02-25-25 - JR Emails Asking Who Runs The Show - Wes Emails He Just Got A 1.8 mil Inheritance And Is About To Kick His Wife Out - Trump Impersonator Confronts Alec Baldwin As We Argue Mean Comedy vs Dark Comedy

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode Summary: February 25, 2025

Hosted by John Holmberg with contributions from Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo.

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1. Navigating Morning Radio Show Dynamics

John Holmberg opens the episode by addressing a listener’s curiosity about the internal workings of the show. A listener, JR, emailed asking, “Who runs your morning show and says what’s going to happen each day?" ([00:33]). Holmberg humorously admits, “I don’t know what I’m doing,” highlighting the spontaneous and often unpredictable nature of live radio ([02:07]). His candid confession sets the tone for an episode focused on authenticity and behind-the-scenes insights.

2. Listener Email: Wes’s Inheritance Crisis

The centerpiece of the episode revolves around Wes, a listener who recently inherited $1.8 million and intends to leave his wife because he feels financially ready to do so. Holmberg reads Wes’s email:

“I just inherited $1.8 million from my uncle. … I’m setting up shop in Phoenix. Maybe I’ll see Jewburg down there at the ranch apartment or Apatapity. … I’m 44 years old. I did okay financially, but I didn’t want the life I’d created. Now I am, and I’m setting up shop in Phoenix. … Thanks for being one of the very few bright spots in my miserable existence.” ([04:28] – [06:25])

Holmberg and his team respond with a mix of humor and pragmatic advice:

• Larry quips, “You’re gonna have a decent place. I gotta be knockout. It’ll be a 1600 square footer, and the HOAs are gonna kick your ass” ([15:08]).
• Brady emphasizes the importance of legal counsel, advising Wes to “Go see a lawyer today immediately” ([11:17]).

The discussion delves into Arizona’s divorce laws concerning inheritances, with Holmberg expressing skepticism about Wes’s optimism:

“If you live to be 80, that’s 36 years on a million eight. … And by the way, you got that inheritance. You haven’t started the divorce process.” ([09:49])

3. Exploring Divorce and Inheritance Laws in Arizona

The team debates the intricacies of Arizona’s community property laws versus individual inheritances. Holmberg shares a personal anecdote:

“My dad had it happen. He did go to Cordell, and Cordell, the lady who did the divorce, is named Miss America. No joke. That was her last name. … Now I have to take care of him.” ([15:55])

Brady adds authority by mentioning professionals at Cordell and Cordell who can provide legal clarity, while Holmberg continues to advise Wes to seek expert advice to safeguard his newfound wealth.

4. Mean Comedy vs. Dark Comedy: The Alec Baldwin Incident

Transitioning from financial woes, the show shifts focus to a recent viral incident involving a Trump impersonator who confronted Alec Baldwin. Holmberg narrates the encounter:

“He gets to Alec Baldwin and it’s all over the news today. And he berates Alec Baldwin while Alec Baldwin gets out of his car. … ‘Even though you murdered that woman in cold blood and you never said anything about it, kiss the ring and we’ll make it all go away.’” ([08:01] – [28:07])

The team engages in a heated debate over the nature of the impersonator’s actions:

• Holmberg criticizes the impersonator’s approach as “meaner than it is funny,” comparing it unfavorably to traditional satire ([29:47]).
• Larry supports the notion that the encounter “was a little too far” ([38:32]).
• Brady reflects on the implications for political tribalism, suggesting, “It’s tribal politics to where it's gonna kill the funny” ([33:43]).

Holmberg argues that Alec Baldwin’s impression of Donald Trump crossed the line from incisive satire to personal attack, especially after Baldwin himself was confronted violently:

“It wasn’t cool. But Alec Baldwin asked for it. … It was something that happened. … That's the problem.” ([38:33] – [39:07])

The conversation underscores the thin line between effective political satire and harmful mean-spiritedness, questioning the impact of such actions on public discourse and comedy.

5. Anecdotes on Social Interactions and Modern Life

Throughout the episode, Holmberg shares various personal stories and observations, adding depth and humor:

• Cruise Disgusts: Holmberg vents about family cruises, depicting them as “the most disgusting cesspool of humanity” ([04:28] – [06:25]).

• Uber Driver Frustrations: He recounts encounters with Uber drivers, highlighting the unintended social interactions that arise from rideshare services ([19:03] – [20:14]).

• Retirement Reflections: The discussion touches on the challenges of retirement, emphasizing the importance of staying busy and choosing meaningful activities over idleness ([18:00] – [20:15]).

These narratives serve to connect with listeners’ everyday experiences, blending relatable humor with candid reflections.

6. Closing Musical Segment and Final Thoughts

In the final segment, Brady introduces a musical lineup featuring bands like Pantera and Counting Crows, creatively linking song titles to the day’s themes:

“Pantera, for the show that just got announced yesterday. Bullet Boys, smooth up in you. … Holiday in the sun for Wes. Saliva, sex, drugs and a rock and roll.” ([54:33] – [55:36])

Holmberg wraps up with a final nod to Wes’s situation, blending humor with a touch of sympathy:

“Sex, drugs and rock and roll for you, Wes. … I mean, what would I do with my time? … To quote Baldwin, you’re done.” ([55:22] – [56:31])

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Notable Quotes:

• John Holmberg: “I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve been saying that for 25 years.” ([02:07])

• Larry: “You’re gonna have a decent place. I gotta be knockout. It’ll be a 1600 square footer, and the HOAs are gonna kick your ass.” ([15:08])

• Brady: “Go see a lawyer today immediately.” ([11:17])

• John Holmberg: “It was flat mean. It wasn’t funny to anyone who was like, in the middle or on one side.” ([28:36])

• Larry: “You’re welcome to come into the show.” ([43:43])

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Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully navigates a blend of listener interactions, personal anecdotes, and topical debates. From dissecting the complexities of sudden wealth and marital strain to scrutinizing the boundaries of political satire, Holmberg and his team offer a candid, humorous, and thought-provoking listen. Whether grappling with real-life dilemmas or societal trends, the show maintains its signature blend of irreverent humor and sharp commentary, ensuring listeners are both entertained and engaged.

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For more insights and discussions, tune in to Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD weekdays from 5:30 AM to 10:00 AM or visit www.98kupd.com.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. There you go. Thank you, Katie. And the Hobbs that's miles to nowhere right there and rolling through. A lot of people emailing in about just got a weird email from a guy junior says, who runs your morning show and says what will happen each day? That's a. Jeez, what are you writing a book? That's one of those. A couple questions for you now. Who runs your morning show and says what's going to happen each day? I'm always fascinated. People think that this is some sort of a plot, like there's some sort of, all right, here's what we're going to do next, boys. No idea how to do this otherwise. I know there are shows who do that, but Larry told me he was, he was in a little meeting or something and they talked about how it works at the other stations for mornings. And he just, he's shaking his head. He goes, I don't, I don't know what you're doing. And I'm like, neither do I. And he goes that like all these other things, like they just, he said that the Beth show, he had to listen to the end of that for a minute. So they just leave. They don't even like say goodbye. It's like it's all pre taped. Like, it just seemed like the show was just over and the next thing you know, hey, It's Hoochie Boy, 10 o'clock. How you doing? Like some new guy's there and he's talking about like, I don't know how radio's supposed to work. I know I'm doing it wrong, but.

[Brady]

I know some of the shows are first hours, like taped.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah. And then we definitely, things are worked.

[Larry]

Out sometimes the day before, too.

[John Holmberg]

Sure. This is my fault and I apologize for dragging you guys along on my Quest. This is how I think it works. I don't know what I'm doing. I've been saying that for 25 years. I'm just trying to play along. I appreciate you getting up as early as and just saying, never once going, shouldn't we tape more and leave at 8 like everyone else? I don't know. I think this is all I know. So when JR asked the question, who runs your morning show and says what's going to happen each day? It's my biggest fear. Coming to life through email, which is the imposter complex. Junior is the one that's going to walk in the door, go, I've been listening to you for a while now. You have no idea what you're doing. Do you know? Not at all. It shows. And then he points out all the things I've done wrong and then exposes me for the fraud that I actually am. It's everybody's imposter complex. There come to life when you get a simple email like that Junior subject line show. Who runs your morning show and says, what's going to happen each day? Nobody.

[Larry]

The wizard.

[John Holmberg]

Guess. Me, I don't know. Nobody.

[Brady]

Don't pay attention to the guy behind the curtain.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody. Just kind of go, I pay attention to a lot of stuff days before and stuff. Oh, he's emailed back, good Lord. Badass. Oh, thank God he's a decent human being. So just wondering if you had creative freedom in not having consultants telling you what to do. Oh, Junior. Yes. No, there are. I refused consultants about four contracts ago. I'm like, I will never sit in a room with somebody who's failed at this 10 times harder. It's the same thing I had with my guidance counselor at Dobson. I want some dude who sits there and tells me, when I was working in Kansas City, if that was working in Abilene, I was working in, you know, Fort Myers. Like, you've had a lot of jobs. You sure have. I've only had one. I think I'm. I think I should be consulting you. No, no, no. I know what I'm doing. I've been around the block. You've been fired 18 times. You're terrible at this. Any other job you get fired that often. You're terrible at it. The only other place you can actually get fired and rehired more is the NFL coaching. Otherwise, radio is just a bunch of failures that keep bouncing from. Luckily, cities don't care. He's been. They look at it as a badge of honor. So, yes, thank you, J.R. the question is, we have creative freedom. I don't know. I guess that's what you call it.

[Larry]

Pretty much.

[John Holmberg]

Pretty much. We do what we want to do, but it's not, you know, we're trusted. I'll say that. We're trusted not to wreck things so far. But don't go with these, you know, vagaries on their emails. Make me feel like you're the one that's going to wander through the door and let me know it's over. A couple more years, that's all I got here. People emailing about their booger stories. I'm not interested in any of that since the booker never ending. Say, hey John, I was on a cruise. The only one I ever went on or will go on. I don't understand those cruises where you take your kids thinking it's a family adventure and you're trapped on like a Disney. Those commercials for the Disney cruises. No thank you. There's just children running all over dirty and they're like, try a buffet. I'm like, do the kids get to go to that? Yeah. No way. Try a rock climbing wall. How often is it disinfected? Like every 10.

[Larry]

Live in our floating RV.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's a recreational vehicle of hillbillies within. You know, the outskirts has like the back end and the captain's course. Pretty nice rooms. So of the 4,000 other people on your vacation, 120 of them are decent folk.

[Brady]

Well, think about all the booger hands.

[John Holmberg]

All over every rail and staircase.

[Brady]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Larry]

Constantly holding rags in the pool.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the pool is more pissed than it is. Anyway, it says went to breakfast buffet on the cruise and watched a 7 year old kid, shorter than me, shorter than the sneeze guard, let one rip and spray snot all over the scrambled eggs and that was it for me. It was one of those sneezes where it all comes out and then hangs off his face. Cruisers might be the most disgusting cesspool of humanity. That's why you got to go to those. You got to spend the extra and do one of those river cruises. Even still you're dealing with people that are my parents did that and yeah, they look nice.

[Larry]

It was.

[John Holmberg]

You don't go. Way better than the all family ones. If your kid, if your kids allowed on it, don't go. Because I'll tell you this, no one wants to see your kid and certainly no one wants multiple children. Go on the one I went on in Alaska, it had that convention of midgets which was the greatest thing in the world. It was like having kids on the thing, but they were all adults. They couldn't even reach the buffet. This one says, john, I know you'll agree with us. Yesterday I went to happy hour with a guy from work. We're having a couple of beers, enjoying ourselves, unwinding. Suddenly he pulls out his phone, shows a video of his kid digging a hole or something kids do, and shows it to me. I was completely not interested. Then to the bartender and he's like, isn't it amazing? I just rolled my eyes. Then the goddamn bartender pulls out a video of her two kids showing a reaction from them when she tells them she's pregnant with another. Then they both say, oh, this is great. Then another one rolls over, Waitress shows a video of her stupid kid doing something else. I'm in a bar. There should be a rule. There should be a rule that if a kid's not allowed in, pictures of them are also not allowed. You're there to get away from kids. There's a specific rule. We serve drinks to keep kids away. It's like having a little force field of no children. You can't go to a bar and a happy hour. You know what they never call anything with children happy? Blank. It's not a thing they don't have. Like, hey, let's go to kids happy hour. It's the worst sounding thing in the world.

[Larry]

Kamikazes with the kiddos.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing happy about it. If kids are allowed there. The word happy fell off a long time ago. Happy hours. For adults to not be around their kids. It's an hour of the day. You get to be an adult. This is a good one here. Check this out. Says, hey, guys, I just want to let you know I'm out. No more homework's morning sickness for me. Don't get me wrong, I love this show, but if I wake up anytime before noon after the 3rd of March, it's going to be because I'm sick. I just inherited $1.8 million from my uncle. Like a Disney story. I'm leaving my wife. Oh, she's been making me unhappy for a long time, and I just haven't been financially ready to leave. But now I am, and I'm setting up shop in Phoenix. Maybe I'll see Jewburg down there at the ranch apartment or Apatapity. Nice work. If you've paid attention to any of the more recent music, it's Bruno Mars and Rose. It's been a fun ride, but my days of driving rideshare busting my ass and working for the man are over. I'm 44 years old. I did okay financially, but I didn't want the life I'd created. Now I'm gonna slay puss all day and do whatever I want. It's been real, boys. Thanks for being one of the very few bright spots in my miserable existence. Only four more days of being sad, Wes. Thanks for everything, Wesley. There you go. Congratulations, Wes. I'm glad your uncle's dead. Good for you. Go see. Yeah, that's pretty great. A million eight, 44 years old, has.

[Larry]

A little coming into it, you know, whatever he.

[John Holmberg]

Let's just say he's pulled half a half a million into this. He's hanging around. Two million? Yeah. Be broke by the time he's 50. And by the way, you got that inheritance. You haven't started the door divorce process. Guess what? She's getting some of that half. Thank you, Ed McMahon. That's right. Shoot.

[Larry]

No, I think you got to. As long as it's not if it's in a separate account. But. No, they.

[John Holmberg]

It's.

[Larry]

I think it's different on. On the inheritance.

[John Holmberg]

On inheritance, that goes to that person. They don't. That's not part of the accumulation of what you had while you were married?

[Larry]

Nope.

[John Holmberg]

No kidding. I hope you're right. You've looked into this Brady. I'm worried about you.

[Brady]

Take her on a van trip?

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Buy a transit.

[Brady]

Kind of worked in the past.

[John Holmberg]

Start driving around for a little while. Yeah. I hope Brady's right, but I would assume she's got a right to fight for it, that's for sure. Don't know how long you're married, but you're 44, so let's just put a 10 on that. Or a 5. 6. I'm not saying she's getting half. She's getting something. She's not gonna let you wander. And you better file those papers immediately so she doesn't get used to a certain lifestyle with this new money and then say, well, I can't go back now. I don't know what your situation is, Wes, but don't get too happy yet. And I love your idea, actually.

[Brady]

Go see a lawyer today immediately.

[John Holmberg]

Don't go emailing us. Sad. Wes. Yeah. Scott says be smart about this. Are you going to be listening to this show by the end of the year? Again, Scott, you're right.

[Brady]

Welcome back.

[John Holmberg]

Let's welcome west back to the program. It's like when boxers have to fight again and they're like, geez, you're fat now. I just love the sport so much. I'm like, you're broke, aren't you? No, I love boxing too much to step away. Oh, you're retarded and you're poor. No, no, no. None of that been happening.

[Larry]

So tell me about this movie you're doing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I've invested in a racehorse. Oh, Christ. We'll see you in nove. I don't know about inheritance, Brady. I hope you're right. I'm worried. This one says, in the state of Arizona, you can't touch any inheritance in a divorce. I've learned the hard way. Oh, Donovan's chick got an inheritance in life. So when you get it. So that's why so many people get so excited about inheritance. They can finally ditch that loser and feel good about it and just walk away from every. Ah, that's. I've been bitching about that for years. Listening to people going, my uncle dies, I get like a million dollars. I'm like, why are you so happy about your uncle dying? I see now. So you can get rid of that tub of goo you've been married to for a while. Ah, no, string. That's news to me. I had no idea. I still imagine there's a lawyer out there.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

This one says, as a proud owner of two divorces, Brady is absolutely effing wrong. So now we have the counter of it.

[Larry]

Uh, oh, okay.

[John Holmberg]

Any income or wealth gener during the marriage is community property in this state. That's what I figured. But then Donovan says no, Brady says no, Jeremy says yes, and he's a proud owner of two divorces.

[Brady]

I know Cordell and Cordell on the phone.

[John Holmberg]

You need the professionals on this one. Yeah, Our friends over at Lerner and Row have a good divorce department. Oh, really? Yeah. I didn't know.

[Brady]

Okay, I thought right to them. Go over to Kevin and let's get Kevin in here.

[John Holmberg]

Talk to Kevin. I have to do stuff with him later today. I'll actually ask. I'll have. I'll have some answers for you tomorrow from the legal team.

[Brady]

Hey, he's got four more days to listen, so we're.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that's true. He's got to hang out with us for the rest of the week. Why? Why not just quit today? What are you. Deep down, you know you might blow this money. You don't want to burn bridges at work, Just quit. So, guys, I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to tell you all the off today. I'm not doing anything else. I'm leaving but, hey, congratulations, you're done. So this guy said he only gets 1.8 million from his uncle. We'll hear back from him in a month. He's gonna be gone in a month. It's not what you think it is. As far as you know, you gotta figure if you live to be 80, that's 36 years on a million eight. You start breaking down that math, you're like, oh, you're kind of. I don't know what you were making before, but if you invest, you could be smart enough. But then you can't touch it. And then there's taxes.

[Larry]

Yeah. If you don't touch it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Larry]

You say I get 10%?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If you're living off of it.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[Brady]

He's effed.

[John Holmberg]

Something, something. Check out Homburg's morning sickness [e-mail] Homburg's Morning Sickness. And you're only. Yeah, you're only getting 10% a year growth. And that's what you live off of. Maybe. But. Yeah.

[Larry]

Which wouldn't be bad. People look at 180k.

[John Holmberg]

I think what we're saying is, Wes, as wet blankets that we are, is you're not going to be the talent you think you're going to be based on your 10% of 1.8 million going in. Let's say you even got 2. 10% of that 200 grand. Now, you could probably do pretty well, but you're still not going to top level.

[Larry]

You're not yachting.

[John Holmberg]

No. You're gonna have a decent place. I gotta be knockout. It'll be a 1600 square footer, and the HOAS are gonna kick your ass. If you want to live downtown. That's the one thing about living downtown. I don't understand why anybody buy a place for 500 grand. You're like, this is crazy. And then the HOA is a thousand a month. It's an entirely separate mortgage payment. For what? Parking? So good luck, Wes. Keep us well. I wish I could tell you to keep a keep us up to date. I hope you're really good with your cash. Go over to that Trajan wealth and see what they can do for you. Try to find out about this inheritance. A divorce is going to cost you more than you think. Or maybe not. I don't know about the inheritance rule. There's more people. Everybody's been through this. Like, the sad thing is, everybody's been.

[Larry]

What's the latest update?

[John Holmberg]

It says my dad had it happen. He did go to Cordell, and Cordell, the lady who did the divorce is named Miss America. No joke. That was her last name. She's amazing. They told him he can't touch the inheritance, and now I have to take care of him. I learned the hard way, like I said. So he tried to get his wife's inheritance. I wonder if it's different for women since they're allowed to. Like, they have different rules and divorces now. You got to go out to Trajan, figure this out. Az law, divorce, can't touch it. Two marriage guys. An idiot. All right, so I'm getting more. If this is a vote majority saying that he can't. She can't touch her inheritance. I don't know.

[Brady]

A lot of these guys are up with us this early, so.

[John Holmberg]

That's a good point.

[Brady]

It seems like they've. She's touched a few of those inheritances.

[John Holmberg]

He's been out there. Oh, my. This one says, why not get a job and roll the dice? A1 means work for a week and get fired. A4 means four weeks and get fired. You're claiming you have fu money? This is what I would do if I was rich. Go grab some dice. And that dice, that tells you how many days you have left working. 1, 3, 4. Work a week and get canned. Or go in there and try to get fired and then email us back with a story of what you did. Piss on the vegetables. Anyway, thanks for emailing, Wes, and thanks for sticking it out with us until you were too rich to listen. I think I'd spend. If I got just a couple million bucks just handed to me, like, boom, here you go. I think there'd be a whole year of, you know, closing up shop, too. I would. Then you'd have to be smart. You know, people always say that. I always ask Doug Hopkins, I'm like, when are you going to be done? He's never, what would I do with my time? I have to have. I have to have a job. And I'm like, man, not me. And you give me FU money and you're hearing fu. I'm not coming in. And first sign of trouble, I quit. There's no possible way I'm going to allow stress in my life for work if I've got that kind of cash.

[Brady]

That was my dad. He always said of growing up, oh, I'll never retire. Then when he retires, I don't want to do a goddamn thing.

[John Holmberg]

And I can't even get him out of the house half the time. Yeah, some people. My dad still likes working, but he found new things to do. He's just busy. Yeah, but he doesn't want a job. He doesn't work for a dude anymore. It's. It's. I don't know. I. I have no problem. I talked to Jay up at Tactical Black. I'm like, once I close her up, I close it up. Oh, you'll. You'll need to be. You'll start a podcast or something, right? Like, no, sir. I will be disappearing from society. Gone. You'll never hear from me again. Like, why? Cuz. Done. Enough. Plenty. Whole point of working is so you don't have to work. It's like Mr. Miyagi, you work so you never have to work again. You work to the point where you say, I don't have to do this anymore. That's the whole point of a job. It isn't to put you in the ground and you can find whatever you want to do. If you want to keep working, do it. If you don't.

[Larry]

From a buddy yesterday. I'm in Orlando. I decided to.

[John Holmberg]

He just decides to move.

[Larry]

You know what I mean? No, just go there for a week and play some golf and come back when he wants. I'm gonna come back probably on Tuesday.

[John Holmberg]

Never know. Open ended ticket. Because you know why? He worked until he didn't have to anymore, and now he's doing whatever he wants. That's truly retirement. Doing whatever you want. Some people want to go work at Walmart. Some people do. How many times you've been in an Uber with a dude? You know, I retired early and I just need to do this. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're broke. I don't believe anybody retired early and just needed to get out there and drive people around the city unless they blew it. There is nothing to me that says comfortable retirement. Less than, why don't I pick up strangers and chat with them for a while?

[Brady]

Yeah, I don't see Bezos handing out samples at Costco anytime soon.

[John Holmberg]

The second I had to stay busy.

[Brady]

You know, Sam's on thing got, you.

[Larry]

Know, much, you know, we never made money.

[John Holmberg]

I stepped away and I said to myself, you know, I just want to be with the people. I know you're broke. Uber driver. The second you tell me I don't have to do this. Yeah, you do. The minute you say that. Yeah, you do. I don't need to do this. I do it because I want to. Nobody wants to do this.

[Brady]

I like being around people.

[John Holmberg]

Nobody wants to do this.

[Brady]

Go to a bar, for Christ's sake.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. Go Sit at a bar and drown your misery with the other weirdos. Go to the swiz. It's a soon to be Holmberg, Switzerland. You heard me best. Anyway, not allowed to talk about it, but yeah, go to the bar and go. What's your. What's the Matthias bar? There you go. Local legends out there in the East Valley. The Tap Dragon is a big hit. Head on over there and sit down and tell people, I don't have to sit at this bar. No, of course you don't. It's a choice. You're driving rideshare. Something's going on. You either hate your wife so much that you just. You'd rather sit with strangers and drive them to the Scottsdale Airport from Glendale. I don't have to do this. You want to take surface streets? It'll take longer and then we can talk more. Oh, boy, oh boy.

[Brady]

Thank God for Waymo.

[John Holmberg]

But congratulations, Wes. I know. And that's why Waymo was invented. It's because you Uber drivers got a little chatty. At first, we thought we could quell the chatty Uber driver with a button on the app that said, you want it to stay quiet the whole time. We told him before we got in the car in the rudest way possible and a non confrontational way of saying, no talking. There was a button on there. Uber drivers got so chatty that we had to invent a button that says, leave me alone. I just want to sit in the back and stare at my phone and act like I'm busy with emails, when really all I'm doing is playing Vita Mahjong. So what do you do for a living? Stop the car. I want to. I'm gonna. I'm gonna call Uber immediately and ask for a please don't talk to me button. And they did it. Then they're like, it's not enough. The Uber drivers still sometimes talk Waymo. What we need is no driver at all. Is that possible? I'm like, we'll get right on it. The lack of wanting to be with another person drives technology. It's been porn for the last 200 years and suddenly it's Uber drivers talking to you has driven the Waymo technology through the moon five, six years ago. Do you ever imagine.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

When Uber. Uber first hit. It's like peak. You're like, this is the greatest thing ever. I can drink. I can do whatever I want. There's some dude who come pick me up. Twenty years ago, there was a service where a dude had a mini bike that folded in half. I Don't know if they still have that. And you call them up and go, I'm drunk scooter or something like that. Or I don't know what it was. I don't want to leave my car at the bar. And then he would scoot me on this little like 50 horsepower Briggs and Stratton homemade bike and it would fold in half. And he'd come and get you and stuff his bike in the back of your car, drive home, scooter back. Scooter back to the next dude. And we thought that was awesome. Then Uber happened. Then they got chatty. Now, Wayma, we're closing in on teleporting. It's getting there. It's getting close. The hover cars are actually occurring. There's that dude who invented those a little while. He's like, I got them. I just got a clear airspace now. In the next five years, these are going to be out there and I can't wait. Because they're Waymo based hover cars, so it wouldn't. You don't even have to learn to drive. It'll get you there. You don't need roads. You just need to tell it where all the power lines are. That's basically it. And I will be really happy to be one of the test people on that deal.

[Larry]

We need you. That's good.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I'm. I'm proud to do. I'll be happy to do it. And if I get cooked up like a myar balloon. Power lines right here.

[Larry]

You're welcome.

[John Holmberg]

Mark that down. Yeah. If I can make travel better for the future, I'll do it. But congratulations, Wes. I hope another relative with money dies soon so you never have to work again. I find it weird when you root for relatives to die so you get a better life, but. Sorry your poor uncle worked so hard to give your deadbeat nephew. I wonder why a nephew would get. I wouldn't never hand my money to a nephew.

[Brady]

No.

[Larry]

There'S a couple. I mean, you know, you could be uncle or aunt could have been raising that.

[John Holmberg]

That's true.

[Larry]

You know, because mom and dad were.

[John Holmberg]

That's true.

[Larry]

Down, out or whatever. Messed up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's true. I guess if you were like really the mom, because you always hear those.

[Larry]

Scenarios like, oh, or you have a aunt or uncle that was absolutely loaded. They just trickle it down to the wealthy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Wealthy uncles that start handing. But even still, if I was a wealthy uncle, a deadbeat nephew's not getting anything. I'll pat you on top of the head. But you know, probably gonna hand a lot of that to the Humane Society or lost their home pet rescue and tell this nephew, go get a life of your own. I had to do it. So I just got an Uber. The 44 year old female Uber driver says she's going to divorce her husband who just inherited money in four days. Can't wait for him to get out. That's probably true. I don't have to do this. That's how I know you're broke. Uber driver. I got one dude. The. Something was wrong. I had. I flew JSX and I had the Scottsdale airport to my house and he's. He's on Thunderbird and he goes, I'm going to probably end up going all the way to 51 on this. It's easier. I'm like, that's fine. It's good. Take, just take a minute. I'm like, all right. We get to the end of the airport fence. What do you do for a living? And I do the patented caskets. I make caskets. Ah. It's quiet. And I get worked. I'm back into pretending I've got a game on my phone that's working even though my phone was dead. You know, I'm a. As an engineer and a lawyer. Like, that's fantastic. How'd you blow it so you had to do this? What happened? I mean, what kind of drug habit did you get into with two incredible educations like that? Anyway, I don't have to do this. I just get out of the house. And when you're retired, you don't get to see people. That's a choice. You did that on purpose. There's bars, there's all sorts. You didn't have any friends in the time you. And then I realized, oh, engineers are weirdos. That's why I forgot. Ask any engineer about who they don't want to hang out with. And it's other engineers. They're very strange people. Engineers are odd. Add the word lawyer to that, now you're a pariah. So that's why he's driving Uber, is because nobody would talk to him for 38 years. And now he's retired. It's a decent car. It was a minivan. I'm like, people used to come in.

[Larry]

To talk to me.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but it was always problems. Nobody wanted to talk to you. They wanted you to solve their problem. And you didn't make friends out of it anyway. Nothing you could do. Also, the thing that's going on right now, now, people, I've got a Lot of emails from it. A lot of people said, you see the dude that does the Donald Trump. And very kindly, many of you have stated that I should do this. It's a. I do a better Trump impression. The guy's Trump impression is okay. That's not the point of the thing. He's wandering around and kind of attacking celebrities with this. He's attacking liberal celebrities. He's a very Trump friendly Trump impersonator that goes, I forgot his name and it doesn't really matter. But he. He's wandering around. So he gets to Alec Baldwin and it's all over the news today. And he berates Alec Baldwin while Alec Baldwin gets out of his car. And I guess he's coming back from a trip. He's got luggage. Or he's either leaving or he's coming back. But anyway, so the guy walks up to him and starts in with, how you doing, Alec? Everything good? You know, it starts kind of asking him, are you finally gonna come around and kiss the ring? So he's got a ring on his finger. I just want you to kiss the ring and all will be good. And he's kind of harassing him and Alex ignoring him. And then he said, even though you murdered that woman in cold blood and you never said anything about it, kiss the ring and we'll make it all go away. We'll pardon you for murdering that woman. I know she's looking down on us right now saying, thank go, someone finally confronted Alec Baldwin. And Alec then at that point turns and says he's going to break his neck or something. He says something terrible.

[Larry]

I'm going to snap your effing neck in half and then break your effing neck right here.

[John Holmberg]

And then I'll take that camera guy standing 25ft over the camera and I'll shove it up your ass. I'll shove that right up your ass. I am God. So it is a comeuppance because he got De Niro last. He went after De Niro. So he's going after the loud people that went after Trump. The loud celebrities that were anti Trump. And De Niro went off the deep end like he's a lunatic. He went flat crazy, screaming and yelling.

[Brady]

Like, calm down, I can't even stick up for him.

[John Holmberg]

Yes, and I know. And that's your guy. And it's the same as the right. When they go nuts about the left. It's something, something. Check out Homework's morning sickness [e-mail] Holmberg's Morning Sickness. There's that group of people that you're like, well, this can't be this. You can't be this crazed by, like, the people in the View can't be that upset all day long, can they? But that's what you think of them. So this guy does it and people are like, you know, Alec Bowen should have kicked his ass. Or that dude's got a set of brass balls. I'm glad he got him. Depending on what side you're on, I think means that you pick the side. Like, if you're super lefty, you probably are feeling bad for Alec Baldwin. And if you're super right, you love this guy. But if you're in the middle, you realize what it is is bad comedy. The guys, it's a very ballsy thing to do. But Alec Baldwin, to me, was the first person on Saturday Night Live that took the presidency to low blow attack impression rather than funny. You remember back when Dana Carvey did the first Bush president.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And it wasn't nice. He made him kind of dopey. You know, Chevy Chase did. Gerald Ford wasn't.

[Brady]

Ackroyd did. Jimmy Carter.

[John Holmberg]

Ackroyd did Jimmy Carter, Right? Yeah. What you got is, you know, on Fly Young California Sunshine. So, like, because I remember George Bush invited Dana Carvey to the White House and they stood next to each other going, great, great job. Really good. I really do that with my hands. And he was kind of making him a dopey weirdo. But it was in fun and Bush got it. Trump's not fun about being made fun of. And Alec Baldwin was flat mean. It wasn't funny to anyone who was like, in the middle or on one side. It was specifically designed for people on that side, period. End of story. Trump, Baldwin hated him. And it came across in the impression an oppression supposed to be the sincerest form of flattery. However, he was making Trump jokes about his family. He was making Trump jokes about incidents that had occurred in his life that were not favorable. You know, the porn star thing a few times accused him of doing crimes that were terrible. And maybe he was right. You know, there's some stuff Donald Trump actually did that was worth satirizing.

[Larry]

There was very little filter.

[John Holmberg]

There was not a lot of filter. And there was a whole bunch of attack, attack, attack. So the worm turns.

[Larry]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

A terrible event happens to Alec Baldwin. And now someone doing that very same impression that he thrived off of for four years, five, turned it on him and said, here's some mean jokes about your situation. And it pissed him off. Now, was it the best setting? Is it something I think is, you know, cool? No, it's not my style of thinking. That's great. But Alec Baldwin asked for it. When he turned the impression into an attack, he asked to be attacked in return. If, in fact, he didn't live a perfect existence. If you gave anyone ammunition that he made people hate him. Alec Baldwin's out loud politics and crazy Trump meanness made some people go, I hate Alec Baldwin, and if I ever get a chance to say so, I'm gonna. Right? So this dude decided to balls up and go after him. That's why political tribalism is scary. And he got him, Alec Baldwin, every bit right to say, I will break your effing neck. He was accosted in front of his home.

[Larry]

He's like, I did mine on stage.

[John Holmberg]

It wasn't cool. But at the same time, yeah, right? And this dude's doing it technically on new tv. He's filming it for clicks and likes on his page. So it was a random, uncool attack. But I always thought of Baldwin's impression of Trump. I'm like, eh, it's meaner than it is funny. It would be like me bitching if somebody. I put myself in that situation. And plenty of times where, you know, if it was. If terrible things happened to Dave Pratt, I'd be all over it. And if you confronted me and started a bash, I'd be like, hey, that's not nice. I don't have a right to that. I don't. If I'm not. If I have not been pleasant to you and your crew, and then I do something and I get banged on it, and you start make. I don't have a right to sit back and go, oh, that's out of bounds. There's no out of bounds. When you kind of kicked it first and Alec Baldwin kicked it first, De Niro was a little less of a deserving target. He just went politically nuts and made it known. So he made enemies by screaming, you're basically a racist retard. If you like Trump. And he pissed off people. And that's the risk you take by being so out loud about it. But now there's this kind of confidence resurgence in the. In the Republican Party loonies, where they feel like. They feel like they've been under attack for so long that they now feel comfortable that they can do it back. And I think you're gonna see a.

[Larry]

Lot more in court.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, fine, Okay. I think you're gonna see a lot more of that. I Think you're gonna see a lot more people who have kind of been hiding their. Their Trump feelings a little more confident that the light's shining on them a little brighter than it was, and they're gonna get a little bit mouthy, and there's gonna be some mean coming back. And the only person to blame for that is the mean on the left. Because it got mean. Sure. And maybe some deserve. But not necessarily. But when it came to comedy, it got mean. Very mean. And some people think that that's, you know, I've done that. Or we've been around that. We've been sure we've attacked some mean Alec Baldwin. I think that story's atrocious. And I think one of the dumbest things Alec Baldwin ever did was that drive after he shot that woman, accidentally or otherwise. Told lie after lie about why it happened or what. You know, just sit back and go, I don't know what happened. You don't try to make a story. Then he pulls over to talk to the press about how he can't talk to the press. It became this obvious, I can't ignore cameras thing. And then I don't know if I shoot a person in the face and take a woman away from her family, accidentally or otherwise. The last thing I'm gonna do is a reality show about it. And he's got the Baldwins, seven kids. And the promo for it is, We've got seven kids and what a life. But what do we do after tragedy strikes? Like, film it. By all means, make that public. No, you hide.

[Larry]

The only thing missing from that trailer is you're gonna really like this guy.

[John Holmberg]

After watching when you're all done, my goal is that you love me again. I can't live a life with the public not liking me. Yes, I shot a woman in the face, but I mean, I thought the. The ultimate joke the Saturday Night Live missed, and they would never do it because they won't make fun of Alec Baldwin. He was hosting the match game when he was shooting, quote, blanks. The whole purpose of that thing is to fill in the blanks. The whole game is Alec Baldwin saying, blank. I accidentally shot a woman in the face with blanket down chicken. That wasn't a question. So, yeah, do I think that that's kosher? Do I think that's a cool way of doing so? Although I do have to say, when Ari Shaffir was the amazing racist and used. I don't know how much of it was set up and how much of it was real, but when he would do stuff. It was like these random attack comedy videos. I laughed hysterically. I thought it was very funny. It was also kind of illegal and a lot of it was mean.

[Brady]

But some of those were uncomfortable.

[John Holmberg]

Incredible. I mean, yeah, I know for me people would find that odd in me, but I don't find mean comedy. Like I like pointed and edgy and maybe slice you up a little bit, but I don't like flat out mean unless I hate you. And there are people I absolutely hate. I mentioned Dave Pratt. Top of the list, absolute shyster thief, miserable person, miserable person. And again, that drunk out there in Gilbert who tried to get us canceled last year. Oh yeah. Put me in his 12 steps and got the apology letter a couple weeks ago. That brought me great joy. So I do have that in me. And some would say we just have the balls. No, I'll confront you, but if you're going to email me, I'll confront you my way. Because you didn't really do anything brave either. But you know, you got a beef and we go face to face. Sure. Not saying I'm a grown up. I'm not looking for fights, physical fights. That's not the way grown ups handle things. But if you want to get into a verbal battle, absolutely, I'm all in. Yeah, but that's the old rule. Yeah. Philip Calvert's right. He says it's accurate. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. And boy, he was. Alec Baldwin was. People can say he was and he was dishing it out. And you can say all those were jokes. They were pointed and they were kind of awful. And if Donald Trump made a misstep or got in trouble with the law, there was going to be an Alec Baldwin sketch that week spotlighting that. The goal was to humiliate. It was not to have fun with it. It was. The goal was to humiliate Donald Trump. He does a good enough job on his own, but the goal was to really push that to a point of like, wow. And that's why that show's divided. But I will say that the left got crazy mean and they're doing it again with Elon and they lose it and the right gets vindictive and that's the tribal politics to where it's gonna kill the funny. Cuz it doesn't. It's not fun though. And that dude yesterday, that or whenever it was that went after Alec Baldwin, that's not funny. That topic is not at the expense of Alec Baldwin. That's at the expense of A dead woman and her kids. Yeah, I mean, you're not. You're getting to Alec Baldwin.

[Larry]

That's a little too far.

[John Holmberg]

It is too far, but you're. But that's something that happened. You tried to make Alec Baldwin feel bad about people. I do it with OJ But OJ Killed people for sure, and so did Alec.

[Brady]

But Donovan says, typical Baldwin double standard. I can mock you, but don't you dare mock me.

[John Holmberg]

But again, it wasn't the guy he was mocking. It was a, you know, kind of a mocking by. In proximity. The dude was a Trump fan and he went after him. And I got to hand it to him, as far as balls go, Lucky didn't get his. His head knocked off.

[Brady]

I wonder if that's what he's hoping for, because he's going to be in the news. More gets. Yeah, he's going to sue Baldwin. I mean, he's just gonna.

[John Holmberg]

I mean that. It's harassment to be in front of somebody's house.

[Larry]

And it's the paparazzi.

[John Holmberg]

It really is Roasting. Right. If the. Yeah, if the paparazzi decided to do a little chunk of roast on you. And they do it to some people, they do it to the people they don't like. Questions anyway. You get a lot of people on that. So. Didn't Baldwin's wife lie about her heritage and use a fake accent? Something came out about her. I don't know.

[Larry]

Oh, yeah, she's kind of hot. She has a. That's a natural accent. I didn't even know that either, but I think it's.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what she is. Hilaria Baldwin, but she's Spanish descent or something. She's 25 years.

[Brady]

She was born here, though. I mean, she was. Yeah, she's from here.

[John Holmberg]

She's got seven kids, and she's. She looks great.

[Brady]

Smell became bitter and malicious. It killed the show.

[John Holmberg]

It. You know, it wasn't always good, but it was always in fun. It seemed like. I mean, when Bush invites Dana Carvey to the White House to go, you're killing me out there, kid. He knew it wasn't, you know, malicious. That's the one room I. I've always said it's like, so long as people like, how do you get away with what you say? And I'm like, it's never malicious. I mean, not always. Never. Because Pratt and that drunk prick out in Gilbert, those two. Malicious all day long. But I. They deserve it.

[Larry]

They would do. You know, back in the day, snl, whoever's like, Bush or Carter.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Ford.

[Larry]

But this time you could distinctly tell what side they were on. I mean, you had Trump getting just.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, roasted on there.

[Larry]

And then you got Mamala.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, they loved her. Yeah. Yeah. They. They never would have attacked or they gave her a little bit. They kind of went after. They kind of drew Biden a line.

[Larry]

Right there saying, this is where we stand, where you're supposed to be able to.

[John Holmberg]

The comedy of Biden would have been a lot better had they. Had they gone after what they did in the 70s when Chevy Chase was making fun of Gerald Ford was the guy fell down a few times. So they didn't even. I mean, the irony and joke of that was it's not even an impression. He's just going to fall. It's just, how can we put him in a situation where he's pretending to be Gerald Ford and he's gonna fall down? Because he fell down, and it was hilarious. Something about a president falling down is funny. And it seems to happen to them more often than. I guess they're moving around a lot more than most of us, but climbing a lot of stairs and stuff. But, I mean, in this building, we've had one stair fall that I know of, and it was Jolene, and she fell up the steps. And then someone put a tape of.

[Larry]

Outline of the bottom.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the crime scene. I don't know how you fall upstairs, but she fell upstairs. And then a few people have walked into door window, which we made fun of. But outside of that, there's like 70 employees here and 10 years in the building. Now, three incidents seems reasonable. Yeah, this is. He was just a clutch. They just made him a bumbling idiot. But Gerald Ford had a sense of humor about it. Fellow Americans, ladies and gentlemen, members of the press and my immediate family. First, may I thank you all for being here. And I am. And my immediate family. They just made him a bumbling. But it was all in fun based on stuff he'd done. Something. Check out Homework's Morning Sickness podcast at 98kupd.comberg's Morning Sickness. Trump's an easy target, but it did. It got vindictive and mean, said John. I can't wait till Lamar Jackson finds out you've been making fun of him for being ugly. He's gonna wreck you, dude. He might. I'm not gonna say I'd beat Lamar Jackson in an athletic endeavor. He might take me down.

[Brady]

Ray Lewis, too. He's gonna be after you.

[John Holmberg]

Ray Lewis is a killer who hit all the bumps. Look I'm just saying what's factual. Okay, so the drunken Gilbert Pratt and any Baltimore Raven. Yes, there's malicious intelligence. And if they did. But imagine then, if Lamar Jackson came to me and said, I can't believe you say I'm dumb and ugly. And I'm like, oh, no, this isn't fair. If I started screaming, lamar Jackson's harassing me, you'd be like, john, you invited this. I have to recognize. Yeah, I kind of did. You wanna call me dominated? In my face. I'll sleepy big truss. I don't know what big truss is. And you say it a lot. I can't understand you. You've got a wad of Zales on your mouth. That my grill. Oh, okay.

[Larry]

He's welcome to come into the show.

[John Holmberg]

And no, he's not. He's so dumb and he's so ugly. I'll give you the address. You won't find it. You're too stupid and ugly to find it. Yeah, any Baltimore Raven. And even still, that's sort of fun. And I think he'd understand him. Like, look, you're a Raven. I'm a super stealer. I'm beyond ill with Steeler. Love you. You get it? And if I ever saw him, I'd be like, I hate you. I did it to John Elway when John Elway held the door and I said, I gotta say, I've never. Like, you have been the bane of my existence as a Steeler fan. And then he said something snotty and my Irish trainer didn't know who he was. Who's that guy? Should we. Let's. We got a scout of him? Like, no, no, no, that's. That's legendary quarterback John Elway during his time as a Bronco. I hate Tom Brady. Ugh. Now he's out of the game. You tip your cap, you say it. So is it malicious that I hate Lamar Jackson and wish that you know something terr. And I hope that the people at Reading is fundamental, get a hold of him and, like, teach him to read. And then, like, we get that story like, he's Fantasia Barrino and he's never. I don't think he can read. I'm pretty sure he can't. Have you ever heard him talk or you saw his Wonderlic scores? There's no denying that what I'm using is fact. And I do hate him. But if he came to me and started to make fun of me, which would never happen, but if he did and I cried foul, I'm a pussy. Fact. So. And Pratt too. Although he's not quick enough to keep up. He would. He knows he'd lose that fight in a heartbeat. Eviscerate that old weirdo. That and the fact that he knows that we've got the. The receipts on his.

[Larry]

Got the good.

[John Holmberg]

His charities and the theft that went on in this building for 18 years. It's terrible. Yeah. And he said, John, with Pratt, some people suck so bad they deserve all the hate. They sewn it and even 25 years later, it still tastes great. Yeah, it's true. Some people have created a lifetime of hate, even if they've gone away for a while. And he's one of them. I said the only complaint I have about that is the dude needs to work on his Baldwin impression and do that to Alec. That would have been funnier. That's true. If you went up to Alec Baldwin as Alec Baldwin. How are we feeling about the killing that woman? Like that's. You're still making fun of a dead lady and her kids. I think that's the problem. But Alec goes on TV and starts talking about how sad this event made him. I've never been anything. This is the worst thing I've ever been through in my life. Like think about the guy who's over there raising those kids without his. Without their mother. Now shouldn't they have a show where we find out how they feel? This isn't about you. You're going through a lot because this incident was you. The lady who died is the one that we should be feeling sorry for. Not Alec bald.

[Larry]

I mean everyone involved in that. It's horrible because his intention.

[John Holmberg]

But he went immediately like the second day on a. Please leave me alone. I didn't like. This is not my fault. It is your fault. You can accidentally kill someone and it isn't time for you to clear your name with a. Well, I have celebrities, so I'll start my own reality show. People like me again. No, you hold up for a little while. You don't say anything. It looks crass and callous to go out and say, hey, look how happy my family is. Look how much we've got.

[Larry]

Yeah, it looks like the PR tour.

[John Holmberg]

Here's my seven kids mother. She's alive. That's not nice. But yeah. So people were asking me, would you do this? Would you ever do that? No, I probably would never impression attack anyone. Although it'd be pretty funny. Maybe Lamar Jackson on game day. Cause pretty sure he can't beat me up. He's gotta focus on the game. You Stop calling me dumb and ugly. Yeah, the second you're not dumb or ugly. Oh, no. It's gonna last forever. I hate Lamar Jackson, Justin Tucker, the Harbaughs, Lamar Jackson. Yeah, I got a lot of Ravens hate, and they hate. You know, they would make fun of Ben Roethlisberger, and they have a right to do it, but we don't. Yeah, Ravens fans and Steeler fans. We. Deep down, there's not like a, you know, Michigan and Ohio State. There's like a. All right, you're a little less than when you. I remember I was at Tripp's house for a party, and he had some people there from Baltimore, and I didn't know that, and we're hanging around, and they were. Be nice to them. They're. They're an agency that does a lot of national buys. I'm like, oh, all right. Okay. So he's just giving me a read of the room of who to be nice to. And, like, I wasn't gonna. So I'm walking over, and this guy's standing there, and I said something to him about football, and he goes, yeah, huge fan. I'm like, where are you from? And he goes, oh, we. We all are. We live in Baltimore. I'm like, oh, Home of the birds. And he lifted his sleeve up. He had a tattoo, that ugly ass bird. Like, yuck. What'd you lose a bet? And he starts laughing right then and there. I think we both felt like, we can't be friends. We're not gonna be. This is not gonna go a good direction. We talked football for a little while and then kind of just parted ways. There's no reason it was gonna get heated.

[Brady]

Well, didn't she have a guy that didn't want to buy your last house?

[John Holmberg]

Because walked in my house and saw my closet and saw the Steelers jerseys, and his wife was in the bed. This is beautiful. I love this bed. Let's go. Why? Let's go. We're going. Why? Go look in his closet. Nothing. I can't live here. It's tainted. It's ruined. It's jinxed. It's horrible here. Steelers jerseys. And you walked right out. And I'd have done the exact same thing.

[Brady]

Tip of the cap.

[John Holmberg]

If I'm looking for a house and I walk in and I see a dude's closet full of Ravens gear, no way. I'm not living in that jinxed up coven. No way. You know, my IQ would drop the second I bought that dump. Living in that hell hole made me feel terrible. Plus, there's probably crimes that have been committed because no Ravens fan would be in a house I could afford. They'd have to be in, like, section eight or some sort of public government giveaway. That's where Ravens fans live. You know, looking at houses in Arcadia and see Ravens gear. I've never seen it, by the way. This is a complete fantasy. To think that I would look at anything with more than a bedroom and one half bath and think that the closet is filled with, like, if it's five bedroom, four bath and it's, you know, on a nice plot of land and it's all been modern. I go into the thing and the closet's full of Raven stuff. I'm like, poor person. How did you get in this house?

[Larry]

10 jerseys, 8 white suits.

[John Holmberg]

He either played for the Ravens or killed a guy who loved the Ravens and took all his clothes. You're a thief or a liar or a criminal or some sort, but you're. There's no Ravens fans. I'm looking at Camelback Mountain right now. I can guarantee you all those houses we see at the beautiful houses on there, not one of them has Raven stuff in a closet.

[Brady]

Dale was a Raven, right?

[John Holmberg]

And he had to run a cookie. He's begging me for money here, Johnny. I need to get some sort of a deal here. We're gonna keep coming in. I agree with you, Dale. I'm going broke, Johnny. I know Dale. He's a Raven, for God's sake. So, yes. Is there some malicious intent behind hatred of the R? It's usually sports based. I don't care otherwise. But Alec Baldwin had a little bit of that medicine needed to go down. I'm not real cool with how it happened, but if you haven't seen the video, it's on tmz. It's all over the Internet. Just Google it. The dude's got. He lands a couple of, like, uncomfortably funny lines, but it's just the setting is pretty brutal. It's pretty brutal. But what's worse, going on TV as Trump and taking him down as best you can, and then Trump's asking for it too, so, I mean, I guess that's okay, but. And then taking down the people who support him on a regular basis, that was where I think the line got crossed, is that anybody who supported Trump was also being pretty much drugged through the mud by Baldwin and De Niro and the View. It's weird, but nobody got hurt in the end. And Alec will probably sue. I watched a documentary about Muhammad Ali last night. I didn't realize what a prick he was to Sonny Liston. And that's not a dude you mess with. But he went all the way. He took the press to Sonny Liston's house and stood on his lawn with a bunch of dudes and challenged him to a fight in the front yard. And Sonny was all too willing to comply. Yeah, I will kill you. I've done it before. And he had his guys, like, get in the way and, like, keep him apart. He was trespassing and taunting and harassing this poor bastard. And the more you read about and the more you know about Muhammad Ali as a person, the more you wonder how much we would hate him if he lived in modern times. The crap he was pulling to infuriate he would not. You thought Kaepernick was politically active? Forget it. This dude would have been. He and John Lennon.

[Larry]

There still are people that, you know.

[John Holmberg]

During that time, oh, they hated him. Yeah, and they hated him then. But then, you know, through time, he became this pillar of, like, you know, everybody loves him. You forget, like, if he was today, Kaepernick and all those dudes that get a little mouthy about certain topics and you don't want to hear, my God, would Muhammad Ali be hated today? It wouldn't even be close. Like, I don't know where he gets support, to be honest with you. Saying the things he said about like, you know, the white devil and stuff like that. And he was believed it. He was terrible. And he just did dickhead stuff. Standing on the opponent's front, you know, giving his address out on the. He's pointing to the address on the guy's house and big, dumb, crazy Sonny Liston comes out and I'll kill you. I have killed before. Here's a fun fact. Sonny Liston's fist and diameter, 15 inches. Oh, Jesus. A softball is 12. They use 10 ounce gloves. That's a sledgehammer. Somehow that dude lost twice to Ali. Anyway, little aside there, Brett. What do you got on the big board of musical treats?

[Brady]

All right, Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop, of course. Make sure you go over there and check out the brand new store on Power Road and McDowell for all your biking needs. And of course, if you need to get up and go up north and hit the snow, well, all your snow and bike needs are at the OG store right there on Gilbert Road and southern actionrideshop.com or just follow them up on the Instagrams and all your social media on the list. Pantera, for the show that just Got announced yesterday. Bullet Boys, smooth up in you. For all the federal workers right now. Snot for Kirby the Hives. And then, of course, it goes with all the rain songs. Rain King from Counting Crows.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Rain from the cold.

[Brady]

Piss from Pantera. That smell from Skynyrd. Sweet Emotion from Wet.

[John Holmberg]

For Wes, the lottery winner.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

He's on the board. Yeah.

[Brady]

Holiday in the sun for Wes. Saliva, sex, drugs and a rock and roll. Cause that's all Wes has got.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know that one.

[Brady]

And it's kind of a hidden term. Is it a good song, actually?

[John Holmberg]

Is it?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Should we do that?

[Brady]

Give it a shot.

[John Holmberg]

Saliva, sex, drugs and rock and roll for our dead uncle, lottery winner, Wesley. And to Wes's wife. Hey, by the way, if you're out there listening and you're married to a guy named Wes and he's about to inherit some money, he kind of let the cat out of the bag. You're. You're gone. You gone. You're done. To quote Balin, you're done. You're done. That's a tough way to find out, isn't it? So, yeah, I guess his uncle passed away. He's been really kind of. He's handling it really well to be surprisingly happy. I don't know. I guess we're just going to live our lives day to day. Oh, yeah. You're two more of those. As you get two more of those day to day. Before he's gonna tell you. Yeah, it's crazy. I've not heard this one. So this is. This is not a released song from Saliva.

[Brady]

It was on the album.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, but it wasn't single.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right. You got it? Ready to go? Yep. All right. Sex, drugs and rock and roll for you, Wes. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.