Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: February 25, 2025
Title: New Hampshire Woman Caught Pissing On Produce At Store As Cops Have Been Looking For Her For Four Years!

Overview

In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD, hosts John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo delve into a bizarre and troubling news story: a woman from New Hampshire who has been evading the police for four years by repeatedly urinating on grocery store produce. The discussion not only revolves around the specifics of the incident but also branches into broader conversations about public hygiene, consumer trust, and personal anecdotes that highlight the hosts' disdain for unsanitary practices in food handling.

Main Incident: Woman Urinating on Produce

John Holmberg introduces the central topic by describing the unsettling act of a woman urinating on grocery store produce, leading to significant financial losses for the store.

• Holmberg (02:12): "I saw a story last night. Some lady in New Hampshire was pissing all over the produce at a grocery store... they pull fifteen hundred dollars of vegetables."

• Brady Bogen adds context about the duration of the woman's actions and the ongoing police pursuit.

• Holmberg (04:56): "She's been doing this since she was 19. Her name is Kelly Tedford. They've lost $1,500 in merchandise and cleaning costs."

The hosts express frustration over the lack of effective law enforcement in apprehending the woman, highlighting systemic inefficiencies.

• Brady (03:07): "Four years."

• Holmberg (04:56): "I can't believe they've been after her since 2021 and she still got away multiple times."

Broader Concerns About Public Hygiene

The conversation shifts to general disgust with how produce is handled in stores, touching on issues like contamination and the effectiveness of cleaning protocols.

• Holmberg (03:35): "Your paranoia comes to fruition with people who'd break out the... shooting rainbows right onto the produce."

• Brady (07:38): "Well, imagine the double whammy you're getting delivered. It's going through multiple hands."

The hosts debate potential solutions to ensure produce hygiene, such as having dedicated "vegetable butchers" to minimize direct contact.

• Holmberg (10:58): "Do you want some sort of a vegetable sommelier or a... vegetable butcher?"

• Brady (12:00): "It'd be like going to the counter. Just pick your veggies with someone handling them."

Personal Anecdotes and Host Experiences

The hosts share personal stories to illustrate their points, often using humor and exaggeration to emphasize their disgust.

• Holmberg (06:22): "She looks like Paul McCartney white, all right. Sunken in, fat, sad face."

• Brady (07:43): "They've been eating it for years."

• Holmberg (12:25): "You should. And that's the reason why, I guarantee you, the reason why back in the old days when food used to be out, it got to the point where... we're not gonna finish high school."

These narratives serve to reinforce the hosts' stance on the importance of food cleanliness and the dangers of unsanitary practices.

Critique of Media and Law Enforcement

The hosts express skepticism towards media coverage and law enforcement efficacy regarding the incident.

• Holmberg (02:59): "The cop on the news said... and nobody even followed up. The news is so bad at their job."

• Brady (18:55): "Thank you."

The disdain extends to the portrayal of such incidents in the media, suggesting a lack of serious investigation and public awareness.

Humorous and Sarcastic Commentary

Throughout the episode, the hosts employ humor and sarcasm to discuss serious topics, making the conversation engaging yet pointed.

• Holmberg (08:05): "She's on her way to being a pig though."

• Brady (16:26): "You don't gain weight because you release it two hours later."

• Holmberg (30:34): "Can I get a carrot? Yeah, let me get the keys."

These light-hearted jabs provide levity while still addressing the gravity of public health concerns.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reiterate the importance of maintaining hygiene standards in grocery stores to prevent such incidents. They call for more stringent measures and personal responsibility among consumers and store employees alike.

• Holmberg (31:45): "Disgusting, disgusting people. Gross."

• Brady (31:57): "Disgusting, disgusting people. Gross."

The recurring theme emphasizes that the problem isn't isolated but indicative of broader societal negligence regarding public hygiene.

Notable Quotes with Attribution and Timestamps

• John Holmberg (02:12): "I saw a story last night. Some lady in New Hampshire was pissing all over the produce at a grocery store... they pull fifteen hundred dollars of vegetables."

• Brady Bogen (04:56): "She's been doing this since she was 19. Her name is Kelly Tedford. They've lost $1,500 in merchandise and cleaning costs."

• John Holmberg (10:58): "Do you want some sort of a vegetable sommelier or a... vegetable butcher?"

• Brady Bogen (16:26): "You don't gain weight because you release it two hours later."

• John Holmberg (31:45): "Disgusting, disgusting people. Gross."

Final Remarks

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of investigative discussion and comedic relief, addressing a disturbing trend in public spaces. Through their candid dialogue, the hosts shed light on the importance of food hygiene and the need for better enforcement and public awareness to prevent such incidents in the future.