← Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
02-26-25 - FULL SHOW - WEDNESDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD
02:41:56
Loading summary
Transcript995 lines
- [00:00]
Dick Toledo
It's Dick Toledo and new customers right now on FanDuel. Get $150 in bonus bets when your first $5 wager wins. Just visit FanDuel.com KUPD to grab $150 in college hoops bonus bets with a winning $5 bet and prepare for March on FanDuel America's 1 Sportsbook 21 plus in President Arizona first online real money wager only. $5. First deposit required. Bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus bets which expire seven days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See terms@sportsbook.fanduel.com gambling problem. Call 1-800-next- step or text next step to.
- [00:34]
John Holmberg
Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Wednesday. It is 5:45. It's the morning sickness. My name's John Holmberg. There's Brady, there's Brett, and there's big Dick Toledo. Off and running for another glorious day here in paradise. Perfect. Spring training's here. All that stuff we always talk about. Love it. Love every second of it. We live in the best city in America, I think.
- [01:09]
Brady
Played golf yesterday and it was unbelievable.
- [01:11]
John Holmberg
You were sweating. You had to worry about getting like.
- [01:14]
Brady
Oh, gotta find shade now.
- [01:15]
John Holmberg
Yeah, it's gotta park in the shade of your. Or your golf cart gets hot. Yeah, it's, it's nice though. It's a. We, we got it all good. And then of course, I don't know how you even got through yesterday, Bray. How did you even manage to wander around and, and have any sort of energy at all with Diana Taurasi retiring? I mean, the whole city is shut down today. I mean, this is.
- [01:35]
Brett
Why are we here?
- [01:36]
John Holmberg
This is the greatest of all time. They call her. This is like when Tom Brady left football. This is when Joe Montana was done. This is definitely feels that way. When Michael Jordan retired and you know, people said, oh, the goat, the great. When Wayne Gretzky stepped away from the game, people shuddered. You know, highlight reels, it's non stop. 21 years. She played 20 2004. And in 2004, if you think back to WNBA, when she got there, nobody was buying tickets. Not a soul, not one. And now, well, nothing's changed. But still, I mean, she played 20 years for now. Well, there are more lesbians now than there were in 2004. Maybe she had something to do with that. That's a good thing. And now a whole bunch of them show up to watch Mercury games twice a year to mind finger Caitlin Clark when she's in town. I think that's kind of at Taurasi Stadium. Yeah. They could name it after her. They might. The arena has a. I actually talked to Dylan Cook yesterday, my son's contact, and he's a ticket guy there. And I said to him, I'm like, I guess the arena's name is, you know, in flux. We could. We could call it the Terrace Arena. And he said, no, that news is coming soon. And I said, yeah, we already know it's gonna be Sarver's Bank. And he goes, no, that deal fell through. And he goes, what are you, a private investigator? And I' no, but you hung the permit to change the name on the window of the arena. It doesn't take a genius to figure this out. It is not going to be the Western Alliance Evernote.
- [03:05]
Brady
They put it up there just to give them a taste of what it would look like.
- [03:08]
John Holmberg
No, you have to. You have to. Permits have to be presented publicly for signage and stuff. Well, that's what they're doing. They're trying to get a city permits. Can we throw the sign up? It'll say this. And then they plastered up there. And if anybody objects. That's the whole deal with like. I learned that the city can just build a Walmart on your house. And all they have to do is post it somewhere. And if enough. If nobody complains, they'll just come by and hey, we're gonna buy your house off you, if you don't mind. It's eminent domain. Nobody complained. We voted it through. They wouldn't. Because obviously it would cause a huge problem. But all they have to do is post it, and that's what they did. So it's not gonna be Sarver's bank, which would have been really funny, but. Brady, you distract me. Diana Taurasi retired yesterday. And all I can think about. Remember that one game, what she scored.
- [03:52]
Brett
She had all the.
- [03:54]
John Holmberg
Oh, and the play at the end when the. Oh, the memories.
- [03:59]
Brett
There were so many. Which one?
- [04:00]
John Holmberg
Flooding back. All the. The goat. The goat. I mean, I. I bet. You know, it's not even fair to say the goat. Because when I. When I hear greatest of all time, I think of Michael Jordan. I think of. You know, and I'll even. I'll even make it non misogynistic. I even think of Martina Navratilova. I think of those great matches that there, no question, the best of all time. And girls tennis going back and forth. That era of graph, naver, Tolova, Everett, you know those sure that was an unbelievable. Those matches, the Wimbledon match that, you know, five sets between the machine, that was Martina. And the beauty and precision, beauty and the beast battles. That's what we should call those. Because we did privately. Yeah, those. But I mean, you think of Diana Taurasi and it's the best it's ever been. The all time leading scorer, Kareem Abdul Jabbar for years, the all time leading scorer. I remember the sky hook and the championships against the Celtics and even, you know, when he was Lou Alcinder, the highlights that would come in when he was with Milwaukee. Buck. And of course, Diana Taurasi and the highlights that come flooding back. Brett, what's your first memory of. I remember Michael Jordan had the flu game and of course, the shot that beat the Cavaliers in the playoffs and.
- [05:12]
Brett
Crying with the trophy.
- [05:13]
John Holmberg
Crying with the trophy and holding up the three and. Oh, give me your Diana Taurasi, greatest of all time. By the way, I remind you, the.
- [05:22]
Brett
Memories you have being the goat, there's so many. I just. I can't nail it down to just one.
- [05:26]
John Holmberg
One, man.
- [05:27]
Brett
I just can't nail it down to just one.
- [05:28]
John Holmberg
Can't. I can't.
- [05:31]
Brett
Brady, you know, there's that one game.
- [05:33]
John Holmberg
I mean, we're a city that needs to reflect on. On what is being called the greatest of all time. And of course, with that comes memory after memory.
- [05:40]
Brady
I remember seeing that giant wall billboard.
- [05:46]
John Holmberg
Oh, you remember her advertising?
- [05:47]
Brady
Yeah, I remember that.
- [05:50]
John Holmberg
Of course you do. That's like a huge. Remember that. I do remember that. Oh, man. I mean, we could spend the whole show recapping the buzzer beaters against the shock.
- [06:08]
Brett
The show only runs till 10.
- [06:09]
John Holmberg
John, you know what?
- [06:10]
Brett
We don't have enough time.
- [06:11]
John Holmberg
Maybe we just dedicate a whole day soon to the greatest of all time. They call her. That's what they call her.
- [06:19]
Brady
I remember seeing her on tv and all she said is, we got next.
- [06:22]
John Holmberg
We got next. I remember those ads too. Brady, you're big on remembering her marketing skills.
- [06:28]
Brady
Never forget them.
- [06:29]
John Holmberg
Oh, they're hard to forget when the greatest of all time was on. I remember being at a sports bar once and I think there was a. I think it was the. It was. Dale Hellestray and I were at a sports bar watching the Tennessee Titans and the Patriots play in the playoffs, and a Diana Taurasi commercial came on and some guy stood up and said, have some respect. Shut the up. The goat's talking. And she said, western alliance bank, it's for you. And like, yeah, the place erupted with Goat cheers. And we didn't even care about the football game anymore. I remember that. Not happening. I remember. So. So. I mean, I can't even.
- [07:05]
Brett
The Jordan and LeBron fly into town to.
- [07:07]
John Holmberg
Well, I mean, it was a goat reunion where it's like, remember when Jordan. Remember when LeBron had. What was the nickname? The black Mamba for all of the. Remember when Kobe put up 70? I do. That was a great game. He had 70 points. I remember that game. Just like I don't like Kobe Bryant, but my God, there's no denying this guy can score. I remember that. And I remember, you know, Kobe's. Kobe and Shaq down 16 in the fourth quarter, which is a few minutes to go against Portland, and the two of them put on an absolute clinic of alley oops and passes and dunks. And I remember that. And they're not even goats. And that's why it's hard to like Diana Taurasi's every shot lives in. But, God, she was good at basket weaving. I think she's amazing. It's gonna be hard to see her go. And then the tribute, the line, and all the. All of her former teammates. Like that one teammate and then the other one that was the Russian prisoner. And then all the others that were here.
- [08:07]
Brett
Oh, there's so many. It's just the list.
- [08:09]
John Holmberg
It's tough. The list. You can name, of course, their three championships. You can name the starting five for the goats championship.
- [08:16]
Brett
Yeah, I don't want to show.
- [08:17]
John Holmberg
I know, right? You don't want to be. You don't want to come across as a Know it all. Of course you can, because she's the goat. If I hear her get called the goat one more time, I'm gonna throw a brick through every television in America. The goat. You have to be memorable to more than just the small fan base the goat transcends. You know, the greatest of all time to me is in WNBA basketball already. Caitlin Clark. Everybody knows her. Everybody's probably watched her. That's the goat. That's what goats do. Maybe she hasn't accomplished much yet. She's got a ways to go to be like the greatest player. She's a women's basketball women's four.
- [08:56]
Brady
Cause she was more famous. You know that she's the most famous one.
- [08:59]
John Holmberg
Last year, her first year in the league, she was the most famous one before she got to the wnba. You know who the second greatest one of all time is? Angel Reese. Because she's Caitlin's nemesis. They're each other's back and Forth those two. You can't say it because you have to act. And here's the other thing. I heard Ladonna Harvey on talking with Vince Marauder. I already text Vince and joked about it, but I said, she goes, you know, I tell you what there, Vincent. 20 years of professional athleticism does a whole bunch bad to the body. And I immediately text Vincent, evidently to the face as well. And then I thought to myself, well, there's going to be backlash for that. But I spent 30 minutes yesterday telling everybody how ugly I think Lamar Jackson is, and not one person emailed me and said, he's not ugly. That's wrong. You say to about, that's why I don't like the wnba. Nothing to do with the product on the court. You're not allowed to criticize them. People get mad when you call them when one of them's ugly. And I swear to God, we talk about ugly. And women can. And all people can talk about sports they hate or that basketball's stupid and I hate the W. The NBA is a waste of time. You can say that. You say the WNBA is a waste of time and you're a misogynist. It's a terrible product. It's going to get better. Caitlin Clark's going to make it better. She's the best I've ever watched play girls basketball, hands down, by far. And the second best is Angel Reese. And she's not very good. Her footwork's terrible. She. She'll get better. But she still was like, she can. She can dominate a game and she's like 21. But Diana Taurasi just showed up for 20 years. Anyway, Goat the Goat.
- [10:38]
Brady
They've got six documentaries coming out of the college all star team beating the Olympic team and the women's the one year 92 every year it happens.
- [10:50]
John Holmberg
Oh, they did it with girls.
- [10:52]
Brady
Yeah, they lost every time.
- [10:55]
John Holmberg
Well, I remember the junior high kids that beat the Olympic basketball girls team. She's the gloat, says Tommy Reyes. The greatest lesbian of all time. I wouldn't go for that. I've seen. I can actually recount some. Some highlights of great lesbianism in the past that I don't think she would participate in anyway. Goodbye to Diana's Ross. Well, at least we've named the street after her. And no one else in the city concerning the Sun's basketball team. I mean, there is no Vanarsdale Drive. There is no even Barkley Way Richard Dumas Drive. I can recall the 1993 losing sons starting 5. I have no clue the starting five for the last championship. I also don't know what year the last championship was for the Mercury. And you know what else is going to suck? Sons are back in town tomorrow. And I'm sure because they want people to be there, they're going to have some presentation for her tomorrow at the game. Because why not do it in front of the Mercury fans? Well, because no one will care. You have to do it in front of the big. What's been subsidizing and nobody cares. Yeah, this. This. This women's league that has been subsidized by the men's league for years. And again, I'm the only feminist in the entire city because I'm the first and only one that admits it's been subsidized by the men. Therefore, it can't stand on its own, which means it's being patronized by a. By the males. And it's not good for women's sports. It isn't. If you can't stand on your own and you're. You know, and the men are propping you up, it's not feminism. It's. You're a housewife. I'll pay for your clothes, little lady. Don't you worry about that. That's just. It's patronizing, but they see it as empowerment. But I don't see empowerment being. Can we borrow some money, Dad? I don't see that as empowered at first, but the thing's 27 years old. It's still losing money and still needs money.
- [12:54]
Brett
Is it really that old?
- [12:55]
John Holmberg
Yeah, it might be. Yeah. It's 28, 2997.
- [12:58]
Brett
I had no idea. And I'm not even being a jerk. I just.
- [13:00]
John Holmberg
Man, they keep saying they're next, but I don't know. That butcher's taking a long time to get to their number anyway. Taurasi, do you have a moment of silence?
- [13:11]
Brady
Little presentation tomorrow.
- [13:12]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's gonna be at the Suns game. Shouldn't play for.
- [13:16]
Brady
You're gonna be there?
- [13:17]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I gotta go. I'll be in the Rah Rah room, drinking. I'm not gonna watch that.
- [13:20]
Brett
Oh, come on.
- [13:20]
John Holmberg
No, it's history. I watch. I leave the Rah Rah Rah room for two things, the Red Panda and a playoff Suns team. Otherwise, I'm just hanging out. I'll go watch some of the game, but I'm not gonna. She'll be at the game, front row, and Vince will have to introduce her and stuff. I'm sure, you know, it doesn't mean she's a bad person. It just means she's part of a terrible product. The way people have Trump derangement syndrome. I have WNBA derangement syndrome. I think it is absolutely awful.
- [13:50]
Brady
Maybe she'll hang out in the Rah rah.
- [13:52]
John Holmberg
Oh, sweet Jesus. Now she's gonna wreck that too. Probably because the suns are hard to watch, too. Now I can say that all day long. I can talk about how cruddy the sun. Oh, I can talk about how crappy they are right now. Nobody says anything. Talk about crappy. The Mercury women. No, I just hate that league. And I also got emails yesterday and then people were like, what do you think of this, John? You know, being the. I talked about it yesterday. The human of the year of all time at the big award. Big award for the Hero Awards coming up this weekend. Arizona Pet Project. So Hero awards on Saturday. Human of the year. Gotta put a suit on. Everybody should be in suits and big fancy to do. And I'll be the hero of the year. But they're like your pet. What do you think of this? And there's a. They're going to pass a law that says you can get a ticket if you're driving around with a pet on your lap. But I immediately responded back, that's not already a law. You shouldn't have anything living on your lap the whole time you're driving. That's a terrible idea. Or otherwise. The only time you should have something sitting on your.
- [14:55]
Brady
Well, yeah, it's a legit distraction.
- [14:57]
John Holmberg
Does it count? Roadhead. I think you get a ticket for that.
- [14:59]
Brett
I think that's a. I think that's a. You know, that's a. That's a pass.
- [15:02]
Brady
Because if it's distracted driving you.
- [15:05]
John Holmberg
Well, I'm not that distracted. I'm totally focused driving. Brady, you need to get roadhead soon. You've forgotten just how focused you actually become. It's the best driving I've ever done in my life. Yeah, I'm not distracted at all.
- [15:16]
Brady
That's what I'm saying. No matter what it is, if you're distracted.
- [15:19]
John Holmberg
We were talking about one specific thing, sir, and you said distracted, and it pissed us off a little bit. Not gonna lie to you. That isn't a distraction. That is a welcome gift. I will focus heavily while that's going on as to not interrupt the flow, so to speak. We're not going to take it. While that's going on my mind and the speed limit, I'm going to drive around extra. But yeah, you Got a pet in your lap. And then when the guy pulls you over and says, what do you got going on in your lap? Oh, that's my pet. That's a woman. Right? That's what I just said. Point is, and she's doing a. She's doing some heavy petting right now. And there's no law against that. I had no idea. I always see that people driving around with a dog on their lap and I'm like, put your dog on a seat or what? Don't do that. When they're hanging out one side of.
- [16:06]
Brady
The window, around, like one side, the.
- [16:08]
John Holmberg
Other one not on your lap. And they should look if they're climbing around or whatever. But if they're hanging out the driver's window and you're holding a living creature, that's. You wouldn't do it with a baby or anything else because it can cause trouble. You don't want that. I thought that was. Shoot. I thought it was a law already. No, it's not. It's awful. I thought it was a law already. And they said, now it can soon get you a ticket. I would have assumed it could have before. We're a little late on that one because somebody emailed me yesterday and they drive around with their dog in their lap all the time and I'm like, well, stop it. You're not doing the dog any favors. You have to hit the brakes hard or God forbid your airbags go off. You're gonna have a dog fossil on your chest. It's gonna smash them up against you, you know, side seat. I prefer the little seatbelt situation, but if you're not gonna do that, at least put them in the back seat. Yeah, they've got to pass a law, basically. I don't know that it's that big a problem, but I hate that when I see a dog head sticking out of the driver's side and I'm like, ah. Cause you know, I've got bus. Bus knocked me out a couple weeks ago. If bus was sitting on my lap and decided to turn around too fast, I'm going to sleep. That puts me at risk on the roads. I can't get over Taurasi leaving. I mean, that one shot she hit from downtown, remember?
- [17:22]
Brett
I don't know how we're gonna get through this show today.
- [17:23]
John Holmberg
I don't neither. Just all these memories of flooding back are like, God, time has passed. And it was 2007 and she went. Juked that one lady. Oh, cha cha. And she juked her. And then buzzard Beat her.
- [17:34]
Brady
Yay.
- [17:35]
John Holmberg
And they beat the Lynx, I think it was. Remember that team, the Minnesota Lynx with all their stuff? Never forget they had the ball. They were dominant up front. They had those girls and that one. One. Yeah.
- [17:48]
Brady
Oh, I remember one game she juked three times. One, two, three. And then set shot. It was good.
- [17:53]
Brett
Oh, that one shot was amazing.
- [17:55]
John Holmberg
Her mid range shot. I remember that game when she had that mid range shot. That girl's like, ah, it was like, final score, 54 to 50. And like, man, if it wasn't for Taurasi's 12 footers. Oh, that one layup she had. Oh, Goat right there at the free throw line. One of the girls, look, hello. What happened? And this blur goes by. Remember that time she kissed that one girl on the court and made her quit? I do. I remember that part too. It was a statement when she made that one heterosexual girl feel so uncomfortable and then kissed her on the lips and infuriated her. And I remember that. Remember a lot of stuff about it. I remember.
- [18:39]
Brady
I remember they pulled off the win the one time because she made the. They missed 35 layups that game. He made the. She made the one that won the.
- [18:47]
John Holmberg
The. They call it the GW Lu. The game winning layup. Oh, it's just. It's. You're going to make me cry thinking about all the sports history that comes with Phoenix. Sports wouldn't. It wouldn't be the same without it. All these sports bars are going to. I mean, what are they going to do? They're going to close, I think most four zips. And you know, all those sports bars, they're just going to close.
- [19:11]
Brett
Pack it up, boys.
- [19:13]
John Holmberg
Yeah. There's nothing to. Nothing to see.
- [19:16]
Brady
Maybe there'll be a string of Taurasi's sports bars.
- [19:19]
John Holmberg
Maybe. Yeah. Like Marley's. Yeah. Marley's wasn't. He's not a goat though. Hers would be like a steak. 44, I'd say. I'd say. And we all know it kind of. It would be a fish house. Yeah, I didn't want to say anything anywho. So she's gone now. We gotta focus on other stuff. I. I don't know how we're gonna. But we'll get through this. Put the blinders on, try to get your day done knowing that the Goat steps away. And the Mount Rushmore, she's right up there with Wilt and Kareem and Michael. I'll even throw Kobe up there, even though I disagree that he's on the Rushmore. LeBron. Who I do think deserves it. And I hate that he does. And then that Taurasi right up there and people will be like, wow, who are the other four people with Diana Taurassi? Who those four dudes faces those presidents or something like. No, those are goats in leagues no one cares about, that's for sure. I remember the starting lineup of teams the Bulls played. I wasn't even a Bulls fan. I remember the Knicks starting lineup. I don't know.
- [20:32]
Brett
Remember most of the Pistons even.
- [20:34]
John Holmberg
Yeah, oh, yeah. I remember their bench. Vinnie the Microwave Johnson was the sixth man of the year like three times. Well, yeah, now you got memories. Now they're flooding back. Remember when the bad boys came to town and oh, lame beer and Isaiah? Yeah, good Christ. Rodman's on that early team. And Vinnie and two Mars. You can't stop. It's just never ending. Rick Mahorn, we can load them up and then you go to the championship team. From years that we can't remember of the goats teams.
- [21:09]
Brett
She just overshadows them all. That's why, you know, that's why we can't remember.
- [21:12]
John Holmberg
That's why I think maybe I Tarasi and I. I'm a little more upset that we have the same nose. I think that's probably worse for her than it is me. In other news, this headline, right. I think this needs to be put to a vote. Connecticut Cannibal released. Quote, it's comforting that he's no longer a threat. To who? How'd you like to be that guy's neighbor? Hi, who are you? Oh, my name is Tyre Smith. Like, oh, hi, Tyree, how are you? You just moving into town? Yeah, I just got out. Oh, got out? What do you mean? Oh, I was in jail for a while. I cannibalized some people and now I'm better. There's a. The lawyer says he's actually comforted with a bunch of psych psychiatric experts in Connecticut. Psychiatric Security Review board unanimously agreed that Tyree is no longer a threat until he is. Was he a threat before the cannibalism? Did we know about it or did he just snap? He was found not guilty by reason of insanity in 2012 and ordered to spend 60 years at the psychiatric hospital. Because in 2012 they're like, Ain't no fixing this guy for 60 years. He's nuts. He ate a guy. He will be. And they said the boards review. They will be released from the high security forensic hospital, housed full time at a community facility. Conditional release. Now, this is a dude who peeled the eyes out of another person and started to eat him and then started to just chow down on a guy. Tyre Smith's story is not like, oops, I accidentally ate some person. He did it on purpose. And. And then they just decided to say, you know, 12, 13 years later, he's.
- [22:55]
Brady
Not going to eat.
- [22:56]
John Holmberg
He's not going to eat anybody again. However, using logic against them, which I tend to do, if a mountain lion bites a kid, we have to kill it because it has a taste for human flesh, right?
- [23:11]
Brady
Yeah, true. With a lot of animals.
- [23:13]
John Holmberg
Every animal that's in the woods where we wander into their area and they defend their home, we put them down because, well, they just. Humans just taste so damn good. Now he's got a taste for it, he's gonna do it again. So wouldn't that hold true to a cannibal, that once you get a taste.
- [23:31]
Brett
Of us, you'd think.
- [23:33]
John Holmberg
You'd think that that's pretty much the end of it. And I don't know that him being out of, you know, like psychiatrists all day can say, yeah, sure, but wouldn't you rather like. My dog Yeardley is probably not gonna bite, but she's had triggers in the past where she seems like she might bite. She doesn't like men. She was abused by men as a puppy, had her leg torn off by a guy. And so she gets sketchy around guys. So I muzzle her. She's probably better. And you could probably say that she wouldn't do it. I mean, psychiatrically. I can evaluate her because I see her every day and say, this dog's not gonna bite anybody. Again, she's been rehabilitated. But just in case she does get a hankering for a Mexican calf, I'm gonna muzzle that. And that's the smart thing to do. Same thing for anybody who eats another person. Yeah, yeah, you ate a person. And me, you're showing a lot of signs that that's behind you. But I'm gonna go ahead and keep you locked up just in case in your brain, the buffet opens again.
- [24:37]
Brady
Would he be the first cannibal back into this?
- [24:41]
John Holmberg
You know, that's a good question. I don't know. Is he the ghost?
- [24:42]
Brady
Most of the time. You know, then they say, we made a mistake. We need to put him down.
- [24:48]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah.
- [24:48]
Brady
On the attack, you know, like they do with white dogs.
- [24:51]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I agree that you need to put all cannibals down. I don't think rehabilitating a cannibal, but.
- [24:56]
Brady
This would be the first.
- [24:57]
John Holmberg
This might be the first time they're like, hey, we fixed it. Let him loose. I don't know that that's comforting. You know that monkey that ripped that guy's face off a few years ago? Remember that?
- [25:07]
Brady
Yeah.
- [25:08]
John Holmberg
I think they kept him in like a cage forever after. I think he's still alive, but he's like, been in, like, they, they're analyzing. Like, he's like, you know, that Matthew Broderick movie, Project X or whatever it was. I forget. What is it?
- [25:20]
Brett
Something like that.
- [25:21]
John Holmberg
But they, they like stick probes in his brain to see, like, is he. They kept Caesar alive naturally. Gonna hate things. Yeah. Caesar from the. That's right. To make it so people understand Caesar. That's the one. Anyway, the family of the guy he ate, also not happy about this. And I think that would be like, that's true. I know the Goldmans were miserable that OJ Got freed. I can't imagine if my family member was eaten by a fella. And then 12 years later, they're like, you know, at the very least as a family, you're like, well, at least I'm comforted knowing that he'll be in jail for his whole life. No, he won't.
- [25:57]
Brady
You said he was in for 60 years.
- [25:59]
John Holmberg
No, that was his sentence. He was in for 12.
- [26:01]
Brady
I was gonna say.
- [26:02]
John Holmberg
Actually, I thought maybe he was in for 11 and a half years when now he's out. No, he'll be out. Yeah, it.
- [26:10]
Brady
It seems a little, like, too soon, in a way.
- [26:14]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [26:15]
Brady
11 years.
- [26:15]
Brett
Friends against. Shanked in prison.
- [26:17]
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, he was in a.
- [26:19]
Brady
Don't mess.
- [26:19]
John Holmberg
He's in a loony bin. He didn't go to a real prison.
- [26:21]
Brett
Okay, well, how did Dahmer get away with it?
- [26:23]
John Holmberg
I don't know.
- [26:25]
Brett
He got shanked.
- [26:26]
John Holmberg
He ate more than one. I guess. I guess that's the rule.
- [26:28]
Brett
If you just use something with the family size. Okay.
- [26:31]
John Holmberg
If you go back for seconds. Ah, gosh. Something, something. Check out Hornberg's morning sickness podcast@98kupd.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. This the lady, the sister in law of the person that he ate and that. Yeah, you heard me say that. She says, how do we know he's not gonna do this again? Which is everyone's feeling of a cannibal. How do you know he's done? She thinks he's learned in the system how to suppress his cannibalistic rage to look normal again.
- [27:09]
Brady
And it wasn't like a drug, you know, induced deal.
- [27:14]
John Holmberg
What, that he was drugged up and ate a guy probably I would assume there were drugs involved. But still, you let him out on his own devices.
- [27:22]
Brady
That friend, that's gonna give him that mickey, right?
- [27:25]
John Holmberg
Somebody goes, hey, man, it's been good to see you. Where you been? I read a little bit about you in the paper. I didn't get into detail. Yeah, I'm back, man. I'm back. How you doing? Tyrese Back. Everybody hate, man, you want to get an eight ball and start messing around? I probably avoid that. Last time I had eight ball, ate a man. I took eight ball the wrong way. I spelled it at E. I ate a man's balls. So, yeah, so the family is, like, not getting any justice on this one. But he. He hacked a stranger up with an axe, and then he ate some of his brain and definitely made a point to eat his eyeballs and then talked about eating those eyeballs. He says, he's out. He's out now. Remember when Ed Reed of the Baltimore Ravens retired and then he took his helmet off and he had that crazy beard and that wacky hair, and everybody's like, ed Reed looks homeless and crazy. That's what this guy looks like now. Like, that's. He looks like when we all said Ed Reid was crazy. This is his. This is his sane photograph. Yeah. This is his sane picture. Yeah.
- [28:25]
Brett
Skip the loony, Ben.
- [28:26]
John Holmberg
Yeah, well, it's. You know, you're supposed to put cannibals down. In a world where I was president, if you eat somebody, you're out. You're out. And the one guy yesterday on the news was, like, the goal of all people in an institution is rehabilitation, and that should have a little asterisk next to it. Raping kids, harming puppies and stuff like that. Yeah. Any molestation of any sort like that. And then, of course, cannibalism falls into that category of, you're not coming back to us.
- [29:01]
Brady
They should test him the first night he's home and serve a sheepshead with the eyes over there. You know, they pluck it out, see what he does.
- [29:09]
John Holmberg
Scott Haynes suggests, look, every time he gets a little urge, just give him a McRib. We're pretty sure he's gonna get the. That tastes pretty close. Cannibals aren't gonna ever eat anyone again. John the Enabler died a few years ago when Porkopolis closed. That's true. That's probably. I say we open up Porkopolis again and give him a delicious option. And then, of course, another memory of Taurasi said, I remember when Taurasi got her all Time points leader. Like when she became the all time scorer in the wnba. Had to read it off my CVS receipt ticket. It was on the top of it to say, congratulations, Diana. Of course, that memory is hard to shake. When the receipts at Fry's and stuff remind you of the accomplishments of the players you're not knowing much about anyway, what are you going to do? But they still can go mind finger Caitlin Clark at games. And I guess that's. That's the only positive left with the WNBA is the lesbians can go there and image some of those girls through their brains. I just mind scissored Alicia Thomas. I don't know if her name. I don't know if there is one of those or not. I'm assuming it's probably. And if your neighbor's a cannibal move, by the way, also, that's if you're in an apartment building and the new guy comes out.
- [30:38]
Brady
I haven't said anything for years.
- [30:40]
John Holmberg
You know what? You know what? He seems all right. Except that the second the neighbors and you also, if you work, if you have to report in the neighborhood as a person who's done sex crimes, minors and stuff like that, or you're a sex offender, you get a rap on my door and go, hi, I'm new in the neighborhood and I have to let everybody know I'm here. Same with the cannibal. Although I don't need you knocking on my door to do that.
- [31:03]
Brett
Do they have to go door to door arrested?
- [31:05]
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah, they should. They should just like the sex offenders.
- [31:08]
Brett
Like hand out pamphlets and stuff.
- [31:09]
John Holmberg
Give a thing. It says here it's me. I live over on this. This is my house. And wrap on the door. No, no, that's why you have to. You would have to tell you. You don't ask. He's just. Someday you think he's selling magazines. That's the only reason a guy that looks like him's knocking on my door in the middle of the summer. Like, oh, Christ, no, I'm not interested. I don't need any of that. No, I'm not selling magazines. I have to tell you something. My name's Tyree. I live over here now and I just got out of jail. Like, oh, geez, were you a sex offender? Great. We got this in the. Oh, no, no, I never had sex with any. That's disgusting. Okay.
- [31:42]
Brett
What man do you think I am?
- [31:43]
John Holmberg
Yeah, Tyree, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. No, I ate a guy, so I have to let you Know that I ate someone once.
- [31:51]
Brady
Well, I did time for it. I didn't do it. I'm still innocent.
- [31:54]
John Holmberg
Were you starving in a plane crash? I can understand that. No, I was just bored. And I cracked his skull open. As a stranger. I didn't even know him. I cracked his skull open. I ate his brains and his eyeballs. But I'm better now. Oh, well, welcome to the neighborhood, Tyrese. And then you just hear that fence post being that hole being dug for your real estate sign. Call Doug Hopkins. 1-800-get- out of there. Called Doug Hopkins. 1-800-sell now. I'll buy your house. Unless there's a cannibal next door.
- [32:27]
Brett
Hopkins is just handy to five grand. No, no, I'm not doing it.
- [32:30]
John Holmberg
It's $5,000.
- [32:31]
Brett
Good.
- [32:31]
John Holmberg
Buy a security system. You got a cannibal living nearby. You can't. What happened? What happened to us all together. Every one of us, except for that little fringe group of weirdos that we all wanted to kill? People like this? Where's the America I grew up in where we all agreed that cannibals needed to die? Where is that America?
- [32:52]
Brady
Soon there's going to be a section in Phoenix. It's where the cannibals live.
- [32:56]
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah, that's Cannibal Downs over there. You don't want to go in there. It's where they house all the cannibals. And how about the poor pricks that just are getting out of jail for, you know, involuntary manslaughter? They got into a bar fight, cracked a guy, and his head hit the pool table, and he died. And he's in that halfway house. And now his new roommate is the old. Can I be shaking all night long? Look like Michael J. Fox in that bed. Tyree, do you mind turning the lights on? I'd put mouse traps all between his bed and mine. Any creaky floor noise, I'm shooting into the air. I have to go to the bathroom, man. Well, I'm not taking any chances. You ate a guy once.
- [33:36]
Brady
You notice there's salt and pepper shakers all over yourself?
- [33:40]
John Holmberg
Yeah. You just crack some out of there? Yeah, I got in my bag of belongings. Frank's Red Hot. What do you do? Oh, I put that on everything. Everything?
- [33:49]
Brett
No, no, the Montreal steak. Seasoning and everything else.
- [33:53]
John Holmberg
I got this from the Kansas City Steak. You can order it online, but this is the best seasoning I've ever had. Okay, maybe we should. Maybe you should get some steak sometime. Yeah, I like meat. Okay. What are you doing? I'm just rehabbing in between. I'm in a halfway house here. I was in a fight a few years ago and they let me loose, but I gotta kinda wait it out here. What are you? What are you? You're the cannibal. I know you. No, thanks. Cannibals. The America I knew and loved wanted to kill all cannibals. It was just a. It was. Sure, sure. I mean, even back when people were fight integration of races and civil rights, you could get a Klansman and Malcolm X in a room and say, all right, let's find something we all agree on. And I would start with, the cannibals all need to die. Like, oh, yeah, Malcolm. They would shake hands like, that's a deal. There was no question about it.
- [34:49]
Brett
Be good.
- [34:52]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Malcolm would be like, I agree. My enemy's gonna say, kill all cannibals. And the clansmen were like that, right? Like, all right. They would finally have a place to building block.
- [35:02]
Brett
High five.
- [35:02]
John Holmberg
Yeah. About your robe. You got your black hand all over my white robe. You got your white robe on my black wig like a Reese's Cup. But they agreed wholeheartedly. The cannibals needed to die. And now it's divided somehow. There's a group of people that are like, no, he's got. He's been rehabilitated. I don't believe that. Anyway. It doesn't make sense to me. The world doesn't make any sense at all.
- [35:34]
Brett
No.
- [35:35]
John Holmberg
He's got an apartment hunt soon. He's got to go out. And what's he looking for? You know, parks, neighborhoods, a lot of people. You know, friendly neighbors, nice kitchen. Yeah, I. Would you be friendly or, I mean, Brady, You'd.
- [35:51]
Brett
Brady would.
- [35:52]
John Holmberg
Holy mother. You get so fast.
- [35:57]
Brady
The biggest mistake I made was going over there, eating an apple right in his mouth.
- [36:03]
John Holmberg
Tie my shoe. I'll just keep the apple in my mouth. You'd answer the door for the cannibal before he even knocked because you'd see him in that weird screen door that only you have, except for in bad neighborhoods where they put up security doors. Yours isn't that bad, but you have that screen door to watch for new friends. Oh, a new colored friend.
- [36:25]
Brady
Yay.
- [36:26]
John Holmberg
This is Gilbert at its finest. Hi, my name's Brady. Wanna come in and eat something? You have no idea, man. Yes, I do. God damn, you are adorable. Can you oink for me a couple of times? Sure. Just run around on all fours for a bit. Tyree, look at me. Hold on. My PO's outside. He's watching you gotta put your clothes back on. Stop oinking for me. I was having the time of my life. Tyree, come over tomorrow, new friend. You would get all those seasoning heat up in your Want to drink, Tyree? Sure. Right over there and go there got tons.
- [37:00]
Brady
You got a lot of rubs in the cupboard.
- [37:02]
John Holmberg
Oh, man, your fridge is just filled with rubs and sauces. Look at that. Barbecue. God damn. You want to barbecue something? Yes, I do. You're my bestest new friend. Yep. You'd be eating Brady. Would be Brady. Have that guy back on cannibalism in 48 hours. There's something I gotta tell you first. Let's watch a show together. Jack Reacher. You like Jack Reacher, right?
- [37:34]
Brady
Boy, that's a big pit we dug there.
- [37:36]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that felt like 250 pounds of turkeys. Yeah, one turkey. What? You got pretty eyes. He's like the big bad wolf, for Christ's sake. Anyway, he's free, so enjoy that. I used to love those days.
- [37:55]
Brett
Somebody's been sleeping in my bed.
- [37:58]
John Holmberg
Oh, my. Daddy. You realize you've allowed a cannibal in our home again? He's a good guy. Rehabilitated even. Brady and his kindness to neighbors probably would be standoffish to Tyree, but maybe not. Come on. He's not gonna do it again.
- [38:20]
Brady
Be over it.
- [38:20]
John Holmberg
Yeah, Brady would. Brady would say that stupid thing of like, if it's my time to go. Oh, for Christ's sake. Nobody says that about cannibalism. That's part of God's plan. Your God sucks. Part of God's plan was that it all ended 60 years in when my neighbor ate my body in a drug rage. That's part of God's plan, huh? Well, God sucks. Anyway, good luck, all you. And if you're a cannibal out there and you're a little nervous and you want to defend yourself, homeburger@98kupd.com I'll gladly answer your questions. Cannibals. I'm going to try. I'll say that right now. I'm pretty sure again, we always say the city of 5 million people. How many of them have probably tasted human flesh on purpose and not living like in a sex act where you accidentally bit somebody, you fried it up, you seasoned it, you ate it. Zero. I'm going to say zero. In our city, not many people are into that. Now, we do have some of those Lost Boys of the Sudan, and I'm not sure if they dabbled in starvation moments or if there's anybody from that soccer Team that was in the Andes for a few days. They could be living here. Those are extreme. I'm just saying. Just on a Friday night, on a whim, decided to chow down on another fella. Pretty sure we're zeroed out on that. Thank God for that. Another reason. The city's great. Los Angeles, not so much. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? 5 8, 5, 9800. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up.
- [39:50]
Dick Toledo
It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee.
- [39:54]
John Holmberg
I have heard enough of morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Oops. I mistimed my last bite. I thought it'd be done by now. Bear with me.
- [40:18]
Brett
Let's just have a moment of silence for a friend.
- [40:22]
John Holmberg
There we go. Thanks. Miles to nowhere. Beautiful Wednesday morning. If you're flying today, you're gonna crash. It's. I used to say it all the time. You're gonna run into something. We just had a electrical fire just now. You smell that? Are we crashing? You smell that? Yeah.
- [40:40]
Brady
A new smell, I think.
- [40:42]
John Holmberg
That's right. It's a new smell.
- [40:44]
Brady
It smells like. I think it's coming from Toledo's.
- [40:50]
John Holmberg
Is he got a hibachi in there? What are you doing?
- [40:52]
Brady
Probably coffee flavoring or something that smells.
- [40:54]
John Holmberg
Like they flavor coffee. Electrical fire. No, no. You don't have anything cooking, do you smell it? I think it's a small fire brewing. Something just popped. Anyway, we'll get an electrician in here if we can afford Toledo.
- [41:08]
Brett
I doubt it.
- [41:08]
John Holmberg
Me too. He feels I just like that. I was like, you guys smell that? Brady looked at me like a Russian who just learned English. Yes. A new smell. Yeah, right. That's what you'd say when you smell it. As far as. There it is again. As far as the. That's bad. The cannibal goes. This guy Justin Scudella has the best idea I've ever seen. Feed the child molesters in the prison system to the cannibals. Cannibals never get out. Child molesters go away. Put them all in the same place. Great idea. So, John, the problem is the America you grew up in would have killed that cannibal. And now we won't. And it's the moment the public gave itself over to the Internet and social media. Suddenly a fringe group isn't such a small voice. That kind of crazy used to get dragged into the forest and never come back because Society had standards. What the hell did this world coming to? To quote the great Jackie Gleason, whose birthday it is today, says, remember that gay German cannibal that Ramstein wrote Mine Teal about? Apparently he became a vegetarian when he was in prison. Then again, he probably was just as insufferable as the type who lectures you that meat is murder and how his impossible burger tastes just like the real thing. That's true. He was probably trying to take his sage burgers and whatever he was cooking with sunflowers and dandelions, mashing it up and making it look like a human meat burger. It tastes just like people, only it's better for the environment. So this needs to be a test with the cannibal. Kind of like when they do those test taste testings, when they get people, they. Lots of food in front of them. Like when Brady goes down to that ditch by his house and eats apple pies. They see which ones they like, which one they don't. They judge and they have a will you eat? People test for the rehabilitated cannibals. They put a bunch of different foods in front of them, like jello cups and french fries and then mystery meat. If they even reach for mystery meat, they're. They're going back into the joint. That's a good idea. They have to be better than that. Somebody also said, what would you rather have move in next door to you? A cannibal that has to report or a family with five kids? Well, one I can control. The cannibal.
- [43:22]
Brett
Yeah, I'll take.
- [43:22]
John Holmberg
The last thing I want is a family of five living next door to me. Good Christmas. And that's a family of seven. Yuck. No. Yeah, I would take. I would take two. Two kids maximum living next door to me. And even still, I'm thinking about getting out of that neighborhood. The cannibal living next door to me, I. I assume that's always going to be one on one. I can handle that. I scream at kids for walking on my walls and messing around with stuff or ringing my doorbells or baseball I.
- [43:58]
Brett
Can keep an eye on. You know, he's gonna do.
- [44:01]
John Holmberg
Know what? Yeah, the kids are unpredictable cannibals. I'm like, it's one thing I'm watching for him walking around with a napkin in his shirt with a fork and a knife in his hand like a cartoon character. Now I'm thinking, oh, yeah, I don't need. Yeah, the cannibal would be. I'd rather live next door to the cannibal than a Bunch of a family with a. I'll say a family was an only child. Still not favorable, but there it is. And kind of a dorky one. Like if I see a family move in next to me, I want the only child to be sort of awful looking because that means she doesn't or he doesn't have any friends. You know, just automatically thinking of the people down the street from me that have that. That girl that all of her friends come over all the time.
- [44:43]
Brady
But you automatically would be wondering every time the grill is fired up.
- [44:47]
John Holmberg
Sure, but wandering's better than hearing kids.
- [44:50]
Brett
Yeah, but I'm down there to eat, so it doesn't matter.
- [44:52]
John Holmberg
I didn't get to hear all the pool splashing, the 55 children in the backyard, all that joy, the tick tock challenges going on. Christ. And the videos and the chalk in my cul de sac of terribly stupid things they've drawn all over the road. Yeah, the Cannibal won't be vandalizing everything.
- [45:09]
Brett
Bring on Dahmer.
- [45:10]
John Holmberg
And if he's got it, he's got a barbecue going. And it's not me. I'm fine with that. It's when you don't smell the barbecue because you're the barbecue, that's when you gotta worry. The cannibal I can keep an eye on. So, yeah, easy answer there. Give me the cannibal, give me the sex offender way before you give me a family with five kids. Yikes. I'd join Al Qaeda before I'd lived next door to a family with five children. You know. Annoying. That family's got to be, man. Oh, oh. We just cherish children. We're not gonna get along at all. And they'd be talky because they're. They're never around adults. Oh, no, no, thank you. Out. Cannibals are better than parents, I think as far as just society goes.
- [46:01]
Brady
Quieter.
- [46:03]
John Holmberg
Yeah, but I don't want, like, I don't want to. I don't want neighbors to move in with like great looking sons, you know, because parties. And they'll have. Yeah, they'll be popular and people will be over all the time and the cars will be parked wrong. And Cannibal's not gonna have a lot of visitors. He's gonna be kind of isolated over there. If he does have visitors, I'd keep an eye on how long that car sitting in the driveway. And if it ever goes into the garage, I'll know exactly what happened. It seems like they had a house guest there for three or four days there. Tyree Yeah, I had some family over. Can I meet him? Yeah, they're out right now. Oh. But they left their car. They take a long walk. Yeah. Anyway, I gotta go back inside for a little bit. Something burning? Yeah. Bye, Tyree. It's better than that knock on the door or the dad standing next to the 13 year old. Brayden. Tell Mr. Humbert you're sorry. Sorry. Shot your window out with my BB gun. You little prick. We'll pay for it, don't worry. Idiot. Sorry I went in your backyard. Yeah. What are you doing back there? My baseball went over there. Yeah, that would imply that kids played baseball nowadays outside instead of on. Yeah, sorry I stole from your garage fridge. That's more than likely what would happen. But I want a kid next door that's goofy looking, maybe a little rotund.
- [47:26]
Brady
I've had to toss a couple of balls over the fence.
- [47:29]
John Holmberg
Sure, I'll do one or two, but I mean it gets to be a habit when there's five kids. I want one of those knock kneed, duck toed weird kids that you know isn't athletic. So there's not gonna be any sports going on in the cul de sac. And if there are, they'd be hilarious trying to watch that monster run around like that thing that used to chase Bugs Bunny after it at eight pills. That's the kind of kids I like. If it's not mentally challenged or physically deformed, I'm not interested in your healthy kids living by me. Bring on the cannibal. I was, I was seeing this yesterday. Here's another thing that us guys have to worry of. This is a total girl thing. And it has come up in my home in the past. Although kind of not a thing now. You got to put us. You got to stomp this down. They're now calling it stream cheating. You are a stream cheating husband. And if you're a guy and this bothers you, you're the biggest pussy on the planet. It's basically when you watch a show without her and evidently they're calling it. Some women are saying that it's a betrayal. Oh my God. Another reason to be gay. The world of modern relationship. It's a crime that can even test the strongest couples watching show is just shows is a way for us to bond. We don't want to watch Bridgerton. It kind of goes back to the argument of like no man has ever picketed to try to get into a Curves facility. But women will picket an all male gym because they want in with our stuff. I Want to watch Shoresy? If you want to watch Shoresy, that's great. We'll watch that. But I don't want to watch the girl shows you watch. I don't want to watch those. We're bonding. No, you're bonding. I'm bored.
- [49:18]
Brady
Well, that's what we find, the commonality, though, they, you know, like, sure, Ronnie watches stuff completely opposite of what I watch.
- [49:26]
John Holmberg
Right.
- [49:27]
Brady
But every once in a while you find that. Oh, that movie. I'd watch that one.
- [49:31]
John Holmberg
A movie.
- [49:32]
Brady
And I'm like, okay, I'll watch that. But then.
- [49:35]
John Holmberg
But we're talking. You're talking about a movie that's two hours. I'm talking about, like a. Like you get involved in a TV show.
- [49:40]
Brady
Yeah, that's kind of fun.
- [49:42]
John Holmberg
Sure. But if you watch it without them, suddenly it's cheating trail. Let's drop the word betrayal ahead of.
- [49:50]
Brady
Me by two episodes.
- [49:51]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I watched some of the. I was up late last night. You went to bed at 9. I watched a few episodes of this. Pretty good. You swap? I wanted to watch that with you. Why?
- [50:01]
Brett
It's still there. Turn it on.
- [50:03]
John Holmberg
Same thing. We weren't bonding. You were on the couch. I was on my phone playing, you know. Bruno Bear. I love Bruno Bear.
- [50:13]
Brett
It was with O.J. same thing. You watched it without me? I'm like, yeah, it's still on Netflix.
- [50:17]
John Holmberg
Betrayal.
- [50:18]
Brett
Whenever you want. That wasn't betrayal. She didn't care that much.
- [50:20]
John Holmberg
It was just kind of like. She called lawyers.
- [50:22]
Brett
Yeah, I mean.
- [50:24]
John Holmberg
Hey, it's Kevin Rowe. What's going on, Kevin? She's leaving me. I did an Internet stream. Betrayal.
- [50:31]
Brett
I betrayed her.
- [50:32]
Brady
I started LA suits without her.
- [50:34]
John Holmberg
I won't defend you. I won't do it. That's the most betrayal. Why didn't you just have sex with a teenager? Gosh. I guess you're right, Kevin. It is betrayal. Throw that on us ladies. That it's a betrayal. You're a little bothered by it. You could. Like Brett said, you can watch that show. If I'm home all day by myself and nobody's there, I'm going to kick on a show. What's wrong with that? Why can't I have entertainment alone?
- [50:59]
Brady
Oh, you should have to wait for me.
- [51:02]
John Holmberg
Why?
- [51:03]
Brady
Because if she jumped ahead two episodes, would you be mad?
- [51:07]
John Holmberg
No.
- [51:08]
Brady
Nope.
- [51:08]
John Holmberg
I can catch up. And also, I want to watch some stuff where within the first minute or two. I'm not hearing. Who's that guy? What's that? You were on your phone. Pay attention. Well, I don't. I can Ask questions. Jesus Christ. I watched this earlier today, so I know who everybody is. You watched without me? Yeah. Sydney Sweeney's in it. She gets naked. I didn't want to be. I didn't want you to see how I react to that naturally. It's called Netflix adultery. Don't start putting weight on this. Ladies, you got to get over this one right away. There's already too many. You realize the Japanese are getting real close to that sex doll being pretty perfect. You know what? She'll never complain about what you watched earlier in the day. And she can download it and have it in her system within, like, a minute.
- [51:57]
Brett
And if you're suffering from that, just hang yourself. You're a pussy.
- [52:00]
John Holmberg
Yeah. How about a conversation? Let's go have a chat. Like, tell me about what you're thinking rather than whether or not I should watch Invincible with you and not the movie, the cartoon show. It's boring. And that's the worst part. When you get into a show like, all right, we'll watch this together. And then you're sitting there watching it, and one of the two of you is miserable. This sucks. And the other one likes it. Now, there's some sort of an offensive, like, well, you think my stuff's dumb. And then you have to go in separate spaces to, like this. You gotta find time to watch one by yourself because you're interested and it's almost like you're angry, but you're not. It's causing a problem. Old fashioned TV was better where it was just on when it was on. Well, I like it, so I'm gonna watch it. All right, I'll go in the other room. You're not even gonna spend time with me. You're watching something stupid.
- [52:50]
Brett
Yeah, we're not gonna talk.
- [52:53]
John Holmberg
I'm gonna go. Yeah, I'm gonna go watch some, like, awesome, cool dude stuff. Well, you go do that, you won't even spend time with me.
- [53:01]
Brett
I don't want to watch Bridgerton smoking the Bandit again.
- [53:05]
John Holmberg
Yes. Because it gets me every time. If a woman left the room during smoking the Bandit, every guy would be like, awesome. Now I can get. I don't have to listen. Pause it. Pause Smokey and the Bandit. I'll tell you what's gonna happen. That's when the thing, Sheriff Little comes out and he says he looks a lot taller on the radio. And they go, what's that world commentary like, you're not missing much, but you're not gonna laugh anyway. Really? We're watching Barbed Wire? Yeah, it was when she Was in her prime. Yeah, the acting's terrible and the story's dumb, but watch her bounce around. Pam Anderson's onto something here. Let's watch the Last Showgirl, otherwise known as the horrors of Aging. No. Why do I want to watch Pam Anderson struggle with her looks when I've got the time vault here in Barbed Wire? You want to watch with me? No, because I can't say what I'm thinking. Man, I wish Pam Anderson would put some makeup on. It's brave and all that, but come on. She's still aging really well.
- [54:08]
Brett
We're brave to watch it, but come.
- [54:09]
John Holmberg
On, I don't need to see her and Jamie Lee Curtis complaining about being old ladies still trying. That's terrifying. You shouldn't want to watch that either. It's your future. Being alone and working in some bar. I mean, come on. That's. That's. That's horrifying. Remember what it used to be like when you were relevant? Come on. Want me to sit here and talk to you during that? No, no, no, no, no. Let's watch I Am Joe Frazier. It's a great documentary. I want to watch this. I'll go in the other room. Netflix Betrayal. Don't. Relationships aren't easy. For the most part, when it comes to finding entertaining things together anyway, the best. Can you imagine our grandparents, One television in the house? That's when men used to say, we're watching what I want. My dad used to do that. It's my house, my tv. We watch what I want to watch. And he just flat out, oh, yeah. In the middle of whatever it was.
- [55:10]
Brady
Dad would come home or they got the. Their priority on tv.
- [55:16]
John Holmberg
The only reason.
- [55:17]
Brady
It's like. It's like at a club. You kids got to get out, you know?
- [55:20]
John Holmberg
Yeah. The only off the court I knew who Marlon Perkins was is because no matter what I was watching, Marlon Perkins was on. My dad was watching it. Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom was something I would have never sat through if it weren't for my dad's rule of it's my tv. I paid for everything. You're watching what I want to watch my go. And I'd have to turn off, like, something dumb. And he wasn't. You know, he wasn't interested. So it moved my parents.
- [55:47]
Brady
I eventually enjoyed. Wasn't that hard of a cell.
- [55:51]
John Holmberg
I didn't. I thought it was the most boring. And I also had you go back and look and. No, I would watch, and I would have logical questions as a. How did the cameraman get ahead of that thing. If Jim's just now getting to the tunnel. Somebody had to place that camera in that snake's den. Shut up. All right. You didn't think of that. And now Jim is gonna see. Oh, he's found the snake. Like, no, the cameraman found it before. There's a camera in the snake.
- [56:15]
Brady
Product placement.
- [56:16]
John Holmberg
Yeah, it' the snake hole. And it's looking from the snake's perspective. Someone was already in there. Shut up. Okay. Just saying. You're not smart. That's all. Wildlife. I remember that one. There was a grizzly bear that Jim stumbled upon, and the cameraman was walking around, like, by the bear. Like, they're getting close shots of the bear's arm, and he's standing up, and I'm like, that cameraman's within, like, a foot of that thing. And Jim's like, 30ft away with us throwing stuff. He's the brave one, and somehow or another. Oh, there you go, Brett. You found it. All right. Get away from the tv. Leave it. This. This song right here makes me get away from the television because I would reach up and turn it with my hands. It's wild. Wild world. Wild world. Brought to you by Mutual of Omaha. All right, sit down. Shut up. This is going to be good stuff. Starring Marlon Perkins. He's the director of the St. Louis Zoo. I didn't know that. There's your boy Jim Fowler, the guy who did everything the man. All right, to you. I also thought. This one's called Tuskers below, and they're following some elephants around. Wow. What an intro this thing is. 20. 20 minutes of the show is an intro. Jesus Christ. How many times I get to see that indie?
- [57:39]
Brady
The company that pays.
- [57:42]
John Holmberg
They just did all this. They're going back to the title cards twice.
- [57:45]
Brady
They just looped it.
- [57:46]
John Holmberg
Nope.
- [57:47]
Brett
No, it's the intro.
- [57:49]
John Holmberg
Beginning of the show is way too long.
- [57:51]
Brett
Why do they need a writer on this show?
- [57:53]
John Holmberg
Well, Marlon had to know what to say. Oh, come on. The real heroes of the show are the cameramen. They never, ever get credit. Jesus, this is hell of an interesting.
- [58:03]
Brady
Drinking elephants with a chunk.
- [58:07]
John Holmberg
Yeah. And then they had a bunch of savages piling stuff in boxes. Yeah. Bigger question is, who had to be murdered for the director of the St. Louis Zoo to go over to Congo and start running stuff? He was always in Africa. I'm like, why is this St. Louis Zoo guy got so much cash? What's he hiding? We make a fortune in St. Louis Zoo. So we fly over to Africa on the reg and start messing with their beasts.
- [58:35]
Brady
Jack Hanaway was on the road a lot.
- [58:37]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Because they were recruiting, stealing animals from, you know, trading. No, not trading, stealing. When they go to Africa, there's no trading. We've learned that they didn't trade a thing with Africa. St. Louis Zoo. What are they trading with Africa? Cardinal hats.
- [58:53]
Brady
That's what they do now.
- [58:54]
Brett
Marlin wrestling in anaconda.
- [58:56]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that happened. And look where the cameraman is. Anaconda is very painful.
- [59:03]
Dick Toledo
Got him.
- [59:05]
John Holmberg
He was already tied to a rope. What do you mean got him? There's a rope around the anaconda's head. Oh, marlin's down. Okay. The director of the St. Louis Zoo was crazy, but we had to watch that. That was a rule. If that. If that happened, if this noise. If this happened, I had to walk away from the TV because there's a risk I'd turn it or stand in the way or something.
- [59:34]
Brett
Man, this is a hell of a fight here.
- [59:36]
Brady
Yeah.
- [59:40]
John Holmberg
It'S head's tied up. That's marlin. We can't move fast enough to avoid you. The greatest danger now Jim's in trouble. They're faking. They're faking that Jim's being stuff.
- [59:55]
Brett
It's like the first reality TV show.
- [59:57]
John Holmberg
My dad used to believe this happened, and I'm assuming Brady and Torp did too.
- [60:02]
Brett
Oh, you know.
- [60:03]
Brady
Oh, yeah, we bought it too.
- [60:05]
John Holmberg
I, at the tender age of five, was like, this is garbage, by the way. Multiplied in water. Get out of the water, you idiots. It's knee deep. This is the type of stuff that would make my dad go get in the other room. Why are they laying in the water with that thing when they could just put it down and leave? And there's marlin face to face with the anaconda. It's dead, by the way. He's got Marley. He's got married. It's tied to a rope. Okay. There's better acting in Ed woods in that movie. And you and your dad were probably high five. And my dad wished you were his kid, by the way.
- [60:47]
Brett
Get him, Maron.
- [60:48]
John Holmberg
Why can't you just look? That water is ankle deep. They've been laying down in it with an anaconda the whole time. He's got marlin. Well, if you left him alone. And what was the purpose of grabbing him in the first place? This is why he said if it's.
- [61:03]
Brady
A absolute emergency, there'd be five guys in there.
- [61:07]
John Holmberg
Absolutely. It's because the snake is, A, dead already, and B, they're just play Pretending that it's coiling them up. You're not getting out of that.
- [61:15]
Brett
Oh, there goes Marlin again.
- [61:16]
John Holmberg
The director of the St. Louis Zoo isn't skilled enough to unfurl an anaconda in Africa. He's in St. Louis most of the time. Worst thing he's got to deal with is East St. Louis. If he navigates through that, it's the most dangerous.
- [61:29]
Brett
That's more dangerous than an anaconda.
- [61:31]
John Holmberg
Somebody had to tie a rope to that thing's head before this was shot. And they're playing like these. That's the stupidest thing. But I used to watch TV with my dad and do this kind of stuff for this terrible show. You're. You're torp. And you would have hated me going, you guys are idiots for thinking this is a thing. He broke away, got out. Yeah, yeah. You have the IQ of a small poodle to believe that any of this happened. I don't even believe it's in Africa, to be honest. With. With it. There's something. Something. Check out H's Morning Sickness podcast at 98kupd.com Hberg's Morning Sickness. It might be somewhere in Nebraska.
- [62:13]
Brady
Be in South America.
- [62:14]
John Holmberg
No, no, it's in Nebraska. Br. They're.
- [62:17]
Brett
They're putting them in a bag now too.
- [62:18]
John Holmberg
St. Louis Zoo wasn't pulling that kind of cash or. Oh, Jim got hit. The bag cut Jim's hand. You better hack that thing.
- [62:25]
Brett
He's got a big ass knife on him. Why didn't he, like, try to hack that thing up when it's like killing Marlon?
- [62:31]
John Holmberg
Cuz it' dad.
- [62:32]
Brett
Unbelievable.
- [62:35]
John Holmberg
So this is why moms used to just go do their own thing and dads would watch TV by themselves. In my house, we watch what I want. And then we got that second tv. I remember sometimes my mom would be watching something dumb. They'd be arguing and I'd be in my room watching television. My dad would come in there and what are you doing? Nothing. Just watching some baseball. Yeah. And then I'd hear from my waterbed, like, he's laying down. What's he doing in here? Here. What else is on? Like, dad, turn it a. But I was watching. Turn it. Your mother's watching something in the other room. And I'd have to turn the channel form in my room, my house, I guess. Good.
- [63:13]
Brady
Follow up to Marlon Perkins with Jacques Cousteau.
- [63:17]
John Holmberg
Another fake. Yeah, Yeah. I couldn't. My dad wasn't that much into the sea thing. He. For some reason, Jacques Cousteau was. That's dumb. Like, he was. Suddenly, he's me. So he's like, that didn't happen. You can't wrestle a shark like that. Marlon Perkins, that dude was doing it. He believed that because I think deep down he thought someday that would be him. I often have to think back when I was, like, 5. My dad was 30, so he still had dreams and aspirations that two children destroyed, and he had to just go on with his construction life. That he probably was his second choice at best. But he probably wanted to be, like, an outdoor hunts hunter and, like, running around with Marlon Perkins wrestling anacondas. But he had two kids wreck his life.
- [64:00]
Brady
And Marty Stoer.
- [64:02]
John Holmberg
Marty Stouffer was the one that used to pick up bear poop all the time. That's what you got to do. You track them. Can't you just. You got to see if it's fresh. Really, you do. You can't just kick that. You got to squish it around in your hands and smell it. Yeah. I'm pretty sure on the bear trail, if you find bear poop, that's enough for me. I don't need to pick it up. Marty Stouffer would. That's why he's an idiot and I'm not. Go. Go watch something else in your room.
- [64:26]
Brady
Come on, wise guy.
- [64:28]
John Holmberg
Yeah, my dad bought me a TV so I'd stop talking about. But now we've got Netflix Betrayal. Netflix beach for don't throw that bomb at anybody. Give your horn a toggle. Watching Charsy.
- [64:46]
Brett
The bigger pet peeve is when you're watching something that you like, and the girlfriend says, I don't like this, but she's been paying attention. Paying no attention the whole time on her phone.
- [64:56]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [64:56]
Brett
And just been bitching about it, talking.
- [64:58]
John Holmberg
Complaining, and then, like, just sitting in there with, you know, and then putting that vibe out that she hates it. Something you like, and you gotta sit. And then if you start watching it without her. Are you watching that show without me? Yes.
- [65:11]
Brady
Are. Sometimes. We'll get to the point. Like, the recap. Do you watch the recap? I skip the recap sometimes if I've been following it, you know, like the.
- [65:20]
Brett
Next day, it's been a season away.
- [65:22]
Brady
Like, yeah, one thing, but, like, every, you know, episode or whatever, I skipped the, like, White Orchid in the intro.
- [65:29]
John Holmberg
White Orchid's got a lot going on with the past seasons that they're not really making obvious. So it's becoming this whole, like, puzzle. I just. I play Bruno Bear now. I'm like, okay, I'll pay Attention to the poor. I'm not that into it, but I don't care if you watch. If you're enjoying yourself, you're like, God, I watched a great show today. I'm like, did you? That's awesome. Tell me about it. Would you watch it again? That's something. But suddenly it's like, if it's like, you know, it's like you're beaten off to an ex girlfriend if you watch a TV show by yourself. We were gonna watch that together. You didn't do that with me, like, no, we can still watch it. I'll watch again. I watch plenty of reruns. It's not the same.
- [66:09]
Brett
I can stick it there too.
- [66:10]
John Holmberg
You. Netflix betrayed me. Okay, I'm sorry. I guess. I don't know. I don't know if I can go on. We should cancel our subscription. All right. Guess we can get rid of Netflix. We still have Paramount. This guy says, the guy wrestling the anaconda. That was just a clip of what happens in the Obama's bedroom every night. Big Mike gets excited, all right? There's no reason to politicize Marlon Perkins. Obama's not wrestling the anaconda. He can't fight that thing off. Big Mike wants it, Big Mike gets it anyway. Netflix, betrayal. So my wife was just complaining about this to me the other day. She said, why don't you make love to me like they do in the movies? So I did it. But evidently the movies I watch are not what she meant. Yeah, well, she's not walking right. That's a good point. Yeah. My dad had all control of the tv. And Keith says, john, in fairness, your dad didn't have two kids wreck his life. Don't be. Don't say that. He had one kid wreck his life, and then you showed up and helped out. That's true. One child ruined his life, and the other one made life worth living. I would just get in the way every once in a while of the Mutual of Omaha with a little reality check for the old man. It's tough when a 4 year old's like, you believe this? When he's buying it. I still believed in Santa Claus. And I'm watching Mutual of Omaha looking at my dad like, are you the. You the dumbest mother alive? You think that. You think that that guy, that old man is fighting a snake the size of our bed? What? Shout out Patch. Marlon Perkins, the director of St. Louis Zoo, he knows what he's doing. So this is like something he deals with in the St. Louis Zoo pretty regularly. Anaconda fights. He's trained. All right, I'm gonna go do four year old stuff in another room and worry about you dropping dead in front of me. From stupid. Jim wandered over to the den of hyenas that no one had ever seen before. Except the cameraman who set up three cameras in the den. Right. We don't talk about him. He's the brave one. I don't get it. I mentioned it earlier. If you are flying today, you're gonna crash the. My old rule was that if you've seen an air travel incident on TV somewhere in the world, you had three free months of flying without incident. They used to buckle that down, used to clean it up. The FAA used to clean it up. They'd have a problem. And then, like, no problem. Everything got extra attention for a little while. Now it seems like people are going out of the way to cause trouble. I'm starting to think it might be a conspiracy. Like somebody's doing, like, this is getting done on purpose. Yesterday, Southwest Airlines flight landing at Midway in Chicago. Tires touch the Runway and then the plane bounces right back up and flies away again because some dude who had been told not to do it several times just drove across the Runway. I have to wonder if some of this is intentional, because even this morning, there's another one. An American Airlines plane had to do something similar. Used to be an airline incident would make it so it's like, all right, all right, mind your P's and Q's. We got a little sloppy there for a second. It's like a fumble in football. Running back fumbles. He gets real, you know, gets that ball up there. I fumbled once. I can't do that. And he fumbles twice. He's out of the game. You button that down. But now another one's gone out. That dude that. That pilot, Sully Sullenberger yesterday. And he needs an award because that Southwest Airlines pilot saved hundreds of lives by having the. I don't know how fast. He saw that other plane just start to cross the Runway and realize, I got to bring this bird back up. I got to go out of whatever it is. Flaps have to go up. Yoke. We get speed. We have to do everything again. Like, we're taking off in a matter of like, two seconds of recognizing. I can't go full reverse. I'm going to crash.
- [70:12]
Brett
And Midway's a tiny airport, too. You gotta move.
- [70:14]
John Holmberg
That pilot is heroic. And the video is horrible. Horrifying. I had one time, a plane at sky harbor, when we were going over And I remember coming. You know, you Basically take the 202 in. You're on the river, but I recognize all the freeways. I go, there's a 202 now. Now we're on the 101. There's that. And you cross over. And right about where Sloan park is, where the Cubs stadium is, right before you get into Tempe and start seeing the buildings and the lake, I'm like, we're pretty high still. I've flown this enough to know we're up too high. And then we start dropping real fast, and we get to the 143, and I'm like, no, I've flown this. We're way high. We're still. We're gonna have to throw this bird onto the earth in a second. And we're too high, and we get real close to the ground and then take off again. And I'm like, what in the world is going on? And everybody. I was telling the guy next to me, I'm like, that was weird. We were. That we were landing. I got to take. I live here. I've flown into Phoenix a billion times. We were landing. It flew around for 15 minutes, did it again, landed. Get out. And I was behind the pilots. And I'm like, what was that? He goes, I didn't like it. Like, you didn't what? You don't like the approach? Oh, isn't that your fault? Isn't like. Shouldn't you say, I made a mistake? I didn't like. It is like, they didn't move the Runway on you. Like, it's always in the same place. I didn't like. I didn't like what I was doing.
- [71:45]
Brady
Get out of here. Thanks for flying.
- [71:47]
John Holmberg
Quit asking so many questions, you prick.
- [71:48]
Brett
I'm going to the bar.
- [71:50]
John Holmberg
I have too many questions. Like, what? What happened there, chief? Hey, Capping. I remember as I was getting on a plane, he was right in front of me. Hey, quick question for us. Would have been nice for you to pop up on the screen and tell us how come we didn't land that time. How close were we to die in. You weren't. I didn't like what I was doing. I was messing around, playing Bruno Barrett. I kind of got lost on Bruno Bear for a second. I realized we were way too high. I'm like, I told you we were too high. I'm in row 22. But that dude yesterday for Southwest Airlines. Somebody needs accommodations. And I don't know what that dude was thinking driving across the Runway while that was happening. But My God.
- [72:29]
Brady
His boss was breathing down his neck. We gotta get out of here.
- [72:32]
Brett
Yeah, it's exactly what happened.
- [72:34]
John Holmberg
Really? The boss can make you cross in front of a 737. Just go. Yeah, it's green. What do you think I'm paying you for? Hurry up. You can make it. You look both ways. That's an old rule, right? You're in your tiny plane and you look both ways. If I'm in a smart car and I'm getting out in a bunch of semis are going by, I'm extra diligent about not going. I better not. I better wait this one out. That plane looks real close. And they come up on you quick, you know, going 200 miles an hour. No. And somebody in the passenger seat. Hurry up.
- [73:09]
Brady
Yeah, moving at. You know how fast you think that.
- [73:13]
John Holmberg
There was somebody in the passenger seat nagging him. And he goes, fine, I'll go.
- [73:16]
Brett
I think probably his wife.
- [73:18]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Christ.
- [73:19]
Brett
I'm just going. If they hit us, fine.
- [73:21]
John Holmberg
She probably brought up. You know, I. I saw that you've been watching that show Sex Life on Netflix without me. Is there a reason that you're betraying me? Oh, Christ. I'm gonna drive this thing right on another I'm kill a couple hundred people. Get rid of her. That's a Netflix betrayal unit. Sweet relief. Sorry. 147 passengers on that plane. I had to do it. She brought up something called Netflix betrayal. I don't want to live like this.
- [73:52]
Brett
Half the guys on the plane would understand.
- [73:53]
John Holmberg
We get it. We get it. No problem. It was worth sacrificing my life. I know. I was gonna land and come home and deal with Netflix betrayal as well. So while you were out on the road in San Antonio, did you. You Netflix without me? Yeah, I watched a couple of shows and more. Hulu. I was a new season of Shores. Yeah, I watched first Search. You watched the first. I love sh. These business trips with these poor providers. I will never Netflix again. We're gonna have, like, facilities opening up in Wickenburg for dudes who have streaming addictions. I can't. I can't stream. I don't. I stream without her. I stream with her. I'm just always streaming cereal. I got a problem. You're addicted to watching shows without your wife. Yeah, I know. I have that huge problem of wanting to enjoy a program. I don't know why I'm doing this. What you need is someone sitting next to you asking questions about who all these people are within three to five seconds of the show. Starting now. We all know you've watched just as much as her, and you're unaware of who these characters are yet, too, but she feels the need to ask who they are immediately. And that is love. Oh, God. What's that guy? I've watched as much as you. I've watched the exact same amount as you. I think it's a new character they haven't introduced yet. Was he in the last episode? Wasn't that the guy? Wasn't he in an old episode of Law and Order? Probably. Everyone's been in Law. Shut up. I'm gonna look him up on IMDb good. Oh, that's who that is. What? Just out of the blue and starts.
- [75:28]
Brett
Putting the phone in front of your face?
- [75:30]
John Holmberg
Remember we watched him. He was in that Wildlings movie. No, I don't remember that. Maybe I watched that without you. What? Betrayal.
- [75:40]
Brett
You cheating whore.
- [75:41]
John Holmberg
You whore. I'm taking that remote control away from you before you give it herpes. Silly. The whole world's gone mad. Maybe I'd rather live with a cannibal than Netflix. Betrayal being something guys have to talk about. We need to talk. You're watching too many shows without me, and I feel like we're. We're not connecting anymore. Oh, sorry. New Bridgerton's on season three. Oh, Christ, I gotta sit through this. It's the new antiquing. You always want to watch football on Sunday. Why don't you want to do anything with me? You want the honest answer? Well, I always want you to be honest with me because everything you do is kind of lame.
- [76:21]
Brett
Oh, so that's all I am.
- [76:23]
John Holmberg
That's all I am. Sex?
- [76:26]
Brett
Yeah.
- [76:28]
John Holmberg
What did you. What did you think? I enjoy Bridgerton. You think I liked it? Oh, you're crazy. I do that for blowjobs. I sit through Bridgerton. So you come to me happy. I'm not doing that for myself. You didn't enjoy any of it? The romance? No. Frankly, I watched Bridgerton and thought, this can't happen. They wouldn't have allowed a black guy in that house back then. But I can't bring that up to you because logic is not something that applies here. It's reimagining the whole time. Right. Kind of offensive to black people, I think, to reimagine it like what it could have been like for them instead of, you know, that guy's kind of a higher up in the castle. I don't think that was going on. He's banging white women. I know for sure that wasn't going on at Least not acceptably. This show's kind of offensive.
- [77:22]
Brett
People are asking, are we allowed to watch porn without them?
- [77:25]
John Holmberg
Well, I mean, if they want to watch.
- [77:27]
Brett
Or is that pornhub and cheating?
- [77:29]
John Holmberg
Pornhub betrayal. Did you watch the latest Johnny Sins video without me?
- [77:37]
Brady
Yeah, I don't think you run into that too often.
- [77:39]
John Holmberg
No, I don't think. You go ahead and watch that, you pervert. All right. You watch Bridgerton, you pervert. It's the same thing. One is mom porn and one is real porn. I prefer the Oreo. You like the Hydrox. It's not a big deal. 727. What do you got there? Bird on the big board of musical Trees.
- [77:55]
Brett
Wake Up Song brought to you by, of course, our friends over at Action Ride Shop. And it's now time to go check out the brand new store right there on McDowell and Power Row. Especially if you're hitting the Hawes Trailhead. So head on over there. They're open now. Get the bike service, pick up a new bike. Whatever you need bike wise, is going to be over there. And if you need bike stuff in the mesa area a little farther west. And you need the snow stuff, they're going to take care of you at the original store over on Gilbert Road in Southern.
- [78:22]
John Holmberg
Go to actionrideshop.com I think we all need to go down to 7th Avenue today over in the Melrose district and just plop down one of the bars and do like a Bill Brasky for all the lesbians at the bar. Just every once in a while, just raise our beers and go to Diana Taurassi. Watch the tears flow. We're getting through the day as best we can. Now that the goat is no longer on the. You know what I'll. I'll miss about her the most? I'm sorry to bring it back, guys. It's just, it's. It's the cloud. The cloud over the city.
- [78:56]
Brett
Brett bringing me back in.
- [78:57]
John Holmberg
It's the cloud over the town. It's undeniably present. I'm gonna miss her. 33% shooting average is what I'm gonna miss. That's. Last year she was hitting three out of every 10 shots. And I mean, I can remember she's the goat. That's why she's the goat. You hit a third of your shots last year. I mean, that's. Who else is doing that? Three out of 10 on the reg. I mean, consistently three for 10. That's. She's a goat. She's the goat. Shooting percentage was ridiculous. Was absolutely insane. 3 out of 10. It's just insane to put that number.
- [79:42]
Brady
That includes layups, right?
- [79:43]
John Holmberg
Includes all her other shots from the field. Brady. Three for ten was her percentage. It's ridiculous. She's the Goat. I'm sorry. We're all dealing with it. I know I've got a whole groupie out there that are feeling the same way as me. So we're kind of all bonding over this. And the good news is at least it takes our mind off of politics or crazy stuff as we can all kind of sit back and tell stories today. Of all the great moments she gave this city from championships that we all remember. She hit that one shot defense. Remember the defensive play. She. Who was that?
- [80:19]
Brett
You know.
- [80:20]
John Holmberg
Come on. I don't even. I don't have to. Oh, my God. I remember that. I don't have to say the names. You guys. It's all burned into our brains and our memories. The Goat.
- [80:30]
Brett
I need to talk to Susie and see if we can get some. Some help around here. You know what I mean?
- [80:35]
John Holmberg
Yeah. You know what? They should bring us a counselor on for all of us. Because, I mean, this means so much to the city. We should name more streets after her, I think. All right.
- [80:45]
Brett
On the list we got Curtis Blow basketball. Obviously. Static X's Cannibal Kill Switch. Engage all that remains. Typo negative. Aerosmith. Sleep Theory. Mud Vein. Joe Esposito. You're the best for the Goat.
- [80:56]
Dick Toledo
The who?
- [80:57]
Brett
Who are you for?
- [80:58]
John Holmberg
Taurasi. All right. That's too far.
- [81:00]
Brett
Kind of like that one.
- [81:00]
John Holmberg
We know who she is. Let's not act like we're not familiar.
- [81:03]
Brett
The revolting Cox and Exodus.
- [81:06]
John Holmberg
Nobody put Throat Goat up there. I thought the word goat would be involved. Goat whores. Not up there.
- [81:12]
Brett
No.
- [81:13]
John Holmberg
Curtis Blows Basketball is pretty interesting. I don't know if I want to sit through it. It's longer.
- [81:19]
Brett
That's a long song.
- [81:20]
John Holmberg
But I do like the best around. From Joe Esposito. Okay, then we'll knock that out of the yard for the Goat. It's kind of that Lou Gehrig speech he's gonna give today. I consider myself south to be the luckiest last band of all on earth. And I'm gonna be there in tears of me flowing. Just. You're not gonna be able to stop the tears. Hopefully. It's Kleenex night when they bring that, because they won't do it at a Mercury game. They want people to see it. So she'll do her retirement speech at a son's game.
- [81:52]
Brett
That's tonight.
- [81:54]
John Holmberg
I Imagine she'll be standing up, waving tonight, and before it's all over, they'll have some sort of a presentation. Maybe after a game or something like that.
- [82:03]
Brett
Maybe she'll join you guys in the Rah Rah realm, too.
- [82:06]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's the celebration.
- [82:08]
Brady
If they were smart, they'd bring her out with the red panda.
- [82:12]
John Holmberg
Oh, they make the panda juggle plates on her head. Like, you want to talk about the goat? YouTube. The red panda. That's the greatest thing that happens in arenas nowadays. Twice a year, I get to see the red panda at halftime. I've run, run. I'm not kidding. Run from where I've been when I found out tonight's halftime entertainment. The red Panda. Jesus Christ. Put your hot dog down. Let's go back to the seats. The red panda is amazing. That and those Russians that juggle. That lady on that wobbly board, they're tossing her up to the gondola on this.
- [82:47]
Brady
It's amazing.
- [82:47]
John Holmberg
On this gummy stick. It's crazy. But, yeah, juggle up some Taurasi. Get her balancing plates on her melon. The dude that stands on multiple Swiss balls, have you seen him? Oh, yeah. He stands, there's a ball, he gets on top of it, and he's walking like, that's pretty neat. He can stand on the ball. And then he puts another ball on top of that ball, and he gets on it. I'm like, all right. That's something I didn't expect. Then a third ball with a roller in between the two, and he's up on top of that third one. I'm like, I don't even know how you practice that. There he is. There's some falls wobbling around on the practice, but then to be confident enough going, I never fall anymore. I'm going to take this to the arena. And the audition would be like, I stand on balls. I'm like, okay, go ahead. And then at the end, you're just like, wow, I've never seen anything like that. The athleticism in the halftime shows has gotten pretty impressive, but, I mean, still can't mask how amazing it is to have Diana Taurasi. She should have just gone and played in the NBA. She's so great. She could have made that transition real easily, I think. Take her 33% shooting average into the NBA knocked out down to about 4%. Still the goat. Still the goat. It's Joe Esposito, everybody. It's for you, Diana. We're going to name more streets after you. It's 98.
- [84:01]
Dick Toledo
It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee.
- [84:05]
John Holmberg
I have heard enough of this morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. It's the goat day. We're trying to work. We're doing the best we can to get you through this black cloud of an afternoon. Or morning, I guess. I don't know. I can't. I don't even know what time it is. Before we go on with the Brady report, I do want to tell everybody about what's going on. Fitz sent me this yesterday. He's doing a great thing, and it tickles my heart. It's live right now. Our text line. Of course, you guys know if you don't. It's 97936. You can text the word vets V, E T S. You text the word vets, and you can help out pets and homeless vets. We all see the people in the homeless people are the dog. And some veterans that have it helps provide veterinary care for the pets of homeless veterans at the Maricopa Stand down. So they're getting help. They're not on their feet. They've got their beloved pet, which we can all relate to. You got your dog, and, you know, they have hit hard times, and you certainly don't want to, you know, leave the last connection you have with love. You can't just give those away. And the dog doesn't want to give her. There's a guy yesterday got in trouble because he swiped a homeless guy's dog off the streets and wouldn't give it back. And they arrested the guy who took it, and rightfully so. As much as it pains me to see a homeless dog, that homeless dog knows only that situation. He doesn't know that there's a better life. This is his life, and he might love that guy that you think is. Sometimes I see it, and I'm like, oh, I want to swipe that dog up. And I'm like, that dog's in love with that guy. Dogs. Dogs don't care. They just want to be treated well and fed and everything else. And if they're not, hopefully that person will do it. Anyway, Fitz is doing this deal. It's pretty great. And they're basically trying to raise 4,000 total dollars. I'll kick in right now my own self because I think what he's doing is really nice. So 20 years of giving there. Fitz has got his whole thing going on. This is a pretty good one. Pets and homeless vets. You text the word VETS to 97936. And tip of the cap to our guy, Fitz Madrid Fitzgerald. Well done. It's very nice of him to do that. So he says. He said. Also, any business that kicks in on this thing's gonna get a bunch of free praise for putting their money where their mouth is. He'll be happy to help out local businesses and want a little push on the air. That's great. Well, maybe he'll give this local business called Homework's Morning Sickness extra prize push after I drop a bomb on him today. We'll get him up there. That's really cool. That's a really cool thing. And you know what? I do a lot of dog work. I am human of the year of all time this weekend for the Arizona Pet Project Hero Awards and still have not even come close to scratching the surface on how many different angles there are to charities that help out. And the vets and the pets is a big one. So kudos to our boy Fitz for putting that together. Nice job, kids. Hit. Happy to have you. And cool new logo for Fitz, too. He had that drawn up. He's got his little saw that. He's got his little drawing of himself. It's kind of neat. Proud of you. Nice job, Fitz. So get on at 97936, vets. And while Brady starts babbling away with the fun facts, I'll be donating and listening passively. Brady. So don't do anything crazy. It is the Brady Report. Brady reporter.
- [87:26]
Brady
Good Wednesday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.
- [87:28]
John Holmberg
Hi.
- [87:30]
Brady
Happy Letter to an Elder Day Tell a Fairy Tale Day and Black Lives Matter day and Diana Taurasi Day.
- [87:40]
Brett
That's the important one.
- [87:42]
John Holmberg
That's a tough one.
- [87:43]
Brady
Here are your baseless fun facts. At least 600 zombie movies have been released since 1920. And more than half of them have come out in the 21st century.
- [87:55]
Dick Toledo
325 years, is that right?
- [88:00]
John Holmberg
Since 2000. Did I just hear that? Oh, boy. You all right?
- [88:06]
Brady
Let me say it again.
- [88:08]
John Holmberg
Okay. That's what we're trying to figure out.
- [88:09]
Brady
I don't know where I got 325 years.
- [88:11]
John Holmberg
So he didn't say years. 300.
- [88:14]
Dick Toledo
Last 25 years.
- [88:16]
Brady
325 years. I'm like, what?
- [88:18]
John Holmberg
What? I said three. And that's what I said. There's been 300 since. Since 2000. And you stared at me.
- [88:23]
Brett
That's like Netflix Betrayal face over there, man.
- [88:27]
John Holmberg
You saw it.
- [88:28]
Dick Toledo
You glitched him is what you did.
- [88:29]
John Holmberg
So he was right. There's been 300.
- [88:31]
Brady
I thought he said 325 years, man. I don't.
- [88:35]
John Holmberg
He wouldn't say that.
- [88:36]
Brady
Misheard what she said, right?
- [88:39]
John Holmberg
Should have worked around that. Come on. I'm donating out of this one.
- [88:43]
Dick Toledo
You can't do this when.
- [88:45]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I'm passively to donate.
- [88:47]
Dick Toledo
Donate after.
- [88:47]
John Holmberg
I can't miss. Keep of mind.
- [88:49]
Dick Toledo
You're gonna.
- [88:50]
John Holmberg
It's top of mind right now.
- [88:52]
Dick Toledo
I know how that goes with ADD.
- [88:54]
John Holmberg
Oh, yeah.
- [88:55]
Brady
Louis CK, Matt LeBlanc and Joe Rogan were all the same high school graduating class, class of 1985, Newton North High School in Newton, Massachusetts. Twelve years later, John Krasinski and BJ Novak were both graduating 1997. Newton South High School.
- [89:18]
John Holmberg
Actually. I knew they went to school together, which is really weird on the office because it just is a thing.
- [89:24]
Brady
The Jetsons.
- [89:25]
Dick Toledo
Real quick, everybody that's texting vet.
- [89:28]
John Holmberg
Add an S. Yeah, add an S to it.
- [89:30]
Dick Toledo
Add an S. Vets, V, E, T S and you'll get the info that John was talking about.
- [89:34]
John Holmberg
There you go.
- [89:36]
Brady
In the Jetsons, George is 40 years old. Jane is 33.
- [89:40]
John Holmberg
Oh, boy.
- [89:41]
Brady
And their daughter Judy is 16.
- [89:43]
Dick Toledo
17 year old. Way to go, George.
- [89:47]
John Holmberg
Oh, wait a minute.
- [89:48]
Brady
George was 23 or 24. And Jane was either 16 or 17 when she conceived.
- [89:53]
John Holmberg
Nice, Judy.
- [89:56]
Dick Toledo
16 at conception. You're right, Brady.
- [89:58]
John Holmberg
Nice kill kid.
- [90:00]
Dick Toledo
Benny Mardonis of the future.
- [90:02]
Brett
Oh, kidding.
- [90:04]
Brady
Friday's Neth National Tooth Fairy Day. And the Dental Delta. Dental's annual poll found the average payout per tooth fell 14% since last year. The average tooth is now $5 and $0.01 down from throwing a 584 a year ago.
- [90:23]
John Holmberg
Throwing a Lincoln on a kid's tooth?
- [90:25]
Dick Toledo
Ex wife blew that curve out of the water.
- [90:27]
John Holmberg
What does that mean, he threw it?
- [90:29]
Dick Toledo
Well, when she had money, she threw us.
- [90:31]
John Holmberg
She was laundering through the tooth.
- [90:33]
Dick Toledo
Come on now.
- [90:34]
John Holmberg
There's a reason she went to the who's cow. And that's because whenever, every time Alex lost a tooth, he got 300,000 dol. Escrow.
- [90:40]
Dick Toledo
That's where it started. His expectations.
- [90:44]
John Holmberg
I gotta move some escrow cash around here. Let me just stuff it under the boy's pillow. She wasn't giving him money for a tooth. She was hiding it from the feds. And he found it. The Tooth Fairy gave me 250 grand in escrow. What does that mean? Oh, Christ. He found the papers.
- [90:56]
Dick Toledo
It doesn't have a purple pen mark on it.
- [90:58]
John Holmberg
You're not supposed to see that, young man.
- [91:02]
Brady
Kids in the south break it down. In the U.S. kids in the South Korea get $5.71 per tooth. Kids in the west get 569. Northeast four four or four 59. And the Midwest get $3.46 per tooth on average. Yeah.
- [91:21]
John Holmberg
So there are still some parents out there chucking change under the pillow that screw that whole thing up. Hey, parents, I think we can all agree. Paper money only now.
- [91:29]
Dick Toledo
Hey, you have a change jar?
- [91:32]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's.
- [91:33]
Dick Toledo
Grab some of it. Throw it under the pillow.
- [91:35]
John Holmberg
Crap.
- [91:35]
Brady
When the poll launched, when they first started doing the poll in 1998, the average is $1.30 per tooth.
- [91:47]
John Holmberg
Scott Haynes says, I feel bad for Matthia, considering Netflix betrayal is now a thing because now that Brett knows about it, it's going to be hard for them to watch shows at the same time. At least for her, because she's got to hold that stake up against one eye.
- [92:13]
Brady
The Richmond Hill High School soccer booster president has been arrested for misusing funds on only fans. Yeah, they're raising money for the boys soccer high school team. Here she is.
- [92:28]
John Holmberg
Soccer high school team.
- [92:31]
Brady
Here she is. There's the only fans. I can only imagine.
- [92:35]
John Holmberg
Oh, my goodness. She was misusing it all right.
- [92:37]
Brady
Yeah, yeah.
- [92:38]
John Holmberg
She's got a very Steve Nash haircut, only more manly.
- [92:43]
Brett
Very appropriate on Taurasi.
- [92:44]
John Holmberg
It's Taurasi day. We can't go busting them on Tirasi Day. Give people that give women with bi level 1988 haircuts a break. Today. They're going to do some dumb stuff. They're not in their right minds. Their king is gone. Tarasi has stepped away. They're not about themselves today. A lot of lady with those weird shaved side haircuts. When you're on 7th Avenue somewhere around Indian school, keep your eyes open. One might wander off into traffic. They don't have their wits about them.
- [93:15]
Brady
Joanne Fabrics has been struggling in a major way, and now they're throwing the towel in. It's the second time they've had to file for bankruptcy, and this time they're shutting down all the stores. Been in years for. Been in business for 82 years.
- [93:33]
John Holmberg
Internet. Well, not. Well, yeah.
- [93:37]
Brady
It's unclear how long the remaining stores will open, but.
- [93:42]
John Holmberg
And broads don't sew anymore.
- [93:44]
Dick Toledo
You know who sews? My son.
- [93:47]
John Holmberg
Your son sews?
- [93:48]
Dick Toledo
Oh, yeah.
- [93:48]
John Holmberg
You shouldn't have said that album.
- [93:53]
Dick Toledo
One of his. One of his gifts was a sewing machine.
- [93:58]
John Holmberg
Did you ever see the Curb your enthusiasm when Larry was friends with that lady and he had a son who was obviously gay, but no one was admitting it. And Larry Was the only one admitted he was gay. So we bought him a sewing machine for his birthday and he went crazy. He loved it.
- [94:11]
Brady
Nuts.
- [94:12]
John Holmberg
Why would you buy him that? Larry, he's gay. I was clearly gay. He loves it. Why am I the bad guy? I've not seen that, but it is.
- [94:21]
Dick Toledo
I've seen some of the pussy slaying.
- [94:23]
John Holmberg
So the son.
- [94:24]
Dick Toledo
He's not just has.
- [94:25]
John Holmberg
Has what you have?
- [94:27]
Dick Toledo
Well, just the girls that he shows me on his. On his phone.
- [94:32]
John Holmberg
Most gay kids show their dead pictures.
- [94:35]
Dick Toledo
Is that what you did?
- [94:36]
John Holmberg
That's what my dad. No, I didn't tell him about it. The real straight ones don't talk to their dads about it. The ones trying to convince them.
- [94:42]
Brady
A lot of fun.
- [94:43]
John Holmberg
Check out this broad, this hot honey says she lives in Abilene. Oh, yeah. I hope you're right. But that sewing machine in his house is not necessarily a magnet for broads.
- [94:57]
Brady
Well, this would be a good time.
- [94:58]
Dick Toledo
To fashion Design isn't really fashion designs.
- [95:00]
John Holmberg
Might get them interested, but they're going to be safe with him. That's what I'm saying. Gulp.
- [95:05]
Brady
Oh, this would be a good time for him in the next year to score some discounted deep discounts at Joann.
- [95:10]
John Holmberg
Oh, they're not liquidating immediately, by the way.
- [95:13]
Brady
No, over a period of. They're saying not how. They didn't say how long it's going to take to close all. All 800 locations.
- [95:19]
John Holmberg
Everything must go. We should give. We can get him a gift card.
- [95:21]
Brett
Oh, there you go.
- [95:22]
John Holmberg
Oh, God. His birthday just passed, right? Yeah, yeah, we get him a gift card. Belated Joanne.
- [95:27]
Brett
He got rent for his birthday. I mean, come on.
- [95:29]
Dick Toledo
Yeah.
- [95:30]
John Holmberg
He didn't sell his sewing March and April and May, does he? So, yes. Is that hard as a dad to see? Would you rather watch him making pants or like having a guy inside?
- [95:41]
Dick Toledo
I've actually witnessed the activity. I've only seen it set up in his room.
- [95:45]
John Holmberg
What would you rather walk in on?
- [95:47]
Dick Toledo
Oh, God.
- [95:48]
John Holmberg
Oh, here we go. Him sewing wildly. I don't know.
- [95:56]
Dick Toledo
Whatever the next question is, sewing is the answer.
- [95:58]
John Holmberg
Even as a dad, I think maybe my dad sees me sewing like. Ah, the tears.
- [96:04]
Brady
This dude from Omaha named Jason Kilborn is struggling to sort out the paperwork for his daughter Caroline, who was born in November of 2022.
- [96:13]
John Holmberg
Saw this last night. Wild.
- [96:14]
Brady
Jason and Caroline's mother dated on and off over the years, but are no longer together. Jason has full custody because it sounds like the mothers had issues. Struggle with drugs. There's a problem. Caroline was Born in a house and only received a certificate of live birth, an unofficial document that hospitals submit to start the process of generating government issued birth certificates. The process never happened. Jason is struggling to get a Social Security card and a usable birth certificate for Caroline so he can get services for her.
- [96:51]
John Holmberg
Can't get health care without a birth certificate and a Social Security number. I didn't know that.
- [96:55]
Brady
On top of that, the certificate of the live birth listed is a bizarre name for the girl. Unikite 13 Hotel is the name.
- [97:04]
John Holmberg
So he has to. Instead of petitioning, he has to go now to the board and try to get his daughter's name changed to Unikite 13 Hotel because it would be easier to get health care if they just acknowledge that's her name than try to change everything.
- [97:18]
Brady
Yeah. And they were told. He was told this was a computer generated name.
- [97:23]
John Holmberg
Yeah. AI made this baby's name for him. So it's like when they say, do you want to use your password or this? It chose this. By the way, Jennifer downstairs just text me and said, hey, tell Toledo I need some pants hemmed. Can his son help? So maybe you get the ladies ladies downstairs to drop off some.
- [97:42]
Brett
Hey, you pay the rent a little bit easier. You're not side hustle some.
- [97:46]
John Holmberg
Don some socks and stuff.
- [97:47]
Dick Toledo
I know what the going rate for.
- [97:48]
Brett
Tailoring is, but I'm sure he does.
- [97:52]
John Holmberg
Hey, hey, hey. Yeah, I'm sure.
- [97:55]
Dick Toledo
Like where your mind's head.
- [97:56]
John Holmberg
Well, I know he's not wrong. Why is that bad? The boy wants to sew some of our sales ladies pants and hem them up with his kick ass sewing machine. Down there in Tucson, between gummy bears and hot Internet broads. He's banging. He'll hem your pants. This story gets better every time you open your mouth. He's got a sewing machine.
- [98:19]
Dick Toledo
He's got two, actually.
- [98:21]
John Holmberg
What? Whoa.
- [98:22]
Dick Toledo
Got one from his grandmother.
- [98:24]
Brady
Both singer. It's the only one only company.
- [98:29]
Dick Toledo
There's no reason to bring one's brother typewriter.
- [98:33]
John Holmberg
Actually, no.
- [98:34]
Dick Toledo
It's a sewing machine.
- [98:36]
John Holmberg
Either way.
- [98:38]
Brett
Just passed the straight test right there.
- [98:40]
John Holmberg
I thought brother was a typewriter. Either way. And he's not even like trained. He's just. He's just dabbling and sewing.
- [98:49]
Brett
He's dabbling, babbling.
- [98:50]
Dick Toledo
He's trained by YouTube and every other social media influencer he's seen.
- [98:57]
John Holmberg
He goes on, he could make some.
- [99:01]
Brady
Some side money.
- [99:02]
John Holmberg
Oh, he could gulp tons of side.
- [99:04]
Brett
Yeah.
- [99:05]
John Holmberg
Oh, you mean sewing. Yeah, I thought he could make side money.
- [99:08]
Dick Toledo
Please finish your thought.
- [99:09]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [99:10]
Dick Toledo
So nobody just jumps in with it.
- [99:13]
John Holmberg
Yeah, add the word sewing to that sentence. Because when you said, oh, yeah, Toledo's boy can make side money, Brett and I both go, you guys want to see my sewing machines? Yes.
- [99:25]
Brady
Got a couple of Brady videos.
- [99:27]
John Holmberg
Does he ever make any clothes for you, like for your birthday? Why not have him sew up a nice.
- [99:32]
Dick Toledo
Because I'm not cool enough to make clothes for John.
- [99:34]
John Holmberg
Yeah, you are. Daddy Clothes.
- [99:37]
Dick Toledo
Not his type of clothes. He makes these flared pants.
- [99:40]
John Holmberg
Sweet.
- [99:41]
Brady
It's getting better.
- [99:42]
John Holmberg
It's getting better. Wait, I know.
- [99:46]
Brady
I hear it as I say it.
- [99:48]
John Holmberg
I know you're killing Brad over there. Those pants are too restrictive cool for you to wear. Not gay. Hey.
- [100:02]
Brady
Not age appropriate.
- [100:03]
John Holmberg
Really? Get some flare pants.
- [100:07]
Brady
Yeah, those flare jeans are hot. Oh, God.
- [100:11]
Dick Toledo
Don't say. You know that.
- [100:15]
John Holmberg
Winston says he can sew if he wants to. He can leave his friends behind. Because if his friends don't sew, and if they don't sew, well, they're no friends of mine. Say, you can sew if you want to leave your cast behind. The safety dance. I'm sorry. It's weird. We're all supposed to be accepting of that stuff, but it still makes us giggle.
- [100:37]
Dick Toledo
It's unique, John.
- [100:38]
John Holmberg
It is unique, my friend.
- [100:39]
Dick Toledo
We applaud kids that are unique these days.
- [100:42]
John Holmberg
Sure. All that. All that I said was, we applaud them, John. All I said was, broads don't sew anymore. Which is why Joanne's out of business and you fired off with my son sews, which is the worst bumper sticker ever.
- [100:55]
Dick Toledo
Oh, God. If I have to put that on.
- [100:58]
John Holmberg
My son sews like his oats and whores. No, literally. The man makes flared pants. No, that's.
- [101:08]
Dick Toledo
And a jacket. He made a jacket.
- [101:09]
John Holmberg
Why didn't he make you a jacket for your birthday? I want Alex to show you up sometime.
- [101:14]
Brady
Or a vest.
- [101:14]
Brett
It's the least he can do.
- [101:16]
John Holmberg
It is the least he can do for you paying rent as a thank you.
- [101:19]
Brady
God damn it.
- [101:20]
Dick Toledo
Don't make me anything as a thank you.
- [101:23]
John Holmberg
No, you've already paid that as a thank you. He needs to go to this Joanne sale and make Daddy some new stuff.
- [101:29]
Brett
Some flared pants.
- [101:30]
John Holmberg
A pair of flared pants out of some Joanne curtain fabric. You come in, you have to wear those. Unsupportive son of a. You have to wear those. Beautiful. That's right.
- [101:40]
Brett
Oh, he's supportive.
- [101:41]
John Holmberg
Yeah.
- [101:43]
Brady
You take that back.
- [101:46]
Dick Toledo
Hey, hey, hey.
- [101:48]
John Holmberg
Somebody just text over sew. Gay. So gay. It's okay to be gay. I don't know why you're fighting it, so.
- [101:56]
Dick Toledo
I'm not fighting it.
- [101:57]
Brady
All right, first radio video girl recording her bathroom. There's a bulge in the ceiling. There's an F bomb right off the bat, I think.
- [102:07]
John Holmberg
Okay, but there's water. Water's pouring out of that ceiling. It's about to break. Here we go. Oh, it's all poop. Oh, God. It all came out brown. I was expecting, like, shower water, but it's all poop. Oh, it's swelling. That paint. When the paint breaks free. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Her whole bathroom. Here we go. No, it's just poop.
- [102:34]
Brett
I want to see the aftermath.
- [102:36]
John Holmberg
Yeah. I want to see the cleanup. Oh, that's horrifying. Is that the upstairs neighbor?
- [102:42]
Dick Toledo
Has to be.
- [102:43]
John Holmberg
Oh, God.
- [102:45]
Dick Toledo
They don't have their own house.
- [102:47]
John Holmberg
Winston's also all over you saying this. This explains the brisket thing with Toledo. I bet his son only eats lean brisket.
- [102:55]
Brett
Ass toled.
- [102:57]
Dick Toledo
I'm recutting that Valentine's Day movie.
- [103:00]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's right. You got to be nice to him, Winston. He helped edit that film we did for you.
- [103:04]
Brady
Next one's a little road rage, okay?
- [103:08]
John Holmberg
Guy gets out of it, starts punching some dude's truck. He's got a gun. He's got a gun. Oh, and he gets shot by another gun.
- [103:14]
Brady
That is not tactical black.
- [103:16]
John Holmberg
No. Somebody in the truck shoots the dude who approached in the face. Yeah, and he was right to do it because that dude's waving a gun on his face face. Yep. Never be the one who bows up. And that dude's dead. Now, that's dumb, because he got cut off or whatever. You come at me with a gun like that, you're running. You're playing. You're playing the gun game. You don't know who's in there.
- [103:37]
Dick Toledo
Remember our late former coworker that did that when he got off in the off ramp over there?
- [103:43]
John Holmberg
Our buddy Hud? He didn't die from that.
- [103:45]
Dick Toledo
No, but he had it in his. He didn't get out.
- [103:48]
John Holmberg
He. Another dude were chasing each other around. They got mad at each other and started waving guns at each other. And then driving 100 miles an hour.
- [103:53]
Dick Toledo
Up the 101, they both brandished guns at each other.
- [103:59]
Brady
The last one's a little payback from a burrow. This is animal abuse.
- [104:03]
John Holmberg
Oh. Oh, I think I've seen this one. This makes me mad. He's. He hits this donkey, smacking a donkey in the face. And donkey's like, what did I do now?
- [104:11]
Brady
He mounts the donkey.
- [104:12]
John Holmberg
He tries to get on him to ride him. Donkey kills him, right?
- [104:16]
Brady
Just gets a hold of his leg pretty good.
- [104:18]
John Holmberg
Oh, he bit his leg. And now he's punching the donkey. Donkey like no good. Drag his ass around. That's the sounds of justice right there. Keep going, Donkey. I had to kill a man today. Shrek. I saw that donkey. He did a great job. He was trying to buy me stuff, so I bit him back. He smacked me in the face for no reason. Well, good. You should have killed him. You didn't do enough. Use your back legs. You're a donkey. Donkey. Is that it?
- [104:51]
Brady
That's it.
- [104:52]
John Holmberg
Oh, okay.
- [104:52]
Brady
That's all I got.
- [104:54]
Brett
Brit got some strange ones.
- [104:58]
John Holmberg
Okay.
- [104:58]
Brett
But we'll. We'll make it work.
- [105:03]
John Holmberg
I don't know what this is.
- [105:06]
Dick Toledo
You don't know what that is?
- [105:07]
Brady
Guitar jazz.
- [105:08]
John Holmberg
There's a guy playing acoustic guitar while he has doggy style sex with a woman. Left handed.
- [105:14]
Brett
He's playing rawhide.
- [105:16]
John Holmberg
He's staying on rhythm. This is pretty great. Oh. She reaches down to give herself a little extra pleasure while he continues his. It's almost like a one man band. It's like he's playing drunk. He's keeping percussion with his midsection.
- [105:32]
Brett
It's Free Bird. He's getting to the fast part now.
- [105:34]
John Holmberg
Yeah, he's going quick. That is a lot of concentrating. Is he singing too? Wow. Oh, we didn't get to see the big finish. It just. It stops in the middle. Yeah. Rawhide. Get him up. Move them out. Eat them up. Eat them out. Rawhide. I don't know how the words go. This one's just one of the phrases, isn't it? I think that's what they say.
- [106:00]
Brett
This one's just. She's a keeper.
- [106:02]
John Holmberg
All right. It's a lady on the side of the road next to her car. She's taking her shoes off, putting on some slippers. Does a farmer's blow out of both nostrils. Nostrils and shows us her shoes. That's just a woman doing a farmer's block. That is gross. What? That was just gross for the sake of it. What a pig. All right, here's a lady with another lady's arm all the way up inside her up to almost the elbow. What's vibrating? She takes a hit off the vape then or. No, no, that's just like a cope.
- [106:35]
Brady
She's snorting a little bump.
- [106:37]
John Holmberg
Took a shot. Man. Are they. Russian girl is all the way into the elbow now. Oh, my God. Is that Russian? I think so.
- [106:50]
Brett
Oh, my God.
- [106:51]
John Holmberg
Look at that. Man, oh, man. The one with the arm in her. Oddly enough, the one with the arm in her looks more pained than the one with the. With face. Yeah, the arm girl is, like, struggling more than the one with the arm in her, you know, and it surprises us, but babies come out of there. Oh, yeah. An arm is nothing. Sure. No, that's not her butt. Isn't it?
- [107:14]
Brady
No, I think it is.
- [107:17]
Brett
I think it is.
- [107:17]
John Holmberg
Oh, I guess you're right. There's the other thing. She just opened her legs up. That is her butt. All right, Babies. Sometimes babies come out of there if they cut it wide enough.
- [107:24]
Brett
That actually looks like somebody we know. Oh, I'm not saying it.
- [107:30]
John Holmberg
Devin.
- [107:31]
Brady
No.
- [107:34]
John Holmberg
Oh, I see. I think I see who you're seeing downstairs.
- [107:37]
Brett
Yep, 100%. I saw that the first time.
- [107:40]
John Holmberg
Oh. Oh, wow. It does look like one of our sales ladies. Who will remain nameless. I know for sure it's not her.
- [107:47]
Dick Toledo
He's got some side cash going.
- [107:48]
John Holmberg
Definitely. Nope.
- [107:53]
Brett
All right, and then we'll switch over here. There's a nice little accident for you.
- [107:59]
John Holmberg
Okay.
- [107:59]
Brett
So I'm gonna need some cleanup.
- [108:01]
John Holmberg
It's a surveillance thing also. Oh, boy. Cargo sliding sideways. Wow. When the truck hits it. I'm hoping they were hauling watermelons because the red explosion that comes out of the car that gets hit by that truck is huge. And I'm assuming it's a passenger. Oh, my God. It's a person. Explosion pieces.
- [108:19]
Dick Toledo
Wow.
- [108:20]
John Holmberg
That truck doesn't look big enough to blow a person up.
- [108:22]
Dick Toledo
I mean, it wasn't slow.
- [108:24]
Brady
You sure it wasn't a jug of red kool aid?
- [108:25]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I think they were just hauling up. Yeah, they were just. I'm going Brady on that. I think there was just a punch bowl in the passenger seat. Oh, my Lord.
- [108:35]
Dick Toledo
Is it possible the antifreeze fluid was red?
- [108:38]
John Holmberg
No, not that red. They're not coming out of the orange, if anything. Yeah, you're right. Oh, my.
- [108:44]
Brady
They're going back from the wine country.
- [108:46]
John Holmberg
Yeah, they just had a bunch of death guard. Okay. Oh, there's a lady standing on a guy's neck while he's tugging away. Is he dying? He's standing on his throat. I don't think this is healthy for anybody, especially sexually. So he starts to die, and then she gets off of his throat? I don't know. Oh, he's going to sleep. She knocked him out. That noise happens sometimes when you get choked out.
- [109:13]
Dick Toledo
Really?
- [109:13]
John Holmberg
Yeah. But now she's going back over the middle of his throat. I don't know that this is good to do. To anybody. She's standing directly on his voice box.
- [109:22]
Dick Toledo
I don't know if we need to get into snuff film.
- [109:24]
John Holmberg
Yeah, I think we're watching snuff. He's already.
- [109:30]
Dick Toledo
All right being a relative term.
- [109:32]
Brett
Hey, he signed up for it.
- [109:34]
John Holmberg
Yeah. This isn't a murder. This is a guy asking for it. They got to bring him too, those smelling salts. He's all right. He's okay. Everything worked out. Therapy and that's what you get for next Netflix. Betrayal.
- [109:48]
Brett
Yeah. And I will just end with this.
- [109:50]
John Holmberg
Good lord.
- [109:51]
Dick Toledo
What?
- [109:53]
John Holmberg
All right, there's a guy or a girl, and she's two girls. One is performing licky loos on the other one and they're in the. Is that some of discharge? Looks like. Christ. All right, I know what this is. I know what this is. That's. That is from WTF Moments in Porn Scene 5. So I know what this is. Brady. Do you want me to explain it?
- [110:30]
Brett
No, the guy finished.
- [110:31]
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All that noise of like. So. So there was a dude in the lady before this video was shot that finished up. That's called an oatmeal cream pie without the oatmeal part. And then the other lady got in there and said, all right, before you get rid of all this, let me have a taste of that. And then she says, how many licks does it take to get to the center of this lady? Three. Three. And then happened. And she got Peter Northed by a girl.
- [111:00]
Brett
I'm saving that one for the videos.
- [111:02]
John Holmberg
That's keeper. Because I didn't. Pardon the pun. See that coming.
- [111:06]
Brady
No, just ruined my Cinnabon.
- [111:09]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's definitely Cinnabon looking anyway. Good Christ. I got a whole lineup of ladies downstairs that want your son to handle some pants for him, so. Well, I'm hip, I'm cool. Can I get some flared jeans made by the boy? What's he charged for a pair of jeans?
- [111:31]
Dick Toledo
I don't know. I'll find out.
- [111:34]
John Holmberg
Does it come with a bj?
- [111:37]
Brett
Probably.
- [111:38]
John Holmberg
Tucson Golf. Sup? Sup? You want my pants, you'll have to take them off. He's got two sewing machines. Never heard of that. You got to be at least 60 to own two sewing machines and name Madge.
- [111:53]
Dick Toledo
Come on. If he's a young gay, he's not going to share concerts. This guy says how many share concerts has he been to?
- [111:59]
John Holmberg
That's true. That's a bad reference.
- [112:01]
Dick Toledo
Yeah.
- [112:02]
John Holmberg
Sam Smith or Kim Petrus.
- [112:03]
Dick Toledo
There you go. Yeah.
- [112:06]
John Holmberg
I don't know if he's raised Right. A couple of Cher concerts in there.
- [112:09]
Dick Toledo
So where he's going to this. Brett, I've seen you. You wear flared pants.
- [112:13]
John Holmberg
No, he doesn't.
- [112:14]
Brett
No, I don't.
- [112:16]
John Holmberg
Flare pants aren't gay.
- [112:17]
Dick Toledo
I'm offended for Brett.
- [112:18]
John Holmberg
I wear dickies and Fulcom's flared pants aren't gay. So in a Miss Super D day. And I don't want flared pants sewn by a straight. It's not going to be. I prefer my pants and clothes. Me made by flaming homosexual. They're the best at it.
- [112:36]
Brett
That goes.
- [112:36]
John Holmberg
Yeah, exactly. That goes right back to my theory about walking into a Japanese restaurant and seeing Mexicans with the, you know, ninja headbands on. I'm like, nope. I want authentic Japanese sushi cutters. I don't want to walk in there and hear. I want to hear that. That thing they yell at you when you walk in. Nobody knows what they say, but we all go back at them.
- [112:59]
Brett
I don't want Daniel LaRusso and Johnny Lawrence back there making my sushi.
- [113:02]
John Holmberg
I don't need Cobra Kai making the sushi. If I walk in, I analyze. Nope, nope, and nope. I need those dudes to look like they may have been kidnapped. All vertical. I need a lot of that. I like my Mexican food being made by Mexicans. I don't want to go over to Ikea and have the lingonberries be slapped out by a dude named Juan. Want my Swedish food made by big fat Swedish ladies. The way I grew up on it, even though I don't want any Swedish food ever. It's a curse. How Ikea is kept in business is beyond me. There's no possible way anybody's ordered. Get some Swedish meatballs at Ikea. Get the burger. Stay away from all Swedish cuisine. It's disgusting. My people did not know what they were doing. They still don't. Would you like some loot? Fisk? What is that? Dry white fish covered in salt? No, that is. No, that is a poor person's meal.
- [113:58]
Brady
Can use it for a doorstop.
- [114:00]
John Holmberg
Oh, it's so gross. Sometimes we kick it in a shell of salt to put it in giant shells of salt that only they can make. It's gross. They got to crack it open like an egg and there's a fish in it. That's horrifying, but I still prefer it be made by a Swede than a Mexican. Go to an Italian restaurant. Remember that time you and I went to that Italian place together and that Japanese guy was there, and we both thought we shouldn't be Here.
- [114:24]
Brett
Time to leave.
- [114:25]
John Holmberg
Wanna get you now. Like what you're running. Hold on a second. We're at Caruso's Italian Deli. Who are you? I am Ona. All right, I'm not buying into this at all. We both got salami subs. Sir, I didn't mean to complain about this. Very delicious. Except for I just bit into a squid. Very good addition. No, no, no. Not very Italian.
- [114:48]
Brett
Should have got fish sauce.
- [114:49]
John Holmberg
Mediterranean. Okay, yeah. You get a fish sauce for your lasagna burger. Lasagna burger. You're not doing any of this right? It's 8:22. I like to keep it authentic. And I want my pants sewn by Gay. I walk into a place and the guy's like, hey, how you doing? You mean to hem your pants for you there, buddy? No, I prefer a homosexual. Do it. I want it done right. Is there a twink back there that I can't see? There you go. That's your Brady Report. It's 98 KUPD.
- [115:23]
Dick Toledo
It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee.
- [115:27]
John Holmberg
I have heard enough of this morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. There you go. It's the game right there. Disturbed. And if you haven't done yourself a favor yet, listen to the brand new disturbed stuff. It's pretty damn good. The new song is out and they're coming to town here in May. Just closer than you think. To March in five days. So two months out to May, that ain't too far away. I know. Flying through feels like it's May. Three days. By the way, I'm just gonna rattle off. Can I get Sweet Georgia Brown? Oh, yeah. So hang on a second. In honor of Diana Taurasi leaving.
- [116:13]
Brady
Got some more stats, huh?
- [116:15]
John Holmberg
I have the list of the. No, no stats. I don't want to give you the stats. I mean, 33% shooting is all you need to know about that. That's unreal. I mean, in baseball, that's a.330 batting average she's getting. I mean, in baseball, guys go to the hall of fame for three out of 10. So. I mean, basketball, shooting three out of 10. That's huge. That's what she did last year. It's ridiculous. The goat retiring. Name a bunch of roads after her. Maybe a building or two, something. All the memories that she provided. So many of us. All right, I'm gonna play a little game here with you guys. Buzzing with your names. I'm gonna. The name of A WNBA player. They played such a mark. And you tell me what team they played for. All right.
- [117:00]
Brady
Okay.
- [117:00]
John Holmberg
We'll start by making Brett laugh with Cynthia Cooper Dyke. Toledo. Toledo.
- [117:06]
Dick Toledo
Houston.
- [117:08]
John Holmberg
Full name only. I have to have the full name.
- [117:10]
Dick Toledo
Houston. Were they called the Astros?
- [117:14]
John Holmberg
That was the baseball team. Houston Sparks. Incorrect.
- [117:17]
Brady
Brady Brady, L.A. sparks.
- [117:20]
John Holmberg
Incorrect.
- [117:21]
Brett
Mercury.
- [117:22]
John Holmberg
Incorrect. A good guess. Houston Comet. Damn it. Now you gotta remember the Houston comments won the first four WNBA championships and then went out of business. That's true. They four peted went out of business. Oh, all right, let's try another one. Cappy Pondexter. Brady Brady.
- [117:43]
Brady
Houston Comet.
- [117:43]
John Holmberg
Incorrect. It's Comets. Not comics. Not comics. Comics.
- [117:47]
Dick Toledo
Toledo.
- [117:48]
John Holmberg
New.
- [117:48]
Dick Toledo
New York Liberty.
- [117:49]
John Holmberg
New York Liberty is correct. Toledo and his son get one right there. That's well done. All right, 1 00. I'm gonna go with Ella Deldana or Delladonna Elena. Delladonna. Brady. Brady.
- [118:09]
Brady
Toledo Mud Hens.
- [118:10]
John Holmberg
No.
- [118:11]
Dick Toledo
Toledo Mercury.
- [118:13]
John Holmberg
Incorrect again.
- [118:14]
Brady
Mercury.
- [118:15]
John Holmberg
Incorrect again. All right, how about this? She played for the team in Washington. Anybody want to try to name that?
- [118:23]
Dick Toledo
The diet.
- [118:24]
John Holmberg
No, no. The Diet Coke smell. Yes.
- [118:30]
Brady
Brady.
- [118:31]
John Holmberg
Go ahead.
- [118:32]
Brady
Mystics.
- [118:33]
John Holmberg
Mystics is correct. Nice job, Brady. This is like if a.
- [118:36]
Brett
And you guys know you're lesbian.
- [118:38]
John Holmberg
This is awesome. Like if a women's station tried to do baseball trivia. Our right. We're going down south. Tina Charles. That's what they say in the WNB a lot. We're going down south.
- [118:50]
Dick Toledo
Toledo.
- [118:51]
John Holmberg
Toledo.
- [118:52]
Brady
Atlanta.
- [118:53]
John Holmberg
Damn it.
- [118:53]
Brady
What was the team that.
- [118:54]
Dick Toledo
That Sophie got traded to Atlanta.
- [118:57]
John Holmberg
Sophie did not get traded to Cleveland. No, incorrect. Sorry.
- [119:00]
Brett
She went to Cleveland. Right.
- [119:01]
John Holmberg
She went to Indiana.
- [119:03]
Brady
Damn it.
- [119:03]
Dick Toledo
She didn't go to Atlanta.
- [119:04]
John Holmberg
No. That's where Britney Griner went. Damn it. Atlanta is correct. Name that team that. Tina Charles. So many memories. Brady. Brady. Yes. That was that.
- [119:16]
Brady
Atlanta Labs.
- [119:18]
John Holmberg
None of the labs is incorrect. Although very solid and sexist.
- [119:22]
Brett
The Hawks.
- [119:23]
John Holmberg
Atlanta Hawks is the men's team. No. Did not play.
- [119:25]
Brett
That's cause I know that.
- [119:26]
John Holmberg
The Atlanta dream. Damn it. Guys, come on. We're celebrating Diana Taurasi today. Yeah, we are.
- [119:32]
Dick Toledo
We're gonna really try on this one.
- [119:34]
John Holmberg
The memories of the goat. Forget God's sakes. And all the things she's brought to the sports landscape. And all these sports stations that are going to talk like they've what an amazing account. What she's brought to the league and what she's brought. They're going to all pander to this. Even though none of these guys, and I know them personally in a lot of cases like or care about the wnba, they're afraid to say it sucks, but they'll say any men's sport sucks. So it's fair. What we're doing is fairly team in the South. I don't know, I thought you had.
- [120:01]
Dick Toledo
Them all in front of you.
- [120:02]
John Holmberg
Oh, I have people in front of you making me look. All right, here we go. Skyler Diggin Smith used to play here.
- [120:10]
Dick Toledo
Excuse me?
- [120:11]
John Holmberg
Skyler Diggins Smith used to play here. Very pretty lady. Used to do the broadcast with the Suns in Kray for a little while. Then Sophie took her place. She now plays it in Dallas. Name the team.
- [120:22]
Brett
No, they had it Starkist.
- [120:24]
John Holmberg
Starkist is incorrect. Please take the game seriously, boys. This is. We're on.
- [120:29]
Brett
Oh, that's right.
- [120:29]
John Holmberg
I forgot ponies. Ponies is incorrect. Dallas Brady. We're looking for the team Skyler Diggins Smith plays for now. Mustang. No, that's Dobson.
- [120:43]
Brady
The Dallas Spurs.
- [120:44]
John Holmberg
Incorrect. That's San Antonio's men's team. This is the Dallas Wings. Wings. And again guys, we're so many members, the damn thing has wings.
- [120:53]
Dick Toledo
I'm today years old when I learned Dallas had a team.
- [120:56]
John Holmberg
Come on, Dallas. Come on. Come on.
- [121:00]
Dick Toledo
Did you say she's playing currently?
- [121:02]
John Holmberg
I think so.
- [121:03]
Dick Toledo
That's why I'm a classic.
- [121:05]
John Holmberg
Oh, okay. We go classic. All right. Dawn Staley. Dawn Staley. What team did she play for? What is she most known for?
- [121:13]
Dick Toledo
Winning the national championship and coaching.
- [121:15]
John Holmberg
South Carolina's. The college coach team. Yes, but when she played girls professional. And again all the memories that are flooding us right now is the news. And everybody else fawns all over Diana Taurasi telling us how important she was. Toledo's busting with Connecticut.
- [121:29]
Dick Toledo
Son.
- [121:30]
John Holmberg
Son.
- [121:30]
Brett
Connecticut. That's my problem. I'm so overloaded with all the.
- [121:34]
John Holmberg
Too many memories.
- [121:35]
Brett
Yeah.
- [121:35]
John Holmberg
Can't even get the team name straight. They've done so much. They've.
- [121:38]
Dick Toledo
They've just Don Staley or the. The league.
- [121:41]
Brady
Don Staley was a power forward for Indiana Fever.
- [121:45]
John Holmberg
Incorrect. It seemed like you were very confident with that and I appreciate Chicago Sky. Chicago sky is incorrect.
- [121:51]
Brett
Is that actually.
- [121:52]
Dick Toledo
Was it the comments?
- [121:53]
John Holmberg
No. I'm going to give you the city. Charlotte. Oh, Charlotte. The links. The links is incorrect. Not the airport code. The Charlotte clt.
- [122:03]
Dick Toledo
Oh no, the links is up north.
- [122:05]
John Holmberg
Damn it. The Charlotte airport code. Yes. Brady, have any idea what the Charlotte girls team is called? 27 Year Old League. This is its marketing and in full display. The Charlotte.
- [122:20]
Brady
The Charlotte Stone Crabs.
- [122:21]
John Holmberg
Oh, you were close. You got the first two letters right. The Sting. Because the Hornets. Ah, they are the Stinger.
- [122:28]
Brady
Yeah, that makes sense.
- [122:31]
John Holmberg
All right, man, let's take you up north for a second, boys.
- [122:36]
Dick Toledo
Minnesota Lynx.
- [122:37]
John Holmberg
That's exactly right. Now, who was the player I was going to name?
- [122:41]
Dick Toledo
Damn it.
- [122:43]
John Holmberg
The greatest player in Minnesota Lynx has history.
- [122:45]
Dick Toledo
Oh, oh. Eileen Brady.
- [122:51]
John Holmberg
She was Smith.
- [122:53]
Brady
Kate Smith.
- [122:53]
John Holmberg
Katie Smith is correct. Former Ohio State assistant coach.
- [122:58]
Dick Toledo
Come on, come on now.
- [123:00]
John Holmberg
Brady used to rub his beam to Ohio State girls basketball. Watch Katie Smith play. Well done, Brady. Did you follow that for a little while? Just with your odd ties.
- [123:10]
Brady
I knew what you were going to say. Ohio State. That's the only person I know that came over.
- [123:15]
John Holmberg
All right, that's pretty good then. All right, how about this one? This team doesn't exist anymore either. Oh, no, but Deanna Nolan, superstar on the list of WNBA's greatest players. Remember all the memories we have of. Remember when Deanna Nolan stole the ball from. Was it Havlicek? And they had that big. Oh, terrifying. Because then it was over. Ah.
- [123:38]
Dick Toledo
Can we get a region, John?
- [123:40]
John Holmberg
I'll give you the city. Detroit.
- [123:42]
Dick Toledo
Oh, the Toxic Shock.
- [123:43]
John Holmberg
That's exactly right. Although it's just the Shock. Dammit, it is the Detroit Shock, not the Toxic Shock. Although they missed out on a lot of sponsorships there. All right. Betty Lennox. It's tough to lose a basketball game to someone named Betty. Betty Lennox.
- [124:05]
Brady
Region.
- [124:07]
John Holmberg
I'm gonna give you Northwest.
- [124:10]
Dick Toledo
Northwest.
- [124:11]
John Holmberg
Oh.
- [124:11]
Dick Toledo
Seattle Storm.
- [124:12]
John Holmberg
Seattle Storm is way to go. This is very impressive, boys. And I don't think we've named off a third of the teams and I don't know where any of the rest of them.
- [124:25]
Dick Toledo
Give me a city.
- [124:27]
Brady
I might not know.
- [124:28]
John Holmberg
A Las Vegas Aces question. Yeah, well, Kelsey Plum just got traded to. I don't know. Oh, somewhere. Damn it. Is it the Atlanta Dream? I don't know.
- [124:39]
Dick Toledo
The all time Sturdy Gertie Jones.
- [124:41]
John Holmberg
That's right. The legendary. That is Sturdy Gertie Jones. All right, how about this one? Golden State now has a WNBA team. Do you know the name of them? I'll give you. I'll give you $1,000 if you name the team from Golden State while looking at your computer.
- [124:57]
Dick Toledo
I was gonna say Amazon.
- [124:59]
John Holmberg
That's incorrect. That's very rude, Brady. Thousand dollars. Hand it directly to your favorite charity if you get the name of this right now. Golden State Rainbows. Prunes. Of course. They're not the prunes. Try that's. By the way, you're thinking of Fresno. They make raisins and prunes there. Golden State. You got the Warriors.
- [125:24]
Brady
Amazon.
- [125:25]
John Holmberg
He tried that already. Still incorrect. Brett, you have any answers for the Golden State girls team?
- [125:31]
Dick Toledo
Yeah, I said that.
- [125:33]
John Holmberg
He did say the word, but it's tough. You guys have to listen and play. Anything?
- [125:38]
Brett
No.
- [125:38]
John Holmberg
Zena, The Golden State princess.
- [125:41]
Brett
Xena. Warrior Princess. That's what I was going for.
- [125:44]
John Holmberg
The Valkyries. Valkyries was worth.
- [125:47]
Brett
That was my next guess.
- [125:48]
John Holmberg
A horrible name. All right. Should cover it.
- [125:56]
Dick Toledo
Pretty much wraps it up, doesn't it?
- [125:58]
John Holmberg
All right. Who is the current WNBA world championship champion?
- [126:04]
Dick Toledo
New York Liberty.
- [126:07]
Brady
I'm gonna go with the Mystics.
- [126:09]
John Holmberg
You like the Washington Mystics?
- [126:11]
Brett
Indiana.
- [126:13]
Dick Toledo
I know that's wrong.
- [126:14]
John Holmberg
You think it's Indiana current? You have to check yourself. It's so hard to find the most recent one.
- [126:22]
Brett
Can I go to the Dark Web for this or what?
- [126:23]
John Holmberg
Most recent one I can find is 2021. Even their website doesn't have the most recent one. Okay, there it is. Who said Liberty?
- [126:33]
Brady
I did.
- [126:34]
John Holmberg
You're. You got it. Nice. Well done. Who did they beat?
- [126:38]
Brady
The Valkyrie.
- [126:39]
John Holmberg
That's wrong.
- [126:40]
Dick Toledo
The Aces and Kelsey Plum.
- [126:42]
John Holmberg
Incorrect. Mercury. No. The Minnesota Links were the runners. The boys. You don't remember. We had parties at the house for all those games. Remember? It was the opening weekend of football. We skipped it to watch this.
- [126:56]
Dick Toledo
Oh, it went five games.
- [126:58]
John Holmberg
It went all five games. Exhilarating. Anyway, I figured we'd revisit some of the great moments and legendary stuff that's now ingrained in our sports mind.
- [127:09]
Brett
It's still just too painful, right? Is the goat retiring? I mean, it's still just too painful to.
- [127:16]
John Holmberg
It's like the league died today. All your memories have been vanished. So you're gonna hear sports stations and all these guys that I actually know a few of them.
- [127:27]
Brady
Right.
- [127:27]
John Holmberg
In articles regaling the. What. What's the wondrous events that happened in the wnba? Not all One of them. Watch. None of those dudes on the sports station who are going to be forced today to pretend like that's a thing.
- [127:40]
Brett
You know Gambo's watching.
- [127:42]
John Holmberg
He'll be Rose.
- [127:44]
Brady
Oh, his sources.
- [127:45]
John Holmberg
It's going to be like Marisa Louise Alcott wrote Today's show for sports because they're just going to lose their minds. As if they paid any attention to. To this at all. Proof they didn't. No one can answer any of these questions. And we follow sports.
- [128:00]
Dick Toledo
John, maybe I'm a bit of an here. But isn't it somewhat offensive to name a lesbian pro team the Stingers?
- [128:06]
John Holmberg
They're not the Stingers. They're the Sting.
- [128:08]
Brett
The Shock too.
- [128:09]
John Holmberg
The shock is the one we got in trouble in 1997 because my friend Colin and I started to call them the Detroit Toxic Shock and the league again. That was what the WNBA's job was, is to call you and control your language. If you didn't like it, they'd attack. And we called them the Toxic Shock and they tried to get us thrown off the air. Why? You can't make jokes about your team. I can. I can call Tampa Bay Buccaneers, something that rhymes with Buccaneers, and nobody says a word. Yeah, that's. That's. You don't hate men, right? But I hate the buck. And I hate your league. I hate A lot. I hate soccer. Make fun of that all the time. Nobody ever calls me. I got us on the wrong foot with them. Anyway, the hypocrisy is what. I'm making fun of the league. Go be a league. Do what you do. But sports stations stop, you know, especially that 98. 7 over there. They're going to be talking about it like it's the greatest thing ever. They fight not to put the games on their radio station. That's fact. They fight to their.
- [129:14]
Brady
We're not gonna do it. You're gonna do it.
- [129:16]
John Holmberg
Pardon the pun. They're not clamoring to have the Mercury on their station at all, broadcasting the games. They're not doing it. It's on some secondary thing or on a stream.
- [129:27]
Brett
It's on the HD station.
- [129:28]
John Holmberg
Every once in a while, they might pop one on there, but not too often. Suns are on every night. Every time they got a game, it's on them. Good. Better. Otherwise, it's on. And they fight for that. Today it's gonna sound like they're brokenhearted. And this is the worst. What a great career. Name a highlight. Bring me one highlight that's relatable. Sit down at a dinner table with a bunch of guys and go, all right, let's talk about our favorite WNBA highlight. And then we're still sitting with a group of women and say, tell me your favorite WNBA moment. The league's for you guys and none of you care. Caitlin Clark is the greatest of all time.
- [130:04]
Brett
That's not the biggest moment anybody remembers. Is Brittany Griner getting busted.
- [130:08]
John Holmberg
I mean, seriously, sbr. They are. Yeah. It's so hypocritical. I had. Poor Vince Morata had to go and he wrote some shining article and brilliance of all that's been done. And I texted with him this morning making fun of it all. He's right there with me. Poor bastards. Being forced to do it because he's Afraid of him. I'm not. It's 8:51. Goodbye, Diana. I can't remember one single thing you've ever done. It's 98.
- [130:33]
Dick Toledo
It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee.
- [130:37]
John Holmberg
I have heard enough of this morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail again. I want to throw this out there just because I think Fitz is doing a good thing and he just started it, which is very cool. You can text vets V e T S vets 97936 is the number. Fitz has started this thing, which I think is awesome. And you know, me and the dogs. I'm going to get behind anybody, any charity. If KSLX does it, if Katie KB does it, if they're doing a dog charity and I find out about it, go nuts. I know Izzy over there at Katie KV Ski mask. She does a thing with lost her home Pet rescue as well. Anything we can do to get that out there. And right now, if you text vets 97936, you're helping pets and homeless veterans. Not homeless vets. Turinas. Homeless vets and pets and homeless veterinarians. That's actually a pretty good match. If you're a homeless veterinarian, you have a. I feel pretty good about it. You know, you can't really get the medicines, but you can recognize when something's not right, maybe get it to the right people. But homeless vets, they got a different thing. And I've already gotten emails from people. I donated this morning to Fitz's thing. Other people have as well. And some guy evidently dropped. All he was looking for was a. He was peeking out, trying to get $4,000 for this thing. Some dude gave four grand. So, I mean, that part. It's all gravy from here. And that's the whole goal, which is fantastic. So Fitz is going to give you all. He'll find out I don't have access to all of his information on who's donated and stuff, but he will. And he'll give you a great pump for your business or anything else you want to do that. So I think this is great what Fitz is up to. And good on you, Fitz. So I want to throw that back out there one more time. Vets 97936. Let's blow that up for our boy Fitz while he does such a great thing. And again, I wouldn't be human of the year, of all time. From the Arizona Pet Project this week weekend up there at The Chateau Lux, if you're interested. Tickets are. I guess they still have room for the tables, which. Huge to do. Huge to do. Brady. Prior winners of this award, John Jay. Damn it. Leanna Taylor. She got hers. A lot of good people and John Jay have won this award in the past. And now I will join the long list of wonderful people in John jay.
- [132:52]
Brett
Has Pat McMahon won this?
- [132:53]
John Holmberg
I think he has. Okay. I don't know. I don't know that he cares for animals. I think Pat Mc each pets, kids and pets. You know what I always like to do on the weekends, Brett?
- [133:02]
Brett
What's that?
- [133:02]
John Holmberg
I like to go wandering around and find. Find people walking their dogs. And I walk up and I said, what a beautiful animal. And they say, thanks, it's an Aussie shepherd. And I said, I was talking about your wife. And then I hit their dog in the face. I'm Pat McMahon. I'm not sure if he's wanted or not, but a. A long line of a illustrious, wonderful people and John Jay have won this award that I'm going to get Saturday. And I think that's just fantastic. So I want to help out where I can. There are so many pet charities to admire. I guess there's a better way to say that. Admirable pet charities out there that I can't. I can't do it all. And I want to. I say this all the time to people. It's like, oh, there's a dog here. I get texts from people, oh, we got to do something about this. This guy's loser. I can't save them all. And that's. I want to, but I can't. And that's the feeling that the people have at the Humane Society at Stand down and all the places that try to do things and lost her home and all the incredible Stella and all these places are like, God, it's just never ending. So any chance that I get when I see one, I'm like, oh, Fitz is grabbing the reins on this one. I think it's awesome. 97936 Text vets v e T S. If you want to help out, it gives you a little link. I will say the link's a little clumsy once you're there because it asks for your prefix and then it demanded after I donated, that I stay. You know, things. Yes. I want update updates. And most time you just skip that. I had to click that box. So I'm going to be getting updates. I'll turn that off later. I don't like updates. I got too many I'll mind my p's and q's, but I'm just being honest with you. There's always something in the sign up thing that makes you go, oh, this too, everything. They won't bother. They won't bother you too much, but it's for a great cause. So nice job, Fitz. Good work. And whoever. Whoever donates, thank you for. I don't want to take credit for this one. This is all on him and it's great that he's doing it. I did see this as well. And Brett, your lady works in a bar. Brady used to own that restaurant. I've worked in restaurants. Toledo's worked in restaurants. There's nothing worse in the restaurant business than a customer who is dissatisfied and seemingly for a stupid reason. You just have to eat that when they are. There's a story going around right now that a lady, and she did this to herself. And this is a great moment for anyone who's ever worked in the service industry where this lady got her comeuppance for what she thought was going to be a big viral social media support me moment. She posted her receipt at a restaurant where she left no tip, but then accidentally wrote down like the bill was 42, 21. And for some reason, she wrote like 42 23, took a picture and said, I did this for everybody who feels disrespected by.
- [135:41]
Brady
Yeah, it looked like a 2 cent.
- [135:42]
John Holmberg
It looked like a 2 cent tip, but it was actually a zero. But she did the math, so she. Even worse, she left her 2 cents. And on the receipt it says, don't call my husband sweetheart. So evidently the waitress at one point said, here you go, sweetheart. And the lady is so insecure and crazy that she thought that this meant that there was. They're going to have sex. They're going to try and sleep with them. First off, let me tell you this. Whenever two people can eat dinner for $40.23, the waitress calls you sweetheart. That's just basically a tip at Raising Canes. Yeah, right. Exactly. Yeah. You're dying in at Raising Canes. Somebody's going to call you sweetheart. That's a group. That's the place where she walks around with a coffee mug or a big coffee pot all the time. How you doing today, doll? What's up, sweet Sweetheart.
- [136:30]
Brady
She's good.
- [136:31]
John Holmberg
Flow. She's flow. Yeah. You're at a place, you're spending 40 bucks for dinner for two people. Either there's a buy one, get one or sweethearts on the table. That's happening. Darlin, Sweetheart, Honey bun. Sugar. The flow is she's probably chewing gum and she's gonna call you something. Well, she goes. She tries to go up there and viral out this don't play with me. She wrote in the caption of her tick tock thing, miserable 10.5 million people followed on there and almost all of them said, get therapy, lady. It's not that deep, sweetheart. Good. Yeah. So she got trashed for trying to blast somebody and not tip them. And it wasn't of the service and it wasn't because of the food. It was because she has a problem with her husband being called sweetheart. You know why? I'm guessing she wears sweatpants to dinner, she doesn't try anymore, and she hates it with somebody good looking. Yeah, exactly. Somebody good looking just paid attention to her husband and she realized, I'm not trying anymore. So he can't be looking at that. That's tight little ass walking around here calling him sweetheart. She gets nothing. Also, husband didn't pay for dinner. That's a little bit tough too. She dropped her card, her tip, and signed it.
- [137:45]
Dick Toledo
Why the hell are servers always held hostage by like, this woman?
- [137:49]
John Holmberg
Well, the good news is this tried to go viral with it and get support from the ladies who are just tired of these young, tight bodied women coming on to our men.
- [138:00]
Dick Toledo
Don't ever vacation in the south, sweetheart, because you're called honey, sweetie, sweetheart. And my personal favorite, sugar all the time.
- [138:08]
John Holmberg
Sugar's a big one. Here you go, sugar. Thanks a lot. Oh, bless her heart. She's sad because she's fat and ugly. Now, pretty woman called her husband sweetheart.
- [138:17]
Brett
No, she's never gonna eat a Texas grill again.
- [138:19]
John Holmberg
That's exactly right.
- [138:23]
Brett
Cause I guarantee she's that size.
- [138:26]
John Holmberg
She's. She's there. She's been in multiple locations where fire trucks have taken out other patrons. This happening again. There's a fire truck here and some EMTs taking out another customer. What in the world? This world coming to? It's where you eat, lady. I drive by that Texas Grill quite often, and I'm telling you, the percentage of times I go by Texas Grill and there's an EMT or a fire truck in front of it are the exact same as Diana Tausi. Shooting percentage last year. About 33% of the time I pass it. There's a truck there picking up one of the fat people and pulling them out. And I was nearly one of those.
- [138:59]
Brett
People, insecure and crazy. So a normal woman, huh?
- [139:01]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Yeah, right. Well, exactly, exactly. But it's a woman who's spending 40 bucks, her life's not working out, she's buying $40 dinners for her husband. You know those sweatpants aren't Lululemon.
- [139:13]
Brett
No, there's that.
- [139:15]
John Holmberg
She's probably wearing his shirt. She's got hair, but all over. It's not good.
- [139:22]
Dick Toledo
The article posted another one from a different restaurant that says no tip because it was very rude to ask my wife and I if we wanted separate chicken checks.
- [139:34]
John Holmberg
Why? I see your. Your nose, sir. I assume you want to pay half. I look at your wife and I think, good God, he can't possibly be. You want separate checks, right? You're a decent looking man.
- [139:49]
Dick Toledo
There's no way you married that.
- [139:50]
Brady
There's no way you guys are together.
- [139:51]
John Holmberg
No way you're paying for her dinner. That's very rude. Don't write notes on the receipt beat. Just put a zero and leave. Don't make your mark. And if you want to put it on the Internet later, you're going to get flambe. I love it. A lot of people have had to work in the service industry and a zero tip happens to all of us at one point or another. And usually we deserve it. A zero tip usually was like, oh boy, have I blown it here. And there's, I got stories. I have a few hundred zero tips under my belt sometimes. We actually had a contest where it's like, first one to get a zero tip gets the other guy's tips. You can't be blatant, you can't cuss. There were rules, like you had to just give service, but you had to get them their food and the kitchen had to be. But you had to do stuff that like maybe zeroed it out.
- [140:41]
Dick Toledo
Multiple zero tips here. The champ for the week.
- [140:43]
John Holmberg
Like saying something like, my God, that's a low cut shirt. Like one of those things. My personal, I have to keep my eyes up when I deliver your food. Things like that where you're a little bit offensive. But some people like liked it and that you had to run your risk. Yeah, I forget if it was my buddy. Hard times. I forget who it was. I can't remember who had the bet with. He walked up to a table of old people and he said, I understand it's somebody's 100th birthday here, sir. He was very old. What? Oh, it's your wife. What? And they were like. And he just hit him right over the head immediately. Now it's nobody's birthday. Oh, I was told it was somebody's 100th birthday. I thought it was you guys.
- [141:26]
Brady
What?
- [141:29]
John Holmberg
And I'm like, he's gonna win today. I think they tipped him. Eric. I don't remember who it was. Eric Christensen might have done it. We had some ballsy dudes over there at Rome's. Either way, it was before the Internet. We couldn't get flamed like that. So don't leave notes on receipts. And for God's sakes, if someone calls your husband sweetheart and it pisses you off, look in the mirror and realize why you're mad. It's you. Your ass is gross. Your hips are too big. That bubble that hangs over your pants is not from the babies you had 30 years ago. Exactly.
- [141:59]
Dick Toledo
So what this bitch needs to do is only eat at restaurants that respond with my pleasure.
- [142:04]
John Holmberg
Exactly.
- [142:06]
Brett
You ain't getting anywhere for 40 bucks that has my pleasure.
- [142:09]
John Holmberg
Let's see what she looks like after she has a couple of kids. You've got two grandkids like it. The weight is no longer the child versus fault. If it's a. If it's a go to for you to have as an excuse and it's been 25 years, you got to drop can be argued. Jesus. Hilaria Baldwin is Alec Baldwin's wife. She's 40 something and she's got seven kids. Well, if I had million dollars and had to work out eight hours a day. I don't think she's doing that. I'll give it to you. That, you know, can change your body a couple years like Jesus. Never really snapped back like I wanted. But when your kids are in their teens or twenties and you're still saying baby weight. No, no. Not a valid excuse anymore.
- [142:56]
Dick Toledo
Typical toxic femininity.
- [142:58]
John Holmberg
Exactly. It'll come up soon that liberals are the blame on my emails. But I guarantee if you took a Look at her, TLC would hire her for one of those 600 pound sisters shows. I saw you looking at her bottom. I know what's going on around here. I'm gonna leave her no tip for being prettier than me. It's 9:17. We got ourselves a Rock wars coming up. Was it me or Brett who won last week?
- [143:27]
Brett
You did.
- [143:27]
John Holmberg
I won. Okay. Trivia. That's right. I won the trivia. That's right. Rock wars is coming up in just moments. It's 98.
- [143:34]
Dick Toledo
It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fees.
- [143:38]
John Holmberg
I have heard enough of this morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. An email. It says with all this tassi Talk this morning I went and looked up all her highlights over her career, but I found Gay's sewing pants was more interesting to watch, so I stuck with that. Thanks, man. That's probably true. Those pants selling this thing. Rock wars is here. I don't want to do the Diana thing because you guys will take it down unsavory racks and I don't trust you becoming this morning running with the bull and. And becoming the bull and I'm not interested in your terrible. I didn't think of that.
- [144:20]
Brett
That would have been a great one.
- [144:21]
John Holmberg
Really good man. I've already won. I would rather go back to another topic we spoke of this morning and that is the release of the Cannibal. Release the Cannibal. That's right. A man who is a incarcerated for the last 12 years in a loony bin has been let go and considered rehabilitated. After just 12 short years ago smacking a stranger in the head, opening his skull, eating his brain, and then popping his eyeballs out and finishing nose off, that happened. He is now free to go anywhere he wants. So Brady has this in his neighborhood. The welcome wagon. Let's welcome our new neighbor. He's gotta live by somebody body. They've let a cannibal back into society. Now maybe this is a new thing we're going to do is rehabilitate cannibals and push them back out there. We need a welcome Wagon song for the new cannibal. Welcome the Cannibal Mine Teal is out. The Ramstein song about actually eating a guy.
- [145:18]
Brett
Cannibal from Static X is out.
- [145:19]
John Holmberg
Cannibal.
- [145:20]
Brett
That's right.
- [145:21]
John Holmberg
So if you want to do a thing to say welcome to the neighborhood. Tyree, the former cannibal. You always like that in front of the word cannibal. Oh, I'm not. I'm a former. Oh, I'm sorry. I was running for no reason. No, no, let me explain. I'm a reformed cannibal. I particularly loved an America back in the day where we would kill cannibals pretty much immediately. But we're in a different world now where cannibals not only don't get chopped up and killed, the second we find out they're cannibals, we try to make them better. And when we feel like they're better, they get to get out with us again. So walking amongst you right now is Tyre. I think his last name was Smith. I don't remember. He's a cannibal. He's gonna be applying for jobs and stuff. Soon. There's a gap in your work history here, Mr. Smith. About 12 years. Well, where were you? Oh, I was incarcerated. Well, that's not. That's unfortunate. What did you do? I ate a stranger's brain and eyeballs. But I'm better now. All right, you're exactly who I'm looking for to head up my next project.
- [146:26]
Brett
The EM50 project?
- [146:27]
John Holmberg
Yeah, the M50 project's all your. Yeah, I'm not so sure. But Hacienda Healthcare has a place for you, Tyree.
- [146:35]
Brett
All right, I got one already.
- [146:39]
John Holmberg
I ain't going to do it again. Need a little more assurance than that. So, a song that welcomes the Cannibal into the neighborhood. Because you got to live somewhere. You got to be ready for this. You want to Suggest something, Holger? @98kupd.com you can text 97936, fire that off and get that done. We'll have our selections next. It's 98K. Update 98kupd.comberg's Morning Sickness. It's time for the weekly battle of musical supremacy known only as Rock Wars. Brought to you by our friends at Mo Money Pond, 12th street and Indian School. Hold on, I gotta find the page because I don't have it memorized yet. It's missing. Not there. No.
- [147:30]
Brett
Did Larry steal it again?
- [147:32]
John Holmberg
There it is. No, it's in there. Shorter long term collateral loans from $10 to over 100,000American dollars. No credit needed, top dollar paid. And the entire process just takes several minutes. Mo money pawn.com, 12th street and Indian School. John Gordon, it's going to be up to you today. We're late. A song to welcome the reformed Cannibal right into your world. He's gotta. He's gotta live somewhere. You sons of judgy pricks. You don't know what your neighbors do. Brady will be happy to be the welcome wagon. Oh, there goes John Gordon.
- [148:01]
Brett
Oh, thanks, Larry.
- [148:03]
John Holmberg
Thanks a lot, Larry.
- [148:06]
Dick Toledo
Can't have nice things.
- [148:07]
John Holmberg
You can't have nice things. Gotta take them away. So a song that welcomes him to our neighborhood. Neighborhood lets him feel comfortable that he's one of the crew, he's a nice guy. Or that you're trying to tell him, you know what? Not in my house. But he's reformed. And you're a judgy prick if you don't let this cannibal live by you. That is according to several psychiatrists in the New England area that said, yeah, you only ate one guy. Big deal. We don't have to worry about trivia. Today, it's gonna be John Gordon picking a winner. Brett, who you got? Well, worries me because I know what your song is.
- [148:36]
Brett
No, I don't think you do.
- [148:37]
John Holmberg
Yes, I do, because I picked it.
- [148:39]
Brett
Well, I think that, you know, Brady, being the nice guy, welcoming everybody in the neighborhood, wants everybody just to get along and welcome friend. And I think Rob Halford said it best with Eat me alive.
- [148:50]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Brady would volunteer himself. Want another bite of meat? It's not fair to make John the judge and you. I didn't know that ahead of time.
- [149:01]
Brett
Come on now.
- [149:04]
John Holmberg
Sounds like an animal. And plus, if anybody's into a dude and say, let's get naked and start biting each other, it's Rob.
- [149:11]
Brett
It goes both ways. There you go.
- [149:13]
John Holmberg
All right. There you go. Brady, what's yours?
- [149:15]
Brady
Mine is also welcoming. I went with Marilyn Manson's Eat Me, Drink Me.
- [149:20]
John Holmberg
No. Very nice, very nice. When did this come out? 90s.
- [149:40]
Brett
No, I think this was early2015. It's like one of those albums that.
- [149:43]
John Holmberg
Nobody cared about too much. He's a big fan. Yeah, it's a good one. Always a huge fan.
- [149:50]
Brady
2007.
- [149:51]
John Holmberg
How do you prepare that? That's all. I think Brady would ask, what would you do different?
- [149:56]
Brett
That was on the album that had heart shaped glasses.
- [149:58]
John Holmberg
Yeah, yeah. You bastards are trying to make him uncomfortable with your eat and drink nonsense.
- [150:03]
Brett
Not at all welcoming.
- [150:04]
John Holmberg
No. You're remind him of the worst day of his life. I think he's a good man. The good fine man. A fine young man. A fine young cannibal. Good thing he's a fine young cannibal. You bastard. It's a good thing he's in our neighborhood. According to the liberal left. But I don't know.
- [150:23]
Dick Toledo
Is that the song you wanted?
- [150:24]
John Holmberg
Good thing, good thing. Yeah. You picked the wrong one.
- [150:27]
Brett
Good thing around either way.
- [150:29]
John Holmberg
Either way it's the Fine young Cannibals. She drives him crazy. It's probably like, God, I want to eat her so bad. I'm like, me too. Not the same. You want to do it a different way. Mind you, on Cannibals, I figured you.
- [150:42]
Brett
Were going eat it from Weird Al because I know you're a big weird Alpha.
- [150:45]
John Holmberg
No, I'm not gonna go with that. Eat. It was eat. It's one of the low. I like Weird Al's original work.
- [150:49]
Brett
Oh, okay.
- [150:50]
John Holmberg
It's awesome stuff, honestly. All right, John G. With time ticking, come over here. Grab, grab. The winner today. Will it be Judas Priest, Eat me alive? Will it be Brady's Song Eat Me, Drink Me by Marilyn Manson. Or will it be the Fine Young Cannibals? Good thing. Even though you played the wrong one, when the topic came up, there was only one band that came to mind. That's right. And it was the Fine Young Cannibals. Give Me Good Things. It's actually a catchy little song I didn't like. She Drives Me Crazy, but I like.
- [151:19]
Brady
It's a good thing he's moving into the neighborhood.
- [151:21]
John Holmberg
It's a good thing that we've reformed the camp cannibal and we can all get along with a cannibal that's now free. What the going on here? It is the Fine Young Cannibals. We can fix them now. Just read the news. It's 98 KUPD.
- [151:40]
Dick Toledo
It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.
- [151:43]
John Holmberg
I have heard enough of this. Bloomberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. That is how you bring a cannibal into your neighborhood. Perfect. Fine Young cannibal. Letting him know it's a good thing. Because I guess that's the world we live in now where we have to not go crazy when a cannibal is set through. I don't know. Is it me or is it society? Is it what's going on? And on Jackie Gleason's birthday. Bread. When the word. Did this word come into? You seem a lot taller on the radio. Cannibal. How old would Jackie have been? 120. You have the paper?
- [152:41]
Brady
108, I think.
- [152:45]
John Holmberg
Was it too far to dig?
- [152:47]
Brady
No, I just remember the date. Well, I think he was born 1916. I was trying to do the math.
- [152:53]
John Holmberg
It's 109.
- [152:54]
Brady
109?
- [152:54]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Close. It's pretty good. God. My grandpa was born in 1908. He had my dad when he was really old, though. But he's older than Jackie Gleason. Jackie Gleason been dead for a while. It's 10 o'clock. It's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our friends@@reactdefense.com the home of tactical black self defense training. I've seen a couple videos here. People are sending me that stuff and it is outrageous when you see somebody who's well trained handle a situation. I told you about the one yesterday. The guy was swinging a bat. Another guy didn't realize that he was about to get beat up. We saw the one this morning where the guy flexed on someone else in A road rage incident. Banged on the car door and waving his gun around. The guy inside the car had a gun. You don't know what you're getting into. Don't pull that crap. I watched that show body cam on id and almost every single time you see this happen, you realize this could have been avoided with any sort of training at all, Any sort of de escalation situation. There was one yesterday where a guy, these motorcycle riders were for no reason at all, blocking an entrance. And instead of just going around going, there's four or five of them at each entrance. That's like 12. There's one of me. Probably not my best moment to sit and go, you can't do this move. A bunch of Hell's Angels looking dudes and a couple of like guys on squiddies. But for the most part, it's. They're up to no good. And they're blocking the entrance into where he needed to be. And it was just a convenience store. You gotta move. And the guy's like, you go get out of here. He's like, no. And he starts to like ram him with the car. So all the bikes go and pull him out of the car and start hitting him with a big wrench, like one of those giant pipe wrenches, the ones that fix like semi truck pipe wrench. Huge. It was this big. I don't know what a pipe wrench French is. It's huge. It was like a crescent, usually red, only it was. Oh no. It was like a real craftsman. Like I would have it, but I don't have anything I need to open that big. And they started hitting him with it. And the cop with the body cam was like, this could have been avoided. This really could have been avoided if he'd just kept going. It's like, God, that's the best self defense in the world is avoidance. I had another one this morning. We were watching Marlon Perkins wrestle that anaconda. What would tackle tactical black tell you to do there? Not get into water with an anaconda. It's easy to avoid these situations. Most of the time we place ourselves in a situation where we need to defend ourselves. It's more often where we are not what's happening. And there's so many ways to avoid it. But if you do find yourself in a pickle, why not know some stuff? That's the best thing you can do. And you can do it for the price. $199 for personal training. Two months. That gets you two months introductory. Basically looking at it going, that's two months of introducing myself to all the stuff. They've got the cardio classes, the bag classes, the self defense stuff, everything. They've got that plane, they got the seminars. You check it all out@reactdefense.com can't beat the price, cannot beat the training. You're going to be in great shape and you're going to learn something about yourself. Start being a sheepdog. Stop being a sheep. Start being smart. It's reactdefense.com the home of tactical Black Brady Entertainment.
- [155:46]
Brady
A marketing firm says Taylor Swift brings a billion dollars in publicity to the NFL. They said even the bad, you know, people booing creates conversation.
- [155:58]
John Holmberg
Yeah. So there's basically exposure. NFL gets attention. That costs a certain amount of money.
- [156:03]
Brady
Yep.
- [156:03]
John Holmberg
Especially with her audience. 250 million social media followers. That's massive. That's ridiculous. You can't even imagine. You can't.
- [156:11]
Dick Toledo
It's like 5% of the world's population.
- [156:13]
John Holmberg
Yeah. Do you know how? I don't know if that's accurate or not. Maybe I can't do massive fast. Probably. Okay.
- [156:20]
Dick Toledo
I just threw it out.
- [156:20]
John Holmberg
But you know how much money it would cost if our audience was 250 million people to advertise on this show?
- [156:26]
Dick Toledo
Man.
- [156:28]
John Holmberg
I mean, just a mere mention of your company, it's that. Yeah.
- [156:33]
Dick Toledo
Just based on small percentage of someone.
- [156:35]
John Holmberg
Acts on that third of people remember the name. Wow. Let alone act on it. If a third. Just remember it. It's branding. You can't buy anyone 80 million. You can't even get that. You can't get those numbers with the Super Bowl. Yeah. You're getting 120 million on Super Bowl. 240 million eyeballs on Taylor Swift's social media accounts. That's crazy.
- [156:56]
Brady
Tyler, the creator treated tweeted the other day.
- [156:59]
John Holmberg
That's your guy.
- [157:00]
Brady
Yeah. He said, joe, when you see me, don't be asking me questions like, remember, why are you here in this major city or are you running a house here? He just says, I'm not your friend.
- [157:13]
John Holmberg
Yeah, he's not.
- [157:15]
Brady
Are you a cop?
- [157:16]
John Holmberg
Yeah. People don't. People don't like being approached by strangers. That's true of celebrity too.
- [157:19]
Brett
Yeah. Brady.
- [157:20]
John Holmberg
Yeah, Brady. Did you hear Tyler, the creator, that goes.
- [157:23]
Brady
I'm not going to ask him a dumb question.
- [157:24]
John Holmberg
No, you're not going to ask him a question at all. God, we need Dr. Rick for you so bad.
- [157:28]
Dick Toledo
We need the Brady version of. I feel like I've been stabbed in the.
- [157:31]
John Holmberg
I guarantee you. Why are you here in this major city? City if anybody asked me that, it'd be like, that guy's crazy.
- [157:39]
Brett
Well, if Tyler came to Gilbert, they would say that.
- [157:43]
John Holmberg
No one would say major city. Why are you hearing this? They think it is major error.
- [157:48]
Dick Toledo
That's true. They do.
- [157:49]
John Holmberg
They do find it to be like a metropolitan, the metropolis known as Gilbert.
- [157:55]
Brady
Ozzy's doing a documentary for Paramount plus called no Escape From Now. It'll premiere later this year. Year says the last six years have been full of some of the worst times I've been through. There's been times where I thought my number was up. I think he's been thinking about that for a while.
- [158:13]
John Holmberg
We have been for him. The fact Ozzie's still alive is shocking in about 33 different ways.
- [158:20]
Brady
Today's the 10th anniversary of the dress. Remember that? Oh, the people got it white or gold.
- [158:28]
John Holmberg
That's only been 10 years. I thought that was longer. I figured 10 years ago was the hot dog sandwich, not sandwich thing. Huh.
- [158:39]
Brady
Liam Gallagher was. They're getting ready to tour 41 dates. Someone said, how long will the set their Oasis, Right? Oasis, that's right.
- [158:49]
John Holmberg
We'll finish your sentences.
- [158:51]
Brady
And he says, it'll be long. The person said, it'll be longer than an hour.
- [158:55]
John Holmberg
Right, the show, yeah.
- [158:57]
Brady
He said 59 minutes. 59 seconds.
- [159:00]
John Holmberg
Being a dick.
- [159:01]
Brady
Yeah. So Oasis, is he being funny or.
- [159:05]
John Holmberg
Probably not.
- [159:06]
Brett
Depends on when they get in a fight.
- [159:07]
John Holmberg
Yeah, that's exactly it.
- [159:09]
Brett
I mean.
- [159:09]
John Holmberg
Yeah. What time that they stopped getting along on stage? You got another 10 minutes before at least one guy leaves. Remember that one show they did for MTV where Liam sat up in the balcony and watched Oasis play? He wouldn't sing.
- [159:23]
Brett
I miss that.
- [159:24]
John Holmberg
And his brother Noel did all the songs and did them great. And even Liam at the end goes, evidently, they don't need me. He threw this thing and he threw a big fit. He goes, but I write all the songs. And then he got mad, started saying that he's. He's paying four different dudes all the royalties of songs that he's writing and putting together. He can do this himself. Those two will hate each other. Oh, again, watch.
- [159:49]
Brett
What's the fanduel on the tour? Happening all the way through.
- [159:52]
John Holmberg
It's going to be tight. But I said that about Guns N Roses, and they. For seven or eight years now, on time, they're playing it right. So maybe Oasis grew up a little.
- [160:01]
Brady
Maybe the Rocklahoma 2025 lineup's been announced. Some Labor Day weekend, Shinedown 5, Finger Breaking, Benjamin, Three Days Grace.
- [160:13]
John Holmberg
Wow. It's all the same band.
- [160:15]
Brady
Your guy. Alice Cooper.
- [160:16]
John Holmberg
Oh, God. I'm out.
- [160:17]
Dick Toledo
Oops.
- [160:17]
Brady
Bruce Dickinson. Hey, the Darkness.
- [160:21]
Dick Toledo
Wait a minute. Just Bruce?
- [160:22]
Brady
Yep.
- [160:23]
John Holmberg
He's not with the rest. He's just gonna. Spoken word. High pitched. Spoken word.
- [160:28]
Brady
Tickets go on sale on Friday.
- [160:32]
Dick Toledo
Does he get to fly the plane when it's just him?
- [160:34]
John Holmberg
Bruce? Yeah, it's a good question.
- [160:37]
Brett
It's a lot smaller plane.
- [160:38]
John Holmberg
Yeah. He gets the. The dinghy. Does planes have dinghies? I think he gets them.
- [160:41]
Brett
He's flying that one that the Southwest Airlines met in Chicago. Chicago.
- [160:47]
John Holmberg
Would you go to that? John? That's not a very good lineup for Rocklahoma. Rocklahoma usually has a pretty. It's okay, but it's like. That sounds like something that could come through any town.
- [160:56]
Dick Toledo
Yeah.
- [160:56]
John Holmberg
Shine Down. Five Finger and Three Doors down or whatever. It was three days.
- [160:59]
Dick Toledo
One of our you Fest.
- [161:00]
John Holmberg
Yeah, we could do that. Yeah. Huh. I mean, there's 75 bands and those are the top ones. Oh, my God.
- [161:11]
Brett
Maybe the Pussycat's playing. You can go check them out there.
- [161:13]
John Holmberg
I'd go see Faster Pussycat in Oklahoma just for the crowd. I want to see oklahoma. Faster pussycat.
- [161:19]
Brady
311. It's gonna be.
- [161:20]
John Holmberg
Oh, God. Oh, geez. I'll kill myself before I go. I hope I'm on the. On the Runway when my plane lands. I hope there's another plane there to avoid.
- [161:31]
Brady
311 and a bunch of solo guys that are in like Tom Morale, Morello, D. Snyder.
- [161:38]
John Holmberg
Just. I think they're just gonna do Rolling Up, Hanging Out. Morello can do some stuff by himself, but. All right, that's interesting. All right, well, that's it. Larry's coming up next. I think he's. He's got you Fest tickets for you for Ru Fest, which is better than Rocklahoma. That's rock Home is okay. It's good. The bands are good. I just. You expect that to be just explosive because it's a one off. It's good. I saw Shine down in Vegas at the mgm. Good.
- [162:07]
Brett
Don't bully them.
- [162:08]
John Holmberg
We left a little early. You're right. I am kind of being a bully. They're very sensitive. We're done. Larry's Next. He's got UFest tickets for you and many other things. Be nice to Larry. He'll be nice back. We're done. We'll see you tomorrow. Right here in the morning sickness. So long.
- [162:22]
Dick Toledo
It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership.
- [162:26]
John Holmberg
I have heard enough of this.