look, my daughter got fingered baked. So what? Like, no, we don't listen to you, but it's mj.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And not the MJ that used to finger kids all the time and get in trouble. That was Michael Jackson, for God's sakes. More successful.

[Brady]

It's mega yacht mj.

[John Holmberg]

The other MJ is not as big a deal worldwide as the first finger in kids. Mike. I'm not saying he makes a habit of it, but it was awfully comfortable. If you haven't seen it, just Google it. Michael Jordan fingers. Boy. And it. You'll get 20 videos pretty fast. While I was gone. Let's just go over a few things. Turns out Nancy. Nancy Guthrie. Who I was trying to. I couldn't watch anything. I had to hear all of it. Turns out those kidnappers down in Tucson are. They've committed the cleanest crime ever. There's. Except for. You're telling me these geniuses. I've been on this thing as a fake from beginning. These geniuses committed the perfect crime, but didn't realize that weeds don't cover cameras. And now they're saying that they were there a couple days earlier in the same outfit, just wandering around. That's a complete plant. They're finding gloves in the road. Two weeks later, that whole Nancy Guthrie thing is. It's. Something horrible is going on. It's a disaster. And let's go talk to the neighbors again. Yeah. And we've. Yeah. I don't think. I don't think. If you've got them now and everybody's blaming the Tucson police. It's not just them.

[Brett Vesely]

They still haven't found her, apparently. Huh. I tuned out. I'm like, done.

[John Holmberg]

It's four. What is it?

[Brett Vesely]

Two, three weeks now.

[John Holmberg]

You know what it is?

[Brett Vesely]

I'm good.

[John Holmberg]

I discovered this yesterday.

[Brady]

Some days.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm out yesterday. I said, you haven't found her yet. I'm not interested.

[Brett Vesely]

It.

[John Holmberg]

And then I started to think about. Because they mentioned on the news last night that it is the fourth anniversary of the Russia Ukraine war. I remember when that broke out. How many people on social media had the Ukrainian flag and there were people with them in their front yards.

[Brady]

The forever lights.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. They had the blue and yellows. And they're like, we'll never ever. And then no more. Let's take it. Nobody's gonna win that and nobody cares anymore. I remember I was in Sedona.

[Brady]

There was a little spike yesterday because the. Well, Russian missile struck the Oreo factory in the Ukraine.

[John Holmberg]

First off.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, that struck for you.

[John Holmberg]

Oreo factory in Ukraine. If I was Russia, I'd attack them too. I don't think Russia speed up the

[Brady]

end of the war.

[John Holmberg]

All the fat Ukrainians Are that is the disruption of Oreo distribution is going to make some fat Ukrainians unhappy. And I don't think Russia's got an Oreo factory. They probably have one of those hydroxy factories. Awful hydrox cookies. But yeah. So that's going on. And then I don't think anybody cares. I don't think anybody cares more than they like a minute. And then the other thing that made me really sad. Cause the last show we did, I was complaining about James Van Der Beek raising $2.7 million on a GoFundMe because he's dead. And then everybody tried to justify that, like, oh, medical expenses and he needed to keep his ranch. And I'm like, that's just not how it works. And Eric Dane died and they tried that and he raised $458,000. And then it's bumped up over 5. But people don't like Eric Danas much. No.

[Brady]

Couple of people that worked with him that are very outspoken.

[John Holmberg]

The dude who did Euphoria, which is a show he's currently on and the new season's coming out and they already filmed it, so he's going to be on that. The executive producer of that threw in 27 grand. He tops Spielberg by 2K. But then from there on, if you take out that one big contribution, nobody loved Eric D. At all. Not even a little bit. And why don't these guys have life insurance? They've got kids. I don't have kids, so I don't have it. But if I had kids, I would have life insurance, like immediately. Because you never know when something dopey is going to happen like that and take you out. And then you want to make sure everybody's taken care of and your medical expenses don't drag them. It doesn't make any sense. Eric Dane wasn't unemployed. It wasn't like he wasn't an actor for the last 40 years on Grey's Anatomy. Then he was on this euphoria. He's been on some smash.

[Brady]

He's leaning on Rebecca Gayheart's money. She's the one.

[John Holmberg]

She's the one that would. That I would assume needed the gofundme if she died. Because Rebecca Gayhart's been in, like two things. Yeah, he's been. He's on a current massive hit, Zendaya Sydney Sweeney. Everybody on this show is blowing up $500,000 for him to die. And then you look over at the beak and he's pulled 2.7 million because he was first. If Eric Dane would have Died first. He might have gotten the 2 7. And Beak would have gotten 500 grand. But people got drained of it and started to. I think people kind of heard my cry a week ago. Yeah. What are we doing? Why am I giving James Vanderbeek money to save his ranch? I need rent.

[Brett Vesely]

Spielberg probably took some money back and give me five back.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And Spielberg throwing it in there with his movie to promote. It's also gross. And there was that. And then, of course, Olympic hockey, which held me over. That was so great. Like, I didn't get to see it. I had to watch it in reverse with my head down through a mirror. We'll get to all that in a little while. That was so great. That was such a Disney ending of. And I. I heard that Hughes. Is that his name? Jackie. Is that Jack Hughes? He's gonna get a gold tooth, which is phenomenal. If he follows through on that. I read that as get a gold tooth. Foot where he got smashed with a stick.

[Brady]

Maybe we'll see it tonight at the

[John Holmberg]

State of the Union. Yeah. And they were happy to do it.

[Brady]

Ladies aren't, but the guys are. Well, I mean, trump kind of scheduling conflict.

[John Holmberg]

Well, did you hear how he said it, too? I don't know if. I guess I should probably have to invite the girls. I guess they wouldn't go too. But let's. Girl hockey isn't as good. I mean, he basically said that. And he's not wrong. Although that was.

[Brady]

I. I think that was after they said no.

[John Holmberg]

Well, right. But he said I kind of have to invite him. It wasn't the most gracious invitation.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Now you can come if you want. It was not. Nobody wants that. It's like when your wife just goes, stick it in. And I'll do it. But I don't like it. The. The girl hockey is. You know, as much as I'm down on the wnba, girl hockey is entertaining. It's slower than man hockey, but it's. But it's there. It's quality. It's a quality product. It's not like the WNBA where it's really bad 80% of the time. And I'll say that about the NBA. The NBA is about 70% bad all of the time now. It's not a good product, period. End of story. And people want to make it a misogynist when you say it about the wnba, but I say it about the NBA. That league sucks right now. It's tough to watch. There's about eight or nine games to watch, but the referees are Blowing in. And I blame women for that. They have girl refs now, and they've screwed everything up before. Women refereed basketball games. We didn't have hostile acts. That's a complete woman's thing. That's a foul. Now I don't even know what it is. It's a hostile act. We're going to go back and review. We're going to review that for a hostile act. I'm like, what in the world is a hostile act? The whole thing is sort of hostile. I'm running.

[Brady]

Look at his eyes.

[John Holmberg]

I know what you were thinking is essentially a penalty. Now they blow the whistle for that guy's, where have you been all night? So, yeah. So women refs have stepped in, and we have reviews. We go back. You know, leave it to a woman to go back in the past. And I check the tape, see what you said. Oh, Christ. All right, I'll fine. It was a hostile act. It wasn't. You didn't give him enough land. He had more space. He had to land in a better. You didn't give him enough space. That's the point of defense, is to not give him enough space. How's that a penalty?

[Brady]

You know, potentially could happen is fouls will be called two days later.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah, two days later. I just don't even know what you were. The refs aren't talking to the Rockets. Like, what happened?

[Brady]

Scores changing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. A year later. I don't like what you did in the last game. We haven't even tipped off yet. I just got two fouls, and in the hostile act. I'm gonna review your face for hostile act. It's them. It's them. Let's just. You didn't take out the trash. Yeah. I want you to want to take the trash out, Hakeem. Well, I don't even know what you're talking about, but did I just fall out of a game that hasn't started yet? Tomorrow's. Tomorrow's game. You fouled out.

[Brady]

That's the test. There's a trash can on the end of the bench.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And a pile of clothes and a laundry.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's done. The laundry's done. But who's gonna fold it? Not her. Look, let's just admit it. It's them. You guys did this, and, ladies, you know you did it. You got emotions involved in basketball. How did that happen? How? Hostile act. I watched. I reverse watched through a mirror. Horrible. Three basketball games, and all of them, I turned them off because I'm like, I can't I can't take this. This.

[Brady]

Was that left or right hand?

[John Holmberg]

Well, first off, there's where your brain is not going to do well with backwards TV and the screen. You have to. I learned to read backwards in a couple of days on a mirror. On a tv, everything goes scrolls throughout. And I started to see. Started to make sense. It was weird. And then what else? There was. What else did we. What else did I miss

[Brady]

last night?

[John Holmberg]

Geez.

[Brady]

I guess earlier this morning we lost Lewis.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Lewis from Revenge and Urgent. The other thing about the BAFTA awards, which I didn't know. I didn't know Brett went to the BAFTAs. Okay, you can be black, white, or otherwise. You've got to laugh at that. That was horrible and hilarious at the same time. Because a dude with Tourette's at the British Oscars saw Michael B. Jordan and Delroy. Delroy Lindo, and he couldn't help but just scream the N word a couple of times. And the guy who played him in the movie about him won best actor. So he was being celebrated as like, look how. You know the way actors do. They get all lefty weird and start talking about, like, oh, we're for everybody and anybody with a disability deserves to be heard. Except for when he. Towards Michael B. Jordan. You're like, oh, my God, the guy's from Delro. He stopped. He stopped. It's.

[Brady]

And then he continued on.

[John Holmberg]

He's like, oh, it's the Tourette's guy. You hope.

[Brady]

And then Alan Cumming had to come up later and say, by the way, you've been gay.

[John Holmberg]

Explain it. Yeah, we're trying to be super liberal with everything because that one. That one took us by surprise.

[Brett Vesely]

I wish Will Smith was up there and seen what happened then.

[John Holmberg]

Come on, mother, just smack him. Smack the Tourette's guy. And then here again. Oh, my God, that had me rolling. Because you can't. There's no getting around it. The political correctness of that word. Destroying everything. Unless a Tourette's guy does it because he can't help.

[Brady]

It's the only pass.

[John Holmberg]

But it's the only pass me. Something about Tourette's. They see it. He didn't yell that at Will Ferrell. He was like, oh, so it was in his brain. It was racist and it was calculated. He just couldn't keep it inside. It's like that bailing out loud. Girl can't see a bald person without going, you're bald. I might not take him out in public ever, but he did it twice. The first time, you're like, shut up. Oh, no. Tourette's. And then he blasts off a second one out of nerves. And you're always covering his mouth like, I can't help it.

[Brady]

Ted, you want to go to the NBA game?

[John Holmberg]

Why don't you take you over to. I think Stomp is playing at Gammage. If you want to go over and watch that percussion and we go to

[Brett Vesely]

the Boom Boom Room afterwards.

[John Holmberg]

I ain't hanging out with that dude, Tourette's or otherwise. You can say I'm a bigot. I'm not hanging out with Tourette's guy at all.

[Brett Vesely]

His dad, David Duke, was like, that's my boy. That's my boy.

[Brady]

It's just not gonna. You're talking about. He's got Tourette's. Don't care.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. He. I don't care at all. I don't like you. You have Tourette's. You're gonna get me fired. He's got Tourette's. He can't help it. Yeah, well, you know what? Keep him away from situations which. You know, what words he uses.

[Brett Vesely]

That's not like it's the first time he used it.

[John Holmberg]

No, I mean, come on.

[Brett Vesely]

Watching different Strokes on reruns.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. He's screaming it constantly at home.

[Brady]

I wish we could add a camera at the.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

To watch everybody just go, yeah. And meanwhile, the dude who was playing him in the movie has his BAFTA in front of him like, I'm the best actor of all time. I played this gentleman. His had quite a struggle, and stop. Was great. I died laughing. Oh, yeah. And then the other thing I got. I feel vindicated once again. I often complain that Mexico is the biggest dump on the planet. And why anybody would defend or wave that flag of that dump of a country. It isn't the people. People confuse that. The people of Mexico. Mexican people, Fine. That country is a disaster. End of story. And there's 24 million escapees. Can't be wrong. There's a problem down there, and I've been seeing it for years. We got plenty of nice beaches over in California, and we got Hawaii, and we got Florida, and we got even Texas. And I'm not even gonna say, like, Louisiana, but there's some of that stuff. Alabama, Carolina, the Bama shore. Not in Carolinas. Think of all the beaches we have in the States. What people go to Mexico for isn't the beauty and awesomeness of Mexico. It's that it's dirt cheap. And I've said that for years. There's a reason it's dirt cheap. There's a high chance, much higher than than Raleigh, that you're gonna have your head chopped off by a drug cartel or be part of some sort of weird thing. Oh look, beautiful. The mountain towns are so pretty. And no, it's not at any given time. And I've said this about people I've met. I said it about CB Dalloway, who I thought the world of. I thought he was such a cool dude when I was doing all that training over there with him and Ryan Bader and cb and I said CB is a trip to Mexico. He's awesome. But it always feels like something could go wrong at any moment. That's Mexico. Morning sickness 98k u p d well,

[Larry]

it's now the NBA's time to shine. For us Suns fans, that means fast breaks and buzzer beaters are front and cent dictator for Underdog, the app where picking the NBA can score you 5,000 times your money. And playing on Underdog is so easy. Just pick a players will go higher or lower on their stats. And here's a sneaky good play I like. Take Grayson Allen higher on three point attempts and Mark Williams higher on rebounds. But whatever the stat line you like, Underdog's got it. So play on Underdog with me and download the app today and use promo code HMS to score $75 in bonus entries when you play your first $5 underdog make picks win money must be 18 +, 19 in Alabama and Nebraska, 19+ in Colorado for some games, 21+ in Ariz, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where Underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800-MY-RESET or 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org Arizona 1-800-Next Step 1-800-639-8783 or text Next Step to 533-42 New York, call the 247 Hope Line at 1-87-7-8, Hope NY or text Hopeny to 467-369.

[John Holmberg]

Celebrate 25 years of pool perfection at Blue Wave Pools, Open House and Customer Appreciation Day, Saturday, February 28th from 10 to 2. Join the fun at their newly remodeled showroom on Dobson and Baseline in Mesa. Food, drinks, kids activities, prizes and raffles included. Plus for a limited time, get $2,500 off a new pool purchase now through March. Come celebrate, save big and make a splash with Blue wave pools. Visit bluewavepoolsaz.com or schedule a consultation today. Holmberg's Morning Sickness and just because you're cheap. And you want to say, oh, we can get poor. It's so beautiful and it's safe where the whites are. That's. Everybody says the same thing. And guess what?

[Brady]

Steps away from diarrhea.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not even worried about the food, Brady. You want to take it to food? I'm talking about getting your head chopped off by the drug cartels who are running the entire nation. End of story. You wouldn't go there if it was in Europe. You'd think it was awful. But because it's close and because it's cheap, everybody has this weird excuse for it. It's a dump. Ask any Mexican who escaped it. Like, Mexico's beautiful visually, so San Francisco, also a dump, to be fair. We can say they look good, but there's a lot wrong with it. My friend and I go back and forth and I transcribed his text to me while he sat in his hotel room in his. Oh, he's there. He's there.

[Brady]

Oh, now it's been lifted.

[John Holmberg]

He got back. He got back at like 4 in the morning. It says, john says, johnny, we have jokingly gone back and forth about Mexico in the past. You have never wanted to come with me. He's got a cabin in Talla Pala palace, where the shooting happened. It's in some mountain town. I'm like, I'll never go there. Will you go with me? I will never go there. You always said, you know what's Never a story? 14,000 people heading south caught at the Mexican border, sneaking in. You've always told me, enjoy your head while you have it. Enjoy the crappiest place in the Western hemisphere. And I always laughed and said, he's an idiot. Well, it looks like I picked the wrong week to prove you right. It says, I've never been so afraid as I was when the stay in place was ordered at my resort. And the barrel of a gun, mind you, was the thing keeping us in. It wasn't a friendly stay inside. It was, get the F in there and stay in there, or else this entire thing's been a disaster. He lives in, like, this gated community. I guess it's gated. I mean, think of it that way. He's got the. It's a. It's a golf resort. He's got a place there. He goes, yeah. I don't know if it's timeshare or what his deal is. He said, this has been an absolute disaster. I got home 5am Sunday. We were one of the first groups to get out Hawaii from now on, to quote you again, it's cheap for a reason. You're exactly right, William. Exactly right. Why do people constantly make excuses for the world's like the, like North America's butthole is. It's a gross place. And it's not the people and it's not the visuals. It's because you're being cheap.

[Brady]

And most of the time it's not where they go.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's never there. No, not at all. No. 60 something people got shot when they found this guy because he wanted to have sex with a girl. The El Mencho or whatever his name is, he found, they found out some text and stuff said, oh, Mencho is going to have sex and he brings like this entourage of protection with him and he's in the town. 65 people got killed. And there are always like, I had, I sat at my gaze one night with a girl who seemed logical and she goes, if Trump gets elected, I'm moving to Mexico. And I'm like, you got to be kidding me. Like, Mexico is better than here because of Trump? Oh my God, yes. I'm like, no. If you have political divides in your brain to where you're like, I can't stand the politics. Mexico can't be your escape route. That can't be the one where you go. There's safe passage. That's where I'll go. It's like, I've got a place down there and I'll just go to Mexico and I'll be. And I'll just, I'm just gonna ride it out. While Trump's friend, like, I understand you don't like Trump and there's plenty of reasons he gives you. The worst Trump can be is 10 times better than anything. Mexico is end of story, period, blank. And people confuse that with. You hate Mexicans. No, I root for them. I think that's, you know, you gotta get away from that mess. I understand why you're running out. I understand why there's so many people escaping here because you can, at any moment, you can just be enjoying your

[Brady]

day,

[John Holmberg]

probably watching Colombian's landscape for you, because I think it just keeps moving south to like Antarctica. Like they're like, there's penguins doing landscaping down in Peru. But yeah, you're just having a nice day. But then, you know, off in the distance, everybody back in the house.

[Brady]

And now you have a certain number of people that are going down now, hey, they've lifted back.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sure.

[Brady]

Things are going to be even cheaper.

[John Holmberg]

You're being.

[Brady]

They want us back There.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. You're being cheap.

[Brady]

There's deal.

[John Holmberg]

It is. There's nothing but cheapness involved in why you go, yes, visually stunning. Yes, it's. It's nice, so long as you don't get killed. But there's always that option. I've never, you know, it's always a threat. Chicago, yeah. You get messed up in. But for the most part, it's rare that, you know, 60 or 70.

[Brady]

The wrong parts of town there.

[John Holmberg]

Right. But 60 or 70 people aren't going to kill you because they're more in charge than the politicians are. Like, just close. But they're close to Chicago. You got one up there? Yeah. It's like, well, there's argument to be made for that. South side, probably.

[Brett Vesely]

I'll take chances in Chicago over Mexico.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, I'll go to a Cubski. Yeah. I'm not going down to a friendly between Mexico and the U.S. and Mexico City just because it's like, this might end up bad. And I know it's not constant, but it's enough. Like, we've done this show for 25 years. It's probably the 15th time we've had the. Oh, yeah, they've shut down all Puerto Vallarta because they found all those human heads. That's just. That's a real story. Remember when they started finding all those heads, they're like, oh, these are tourist heads. We gotta do something about that.

[Brady]

Bodies hanging on the bridge.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, they had people just.

[Brady]

Yeah, there's just seven of them.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Brady]

Strung up.

[John Holmberg]

That's enough. Enough, enough. It's logic I'm using. Logic is what I'm using. And there's too many times that you hear, wait a minute, what? It went all sideways. And if anybody points a gun at you, at the Phoenician and says, get the back in there. Phoenicians no longer on the menu. It's out. Like, I was at the Phoenician once. They pointed a gun at me and told me I couldn't leave. Like, why? Oh, there's like a drug kingpin that was wandering around Camelback and a bunch of guys got shot. But, I mean, the pool is so pretty. You would never, ever start talking about how awesome the biltmore is if 65 people got shot there because the drug lord had a rendezvous and then you got a gun shoved in your forehead, said, get back in your room. You're not going back to the Biltmore anymore. I don't know why Mexico still gets a pass. Hits the Michael Jordan of vacations for some reason, it can do anything it wants. And we still go here, but it's like a dollar now.

[Brett Vesely]

I'll take a fingering from Jordan before I go to Mexico. Screw that.

[John Holmberg]

It just proves my point. I would too. For sure. I would let. I would blow Michael Jordan every day in the month of March before I'd ever take a trip to Mexico in my lifetime. I would be. I would. I would develop a, like a taste for it. Oh yeah. I'd be like, I'd start want. I'd crave it by the ides of March. I'd be like, I need Michael Jordan's wang now. Before. And they're like, you want to go to Mexico? No, no, I gotta blow Michael Jordan a lot. I would have throat problems. I'd be. It would be constant compared to a trip to Mexico because you get what you pay for. Convenience always trumps logic. Convenience always trumps safety. Convenience always trumps freedom.

[Brett Vesely]

So did your buddy call Doug Hopkins from Mexico? Hey man, I'll take the five grand.

[John Holmberg]

Hopkins told him.

[Brady]

Hopkins, no offer.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no, there's no offer because the five thousand dollar guarantee is worth seventeen of those houses. I mean, what'd you pay for that? And he goes, I got it for like $28,000. I'm like, Jesus Christ. It's like 4,000 square feet. I'm like, no kidding. I'm like, what is that in pesos? And he goes, 75 trillion. Like, good Christ.

[Brady]

As long as nothing goes wrong with the cartel, I'll have that house.

[John Holmberg]

That's a big ask.

[Brady]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

The word cartel being involved in my neighborhood is too much. We get up, my neighborhood gets upset when. When Indians walk through, goes on neighborhood watch. Does anybody recognize these kids? It's like, Jesus, you took pictures of brown people and you scared the neighbors. Like, I've never seen who's who. Who do these belong to? I've never seen these two around. It's only got a bow and arrow and a bear with them. They were just a couple of kids walking through the area. I mean, we had him arrested. We're not stupid, just in case. But yeah, cartel. The minute the word cartel is involved, and I've told this guy, and I had another friend also named Bill down there, he's friends with me and he's a season ticket holder with me for the Suns. And he's down there too. I don't know where he was though. I think he was in Puerto Vallarta. And he's like, we had to stay in place. We were texting with him. And I said all of this. Well, Kevin and I were teasing him before I found out Willie was over there. But Kevin and I were teasing Bill that he's part of that. Like, he killed him. Because I'm like. Because he's like. He's always like, oh, no. It's like, beautiful. I was like, everywhere we went was so nice. Like, yeah, look in your rear view mirror. Like, you're. You're putting your rose colored glasses on to get through Mexico because it cost you 20 bucks. Let me be the bravest American alive when I say Mexico sucks 100% across the board. You can go there. But I don't feel sorry for you when a dude pokes you in the chest with a gun and says, get back in your room. And I feel sorry for you at all. You know the risks of that? Dump my. My buddy Jani from Sudan. He goes down to Central America. Johnny, you got to come with me to Medellin. Not happening ever. He tries to get me to go to the cd.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's the thing that will never be comfortable. I'm telling you, Colombia is the safest place right now.

[John Holmberg]

People talk about that like crazy. And I'm like, it's the cheapest place. You're making it safe in your brain. Sudan. Jani, that son of a bitch, tried to get me to go to Sudan with him that time. And a week later, the whole village I would have been staying in, we'd have left by then. But one week after Jenny left on the trip he wanted me to go on, which was. Was a hard pass from Jump. It's Africa. Thank you, Brad. Mine. Not happening all the way. It is. I would have brought that Tourette's actor. He's like, no, it's so. It's beautiful.

[Brady]

And they will.

[John Holmberg]

And he's sending me pictures of people in cupd shirts that he brought with him. And I'm like, that's lovely, but I don't really think that's. Whatever. And they seem nice and, like, they were eating. That's for sure. A lot of fat guys. And then a week later, he's like, oh, terrible news from my village. I'm like, that sentence right there shouldn't be said in 2026. Terrible news from my village. I got a pigeon. Deliver that. No, there were 20, 25 people killed by warlords. Like, in your village. Yeah, the one I was gonna join you in. Yes. And you still kind of shake your head when I say I'm not going to the Sudan with you. You'll be fine, John. It's so rare. But it isn't. It just happened.

[Brett Vesely]

Been.

[John Holmberg]

You got a sign. It's been six days since the last Warlord killed someone. Warlords. The word. Yeah, I'm out. I'm out. If that's in the brochure, it's like, yeah, watch out for Warlords. Like, no, I don't. I never have to watch out for Warlords if I don't go to where terms with them. Yeah, I don't go where they tell you you can't talk to the Warlords. Oh yeah, yeah, no, I won't do that. I'm not going to be anywhere near them. If there's a gang of sixth graders who call themselves the Warlords, I'm steering clear of it. Because they're up to no good. Mexico sucks. Sorry, Not Mexicans. Mexico. It's being run into the ground by horrible people. And just because the beaches are a dollar and beautiful doesn't mean it makes it better. It doesn't. It makes you make an excuse for it. We've got a place in Puerto Vallarta. We talked about it off the air. It's like playing ball in the house. You're gonna keep going and you're gonna, hey, we've been getting away with it for a long time. Until that Nerf bounces off a headboard and goes careening across the room and knocks a lamp over that your great grandma gave your grandma gave your mom. And the next thing you know, playing ball in the house is the worst idea you've ever had. It's all good till it ain't. Mexico sucks. Go to San Diego, it's almost the same. You go to the Southern. Expensive. It's because it's pricey. It's almost exactly the same. Central California's beaches are beautiful, but they're pricey.

[Brett Vesely]

A five dollar corona is better than a 50 cent corona when you know you're not gonna get your head chopped off.

[John Holmberg]

Five dollar Corona is better. Yeah, than coming home with your head in the back. Right? Iraq has some beautiful places and they're cheap. I talked to guys who were there and they're like, the whole country sucks. But then there's a couple spots, you're like, this place is magnificent. My one friend was there and he was by a lake and he's like, this is the dirtiest, smelliest place I've ever been in my life. But we're sitting by this lake and we're like, this is gorgeous. Like it was purple and the sun setting. He's like, it's beautiful, and it kind of takes you back to go, oh, it's the people. It's people. It's everybody running this thing that's the problem. It's not the landscape.

[Brady]

I look at it now, like, Kirby, we look at me like I look at my dad when he went to Cuba in the late 50s. Wow.

[John Holmberg]

You looked at a lot of people.

[Brady]

I went to.

[John Holmberg]

I've missed him.

[Brady]

Places. I went to Mexico. That you can't go anymore.

[John Holmberg]

What does your dad in Cuba have to do with that?

[Brady]

That. That I went to these places where I'm like, this is crazy that he went there. And now these are places you're not allowed to go to.

[John Holmberg]

It's my first Brady Story. My first Brady story in a week and a half. And God damn it, I miss you. I still don't follow, but I understand.

[Brady]

Well, the fact that my dad was in Cuba during that time. I was down in Mexico during a time when all this stuff was going on.

[John Holmberg]

But at the same time, your dad was in Cuba.

[Brady]

Oh, much later.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta get back in the groove here, Brett. I'm trying follow the bouncing ball. I kind of get what you're saying. What's.

[Brady]

Kirby, you can't go to Ziwantineo or Acapulco. Those have been kind of, like, shunned for a while. Those used to be the destination.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brett Vesely]

That was the place of the stars in the 50s and 60s and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. In Mexico. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Back before, what, you'd go have dinner and Washington?

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sure, it was beautiful because they had cliff diving and. And all the beautiful scenery and all that, and. Oh, God. Didn't have a drug cartel running the entire operation. And you probably had to pay a pretty penny. That's why celebrities were the only ones down there now. Any rube with a pack of Shafers and Keystone can roll out in his toy hauler. And $35 later, he spent a month down there. He's got a house. Yeah. It's just a bad place. Anyway, what are you gonna do? Jesus, this is pathetic. I don't want to read that one right away.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, not right away.

[John Holmberg]

I'll get to that in a moment. I've only got one good eye. We can take a picture of me and we'll get to my. My story over the last week and my plea to all of you. I've already. I've already saved a couple of people from this. I found some stuff out through this ordeal I've gone through in the last week and a Half that is. It's just mind blowing. What we ignore and what can. What can change and eyeballs are my favorite part. And we'll get to the whole story later. Are the people who said I thought Schwartz Laser Eye center was. Yeah. When in my commercials for the Schwartz Laser Eye center did I say jay Schwartz will make your eyes impervious to trouble. You'll never have a problem again. In fact, you get laser vision and nothing. Things can still go wrong. I can still get my arm lopped off even though I went to the core Institute. I could still get something.

[Brady]

Get your knee redone.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. I can still have something happen. Like that is unrelated to the good part. It was so weird that people. And that's just where we are in the world. It's black and white. Oh, he talks about Schwarzenegger, Eisenhower. I guess it's not so great, is it? Like he's not at my house every day. I've never. This problem of torn retina is horrifying.

[Brett Vesely]

You had that done years ago too. Like last week.

[John Holmberg]

The cataract surgery I had from son or a trauma from years ago. Who knows? But. But the lasik had nothing to do with it. But getting good vision is nothing to do Torn retina is horrifying. I've been through a lot of surgeries. I've been through a lot of stuff. Nothing will f you up more mentally and physically than when your eye goes south. And I'll tell you about that in a little bit. We'll get that. We need a wake up song. 585-9800 a good one to get a start. I have to say thanks to you guys and Larry for whatever you did here for the last few days. I'm not sure how much I'm going to hear about anything. Probably a good thing.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, Larry brought some bagels in yesterday. You missed out.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I'm fine with that.

[Brady]

There's a morning cup.

[John Holmberg]

Yesterday he sent me a picture of the bagels the night before bringing bagels. And he was so happy and prepared and the exact opposite of me.

[Brett Vesely]

We got emails. We're just trading one Jew for another Jew. So we got a bunch of those emails for a Jew.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I mean that's like real Jew stuff. I will tell you this.

[Brady]

It got a little weird on last Friday. Over Thursday, Larry actually did a AI obituary.

[John Holmberg]

He told me about that and he

[Brady]

read it, the whole thing.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, this is where was it killing people? Me. Yeah. I don't know why.

[Brady]

That is very detailed.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't know why. Every time somebody gets sick, people like, think it's hilarious to do an obituary, a funeral for them. And it's like, there's nothing.

[Brady]

There wasn't anything, you know, like comedic

[John Holmberg]

value in that obituary. Yeah. He texted me after and he goes, yeah, we did the obituary thing this morning. Oh, yeah. I don't care what you do. I'm not listening. I'm. I'm faced. I'm not doing it. I'm miserable. Never been more miserable in my life. And I said. I said, I'm not listening. He got a little dark. I'm like, okay, I'm fine. It's not. Don't worry about it.

[Brady]

That's good.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And I'm fine with dark. But Dirk has to have a punchline, you know, like spit in his mouth like we did earlier.

[Brady]

And then Brett was giving out gas.

[Brett Vesely]

That's right.

[John Holmberg]

That I heard was something. It was raining, right?

[Brett Vesely]

It was really cold.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And real overcast, so.

[John Holmberg]

And then people got on their bikes, rode over there, got free gas and went to Mexico. Pretty much save more money. Let's get a wake up song. Five eight five nine, eight hundred. A good one and we'll scream it together. It's 98K up. Wake up. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio stat.

[Larry]

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[John Holmberg]

the job done right.

[Larry]

Stop by Fisher Tools and Tempe for big promotions on top brands and start that project with the right tools at the right price. Visit fishertools.com for details. Fisher Tools, your project deserves the best tools and so do you.

[John Holmberg]

Fishertools.com It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness, and I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my [e-mail]. you've heard me mention Kevin Costner, Trey McBride, other countless celebrities and pro athletes and how they chose lifted trucks. But that doesn't mean it's only for actors and pro athletes. It's for all of you. Everybody who loves a cool adventure. So if you're a huge celebrity like me or just an average Joe who wants the best truck available, head on over to Lifted Trucks. They live up to being the number one custom truck dealer for overtime. 30 years, 10,000 five star reviews can't be wrong. Liftedtrucks.com work hard, play hard, drive harder. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Cruising through. It's good to be home. It's good to be back here. I have never thought I'd say, I couldn't wait to get back. I was worried the entire time as Dale Hellestra checked in with me. Brady checked in with me. Paul Sura, our former production guy, checked in with me. And it dawned on me at that very moment that there was a. There was a chance in life that those three gentlemen will be at my funeral. And that scared me to death. That is. That's not the way it's supposed to be. Not that I was close to dying, but, man, it just. I can't imagine that you three would be like, can you believe it? John's got, like, the. Like, Paul. And Paul's like, yeah. Not so great being active now, is it? Because it is an active. Anyway, we'll get to that.

[Brett Vesely]

I'd have lost that fanduel bet on either two of those being at your wedding before.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, my wedding. You're the same. That's never gonna. That's never gonna come to fruition either. But, yeah, it was weird. So we'll get to that. I do like that Scott Haynes is back already. And he. He says, man, after watching the Bafto Awards, I realized Nicole Curtis needs to go get a doctor's note real quick and start that fixer upper show with Tourette's. That's a great idea. Claim Tourette's.

[Brady]

Boy, that story has twists in itself, too.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. I don't know who the hell is on her side at the network that they couldn't just scrub that. It's not lies. Their own stuff. I know it's not lies.

[Brady]

Someone did that.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brett Vesely]

We'll turn somebody down.

[John Holmberg]

She. Exactly. She asked, can we get rid of that? I mean, it's what Beavis and Butthead used to say. Fart knocker all the time. And I used to laugh at that. And I think that's. But she didn't. She went Tourette's on it. Lost her DIY show. But if she went Tourette, can you imagine how great it would be for. You know, she has, like, the, Like, Tourette's version of a fixer upper show. I. I've never stopped watching that.

[Brady]

It's interesting, though. You find out about the show that she puts it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Sells it to them.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So she actually will probably roll out. I guess. If not, she already has anything.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody.

[Brady]

Independently.

[John Holmberg]

But again, she's got people. She's not all by herself. There's financiers and there's people putting her away that are no longer going to take that risk. She is not worth the risk right now. And she herself shouldn't be like, I'm going to start again. She's not worth her own risk at this point.

[Brett Vesely]

Start the only fans page.

[John Holmberg]

She is what I call myself when I'm friends with Kevin Ray and stuff. I am brand liability. And not because I say stuff like that, but when you're trying to keep it on the straight and narrow and you're with a jackass. I had a girl ask me a couple weeks ago, so how do you have an Instagram page? And I'm like, I get fired in like a week. Like, why? She was like, I say a lot of dumb stuff and. But if I do it on the radio, it's in context. If I just fired off a thought that I think is like, again, Michael Jordan's finger in that boy, at least spitting his mouth would be something I would. I would have put out. I'd be like, what do you mean, spit? Well, that's what dirty uncles do to their nieces when they're doing that. You know, you've never read what dirty uncles do. They spit in their mouth, and if it misses, it hits them in the face and just blends with the tears like you've never. And that next thing, you know, like, he can't have jobs anymore. As I try to explain my way out of spit in their mouth, all the girls in trailers know what I'm talking about. The uncle spits in your mouth. Like, that's a thing. Geez, why am I the bad guy? Michael says, hey, Chancellor. Well, it wasn't you. I think Larry and the boys did a good enough job. Larry has quite a personality, and it's sort of funny, but the haters just gonna hate. It's not about hating. Larry came in here and did a nice thing. He filled in, that's a good thing. Like, we love Larry. And then this one says, I hope your recovery is going well. I miss you. No homo. That's from Ryan. I got a lot of those. Thank you for that. I'll just kind of leave it at that. And then people were very nice, and then a few of them were mean and then said, you know what you should do? And I'm thinking about this. This actually isn't bad, is take the tapes of the Larry shows and just plop them on Trip's desk and go we're doubling my pay. This is, this is a, this could, this, this could turn into a, a complete and utter dick move on my part going, yeah, week off. And how'd that go? Paul Marshall's available. Yeah. If you're interested in going that well, he's just double my pay or I'm going to get another eye injury. Christ, he's on to it. All right, fine. No more eye injury. Also, before we get into the I story, did anybody else notice that Obama said there's aliens and then didn't?

[Brady]

A little bit.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, I saw that.

[John Holmberg]

Did anybody else see that? He just went, yep.

[Brady]

He just said so much alien talk lately.

[John Holmberg]

We are not amazed at anything anymore.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

A former president sat in a podcast. Oh, yeah, there's aliens. Sure. And nobody said what. There was a story or two. He had an opportunity to kind of back it down a little. But he nonchalantly, when they asked him, like, what's the first thing you did when you were president? It's the same thing Clinton said. It's the same thing Bush said, show me the aliens. I want the ships. And they're like, no. And then Obama, even if it's a conspiracy to keep the President out of the loop, they did a good job. But yeah, there's aliens. It's like, we're not gonna follow up on that. You just asked about Big Mike. After that, get back on the alien train. So my hope is tonight at the State of the Union to kind of divert everything from the Epstein files and what's going on in Iran. Trump, the US Hockey team. We love them. We love them. And I'd like, I'd like this moment to not only say that the USA hockey team had all the support of the usa, but it also had the support of Gorlok. Let's bring him out. Gorlock's here and he brings out an alien tonight. Here he is, what Obama was talking about.

[Brady]

He's in the upper deck.

[John Holmberg]

He's just waving with his eight fingered hands. That's right. Go like usa, usa. He just said usa, usa. He was watching hockey. We taught Gorlock hockey. He's very good. And Gorlock's here. And that is just gonna go right past everybody because you don't care. Aliens are real. According to a former president of the United States who basically wasn't guessing. Oh, yeah, no, they're all over. So Mike has an agenda for working out with kids. You're not going to follow up. You're a terrible journalist. He said, they're real and here's my thought on that. They're coming and they know it, and they're prepping with the calmest, most trusted. You don't have to like his politics, but when Obama talks, people like, all right, that's probably true, right? For the most part, even if you hate him, you're kind of like, yeah, that dude's pretty reliable.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know. He still calls Big Mike Michelle.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, come on. Everything.

[John Holmberg]

Let's. Let's not take the outlier and make it the norm. Yes, he's in denial that his wife is a man, but other than that,

[Brady]

your jaw's gonna drop. The one day he says, big Mike.

[Brett Vesely]

When he whips it. When she whips that crank out.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. So we were at a romantic dinner, and she hit me in the face with her dick. Oops. We all know that everybody's got a little something. No matter how calm and collected and cool everybody seems on the outside, they got something going on. His happens to be. His wife's a man. That's okay. He can let him live that delusion. But he also was a pretty trusted voice and a nice spokesperson. I didn't like his politics either. But what I did appreciate about him was he was a good spokesperson. He could take in calm situations. Whether he was lying or not, he could calm a situation. He was a good orator. And he had. He had a trust factor that you might not have liked what he said, but it was probably pretty on point. A guy who is president for eight years and doesn't have a single scandal outside of that, Big Mike. Well, that's not really a scandal. That's just personal choice, you know, and everybody's gonna start barking. He had this, he had that. Yeah, he had some stuff. But, I mean, let's be honest. When he goes on a podcast and says, oh, yeah, there's aliens, and nobody says, tell me more, and then they pull away, and he's so protected, like, he can't step in his own poop, that they protected him from that. And then pulled back and said, give him an opportunity to fix this.

[Brady]

Never.

[John Holmberg]

If Trump said, oh, we've got aliens, like, it would be constantly on, like, show us. And he'd be digging holes in the backyard of the White House. Not here. Maybe they're over there.

[Brady]

He.

[John Holmberg]

We would have teams of people searching. What did he just say? Never have a chance to back it up. But I think a trusted, calm voice like that saying, oh, yeah, there's aliens, and everybody kind of being like, all right, it's out. After they had the military guy, if he's cool with it. He's basically prepping for 40, 50 years from now that it's going to be said a little more often here and there more often. We can't have Trump doing it because it just, it's too much. It's the kid at the end the, at the birthday party that said too much cake. He's running, he'll wreck the room. The calm voices have to say, oh, yeah, that's a thing. And then when they start like saying, oh, we've been telling you this for Obama. Told you a long time ago. Yeah, they're here. We're about three or four more years from now. I would guess we're about 30 or 40 years from contact.

[Brett Vesely]

Not good. I won't be here.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, same curse. I want to be here and I want them to be military. I would like that. You know, big old battle. I've been prepping for that since I was five when Star wars came out. I'm like, this is my future. This, I want this last. Everything we've been shown since we were kids. Breton, you and I, Brady was a little older, but you were still has been space related craziness. Everything has been like prepping us for when ET Shows up, when the last starfighter, when a dude shows up in a video game and says, we need you to go fight the battles. And, and we all kind of. That makes sense now. It all makes sense to us. If it were to happen. Obama said storyline came from. Well, yeah, I mean, it's kind of a thing. It's like, let's just get them ready. And now it's. Now it's live in rooms with trusted voices saying, sure, it would have been like Walter Cronkite back in the 60s. President Kennedy was dead. There's aliens. We'll be right back. Like, what was the last thing, like, you would have. It would have been, oh, okay, we can stay calm because the dude we trust the most says it. Tom Brokaw, NBC News. There's aliens like, okay, we trust him. That makes sense. Trump can't be the one. This is a very. There's some thin ice, Trump. If Trump finds out about the aliens and has like info, he's leaking it. That's why I'm pretty sure they keep it from the president just in case they get a wild card like this one and he ain't. He will use that ace in his sleeve. You know what I haven't told you yet. Yeah, oh, no. Aliens. I've got one in the house. I think Baron might be one. The kid's 11ft tall. He won't stop growing. All right, we'll get to what it is. Here's what happened. Here's why I wasn't here all week. Last week and yesterday. This is the craziest thing in the world. And Troy Hayden of Channel 12 was texting me, and he goes, what's going on? And he was asking because, A, concern, B, selfishness. He's got something that he was concerned about. Enough. I say this now out of experience

[Brady]

rather than going to a doctor.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah. Well, no. He's like, what was going on? Like, should I worry about what's. I'm ignoring some. Something. First off, when there's no pain, a man doesn't react. I know that women love going to doctors. Men don't. And when there's no pain, men don't do anything about anything. So I. Like. I will tell you from experience now. Floaters in your eyes that are visible before your vision are a telltale sign something's going weird, right?

[Brett Vesely]

It's like if your eyes are closed and you're seeing floaters or.

[John Holmberg]

Well, when you're. When your eyes are open and you're seeing floaters. So I always say this, like the. And now I mean it more than ever. The Jay Schwartz commercials where I'm like, get your complimentary consultation. Go and just get your eyes looked at, because they don't let you know unless they're poked or burned that something's really bad happening. I had two tears in my right eye and my retina two nearly detached and, like, no pain. None. When it finally tore. No pain. And my eye filled with blood. And that's all I saw. So two weeks ago, Wednesday, I was sitting on the couch watching tv, and I audibly. What's with all the goddamn gnats? Where are they coming from?

[Brady]

Waving them away.

[John Holmberg]

Some were real, which screwed me up because I'd get one every once in a while. I got him, like, now. Little son of a bitch. Did he get loose? And I'm batting at gnats and driving me nuts. And then I'm in the car and I'm like, these goddamn. I'm stupid. Keep in mind I'm stupid. These goddamn gnats are following me around. I'm at work.

[Brady]

Jesus.

[John Holmberg]

The gnats are. We've got a problem with gnats. I was basically Nathan Johnson. He hates these cans. I couldn't put it together so early in the season. For them, it's because the weather's so nice and the gnats are loose and we get gnats, and I'm swatting little bugs and I can't get them. And they're right there. Like this thing is. It looks like I'm waving through it. And it was big. It wasn't like a normal little.it was a gnat. I'm swatting at it. So that was like Wednesday, Thursday. The gnats are still there, but I'm kind of ignoring them now. Now I'm just assume that's just something we're going to deal with. It's a new thing in Phoenix. And I'm talking to other people and, oh, we got nats all. I'm like, yeah, me too. So the Thursday, I'm starting to get nats again. Friday, I'm at work here, and I start seeing. I get these weird flashes, like these bright flashlight flashes in my right eye. I'm like, wow, that was weird. It didn't hurt, but it was like, it looked like when somebody's watching, catches the sun and it hits you in the eye. It was that. And so I got that, and I was like, well, that's weird. And then I started to feel strange, like this foggy kind of vision in my right eye. Like, that's not good. And I chalked it up to, I think I'm having a migraine. I think I've got the start. I haven't had a migraine in a long time. I'm like, I think I'm having a migraine headache. And it's starting. So I went in my office on Friday. Not last Friday, the Friday before. And I laid on the couch and Tripp walked by. What are you doing? Because he didn't like people laying down at work. That's frowned upon in most office places outside of hospitals and kindergarten. And I said, I don't. I think I got a migraine started. I didn't know you had those. I'm like, me neither. So it kind of clears up and I just got a little bit of foggy vision. But I'm like, that's strange. But I probably exerted myself. I've been working out a lot. I probably did something, just kind of pull the bluff. I was, whatever. So Saturday, I go about my business. I'm hanging out with some people or just that, and the other. My friend Chuck Powell's in town. So I hang out with Chuck and nothing major. Saturday, go about my business again, have some fun. Up late, go back. Then Lay down. Sunday, I get up and I start doing these, this drill thing and this cool thing called blaze pods. You can see them on Instagram all the time. But I bought them. And they're neat. They're little light up pods that you can set up all over. And your phone will light one individual one up and you tap it and it, it's, it can be a drill for your brain. It can be a drill physically. So I had them spread out in the backyard about 50 yards. There's six of them. And then you stand in the middle and just kind of do football drills where your feet are moving. It's like cardio thing. And then the phone will lighten one up and you go tap it. Then you run back to home and you tap the next one. You run back. So I'm going. And you bend it over, tapping it, bending over, tapping it, it. And I go for about three rounds. And then the, the, the what ended up being the last one I run down. I hit the thing. And when I stood up, my right eye was like a lava lamp. Like I was looking through an absolute lava lamp. And I'm like, that's weird. But what do I do that'll clear itself up. And I just keep going, not knowing that every time I bent over, I was tearing it a little more. So I, I, you know, the lava lamp is going. And that's all I see now. And I'm like, that's blood. Like my, my, my body told me that's blood in your eye. And I'd touch my eye and I'd be like, there's nothing on the outside. I went and looked, actually. I took the camera on the phone and spun it and I'm like, it's fine. Why? We're good. Something just popped. It'll fix itself. There's no pain. And when there's no pain, you don't worry. I wasn't worried at all. There's no pain. This will go away. So I keep working out a little bit and then I'm like, no, this is bad. Like, this is, this is a lot of blood. And I need to just ignore this somewhere else. And that's exactly what I did. I went in the house and I sat down and I'm like, that's a lot of blood.

[Brett Vesely]

Typical guy move, dude move.

[John Holmberg]

Like I broke a blood vessel. It doesn't hurt. This can't be bad. So I go, you know, I had again, my friend Chuck Powell in town, and the boys had said, we're all going to meet up and Go to Trevor's and have a dinner. Like, okay, so I go and meet them and at that point I had probably what appeared to be like a penny sized circle of blood in my sight line. So it's about the size of a penny that was just floating around in my right eye of blood. When I'd move my eye, it would burst and turn into lava lamp again and then pull down into that little weird ball. And so I tried not to move my eye a lot. That was my solution to that. Go through dinner with Wilson and Colin and Chuck and I'm.

[Larry]

What does it look like to them?

[John Holmberg]

Nothing.

[Larry]

It wasn't just like yours showed us

[John Holmberg]

your eyes right now? No, no, that was post surgery. The picture of me was after I had surgery.

[Larry]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

So I get, I get done with dinner and it's probably about 9:30, 10:00. And I'm like, all right boys, we'll see you later. And I get in the car and I'm like, this still isn't good. And I'm at Trevor's on, was it 36th street in Indian school. And I said to myself, I'm like, just, you don't want to do this, but you're going to have to close your left eye and see how bad this is. And I'm blun blind 90, no vision in that eye. And I'm like this probably not like

[Larry]

seeing through a lava lamp gone.

[John Holmberg]

No, it was an eclipse.

[Larry]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

I could see light around the edges, but the black dot had now taken over my entire eye.

[Larry]

John Rockefeller, welcome.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, no, I, I actually almost.

[Larry]

He said he texted.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I was gonna bug Sean for a minute. Like, hey, not for nothing, but do you remember the last time you saw. So I get in the car like an idiot, close my right eye like a drunk. I'm like, I'm not going to downtown hospital. That's dirty. Going to Scottsdale.

[Larry]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So I made the longer trip, which you do when you're blind. That's smart. In an open air vehicle, dirt and whatever hit me in the eye at wind. Just tooling around listening to, you know, Royal Blood, which was ironic. Kim Petrus and didn't have the Petra signature. So I go, they go to the hospital, I grab a Kit Kat first thing because I'm like, I'm gonna be here for a minute. And the lobby's full of sick people. They make you wear the mask still. I don't get that. You walk in, I put a mask on like, all right, what year is this? Yeah, lady didn't we already have this fight. So I put it on and I sit there and I'm scrolling through the Internet and I realized that anybody with a covet argument about the shot messing people up need to use Britney Spears as the example. Because prior to 2020, she was normal. And now I don't know what's going on. Like, I watched her Instagram videos, tons of them. She's officially, like, way off the rails. She put a rose in her ass crack and does this dance and like, but the her hair, that's impressive. Oh, it was. But it's like, what happened to you? And it's getting more unhinged. And it started when moderna met her, like the second she took the jab. I'm pretty sure Jellin, she's the argument. Like, you can keep saying, yes, you can keep saying that young athletes are dying. No, no, no. Look no further than Britney Spears. Look at her Instagram in 2019. Because I did. And it was normal. She was still weird, but like, celebrity weird. The Renaissance Festival is back. Weekends now through March 29th. Be ready to have a great time. Amazing adventure awaits. Awaits the entire family. New shows, shopping, jousting, nights, non stop feasting. Leave your cares behind. Happiness reigns at the Renaissance Festival. It's fun and affordable. Visit now through March 29th. Discount tickets available at Bashers and Food City or online at arizona.renfestinfo.com presented by Delta Air Lines bashers, Food City, Pepsi, Budweiser and Guinness. Huzzah. It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness for lifechangerloan.com so as you know by now, if I'm telling you about a product, I am using it. And that's because I don't want to be accused of ste you the wrong direction. I've told you that most clients of Life Change alone pay off their mortgage in about five years. That means you're not paying 30 years of interest. So on top of paying off your mortgage in five years because all your money goes to the principal first, you're going to save hundreds of thousands of dollars on interest. It isn't tricky. Nothing about this should have you rolling your eyes. It's not magic, it's just math. Life changerloan.com 2020 during the pandemic scroll back, you can watch when it happens. Like it occurs in. In two clicks. You're like, oh, Brittany got the shot. The people who are against the vaccines need to have her as their poster child because it's clear it was Moderna or Johnson. Whatever she took sent her off the rails. And she is the example. Anyway, so I'm looking at Britney Spears videos scrolling up and down, and I'm like, I got a Kit Kat. So I eat the KitKat, and they finally call me. And now it's probably midnight, maybe a little after. Been in the lobby for a couple hours and had two Kit Kats, I'm not gonna lie. And then I went into the thing, and the doctor's like, all right, what's going on? I kind of told him. Like, he's got this weird vision.

[Larry]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

And he's looking in my eye, and he's like, I'm not an optometrist. We're gonna do an ultrasound on your eyeball. I'm like, okay. So they put this goo over my eye. I start rubbing the eye, and he's like, I think I see some stuff, but again, I want to get this to the proper people. I called a guy. He's. He's taking a look at everything I'm taking pictures of just in case I miss anything. Because I'm not. Like, I'm a doctor. I got to give him credit. ER doctors here. Oh, and the dude across from me said he had the Tourette's. He said the N word like, a hundred times. So much so that I got up out of the bed to peek out to see what he looked like. Like, is he allowed to do. He's not allowed to do it. And he didn't want to be there. He wanted to go to county, and then he was mad at county, and then he wanted to go to the hospital on Shea 92nd Street. And he's, like, asking for ambulance rides. And the nurse went over, and he just got up and started walking around. And the doctor that was with me had to leave and go put this dude back in his spot. And then he's on the phone with his girlfriend, and I just hear on one end. He goes, yeah, when this is all over, I'm gonna come home. And so hard, I'm like, oh, my God. Everyone can hear you. You. You're gonna take it. You're gonna. You're gonna take it. That's right. N word. And I'm like, what? Just called his girlfriend the N word.

[Brett Vesely]

Man, I would have taken you to the hospital.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. Sounds entertaining. Well, I tried to get. Your head would explode.

[Brady]

Brett would still be in the er.

[John Holmberg]

Brett would still, like, give me some more, poke my eye out. I tried to tape him because he was going on these rants and the second I would hit the red button, it was like he knew. And he'd just be quiet. And then I'd turn it off, and he'd start again. I'm like, oh, I'm off rhythm with him.

[Brady]

What are you doing?

[Brett Vesely]

Player?

[John Holmberg]

He didn't say player. He hit the hard R on the ER part of the word he was using. Anyway, swim in there. And he comes back and he's like, yeah, the. The. Then they took me in, like, for a brain scan. Like, my blood pressure would, by the way, perfect. And worry about you with this kind of thing. Blood pressure.

[Brady]

I'm good, bro.

[John Holmberg]

He'll blow your eye up. Okay, but medicated is not good. I know you're good. You're not good. You're not good. It's not good. It's like people with high blood pressure issues and things like that. Your eyes, guys, it's bad. Like, if you got something that goes wrong, that's. It's not good. So my blood pressure was like 114 over 72. Actually high fived me. They're so pro. They never see that. So he's like, it's not that you're not having a stroke. You're not that. Maybe a tumor, but we're gonna look and. All right, Whatever you need to do. Nothing's bad here. So they. And I'm remarkably calm. Whatever. And then he says the thing that freaks me out. He goes, you need surgery right now. According to Thompson, you're gonna go blind tonight. I'm like, what? He goes, you. You could very possibly have that retina detach and you'll never see right again. He goes, you have two tears, big ones. And I'm like, really? And he said, yeah. He said, that's everything in your eyes just filled with blood. He goes, and. And we caught it just in time. I'm like, oh, what do we do? He said, we got to get you in surgery. When's the last time you ate? And I had a couple kit Kats about 35 minutes ago. And he goes, ah, I can't put you under for a little bit. I'll talk to the anesthesiologist. So they're. And that's when I text you guys. It's probably two in the morning, right? And I'm like, I don't know what's going on, but I don't know. I'm not coming in tomorrow. I know that. And they're wheeling me around this place, like. So I go through the whole deal, no big deal. And then they say, all right. The doctor says, you're going to be all right. You got to get to an optometrist first thing in the morning. And they send me on my way driving. So I drive over to the optometrist. It's like nine in the morning now. And I drive over to the optometrist. He looks and he goes, oh, yeah, yeah, no, now that was the text

[Larry]

you sent us before the show was even over here, the best of you. Like, surgery at noon.

[John Holmberg]

Surgery. Now, like, we're going in. And he's like, we got to get you to the surgery center. And he gives me directions and see ya. And now my eyes are dilated, blind in my right eye. Okay? So I drive up and I was fine. And then I get there and they're like, we can't do surgery till like 4 o' clock just to be super safe on the food. And the aspiration scares anesthesiologists. I'm like, okay, so here's the part, the fun part. I go home and my cat, Elgato, is like, done. Oh, no, he's not gonna. He's not. He's 17. He's. And he's like, not eating and he just looks terrible. So the decision.

[Larry]

John can't see me if the decision

[John Holmberg]

is made at noon on President's Day, before my scheduled eye surgery, that I have to put my cat down now because it's not gonna go well. So again, I. I'm gonna get a punch card at two in a week at Frankie, go the week before, and then Elgato on Monday. And I'm crying my eyes out, and I'm not supposed to have any sort of action going on here with my eyes. And I'm sobbing. Dr. Fixler shows up. He's amazing. Happy endings. Come on.

[Brett Vesely]

Does he just walk in now?

[John Holmberg]

Doesn't he? I gave him a key. I'm like, I don't like. And again, I don't like introducing my other dog. Like, you'll meet him eventually. But he was just so. Again, it was just so incredibly nice. And I haven't really even processed that whole thing. So kill my cat at 12:30, 1 o'. Clock, mourn that for a couple hours, hop back in the car, put me under, right? Go to the surgery center, get knocked out. And then they do the surgery on my eye. Eye. And they put a gas bubble in my eye. This gas bubble. And for people who've been. I've gotten a lot of emails from people who've been through this.

[Brady]

It's amazing.

[John Holmberg]

It is wild that they figured this out. So they drain all the blood out of your eye when you're under, and then they put a gas bubble in there. I still have the gas bubble right now. And it's starting to slowly shrink, but it's like, it's a spirit level, like the level that you use to see if your shelves are balanced. That little bubble in the middle is floating around in my eye. And wherever my eye goes, it goes. It's. But it wobbles like water. So my right eye has no vision aside from this giant water ball that jiggles and moves when I move. And when my heart beats, it goes. It like, it. It jiggles and moves. So at the end of the surgery, they wake you up and you get your post surgical advice, your. Your treatment. Now, I've had four major body surge, five major body surgeries. You've had your kidney. My friends that have had heart issues and things like that, the doctors always tell you, rest, but let's get going. Right? Like, let's not be sedentary.

[Brett Vesely]

Let's go.

[John Holmberg]

My shoulders, my hips, and all the things that I've had surgeries on my back. The first thing they say is give it a couple of days, but let's get you up with hips. You're up the day and the. They wake you and make you stand up. Like, we're moving them.

[Brett Vesely]

This.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that this is going. And you have muscles and you can go to physical therapy and you can push it. You know, like I did with my shoulders. I. I went above and beyond immediately. Once I could kind of do it, I'm like, I'm moving this arm. There's exercises the first few days, you know, with your eyes. Don't move. There is no pt. There is no, like, this will help it. Don't move. And you're reading the paper they give you, and it says 5 to 14 days face down, 24 hours a day. Don't move.

[Brady]

That can't be right.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm like, what do you mean? That's why I said, what do you mean? Like, I sleep and then, yeah, oh, just keep your head down. Don't move. Like, why was. The gas bubble puts pressure on the retina and moves. It'll fall, it'll break, it won't heal. And then we gotta do this again. And I'm like, oh, we're not doing this again. He's like, no, don't move. Have you tried to sleep on your stomach as an adult? I was just gonna say, yeah, I

[Brett Vesely]

was gonna Ask the same thing.

[John Holmberg]

Have you tried it? Lay down for all you stomach sleepers. This is great. This would be a cakewalk. I'm not. You can't lay on your side. You can't lay on your back. I still can't lay on my back. You can't do it. And, like, everybody's like, go get a massage table. Lay on a massage table with your face in that. That frame. And. And then your. Then your face just says, what are you doing? And your sinuses fight back and your eyes actually hurt.

[Larry]

You have one of those little, I don't know, round pillows for your waist to, like, kind of prop you up.

[John Holmberg]

Because with your back, trust me, your back is the first thing that hurts. Then your legs, then you're on a liberator. Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, yeah. If I could have done a sex bed, that would have helped. I slept with my ass in the air. Every guy, Ian Schwartz, my gay neighbors, any gay at Ian Campfield. All the Ians I know are homosexual. I text them and I said something like, you guys would love me right now. You know, one eye texting, face down. And I'm like, I'm face down for the next five days. If you're ever gonna peg me, now's the time. All of them sent back detailed information on how that goes. And everyone else, I don't know, they didn't care about me personally anymore. They're like, oh, you just have to take deep breaths, relax. No, no, I'm not really gonna get pegged. And then Michael called me a power bottom, so that's a power bottom. I'm like, what? He goes, a guy that just lays and takes it, and then he's got you. You're not interested in turning over. I'm like, well, look, this wasn't an invitation. I was kidding. But all the gay guys were like, oh, you're power bottom now? I'm like, no, no, I'm not. I'm face down. So evidently, that's a thing that they. Hey, if you ever. If you have a gay friend, don't have him over when you have eye surgery, because it's. It's a beacon of hope for them when they see you incapacitated. So day one is incredibly difficult because your body hates laying flat on and you have to prop your head up off the ground. So now I'm on a ramp. So from my shoulders to the top of my head, I'm on an angle up, because you can't just put your face in a cushion cushion. So I had to Buy one of those pillows with a hole in it. And I'm just staring at the couch cushion. I tried laying with my head off the edge of the bed and just had prop up with my arms. That lasts about 40 minutes. Then I got a mirror and a TV on the ground. I tried to. I did end up doing that pretty good. And then kind of angled my head. And then. But then you just really resign yourself to saying, this is just what I do now. For however many depression sets in in about 10 hours, you can't.

[Brady]

Six days.

[John Holmberg]

Six full days of flat on my face. Now I'd get up. You're allowed to get up for a little. We gotta pee and eat, and I get up and do some stuff.

[Larry]

But you said you.

[John Holmberg]

You just keep your head pointed at the ground. Yeah, because you just do. Like, it's too scary now, Quasimodo. Yeah. And then your back hurts. And so I'm gonna back surgery because of this. Eventually it's gonna be like, oh, remember when you have that eye? Things like, hey, you screwed your back up terribly. So then. And then you just lay there for days. And I started thinking about prisoners who get put in isolation. And like, you, because I hold up alone, I couldn't be around the dogs. I couldn't be around, like, people. I couldn't have TV on. I couldn't have visitors.

[Larry]

Angry?

[John Holmberg]

No, because it's distracting. Oh, and that you'll get up. I needed dead calm. And so I went to the rental house and just laid on the couch for six days. You don't need people. You don't need anything. Like, nobody needs to care for you or move you or change your sheets or what. You can get up and do stuff, but it's like intervals of little bits. It is the worst thing I have dealt with in my life as far as any sort of recovery from anything. I would much rather have an organ removed, bones fixed, anything, than what this was. So, again, if you're seeing floaters, if you're doing anything, Jay Schwartz gives a complimentary consultation. I'll turn this into a commercial because it's worth it. I'm telling you, it's not life altering or ending, but don't put yourself through that. If you can go, go get your eyes checked to avoid ever having to lay flat on your face for days on end.

[Brett Vesely]

It's you.

[John Holmberg]

Like, you just like, I'm just gonna. If day three, you're like, that's enough. I'm gonna end it. I don't want to be here anymore. This is. I got Three more days of this minimum, and that's if it's going well. And there's a chance that I go to my next appointment and they tell me, no, we gotta get you back down on your face.

[Brady]

Redo.

[John Holmberg]

We gotta start over. I'm not doing that. It's brutal. It's. And to this, I still have my eye all patched up just in case, like, there's dirt in the air or whatever. I haven't been doing that, but I did it because I drove here. I know. Brady's like, does the doctor tell you you can't drive? Didn't ask.

[Brett Vesely]

It was safer than Megan driving you.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, both eyes covered. I would rather. Yeah, I'd rather walk with a cane and find my way here than riding a car with her.

[Brett Vesely]

Donovan said you're actually underselling it because he had this problem, too, because it's worse than he's describing it.

[John Holmberg]

Recovery. There's nothing you can say to somebody that makes them understand other than, hey, if you got an hour to kill today, lay flat on your stomach and don't move. It's not like you can adjust. Don't move. Put your face in a hole and stay there for six days. It's. It. It's so weird how it. With your brain. Your brain doesn't work right. You start getting, like, dark thoughts. It's so weird when you're left alone and you're. And there's nothing you can do. If you break your hand, you get a cast and you move on. If you have, like, shoulder surgery, they're like, give it a couple of days and then start moving your arm around a little bit in these first few motions and get up and walk around and do stuff. This is the opposite of that. It's like, do not move. And, like, how do you do that? How do you ask somebody like me, right, to just stop moving?

[Larry]

So a lot of people are wondering, like, okay, I get it. You've scared me enough. But what caused it? Do I have to prevent. What do I do to make sure this doesn't happen?

[John Holmberg]

Luck of the draw, according to the doctor. I'm like, what did I do? And they're like, well, you just lock it.

[Larry]

Is it age? Is it anything? Is it? Is it?

[John Holmberg]

Yep and yep.

[Larry]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

All of it. Like, you might have gotten hit with a baseball when you were 7.

[Larry]

Get hit with side of a baseball bat, Matt.

[John Holmberg]

Well, so your dad was in your life.

[Larry]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Could have started a tear.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You don't know. Not even started a tear. Just weakened it Enough to be like, someday you super active people, like do a lot of the bending thing. High blood pressure, it's just, it's a crapshoot. You can have it happen at anything. Can. Can do it. Pressure on an airplane like that that your, your head disagrees with. You know, it's the strangest. Like when I even asked both the doctors, I'm like, what causes this? We don't know. And again, I did have that cat.

[Brady]

What was the percentage like for a box?

[John Holmberg]

Because I looked. Boxers have like a, like 24 of professional boxers, not guys who just. Just dick around. 24% who made a living at it have had a retinal tear or detachment. 24 what?

[Larry]

Oh, wow.

[John Holmberg]

24. That's high considering it's a thing. But you think about 75% took the exact same beating or worse and didn't. So it's just Sugar Ray Leonard had it in the Thomas Hearns fight and then went back and fought again. And they're like, you'll go blind. Rocky had it.

[Larry]

I'm being serious when I asked this. I know it seems like a joke, but what about your tug sessions? Is too much tugging, pulling on that?

[John Holmberg]

First off, let's never blame tugging for why we got here. I also realized that in that seven day stretch, you're not allowed to jerk it. You're not allowed to have.

[Larry]

Well, you can't get your heart rate up.

[John Holmberg]

You can't. Well, yeah, I know. You can't get your heart rate up at all. You can't like, because pressure in your eyes is everything. You can't bend your. You can't have your head lower than your hip. Like you can't do. I still am not supposed to bend over and pick stuff up. You're not supposed to pick up anything. They tell you this with surgeries, but this one, they're like dead serious. Don't pick anything up. You have any weight in your hand and just do any sort of strain. It's too much pressure. That gas bubble is like I can't travel on a plane. I can't go to. I can't even go to like Sedona for a month because the elevation change. So you just don't want to mess around with it.

[Brett Vesely]

That.

[John Holmberg]

So here's a fun fact. Day four, I start doing like calculations in my head. There's been like 15,463 days since. Yes. I remember March of 1983, when I first self tucked since that day of discovery, one of the most glorious days of my life. In the bathtub on George Circle in Tempe, Arizona. When I'm like, hey, I can, can do this and make white worms every, every day. And I. I'm not gonna die. See Monkeys. I would take four or five baths a day. This seven day stretch, Brady, you're gonna like. This is the longest stretch I've had without ejaculating. Kill me now in 43 years. It was kill me now 43 years.

[Brady]

That's an impressive streak.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's a daily activity.

[Brett Vesely]

At least one.

[John Holmberg]

So then I did the math of 15,460 some days and I got to figure I've hit at least that. Plus cuz there's been days when it's like 6, 5, 6. Especially when I was a teenage boy that was going on five, six times a day, I'd find time to do it. You know, I was a master of it. And then, you know, there's been days off days on couple a day. None for a couple days. But seven days has never happened. And 43 years, my streak broke, bro. At 43 years, that was the longest.

[Brady]

Which caused more crying.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I didn't cry.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

I didn't cry. But you know, you had to change some. The odometer had to go back to zero. All right. I don't know if I'm gonna have another 43 years of this, but highway miles. Well then, then your brain starts doing that, you know, you're not getting another 43 years. That's the streak.

[Larry]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's over.

[Larry]

You're done.

[John Holmberg]

That's the record. Record. You're. That's your, that's your Wayne Gretzky. That's. Nobody's catching that tip of the cap, son.

[Larry]

I'm like, damn. A few other textures are asking, how's your blood sugar? Because this is pretty common in diabetics.

[John Holmberg]

Really good. Yeah. Every. All my numbers are great, all my organs are perfect. Everything's good. It's just whatever.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Just, you know. And, and I will say that the cataract surgery that I had to have years ago was either trauma based from some sort of thing that had happened or sun. And it does make you more likely to have a retinal issue. Brutal, don't I? Again, I'm not one that goes to the doctor for anything. Don't fix your eye, Fix your eye. I don't care. Don't put yourself in a position to be face down for more than an hour. If it's. It's. It is the worst thing I've ever dealt with. And it Sounds simple. You're being. You're literally being asked to do nothing, which sounds great on the surface until they put you in a position. Where's Brady's God? Your God sucks so bad. Where's Brady's God? That a doctor. The only time you ever hear rest comfortably. And they mean it is hospice. Whenever you have to recover from something, they're like, we're gonna put you in the worst position ever. And you can't move for days. Why can't they say grab some cocoa and find the best position ever and just wait it out.

[Brady]

They give you like 5 days supply of morphine.

[John Holmberg]

Nope, can't do it. Can't do that.

[Brett Vesely]

That was my first question. What kind of drugs they got you?

[John Holmberg]

No drugs. There's no pain. There's no pain. There's no reason for it.

[Larry]

For it.

[Brett Vesely]

The pain is not being able to tug for the sad days.

[Larry]

That is pretty rough now also, I. I texted you this last week because a bunch of listeners were asking and they're all on text right now too.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Larry]

How does the fear pooper poop when he's laying on his. When he's laying on his face?

[John Holmberg]

Well, you can still get up and poop. You're hunched when you poop. You look like the last days of John Paul ii. You're just. Remember when he would show up and he's always looking for change. He's just staring at the ground all. He's just an inverted. See? Like he just stares at the ground. That's what you do. So you just kind of plop down and just hang your head down to the ground and you drop deuces.

[Brett Vesely]

A lot of people are saying this happens to nearsighted people.

[Brady]

Is that.

[Brett Vesely]

Are you nearsighted or anything? Like prior to.

[John Holmberg]

Or no. Nothing. No. I don't know. Maybe.

[Larry]

Which one's that? Is that you can't see near or you can't.

[Brett Vesely]

You can't see far?

[John Holmberg]

Right? I'm near sighted. You see close.

[Larry]

See close?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Morning sickness. 88. Can you please. It's John Holmberg here. Time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and doughotkins.com. i got an email from someone who told me that he wants to sell his house because he has to move for work. Got a new job, and it starts in February. So he needs to vacate quickly. And in this particular case, this guy can leave Arizona with cash from his home and be free and clear to start anew in his next location. That is peace of mind. No matter what the situation. Doug makes selling your house so easy, it's hard to imagine going anywhere else. And he backs it up with a $5,000 guarantee. Start. Start the process at Doug Hopkins.com or grab that phone and sing.

[Larry]

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[John Holmberg]

Morning sickness. Nothing spectacular in that either. It's just again, they're like, it happens to people. They're trying to. I even asked the dog. I'm like, are you guys figuring this out? And he goes, we're trying. He said, but it happens to anybody body. And he's like, you can say nearsighted, you can say sugar issues. You can say that. It just sometimes like, oh, this guy has none of that. And he got it. So it's just weird. It's so uncomfortable.

[Larry]

Welcome to the party. I had a tear in Afghanistan and was medevac to a hospital in Bagram. I'm 64240. All the nurses would talk about while carrying me on the stretcher was how I needed to eat more salads. I'm glad you're better, Jew boy. P.S. i still have floaters to this day.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then there's another thing, Victrectomy, that you probably have to do later for if the floaters are bad. But I think that's. They double and clean those up. They doubled me down with that because that's the gas bubble. So that should fix that. We'll see. And the gas bubble right now is still in there, and it's shrinking. And then the gas bubble evidently breaks up and turns into a bunch of gas bubbles on its way out of your eye. So I'll be seeing like a spider starting tomorrow, I think, because it's shrunk down to about.

[Brett Vesely]

About.

[John Holmberg]

That's two thirds of my vision in my right eye is the bubble. And then above it is just a gray line.

[Larry]

And you said it was magnifying glasses.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, up close. I have a patch on up close. It's it's microscopic vision, really. It's so weird. Like, I can. I can see supervision. Like human skin. You wouldn't recognize it as human skin if you just closed your eyes and then put it right next to my eye. And I open my eye, be like, I don't know. What is that? Like old chicken. It's so gross. But, yeah, so I'm not saying it to, like, don't feel sorry for me. Just go get that look if you've. And again, Troy Hayden's like, because I'm seeing gnats and floaters. I'm like, it's worth just going to look at it. And not because of paranoia or anything else or trying to be Captain Save a Hoe. I'm trying to save anybody from having to lay flat on their stomach for seven days. If you catch it a little early, they can do something about is. It is nearly impossible to keep your sanity and lay flat. I was going. Not metaphorically, I was going crazy. Like, there were days where your brain just starts going off on its own. And my brain doesn't, like, end where, like, it likes to be independent and it talks to me in ways that are very weird. I invented something I wanted to. And here's where the crazy start. I'm like, I'm going to call Elon Musk when I get back. Better hear me out, though. Harvest bots. So I'm. I'm thinking about harvest bots and I'm like. Because I can't stand that they put you in terrible positions. So I'm like, wouldn't it be great if, Elon, if you went into this thing and invented things to be like, we'll take your eye out and we'll put it in a harvest bot, and it will lay down for seven days, put it back in, and then we'll pop it back in. So I started to research that they're real. They're not for eyes yet. The biggest problem is we don't have microscopic tools to reattach a full eyeball properly and take it apart. But we're working on it. Nanobots. But they have harvest spots built. They're going to start asking volunteers in the next five years for their DNA. Grow organs. Yeah. And then just have, like, in a closet, like an old cedar closet in your house, they'll be. That's got all your organs in it in case you need one. And that way you don't need donors and you got your backups and they've got them already. So we eventually will never have to do this, this is archaic. But again, and I looked at that too. Doctors figured this out in the 20s, the gas bubble thing. They figured out some dude went in and said, all I see is lava lamp goo. And I don't even know if they had lava lamps in the 20s. But that's how you go by 23 skidoo. Like, he'd say, everything's melting. I hate the blacks. Like I don't know what to do. Like that's what he would do. And then they would say, oh, you want to try something? Like, sure, fire a little hydrogen in your eye and see if we can prop that bad boy up. They couldn't look in your eye. They couldn't see through the materials. They just took a guess.

[Larry]

So they had to. So they had to take some liquid out, right?

[John Holmberg]

They took all the blood out. No, they take all the blood out.

[Larry]

All the blood out.

[John Holmberg]

And then they bubble in there to prop up the ratio.

[Larry]

And I'm sure it's small, but still.

[John Holmberg]

But think of the dude in the 20s. And then I read up about that and it just blinded people non stop. Until like the 60s, the occasional successes. They didn't ever quit trying. Shoving this stuff in people's eyes going, let's try a water bubbles. No, that blinded them. How about like oxygen? No, that blinded them. And people are like, I tried. But the weirdness of the sight was like, well, whatever you try. My eyes are already broken.

[Larry]

John, did they give you a green wristband? I've had this in each eye. They stuck a green wristband on me both times as temporary medical alert braces bracelets has information about the gas bubble in case you ended up in an emergency situation.

[John Holmberg]

No, we're not supposed to move for seven days. What kind of emergency? Yeah, what are you around for? Lay down. So I did it. You do it.

[Brett Vesely]

Is it like a bubble and a level then?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, kind of like just exactly that. Exactly like that. Except for I can move it. When I shake my head. It. It's like a glass of water. Oh man.

[Brady]

Now it's like a coffee percolator. That little glass thing. No, holds up when the heartbeat.

[John Holmberg]

You're saying it when your heart beats. It's like when the water in Jurassic park moved. Dinosaur.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It just goes a little vibration and then it just kind of jiggles. I call. Get used to that. I'm used to that.

[Larry]

I call BS on your 43 years. You had your vascectomy and you couldn't crank after that.

[John Holmberg]

I did it in six days. I know. I Broke that. That was my previous. Oh, but seven days again. It was the longest streak. And I don't think I'm ever. For any reason, but now it's over. Like, gonna go more than seven days. And by the way, I shouldn't have been doing that when I. When I finally ripped one off in the shower hour on day seven. Not supposed to be doing that. And you feel it. Like, you try. And the worst part is when you're jerking off, going, calm down. Trying to ease your heart rate. Calm down. Just finish. Everything's good here. Yeah, I'm breathing my heart rate down while I'm tugging it. And it worked.

[Larry]

So this is what happened with that concrete dust from you.

[John Holmberg]

I was. I wondered on that too. It was the different eye, though, because that went in my left eye. It was all bananas and it's all just like a crap shoot. It's not like, oh, you did this, you did that, or you're older. It can happen to anybody. And if you're starting to see floaters, take them seriously. Not because it's, you know, gotta get to the doctor. Every time you see something, don't put yourself in the spot to have to lay down face first for seven days. It isn't. I feel bad for women even being in that position sexually, for. It's gotta be horrible what we've done to them. Lay down and we push their heads down and stuff. That's gotta be terrible. Horrible. Here's never again.

[Larry]

Here's a fun fact for you, John,

[John Holmberg]

and I don't want to put any

[Larry]

more fear into you, but the only fluid your body can't replicate is what's in your eye. Yeah, I know this because my framing partner put a nail in his.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's weird. It is so weird. Listen to this one. This guy says, I'm glad to hear that you're back and doing better. When I heard about your detached retina, it brought back memories of dealing with my dad, who suffered from inflammatory autoimmune disease, affected his eyes due to exposure to chemicals. As a firefighter, he had to have the prednisone. Or that it's not. I don't think it's pred. The same as normal, but it's a prednisone in his eyes every six months to keep his swelling down. When the shots were no longer effective, he had to get his retinas reattached two or three times a year.

[Brady]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

It got so bad that the last time he had the procedure, he had to have his head down for 14 days each time. The last time they did the procedure, his house was condemned. He was blind. He never made it out of assisted living. Doctors couldn't operate any further because of all the damage and his degrading mental state of living. Face down, two to three times a year he went straight into frontal temporal dementia. I get it. I think I did too. Could no longer hear or see. He passed away at the age of 61. I live in the fear of this. The same fate for me every day. The only solace is I find that his doctors say and a detachment can be avoided by keeping your stress levels down. That's another thing is stress. High stress. People go through this as well. And thank God we live in a stress free society. Please don't leave again, Larry. Fills your spot. Sent me into depression as well. That's rude. Welcome back, Jburg. Not at. No thank you, Phil. Two or three times a year, I wouldn't. I'm not kidding when I say it, I wouldn't. I. Third time I'd kill myself. Man, that ain't living. You can't do anything.

[Brett Vesely]

Had the right idea.

[John Holmberg]

No, exactly. Kurt Cobain wasn't wrong when it came to this isn't a life I want to live. If you had. If I got told to do this again because I got another appointment Wednesday. I know you gotta plop your face down again, there'd be some serious consideration that I'm not doing it. I'll get through that. But it is awful, so. But thanks to everybody who checked in and said nice things to me. It's very kind. Especially when you kill your cat along the way. One week after killing one of your dogs. Dogs. And then, you know, you're just like, well, this is.

[Brady]

Just deal with that for a while.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. And then, and then, then the depression really gets going because you start. Your mind starts wandering. You're like, oh yeah, my cat. And you start thinking about your cat, you start doing all that stuff. It is crazy. It's crazy. Yeah. But face down, ass up is only meant to be for pleasure. And for like 10, 10 minutes at a time max, maximum. Go ahead and give it a run. It is just brutal. So Jay Schwartz, TMIDOC.com go. I mean, we're gonna blow him up with complimentary consultations and hopefully a couple of you'll be like, oh cool, we caught it. Because if you catch it a little before the real tear, it's. It's probably pretty easy. You get this gas bubble in your eye and holy crude Christ, it is awful. And then you go through those moments where you're thinking, oh, Brady, Dale, Paul, sir, gonna be at my funeral. And that is something I can't. I would get out of the box, kill myself in front of you again. Like, I look around, I see Brady and Dale and Paul laughing at my funeral. I'm like, no, this is not supposed to go. I would come back to life for sure. And I. I also would have to say that the gofundme would be more than what. What Eric Dane got. That's for sure. I. I promise you. What a pathetic show. And I would let Jordan finger my butt like he did that little boy. And everything can happen, but anything to avoid it. So that's the story, and that's where we'll leave it. But it is. Just go get looked at. If you've got the floaters. Those gnats aren't gnats all the time. Time. And floaters are weird when they're weird because it's. Your brain doesn't get it. Like, you start looking around. You know, everybody's had floaters. Oh, look at that. Floaters. And then a few of them start becoming life forms. And right before your. Your very broken eyes, you're like, ah, that was weird. That one had a tail. That gnat has a tail. And you're too stupid to get it. Like, you know that time in Vegas when goes. That hooker was talking to me, and I'm like, oh, she kept calling me poppy. And I remember asking her and her friends, so, what do you girls do? And the other one goes, whatever it takes. And I'm like, oh, I've been talking to hookers for an hour. I figured it out all by my. I turned to my friend, like, they're hookers. He's like, yeah, duh. He's already had sex with two of them. Like, why? Anyway, so that's my story, and it was no fun. So get on it. Fix your stuff. Do stuff to get that done. And I'd rather have cancer than this. I think. I don't say that lightly, because at least you can move around with cancer. I'd rather have something. Tell me. Hey, this is gonna be. This is gonna kill you. Like, can I move? Yeah. Do I have to lay flat on my face for days on end? Nope. All right, I'll take that over this horrible. Because at least they can treat up

[Brady]

just a couple hours after the cancer.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you bounced right out of your cancer. That seemed easy. Nice job, Brady. But even then, you got your kidney removed, and it's like, it's pretty serious stuff. But the doctors are like, don't. Don't go laying around.

[Brady]

You just stand.

[John Holmberg]

You start getting up and doing stuff and get that body moving again with your eyes. It's the exact opposite. Shut her down. Don't move. Like your blood's your enemy right now.

[Brady]

Like, really?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We got to keep that flowing real quick. Light. Keep you around 50, 55 beats per minute here. No kidding. It's like a real bad rap song.

[Brady]

It is amazing. It's the opposite. Because even when you're done the surgery, they want you up and moving and. What, you don't want to move?

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[Brady]

Like, it's just really hard.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Nothing about this hurts.

[Brady]

But then this is like, you're ready to go. Nope, you can't.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Nope. You can't do a thing. Oh, and you feel fine. That's the worst of it. It's like there's nothing about you that feels bad at all. Even the surgery didn't hurt. It looked awful. There was no pain that I. I don't know if you posted that picture of my eye. No, you can. It is disgusting. And there's zero pain. Like, there's nothing attached to it that hurts at all.

[Larry]

And so if. If you didn't see the blood when it first popped, what is the blood we're seeing in that picture? You see, that's after the surgery, but.

[John Holmberg]

So that's them. That's me having had my eye, you know, basically.

[Larry]

And the white just goes red.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah. I mean, you stick needles in people's eyes usually causes inflammation. That's kind of. And then they put the bubble in there. So that post surgery, you do have a nasty looking eye, but. Yeah, doesn't hurt. It's just brutal. So I did. I went crazy for a little bit. I thought about contacting Elon Musk about some ideas I had about. I don't know anything about robot, but this is a pretty good idea. And then I found out that they're already doing that. Crazy. So if you're. If the people who know know. And it's almost like being Vietnam vets, because I've talked to a couple people are like, I had the same thing happen to me, man. You're gonna be all right. You're gonna make it, Mijo. We all call each other Miho now. Yeah. It's the thing when. Miho, I understand you had the surgery. Mio. Okay. You're one of us, so. And I even called Tripp because he's had eye surgeries in the Past. I'm like, do you have any advice? I just got told I gotta lay down for seven straight days. He's like, no, my giffen had that. Nope. And then his calming words were, jeez, I gotta go. All right, that was nice. Thank you. Now we got Larry filming. That's what he was thinking. Great.

[Brett Vesely]

It wasn't your eye.

[John Holmberg]

Now the real Jew's gonna screw stuff up. He didn't care about my eye at all. Oh, I gotta hear Larry more. Can you come back already? Because you know Larry, although he made mangles.

[Larry]

Dexter says. Been waiting to bring this up, but this is what happens when you make fun of Brady's God.

[John Holmberg]

All right, fine. Yeah, well, your God sucks.

[Brett Vesely]

Your God's a jerk.

[John Holmberg]

Jerk. Yeah, I make fun of your stupid God. I'm not that bad a person, really. I just have a hard time believing that he cared about whether or not a boxer won a fight more than he does about, like, people like, babies dying of cancer. I. I just. I. Ben Roethlisberger always said, oh, is God's with me? And he pointed to the sky, and I'm like, really? There's, like, dying babies all over the world and he wants you to score touchdowns? So if he punished my eye because he's that petty, he's a bigger prick than I thought.

[Larry]

John, to piggyback on your checkup suggestions, most eye doctors have a machine called an Optomap.

[John Holmberg]

Cool.

[Larry]

It checks your retina connections. I just had mine done on Thursday, and it only cost me $49 for my insurance.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, hop on.

[Larry]

Worth it.

[John Holmberg]

Totally. Don't screw up, because when they tell you you're going to go blind if you screw around, that's. That messes with you fast. And then you just listen. And I'm not much. For listening, that is. I was on point. I was pretty proud of myself, too, because as stir crazy as I was

[Larry]

going, oh, it didn't sound positive. I stayed down, check in with you.

[John Holmberg]

Not a lot of fun. And then I'd get up every once in a. Like, I'm all right, and I'd walk around and then I'd be like, you're gonna go blind. It just kept. Kept. And the odds of it are really low. But it's a mind f. It's a mind f. It's a huge.

[Larry]

Would you have gotten divorced had you been forced to stay at home?

[John Holmberg]

I'd have killed her. I'd have gone full on left side OJ Because I can't see the other. She'd been cut in half right down the left side.

[Larry]

She just had to stay on your

[John Holmberg]

probably as much as, you know, the dogs would have probably been eaten. I would have gone Lord of the Flies. It's three days before you can. You can't help but go crazy. You go crazy. Anyway, so there it is. That's the story. Now get your eyes fixed immediately. I can't wait to hear all the I songs that people have suggested. But they're all there. Eye of the tiger.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah, that's.

[John Holmberg]

That's been in your eyes. Yeah, go ahead, Brad.

[Brett Vesely]

All right. Well, we do have a new Wake up sponsor. So the book's over.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they didn't hear, Larry. They might quit. Do I have to read it?

[Brett Vesely]

I don't have it. So we just found. I found out about it yesterday, so.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, well, let me just thumb through here. Wake Up Song is brought to you by our friends at Modern Resolution Windows and Doors. They were supposed to come to my house last week. Whoops. Mention John Holmberg and get an extra $500 off your contract price.

[Brady]

What?

[John Holmberg]

That's awesome. They're good dudes to have been chat with them a lot. Family run, locally owned financing, payment plans. They got everything available. And all you have to do is go check to modernresolution.com, grab the info. And thank you guys for being part of the Wake up song too. Modern Resolution windows and door. Simple and easy. I got to get a new door in my front door. It's busted.

[Brady]

Bryce, just had a question. What if you have to sneeze?

[John Holmberg]

That was scary. I had a few sneezes. The first time you sneeze, you're worried and then you realize you're gonna be all right. I did have to sneeze a few times. And coughing. So then I thought I had pneumonia. Friday day.

[Larry]

Do you let it go or did you stifle it?

[John Holmberg]

Oh no, you let it loose. Stifling. It would have blown my head off, I think.

[Larry]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

So then laying down that much, your lungs fill with fluid and you start crackling and breathing. I'm like, I got pneumonia now, cuz I'm not breathing properly. Oh, it's awful. Just awful. Depressing and miserable and awful. But now I'm back with you idiots. Who would ever thought that would have been a good thing?

[Brett Vesely]

All right, on the list, Queens Reich. I have a stranger under and over from Five Finger Dust Punch. And we were talking about the Mexico stuff earlier, so Ministries, New World Order, Murder, Judas Priest, Electric Eye. I have the Tornado, from Megadeth, Corn Blind, Billy Idol, Eyes Without a face Peter Gabriel, in your eyes, Ozzy. Close my eyes Forever Survivor Eye of the Tiger 2 live crew, face down, ass up. Metallica, Eye of the beholder Frank Stallone, Far from over for your welcome back song and Soundgarden Searching with my good eye closed.

[John Holmberg]

Hey.

[Brett Vesely]

No, I was on there. I deleted that one.

[John Holmberg]

Nice.

[Brett Vesely]

No. Kim Karns this morning.

[John Holmberg]

Daniel says, welcome to the eye surgery club. I've had eight surgeries in my left eye and six in my right. Daniel, end it. There's no reason to go on. I can't imagine what you're going through. You are a trooper, brother. I don't think I could ever get used to this. Like, if I had to do this again, I'd be like. No, it's. I'm not gonna be like, oh, I've done that before.

[Brady]

It's take the eye out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just remove them and start smelling stuff. I like face down, ass up. But I don't think I have the skills.

[Brett Vesely]

Clean version of that.

[Larry]

There's no way.

[Brady]

Why would you? Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

First off, we don't have a clean one. Second, you're relying on a dude who can barely see to read the lyrics as it's going. So you pick it, Brett. I like the, you know, searching with my good eye. Close.

[Brett Vesely]

We've never played that.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think that's a good one. Go. A little sound garden there.

[Larry]

I know that's not in the system. No, there's no way that's an album track.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's nuts. This one says John, next time you need some assistance with this. I'm a professional. I'll come right to the house. Sign. Nathan Sutherland. And that makes you worried too. You get the fight back. I don't let him do it just to kill some time. Then they're like, you want to rape me? Yeah. Right. That ought to eat up about eight or nine more minutes.

[Brady]

As long as you don't move me.

[John Holmberg]

Don't jar me too hard. This pillow is pretty good. But. Yeah. And then I started to play games with my. My magnifying glass eye as I stared through the pillow hole onto the couch cushion where I would count that you could. I could see where the threads overlapped on the couch cushion.

[Brady]

Try to count them.

[John Holmberg]

836 before.

[Brady]

Nice.

[Larry]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Before I had to quit the magnifying eye. Going nuts. It. It's. Man.

[Brett Vesely]

Imagine if you could tug. You'd be like Lex Steele down there.

[John Holmberg]

But I'd have to get close to it. Otherwise, it's just a blurry mess. You get close to I don' I want to see my dick skin that close. Dick Skin's a great band name by the way, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. It's John Holmer here from the morning sickness. Time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins.com another satisfied listener called TVs Doug Hopkins and sold her home for cash.

[Brady]

She reached out.

[John Holmberg]

Her name's Ash Ashley and Doug wants to make it simple. Buy your house for cash as is, you don't have to do anything. Just like Ashley. No strings attached. If he moves that price, you get $5,000. Want to sell that place? Start the process online@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing Hopkins 1, 800,

[Larry]

now college basketball fans FanDuel just handed you a tool that makes every college hoops parlay worth more. It's called the Boost Builder. You get a boost builder to use on any two plus leg college basketball parlay. Start building your parl and each leg you add increases your boost all the way up to 105%. Just open the FanDuel app, choose your college hoops market, apply your boost token and watch the percentage climb. Head to fanduel.com kupd to get started. 21/in President Arizona Opt in required minimum 2 leg parlay required bonus issued is now withdrawable. Boost builder tokens restrictions apply including any token expiration and max wager amounts. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 53342.

[John Holmberg]

You thought that was funny? Sickness. You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? It's time for Brady to give you all the rest of the things that are going on in this crazy mixed up world. Especially you folks trapped down in Mexico. Why go? Don't know. It's brought to you by allprochade.com It'll be like 95 degrees by the end of the week. This is insane. You're going to need some shade. All pro Shade's going to get you there. And if you know what everybody keeps saying is why don't we get any? Why you don't. What are we in for in summertime? I don't know. Maybe more hot. Get used to it. It's going to be a thing. But shade helps and they can drop the temperatures like 20 degrees in February. You're looking to drop the temp about 15, 20 degrees. That. That's early, but it would feel great to have that back patio right there. And as the sun sets and the temps cool, you're in heaven. So give them a call right now. All pro shade, go to allprochade.com and they will take care of you with the best in the business. They've been at it for over 20 years for a reason. They're good. All pro shade.com Brady reported.

[Brady]

Morning to you, Phoenix. Hello world. Happy National Trading Card Day and National Tortilla Chip Day.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady]

Sure. If you get some apps at places like Chipotle or whatever, you get some free chips today. Now a couple of basis fun facts. The world's largest iceberg, officially known as A23A, was larger than the state of Rhode island when it first broke off Antarctica in 1986. Now it's slightly larger than New York City.

[John Holmberg]

Wait, say it again.

[Brady]

Largest iceberg.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it busted from Rhode Island.

[Brady]

No, it was the size of the state of Rhode island and when it broke off from Antarctica in 1986. 6.

[John Holmberg]

Now it's about Manhattan size.

[Brady]

New York City. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. So is what's bigger? They're about the same.

[Brady]

I wouldn't know.

[John Holmberg]

I don't either. I know. Well, Manhattan and New York island, like

[Brady]

six is New York City. Is that all five?

[John Holmberg]

It wouldn't be. The New York City would be. Yeah, we'd count.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Long island and all that stuff. That's still the same size as Rhode Island. So it's the same name.

[Brady]

I think it would be.

[John Holmberg]

Did they say Manhattan? Manhattan's only like six.

[Brady]

They said slightly larger than New York City, but NASA reported that it's melting and it's melting quick.

[John Holmberg]

All right. That's what ice does.

[Brady]

Three times more people speak English as a second language than as a native one. English has more than a billion people learning it as an additional language and only 390 million people speak it natively

[John Holmberg]

because they need to deal with us. They need to deal with us. And I'm not going to deal in yippy yappy. I'm not going to go down there and do your clicks and clacks. You learn the language or you don't. You. You're getting tariffed now.

[Brett Vesely]

They're just wrong.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. That's right. We speak the language and you guys do funny baby talk and we're not doing that. I want deals. I want deals with people who take the time to learn to talk to the deal maker. Me.

[Brady]

The first time two men kissed in a movie.

[John Holmberg]

Yuck.

[Brady]

Was a silent film in 1927 called Wings.

[John Holmberg]

Is it the Howard Hughes movie?

[Brady]

And the first erotic kiss between two members of the same sex was two females in a Cecil Be the Mill movie.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady]

Manslaughter in 1922. Sweet.

[John Holmberg]

Good job. It's Cecil, by the way. Don't call me Cecil. Sorry, Rube.

[Brady]

Have you ever heard the term jeffing?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Brady]

It in jogging. It's when you run for a while, then you walk for a while.

[John Holmberg]

It's called lazy.

[Brady]

Former Olympian Jeff Galloway uses it with runners to help build stamina phenomena. Evidently, the Washington Post just did a story on the running hat called jeffing around since 1973.

[John Holmberg]

It's been around since the first time anybody ran. Because eventually you stop running.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

As far as Gump.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm done running. And then he walked. That's not jeffing. That was being done running and being normal again.

[Brady]

I guess you're done running if you just. All you're doing is walking, but eventually you start to run again.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's all jeffing. So what's the time difference? Like, what if I don't run till tomorrow? All right. Then we're all jeffing. Because if I run right now, I'm gonna stop, I'm gonna walk back to something else, and then if I run up the stairs, I'm like, oh, I just jeffed my way around. I've been jeffing my whole life.

[Larry]

Yeah. So if you don't restart running ever

[John Holmberg]

again, you're done jeffing. You're done running. You're right. You're constantly jeffing because you're between runs.

[Brady]

I think once you start the run, you're jogging and then you go walking, then you're jeffing. Then the run is over.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Then you're just walking. There's two. There's two very distinct things.

[Brady]

You're jeffing session.

[John Holmberg]

No, you're not jeffing. You're either running or you're not running

[Brady]

because you have to start back up running.

[John Holmberg]

You're always going to do that, though. You run, you stop running, you run again. You're running, you're walking, you're running.

[Larry]

60 plus years you've been doing that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If I started to crawl in the middle of it, now we're jeffing. Like, that's the thing. It's like you run, then you crawl a mile, then you run for again. That's an actual thing. But I'm always going to walk. No offense, Caleb, but I'm always going to walk.

[Brady]

Another poll asked people if they've ever cried at work. 39% said they've broken down in tears while on the job.

[John Holmberg]

They haven't asked a rock radio station that because it's. 90% of these tough guys.

[Brady]

14% of us have cried multiple times.

[John Holmberg]

Any dude in a kill switch engaged shirt at work has cried at work. It's happened. I'm telling you. That's a fact.

[Brady]

Lady in LA is upset because a cocoa food delivery robot went rogue. Messed up her garden. It happened this past weekend. Says she could hear the commotion happening inside or from inside her house. She looked outside and one of the wheels of the coco delivery robot got caught up in her fence and then just started going through a garden around

[John Holmberg]

tearing it up like a stomper.

[Larry]

That's those little robots like you see around asu.

[John Holmberg]

I'd like that, though.

[Brady]

I saw the. They got that door dash one running through Gilbert right now.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. I just filmed that though, as it tore up my garden. Like, yeah, they're going to pay me for this. But this is.

[Brady]

He chased after after it. She said it must look like a crazy person chasing after this thing.

[John Holmberg]

You give me back my garden.

[Brady]

She tried to block it. Didn't work.

[John Holmberg]

It got around her. Yeah, timeout, son. She couldn't.

[Brady]

It wouldn't stop.

[John Holmberg]

How fat is she?

[Brady]

Well, the fact is, like, I don't know if she was strong enough to stop it from moving.

[John Holmberg]

You couldn't.

[Brett Vesely]

She wouldn't have a garden if that's the case.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Brady]

Either way, she gave up. But the company garden contacted her and said, we'll reimburse you for your garden.

[John Holmberg]

We'll buy you some new Reese's Cups you keep in a box. There's no possible way. You couldn't walk over to that thing in Tempe and stop it.

[Brady]

I don't know how big the cocoa delivery is.

[John Holmberg]

Is it a truck? Yeah. But again, if it's going up to your.

[Larry]

It's a box with wheels.

[John Holmberg]

If it's going up to your front door, it's not that big. Yeah. It's not like. It's not like a Hyundai got a Mazda full of food.

[Brady]

I think he just knock it over.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Kick it. She's too fat. And then she said she couldn't stop it. It got around her. What a blob. This lady doesn't need to be ordering food.

[Brady]

She needs a couple of jukes. She needs to.

[John Holmberg]

You know what she needs to do? She needs to jeff her way over to the Weight Watchers, start jeffing and start eating their food. She needs to atkins up a little bit.

[Brett Vesely]

She can't do anything but Jeff.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's it. Yeah. She takes two steps. I'm just jeffing like that wasn't a run, that was like a. You lost your balance or something. That's.

[Brady]

I've got a 21 year old woman in South Korea that is charged with double murder. She's been accused of using chat GPT to plan the murders.

[Brett Vesely]

It was murder.

[Brady]

They found on her phone a history of searching, of mixing drugs with alcohol. How much do you need?

[Larry]

You mean moisture?

[Brady]

And so one guy got whack, took her back to the hotel room and mixed his cocktail up.

[John Holmberg]

Man, she did it, did it twice.

[Brady]

Now they're thinking there might be more.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. By the way, Scott Haynes said that he invented something called braiding which is you do push ups then you stop and then you do another push up. Like years later you're, you're brading, you're in between, you're braiding, you're in between your, your 12th and 13th push up and you're just going to take a couple years off.

[Larry]

What number you on now, Brady? There can't be.

[John Holmberg]

There's just such a stupid thing. You're always in between the activities and if your two options are walking or running.

[Brady]

So if you went out and said I'm going to run five miles and

[John Holmberg]

I'm going to walk two miles, you,

[Brady]

you ran a mile and you stopped and walked a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

That's just bad running.

[Brady]

You're running again. You said five miles is the goal, you know, and you Jeffed it.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't Jeff it. You just walked. You're being lazy and you're giving a name to laziness. You didn't finish the run. You quit in the middle because it got too hard and you started to walk because that's easier. And then you started to run a little.

[Brady]

Jeff's advice was don't.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no.

[Brady]

Just stop.

[John Holmberg]

Jeff's advice was you're too fat to finish five. We're going to give it a name so you don't feel terrible about yourself when you quit.

[Larry]

And your point was if it was five miles and he ran three of them. He ran three miles.

[John Holmberg]

He ran three miles and he walked two. It's a good healthy day. Day. But you're not, it's not some accomplishment that you invented this. Well, I Jeffed it. No, that, that, that maybe he'd rather fart.

[Brady]

Lick it.

[John Holmberg]

Then what's that?

[Brady]

That's where you run. And then you, you sprint back to jogging.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

And sprint.

[John Holmberg]

That's actually exerting. More lick.

[Brady]

Fart licking? Yep.

[Larry]

I don't think that's right.

[Brett Vesely]

No, I can't.

[Brady]

I think it is.

[John Holmberg]

Nah, there's one over here. It started confident and then it started stopped. Right. Are you pulling those off for me?

[Brett Vesely]

Because I can't.

[John Holmberg]

It's this new term, johnning. It's when you beat off religiously for 43 years, then lay face down for seven days and start over. That's it. We're Johnny. Exactly. It's exactly right. It's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. It's giving a name to failure and then making you feel like it isn't. It's what moms do to kids to tell them you're fine. Here's a ribbon. I'm going to go out and run five miles, but three of them walk. Walking. Well, you're not. Well, then it's called jeffing. No, it's called quitting. All right?

[Larry]

It's called fart leaking and it's from your people, the Swedes.

[John Holmberg]

Fart licking.

[Brady]

Fart licking.

[Larry]

Fart leak.

[John Holmberg]

Of course.

[Larry]

You know, speed play. Flexible informal style of interval training designed to improve speed and endurance by mixing high intensity bursts with lower intensity recovery periods, all with within a single continuous workout.

[John Holmberg]

Fart licking. Also, I got an email. Of course, pretty knows. That's a funny one. I'm not gonna do it, but I'm gonna.

[Brady]

Oh, I did it.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Brady]

Yeah, I did.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, with the Mongolian barbecue. First time.

[Brett Vesely]

It was years ago between YCS and Viet Shack.

[John Holmberg]

Wait a minute. 50 off at both. I'll be right back. I'm gonna fort lick all the way from Viet Shack over to the Mongolian barbecue and get a pound of that. I'm gonna fart lick back over there. I'm gonna Jeff my way out.

[Brady]

We went to Jeff.

[John Holmberg]

Ask Jeff inside the restaurant. It is.

[Brady]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

It's the participation ribbon. It's embarrassing to call it jeffing. Yeah, I was running and I quit. And then I started walking. I got a name for that. It's called jeffing. So I don't feel terrible about myself for not accomplishing anything. I got most of the job done, boss. Then I quit and I did a lot less. And then I started to work hard again. It's called johnning. We didn't finish. I did. I finished. Johnny

[Brady]

Vogue is calling 2026 the year the crack the butt crack. The fashion that the ladies are wearing. And men, well, they're low cut jeans and they show a little bit of

[John Holmberg]

a crack cleavage, which means whales tails are Going to come back should be called twinking, but that just basically means it's going to be Target. Possibly the announcement that most girls don't wear underwear anymore.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean tram stamps are going to come back.

[Brady]

Of the day. 32 year old guy from Kentucky. He's facing charges for allegedly having sex with roadkill cops in the small town of Central City, Kentucky. Got a 911 call around 7pm on Saturday. Caller said they were driving near town when they passed a man having intercourse with a dead deer on the side of the road.

[John Holmberg]

His kill or you found it? He hit it and effed it?

[Brady]

Not sure. Cops showed up, found 32 year old Allen Osborne walking in the same general area. According to the police report, his pants were still down around his knees. Knees. And he was covered in deer fur.

[Brett Vesely]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

What? He was rolling around with it too.

[Brady]

They also found fur around his private area. Well, yeah, that'll happen while he's being booked.

[John Holmberg]

While he was jeffing that deer. Nathan Sutherland, felony charge. Yeah.

[Brady]

32 year old Alan Osborne, the white

[John Holmberg]

bearded Vermont face from Kentucky. Yeah, he's, he's, he looks like he's got syrup in one pocket and crack in the other. Let's take a look. Oh my God. I'm dead on it. Oh yeah. Yep. I did. I was gonna say ball dynasty. Very duck dynasty. And you know what's crazy about that? They caught him with that deer. That wasn't the first time. You don't get caught banging roadkill your first time. Oh yeah, he got cavalier about it. Didn't even try to push it to the side of the street. Yeah.

[Brady]

Oh yeah, that's multiple times a week.

[John Holmberg]

Ye. He's out there looking for him in the middle of the night.

[Brady]

Roadkill there.

[John Holmberg]

He probably had the job, the unofficial job in his city. They'd call him and say hey, we got one on the side of the road there, Bob. All right, I'll go get it. And he two in the morning he'd take his pickup truck and go out there and the first time he put it in the back of the truck, he looked and saw that sweet deer honey hole. And thought to himself, man, tight for years.

[Brady]

He always says he was out tagging deer.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think that one's ever been before. And he put a finger in it. That's awesome. Then he put two fingers in it. Ooh. Drove it off, burned it up, probably ate it, sold the meat a couple hours later. Hey, we got another one out there on the, on the highway there, Bob. All right, another one, honeyhole. Right eye to eye. Probably stuck his wiener in that one in the back of the Ford. Then it just got to the point where he'd bang it so much, he didn't even pick it up anymore. It was hitting him on the side of the screen street covered in fur. Come on. You get a hair in your mouth during you get a hair in your mouth during oral sex, everything stops. This dude's been at this for a while.

[Brady]

Yeah, you're right.

[John Holmberg]

Gross.

[Brady]

I just have one radio video. This guy celebrating after his MMA fight.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brady]

Doing a flip off the fence.

[John Holmberg]

He's going to flip off the top of the fence back into the ring.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

What do we got there? All right, buttons. Where's the play button? In the middle. Jesus. All right, there you go. He does backwards. Those legs are going to break. Oh, he landed it and his ankles gave way. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's horrible. Oh, he did a back flip and broke. Was both ankles or just the one?

[Brady]

Just the one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. That is awful. All right, don't show me that twice. No, I only have one eye. Oh, it's over. Like your euphoria went to crap immediately. Oh, my God. All right, Bert, what do you got?

[Brett Vesely]

I'm still going.

[John Holmberg]

Have you guys been showing Larry any of these?

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, Larry's yesterday was mild, too.

[Brady]

It was mild and he's scarred.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he ran away.

[Brett Vesely]

Even Brady called him a puss.

[John Holmberg]

He's like, come on. What?

[Larry]

And that's where we are.

[John Holmberg]

Larry, you didn't like the video? Videos. I had such a hard time with it. I mean, it was.

[Brett Vesely]

And then.

[John Holmberg]

And then we got to the porn, and I was like, you guys get away with this, really? Get away with what? Describing it. The. The moaning and the.

[Brady]

The.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, this just sounds. It's silly sounds, Larry. I make them all the time.

[Brett Vesely]

Let me see if I can find the one from yesterday that I showed

[John Holmberg]

little noises like that. I don't know what that's coming from.

[Brett Vesely]

Here's yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

All right, here's the one that sent Larry. Really? Yeah. All right. The thing was, I was afraid that there was going to be some cussing. Yes. Oh. Oh, yeah. We're always afraid of that. I'm on that. All right. There's a big, gigantic toy in a woman's sound.

[Brett Vesely]

It is. It does have sound.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Oh, geez Louise. That is a big toy, Larry. This is great stuff. This is. Larry, you're a program director of a major radio station. This is good audio.

[Brady]

And.

[Brett Vesely]

And guess what I heard the second

[John Holmberg]

trip Locked in the door. What you're supposed to protect. Protect the license. Well, then don't talk about it. That was from earlier.

[Brett Vesely]

That wasn't from the videos. That was from your comedy show.

[Larry]

That was from your video.

[Brady]

That was you.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, was his. Was. He did something. Remember the marital advice had a little something to do with this. No, he hears this every day. Was there cursing? Yeah, there was a couple F bombs that dropped, but I covered him up.

[Brett Vesely]

Covered him up.

[John Holmberg]

That's what he's talking about. Fart noises. You don't even know what that is. That poor girl's got. That's nothing. That's just. What are you talking. That's good audio. And I was waiting for her to say a little something something. Yeah, but you. You hit the button. Just like I hit the button with the do this every day. Oh, that's nothing. This girl's just got a gastrointestinal issue. This is medical, Larry. This is. I mean like I don't think. Grow up.

[Brady]

Gross.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think that is gross. I do. You don't. I do. No, it's disgusting, but just a fun sound. She likes the bathes. Quit cursing on the air, Larry. We're professional showover.

[Brady]

What else you got?

[John Holmberg]

Brett, what the matter with you? I can't top that one. Larry almost got us all fired with his cursy curses. Play the fart sounds, man.

[Brett Vesely]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

You know better than there's to Larry. Thanks for helping out though. Larry was a gem. We're in a speeding car down the middle of the way. These lane splitting in a tiny one man vehicle. Oh my God. This is horrifying. He's got a helmet cam. He's blazing down the road in this tiny little car. The camera's on his head. He's got a helmet on. So he's got a helmet cam. And so it's from like the top of his head. It's a really weird angle. He's got driving gloves. Look at the speed by every car. Does he make it? Come on, Brett, look at me. Whoa. I mean he's. He's lane splitting in a bizarre.

[Brady]

I mean he's got to be number one.

[John Holmberg]

This is pole position. This is the game. Pole position. If he hits an oil slick, we're doomed. Look at right by a bicyclist. Oh, this is. This is harrowing. Another bicyclist. Was he coping? Hagen, Come on.

[Brady]

He's getting an extended play here for sure.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, for sure. Yeah. Eventually he's going to get a free let. There's A buddy doing it, too. He just got passed. This isn't real. Is this real?

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. I've never seen anything like it. That's pole position Life. Holy cow. Oh. Whoa.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And there it go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's real. That was inevitable.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Ine. Inevitably, that was going to occur.

[Brett Vesely]

We already seen that.

[John Holmberg]

By the way, that guy that got caught banging that deer, he was Bambi Brady. He was between. He was between a skunk and a deer. It was going to. He was definitely going to both of them. He's bambing out there.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, hungry.

[John Holmberg]

Here's a dude squatted down and got, like, a bike tire on his neck, and he's got a. A cow's tail that has just pooped. And he's reaching into the poop of the horse poop, and he's put it between two pieces of bread, and he's eating with a bike tire around his neck because he lives in the worst country in the world. I think that's India. It's somewhere around there.

[Brady]

Flavor. Flavor.

[John Holmberg]

Come on. That is. Yeah, that's. They don't have clocks. Bike tires. Yeah, boy. All right.

[Brett Vesely]

Here's some. There's some soccer for you.

[John Holmberg]

World Cup's coming. Well, there's a person mooning from behind the net on tv.

[Brett Vesely]

The.

[John Holmberg]

The penalty kick. And right behind the net is a woman's ass. Or is it a man?

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Don't know. But it's definitely a butthole right there on the live shot. I didn't have any of that during hockey because we're classier than those euros. And here's a. Oh, we're backing out of a car and our door's open, and the guy fell out of the car. Or this is a mob hit. Everybody's dressed in black. Oh, Then the guy came back and hit him again. There's nobody in that car.

[Larry]

Car, Right.

[John Holmberg]

How did it back up? It backed up, and then I don't

[Brett Vesely]

know if it hit something. Like maybe it was in neutral and hit something and then bounced back.

[John Holmberg]

Is that a Volkswagen? Because I think that's the new Herbie. It backed up with no one in it. He was in it, and then it came back in.

[Brett Vesely]

He fell out or something.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but how does it come back and hit him? Straight on.

[Brett Vesely]

It must have been a neutral, and then it bounced off another car and came back. That's what I'm guessing. I'm not sure.

[John Holmberg]

Man, that's some serious neutral. Then it drove him into a wall. I Think that car hates steam. Yikes.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, now, I don't know what this idiot's doing.

[John Holmberg]

And then this guy is trying to bust into what looks to be an elevator or something. Oh, no. It's a public toilet.

[Brett Vesely]

And that's one of those things you blow up a tire with.

[John Holmberg]

And he's got a gigantic thing to quick inflate a tire. It's a big air compressor. He's giggling like, this is going to be a good idea.

[Brady]

Take a bath.

[John Holmberg]

He's putting a. He's putting it over the top of a toilet. He's putting the thing inside of it. He's. He's doing nothing of the sort, but he's not helping society. This is a joke. And he's now going to pull the thing to get the air into the toilet. And it just exploded. There he is walking out a brown cloud. They're laughing. He's not a real plumber.

[Brett Vesely]

There's one I was trying to find.

[John Holmberg]

Good Lord.

[Brett Vesely]

Which would have had good sound effects, too, but I don't know if I can find it again.

[John Holmberg]

Down. Larry had to run from that.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, he was. He was freaking out yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

That's hilarious.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, here we go. Here, you want some sound effects?

[John Holmberg]

Okay, gotcha. There's a girl's face. I wanted to do a Spidey. She's dressed up in Spiderman waiting for the queef. So no, geez. That. You can't do that one. She's talking dirty like this. All right, she's in a spider man costume, and then she's going to walk by and then. Oh, gross. All right. The noise she's making in a spider man costume is gross. It's not a fart. It's gross. All right, so there we go. When women do it, it's gross.

[Brett Vesely]

So I knew I would.

[John Holmberg]

I knew these weren't going to compete

[Brett Vesely]

with what Larry saw yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

That's disgusting.

[Brett Vesely]

And even Brady was like, nah, it's nothing.

[John Holmberg]

This guy says, john, you've been off the show too long. I'm now in Brady mode. The deer guy. Not a taxidermist, but he sure can mount a deer. Sorry. Sorry, Brady. I knew you'd love that. Yeah, I'm out there mounting a deer. I'm gonna go jeffing. I'm gonna take about six steps running and then walk to the kitchen. Everybody's jeffing.

[Brady]

Everyone's doing it.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody's dancing. There you go, everybody. That is your Brady Report. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. Come on down to The Ranch House Grill comfort food is your next meal. Pork chili verde, chicken fried steak. Ranch House knows you'll think it's great. Are you ready for the best breakfast in Phoenix? Ranch House Grill has been voted best breakfast four years in a row. We're famous for our chicken fried steak, pork chili verde and large portions. Located in the heart of Arcadia. Join us for breakfast or lunch seven days a week, 6am to 2pm We're a family restaurant with a small town

[Larry]

atmosphere serving southwestern comfort food for 18 years.

[John Holmberg]

Come on down to the Ranch at Grill for the best breakfast in Phoenix at 56th street and Thomas Road. February in Arizona is just about perfect. It's Larry mcfailey and the weather's great. The roads are calling, and now is the time to find your next Toyota. If you're looking for something tough, then check out the Toyota Tacoma and Tundra. They're built to handle the desert trails, weekend projects, and everything in between. Need something smooth, efficient, and easy to love? The Camry and Corolla deliver comfort, reliability, and great fuel efficiency for your daily drive. No matter your lifestyle, there's a Toyota that fits you. Visit your Valley Toyota dealers or valleytoyotadealers.com Toyota. Let's go places. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Don't look at me. I'm a monster. I did enjoy sending pictures of my bleeding eye to people, though. I thought that was kind of neat post surgery. I was nifty.

[Brady]

I shared it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. People love people. Loved it. What happened? You're more than welcome to put that up on our Facebook page. And if you'd like Brett to take a photo of me as Phantom of the Opera today, that would be awesome, too. I. I patched up my eye. And here's another thing, ladies. I have more respect for you and your abilities to glue stuff to your face to not be ugly. Oops, sorry. To glue stuff to your face, not be ugly. I've had to put this patch on my eye every once in a while, and you got to tape it on your side itself. It's this little plastic circle that goes over your eye socket and then gauze and then tape and you ever try to tape anything to your face? It's impossible. It's the hardest thing in the world to me. Look at this mess that I've got on my head.

[Brady]

You're gonna miss an eyebrow. Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. You know what? This stuff, I. It doesn't do anything bad. Like, you can pull. It doesn't feel good, but it doesn't. It's not that this adhesive is really, really strangely just skin kind of ignores your hair, but, yeah, it's hard to do. So this is. This is as good a job as I can do. I can tape one on you. It would look pretty on me. It's just this hodgepodge. It's a nice. Oh, I've got tape going over my nose.

[Larry]

I understand that. Because you need an anchor point, right?

[John Holmberg]

No, there's a way. When they did it, when I left, it was perfect. Square nothing on my nose.

[Larry]

You didn't pay attention.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing down here but my jaw. I don't know why in your beard line in my ear, I had to clip this one. I'm like, it's like 14 pieces of tape.

[Brady]

And the standard, like, pirate patch.

[John Holmberg]

Probably one wouldn't work or it would work. It's supposed to be more of a plastic thing. Yes. I could go pirate face, but I think this is more of an announcement that it's temporary.

[Brady]

The pirate thing is full lazy eye patch.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. The pirate thing is very Days of our Lives. It's kind of. Of almost like I'm trying to be a character, but I have not. Not thought about. Like, I did. Look at buying pirate patches surprisingly easier than I would have imagined. Like, it's. They can get it to you today. Like, where do they sell those? And. But they do. There's places you can just buy pirate patches, but then some are novelty and they're kind of like cruddy.

[Brady]

The skull and crossbone all the thing

[John Holmberg]

you don't want is that much like your Kentucky deer, man, you don't want any fur. And a lot of them have that, like.

[Brady]

Oh, they do. Like a fur line.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Kind of like a fur thing on it. And it's like you could get stuff like it's. This doesn't. Yeah, you want the hard plastic. I want a full out plastic one. No leather and whatever. Just plastic.

[Larry]

Just like, okay.

[John Holmberg]

I was like, I can cap it.

[Brady]

Quit. Quit it.

[John Holmberg]

Lie. Nothing can happen to me. Yeah, I'm fine.

[Brady]

Look at another five days.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, No, I won't look another five minutes. Text my goodbyes and I'll be out. Ain't nobody loving me that much. I'm not worth it. I do have to say, though, that the AMBER alert worked. That was the most amazing. You guys see that? Now here's the thing. I'm laying face down on the couch, pissed off. Day six. I got one. One to go. And that starts going off my phone. I'm like, I thought I'd turn those off. I don't care about anybody missing. Didn't. So this Amber Alert goes off. And I look and I'm like, well, I'm talking to the wrong dude. I can't find my shoes right now. There's no way. And I'm not going outside. So I dismiss it like all the rest of us did in the Amber Alert. Whatever. Then on the news last night, I see the dudes that caught. They recognized the baby from a true truck. Try doing that again.

[Larry]

What you pointed out was. I think they recognized the racial makeup.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there was a situation. Black baby and a white woman. And the white woman was doing some crack in the car. And then one of the guys in the car is like, I think that's that Amber alert baby. And then they have in. In camera or in the. In cab cameras. And the dude's like, yeah, that's the baby. And they're looking at their phone.

[Brady]

That's her.

[John Holmberg]

So he's moved the truck up and blocked the. The lady from pulling out of the qt. And they got her, and the little kid got back. It was awesome. It was a great thing. And then they asked. They asked one lady what she thought of it, and she goes, are you kidding me? And then it said, oh, that's Savannah Gothri. Like, she's. That's. I see they found the baby in, like, a day. Her mom. They've just upped the price if you're interested. A million dollars if you can find Savannah Guthrie's mom. And that tells me that they're not real serious about paying, saying, that opened up.

[Brady]

Open up with a million.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't want to go. I don't want to go old west Tombstone on this, but does the poster say dead or alive? Because otherwise, I'm not looking.

[Brady]

I didn't see any poster that said said dead or alive.

[Larry]

You just saw the increase.

[John Holmberg]

You saw the money increase. But did it say dead or left? Like, if I find her, and like, oh, we wanted her back breathing. I'm like, well, it didn't say that. Like, old posters used to make it clear. Like, back when we were men, we'd put posters up, and we weren't all sensitive about it when it's a dead or alive.

[Brady]

But that wasn't for a missing.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. Technically, kind of was criminal. He's missing. Can't find him. You're missing, right? I mean, if you're putting up posters saying, we're looking for this guy, clearly he's missing. Now, whether or not you're checking on him for nefarious reasons or whatever, this is the same exact search. Like, if you're looking for William Bonney and you're looking for Nancy Guthrie, pretty much the same tactics apply, right? You put up posters, you say there's a reward, there's pictures, there's not a whole lot of difference.

[Brady]

Yeah. You know, and I think at this particular time, they're happy if you just find her.

[John Holmberg]

But I'm not talking about dead or alive. Okay, But I'm not talking about their happiness. I'm talking about if you're going to put up the reward money, like this dude, Elk, El Picho or whatever got killed. He. $15 million, but it was on. And by the way, you're welcome, Mexico. You tell them, Hobart. Yeah, our government helped. Our government helped kill El Mencho. We did that. We gave you the tip and you did it. But if you're in the military and you kill the guy, like Bin Laden had that massive thing. But the dude, we never knew, the payout there wasn't. He got money, but he didn't get, like, the big boy. Like, they had a reward on him, but, like, if Toledo found him, there's like a 50 million dollar bounty on the guy. A million. It's good, but I need some insurance

[Larry]

that if I find her, had a poster. Like, El Mencho had a post. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

So does Nancy Guthrie.

[Larry]

I don't know if it's in pesos, but it said 15 million.

[John Holmberg]

That's not pesos. They're gonna give you $830 for finding a men show, you know? Yes, I know it's a lot of money down there. Why don't we put it right under a gr. They knew what they were doing. And I don't know if they'll. You'll get a nice bonus, but you're not getting the full 15. If you're part of the cops or military, that's your job. But if it's just Toledo wandering around, he sees Nancy Guthrie's mom, I'd nab her again. Like, you're not going, right? You're. I'm not going to save you right away. Get in the car. And then I'm driving around going, hey, I got Nancy Guthrie. I didn't kidnap her, but I found her and I want that million and I can back that up. I've been face down for seven days. Like, there's. I have not been with her. But if I also find her kind of in a decomposing condition in a bush somewhere. I get half, right.

[Larry]

Well, if they get the one caller that says, hey, just to clarify, why only half?

[Brady]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

She's not full. I guess I just bring the corpse down. I don't necessarily want to do it, but I would. I would do, like the tul. I think I found Nancy Guthrie as that. But before I tell you everything. Yeah, what's that. What's that reward look like? Well, if you found her, where are we sitting? You should just want to report it. Yeah, I do, but I'm just saying.

[Larry]

And can I get that lump sum?

[John Holmberg]

I think I'd start treating it like I did kidnap her. I'm like, I think I want the money up front before I tell you where I'm at. Yeah, I'll give you my routing number, and you pop that in there. When I see that, I'll tell you where we are. But as of now, I just found her. You don't want to put a million dollars on it. That just. That's just a giant announcement that they're desperate and they think she's gone. Still, I stand by my original thought. This is going to turn into a border situation, and we're going to have.

[Larry]

I don't disagree because if you're the kidnappers, you're like, hey, they keep upping the money.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but they're not.

[Larry]

Hang on to us and then get, you know, Greg down the road to find her.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You split it five ways just to get her out of the house. Anyway, congratulations to the dudes who did the Amber Alert. That was important. Impressive. And it was just some moving company, right? Yeah. And they.

[Larry]

I wish I knew the name of the movie.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they pulled their truck up behind the truck of the. And again, the lady was smoking crack with a baby in the car. I'm pretty sure you're supposed to call the cops about that every time any. Anyway, so it was a bit of a. Is there a reward for that? It's a bit of a dice roll or a bullseye, so to speak, that they kind of got the big one that we were all alerted to. But a lady smoking crack with a baby in the car. You're. You're supposed to call the cops every.

[Brett Vesely]

Depending on what kind of neighbor you're driving in.

[John Holmberg]

Did that. Was there a reward on the Amber alerts? Did we get a couple hundred bucks for that?

[Brady]

I don't think to was at a play when it went off. The whole.

[Larry]

We were in Gamma and the Entire theater was, like, the worst.

[John Holmberg]

You get, like, dinner at Rodizio Grill or something, right? You. You solve an Amber alert, you get a. You get a Brazilian steakhouse night.

[Brady]

He's like, we got trouble right here.

[John Holmberg]

What flavor you at?

[Larry]

Clue.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I see. It's good. Yeah, sure it is. I know nobody's judging you.

[Larry]

It was a camelback moving company.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think that's right. I was on. I think that was on a. Whatever company. Yeah, yeah. They're always beacons. We at Beacons are always looking for children. Anyway, good job on that. Before we move forward with anything else, I have to let you guys know and the boys in the room. I'm the only one who knows this tomorrow is this amazing thing we're giving you. Oh, this is going to be great. It's a contest for you guys. I can't say what it is. I can't say if it's. I can't say anything till tomorrow at 7. And when I do tomorrow at 7, you guys are gonna. You're blown away. This is going to be amazing.

[Larry]

Brett said an alarm because we're not supposed to be late.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we won't be late. I'm going to be all over this one.

[Larry]

We're not supposed to be early either.

[John Holmberg]

I'll be early.

[Larry]

No,

[John Holmberg]

I'm going to start in with some details.

[Brett Vesely]

He's going to poke your other eye out. That's all right.

[John Holmberg]

I still beat him up. I still. I want to get it. I'm going to get it going around 6:47, 6:48, and I'm going to start mentioning little things. And then I'm just going to. I'm just going to tell you little, very Chris Berman. Yeah, but, Brett, trust me, this is worth it. So, you know, wake the kids, phone the neighbors. This is a worthwhile deal. People who don't like this show, get them involved.

[Larry]

Oh, there you go.

[John Holmberg]

Because it's going to be on the app, and it's going to be on. It's just going to be like what we did with Nine Inch Nails last week. Get them ready and tell people at your work to say, hey, do this for me. Help me out. Get us. And again, that is not a clever ploy on my part. That is to appease the radio knobs that run this place that our app numbers go. That's the whole reason we do this stuff. A, to do good radio and have that, but B, also to boost our numbers in all sorts of different ways. So if you can help us with that, trust Me. It'll be worth your time. Get as many people in your office, kids, just everything you can get. Neighbors, grandparents. Get them all on it and have them do the thing. And then you're gonna have to do some work with this by calling up saying, hey, I need you to do this word at 8 o' clock for me. And then. I'm tired of this. All right? Just do it, Nancy, or else.

[Brett Vesely]

Is it a weekend on the Dolly steamboat?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yep, it is. Get Nancy Guthrie's like little thumbs. You do it or else. But pull your hand back like you're gonna slug her again. If you've got Nancy Guthrie, that's an extra phone you can. This is a good one. And I don't want the Guthrie kidnappers to. To win. This thing's awesome. I can't go. And I'm going to be part of it, right? I can't be part of it. I'm going to be part of it. I can't really tell you how that works, but I'm glomming onto this my own way. But I still can't. Like, you're going to get the thing. I can't have it. And that's not because of radio or anything else. It's just unavailable. Like, there's nothing for me to have. Once we give the winner their prize, I. That's it. There's no, like, see you there. Oh, it's so, ah,

[Brady]

tomorrow, 6:47.

[John Holmberg]

Right around there, you just start figuring it out. This one says, I can't wait to hear what you're talking about. I have a great chance. Tomorrow is my wife and mine's 31st wedding anniversary and I'm feeling lucky. Here's the thing about that. It doesn't end tomorrow. It starts tomorrow. And it's going to drag on for a little bit, but maybe the very first time you enter will be the time that you claim. Oh, it's going to be great. I'm super excited about this because I would if I was just a gentle listener, as many of you listening are. This is one I would participate in. This is one I'd actually like the way my mom used to do it. Albuquerque's KB. Every morning at 8 o', clock, she'd. She'd play along with the morning zoo and KOB to try to get that weekend trip to Mazatlan. Never won. Was a finalist a couple of times, but she never won. She was so addicted to this game. This is what I'd be doing for this one. So get ready. And we casually mentioned it this morning. But Lewis from Revenge of the Nerds one through five is gone. Robert Carradine. Right. Another Carradine brother. And this one went naturally. He did not.

[Brady]

No.

[Brett Vesely]

I thought he offed himself.

[Larry]

He did.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Because he had bipolar.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no kidding. He wasn't tugging like, his novel for,

[Brady]

like, two decades, I guess.

[John Holmberg]

I thought he just died. And they keep saying that. How in the world is the Lizzie McGuire thing his highest credit? Like, every time I see Robert carradine of Lizzie McGuire dies, I'm like, no,

[Larry]

because his contemporaries are all dead. And anybody who nobody remembers him from

[Brady]

Lizzie McDonald was a revenge of the Nerds.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, good. Because it's aimed at a specific age group.

[Brett Vesely]

Done. Besides those ten Revenge of the Nerd movies.

[John Holmberg]

Lizzie McGuire. McGuire.

[Brett Vesely]

That's about it.

[John Holmberg]

That's it. But you lead with the Revenge of the Nerds and then say, also Lizzie McGuire for the younger weirdos with Lizzie McGuire is for little girls. Girls. Right. Revenge of the Nerds. That was a. That was a happening. That still gets quoted by people. If it's on. Like, young people will watch Revenge. It's very relatable. Outside of the incredibly grotesque rape scene, that is.

[Brady]

Louis Skolnick is a legend.

[John Holmberg]

He's a legend. Louis Skolnick is a legend. And absolutely in her disguise.

[Larry]

And raping a child.

[John Holmberg]

Raping the prom queen. And he did it and cheered, Yay. And we were in the theater going, he got her, and he fooled her to do it. Dreams do come true. It's a horrible scene. It does not age well. The rape and the bounce house of that comedy. And then the best thing is, is it taught an entire generation of nerds that rape leads to love. If you're good enough at rape, rape, she'll love you. That's what I learned from Revenge of the Nerd. Sure, she may not want 16 candles in the back of the car. She may. Exactly. She was drunk. All she cared about was, was I good? And she's like, I think I love Farmer Ted. This rape has changed my. My oxytocin levels. Terrible. The 80s were loaded with them, and they're classics. End of Sixteen Candles in that Rolls Royce. He boned her. She's grossed out by it. Like, ah, I can't believe that. But you know what? I gotta give her credit. That might be the last time on celluloid that a woman took accountability for her actions. She was drunk. She didn't know what she was doing. She woke up next to guy and went, yeah, Crap. Well, it's not his fault. I'd bone me if I was drunk. But the Revenge of the Nurse, Leonard's rape scene doesn't age well. You know what else doesn't age well? And I watched this through a mirror backwards. The documentary that they're trying to attack Tyra Banks over. America's Next Top Model. Because there's rape in that. What? Yeah. I didn't know that either. And I watched America's Next Top Model. I loved that show. And Tyra Banks.

[Brett Vesely]

Which year?

[John Holmberg]

Which first one? Season one or two, I don't remember. Wow. But a girl got drunk in a hot tub, and they had male models there, too, and she started making out with them, and the cameraman filmed the whole rape because they're like, it's a reality show. They don't know what to do.

[Brady]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

And then at the end, they filmed her calling her boyfriend, saying, something horrible's happened, and I've cheated on you. And they had the whole exchange on. And then at the end, the cameraman goes, I'm so sorry we had to film that. And then they, like, cut it up and aired it.

[Brady]

Sorry, you signed it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Then she got drunk, and she's trying to blame Tyra Banks, and Tyra Banks was, you know, the executive producer and all that, and telling everybody they were. But the girl went on to be like. She got. She was pretty screwed up by it, I bet. And that. Well, yeah, rape will do that. Unless you're. Unless the guy was.

[Brady]

You side with.

[John Holmberg]

It's nuanced, Brady. There's a middle. Tyra Banks had nothing to do with it outside of, hey, we told you we're going to film everything. You're. Your behavior is your own. She did not go into that bed forcibly. She wanted to be there.

[Brady]

Would you. You know, being the producer of the show or whatever, made the same decision. We're airing that.

[John Holmberg]

No. Maybe because she didn't say it was. She didn't say it was bad till after the phone call to admit to her boyfriend that she'd messed around with another guy. And then after that, when it all kind of weighed down on her, she's like, I didn't really even want to do it, but she was so drunk. And then again, you start realizing, well, who's feeding them the alcohol and where are they? They. And. But you are responsible for your own behavior, and you did take that guy into bed. Now, having it filmed the entire time was awkward, but it's a pretty good documentary. And they go after Tyra pretty good. She was evil. But they just called everybody fat back then. And you couldn't have an extra pound on you. And Tyra and Janice Dickinson were mean, but that's what made the show so good. I mean, if. If anything, you go back in retrospect and watch Simon Cowell on the early American Idols. It's not going to age well either. He called women fat all the time. They go up and sing like an angel. He's like, but you. You can't be America's next top Model. You're too fat. I don't see you doing well next. And then it'll be like, oh, you're going to Hollywood. No. And Simon was always right. I can't sell this. You're hideous. Go lose weight. And that was how it was in 2003. It's a good documentary, though, because you see kind of what the horrors of aging on these girls who are.

[Larry]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

Wanted to be models in 2003 and then 2006. Let me guess.

[Larry]

They're still not at their model weight.

[John Holmberg]

Couple of them are not. A couple of them ate their model weight in weight, and then a few of them still look great. It's. It was pretty interesting, though. So that was what I did with my time, and I watched it backwards. I watched. I watched it in reverse on a mirror. What a setup. Anyway, so hop on that if you got some time to kill, if you got an eye surgery or something. We got the hot releases coming up in just moments. Tomorrow, 7am Think about it from now until tomorrow. How many people you need to tell to download the app today? Tell them today. Get everyone. You know that people who hate me. Download the app. Don't just. You don't have to listen. Just tell them. You don't have to listen. Just download the app. I'll tell you what to do from there. And then get, like, a text thread going with like, 10 or 12 people that are like, please, I need you to download this. And then fire off the words I give you every hour. And then have them do it and say, I'll. You know, I'll give you a hundred bucks if I win this thing. All you have to do is put the. The word I tell you to put into a little thing. Please do this. And then they'll call that person. Like, I don't even listen. Oh, yeah, this is for Jimmy. Like, just take it. And then you can claim everything. Tell your friends, tell your co workers. Get people. You don't. No foreigners everywhere. Just have them download the app today. Blow it up, please, and then go get your retinas checked. We Got the hot releases coming up in just moments. It's 98 Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. Everybody loves the Toyota Tacoma. This is Larry McFeely. And even our very own Tripp Reeb just picked up a new Toyota Tacoma for his towing needs. Of course, he loves the fact that it provides over 450 foot pounds of torque, but you should have heard him raving about the giant 14 inch touchscreen and his favorite, the removable JBL Bluetooth speaker you can pull right off of the dash to blast the 98k upd app. He's a Tacoma lover now, but how could he not be?

[Larry]

It's time for you to take a

[John Holmberg]

look at the new Toyota Tacoma. Visit your valley Toyota dealers or valleytoyotadealers.com Toyota let's go places. With a global credit card, you earn reward points for every purchase. Use your rewards at checkout at many of your favorite stores or use points instead of cash when you shop online. You can even use them to book a flight up to three days in advance. New York, Vegas, Albuquerque. Albuquerque. From groceries to getaways, redeem your way. Apply for your global credit card [e-mail] Global Credit Union. Your world of financial possibilities. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. 88. What the hell is wrong with you? I thought that one would wear on me poorly, but it is the opposite. I'm enjoying. Never thought I'd say this. I'm enjoying making love to Morgan Wallen quite a bit. Quite a bit. My friend Kyle says, John, I don't know how he's done it. Where is that? Basically said it's the quote. Another beautiful quote by you. And he said, I had to make this for you. And he made a little Hallmark card says if the rape is good enough, it leads to love. Sign John Holberg. And that is a quote I have in my. But he's worried. He said, I accidentally searched this quote because I was trying to see if it had been said before. And then when I hit enter, I realized you're my Epstein.

[Brady]

You don't want to do that.

[John Holmberg]

Copyright. Yeah, that's. Is this legal? About to take this patch off my eyes. I know. I'm starting to see tape. Let's just eliminate that, shall we? I'm unpatching.

[Larry]

I don't know if this is good. Dewey.

[Brett Vesely]

I did post the before picture. I'll post the after picture a little bit later.

[John Holmberg]

So it's plastic. Yeah. Get my shield in it. You thought I was lying about that.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Thought I'd make that story click.

[Brady]

That was. That was his eye.

[John Holmberg]

He wasn't kidding. Tap, tap, tap.

[Larry]

I thought if you should have done that.

[Brady]

Look at. You're like.

[Larry]

Now you're favoring.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. I have to shut it because I can't see out of it. Put the thing back on. No, it's fine. It's. I've been this way the first time I've worn the tape over my eyes just because I drove.

[Larry]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. I'm driving.

[Larry]

I know. I saw.

[John Holmberg]

I got a bit.

[Larry]

I saw you and you were in the. The turn in lane, and all I saw was your blinker, and I thought your hazards were on. I'm like, oh, ready?

[John Holmberg]

He's done it already.

[Brady]

We need to wait. Terminus. The Terminator glasses.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Just to close that up. Well, that's the crazy part is I look like. The hell's that guy's name? The Kano from Mortal Kombat. Like, I have.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

My eye turns red anyway. Oh, that does feel better. But now I'm just looking through the bubble, and now it's just wobbling around. It's so weird. Don't do that. It's okay. Bubble smaller. Anyway, I'm going to be focused on that. It's time for the premature releases. Is it not? Sure. Are you ready?

[Brady]

I'm ready.

[John Holmberg]

You gentlemen have this all prepared and you're ready to go.

[Brett Vesely]

That's rare, but we got it.

[John Holmberg]

I'm very shocked by this, to be honest with you, but all right, go. That's it.

[Larry]

Oh, right away.

[John Holmberg]

I can't read.

[Brady]

I keep waiting.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing I can do about waiting for a sponsor.

[Larry]

And I don't think we have one.

[John Holmberg]

No, I can't. I can't read it. If we had one. Go ahead. All right.

[Larry]

On Apple tv, the second season of. Where's the name of this thing? It just gives me the name of this.

[John Holmberg]

Unleash.

[Larry]

No, no, that's not it.

[Brady]

It's Monarch.

[Larry]

Yeah. Monarch. Legacy of monsters.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's the Kurt Russell movie show.

[Brady]

It's a show.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That has all of basically cruddy Godzilla.

[Larry]

Cry Godzilla. I think some of the other monsters are supposed to show up as well. So it says, huh?

[John Holmberg]

To another world. Russell looks great. He's like 75 years old.

[Larry]

He does look great.

[John Holmberg]

All right, I'm not interested. It looks cheap. Oh, my God. He does look better than gold.

[Brett Vesely]

Not aging well.

[John Holmberg]

Are they still together? Yeah. What a mistake he made there.

[Larry]

All right. On Hulu. And Disney Plus Paradise Season 2 is out six months paradise isn't looking much like paradise anymore. In season two the poke post apocalyptic thriller goes beyond the bunker and heads above ground to explore the aftermath of the end of the world.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, this was Lost. Wait, this I've I watched some survival I watched they put this on ABC for a while and they pop it on like after sports things. I promise it's not terrible now I

[Larry]

think it's just as much and Hulu to destroy monster.

[John Holmberg]

This is Terry Rogers Collins like he was the go. He's like a secret service agent for the president.

[Brett Vesely]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

And who's the president? It was the.

[Larry]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

It's actually not bad. It got a little weird but that's

[Larry]

what everybody's saying and then the return of Scrubs.

[John Holmberg]

Oh.

[Larry]

Happens on Thursday on ABC and then you can get it on Hulu as well. Wednesday.

[John Holmberg]

Sorry. Oh, but I am no retracted. It's old Scrubs and it's Nothing changed about no. They all look exactly alike. That's the good news. Zach Braff is slowly morphing into Jon Stewart and Ray Romano's baby.

[Brady]

I don't know how many episodes he directed on shrinking. A lot.

[John Holmberg]

A lot.

[Larry]

Yeah, I noticed the last one he did or the one before this season's pretty good so far for all the ladies. Bridgerton Season 4, Part 2 is out on Netflix this week. So you know what you're getting with Bridgerton.

[Brett Vesely]

Does that mean it's over? If they're doing the part twos of one season already split it.

[Larry]

They split it for a money grab.

[John Holmberg]

Being a mistress is the last thing I would ever want. How else am I being a mistress is the last thing I would ever want?

[Larry]

But here I am being a mistress.

[John Holmberg]

No one volunteers to be a mistress. I'll do it. Had no one. Everton, do you need something? You never get that rap on your door. I'd like to be your mistress. Oh, sure.

[Brett Vesely]

Where.

[Larry]

Where do I apply?

[John Holmberg]

Wow. This is easy. Something bigger. And Survivor season 5 million.

[Brady]

That's hang on answers all over this

[Larry]

50 and our own. Our own. Ye put in his tape for the 50th. He didn't get selected.

[John Holmberg]

Doesn't matter, right? I mean I've thought about going on Survivor but that's not enough to talk about.

[Larry]

It was the Amazing Race.

[John Holmberg]

I did that too. Oh, the winner of the. You don't get chosen. It doesn't matter. Rich. Oh, this is a retrospective.

[Larry]

A little bit of a retrospective. As they celebrate season 50, they're going to go back through all the winners.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Larry]

And then the last one I have for you is on. Prime Video is a new series called the Gray House that is about the Civil War. Gripping historical drama set during the American Civil War, based on the remarkable true story that remained hidden for generations. Created for Prime Video and directed across all eight episodes by acclaimed filmmaker Roland Yaffe.

[John Holmberg]

What's the story?

[Larry]

Yeah. Civil War. Maybe you've heard of it?

[John Holmberg]

No, I know the Civil War, but that's not something they've hidden for ages. Yeah, besides that Civil War. Oh, that hidden gem.

[Brady]

Oh, that's all you need to know.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry]

Series follows the clandestine network of women who operated along the Underground Railroad, transforming.

[John Holmberg]

Fred. I've heard whispers of this Civil War, but never any details, really.

[Brett Vesely]

Can you tell me about it?

[John Holmberg]

No, I can't, because there's no. There's no, like, real nobody ever. There was no documents, idiot. Yeah, that sounds. Thanks for selling that, dude. Dickhead.

[Larry]

Two movies out this week. Scream 7 is out Friday.

[Brady]

Another one.

[Larry]

You know what you're getting?

[John Holmberg]

The Civil War was. That's all you need to know. Oh, that's so cool. It's a motion detector. What's this?

[Larry]

Scream 7?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I pretty much get the gist of that.

[Larry]

Another chase of.

[John Holmberg]

Is that set in the Civil War? I'm not sure what time period.

[Larry]

How about this one for you?

[John Holmberg]

Epic.

[Larry]

Elvis Presley in concert.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he was great. Singing to the slaves. My favorite moment with Brady in the 25 years was off the air once when I showed him an Instagram thing of Elvis Presley. That guy that does a full. He does his Instagram thing and of Elvis losing his mind on stage, and he's AI'd. Elvis doing terrible things. So he be like, I just told everybody. I just. I just wanted everybody. It'll be caught in a trap. And he'd start song, and he just pulls a gun out and he starts shooting at the audience. And Brady goes, is that real? Like, we'd have heard of this. That or it's almost when, like, Dale thought his game he was playing was still on when he landed. He's.

[Larry]

You haven't convinced him otherwise of that.

[John Holmberg]

He doesn't understand that when he landed, the game being unmistakable.

[Larry]

It's still playing, Johnny.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't think they had tape. You weren't there.

[Brett Vesely]

How was it still playing? What's this on?

[Larry]

This is a movie out in front theaters directed by Boz Luhrmann. He put together a bunch of footage and interviews with Elvis.

[John Holmberg]

All of his research for the Elvis movie with Austin Butler. Is basically what you're looking at.

[Brett Vesely]

I'll wait for streaming on this.

[John Holmberg]

Me, too, but that'll be great. More than a documentary that I will be excited about. All right, that's it. All right.

[Brett Vesely]

We've put. We've talked about this one before.

[Brady]

It's.

[Brett Vesely]

But it's finally out. The album's out. The singles that were out before, but Rob Zombie's new album, the Great Satan, hits streaming and everything else this week. This is Heathen Days, New Zombie full album.

[John Holmberg]

How fast till he says yeah.

[Larry]

Is this the song or the name of the album?

[Brett Vesely]

This is the song.

[John Holmberg]

Heathen Days, the Great Satan. Are we sure it's him or is this a. Oh, this is real. This is the single that they've released. So. Scott Haynes just asked me, hey, John, if you thought of submitting your tape on Love is Blind. You know what? You. Haynes.

[Brett Vesely]

We've talked about this one before, too, but Bruno Mars album hit stores this week. Finally.

[John Holmberg]

I Just Might. I don't like this one. I'm not a big fan of I Just Might. Is there anything else off of it we can hear yet? It's cat catchy, but it's. It's. It burns quick. I'll be here in April.

[Brady]

Great show.

[Brett Vesely]

I want to go, but I'm not paying those prices.

[John Holmberg]

They got Anderson packed before, so they're gonna do some silk Sonic style. I've grown into being a Bruno fan. Yeah, it's pretty good. It's a. It's a catchy song, but it's Gorillas.

[Brett Vesely]

Gorilla's got a new song. This is Orange County

[John Holmberg]

Animated again. Oh, yeah. That's the hardest thing.

[Brett Vesely]

The gorillas. I mean, you kind of know.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[Brett Vesely]

It's going to be strange and eclectic.

[John Holmberg]

This is what I think plays in brady's brain all day.

[Brady]

Pretty accurate.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Don't let larry hear this song. Oh, my God. I whistle it for months.

[Larry]

Yep.

[Brett Vesely]

This is a band called dustbolt. This is super gal real or AI no, I believe this one's real.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brett Vesely]

I do have an AI one.

[John Holmberg]

Dust bolt. Yes.

[Brett Vesely]

Bunch of guys that got killed. Careers got killed by Nirvana.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They tried new stuff. You know what? It's time to try again. Cool riff. That is cool. I like that. Kind of a fun, driving, silly rock song.

[Brett Vesely]

Puddle Mud's back with their latest one. This is Rain.

[John Holmberg]

How's he? Still alive. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm shocked, too.

[John Holmberg]

All day long I think of you I don't know. I don't know what to do. Does anybody got a lot A little light to shine On a fire, a fire all my life I'm on my way straight into town. Get to it, wes. All right, Come on. We get it now. Boom. Drums go a lot of west.

[Brett Vesely]

Nobody else knows anybody else in the band. This is probably changed ten times over.

[John Holmberg]

Drums and go. Drums actually slowed it down. Well, if that's the first release off the album, I'm not overly excited.

[Brett Vesely]

And everybody was talking about that Marilyn Manson song that we got that got released. That was AI guy. Well, here's another one that those guys did, too.

[John Holmberg]

No. Is it good?

[Brett Vesely]

It's not bad.

[John Holmberg]

Fake Marilyn Manson. Just so much better than the real one.

[Larry]

What's the group.

[Brady]

What were they called?

[John Holmberg]

TPF track. Pulse Factory. I like it already. You got etiquette celebrated to the room. Yeah. Down hunting alleys. You're hunting daylight. Can you imagine, though, the first two releases off the New Mansion? You'd be like, kill.

[Brett Vesely]

He'd be back.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, I can't AI.

[Brett Vesely]

It's crazy.

[John Holmberg]

I bow to you, AI.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, so let's get to some of our AI songs. Here's Finnish all over my face.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, Finnish. Like a person from Finland? Exactly. Yes.

[Brett Vesely]

From Anita Mandalay.

[John Holmberg]

It's getting dumber. How are we getting dumber with all this information? We've known each other a couple of days already. Love you in so many ways. Here it goes. We just met but I already know that you're mine kind of guy. You're turning the the lights way down low Taking your time you move real slow but there's no reason you have to be this shy. We were made for each other. I hope that you agree There it comes. So to speak. But I have a request I hope you'll do for me it comes. Come on. And finish. All over my face I lick it off I won't leave a trace it's something that I only want from you. Is this like, in a Bad Bond paradox? It is. Oh, it is. Yeah. I like it.

[Brett Vesely]

Here's another one. This one's called Stop Bitching.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I like it already. Who's the guy singing it? Who's the fake guy singing?

[Larry]

Oh, that was dust on the screen. I thought that his Jerry curl was dripping.

[John Holmberg]

Sorry. We should have been playing N Word or F Word. Yeah, no kidding. Stop bitching. N word. Stop Bitching. It's a song about that guy with

[Brett Vesely]

Tourette's at the bathtub, so you can find that yourself. That's AI for the culture.

[John Holmberg]

Play with that at home.

[Brett Vesely]

So let's go to N Word or F Word. Speaking of Which. And we'll do new stuff from Snoop Dogg.

[John Holmberg]

The Olympian.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes. This is slide off new.

[John Holmberg]

I won.

[Larry]

I'm gonna say soft. Friendly. N word,

[John Holmberg]

man. Snoop is friendly now and like, marketable. So I'm gonna go with the a. A kind F word.

[Brady]

I'll go angry. N word. Angry. N word.

[John Holmberg]

Surprising. Video coming out of the ocean. Chisel dizzle is cold out here. Just got back from Italy,

[Brett Vesely]

Big boss.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing near y'. All. I'm way up yonder. Can't hear you. There it is. It's a friendly N word. Toledo's God. Or is that you? Did you go friendly? Friendly. Friendly. Congratulations.

[Brett Vesely]

So there you go.

[Brady]

N word. Can't hear you.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Calm down.

[Brady]

He's crushing Randy's donut.

[John Holmberg]

You always he crushed around Brady watched the video and that's what he took.

[Brett Vesely]

There you go, Randy.

[John Holmberg]

Stut. Criminal. Criminal. It's 9. 42. There you go, everybody. That. Those are your hot releases. It's 98 KUPD, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness to tell you about the Core Institute. People who met me found out that I've had four major operations in the last four years. They're blown away. I've had both shoulders replaced and both hips replaced because I was an absolute disaster before my surgeries. I was in pain. Now no one knows I've had any issues. People who hear multiple surgeries assume the never be the same again. It's just not true. I'm better than I've been in 20 years. Stop quitting the things you love and get back to being the pain free you you love. The core institute dot com. Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my friend Wayne from AMCO. Wayne, it's tax time. You filed and your refunds burn in a hole in your pocket. That's right, Larry. Before you book a trip or buy something shiny, please remember your car. Tax time's the best time to take care of all the car repairs you've been putting off. Sure, because nothing kills a tax refund buzz faster than a surprise car breakdown. I'll say. If your car's been acting up, now's the time to handle it. Should we wait for our refund before getting repairs? Amco payment plans let you get repairs now and pay when you get your check. Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco double A MCO transmissions and a whole lot more. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Oh, I can't say anything. But I'm gonna say something. I got till 7 tomorrow.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, don't do it. Larry's gonna have a coronary.

[John Holmberg]

Daniel loses mine. So people are emailing me going, what are you talking about? Money. You guys giving away a ton of money. Look, I already, when I found out what this was, I'm like, let me, let me tag the 25th anniversary of this show on that and act like we have something to do with it. We really don't. But it's because it's our 25th anniversary. We're going to be giving away awesome stuff. And first things first, the Nine Inch Nails was a pretty great deal giving you the suite to that. This is ridiculous. What we're about to hand over. And it's, you know, the values is thousands and thousands of dollars. I can't tell you how great this is. Tomorrow, 7:00am get ready for it right now. It's time for the entertainment drill. And it's brought to you by. Oh, yes. I'm a little hyper focused on it, even though I can't focus. The Schwartz Laser Eye Center. The complimentary consultation I tell you to go get at the Schwartz Laser Eye center means more to me now than it ever has. After all I've been through in the last couple weeks with this torn retina. I know a couple things that I didn't know before. And if you're seeing floaties and you're seeing stuff that's weird and you feel pressure in your eyes and you haven't had a consultation on your eyes in a while, do yourself a favor and avoid everything I went through. Just go get that consultation done. It's worth it. You don't want what I had to do. And it isn't so much that the eyeball hurts or there's any sort of vision weirdness or anything else, you don't want to lay flat on your face for seven solid days, 24 hours a day, trust me, it's miserable. Miserable. It's mentally debilitating. It is destructive. And you don't realize that your eyeballs really the only part of your body that if you injure them, you're not allowed to move. Everything else is rehabable. Your eyes aren't. It's so strange. So take it from me right now. You know, they have the Lasik surgery and all the other stuff to kind of correct your vision. Go in there and make sure that your eyes are healthy first before any of this stuff happens. Because man, when you get popped with one of these deals and it can happen to any of us. So if you're starting to see the signs, which are floaters, they're a little bigger than normal. You know what? Go get it looked at. I talked to Channel 12's Troy Hayden about it, and he's going in there. Dr. J. Schwartz is waiting for you. Blow their phones up, team idoc.com and make sure that you're avoiding the face down for seven days. If you can avoid it again, test yourself. Homeberg's an idiot. Lay down, John it right now, Gordon. Lay flat on that couch. And now seven days of that. Nope, your face can't go sideways. It has to be straight in. How about that? Do it. You're planking. You plank for seven days straight. It's misery. And you can try to avoid it. Maybe not. But man, get ahead of it if you can. And go get your eyes checked out. Just make sure they're doing all right. Never a bad idea just to get a little checkup on those eyeballs because, man, they cannot recover like you think. Think they're. They're miraculous in their own way. But when they get screwed up, your whole life stops. And you don't want that. Trust me. Schwartz Laser Eye Center. They are the official eye center for your Diamondbacks and Sons team. IDOC.com Brady Entertainment Here's a couple of

[Brady]

crazy celebrity fun facts. Patrick Stewart didn't know he was uncircumcised until his wife told him.

[John Holmberg]

I have no idea. None shall cut.

[Brady]

When Elton John and David Furnish entered into their civil union, Eminem sent them two diamond encrusted rings, but not the time you were on your fingers.

[John Holmberg]

C rings.

[Brady]

Yep. Elton says they still yet to use them.

[John Holmberg]

That's very thoughtful. Well, you don't want to get crap on diamonds. You know, you take your class ring off before you go back door. Yeah.

[Brady]

You ready for this one? Dick Van Dyke says he once fell asleep on a surfboard in the ocean, got lost at sea and dolphins pushed him to shore.

[John Holmberg]

He's. He's old and he's hallucinating and it's time we put him down. And then you wouldn't believe what happened next, Laura. I'm not Laura. You wouldn't believe it. Oh, now the announcement is 8am tomorrow. Because it's pushing it back. What do you mean? It's 7am Pacific. We don't. What? That's what it says here. Are we the. We're not the only station doing it

[Larry]

at 7am our time.

[John Holmberg]

Because. Is that right? Larry, is this thing. Am I announcing something that other stations are announcing as well for you? You're announcing something that is going to be. It's only us. Sorta. Yes. Okay. We cannot announce it at 7 because they're. They're gonna have. Other. Other people will be in on this.

[Brady]

Correct.

[John Holmberg]

Got it. Okay.

[Brett Vesely]

So.

[John Holmberg]

Which is fine, right? I don't care that you know, because this is a big deal. So I would assume. And it was like, hey, you didn't know Pacific time. And I was like, you never told me that. Okay, 8:00am Tomorrow, not 7. 8:00am oh, boy.

[Brady]

What a CT. 747.

[John Holmberg]

What a CT. Yeah, about 7:47. I'm going to let the cat out of the back. I can't help it.

[Brett Vesely]

Don't do it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, boy.

[Brett Vesely]

Larry's going to die.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. All right, eight o' clock tomorrow. Sorry, we just got the word that we have to push it another hour. But it's worth. It's worth it. I might tell.

[Brady]

Early Cher puts Tom Cruise in her top five of all time when it comes to sex.

[John Holmberg]

Sharon. Sex with Tom Cruise?

[Brady]

Guess.

[John Holmberg]

So like a. She's like seven feet tall. He's. He's a baby. You.

[Brady]

During a visit to a private zoo,

[John Holmberg]

did you just try to do a share or are you okay?

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Little chair. Brady had like a gas bubble in his tummy. Didn't dawn on me that that's what you were doing. I thought you were joking.

[Brady]

It took a minute.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, because it wasn't anything. It was just a. It's like Bus does that when he needs to go out.

[Brady]

During a visit to a private zoo, Mike Tyson once offered the owners $10,000 to let him fight a gorilla. They turned it down.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, because it's a terrible idea. Get in there and fight a gorilla. I mean, what's the harm? What's the heart's $10,000? How else am I gonna earn that? How am I gonna earn that? Brady, if you're getting a 10,000, I'm doing it. No, Mike. Who's in Mike's team? We haven't talked to you a little bit, Mike. I think it's a great idea. I think we're gonna get this done. I think it's a terrible idea. I'm gonna have to go ahead and say I vote against it. One four. One against. That's two. I win.

[Brady]

Fans of Breaking Bad are in a rear view bombing war with fans of Game of Thrones. It all started because an episode from Breaking Bad's final season, the one called Is it Ozymandias?

[John Holmberg]

Ozymandes, that it's the flower thing.

[Brady]

Which was the top rated TV episode of all time on IMDb.com is that right? Hundreds of thousands of user ratings. It stood at a perfect 10 and fans of the show wanted to keep it that way. So whenever an episode of a show seemed to be racking up 10 star reviews, breaking Bad fans would start bombing it with one star reviews. An episode of Succession, Chernobyl started approaching the tens and they started doing the one star reviews to pop it back down. Well, most recently, it was the Game of Thrones spin off a Night of the Seven Kingdoms garbage. The episode in the Name of the Mother had racked up 99,000 10 star reviews. Breaking Bad fans could. Couldn't have it. So they started bombing it.

[John Holmberg]

Good work.

[Brady]

Game of Thrones retaliated and they gave more than 70,000 one star reviews to the Ozymandias episode of Breaking Bad. Dropped it down to a 9.5.

[John Holmberg]

Ozymandias is the penultimate part of the story that Jesse gets captured. Hank died. Dies. That's the one where he tells Jesse that he watched Jane die. It's one of the greatest Breaking Bad episodes that there is. And then, yeah, it's pretty awesome. The shootout with the, with the neo Nazis. Oh, nothing Game of Thrones can put together is as good as that.

[Brady]

Andrew McCarthy says his son watched Weekend at Bernie's when he was 15 teen and he thought it was the stupidest movie he's ever seen. And Andrew told him, well, that's the point.

[John Holmberg]

Also, you're welcome. Yeah, you're. The roof that you're under is because of Bernie. And the great Terry Kaiser should have gotten an Academy Award for that first one. He played a dead guy hilariously. Like he was brilliant in that and was dead. Remember, Terry Kaiser was the bad guy in Three's Company every once in a while.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Wow, there's a. Yeah.

[Brady]

His daughter Willow also.

[John Holmberg]

That's what my brain hangs on to. No math, no literature, no nothing.

[Brett Vesely]

It's.

[John Holmberg]

Remember, in Three's Company's Eric Kaiser was the. The regal beagle villain. Yeah, that's what I know. He.

[Brady]

I don't remember that.

[John Holmberg]

Now you'd have to go, Brady, there's a reason you don't and it's because you shouldn't. There's no reason to remember it, but my brain grabs those things.

[Brady]

His daughter Willow also tried to watch Pretty in Pink a few years ago when she was 16. 16. But she shut her off when he started kissing Molly.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that movie sucks. Pretty in Pink is wildly overrated. And why? Because she didn't like that she was. He was kissing with somebody other than Mom.

[Brady]

Yeah. Looks like you're gonna have to head to Vegas in September, John.

[John Holmberg]

There's Terry, guys. Did he have Jack's Bistro already? Apparently no, not quite because that was Three's a Crowd. That was the spin off after.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, he's coming to Bistro. I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Well he was a chef, but.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, but I don't know if. I don't know if he owned it at this point.

[John Holmberg]

Harry Kaiser was going to bust him up. He's a little afraid of him. Yeah. And then, and then he was the blind guy. No, he didn't play the blind guy. That was a different guy. And he always wanted to beat up Jack. He had several different roles on Three's company because back in the 70s people were so stupid that the same actor could come on a show as a different character multiple times. MASH did it all the time and they did it with the Asians. Like no one will know. Well, we didn't. They weren't wrong.

[Brady]

So. September 19, Vegas at the Sphere. Manny Pacquiar Vers Mayweather.

[John Holmberg]

They're gonna fight it. Oh, it's. It's an old man fight that has no meaning. But they're the same age so it actually.

[Brady]

50.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's. It's got a little life to it because there's nothing on it other than two 50 year olds fighting. Which you would watch in a place parking lot if it happens in Sphere. Holy smokes.

[Brady]

First time around it was called the fight of the century.

[John Holmberg]

It wasn't though.

[Brady]

Pay per view numbers, 4.6 million buys.

[John Holmberg]

I flew to Vegas for that fight to watch it in a convention room.

[Brett Vesely]

Like to watch it in the convention.

[John Holmberg]

All the convention. MGM opened up their convention rooms and put up massive screens and sold tickets to that because getting tickets to the actual. I went to all of Mayweather's fights. The only one I did couldn't get to. Oh, I got to a convention. I got a front row at the convention which was.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

It was great. The fight was terrible. But they probably sold 5, 000 seats in each MGM aria, all of them. Everybody's had their convention centers.

[Brett Vesely]

Jesus.

[John Holmberg]

It was, it was massive and it was such a terrible, I mean absolutely terrible fight. Terrible fight. Anyway, that's it.

[Brady]

All right, Well I get 4.6 million buys this time.

[John Holmberg]

No, because you know what styles make fights and these two don't match up well, especially older. Like, Manny's an active fighter. He throws 1200 punches a fight. Floyd dodges. So it's one guy chasing and one guy playing the best defense you've ever seen and then just hoping for one punch and then they pitter pat.

[Brady]

He'll probably throw maybe 900 punches.

[John Holmberg]

He. He's. He's. Yeah, he can still throw them down a little. I don't think he can take the punch. I don't think Floyd can deliver it. I don't know. It might be interesting. It's equally matched, so even their skills have diminished at the same rate. Might be what we wanted 20 years ago. There you go. That's it for us. First day back. Not bad.

[Brady]

Good job, man.

[John Holmberg]

I'm trying. My head hurts. It's a little. It's a lot. But that's it. We're done. Larry is now going to do his regular job and not tell you what we're going to talk about tomorrow morning at 8:00am oh, John, do you know about it? It.

[Brady]

Oh. Huh.

[John Holmberg]

Am I exaggerating? No, it's awesome. All right, we'll find out together tomorrow. I already know, and trust me, it's been hard for me to not let the cat out of the bag. So tomorrow, around 7 o', clock, I'm gonna start. Better not. I'm gonna start leaking like a sieve. And then at 8, I'll let you know everything. But it's gonna be great, so get ready for it. And again today, people you don't know, people who hate us. Doesn't matter. Have people download our app and get them familiar with it. Start a text thread with like 20 people and have them all say, look, I'm going to text you every hour to put a word in this app. Just do it and I'll explain it later. You're going to want to win this thing. It's going to be awesome. The more the better. And plus, it helps us when all these people download the app. We don't care if they listen or not. I mean, our bosses do. They think it's a thing, but they're so stupid.

[Brett Vesely]

It helps our podcast.

[John Holmberg]

Look, they'll see. Yeah, they'll see the spike and they'll be like, what happened? Why are you really. It doesn't matter. They're dumb. So let's just give the dumb dog a cookie and get them off our ass. Am I wrong? Thank you. We're done. You guys have yourselves a great day. We'll see you tomorrow on the morning sickness. Arizona's most power, powerful, powerful rock radio station. This is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. I made a lot of poor decisions in my past that had lifelong consequences. After I was released from prison for the last time in 2014, I discovered the process to have my convictions dismissed and all of my rights restored, including my Second Amendment rights. Since achieving this for myself in 2018, our attorney has assisted over 3,000 others in doing the same. If you are still living under the consequences of past mistakes and would like to restore your rights as I have, visit restoremycivilrights.com and book a free consultation

[Brady]

Today it's Brady for Game Day Men's Health, the Valley's largest men's health clinic with 12 locations. You should schedule a complimentary appointment today. Go to gamedaymen's health.com Every location has a cool man cave environment. You'll sit down with a board certified medical director and figure out what treatments that can help you. They have an on site lab and you will know what your testosterone level is during your first meeting. Do what thousands of Phoenix area men are doing by going to gamedaymen's health.com and schedule your complimentary appointment. You got to get back in the game with Game Day Men's Health.