02-25-26 - Emails Reactions To Brady's Restaurant Visit - Rachel Has Emailed Mad At John For Not Believing Restless Leg Syndrome Is Real And Claims She's Suffering From It But John's Not Having It

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Episode Summary

Episode Title: Emails Reactions To Brady's Restaurant Visit – Rachel Has Emailed Mad At John For Not Believing Restless Leg Syndrome Is Real And Claims She's Suffering From It But John's Not Having It
Date: February 25, 2026
Host: John Holmberg with Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo

Main Theme

This episode centers around listener reactions to Brady’s recent restaurant visit, but the central focus is on an email from a listener named Rachel. Rachel expresses frustration with John Holmberg for dismissing Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS) as a real condition. John and the crew respond in typical HMS style: with irreverent humor, relentless roasting, and a refusal to show sympathy for Rachel’s complaint, ultimately spiraling into a biting, comedic takedown about accountability, personal responsibility, and listeners who blame their problems on external factors.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Announcements, Listener Emails, and Warm-up Banter

• (01:12-03:04)
  The show opens post-advertising with John reading sarcastic, critical, and joking emails from listeners about upcoming show prizes.
  • Example: “What are you giving away? Cardinal passes for the next season? I'm good. Thanks, bro.” (01:58)
  • Banter about Brady being mistaken for a “fat lady” at the restaurant gets everyone laughing.
  • Middle Eastern food from Brady’s visit is joked about (e.g., “jihad fries” and “yellow cake—enriched uranium”).

2. Rachel’s Email: Restless Leg Syndrome

• (03:53-07:35)
  John reads Rachel’s lengthy, frustrated email. She claims RLS is a real, serious condition causing her weight gain and relationship issues.
  • “It keeps me up all night sometimes, and I struggle with sleep disorders. The medication makes me depressed and miserable. I've actually lost relationships and gained 50 lbs.” (06:00)
  • John's immediate dismissiveness and relentless sarcasm kick in:
    • "Well, that's why you lost relationships. It had nothing to do with your legs." (06:18)
    • Brady joins in, theorizing perhaps the weight 'anchors' Rachel’s legs.

3. Relentless Roasting & RLS Skepticism

• (07:36-13:38)
  The crew launches into a freewheeling riff, repeatedly mocking Rachel’s situation:
  • John accuses Rachel of making excuses and “stress eating,” not dealing with her issues, and blames her attitude—not her RLS—for her isolation.
  • Punchy lines and one-liners fly:
    • “Restless leg syndrome is not real... Only Americans have restless leg syndrome.” (07:37)
    • “Get those giant thunder thighs out there, Rachel, and walk the canals ... I guarantee you those things will settle down in your sleep.” (08:20)
    • “You can put anything you want in front of the word eating … No, you’re just being a pig.” (09:05)
  • Brett suggests: “Tell that dumb broad to put down the 32-ounce Monster Energy before she goes to bed.” (09:31)
  • John, continuing the bit, “You put on 50 pounds cuz of a restless leg? If your legs were restless, you’d be getting exercise at night.” (14:24)

4. Listener Interactivity: More Emails, Skits, & Characters

• (13:39-19:56)
  • The email segment quickly mutates into improv: female listeners defending or lampooning Rachel; invented characters like “Dr. Rico Blaze” offering “solutions.”
  • Recurring fat jokes, ranch/churn/butter bits, and animal metaphors.
  • John riffs as if Rachel’s problem is unique to “whiny” Americans and uses a string of animal-comparison punchlines.
    • “You need a good dicking and a good jeffing and exercise during the day, and you’ll be tired at night.” (12:16)
    • “When Rachel gets on the scale, it doesn't give a number—it just says, ‘Call Rico!’” (19:56)

5. Pushback & Reflection: Responsibility and Defensiveness

• (19:56-27:44)
  • John reflects on how blaming circumstances (like RLS) for life problems is self-defeating, contrasting it with listeners who own their situation.
    • “Nobody ever used restless leg syndrome to leave a good woman. Your personality, that's why people leave you.” (22:04)
    • “You're the CEO of nothing. Not even your own body.” (33:12)
  • Other listeners (like Jennifer) chime in, owning their “bigger girl” status with confidence, which John praises (31:04).

6. Continued Roasting, Callbacks, & Fat Jokes

• (27:44-38:40)
  • The show barrels on with callbacks (manatee jokes, “Rachel’s gravitational pull,” comparisons to “ranch as a drink,” etc.).
    • “Let's do a lard alert … just a reminder that ranch is not a drink. Hydrate and your legs will calm down.” (32:17)
    • “Her driver’s license is an aerial photo.” (38:00)
    • “Branch House Grill has the Rachel specials because their sausages are the same size as her fingers.” (38:00)
  • References to her being a news-making monster (King Kong, rampage, etc.), and jokes about the risk of burning down the trailer park with her “friction.”

7. Wrapping Up: Call for Accountability and Contest Announcements

• (38:40-41:44)
  • John expresses exasperation with listeners who scapegoat external factors (like RLS) for life’s problems.
  • Prize contest chatter is threaded in for comic relief, with further references to food as a motivational tool.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• John Holberg:
  • “You put 50 pounds on because you can’t sleep. I guess that’s what that is. Sounds like she’s just eating.” (08:53)
  • “Any guy will tolerate restless legs if you’re good looking and you’re nice… You’re sleepy and you’re fat.” (09:48)
  • “Your legs are trying to run away from you at night.” (13:01)
  • “Rachel, email me back. Rachel’s dad, you hate your daughter too, probably. You email her. I hate Rachel. That’s my new—I'm going to make T-shirts.” (22:48)
• Brady:
  • “Duct tape would have been involved.” (16:40)
  • “We’ll take you to the manatee rescue.” (23:57)
• Brett:
  • “Tell that dumb broad to put down the 32 ounce of Monster Energy before she goes to bed.” (09:31)
  • “Did somebody say Little Debbie’s? That’s a cream pie I’d love to go in there.” (21:39)
• Listener Jennifer:
  • “I don’t blame anyone or anything for who I am. I have an ass and men love it. I’m good with that.” (31:04)

---

Key Segments & Timestamps

• John Reads Rachel’s Email: [03:53–07:35]
• Roasting Rachel’s Life & RLS: [07:36–16:45]
• Animal/Food Metaphors and Improv Skits: [16:45–19:56]
• Listener Counterpoints, Ownership vs. Excuse-making: [31:04–33:12]
• Fat/Lifestyle Jokes Reach Critical Mass: [32:17–38:00]
• Final Reflection on Responsibility/Contest Prep: [38:40–41:44]

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Tone, Style & Takeaways

• Language & Humor: Relentlessly sarcastic, biting, and rich with gallows humor, food/animal metaphors, and edgy improv. The team is unapologetically abrasive and makes no effort to be politically correct.
• Core Message: Many “syndromes” used as excuses are mocked; the show’s ethos is tough love (with very little “love” and maximum roast). “Own your problems; don’t blame a syndrome.”
• Listener Participation: The show thrives on reader interaction, often turning emails into full-blown bits, bringing listeners into the comedy ring—sometimes as targets.

---

Summary

This episode is a classic HMS roast, turning a listener’s genuine health complaint into a marathon of sarcastic takes, body jokes, and riffing about personal responsibility. The team highlights the absurdities they see in “excuse culture,” especially in the American context, and spares no one—least of all the listener who emailed in. If you appreciate brash, untamed, and unapologetically offensive radio, this is a prime example of the show's signature style.

Transcript

[Brett Vesely]

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[John Holmberg]

You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

What the hell is wrong with you?

[John Holmberg]

Pd?

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Yeah. Yeah. Feeling good on a Wednesday. Yeah, this is a good Wednesday. We're an hour and 11 minutes away. 10 minutes away from me giving you the. The prize that you guys can be mad at now. I'll let all the haters and nonsense. [e-mail] fired away. Start telling me how crappy this prize. You don't know what we're giving away is because I've said it's good. There's always a few out there. They're out there. Churchill says. I cannot believe you douches hyped this garbage. Dumbest idea since the wnba. Thanks a lot, Bob. Yeah, a ton of them.

[John Holmberg]

Well, great.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Everyone knows only team of prizes from you lib cucks happen around 8am I hate happiness. Signed miserable listener. What are you giving away? Cardinal passes for the next season? I'm good. Thanks, bro. Yeah, no, I wouldn't hype that up. That's a punishment. I'd rather be the dude who's running around on the Runway. This one Says John, I was putting on mascara when you said, there's a fat lady who wants food outside. And I laugh so hard I poke my eye out. Tamara, don't do it. No eye issues. No more eye issues. Although it is hilarious to think of Middle Easterners seeing Brady and thinking he's an. He's an unclothed whore woman.

[John Holmberg]

Look at the ankles and her face. I wish Allah would bring his winged horse, Barak, and just bash into that fat woman.

[Brady]

I do like her beard.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

Say the Twin Towers is burnt. New York ends. I don't know what that is. I'll have two of those.

[Brett Vesely]

Donovan. Want to know how the jihad fries were, Brady?

[Brady]

They were a struggle, but they were good.

[John Holmberg]

One of the guys said, for dessert, I don't know what. What do they have for dessert?

[John Holmberg (main host)]

And the guy in the back goes, yellow cake.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yes, yellow cake. Enriched uranium.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

I'll try some of that. That sounds moist.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Oh, eight o'. Clock. I'm gonna give it away an hour and eight minutes and start talking to you about something awesome. And by the way, one of our listeners guessed it. And none of this has been announced to anybody anywhere at all. One of our listeners guessed it. So I told him, cha Ching, shut your mouth. Yeah. And I said, don't tell. Don't ruin it for everybody. But. And we'll get a bunch of people that'll start barking about how much they hate this thing. But it is a great one. It is a great one for sure. Before we move on to anything else, I got this email from a lady named Rachel. I hope she's listening. I don't know that she is anymore, but I hope she is. And I don't even know where this came from during the best of. I might have mentioned. I don't know. I was face down in a. Oh, by the way, you know what the worst thing about this patch on my face is? My phone doesn't recognize me anymore.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Oh, it's nearly impossible. You, like, get all your everything, Even

[Brady]

do it from the profile.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Got a password? Everything I'm trying to like, it's me. I want the old thumbprint back. It's like, nope, what's your password? And I'm like, JonBenet's six. Nine. I don't remember. That was my password for a while. I had to tell a person that. That was a DirecTV. No, it was Netflix.

[John Holmberg]

What is your password?

[John Holmberg (main host)]

I have to tell you. Yes. J, O N B E N e t s. JonBenet. Yes, I'm familiar. Oh, great. Ti 69. You're a pig. I know. Who would ever guess that it is

[John Holmberg]

the safest password in the world?

[John Holmberg (main host)]

So I had to change it to her C word. It's the best password ever. If they allowed longer ones, I'd do the My uncle used to spit in my mouth. Six, nine. Nobody's guessing that. Uncle fingers. Adult trauma. Six, nine, exclamation point. But try it. Use JonBenet. And then a body part. And then when you have to tell somebody, there was. I had that with the quantum link guy that came to the rental house. I just need your password. And we're off and running. I'm like, okay, it's I JonBenet.

[Brady]

As you're laughing, doing the password the day.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I love it.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

It's still great. It's just a little weird to say it out loud because then, you know. And then the dude, I think he called himself the Cincinnati Kid, goes that great, man.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, yeah, that's pretty good.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Anyway, back to what I was talking about. So during the Best of Evidently Toledo ran something where I mentioned restless leg syndrome or this lady's been holding it for years. I don't know. But she says dear John. Doesn't say Dear John. I mean, it says john says I have restless leg syndrome. And it's very real. And you dismissing it is rude and ignorant. It keeps me up all night sometimes, and I struggle with sleep disorders. The medication makes me depressed and miserable. I've actually lost relationship and gained £50. Well, that's why you lost relationships. It had nothing to do with your legs. Exactly. I mean, it has something to do with your legs.

[Brady]

Your legs are, you know, added that weight would hold the leg down or something.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Maybe she thought she'd anchor herself to bed. This isn't helping our relationship with Rachel

[Brady]

theory, just a theory.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

It's a good theory, though, and it does have something to do with your legs. While men were leaving or too hard to pry open, they were getting tired and passing out, moving. It was like Indiana Jones finding a temple and having to squeeze those giant. Jesus had less to do when he moved the rock anyway. Says I've lost relationships, gained 50 pounds from my disorder. Is that enough for you to make fun of someone's disorder? I listened to your show.

[John Holmberg]

What you got?

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Yeah, I listened to your shit. Oh, Brechston's degree. Yeah, that's completely funny. You've given me don't need to Read any More. Actually tons of ammunition to make fun

[John Holmberg]

of your issue that is, by the

[John Holmberg (main host)]

way, all made up. I listened to Your show while carpooling. My dad used to listen to you. So I've been subjected to you in the past. I can't believe you're still allowed on the air, Rachel. Well, Rachel, you're just tired. I'll give it to you. You're kind of a bitch because you're tired. And that's not my fault. You walk into the refrigerator.

[John Holmberg]

Moving those giant legs around at night's

[John Holmberg (main host)]

got to wear everybody. I don't know how. You're not getting any sleep. You're doing all that jogging in place, and you're sort of. I don't know how it's happening. Restless leg syndrome is not real. Never have I seen one of those hungry people in Africa talking to one of those Christian missionaries. What's the biggest problem in your life? I can't get any sleep because my legs just dance and dance.

[John Holmberg]

They just want some milk and a

[John Holmberg (main host)]

bowl of, like, gruel nobody else has. Only Americans have restless leg syndrome. Oh, it's very real. I remember Megan's mom did that years ago and told me that she had restless leg syndrome. Like, I rolled my eyes and she goes, well, my mother had it, and I had to remind her she was adopted. You can't pass it down through the adoption paper. Nobody's got it for real. You're just restless. It's like a puppy that barks at night. You didn't walk them enough in the daytime. Get those giant thunder thighs out there, Rachel, and walk the canals a couple miles a day. I guarantee you those things will settle down in your sleep.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

The more I do, the more I run.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Well, then you're not worn out enough. It's like one of them whippets or border collies. They gotta run extra.

[John Holmberg]

And you need to be doing some running, sister.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

You put £50 on because you can't sleep.

[Brady]

Stress eating.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

I guess that's what that is. Sounds like she's just eating. Stress eating is.

[John Holmberg]

I just.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

I think it's just eating. You can put anything you want in front of the word eating.

[John Holmberg]

You're just eating.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

I stress eat. No, you're just being a pig. Oh, it's because of stress. Well, I have stress and I'm not a pig, so.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

You don't understand.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

I haven't slept for years. I don't know how you're hauling those big old put the hoes around.

[John Holmberg]

Put the ho ho down.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

And stop putting stress in front of things. Everybody does and acting like you're different. I was stress eating. Shut up. You know, I get hungry every day. And then I get stressful that I'm not going to eat. And then I eat. So I guess I'm stress eating too.

[Brett Vesely]

Tell that dumb broad to put down the 32 ounce of monster energy before she goes to bed. Maybe she'll sleep. Look, there you go, Matthew.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

I don't know, Rachel. You said it about me. I'll say it about you now. I've been subjected to you.

[John Holmberg]

This sucks.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

You may have been subjected to me. My dad didn't even listen to you. You had to reach out and find me and now I've been subjected to you. Yuck. And haul your sleepy huge legs into your job and complain to somebody there about me. Don't just direct. You think I'm gonna change about your made up disease? My legs are restless. You've lost relationships from restless legs? Kids, you're annoying. That's why you've lost relationships. Any guy will tolerate restless legs. If you're good looking and you're nice, you're sleepy and you're fat. I'm gonna just call it as I see it. Nobody's gonna lay down next to that. You kick you cold ass feet kicking me at night? Because I guarantee you with those big ass legs you're hauling around, your feet are freezing.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, you got cold hooves.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Oh, your hooves. Yeah, and you're probably gonna cut me

[John Holmberg]

with one of those cloven beasts.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

I am in no mood after last week to deal with any of these mother at all.

[Brady]

She should try that hypnotherapy.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Oh yeah. Maybe it'll just put her to sleep forever. They should try Dr. Fixler at happy Endings. That'll get you some sleep. I would love that. If Dr. Fixler touched that big lady's chest and said she's at peace, that would be nice.

[Brett Vesely]

Dr. Carl basically says tell that cow to sleep standing up. Maybe the cankles won't get any bigger.

[John Holmberg]

You know what?

[John Holmberg (main host)]

You should go to where you're most comfortable. A buffet or leaning against the fridge. Maybe you'll knock out with your wooby. Not in the mood for you Rachel. Just not in the mood.

[Brett Vesely]

Put the trough on the other side of the house instead of next to the bed. Yeah.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Mix in some lettuce in your trough and maybe you won't slop around in your sty much longer. Been subjected to me. Go your restless self. You need a good. What do they call that?

[Brady]

That's the kick in the pants.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

A good dicken I think is what you need. Did Brady say hippo or hypnotherapy? That's a good point, Brady. What did you want to clarify? A hippotherapy. Because I think she's.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

My legs are so restless.

[Brady]

The hippo therapy is. Go check out that baby pygmy hippo with the Wildlife World Zoo.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

That's a nice, good plug. Way to turn it out.

[Brady]

Feel good about that.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Way to go. Maybe Rachel just wasn't aware that she was jeffing while she slept. Oh, that's true. At least we learned that yesterday that you can jeff in your sleep. Well, it's the only ing she's actually doing in bed. What she needs is to be a little nicer to one of the guys that she's kicking all night long and get. Get a good dicking. I think that's all you need.

[Brady]

He needs a good jeffing.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

You need a good jeffing and a good dicking and exercise during the day, and you'll be tired at night. It's amazing how it works.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

I don't have time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you do.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

You got time to stress eat. You got time to. You got time to put £50 on over at Brady's.

[John Holmberg]

Hala challah meats and eating goat and

[John Holmberg (main host)]

whatever else you can shove in. That's tough to do there. I'm not dealing with you. I'm not dealing with these people anymore. That's my new. That's my promise to you.

[Brady]

I'm not dealing with you.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

I'm not dealing with these people anymore. I'm not gonna be nice to you. I don't care if you listen ever again. Go away. I've been subjected to you. You have a lot happening to you, and not a thing you're doing about it is changing your life. People are forcing radio shows down your throat, and evidently cake. And you can't sleep because your legs run away from you. I would too.

[Brady]

Shut your mouth. I've been staring at the floor for five days.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

You know how intolerable your personality is? Your legs are trying to run away from you at night.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

Oh, it's just awful. They just move it all about.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

We'll stop it.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

I can't control my body.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

That sound like you should go get like a shot.

[Brett Vesely]

Donovan said if she's getting divorced, he'll go hogging with her.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

See, there's guys out there that like you, Rachel, despite your grotesque size and your horrible attitude. I'll subject Donovan on you. Donovan's a big boy, too. He's like 6, 7, I think he's a big one. There's a military. He's a veteran. Damn it.

[John Holmberg]

Do you mean veteran like the 19 gentleman that we celebrate every 911 at Brady's old restaurant?

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Yes, a veteran Veterans Day 911 come

[John Holmberg]

down eat free Terrorists kids eat free. They blow up so fast.

[Brady]

Don't use app,

[John Holmberg (main host)]

don't use up. Don't bring in beeper.

[John Holmberg]

We know what they use are doing not beeper.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Anyway Rachel, thanks for your letter. Now kindly go yourself into no sleep for the rest of your life. The good news about Rachel is she's not going to get a lot of sleep and that usually leads to like an early death and I'm fine with that. Goodbye Rachel. Thanks for sitting up all night long and pending me that nice email.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

I stress I put on 50.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

You put on 50 pounds cuz a restless leg. If your legs were restless you'd be getting exercise at night.

[Brett Vesely]

Well she was up already. She waiting for door dash to show

[John Holmberg (main host)]

up at 2am she's getting her steps in while she's laying down that little red mobile too. It's a good thing you got restless leg syndrome or you to put on £100.

[John Holmberg]

Edwards Morning Sickness 98K you you PD.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Hey, it's John Holmberg here from the morning Cygnus and I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my [e-mail] youm've heard me mention Kevin Costner, Trey McBride, other countless celebrities and pro athletes and how they chose lifted trucks. But that doesn't mean it's only for actors and pro athletes. It's for all of you. Everybody who loves a cool adventure. So if you're a huge celebrity like me or just an average Joe who wants the best truck available, head on over to Lifted Trucks. They live up to being the number one custom truck dealer for over 30 years. 10,000 five star reviews can't be wrong. Liftedtrucks.com, work hard, play hard, drive harder.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's mornings sickness.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Yeah. How come the do you count your steps from the bedroom to the door to pick up your door dash order 11. That's a record. Rachel. Leave me alone.

[Brady]

Emily who used to work here had that little petal thing at her desk.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Yeah, because she was trying to lose weight. She wasn't. She was. She's working and it worked. She looked great. Yeah, she wasn't complaining that she had to do it cuz her legs.

[Brady]

But I'm saying you got that leg that's churning.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

You know she didn't. Rachel doesn't need that. She's pedaling all the time anyway with her made up disease.

[Brady]

It's butter or ice cream with that thing.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Somewhere along the line, yeah, definitely got butter. Churn. Oh, she'll make butter. Bad news is nobody else will get me.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

I made more butter.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Well, where is it?

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

I'm sorry, it's gone already. I'm Rachel the pig. I ate it all.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Oh, you're gonna churn more? Probably. You turn cream into butter with your crazy legs and you managed to put weight on. How you doing this? Somewhere in like the 80s, some woman at a postino said, my legs don't

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

like they move around at night.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

That's a good thing. That means your spine's connected.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

No, no, I don't like it.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

And then another lady said, me too. And it became a thing. It was never a thing. If my grandma was kicking around in bed, Alvar would have smacked her and said, knock it off and it would have stopped.

[Brady]

Duct tape would have been involved.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

She'd have been strapped into some sort of weird bed in a facility.

[John Holmberg]

She's nuts.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

They just said she's crazy and put her away like the Kennedys used to do their kids.

[Brett Vesely]

Ladies, more emails, please.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Please keep them coming. It's crazy. It says, here's what happened on Thursday in restless leg. Oh, am I gonna read this?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, Sean Rockefeller is. That's different one, but the blind.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Oh, this is from Carl. Does she have a spastic colon too? Some dudes stick around. If she gives up the brown eye, even if the legs are flailing around like a. Like a marionette. I'm reading with one eye. It's not easy. Oh, Rockefeller's right here. I got him. And he. The blind guy. John, you'd have restless legs too if you were forced to swim around all day and perform tricks at Sea World. Yeah, I think that's restless back Fin. Not in the mood for you, Rachel. I want to make an example of you. There's a real easy way to ignore that. And much like your made up disease, you can just not email me and act like it doesn't exist. But you gotta play along, don't you? You had to get your two cents in because you're big and you're annoyed with your own life. And somewhere another that's my fault in a weird way for thinking your restless leg syndrome is a made up, a disastrous made up thing.

[Brett Vesely]

A lot of people says that Rachel needs a call. Dr. Rico Blaze for this.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Oh, no of Brett's ready for that.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, how you doing, baby? Get them legs flailing around like a pinwheel in the wind. Don't worry about it. I'll Find a wet spot in that big fat pile. That's my expertise. Nothing I like more than a lady trying to get away, but she runs out of gas real fast cuz she's so fat. I can't see that. Brady. I got one eye.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Give me that.

[John Holmberg]

I got myself a restless leg. It's between my two good legs and baby, it needs a nap in a fat dent like a barren winter. It wants to hibernate up in your cave, girl. Good one, Brady. Restless third leg is funny. His restless all the time. Wakes me up in the middle of

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

the night like, well, bitch, I'm trying

[John Holmberg]

to get some sleep and you keep popping up. That's all right. What was my name on Instagram again? I always forget.

[Brett Vesely]

Sir Nutsilat.

[John Holmberg]

Sir Nutsilat.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

That's right,

[John Holmberg]

Sir Nutsila. How are we not in the top 13 of the radio show? This kind of garbage? Anyway, don't worry about it, Rachel. If you can prop yourself up and

[John Holmberg (main host)]

tear yourself away from a refrigerator, get

[John Holmberg]

them restless legs running over to my

[John Holmberg (main host)]

house, I'll butter the door and you

[John Holmberg]

can slip right in. Get you a fat restless ass over here, girl, before your heart stops. It ain't gonna last long without any sleep. And all that extra weight you're carrying around. You got hypertension, I guarantee your blood pressure is 300 over 300. You know what I like? When Rachel gets on the scale, it

[John Holmberg (main host)]

doesn't give a number.

[John Holmberg]

It just says, call Rico.

[Brett Vesely]

That's a mic drop.

[John Holmberg]

That might be a mic drop. Now put that jimmy hat on my restless leg and let's get to work. I don't want to get your fat ass pregnant. No one will know. Probably just fall out your big ass in the kitchen.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

You shoot across the room when you're

[John Holmberg]

running your marathon in your sleep. Restless leg syndrome.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Shut up.

[John Holmberg]

Goddamn restless leg.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

I'm gonna call the police.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Rico's gonna be there, baby. Get him out of here.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Go away. That's right.

[John Holmberg]

Just call me, baby.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Call me.

[John Holmberg]

My phone number is your blood pressure 308? 777.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Anyway, restless leg syndrome sounds like more

[Brett Vesely]

like restless turkey leg syndrome.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

She's fat and we ate her. It's okay. Don't give me that crap, John.

[Brett Vesely]

Mocking fat, miserable women. Just when I thought you were flaming out, John comes back with one eye to his ears.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

I got one eye on you. This one says rest. Restless leg syndrome is real. The old treatment used to be quinine. That's tonic. Quinine. Quinine. Quinine. What are they used to? It's the Q On the gun. I know that. It's tonic water. It's the stuff in tonic water. Actually, it says malaria and restless leg syndrome. What? It's. Well, then we've got a cure. Shut the up, Rachel. And evidently, Sugar cake and Little Debbie's are not exactly the cure.

[John Holmberg]

Somebody say Little Debbie's. That's a cream pie. I love to go in there. Cream pie her.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Probably have to move all the rappers

[John Holmberg]

out of the bed before. And I don't mean like Ray J. I'm talking about, like, actual Little Debbie rappers.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Rachel, leave me alone. Just like all the men in Phoenix are leaving you alone. Return the favor to me.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

I've lost relationships over my restless legs.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

You keep telling yourself that, sister. Just kicking me. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm gonna use restless legs as an excuse. Nobody ever used restless leg syndrome to leave a good woman. Your personality, that's why people leave you. Nobody could. I would love to stay with you, but the restless nobody. It's a person. Take it anymore. Couldn't take it anymore. She was a wonderful human being and very beautiful, but the restless legs.

[John Holmberg]

I had to leave.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

It's not restless legs that made you're a. That's why you left.

[Brady]

It's like a woodpecker.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

I'm so sorry. I'm just constantly kicking you all night.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, it's okay, baby.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

No, it's. You're a now. I guarantee. You kicked him and he's like, knock it off.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

I can't help it. I've got a disease.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

I'm getting out of here.

[John Holmberg]

You're a bitch.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

I don't want to hear from her. Rachel, email me back. Rachel's dad, you hate your daughter, too, Probably. You email her. I hate Rachel. That's my new I'm gonna make T shirts. I'm gonna put a 25 on the shirt. And over the top of it, K PD hating Rachel for 25 solid years. Why don't you go over to the Cardinals and, like, try not to be a punter or something? I can use all the help I need. Or actually, probably defensive lineman. The way you sound, the way you describe yourself. I put on £50. That's not restless legs fault, jackass. I love that you emailed me. Thank you, Rachel. You had no idea. You thought I'd be like, what did she think that I was gonna go, geez, I should probably back off, Shut up. I'll sleep with you, and we'll have a kicking contest, and I'm gonna win. Except for you got a Lot more blubber. I'll pour water on you like we're taking you back home, put you on a flatbed and start flopping on you.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

And now I have all these bruises on my legs.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Those are from the ten foot poles men are using to keep you away. They're not from restless leg. Jesus Christ.

[Brady]

We'll take you to the manatee rescue.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

I'll just pour you in the water. You can go home.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

Finally, I'm free.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Yeah, you just thought you were restless cause your fins. You know who else has restless legs? Any fish that's not in water, they start flopping around too. That's it. You're just a manatee. You need to dugong your way back to Florida. I hope you're crying. I hope Jesus Christ.

[John Holmberg]

I hope Brady's God we talked about,

[John Holmberg (main host)]

I hope dear Brady's Lord Jesus, baby Jesus Lord sacrificed absolutely a full weekend for our sins. We really appreciate that. Also, could you make sure that Rachel's crying about this please? Because she was trying to hurt my feelings and like make me feel bad about me and it didn't work. So now I want her. Could you make her restless leg syndrome worse than like move it into her arms too so she slaps herself to sleep at night? I. There's no such thing as restless arm syndrome.

[Brady]

Start drumming bass drum on that thing.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Oh my God. You could be. You could be an amazing one woman show. No one's ever seen someone so fat do so much in their life. It's amazing.

[John Holmberg]

Stupid restless leg lady.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Scott Haynes has a good question. How are your restless legs and isn't it dangerous? Can't with your legs kicking around, you get choked out by your CPAP wires. That's probably true. She probably runs the risk of strangling herself with her CPAP machine. No, it says, hey, Rachel, since you're up all night long, that's good news. That leaves you eight hours to actually work out. That's a good thought, Scott. Anyway, what are you gonna do? Sorry, I got off on a tangent there. That'll happen. I. I can't deal with people who blame one thing for why everything's gone wrong in their life. You can get around that. It's. It's again, it's these NBA refs that are. That are ponytails. I think the second we allowed ponytails to referee NBA games, everybody lost their minds. It's like nobody's accountable for anything. I've put these two things together. It's like this weird hyper collision of that shouldn't be happening. And it's changing everything right before our eyes and we don't know it. I don't understand. I was watching the Suns game last night and they made a call. I'm like, that had to be a woman ref. And I text K Ray and I'm like, are there women refs?

[John Holmberg]

And he goes, no.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

I'm like, my God, the men are turning into.

[John Holmberg]

We're gonna review that play for a hostile act.

[Brett Vesely]

Bunch of man buns out there.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

I told Kevin last night, he goes, there's no women on the court. You want to check that one? Good eye. And I'm like, yeah, but they've messed it up to where now the rules are. There's too many rules, which is always a woman thing. And then I said, ask Eddie Johnson sitting right next to you, the smooth shooter, what he thinks of the hostile act. He goes, you want to hear him go for about an hour and a half. I know because he played in an era where every act was hostile. The defender didn't give him enough room.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

What?

[John Holmberg (main host)]

That's not defense. You tackled him flag. But I'm convinced of it. I'm convinced that once Ponytail started to referee things, we lost something. And women could start saying things like, my legs made it so I gained 50 pounds and no one loves me. Isn't that. It's your personality. It's always your personality. You ever seen a beautiful woman and it. And she's like, nobody's with her. It's not because she kicks at night.

[Brady]

What's. What's wrong with her?

[Brett Vesely]

Something's wrong with her.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

She's horrible again. She didn't get a tight five. She doesn't have good. And eventually the dude that was with her was like, there's only so much beauty can push. And you're. That's enough.

[Brett Vesely]

The friction between Rachel size will probably start a fire and burn down the trailer park.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Yeah, you better be careful. You know, the news was talking about, like, there's a big cricket problem in the city, but I'm not so sure. That might just be Rachel trying to sleep, causing that massive cricket sound. And the whole city is under Rachel's spell. Rachel's trying to sleep. Damn it.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. The only time I like legs rubbing together like that is inside a KFC bucket. That's

[John Holmberg (main host)]

a one eyed Junos. Oh, Jesus. This is hard to tell that pig.

[Brady]

Wow.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Oh, don't start that again.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I thought you'd have easier showing up.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Easier. Tell that pig to use restless leg syndrome to run. That way she doesn't Sweat and smell like Crisco at night. And that's why guys would slid off the bed and ran out the door. Thank you.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

This one says restless calf syndrome. But when I say calf, I mean like the baby cow. Said. I wonder what it's gonna look like when she starts kicking those legs around with no feet thanks to her diabetes.

[John Holmberg]

Here's what we'll do, Rachel, to get you to lose some of that weight, you can start Jeffing in bed and I'll pace you with my hellcat.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

I'm gonna try to get you to

[John Holmberg]

run down the road. All right?

[John Holmberg (main host)]

She's gonna be the Dodge commercials.

[John Holmberg]

He's gotta be running around. Rachel, you want to get up while you're kicking around and fix that. That right there that very much loved. If you would get up and use them crazy ass legs and climb a ladder. Get up there, fix that ceiling bird. That's driving me crazy. I'll get through it.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

You get up there and do it.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

I can't.

[Brett Vesely]

My legs are.

[John Holmberg]

You fat ass will crush a ladder.

[Brett Vesely]

That's why.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

You know why.

[John Holmberg]

It ain't happening.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Anyway. We're just. We're just 42 minutes away from me giving you the opportunity to win the thing we've got. I can't announce it till 8, but when I do get ready, it's going to be great.

[Brett Vesely]

Here's a. Here's a woman's point of view.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Okay, coming through. It's about Restless. Is she going to defend it?

[Brett Vesely]

No.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Because they love disease.

[Brett Vesely]

No, she knows.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Oh, she knows that this is from a woman? Yes. It says I'm dying here. I'm a bigger girl and Rachel's a. Oh my God. Jennifer's representing all the ladies.

[Fisher Tools Announcer]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Says I don't blame anyone or anything for who I am. I have an ass and men love it. I'm good with that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God damn this one. Pennies from heaven. God damn Rachel. I mean Jennifer, not Rachel. Rachel. I'm done with Rachel. That fat bitch kicked me out of her bed. I don't know if she did it on purpose, but kept kicking men out. Literally. Jennifer, you're that big fat ass you're so proud of. Over to Rico's house tonight. We'll put it under arrest. Unlike Rachel's legs, who were never rested. Men love your fetish ass.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

That's what I like to hear.

[Brady]

We'll add one to the list.

[John Holmberg]

Add another man to your fat ass love list. I'm gonna give me a Valentine's card up in that.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

This one says, this is from a someone named Jarison. Never seen that name in my life. Jarrison. All right.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

What if that's a man or a woman or a. I think it's a man. Yeah, I think so. So says he actually wrote that. Restless leg syndrome. This fat bitch is getting cramps in her legs at night. Tell her to hydrate and drink some water instead of drinking all that ranch. That's right. Time we made that announcement to the Biggins out there.

[Brady]

What? It's got electrolytes.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Ranch dressing is not water. Once again, we should do, like a little fat person alert. A lard alert. It goes on your phone. Just a quick reminder that ranch is not a drink. Hydrate and your legs will calm down. That's good stuff. Anyway, I just don't wanna. I just don't wanna deal with those people anymore ever again in my life if I don't have to. I mean, I will deal with you, but I'll deal with you my way. And then in the news, they'll be like, radio host gets women to attempt suicide. And they'll come and interview me. And I'm like, he's happy. Like, yeah, I don't care. She hated me. She was, like, rooting for me to be fired. And

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

can you believe he. He caused this?

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Everybody causes your problems. You don't have anything to do with your own life. You're the CEO of nothing. Not even your own body.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

He made me sad.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Nobody makes you sad. You do that to yourself.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

I can't sleep.

[John Holmberg]

Yep.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

I couldn't either. Because when the mattress starts to swallow me like a taco shell,

[Brady]

you can't get up.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

I can't get up? Yeah, you're not. You might be sleeping, but it turns into a hammock. You're restless because you're trying to roll out of that giant hole you've dug in the middle of your Ma.

[Brett Vesely]

Did somebody say tacos?

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Yeah, she tried to. She actually tried to eat herself one night when she's.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

I'm a taco.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Yeah, I'm sorry.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing I can do about it.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

But I got that. I'm tired of people like this. Yeah, says Jesus, Rachel. You're just out of luck. Even Larry hates fat chicks.

[Brett Vesely]

Bring that back.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Not unless they got a great personality. Anybody with a great personality overcomes a lot. You're fat and a awful. You're like the perfect storm of awful and loneliness. Oh, I got to do it again. Sorry. Dearest Brady's. Jesus, baby.

[John Holmberg]

God, Jesus, Lord.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Could you make it so Rachel is always tanned on her left middle finger like it's never ever a tan line. And also loneliness is what ends up like her cats eat her cuz she

[John Holmberg]

can't get out of bed.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

They finally tired of getting kicked around the room. Please Lord, please Lord Brady's baby, Lord Jesus, Baby, baby, baby, hit me one more time. Thank you Lord Jesus.

[Brady]

Good prayer.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

That was a good one.

[Fisher Tools Announcer]

Dexter says, dear John, thank you for this morning's ride. I am the driver of Rachel's carpool and we are currently stuck in the Starbucks line.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

I hope that's true.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Oh, if Rachel's in the car, let me turn everybody. You, Rachel and your pudgy little fat fingers that typed me that letter.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh man, Kyle found a picture of Rachel.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Oh no, they got a photo of it.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, right here.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Oh my God, there she is just slobbing down the ranch. Oh, the poor lady can't sleep. She's got a whole bucket of ranch poured into her big fat mouth wearing Mormon underwear for some reason. Oh, look at those.

[Brett Vesely]

Jesus, there's no way those things are restless. Those things haven't moved in years.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Oh, they're not restless, they're just quaking from the day's activities. They're trying to calm down. It's like the sea. It's never going to stop being waves. Anyway. Anyway, it says, I'm impressed that she's not alone. Most of the dudes probably got stuck in her gravitational pull longer than they wanted to be there. Anyway. That's true. It's like a planet. Anyway, you know what I heard? And she probably got this from a bad doctor or he told her that ham was the cure and it turned out he was just a liar. You can't believe everything you read on the Internet there. Raging while you're up at night masturbating with your short fingernails and your big fat fingers because nobody else wants to touch carrot fingers. Your big carrot fingers.

[Brett Vesely]

Never heard of a carrot?

[John Holmberg]

No, she don't care.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

What's her carrot?

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Get Twix, Cheetos.

[Brady]

Sorry, Cheetos.

[John Holmberg]

They're what rabbits eat.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

You're not going to be interested.

[John Holmberg]

Don't worry about it.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

She also, she just emailed back said, hey, sorry about all that, Brady.

[John Holmberg]

How was that goat?

[John Holmberg (main host)]

After all, it's a lean protein. You're gonna hate it.

[John Holmberg]

So you've been going on and on

[John Holmberg (main host)]

about this prize at 8 o'.

[Brett Vesely]

Clock.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Is the prize today, Rachel's email to you because it's the best part of the day. Well, we'll see Later. If that's true. Matt. Leave me alone. Rachel, go. Go about your fat business. Leave me alone. Boy 1.

[Brett Vesely]

I really got you, man.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Look, you don't wanna. You don't wanna f. With a dude who had to stare at a couch cushion for seven solid days, 24 hours a day. It monkeys with your brain. Absolutely screws you up. You just. You just realize how fragile everything can be. And, like, there's nothing worse than being told you can't move. Rachel, you should know about this. But your restless legs keep you from that. What would happen if Rachel had eyes pop out? And I guarantee you, they pop out every time it says ranch. Two for one. He probably has to go see Dr. Schwartz every couple days.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

Only at a salad fries on Little Debbie's. My eyes popped out. I have Westler's trunk syndrome now.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Anyway, sorry about your disease. Nothing a little exercise won't cure. But I know you gotta look that up on Wikipedia and it's gonna take forever for your fat fingers to get around the E and the F and the R.

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

I'm going to keep hitting all the wrong letters with my big, fat fingers.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Branch House Grill has the Rachel specials because their sausages are the same size as her fingers. Delicious. Gigantic, too. Like, just really thick and heavy. Anyway, that's enough bashing on Rachel. God's done enough of that. Says that her driver's license is an aerial photo. That's probably true. She was at Oppenheimer and she looked over and she goes, why do they

[Rachel (caller/listener)]

call that one fat man? It's not that big.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Well, in comparison. Leave me alone. All right. 34 minutes till I get to tell you what's going on. Brett, what do you got for music?

[John Holmberg]

Over there in the big.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, they started coming. Coming in.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Oh, bring him. Let's just destroy Rachel's life. Please. I want her to move. Oh. Oh. Oh, dear, dear Lord, baby Jesus, Lord, could you get Doug Hopkins to actually call Rachel and try to buy her house and get her out of town? That would be awesome. Thank you, Jesus.

[Brett Vesely]

He'll give her 5,000.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Yeah, $5,000.

[John Holmberg]

Just leave.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Doug will give her a gift card to it. Oh, this guy says he works for a manatee rescue. They're on their way. You're lucky, Rachel. We got you covered. Don't worry about it.

[Brett Vesely]

Free ride.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Get a free ride wherever else. I'm hundreds and hundreds of miles, so you don't have to be, quote, subjected to me anymore, you fat.

[John Holmberg]

Sorry.

[Brett Vesely]

We have that.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

I hate her.

[Brett Vesely]

We have the new Morning Wake up song and.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Oh, yeah, you don't know it, so you got a point.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

My one eye again. That's right. Well, I'll tell you who it's copy of it. The Wake up song is brought to you by Modern Resolution Windows and Doors. You mentioned me. John Holmer. You get extra 500 off your total contract price. And Rachel, they have those big, big French doors that open double so you can get in and out of your house easier. They'll do anything for you. Probably have those collapsible. Collapsible ones. A whole wall opens up so Rachel can easily move in and out to get in the bariatric hospital ambulance that's coming your way, sister. Well, then you should walk to the hospital and get that fixed. Oh, Zempic. What's wrong with you gaining weight? Nobody gains weight anymore. Anyway. Anyway. Modern Resolution Windows and Doors helping you out. Wake Up Song style. Tell me what you got, Brett.

[Brett Vesely]

All right. Three Days Grace on the list. The Clash, Rock the Casbah for Brady's Restaurant Experience. Mastodon Curl, the Burl Pantera. System of a Down, Lonely Day for Rachel. Slipknot Eyeless for you. Bollywood Avenge, Sevenfold. Hail to the King for the State of the Union. Michael McDonald. What a fool Beliefs for Brady's Restaurant Visit. Stone Sour Absolute Zero for Rachel. Parkway Drive, Mod Spandex, Enormity, Dance of the Manatee on the list. And March of the Pigs from Nine Inch Nails.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Dance of the Manatee is something I haven't heard in a long time. Wasn't a huge fan when it came out, but it grew on me later. I think we have to do Dance of the Manatee for Rachel.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know if that's in the system.

[John Holmberg]

We'll see if I can find it.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Yeah, that's a good one.

[Brady]

Just makes me think about saving the matinees.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

That's right. You know, Rachel has the restless leg syndrome. And Scott Haynes says, I wonder if she's got that restless tail too when she her dung fling in the afternoon. That could be. I don't know. I just read this. A guy from Africa emailed and said, do you know that Rachels are more responsible for human deaths than any other animal on the planet? I didn't know that. I think you're confusing her with hippos. But it's an easy confusing thing. This one says, john, the contest that's coming up. My stepson's 17. Can he participate in this contest? Probably not.

[Brett Vesely]

I wouldn't think so.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

But if the phone is, and it should be, the Phone is under your name. You just lie when we say, hey, this kid won. And then you come in and say, that's mine. So just get your whole family involved. I'm telling you, this contest is worth it. Get the Rachels of your office that don't listen and hate me and family members and just get them to download the app, because why wouldn't you? And then get a text thread. I'm telling you the secret to this text thread. Thread to all those people. And every word, every hour, I give you a word, and it's gonna happen all day. You get that word, and boom, boom, boom. You tell everybody the word, they put it in. And then if one in your thread hits and you win the prize, you can make a deal with the winner. If they want to keep it, you're kind of running that risk. But odds are they're not listening and they're not caring. But if they're like, hey, I won. You know, Kenny, in your case, you can come and say, oh, that's me. I'm claiming that prize.

[Brett Vesely]

Tell Rachel you buy her a box of Ho Hos if she enters for you.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Oh, you can get Rachel. She'll probably get, like, 40 burner phones if you promise her some food. They probably tried to strap her down, but it was like when King Kong got. You know, he just broke free. I just got an email that said Rachel's climbing the Chase tower downtown. She's very angry.

[John Holmberg]

Restless legs are getting put to work.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

She's batted. She's batted down two news helicopters already.

[Brett Vesely]

Video game rampage, building down.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

Yeah. Oh. Evidently, Rachel has just stolen Princess Peach, and we need. We need a plumber to go find her real quick. Oh, no. This is terrible. All right, you got to dance with the man. There you go.

[John Holmberg]

Knock it silly. All right, here you go, everybody.

[John Holmberg (main host)]

It's your wake up song.

[John Holmberg]

It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station,

[John Holmberg (main host)]

PJ.

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