02-26-25 - BR - WED - The Avg Given To Kids By The Tooth Fairy In Different Regions - Joann Fabrics Enters Bankruptcy Revealing That Toledo's Son Has Sewing Machines And Makes Clothes

Summary

Summary of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona" Episode Released on February 26, 2025

Podcast Information:

• Title: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
• Host/Author: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio
• Description: Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD is Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show. John Holmberg attempts to entertain, question, and disturb as many listeners as possible with assistance from Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo. Tune in or log onto 98KUPD (97.9fm, the 98KUPD app or www.98kupd.com) weekdays 5:30a-10a.
• Episode: 02-26-25 - BR - WED - The Avg Given To Kids By The Tooth Fairy In Different Regions - Joann Fabrics Enters Bankruptcy Revealing That Toledo's Son Has Sewing Machines And Makes Clothes
• Release Date: February 26, 2025

---

1. Charity Spotlight: Supporting Pets of Homeless Veterans

Timestamp: [00:33 - 03:49]

The episode begins with Brady Bogen highlighting a heartfelt community initiative aimed at assisting pets of homeless veterans. Brady shares, “You text the word vets to 97936. And a tip of the cap to our guy Fitz Madrid Fitzgerald. Well done. It's very nice of him to do that” (02:50). This segment underscores the importance of providing veterinary care to pets, ensuring that veterans facing homelessness do not lose the companionship of their beloved animals. Brady passionately encourages listeners to contribute, emphasizing the emotional bond between veterans and their pets.

2. Fun Facts Segment: Zombie Movies Galore

Timestamp: [03:49 - 05:46]

John Holmberg introduces a quirky segment filled with “baseless fun facts,” starting with, “At least 600 zombie movies have been released since 1920. And more than half of them have come out in the 21st century” (04:06). This leads to a humorous exchange where Brady misstates the number of zombie movies, mistakenly claiming “325 years” since 2000, prompting laughter and corrections from Dick Toledo and Brett Vesely. The playful banter highlights the hosts' chemistry and sets a lighthearted tone for the episode.

3. National Tooth Fairy Day: Regional Payouts Analyzed

Timestamp: [05:35 - 08:10]

John Holmberg transitions into discussing National Tooth Fairy Day, presenting findings from Delta Dental’s annual poll: “Kids in the south get $5.71 per tooth. Kids in the west get $5.69. Northeast $4.59 and the Midwest $3.46” (07:42). This segment delves into the varying amounts the Tooth Fairy leaves under pillows across different U.S. regions. The hosts engage in witty commentary, with Brady joking, “So there are still some parents out there chucking change under the pillow that screw that whole thing up” (07:52). They reminisce about past experiences and the evolution of this childhood tradition, blending humor with relatable anecdotes.

4. Joann Fabrics Bankruptcy and Toledo's Sewing Saga

Timestamp: [08:35 - 18:04]

A significant portion of the episode focuses on Joann Fabrics’ bankruptcy announcement. John Holmberg reports, “Joann Fabrics has been struggling in a major way and now they're throwing the towel in. It's the second time they've had to file for bankruptcy, and this time they're shutting down all the stores they've been in for 82 years” (09:38). The hosts discuss the broader implications of this closure on the local community and tie it to Dick Toledo’s personal anecdote about his son, who owns sewing machines and crafts clothing.

Dick Toledo elaborates, “He’s got one from his Grandmother” (14:53), highlighting his son's passion and skill in sewing, which becomes a humorous focal point of the conversation. The discussion evolves into playful teasing about the practicality and social perceptions of sewing, with Brady asserting, “Flared pants aren't gay. Selling them is super gay” (28:50), which sparks laughter and light-hearted debates among the hosts.

5. Custody Challenges: The Story of Jason Kilbourne and Caroline

Timestamp: [12:38 - 13:56]

John Holmberg shares an emotional narrative about Jason Kilbourne from Omaha, who is struggling to secure proper documentation for his daughter Caroline. The daughter was born in November 2022, but due to issues related to the mother’s struggles with drugs, Jason has full custody. The official documents list an unconventional name, “Unikite 13 Hotel,” complicating efforts to obtain a Social Security card and a legitimate birth certificate. Brady empathizes with, “Can't get health care without a birth certificate and a Social Security number” (13:24), highlighting systemic challenges faced by single parents in similar situations.

6. User-Submitted Videos: A Dive into the Bizarre and Hilarious

Timestamp: [17:29 - 30:43]

The hosts transition to reviewing and humorously critiquing user-submitted videos:

• Bathroom Disaster: Brady describes a video where a woman experiences a catastrophic bathroom malfunction, humorously reacting, “It was just poop” (18:41).

• Road Rage Incident: John refers to a video showing a heated exchange between drivers escalating to gunwave, with Brady commenting, “That is not tact” (19:07).

• Animal Abuse Turned Justice: A video depicts a donkey retaliating against abuse, leading to comedic interpretations from the hosts, such as Brady claiming, “Keep going, Donkey. I had to kill a man today, Shrek” (20:49).

• Sexual Antics Gone Wrong: The hosts playfully dissect a video showing unconventional sexual behavior, with Brett adding, “This is animal abuse” (20:21).

• Explosive Car Accident: Brady humorously speculates on a red fluid ejecting from a car collision, questioning its origin and nature (24:43).

• Unexpected Musical Performances: The hosts laugh over a video of an acoustic guitar performance intertwined with intimate actions, with Brett quipping, “He's playing rawhide” (21:52).

These segments showcase the hosts' ability to entertain and engage listeners with a mix of humor, shock, and candid reactions to unconventional content.

7. Social Commentary and Humor: The Sewing Machine Debate

Timestamp: [10:16 - 29:03]

The conversation about Dick Toledo’s son’s sewing prowess evolves into a broader, humorous debate about sewing in modern times. Brady muses, “I prefer my pants and clothes. Me, made by flaming homosexual. They’re the best at it” (28:48), injecting humor into discussions about gender roles and stereotypes in craftsmanship.

The hosts explore themes of authenticity and cultural integrity, particularly when discussing culinary experiences. Brady shares his preference for authentic ethnic cuisine, stating, “I want authentic Japanese sushi cutters... I like my Mexican food made by Mexicans” (29:43), reflecting on cultural authenticity with a comedic twist.

8. Closing Thoughts and Final Banter

Timestamp: [30:43 - End]

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts continue their signature banter, blending humor with light-hearted teasing. Brady wraps up with a mix of jokes about the episode’s highlights and playful jabs at each other’s comments, saying, “That's your Brady Report. It's 98 KUPD” (31:58). Dick Toledo and Brett Vesely contribute to the final laughs, ensuring that listeners are left with a memorable and engaging conclusion to the morning show.

---

Notable Quotes:

• Brady Bogen: “You can text the word vets to 97936. And a tip of the cap to our guy Fitz Madrid Fitzgerald. Well done. It's very nice of him to do that.” (02:50)

• John Holmberg: “At least 600 zombie movies have been released since 1920. And more than half of them have come out in the 21st century.” (04:06)

• Brady Bogen: “So there are still some parents out there chucking change under the pillow that screw that whole thing up.” (07:52)

• John Holmberg: “Joann Fabrics has been struggling in a major way and now they're throwing the towel in. It's the second time they've had to file for bankruptcy, and this time they're shutting down all the stores they've been in for 82 years.” (09:38)

• Brady Bogen: “Flared pants aren't gay. Selling them is super gay.” (28:50)

• Dick Toledo: “He's got one from his Grandmother.” (14:53)

• Brady Bogen: “I want authentic Japanese sushi cutters. I don't want to walk in there and hear Odile.” (29:47)

Conclusion:

This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona" delivers a rich blend of community-focused initiatives, humorous segments, and engaging discussions on current events. The hosts effectively balance informative content with their trademark humor, making the show both entertaining and insightful for listeners. From highlighting charitable efforts to dissecting quirky fun facts and responding to bizarre user-submitted videos, the episode encapsulates the vibrant and dynamic spirit of Arizona’s #1 Morning Radio Show.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[Brady]

Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. It's the goat day. We're trying to work. We're doing the best we can to get you through this black cloud of an afternoon or morning, I guess. I don't know. I can't. I don't even know what time it is. Before we go on with the Brady Report, I do want to tell everybody about what's going on. Fitz sent me this yesterday. He's doing a great thing and it tickles my heart. It's live right now. Our text line, of course, you guys know if you don't, it's 97936. You can text the word vets V, E, T S. You text the word vets and you can help out pets and homeless vets. We all see the people, and homeless people are the dog. And some veterans that have it helps provide veterinary care for the pets of homeless veterans at the Maricopa Stand down. So they're getting help. They're not on their feet. They've got their beloved pet, which we can all relate to. You got your dog and you know, they have hit hard times and you certainly don't want to, you know, leave the last connection you have with love. You can't just give those away. And the dog doesn't want to give her. There's a guy yesterday got in trouble because he swiped a homeless guy's dog off the streets and wouldn't give it back. And they arrested the guy who took it. And rightfully so. As much as it pains me to see a homeless dog, that homeless dog knows only that situation. He doesn't know that there's a better life. This is his life. And he might love that guy that you think is. Sometimes I see it and I'm like, oh, I want to swipe that dog up. And I'm like that dog's in love with that guy. Dogs. Dogs don't care. They just want to be treated well and fed and everything else. And if they're not, hopefully that person will do it. Anyway, Fitz is doing this deal. It's pretty great. And they're basically trying to raise 4,000 total dollars. I'll kick in right now my own self because I think what he's doing is really nice. So 20 years of giving there. Fitz has got his whole thing going on. This is a pretty good one. Pets and homeless vets. You text the word vets to 97936. And a tip of the cap to our guy Fitz Madrid Fitzgerald. Well done. It's very nice of him to do that. So he says. He said. Also, any business that kicks in on this thing is going to get a bunch of free praise for putting their money where their mouth is. He'll be happy to help out local businesses. Want a little push on the air. That's great. Well, maybe he'll give this local business called Homework's Morning Sickness extra push after I drop a bomb on him today. We'll get him up there. That's really cool. That's a really cool thing. And you know what? I do a lot of dog work. I am human of the year of all time this weekend for the Arizona Pet Project Hero Awards and still have not even come close to scratching the surface on how many different angles there are to charities that help out. And the vets and the pets is a big one. So kudos to our boy Fitz for putting that together. Nice job, kid. Happy to have you. And cool new logo for Fitz, too. He had that drawn up. He's got his little saw that. He's got his little drawing of himself. It's kind of neat. Proud of you. Nice job, Fitz. So get on it. 97936 vets. And while Brady starts babbling away with the fun facts, I'll be donating and listening passively. Brady. So don't do anything crazy. It is the Brady Report. Brady reporter.

[John Holmberg]

Good Wednesday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[Brady]

Hi.

[John Holmberg]

Happy letter to an Elder Day Tell a Fairy Tale Day. And Black Lives Matter Day and Diana Taurasi Day.

[Brett]

That's the important one.

[Brady]

That's a tough one.

[John Holmberg]

Here are your baseless fun facts. At least 600 zombie movies have been released since 1920. And more than half of them have come out in the 21st century.

[Dick Toledo]

325 years.

[Brady]

Is that right? Since 2000. Did I just hear that? Oh, boy. You all right?

[John Holmberg]

Let me say it again.

[Brady]

Okay, that's what we're trying to figure out. Don't.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know where I got 325 years. So.

[Dick Toledo]

He didn't say 300 last 25 years.

[John Holmberg]

325 years. I'm like, what?

[Brady]

What? I said three. And that's what I said. There's been 300 since 2000. And you stared at me.

[Brett]

That's like Netflix betrayal face over there, man.

[Brady]

You saw it.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, is what you did.

[Brady]

So he was right. There's been 300.

[John Holmberg]

I thought he said 325 years, man.

[Brady]

He wouldn't say that.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's misheard what you said, Right?

[Brady]

Should have worked around that. Come on. I'm donating out of this one.

[Dick Toledo]

You can't do this when.

[Brady]

Yeah, I'm passively to donate.

[Dick Toledo]

Donate after.

[Brady]

I can't. Top of mind.

[Dick Toledo]

You're gonna miss key.

[Brady]

It's top of mind, right Now.

[Dick Toledo]

I know how that goes with ADD.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Louis CK, Matt LeBlanc and Joe Rogan were all same high school graduating Class. Class of 1985, Newton North High School in Newton, Massachusetts. Twelve years later, John Krasinski and BJ Novak were both graduating 1997, Newton South High School.

[Brady]

Yeah, actually, I knew they went to school together, which is really weird in the office because it just is a thing.

[John Holmberg]

The Jetsons.

[Dick Toledo]

Real quick, everybody that's texting vet.

[Brady]

Add an S. Yeah, add an S to it.

[Dick Toledo]

Add an S, vets, V, E, T, S, and you'll get the info that John was talking about.

[Brady]

There you go.

[John Holmberg]

In the Jetsons, George is 40 years old, Jane is 33.

[Brady]

Oh, boy.

[John Holmberg]

And their daughter Judy is 16.

[Dick Toledo]

17 year old. Way to go, George.

[Brady]

Wait a minute.

[John Holmberg]

George was 23 or 24. And Jane was either 16 or 17 when she conceived.

[Brady]

Nice, Judy.

[Dick Toledo]

16 at conception. You're right, Brady.

[Brady]

Nice.

[Dick Toledo]

Kill kid Benny Mardonis of the future.

[Brett]

Oh, kidding.

[John Holmberg]

Friday's National Tooth Fairy Day. And the Dental Delta Dental's annual poll found the average payout per tooth fell 14% since last year. The average tooth is now $5 and $0.01 down from throwing a 584 a year ago.

[Brady]

Throwing a Lincoln on a kid's tooth.

[Dick Toledo]

Ex wife blew that curve out of the water.

[Brady]

What does that mean?

[Dick Toledo]

She threw it? Well, when she had money, she threw a.

[Brady]

She was laundering through the tooth.

[Dick Toledo]

Come on now.

[Brady]

There's a reason she went to the who's gal. And that's because whenever, every time Alex lost a tooth, he got $300,000 in escrow.

[Dick Toledo]

That's where it started. His expectations.

[Brady]

They're gonna move some escrow cash around here. They just stuff it under the boy's pillow. She wasn't giving him money for a tooth. She was hiding it from the feds. And he found it. Tooth Fairy gave me 250 grand in escrow. What does that mean? Oh, Christ. He found the papers.

[Dick Toledo]

Why does it have a purple pen mark on it?

[Brady]

You're not supposed to see that, young man.

[John Holmberg]

Kids in the south break it down in the US kids in the south get $5.71 per tooth. Kids in the west get 569. Northeast 459 and the Midwest get $3.46.

[Brady]

Per tooth on average.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So there are still some parents out there chucking change under the pillow that screw that whole thing up. Hey, parents. I think we can all agree. Paper money only now.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, no. You have a change jar?

[Brady]

Yeah, that's.

[Dick Toledo]

Grab some of it. Throw it under the pillow.

[Brady]

Crap.

[John Holmberg]

When the poll launched, when they first started doing the poll in 1998, the average is $1.30 per tooth.

[Brady]

Scott Haynes says, I feel bad for Matthia, considering Netflix. Betrayal is now a thing because now that Brett knows about it, it's going to be hard for them to watch shows at the same time. At least for her, because she's got to hold that stake up against one eye. Very true.

[John Holmberg]

The Richmond Hill High School soccer booster president has been arrested for. For misusing funds on Only Fans. Yeah, they're raising money for the boys soccer high school team. Here she is.

[Brady]

Soccer high school team.

[John Holmberg]

Here she is. There's the Only Fans. I can only imagine.

[Brady]

Oh, my goodness. She was misusing it. All right. Yeah, she's got a very Steve Nash haircut, only more manly.

[Brett]

Very appropriate on Taurosi.

[Brady]

It's Terraci day. We can't go busting them on Tirosa Day. Give people that give women with bi level 1988 haircuts a break. Today they're going to do some dumb stuff. They're not in their right minds. Their king is gone. Tarasi has stepped away. They're not about themselves today. We a lot of lady with those weird shaved side haircuts. When you're on 7th Avenue somewhere around Indian school, keep your eyes open. One might wander off into traffic. They don't have their wits about them.

[John Holmberg]

Joann Fabrics has been struggling in a major way and now they're throwing the towel in. It's the second time they've had to file for bankruptcy, and this time they're shutting down all the stores been in years for. Been in business for 82 years.

[Brady]

Internet.

[John Holmberg]

Well, not.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's unclear how long the remaining stores will open, but.

[Brady]

And broads don't sew anymore.

[Dick Toledo]

You know who sews? My son.

[Brady]

Your son sews?

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, yeah, he's.

[Brady]

You shouldn't have said that out.

[Dick Toledo]

One of his. One of his gifts was a sewing machine.

[Brady]

Did you ever see the curb your enthusiasm when Larry was friends with that lady and he had a son who was obviously gay, but no one was admitting it and Larry was the only one admitted he was gay. So we bought him a sewing machine for his birthday and he went crazy. He loved it.

[John Holmberg]

Went nuts.

[Brady]

Why would you buy him that? Larry, he's gay. I was clearly gay. He loves it.

[John Holmberg]

Why am I the bad guy?

[Dick Toledo]

I've not seen that, but it is. I've seen some of the pussies slaying.

[Brady]

So the son.

[Dick Toledo]

He's not just has what you have? Well, just the girls that he shows me on his. On his phone.

[Brady]

Most gay kids show their dad pictures.

[Dick Toledo]

Is that what you did?

[Brady]

That's what my dad used to. No, I didn't tell him about. Real straight ones don't talk to their dads about it. The ones trying to convince a lot of fun. Check out this bra. This hot honey says she lives in Abilene. Oh, yeah, there's something. Something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] Holmberg's Morning Sickness. I hope you're right, but that sewing machine in this house is not necessarily a magnet for frauds.

[John Holmberg]

Well, this would be a good time to.

[Dick Toledo]

Fashion design isn't really fashion designs might.

[Brady]

Get him interested, but they're going to be safe with him is what I'm saying. Go.

[John Holmberg]

Well, this would be a good time for him in the next year to score some discounted deep discounts at Joanne.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, they're not going immediately, by the way.

[John Holmberg]

So over a period of.

[Brady]

Was the other.

[John Holmberg]

They're saying not how. They didn't say how long it's going to take to close all 800 locations.

[Brady]

Everything must go. We should give. We can get him a gift card. There you go.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, God.

[Brady]

His birthday just passed, right? Yeah. Yeah, we give him a gift card belated Joanne.

[Brett]

He got rent for his birthday.

[Brady]

Come on. Yeah, he didn't sell his sewing machine.

[Dick Toledo]

March and April and May.

[Brady]

Does he sew?

[Dick Toledo]

Yes.

[Brady]

Is that hard as a dad to see? Actually, would you rather watch him making pants or like having a guy inside?

[Dick Toledo]

I've actually witnessed the activity, I've only seen it set up in his room.

[Brady]

What would you rather walk in on?

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, God.

[Brady]

Oh, here we go. Him sewing wildly. Just going to say, I don't know.

[Dick Toledo]

Whatever the next question is, sewing is the answer.

[Brady]

Even as a dad, I think maybe my dad sees me sewing like. Ah, the tears.

[John Holmberg]

This dude from Omaha named Jason Kilbourne is struggling to sort out the paperwork for his daughter Caroline, who was born in November of 2022.

[Brady]

Saw this last night. Wild.

[John Holmberg]

Jason and Caroline's mother dated on and off over the years, but are no longer together. Jason has full custody because it sounds like the mothers had issues. Struggle with drugs. There's a problem. Caroline was born in a house and only received a certificate of live birth, an unofficial document that hospitals submit to start the process of generating government issued birth certificates. The process never happened. Jason is struggling to get a Social Security card and a usable birth certificate for Caroline so he can get services for her.

[Brady]

Can't get health care without a birth certificate and a Social Security number. I didn't know that.

[John Holmberg]

On top of that, the certificate of the live birth listed is a bizarre name for the girl. Unikite 13 Hotel is the name.

[Brady]

So he has to. Instead of petitioning, he has to go now to the board and try to get his daughter's name changed to Unikite 13 Hotel because it would be easier to get health care if they just acknowledge that's her name than try to change everything.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And they were told. He was told this was a computer generated name.

[Brady]

Yeah, I made this baby's name for him. So it's like when they say, do you want to use your password or this? It chose this. By the way, Jennifer downstairs just text me and said, hey, tell Toledo I need some pants hemmed. Can his son help? So maybe to get the ladies ladies downstairs to drop off some.

[Brett]

Hey, you pay the rent a little bit easier, you know, side hustle some.

[Brady]

Don some socks and stuff.

[Dick Toledo]

I know what the going rate for tailoring is, but I'm sure he does. Hey, hey.

[Brady]

Yeah, I'm sure.

[Dick Toledo]

Like where your mind's head.

[Brady]

Well, no, he's not wrong. Why is that bad? The boy wants to sew some of our sales ladies pants and hem him up with his kick ass sewing machine down there in Tucson, between gummy bears and hot Internet broads he's banging. He'll hem your pants. This story gets better every time you open your mouth. He's got a sewing machine.

[Dick Toledo]

He's got two, actually.

[John Holmberg]

What?

[Brady]

Whoa.

[Dick Toledo]

Got one from his Grandmother.

[John Holmberg]

Both singer. The only one. Only company.

[Dick Toledo]

There's no reason to bring one's brother.

[Brady]

It's a typewriter, actually.

[Dick Toledo]

No, it's a sewing machine.

[Brady]

Either way.

[Brett]

Just passed the straight test right there. So.

[Brady]

I thought brother was a typewriter. Either way. And he's not even, like, trained. He's just. He's just dabbling in sewing. He's dabbling.

[Dick Toledo]

He's trained by YouTube and every other social media influencer he's seen.

[Brady]

He goes on di.

[John Holmberg]

He could make some. Some side money.

[Brady]

Oh, he could gulp tons of side money. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Doing some tailoring.

[Brady]

Oh, you mean sewing. Yeah, I thought he could make side money.

[Dick Toledo]

Please finish your thought.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Nobody just jumps in with it.

[Brady]

Yeah, add the word sewing to that sentence. Because when you said, oh, yeah, Toledo's boy can make side money, Brett and I both gold. You guys want to see my sewing machines? Yes.

[John Holmberg]

Got a couple of Brady videos.

[Brady]

Does he ever make any clothes for you, like for your birthday? Why not have him sew up a nice.

[Dick Toledo]

Because I'm not cool enough to make clothes for Jack.

[Brady]

Yeah, you are. Daddy clothes.

[Dick Toledo]

Not his type of clothes. He makes these flared pants.

[Brady]

Sweet.

[John Holmberg]

It's getting better.

[Brady]

It's getting better. Wait, I know.

[John Holmberg]

I hear it as I say it.

[Brady]

I know you're killing Brad over there. Those pants are too restrictive. Cool for you to wear. Not gay.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey.

[John Holmberg]

Not age appropriate.

[Brady]

Really?

[John Holmberg]

Get some flare pants. Yeah, those flare jeans are hot. Oh, God.

[Dick Toledo]

Don't say you know that.

[Brady]

Winston says he can sew if he wants to. He can leave his friends behind, because if his friends don't sew, and if they don't sew, well, they're no friends of mine. Say you can sew if you want to leave your cast behind. The safety dance. I'm sorry. It's weird. We're all supposed to be accepting of that stuff, but it still makes us giggle.

[Dick Toledo]

It's unique, John.

[Brady]

It is unique.

[Dick Toledo]

We applaud kids that are unique these days.

[Brady]

Sure. All that. All that I said was, we applaud them, John. All I said was broads don't sew anymore. Which is why Joanne's out of business and you fired off with my son sews, which is the worst bumper sticker ever.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, God, if I have to put.

[Brady]

That on, my son sews. Like his oats and horse. No, literally. The man makes flared pants. Oh, that's.

[Dick Toledo]

And a jacket. He made a jacket.

[Brady]

Why do you make you a jacket for your birthday? I want Alex to show you up something.

[John Holmberg]

Or a vest.

[Brett]

It's the least he can do.

[Brady]

It is the least he can do for you paying rent as a thank you.

[Dick Toledo]

God damn it, don't make me anything.

[John Holmberg]

Pay your goddamn bills.

[Brady]

Thank you. No, you've already paid that as a thank you. He needs to go to this Joanne sale and make Daddy some new stuff.

[Brett]

Some flared pants.

[Brady]

A pair of flared pants out of some Joanne curtain fabric. And you come in, you have to wear those. You unsupportive son of a. You have to wear those. Beautiful, supportive. That's right.

[Brett]

Oh, he's support.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you take that back.

[Dick Toledo]

Hey, hey, hey.

[Brady]

Somebody just text over sew gang. So gay. It's okay to be gay. I don't know why you're fighting it so hard.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm not fighting it.

[John Holmberg]

All right, first radio video girl recording her bathroom. There's a bulge in the ceiling. There's an F bomb right off the bat, I think.

[Brady]

Okay, but there's water. Water's pouring out of that ceiling. It's about to break. Here we go. Oh, it's all poop. Oh, God. It all came out brown. I was expecting, like, shower water, but it's all poop. Oh, it's swelling. That paint. When the paint breaks free. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Her whole bathroom. Here we go. No, it's just poop.

[Brett]

I don't want to see the aftermath.

[Brady]

Yeah, I want to see the cleanup. Oh, that's horrifying. Is that the upstairs neighbor?

[Dick Toledo]

Has to be. Oh, God, they don't have their own house.

[Brady]

Winston's also all over you saying this. This explains the brisket thing with Toledo. I bet his son only eats lean brisket ass.

[John Holmberg]

Selita.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm recutting that Valentine's Day movie.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's right. You gotta be nice to him, Winston. He helped edit that film we did for you.

[John Holmberg]

Next one's a little road rage, okay?

[Brady]

Guy gets out of it, starts punching some dude's truck. He's got a gun. He's got a gun. Oh, and he gets shot by another guy.

[John Holmberg]

That is not tact.

[Brady]

No, somebody in the truck shoots the dude who approach in the face. Yeah, and he was right to do it because that dude's waving a gun on his face. Yep. Never be the one who bows up. And that dude's dead. Now, that's dumb because he got cut off or whatever. You come at me with a gun like that, you're running, you're playing. You're playing the gun game. You don't know who's in there.

[Dick Toledo]

Remember our late former co worker that did that when he got off in the off ramp over there.

[Brady]

Our buddy Hud, he didn't die from that.

[Dick Toledo]

No, but he had it in his. He didn't get out.

[Brady]

He. Another dude were chasing each other around. They got mad at each other and started waving guns at each other. And then driving 100 miles an hour.

[Dick Toledo]

Off the 101, they both brandished guns at each other.

[John Holmberg]

The last one's a little payback from a burro. This is animal abuse.

[Brady]

Oh. Oh, I think I've seen this one. This makes me mad. He's. He hits this donkey, smacking a donkey in the face. And Donkey's like, what did I do now? He mounts the donkey, tries to get on him to ride him. Donkey kills him, right?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, just gets a hold of his leg pretty good.

[Brady]

Oh, he bit his leg. And then he's punching the donkey. Donkey like, no good. Drag his ass around. That's the sounds of justice right there. Keep going, Donkey. I had to kill a man today, Shrek. I saw that donkey. He did a great job. He was trying to buy me stuff, so I bit him back. He smacked me in the face for no reason. Well, good. You should have killed him. You didn't do enough. Use your back legs. You're a donkey. Donkey. Is that it?

[John Holmberg]

That's it.

[Brady]

Oh, okay. It's something, something. Check out homework's morning sickness podcast at 98kupd.comberg's Morning Sickness.

[John Holmberg]

It's all I got, Brit.

[Brett]

Uh, got some strange ones.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Brett]

But we'll. We'll make it work. I don't know what this is.

[Dick Toledo]

You don't know what that is?

[John Holmberg]

Guitar jazz.

[Brady]

This is a guy playing acoustic guitar while he has doggy style sex with a woman. He's left handed.

[Brett]

He's playing rawhide.

[Brady]

He's staying on rhythm. This is pretty great. Well, she reaches down to give herself a little extra pleas while he continues his. It's almost like a one man band. It's like he's playing dry. He's keeping percussion with the midsection.

[Brett]

It's Freebird.

[Brady]

He's getting to the fast part now. He's going quick. That is a lot of concentrating. Is he singing too? Wow. Oh, we didn't get to see the big finish. It just. It stops in the middle. Yeah. Get them up, move them out. Eat them up. Eat them out. Rawhide. I don't know how the words go. I think that's one of the phrases, isn't it? I think that's what they say.

[Brett]

This one's just. She's A keeper.

[Brady]

All right, it's a lady on the side of the road next to her car. She's taking her shoes off, putting on some slippers, does a farmer's blow out of both nostrils, and cheers, shows us her shoes. That's just a woman doing a farmer's blow. That is gross.

[Dick Toledo]

What?

[Brady]

That was just gross for the sake of it. What a pig. All right, here's a lady with another lady's arm all the way up inside her up to almost the elbow. What's vibrating? She takes a hit off the vape. Oh, no. That's just like a coke.

[John Holmberg]

She's snorting a little bump.

[Brady]

Took a shot. Man. Are they. Russian girl is all the way into the elbow now.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, my God.

[Brady]

Is that Russian? Oh, my God. Look at that. Man, oh, man. The one with the arm in hers. Oddly enough, the one with the arm in her looks more pained than the one with the. With.

[Dick Toledo]

I swallow your arm?

[Brady]

Yeah, the arm girl is, like, struggling more than the one with the arm in her, you know, and it surprises us, but babies come out of there. Oh, yeah. An arm is nothing. Sure. No, that's not her butt.

[Dick Toledo]

Isn't it?

[John Holmberg]

No, I think it is. I think it is.

[Brady]

Oh, I guess you're right. There's the other thing. She just opened her legs up. That is her butt. All right, baby. Sometimes babies come out of there if they cut it wide enough.

[Brett]

It actually looks like somebody we know. Oh, I'm not saying it.

[Brady]

Devin.

[Dick Toledo]

No.

[Brady]

Oh, I see. I think I see who you're seeing downstairs.

[Brett]

Yep, 100%. I saw that first time.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh.

[Brady]

Oh, wow. It does look like one of our sales ladies. Who will remain nameless. I know for sure it's not her.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, he's got some side cash going.

[Brady]

Definitely. Nope.

[Brett]

All right, and then we'll switch over here. There's a nice little accident for you.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Brett]

Gonna need some cleanup.

[Brady]

It's a surveillance thing also. Oh, boy. Car goes sliding sideways. Wow. When the truck hits it. I'm hoping they were hauling watermelons, because the red explosion that comes out of the car that gets hit by that truck is huge. And I'm assuming it's a passenger. Oh, my God. It's a person exploding pieces.

[Dick Toledo]

Wow.

[Brady]

That truck doesn't look big enough to blow a person up.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, I mean, it wasn't slow, but.

[John Holmberg]

Sure it wasn't a jug of red Kool aid?

[Brady]

Yeah, I think they were just hauling them open. Yeah, they were just. I'm going Brady on that. I think there was just a punch bowl in the passenger seat. Oh, my Lord.

[Dick Toledo]

Is it possible the antifreeze fluid was red?

[Brady]

No, not that red. They're not coming out of the orange.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah, you're right.

[Brady]

Oh, my.

[John Holmberg]

They're going back from the wine country.

[Brady]

Yeah. They just had a bunch of death gurgle. Okay. Oh, there's a lady standing on a guy's neck while he's tugging away. Is he dying? He's standing on his throat. I don't think this is healthy for anybody, especially sexually.

[Dick Toledo]

Michael Hutchins.

[Brady]

So he starts to die, and then she gets off of his throat. I don't know. Oh, he's going to sleep. She knocked him out. That noise happens sometimes when you get choked out.

[Dick Toledo]

Really?

[Brady]

Yeah. But now she's going back over the middle of his throat. I don't know that this is good to do to anybody. She's standing directly on his voice box.

[Dick Toledo]

I don't know if we need to get into snuff film.

[Brady]

Yeah, I think we're watching snuff. He's already running.

[Dick Toledo]

All right. Being a relative term.

[Brett]

Hey, he signed up for it.

[Brady]

Yeah. This isn't a murder. This is a guy asking for it. They gotta bring him too little smelling salts. There he is. He's all right. He's okay. Everything worked out.

[John Holmberg]

They're still in love therapy.

[Brady]

And that's what you get for next Netflix. Betrayal.

[Brett]

Yeah. And I will just end with this.

[Brady]

Good Lord.

[Dick Toledo]

What?

[Brady]

All right, there's a guy or a girl, and she's.

[Dick Toledo]

Two girls.

[Brady]

Maybe one is performing licky loos on the other one, and they're in the.

[Dick Toledo]

Christ.

[Brady]

Is that some sort of discharge? Looks like. Oh, Christ. All right, I know what this is. I know what this is. It's. That is from WTF Moments in Porn Scene 5. So I know what this is. Brady. Do you want me to explain it?

[Brett]

No, the guy finished.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All that noise of like, so there was a dude and the lady before. Before this video was shot that finished up. That's called an oatmeal cream pie without the oatmeal part. And then the other lady got in there and said, all right, before you get rid of all this, let me have a taste of that. And then she says, how many licks does it take to get to the center of this lady? Three. Three. And then happened. And she got Peter north by a girl.

[Brett]

I'm saving that one for the videos.

[Brady]

That's keeper. Because I didn't. Pardon the pun. See that coming.

[John Holmberg]

No, Just ruined my Cinnabon.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's Definitely Cinnabon looking. Anyway. Good Christ. I got a whole lineup of ladies downstairs that want your son to hand out some pants for him, so. Well, I'm hip, I'm cool. Can I get some flared jeans made by the boy? What's he charged for a pair of jeans, Huh?

[Dick Toledo]

I don't know.

[Brady]

Ask him.

[Dick Toledo]

I'll find out.

[Brady]

Does it come with a bj? Probably found in Tucson. Gulp. Sup? Sup? You want my pants, you'll have to take them off. He's got two sewing machines. Never heard of that. You gotta be at least 60 to own two sewing machines and name Madge.

[Dick Toledo]

Come on. If he's a young gay, he's not going to Cher concerts. This guy says, how many Cher concerts has he been to?

[Brady]

That's true. That's a bad reference.

[Dick Toledo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Sam Smith or Kim Petras.

[Dick Toledo]

There you go. Yeah.

[Brady]

I don't know if he's raised right. A couple of Cher concerts in there.

[Dick Toledo]

So where he's going to this Brett, I've seen you. You wear flared pants.

[Brady]

No, he doesn't. No, I don't. Flared pants aren't gay.

[Dick Toledo]

I'm offended for Brett.

[Brett]

I wear dickies.

[Brady]

Yeah. Flared pants aren't gay. Selling them is super gay. And I don't want flared pants sewn by a straight. It's not going to be. I prefer my pants and clothes. Me, made by flaming homosexual. They're the best at it. Yeah, exactly. That goes right back to my theory about walking into a Japanese restaurant and seeing Mexicans with the, you know, ninja headbands on. I'm like, nope. I want authentic Japanese sushi cutters. I don't want to walk in there and hear Odile. I want to hear that. That thing they yell at you walk in. Nobody knows what they say, but we all back at them.

[Brett]

I don't want Daniel LaRusso and Johnny Lawrence back there making my sushi.

[Brady]

I don't need Cobra Kai making the sushi. If I walk in, I analyze. Nope, nope, and nope. I need those dudes to look like they may have been kidnapped. All vertical. I need a lot of that. I like my Mexican food being made by Mexicans. I don't want to go over to IKEA and have the lingonberries be slapped out by a dude named Juan. Want my Swedish food made by big fat Swedish ladies. The way I grew up on it. Even though I don't want any Swedish food ever. It's a curse. How Ikea's kept in business is beyond me. There's no possible way anybody's ordering. Get some Swedish meatballs at ikea. Get the burger. Stay away from all Swedish cuisine. It's disgusting. My people did not know what they were doing. They still don't. Would you like some loot?

[Dick Toledo]

Fisk?

[Brady]

What is that? Dry white fish covered in salt? No, that is. No, that is a poor person's meal.

[John Holmberg]

Can use it for a doorstop.

[Brady]

Oh, it's so gross. Sometimes we kick it in a shell of salt to put it in giant shells of salt that only they can make. It's gross. They got to crack it open like an egg and there's a fish in it. That's horrifying, but I still prefer it be made by a Swede than a Mexican. Go to an Italian restaurant. Remember that time you and I went to that Italian place together and that Japanese guy was there and we both thought we shouldn't be here?

[Brett]

Time to leave.

[Brady]

Wanna get you now. Like what you're running. Hold on a second. We're at Caruso's Italian Deli. Who are you? I am Ona. All right, I'm not buying into this at all. We both got salami subs. Sir, I didn't mean to complain about this. Very delicious. Except for I just bit into a squid. Very good addition. No, no, no. Not very Italian.

[Brett]

Should have got fish sauce.

[Brady]

Mediterranean. Okay, yeah, you'll get a fish sauce for your lasagna burger. Lasagna burger? You're not doing any of this right. It's 8:22. I like to keep it authentic. And I want my pants sewn by gays. I walk into a place and the guy's like, hey, how you doing? You mean to hem your pants for you there, buddy? No, I prefer a homosexual. Do it. I want it done right. Is there a twink back there that I can't see? There you go. That's your Brady Report. It's 98 KUPD.

[Dick Toledo]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee.

[Brady]

I've heard enough of this for you, pd.