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Brett Vesely
You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories. Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?
John Holmberg
Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone
Jim Brewer
who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P
Brady
Guns where he'll get a fair offer
Jim Brewer
and he can rest easy knowing it's
Brady
not getting into the wrong hands.
Brett Vesely
Okay, but what if he lives out of state?
Jim Brewer
Easy.
John Holmberg
Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it.
Brady
Really?
John Holmberg
That simple?
Brett Vesely
There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.
John Holmberg
It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness. And I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my friends@liftedtrucks.com youm've heard me mention Kevin Costner, Trey McBride, other countless celebrities and pro athletes and how they chose lifted trucks. But that doesn't mean it's only for actors and pro athletes. It's for all of you. Everybody who loves a cool adventure. So if you're a huge celebrity like me or just an average Joe who wants the best truck available, head on over to Lifted Trucks. They live up to being the number one custom truck dealer for over 30 years.
Jim Brewer
Years.
John Holmberg
10,000 five star reviews can't be wrong. Liftedtrucks.com work hard, play hard, drive harder. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Wednesday, if you will. It is already halfway through the week. My name's John. There's Brady, there's Brett, there's Big Dick Toledo. And we are off and running on a very exciting day here. We gotta. I've gotten 8 o'.
Jim Brewer
Clock.
John Holmberg
I gotta wait it out till 8 o' clock to let you know that
Brady
we've got cards in here ready to go. Nope.
John Holmberg
I got my. I got my stuff. I got the announcement for 8 o' clock right here. And I'm not kidding. I'm telling you right now. I told everybody yesterday. People who hate us, people who like us, I don't care. All you have to do is go to the person next to you and say, I need you to download the KUPD app now. Does two things it keeps the radio bobs happy because they don't really look into the depth of anything. They're not smart enough. They're very shallow people. So they only look at the surface numbers and then hire someone else to dive deeper into the numbers they don't know. And then they act like they figured it all out. Basically, the simple, they want us to have people on the app. So download the app and tell your friends who listen. Tell your friends who don't listen. Family members, neighbors, everything else. Download this app, get into a text thread with these people, and then every hour on the hour after we start this at 8am text the. The word I give you and have them all sign up too and just say, look, in the end of this thing, if I win, I'll give you a few hundred bucks. How about that? Because you're going to be, you're going to be happy enough to do that and maybe even hand over, you know, halfsies on something for. But again, Grandma's, grandpa's, it doesn't matter. Our, our moron bosses just want those numbers to rise. They don't care who. They just want something. Right? They're never going to go, wow, we had like 7,000 downloads of the app of people in their 80s. They'll think we did something like John's, really appealing to the elderly, and then they'll have like nothing but Cadillac commercials for a month until that number drops again. But it doesn't matter. You have like hospice and Cadillac and what happened? Well, we already have like Herman's Hermits have been on here for a couple of months. So there's, trust me, that's how this business works. It's run by idiots. So, and then you get on the, on the computer as well, and you just get as many people as to be part of this in your circle. Build a team, because you're going to want to win. The thing we've got for you today, I, I think this is. And we've had some good stuff. This is one of the top fivers we've all done since I've been here for 25 plus years. This is like now. It's awesome and it's unique and everybody in their, in their brain says, oh, I would love to dot, dot, dot. Well, we're going to give you the dot, dot, dot. So many people are priced out of this thing, and that's not fair. We're going to get you in there. We're not going. Brady can't go. We can't be part of it. You can't own this.
Brady
What?
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, you can, but you're not. You're. You ain't doing it, man. This is super exclusive. You have to be a 1%er in the 1 percenter to get.
Brett Vesely
All right.
John Holmberg
I'm telling you right now. I'm telling you, I'm not going. It's the thing for.
Brett Vesely
Well, there's a hint. I'm not going.
John Holmberg
I'm not going to. Yes, okay. Fred's with me on this one. Eight o'. Clock. I'm not allowed to say a word until eight because there's a national announcement that goes along with this.
Brett Vesely
This is only our station, though.
John Holmberg
The only ones.
Brett Vesely
Okay, So a national announcement. So it's not like, be the 900th call. There's 100 other stations and.
John Holmberg
No, we don't pull that crap. We don't do that. I figured. But the corporate radio thing is lost on this station.
Brady
Okay.
John Holmberg
And by the way, I'd like to congratulate this building for having. What is it? The number 11 morning show. The number eight. Not us in the building. No, Izzy was number 11. Number eight was 13, I think. Well, she's. Okay. 13th. All right. And then. And then Larry was excited yesterday until I told him he's 11. He was the number eight program director for rock station in the country. But again, it was all done by a company we pay. So hilarious that awards were being handed out.
Brett Vesely
He should have got higher than that then.
John Holmberg
Wait a minute.
Brett Vesely
We need to give up that payment.
John Holmberg
That's what I said. People will say, well, you can't.
Brady
You can't make it look that obvious.
John Holmberg
We're not on the list. Of course we're not. I'm fine with that.
Brett Vesely
What happened?
John Holmberg
We're not very good at this. We're terrible at it. And I'm fine with that. I. Any. Any.
Brett Vesely
Because we turned it into a podcast.
John Holmberg
And they do. They know for. Yeah, because we're not. They know. I would make fun of any company that awards itself. Awards. And then starts bragging about it. I would make fun of that. Which I'm doing right now. And they're like, well, I'm ruining it. I'm gonna ruin it anyway. And then there's another chance also that they don't like us and we're terrible and that we didn't make the cut. And I'm fine with that too. Good. Anytime radio executives start saying that's a good show and it's me, I'm doing something wrong. Anytime radio executives get in a room and like that, Holmberg show is one of our favorites. So I go, yikes, we gotta change everything. These idiots don't know what radio, good radio sounds like. They've ruined entire industry. Every time I'm not on their list, I'm doing something great. For sure. Yeah, that's like Jeffrey Epstein going, this is the best preschool in all the land. It's like, oh my God, you don't want to be on that one. That's right. I just compared our bosses to Jeffrey Epstein and I mean it. Except Repein's better at what he did, not including Tripp.
Brett Vesely
He's not included in that one.
John Holmberg
He didn't ruin his business. No, no, no. Our boss. No, I'm talking like all radio executives, not even just our company. Like all of them. I've sat back for a quarter century and watched. Watched them slowly dig the grave.
Brady
Platoon.
John Holmberg
Yeah. And then they poke their little heads out of the grave and going, what's happening? Stop digging. We can't help but dig the grave. All right, either way, I've got it figured out. I can help you get in your text thread this morning and bother about 15. Each of you should bother about 15 people. Here's the other part of this. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe you can. I don't know if you can sell this after the thing we give you. I don't know if it's possible to sell this. Maybe it becomes your possession. So I suppose you could, but I don't know for sure. But if you win it and you're like, yuck, I don't want that. It's thousands and thousands of dollars of it. It's. It's lucrative, but I don't think you can sell it. Or maybe it's non transferable. I don't know. We'd have to look into that. But get your friends and family on board. This is a great prize.
Brett Vesely
If it's just good, why would you sell it?
John Holmberg
Huh?
Brett Vesely
I mean, you're selling this pretty high.
John Holmberg
There's always people who. And, and save it. You know what? All you weirdos right now, just text. You don't know what it is yet, but email me and go. That's it. Just stupid. Just email now. Get it out of your system. No matter what we say at 8 o', clock there's going to be 10 or 11 people who are douchebags, who hate everything, who. I thought it was going to be a big deal. I do that. All right, all right. Email me now that everything we're Going to do at 8 o' clock is stupid. And we'll just get it out of the system there. And it's just hourly words. That's it. We're making it easy. Just the same as the Nine Inch Nails that we did first because we wanted to kind of train you to be, you know, ready to go when this started. And we're going to do these a couple. This is a big one. But this is going to be great stuff. You boys don't even know what it is. No, not at all. Larry didn't even hint you last week, right? No, nothing. Not a clue. That's great. You're going to love it.
Brett Vesely
You better deliver on this.
John Holmberg
I'm delivering, baby. I'm going to email you. Right? You just. Just do it now.
Brady
I've already started.
John Holmberg
Just do it now. Yeah, because it's nothing worse than like real cynical dickheads that are already upset at the thing. They don't even know what it is. You made it such a big deal. You really overhyped this one. Just. Just get it now. Because I didn't. And when you look at the value of it's the people who go. Remember when we gave away that vintage car on our 40th anniversary? We gave away. That was a Camaro or a Trans Camaro. We gave away a Camaro and it was 40 years old. It was the same age as the Station of the Rock version. And that's pretty neat. And some guy's like. It's kinda like. He's like an old car.
Brady
Like.
John Holmberg
Well, yeah, that's what the whole point was. Yeah, I don't want that. So you don't want to win a free car? You can sell it. Yeah, I gotta pay taxes. Like. Then don't play and don't. What are you doing?
Brady
You know, you were rock right off the bat.
John Holmberg
You know, the lamest people in the world are the people who think you're also. I'm going to talk to you like a Gen Z. Er whatever. Boomer. When taxes are the first thing you think of, you're an idiot. That's it. Lottery winners who are like, well, the taxes. Stop it.
Brett Vesely
Carlos wants to know if it's a rah rah room pass for. For the year.
John Holmberg
No, I'll never have you in there. Okay, now, Carlos, you should be able to get in. I mean the back. The kitchen. But I mean, you should be able to. That would be fun. Although the suns are so decimated with injuries right now.
Brett Vesely
Is anybody playing anymore? No.
John Holmberg
And it's just a sad State of affairs. It's such a fun, good team, but they've, you know, everybody's hurt, but Dylan Brooks broke his arm. You know, it's just tough. And they've. They got 80 points sitting on IR right now every game. And they played for two quarters with the Celtics last night. And then Boston became the clear better team and they don't have a bench. The Suns are toast. And it's a shame, but still got to tip your cap to what they've accomplished so far. But now with Brooks out till probably they're hanging on to a seven or eight seed. And this was a team that could have, you know, won 48, 49 games if they'd have kept on it. They're. They were fun. Yeah. And so, God, I'm excited about 8 o'. Clock. I just kind of want to fast forward. Yeah, I just want to jump to 8. What is going on with this? This microphone's going crazy today anyway, says, I'm not going to fly to space with Katy Perry after this. I'm selling it, man. Yeah, well, that's a pretty good one. And I wouldn't say we're going to shoot you out of the atmosphere. That seems to be some sort of legal liability, but it's a good.
Brady
You know what?
John Holmberg
You can guess too. How about that? If you.
Brett Vesely
What if they guess it right, though? Can you.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I'll tell you. I'll let you know in the email. This one says. That's it, John. What a stupid prize. Thank you, Michael. Nobody wants your dumb signed yarmulke. All right, hilarious. But I have one of those. This is a great. The one eyed Jew's gonna end up trying to keep this for himself. All right, that's enough one eyed jokes. The Jew thing I'm getting used to. Yeah. Is it a Brady striptease? That's something you can't sell. That's true. I could. You would struggle. It is. It is. Without price, that is. Sure, I want to look the word priceless up there, but you and 12
Brady
friends are guests at the next State of the Union.
John Holmberg
Oh, heck, that would have been pretty good last night. That was kind of fun to watch at the hockey team. You could have met a lot of celebrities. Melania looked like a billion dollars. She wears men's clothes and she still looks hot. Remember, Hillary did it and everybody laughed at her. Melania showed up last night in like a men's suit, unbuttoned a little like, oh, man.
Brady
Documentary. Put it in the next level.
John Holmberg
Did you watch that?
Brady
No, no.
John Holmberg
Oh, you're saying that she got the exposure? Yeah, she's. She's gotten enough exposure, but man, she looked great. And she sits there with that it's sort of resting bitch face and I just got laid face all together. Like you just nailed a bitch. That's what she looks like to me. She looks mean and also like satisfied. I like that. I don't care about politics with what she thinks and feels, and neither should you. Again, I've said that a million times in my life. If a hot girl has different political beliefs than you and that keeps you from banging her, you've become a giant pussy. Real man. Before the NBA enacted the hostile act rules that we all are like not fighting back on, and before the NFL started to review if quarterbacks can take hits, back when we were men, you pretended to like the views of the hot girl, no matter if she was insane or not, just to get a piece of it. You shook your head when she asked a question. You play for the lobsters? Yes, I do. Just cause you're in a Scottsdale scorpion's hat. Whatever she says, she's right.
Brett Vesely
It's the pussification of America.
John Holmberg
It really is. And we somehow another spun it to go. You're a pussy for agreeing with her. A good woman likes a pushback. A good man likes a pushback. And the only way to get pushback is to get her pants off. This is ridiculous. How do I have to explain everything now? This one says, I can't believe you dumbasses hyped this garbage. Dumbest idea since the wnba. Thanks, Bob's Churchill. Yeah, thank you, Churchill. These are the types of emails I'm looking forward to when we actually do announce what is a great thing. It's gonna be awesome.
Brett Vesely
Dinner, Porkopolis, free Brady sauce for a year.
John Holmberg
You win a Porkopolis, we're gonna give you the keys to a Porkopolis and see if you can do it. See if you can make it work.
Brett Vesely
Front row tickets to Dandar.
Brady
You start sign already.
John Holmberg
Is the sign still there?
Brady
Still up there?
John Holmberg
It is.
Brady
Yeah. Glows at night.
John Holmberg
Well, it's the light.
Brady
Not during the day.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I wouldn't do that. Those are called lights.
Brady
We can't see it during the day.
John Holmberg
Where's the sign at?
Brady
The. The 202 Arizona Avenue.
John Holmberg
Oh, on that big monument. Has all the stuff inside of it or tells you what. All the stores in there?
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
They didn't change Porkopolis out? No, it's still there. You drive by and you look at it, you Know, you bastard. It's been years now.
Brady
Oh, yeah.
John Holmberg
And they still haven't climbed that ladder. And it's the.
Brady
It's been eight years because everything in
John Holmberg
that center has changed into some Indian bazaar.
Brett Vesely
Kevin and the crew haven't changed the sign over their restaurant.
John Holmberg
Bhakwani.
Brady
Yeah, I think that's how.
John Holmberg
And it still says Porkopolis on the thing.
Brady
No, it just on the. Yeah, on the. On the big.
John Holmberg
That's what I'm talking about. And that's the announcement of everything in the center.
Brady
Airstream. And then this. Just a white square when it's lit up.
John Holmberg
It's the Airstream. The trailer place.
Brady
Yep.
John Holmberg
They sell trailers at that Airstream.
Brett Vesely
The old Sam's Club.
Brady
Sam's Club.
John Holmberg
Oh, that's not a Sam's Club anymore. Oh, geez. Everything shut down over there. I don't know about that. Holy cow.
Brady
The Tell Brothers grocery store.
John Holmberg
They're doing all right. Have you eaten there since you went into the old Porkopolis and ate that garbage? Yeah, that foreign nonsense. What kind of America. I'm taking your gold medal away. You really went in to Halal Meats,
Brady
curious to see what they did?
John Holmberg
Curious? Yeah. I can tell you by the sign. It's terrible. There's too many K's in it.
Brett Vesely
Too much curry.
John Holmberg
There's a K's and H's next to each other.
Brady
No, K's and H. What is it?
John Holmberg
Well, there isn't. There's an H. There's always an H. There's probably a G or an L next to it. Doesn't make any sense. Lhasa Apso meals. I'm not eating there. K's and H is next to each other. I'm out.
Brady
How was it?
John Holmberg
Terrible. I don't answer for it. I know that. But he'll tell you it's not bad. No, he said no. He's still trying to get a free meal. Lamb and Singapore noodles there. Made by Indians.
Brady
Yeah, it's a.
John Holmberg
You're an idiot. This is a terrible. There's not a fusion. It's just. What do you want? And they made you some ramen.
Brett Vesely
He don't know.
Brady
Don't.
John Holmberg
He does not know a thing about. This is part of our culture. Do you eat this? This is like top ramen.
Jim Brewer
No, no, no, my friend.
John Holmberg
It's Halakalal and Halachala. How do you spell that? K, H, K, H, L, K, H, K, H, L, L, L. Whatever the
Brady
foot noodles were, they were good.
John Holmberg
You're insane. I'd have wandered back in there. Out of curiosity, having owned Porkopolis, I had to wander back in and going what color green did they paint this? Because I'm pretty sure there's like green and some gold letters that I don't know what they are. And then like pictures of the World Trade center and people dancing. That's my guess. That's what I'm a throw out there as a guess of the rebuild inside. And then they serve you. How dare you. How dare you serve Asian noodles with whatever Pakistani place they've got going on.
Brady
Yeah, you're right about terrible. It's not a world map.
John Holmberg
They got a United States and then like fire.
Brady
There are other restaurants around there and
John Holmberg
bullseyes, you know, like where they're located.
Brady
It's like Rocky Dennis's map and no,
John Holmberg
no, the Bullseyes is where this conversation ends. They put bullseyes over cities and then fire over a few of them with the dancing people in the skirts. I don't play that game. I'm not going to any kh khkh stores are out. I'm out.
Brett Vesely
Does it still look the same inside or they change it up?
Brady
Okay, it's the same.
John Holmberg
And I don't care how much you try to convince me.
Brady
Something closed off the kitchen though.
John Holmberg
Yeah, they did. I want you to see that. That's where their plans hatch. So their plans are hatched and some dude just sitting there on the ground with a pot and dirty hands scrubbing up bomb making materials and noodles for. We have a customer for what he wants food. What they we make bombs here. They don't know that though. They see this is a cover, my friend.
Brady
I had to wait for my table. They hand me a cell phone. We'll call you when you're up.
John Holmberg
Hello, Welco. Can I help you? Yeah, I see that you got a lot of bolts on here. Yes, we're bomb making facility. Are you an idiot?
Brett Vesely
Leave your pager at the door.
John Holmberg
Well, I don't want to be a racist, but I would have never guessed. Then you're an idiot. That's what we do is trap them to ourselves and do not watch the news.
Brady
The delivery Toyota truck is out there.
John Holmberg
The 50 cal of burritos. I'm not eating in that. And he went in and you had a meal.
Brady
You want to sit outside with sandbags?
John Holmberg
Yeah. Did you tell everybody like in there, this used to be my playground? I did you start singing that Madonna
Jim Brewer
used to be my playground.
John Holmberg
We have a very large woman who is upset singing Madonna in our. We don't know why? And I think he wants food. Like we have to actually make food for him. This will be our first cult customer. And I don't understand what. Okay, I will go handle all the problems.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
We didn't have. This wall used to be this.
Jim Brewer
This wall used to be.
John Holmberg
Thank you, Brett. This wall used to be. I gotta stay in character while I giggle. This used to be red and it said Porkopolis. Now it's just a map of the United States with bullseyes on it and little fires in New York. That's neat. Must be. They must be electricians and stuff. And they know how to. How come there's a bullseye in San Antonio? We must destroy the fats. This used to be my playground. What is wrong with you, lady? I'm a boy. This used to be my.
Brady
The tabletops are all stacked on the computer towers.
John Holmberg
This used to be the place I ran to. Do you want to order noodles or not? Hide down there.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
John Holmberg
This was where I used to stand and do nothing. Called it the hostess stand. Know what to do?
Brady
I'm going there today.
John Holmberg
This is where I used to stand with a bartender. I hired a black guy to be the bartender. He couldn't make drinks, but I hired him anyways. Now he's my slave at home. He cleans my house on Thursdays.
Brady
Rodney.
John Holmberg
Yesterday. Yesterday.
Jim Brewer
Hello, Rodney.
Brady
Great job.
John Holmberg
Used to be a bartender at the Porkopolis. We don't have bar.
Jim Brewer
No alcohol. That's right.
John Holmberg
Oh, doesn't like that, does he?
Jim Brewer
I don't like it either.
John Holmberg
I'm. Anyway, you guys were really specific about the dancing people around Manhattan. Could you explain that? Yes. When the towers went down, we celebrated greatly. We lost 19 good men that day.
Brady
They're up on the wall.
John Holmberg
Yeah, they're in the bathroom.
Brady
Employees of the month.
John Holmberg
Yes. We can tell you exactly what they are. Employees of all time. They're hall of fame. They Porkopolis forever card. You went in there and ate at a place with too many K's and H's. You're a moron. Brady will drive up anywhere that just says cuisine. You try to convince me that something called pho isn't a joke against us. People like Brady go wandering in there. Pho. What's that taste like? Oh, you're gonna have love.
Jim Brewer
Pho or what?
John Holmberg
Oughta fuffle fat lady.
Jim Brewer
I'm a boy.
John Holmberg
I would love to film Brad walking around and you do that thing where he's just looking up and the camera spins. It spins around you like carousels around you. You just look like you're. You're lost in it.
Brett Vesely
We gotta go today.
John Holmberg
Yeah. It's almost worth it. It's almost film. I'm not going with you. Okay, well, hires just a film. Max will do it. You're an idiot. I can't believe you said foot back in there. It was bad enough to eat at Porkopolis. You went back into the worst part. Morning sickness. Medicate, can you? Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my friend Wayne from AMCO. Wayne, it's tax time. You filed, and your refunds burn in
Brady
a hole in your pocket.
Jim Brewer
That's right, Larry. Before you book a trip or buy something shiny, please remember your car. Tax time's the best time to take care of all the car repairs you've been putting off.
John Holmberg
Sure, because nothing kills a tax refund buzz faster than a surprise car breakdown. I'll say.
Jim Brewer
If your car's been acting up, now's the time to handle it.
John Holmberg
Should we wait for our refund before getting repairs?
Jim Brewer
No way. AMCO payment plans let you get repairs now and pay when you get your check.
Brady
Google AMCO for your nearest location.
John Holmberg
That's amco. Double A MCO transmissions and a whole lot Holmberg's morning sickness. Towards the end there, it's like, oh, it's just lonesome. And now you just too. You guys seem to make food with hammers and drills. My kitchen sounds busy. We're making bombs, you moron. What is this here on the menu? It says hang glider lessons. Yes, it's a feature for just today. Okay, I'll take two hang glider lessons and a hala hala hala. Yeah, you can call it bigoted, but that's what their food is, and I'll never eat it. No, but I'm dying to see Brady walk around with this song playing in the back. Just.
Brady
I got to queue it up at the table.
John Holmberg
It would be even better. Brett. He walks up to the door. It's not. It's locked. One in the afternoon. How do they keep their business afloat? There's a big woman outside, and she's shaking the doors. You don't suppose.
Jim Brewer
Are you guys open?
John Holmberg
This was my playground. What the hell is wrong with that?
Brady
Kind of cool. All the tables are facing east.
John Holmberg
Let her in. Let them in. They don't have tables. They're just rugs. What's going on? Excuse me, Aladdin. Do you have a reservation? Hey, I'd like the Aladdin special. Ooh, the Jasmine. That sounds good.
Jim Brewer
I'll have that. Do you guys have Genies.
John Holmberg
He wants to hear Madonna and just walk through the kitchen. Do we. Do we show him the kitchen? Look, my friend, he's so oblivious. I think he'll walk right by bombs and not know. What is that? A smoker. Gee, that thing looks.
Jim Brewer
Where's the top of it?
John Holmberg
We forgot to put a hinge on the top. So the meat is forever trapped inside. The goats live in there.
Brady
What's in the wood cases?
John Holmberg
Nothing. Don't worry about that. That's where we keep the chicken feathers. Oh, yeah. I gotta keep those feathers out of the meals. The meals? Oh, yes, the meals. Yes, of course. The meals. We make meals. Cool.
Brady
You're working with Clay.
John Holmberg
Did you go. Did you bitterly go on a yelp afterwards as one started on Brady Logan's things? I like the old place better.
Brady
Zulala's hostility every day
John Holmberg
Paragolis turned into terrorism. Welcome to 91 1s. Can I help you? Oh, yeah. Emergency. Emergency. I'm hungry. Yes, there was a tower special. We do the two tower specials and all you can eat. Two towers. You want Building seven?
Jim Brewer
We didn't do that one.
John Holmberg
You guys did that one building. We did not Building seven. But Building seven is a very good chicken sandwich with on it. That's just a loogie. Hey, he gets it now. Finally. You think we want to serve you, you infidel? No. You guys are really assimilated to our culture by this map of America is super accurate. Look at all the freeways. You have all the freeways on here. Like. And the bridges are marked.
Brady
This is cool. Let me do with this one. You got this a little wrong.
John Holmberg
This is right. The coordinates of this are a little different because there's a raising canes there. So I know that that road goes under the. Not above it.
Brett Vesely
Can I get the flight number 93.
John Holmberg
Oh, I have a flight 93. Yeah. That is a. It's a big, big bowl into a. It's a greens. And it's just a huge hole in greens. Oh, yeah, because that's. They crashed into the big field of grass. Yes, I understand. Can I have the let's roll? That's. You get rolls right off the bat. It's a basket of let's rolls.
Brady
All the plates are shaped like pentagons.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Little pentagon shaped. Yeah. We'll have the. For dessert, we'll have a Bush Cheney. They're very. The clowns come out and deliver ice cream. Anyway, these jokes are brand new to us. We are living in the past. We know we need a new. We need a new Hit sort of the Kashagougou of terror, really. How do you get better than what they did anyway? That's how that works. Sorry. Good to be home. Glad to have one eye for that. I ate there once, he says, and Bretton are like, wash him like Silkwood. How often. How long after Porkopolis shut down did you go in and eat it? Probably a year. You went in a year? Till they got it. Till they got it straight. Till they got their act together. Till they started getting the bomb making material at a, you know, high. We're enriching uranium in the kitchen. If you. Oh, yeah, yeah. They gotta have that for the sauces, right? Yes, that's right. Will you please stop walking around nostalgically? You're making us feel terrible and we don't have feelings.
Brett Vesely
Andrew wants to know if you had the infidel special.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I'd like to have the infidel. 72 virgins who are sullied before they come to your table. They sully the sluts and then we bring them out. They used to be virgins, but now they are just typical white Horse.
Brett Vesely
Genie's the waiter.
John Holmberg
What do you need?
Jim Brewer
The Blue Genie.
John Holmberg
I'll take the Sunni rice he's going to make. Then they just one guy leaves, comes back with a bag of food or doordash shows up. Here's your order. Did you not cook that? Yeah, we took it the round back last was the kitchen is fully functional for food. Yes, of course.
Brett Vesely
Just pull a cup of noodles out. Here you go.
John Holmberg
Wow. I never thought I'd read these words. What's up? The email says this reminds me of that episode of Gomer Pyle. I should stop now.
Jim Brewer
What?
John Holmberg
It does. You've been putting that in your back pocket for a couple years. Says there was a couple of guys trying to break into a bank from the basement of a restaurant that they weren't actually making food in. Gomer and his girlfriend. Girlfriend. That was a good comment. They went in to eat and the guys had to actually make them food as they were trying to cut through the wall in the basement in the back. Yes. Well, that's where I get most of my inspiration is old Gomer Pile Pasta. You finally found my. My fountain of stuff.
Brady
We're gonna have to go to Gunsmoke now.
John Holmberg
Yeah. I gotta move off Gomer Pile now and get into Get Smart.
Jim Brewer
Yeah.
John Holmberg
My Gomer Pile Robin days are over. Dang. Oh, man. It got us through 25 years. Years. So many classic ideas. That's why for years and if you listen to the best of us, a lot of the times you'll hear me when Brady says something, I just go pile. And then, oops, I can't do that.
Brady
Dump that.
John Holmberg
Yeah, dump that. Dump that. They'll know. This one says, damn. John, I think Brett missed you. He didn't belly laugh once while Larry filled in not being racist. I missed this Brett. Yeah, well, I'll bring that party to Brett. Look how fast Brett cues up the tune.
Brady
Oh, there's one. There was. There's one time for sure videos.
John Holmberg
Oh, well, yeah, when Larry's uncomfortable. Brad. Oh, that was great. Yeah, yeah, we can do that anytime. Anyway, by the way, speaking of terrorists, some dude just climbed the fence and started running around on the sky harbor's Runway. And we thought we were over that. I have a. I have a. Like, I'm watching. And they're. It's. It's not enough to, like, change the. Everything. There's one dude, right? But since it's so infrequent, I think, like, those types of crimes that, like, one dude does life sentence. Like, no, there's no.
Jim Brewer
Like, that's it.
John Holmberg
Like, that'll discourage. Because, you know, people go, oh, he had mental health. There's plenty of people with mental health disorders that aren't climbing on to the. He knew what he was doing whether he was mentally unhealthy or not. And clearly he's mentally unhealthy to the point where. Where life sentence makes sense. You do one of those dummy crimes where it's like, all right, no one else is doing this. Like, you're the only one. You go to jail forever. That's the punishment. Like, life sentence. And people like, well, he can be rehabilitated. Nope. Then don't do it, because you don't have to be rehabilitated if you don't do the dumb thing. So just that's it. And because the guy in the news last night was like, well, there's signs saying not to do it. Like, everybody knows. The craziest person on the planet. It knows not to climb the fence and run around on the. On the Runway, I think.
Brady
And they're. I don't know. It's hard to not to believe the reason why he's doing that. He's wanting to get caught. I don't care.
John Holmberg
Yeah, just a life sentence.
Brady
I mean, just like the kid that, you know, did mir laga. There.
John Holmberg
Good. All right, fine.
Brady
He got his life sentence.
John Holmberg
Whatever your motivation is and why you're doing it, dummy crimes are life sentence and That's a dummy crime. That's a. That's one of those dummy crimes. In fact, they should, like, lower it down to like, tons of felonies that we give people second to know. You would. And it's not even like Middle Eastern where they look, they don't have a lot of crime over there. It's a little, you know, to push too far the other way. But they pretty much keep it crime free. There's too much going on there where. That's why I always wonder why I see those specials where there's gays and like, Islamabad, and they'll do a thing like, it's so hard to be gay here. And I'm like, yeah, it is. I choose the. I would power through some vagina before. I'd like risk the morality police at night finding me in one of their blue robes. Just, you know. And then I saw this one specialist dude was. It's the Locked up abroad. Yeah. And he's over there in the. And he's gay and he wants a piece. Like, have some pride and jerk it in your house. So he gets to another guy who gives him. This is back in the days where you had to download AOL and things like that. He gives him a disc and he says, put this in your computer. It's the dark web. We can be gay on that. I don't know how he found this guy, but he did. Remember the dude we talked about a few months ago that opened the gay bar in Pakistan? I was like, they're gonna blow that up. That's going away.
Brett Vesely
Whatever happened to him?
John Holmberg
He's long dead.
Brady
Vapors.
John Holmberg
But the dude got, you know, on the gay Internet over there and then started having dudes and blue rubs hanging around his house at like five, six o' clock at night. And he's like, oh, the blue rubs, what are they doing here? I'm like, what are they doing here? Like, you know, you broke like a huge rule there. I wouldn't be gay. I don't care if I was Ms. J from America's Next Top Model. I would be in a suit and I'd be. Lady's got a great eye. I don't know what they see, but. Yeah, you don't. You just don't. So dummy crimes are. You go climbing around on our runways immediately. It's like you're arrested and you face a life sentence. And it'll keep even crazies off from doing that. And plus, it's like, good we got him. Like, people who jump fences and run on Freeways, they ain't coming back to society normal. That's just. Nobody wants what was. I think nobody. I was really off that day. Now you're not coming back. We're. Let's be done with that. And you get those people with mental health, you know, like, oh, he's got it.
Brady
Just.
John Holmberg
I'm tired of being nice to that. That's enough. It's an excuse now. We've abused it. It used to be real, and now everybody has something mental health that causes them not to take accountability. And that's really what it is. And like yesterday, the thing I blame most was when the NBA let women ref. Seems like that's when it all went haywire with accountability. Like, once we let women start making decisions on an NBA court, all the rules changed. Even outside of the NBA, where we have to tolerate somebody who jumps out onto a Runway at a major airport. And we got mental issues. Yeah, I know. We used to lock those people up like nobody's business. Ever since the introduction of the hostile act in the NBA, it seems like we've lost all accountability. You just be accountable. I made a mistake. I jumped a fence and I went onto the freeway or the Runway at the airport. Like, oh, that's a life sentence. Yeah, I'm going to jail forever now. I was dumb. Yeah, but are you mentally disturbed? I don't think we even need to really look into that. I think immediately when I started to climb the airport fence, I announced my mental disturbing. I am disturbed for sure.
Brady
Sure.
John Holmberg
What are you guys talking about? I'm in heaven. There's no heaven. There's enough heaven. You don't go to outer heaven. I've got to get you over there. Are they spitting your food? You know that, right? Did you tell them I used to own this place?
Brady
It's good stuff.
John Holmberg
Did you tell them?
Brady
No.
John Holmberg
You didn't?
Brady
No.
John Holmberg
You went in there and didn't say.
Brady
The person that was, you know, waiting
John Holmberg
on me, really not interested in you at all. He was busy. Busy. It's busy learning how to take. Have a plane take off. He's learning half of how to fly.
Brett Vesely
How much scrubbing did they have to do before they opened up? Because all the pork in there.
John Holmberg
Oh, my God. I mean, the blessings. I mean, you're right, man. I didn't think of that, you know.
Brady
Well, there.
John Holmberg
Yeah, go ahead. Did you help scrub the pork?
Brady
I'm not sure. I mean, if it's Indian.
John Holmberg
It is an Indian. Is it Hindu? What are they? I thought it was Middle Eastern. You don't know. Let me see if I can find the place.
Brady
I don't think it was Middle Eastern. It's more Indian restaurant.
John Holmberg
Indians don't have K's and H's.
Brady
No, it was B, A G, W, a N. I don't know.
John Holmberg
Yeah, you don't know. What did you call them, though? The names of the dudes who run it? I thought it was all Middle Eastern. Now you don't know.
Brady
Oh, Patel brothers.
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, that is Indian. Yeah, well, either way, it scares me to. Too many K's and H's in a restaurant title and I'm out. Fu isn't food. It's a joke. Yeah, it's not a thing. F. I got. People tell me that all the time
Brady
or something like that.
Brett Vesely
There is a Patel Brothers in that shopping cent.
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's the. That's where they. That's where they sell the hang.
Brady
Grocery store.
John Holmberg
That's right. They'd have to scrub that, too, because there used to be a Jamba Juice in there. I don't think.
Brady
Still there. The smoothie place that survived and now they're Middle Eastern. Oh, no.
John Holmberg
About that. The Jamba Juice made it. All this stuff's changing around them. Can't even get a Sam's Club to
Brady
go through that changed hands two or
John Holmberg
three times, but they just kept it.
Brady
There it is. Yep. That's it.
Brett Vesely
4.1 stars.
John Holmberg
There's a K. Nope. Okay, 4.1 stars. Mine used to have four. Seven.
Brady
Go to the menu, don't.
John Holmberg
Go to the menu. Don't. Brett, I didn't need to see that right now.
Brady
I just want to make sure I.
John Holmberg
All right. No, no, just. Brett, you did it. You did exactly what I said.
Brady
Goat.
Jim Brewer
We got goat. Of course you've got goat.
John Holmberg
Did you not expect goat to be the feature goat? There's a thing. I'm not going in. Goats on the menu. We are a. We are first world. Did you not watch the president last night? And I want to make it so nobody eats goat. Especially. Especially in the. Somalians bring their Szechuan ha noodles. How do you know what to get off of that? You don't know any of. That's what I got.
Brady
What are you.
John Holmberg
It's on fire. You read. Goat. Goat. Goat with sauce. Goat hoof. Goat deep fried. And then you're like, I don't know what it is. I'll take the noodles of noodle. What's a Szechuan haka? Noodle. Brady, why would you order that?
Jim Brewer
Because it had a pepper next to
Brett Vesely
it not like spice.
Brady
Good spice, good spice.
John Holmberg
Haha.
Brett Vesely
Noodles stir fried with your choice of vegetable or meat in spicy Szechuan sauce.
John Holmberg
Mito. You have choice of a protein of goat. Billy bass. Billy bass. I'll have some chicken. No, no, no, no, no, my friend. God. Bill. When I say vegetable, it means we cut up people who are, you know, handicapped. We serve vegetable meat.
Brady
It seems to be a wheel on this.
John Holmberg
Yeah, this is a cog. Oh, sorry. That's for the other guys. Order. That guy got so much food, he's got a flatbed. That's a heavy order. Goat. It says it right there.
Jim Brewer
Yeah, like in big red letters.
John Holmberg
These are goat selections. Get the out of that restaurant. The second the word goat is prominently displayed on the menu, you're not an American anymore.
Brady
You're making me hungry.
John Holmberg
Brett goat.
Brett Vesely
Fried biryani.
John Holmberg
The obvious question. Everybody wants to know what's goat taste like? Brad?
Brady
Chicken.
John Holmberg
Yes. You had goat? No surprise there. Jade, Some goat. Your parents. Your dad fought in the Cuban revolution for the bad guys. He lied to the family for years about his involvement in the CIA and all sorts of stuff. He had kids with lunch ladies. He made a great living. He gave you guys a great life here in the United States. Why? So you could go play pretend you're dead poor and eat goat somewhere like you're in the deserts of Krapistan?
Brady
That's good. God.
John Holmberg
Goat. No, there's no such thing. Did you rate it? That's not bad goat. You wouldn't know. You know, I know you don't like it because since then you've never gone home and slow roasted one. And if you liked goat, you'd make one yourself. You've. Don't act like. Well, maybe I will. No, you won't because it's gross and it's poor people food and they're easy to catch. Food that's easy to catch outside of cows. God damn it. Are those delicious? And they're probably pretty borderline, like, we shouldn't be doing this, but there's so much good. Me goat. They're mean, they're ugly. They look. They look tough even when they're alive. That doesn't. That's not meat. I want. I want a. I want a docile animal that barely moves.
Jim Brewer
Yeah.
Brady
I mean, it's down three or four on the list of meats.
John Holmberg
Yeah. I want one that can fight back and actually win. The cow could actually get you a goat. Starts fighting, you just step away and laugh like, he's mean, but he'll Kill. You know, if you're eating ram goat. Look at the garbage in that.
Brady
There's the noodles right there, Brad. I think that's it.
John Holmberg
This one here, Szechuan.
Brady
Yeah, yeah.
John Holmberg
Ian said, I just left a review. Said the food here is bad. We've got Jim Brewer coming in later today, so go, boys. It's an appropriate start finish, anyway. All right, let's get a wake up song, shall we, for Brady and his silliness and everybody that jumps a fence and goes on the Runway, it's life sentence. We don't dick around with your mental health anymore. I'm tired of that. Even like crazy lefties, like the way far left fringe ones are. Like, you shouldn't even have prisons. You guys know jumping over a fence and running around on a. On a Runway is like automatic. You're out of society. Right? We're done with him. We've had enough. And the second you start saying, well, he needed a second chance, when he blows up the Chase building and be like, well, told you, we don't need hindsight. Yeah, yeah. Because you go without that. You know, hindsight is 20 20. History tells you everything due to CL around running around on a freeway or a Runway. He's up to no good. And it's not the last time he's going to do it.
Brady
Sorry. When flights delayed from the winter storms back east.
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, I don't care. You don't climb fences at airports. But he's running around with his hand screaming and running around like, yeah, immediately. Should just laser that dude. Like, whatever, anything. Just obliterate him. Him. No funeral, no car wash to raise money for his pine casket. He's out. You're done. We done with you. Hey, let's see. Qualified for the job. It says here you had a felony. What'd you do? One day I climbed a fence and I ran around on a Runway. All right, we're done here. You're not getting a job ever. No, I'm over it. Nobody gets over that.
Brett Vesely
Dummy Hut. Trevor.
Jim Brewer
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
John Holmberg
You're not gonna get it. Chiba hut would even be like, we're classy operation. We're not hiring some idiot who jumped a fence,
Jim Brewer
wanted to get out on the Runway.
John Holmberg
All right, you're out. You're gonna snap again. This isn't an isolated incident. Very rarely does a CEO of a company like, I turned it into a billion dollar operation. Then you Google him and he's like, I jumped a fence, ran around a Runway for a little while, started a little shaky. It's never happened. It's never going to and it never will. I'm old enough now to know trends are what they are. That guy.
Brady
There's only. There's only in one that is allowed that that has happened to that ran
John Holmberg
around on a Runway.
Brady
No, not a Runway. But he did prison time. And then who? Dave's killer Brett.
John Holmberg
Oh, nobody knows what you're talking about, Brady this. He might have done a drug deal. That's not a dummy crime. That's what everybody's done. You have a felony on your record and still move on. You run around dummy crime Runway. You're not going to start Dave's killer bread after that food criminal. Yeah, food criminal. He knows that one. That's his go to to.
Brett Vesely
Maybe it was a door dash for ha down there.
John Holmberg
They were delivering it at the airport. Well, there is one little outlier to your story. The guy from Diggs killer. Did he kill someone and he calls it that because that's proof he's still crazy. Yeah.
Brady
I don't know.
John Holmberg
It was like you just know he did time.
Brady
He did time. Yeah.
John Holmberg
And then he started bread. And that's your go to as crazy guy who got better? No, he didn't run around on a Runway. No, that's crazy. Back in your store. Give us the wake up song 585-9800 this got me forgot how slow this thing. I just had it in my head. You give it to us, we'll scream it together. It's 98k. You're gonna wake up Arizona's most powerful powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you?
Jim Brewer
Yeah, yeah. Feeling good on a Wednesday.
John Holmberg
Yeah, this is a. It's a good Wednesday. We're an hour and 11 minutes away. 10 minutes away from me giving you the the prize that you guys can be mad at now I'll let all the haters and nonsense holmberg@98kupd.com fired away start telling me how crappy this pride. You don't know what we're giving away is because I've said it's good. There's always a few out there. They're out there. Churchill says. I can't believe you douches hyped this garbage. Dumbest idea since the wnba. Thanks a lot, Bob. Yeah, a ton of them. No dream. Great. Everyone knows only TEMU prizes from you lib cucks happen around 8am I hate happiness sign miserable listener. What are you giving away Cardinal Passes for the next season. I'm good. Thanks, bro. Yeah, no, I wouldn't hype that up. That's a punishment. I'd rather be the dude who's running around on the Runway. This one says, john, I was putting on mascara when you said there's a fat lady who wants food outside. And I laugh so hard, I poke my eye out. Tad, camera. Don't do it. No eye issues. No more eye issues. Although it is hilarious to think of Middle Easterners seeing Brady and thinking he's an. He's an unclothed whore woman. Look at the ankles and her face. I wish Allah would bring his winged horse, Barack and just bash into that fat woman.
Brady
I do like her beard.
John Holmberg
Say the Twin Towers is burnt. New York ends. I don't know what that is. I'll have two of those.
Brett Vesely
Donovan wanted to know how the jihad fries were, Brady.
Brady
They were a struggle, but they were good.
John Holmberg
One of the guys said, for dessert. I don't know what. What do we have for dessert? And the guy in the back goes, yellow cake. Oh, yes, Yellow cake. Enriched uranium. I'll try some of that. That sounds moist. Oh, eight o'.
Brady
Clock.
John Holmberg
I'm gonna give it away. An hour and eight minutes, I'm gonna start talking to you about something. Awesome.
Brady
Awesome.
John Holmberg
And by the way, one of our listeners guessed it, and none of this has been announced to anybody anywhere at all. One of our listeners guessed it, so I told him, cha ching, shut your mouth. Yeah. And I said, don't tell. Don't ruin it for everybody. But we'll get a bunch of people that'll start barking about how much they hate this thing. But it is a great one. It is a great one for sure. Before we move on to anything else, I got this email from a lady named Rachel. I hope she's listening. I don't know that she is anymore, but I hope she is. And I don't even know where this came from during the best of. I might have mentioned. I don't know, I was face down in a. Oh, by the way, you know what the worst thing about this patch on my face is? My phone doesn't recognize me anymore.
Brett Vesely
Oh, man.
John Holmberg
Oh, it's nearly impossible. Like, get all your everything.
Brady
Do it from the profile. Got a password? Everything.
John Holmberg
I'm trying to. Like, it's me. I want the old thumbprint back. It's like, no, what's your password? And I'm like, JonBenet's six, nine, exclamation. I don't remember. That was my password for a While I had to tell a person. That was a DirecTV. No, it was Netflix. What is your password? I have to tell you. Yes, Jon B E N E T. S. Joan Binet. Yes, I'm familiar. Oh, great. T I 69. You're a pig. I know. Who would ever guess that it is the safest password in the world? So I had to change it to her C word. It's the best password ever. If they allowed longer ones, I'd do the My uncle used to spit in my mouth. 69. Next to. Nobody's guessing that uncle fingers. Adult trauma six, nine, exclamation point. But try it. Use JonBenet. And then a body part. And then when you have to tell somebody about that was. I had that with the quantum link guy that came to the rental house. I just need your password. And we're off and running. I'm like, okay, it's I JonBenet.
Brady
As you're laughing, doing the password the day.
John Holmberg
Oh, I love it. It's still great. It's just a little weird to say it out loud because then you know, know. And then the dude, I think he called himself the Cincinnati Kid, goes, that's great, man. I'm like, yeah, that's pretty good. Anyway, back to what I was talking about. So during the best of Evidently Toledo ran something where I mentioned restless leg syndrome or this lady's been holding it for years. I don't know. But she says Dear John. Doesn't say Dear John. I mean, it says, john says, I have restless leg syndrome, and it's very real. And you dismissing it is rude and ignorant. It keeps me up all night sometimes, and I struggle with sleep disorders. The medication makes me depressed and miserable. I've actually lost relationship and gained £50. Well, that's why you lost relationships. It had nothing to do with your legs. Exactly. I mean, it has something to do with your legs.
Brady
Your legs are, you know, added. That weight would hold the leg down
John Holmberg
or something, and maybe she thought she'd anchor herself to bed. This isn't helping our relationship with Rachel
Brady
theory. Just a theory.
John Holmberg
It's a good theory, though, and it does have something to do with your legs. While men were leaving or too hard to pry open, they were getting tired and passing out, moving. It was like Indiana Jones finding a temple and having to squeeze those giant. Jesus had less to do when he moved the rock anyway, says, I've lost relationships, gained 50 pounds from my disorder.
Brett Vesely
There you go.
John Holmberg
Is that enough for you to make fun of someone's disorder? I listened to your show what you got. Yeah. Oh, I listened to your sh. Oh, Bret degree. Yeah, that's complete. It's plenty you've given. You don't need to read anymore. Actually, tons of ammunition to make fun of your issue. That is, by the way, all made up. I listened to your show while carpooling. My dad used to listen to you. So I've been subjected to you in the past. I can't believe you're still allowed on the air, Rachel. Well, Rachel, you're just tired. I. I'll give it to you. You're kind of a cuz you're tired. And that's not my fault. You walk into the refrigerator, moving those giant legs around at night's got to wear everybody. I don't know how. You're not getting any sleep. You're doing all that jogging in place in your serta. I don't know how it's happening. Restless leg syndrome is not real. Never have I seen one of those hungry people in Africa talking to one of those Christian missionaries. What's the biggest problem in your life? I can't get any sleep because my legs just dance and dance. They just want some milk and a bowl of, like, gruel. Nobody else has it. Only Americans have restless leg syndrome. Oh, it's very. I remember Megan's mom did that years ago and told me that she had restless leg syndrome. I rolled my eyes and she goes, well, my mother had it, and I had to remind her she was adopted. You can't pass it down through the adoption paper. Nobody's got it for real. You're just restless. It's like a puppy that barks at night. You didn't walk them enough in the daytime. Get those giant thunder thighs out there, Rachel, and walk the canals a couple miles a day. I guarantee you those things will settle down in your sleep. The more I do, the more I run. Well, then you're not worn out enough. It's like one of them whippets or border collies. They gotta run extra and you need to be doing some running, sister. You put £50 on because you can't sleep.
Brady
Stress eating.
John Holmberg
I guess that's what that is. Sounds like she's just eating. Stress eating is. I just. I think it's just eating. You can put anything you want in front of the word eating. You're just eating. I stress eat. No, you're just being a pig. Oh, it's because of stress. I have stress and I'm not a pig, so you don't understand. I haven't slept for years. I don't know how you're hauling those big old.
Brett Vesely
Put the HS around.
John Holmberg
Yeah, put the ho ho down. And stop putting stress in front of things everybody does and acting like you're different. I was stress eating. Shut up. You know, I. I get hungry every day and then I get stressful that I'm not going to eat and then I eat. So I guess I'm stress eating too.
Brett Vesely
Tell that dumb broad to put down the 32 ounces of monster energy before she goes to bed. Maybe she'll sleep. Look, there you go, Matthew.
John Holmberg
I don't know, Rachel. You said it about me. I'll say it about you now. I've been subjected to you. This sucks. You may have been subjected to me. My dad didn't even listen to you. You had to reach out and find me and now I've been subjected to you.
Brady
Yuck.
John Holmberg
Haul your sleepy huge legs into your job and complain to somebody there about me. Don't just direct. You think I'm gonna change about your made up disease? My legs are restless. You've lost relationships from restless legs?
Brady
Kids.
John Holmberg
You're annoying. That's why you've lost relationships. Any guy will tolerate restless legs. If you're good looking and you're nice, you're sleepy and you're fat. I'm gonna just call it as I see it. Nobody's gonna lay down next to that. You kick your cold ass feet kicking me at night? Because I guarantee you with those big ass legs you're hauling around, your feet are freezing.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, you got cold hooves.
John Holmberg
Oh, your hooves. Yeah, and you're probably gonna cut me with one of those cloven beasts. I am in no mood after last week to deal with any of these mother at all.
Brady
She should try that hypnotherapy.
John Holmberg
Oh yeah. Maybe I'll just put her to sleep forever. They should try Dr. Fixler at happy Endings. That'll get you some sleep. I would love that. If Dr. Fixler touched that big lady's chest and said she's at peace, that would be nice.
Brett Vesely
Dr. Carl basically says tell that cow to sleep standing up. Maybe the cankles won't get any bigger.
John Holmberg
You know what? You should go to where you're most comfortable. A buffet or leaning against the fridge. Maybe you'll get you'll knock out with your woobie. Not in the mood for you, Rachel. Just not in the mood.
Brett Vesely
I bet you put the trough on the other side of the house instead of next to the bed. Yeah.
John Holmberg
Mix in some lettuce in your trough and maybe you won't slop around in your sty much longer. Been subjected to me. Go your restless self. You need a good. What do they call that?
Brady
That's the kick in the pants.
John Holmberg
A good dicken, I think is what you need. Did Brady say hippo or hypnotherapy? That's a good point, Brady. What did you want to clarify? A hippo therapy. Because I think she's. My legs are so restless.
Brady
The hippo therapy is. Go check out that baby pygmy hippo at the Wildlife World Zoo.
John Holmberg
Nice. Good plug. Way to turn that.
Brady
I feel good about that.
John Holmberg
Way to go. Maybe Rachel just wasn't aware that she was jeffing while she slept.
Jim Brewer
Oh, that's true.
John Holmberg
She learned that yesterday. That you can jeff in your sleep. Well, it's the only ing she's actually doing in bed. What she needs is to be a little nicer to one of the guys that she's kicking all night long and get. Get a good dicking. I think that's all you need. He needs a good jeffing. You need a good jeffing and a good dicking and exercise during the day and you'll be tired at night. It's amazing how it works. I don't have time. Yeah, you do. You got time to stress eat. You got time. You got time to put £50 on over at Brady's. Hala challah meats and eating a goat and whatever else you can shove in that. Go.
Brady
It's tough to do that there.
John Holmberg
I'm not dealing with you. I'm not dealing with these people anymore. That's my new. That's my promise to you. I'm not dealing with dealing with these people anymore. I'm not going to be nice to you. I don't care if you listen ever again. Go away. I've been subjected to you. You have a lot happening to you and not a thing you're doing about it is changing your life. People are forcing radio shows down your throat and evidently cake. And you can't sleep because your legs run away from you. I would too.
Brady
Shut your mouth. I've been staring at the floor for five days.
John Holmberg
You know how intolerable your personality is. Your legs are trying to run away from you at night. Oh, it's just awful. They just move it all about. Well, stop it. Ah, I can't control my body. That sounds like you should go get like a shot.
Brett Vesely
Donovan said if she's getting divorced, he'll go hogging with her.
John Holmberg
See, there's guys out there that like You, Rachel, despite your grotesque size and your horrible attitude, I'll subject Donovan on you. Donovan's a big boy too. He's like 6, 7. I think he's a big one. There's a military. He's a veteran, damn it. Do you mean Veteran like the 19 gentlemen that we celebrate every 911 at Brady's old restaurant? Yes, a veteran. Veterans Day, 9 11, come down, eat free. Terrorists kids eat free. They blow up so fast.
Brady
Don't use app,
John Holmberg
don't use up. Don't bring in beeper. We know the Jews are doing not people. Anyway, Rachel, thanks for your letter. Now kindly go yourself into no sleep for the rest of your life. The good news about Rachel is she's not going to get a lot of sleep and that usually leads to like an early death. And I'm fine with that. Goodbye, Rachel. Thanks for sitting up all night long and pending me that nice email. I stress I put on 50. You put on 50 pounds because a restless leg. If your legs were restless, you'd be getting exercise at night.
Brett Vesely
Well, she was up already. She went for doordash to show up
John Holmberg
at 2am she's getting her steps in while she's laying down Red mobile too. It's a good thing you got restless leg syndrome or you'd have put on a hundred pounds. Yeah, how come the do you count your steps from the bedroom to the door to pick up your DoorDash order 11. That's a record. Rachel. Leave me alone.
Brady
Emily who used to work here had that little pedal thing at her desk.
John Holmberg
Yeah, because she was trying to lose weight. She wasn't. She was. She's working and it worked. She looked great. Yeah, she wasn't complaining that she had to do it.
Brady
Because I'm saying you got that leg that's turning, you know.
John Holmberg
You see that Rachel doesn't need that. She's peddling all the time anyway with her made up disease.
Brady
It's butter or ice cream with that thing.
John Holmberg
Somewhere along the line. Yeah, definitely butter churn. Oh, she'll make butter. Bad news is nobody else will get me. I made more butter. Well, where is it? Oh, I'm sorry, it's gone already. I'm Rachel the pig. I ate it all. Oh, you're gonna churn more? Probably. You turn cream into butter with your crazy legs and you managed to put weight on. How you doing this? Somewhere in like the 80s some woman at a postino said my legs don't like they move around at night. That's a good thing. That means your spine's Connected. No, no, I don't like like it. And then another lady said, me too. And it became a thing. It was never a thing. If my grandma was kicking around in bed, Alvar would have smacked her and said knock it off. And it would have stopped.
Brady
Duct tape would have been involved.
John Holmberg
She'd have been strapped into some sort of weird bed in a facility. She's nuts. They just said she's crazy and put her away like the Kennedys used to do their kick.
Brett Vesely
Ladies, more emails, please.
John Holmberg
Keep them coming. That's great. It says here's what happened on Thursday in restless leg. Oh, am I gonna read this?
Brett Vesely
Yeah, Sean Rockefeller. That's different one, but the blind.
John Holmberg
Oh, this is from Carl. Does she have a spastic colon too? Some dudes stick around. If she gives up the brown eye, even if the legs are flailing around like a. Like a marionette. I'm reading with one eye. It's not even easy. Oh, Rockefeller's right here. I got him. And he. The blind guy. John, you'd have restless legs too if you were forced to swim around all day and perform tricks at SeaWorld. Yeah, I think that's restless back, Fin. Not in the mood for you, Rachel. I'm going to make an example of you. There's a real easy way to ignore that. And much like your made up disease, you can just not email me and act like it doesn't exist. But you gotta play along, don't you? You had to get your two cents in because you're big and you're annoyed with your own life. And somewhere another. That's my fault in a weird way for thinking your restless leg syndrome is a made up. A disastrous made up thing.
Brett Vesely
A lot of people says that Rachel needs a call. Dr. Rico Blaze for this.
John Holmberg
Oh no, of course Brett's ready for that. Hey, Rachel. How you doing, baby? Yeah, them legs flailing around like a pinwheel in the wind. Don't worry about it. I'll find a wet spot in that big fat pile. That's my expertise. Nothing I like more than a lady trying to get away. But she runs out of gas real fast cause she's so fat. I can't see that. Brady. I got one eye. Give me that. I got myself a restless leg too. It's between my two good legs. And baby, it needs a nap in a fat den like a barren winter. It wants to hibernate up in your cave, girl. Good one, radio wrestlers. Third leg is funny. It's restless all the time. Wakes me up in the middle of the night.
Jim Brewer
Like, well, bitch, I'm trying to get
John Holmberg
some sleep and you keep popping up. That's all right. What was my name on Instagram again? I always forget Sir Nuts a lot. Sir Nuts a Lot. That's right. How are we not in the top 13 of the radio show? This is kind of garbage anyway. Don't worry about it, Rachel. If you can prop yourself up and tear yourself away from a refrigerator, get them restless legs running over to my house, I'll butter the door and you can slip right in. Get your fat, restless ass over here, girl, before your heart stop. Ain't gonna. Ain't gonna last long without any sleep. And all that extra weight you're carrying around. You got hypertension. I guarantee your blood pressure is 300 over 300. You know what I like? When Rachel gets on the scale, it doesn't give a number. It just says, call Rico,
Brady
that's a mic.
John Holmberg
Drop it might be a mic. Now put that jimmy hat on my restless leg and let's get to work. I don't want to get your fat ass pregnant. No one will know. Probably just fall out your big ass in the kitchen. You shoot across the room when you're running your marathon in your sleep. Restless leg syndrome. Shut up. Goddamn restless leg. I'm gonna call the police. So Rico's gonna be there, Baby,
Brady
get
John Holmberg
him out of here. That's right. Just call me, baby. Call me. My phone number is your blood pressure.308. 777.
Brett Vesely
Anyway, restless leg syndrome sounds like more like restless turkey leg syndrome.
John Holmberg
She's fat and we hate her. It's okay. Okay. Don't give me that crap, John.
Brett Vesely
Mocking fat, miserable women. Just when I thought you were flaming
John Holmberg
out, John comes back with one eye to his roots. I got one eye on you. This one says restless leg syndrome is real. The old treatment used to be quinine. Qu. That's tonic. Quinine. Queening quinine. What are they used to? It's the Q on the gun. I know that it's tonic. That's the stuff in tonic water. Actually, it says malaria and restless leg syndrome. What? It's. Well, then we've got a cure. Shut the up, Rachel. And evidently, Sugar Cake and Little Debbie's are not exactly the cure. Somebody say Little Debbie's? That's a cream pie. I love to go in there. Cream pie. Her. Probably have to move all the rappers out of the bed before. And I don't mean like Ray J. I'm talking about like actual Little Debbie rappers. Rachel, leave me alone. Just like all the Men in Phoenix are leaving you alone. Return the favor to me. I've lost relationships over my restless legs. You keep telling yourself that, sister.
Jim Brewer
Just kicking me.
John Holmberg
I don't want to be here anymore. I'm going to use restless legs as an excuse. Nobody ever used restless leg syndrome to leave a good woman. It's your personality. That's why people leave you. Nobody get. I would love to stay with you but the real restless nobody.
Brady
It's.
John Holmberg
Couldn't take anymore. Couldn't take anymore. She was a wonderful human being and very beautiful. But the restless legs I had to leave. It's not restless legs that made you're a. That's why you left. Morning sickness. 98K Holmberg's morning sickness.
Brady
It was like a woodpecker.
John Holmberg
I'm so sorry. I'm just constantly kicking you all night. No, it's okay, baby. Now. No, it's. You're a bitch. I guarantee you kicked him and he's like knock it off. I can't help it. I've got a disease. I'm getting out of here. You're a bitch. I don't want to hear from her. Rachel, email me back. Rachel's dad, you hate your daughter too probably you email her. I hate Rachel. That's my new. I'm going to make T shirts. I'm going to put a 25 on the shirt and over the top of it, KBD hating Rachel for 25 solid years. Why don't you go over to the Cardinals and like try not to be a punter or something bigot.
Brady
They can use all the help they can.
John Holmberg
I'm actually probably an offensive lineman. The way you sound, way you describe yourself. I put on £50. That's not restless legs fault jackass. I love that you emailed me. Thank you, Rachel. You had no idea. You thought I'd be like what did she think? That I was gonna go, geez, I
Jim Brewer
should probably back off?
John Holmberg
Shut up. I'll sleep with you and we'll have a kicking contest and I'm gonna win. Except for you got a lot more blubber. I'll pour water on you like we're taking you back home, put you on a flatbed, start flopping around and now I have all these bruises on my legs. Those are from the ten foot poles men are using to keep you away. They're not from restless leg. Jesus Christ.
Brady
We'll take you to the manatee rescue.
John Holmberg
I'll get you over there, just pour you in the water, you can go home. Finally I'm free. Yeah, you Just you were restless because your fins, the way they want to. You know who else has wrestling legs? Any fish that's not in water, they start flopping around, too. That's it. You're just a manatee. You need to. You need to dugong your way back to Florida. I hope you're crying. I hope. Jesus Christ. I hope. Praise God. We talked about. I hope. Dear praise Lord Jesus, Baby Jesus Lord sacrificed absolutely a full weekend for our sins. We really appreciate that. Also, could you make sure that Rachel's crying about this, please? Because she was trying to hurt my feelings and, like, make me feel bad about me, and it didn't work. So now I want her. Could you make her restless leg syndrome worse than, like, move it into her arms too, so she slaps herself to sleep at night. There's no such thing as restless arm syndrome.
Brady
Start drumming. Yeah, Bass drum on that thing.
John Holmberg
Oh, my God. You could be. You could be an amazing one woman show. No one's ever seen someone so fat do so much in their life. It's amazing. Stupid restless leg lady. Scott Haynes has a good question. How are your restless legs? And isn't it dangerous? Can't with your legs kicking around, you get choked out by your CPAP wires. That's probably true. She probably runs the risk of strangling herself with her CPAP machine. No. Says, hey, Rachel, since you're up all night long, that's good news. That leaves you eight hours to actually work out. That's a good thought, Scott. Anyway, what are you gonna do? Sorry, I got off on a tangent there. That'll happen. I can't deal with people who blame one thing for why everything's gone wrong in their life. You can get around that. It's again, it's these NBA refs that are. That are ponytails. I think the second we allowed ponytails to referee NBA games, everybody lost their minds. It's like nobody's accountable for anything. I've put these two things together. It's like this weird hyper collision vision of that shouldn't be happening. And it's changing everything right before our eyes, and we don't know it. I don't understand. I was watching the Suns game last night and they made a call. I'm like, that had to be a woman ref. And I text K Ray and I'm like, are there women refs? And he goes, no. I'm like, my God, the men are turning into. We're gonna review that play for a hostile act.
Brett Vesely
Bunch of man buns out there.
John Holmberg
I told Kevin Last night he goes, there's no women on the court. You want to check that one good eye. And I'm like, yeah, but they've messed it up to where now the rules are. There's too many rules, which is always a woman. And then I said, ask Eddie Johnson sitting right next to you, the smooth shooter, what he thinks of the hostile act. He goes, you want to hear him go for about an hour and a half. I know because he played in an era where every act was hostile. The defender didn't give him enough room. What? That's not defense. You tackled him flag. But I'm convinced of it. I'm convinced that once Ponytail started to referee some things, we lost something. And women could start saying things like my legs made it so I gained 50 pounds and no one loves me. Isn't that. It's your personality. It's always your personality. You ever seen a beautiful woman and that. And she's like, nobody's with her. It's not cuz she kicks at night.
Brady
What's. What's wrong with.
John Holmberg
There's something's wrong with her. Oh, she's horrible again. She didn't get a tight five. She doesn't have good. And eventually the dude that was with her was like, there's only so much beauty can push. And you're. That's enough.
Brett Vesely
The friction between Rachel size will probably start a fire and burn down the trailer park.
John Holmberg
Yeah, you better be careful. You know, the news was talking about like there's a big cricket problem in the city, but I'm not so sure. That might just be Rachel trying to sleep causing that massive cricket sound. And the whole city is under Rachel's spell. Rachel's trying to sleep.
Brady
Damn it.
John Holmberg
I don't know. The only time I like legs rubbing together like that is inside a KFC bucket. That's a one eyed Junos. Oh, Jesus. This hard to read. Tell that pig
Brady
wow.
John Holmberg
Oh, don't start that again. Showing up easier. Tell that pig to use restless leg syndrome to run. That way she doesn't sweat and smell like Crisco at night. And that's why guys would slid off the bed and ran out the door. Thank you. Says restless calf syndrome. But when I say calf, I mean like the baby cow. Said. I wonder what it's going to look like when she starts kicking those legs around with no feet thanks to her diabetes. Here's what we'll do, Rachel, to get you to lose some of that weight, you can start jeffing in bed and I'll pace you with My hellcat, I'm gonna try to get you to run down the road,
Jim Brewer
all right?
Brady
She's gonna be doing Dodge commercials.
John Holmberg
He's gotta be running around. Rachel, you want to get up while you're kicking around and fix that. That right there that very much loved. If you would get up and use them crazy ass legs and climb a ladder. Get up there and fix that ceiling bird that's driving me crazy. I'll get through it. You get up there and do it. I can't. My legs are. You Fat ass will crush a ladder. That's why. You know why. It ain't happening. Anyway. We're just. We're just 42 minutes away from me giving you the opportunity to win the thing we've got. I can't announce it till 8, but when I do get ready, it's going to be great.
Brett Vesely
Here's a. Here's a woman's point of view.
John Holmberg
Okay, coming through. It's about Restless. Is she going to defend it?
Jim Brewer
No.
John Holmberg
Because they love disease. No, she knows. Oh, she knows that this is from a woman? Yes. It says, I'm dying here. I'm a bigger girl. And Rachel's a. Oh, my God. Jennifer's representing all the ladies. Says I don't blame anyone or anything for who I am. I have an ass and men love it. I'm good with that. God damn this one. Pennies from heaven. God damn Rachel. I mean Jennifer, Not Rachel. Rachel. I'm done with Rachel. That fat kicked me out of her bed. I don't know if she did on purpose, but kept kicking men out. Literally. Jennifer, you're the big fat ass you're so proud of. Over to Rico's house tonight. We'll put it under arrest. Unlike Rachel's legs, who are never rested. Men love your fat ass. That's what I like to hear.
Jim Brewer
Well, add one to the list.
John Holmberg
Add another man to your fat ass love. Listen, I'm gonna give me a Valentine's card up in that. This one says this is from a someone named Jarrison. Never seen that name in my life. Jarrison. All right. I don't know. What if that's a man or a woman or a. I think it's a man. Yeah, I think so. Says he actually wrote that. Restless leg syndrome. This fat is getting cramps in her legs. And tell her to hydrate and drink some water instead of drinking all that ranch. That's right. Time we made that announcement to the biggins out there. What?
Brady
It's got electrolytes.
John Holmberg
Ranch dressing is not Water. Once again, we should do, like, a little fat person. Alert, alert, alert. Goes on your phone. Just a quick reminder that ranch is not a drink. Hydrate and your legs will calm down. That's good stuff. Anyway, I just don't want to. I just don't want to deal with those people anymore ever again in my life if I don't have to. I mean, I will deal with you, but I'll deal with you my way. And then in the news, they'll be like, radio host gets women to attempt suicide. And they'll come and interview me. And I'm like, he's happy. Like, yeah, I don't care. She hated me. She was, like, rooting for me to be fired and die. Can you believe he. He caused this? Everybody causes your problems. You don't have anything to do with your own life. You're the CE of nothing, not even your own body.
Jim Brewer
He made me sad.
John Holmberg
Nobody makes you sad. You do that to yourself. I can't sleep. Yep. I couldn't either, because when the mattress starts to swallow me like a taco shell,
Brady
you can't get up.
John Holmberg
I can't get up. Yeah, you're. You're not. You might be sleeping, but.
Brady
Turns into a hammock.
John Holmberg
You're restless because you're trying to roll out of that giant hole you've dug in the middle of your mattress.
Brett Vesely
Did somebody say tacos?
Jim Brewer
No.
John Holmberg
She tried to. She actually tried to eat herself one night when she was. I'm a taco. Yeah, I'm sorry. Nothing I can do about it. But I got that. I'm tired of people like this. Yeah, says Jesus. Rachel, you're just out of luck. Even Larry hates fat chicks.
Brady
Bring that back.
John Holmberg
Not unless they got a great personality. Anybody with a great personality overcomes a lot. You're fat and. And awful. You're like the perfect storm of awful and loneliness. Oh, I gotta do it again. Sorry. Dearest Brady's Jesus, baby. God Jesus, Lord, could you make it so Rachel is always tanned on her left middle finger like it's never ever a tan line. And also loneliness is what ends up like her cats eat her because she can't get out of bed. They're finally tired of getting kicked around the room. Please, Lord, please, Lord. Brady's baby.
Jim Brewer
Lord Jesus.
John Holmberg
Baby, baby, baby, hit me one more time. Thank you, Lord Jesus.
Brady
Good prayer.
John Holmberg
That was a good one. Dexter says, dear John, thank you for this morning's ride. I am the driver of Rachel's Carpool and we are currently stuck in the Starbucks line.
Jim Brewer
I hope that's true. Oh, Rachel's in the car. Let me turn everybody.
John Holmberg
You, Rachel and your pudgy little fat fingers that typed me that letter.
Brett Vesely
Oh, man. Kyle found a picture of Rachel.
John Holmberg
Oh, no. I got a photo of it.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, right here.
John Holmberg
Oh, my God. There she is, just slobbing down the ranch. Oh, the poor lady can't sleep. She's got a whole bucket of ranch poured into her big fat mouth wearing Mormon underwear for some reason. Oh, look at those. Jesus, there's no way those things are restless.
Brett Vesely
Those things haven't moved in years.
John Holmberg
Oh, they're not restless. They're just quaking from the day's activities. They're trying to calm down. It's like the sea. It's never going to stop being waves. Anyway. Anyway, it says, I'm impressed that she's not alone. Most of the dudes probably got stuck in her gravitational pull longer than they wanted to be there. Anyway. That's true. It's like a planet. Anyway, you know what I heard? And she probably got this from a bad doctor or he told her that ham was the cure and it turned out he was just a liar. You can't believe everything you read on the Internet there, Rachel. While you're up at night masturbating with your short fingernails and your big fat fingers because nobody else wants to touch carrot fingers. Your big carrot fingers.
Jim Brewer
Never heard of a carrot?
John Holmberg
No, she carrot.
Jim Brewer
What's her carrot?
John Holmberg
Get Twix.
Brady
Cheetos. Sorry? Cheetos.
John Holmberg
They're what rabbits eat. You're not going to be interested. Don't worry about it. She also, she just emailed back, said, hey, sorry about all that. Hey, Brady, how was that goat? After all, it's a lean protein. You're gonna hate it. So you've been going on and on about this prize at 8 o'. Clock. Is the prize today Rachel's email to you because it's the best part of the day. Well, we'll see later if that's true. Matt. Leave me alone. Rachel, go. Go about your fat business. Leave me alone. Boy 1 I really got you, man. Look, you don't want to f with a dude who had to stare at a couch cushion for seven solid days 24 hours a day. It monkeys with your brain. Absolutely screws you up. You just realize how fragile everything can be. And like, there's nothing worse than being told you can't move. Rachel, you should know about this. But your restless legs keep you from that. What would happen if Rachel. Rachel had her eyes pop out? And I guarantee You. They pop out every time it says ranch. Two for one. He probably has to go see Dr. Schwartz every couple days. Only at a salad fries on Little Debbie's. My eyes popped out. I have Westler's trunk syndrome now. Anyway, sorry about your disease. Nothing a little exercise won't cure. But I know you gotta look that up on Wikipedia and it's gonna take forever. Your fat fingers to get around the E and the F and the R.
Jim Brewer
I'm gonna keep hitting all the wrong
John Holmberg
letters with my big fat fingers. Branch House Grill has the Rachel specials because their sausages are the same size as her fingers. Delicious. Gigantic, too. Like, just really thick and heavy. Anyway, that's enough bashing on Rachel. God's daughter done enough of that. Is that her driver's license is an aerial photo. That's probably true. She was at Oppenheimer and she looked over and she goes, why do they call that one Fat man? It's not that big. Well, in comparison. Leave me alone. All right. 34 minutes till I get to tell you what's going on. Brett, what do you got for music over there in the big.
Brett Vesely
Oh, they started getting. Coming in.
John Holmberg
I'll bring him. Let's just destroy Rachel's life. Please. I want her to move. Oh, oh, oh, dear, dear Lord baby Jesus, Lord. Could you get Doug Hopkins to actually call Rachel and try to buy her house and get her out of town? That would be awesome. Thank you, Jesus.
Brett Vesely
He'll give her 5,000.
John Holmberg
Yeah, $5,000. Just leave. Doug will give her a gift card to a. Oh, oh, oh. This guy says he works for a manatee rescue. They're on their way. You're. You're lucky, Rachel. We got you covered. Don't worry about it.
Brady
Free ride.
John Holmberg
Get a free ride. Ride wherever else I'm not. Hundreds and hundreds of miles, so you don't have to be, quote, subjected to me anymore, you fat. Sorry.
Brett Vesely
We have that.
John Holmberg
I hate her.
Brett Vesely
We have the new morning Wake up song, and.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, you don't know it, so you got a point.
Brett Vesely
I don't. Yeah.
John Holmberg
My one eye again. That's right. Well, I'll tell you who it's copy of it. The Wake up song is brought to you by Modern Resolution Windows and Doors. You mentioned me. John Holmer can get extra $500 off your total contract price. And Rachel, they have those big French doors that open double so you can get in and out of your house easier. They'll do anything for you. Probably have those collapsible. Collapsible ones a whole Wall opens up so Rachel can easily move in and out to get in the bariatric hospital ambulance that's coming your way, sister. Well, then you should walk to the hospital and get that fixed. Ozempic. What's wrong with you gaining weight? Nobody gains weight anymore anyway. Modern resolution. Windows and doors helping you out. Wake up Song style. Tell me what you got, Brett.
Brett Vesely
All right. Three Days Grace. On the list, the Clash Rock the Casbah for Brady's Restaurant Experience. Mastodon Curl, the Burl Pantera, System of a Down, Lonely Day for Rachel. Slipknot Eyeless for you, Bollywood Avenge, Sevenfold, Hail to the King for the State of the Union, Michael McDonald. What a fool Believes For Brady's Restaurant Visit. Stone Sour Absolute Zero for Rachel, Rachel. Parkway Drive Mod Spandex, Enormity, Dance of the Manatee on the list. And March of the Pigs from Nine Inch Nails.
John Holmberg
Dance of the Manatee is something I haven't heard in a long time. Wasn't a huge fan when it came out, but it grew on me later. I think we have to do Dance of the Manatee for Rachel.
Brett Vesely
I don't know if that's in the system. We'll see if I can find it.
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's a good one.
Brady
Just makes me think about saving the matinees.
John Holmberg
That's right. You know, Rachel has the restless leg syndrome. And Scott Haynes says, I wonder if she's got that restless tail too. She does her dung fling in the afternoon. That could be. I don't know. I just read this. A guy from Africa emailed and said, do you know that Rachels are more responsible for human deaths than any other animal on the planet? I didn't know that. I think you're confusing her with hippos, but it's an easy confusing thing. This one says John, the contest that's coming up. My stepson's 17. Can he participate in this contest? Uh, probably not.
Brett Vesely
Yeah, I wouldn't think so.
John Holmberg
But if the phone is on, and it should be, the phone is under your name, you just lie when we say, hey, this kid won. And then you come in and say, that's mine. So just get your whole family involved. I'm telling you, this contest is worth it. Get the Rachel's of your office that don't listen and hate me and family members and just get them to download the app, because why wouldn't you? And then have. And then get a text thread. I'm telling you the secret to this text thread. To all those people and every word, every hour, I give you a Word. And it's gonna happen all day. You get that word and boom, boom, boom. You tell everybody the word, they put it in. And then if one in your thread hits and you win the prize, you can make a deal with the winner. If they want to keep it, you're kind of running that risk. But odds are they're not listening and they're not caring. But if they're like, hey, I won. You know, Kenny, in your case, you can come and say, oh, that's me. I'm claiming that prize.
Brett Vesely
Tell Rachel you buy her a box of Ho Hos if she enters for you.
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Oh, you can get Rachel. She'll probably get, like, 40 burner phones if you promise her some food. They probably tried to strap her down, but it was like when King Kong got. You know, he just broke free. I just got an email that said Rachel's climbing the Chase tower downtown. She's very. Language. Those restless legs are getting put to work batted. She's batted down two news helicopters already.
Brett Vesely
I get a video game rampage building down.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Oh, evidently, Rachel has just stolen Princess Peach, and we need. We need a plumber to go find her real quick. Oh, no. This is terrible. All right, you got dance to the man. There you go. Knock it. All right, here you go, everybody. It's your wake up song. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? Morning sickness. You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? I to tell you, we're just. We're 10 minutes away from me doing this announcement thing, which I think is. Whoa, Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Brett Vesely
Hour 10, huh?
Brady
Oh, no.
Brett Vesely
10. No.
John Holmberg
8 o'. Clock. Yeah, yeah. What the hell? I'm behind now.
Brett Vesely
10, too.
John Holmberg
Sorry. What are you, Pacific time?
Brady
You promised me 7:47.
John Holmberg
No, I told you. And it's 7:48. And I'm telling you right now, I'm gonna start handing it out a little bit.
Brett Vesely
Larry's losing it.
John Holmberg
Larry's. I'm losing it. I can't have all. I've been holding this for over a month. I was in the room when this went down, and we looked at each other like, yeah, I can't believe. God damn it. We got my eyes driving me nuts. This bubble has shrunk down, and that's all I heard.
Brady
See?
John Holmberg
Anyway, so I was in the room, and the guy on the phone was talking to Larry's like, you're not going to believe what they're offering us. And I'm like, oh. And sure enough, he started to rattle off thing. And I'm like, that's the best prize we've given away. And he goes, that's not it. Like, oh, oh, oh. And then I'm like to. Can I be part of this? They're like, no, you can't. Can't. Like if you want to. They said, like, if you want to try to get in on it, you're on your own. But we're not. It's not for. They're not giving it away to radio people, media people. It is strictly going to be for whomever wins it from us. That's it. Oh, it's. And I just want to see it. It's. It's. Everybody's got this on their list of things. Things right now. And this is the ultimate way to play along. We got nine more minutes before I can start barking about. Let's talk amongst yourselves.
Brady
I. I got a guess, but I don't want to say it.
John Holmberg
You'll write it down.
Brady
Okay.
Brett Vesely
There's a couple guesses that came through. A couple of the same ones.
John Holmberg
Well, I have noticed on the Internet there's been a couple little pops and leaks about what the announcement is that we can't supersede. I guess that's how you'd say it then. I can't jump ahead of what's being announced there. So everybody's finding it now.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
Brady
What hours.
John Holmberg
Just throw that out.
Brett Vesely
We just had a couple emails saying the same thing.
John Holmberg
So.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
So it's. It's. It's sneaking. Pretty cool. It's sneaky. Oh, and wait. Wait until you hear.
Brett Vesely
Oh, wait, there's more details.
John Holmberg
Oh, this is like a new car. No, it's not. It's. Yeah, but wait, there's more.
Brady
It slices, dices, cut, grates, chops.
John Holmberg
But wait, there's more. Yes. Brett and Brady have written it down. And did you get from the emails and some. Where'd you get your guess? You just.
Brady
I just was.
John Holmberg
No kidding.
Brett Vesely
I got multiples emails on that.
John Holmberg
Yeah. So it's a thing now. That's like becoming a deal. Oh, it's pretty awesome. Then we'll have an 8 o' clock code word. So get on the app. Get ready.
Brett Vesely
On the web.
John Holmberg
It's going to be on the app.
Brett Vesely
Right?
John Holmberg
And the web.
Brett Vesely
Okay. And the web.
John Holmberg
Web.
Brett Vesely
Okay. Because there's people asking, where am I going to enter this word for whatever?
John Holmberg
98kupd.com I've been giving you the idea of getting a text thread together with A bunch of people whether they listen or not. If you got that listens to country music in your group, just tell him he's going to struggle with it because he's not smart. But he got one of them country throw over and say hey Clint, I need you to download the KUPD app. I don't listen to that rock music. You know, I'm like, yeah, I didn't. I don't care. Care what you listen to. Clint. I need you to download this. And every time I send you a word and say put it in the. You have to find maybe country music people aren't the best example because they're gonna. You're gonna just be working real hard for that. So get some people with average to above average intelligence. Don't. Don't monkey around with the country people.
Brett Vesely
Since we're not allowed to win. Can Dale win? He's a country guy. He's, you know, I, I think so.
John Holmberg
He's affiliated somehow. So I'm not sure if he's actually allowed.
Brett Vesely
We can hit him up.
John Holmberg
But get everyone that you're that loves this station hates. Doesn't matter. Rachel can do it. Rachel the hut can even be part of putting the word in for somebody. I'm not doing it because. All right, fat ass. Never mind. Not you. I dropped my phone in the fryer again.
Brett Vesely
Andrew wants to know, is it two season tickets to ride the dolly steamboat?
John Holmberg
Yes. Yes. And Brett will be. Brett is actually driving the boat. We put a hellcat engine in the steamboat. Yeah.
Brett Vesely
You're gonna see Titanic part 2.
Jim Brewer
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Oh man.
Brady
I will sink tour in 15 minutes.
John Holmberg
He does the two hour tour faster than anyone in the history of the dies. Yeah. Just a few minutes away, but yeah. So get your friends in on it. Get the words I'm going to give you at 8 o' clock's coming up. Now here's the thing. It's going to be 8:10 when this opens. 8:10. So I'll give you the word appropriately. We're going to get into the Brady report and do this. But just be. Be ready and get your friends on this. This is a good thing. And again, thank you to all the people who have already prepared hated at my. At my request to email in and go that's it. What a stupid thing. You don't know what it is but you're. Look, there's going to be people who think it's dumb. You're wrong. It's so cool. It's so cool. You're going to be a hero when you and it's just such a neat thing. Ah, can't wait. All right, so we'll get that together for you, but get all your friends in on it and get this thing together. And again, help us with our. I mean, the Radio Bobs won't know what hit them. They had nothing to do with this at all. But they're going to take loads of credit for it. And it's part of our 25th anniversary to get prizes like this. That's the thing I want to say more than anything is the people who gave us this are doing it. It's like, hey, John's been doing this 25 years and we want to be. And give you an exclusive thing for that. It's. This is a remarkable thing that we're getting just because we haven't been fired for 25 years, essentially what happened, which is pretty awesome. So part of our 25th year, we're going to be churning out cool stuff like this, and it's going to be great. So I want to scream thank you to those people, but I can't do it because not yet. It'll give up who and what and unexpected completely. Jim Brewer's gonna love this when he comes in here. Yeah, he's gonna love this. So it's pretty great. So hop on that thing, get the downloads. Our Bob's our idiot Radio Bob that, you know, I heart us. All the dummies that run radio and have been doing so into the earth for the last quarter century, allowing shows like this to continue without firing them. They won't understand why, but our numbers will increase like crazy if you do my way, just get people who don't listen to download the app and then they'll have all sorts of crazy, like, theories as to why it worked and what they don't know what they're talking about. And it's going to be fun radio. Later when I'm like, oh, I heard in a meeting that one of the Bobs said that this is why this happened, but they don't know. And they spent like $20,000 on research to say, well, this is what happened when that. No, it's a bunch of people who don't listen to the station downloaded it because we got you guys to do that. Help us out. Make the Bob's dance. It's hilarious when they do. They always say something stupid after. And then in the end, we all are winners and it gets. Gets us out from under them saying, we need more ideas. We don't tell them this stuff. It just happens and Then they're like, well, when we had our meeting, you were supposed to give us ideas. And why didn't you give this to us? Because you'd have given it to like eight markets and ruined it. Because radio was the last bastion of plagiarism. That still is like high fived. In St. Louis they do a bit called blah blah, blah. You should do that in Phoenix. And then one of the cruddy Phoenix stations does it.
Jim Brewer
Like you guys are doing that.
John Holmberg
That's stealing. Not in radio.
Brady
We don't have an arch.
John Holmberg
It's sharing. Anyway, I'm holding, I'm holding the paper. It's got all the info on it right in front of me.
Brett Vesely
So keep stretching for four minutes.
John Holmberg
Four minutes. No, we'll get to it. Brady is here to do all the news. We're just gonna interrupt Brady like an Amber alert.
Brady
Make sure it's a good little sounder that interrupts it.
John Holmberg
If you can't, I think we need like a horn chirp. Yeah, no, no, that's not, that's not loud enough. I don't know if I have have a good enough. Like I have like foghorns and stuff. I'll do that. I'll just start foghorning you out of your job. We'll get some of that together. Is that it? Let see if I can find that. So let's go through my list of. No, no, no. There it is. Okay, this is what we're going to do. Then I'll know. That's when I break in. Okay. That's when I break in right there. Or maybe just have some sort of. It's a little. That's a little down. Everybody move.
Brady
Hit them all.
John Holmberg
Tuscan Raider. No, I don't know.
Jim Brewer
That's it.
Brett Vesely
No, that's Rachel.
John Holmberg
No, that's Rachel. Yeah, Rachel's at the drive thru and they're taking forever. Hurry up, Dutch brother, she's starving. Don't forget to put the brain on top of the cup. I like to eat the be. Anyway, it's time for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. And we call it the Brady Report. It's brought to you by our friends at All Pro Shade Concepts, Arizona's best patio shades. I say it all the time. 20 years of shade means two decades of quality and custom installed patio shades, awnings and sunscreens. They've been doing it for over 20 years. And I, for personal reasons, like to think if you've been doing something for longer than 20 years, you must be pretty good at it. So darn it all, they must be good at it. All Pro Shade Concepts will take care of you. They got free installation on everything they do and estimates that come your way and make you realize they're working with the best. Allproshade.com they'll put you in the shade where you belong. Brady reported.
Brady
Good Wednesday morning to you. Phoenix. Hello world. Happy National Clam Chow Day.
John Holmberg
That's too hot. Maybe back east. That's a good idea. That sounds awful. Show me a bunch of dairy based soups with clams in it. That's 90 degrees.
Brett Vesely
No Boston people too though.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brady
It's also chocolate covered nuts. Hot day.
John Holmberg
That's pretty good. Rachel Blaze Rush those. Rachel's probably already broken a record.
Brady
A couple of basis fun facts. About 700 grapes go into a bottle of wine. It's around 3 pounds.
John Holmberg
700 per bottle.
Brady
Yep.
John Holmberg
Wow.
Brady
An estimated 80% of American men are circumcised. But the rates vary widely from country to country. 99.9% in Morocco are cut. Yep. Similarity. Similarity.
John Holmberg
Similarly do it. The Nope. Do it.
Brady
And similar.
John Holmberg
Huh?
Brady
And similarly.
John Holmberg
No.
Brady
They're high rates of Muslim countries.
John Holmberg
He's not going to do it. Hurdles too hard on.
Brady
And similarly.
John Holmberg
It's a thing you're getting. It is now. Now. I don't know what's right now. It all sounds crazy but most Muslim
Brady
majority countries are 90, 92%.
John Holmberg
Cut.
Brady
Cut. The flip side. Europe are the most not circumcised. It's almost less than 20%.
John Holmberg
You know it's weird. I was this. I was thinking about this when the Muslims and the Jews and all that while I was down face down in that couch for a week. Your God and their God both hate pigs like a lot. Why did he invent pigs like the Muslims hate pigs. They're gross dirty. Yeah. They invented a Rachel's and then your God hates pigs. It's really weird that pigs got such a raw deal in the whole biblical thing.
Brady
But I don't know. Here's a question and I don't know the answer.
John Holmberg
Both of them.
Brady
I don't know how accessible pigs were.
John Holmberg
They were in the Bible a lot like don't touch those. And then was on it too.
Brady
Spain. I remember. You know there's a story where the pigs go over the cliff. He sure cast a demon into the pigs.
John Holmberg
I know they hate pigs both sides and we could unite over this.
Jim Brewer
Oh no.
John Holmberg
We go. I had to wait for the eight seconds after. See what I'm doing to make sure that they all Got the delay and people aren't looking at their clocks going shut up. Here it is now, the announcement that's being made nationwide right now, and some of you have guessed it, is that the greatest rock band that that's alive still performing and killing it, is Metallic Metallica. Now you're like, oh, I've seen Metallica before. They are performing at Sphere Las Vegas for select date September 24th to October 24th. The show is called Metallica Life Burns Faster. So they have tickets going on sale here Pre Sales on March 3rd. You can go to 98kupd.com check that out.
Brett Vesely
Good luck with that.
John Holmberg
Good luck with that because already there were rumors that this thing was going to be three grand a ticket, not necessarily face value. Yeah, it's going to sell out. Yeah, like it's going to sell out. So here's what we got. And this was just for us, which is so cool. And thanks to Q Prime, Aaron, my God, sitting there. Metallica disappear to the Sphere contest. Metallica is playing Sphere in Vegas and we're going to send you not to the first show, but to the first two shows, man. You get two of these. This is thousands of dollars in tickets to the Sphere in Vegas. We're going to put you up in a hotel and you get $200 in fuel so I can get there. Too many of you have felonies and too much stuff. We can't get you on airplane. So we, we wanted, we wanted to get you up there.
Brady
Too many F4s.
John Holmberg
Way too many F4s. We got too many barriers and legal things to jump over. Each hour I'm going to give you a different code word to enter for your chance to experience metallica at Sphere September 24th and September 26th in your hotel with your fuel. And also you can do this. Like let's say I win it, right? And I take Brett. Brett wants to go on the 24th. That's a Thursday deal. Like, you know what, I'm going to hook Brady up for the next day. You get a dude's trip up there.
Brett Vesely
Oh yeah.
John Holmberg
A bunch of you heading up and doing your thing. I'm to going, going. But I'm not going to the concert because I can't get any tickets. I could buy them, but that's maybe we'll see. But if you have not been in Sphere yet in Vegas. Oh yeah, I've only seen the environmental movie. I didn't see a concert there. Our old tax guy Steve saw the Grateful Dead there and I'm like, ah, he Likes them. So it worked for him. I know people who saw the Eagles. Metallica is a different animal. I actually met somebody who saw John Summit there, the dj.
Brett Vesely
Oh really?
John Holmberg
He did seven shows shows in seven days and sold them out in under a minute. All seven. And the thing holds like 15000 people. It's huge. You haven't experienced the sound of a room that is like that. The room has the most amazing sound I've ever heard and let alone like what you're seeing. So this is awesome and I love that we're doing it. So I'm going to give you the word word in about six minutes so you can get it together. Actually I can tell you now, but you can't really get it going until our website kicks off. It's on our website probably right now, but then the code word starts at 8, 10. And I'll just tell you right now, early on it's Master. So you can get, you can get on your text thread with all those people you've asked to download the app or get on the website and put Master in for the 8am word. This is pretty great. And Metallica has kept this dead quiet. I remember the last interview a month ago. They're like the coffee of that. But we couldn't do it. We could not put that together for the cost and what we'd need. And it's going to be them raw on the stage with all the shenanigans that goes on behind them at Sphere. And I'm telling you, having just spent the 80 bucks to go watch the movie in that thing, I'm not joking. I probably, for the right show would go up as high as 2,500 bucks to see a show. I want to see. There is, is. It's. You just don't get it until you're in there. It's such a cool venue and so like mind blowingly different than anything you've ever seen. So head on up there and do this. But you gotta, you gotta get it. September 24 and the 26, you get tickets to two shows. We'll put you in the hotel and give you 200 bucks in fuel. That should get you back and forth.
Jim Brewer
It wouldn't have under Biden.
John Holmberg
And to Biden we'd had to give you $30,000 in gas because gas prices were so high.
Brett Vesely
Now she got a hellcat at mine.
John Holmberg
Well, right, Well, a hellcat will get you. They're like seven or eight stops. But Brett, under Biden gas was $63 a gallon. People forget and now it's 11 cents for a full tank. I'm the greatest gas president that's ever lived. But 200 bucks in gas, pretty good. You know, we're covering that nut for you. Get a couple buddies to kick in, it's going to cost you nothing.
Brett Vesely
And again, everybody, it's on the app and on the website. Don't email it into the info box that you've been doing. I'm getting them buried with it app and the website.
John Holmberg
And the word for 8 o' clock is master. Master. We kick it off with that one. Maybe the very first person that enters will be the very last person standing. Like the olympic hockey game. USA's first shot went in. USA's last shot went in. Those the only two shots that went in. That's got to be a record. That's got to be some sort of weird stat. First and last shot taken were goals and that's all you needed. It's an amazing thing, master. Let's hope that the very first person that gets in wins this thing. I am thrilled about this. I think this is the neatest thing in the world to have done because it's so exclusive. It's going to be so hard to get these, these tickets now. I say that and come August to be like, nobody's buying them and just giving away like crazy. But I doubt that's going to happen. This thing's going to sell out. It's going to sell out now. Like when they, they've opened it up March 3rd for pre sale. It'll be sold out March 3rd before
Brett Vesely
the end of the. I just got official word. Code word is live right now.
John Holmberg
It's live. Master texted him. Put it in there. Get it together on your app. Tell your friends to download the app, get them involved, tell your family, wake the neighbors, phone the kids. Anybody in your office. An old man in the corner is like, hey, Alabaster, will you download this app and every once in a while put the word in our shirt. Okay, What'd I win?
Jim Brewer
What I win?
John Holmberg
$50. Wow. 50American republics. I don't know what you call money for him, but greenbacks. Yeah, you get some greenbacks at the end of this. Holmberg's morning sickness. Medicate. Kupd. Holmberg's morning sickness. So good luck to all of you. I love this prize. I think this thing's going to be awesome. Sending you the sphere twice. It sucks we can't get in on see Metallica. I know. That's the first thing we asked, like, do you get any Media passes or radio tickets. And he's like, no. So I don't think we didn't sit there for 40 minutes after that call and try to figure out a way we could weasel in on this. We tried.
Brett Vesely
It's our 25th anniversary for.
John Holmberg
I agree. We tried. Nothing. So I even said, I'm like, how about this? I'll fly. How about this? I'll even throw this in there. I'll fly up there and take the winners to dinner on the off night. Nice, huh? Yeah. Yeah. You guys in? Will you do that?
Brett Vesely
I'll go.
John Holmberg
That'll work. We'll pop up there, have dinner with the winners on a Friday. If that's interesting to you, we'll let it. We'll let the winners decide. You want to have dinner with the boys on the night between two shows? Not really. Okay, thanks. Then it saves us some cash. But you know, and I would go up there and just interview them going in and interview him coming out. Cuz I don't get to see it unless I sell some Pl. Yeah. Get my bone marrow to somebody. Great deal, though. I don't know what the tickets cost yet. I don't know what that is. But this is a super awesome prize. So very exciting. Two nights, you get to go to two of them. And there's only going to be like six shows through the month. But I would imagine that because it's set up, it'll be. They'll come back the way the Eagles did, you know, they'll come back in a few months and do it again. It'll be like a little residency that shows up for a month at a time.
Brady
The Sphere would want. It's like a rotation every year. Metallica would want four or five of these bands like Metallica that.
John Holmberg
Well, I already know John Legend or John Legend. John Summit was a million dollar price tag for him and his turn table to show up. And he did seven nights in a row. And they were like, we're going to make that money back. And they did. I know. We. The. The girl that was our cabana hostess last time I was there for my birthday, she's also a waitress at Sphere for the concerts. And she's like, I hate the Grateful Dead crowd. Although they drink like crazy. The Eagles crowd never stands up. And she kept saying, oh, they can't. We need a party. We need people who stand up and. And go. She goes. Because all we get right now is a bunch of old people sitting down. And so I'm like, Metallica would. And that was what she Said a show like that Tool was one I thought would do it too. And that was.
Brady
They're working it out.
John Holmberg
So this is a good one. So we'll get you up there. Master is the word. I've gone on long enough. Brady. Get back to your work.
Brady
The A writer from the Guardian is going viral with a story on how underwear doesn't last as long as you think.
John Holmberg
What?
Brady
Some experts claim you should replace old underwear every six months.
John Holmberg
Six months?
Brady
Yep.
John Holmberg
Who keeps their underwear around that long?
Brady
After 50 washes, doctors generally recommend replacing underwear every six to nine months because washing them doesn't remove everything.
John Holmberg
Everybody's so goddamn dirty. How about wash your ass in the shower and keep your underwear fresh?
Brady
But that. Not only that, it. Viruses and funguses.
John Holmberg
I know. Rust butts.
Brett Vesely
We had one tiny change with it. Larry just messaged us. The dates for Metallica at Sphere will now be October 1st through the 31st.
John Holmberg
I was just looking.
Brett Vesely
Their winners will. The winners will attend the first and the third show. So October 1st and October 3rd.
John Holmberg
Well, of course that's.
Brady
There we go.
John Holmberg
Not right on my page.
Brett Vesely
Well, he just text me, I guess.
John Holmberg
I just. Yeah, so it's. If the first is the first show, the third would be the second. Second show probably.
Brett Vesely
I would imagine they're taking a day off.
John Holmberg
Yeah, I would think so. But you get to see that. So you don't get to see them on the 24th and 26th. You scratch that right out. Yeah, they won't be there. Do you ever have anything? It just is what it is. Always a correction.
Brady
A cop in Ohio. Oh. Pulled somebody over and the driver ran off on foot. The officer lost the guy for a while while but hung around in the area. As luck would have it, the cop was behind a garbage truck when a sanitation worker wheeled a trash can over to the truck. The worker opened up the lid and freaked out because there's a person inside. Guy popped up, officer saw him, the chase was on, didn't last too long. Officer ran him down. Got him. They're calling the criminal Oscar the Grouch.
John Holmberg
Course they are.
Brady
27 year old Jonathan McMillan.
John Holmberg
Dumb.
Brady
A study looked into the most deceitful states where residents lie, cheat, scam and steal the most. Number one, Nevada.
John Holmberg
All right.
Brady
Number two, Rhode Island. Number three, Florida. Number four, Delaware. Five, South Carolina and Alabama. California. At number eight, Arizona.
John Holmberg
There you go. We're on the list.
Jim Brewer
There you go.
John Holmberg
Nice job, gang. Way to gonna put yourself on the map.
Brady
Nevada, with 1 in 5 residents admitting they lie often. And almost 60,000 reports of fraud per year.
John Holmberg
Yeah. People lie every day. Day. What was that thing? It was like on average it was like 17 times at work and 30 times a day. You tell some sort of a. A not truth.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
Kyle says John, how about this? If I win, you buy dinner on the off night. You get the ticket to the second night. Okay. Is it bribery? I think maybe I'm part of a bride there. That I would be the one saying I'll buy you dinner. But I'm not saying. Saying that you take. You take anybody, Kyle. Whomever you choose. Especially if it's me. Here's video of Brady's Oscar the grass. Oh, you got him. It doesn't have any sound. Okay. So it's just from the police dash cam. Just following the trash truck around. The guy's throwing the garbage in. Old school opens.
Jim Brewer
What?
John Holmberg
There's a feller inside there. Look at him.
Jim Brewer
Here he is.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Is it Saul?
Jim Brewer
Is it?
John Holmberg
Better call Saul. There goes Oscar. Why in the. Hold on. This seems set up to me.
Brett Vesely
This is set up. Why was there a cop sitting there watching second?
John Holmberg
Because he was. Hold on.
Brady
The area following the trash.
John Holmberg
Time out. Why the. Why are the trash guys taking these pickup bins by hand?
Brady
That's how they do it.
Jim Brewer
No, they don't.
Brett Vesely
Those big ones.
John Holmberg
Those big ones are not getting picked up.
Brady
It's got the. It's got the kick up tailgate is
John Holmberg
what those back ones do. So they have to. That's the dumbest thing I've ever seen if that's true. Because that one that we're looking at that's not being picked up has marks from the arms. I don't buy this.
Brett Vesely
You're questioning Oscar the Grouch?
John Holmberg
I'm questioning this whole entire thing
Jim Brewer
that
John Holmberg
nobody in their busted. Nobody in their right mind would put those 50 gallon drums outside and have one trash man go to pick it up and put it like it would. It's. You'd never get the trash picked up. That would take forever.
Brady
They used to have to go up.
John Holmberg
They used to go. Because they driveway. I know. It used to be different. And then guess what? They're like, this is taking forever. Ever. We got to change it. And they invented the arm. And they put those barrels out so we all could have more trash rather than 15 cans. And the dude you had to throw it in. And it also used to be three dudes hanging onto a truck. One driving and two dudes running from side to side. They don't do that anymore.
Brady
They still do that in U.A.
John Holmberg
no, they don't. It doesn't make it.
Brady
And they're in. They're in a tie and jacket.
John Holmberg
It's an announcement that they're stupid and they won't progress. Dexter says, john, why don't you stop like you used to and just say it's Ohio. Your mother is. That we could go viral.
Brady
That's how they roll in Cleveland.
John Holmberg
They're retarded in Cleveland too. Another guy said, eric says, if I win, you're invited. I can't rig the contest. So if you're.
Jim Brewer
If.
John Holmberg
If you win, it will be completely legitimate. If you want to still take me, I'm in. If I was going to rig it, I wouldn't choose a dude named Eric. I'd have, like, someone named Rachel. Yeah, Rachel. Because two good things about, about that we already know. Rachel can't fly the plane, can't handle it.
Brett Vesely
C130.
Jim Brewer
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And then we just, we. We put her in the back of a moving van and we get up there and have a blast. I heard that Rachel carpool. The carpool guy that emailed said, I'm with Rachel right now. It's the same guys that did the. That stopped the Amber alert the other day. Rachel's in the back of the moving truck. Camelback moves. Yeah, Those guys just pulled up and said, hey, we're carpooling. We're getting Rachel to work today. She does her tricks at 12, 1230, 1250 and 1 10.
Brady
Next Tuesday, McDonald's rolls out their biggest burger ever. Here we go. The big arch burger. I was gonna say delight.
John Holmberg
He had a hiccup in the middle. I think Brady ejaculated. That tickled my tummy. I've talked to my naughty bits, made spills.
Brady
It's only 10:57.
John Holmberg
My pee pees got the flu. It just threw up.
Brady
This is kind of cool. Liquid death and Spotify are selling a new Bluetooth urn with a speaker in it so your ashes can listen to your favorite tunes. Went on sale yesterday@liquiddeath.com Spotify. Each Eternal Playlist earned costs $495 dollars. So you can put whoever's ashes in there.
John Holmberg
Cool.
Brady
And the speakers on the lid. You close the lid. It just plays it for the.
John Holmberg
Ah, right inside there. Yeah, for the dead guy. What a waste of time.
Brett Vesely
You imagine if one of your friends was just a dick and played show me your fish over and over eternity.
John Holmberg
Oh, all right. Well, shut the lid. Every time you walk by the grave, you can hear that kind of muted sound. I would jump right in the grave. All right, I'm out. I'd get out of the box and kill myself.
Brady
I got two quick Brady videos.
John Holmberg
Oh, God. Oh, no.
Brady
Wow.
Brett Vesely
I'm already excited.
Brady
Medical maladies.
John Holmberg
Oh, it's purple.
Brady
We got purple tongue.
John Holmberg
I enjoy when Brady's. When Brady's God hates humanity videos comes up, makes him have to face realism realization that God doesn't care about touchdowns or people.
Brady
Giant purple tongue man.
John Holmberg
Oh, my Lord. The man has a Carl budding package for a tongue.
Jim Brewer
Extremely, extremely large. Arteriovenous malformation.
John Holmberg
Yeah, the Brady Szechuan noodles. You eat goat with that guy?
Brady
It's also sticking out more than a foot.
John Holmberg
Oh, he can put his equal.
Jim Brewer
Bartico. Oh my God.
John Holmberg
It's like a human hand lives inside his mouth. It sticks out. It looks like it's about really large. Four pounds. Like a jellyfish. It reduces in size. Oh, my God. You squeeze it and the tongue. The tongue fatness goes back into his throat. Well, you know what I love about this? You know what I love about this doctor office. It's. He's sitting in a chair. It's like wooden. With like a cloth. It's like grandma's dining table. An antique chair. It's an ugly antique chair. This dude combs his hair. I don't understand why you still try to look.
Brady
Someone suffers from restless leg syndrome.
John Holmberg
Because I've got like stuff obviously wrong with my face. Like, you look at my face, you're like. But it's not so bad that I should stop trying. But if my tongue looks like that, I'm not getting my hair cut again. I'm doing that myself. I'm not going to just take a little off the edges. Like, why don't you ever say that about your tongue?
Brady
Imagine that breath.
John Holmberg
And he's decent looking until that of the. And then when his huge giant.
Brady
It's very.
John Holmberg
It looks like a tongue is what they call that pork. And if you see when I press it. You used to make those all the time. Like a slab of. I don't know what it is. A big old.
Brady
It's like a liver.
John Holmberg
Meat liver. Yeah. It looks like a giant li.
Jim Brewer
Whatever they call cow tongue.
John Holmberg
It's a liver. Brady's right. It looks like a liver falls out of his mouth. Look at his hair is nice.
Brady
He's got a cut.
John Holmberg
He's got nice eyes. I mean, just imagine you're the tinder date. And he shows up, he's good looking. He's got a little lump on his neck. Got a glandular problem. Oh, some chicks might be into that big old tongue, though.
Brett Vesely
That might fit Rachel.
John Holmberg
Here's Rachel's legs. Another video. Big fat legs. What's this? These are. This is grotesque. Elephantitis of the feet and legs.
Brett Vesely
Resting leg syndrome, right?
John Holmberg
It is. This is what Rachel's future looks like. Resting leg syndrome. Rachel the Hutt is probably like warts on the.
Brett Vesely
Just rub some ranch on it, it'll be fine.
John Holmberg
But Brady, she can't keep a relationship because those giant ham hocks are restless. That's why. It's not because of her personality or she's ugly. Edison, that is a lot of fat.
Brady
Do you think the pedicure is going to help?
John Holmberg
It's all giant warts that have caused it just looks like. It looks like Dig Dug swelled this dude up. Yeah. Oh, that's perfect. Right before he popped him, he just waited for a second. Wow. Yuck. All right. Oh, Miguel, who was on our 21st birthday, 22nd year trip, said, oh, hell yes. Another Vegas trip. I'm winning again. F. Brenda, though. I'm taking one of you boys. Cocaine and hookers. Vegas. F. Brenda. Sorry. He's not taking his little tiny wife. F. Brenda. Hey, so far, nobody's emailed and said this stupid. We kind of beat it. We beat you to the punch. Let it get it out of your system. Let me check. Text. Oh, there's gonna be some.
Brett Vesely
But there's gonna be some dick in there.
John Holmberg
This is pretty good, man. I like this. All right. Yeah, so far, everybody's excited. Whatever. John, Metallica just announced another round of shows in a brand new venue twice
Brady
the size of the sphere.
Jim Brewer
It's called the Re.
John Holmberg
Rachel. Oh. If you get inside the Rachel, the light show, the enormity of her intestinal tract. It's so good. That's my favorite track is her intestinal one. It's a good one. Brett, what do you got?
Brett Vesely
All right, we're a little light, but we'll do it up. This is just a video of. Of door dash from Brady's restaurant.
John Holmberg
Oh, no. All right, we're in a dash cam. We're looking at a car that's got a.
Brett Vesely
A landmine attached to landmine. Where the.
John Holmberg
Where the hitch is. It's a landmine attached to this.
Jim Brewer
Is this gonna go off?
Brady
God, that's cool.
John Holmberg
Nothing about that's cool at all. Make a left. Unless that's Rachel's car, I am against that.
Brett Vesely
All right. And here's one of, well, Canada lost.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, this guy's the Canadian people. After watching the hockey game, Chainsaw. He chainsaws the TV after. Whatever. The USA beat this maple syrup sucking pile of garbage. We win, you lose. What a dump he lives in. He's probably ice.
Brady
It's got the old empty cool tin.
John Holmberg
That is what it is.
Brady
It's his ice fishing cabin.
John Holmberg
It's my ice fishing cabin. Can't believe we lost them, eh? You lose to us at everything. And now hockey. What do you have to live for? Canada.
Brett Vesely
We've seen one similar to this, but. But here's another OSHA video.
John Holmberg
Okay? We got the overhead show. Oh, my God. This dude's just standing there. And now it's raining, man.
Brett Vesely
There he goes.
John Holmberg
He's standing over some open hole at some factory that does God knows what. And then squid games. Boom. It explodes. Here's a guy just gets blown up.
Brett Vesely
All the pieces just landed.
John Holmberg
And then Chunks of Asian, which is my favorite album from Live Flies Everywhere. My God. Remember when Chunks of Asian first came out? Secret Samadhi and Chunks of Asian. I couldn't stop listening.
Brett Vesely
And we'll just end with this life on the farm.
John Holmberg
All right. Oh, or it was a lady as a kid. It's a little kid.
Jim Brewer
Oh, the cow just craps on a woman's head.
John Holmberg
Orange.
Jim Brewer
And he's.
John Holmberg
He's aiming it at her. Oh, well, that's what you get when you. When you deal with the ass end of a cow. You say mess with the horn, but I'd rather mess with the horns than that. Oh, ringing it out.
Jim Brewer
Get out of there.
Brett Vesely
Nice cans, though.
John Holmberg
She's beautiful. What's she doing in there? Why is she in a row of cow ass? And she's just hooking up the milkers and she's doing it from behind. Rule one, never stand behind a cow or a horse. Oh, my God.
Brady
Carmel delegation.
John Holmberg
You know what?
Brett Vesely
I just sounded like Rachel.
John Holmberg
I wish it was. Yeah, Rachel crapped on that poor, beautiful, beautiful woman. Why would you do such a thing, Rachel? It's my restless cow legs.
Brett Vesely
That's all we got.
John Holmberg
All right. I like that one. All right. There you go. Is that right? Master. Sorry? Master is the word. Master is the word for eight o'. Clock. Master. People are taking your suggestion to heart because you know how many group chats
Brady
our own tech system is a part of?
John Holmberg
Guys, the word is master. The word. Okay, that's perfect. So they're telling each other and they already know. Master is the word for eight o'. Clock. Nine o'. Clock. I'll give you another one and we'll get that going at nine. This Is pretty awesome. So you can go see Metallica at Sphere in Vegas, which is unreal. Two times it says says Metallica may be getting long in the tooth. They may be the new Kiss because they put their name on everything. The difference being everything's profitable. The shows may all be the same, but God God damn it, they have mastered it. This promo is amazing. I agree. This is a really good one. And Sphere alone is something I'd even maybe consider going to see. Ah, not the Grateful Dead, but like the Eagles. I'd probably go sit and watch the boring concert. They're a drag.
Jim Brewer
You two.
John Holmberg
I almost went to. I've heard the visuals of the Eagles. Actually I want to go see the wizard of Oz though. They interactive leaves and stuff and your
Brady
seat vibrates or whatever.
John Holmberg
Oh yeah. Oh, you've not heard anything close wow than what you hear. And that was just me seeing the movie. I can't imagine what the concert Brad said.
Brett Vesely
I mean Metallica is cool and all, but I'm entering to win dinner with youberg.
John Holmberg
Well, maybe if you win, we'll figure it out. This is awesome. So just disappear to the sphere. That's what we're doing. Master is the word you are getting in on the app in the 8am box. And you can do it on our website 98kvd.com as well. There you go. There goes your Brady report. Good luck. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? I made it possible. I made the whole thing possible under my watch, Brady. I'm bringing you the electricity Olympics twice. I'm bringing you the world cup that's coming. You're welcome. I'm bringing you Metallica at Sphere. I love it there.
Brett Vesely
I love Vegas.
Jim Brewer
I've got a big building, man.
John Holmberg
There's my name on it.
Brady
Brett.
Jim Brewer
Very good building.
John Holmberg
It's an amazing place, Brady. I was there last night. Stay in here. I'm bringing you 250 years of America and that's happening on my watch.
Jim Brewer
I did that.
John Holmberg
And now you get to go see
Jim Brewer
one in spite of.
John Holmberg
And I hope they have some sort of like tangible thing raining down falling ashes. Maybe some dead krauts maybe just litter the floor with dead Germans. Or maybe there was Baron. I don't know which war they're talking about with one, but I'm gonna say baron. And I will be there. We'll be stepping over dead krauts or dead Vietnamese. We don't care. Metallica is gonna make it real. That's what we're gonna do. Have dead Krauts, maybe some dead Japs. I don't know. I don't know what, brother. Which is one. Is it Vietnam? Probably Vietnam. We get all those little Charlies, we'll lay them out. We'll lay them out and then we'll light their huts on fire. Because fear is very realistic. And hopefully that happens. Is what they say. Not me. They don't. They don't say. I say it about me, but I don't say nothing's too big for me. Very good. Yeah, it's going to be awesome. Got all these emails of people. John, we just went to see the wizard wizard of Oz at Sphere last weekend. I refused to pay $2,000 to watch wheelchair bound Eagles play. So we saw wizard of Oz and we saw that same world movie you did. Sphere is badass. I, I'm, I'm. Look, I appreciate the Eagles for all their hits. Right. That is one of the worst concerts I've been to, and I've been three times. Everybody kept telling me, oh, the one at ASU back in 94 was. Still stands as one of the worst concerts I've ever been. Really horrible.
Brett Vesely
I love Joe Walsh.
John Holmberg
Well, Joe Wal House was the only saving grace. The best part of that night. Los Lobos.
Brady
Whoa.
John Holmberg
Yeah. And then wasn't the haboob the before the nice windstorm before you were there, you left your car running the whole time.
Brady
Yep.
John Holmberg
And then he left his car running. It was a Honda Accord, right?
Brady
Yeah, no, it was a Nissan Altima.
John Holmberg
Oh. And he had the Ultima going and just. Well, I just locked my keys in there.
Brett Vesely
Three hours.
Brady
Three hours.
John Holmberg
That was a long time.
Brady
I didn't get to car. I got. I went home. North Scottsdale. Got the spare keys.
John Holmberg
2:00am oh, Brady's the jack didn't run out of gas. Yeah, I've never. I've never.
Brady
Quarter tank.
Brett Vesely
Wow.
John Holmberg
Brady's the guy that we all have said. What the stupid are you? When the guy announces there's a car with license plates VFJ435 running in the parking lot. I wish they would. That was him. He's there. Like, I probably heard that announcement.
Brady
I know.
Brett Vesely
Don Henley's on stage announcing.
John Holmberg
I didn't know Brady yet, but yeah. Yeah, Joe Wal.
Jim Brewer
Hey, guys, just gotta let you know there's a car running out in the parking lot. Man,
John Holmberg
that's me, Joe. All right.
Jim Brewer
Sorry about that, little lady. I'm a boy.
Brady
Oh, what are you gonna do?
John Holmberg
Yeah, you just leave it running.
Brady
I had a guy. Guy come and try to. He had the. The little shimmy thing, you know, to a little. Didn't work the way they designed that car that year.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Because that little click sides, the pull up.
Brady
So I'm like, ah, just leave it running. Let's go to the concert.
John Holmberg
I was second decking in that one. I'm sure my girlfriend at the time that ended up plagiarizing Brian Adams later took me to that show. And I remember we were talking during the show and I turned to her and I'm like, we're not like even raising our voices. We're just having a normal conversation. This is bad, isn't it? And she goes, oh, I don't want to. I don't want you to hate it. I'm like, well, there's only one way around this. Sucking. She goes, what? And I'm like, no, I told you. Sucking. This is the only way that we can get through this being.
Brady
So it was a little different. I was on the floor.
John Holmberg
Yeah, the show was terrible, though. But they were there, it was closer and it was boring. They opened with Hotel California. They're like, oh, all right, I guess. And then it just is one. And then you realize how. How many slow songs Eagles has. But at Sphere, you'd still be like, I've seen him at. And then a friend of mine's like, no, you got to see him in a smaller venue. So I saw him when America west arena. And they, they came down there, like, ah, that's still really boring. And then my dad wanted to go last time, and his friend, his friend Howie, his buddy Howie from. They grew up together and he's like 80. He's my dad's age. He's like, can you get tickets to the Eagles for us? I'm like, I can probably get them and we'll have to buy them, but I'll get you. I'll get you some good ones. All right, Howie's coming out. I haven't seen Howie since you were like four. I'm like, yeah, I remember Howie like he was your best buddy. So my dad shows up and there's no Howie. We got our tickets. Howie's not coming. And I'm like, why, mother? How he got caught. I'm like, oh, no. Doing what? You never think you're gonna hear that about an 80 year old man. Yeah, God. Boning this girl for a couple of years. I'm like, wait a minute.
Jim Brewer
What?
John Holmberg
How? He's been married for like 60 years. His wife still cares about that.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
He's going through a divorce. He's really depressed.
Jim Brewer
Like he's so what?
John Holmberg
Little blue pills. He should still show up now that he's single. It's time to swing that 80 year old hog around.
Brady
Destroy a hotel room.
John Holmberg
So how Joe Walsh. So then we stand in there and I just turn to my dad in the middle of it. I'm just glad how he's not here to see this. These dudes are dying on stage. They're boring. The songs are great, but just. They're boring. I still might go see them at. At Sphere.
Brett Vesely
I think Henley even said that they've been accused of loitering on stage.
John Holmberg
They have, yeah. And he even admitted it, you know. Yeah. They line up in a row of five and that's it.
Brady
Well, now they. They're a couple of the sons, right? Or one son, like.
John Holmberg
Oh yeah, one of them. Yeah.
Brett Vesely
They got son or something like Fry's kid.
John Holmberg
Glenn Fry's son.
Brady
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And he's great. They're good.
Brett Vesely
And Vince Gill's up there too.
John Holmberg
He sounds like the molester from Family Guy. It's. It's just boring. Their songs are good, but they're just boring. Metallica is not going to be boring at Sphere. No. You don't even have to like them. And that will be a spectacular visual. This guy says John. 100% right. Show at Sphere is unlike anything I've ever seen. I saw. Brace yourselves. The Backstreet Boys with my girlfriend there. The visuals were incredible and only got better after I ate some edibles. I thought I was legitimately in space. It takes over your brain when you're in that room. It takes over.
Brady
That's what I.
John Holmberg
Your sensor.
Brady
Everyone says it's just.
John Holmberg
It's so cool.
Brady
It's hard to describe.
John Holmberg
He says. That being said, this contest effing sucks. The prize sucks. You guys couldn't get Slayer. I'm done trolling you. I gotta. Gotta win this thing, Alex. Yeah. Well, good luck to you, Alex. The word for the next 10 minutes and I'm going to be all over. This is master. And this is a prize from our friends Aaron, who runs the show over the there that gets Metallica in and out of things. Man. This dude has given us so much access because we've known him forever. And Larry, by the way, the big Boss Man, Larry McFeely has puts this stuff together because his relationships over the years have been incredible.
Brett Vesely
Well, they set that big thing up where we had one of you Guys interviewing the guys from Disturbed and like all kinds of great stuff.
Jim Brewer
That's.
John Holmberg
Who does this every time. We're like, hey, if you want to meet Disturbed, interview him and hang. It's always, always airing from. From prime. And it's. They're so nice to us. It is beyond anything you can imagine. So we appreciate that.
Brady
From what I hear about the setup, is there really isn't like a bad seat in the house.
John Holmberg
No, no, no, no. You. There's a certain level, they'll start telling you for the movie to watch it on level four. And then they're like. And then come back and watch it on level two. It's a different experience. And so I. I was sitting in the middle of level four, which you feel like you're float. It's so cool. It's such a. And people have been there. All we. Weird Brotherhood of like. I've never seen anything like that. Not to mention the outside of it. And Metallica on their website now has put out a video promotional video of this that looks just incredible. We've got that up on our stuff too. So I'm thrilled about this. I think this is the neatest thing we've done in a long time. A long time. Sorry. To the people who won the Nine Inch Nails contest. You guys kind of got on this deal. We mean, I can't wait for 30 days. Yeah, enjoy Nine Inch Nails.
Jim Brewer
It's good.
John Holmberg
You got a sweet. It's a good, good price. We'll play the other game anyway. Good luck. And again, for those who just tuning in, Metallica at Sphere in Las Vegas. And the. The dates on the website are wrong. I think they said October 1st and 3rd. I don't know if that has anything to do with the Pacquiao Mayweather fight being the 19th of September. And I don't think you have to clean anything up, but it's now October 1st and 3rd, and it says September 24th and 26th. But that's not right. You get $200 in fuel. We'll put you up in a hotel. I'm not sure which one. And you guys are ready to go?
Brett Vesely
Circus Circus.
John Holmberg
Yeah. You know what? So what? That's still working. Yeah. Look at this thing. This is the promotional video for. This is incredible. This is on our site.
Brett Vesely
It's on their site, but I think we have a link to it too.
Brady
It's on the Instagram.
Jim Brewer
Kpd.
John Holmberg
Okay. Ah, it's gonna be so good.
Brett Vesely
We won't be there there.
John Holmberg
No, we might have to be there. All right. New part of the contest, you get. You get tickets to two shows. To see Metallica at Sphere in Vegas. You're gonna get hotel and $200 in fuel and a blowjob from Brady. And that's a promise from me to you. If you. And. And you got to take Brady, the show. Brady will blow you. In fact, Brady even. What's that? Brady just hit. Handed me a note. 69 for the win. Brady said. Brady will. Brady will 69 you. And you don't even have to do his part. Just let it hit you in the nose. You just got to have those weird red balls on your head. Enjoy it. That's going to be great. All right. Master is the word for eight o'. Clock. I'll give you nine. Jim Brewer, one of my favorite people on the planet. Haven't talked to him in forever. He's going to pull his tour bus in here in just a minute and he's coming in in just a little while to be part of this nonsense on a great day. And Jim's in the news. I think he did it for us. He evidently is on a no fly list or something. He's caused a ruckus on a plane. We'll talk to Jim Brewer in just a little bit. It's 98, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Oh, this is great stuff. Our traffic and weather window that leaves the. That looks out to our beautiful parking lot as we stare out at Camelback. Beautiful. It's gorgeous. We got two creepy meth heads that just parked their bike and started to monkey around with the city water supply that we've got.
Brady
He's got a full size roller suitcase, too. They opened it up.
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah, they got a lot of supply, Brady. They've got a lot of supplies. Applies.
Brett Vesely
He just came from Sky Harbor. He just jacked that. Don't worry.
John Holmberg
So as we're watching these two kind of unpack their suitcase and talk about life in our parking lot, Trip pulls in and his 1968 Porsche convertible. I don't know. What was that his Volvo? What is that thing?
Brett Vesely
No, that's 356.
John Holmberg
It's a what?
Brett Vesely
356 convertible.
John Holmberg
What year?
Brett Vesely
I think he said it's like a.
John Holmberg
It's gorgeous. 61 or 62. He pulls in red ascot. Flying driving gloves my way. Just crushing out some. Some glorious Sinatra as he rolls in. Going to work today. Yeah. I hope I Don't pull into the parking lot and see any losers. Well, looky, look. And you just see him. He stops by the homeless and he's like. Yeah. My assume is like, hey, losers, My name is success. You can't park here. I'll state my. I'm sure they fired backing up. They've fired back with you. QQ tip now we'll see about that. Now I'm gonna send Rachel out because it's time for a fish fry.
Jim Brewer
Big fat Rachel.
John Holmberg
Go attack those homeless. Take those meaty thighs and get out there and smother those two with your Seattle like fish trap.
Brett Vesely
He's lighting the pipe right now.
John Holmberg
Is he is tripping yet or is he going to fight him? I don't know. Moynihan, Ed, go fight the homeless.
Brady
He is stretching out.
John Holmberg
He's going to work it and then just Sonic the hedgehog, barrel roll those two right under the Papago golf course. Anyway, let's trip on the way to work in the convertible. My scarf looks so good. Gorgeous car. It's a beautiful car. All right, nine o' clock word now for Metallica is seasons. Seasons is the word. You're firing off at 9 o' clock to win this awesome thing at Sphere Las Vegas to see Metall October 1st and October 3rd. I'm throwing those dates out as guesses they could change. But you're going to get two shows Metallica's doing over there at the glorious Sphere in Vegas. We're not only going to do that, we'll put you up in a hotel. You don't have fence for yourself. We'll give you 200 bucks in fuel. Again, too many felons out there. We cannot get to air travel and parking lot. Yeah, Jim Brewer is going to talk about wanting to drive in the first place. He's not going to want to travel by air anyway. We're going to have a different code word every hour from now. A week and a half this game goes on. So get ready to go. Listen to that. Nine o' clock word is seasons. So get that together. I did get one. I did get one. Of people are like, this isn't as good as you were making it out to be. And we told you before I even told you what this contest was. Please just email me with your hater cries. Get it over with to tell me things suck before humans who hate life and fun and happiness. This one says this Metallica giveaway. Dumb. You're only giving two tickets away. I mean, I can't take anybody with me like that. Just two people in Vegas, and then I gotta fly or try to figure out how to get there. And then two seats at Sphere. I don't want the seats. Not to mention the person sitting in front of me. What if I have a leg episode? I might want to take my brave sister, but she doesn't want to go anywhere with me. Four should do it if I win. And $200 for travel, I'm gonna eat that alone at the McDonald's. And win Wickenberg signed Rachel the Manatee. Yeah. So Rachel is already kind of out of the list. Here comes Trip. Trip, give us a play by play on the losers. Those are relatives. I'll ask this question, considering all that's gone on here in the last year. We're not. They're not on a severance package and they're not. We're not dealing with anything like that. We don't have to worry about to shoot them up, do we? No one did. One left. One's messing around with the water thing over here. He's been turning that on and off. I don't know where he went. He said he pointed at a red convertible and he started to walk towards it. What?
Brady
What did you say?
John Holmberg
When you stopped? Yeah, when you.
Brady
You kind of stopped.
John Holmberg
Yeah. You're gonna. Oh, you did. You didn't say hello or anything? No, you just said, I'm gonna call the police.
Brady
Did you have some.
Brett Vesely
Right.
Brady
In the car? That's what we were wondering.
John Holmberg
Wait, what did they say? They just stared at you. Mind your own business, man. This is my business. Business. All right. Trip's handling some hobos.
Brady
Tfr.
John Holmberg
That's what I like. Yeah, you're dealing with Trip Reed, man. Yeah. Oh, Jesus. It's hawkish. Towards your car now. Yeah, they're all going to your car. Oh, no.
Brady
He's picking up the trash. He is picking up the trash.
John Holmberg
Either way, he is the trash. Brady, we need to pick him up. I don't like this at all. Anyway, play by play of losers. Yeah, can we get some police officers here to Hubbard, right? 1100 North 52nd street before Jim Brewer gets here. Oh, Jim, if you're listening, hit him with your bus on your drive in.
Brett Vesely
Nobody will miss him.
John Holmberg
Yeah, not at all. Anyway, the nine o' clock word is seasons. Get on that right now. Jim Brewer is over there at Celebrity Theater tonight. If you haven't seen Brewer in the round. Yeah, he's so great. I haven't talked to. We haven't talked to Jim for a long time. He is just flying flat Out. Awesome. And gotta love Brewer. He's here with a special guest, Brian McKenna, and he's gonna be over at Celebrity Theater tonight. Find the funny, and if you wanna grab tickets, you can.
Brett Vesely
It's in our parking lot.
John Holmberg
Yeah, our funnies. Look at this window. You can find it a little bit. You wanna grab tickets, you can go to Celebrity Theater box office, you can go to their website, you can go anywhere you want. Or just Jim Brewer, go to his site and stuff and find all that. Pretty great. Brewer will join us in just a little bit. It's 98 KUPD, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? To you. To you, pd. Look at this, everybody. It's been ages. Jim Brewer is with us. He's gonna be at Celebrity Theater tonight and tonight only, if you want to go. How you doing, Brewer?
Jim Brewer
I'm just doing good.
John Holmberg
It's good to see you.
Jim Brewer
Just rolled in. No pun intended.
John Holmberg
You did. You have your bus. You came right in here. Everything's good. You're. Yeah, you're decked out, traveling. You're not flying anymore because even I think you did this on purpose. But yesterday the news breaks. I think it was yesterday, maybe it was a year before, but said that you were in a fight with an airline because.
Jim Brewer
Yes, I thought I was going to
John Holmberg
read no Fly List somewhere.
Jim Brewer
I. I almost ended up on the no Fly List. I. I still have PTSD from this moment.
John Holmberg
We. We've.
Brady
We've settled it.
Jim Brewer
We've somewhat settled the score.
Brady
Okay.
John Holmberg
But.
Jim Brewer
Yeah, we settled the score.
John Holmberg
What happened?
Jim Brewer
Here's what happened. I. I don't. Believe it or not, I don't really fly first class, so my daughter's working in Honolulu. She's got a great gig. She's starting to be a chef. She's working with some great chef out in high. So we're like, oh, let's go visit our daughter. We go before we go on tour. I'm gonna be gone for like three months. We go there on the way. I said, you know, why don't we do first class? We'll spend some cash and we'll do that. And my wife said, oh, it's a lot of money, a couple thousand bucks, but it's also a red eye. So you leave in Honolulu. Gives. I got a pulled hand. Whatever. Book's first class.
John Holmberg
Yeah, shouldn't matter. You don't have an excuse. Jim Brewer, you work for this. You've Earned this.
Jim Brewer
I've been around. You've done it, Right. So we're in first class. So as we're about to board now, I do see there's other crew members there. And I. And I said, we're looking at this pilot, and he's got these flowers and the guy behind the counter to them. It's something sheepish going on.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
I don't know. Maybe they know each other. Well, as we're boarding. As we're boarding. Okay. Hey, Handicap.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
Military. James Brewer and Diana Brewer, please come to see me. And I went, are we.
John Holmberg
We're done?
Jim Brewer
No, I'm like, oh, you're. I'm joking. Like, are we in trouble? I can't get upgraded to the pilot. Like, where.
John Holmberg
Where. You're in.
Jim Brewer
What's going on? And he goes, no, you're not in trouble. We just had to downgrade you to row 18 and 19. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you talking about?
Brady
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
He goes, no, we. And he won't look me in the eyes. Holy. He's like, we.
John Holmberg
We.
Jim Brewer
We overbooked first class. Hold on a second, dude.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
First of all, I. I know you're like, you didn't overbook first class, right?
John Holmberg
You didn't. Over.
Brady
You.
Jim Brewer
You can't. I have a ticket in hand.
Brady
I have my.
Jim Brewer
I picked this six weeks ago, right? I already did my. I'm getting chicken Franchese. I grabbed Chicken Franchese. I ordered it already with a Merlot. I'm already in there.
Brady
And keep them coming every five days.
Jim Brewer
You don't overbook when I put my menu slotting. Yeah, you're in, right? It's over.
John Holmberg
Show me the guy with the same ticket. Yes.
Jim Brewer
So I went, wait a minute. I said, no. I know a captain. I'm friends with a captain.
John Holmberg
Okay.
Jim Brewer
And I'm also friends with a couple airline dudes. So I know how they have to get seats, and I know how they have to. But you can't take a paid customer seat.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Brett Vesely
So first class especially.
Jim Brewer
Exactly. I know it's going down right here, right? However, it's 10:30 at night. We need to get home.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
So no options. There's zero options. So I'm getting.
John Holmberg
I went.
Jim Brewer
I said, no, no, no, no, no, no.
John Holmberg
We.
Jim Brewer
We. No, no, that's not happening.
John Holmberg
We're.
Jim Brewer
We're sitting in there, and he goes, it's too late. We already. It's already done. Oh, I. Can we see it? Can we see a supervisor? I am the supervisor. You're the supervisor. Supervisor. Okay, so who'd you give my tickets to that guy or that guy? Who'd you give the tickets? Yeah. And he's going, I can't tell you who I give. He goes, your name was on a list. What are you talking about?
John Holmberg
What list?
Jim Brewer
When your name. When the names came up.
John Holmberg
Your names.
Jim Brewer
So this is what we're dealing with right now.
Brady
They're.
Jim Brewer
They're boarding first class.
John Holmberg
Yeah. All right.
Jim Brewer
First class. Like, what the. Like, what is going. Like, what is going on right now?
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
So a couple people.
John Holmberg
Real.
Jim Brewer
A couple. If my wife wasn't there, who's Ms. Christian? Jesus.
Brett Vesely
What.
Jim Brewer
This is at the end of our. Every night when I. When we talk at the end. Night, she's like, so what did God show you today?
John Holmberg
Oh, no, you got to make something up.
Jim Brewer
Oh, yeah.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
I have to think all day. He. He made me talk to the guy at the truck stop, and I laughed. I wish him to be blessed.
John Holmberg
Judgment.
Brady
Well, that's great, Jeff.
John Holmberg
The loser at the truck stop shouldn't be judged is what I learned today.
Jim Brewer
He was dropping a douche next to the truck, and I. God said, give him toilet paper.
John Holmberg
He was. Help him.
Brady
I was a good Samaritan.
Jim Brewer
So she's. She's.
John Holmberg
She's angry.
Jim Brewer
She's angry, but she's down here. And I pulled the old. So you're telling me you're taking a frequent flyer paid customer out of first class. That's what you're telling me right now? Who'd you give it to? And she's going, jim, Jim, Jim, Jim. And now. Now I'm like, yeah, I don't want to be the. I don't want to be the guy that you see on Frontier Airlines losing
John Holmberg
his mind, you know, on a Carnival
Jim Brewer
cruise, like, bang, bang ban.
Brady
Walking out.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Trash bag full of clothes.
Jim Brewer
So I'm trying to keep my composure. But what. The real part that. That bothered me a. I know it was an overbooked. And we deal with all this and people say what. Whatever they want to try to say. It's if it. Let's say it was overbooked. If the guy said, and when it's overbooked, we all been there. They go, is anyone willing to. Yeah. Yes, and we'll give you xyz. And then no one takes it. And they go, okay, we're upping the ante. This pilot, we're gonna do two vouchers. Yeah.
John Holmberg
You wait it out. Yeah.
Jim Brewer
And a rent a car.
John Holmberg
You might as well have Wayne Brady making the deals. Like, there's another curtain I wait for that.
Jim Brewer
There was no if. I'm telling you, if this guy went, listen to me. We could. Got to get these. These. These pilots need to be in first class. And we have a situation.
John Holmberg
I.
Jim Brewer
If we can put him in your seats and put there. We will give you two vouchers for a future first class flight.
John Holmberg
This one, right?
Jim Brewer
Done.
John Holmberg
Handled.
Jim Brewer
We're done. It's handled. But he went first of all. He offered zero. Zero.
John Holmberg
You're just taking the lump.
Jim Brewer
You take the hit and suck it.
John Holmberg
Suck it, goat boy. Get in your chair.
Jim Brewer
Suck it, walk out. Can you imagine going in a car dealership and you're like, I'm here. You go, here's my money. I want the Lamborghini. And they pull up with a Honda Insight. Yeah, no, this is what you got.
John Holmberg
We overbooked the Lamborghini. Oversold, though.
Jim Brewer
But you sold it to me. You handed me the keys. Yeah, well, same price. It's the same price. And good luck going through customer service trying to get.
John Holmberg
There's no flight after, so you gotta eat this. I gotta eat it.
Jim Brewer
So then he goes, and you're in group 12 now. Born at 18. Yes. And we have bags. All right.
John Holmberg
Dude next to you with a chicken on his head like some work.
Jim Brewer
I'm starting to lose my snot. So he goes. He didn't offer anything, which was. Enraged me even more. I mean, if you're gonna. If you're gonna do that to someone, which I truly believe was foul play, they took it.
John Holmberg
Sure.
Brady
You.
Jim Brewer
You better go. Okay, sir, here's your vouchers for a future first class. We highly apologize. No, you know, he goes, I can get you. I get you. How about I give you a $500 five?
John Holmberg
That's not covering anything.
Jim Brewer
You get row 18 again. What is that exactly? I'm paying? That's what it costs for row 18?
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
If I'm lucky, I got to up. Actually, no, it's more expensive because the $500 gets me on the plane. But. Oh, wait a minute. That's behind exit row.
John Holmberg
So technically that's a sexy dollars because
Jim Brewer
you're only eight inches away from the
John Holmberg
seat in front of you, unless you want to go down three inches. And then you pay $380. Unreal.
Jim Brewer
And you got to pay for your two extra bags because you're not in first class anymore.
John Holmberg
So now.
Jim Brewer
Okay, now we got issues. So 500 bucks. And then he goes. My wife goes, hold on a second. Is there a flight tomorrow? And this banana goes, hold on a second.
John Holmberg
Yeah,
Jim Brewer
I Can get you on the flight tomorrow night. He goes, the only thing is I can't sit you guys together. We went, fine, yeah, all right, we're good.
John Holmberg
See each other all the time.
Jim Brewer
Yeah, totally good. And then I went, wait a minute. I come, I said, hold on a second. Is tomorrow night first class?
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
He goes, no, it's economy, but I can get you economy plus. Like, no, this is a supervisor. Oh, the super.
John Holmberg
Super.
Jim Brewer
So anyway, I said, I just want to get on the plane. My wife's like, no, you're paying for, for a hotel. I'm not chasing all this money. I know how this. I know how the system works.
Brady
And if you don't like it, write a letter to the airlines.
Jim Brewer
That's why this is what I get.
Brady
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
So for three straight days, I will call people, I'll say, listen, I don't mean to vent to you, but. And I know you had nothing to do with this, but here's my situation. Every, every person I had to get to, like the baggage claim people that like, oh, so your bag's missing. No, here's the situation, but I can't get anyone on the phone. She went, oh. Each one went, here's what you do. You go on AA.com and you write your report and you demand what you want. Okay? So that's what I did for three straight days. Two days later, I, I get a anime like an AI email that says, we're going to rebirth you for $400. I still have the email.
John Holmberg
$400, that's it?
Jim Brewer
Yeah. So then I can't. I'm emailing someone that's not going to email back to me.
Brady
Get no answers.
Jim Brewer
There's no answer. So then somewhat now my fan. Now I go on a live stream.
John Holmberg
Did the email start? Dear Ms. Mr. Atta, please stop calling me.
Jim Brewer
I know what you're doing.
John Holmberg
Well, don't, don't get too upset, Muhammad. It might be right.
Jim Brewer
I understand you have a problem. What is going down there then? Thank God for fans. They said you got to go to the Department of Transportation.
Brady
Geez.
Jim Brewer
And file there. And dude, you filed there. They have to investigate. Investigate all airlines in all situations.
John Holmberg
Nice.
Jim Brewer
And all of a sudden, I did that late at night. I did that around 11:00 clock midnight, 5:00pm the next day, someone from the
John Holmberg
airline calls a person. Yes.
Jim Brewer
Hey, I have to. We got your report from the Department of Transportation.
Brady
So.
Jim Brewer
Yeah, how about we just like I
Brady
see we cred you five whistling in between there. Yeah.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
And how about we give you a Credit for the amount that it cost for two tickets for the first class. I said, that's great. And all that. I go, what really bothers me is, what about the everyday dude.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
That doesn't have the platform? This is what I said to him. And I went. It took you for me to file for the Department of Transportation before I got a decent.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
A decent response. And I'm still. I'm still bothered by this.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
I said, I'll take this for now because I don't want you to take it away from me.
John Holmberg
Right.
Jim Brewer
I don't want you to take it away.
John Holmberg
Me.
Jim Brewer
I don't trust you. I don't trust your airline. I don't trust any of you anymore. I don't trust your product. I just don't trust you.
Brady
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
And. And what consumers should at this point, after this is happening to me or anyone, it's not like I'm special. So unbeknownst to me, yesterday, I'm waking up like, dude, you're on TMZ everywhere. You're on fox, bro. You're on NBC. You're. You're on People magazine.
John Holmberg
Like, what, they ratted you out?
Jim Brewer
No, it. It went crazy. It went crazy. And I guess the thing thing was it resonates with people, of course. So if you look at the messages. I don't have messages like, hey, Jim, I feel for you. It's like, oh, my God, this is in 2018. I flew in the airline, and I got. And I'm still looking for my Damn. My leg.
John Holmberg
So is.
Jim Brewer
Is a line of people that have been through this experience, and, you know,
John Holmberg
and now that you're done and you got your money, just leave. Leave Jim alone.
Jim Brewer
I will say, I got her. And she said, she called yesterday the head chief of customer service, the American chick, and she, you know, she apologized up and down. I said, listen. And she goes. And I totally understand if you. If you don't even want the Chris and just want money in your account.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
I want to be honest with you. Credit is fine.
Brady
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
It's just. I don't want. I don't want this to happen to people.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
You have the opportunity to change all your policies. I said, you still have a supervisor that is willing to do this to customers. If you're gonna do this to someone and you know you're gonna do it, at least have lined up to make that person happy at that moment when you spring on them, hey, we're bumping you from. On this flight. Hey, I know you such a fixable Problem. It's such a fixable problem.
John Holmberg
Would you have taken the money if the other offer was you can fire the supervisor?
Jim Brewer
And here's the thing.
John Holmberg
Oh, I would have done it. I'd have eaten.
Jim Brewer
And here's the thing. I don't like. There were position. There was times where I'm like, I want this guy just a you. I want his head.
John Holmberg
They can hire him back, but you usually get the satisfaction. Yeah.
Jim Brewer
And I didn't. And I'm not. I'm not. Not into that.
John Holmberg
Or tell him you're downgrading him.
Jim Brewer
I would like to downgrade him. You're downgraded until you file.
John Holmberg
You get to do the Magellan sticks for like four months out in the.
Brett Vesely
On the sky cap out there now.
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah.
Jim Brewer
You go in the sky cap, you
Brady
load luggage, deliver the franchise.
John Holmberg
Yeah. How great would that be?
Jim Brewer
And then come back in three months when you're a real supervisor, when you get it, you know how to do
John Holmberg
things that we have some power over. You wouldn't be great if they'd offered you the opportunity to downgrade that guy.
Jim Brewer
I would have liked that.
John Holmberg
Yeah. That I would take.
Jim Brewer
Not to be mean, Jon, just for
John Holmberg
me to be mean. One week. That's all it is for me. Bitterness and anger.
Jim Brewer
That's all I care about.
John Holmberg
That's it. That's where I am now. That's where the world is for me. And I'm like, you know what? It's time to swing back.
Jim Brewer
And at the end of the day, she's like. She goes, do you really. Are you sure you don't need anything else? I want to be honest with you. I would like a plate of chicken franchise. I was dreaming for hours of eating of airline chicken.
John Holmberg
Well, you know what? And you should get a whole bunch of it. And Jim, if you look out right now, American food and beverages in our parking lot with your lifetime delivering the goods from our friends at American. That's. That's. That's a. Everybody's got a story about the airlines. Throw this.
Jim Brewer
It's horrible. Hey, if it. Now I started getting other pilots.
John Holmberg
Like, hey, man, fly hustle. Bring in the cockpit. And we fly red Delta. Like, all right. Like. Because I almost got on a no fly list and I. Well, I realized that my love for anyone is going to be trumped by convenience at any given time because we were in Denver and we had had sea boarding seats for Southwest. And my wife does not travel well. Right. So she hates flying. And right before we got on the plane, her mom says flying out of Denver is really scary cuz it's bouncy in those mountains. So now she's like, done. So we get on the plane and there's only middle seats left. And she's got a real mousy voice. And she says, that's all I'm hearing. That noise that I know is it's that little volcano before the volcano. I'm like, oh boy. Right in the middle of the aisle. She says, would someone switch seats with me? I'm a bad flyer and I would like to sit next to him. And everybody like had like a magazine in their face in a second, right?
Jim Brewer
They're not giving up their eyelids.
John Holmberg
I'm like, it's all right, you'll be okay. And then she goes, no one will help me. And I'm like, oh, here we go. And then she goes, all right, everyone off. I'm like, oh, we're getting on. I don't know this bitch. I don't know who that is.
Jim Brewer
She's insane. I'm not with her.
John Holmberg
She should be removed. I'm not walking from Denver. She should be removed. Removed from the airline. I immediately, like, dismissed her as a human. I'm like, ah, this crazy. That was me.
Jim Brewer
I don't know who that is. That was me.
John Holmberg
She's lost her mind. I think she's a terrorist.
Jim Brewer
She's tripping. She knows me from the radio. She's calling my name out. She's profiling me.
John Holmberg
Follow me around for ages.
Jim Brewer
Yes.
John Holmberg
It makes you, like, not want to fight them because in the end, they've got this ultimate weapon of going, all right, well, you don't fly now. Correct. And it's scary because when you get into that spot, you're like, they going to pull it. Right.
Jim Brewer
And that's is. Is the position I was put in. It's the whole, the whole way they handled it.
Brady
It's just. Just really that they even try to do that. Yeah, I mean, it's not like you got upgraded. You had you, you know, a frequent flyer and that's.
Jim Brewer
You purchased the ticket. I purchased it.
John Holmberg
It wasn't done.
Jim Brewer
It's. Yeah.
John Holmberg
No other business gets away with the. We sold a whole bunch of these and you don't get your money back,
Jim Brewer
you know, And a couple of them say, well, some of the BO contract at first class, I'm gonna put 99.9. According to the friend of mine is a Cathy goes, that is true. However, you still cannot remove. It's called state paid first customer. And I did say, I said so. You stole it. You stole my money. I had a. I had a airline, a captain. I greet you. He goes, I'm really offended. I'm a proud captain and I'm proud. He goes, the fact that you called us thieves. I said, I didn't call us thieves. Yeah, I called them thieves. That's. He goes, well, sometimes we're contracted, but. Yeah, you're contracted. If it's open and you can get up there, that's the contract. And I don't care not to take a paid first class. It's really. Don't try that whole story. Yeah, I don't. I don't know. Yeah, let's try that whole story. My best friend's a captain. He told me everything. I was prepped for the court.
John Holmberg
Yeah, good for you. You're a proud captain. I don't care that you're gay. I just want my money back. Come on. Why are you giving me grief about your homosexuality? Just get me on that goddamn plate.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
Oh, my God.
John Holmberg
Jim brewers at Celebrity banned from flying.
Jim Brewer
Oh, no, that's official. You are homophobic and you're out.
John Holmberg
He called himself proud. I was happy for him. I don't know. Look, you can be a power bottom or top, I don't care. I just want my money back. That's all I care about. Agreed. My favorite thing about Jim Brewer, not only your comedy, which is now. Is it amazing that the time you spent doing this, do you ever reflect on that? Like, I mean, being all you've done over all this time, and then you sit. Because we're in our 25th year here, and it dawns on me every once in a while, like, my God, that's a quarter of a century of one job.
Jim Brewer
Well, it weirds me out when. When I'm sure you'll have fans that come up and they'll bring something up. Like when you first started.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Oh, but they're still there, there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jim Brewer
Like, are you gonna do the thing that you do when you remember the first year?
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
Why don't you do that anymore?
John Holmberg
Our first week, to continue, the theme was 9 11.
Jim Brewer
Wow.
John Holmberg
So people remember our first week.
Jim Brewer
Remember that? Remember this? You're gonna do that again? Oh, no.
Brady
We'll be right back.
Jim Brewer
It was awesome.
John Holmberg
I remember.
Jim Brewer
I remember when you did that.
John Holmberg
And you guys were awesome.
Jim Brewer
Oh, my God.
John Holmberg
I've been listening ever since.
Jim Brewer
You made me think, like, I. You took me on my depression.
John Holmberg
What? A bit.
Jim Brewer
How long did you write that?
Brady
Doing phone shams the whole time.
John Holmberg
We're just kidding.
Jim Brewer
Around it.
John Holmberg
Does it dawns on you though, like you sometimes. I mean, you think I. I saw a rerun of Saturday Night Live on one of those channels that just does it all the time. And it was like 96, I'm guessing.
Jim Brewer
And there you are.
John Holmberg
And I'm like, man, weird. That doesn't register that that's 30 years now.
Jim Brewer
No, it's so.
Brady
You know what?
Jim Brewer
I. Everything I do is I never look backwards.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
I never.
John Holmberg
I. And I.
Jim Brewer
It's so buried in God and crazy. Whatever. I'm always in the now and I'm always going forward. But yeah, when I see it, I'm like, I feel. You know when you look like your childhood pictures.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Oh, wow.
Jim Brewer
I remember.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
I remember me and Tommy play with a ball. It's the same feeling.
John Holmberg
Is it?
Jim Brewer
Oh, yeah. I was on. Yeah, that's right. I remember that.
Brady
There's got to be. But there's also numerous times. It's like I did that.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, yeah.
Brady
Hey, do you remember this? You did this to me at one time.
Jim Brewer
Yes.
John Holmberg
I don't remember that. I always say no just in case. Yes. Remember that?
Jim Brewer
I went to my first high school reunion ever. It was a 40 year reunion. Reunion. And. And thank God everyone wore tags. There's a lot of.
John Holmberg
They look horrible.
Brady
Oh, my.
John Holmberg
I know you're.
Jim Brewer
And this is no disrespect except for the horrible. Any females out there. But I don't know what happened. My. The guys.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
All look the same. I was like, oh my God. Oh my God. You're just a little heavier. You're a little thinner. You looked at. You lost some hair. But you're there. The females I did a lot of like, hey, go zone in on that little name tag.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
Tracy, you look the same.
John Holmberg
Wow.
Jim Brewer
Holy crow. That's incredible.
Brady
You look great.
Jim Brewer
You look great.
John Holmberg
Diane, you look incredible. Hey, Tracy, the one that was right to you.
Jim Brewer
Let me give you a hug. Well, halfway.
John Holmberg
Just give it some of a hug. Let's all hug her. We'll get around this.
Jim Brewer
Can't get past the halfway marking.
John Holmberg
Hands Across America and yeah, he's got a theory. Always says men age like wine and women age like milk. And it's mean. But reunions don't.
Jim Brewer
True. There's a lot of melted ice cream in that room. Melted ice cream.
John Holmberg
I've always thought of you as a person. That you were the bravest one before there were brave people. Like before everybody started to speak out that there's something going on. Covid too. But way Before.
Jim Brewer
Way before that, when you started to
Brady
say it first came in, you talked
John Holmberg
about, like, the weirdness in, like, Hollywood, and everybody started saying, oh, brewers lost it. Yes. And you're the Jose Canseco of comedy.
Jim Brewer
Yes.
John Holmberg
Because it turned out you were right about almost every single thing you've said. It's true. And everybody said, but how many people. How many people were saying, oh, Brewer's off the deep end? I don't know that he's off the deep end. I think he just is seeing stuff different.
Brady
I just like the fact. Guys, come on.
John Holmberg
But you brought stuff, theater students, that they're dealing with with now.
Jim Brewer
Yes.
John Holmberg
Without detail. I kind of get it now. Yes. Yeah. And.
Jim Brewer
And
John Holmberg
careful. Gets out of the air, we're not gonna fly.
Jim Brewer
I would tell everyone, like, when did I leave? I was. I was peaking. I wasn't on the down.
John Holmberg
No.
Jim Brewer
I was on the up.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
I go, so that's the first common sense. You should really study.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
Right. And so. But I would get people like, oh,
John Holmberg
yeah, you know, you jealous or you couldn't make it.
Jim Brewer
Whatever. Whatever they said, I didn't care. But when I would. It just blew my. It blows my mind that now with information, it's. It's satisfying, it's humbling. I did trust in time, this eventually would unravel.
John Holmberg
Was it ever a point where you thought to yourself, I should have shut my mouth? No, no. You were happy that you got everything
Jim Brewer
off your chest 100%.
John Holmberg
Because it was always great to hear that, because I. You know.
Brady
Did you feel like you had to be more quiet, though, during that time?
Jim Brewer
Well, yeah, because people, like, give me names. Like, I can't give you names. It's like. It's like putting out a mobster.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
You know, and people go, oh, you really. Why don't you always put out a name? No. You see, people get murdered, and then after they're murdered, what do you. What are you gonna do? The listener or the fan? Then you're gonna go, oh, that's a bummer. Yeah, that's my. That's my prize for giving specific names. I can tell you the things that I. That I said that were going on and what I saw and what I'm telling you said to us, you got to join a club years ago.
John Holmberg
Exactly.
Jim Brewer
That's no choice. You said that.
John Holmberg
And I was like, maybe he might have just thought. And I didn't think bitterness or weird, but I just thought maybe just Jim stumbled into the wrong thing. And then 10 years, and it's like. And this. I'm not kidding. This is probably 2019. When it was like everything he said to us back in 2000, 2008.
Jim Brewer
Yes.
John Holmberg
It's, like, happening. And we. And Brady and I say it all the time. Brewer said that way before without telling us. He told us. The old pioneer. Yeah, yeah.
Jim Brewer
You boys have no idea. Now I'm, like, in a shed with long hair. I left the Jedi world a long
John Holmberg
time ago, hammering out typed letters like,
Brett Vesely
ted Kaczynski, we need you back.
John Holmberg
Yeah, but it was we. Yeah, no coming.
Jim Brewer
You'll never get detail. All right, Right. I'll train one.
John Holmberg
It was great, though, because we. You said it. You got to join a club. You didn't give details, but you said, the things I saw with young people, the things I saw in the business, the mistreatment of others, and we're like, oh, Jim's, you couldn't have been in all those rooms. But that it was running rampant.
Jim Brewer
I know, Right there. You were on it right there.
John Holmberg
And no one ever goes back. And Canseco is the same thing in baseball. They never go back and goes, sorry, Canseco's still. He's nuts. But he was the only one that said, here's everything that's going on. Like, oh, he's lost his mind.
Jim Brewer
Right?
John Holmberg
And he wasn't.
Jim Brewer
Because you're bringing down an empire. Yeah, you're not bringing down. But you're bringing down an empire and a guy like Jose Canseco. Even when. When I say the. The names they're putting in front of you, like, with the files and all that. Yeah, they are the Jose Can Seikos. They're the Mark McGuire's. But what people don't understand, like, with the.
John Holmberg
With the.
Jim Brewer
With people don't know. We're talking about the steroid errand. Baseball and the lawyers the agents were supplying. I know that firsthand.
John Holmberg
Oh, boy. Bro.
Jim Brewer
I remember in mid-90s, see, I could talk about now.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
I used to be worried about getting whacked because we're talking about billions of dollars. We're not talking about billion, trillion dollars dollar industry. So I remember an agent going, you want it? He goes, first of all, did you know 75% of ball players are all. I'm like, no.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
He goes, 75. 75%. That's pretty much that. He goes, there's probably more. And then he was letting me listen to phone calls from players that we all know.
John Holmberg
Oh, boy.
Jim Brewer
And what one was a wife going, if he.
Brady
If he.
Jim Brewer
If he hit me one more time, I'M gonna blow all you up. This ain't worth no money.
John Holmberg
That you.
Brady
He.
Jim Brewer
He's getting aggressive. He hitting me. He did. And then another one like, yo, man, big series with the Red Sox, I need my. It's not in you. I need my stuff. And this is a. These are lawyers and agents.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Yes.
Jim Brewer
And they're with coaches and they mingle with the, With, With. With the owners, everybody. And like, listen, we're gonna. Yeah, we're gonna keep you in base. It's gonna get ugly for a little while, but you gotta go into public eye, take this hit for. I mean, we'll. We'll take care of your pension. And. And that's the only thing is the public only sees and still only believes the nice little promo TV spot for their favorite politician, their boy. This. And that's all you get. It's professional.
Brady
You're getting a taste.
Jim Brewer
You're getting a taste. And it. Everything. When you understand the phrase the world is a stage. It.
Brady
It.
Brett Vesely
It.
Jim Brewer
When you truly understand that, your. Your mind will start to get blown and you realize it's not even real. Including the politics.
John Holmberg
Oh, it's. Oh, that's the thing. They've made you tribal for a reason. So you don't question your side. It's religion. It has become this. Do not question me. And I always say that unbelievable Matrix truth loves Scrooge scrutiny. Yes. Truth loves questions. So the second they say, don't question, I question everything. I'm turning into Alex Jones. I'm getting fat.
Jim Brewer
Turning red. I'm turning everything to me. Making the frogs gay.
John Holmberg
Jim. They're frogs or homosexuals. They're pilots now. They're pilot. Homosexual. Pilot. Frog tried to kick me off my flight. What's happened to the men, Jim? But, yeah, it's. It's just this crazy, weird thing where I'm like, I don't believe anything anymore,
Jim Brewer
and I don't want to be that
John Holmberg
guy, but I like the Nancy Guthrie thing down in Tucson.
Brett Vesely
Something.
John Holmberg
I don't buy it.
Jim Brewer
I didn't buy day one. Yes.
John Holmberg
I'm like, this is all something wrong, and it's going to come out where somebody's the winner.
Brady
There's one of those quotes from the mother, like, the same from the movie of the Lambs.
John Holmberg
Yes. Yes.
Jim Brewer
Wasn't that great? But this is the. This is what's incredible, though, to a degree. It's borderline chaos and borderline truth awakening. Meaning this is the first time in
Brett Vesely
history
Jim Brewer
where you'll have, like, a tragic event.
Brady
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
No one goes oh my God, the guy. Did they go, hold on a minute, wait for it. Let's look at the. Wait a minute. He's going into the establishment with Nike sneakers.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
He's coming out with Pumas. And he's like, wait a minute. They screwed this.
John Holmberg
This.
Jim Brewer
I ain't buying it.
John Holmberg
No, my new thing is they're screwing it up on purpose. That's the big flag. We watch and then they're. What really is going on?
Jim Brewer
It's the great magician. It is.
John Holmberg
We're arguing over the shoes. We're looking at the flowers over the camera.
Brady
What it is, what is it? More fentanyl to come over or what are they trying to get by?
John Holmberg
Your stories about your dad are legendary. Yeah. Can you imagine anyone kidnapping him? What a relief that would be to the family.
Brady
God.
Jim Brewer
Good luck when he drops a deuce in his pants.
John Holmberg
Tell you that right now. Nobody takes an 85 year old human being for a. They ruined my car. Let alone holds them ransom. It's going to be a nightmare.
Jim Brewer
Good luck.
John Holmberg
You could have taken my grandpa at 85. You have him.
Jim Brewer
I mean, it was the goofiest.
John Holmberg
Yeah. I don't buy it.
Jim Brewer
I. I don't buy it.
John Holmberg
I hate that it's happening to a family that is probably partially unaware.
Brady
You turned just cynical.
John Holmberg
Yes, but I don't think it's cynicism.
Brady
It's like, wait, there's something going on.
John Holmberg
You're taught it's cynicism. So you feel bad about questions.
Jim Brewer
Yeah, it does. Well, that game is over. Yeah, that game is over. And I think the public understands even, even whatever politics or this. Their game was always accusing you and attaching you something that would be lunatic. In other words, for instance, if you go, wait a minute, I'm not sure I'm buying these whole Muslims taking over planes flying. Oh, so you're saying. So what? You're telling the American troops right now. So would you talk to a, a mother whose son is sacrificing his life right now, getting shot out?
John Holmberg
Is that. And you're like, whoa, dude, I have a question.
Jim Brewer
I just have a question. It's a little wacky, your story, that's all.
John Holmberg
It's 1 to 10. Yeah.
Brady
There's no in between.
John Holmberg
Do you have anything that in your brain you're like, I'm not sure, but this thing might be something that you don't talk about because you think it might make you crazy. Because I have gone full Alex Joe. I don't believe anything I see anymore.
Jim Brewer
I don't either.
John Holmberg
And I don't like it. I want to believe.
Jim Brewer
All right. I do have some wax.
John Holmberg
Give me one. All right, we're gonna. I want to take a break. And then we're gonna do it. Jim Brewer is at celebrity theater tonight. Celebritytheater.com is without question the best night of comedy you're gonna have is brilliant forever. One of my favorite people. Always. He's getting ready. It's almost like Tyson about to walk into the ring for the Rocky music. Damn. I'm a little nervous, but I can't wait. Now Jim's teasing. Go see celebritytheater.com. you can check it out. Your website probably selling tickets as well.
Jim Brewer
Jimbrew.com is the safest.
John Holmberg
Okay. That's the best way. Yeah. All the rest of them will steal you prices. Oh my God. Did you hear? We're giving away the Metallica sphere. They announced it.
Jim Brewer
Did they announce it?
John Holmberg
This morning it got announced.
Jim Brewer
You know how hard it was not to blurt that out of my mouth knowing that was coming?
John Holmberg
One month I've known that.
Jim Brewer
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And I haven't been able to think about it. Yeah. And everybody said, we'll sue you. And I'm like, did you hear about. No, I don't know anything about Metallica Sphere. What do you say? You gotta go.
Brady
What?
John Holmberg
Jim Brewer's here. We'll chat with him some more next. Morning sickness 98. Can you PD Holmberg's morning sickness. Damn it.
Brett Vesely
Damn it.
John Holmberg
We can't play another song? Play another song. Oh, man. I can't have Mickey involved. Anyway.
Brett Vesely
Watch this.
John Holmberg
He's unbelievable.
Jim Brewer
Dirty little mouse.
John Holmberg
He is a dirty mouse. Jim Brewer's here. He's at Celebrity Theater tonight. And by the way, the 10 o' clock word for the Metallica contest is Unforgiven. Are you going to go see that?
Jim Brewer
I'm seeing them in Dublin.
John Holmberg
You're going to see him in Dublin.
Jim Brewer
I'm going to Dublin in June.
John Holmberg
I got a sphere up there in
Jim Brewer
Dublin that's going to be a great time. Of what they play Creeping Death. I haven't heard that thing live since that long.
Brady
Is that the dome there?
Jim Brewer
No, there's no dome. It's a football field.
John Holmberg
We don't need it. We got clouds, we got alcohol. We'll make our own sphere.
Jim Brewer
We go down, we sing all great songs to kill Liverpool.
John Holmberg
They just start singing soccer songs in
Brett Vesely
the middle of one
Jim Brewer
through the English.
Brady
You got to buy a Metallica scarf too. I bet you they'll sell those.
John Holmberg
What the hell is this they're doing Play whiskey in the jar again. The hell are you doing? You're making. You're making a mockery at this entire event. Even wants to hear it. No more of this one. It's depressing.
Jim Brewer
Don't feel good knowing such w. We
John Holmberg
didn't go to war with them. Yeah, we don't understand this.
Jim Brewer
Whiskey in the jar. Let's do it.
John Holmberg
Go. Three, two, one. Come on. Give me, give me fire. Yeah, yeah, give me. Yeah, fuel the fire.
Jim Brewer
Let's do fire. Do stuff like that.
John Holmberg
I don't care about your American wars with them. They do your thing for home.
Jim Brewer
The bell to you haven't seen nothing. The Vikings came in. They took our children and women. It's been happening for centuries. That's why we see no invading us.
John Holmberg
Why are you seeing him in Dublin? I mean, it's a great thing, but I mean just cuz you're there and they're the same time.
Jim Brewer
So I found a new. I found a new friend where I live in Florida.
Brady
Good for you.
Jim Brewer
And he likes juice. Piece of Metallica. And we said, let's start. Let's go see them.
John Holmberg
Oh, so you're making a trip out of it? Yeah. Oh, okay.
Jim Brewer
Yeah. And then, you know, the chick's like, wait a minute.
John Holmberg
You're not going along? Like, you know we are. We don't want you going.
Jim Brewer
You want to come with us?
John Holmberg
I mean, you can come Friday night. We'll go to a pub and we're
Jim Brewer
going to see the concert Saturday.
John Holmberg
Going to Pub 2 first class. Metallica.
Jim Brewer
Yeah.
John Holmberg
You get two free tickets.
Brady
That's right.
John Holmberg
It's awesome.
Jim Brewer
I got tickets now.
John Holmberg
Yeah, it'll be. That'll be awesome. But Sphere in Vegas has something too. Have you been in there yet?
Jim Brewer
I have been in there, yeah.
John Holmberg
Who you see, I saw the Eagles and that's boring. Well, I mean, they're boring. The show's probably amazing.
Jim Brewer
The show is un.
John Holmberg
Believe.
Jim Brewer
Put it this way, way too much money. I spent way too much money. Unfortunately. Dropping. I'm dropping. We went with a group and they're like, oh, you got to see the Eagles. So we go there. Take us to like 800, 800 a piece.
John Holmberg
Like, oh my God, I'm.
Jim Brewer
I'm 15, 16 the hole before I show up. And of course when you show up, the, the. The hotels are.
John Holmberg
Eagles are here.
Jim Brewer
If you came here on Thursday, it was $110 special. But.
John Holmberg
But you're here. The Eagles is another $850. Oh my God. I'm like four grand in the hole.
Jim Brewer
They come Out. I'm blown away by the spear.
John Holmberg
Oh, it's amazing.
Jim Brewer
So it's unbelievable. And at what level were you on section 300?
John Holmberg
I was 400 right in the middle. Perfect. Right.
Jim Brewer
So as they come out, they come out of the gate. Now I'm a little heated from the amount of money I spent already. You know, I went to the. Every chef out there. It's $200 for a piece of chicken. It's the tattoo midget Indian morocc. You know, Hindu and Muslim at the same time.
John Holmberg
Chef.
Jim Brewer
That you've seen on television. So therefore, he's allowed to charge you
John Holmberg
$300 for some chicken.
Brady
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
All right.
John Holmberg
Swear.
Jim Brewer
It's like everyone's a star. Dude, you're making chicken and a burger. Relax.
John Holmberg
Oh, you're talking about Guy Fieri. Drives me nuts. I know. He's the one that gets any of them. Yeah.
Jim Brewer
Anyway. So anyway, the power of telling television.
John Holmberg
It's amazing.
Jim Brewer
So with that said, we're sitting there and they come out of the gate with Hotel California. I'm not gonna lie to. There's part of me going.
John Holmberg
The open.
Jim Brewer
That's a closer. Dude. That's what I said.
John Holmberg
I said that this morning.
Brady
They've been doing that same.
John Holmberg
Yeah. They're running that list the whole time.
Jim Brewer
I said, I don't know how it's gonna go from here. Tell you that now I'm pissed about my money. And my wife's like, just relax. I did finally relax.
John Holmberg
It.
Jim Brewer
I gotta tell you, when you can't hide and you're lying and the lyrics are coming down like you're on Mushroom
Brady
Ra, it's raining lyrics.
Jim Brewer
It wasn't like, oh, my God, it looks amazing. Then Joe Walsh is like,
John Holmberg
It's amazing.
Jim Brewer
And he sounds amazing.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
And then the last song was great. And this. I'll never forget this moment they're doing. It's gonna be a heartache tonight. And I'm like, you know what? Screw the money we paid. This is worth it. I turn around, my wife's out.
John Holmberg
She's asleep.
Jim Brewer
How people are standing. The loudest song and she's out.
John Holmberg
There was that chicken.
Jim Brewer
It got her and she didn't nod off. She was out for songs, cuz she. When you was leaning, she's drooling.
John Holmberg
When you got back to the aria and laid in bed, did you say, what did Jesus teach you today?
Jim Brewer
She take a nap?
Brady
I was meditating.
John Holmberg
You're sleepy and you wasted money. That's awesome.
Brady
It's on the bubble. The. The money that spent on that particular show worth it?
John Holmberg
It's on the.
Jim Brewer
It's wor.
John Holmberg
It's good.
Jim Brewer
It was worth it.
John Holmberg
I just looked at the clock. We're. We're doing somebody else's show now. Who cares? Jim Brew, you're the best. No. Are you sorry? I'll still go. I don't care. I, I, I don't want to waste your day. What are you up to while you're here? You doing anything special? Well, other than the show, I have family here in the car. They're sitting up in the.
Jim Brewer
No, no, no. I have family in town.
John Holmberg
Oh, okay.
Jim Brewer
I have a group of Die Hard fans. This, this was a little. Threw me back. They fly in from different states and they form, they, like, form their own little crew.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
And they're.
John Holmberg
They're here in Arizona, so I'm going
Jim Brewer
to try to hook up with them later. Say hello.
John Holmberg
Like a little brewer cult that follows happy hour to God.
Jim Brewer
They come in here, they go into Clearwater, Florida.
John Holmberg
The Grateful Brewer. Yes. I love it.
Jim Brewer
It's.
John Holmberg
And are they normal?
Jim Brewer
They're super normal.
John Holmberg
Okay. Are you sure?
Jim Brewer
No, no, they're. And it goes all different genes.
John Holmberg
There's one of them you worry about.
Jim Brewer
There's always one. There's one. You're like, you never let me guard down. 100.
John Holmberg
The one with the eye looking at me and looking for me.
Jim Brewer
Is this one an informant. Does this one work with the most?
John Holmberg
It's always the one in the group that wants to help you most. Hey, man, if you need me to do protection for you, I'm like, we're at Applebee's.
Jim Brewer
We're good.
Brett Vesely
I don't need that.
John Holmberg
Yeah, we're good. I'm here for you, bro. Like, he wants to kill someone in my name, and I'm just say, there's always a guy, but, yeah, it's good. Well, it's good. You got that. That's. How many of them are there in your cult?
Jim Brewer
Altogether, there's probably about 20, but I think there's about eight to 10 that flew here.
John Holmberg
No kidding. And who's that guy?
Jim Brewer
Kyle. Kyle's my. He filmed.
John Holmberg
He's digital. Kyle.
Jim Brewer
Digital Kyle. He's part of the digital team.
John Holmberg
Okay.
Jim Brewer
Which I got to tell you, at our stage, you need Kyle's. Yeah.
John Holmberg
Yeah. I don't get it.
Jim Brewer
He's 90, and the whole bus now is like, kyle, how do I post this? But I put music on it.
John Holmberg
Kyle, do you think everybody's stupid? It kind of makes it like, if you feel like a genius, doesn't it? Because everybody leans on you.
Jim Brewer
Not stupid, but a little.
John Holmberg
A little behind.
Jim Brewer
That's.
John Holmberg
That's called stupid. Kyle, thanks for. Thanks for cushioning that blow.
Jim Brewer
So Kyle's part of a digital team. And. And I finally, they said, hey, we like, you do your podcast and your live streams with us, and we want to take over your socials. And I said, dude, these kids, that's crazy. I'm not a businessman. I'm going to assume you guys aren't either. Yeah, they take out computers. Like, okay, so your demographic, mostly Facebook,
John Holmberg
which is really phenomenal.
Jim Brewer
But the consumer thing, you want to get on YouTube.
John Holmberg
So your YouTube numbers are right here.
Jim Brewer
120. We're going to get you to probably three quarters of a million, hopefully by,
John Holmberg
we'll say this time next year.
Jim Brewer
And like, what? And they did it.
John Holmberg
They did it. Yeah. Crazy. It's just. It's just have to hear the word low key every other sentence. And know what?
Brady
Kyle first came in. He's 19. He's. Every place you're going for him is just, wow, those mountains are real.
John Holmberg
Yes.
Jim Brewer
That's what I. And I get to teach him. We live and we like. Kyle, you don't want to talk to that one.
John Holmberg
He's got wild eyes. Kyle, you don't want to talk to that one. Kyle, come with me. Come with me. Don't make me tighten this leash. So Kyle is. Kyle is nuts about terra firma and. But digitally, he knows everything.
Jim Brewer
Yes, but he's.
John Holmberg
You're literally the touch grass kid. Like, you've got to get out and see this world without looking at it through that little screen. He.
Jim Brewer
He even said, we st. We were in Dallas. I said, how was your day? He goes, oh, it's real good beef. So I went to the area where the Shaq Kennedy, and I don't know, it don't look right solving Kennedy's gonna make the shot. I don't know how they did that shot. I'm just saying I'm not one that's that tight, but, bro, he probably filmed
John Holmberg
it from the angles. Wait a minute.
Jim Brewer
You ready for this? Before we left. And here's what's amazing about. As you see, he's a good kid, right?
John Holmberg
Yeah, sure.
Jim Brewer
And. And they're all like this. Yeah, they're all like this human being. So.
John Holmberg
Yeah, wait a minute. There's like.
Jim Brewer
There's like six of them all back. Back in Florida. So they said, Kyle, God, this sounds
John Holmberg
an awful lot like a file I read. Whole bunch of teenagers back in Florida waiting on Me.
Jim Brewer
So as we leave, we're ready to go. I'm like, kyle, do you have everything you need? I go, yeah, you got anything special bringing around? He goes, yeah, I'm bringing my. My bear, my teddy bear. I said, oh, did you just say that on live stream?
John Holmberg
You didn't just put that out there, right?
Jim Brewer
I said, who gave you the teddy teddy bear?
John Holmberg
Like a girlfriend?
Jim Brewer
He goes, no, my boss. And you got to know his boss, the kid, he dresses like Freddie Mercury. He's got, he's got the mustache, teeth, he wears sunglasses at night.
Brady
Hey, baby.
Jim Brewer
Yeah. Like, you know, we hit a half a million listeners and we're making income. And I'm like, this kid's wearing tight shorts now. He's sunglasses. He's dressed like Freddie Mercury, and he's given Kyle teddy bears.
John Holmberg
I don't like this at all.
Jim Brewer
Well, now everywhere we go, and of course, when it happened, there were women in the room. My wife was there. She's like, thank you.
John Holmberg
Praise Jesus.
Jim Brewer
Let's pray for the teddy bear. And all the women like, oh, that's so cute. Now I wanted to go a whole different route.
John Holmberg
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
But all the women were there. I'm like, okay, we'll get you. Well, now everyone shows up at venues and they go to Kyle and they're giving him stuffed animals.
John Holmberg
He gets emotional support stuff.
Jim Brewer
Yes.
John Holmberg
Oh my God, it's unbelievable. Well, that's pretty. Well, Kyle's making it. He's making it happen then.
Jim Brewer
Can you imagine 19, single male with a teddy bear.
John Holmberg
Yes.
Jim Brewer
With like this.
Brady
Really?
Jim Brewer
Right. You better watch. You know who's going to come for you, Kyle? The, the, the, the, like the 40 and overs.
John Holmberg
Oh, cougars always nodding for that.
Jim Brewer
Yeah, you like, you like the mothers of three.
John Holmberg
Oh, golly, you Ollie. That was. Would be nice.
Jim Brewer
Last night we started was the first night was like me, him and my opener, Brian McKenna. We're like, I go, Brian McKenna, let's, let's blast some music. And the bus Left at like 1am so it's 10pm and just us three are on there. We're gonna. Okay. And we're, we're having some fun. We're catching little buzzes. Brian, what do you got going? He goes, you know, I love. I, I grew up Eminem. And he's explaining why he loves Eminem. I said, oh, so Eminem's your Metallica? He's like, yeah, listen, this what he's saying here. All right, all right, all right. I, I play my. I go, kyle, what do you got? He, what was the Nardis. That's not even a word by Bill Evans.
John Holmberg
It's Bill Evans.
Jim Brewer
1930s.
John Holmberg
Boom, boom.
Jim Brewer
Like old jazz.
Brady
Pull it up.
Jim Brewer
And we're watching. And I'm watching Kyle, literally, he's. He's doing every slow instrument. I went, wow. This kid. This kid's like from.
John Holmberg
He's a time trial from another portal. This is.
Brady
This.
Jim Brewer
This is his jam.
John Holmberg
It's ancient stuff. It's like literally 40s music.
Jim Brewer
70s, 70s.
John Holmberg
But to him, damn, that's to us. That's the 40s.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
Jim Brewer
But yeah, this guy's. I'm like, I got me child got everything. And Kyle's like, this gets me going. This gets Kyle.
Brady
Do you know this song?
John Holmberg
No. I'm gonna ask a weird question here. You know, you're old enough to. You dry hump your teddy bear when this is going on. This seems very serial killer.
Brady
I'm tucking it between the legs in
John Holmberg
the well kind of music.
Jim Brewer
I see real ocean on this actually gave me a whole different.
John Holmberg
A perspective that he's. Yes.
Jim Brewer
Like he's very well grabbed. Like there's something special about him. Year old kid is pulling out.
John Holmberg
No, the scary ones. The scary ones. See, this is where my. This is where my cynicism kicks in. He's gonna kill someone.
Brady
Did you dissect animals growing up?
Jim Brewer
Good.
John Holmberg
If he does. And then later you can say, I knew him before he started murdering all those old ladies. Because the way he was nodding about 40 year olds.
Brady
No idea.
John Holmberg
He likes a woman who's like a, you know, a water slide at one of the fun parts. Just kids flying out of her like crazy. And you're gonna walk on the bus
Brady
one day and there's a frog splayed out.
John Holmberg
I did this for you, Jim. I did this for you. And he's filming it. So much beauty in the world. I just can't stand it. Anyway, Tim brewers here at Celebrity Theater all weekend long.
Jim Brewer
What do you got there?
John Holmberg
Oh, God. Oh. 1958 is where Nardis is. 1958 where it came from. Written by Miles Davis. Oh, Miles Davis. Your big Miles Davis. Crazy.
Jim Brewer
No good family.
John Holmberg
Yeah, it's great. Comes from a good stock. Allowed to go out on the road with you and see things.
Brady
Teddy.
John Holmberg
It's pretty awesome.
Jim Brewer
Got the.
John Holmberg
Keep the Teddy close, Teddy. Oh, that's crazy.
Jim Brewer
Now my opener has a freaking stuffed animal.
John Holmberg
Do you have one yet? Have you caved?
Jim Brewer
If I get one, it's gonna be for a whole different reason.
John Holmberg
I don't even know. He wants a real bear. Is it to shoot everybody through it. My wife's been gone for a while. Just saying this thing better.
Jim Brewer
I might go to Wow.
John Holmberg
I might go beyond. If they're still open.
Jim Brewer
Get a nice little fluffy pillow. Maybe a couple others.
John Holmberg
Make them watch. You're gonna a teddy bear. That's terrible. No, Teddy cucks. Teddy cucksman would be a good thing. Put that on your thing. Look that up later. Kyle Brewer. It's always good to see you. Jim Brewer, everybody. Celebrity theater tonight. Grab your ticket. Celebritytheater.com. you can check it out at Jim's website. Jim Brewer.com, i assume, Is that right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jim Brewer.com and get you your tickets and go have a great Wednesday. Right there. We're done. We'll see you guys tomorrow right here in the morning sickness. Bye. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.
Episode: 02-25-26 – FULL SHOW – WEDNESDAY
Original Air Date: February 25, 2026
Host: John Holmberg
Co-hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness unfolds the usual blend of irreverence, local humor, and listener interaction that defines the show. On this Wednesday, the big focus is the buildup to a “top five” giveaway in the show’s 25-year history—an exclusive Metallica Sphere Vegas experience—which John teases relentlessly before its 8am announcement.
In between, the team riffs on everything from failing radio execs, the fate of a former BBQ joint turned Indo-Middle Eastern restaurant, “dummy crimes,” a listener’s complaint about Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS), and airport/airline rants. Stand-up legend Jim Breuer also joins for a candid, hilarious interview, discussing everything from his airline ordeals to conspiracy culture.
The episode pulses with playful insults, sharp social commentary, and the HMS signature: pushing buttons, entertaining, and stirring the pot.
John lampoons radio executives and the arbitrary nature of radio awards:
“Anytime radio executives start saying that's a good show and it's me, I'm doing something wrong... Anytime radio executives get in a room and like that, Holmberg show is one of our favorites. So I go, 'Yikes, we gotta change everything...’ These idiots don't know what good radio is.” — John (06:57)
Big contest tease: John repeatedly directs listeners to get as many people as possible on the KUPD app for a unique, “1% of the 1%” prize, hinting at an experience most are priced out of.
Memorable moment: Team running through absurd, fake contest guesses: “Is it a Brady striptease? That’s something you can’t sell... without price, that is.”
(12:31)
Extended riff about the now-defunct Porkopolis BBQ being replaced by a South Asian/Middle Eastern eatery, laced with over-the-top, culturally insensitive jokes about food, signage, and supposed “bomb-making” (satirical and intentionally provocative).
John: “There’s too many K’s and H’s in it... There’s always an H, there’s probably a G or an L next to it. Doesn’t make any sense... K’s and H’s next to each other? I’m out.” (16:17)
Digs at generational changes in the strip mall: “Everything in that center has changed into some Indian bazaar.” (15:24)
The discussion shifts to a recent incident where a guy ran onto the Sky Harbor runway.
John opines that some crimes should bring automatic life sentences, arguing for less societal patience for outliers:
“Dummy crimes are a life sentence. That’s a dummy crime. Get climbing around airport runways: immediately, it’s like, you’re arrested and you face a life sentence.” (31:54)
Old-man-yells-at-cloud moment as John blames the NBA for the decline of “accountability” in society, especially with the “hostile act” rules and women referees.
The team ruthlessly lampoons an emailer named Rachel who blames RLS for her weight gain and failed relationships.
John’s take: “Restless Leg Syndrome is not real. Never have I seen... one of those hungry people in Africa telling a missionary, ‘my legs just dance all night!’ Only Americans have restless leg syndrome.” (51:00–51:19)
A cascade of listener emails follow, some supportive, others piling on, and the team further roasts Rachel, riffing on her weight, eating habits, and “made-up diseases.”
Notable, harsh quote:
“You’re annoying. That’s why you’ve lost relationships. Any guy will tolerate restless legs if you’re good looking and you’re nice. You’re sleepy and you’re fat. I’m going to just call it as I see it.” — John (54:26)
Memorable moment: Rico Blaze, the HMS’ parody “loverman,” offers to “butter the door” for Rachel and “get your fat restless ass over here, girl.” (61:50–64:30)
After hours of teasing, at 8:10am John announces the massive giveaway:
A trip for two to see Metallica at the Sphere in Las Vegas for two shows, hotel paid, and $200 for travel.
Emphasis on exclusivity (“top five prize in show history”), how hard Sphere tickets are to get, and appreciation to Q Prime/Metallica for making it possible for KUPD listeners.
Listeners are told to spread contest codes to their friends and get as many entries as possible each hour via the app/website.
Memorable quote:
“Master—so you can get on your text thread with all those people you’ve asked to download the app or get on the website and put ‘Master’ in for the 8am word. This is pretty great…” (102:45)
Breuer shares his blow-up with American Airlines:
“Can you imagine buying the Lamborghini, then they wheel up a Honda Insight? ‘Same price, this is what you got.’” — Brewer (150:00)
Brewer reflects on his SNL days, Hollywood “clubs,” and his reputation as a comedic “Jose Canseco” (the first to call out the industry’s weirdness and corruption).
Conspiracy Chat:
Tour hijinks:
This is a swirling, chaotic episode of classic Holmberg: contest drama, hilarious local observations, and unfiltered guest antics—all wrapped in a morning radio show that refuses to be anything but wild, offensive, and honest.