02-25-25 - FULL SHOW - TUESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona | Episode: 02-25-25

Release Date: February 25, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogan, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Broadcasted On: 98 KUPD (97.9 FM), 98KUPD App, www.98kupd.com
Air Time: Weekdays 5:30 AM - 10:00 AM

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1. Kelly Tedford's Produce Vandalism Saga

The episode kicks off with an engaging discussion about a troubling incident involving Kelly Tedford, a 23-year-old from New Hampshire, who has been repeatedly vandalizing produce sections in grocery stores by urinating on vegetables. This behavior has led to significant financial losses for retailers.

• John Holmberg [02:12]: "She was pissing all over the produce. So they had to pull fifteen hundred dollars of vegetables."

• Brady Bogan [02:59]: "And she times it where no one else sees her."

Holmberg elaborates on the ongoing challenge law enforcement faces in apprehending Tedford, noting that despite numerous reports since 2021, she managed to evade capture for four years. The hosts express their frustration with the situation and debate potential preventive measures, such as stricter sanitation protocols and surveillance in produce aisles.

2. Inheritance Laws and Divorce in Arizona

A significant portion of the discussion centers around listener emails concerning inheritance during divorce proceedings in Arizona. The hosts delve into the complexities of what constitutes separate versus community property, emphasizing the importance of keeping inheritances separate to avoid them being subject to division.

• John Holmberg [35:49]: "If you've got an inheritance coming in and the person who got the inheritance says, I'm going to start my own account, they're walking away from you."

• Brett Vesely [89:33]: "We've been doing that since day one."

Holmberg advises listeners on best practices for protecting inheritances in marriage, such as maintaining separate accounts and considering prenuptial agreements. He underscores the potential financial repercussions of commingling assets, which can lead to significant losses during divorce settlements.

3. Navigating Social Interactions and Personal Anecdotes

The hosts share personal stories and reflections on social interactions, particularly focusing on experiences during flights and public events. Holmberg recounts encounters with strangers on long-haul flights, including instances where passengers faced medical emergencies.

• John Holmberg [26:38]: "Nobody's allowed out of their seats. So she was in the aisle for a minute, and then they popped. They got her back up for a minute, but then they had to lay her down again."

These anecdotes serve as a springboard for broader conversations about societal behaviors, personal boundaries, and the challenges of maintaining composure in unexpected situations.

4. Media Critique: Alec Baldwin and Political Satire

A heated segment arises around Alec Baldwin's portrayal of Donald Trump on "Saturday Night Live" (SNL) and a subsequent real-life confrontation that escalated beyond comedic boundaries. The hosts critique the shift from satirical humor to aggressive personal attacks, debating the impact on public perception and political discourse.

• John Holmberg [60:58]: "Alec Baldwin was flat mean. It wasn't funny to anyone who was like, in the middle or on one side. It was specifically designed for people on that side, period."

• Brady Bogan [63:24]: "A lot more in court."

Holmberg reflects on the consequences of crossing the line between satire and personal vendetta, suggesting that such actions contribute to increased political tribalism and diminished comedic value. The conversation highlights the delicate balance entertainers must maintain when engaging in political satire.

5. Music and Entertainment Highlights

Throughout the episode, the hosts discuss various music releases, concerts, and entertainment news, offering their personal takes and recommendations.

• Brett Vesely [86:13]: "Bullet Boys. Smooth up in you for all the federal workers right now."

• John Holmberg [87:36]: "Saliva, sex, drugs and rock and roll for our dead uncle, lottery winner, Wesley."

They touch upon classic rock anniversaries, new album releases, and upcoming concerts, weaving these topics seamlessly into their broader conversations.

6. Closing Remarks and Community Engagement

As the show wraps up, the hosts acknowledge listener contributions, promote local events, and express gratitude towards community projects.

• John Holmberg [113:53]: "I have to say, guys, I have to tell the lay in on a little something. I'm being... being named pretty much man of all Time."

Holmberg humorously discusses an honor he received from the Arizona Pet Project, emphasizing the importance of supporting local charities and community efforts. The segment underscores the show's commitment to fostering a sense of community and encouraging listener participation in meaningful causes.

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Notable Takeaways:

• Community and Responsibility: The hosts emphasize the importance of community involvement and personal responsibility, whether discussing the prevention of store vandalism or safeguarding personal assets during marriage.

• Balancing Humor and Seriousness: "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" adeptly navigates between light-hearted banter and serious discussions, providing listeners with both entertainment and valuable insights.

• Engagement with Current Events: The show remains relevant by addressing ongoing news stories, listener emails, and cultural phenomena, ensuring content that resonates with a broad audience.

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For more episodes and updates, visit www.98kupd.com or tune in to 98 KUPD (97.9 FM) daily from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Tuesday. It is 5:45. Hi there. My name's John. How are you? There's Brady, there's Brett, there's big Dick Toledo. That's it's the morning sickness and off and running. Another perfect day in paradise as we cruise right through a glorious spring. And the baseball games are tempting when it's this nice this early. Oh my God, is it nice out. So roll on over there, get yourself take a day off. Take the day off.

[Brady Bogan]

It's a good idea.

[John Holmberg]

My permission? Why, why bother answering your elon emails all day long when you could just take the day off and not do anything? It's what everybody else has been doing for years. Why not you? So it's a perfect, perfect day for that. And I'm guessing on a Tuesday before all the visitors are here, I don't think they're. He can start hitting those games before it gets real weird. Couple weeks from now though, if the weather stays like this, those winter visitors are gonna be brutal and you got.

[Brady Bogan]

Local spring breaks kicking in.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's. Wow, we're doomed. We're doomed if it stays nice. My hope is we locals get these next two weeks of mid spring early and then in a couple weeks it just rains for three weeks and all those Buffalo, Philadelphia, Rochester people come out. Wasn't very nice when I was there.

[Brett]

Make you feel at home.

[John Holmberg]

Make you, make you feel like you guys brought it with you. Thank you very I saw a story last night. Some lady in New Hampshire was pissing all over the produce at a grocery store. Like she was like, I don't know how you do it when you're a.

[Brady Bogan]

Girl climbing up on the.

[John Holmberg]

No, no. You think that she's doing a lean back rainbow. And then so I'm like Jesus Christ, that's some. I know. But still, I was more impressed than I was mad. But the. She's peeing all over the produce. So they had to pull fifteen hundred dollars of vegetables. That's like she was. That's a lot of vegetables. $1,500. And then they pull it out. And then the cop on the news said. And nobody even followed up. The news is so bad at their job. They've been after her since 2021. She's been doing this for four years. And they can't. Like, if I was at the grocery store and I knew you peed on something to the point where I called the police, I would see you again. You would be. There she is. That's the girl that pees on stuff.

[Brady Bogan]

And she times it where no one else sees her.

[John Holmberg]

Emine. Apparently not, because they've been after her for four years. But she's going in four years. Four years.

[Brett]

Oh, I thought this was a one off.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, no. Since 2021. Oh my God. She went in and pissed on it. And they said, we've been looking for her since 2021. Any questions? And the media in New Hampshire's like, nope, that's up. That's good for us. Like, what have you guys been eating? That means that she got away with it a few times.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that means that a few times she got spotted since 2021. And a few times she's rolling in and she's doing it. And you ate the.

[Brady Bogan]

Hopefully they rinsed it off.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe that's why. I think that's the true reason why your parents always said rinse off the stuff, the fruits. Because deep down we all know humans are gross. And anything that's on mass display, that's eaten as is. Like that vegetable aisle to me is as bad as a potluck, you know, I know Brady hates it too, for other reasons, but it is just an absolute nightmare to look at that.

[Brady Bogan]

I like going by there every now and then the fake thunder and the mysteries go off.

[John Holmberg]

Feel like you're shopping with a little risk and then you head back over to where the real food is. I can't do it. I can't. Like sprouts has all those like boxes of just out food. Out is for me. It's just like, well. And people are like, oh, you're paranoid. I'm like, well, there you go. My paranoia comes to fruition with people who. She'd break out the. I'm imagining she did the two finger, the split finger fastball. I Call it where you pull up both ends of the. And then you. You aim the urethra up nice, and she shoots the Bellagio rainbow right onto the produce. And evidently fifteen hundred dollars. So she's walking and doing this at the same time. And you talk about a thunder and a rain shower. That's awesome skill. That's impressive. So she's pissing all over the produce. Makes me think. And. Yeah, to be able to get away with it for four years before they finally nabbed her.

[Brett]

What she looked like?

[John Holmberg]

Didn't get a picture. No picture. I looked last night. I was. I searched it out after, and then she's on the. She's on. She's even on AZ Central and AZ family. But yeah, she's. According to. She's 23. She's been doing this since she was 19. Her name is Kelly Tedford. They said they've lost 1500 merchandise and cleaning costs. So I guess it wasn't just all merchants. They got to clean up. You got it. You got to take all that out, clean the bin that your cucumbers were in and then put a whole new batch in there.

[Brady Bogan]

So she's going to the same place.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Brady Bogan]

Maybe that was the one that was.

[John Holmberg]

The last time through. Just fifteen hundred dollars worth of new total, four years. If you walk by over at the grocery store and just start hosing as you walk, every one of those bins has to be emptied and cleaned. Every one of us.

[Brett]

A woman after Brady's own heart vegetables.

[John Holmberg]

Ew. I piss on you. I've been dreaming of doing that for the longest time.

[Brett]

Founder, did you. Hang on.

[John Holmberg]

What? You look like Kelly Tedford, 23. How are you that angry at 23? I bet she's. I'm gonna. I'm gonna guess. Well, she's methy, probably. Maybe fat. Well, she's. She's on the way to being a big factor. She looks like Paul McCartney, she said. Is that what New Hampshire looks like?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Really?

[John Holmberg]

White is all I know. What am I seeing?

[Brady Bogan]

That's Paul McCartney looking.

[John Holmberg]

Paul McCartney white, all right. Sunken in, Droopy, fat, sad face.

[Brady Bogan]

It's cloudy.

[John Holmberg]

I can't imagine being 23 and that upset at society to piss on the food. What are we eating? What do we eat on a regular basis? I mean, we got rfk. We're worried about, you know, things that we put in the food. What are we eating? That's just. Every time I go by, whenever the grocery store is full and you go into that. That section you see just manhandling. I'M like, oh, the booger hands. The ladies that just got done fiddling the bean. The dude that didn't clean himself.

[Brett]

We've seen videos like that one that went into the dressing room with the cucumbers.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but. Oh, that's right. She went in and stuffed it in. Try to put it back. And what are we eating? But we got it. You know what? We lock up deodorant, we lock up all that. I don't think anybody be too upset if we unlocked the deodorant, we unlocked the razors, and we locked up the produce or at least bagged it, you know, I know I'll pay an extra 25 cents per bag, per pound of just to not have stuff out. Oh, you can't trust people like that. Free for all people.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, imagine the double whammy you're getting delivered. It's going through multiple hands.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I can't even. I don't. I would never have produce, like, handled by another person that I don't know. So gross. People are just disgusting. You're all gross.

[Brett]

She hates these vegetables.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. And then what? What else has she gotten?

[Brett]

But again, she's on her way to being a pig, though.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, she is.

[Brett]

She hasn't eaten too many vegetables lately.

[John Holmberg]

No, she's got big casts because she's hauling around too much upper body. Yeah, that's not good. Yeah, she's one of those girls that currently at 23, is proud of her leg muscles, but she doesn't realize she only has them because she's hauling around that big gut. Yuck. Look at the FUPA on that broad. And no wonder she's angry. She probably has a hot sister that gets all the attention.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh yeah, that's how they roll in West Mifflin.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'll tell you right now, this one, this one is. She looks like somebody that would piss on a vegetable plate.

[Brady Bogan]

She attacked the potatoes that day at the Walmart.

[John Holmberg]

She is. Oof. Not huge, but she's definitely gonna. She's gonna be on one of those 600 pound sisters.

[Brett]

She would just like stand in front of him and just. Bruce Suter, get the split finger. I mean, what the original story.

[John Holmberg]

I said that's what I think she thinks she was throwing that. She was throwing the pop outs. The fork ball. She dropped it and we're all picturing it. The two fingers on each, on each side, lift up. We've seen it in porn, you and I. When the girl leans back, pulls it up, evidently there's some sort of a flap I don't understand anatomy. And it leaves and it. But yeah, they've been looking for. Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

She's never.

[John Holmberg]

That's her.

[Brett]

No, no, that's somebody else. All these other broads have never been in the vegetable department.

[John Holmberg]

I don't even have a vegetable department if that's what they're interviewing. And it was at the Walmart? Yeah, I thought they said it was at a small store.

[Brett]

That's. Well, this. This. This is like one of the original articles, I guess.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. So this is when they got her from before. So they finally choose to.

[Brady Bogan]

Ruined our potatoes.

[John Holmberg]

The cereal pisser. Why are you on the potatoes?

[Brady Bogan]

That's what she said.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, is that all? Did good research. You got. Yeah.

[Brett]

Off the Irish.

[John Holmberg]

You got the. The details of which foods were tainted. Eats Irish anyway, so. I don't know, maybe. I mean, we have a sneeze guard over salad bars at dumpy restaurants. The Sizzler used to think, well, people might snot or dribble out their nose. I watched a guy. This is years ago at the grocery store and it was around March and whatever and just dripped was hanging off the end of his nose. And he would catch it with his hand. He'd wipe his drips off his nose. But he's snot and he's looking over carrots. And I'm just watching him like, you're not getting all that. Nobody can keep an eye on this. And plus, your hands are now just. You cannot trust. You know what we need? We need some sort of a vegetable sommelier or a. No, no, no. Don't touch it. I'll get that for you, sir. And then somebody with gloves up to their elbows like we're artificially inseminating a cow goes over and how many do you need? Pick them out. We wouldn't allow it with the meat. You have to ask a guy with the meat. Can we have some sort of vegetable butcher?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. Pull it out of the cabinet.

[John Holmberg]

That somebody stands behind the back. And you've got. I'll take 10 of those and three of those. Which ones do you want? They'll even ask you that. Which. Like, if it's butcher meat. They're like, which ones you get to pick still. Let's get a couple vegetable butchers in there. Do you want these chopped? It's a nice service. It's actually not a bad idea. And plus, it keeps the general public's distraction. Disgusting. Paws off of everything New Hampshire.

[Brett]

They'd be wearing those outbreak suits and everything.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. It just be gonna piss all over the veg.

[Brady Bogan]

And that's a. That's the problem. They try to, you know, wrap it. Because if you picking up the meat, you have to go to the frozen or the refrigerator. It's packaged.

[John Holmberg]

Go on.

[Brady Bogan]

You can pick that. You can't package a lot of fresh vegetables won't last long.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm talking about packaging. You know what I'm saying? Like the fresh butcher, you have the window. Pick which ones you want. Who cares about freezing it? Just go get it.

[Brady Bogan]

Well, it's not in the freezing part. It's just saying to have a person and serve the vegetables.

[John Holmberg]

Why?

[Brady Bogan]

It'd be like the. Going to the. Sometimes going to the counter. If you go to the meat counter, I'm talking about, wait your turn.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Okay.

[Brady Bogan]

They don't have time.

[John Holmberg]

What would you rather have snotty mcdrippy nose hanging over the things? Because you can have your.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll rinse that off.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, good for you. You won't. A. A. First off, you won't buy it. Second, don't. Don't put yourself. You're out of this conversation. Leave it to us veg eaters.

[Brady Bogan]

I bought some fruit and vegetables yesterday.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah? We going to a show? You wanted to throw some stuff.

[Brett]

He's going to a Gallagher concert.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna leave it? Yeah. Do this one next. Gallagher.

[Brady Bogan]

They do have a couple of melons up, but they're tiny.

[John Holmberg]

I bought you a cantaloupe. Yeah, okay. Sure you did. Anyway, liar. Brett, you and I, when we talk about vegetables, would you rather you'd pay the extra? Just have it or take some time?

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Place your order in for your veg. Yeah, yeah.

[Brett]

You said veg, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, your veg. It's disgusting. Just making sure people are gross. You should. That's the reason why, I guarantee you, the reason why. Back in the old days when food used to be out, it got to the point where you're like, hey, everybody's getting sick of your pissy, dirty hands on it. So they had to package everything. Everybody had to go to a box.

[Brady Bogan]

Couple of scoops of oats.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And then after. Yeah, you just go and get it yourself. I got it myself. And that was when people were filthy. And they're like, we gotta put these in bags. And then over time, what do we have to do? Seal it. Okay. The seal, stubborn. Then you have to do safety seals and double packaging. And it's because of us. It's not because of. You know, you don't think of why. What necessitated all of these boxes and plastic wraps and everything else. Us. We used to be trusted. Go over and grab your own meat. And then you started. Wash your hands. God damn it, Jebediah. Wash your goddamn hands are in here with your snot nose again. I can't help but I got allergies and ain't invented any Benadryl yet. We got to put a cover over that. This is disgusting. There was one John Holmberg back there going, guys, I'm telling you, eventually we're gonna have to cover all this up. Yeah, you're paranoid, okay? You'll see. Spanish flu comes up in 1920. We gotta cover up all the vegetables like that Homeburg guy's been bitching about forever. Cut to 2020. We gotta stop all potlucks and most buffets because, like, that Homeburg guy's been bitching about the whole time. He was right.

[Brett]

It only covered up the wet markets back in 2019. We'd been fine.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just gonna rest on that. Would you eat at a wet market? Because that's how it used to be. Absolutely. Why not? Why not?

[Brady Bogan]

It sounds so delicious.

[John Holmberg]

People wander. You see those Indian bazaars. Like, who would eat it all?

[Brett]

The flies.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Brady Bogan]

They've been eating it for years.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. And it doesn't hurt from their procreate to make more people to go piss and poo all over the veg. Anyway. Just saying. Everybody laughed and scoffed at old Johnny back in 2017. 18. All my whole life with buffets and public foods and potlucks at work and you're nuts. That's stupid. 2020. First thing we have to do is shut down potlucks. No potlucks. First thing. When Covid happened. First thing, no potlucks. Don't you dare bring food from home. Second thing, buffets. Vegas was like, what? Shut them down. Not only shut them down. Reimage it. Rethink your whole buffet room and build something new. And they did. Vegas used to be known for the buffet. That whole thing at the Aria now is just like a food court where their huge buffet used to be. And it's better.

[Brett]

The Rio had like, one the size of this building, that buffet.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and the people in it.

[Brett]

There's the Rio.

[John Holmberg]

You know what the most disgusting sign is? I'd rather say, stick your head inside the ass of a homeless man on a marquee. I'd rather see that before buffet 599 because it's dirtier. The helmets man's ass is cleaner than buffet599's crowd. Yuck. All you can eat buffet599. I can eat all of it. All right, we go to live pages and they go wandering in there and barfing all over themselves from the night.

[Brady Bogan]

You don't gain weight because you release it two hours later.

[John Holmberg]

Throwing up the whole time from drinking the night before and fingering that sister wife of theirs. Then going and touching all the buffet food.

[Brett]

Getting a little napkin and putting some Salisbury steak in to take back to the room for later.

[John Holmberg]

All right, I'm gonna have me some scallops and some lobster and over here some skitty and some pizza pie, Maybe a prime rib. I sneezed out a lot of that cunnilingus from my face last night. Yeah, all wadded up. I ain't taking a bath. Yuck. So I saw that story last night. My arms went in the air. Now, I know it's not all of us, but it doesn't take all of us. We flip the F out over a Gilbert Goon. You know, the whole city had to shut down. Everybody freaked out that all the kids were bad because one went sideways. We get one lady pissing on food and people are like, come on, dude.

[Brady Bogan]

Not that big a deal.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, it is. It's a huge deal because that's, that's just the extreme versions of exposed food.

[Brady Bogan]

They only do that in New Hampshire.

[John Holmberg]

They only caught a guy in New Hampshire. 23 year old woman. How bad has life gotten? You're 23. Like, I'm gonna piss on produce. And she started when she was like 18. As far as we know, she might have been doing it years ago. And you know, she's gone in there with what looked to be like a. I know nobody would have believed it built, judging by her size, but probably one of those workout thermoses. Nothing funnier than one of those pigs and Lululemons walking around in a thermos like she just got back from life. Really? She needs the workout pants and the fat girl thermos for the walk from the car into the Walmart so she can go buy more junk. But you know, she was probably pouring something hydrated, pouring it on there. And. And I don't want to hear from the people who email. It just makes your immune system stronger. No, it doesn't, or it would be allowed. That's a terrible argument. Her immune system needs that stranger pissed. It does, yeah. The more you're exposed to it, the less sick you can get. Really? Is that the official line of the health community? More people piss and will feel better about it and I don't think so.

[Brett]

When you think about it, this is only one broad that got caught doing.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you.

[Brett]

How many other times that's making.

[John Holmberg]

Brett's making my points for me today.

[Brady Bogan]

You've eaten a lot of urine.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

A lot of urine. I've said this before, and I. And that's the only time I actually hope Brady's right, and there's some sort of afterlife where you get to sit down with some. It's like a guidance counselor. Mine was Mr. Garabay, I believe was his name. And I'm like, he got mad at me because I told him. I go, why don't I listen to a guy making $33,000 a year on how to live a life?

[Brett]

But he gets summers off because he.

[John Holmberg]

Was kind of a dick to me. And he sort of told me, you know what? It's my passion, and I get a lot of time off. I'm like, oh, well, I don't want that, because I'm pulling down 21 right now at Tony Roma's. So I'm right on your heels there, jackass. You don't need to start telling me how life. I was kind of a dick to him. We weren't good friends. He was always calling me and telling me about how I need to get. In fact, it was so bad, my guidance counselor dropped me for another one. I wasn't too mouthy, but he got. He got judgy with me that I was never going to mount to anything. And I certainly didn't like hearing that. I like you.

[Brady Bogan]

I like when that was a challenge.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I like when you count me out. So challenge accepted. And I just. And I literally. All over his life, I gave him better guidance because I think I just don't want that homebrewed kid anymore. I was. I was putting a mirror up, you know, you're never gonna amount to anything. That's rich. What do you mean? Coming from you, I'm not gonna amount to anything. Neither are you. That's not fair, John. Well, you're the one judging me. I don't have to thank him. I was heading the right direction. I wasn't going to.

[Brady Bogan]

He put you right.

[John Holmberg]

He didn't put me anything. Oh, no. My dad got you inspired? No, I was gonna leave school. I was literally in the middle of high school. Thought, I can do without this. I was Richard Branson without all the ambition. I'll leave school and go work at Tony Roman.

[Brett]

So you thought of Dan Holmberg in.

[John Holmberg]

The background until Dan said, oh, we're not gonna finish high school. You're gonna embarrass me. No, I don't want to do that. Well, then finish high school, and we'll talk. But, yeah, my guidance counselor started to tell me about how wasn't gonna amount to anything and stuff like that, but I kind of hope when we die, Brady's way happens. And there is this guidance counselor, and he sits down, he goes, you got any questions? I'm like, tell me all the stuff I've eaten that I shouldn't have eaten. And I'm not talking about health. I'm talking about things that went into my body that I didn't know I ate. And then what happens? I remember that time in Vegas you got really sick and you thought it was the scallops. Yeah. It wasn't. You were playing a slot machine. The guy before you was picking his nose and had a big. Remember Brett?

[Brett]

Oh, snot rag guy.

[John Holmberg]

Not rag guy. Casino. And he pulled out a big red honker, and it was wrapped. The toilet paper wad he had stuffed in. And what did he do? Just turned it over to the clean side and stuffed it right back in. So now the red wads hanging out, and his hand went right back to that slot.

[Brett]

I think I still got a picture.

[Brady Bogan]

Big numbers.

[John Holmberg]

Big numbers. And I won eight grand sitting next to him, and I didn't want it. I wanted, you keep this and go wash your face. He was straight out of a wet market. But, I mean, on a countless amount of times, I would ask Brady's heavenly guidance counselor that, you know, I've seen your whole life. I know exactly what it's been like. How many times did I eat stranger boogers? Oh, my God. Pizza. I remember one time.

[Brady Bogan]

That's not true. Why your scenario if we get that? Because that scroll of mine will be so long.

[John Holmberg]

The things you've eaten. Filth. And you just powered through.

[Brady Bogan]

And then there's this one time.

[Brett]

Well, the potato chips that you always talk about with Kirby and the clinger around.

[John Holmberg]

Literally. Brett, not kidding. No lie. Almost. Almost happened. Stomach just went. That was Kirby chips. No, we're not cutening that up. That was the grossest thing I've ever seen. And then that big cooler of sandwiches, and all I had to do because I knew Kirby's in charge of Brady's house back even then when she was, like, five. Brady. Who made the sandwiches here?

[Brady Bogan]

I did.

[John Holmberg]

Did you get any help from that Kirby Durbs? Yeah, she handled the bread. All right. We're eating at a restaurant, and the glory of it was the non confrontational makeup of everyone there in the Bogan household. Was finally met with a little pushback. And your brother in law walked over to thank me like I'd solved some of the world's hunger.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a great idea.

[John Holmberg]

No, nobody. Oh, come on. It's just. I'm looking at Kirby spinning that big booger basketball on her index finger and putting her hand right back into that bag of what said family chips. But nope, it was Kirby. And that's it. It should have just said Kirby because her family said she could have these chips. Whole humongous bag of chips, hugging it like it was grim death on an old lady. Hand going in, finger went right in that nose, pulled that giant green. It was neon. And it's sat barbecue. It sat on top of her finger like, I can't even explain it.

[Brady Bogan]

It looked like a ice cream.

[John Holmberg]

It looked like a lime lollipop. It was just a big ball. It looked like that thing at the. In New York where they had the World Trade, where they do the US Open and Queens.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Those two sticks at the end of Men in Black. They climb those jigs. Big circle on the end of it. She's looking right at me like, hey, mother, these chips are mine. Hand goes right back in the bag with booger attached. Goes right into her mouth. Looks at me like, yeah. And I'm like, that's it. And your brother in law saw it. Oh God. Oh God. I'm like, sewer, you're a lawyer. And then I, I put a stop to anybody eating all that work that Brady put into the food because he let the kid help. Which is why you should never have potlucks at your work. You don't know when the kids help. You don't know what, what kind of situation they've got with cats walking on countertops. You don't know if they've got like. You know. There was a cute girl at my work at Tony Roma's who I thought she was great. Her name was Sarah. She was super sweet and like, she'd do stuff and you never question that she'd make cookies and things. Like, hey guys, I made cookies and I didn't eat them because I was always been like, meh, stranger danger. But I thought she would be one. That if I did eat somebody's cookies, it would be hers. Took her home one night after work. All right. Well, until I went inside and she had eight ferrets and her house smelled like a box. It was this.

[Brett]

Ferrets are the worst too.

[John Holmberg]

Sometimes I had it in the fridge. You can't get them. Do you ever clean it? Clean this place. Then I realized, never eat anything brought from somebody's house. Because she was the ultimate display of cute and clean. Until you went to her pad. Gross.

[Brett]

This guy had another. This guy had an experience like you with the kids with Kirby, but similar situation.

[Brady Bogan]

Give me his name and number.

[John Holmberg]

Dudes. Over the weekend, my lady and I went to a child's birthday party. Okay, problem number one. Eat on the way. I suggested we get some food before we went. Okay. Secretly. Because I didn't want to try any food at this party. Well, as we were there, I watched some ugly little effort, probably four or five, dig into his nose. Wrangle a stringer. Wrangler. Stringer is a great song. I haven't got the band name yet. Went and hid under the food table and proceeded to just chow down on it. Then jumps out and start grabbing goods off the table. Effing. Gnarly. Good use of gnarly. Haven't seen that in a while. And spelled properly, Cameron Flansburg. Cameron, you and I are actually wearing.

[Brett]

The proper shirt today for the band.

[John Holmberg]

You got snot on. It is just. It's gross. Kids are the worst. Remember we. We hadn't had our immune system fired up there by children. And we went over 20 something years ago. It had to be close to that to Frank Caliendo. And was it Caliendo or was it Toledo's kid's birthday at that Peter Piper? We thought we were gonna have the time of our lives. Everyone ended up almost dead. I mean, I think Toledo's kid got whooping cough and we all ended up with diseases that were from touching all the stuff at the Piper or Chuck E. Cheese or wherever we went. Yeah, bad. And you're like, of course I don't expose myself to this anymore.

[Brett]

Nor should I Got a poet when the. Where the boogers are green and the goons are mean in Gilbert.

[John Holmberg]

Gilbert. Oh, Kirby. I just half expected here and that. Spinning that ball on her finger. I'm like, oh my God, that's the biggest booger I've seen come out of a kid's face ever. And that particular day, because it was winter, it was a little cold. She had that kid crust on her nose. That goo.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Those little cess bags of gross. Anyway, the lady pissing on the veg up there in New Hampshire and you just know that she ain't the only one. And I'm less worried about a lady pissing on the vegetables Than I am the dude who just bathed his ferrets and whatever it is that and didn't wash his hands. And he goes and picks up the carrots and stuff. All right, everybody. Just want to thank Drew and John for driving us up here to sedona. Kirby, get out that bag of family style barbecue. Get your hand out of there. Kirby, don't do no. Kirby. Oh, God. All right. Anyway, just eat around where her hands. She gets small hands. She hasn't touched all the chips. We're going to a restaurant. John's crazy. He thinks we're gonna not eat all these sandwiches that I made. Who helped with those? Me and the beautiful curviderms. We're going to a restaurant.

[Brady Bogan]

Lay's hickory barbecue. Ch.

[Brett]

You still remember?

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it was because it was ruined for him, too. Deep down, he was kind of happy with me calling her out, too. That whole family was gonna let that slide. I'm standing next to your dad. We're family, jv. And I forget who else was with us. Was Charlie there? I think Charlie.

[Brady Bogan]

No, Charlie wasn't.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, he wasn't there. But anyway, it was. Oh, Drew. Drew. The other jeep driver was there, and we all saw it, and we're like. And Drew. Drew just said. Best thing I ever heard Drew ever say for all things holy. It was exactly what he said to me. And I'm like, I see it. Oh, Kirby, the boobs. Yeah, there's been a few times where you just can't trust people in their home stuff. You can't. And Kirby's over there spinning meadowlark. Lemon comes over, goes, God damn, girl. You need to get you a job with us. Here's some shoe polish. Follow me. It was a different time. Yeah.

[Brett]

You can do it then.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This was 16 years ago. It was a long time ago.

[Brady Bogan]

We missed him there. He's here last weekend.

[John Holmberg]

Globetrotters were here on Saturday. Anyway, another girl that was smoking hot at Tony Romas. Everybody wanted a piece of her until my friend James went to her apartment to grab something and saw her underwear on the floor. And there was something in there that looked like. Kirby had it on her finger earlier. He. He took a picture of it before we had phone pics. It was neon green. Don't know what that was, but she was taken off the short list and put on a very, very long list of things I won't touch. Anyway, just be careful. And I don't know if you're with me or not, but the next pandemic that shows up when it's manufactured by China to try to make Donald Trump's presidency no good. Then we go in through this again. They're going to close up the produce section. There's going to be. There's going to be shields up on the produce section before I'm dead. Produce will be something. You have to ask somebody.

[Brady Bogan]

Can I get a carrot? Yeah, let me get the keys.

[John Holmberg]

And a couple. You get some veg. Oh, get my supervisor. We have to unlock it at the same time. Like nuclear codes.

[Brett]

It's like War Games.

[John Holmberg]

Three, two. EXO has the comm. Carrots are a go. Now put your suit on before you grab those carrots. Yuck. Anyway, happy Tuesday morning to you, everybody.

[Brett]

Good morning.

[John Holmberg]

Good morning. And Brady's right, even though he's only seen it on tv. Rinse your vegetables. Don't just go pounding those things. Apples. I watched a produce guy stacking apples and he went under the apple thing where apples had fallen off and rolled. And he crawled around underneath the thing, put them right back up there. They were on the floor a second ago. Like, dirty ass floor. Underneath, by that drain. Putting them back up, making the pyramid. And I'm like, those honey crisps were just. You're not going to rinse those off. Every half hour there's a thunderstorm. Oh, my God.

[Brett]

Goddamn thunderstorms.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they think that's cleaning.

[Brett]

Yeah. And of course, as soon as you reach for something, the damn thing starts going off.

[Brady Bogan]

So.

[Brett]

Great, thanks.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that better be some Silkwood solution, too, because there's nothing on this.

[Brady Bogan]

You're like, get off my parsley.

[John Holmberg]

Disgusting. Disgusting people. Gross. All right, let's get a wake up song. 585-9800. A good one and we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. Hey.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool.

[Brady Bogan]

Membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. There you go. Thank you, Katie and the Hobs. That's miles to nowhere right there. And rolling through. A lot of people emailing in about. Just got a weird email from a guy Junior says. Who runs your morning show and says what will happen each day? That's a. Jeez, what are you writing a book? That's one of those. A couple questions for you now. Who runs your morning show and says what's going to happen each day? I'm always fascinated. People think that this is some sort of a plot, like there's some sort of all right, here's what we're gonna do next, boys. No idea how to do this otherwise. I know there are shows who do that, but Larry told me he was, he was in a little meeting or something and they talked about how it works at the other stations for mornings. And he just, he's shaking his head. He goes, I don't, I don't know what you're doing. And I'm like, neither do I. And he goes like all these other things, like they just, he said that the Beth show, he had to listen to the end of that for a minute. So they just leave. They don't even like say goodbye. It's like it's all pre taped, like, like it just seemed like the show was just over. And the next thing you know, hey, It's Hoochie Boy, 10 o'clock. How you doing? Like some new guys there. And he's talking about like, I don't know how radio is supposed to work. I know I'm doing it wrong, but.

[Brett]

I know some of the shows are first hours, like taped.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah. And then we definitely.

[Brady Bogan]

Things are worked out sometimes the day before too.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. This is my fault and I apologize for dragging you guys along on my quest. This is how I think it works. I don't know what I'm doing. I've been saying that for 25 years.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm just trying to play along.

[John Holmberg]

I appreciate you getting up as early as and just saying, never once going, shouldn't we tape more and leave at 8 like everyone else? I don't know. I think this is all I know. So when JR asked the question, who runs your morning show and says, what's going to happen each day? It's my biggest fear coming to life through email, which is the imposter complex. J.R. is the one that's gonna walk in the door, go, I've been listening to you for a while now. You have no idea what you're doing, do you? No, not at all. It shows. And then he points out all the things I've done wrong and then exposes me for the fraud that I actually am. It's everybody's imposter complex there come to life when you get a simple email like that junior subject line show. Who runs your morning show and says what's gonna happen each day? Nobody.

[Brady Bogan]

The Wizard.

[John Holmberg]

Guess.

[Brett]

Me?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Nobody. No.

[Brett]

Pay attention to the guy behind the ground.

[John Holmberg]

I just kind of go, I pay attention to a lot of stuff days before and stuff always emailed back, good Lord, badass. Oh, thank God. He said he's a decent human being. So just wondering if you had creative freedom and not having consultants telling you what's your. Oh, Junior. Yes. No, there are. I refused consultants about four contracts ago. I'm like, I will never sit in a room with somebody who's failed at this 10 times harder. It's the same thing I had with my guidance counselor at Dobson. I want some dude who sits there and tells me, when I was working in Kansas City, I was working in Abilene, I was working in, you know, Fort Myers. Like, you've had a lot of jobs. You sure have. I've only had one. I think I'm. I think I should be consulting you. No, no, no. I know what I'm doing. I've been around the block. You've been fired 18 times. You're terrible at this. Any other job, you get fired that often, you're terrible at it. The only other place you can actually get fired and rehired more is the NFL coaching. Otherwise, radio is just a bunch of failures that keep bouncing from. Luckily, cities don't care. He's been. They look at it as a badge of honor. So. Yes. Thank you, J.R. the question is, we have creative freedom. I don't know. I guess that's what you call it.

[Brady Bogan]

Pretty much.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty much. We do what we want to do, but it's not, you know, we're trusted. I'll say that we're trusted. Not to wreck things so far, but don't go with these, you know, vagaries on their emails make me feel like you're the one that's gonna wander through the door and let me know it's over. A couple more years, that's all I got here. People emailing about their booger stories. I'm not interested in any of that. Since the booger never ending. Say, hey, John, I was on a cruise. The only one I ever went on or will go on. I don't understand those cruises where you take your kids thinking it's a family adventure and you're trapped on, like, a Disney. Those commercials for the Disney cruises. No, thank you. There's just children running all over dirty, and they're like, try a buffet. I'm like, do the kids get to go to that? Yeah. No way. Try a rock climbing wall. How often is it disinfected? Like every 10 minutes.

[Brady Bogan]

Live in our floating RV.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. It's a recreational vehicle of hillbillies within a. You know, the outskirts has, like, the back end and the captain's course. Pretty nice rooms. So of the 4,000 other people on your vacation, 120 of them are decent folk.

[Brett]

Well, think about all the booger hands.

[John Holmberg]

All over every rail and the staircase.

[Brett]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Brady Bogan]

That's why they're constantly holding rags.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the pool is more pissed than it is anyway. It says, went to breakfast buffet on the cruise and watched a 7 year old kid, shorter than me, shorter than the sneeze guard, let one rip and spray snot all over the scrambled eggs. And that was it for me. It was one of those sneezes where it all comes out and then hangs off his face. Cruises might be the most disgusting cesspool if humanity once. That's why you got to go to those. You got to spend the extra and do one of those river cruises. Even still you're dealing with people that are.

[Brady Bogan]

My parents did that.

[John Holmberg]

And yeah, they look nice.

[Brady Bogan]

They were.

[John Holmberg]

You don't go on. It's way better than the all family ones. If your kid's allowed on it, don't go. Because I'll tell you this, no one wants to see your kid and certainly no one wants multiple children. Go on. The one I went on in Alaska, it had that convention of midgets which was the greatest thing in the world. It was like having kids on the thing, but they were all adults, they couldn't even reach the buffet. This one says, john, I know you'll agree with us. Yesterday I went to happy hour with a guy from work. We're having a couple of beers, join ourselves unwinding. Suddenly he pulls out his phone, shows a video of his kid digging a hole or something kids do and shows it to me. I was completely not interested. Then to the bartender and he's like, isn't it amazing? I just rolled my eyes. Then the goddamn bartender pulls out a video of her two kids showing a reaction from them when she tells them she's pregnant with another. Then they both say, oh, this is great. Then another one rolls over, waitress shows a video of her stupid kid doing something else. I'm in a bar. There should be a rule. There should be a rule that if a kid's not allowed in, pictures of them are also not allowed. You're there to get away from kids. There's a specific rule. We serve drinks to keep kids away. It's like having a little force field of no children. You can't go to a bar and a happy hour. You know what they never call anything with children happy? Blank. It's not a thing. They don't have like, hey, let's go to kids happy hour. It's the worst sounding thing in the world.

[Brady Bogan]

Kamikazes with the kiddos.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing happy about it. If kids are allowed there. The word happy fell off a long time ago. Happy hours for adults to not be around their kids. It's an hour of the day. You get to be an adult. This is a good one here. Check this out. Says, hey, guys, I just want to let you know I'm out. No more. Homework's morning sickness for me. Don't get me wrong. I love this show, but if I wake up anytime before noon after the third of March, it's gonna be because I'm sick. I just inherited $1.8 million from my uncle. Like a Disney story. I'm leaving my wife. Oh. She's been making me unhappy for a long time, and I just haven't been financially ready to leave. But now I am, and I'm setting up shop in Phoenix. Maybe I'll see Jewburg down there at the ranch apartment or apatapity. Nice work. If you've paid attention to any of the more recent music. Bruno. It's Bruno Mars and Rose. It's been a fun ride, but my days of driving rideshare, busting my ass, and working for the man are over. I'm 44 years old. I did okay financially, but I didn't want the life I'd created. Now I'm gonna slay puss all day and do whatever I want. It's been real, boys. Thanks for being one of the very few bright spots in my miserable existence. Only four more days of being sad. West, man. Thanks for everything, Wesley. There you go. Congratulations, Wes. I'm glad your uncle's dead. Good for you. So is he. Yeah. That's pretty great. A million 8, 44 years old has.

[Brady Bogan]

A little coming into it, you know, whatever. He's done, all right.

[John Holmberg]

Let's just say he's pulled half a. Half a million into this. He's hanging around. Two million? Yeah. Be broke by the time he's 50. And by the way, you got that inheritance you haven't started of the divorce process. Guess what? She's getting some of that half. Thank you. Ed McMahon. That's right. Shoot.

[Brady Bogan]

No, I think you got to. As long as it's not if it's in a separate account. But no, they. It's. I think it's different on.

[John Holmberg]

On the inheritance that goes to that person. They don't. That's not part of the accumulation of what you had while you were Married?

[Brady Bogan]

Nope.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. I hope you're right. You've looked into this, Brady. I'm worried about you.

[Brett]

Take her on a van trip.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Buy a transit.

[Brett]

It worked in the past.

[John Holmberg]

Start driving around for a little while. Yeah, I hope Brady's right, but I would assume she's got a right to fight for it, that's for sure. Don't know how long you're married, but you're 44. Let's just put a 10 on that. Or a 5. 6. I'm not saying she's getting half. She's getting something. She's not gonna let you wander. And you better file those papers immediately so she doesn't get used to a certain lifestyle with this new money and then say, well, I can't go back now. I don't know what your situation is, Wes, but don't get too happy yet. And I love your idea, actually.

[Brett]

Go see a lawyer today immediately.

[John Holmberg]

Don't go emailing us. Sad West. Yeah. Scott says, be smart about this or you're going to be listening to this show by the end of the year. Again, Scott, you're right.

[Brett]

Welcome back.

[John Holmberg]

Let's welcome west back to the program. It's like when boxers have to fight again and they're like, geez, you're fat now. It's like, I just love the sport so much. I'm like, you're broke, aren't you? No, I love boxing too much to step away. Oh, you're retarded and you're poor. No, no, no. None of that been happening.

[Brady Bogan]

So tell me about this movie you're doing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I've invested in a racehorse. Oh, Christ. We'll see you in nove. I don't know about inheritance, Brady. I hope you're right. I'm worried. This one says in state of Arizona, you can't touch any inheritance in a divorce. I've learned the hard way. Oh. Donovan's chick got an inheritance in life. So when you get it. So that's why so many people get so excited about inheritance. They can finally ditch that loser and feel good about it and just walk away from everything. Ah. Ah, that's. I've been bitching about that for years. Listening to people going, my uncle dies, I get like a million dollars. I'm like, why are you so happy about your uncle dying? I see now. So you can get rid of that tub of goo you've been married to for a while. Ah, no, string. That's news to me. I have no idea. I still imagine there's a lawyer out There.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

This one says, as a proud owner of two divorces, Brady is absolutely effing wrong. So now we have the counter of it. Uh.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

Any income or we generated during the marriage is community property in this state. That's what I figured. But then Donovan says no, Brady says no, Jeremy says yes, and he's a proud owner of two divorces. I don't know.

[Brett]

Cordell and Cordell on the phone.

[John Holmberg]

You need the professionals on this one. Yeah, Our friends over at Learner and Row have a good divorce department.

[Brett]

Oh, really?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I didn't know.

[Brett]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

I thought we just go right to them. Go over to Kevin and Let's get Kevin in here. Talk to Kevin. I have to do stuff with him later today. I'll actually ask. I'll have. I'll have some answers for you tomorrow from the legal team.

[Brett]

Hey, he's got four more days to listen, so.

[John Holmberg]

That's true. He's got to hang out with us for the rest of the week. Why? Why not just quit today? What are you. Deep down, you know you might blow this money. You don't want to burn bridges at work?

[Brady Bogan]

Just quit.

[John Holmberg]

So, guys, I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to tell you all the off today. I'm not doing anything else. I'm leaving. But hey, congratulations. You're done. So this guy said he only gets 1.8 million from his uncle. We'll hear back from him in a month. He's gonna be gone in a month. It's not what you think it is. As far as you know, you gotta figure if you live to be 80, that's 36 years on a millionaire. 8. You start breaking down that math, you're like, oh, you're kind of. I don't know what you were making before, but if you invest, you could be, you're smart enough, but then you can't touch it. And then there's taxes.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. If you don't touch it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

You say I get 10%?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If you're living off of it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[Brett]

He's effed.

[John Holmberg]

And you're only. Yeah. You're only getting 10% a year growth and that's what you live off of. Maybe, but. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Which wouldn't be bad. People look 180k.

[John Holmberg]

I think what we're saying is, Wes as wet blankets that we are, is you're not going to be the talent you think you're going to be based on your 10% of 1.8 million going in. Let's say you even got two 10% of that 200 grand, you could probably do pretty well. But you're still not gonna top level.

[Brady Bogan]

You're not yachting.

[John Holmberg]

No. You're gonna have a decent place. Not gonna be knockout. It'll be a 1600 square footer. And the HOAS are gonna kick your ass if you want to live downtown. That's the one thing about living downtown. I don't understand why anybody does buy a place for 500 grand. You're like, this is crazy. And then the HOA is a thousand a month. It's an entirely separate mortgage payment. For what? Parking. So good luck, Wes. Keep us well. I wish I could tell you to keep us up to date. I hope you're really good with your cash. Go over to that Trajan wealth and see what they can do for you. Try to find out about this inheritance. A divorce is going to cost you more than you think. Or maybe not. I don't know about the inheritance rule. There's more people time. Everybody's been through this. Like, the sad thing is, everybody's been through.

[Brady Bogan]

What's the latest update?

[John Holmberg]

It says my dad had it happen. He did go to Cordell, and Cordell, the lady who did the divorce is named Miss America. No joke. That was her last name. She's amazing. They told him he can't touch the inheritance, and now I have to take care of him. I learned the hard way, like I said. So he tried to get his wife's inheritance. I wonder if it's different for women since they're allowed to. Like, they have different rules in divorce. Now you got to go out to Trajan, figure this out. A law. Divorce, can't touch it. Two marriage guys. An idiot. All right, so I'm getting more. If this is a vote majority saying that you can't. She can't touch her inheritance. I don't know.

[Brett]

A lot of these guys are up with us this early, so.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good point.

[Brett]

It seems like they've. She's touched a few of those inheritances.

[John Holmberg]

She's been out there. Oh, my. Yeah. This one says, why not get a job and roll the dice? A1 means work for a week and get fired. A4 means four weeks and get fired. You're claiming you have fu money. This is what I would do if I was rich. Go grab some dice. And that dice, that tells you how many days you have left working. 1, 3, 4. Work a week and get canned. Or go in there and try to get fired and then email us back with a story of what you did. Piss on the vegetables. Anyway, thanks for emailing Wes, and thanks for sticking it out with us until you were too rich to listen. I think I'd spend. If I got just a couple million bucks just handed to me, like, boom, here you go. I think there'd be a whole year of, you know, closing up shop, too. Then he'd have to be smart. You know, people always say that. I always ask Doug Hopkins, I'm like, you, when are you going to be done? He's never. But what would I do with my time? I have to have. I have to have a job. And I'm like, man, not me. And you give me. You give me FU money, and you're. You're hearing fu. I'm not coming in. And first sign of trouble, I quit. There's no possible way I'm going to allow stress in my life for work if I've got that kind of cash.

[Brett]

That was my dad. He always said of growing up, oh, I'll never retire. Then when he retires, I want to do a goddamn thing.

[John Holmberg]

I can't even get him out of the house half the time. Yeah, some people. My dad still likes working, but he found new things to do. He's just busy. Yeah, but he doesn't want a job. He doesn't work for a dude anymore. It's. It's. I don't know. I. I have no problem. I talked to Jay up at Tactical Black. I'm like, once I close her up, I close it up. Oh, you'll. You'll need to be. You'll start a podcast or something, right? Like, no, sir. I will be disappearing from society. Gone on. You'll never hear from me again. Like, why? Because. Done enough. Plenty. Whole point of working is so you don't have to work. It's like Mr. Miyagi, you work so you never have to work again. You work to the point where you say, I don't have to do this anymore. That's the whole point of the job. It isn't to put you in the ground and you can find whatever you want to do. If you want to keep working, do it. If you don't.

[Brady Bogan]

From a body yesterday, I'm in Orlando. I decided to.

[John Holmberg]

He just decides to move.

[Brady Bogan]

You know what I mean? No. Just go there for a week and.

[John Holmberg]

Play some golf and come back when he wants.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm gonna come back probably on Tuesday.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Never know. Open ended ticket. Because you know why? He worked until he didn't have to anymore, and now he's doing whatever he wants. That's truly retirement. Doing whatever you want. Some people want to go work at Walmart. Some people do. Dude, how many times you've been in an Uber with a dude? You know, I retired early and I just need to do this. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're broke. I don't believe anybody retired early and just needed to get out there and drive people around the city. Unless they blew it. There is nothing to me that says comfortable retirement less than. Why don't I pick up strangers and chat with them for a while?

[Brett]

Yeah, I don't see Bezos handing out samples at Costco anytime soon.

[John Holmberg]

The second I had to stay busy.

[Brett]

You know, Sam's on thing got, you.

[John Holmberg]

Know, you know, we never made money, I stepped away and I said to myself, you know, I just want to be with the people. I know you're broke Uber driver. The second you tell me I don't have to do this. Yeah, you do. You minute you say that. Yeah, you do. I don't need to do this. I do it because I want to. Nobody wants to do this.

[Brett]

I like being around people.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody wants to do this.

[Brett]

Go to the bar, for Christ's sake.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. Go sit at a bar and drown your misery with the other weirdos. Go to the Swiz. It's a soon to be Holmberg, Switzerland. You heard me best. Anyway, not allowed to talk about it, but yeah, go to the bar and go. What's the Matthias Bar? There you go. Local legends out there in the East Valley. The Tap Dragon is a big hit. Head on over there and sit down and tell people, I don't have to sit at this bar. No, of course you don't. It's a choice. You're driving rideshare. Something's going on. You either hate your wife so much that you just. You can't. You'd rather sit with strangers and drive them to the Scottsdale Airport from Glendale. I don't have to do this. You want to take surface streets? It'll take longer and then we can talk more. Oh boy, oh boy.

[Brett]

Thank God for Waymo.

[John Holmberg]

But congratulations, Wes. I know that's why Waymo was invented. It's because you Uber drivers got a little chad. At first we thought we could quell the chatty Uber driver with a button on the app that said you want it to stay quiet the whole time. We told him before we got in the car in the rudest way possible and a non confrontational way of saying no talking. There was a button on there. Uber drivers got so chatty that we had to invent a button that says, leave me alone. I just want to sit in the back and stare at my phone and act like I'm busy with emails, when really all I'm doing is playing Vita Maja. So what do you do for a living? Stop the car. I want to. I'm going to. I'm going to call Uber immediately and ask for a please don't talk to me button. And they did it. Then they're like, it's not enough. The Uber drivers still sometimes talk way mo we need is no driver at all. Is that possible? I'm like, we'll get right on it. The lack of wanting to be with another person drives technology. It's been porn for the last 200 years. And suddenly it's Uber drivers talking to you. Has driven the Waymo technology through the move. Five, six years ago. Do you ever imagine.

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

When Uber. Uber first hit. It's like peak. You're like, this is the greatest thing ever. I can drink, I can do whatever I want. There's some dude who come pick me up. Twenty years ago, there was a service where a dude had a mini bike that folded in half. I don't know if they still have it.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, that you call them up and.

[John Holmberg]

Go, I'm drunk scooter or something like that. Or I don't know what it was. I don't want to. To leave my car at the bar. And then he would scoot me on this little like 50 horsepower Briggs and Stratton homemade bike and it would fold in half and he'd come and get you and stuff his bike in the back of your car, drive it home. Scooter back. Scooter back to the next dude. And we thought that was awesome. Then Uber happened. Then they got chatty. Now Waymark, we're closing in on teleporting. It's getting there. It's getting close. The hover cars are actually occurring. There's that dude who invented those a little while. He's like, I got them. I just got a clear airspace now. So in the next five years, these are going to be out there. And I can't wait. Because they're Waymo based hover cars, so it wouldn't. You don't even have to learn to drive. It'll get you there. You don't need roads. You just need to tell it where all the power lines are. That's basically it. And I will be really happy to be one of the test people on that deal.

[Brady Bogan]

We need you. That's good.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'm. I'm proud to do. I'll be happy to do it. And if I get cooked up like a mylar balloon. Power lines right here.

[Brady Bogan]

You're welcome.

[John Holmberg]

Mark that down. Yeah. If I can make travel better for the future, I'll do it. But congratulations, Wes. I hope another relative with money dies soon so you never have to work again. I find it weird when you root for relatives to die so you get a better life, but. Sorry your poor uncle worked so hard to give your deadbeat nephew. I wonder why a nephew would get. I wouldn't never hand my money to a nephew.

[Brett]

No.

[Brady Bogan]

There'S a couple. I mean, you know, you could be uncle or aunt, could have been raising that nephew. You know, circumstances. Because mom and dad were. That's down out or whatever. Messed up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's true. I guess if you were like really the mom, because you always hear those.

[Brady Bogan]

Scenarios like, oh, or you have a aunt or uncle that was absolutely loaded. They just trickle it down to the relatives.

[John Holmberg]

Wealthy. Yeah, wealthy uncles that start handing. But even still, if I was a wealthy uncle, a deadbeat nephew's not getting anything. I'll patch on top of the head, but, you know, probably gonna hand a lot of that to the humane society or lost their home pet rescue until his nephew. Go get a life of your own. I had to do it. So I just got out of an Uber. The 44 year old female Uber driver says she's going to divorce her husband who just inherited money in four days. Can't wait for him to get out. That's probably true. I don't have to do this. That's how I know you're broke. Uber driver. I got one. Dude. The something was I had. I flew JSX and I had the Scottsdale airport to my house and he's on Thunderbird and he goes, I'm gonna probably end up going all the way to 51 on this. It's easier. I'm like, that's fine. Just take a minute. I'm like, all right. We get to the end of the airport fence. What do you do for a living? And I do the patented caskets. I make caskets. Ah. It's quiet and I get worked. I'm back into pretending I've got a game on my phone that's working even though my phone was dead. You know, I'm a. As an engineer and a lawyer. Like, that's fantastic. How'd you blow it? So you had to do this. What happened? I mean, what kind of drug habit did you get into with two incredible educations like that. Anyway, I don't have to do this. I just get on getting out of the house. And when you're retired, you don't get to see people. That's a choice. You did that on purpose. There's bars, there's all sorts. You didn't have any friends in the time you. And then I realized, oh, engineers are weirdos. That's why I forgot. Ask any engineer about who they don't want to hang out with. And it's other engineers. They're very strange people. Engineers are odd. Add the word lawyer to that.

[Brett]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

Now you're a pariah. So that's why he's driving Ubers, because nobody would talk to him for 38 years. And now he's retired. And it was a decent car. It was a minivan. I'm like this.

[Brady Bogan]

People used to come in to talk to me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but it was always problems. Nobody wanted to talk to you. They wanted you to solve their problem. You didn't make friends out of it anyway. Nothing. Also, the thing that's going on right now, I've got a lot of emails from it. A lot of people said, you see the dude that does the Donald Trump. And very kindly, many of you have stated that I should do this. I do a better Trump impression. The guy's Trump impression is okay. That's not the point of the thing. He's wandering around and kind of attacking celebrities with this. He's attacking liberal celebrities. He's a very Trump friendly Trump impersonator that goes, I forgot his name. And it doesn't really matter, matter. But he. He's wandering around. So he gets to Alec Baldwin and it's all over the news today. And he berates Alec Baldwin while Alec Baldwin gets out of his car. And I guess he's coming back from a trip. He's got luggage. Or he's either leaving or he's coming back. But anyway, so the guy walks up to him and starts in with, how you doing, Alec? Everything good? You know, he starts kind of asking him, are you. Are you finally gonna come around and kiss the ring? So he's got a ring on his finger. I just want you to kiss the ring and all will be good. And he's kind of harassing him and Alex ignoring him. And then he said, even though you murdered that woman in cold blood and you never said anything about it, kiss the ring and we'll make it all go away. We'll pardon you for murdering that woman. I know she's Looking down on us right now saying, thank God someone finally confronted Alec Baldwin. And Alec then at that point turns and says he's gonna break his neck or something. He says something terrible.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm gonna snap your effing neck in half and then break your effing neck. Neck right here.

[John Holmberg]

And then I'll take that camera guy standing 25ft away with the camera and I'll shove it up your ass. I'll shove that right up your ass. I am God. So it is a comeuppance because he got De Niro last. He went after De Niro. So he's going after the loud people that went after Trump, the loud celebrities that were anti Trump. And De Niro went off the deep end like, he's a lunatic. He went flat crazy, screaming and yelling like, calm down.

[Brett]

I can't even stick up for him.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And I know that's your guy. And it's the same as the right. When they go nuts about the left. There's something, something. Check out Homework's morning sickness [e-mail] Holmberg's Morning Sickness. There's that group of people that are like, well, this can't be this. You can't be this crazed by, like, the people in the View can't be that upset all day long, can they? But that's what you think about him. So this guy does it. And people are like, you know, al Bal should have kicked his ass. Or, that dude's got a set of brass balls. I'm glad he got him. Depending on what side you're on, I think means that you pick the side. Like, if you're super lefty, you probably are feeling bad for Alec Baldwin. And if you're super right, you love this guy. But if you're in the middle, you realize what it is is bad comedy. The guys, it's a very ballsy thing to do. But Alec Baldwin, to me, was the first person on Saturday Night Live that took the presidency to low blow attack impression rather than funny. You remember back when Dana Carvey did the first Bush president.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And it wasn't nice. He made him kind of dopey. You know, Chevy Chase did. Gerald Ford wasn't Ackroyd did. Jimmy Carve to Jimmy Carter. Right? Yeah. What you got is a young California sunshine. So, like, because I remember George Bush invited Dana Carvey to the White House, and they stood next to each other going, great, great job. Really good. I really do that with my hands. And he was kind of making him a dopey Weirdo. But it was in fun and Bush got it. Trump's not fun about being made fun of, of. And Alec Baldwin was flat mean. It wasn't funny to anyone who was like, in the middle or on one side. It was specifically designed for people on that side, period. End of story. Trump hate Baldwin, hated him. And it came across in the impression and oppression supposed to be the sincerest form of flattery. However, he was making Trump jokes about his family. He was making Trump jokes about. About incidents that had occurred in his life that were not favorable. You know, the porn star thing a few times accused him of doing crimes that were terrible. And maybe he was right. You know, there's some stuff Donald Trump actually did that was worth satirizing.

[Brady Bogan]

There was very little filter.

[John Holmberg]

There was not a lot of filter. And there was a whole bunch of attack, attack, attack. So the worm turns.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

A terrible event happens to Alec Baldwin. And now someone doing that very same impression that he thrived off of for four years, five, turned it on him and said, here's some mean jokes about your situation. And it pissed him off. Now, was it the best setting? Is it something I think is, you know, cool? No, it's not my style of thinking. That's great. But Alec Baldwin asked for it. When he turned the impression into an attack, he asked to be attacked in return. If, in fact he didn't live a perfect existence. If you gave anyone ammunition that he made people hate him. Alec Baldwin's out loud politics and crazy Trump meanness made some people go, I hate Alec Baldwin. If I ever get a chance to say so, I'm gonna, right? So this dude decided to balls up and go after him. That's why political tribalism is scary. And he got him Alec Baldwin, with every bit right to say, I it will break your effing neck. He was accosted in front of his.

[Brady Bogan]

Home like I did mine on stage.

[John Holmberg]

It wasn't cool, but at the same time, yeah, right. And this dude's doing it technically on new tv. He's filming it for clicks and likes on his page. So it was a random, uncool attack. But I always thought of Baldwin's impression of Trump. I'm like, eh, it's meaner than it is funny. It would be like me bitching if somebody. I put myself in that situation. And plenty of times, you know, if it was. If terrible things happened to Dave Pratt, I'd be all over it. And if you confronted me and started to bash, I'd be like, hey, that's not nice. I Don't have a right to that. I don't. If I'm not. If I have not been pleasant to you and your crew and then I do something and I get banged on it and you start make. I don't have a right to sit back and go, oh, that's out of bounds. There's no out of bounds. When you kind of kicked it first and Alec Baldwin kicked it first, De Niro was a little less of a deserving target target. He just went politically nuts and made it known. So he made enemies by screaming, you're basically a racist retard if you like Trump. And he pissed off people. And that's the risk you take by being so out loud about it. But now there's this kind of confidence resurgence in the. In the Republican Party loonies where they feel like. They feel like they've been under attack for so long, long that they now feel comfortable that they can do it back. And I think you're going to see.

[Brady Bogan]

A lot more in court.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, fine. Yeah, okay. I think you're going to see a lot more of that. I think you're going to see a lot more people who have kind of been hiding their. Their Trump feelings a little more confident that the light's shining on them a little brighter than it was. And they're going to get a little bit mouthy and there's going to be some mean coming back. And the only person to blame for that is the mean on the left. Because it got mean.

[Brady Bogan]

Sure.

[John Holmberg]

And maybe some deserve. But not necessarily. But when it came to comedy, it got mean. Very mean. And some people think that that's, you know, I've done that. Or we've been around that. We've been. Sure, we've attacked some mean Alec Baldwin. I think that story's atrocious. And I think one of the dumbest things Alec Baldwin ever did was that drive after he shot that woman, accidentally or otherwise, told lie after lie about why it happened or what, you know, just sit back and go, I don't know what happened. You don't try to make a story. Then he pulls over to talk to the press about how he can't talk to the press. It became this obvious, I can't ignore cameras thing. And then I don't know if I shoot a person in the face and take a woman away from her family, accidentally or otherwise. The last thing I'm gonna do is a reality show about it. And he's got the Baldwins seven kids. And the promo for it is, is we've got seven kids and what a life. But what do we do after tragedy strikes? Like film it. By all means, make that public. No, you hide.

[Brady Bogan]

The only thing missing from that trailer is you're gonna really like this guy.

[John Holmberg]

After watching when you're all done, my goal is that you love me again. I can't live a life with the public not liking me. Yes, I shot a woman in the face, but I mean, I thought the, the ultimate joke, the Saturday Night Live missed and they would never do it it because they won't make fun of Alec Baldwin. He was hosting the match game when he was shooting quote, blanks. The whole purpose of that thing is to fill in the blanks. The whole game is Alec Baldwin saying blank.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

I accidentally shot a woman in the face with blanket down chicken. That wasn't a question. So, yeah. Do I think that that's kosher? Do I think that's a cool way of doing so? Although I do have to say, when Ari Shafir was the amazing racer racist and used, I don't know how much of it was set up and how much of it was real, but when he would do stuff, it was like these random attack comedy videos. I laughed hysterically. I thought it was very funny. It was also kind of illegal and a lot of it was mean, but.

[Brett]

Some of those were uncomfortable.

[John Holmberg]

Incredible. I mean, yeah, I know for me people would find that odd in me, but I, I don't find mean comedy. Like, I like pointed and edgy and maybe slice you up a little bit, but I don't like flat out mean unless I hate you. And there are people I absolutely hate. I mentioned Dave Pratt. Top of the list. Absolute shyster thief. Miserable person. Miserable person. And again, that drunk out there in Gilbert who tried to get us canceled last year.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Put me in his 12 steps and got the apology letter a couple weeks. That brought me great joy. So I do have that in me. And some would say we just have the balls. No, I'll confront you, but if you're going to email me, I'll confront you my way. Because you didn't really do anything brave either. But you know, you got a beef and we go face to face. Sure. Not saying I. I'm a grownup. I'm not looking for fights, physical fights. That's not the way grown ups handle things. But if you want to get into a verbal battle. Absolutely. I'm all. But that's the old rule. Yeah. Philip Calvert's right. He says it's accurate. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. And boy, he was. Alec Baldwin was. People can say he was and he was dishing it out. And you can say all those were jokes. They were pointed and they were kind of awful. And if Donald Trump made a misstep or got in trouble with the law, there was going to be an Alec Baldwin sketch that week spotlighting that. The goal was to humiliate. It was not to. To have fun with it. It was. The goal was to humiliate Donald Trump. He does a good enough job on his own, but the goal was to really push that to a point of like, wow. And that's why that show's divided. But I will say that the left got crazy mean and they're doing it again with Elon, and they lose it and the right gets vindictive. And that's the tribal politics to where it's going to kill the funny, because it doesn't. It's not fun. And that dude yesterday, that whenever it was that went after Alec Baldwin, that's not funny. That topic is not at the expense of Alec Baldwin. That's at the expense of a dead woman and her kids.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, you're not. You're getting Alec Baldwin.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a little too far.

[John Holmberg]

It is too far. But you're. But that's something that happened. You tried to make Alec Baldwin feel bad about. I do it with OJ But OJ Killed people for sure, and so did Alec.

[Brett]

But Donovan says, typical Baldwin double standard. I can mock you, but don't you dare mock me.

[John Holmberg]

But again, it wasn't the guy he was mocking. It was a, you know, kind of a mocking by. In proximity. The dude was a Trump fan and he went after him. And I got to hand it to him, as far as balls go. Lucky he didn't get his. His head knocked off.

[Brett]

I wonder if that's what he's hoping for, because he's going to be in the news more gets. Yeah, he's going to sue Baldwin. I mean, he's just gonna.

[John Holmberg]

I mean that it's harassment to be. Be in front of somebody's house.

[Brady Bogan]

And it's the paparazzi.

[John Holmberg]

It really is roasting. Right. If the. Yeah, if the paparazzi decided to do a little chunk of roast on you. And they do it to some people. They do it to the people they don't like. Questions. Anyway. I get a lot of people on that. So. Didn't Baldwin's wife lie about her heritage and use a fake accent? Something came out about her. I Don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah, she's kind of hot. She has a. That's a natural accent. I didn't even know that either, but I think it's.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what she is. Hilaria Baldwin, but she's Spanish descent or something. She's 25 years young.

[Brett]

She was born here, though. I mean, she was. Yeah, she's from here.

[John Holmberg]

She's got seven kids and she's. She looks great.

[Brett]

SNL became bitter and malicious. It killed the show.

[John Holmberg]

It, it, you know, it wasn't always good, but it was always in fun. It seemed like, I mean, when Bush invites Dana Carvey to the White House to go, you're killing me out there, kid. He knew it wasn't, you know, malicious. That's the one room. I, I've always said it's like, so long as people like, how do you get away with what you say? And I'm like, it's never malicious. I mean, not always. Never. Because Pratt and that drunk prick out in Gilbert, those two. Malicious all day long. But I, they deserve it.

[Brady Bogan]

They would do. You know, back in the day, SNL would. Whoever's like Bush or Carter.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Ford.

[Brady Bogan]

But this time you could distinctly tell what side they were on. I mean, you had Trump getting just.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, roasted on there.

[Brady Bogan]

And then you got Mamala. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they loved her. Yeah. Yeah. They. They never would have attacked her. They gave her a little bit. They kind of went after. They kind of drew Biden a line.

[Brady Bogan]

Right there saying, this is where we stand, where you're supposed to be able to.

[John Holmberg]

The comedy of Biden would have been a lot better had they, had they gone after what they did in the 70s when Chevy Chase was making fun of Gerald Ford was. The guy fell down a few times. So they didn't even. I mean, the, the, the irony and joke of that was it's not even an impression. He's just going to fall. It's just, how can we put him in a situation where he's pretending to be Gerald Ford and he's going to fall down because he fell down. And it was hilarious. Something about a president falling down is funny. And it seems to happen to them more often than, I guess they're moving around a lot more than most of of us, but climbing a lot of stairs and stuff. But, I mean, in this building, we've had one stair fall that I know of, and it was Jolene, and she fell up the steps. And then someone put a tape of.

[Brady Bogan]

Outline of the box.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we had the outline show yeah, the crime scene. I don't know how you fall upstairs, but she fell upstairs. And then a few people who have walked into door window, which we made fun of. But outside of that, there's like 70 employees here and 10 years in the building. Now, three incidents seems reasonable. Yeah, this is. He was just a clutch. They just made him a bumbling idiot. But Gerald Ford had a sense of humor about it. Fellow Americans, ladies and gentlemen, members of the press and my immediate family. First, may I thank you all for being here. And I am. And my immediate family. Family. They just made him a bumbling. But it was all in fun based on stuff he'd done. Trump's an easy target. But it did. It got vindictive and mean. Said John, I can't wait till Lamar Jackson finds out you've been making fun of him for being ugly. He's gonna wreck you, dude. He might. I'm not gonna say I'd beat Lamar Jackson in an athletic endeavor. He might take me down.

[Brett]

Ray Lewis, too. He's gonna be after you.

[John Holmberg]

Ray Lewis is a killer who hit all of it. Look, I'm just saying what's factual. Okay, so the drunken Gilbert Pratt and any Baltimore Raven. Yes, there's malicious intelligence. And if they did. But imagine then, if Lamar Jackson came to me and said, I can't believe you say I'm dumb and ugly. And I'm like, oh, no, this isn't fair. If I started screaming, Lamar Jackson's harassing me, you'd be like, john, you invited this. I have to recognize. Yeah, I kind of did. You want to call me dumb and ugly to my face? I'll sleepy Big trust. I don't know what big trust is. And you say it a lot. I can't understand you. You've got a wad of Zales on your mouth.

[Brady Bogan]

That my grill.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay.

[Brady Bogan]

He's welcome to come into the show.

[John Holmberg]

And no, he's not. He's so dumb and he's so ugly, I. I'll give you the address. You won't find it. You're too stupid and ugly to find it. Yeah, any Baltimore Raven. Any. And even still, that's sort of fun. And I think he'd understand. I'm like, look, you're a Raven. I'm a super stealer. I'm beyond ill with Steeler love. You get it? And if I ever saw him, I'd be like, I hate you. I did it to John Elway when John Elway held the door and I said, I gotta say, I've never, like, you have been the bane of my existence as a Steeler fan. And then he said something snotty, and my Irish trainer didn't know who he was. Who's that guy? Should we. Let's. We got a scout him? Like. No, no, no, That's. That's legendary quarterback John Elway. During his time as a Bronco, I hit Tom Brady. Now he's out of the game. You tip your cap, you say it. So is it malicious that I hate Lamar Jackson and wish that, you know, something terrible happens? And I hope that the people at reading is fundamental, get a hold of him and, like, teach him to read, and then, like, we get that story. Like, he's Fantasia Barino, and he's never. I don't think he can read. I'm pretty sure he can't. Have you ever heard him talk or you saw his Wonderlic scores? There's no denying that what I'm using is fact, and I do hate him. But if he came to me and started to make fun of me, which would never happen, but if he did, and I cried foul, I'm a fact, so. And Pratt, too, although he's not quick enough to keep up, he would. He knows he'd lose that fight in a heartbeat. Eviscerate that old weirdo. That and the fact that he knows that we've got the. The receipts on his.

[Brady Bogan]

Got the good.

[John Holmberg]

His charities and the theft that went on in this building for 18 years. It's terrible. Yeah. And he said, John, with Pratt, some people suck so bad, they deserve all the hate. They sewn it, and even 25 years later, it still tastes great. Yeah, it's. That's true. Some people have created a lifetime of hate, even if they've gone away for a while. And he's one of them. I said, the only complaint I have about that is the dude needs to work on his Baldwin impression and do that to Alec. That would have been funnier. That's true. If you went up to Alec Baldwin as Alec Baldwin, how are we feeling about the killing that woman? Like, that's. You're still making fun of a dead lady and her kids. I think that's the problem. But Alec goes on TV and starts talking about how sad this event made him. I've never been anything. This is the worst thing I've ever been through in my life. Like, think about the guy who's over there raising those kids without their mother. Now, shouldn't they have a show where we find out how they feel? This isn't about you. You're going through a lot because this incident was you. The lady who died is the one that we should be feeling sorry for, not Alec Baldwin.

[Brady Bogan]

I mean, everyone involved in that. It's horrible because intention.

[John Holmberg]

But he went immediately, like the second day on a. Please leave me alone. I didn't like. This is not my fault. It is your fault. You can accidentally kill someone and it isn't time for you to clear your name with a. Well, I have celebrities, so I'll start my own reality show. People like me again. No, you hold up for a little while. You don't. You don't say anything. It looks crass and callous to go out and say, hey, look how happy my family is. Look how much we've got.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, it looks like the PR tour.

[John Holmberg]

Here's my seven kids mother. She's alive. It's not nice, but. Yeah. So people are asking me, would you do this? Would you ever do that? No, I probably would never, ever impression attack anyone. Although it'd be pretty funny. Maybe Lamar Jackson on game day because pretty sure he can't beat me up. He's got his. He's got to focus on the game. You stop calling me dumb and ugly. Yeah, the second you're not dumb or ugly. Oh, no. It's gonna last forever. I hate Lamar Jackson. Justin Tucker, the Harbaugh Lamar Jackson. Yeah, I got a lot of Ravens hate and they hate. You know, they would make fun of Ben Roethlisberger and they have a right to do it, but we don't. Yeah, Ravens fans and Steeler fans. We. Deep down, there's not like a, you know, Michigan and Ohio State. There's like a. All right, you're a little less than when you. I remember I was at Tripp's house for a party and he had some people there from Baltimore, and I didn't know that. And we're hanging around and they were. Be nice to them. They're. They're an agency that does a lot of national buys. I'm like, oh, all right. Okay. So he's just giving me a read of the room of who to be nice to. And like, I wasn't gonna. So I'm walking over and this guy's standing there, and I said something to him about football. And he goes, yeah, huge fan. I'm like, where are you from? And he goes, oh, we. We all are. We live in Baltimore. I'm like, oh, home of the birds. And he. And he lifted his sleeve up and he had a tattoo. That ugly ass bird. Like, yuck. What'd you lose a bet? And he starts laughing right then and there. I think we both felt like we can't be friends. We're not gonna be. This is not gonna go a good direction. We talked football for a little while and then kind of just parted ways. There's no reason it was gonna get heated.

[Brett]

Well, didn't you have a guy that didn't wanna buy your last house?

[John Holmberg]

Because walked in my house and saw my closet and saw the Steelers and his wife was in the bed. This is beautiful. I love this bed. Let's go. Why? Let's go. We're going. Why? Go look in his closet. Nothing. I can't live here. It's tainted. It's ruined. It's jinxed. It's horrible here. Steelers jerseys. And you walked right out. And I'd have done the exact same thing.

[Brett]

Tip of the cap.

[John Holmberg]

If I'm looking for a house and I walk in and I see a dude's closet full of Ravens gear, no way. I'm not living in that jinxed up cup. Him. No way. You know, my IQ would drop the second I bought that dump. Living in that hell hole made me feel terrible. Plus, there's probably crimes that have been committed because no Ravens fan would be in a house I could afford. They'd have to be in like, section 8 or some sort of public government giveaway. That's what Ravens fans live. Looking at houses in Arcadia and see Raven's gear. I've never seen it, by the way. This is a complete fantasy. To think that I would look at anything with more than a bedroom and one half bath and think that the closet is filled with, like, if it's five bedroom, four bath, and it's, you know, on a nice plot of land and it's all been modern. I go into the thing and the closet's full of Raven stuff. I'm like, poor person. How did you get in this house?

[Brady Bogan]

10 jerseys, 8 white suits.

[John Holmberg]

You either played for the Ravens or killed a guy who loved the Ravens and took all his clothes. You're a thief or a liar or a criminal or some sort, but you're. There's no Ravens fans. I'm looking at Camelback Mountain right now. I can guarantee you all those houses we see at the beautiful houses on there, and not one of them has Raven stuff in a closet.

[Brett]

Dale was a Raven, right?

[John Holmberg]

He's had to run a cookie begging me for money here. Johnny, I need to get some sort of a deal here. We're gonna keep coming in. I agree with you. Dale, I'm going broke, Johnny. I know Dale. He's a Raven, for God's sake. So, yes. Is there some malicious intent behind hatred of the Raven? It's usually sports based. I don't care otherwise. But Alec Baldwin had a little bit of that medicine needed to go down. I'm not real cool with how it happened, but if you haven't seen the video, it's on tmz, it's all over the Internet. Just Google it. The dude's got. He lands a couple of like, uncomfortably funny lines, but it's just the setting is pretty brutal. Pretty brutal. But what's worse, going on TV as Trump and taking him down as best you can, and then Trump's asking for it too, so I mean, I guess that's okay, but. And then taking down the people who support him on a regular basis, that was where I think the line got crossed. Crossed is that anybody who supported Trump was also being pretty much drugged through the mud by Baldwin and De Niro and the View. It's weird, but nobody got hurt in the end. And Alec will probably sue. I watched a documentary about Muhammad Ali last night. I didn't realize what a prick he was to Sonny Liston. And that's not a dude you mess with. But he went all the way. He took the press to Sonny Liston's house and stood on his lawn with a bunch of dudes and challenged him to a fight in the front yard. And Sonny was all too willing to comply. Yeah, I will kill you. I've done it before. And he had his guys, like get in the way and like, keep him apart. He was trespassing and taunting and harassing this poor bastard. And the more you read about and the more you know about Muhammad Ali as a person, the more you won't how much we would hate him if he lived in modern times. The crap he was pulling to inferior. He would not. You know, you thought Kaepernick was politically active, Forget it. This dude would have been. He and John Lennon.

[Brady Bogan]

There still are people that, you know during that time.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they hated him. Yeah. And they hated him then. But then, you know, through time he became this pillar of. Of like, you know, everybody loves him. You forget, like if he was today, Kaepernick and all those dudes that get a little mouthy about certain topics and you don't want to. My God, would Muhammad Ali be hated today? It wouldn't even be close. Like, I don't know where he gets support, to be honest with you. Saying the things he said about like, you know, the white devil and stuff like that. And he was. Believed it. He was terrible. And he just did dickhead stuff. Standing on the opponent's front, you know, giving his address out on the. He's pointing to the address on the guy's house and big, dumb, crazy Sonny Liston comes out and I'll kill you. I have killed before. Here's a fun fact. Sonny Liston's fist in diameter, 15 inches. Oh, Jesus. A softball is 12. They use 10 ounce gloves. That's a sledgehammer. Somehow that dude lost twice to Ali. Anyway, little aside there, Brett. What do you got on the big board of musical treats? All right.

[Brett]

Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop, of course. Make sure you go over there and check out the brand new store on Power Road and McDowell for all your biking needs. And of course, if you need to get up and go up north and hit the snow, well, all your snow and bike needs are at the OG store right there on Gilbert Road in southern actionrideshop.com or just follow them up on the Instagrams and all your social media. On the list, Pantera for the show that just got announced yesterday. Bullet Boys. Smooth up in you for all the federal workers right now. Snot for Kirby the Hives. And then of course, it goes with all the rain songs. Rain King from Counting Crows.

[John Holmberg]

Rain from the Cult.

[Brett]

Piss from Pantera. That smell from Skynyrd. Sweet Emotion from Wet.

[John Holmberg]

For Wes, the lottery winner. Yeah, he's on the board. Yeah.

[Brett]

Holiday in the sun for Wes. Saliva, sex, drugs and rock and roll. Cause that's all Wes has got.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know that one.

[Brett]

And it's kind of a hidden church. It's a good song actually.

[John Holmberg]

Is it? Yeah. Should we do that?

[Brett]

Give it a shot.

[John Holmberg]

Saliva, sex, drugs and rock and roll for our dead uncle, lottery winner, Wesley. And to Wes's wife. Hey, by the way, if you're out there listening and you're married to a guy named Wes and he's about to inherit some money, he kind of let the cat out of the bag. You're. You're gone. You gone. You're done. To quote Balin, you're done. You're done. That's a tough way to find out, isn't it? So, yeah, I guess his uncle passed away. He's been really kind of. He's handling it really well to be surprisingly happy. I don't know. I guess we're just gonna live our lives day to day. Oh, yeah. You're two more of those you got two more of those day to day before he's gonna tell you. Yeah, it's crazy. I've not heard this one. So this is. This is not a. A released song from Saliva.

[Brett]

It was on the album, but.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, but it wasn't single.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right, you got it ready to go? Yep. All right. Sex, drugs and rock and roll for you, Wes.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this. Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Day just keeps getting better and better. Just one step outside and you're like, whoa, maybe you should work from home in your backyard. It's glorious. It's perfect outside. It's time now for Brady to give you all of the news that only Brady knows. We call it the Brady Report. Before we get to to it, just to clear it all up, AI is the answering machine. Inheritance is generally not considered marital property. For all you people that are emailing saying, I got this and I had all the rules. It's considered separate property and is usually not subject to division during a divorce. However, here are the rules. Inheritances are considered separate property if they're kept separate from marital assets. So. Oh, writing on the wall. If you have an inheritance coming in and the person who got the inheritance says, I'm going to start my own account, they're walking away from you. They're getting out. Assets acquired before marriage are generally considered separate property. So if it's before you got married, you got to keep that accumulated.

[Brady Bogan]

Like if you started a 401k before.

[John Holmberg]

You got married, the chunk that you had before, that's always yours.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Gifts specifically designated for one spouse during the marriage are considered separate. That's a tough one. If you commingle your inheritance at any point, it is community property. So if the person like say Brett Matthiah as that lucky uncle gives Brett a bunch of dirty, dirty Italian mob money and he starts to pile it into Matthias cash, now it's half hers. You keep it separate. Separate. You're planning on leaving her. That's basically all that is. There's one of the.

[Brett]

We've been doing that since day one.

[John Holmberg]

So essentially it. If they have a valid prenuptial agreement, it may outline specific that stuff that says TIPS here. Protect your inheritance during a divorce. Always keep it separate from marital assets. Well, that is the biggest red flag of all time. That is for sure. If you got an inheritance and is what Wes is doing. So Wes you are going to slice.

[Brady Bogan]

Meanwhile, you asked him or her when you marry. Married. We're comingling everything else.

[John Holmberg]

Right. But look, over time, the inheritance shows up and she's looking at you like, I think I'm gonna keep this. Like Wes is doing. And Wes thinks he's gonna go downtown and slay puss like his email said for a million 8. Most people emailing saying he'll be. He'll be back listening to this show in six months. He's. He sounds like a poor guy who just got a lot of money. He's gonna buy a car. He's gonna buy that $170,000 Kings Ranch Ford. Every bell and whistle you can get for no reason. We'll get into this in a second, but Crab Walk might be the stupidest thing I've ever seen a car company come out with. It's neat to see. When are you gonna.

[Brady Bogan]

I've been saying that I'm like, what?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brett]

Well, when he picks you up in his Uber tagged crab walking Hummer walking around.

[John Holmberg]

But I mean, it's neat in the sand because it makes cool tracks you don't normally see. But back in the early 90s, the. The Buick Alante or whatever that thing was called. Yeah, the back tires turned when the front tires turned. It's kind of the same thing.

[Brady Bogan]

Honda Preludes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Preludes had that too. Where the back wheels would move a little bit or it was a Cadillac.

[Brady Bogan]

It was an all wheel drive. Well, kind of all wheel steering, but.

[John Holmberg]

The back would go. It would move a little bit. Kind of help you in a turn, give you a turn radius. And then Cadillac had the other one. Was it Alante? Is that what that was?

[Brady Bogan]

The convertible had the four.

[John Holmberg]

One of them had back steering. That was like revolutionary. That's Crab Walk. Anyway, then at the end it says a tip. If you're concerned with your inheritance and it's been commingled with your community property, there's still a way talk to a lawyer or ask AI. But bottom line is, if you've got a spouse and an inheritance like WES and. Ma'am. Mrs. West. Wes. He's not putting it. If he's starting a new account, chances are he's got half a foot out the door. And he's emailed us and said he's all the way out. You just don't know about it yet. Oh, poor Mrs. West. Anyway, sorry, Brady, report it.

[Brady Bogan]

Good Tuesday morning to you, Phoenix.

[John Holmberg]

Hello, world. Hi.

[Brady Bogan]

Happy National Clam Chowder Day.

[John Holmberg]

Boston or San Fran, whatever you want.

[Brady Bogan]

Clam Chowders, you know, fuel.

[John Holmberg]

I'm asking. I'm asking you.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, well, it just says it's clam chowder. Oh, my preference.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

New England.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, me too.

[Brett]

What's the difference?

[John Holmberg]

The one's gay.

[Brady Bogan]

Tomato base.

[John Holmberg]

Manhattan one's San Francisco. It's full of gay. It'll make it gay. Eat too much of it. It's orange. The San Francisco one, it's like.

[Brady Bogan]

No, it's Manhattan.

[John Holmberg]

Manhattan San Francisco is. Well, it's the one they serve in San Francisco. Oh, I thought that was the orange one. No, no, Manhattan's orange. And then what's the one up in New England fame?

[Brady Bogan]

It's cream.

[John Holmberg]

That's the one. I like New England.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think I've eaten the Manhattan one. San Francisco does a cream one too.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

When I was there, it was. It was that. It was all orange and it was in a bowl of bread.

[Dick Toledo]

You ate it the wrong place.

[John Holmberg]

It was gross. Like tomato soup with potatoes and clams in it.

[Brady Bogan]

A couple of basis fun facts and gang crows. Remember who has done them wrong.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brady Bogan]

According to experiments by a professor at the University of Washington, crows hold grudges against individual, individual humans. For up to 17 years, I was.

[John Holmberg]

Convinced that Spike Owen and perhaps Mark Langston and maybe great mariners Ken Griffey Jr. Had wronged a crow once. Because I was on a golf course in a mariner's hat and I was attacking, attacked wildly by this crow. He hated that hat. He wasn't attacking me. He was attacking the hat. When the Mariners first came out with the new S, the silver S, he hated it. And my buddy that was golfing with Jim was dying, laughing. He goes, he's coming again. He'd wait for me to turn my head and just hit that hat. Like, jesus, I can't. It lasted for like three holes. We couldn't run away from him. So I know somewhere along the line, some of those great Mariners pissed off that crow and he was mad.

[Dick Toledo]

Henry Cotto.

[John Holmberg]

Henry Cotto was an original Cub. The Mariners.

[Dick Toledo]

That's true.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Sorry.

[Brady Bogan]

The Holy Roman Empire was dissolved. Wasn't dissolved until 1806. So that means there are three decades where both the Holy Roman Empire in United States were both in existence.

[John Holmberg]

Really.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a difference between a crevice and a crevasse.

[John Holmberg]

Isn't that Holy Roman Empire? Shouldn't that have been doged at that point? We still have Holy Roman Empire checks rolling. And we gotta stop the Holy ro. The holy Romans, they're out there and you know what? Biden did nothing to stop the Holy Roman Empire. Got Elon all over that. No more money for you. Caviticus.

[Dick Toledo]

Enter your email. Kevicticus.

[John Holmberg]

That's it. You're over a thousand years old. Kevictokus this. And we've been paying him social. Can you believe it? Can you believe how much waste bank of Social Security before it was even a thing. The Holy Roman Empire. Can you believe this? Elon found it.

[Dick Toledo]

You got one of those EBT cards.

[John Holmberg]

Got an EBT card. It's today. They called it the toga back then.

[Brady Bogan]

It was a crevice is a small crack. A crevasse is a huge crack.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Brady Bogan]

A chimp's poop throwing ability is actually a sign of intelligence.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not.

[Brady Bogan]

The more accurately the chimp throws his poo, the stronger his brain.

[John Holmberg]

It's a sign of having a rock and arm. That's all. It's like throwing like a girl or not.

[Dick Toledo]

Who's excited about that throwing his poo.

[John Holmberg]

That's because he can't wait to go back to the zoo. You know, kids, that's a sign he's smarter than all of us. And the kid would be like, you know what's a sign he's smarter than all of us? You for saying that stupid thing. No, that that chimpanzee is the smartest one here because he throws his poop further than that one. It's not an IQ test. It's not that that chimp just has a better arm. All four of us could go down and grab a pile of arpu and one of us is going to throw it further. It doesn't make that guy the smartest one.

[Brett]

I'm out.

[John Holmberg]

You're not gonna throw your crap. Nope. You don't think you're very good. You don't have a good arm or not that smart.

[Brett]

I'm not picking a puppy poop.

[John Holmberg]

That's proof you got a higher iq. You know the thing I discovered yesterday? I took that IQ test a couple weeks ago online, and at the end, they asked for your email in like a dollar. And I'm probably still getting charged. I'll go back and find some subscription where I'm getting a buck a day. But you know how you know you have a high iq? I learned this yesterday up there at Tactical Black because Jay's wife Joy did it. And at the end she didn't pay the money. And I'm like, well, that's proof you're smart right there. You took the test and at the end, you didn't pay for it because you're like, what a ripoff. I hit pay. Apple pay. That should be 10 points off right there for paying some company. Yeah, I don't know if the test was legit. That dude just stroked a buck off of me.

[Brady Bogan]

Brett, I know you'll be excited for March. March is national Sauce Month.

[John Holmberg]

Mama sauce.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep. Instacart just released some data on America's favorite pasta sauces. They released a list of the states that order the most.

[Dick Toledo]

At least Pasta sauce Rao's is now.

[Brett]

That stuff's good for a jar stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Go give us the list.

[Brady Bogan]

Iowa leads the way with the most obsessed with pasta sauce. Wisconsin. The second witness, Real by West Virginia.

[John Holmberg]

Iowa, Wisconsin, and West Virginia with the best Italian sauce.

[Brady Bogan]

California is dead last.

[John Holmberg]

We found out where the bodies are.

[Brett]

Buried, and we're not hanging out with.

[John Holmberg]

Them people, you knows, liberal weirdos. They don't know how to make I like a mama sauce dripping right out of mama's body.

[Brady Bogan]

They also broke it down to specific cities and the places that order the most pasta sauce. Kansas City.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's a huge mob town.

[Brady Bogan]

Buffalo.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, huge mob.

[Brady Bogan]

Philadelphia.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what's going on.

[Brett]

It is there, too, though.

[Brady Bogan]

Columbus, Ohio. And Virginia Beach.

[Brett]

I don't know about Virginia beach, but most of those other ones are mobbed up.

[Brady Bogan]

The cities that order the least.

[John Holmberg]

No offense to Brady, but if I had just ratted out the mob bosses and they're like, all right, your new name is John Jefferson, and you're going to live in Columbus. Oh, I'm going to go. Let. Let me face my. My misery here. I'm staying in New York. I'm not going to Columbus.

[Brady Bogan]

Good gravy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they've been going over there. New gravy. That's how you know. It's a bad study, too. They calls it sauce, but this is.

[Brady Bogan]

One of America's favorite sauces. Is Alfredo the least healthy of all of them?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

But overall, marinara is number one. Then it's Alfredo basil.

[John Holmberg]

And Iowa is the home of great Italian sauce. I believe that. I don't know what you talking about. We love it over here in Des Moines.

[Brett]

You see Tommy Two Eyes and Vinnie the Nose out there on a John Deere plowing the fields.

[John Holmberg]

Look at me. I'm a farmer. I'm working the land. Yeah, I believe that. That's how I picture Iowa.

[Brady Bogan]

A lot of grapes and tomatoes out there.

[Brett]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I think this is ripe for a nice tomato patch. Go get the John Deere. Where that Corn? Tomatoes. We're gonna do some farming right now.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, you grow your own for mama's sauce?

[Brett]

No, I don't.

[John Holmberg]

Grab a. Hello. Let me get out there and farm. You know what we need out here? Iowa's got none of them Mexicans. That would make our farming a lot easier.

[Brett]

We'll import them. Don't worry about it.

[John Holmberg]

Trump. Lay off the border a little bit. The farm's out of control.

[Brady Bogan]

This British woman got addicted to Candy Crush. The game. She got hooked on the game years ago and couldn't stop playing it then. It was like a gateway drug. She started playing virtual slot machines.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

But a court ruled it wasn't her fault.

[John Holmberg]

Fault.

[Brady Bogan]

And blamed her doctor for it.

[John Holmberg]

What? That's right.

[Brady Bogan]

A few weeks ago, she started in on the Candy Crush. She saw a doctor and complained about restless leg syndrome.

[John Holmberg]

God.

[Brady Bogan]

So they put her on a medication called roping.

[John Holmberg]

A roll. Rope and roll.

[Brady Bogan]

Rope and roll.

[John Holmberg]

Now you say it. You just mumbled.

[Brady Bogan]

Can help with restless leg syndrome. It also mimics the effects of the feel good hormone dopamine.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brady Bogan]

So one of the side effects that can make you feel more impulsive. Her doctor didn't warn her about it. Even though they put her on twice the normal dose. So the court ruled her meds were the reason she got hooked on Candy Crush and awarded her $215,000 in damages.

[John Holmberg]

Man, they basically made her one windy day away from being a constant organization.

[Brett]

I should have just gave her Ozempic because, you know, she's just in there crushing Fritos and Tohos and everything else.

[John Holmberg]

She's fat. Doing nothing but fat and happy and playing Candy Crush all day.

[Brady Bogan]

51 year old guy in Hawaii named Gordon Cordero got out of prison on Friday after spending 30 years behind bars for a crime he didn't do. He was convicted of killing a guy in 1994 over a drug deal gone bad. But he always maintained his innocence and DNA evidence finally cleared him. One of the first things he was that he did was he went out for a nice steak dinner, which is a little different from prison food. But he said the craziest thing he experienced so far is everyone looking at their phones all the time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

He's like he'd never seen cell phone zombies, beast smartphones. He goes. All he had was a beeper. He told a reporter that he got his first cell phone as soon as he got out on Friday. But he's obsessed with it. Not yet.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

But he goes.

[John Holmberg]

He's still getting messages on his beeper, he murdered someone. And now we're like following him around.

[Brady Bogan]

DNA cleared him up.

[John Holmberg]

Cleared him actually doing it. But you were in the, you were in the area. You were too close. Close.

[Brett]

Beepers still got one out there.

[John Holmberg]

I, I, look, I even know they had those anymore. I call me crazy, but I think if you get convicted by a jury of your peers of murder, you, you were too close. Wait, what else was going on around. Swear to God, I didn't actually do the killing. You did some. See the dude that went up and got convicted and then during his, his last words of like the trial where they let him speak, he confessed so much, much stuff that they arrested his friend. Like, oh my God. All right. He just let the cat out of the bag. And then wow. And it was while he was talking. He's like, and this happened. And this happened.

[Dick Toledo]

He wasn't done talking. And they were arrested.

[John Holmberg]

Dude was in the courtroom. All right, we'll go grab him. And they nabbed that dude and slapped cuffs on him, arrested him while his buddy was ratting everybody out. And he wasn't ratting, he was just telling the story, you know, like, well, that's enough to get him. So they got him right there.

[Brady Bogan]

I saw that Kim Kardashian posted a picture of a guy that, for her, you know, one of the charity works. Yeah, The Innocence Project. And it was the wrong picture. And the guy that is the actual dude in the picture is suing her.

[John Holmberg]

She called him a convicted killer. It's the wrong person.

[Brady Bogan]

JetBlue has announced a new partnership with a startup called Weather Promise for a new program that will reimburse travelers if it rains on your vacation.

[Dick Toledo]

That's dumb.

[Brady Bogan]

You book a vacation through JetBlue. The guarantee is available on eligible flights, hotel packages. If, you know, through JetBlue vacations, there's a protection offered trip components including car rentals and activities. You know your trip is covered because you pay for for it. Person did get an example. They said they paid for. They had the weather guarantee for an 11 day trip to Punta Cana. Who in the Dr. Punta Cana.

[John Holmberg]

You said it sounded real dirty. Whatever.

[Brady Bogan]

For 1100 bucks. Or actually it was $111.

[John Holmberg]

Was the travel insurance for 11 days? Yeah, 100 bucks total.

[Brady Bogan]

Basically it would provide reimbursement for up to 2,500 dol are equivalent to the total of the cost of the trip.

[John Holmberg]

So it's 10 bucks a day.

[Brady Bogan]

It rained for three days to get.

[John Holmberg]

30 bucks back.

[Brady Bogan]

But a little rain doesn't count. It has to be excessive rain. Which is a little vague.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, this. Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Weather uses AI satellite imagery and weather stations and radars to provide the custom made excessive rain thresholds for trips.

[John Holmberg]

Don't buy that insurance. That's just. You're wasting your money. Tolerate a little rain, you're on earth. Your whole vacation isn't going to be 11 days of perfect. If it is, you got lucky. If not, enjoy the days it rains there.

[Brady Bogan]

The hot new TikTok challenge is to drop heavier and heavier things on your foot to see how much it hurts.

[John Holmberg]

I'm for this. Jesus Christ. I've always been for. I'm all for the Tik Tok challenge.

[Brady Bogan]

The drop challenge.

[John Holmberg]

I think you should juggle Tide pods and then try to catch them in your mouth while you're dropping anvils on your feet.

[Brady Bogan]

One guy who went viral after he did multiple rounds of it.

[John Holmberg]

Genius.

[Brady Bogan]

He does a hammer space heater.

[John Holmberg]

By the way.

[Brady Bogan]

Sound bar, kids.

[John Holmberg]

Tick Tock. Nothing funnier than when you eat whole jugs of cinnamon. I think it's just great. You should get all over that.

[Brady Bogan]

Looks like Tick Tock has pulled some of these videos down. Including the guy with the drill.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. You know the Chinese are basically testing to see how far we'll go to fall in line. See if they eat in a mass would drop heavy objects on a feet.

[Brady Bogan]

Takes you off.

[John Holmberg]

They all are doing it. They are stupid. It's worse. It's working. See if they will eat the spoonfuls of a cinnamon and get their friends a to do it at tear. They are doing it.

[Dick Toledo]

The pushback from the guy in the room. I don't know if we should be doing it.

[John Holmberg]

This is a roll.

[Dick Toledo]

No, they're doing it.

[John Holmberg]

We kill idiot. Now see if they'll eat a laundry detergent. They're doing it. We're idiots. These are people with foreign rhine. No problem.

[Brady Bogan]

I got a couple of brilliant videos. First one is the knockout of the day.

[John Holmberg]

All right. This is some lobby somewhere. It's like a man. Maybe a gym. A lobby or gymth complex.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Who knows? No, I don't know where he's. Oh, there's an oh.

[Brady Bogan]

And look, he.

[John Holmberg]

Well, he hit his head. He goes full gang signs to a tongue of violo. His hands are up, elbow to the chin. What are they mad about? Oh yeah, he threw an elbow. That's a game ender there. Wow. That guy's going to jail, right?

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, for a long time.

[John Holmberg]

That seem unprovoked.

[Brady Bogan]

Next one are.

[John Holmberg]

Wow.

[Brady Bogan]

Friends decide to flip their buddy.

[John Holmberg]

Like, he's running at him and they're gonna.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, he does the wheelbarrow.

[John Holmberg]

He does wheelbarrow and. Oh. And they over flip him, and he lands on his face in the middle of the road. It's like squid games, only poor people, they didn't get to go to the cool island.

[Brady Bogan]

The last one is called A Lucky Day.

[John Holmberg]

All right?

[Brady Bogan]

This lady walking on the street, getting.

[John Holmberg]

Into her car, and. Oh, my God, she's between a car and her parked car, and. And the dude hits her parked car, and then they both separate around her like a Y. She's untouched.

[Brett]

She's pretty casual about walking away.

[John Holmberg]

I'd be say it touched.

[Brett]

I'd be a monkey throwing my poop.

[Dick Toledo]

There's one way.

[Brett]

Brett. Dad, that's it.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's because you're so smart. Wow. Wow. That is. This was Saturday nothing. She is literally between two cars colliding and doesn't get touched. I don't know how that happened. Copperfield couldn't put that together. That was a. That's a David Blaine.

[Brady Bogan]

That's the new TikTok challenge.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Kids, I think that's a good idea idea. Park real close to a freeway off ramp, and then get out and stand next to your car and. And see if you can dodge it like that girl. Tick Tock wants you to challenge yourself.

[Dick Toledo]

Check that one out on our Facebook page. See how lucky she is.

[John Holmberg]

Also, a new Tick Tock challenge Carter Hollingsworth has come up with is BASE jumping without a parachute. It's fun.

[Brett]

I like that.

[John Holmberg]

And if you survive it, you're like the winner if you win TikTok kids, try that today.

[Brady Bogan]

Going for the record.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I don't think you're allowed to say try that, but Tick Tock can. And, you know, if all the other kids are doing it, you should, too. I mean, why are you being left out? All right, Bert, what do you got?

[Brett]

I'm off.

[John Holmberg]

You got nothing today. Nothing really good. All right, well, I got standards.

[Brett]

I gotta. I got. I got one or two that I'm gonna say for tomorrow because they're, you know, they need to be mixed in with some other spicier stuff. Let's say that.

[John Holmberg]

So they're kind of middle of the road. Nothing. Nothing. Hard hitting today. So you're taking the day off. I don't blame you. All right. We'll live on that. Thank you, Brad. Instead of just throwing nonsense at us.

[Brett]

Would never do that.

[John Holmberg]

No. Brilliant. Thank you. I like that.

[Brady Bogan]

Same here.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Freddy would. Freddy's discerning taste. For the videos. There's a butterfly letting on my eyelashes. Okay.

[Dick Toledo]

Never used in Brady's video. Discerning and taste.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Discerning taste. What is that? Well, there you go. That's your Brady Report. It's 98 KUPD.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Dick Toledo]

No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. And it's. It's a beautiful thing this week. I have to say, guys, I have to the lay in on a little something. I'm being. Well, I mean, it's kind of a. Kind of a huge deal, really. I don't want to brag or anything, but being named pretty much man of all Time, I guess, is the official.

[Brady Bogan]

That's a big award.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's. It's a big award I'm getting on Saturday from the Arizona Pet Project. I'm being named Human of the Year. That's not this huge. Wow. It's huge. Human of the Year. All the humans. There's been about 8 billion of them. Me gonna be named Human of the Year. It's. I'm a hero. I'm a hero is what they. All the other winners are dogs or cats. One's a parrot or a lovebird actually named Rio. But then there's me. So a Saturday out there the. With that place called the Lux out there in Scottsdale. Big to do suits, ties, all that stuff, and I'm gonna be named man of the Year. He's never had another award. Yeah, just another one to stack on the restaurant. But the bad thing is they made me do videos and stuff. They're like, can we film it? And all I said was, I don't. I honestly. It's a nice thing that they're doing, and it's very sweet of them to. To include me in this kind of stuff just for work. I don't do any of this for attention. I don't want. I do a lot of stuff that no one will ever know about because I don't want. I don't want charities to turn and say, this is about you. It's not. But then when they start tagging the phrase man of the Year, and they can't help but go, all right, sounds awesome. I just don't want it. But it is such a nice group of people, and. And it's really great. So you can. It's another. Just this. This is a great. The Arizona Pet Project. Is an amazing thing. It kind of encompasses tons of different charities working together and. And they're. It's just an amazing thing. Leanna does this every year, and I've been part of it the last few years. I've gone to their events and stuff like that and done what I can to help out, and some or another, they surprised me with this. So Saturday I have to go. Worst part is I have to go put a suit on and, you know, set the Chateau Lux.

[Dick Toledo]

Annual Hero Awards.

[John Holmberg]

That's right, Hero Awards. And I'm hero of Human hero of all times. It's the last one they're ever going to do next year. Next year they're going to shut her down. Because how can you have. It's like being named sexiest man alive. Like, how come I'm still not the sexiest man alive? Next year was the guy that beat me more alive. So there I am on the list of heroes there. Brady on the site. Look. That. Yeah, that's me. You notice I'm not holding an animal. It's just. I'm the human of the year. Frank and Bruno. I wonder what they did. Probably something less than me, I would guess, because otherwise Frank would be hero of the year. And he's not as human. He's just. He had to have his dog. Most of the people up there that are being honored are just owners of pets that did amazing stuff. They're. They're not just great people. We do it all. Like me. Thank you, Brad. I didn't want to say it out loud. You did.

[Brett]

Somebody had to.

[John Holmberg]

It's a great group, and if you want to help out or anything you want to do to hand over cash or be part of it. It's a big fundraiser as well, so it's a very nice thing and it's pretty cool. And I've been there a couple years and, man, they've. They've done some serious fundraising for all the pups, and Tito's is involved. I love that they're always there. They're a big. You know, that's the bet. The vodka I always go to is Tito's because they do so much dog charity stuff. So I just wanted to say thank you for this kind offer. They're going to run the video of me saying, I don't want this. And people will laugh. But I. It couldn't be more serious. I don't like.

[Dick Toledo]

Wait a minute. You're not going?

[John Holmberg]

I'm going.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, you're going.

[John Holmberg]

But they run this video of you. They like. She Took. They came and did a question thing and filmed it. And like, why? What makes you here? I'm like, I don't want to do this. Well, that's exactly what makes you the hero. I'm like, no, no, no, you don't understand. I don't like attention for these things. But I mean, if you're gonna call me man of the year, it sounds.

[Brady Bogan]

Like an Elvis movie. Come on, Jim, sing us a song.

[John Holmberg]

Possible Singing a song. Come on, Elvis. I couldn't do it. I'm back. Look, guys, I sing when, I sing when I wanna sing and dance when I feel like it. But it is a nice thing and I want to be nice to them. I don't want to, I don't want to scoff at it because it's a very nice honor. But it's also a thing where, you know, but that was the, the double edged sword of it. I, I do this because I don't include my name if I donate. A lot of the times it's just if there's an anonymous button, I'm like, oh, thank God. Because I don't want to, I don't want to be thought of as the person that did this for attention. But that's the way this looks and it's ugly. But they're such a wonderfully kind group of people that it was really hard for me to tell them don't. Although I did. If you go back and look at the first emails, we want to do this. I'm like, absolutely not. No, I don't. Don't do this. And they just did it anyway. That's how much of a great person I am. Despite me saying no. They're like, there are no other humans we can give this to after you. Like, they'll know that they're our second choice. I'm like, I guess, I guess that's a way to put I'll do it for the sake of humanity. I guess. I guess that's what makes me the recipient of human of the year of all time.

[Brady Bogan]

I'll close it out.

[John Holmberg]

I couldn't possibly get up on stage right now. Take it. He's a baby. I'll work all day and my feet feel just like that. He's doing it. But I don't have to give a speech or anything. I just have to. But I'll have a trophy and that's nice. But again, thank you to them and anybody wants to help. And if you want to nominate a hero for their next year, their store, the stories of the the, the Animals and the people and all the work that gets done there, they're the real. The people who actually do the work are the heroes, you know, they're the ones that actually should get the awards. I just show up, I talk about them. That's. How hard is that? But yesterday at Tactical Black, I'm out there and I told Tony my. One of the trainers up there, Tony Sprague, he's a good dude. And I said, I don't want to. I don't want this. I don't want the attention. He goes, but to be honest. Honest, you talking about it is why I have a dog and why I did that. I'm like, ah, for Christ's sake. You're right. I am great. And so I had to move on from there. I'm trying to tell people I'm not. They just keep telling me I am. And then they give me trophies. And it's hard, Brett. It's not easy being me.

[Brett]

I can't relate.

[John Holmberg]

No, you can't. It's impossible. As low as you are, it's amazing. You don't have any of those words that say you're the best person alive on the planet at this current time.

[Brett]

None of us do.

[Brady Bogan]

Ouch.

[John Holmberg]

No. Nobody does but me, right? Starting Saturday. Unless I die before that. But I'm not gonna wear it as, like, a medallion either. I mean, that would be wrong, but all right, I will. Okay? I will. You guys have twisted my arm.

[Brady Bogan]

It's an eight foot tall trophy.

[John Holmberg]

That's fine. I'll drag it. I'll put it up on the front of my jeep.

[Brett]

It's gonna be like the Rocky statue in Philly.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's. It's. It's embarrassing is what it is to be this great a stuff and have people acknowledge it. It's just so. It's embarrassing to be wonderful and have people know it. So hard. But again, all tongue in cheek, thank you to the pet project and Ms. Taylor and the gang over there that's doing all that stuff. I don't know what to say about these. I'm very. I'm very embarrassed by this incredible honor of once again being named human of the Year of all time by the Arizona pet project. Tony, 2025 hero honorees me and then some dogs and a bird. Rio Real's a bird. Real's a lovebird. You know what I don't understand, and maybe I should look into this. When I first moved into my house and Brett, you were there that day. That backyard of mine was full of those Lovebirds, just chock full of them. North Phoenix had a lovebird population issue. Some jackass got hold of these cute little parrot like birds and they got loose and they made more and more and more of them. And there were probably 80 in my backyard at any given time. There were everywhere. And they're chirpy and they're. But they're so cute and they're pretty. It's like your backyard turned into a weird Tommy Bahama or like, you know, like you're at a good Margaritaville. They're gone. Like, I don't know. Over the last 12 years or so, they've dwindled. They used to fly by. I'm like, oh, the lovebirds. And they would shoot. I don't know that they're still in.

[Brady Bogan]

Mesa and are they. A little bit.

[John Holmberg]

They moved. Are they lose their jobs?

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know if they.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we gotta pack it up, move to Mesa, guys. We're. We're gonna have to go over there and trailer park now. Yeah. Because it used to be, like, over. All over North Phoenix, and then now they moved.

[Brady Bogan]

You'll see a couple, you know, at the Legacy Golf course, that one house has a little fee over in South.

[John Holmberg]

Phoenix, like four or five of them, but really? Yeah, I used to have tons of them. They're all dead. And maybe Rio's one of them. Rio is one of the honorees, and he's one of those lovers. I also noticed that they went from being like, orange and yellow and green to light blue and black. Like, there was this weird transition.

[Brady Bogan]

Those could be parakeets.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I asked. They were lovebirds. I asked the guy, I'm like, what's that? He's a lovebirds. They have a different kind. So the blues took over. So they started showing up more blue with little specks of red.

[Brady Bogan]

It's got to be diet.

[John Holmberg]

And. Yeah, maybe. And then they started to turn a little bit black and that. But the blues were explosive, especially up against that black. Their. Their uniform change was great.

[Dick Toledo]

So the Maricopa Audubon Society encourages people to report observations of these birds, including the date, location, and number.

[John Holmberg]

They're killing them. Doesn't say that. Yeah, they are calling them. Why would I report them? And then they start disappearing.

[Dick Toledo]

Says they began tracking their history in the mid-80s because many had escaped from captivity and started breeding.

[John Holmberg]

Boy, did did they. And they were doing it in my backyard.

[Dick Toledo]

Regular city park and backyard visitors to many greater Phoenix neighborhoods.

[John Holmberg]

I have to think it's my dogs that chased them. Off.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But they didn't care about them at all. I think they were just kind of like. There's an awful lot of activity in this animals, though.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You know, they don't like fooling around where they used to be able to freely walk. And others three legged pit bulls yelling at them. And it looks a little Guadalupe for them, which may be why they moved anyway, back to what we were talking about before. Oh, yeah. Me being man of the year of all time.

[Brady Bogan]

Best.

[John Holmberg]

Best human. That's right. Best human of the year of all times. That's when they started going real blue and then the blues started to Toledo showing a video. Then the blues started to become more prominent. They were in my palm trees. This might be in my backyard. My palm trees were covered in these things for a while. Yeah. And it's because some jackass let loose his lovebirds. But they're everywhere. And they show up in summer, which was weird because it was so hot and sometimes it was kind of almost Disney like. But maybe they recognized also that I was the greatest human of all times. Isn't that. No, no, it's a love bird. I would go outside and I'd walk by the palm trees and I'd hear. And I'd look up and one's head would be out like, how you doing? I'm like, I'm good. How are you? Like, he'd say hello talking to you. Yeah, it was. It was interesting. So. But they carved up my palm trees too. There was a certain after when they'd start making a lot of noise, I would throw the hose up there. Let's go somewhere else. Let's. Let's move on.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, that's why they left.

[John Holmberg]

That's why they started getting a little mouthy. And don't tell Rio, who's also a hero this weekend, that the greatest human of all times was hosing off his family. But it was enough already. Pigeons have kind of come into play too. And they're carving out some holes in those things. I throw some. I throw some water there directly, John.

[Dick Toledo]

I see them all the time in Tempe, on the outskirts of asu.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, okay. So they're gonna be sluts soon or have herpes. Okay, I see what's going on. They ended up over at asu, where all the partying is. Anyway, thank you to the Arizona Pet Project. In all seriousness, that's really nice. If you're interested in looking, you can go to azpetproject.org you can see there you can actually still buy tickets I think for the event on Saturday, if you're interested in that, help out the cause because it's really good. And again, we'll have like auction items. Oh, the auction items are amazing. And also the. I don't know, it's just one of those things where all these people that do this work deserve the attention because as I've always said, this, this animal world that we live in, in this city and all major cities. Humane society lost our home, Pet rescue, the pet project, all these people that my, my. Our friend Erica that works at Incredible staff and does amazing stuff. It is a never ending ice mountain that they're trying to climb and they will never. I can't imagine being part of something where you know for sure there will be no ending. Like you, you know, if you started to build a building and say, well, there, this, these blueprints, the pages keep turning and we never get anything like a floor built. We got 30 floors to the top and we still can't get the first floor built because every time we build it, it collapses with the new. It's never ending. And they still go to work every day trying to make the difference. And that's amazing to me. So if anything, me being human of all times, it's this right here to tell you guys about the real good people that do that kind of work. So if you find a charity you love and, and be part of it, they'll probably never name you greatest person alive. But you can tell them that you knew me. In a weird way, I'll. I'll deny it if we ever see each other, but it's true.

[Dick Toledo]

Almost. School in the 60 over by Larry's neighborhood.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they're in Larry's neighborhood now. They converted.

[Dick Toledo]

Maybe they don't know.

[John Holmberg]

I see shalom. Shalom. That's 98 Kup. Home of the greatest human of all time.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Dick Toledo]

No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I've heard enough of this. Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Oh my God. As human of the year, I have to tell you this story that just popped up here. This, this is awesome. Mitchell Ring and Jennifer Colin were on a flight from Melbourne, Australia to Venice, Italy, via Doha, Qatar, Cutter. When a woman collapsed in the aisle next to them and died. That isn't a small flight. Anywhere from Australia to anywhere is too goddamn far. You're flying forever. You don't realize you're going into the Pacific or the Indian Ocean unless you're flying to Jakarta or, you know, somewhere in Japan. And even still, it's just so far from every everywhere.

[Dick Toledo]

But you're going not even halfway from here.

[John Holmberg]

What's that?

[Dick Toledo]

I don't think Japan's even halfway to Australia. From here.

[John Holmberg]

From here. Oh, no, no. If you're coming from. I'm talking about Australia, other Japan. Even if you're starting in Australia, everywhere Australia is, is far from everything. And it feels like everything's like three hours even when you're there. It's like, where do we have to go? We have to go from Sydney to Cairns. How long is that? Three and a half hours. That's like Miami to Boston. You're like, you forget this thing is just a big blob in the middle of nowhere, but it's great. So these guys get on their plane from Melbourne and they've got to go to Venice. Well, in the middle of the flight, lady drops dead right next to him. And they're like, can we move? And like, no, flight's full. They put her in the seat next to them and put a blanket over and just. You're flying with the corpse for a while. They're gonna fly with this corpse. That would be the best flight ever.

[Brady Bogan]

No, didn't you say that they put.

[Dick Toledo]

A dead lady in the eye?

[John Holmberg]

The dead lady I had. They laid her head down. She died on the flight from Dallas to Phoenix. And that was. Trust me, when there's a dead corpse within a couple feet of you on a plane, suddenly your flight feels like you're in a headwind. It. It can be from here to Tucson. It's going to feel like the longest day of your life. Yeah, it's just a. Please land in the island.

[Brett]

What you have to do. Step over to go to the bathroom.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody's allowed out of their seats. So she was in the aisle for a minute, and then they popped. They got her back up for a minute, but then they had to lay her down again. I moved to the row behind me after she died on me. And then they got her laid down on the seats and her feet were out. And they're like, we gotta get her level. And somebody moved her to the floor. It was a dentist doing the work. Because they didn't have any doctors.

[Brady Bogan]

I thought maybe they had a hangover.

[John Holmberg]

It was like, is there a doctor on the flight? And you've never realized that when they say, like, that's a real thing, that they'll go, do we have a doctor on the flight? And everybody goes, oh, no. Cause you know, the only reason you'd ask is cause something terrible's happening. You see an old lady laying dead in thing. But. But again, on my flight to Australia, I had to sit next to a lady. Check that. I checked every day to see that the row I was in had an empty seat in the middle. And I'm like, nobody's gonna buy that middle seat going to Sydney at all. And I can fly. It's almost like being first class. I'll have this space last minute. Like the day of the flight, this lady books. So I had to sit three across for 18 hours. It's brutal. If she'd have died, we could have done whatever. She'd have been a pillow. Or halfway through, you'd been like, all right, she's not gonna notice. They just put a blanket on her. That's even better. Nudge her up against the corner like a pillow and lay down. That's the bench. He's not gonna pull a Brady. So what line of work are you in, Chief? Oh, no. 18 hours of chatty cat or start dropping ass. Yeah, sorry. It's 18 hours. You're gonna get a few of those. But they sat her right there. The wife actually got to switch seats, but Mitchell, the husband, didn't. He said he asked to move one seat over in an empty seat, and they said no. There's a few spare seats there, but they said, no, you can't move. You gotta stay. He said he's traumatized. Of course he is. He's got lawyers that are gonna try to make him sue for sitting next to a corpse that long. What are they supposed to. To do? I don't know. Dump her down there. If there's a panel for corpse, I've.

[Brady Bogan]

Seen it in the movies.

[John Holmberg]

Have you? What movies? Have you seen the corpse get dropped into the.

[Brady Bogan]

Not the corpse, but they open up a panel.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. Air force One. What other movies?

[Brett]

Just throw her in the can and lock the door.

[John Holmberg]

Now, there is that option.

[Brady Bogan]

There's usually that little.

[Brett]

Usually a couple bathrooms, almost.

[Brady Bogan]

Little closet in between first class and the. You know, that puts the. Like if a guy's wearing a coat. A hanger closet.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you just hang her up, put them in there. Guy said that the biggest problem was while the flight was going on, the blanket would slide off her face and he had to pop it back. I was like, it was a dead body. But it wasn't that dead. I mean, Nathan Sutherland. It's a pretty weird flight he'd still be on. Oh, it's weird, but it's a great look. There's a certain time when you have to just say, I paid for this story. I get it. A lawyer can get in your ear and start saying, you know, you're entitled to a million dollars for having to sit next to a fresh corpse. But it's not like they were dragging them out of the morgue and she was like unfreezing. She was alive when the flight started and she was still warm.

[Brady Bogan]

Was there any release or anything like that?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know, Brace.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm wondering.

[John Holmberg]

Those are the details.

[Brady Bogan]

You asked. Well, I'm wondering like, if turbulence.

[John Holmberg]

Did she jerk about him off? What?

[Brady Bogan]

No, no, no.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just talking about corpse. I see fluids. Sure.

[Dick Toledo]

I think it takes a while.

[John Holmberg]

No, Brave. The man did not release on the corpse. That's illegal.

[Brett]

But there's nothing Glade and spray her down just in case, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Give him some air freshener and go. If it starts to be weird, hose it. Maybe she pooed. There's a chance of that. Your body lets go. Anyway, there's. They said that the seat, the blank blanket, they had a little body bag thing, but the blanket was on there and it kept like kind of exposing her.

[Brett]

So she's the adorable blanket that she got when she made her donation.

[John Holmberg]

That little shriners. Teddy, Mitchell and Jennifer are clearly shaken up, but they say they're trying to enjoy their time in Italy the best they can. You are enjoying life more than anyone in the world. You are telling everyone in Italy your story. It's you told. TMZ has it. A day later, you won't shut up about this.

[Brett]

You're going to Italy. Get used to dead people around you.

[John Holmberg]

Don't worry about it. You're going to be sitting next to some dead down there, too. And you, ironically, you went to Italy to visit, like, graves and old stuff. You love dead, old things. That's why Italy exists.

[Brady Bogan]

You think you took the neck pillow. Like, you're not using this anymore.

[John Holmberg]

She doesn't need any extras. And you get her peanuts. Like, when that lady walks by, it's like, can we get peanut? You got to ask her too. She's a paying customer. I get her peanut peanuts and her meal comes. They plop that down. I got two meals they can stretch out.

[Brett]

Use her tray for all your other stuff.

[John Holmberg]

And I know from my experience flying from LA to Sydney, Australia, and that godforsaken forever flight, they keep you busy as can be. Like, you try to sleep, but they're waking you up like every couple hours for another Meal they don't want you, like, bored and getting up, like, to try to keep that thing going so you have snacks and drinks. It's crazy.

[Brett]

Brady's booking his flight right now.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God, Brady, you would love it. I think I got five meals. Like, meals.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

On the way to Australia. I've never been in a plane that long. I don't ever want to be on a plane that long again. But it was.

[Brady Bogan]

It was three just to England.

[John Holmberg]

Five meals, five movies, and there was still six hours to go.

[Brett]

Did you fly business or were you like.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the. No, I. I coached. I was. I was not in a position to fly any other way, so we coached. It was 1999. It was before 2001. So, like, there were empty flights sometimes. So we. We tried to choose one. That was an odd time.

[Brett]

Oh, nice.

[John Holmberg]

So there. But that lady, this little woman from New Zealand sat next to us, hidden, dead for your first time. Oh, no. Are you gonna talk to. I hope she dies. Anyway. They're trying to talk to Qatar Airlines. Like dead bodies on a plane. I should be so lucky. I pray that the person next to me on a plane dies. Please let this person drop dead immediately. Especially if they do that weird sit down and then their head turns to look at you and measure you to see if you're one of them or not. I have seven kids. Want to see all the pictures ever of them? I have over a hundred thousand. No. My proudest moment ever was on that plane from Chicago and that lady sat next to me. We weren't even like two seconds. She plopped her ass down in first class. Sal, what is it you do for a living? And I just turned my head and I stared at her. Didn't say a word, just stared at her. She made some weird noises and didn't say another word. It was all I could do to not just burst into laughter. I don't want to talk to you. I don't to be. I hate airline chatty Kathy's John.

[Dick Toledo]

Couldn't they have strapped that broad into the jump seat near the cockpit?

[John Holmberg]

But then I guess the other option.

[Dick Toledo]

Dead face, would be looking at you.

[John Holmberg]

Staring at you the whole way. Having a body bag up front, like on stage. But why can't you stick her where the stewardess is and put the stewardess in one of the chairs? I know you don't call them that anymore. Serving wenches is what they prefer. But you put them in one of the chairs and you buckle the living in with the living and you plop her up by that door, no one can see seat. It is kind of a jump seat, but where the stewardess has to sit by the phone and every time the thing dings, that stewardess can hear it. So you just move, you shuffle. You don't.

[Dick Toledo]

Like Brady said, we've seen it in movies. Take one of them carts out and just shove her in that space.

[John Holmberg]

Or make the offer. We've got a corpse on the flight if anybody'd like to sit next to it. We'll give you one free voucher. Raise your hands. Oh my. Everyone, the entire plane would like that. All right, well, we'll just parade her around. Around. Can I throw a finger in it? You can't touch the corpse, sir. No, you cannot. Mr. Sutherland, please. Boo.

[Dick Toledo]

John, can you get your old friend Strong Bear on the horn? Because I got to know if her ghost is stuck in the sky or is it just on that plane?

[John Holmberg]

Or was she like Amelia Earhart and she died doing what she loved? Yes, that's a good point. Is she? Is that her perk? I don't know if that matters. I don't think that's a thing. She's stuck in that tube forever. Stong Bear has spoken. All right. The corpse is asked to be moved again. I know that sounds strange, but we put her next to Mr. Bogan and she's rather die again. Can I eat them chips? Yes, you can handle thin chips, Mr. Bogan. But please.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, they're gonna take care of us.

[John Holmberg]

Stop with the flatulence. The corpse is complaining. She really stinks. It's not me. I tried to blame the body for the farts. I like to fart on planes. That's why they call it the death tube. No, that's why you call it the death tube. Those farts recirculate and you breathe it in over and over. Raise the Smokey Bear. Of farts only you talk about farting this much on a plane. It's 918. We got hot releases coming up in a little bit. But if you're on a plane and you plan on dying, let me know when you're flying, cuz I love that opportunity. Sitting next to a corpse is better than a living person, that's for sure. Some stranger slopping, you can hear eat their chicken. We got the hot releases there. Next it's 98.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Dick Toledo]

No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. It's time for them. There are hot releases brought to you by our [e-mail]. save thousands, save time. Buy online new ac unit.com. and we are not far away from. From that mother effort. Kicking on. The other day, my house was getting a little warm.

[Dick Toledo]

I kicked mine on at night.

[John Holmberg]

Did you? At night you do.

[Dick Toledo]

I gotta sleep Cold.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, because it cooks up to. It was like 75 in the house.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's a little warm in the house.

[Brett]

Sleep.

[John Holmberg]

That's. That's too much. Okay, well, then yours is already on. See, look at that. We're in February. Our air conditioners are starting to think about it. And if you're thinking maybe mine's not gonna make it, or last summer was the last of it. And also, if you've got a unit that's like 10 or 11 years old and it starts in February and runs through, it's not. You're done. Don't run into this problem when you don't have to. And also throw the word Holmberg in the promo code and save another thousand bucks. Newac unit.com. be proactive. Don't come home from a weekend in Sedona to find that your house has boiled everything and all your candles are melted. New acunit.com save thousands, save time. Buy online new ac unit.com. i'll let you go first today. Toledo and the hot releases. What do you got?

[Dick Toledo]

All right. For games, there's only. There's only a couple out. And I just. I kind of realized we were just talking about being old. I'm too old for any of these games. These new games. I don't know. I don't know what's good and I don't know what's not. So anything that's released, I assume it's got to be a big game. This is Dollhouse behind the broken mirror.

[Brett]

Ooh.

[John Holmberg]

Right off the bat, it's imagery is amazing. I would like to make you a professional proposal.

[Dick Toledo]

Deep dive into the mystery of the Raven Hill mansion in this upcoming first person horror adventure game.

[John Holmberg]

You'll understand why.

[Dick Toledo]

Available on all formats.

[John Holmberg]

Sweden it was her s. We have been able to develop a drug that can stop the forgetfulness process. Oh, you don't forget anything. The images in this are. I would watch this TV show. Looks like an HBO show. By the way, I'm watching White Lotus on hbo or Thailand? Thailand. Oh, man. No, thank you. Based solely on the music they're using for the show. Like every time it breaks into another Thai song, maybe the ugliest language I've ever heard in my life.

[Dick Toledo]

Especially when you hear it.

[John Holmberg]

It's just awesome spoken. Just awful. It's not selling me on Thailand, that's for sure.

[Dick Toledo]

The next game is Monster Hunter Wilds. This is on all platforms too. So monster fighting game. Just a giant creatures you've never seen before kind of thing.

[John Holmberg]

And it's a dragon puss.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

It's an octopus Dragon. Dragon Puss is a good band name.

[Dick Toledo]

It is not bad.

[John Holmberg]

But I'd spell it D, R, A, G, G I N. Puss. Dragon puss. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

So Monster Hunter Wilds is out on all platforms now getting into the streaming services. This week on Netflix is Kate Hudson starring in Running Point?

[John Holmberg]

The Los Angeles Waves.

[Dick Toledo]

You're not gonna like this one.

[Brady Bogan]

This is the story of the upcoming family.

[John Holmberg]

The president of the Wave. She's president of a professional basketball team. That's not. Not real.

[Dick Toledo]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

This is like a Hallmark movie. She's like Genie bus the Los Angeles.

[Dick Toledo]

That's kind of what they're making her. And it's brought to you by Mindy Kaling.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's a Mindy Kaling joint. Out.

[Dick Toledo]

That's why you're out, man.

[John Holmberg]

Oops, sorry. I hit the wrong button. Mindy Kaling.

[Dick Toledo]

I missed this one last week. Debuted on Sunday. Tom Hanks narrates pretty American.

[John Holmberg]

Mate.

[Brady Bogan]

He sets out on an extraordinary journey. I wonder if he'll shake that salamander's hand. Filmed before.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Brady Bogan]

The SNL thing. He caught so much crappy. Wore malga hat.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus Christ. That is quite a reference to it. Yeah. He was on I'll help. I'll help. Brady's in the middle of his own thought, and he gave us half of it. In a character in Black Jeopardy, he plays a white hillbilly who wears the. And he acted like he wouldn't shake Kenan Thompson's hand, which was the joke they did the first time. And then some people went overboard in the conservative world and said that that was the reason SNL stinks is because they assume that everybody. Anyway, that was Brady's joke, man.

[Dick Toledo]

That was a wine.

[Brady Bogan]

Now he's bringing it to the north.

[Dick Toledo]

That was a window.

[John Holmberg]

No, he's not. No, you did. You brought it there. He's just narrated.

[Dick Toledo]

You talked about this before. This also debuted on Sunday.

[John Holmberg]

The Baldwins.

[Dick Toledo]

I watched tlc. Six animals, Two parents.

[John Holmberg]

They're so happy. A wild family. Oh, yeah. He killed someone. Get out your phone. Okay. Don't pee in that pool. Gross.

[Dick Toledo]

What's the matter?

[John Holmberg]

Happy Face. But a son lost his mom in the most unthinkable tragedy. This is never something to forget. And we're trying to parent through it. You're trying to do a TV show through it.

[Brett]

Making money off of this.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Brett]

That's all the money goes to the family.

[John Holmberg]

Bottom of my soul. That's actually. I don't know where I'd be if I'd. And have you and these kids. It's okay. Just ignore him. We've had bad moments, but we found our foundation. Yeah. They go to psychiatrists and stuff. And I understand they're going through a thing, but you're absolutely right. They're making money.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And the interest in Alec Baldwin now is. How's he doing considering he shot someone in the face? Yeah. You think all the money should. Or the proceeds should go to those kids? I think that would be an amazing thing if the Baldwin said, look, we've got plenty. I'm going to give all the money to that family.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Because this. This, you know, beyond what people think of the whole situation, this is a. This is the right thing to do. Because the only reason to watch that is see if he breaks down from the murder.

[Dick Toledo]

Out on HBO Max tonight, which again is going through another change. There's rumors that it's going to be brought. HBO is going to be brought back. Name change again. They're changing logos again and all this.

[John Holmberg]

So Maxton work. But H. I always wondered why they went with Max over hbo.

[Dick Toledo]

Over hbo. Yeah. So anyway, but on hbo, Max, whatever you want to call it is Eyes on the prize 3. A third part of a documentary is this one dealing with the civil rights movement.

[Brady Bogan]

Watch the civil rights movement on television.

[John Holmberg]

Great fraud. Those struggles that were in the 60s, they still today. If we unify, we would create a domino effect for peace. We're not just here for the moment.

[Brady Bogan]

We're here for a moment.

[Dick Toledo]

We stand and I rest. I'm about to do something of substance.

[John Holmberg]

We cannot win racial justice in the dark. Okay. It's not necessarily aimed at me, but I might be under six.

[Dick Toledo]

One for you, John.

[John Holmberg]

Sh. He's back.

[Dick Toledo]

Season four of Shy Tiger.

[John Holmberg]

H Boys. Here we go.

[Dick Toledo]

Tomorrow on Hulu.

[John Holmberg]

But your mom offered up a threesome with Cory's mom, so I'll give it a try. We won the no show, though. Have fun. He had to retire. Overdo it.

[Brett]

You know what Sudbury is like in the summer.

[Dick Toledo]

I thought he was a rat.

[John Holmberg]

Find his way. No.

[Dick Toledo]

You know, that's provocative.

[John Holmberg]

Come get it. Shy at your age. It won't be long till you're dumb, ugly and fat. Care to comment? It's. It's a character that you. And that show has a ton of heart, too. If you watch Letterkenny at all, the first four seasons of that show are hilarious. Shorzy is brilliantly funny.

[Dick Toledo]

Devil in the family. The fall of Ruby Frank Frankie on Hulu. Also. This debuts on Thursday.

[John Holmberg]

Also shores. He is the inspiration for the voice. My dog boss. Give your. He says it all the time. Give your cans a tug there, mom. Go grab a cookie for everybody and shut your yap.

[Dick Toledo]

The Ruby Frankie is the YouTube mama. Abused her kids for likes and clicks.

[John Holmberg]

My family and my children. I don't know what this is, but Ruby. Ruby has done it. Just crossed a line of abusive to just psychotic.

[Dick Toledo]

She had a really, really popular YouTube channel. It was about her and her family, but it was all just kind of the portrait behind the scenes.

[John Holmberg]

So wait, stuff on the Internet is, like, fluffed up so people don't see the real. Oh, okay. Our entire schedule revolved around about 10 minutes and she took that sweet ass over to the cookie jar and fetish. Why don't you hop up there and grab a cookie?

[Dick Toledo]

Cookie.

[John Holmberg]

Make yourself useful like a woman should.

[Brady Bogan]

Wasn't there another mom that got in trouble? Maricopa.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, big one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, for all that stuff. You see that one that just got sentenced yesterday for hacking her kids up with a meat cleaver?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That was right here in Phoenix, too.

[Dick Toledo]

That's fun. Part of the plan on Prime Video is House of David. This is for you, Brady. It's the story of David. Of David and Goliath. Famous him.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Can one stone change the course of history? Not real history.

[Brady Bogan]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

There'd have to be real giants.

[Brett]

Took three stones for Temple of Doom.

[John Holmberg]

Send me your J. Goliath. Some kid in a rock. This is already stupid. Create the legend. You hit anything in the temple with a rock, it'll die. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

The last one I have on Netflix is Toxic Town. It's the story of a UK town that was decimated by toxic waste. This sounds like a fun one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This one's going to be uplifting. Feel good, hit of the summer, then drank, then smoke. Sometimes children are just born different. Oh, it's got toes on its toes. We will build a town for the people of Colby on the back of a rapid reclamation of the steelworks. These are serious breaches. Like Aaron Brockovich in Ireland. All right. Enough. Yep.

[Dick Toledo]

So you get it? That's it. That's all I got. This Week.

[John Holmberg]

All right, Bert, you're up. Music.

[Brett]

All right.

[Brady Bogan]

Children have horns.

[John Holmberg]

All the kids here have horns. The hell's going on? On and moved here to have a better life. And her children grew horns and toes on their toes. Our kids have toes on their toes. And we blame you. Steel Works.

[Brady Bogan]

He's got a claw on his face.

[John Holmberg]

He opens mail with his face. All right.

[Brett]

Bon Jovi's releasing the 35th anniversary of slippery When Wet.

[Brady Bogan]

That's gotta be dry now.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man, it used to be wet. Now it needs some lube. Slippery when lubricated, cuz she's 60 something.

[Brett]

35 years.

[John Holmberg]

It's a great 80s rock album.

[Brett]

It's. It's great. Yeah, for its time.

[John Holmberg]

It's definitely dated. Oh, for sure. Yeah. What are the big hits on that? Photograph? No, no, that was one before.

[Dick Toledo]

Now photography. Photograph is Def Lever.

[Brett]

Oh, we're not a bad name.

[John Holmberg]

What's the one that Bon Jovi had? That was the.

[Dick Toledo]

New Jersey was after this one.

[Brett]

What was the Wanted man or the first one?

[John Holmberg]

Wanted.

[Dick Toledo]

Dead or Alive.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah, that was their first album.

[Brett]

Well, Runaway was their first Runaway.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know why I call the photograph Run Away then.

[Brett]

In and out of Love was on the second album. And this was the big one.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What else is on there?

[Brett]

You give love a bad name. What's the other. What's the other big one? Where they're flying Tommy and whatever the broad's name is. Working in the shipyards or whatever. Yeah, whatever. I don't know. Show you a big bonjour.

[John Holmberg]

Right? Yeah, yeah. So what? Brett the lyricist? Yeah.

[Brett]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

That one too. Who had the biggest bad shoes popping is. How does. How does Liv. How does that start? Now I know you've screwed me up.

[Dick Toledo]

Tommy used to work on the docks. You had that?

[John Holmberg]

I can think of that. That broad, Tommy is doing the broad. Weird stuff happened to Tony. Ah, damn it. Brat. I can't get it out of my head now. Play it, for Christ's sake.

[Brett]

Working on it.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody give me Living on a prayer immediately. Just need the first few notes so I can get that. Some broad thing out of my head.

[Brett]

Oh, it's not playing.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, for Christ's sake. This isn't fair.

[Brett]

Bon Jovi. You don't want to hear it anymore.

[John Holmberg]

I know, but I need to hear that so I don't hear your lyrics anymore.

[Brett]

My lyrics are better.

[John Holmberg]

They might be. Oh, I think I got it. You got it. There we go. Come on.

[Brett]

You want me to skip up a little bit?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Just Give me to the point where Tom. There we go. I got it now. All right, this is for all of you.

[Brady Bogan]

Down the street.

[John Holmberg]

What's the name that brought that? I'm talking about.

[Brett]

All right, what else we got here? Architects. Everything ends.

[John Holmberg]

Stranded on an island. There's nothing but the ocean now. Every second recording. Huh. That has 3D quality sounds. That's weird. Billie Eilish has that sort of production too. If there's. Wow. That's super clean.

[Brett]

There's no Tommy in his broad, but.

[John Holmberg]

You know, it'll work. That's one of the. That is one of the most liquid, clean sounds I've ever heard.

[Brett]

And we played this the other day. Disturbs latest one, I Will Not Break. It's a really cool tune.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I listened to it in the car a couple times after Friday. This is. This is straight off the first album. This is really good version. Disturbed and Dave Draiman was awesome. Almost a little echoey, but he was great Friday. He's always been pretty cool to us.

[Brett]

Gotta get to that.

[John Holmberg]

The only complaints I got when we played it Friday and have been since. It's like Disturbed does what Disturbed does. Look, if they deliver this kind of stuff and it's their signature, they had.

[Brett]

Some stuff there, you know, the last couple albums kind of like.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

It did seem a little like they were reaching to be Disturbed. This one just sounds like them again. Yeah.

[Brett]

New Kill Switch Engage. This is Collusion.

[John Holmberg]

Jesse singing. Yeah. We. We've gone through a couple of their single releases. Big Giant. Adam's still in the band, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. It's his band. That's right.

[Brett]

I heard him and Howard are doing a project now.

[John Holmberg]

So it's like, yeah, this is pretty good so far. Now it's going to get into that Kill Switch. Well, we know what they are.

[Brett]

Yeah. Black Label Society.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, is.

[Brett]

Lord, is that humongous?

[Brady Bogan]

Humongous.

[Brett]

Humongous. I mean, it's just Hum. Looks like he's wearing the masks from. From Heat. Remember when they.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Brett]

When they were in that armored car.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. It's just the old hockey. Yeah. And Sack is obviously still coming. Your.

[Brett]

To assume a wrestling suit.

[John Holmberg]

Black Label Society is the best garage band in the world.

[Brett]

I liked it until he got to the vocals.

[John Holmberg]

It's cool riff, by the way. Zach is aging beautifully. I thought he was gonna dive into being drunk. That dude's like male model. He's like Jason Momoa now. I saw a picture of him the other day.

[Brett]

I think he's quit drinking.

[John Holmberg]

He stopped drinking. He takes care of himself. He looks great.

[Brett]

And that'll bring us the game that a sweep in the nation. N word or F word? Today we have Snoop Dogg featuring exhibit. And this is. Please.

[John Holmberg]

I think I got it again last week.

[Dick Toledo]

I believe so.

[Brett]

And I'll give you one hint. I'll give you an exhibit is the one that starts off. It's not snoop.

[John Holmberg]

So we're saying exhibit is the one who says it.

[Brett]

He's. Well, he's the one that starts the song off. So it's.

[John Holmberg]

I'll say exhibit goes friendly. N word.

[Dick Toledo]

He's the one from pimp my ride, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Dick Toledo]

Go ahead, Brady.

[Brady Bogan]

I'm going with an F word.

[John Holmberg]

Go straight after what you're taking in. Friendly N. All right, well, I gotta go darken. All right, Come on. Hold on. Evil, evil, mean and poor choice. All right, here we go.

[Brady Bogan]

Throwing up a big ass W. Covered up the world, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

Listen, look, you ain't trying to hot box with me. I swing hard liquor going down by the second.

[John Holmberg]

Rad or hell, the underground. Did he say it? Exhibit.

[Brady Bogan]

Back it down from a conflict.

[John Holmberg]

The nonsense. Strong effort for Brady to win this one. Pin pimp it. Nice work, Brady. You get the strong F word out of exhibit. I thought for sure he was going to drop an end. All right, well, there you go. There's some good stuff out today at black label site is just a single or is it the whole album just.

[Brett]

A single right now?

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Everybody's kind of doing that.

[Brady Bogan]

We talked to the rest of the album for the next two years.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's the smart thing. Yeah, it's. You don't live off albums anymore. Singles are the way to do it. And then you get six or seven hours unless you're Taylor Swift and just anything you puke out. The teen girls laugh, rework them, do it again. Yeah, why not? There you go. Those are your hot releases brought to you by our [e-mail] save thousands, save time, buy online. New acunit.com use Holmerg and the promo code and throw another thousand bucks off that price. It's 98 KUPD.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually.

[Dick Toledo]

No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this. Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Almost done. Just about getting out the meat cleaver. Lady that I talked about killed her kids with meat cleaver. Ah. This guy says, lady who chopped up her kids with a meat cleaver was my downstairs neighbor in my apartment.

[Brett]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

She was schizo on meth. We found out days later because of the smell. Braden. Oh, Braden, email me back. Were you part of the trial at all as, like, a witness or anything that, like, those kids were young and they were asleep. Three of them or two, I think. I don't know. Maybe two. But, I mean, it is just the word. Meat. Clear. Cleaver. Yeah, cleaver to cleave. Designed to take joints from bones. Yeah, it's like the cleavers are designed to break through bones. Oh, she was sentenced yesterday, thank God. And the lawyer reading a little piece of that. I saw her, like, it sounded like she was getting emotional. So she's been around this for at least a year or so, so still gets her. Sorry, Braden. Man, I can't even grasp it. There's like. I remember it was like a mile from my house when I was watching the news one morning, and they said this morning on. It was like, 13th street, just north of Camelback. Two roommates got into a fight, and one guy pried the other one's eyes out. I got my car. I'm like, I'm going over there. Like, where did this happen? How close am I? It was further than I thought. But I go over there, and there's just. I mean, it is a sea of weirdness. Like, people just kind of walking their dogs for no reason. By this neighborhood. It's behind a car dealership. And then, yeah, there's, like, trucks and a forensic truck and all that, but they got goofy, and one pride the other one's eyes out with their hand. I don't know. I don't know if maybe I guess I could someday be so mad at someone. I mean, I'd pry out the eyes of a Baltimore Raven, but, I mean, that makes sense, because I'd be doing the world of fish favor. And that news would be like, hero helps society by prying the eyes out of a Baltimore rave.

[Brady Bogan]

Outside of that, like, seeing that crowd in the. The OJ Documentary after the drive and just line the neighborhood.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. Where they got it. Well, Tripp told me he was when he lived. When he lived in LA at the time. And he said, I was right down the road from the 405, and I knew where he was. He was coming from people. He was coming from Orange County. He was an hour away way coming up to 405. And he's like. So there was a reason why everybody showed up. He was down by Long beach for crying.

[Brady Bogan]

They had time.

[John Holmberg]

So they had plenty of time while he got up there. And they, that's why it was. They had time for signs and stuff like that. We only see when they're passing. But you forget OJ Was way down there by Disneyland when he was coming up initially because I think they were going to Mexico. Got about halfway down there. You know what, I'll turn around, we'll say goodbye to some more people. Give him the old OJ Goodbye, you know, I'm just saying. It's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our [e-mail] the home of tactical black self defense training. Just saw a video of a guy who went through, was getting a bat swung at him on the side of the road. Boy, did he do a perfect job of bat defense. They've, we've done that in the last few weeks. Bat defense, which is a blast. Yesterday we did crowd stuff like if somebody pulled a gun on you on a crowd crowd, how to disarm someone or get the gun out of the way without shooting the guys next to you. It's an entire process and it gets in your head and you're like, oh, that's simple. So I watched this video, this guy getting a bat swung at him. I'm like, that was perfect because he's obviously had training. And then the other guy gets out and starts to swing at him and he puts him to sleep with two solid moves because you never know who you're going to encounter. That's why it's never a good idea, no matter how tough or weightlifter or big you are, are to mess around because you don't know what that dude knows and vice versa. Bowing up to strangers is a bad idea nowadays. The MMA changed all that. Prison changed all that. You go to prison, those guys train harder than anyone in any place ever. So keeping up with bad guys is the goal. Do not be the one who accelerates the situation. Don't be that guy. They teach you that right away. Away. Reactdefense.com were there yesterday doing a bunch of great stuff. Had a blast once again and then threw about 130 pitches playing baseball afterwards. Love it up there. You can be part of this thing for the price. Just you cannot beat 199 bucks. Two months personal training, hands on right there at the house of bruise and you become a better version of you. Be a sheepdog. Stop being a sheep. Reactdefense.com it's the home of tactical black Brady.

[Brady Bogan]

Entertain me a Documentary called Matthew Perry A Hollywood Tragedy hit peacocks today. But you won't see any of the other Friends fellow cast members in this.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's not an episode of Friends.

[Brady Bogan]

No, but they, they wanted to interview them, you know, about this whole thing. And none of them appeared. The only one that did participate was Morgan Fairchild, who played Chandler's mom. She wanted to make sure that he was remembered for helping others with addiction issues.

[John Holmberg]

Sure.

[Brady Bogan]

There's a joint trial next to week for a doctor and a woman known as the Ketamine Queen.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

Both pleaded not guilty.

[John Holmberg]

But you just read 27 different doses of ketamine in his last couple days.

[Dick Toledo]

That's, that's not good, right?

[John Holmberg]

I don't think that's, I don't think that's good at all.

[Brett]

So I can take a stab at that one. Probably not.

[John Holmberg]

I drink a lot of soda and I know in a day I'd probably pop down 12, but even in two days and I drink an excessive amount of Coke. Zero diet Dr. Pepper.

[Brady Bogan]

At a fan expo in Vancouver on Friday, William Shatner, 93 year old William Shatner was in there talking to the Trekkies and he's talking about coming back. He's like, the only reason I haven't is the.

[John Holmberg]

He's not 93.

[Brady Bogan]

He's 93. But the writing, it just didn't seem right.

[John Holmberg]

Didn't like it.

[Brady Bogan]

And this guy basically introduced an idea to him and a concept.

[John Holmberg]

What is it?

[Brady Bogan]

He's not saying what it is. He goes, it's good enough. They got my attention. I'm meeting with him on Monday and Tuesday and we're talking about, I think.

[John Holmberg]

We'Re all gonna fly out to planet erectile dysfunction and start banging aliens in space again. That's exactly where I need to be.

[Brett]

It's Beverly Hills Cop 4.

[John Holmberg]

That's what it is. Exactly. Gotta recapture some of the, some of the stuff on Star Trek is actually not as good as the stuff we have now.

[Brett]

Some.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you know what I mean. Heck, they're using like the stuff on the ship, like all those bells and whistles that they're using. We could use iPads and touchscreens now. They don't have those on the Enterprise.

[Brady Bogan]

On the newer versions they've sure they updated.

[John Holmberg]

But I mean, drag Captain Kirk back in there. It's like putting your grandpa in charge of the iPad. He's not. I can't figure out any of these contraptions. It's all foreign to me. I wouldn't be able to do this. But everybody Drives so goddamn fast, he'd be slow. Turn signals on. The Enterprise is going around the space to the left. Go around. Just go around. My blinkers on. I did even constant. And why I pulled you over, I have no idea.

[Brady Bogan]

His golf cart on the surface.

[John Holmberg]

It's got a little plastic window. Nobody got too fast.

[Brett]

It's got the handicap placards. Good parking at the dock.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna park here. Right here, Captain. I don't believe we have a handicap placard. How wrong you are. Watch. I may park the Enterprise.

[Brady Bogan]

The New York Yankees are changing up something this year in the stadium.

[John Holmberg]

No more beards or. No, now all beards. They're going to all have beards again.

[Brady Bogan]

They dropped that policy. But they're also. They're not going to play New York, New York after losses, after losses.

[John Holmberg]

They used to play that when they'd lose. What do they play when they win? Roger Klein and the Peacemakers.

[Brady Bogan]

Billy Joel.

[John Holmberg]

What do they play? I don't know.

[Brady Bogan]

I don't know. I thought it was just. They just play that as a tradition after every game.

[John Holmberg]

It was New York, New York, I think. Well, maybe it is. Yeah. So if they lose.

[Brady Bogan]

Stop.

[John Holmberg]

If they lose, no New York. Got it. No, Sinatra.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

If they lose.

[Brett]

Yeah. He doesn't want to be associated with losers.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Sinatra.

[John Holmberg]

For God's sakes, turn it off, baby. I'm not out there singing for a bunch of no nothing losers. You lost to the Rays. That wasn't even a team when I was alive.

[Brady Bogan]

It put a list together. The highest average ticket price paid in every major sport. So in the NFL, Dallas Cowboys, it was Super Bowl 58.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I see.

[Brady Bogan]

Chiefs versus the 49.49ers in 2024. 12,128 bucks.

[Dick Toledo]

Championship games of all of them.

[John Holmberg]

Right.

[Brady Bogan]

The average price was number one.

[John Holmberg]

That was the average of resale, according to this. I guess that would make sense because the sweets get a like charge. Like 50 grand. Naturally. So I guess that would bring the average way up.

[Brett]

That Cubs World Series has got to be one of the games.

[Brady Bogan]

Number two.

[John Holmberg]

That's true.

[Brady Bogan]

It drops a lot after that. Super bowl number two was average price $991 for the NFC Divisional Game Commanders versus Lions.

[John Holmberg]

I would venture to guess it's mostly football because they have like 90,000 seats data. So they have a bunch more cheap seats. That would bring the average down.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah. This past college football national championship was number three. Notre Dame versus Ohio State, $2,637. There is a women's basketball team it was $557 average for Caitlin Clark's last home game at Iowa.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. Somebody paid 600 bucks to watch that.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

A lot.

[Dick Toledo]

Because that's the average.

[John Holmberg]

She's the only good one.

[Brady Bogan]

She's back in with angel reese.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady Bogan]

For a $334 average. Was their part four game where they played.

[John Holmberg]

I go watch that because that was actually 2024 and it was meaningful. Wasn't that the championship or like the second?

[Brady Bogan]

I think it was just their regular season. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's kind of the magic bird of girl basketball.

[Brady Bogan]

This is the first NBA one. $2,106 average price. 2024 NBA Final Game 5 Celtics Mavericks.

[John Holmberg]

Fleecing the Bostonians.

[Brady Bogan]

Your Cubbies got in at number eight for game seven of 2016 World Series.

[John Holmberg]

That's when I thought it would be too.

[Brady Bogan]

$2,919.

[Brett]

Was that the Cleveland home run? And then they came back and that.

[John Holmberg]

Was a good game. Rain delay. It's one of the best baseball games that's ever been played. That and the Diamondbacks Yankees Game 7, the 2 single best game sevens in my lifetime in the World Series. I can't speak for all those other game sevens that happened. Those were without a doubt, I mean walk offs. And then the Cubs had that. That was a monumental unbelievable game.

[Brady Bogan]

The Wu Tang Clan have announced their final tour. Till next it'll be stopping in Phoenix and on June 18, Footprint Center.

[Brett]

Did you get your tickets yet?

[John Holmberg]

Curb?

[Dick Toledo]

Can't call it.

[Brady Bogan]

That's how they have it listed.

[Brett]

Kirby getting her tickets yet?

[John Holmberg]

Daddy, daddy, the Wu Tang's coming. Wu Tang busy bones.

[Brady Bogan]

She's a big fan of Young Young dirty bell bastard.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he likes Young dirty bastard. Isn't old dirty bastard dead? Yeah, he passed away.

[Brady Bogan]

But he's got YDB replaced.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. The Young dirty bastard. We're going to go to then Chance the Rapper this weekend. Daddy, are you going this weekend? Is that when is it next week?

[Brady Bogan]

It's soon. The ninth.

[Dick Toledo]

Tyler the Creator.

[Brady Bogan]

Or is it Tyler the Creator?

[Dick Toledo]

I was going to say if it's.

[John Holmberg]

Chance, we grab her.

[Brady Bogan]

Tyler the Creator.

[John Holmberg]

You got to go see that. And you still haven't just given up and said give these tickets someone else. I'll wait in the car. You're not. I don't understand that.

[Dick Toledo]

Too much coin.

[John Holmberg]

Why he doesn't. Yeah, but it's so no really enjoying.

[Brady Bogan]

His numbers right now.

[John Holmberg]

You're going to go just so some kid doesn't go for free. That's basically why you're going In. Right. So Kirby doesn't give it to a friend like you because these tickets weren't cheap.

[Brady Bogan]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

Like handing 500 bucks to a kid.

[Brady Bogan]

No.

[John Holmberg]

So you're going to eat.

[Brady Bogan]

Want a parent to go. So there.

[Brett]

Why did you get nominated?

[John Holmberg]

Because none of them wanted to go. And he doesn't say no.

[Dick Toledo]

Hold on. I have a prediction. You offered.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, for sure.

[Dick Toledo]

You offered.

[Brett]

No, because then he had to buy five tickets, Right? Or four.

[John Holmberg]

I think he had to get four. Anyway. Yeah, it was through my guy said, you have to do four. I have to give it to you in a pack of four.

[Brady Bogan]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

So he had to buy four.

[Brett]

I'd have made one of the other parents do that.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Have the other. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

No, they were more than happy to take you up on your offer.

[John Holmberg]

You know what happened? Logan's gonna take him. Oh, let him go. That Kirby girl down the street's father got four tickets to the gay to the Tyler the Creator show. Should we send our daughter? Yeah, but I think we should have a parent go along. Oh, yeah? Well, that dip down there said he'd go in. Yeah. That is an idiot. He'll go. Thank Christ. Thank Christ for that dumbass dip. Brady Bogan, the neighborhood dip. That's me. I'm in. So understand you need a parent to go along. None of us are gonna do it. Ask the dip. You talking about me? Yeah. You should have just said no and just sleep in the car. But I understand you in two ways. A, yeah, you think you're doing the right thing by parenting. B, you're not giving $500 to some strange kid. Now, if his parents aren't gonna kick in. Nobody gets that ticket.

[Brady Bogan]

One at least paid one of them.

[John Holmberg]

But if someone offered you six Collector.

[Brett]

From one so far.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. Three are going.

[Brady Bogan]

We have a. We have three going right now. One ticket available.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you don't have. You have a fourth.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Why didn't that Ronnie go with you? Yeah.

[Brett]

Make her go. If you got to suffer so she wants.

[Brady Bogan]

And you do, but I think. I think if Kirby doesn't have a friend to step up. Yeah, I will. I will make her go.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Okay. Anybody buying that?

[Brady Bogan]

I'll put my foot down.

[Dick Toledo]

Here we go.

[John Holmberg]

Here we go. Honey, I'm home. Did you hear the dip on the radio this morning? Acting like he's gonna put his foot down.

[Brady Bogan]

She's gonna get the business.

[John Holmberg]

This is great stuff. What a dip. I know. It's what we always say. Kirby will have a third friend go. And then the second one's gonna be mad cuz she free. Right, that's what I'm saying. But you're willing to eat those tickets. You could sell both of them, make all your money back and then just sit in the car.

[Brett]

Or you can go to the H and H Ranch, hang out with John or something.

[John Holmberg]

Right, I'll go down there with him, go get dinner. I'll go to the RA room with you.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, we could do that.

[John Holmberg]

Sell your stupid tickets.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not doing that. You never jump on anything.

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, we do that. I would never do that.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not allowed. Yeah, don't shake your head like they pull a fast one on us. We know you too well.

[Brady Bogan]

Look, someone, a parent is going to be with them.

[John Holmberg]

Why? What are you going to do?

[Brady Bogan]

How old are they in the Rah Rah room, that parent?

[John Holmberg]

What's the problem? Right? In a suite?

[Brady Bogan]

Yeah, I might do that.

[John Holmberg]

Not doing nothing.

[Dick Toledo]

We know you what.

[John Holmberg]

It'S like I always told you. You entirely. Anyway, that's enough of us. We're all done. Larry's coming up next. You guys have yourselves a grand Tuesday and we'll see you tomorrow right here in the morning. Sickness.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, it's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool actually.

[Dick Toledo]

No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I have heard enough of this.