02-26-26 - BR - THU - Women Didn't Shave Pits Until 1910s - Would You Take 10Mil Now But Lose 10yrs Off Your Life - Man In Watts Gets Hawk Drunk Spins Donuts In Car

Summary

Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – Arizona

Episode: 02-26-26 - BR - THU – Women Didn’t Shave Pits Until 1910s – Would You Take $10M But Lose 10yrs Off Your Life – Man In Watts Gets Hawk Drunk, Spins Donuts In Car
Date: February 26, 2026
Hosts: John Holmberg (A), Brady Bogen (B), Bret Vesely (C), Dick Toledo

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Episode Overview

This lively episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness blends the show’s trademark irreverent humor with social commentary, weird news, and candid conversations. The team tackles quirky historical facts (like the origins of women shaving their armpits), debates a $10M “life trade-off” hypothetical, discusses strange wildlife news (including an intoxicated hawk), and riffs on everything from fast food and hygiene history to OnlyFans statistics.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. McDonald’s, Surgery & "McJeffing"

• Holmberg playfully accuses Brady of undue temptation regarding McDonald’s, referencing Brady’s surgery and his attempt at restraint.
  • Quote: "What he needs is a big head of lettuce. You're not eating the arch, are you?" – Holmberg (02:00)
• Brady recounts visiting McDonald’s for a Shamrock Shake, only to find the machine broken. Debates over whether anyone actually eats in the restaurant or only hobos do.
  • Quote: "I didn’t want to eat in my car...it was kind of spontaneous." – Brady (08:20)
• Topics spiral into jokes about big fast-food orders and resisting temptations after surgery.

2. Fun Facts & Hygiene History

• National Chili Day and National Toast Day are acknowledged, cueing jokes.
• "Fun Fact": Women didn’t start shaving their armpits until the mid-1910s.
  • Quote: "Isn’t that amazing what our great grandparents went through? ... This hairy bitch laying on me smelling? There’s no feminine hygiene." – Holmberg (10:31)
• The crew vividly imagines unsanitary historical hygiene (pre-feminine products, communal bathing) and lampoons the discomforts of pre-modern life.
  • Memorable moment: Extended riff about women having to use makeshift hygiene solutions, squatting by a water mill – both horrified and amused by the idea.

3. Personal Hygiene and God’s Design

• The crew muses about body odor, deodorant's late invention, and why, if God is perfect, humans sweat and stink.
  • Quote: "We’re a flawed mess. We stink...Prior to 1930, everybody stunk. There was no oral sex worth it." – Holmberg (14:29)

4. OnlyFans and Adult Work Earnings

• Discussion about breaking earnings data from OnlyFans/sex work research.
  • Stats: Average OnlyFans creator now earns ~$58,700/year; most common range is $10k-$40k; ~20% make over $100k. (16:24)
• Hosts debate the sense and fairness of online adult content, and joke about who could or couldn’t profit.
  • Quote: "If you’re pretty, there ain’t no harm in that, you’re already doing it for free." – Holmberg (17:19)

5. News Bites: Substance Abuse & Animal Oddities

• Story of a man in Sebastopol, CA, who crashed his SUV while doing whippets and kept doing them while trapped.
  • "He just kept doing whippets until the cops yanked him." – Brady (18:30)
• Notable contrast: Female driver crashes into a Phoenix house (not drug-fueled)—“That makes sense, she just goofed.”
• Convicted felon in Watts gave a Cooper’s hawk a “buzz ball” drink on video, was sentenced to jail and probation.
  • Quote: "That Hawk drinking on my buzz—seems kind of odd." – Holmberg (25:11)
• Oldest living horse record: Currently a 37-year-old horse, though historical claims go higher (28:03).

6. $10 Million for 10 Years Off Your Life (Hypothetical)

• 63% say “yes” to the proposition on a social media poll—hosts overwhelmingly in favor, with age affecting answers.
  • Quote: "Ten years off my life is fine. That means I can quit today and be healthy enough to enjoy that money." – Holmberg (19:21)
• Jokes about their own family genetic history and a tongue-in-cheek wish not to live too long.
  • "Hope to Christ I don’t have 30 years left." – Holmberg (19:49)
  • "I do not want to live well into my 90s." – Bret (20:40)

7. Wild America & Absurd News

• Attempt to name the pygmy hippo at the zoo after “Rachel Catherine”, with an ongoing riff about the hosts’ nemeses.
• Story reviews: Drunk hawks, Florida man with a shovel at a Chinese restaurant (COVID-19 conspiracy), and wild street fights with machetes.
  • Quote: "All Chinese restaurants are going to release a new strain of COVID on July 6th." – Brady (26:46)
• Watching internet clips: fake AI mishaps, street brawls in Cambodia, and a disturbingly vivid homeless scenario in San Francisco.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Pre-Modern Hygiene:
  "You had to get it like the 5 second rule with food. Now the second she got that thing out of the Olson water mill, you had to start eating right then." – Holmberg (15:25)
• On OnlyFans:
  “If you’re not so pretty, if you’re Rachel—do it also. There’s a market there. A bunch of weirdos with crossed eyes will look at you.” – Bret (17:26)
• On the $10M for 10 Years Hypothetical:
  "Depending on your age—Hope to Christ I don't have 30 years left!" – Holmberg (19:49)
• Wild America, Drunk Hawk:
  "Hawk loves him some buzz ball… Is the Hawk doing better now?" – Brady (24:22)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |---------|----------------| | Fast Food Temptations & Surgery | 02:00 – 03:00 | | National Toast & Chili Day/Fun Facts | 06:41 – 07:13 | | Hygiene History and Riffs | 10:31 – 12:54 | | OnlyFans/Average Earnings | 16:23 – 17:37 | | News: Whippets, Crashes | 17:43 – 18:36 | | Hypothetical: $10M for 10 Years | 19:01 – 21:25 | | Wild America – Pygmy Hippo, Drunk Hawk | 21:53 – 25:11, 24:07 – 24:40 | | Guinness Horse Record | 27:46 – 28:41 | | AI Fails & Street Fight Videos | 29:46 – 32:37 |

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Tone & Personality

• The episode is characteristically irreverent, raunchy, unscripted, and full of sarcastic wit. The banter between Holmberg and cohosts is quick-fire, well-oiled, and deeply familiar.
• Nothing is sacred—hygiene, God’s design, gender stereotypes, and bodily functions are all fair game, usually to lampoon the everyday or the historical.
• Listeners come for the strange news and hot takes, but stay for the unfiltered chemistry and inside jokes (especially regarding “Rachel and Catherine”).

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Summary

This episode is a classic sampling of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness—unabashed, unfiltered, and weaving together offbeat news, dirty jokes, and unexpected philosophical asides. Whether it’s reflecting on the horrors of 19th-century hygiene, weighing the price of life, or laughing at the misfortunes and madness of the week’s weirdest headlines, the crew’s camaraderie and brutal honesty make even the grossest stories unmissable radio.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. It's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness, and I've got a new friend I'm fired up to tell you about Modern Resolution Windows and Doors. And I'm genuinely excited to tell you that these guys are good. Locally owned, licensed, bonded, insured, custom windows and doors made in America with a lifetime guarantee, free labor on six or more units. Mention Holmberg, and you'll get an extra 500 bucks off modern Resolution Windows and Doors, my new find and your home's new upgrade. Free in home consultations. All you got to do is call, text, or book [e-mail] give them a call. 480-665-5732. Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[B]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns, where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[A]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[B]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it all online. That simple.

[A]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms. You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? The more I'm reading about it, Brett, you are discord. Brett just tried to convince Brady to get a big arch. Like that's the last thing this man needs right now. What he's got, he's got a little kidney, and you're trying to get a

[B]

little bit of a.

[A]

Report the news to everybody on how good it is. The worst part is I watched him light up when you said you had that big archette, and Brady goes Tuesday like it was. There wasn't a beat in between hearing you say the big arch at McDonald's and Tuesday, 1050 calories for the burger. Something like that, yeah.

[B]

1047.

[A]

All right, suddenly he's calories.

[B]

Don't add.

[A]

Don't add calories on there. Well, you're gonna have fries. Come on. You can't go there and not have fries. You you are the discord. And you've talked him into needing a big arch. What he needs is a big head of lettuce. You're not eating the arch, are you? You're not going to go get the arch.

[B]

I've had McDonald's one time since.

[A]

Since the surgery. All right. Okay. Making sure. Got an email from a guy and he's absolutely right. He basically said, hey, I just saw some pictures of the pygmy hippo, and I just don't think we should do that to Rachel or Catherine. That pygmy is too cute to stamp, though. It's probably true. It's not fair to do. The pygmy is like, yeah, don't name it. Rachel, Catherine, Pygmy. It would be way too cute. Named after those two insufferable C words. I'm also pretty sure there's no way it would be able to grow to the size to adequately, adequately represent the two of them. And that's very true.

[B]

It's a.

[A]

It's a pygmy.

[B]

Right. Only the male would be big enough.

[A]

Right. And even then, we're talking about Rachel and Catherine here. 480 is nothing. We're just. It's barely tipping the scales again. Like Rico Blaze said yesterday, when Rachel gets on the scale, it doesn't give a number, just says, call Rico. You made it. You made it past the threshold. It's eight o', clock, everybody. And that means it's time for another word. Hold on.

[B]

Kirk ended up.

[A]

Kirk is over. Justice is now the word we're looking for. Justice is the 8 o' clock word for the Metallica concert. And oh, my, is that thing going gangbusters. You guys are crushing this thing. Every hour up until 9pm and then you got one hour after that to get that word and we go till 10. You can try to disappear to the sphere with our friends Metallica getting this awesome deal that only we're getting. 25 years of. This show has gotten us a little access with the folks at Metallica, and I don't know who else is doing this across the country, but it is few and far between, and they got it to us. So every hour we give you a word and you got a chance to go there. Metallica. Two shows. Two separate shows. One on October 1, one on October 3. You get tickets to both of those. This is thousands of dollars in tickets. Plus you get to stay in a hotel. We put you in. Haven't. I don't know which one that's going to be. But they're. They're going to line you up in a nice.

[B]

You'll have a bed.

[A]

You have a nice place. It's not going to be circus. Circus? Yeah. You're not. Well, it might be circus, but I'm not going to say it isn't just in case it is. But I'm not. But it'll be a nice place. There'll be a roof and walls and people and, like, bathrooms inside. And then we're going to give you 200 bucks in fuel to get you there. So it works out great. The word for 8 o' clock justice. So hop on that right away. Dale is not coming in today at 9, but that's okay because Ron Capps is back.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

The drags are here and Ron Capps is coming in, doing some test runs. And we're going to have caps come in. His annual visit. Love, Ron. As NHRA is rolling back into the city on a very weekend.

[C]

I.

[A]

This might be the hottest it's ever been when they raced. So we'll.

[B]

We'll.

[A]

We'll definitely see some.

[B]

I think. I think that's a good temperature.

[A]

90 is like, fast.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Remember that one year was in the high 80s. He goes, this is. We're gonna break some records. And that is if you. Again, it's the eargasm you have never had in your life. If you'd like to do this thing. It is. I don't know how my eyes gonna do. If I go. This bubble in my eye might not be able to handle the sound. I'm going to call the doctor and ask.

[B]

I'm missing this year.

[A]

Where are you going? Oh, yeah, you're leaving for a wedding. Forgot about that. The drags aren't till next month, though. I know. He's doing some testing, though. Oh, that's true.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I think I'm putting this on next month.

[B]

Oh, good.

[A]

Okay. He's just doing the testing. I forgot. I'm sitting there adding this item. Yeah. Because I got to go out there on that Saturday, so. All right. So he's just going to come in here, dick around after he. But you can hear him if you're up there at Wild Horse Pass, you'll be able to hear him racing and goofing around even further than that. You're in Ahwatuki. So we'll talk to Ron a little later this morning. And Josh Blue is going to join us in a while as well. Right now it's time for Brady to give you all the news while you're clicking the word justice into the 8 o' clock box on our app and our website. And it's brought to you by our friends at allpro shade. Allprochade.com 20 years of doing this job has made them better. Each and every day they get a little bit better than they were yesterday because they've been at it for a long time. And that's what happens when you keep going. These guys are the best in the business. Making shade at your house and making it look like it's supposed to be part of your house, not just something that's attached to it. It's a room for your outdoor living, and you need it right now. 90 degrees. I can drop those temperatures about 15 degrees. We're in February and it's 90. Get it down to 75 and enjoy that patio space you've been dodging because of that dreaded sunshine. Put some shade on your life and make it cozy, comfy. Then put a TV back there and not have any glare. They'll fix that, too. AllProchade.com Brady reported.

[B]

Good Thursday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[A]

Hi.

[B]

Happy National Chile Day. And this is Big Day, National Toast Day.

[A]

First Toledo. Yeah, he's here. By the way, what you're doing with McDonald's is pointed out. It's actually a word for it. You haven't had it since. But once since the surgery, you're McJeffing. You're kind of in between McDonald's meals. You're walking to the next run.

[B]

Tuesday might change. Because remember, I was. I was talking about going for the Shamrock Shake.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

And I did. I did go in there, but the machine was broken.

[A]

Never on. Sorry. The shamrock machine is broken. Yeah. We cannot possibly house the needs that you will require.

[B]

A couple of basis fun facts.

[A]

Did you go in for a Shamrock Shake?

[B]

I did.

[A]

You park and get out at McDonald's?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why? I can't remember why you wanted this fresh smell.

[B]

I'm just gonna go in.

[A]

So my guess is you didn't leave

[B]

with nothing and take in the smells.

[A]

No, no. You went in for the Shamrock Shake. But you're like, well, when in Rome.

[C]

No, you know why.

[A]

Yeah, I'm sure you did. That was your. But wait a minute. That was your one. McDonald's. Okay.

[C]

So you can have a conversation with the camera.

[A]

Help. Got any cheese? Of course we have cheese.

[B]

Got some bread?

[A]

Yeah, we got bread. Butter. Yeah. Make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Do you have anybody even at the counter anymore? Don't they have those and stuff?

[B]

They got both.

[A]

Oh, okay. I wouldn't choose the people option.

[B]

Oh, no. I did the screen.

[A]

Did you?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow. So you went in to not interact?

[B]

I decided I'll spend a little time there.

[A]

Why?

[B]

I had, like, 15 minutes.

[A]

It's not about time. The drive through takes the same amount of time.

[B]

Well, I wasn't gonna. I didn't want to eat in my car.

[A]

You didn't want to Wait a minute in your car?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You weren't gonna eat?

[B]

It was kind of spontaneous. I said, oh, could I. Could I eat before I go into my. In my meeting?

[A]

What was the meeting for?

[B]

It's probably going to the doctor.

[A]

Oh, yeah. It's the best thing to do is load up on some shamrock shakes before an exam. That's weird. I don't think anybody even went in anymore. Just hobos when it's hot. And evidently. Brady.

[B]

I saw. I saw they had a ball pit, and I'm like, I gotta.

[A]

You gotta dive into that. I'm with you on that.

[B]

In all female spacewalk was planned in 2019, but it had to be canceled because NASA did not have two spacesuits to fit two women. So instead, they sent one woman and one man.

[A]

Wait a minute. There was a fat one. What are we talking?

[B]

No, the.

[C]

They didn't have one suit.

[A]

We're not gonna get.

[B]

You only had one lady suit.

[A]

They couldn't manufacture a second.

[B]

I guess not.

[A]

Paul Hugo Boss. He made a whole army's worth of suits once. They just didn't want him up there. That is not about. Well, no, not at all. Last night on the news, I realized that I am. I am a misogynist. Like those women that scream at me that I'm. You're a misogynist. No, I'm not. I'm just a realist. And there's some of that. That kind of balanced. Last night, the news said a car has crashed into a house in central Phoenix. I'm like, oh, geez, what happened? The woman driving. And I'm like. And the story ended like two words later. Like, they didn't even dive in. Like. And I was like, yeah, that makes sense. She just goofed. It wasn't like running from the law or some sort of weird. She just goofed and ran into a house.

[B]

Only one NFL team has a plant for a logo

[A]

for a logo or

[B]

mascot for a logo. There you go.

[C]

Fleur de Lis.

[A]

Oh, yeah, the Fleur de Lis.

[B]

The flower, stylized lily.

[A]

Yeah. Great band.

[B]

Women didn't start shaving their armpits until the mid-1910s.

[A]

Isn't that amazing what our great grandparents went through? They fought a civil war. I wouldn't have fought for anything if I was alive back then. I'm like, I don't care. I want to be dead. This hairy bitch laying on me smelling there's no feminine hygiene. She's got a sock stuffed in there every 28 days. Too far. She's got some sort of like she has to cut the corner of the potato sack out and patch that thing up every 28 days. Oh, she probably just had like a wooden cup or she went over to that water water mill and just squatted.

[B]

Oh yeah, the water milk.

[A]

I don't know what they're doing. Should have washed you to go down and do that weird.

[B]

Scrub the clothes on the rock.

[A]

You know, she's squatting over water and just splashing it on there. It's like, sorry about this at that time, Troy. Michael might have been right. Oh, Troy. Well, think about, think about that. It wasn't toilet paper either. Morning sickness medicate. Kupd. All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Hit up the east side to check out Josh Blue performing at the Tempe Improv Downt at Stand Up Live. It's the comedy of Phil Hanley for you this week. And up north of Desert Ridge you got Zach rushing and Michael Loftus leading you into the weekend where you can see friend of the show Brian Callan on Friday and Saturday. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com well,

[C]

it's now the NBA's time to shine. For us Suns fans, that means fast breaks and buzzer beaters are front and center. It's Dick Toledo for Underdog, the app where picking the NBA can score you 5,000 times your money. And playing on under underdog is so easy. Just pick a players will go higher or lower on their stats and here's a sneaky good play I like. Take Grayson Allen higher on three point attempts and Mark Williams higher on rebounds. But whatever the stat line you like, Underdog's got it. So play on Underdog with me and download the app today and use promo code HMS to score $75 in bonus entries when you play your first $5. Underdog make picks win money must be 18 19 in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 in Colorado for some games 21+ in Arizona Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. Concerned with your 1-800-My-Reset or 1-800- Gambler or visit www.ncpgambling.org Arizona 1-800-Next Step. 1-800-639-8783 or text Next Step to 53342 New York. Call the 24.7Hope line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text Hope NY to 467369.

[A]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness. We didn't invent anything good until like 19. They didn't have it either. So they had a twofer and all that heroin picture squatting over there at that. At the Olson water Mill. Sorry, Mr. Olson. That time of the month. She's squatting out a tomato juice right in our water again. Love. Isabel, go outside and push that lady into the drink. She can't go putting a tomato sauce an hour drinking water. By the way, it's time for a bath. And if you know what that meant at the time, you ran one bath and everybody got it. And that was after a hard day's work at the water mill, you know, netting out all that tomato sauce so the family could drink. You think about it. They didn't shave till 1910 and that's

[B]

where they named it V8 Brady.

[A]

They didn't. Yeah, because you could use it. They didn't shave till 1910. But that wasn't all of them.

[B]

The pits. Right.

[C]

Only.

[A]

Yeah, that wasn't all of them. That didn't catch on probably till the 40s.

[B]

That was fancy folks.

[A]

Yeah, the fancy lasses could get rid of some armpit hair in the tens everyday lady. 50s and 60s. Probably is when they first end deodorant. That wasn't a thing. They rubbed like rocks on their armpits. That's how I know your guys.

[B]

And you probably didn't do it until you're old enough.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you're going through high school every morning.

[A]

I don't care how religious you are. Every morning you admit your God's kind of a jerk because you cover up everything he screwed up. Deodorant, perfume. We're a. We're a flawed mess. We stink. He made a smell. He could have made us to where we sweat. And it was nice either. Made it so we didn't sweat.

[B]

You have to be on the same page on that. Wear deodorant so then you don't smell.

[A]

He could have put us on a planet that we didn't suffer from the sun. He could have put Us on a place where like, Jesus Christ, it's a little warm, don't you think? Our bodies don't like it Once it's past 85, start gushing water out of our and stinks. Prior to 1930, everybody stunk. There was no oral sex worth it unless she was down at that Olson mill, dipping it down into that water and then you had to get right on.

[B]

Must have been worth it even back then because, I mean, you go to a place like Pompeii, oh yeah, they

[A]

had pictures, but again they had a lake. And here's the other thing. You had to get it like the 5 second rule with food. Now the second she got that thing out of the Olson water mill, you had to start eating right then. Well, it's drip dry.

[B]

Don't tell.

[A]

Just drip dry. Exactly.

[B]

Don't eat that.

[A]

Don't touch it. Oh, it was horrible. Oh. Got away with it. And then that smell started to come back. That's a fact. You see dudes running out and tearing their hats and their suspendees off. Running out there, watching her, squatting over that. I'm getting her. I'm gonna get her. I got her. I got a clean one, boys.

[B]

That's why so many teeth were missing.

[A]

Just rotting them out because they're bashing into her pelvic bottom. And another thing, it didn't have dentistry. Really. They had it, but it wasn't anywhere. It was just a dude with pliers. What you got? This hurts. Ow.

[B]

A while back, only fans said the average creator made around 1300 bucks per year. But according to a new survey from about the adult industry, a research firm said the average creator earns about 58, 700 a year from adult work or about 5k per month. The most common range is 10k to 40k a year at 19%. Then you have another 20% that will take in more than 100k a year.

[A]

A lot of numbers getting thrown around.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Say only fans are pulling a hundred thousand. Is that what you're saying? Prostitutes? Yeah.

[B]

35 of creators said there they were entirely dependent on their adult work for their survival, while 34 have other jobs too.

[A]

Look, if you're pretty, there ain't no harm in that. You're already doing it for free on like Instagram and all the other stuff.

[C]

We've seen the other side too. If you're not so pretty, if you're Rachel, do it. Also, there's a market there.

[A]

There's a bunch of weirdos with crossed eyes that'll look at you,

[C]

get your Confidence back. Rachel, do that.

[A]

I don't know. Don't read the comments. Don't read.

[C]

Turn those off.

[A]

Turn the comments off.

[B]

Some dude in Northern California crashes SUV on Tuesday while doing whippets and kept doing whippets while waiting to be rescued.

[A]

People still do that? I never got it.

[B]

They didn't release his name, but they know he's 47 years old. The crash happened around 6am Tuesday morning in the town of Sebastopol. Sebastopol.

[A]

Close enough.

[B]

It's in the wine country.

[A]

Sure it is.

[B]

Yeah. They're still doing whippets. So cops say he was driving a Land Rover through the town at an unsafe speed when he lost control, hit a curb, plowed through a bank sign, hit several small trees, went through a parking lot, and slammed into a brick wall.

[A]

He just kept going.

[B]

His car was totaled. He was trapped inside. So he just kept doing whippets until the cops yanked him.

[A]

You know, that's a good news story about a guy who hit a building last night. It was Jared Dillingham on Channel 3 going, a car hit a house down Phoenix. It was a woman. And then the story was over. They didn't say she was on whippets or bashing in. Back to you. He didn't want to stretch it out too much. We know she didn't drive through a whole vineyard and, like, knock down trees and mailboxes and stuff. She was just. The woman had a house downtown. Anyway, that's not really news.

[B]

So here's a hypothetical poll that someone did on social media. Pretty good. The question was, you can get $10 million right now, but your lifespan will decrease by 10 years.

[A]

I'll take it.

[B]

You take the offer.

[C]

How much?

[A]

I want to get old.

[B]

10,000. 10 million.

[C]

Oh, 10 million.

[B]

Yes, absolutely. Decreased by 10 years. 63% of the people said yes in a heartbeat.

[A]

Here's the reason why the other ones are lying. I'm 53.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

10 years off. My life is fine. That means I can quit today and I'm healthy enough to enjoy that money as retirement rather than struggle or fight to retire.

[B]

So a couple of comments. You know, guys like Win, Win. Another guy said, make it a decrease of 30 years and I'll still think,

[A]

Yeah, I don't know. Depending on your age. Hope to Christ I don't have 30 years left.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Yeah. I'll go to like, 66, 67. But I've been looking at Trip getting old ain't good.

[C]

I told my.

[A]

I just. He just walks like he wants out

[C]

when I Met my actual aunt, my. My dad's sister. I asked her, I'm like, hey. I go, what's the deal with the health of the men in this family? I go, I don't know anything. You know, what am. What am I looking at? And she goes, well, I don't want to disappoint you or anything.

[A]

I have a. I have a tape of you, actually. Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Where are the men in this country?

[A]

Where are the men in this world? What the hell have we become? Sorry. The tape of him asking his aunt.

[C]

So I asked, I asked her, how long do they live? She goes, well, I don't want to disappoint you, but all the men in this family have lived well into their 90s. I do not want to live well into my 90s.

[A]

So I'll take. I'll take.

[C]

Checking out at 80.

[A]

I'm starting to look at my. My dad and his sisters. My dad's super duper healthy at 78. Knock him when he's 78. And like, his. His one sister, like 91, is that she's doing great.

[C]

C word Joan.

[A]

No, no, no, no. To Aunt Joan. It was misspelled. I just didn't realize it was a one letter difference. Yes, it became C word Joan, but that was a complete accident on text. I didn't realize that was happening. I didn't realize Ant and the C word were one letter apart. They're totally. They're totally different pronunciations. But she's in her 80s. She's doing great. She had all sorts of health problems, so I'm hoping it skips a generation because my dad's dad got real sick at like his late 60s, and then he lived to be like 74, but it was like 68, 69. He got. He got the bad boy.

[C]

So it's just your dad and the two sisters.

[A]

Two sisters. And then my Grandma was. Till 80 something, but she didn't. The last couple years were just her wandering around looking at clouds.

[C]

Alvar have brothers?

[A]

You know what? I don't know. I think so. A lot of people named Pear and Ingvar.

[C]

Right? The names of the furniture.

[A]

Yeah. If. Yeah, if I go through ikea, I'm like, that was my uncle's name. That's my great uncle's name. A lot of, um, lots. And I didn't. We didn't pay attention.

[B]

I got a quick Wild America.

[A]

Okay. Is it about the pygmy hippo?

[B]

Hello, my friends. I'm Brady Bogan, and this is your Wild America. You can do that real Quick to pygmy hippo. Brett mentioned it.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Name's Jelly Bean. Well, no, we're trying to go for Rachel Catherine.

[A]

Rachel Catherine Ryan, we're going to. Yeah, we call it Rachel Catherine jelly. Venus already taken it. Too urban.

[B]

We got a convicted felon from Watts who's been sentenced to 45 days in jail and 12 months probation for posting a video of himself feeding a Cooper's hawk a buzz ball.

[A]

I don't know what a buzzball is.

[B]

That's one of those little ball drinks that are pre mixed cocktails.

[A]

Okay. Oh no, I'm not a hillbilly. I don't have those.

[B]

It is a sugar bomb.

[A]

I don't have those. I'm not a redneck.

[C]

They have, they have the giant one that looks like the old Coors light ball keg. You rem remember those?

[A]

Oh, they have those too.

[C]

Giant ones.

[B]

A 2 gallon one or something like that.

[A]

Or I as far as I go, Caesar, I've got high noon. That's as far as I'll go. As far as that Morning sickness medicate.

[B]

It's Brady for game day men's health, the valley's largest men's health clinic with 12 locations. You should schedule a complimentary appointment today. Go to gamedaymen's health.com Every location has a cool man cave environment. You'll sit down with a board certified medical director and figure out what treatment that can help you. They have an on site lab and you will know what your testosterone level is. During your first meeting, do what thousands of Phoenix area men are doing by going to gamedaymen's health.com and schedule your complimentary appointment. You got to get back in the game with game day men's health.

[A]

It's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug hopkins.com let's talk about the people who make claims. For instance, a company out there saying they'll get you 100% of market value for your home. And a lot of times Mr. 100% getting that inspection and says oh, 100% just dropped because you've got a few more problems. Don't play play around with these people. Trust me when I say you can trust TV's Doug Hopkins. He won't play with the offer at all. If he does, he'll give you $5,000 guaranteed. You can start the process at Doug hopkins.com or grab that phone and sing Hopkins 1, 800, now Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[B]

Cesar Diaz was the guy feeding the Cooper's hockey. Found it. He was injured. It was in this park. And posted. Hanging out with the homie. And says Hawk loves him some buzzball.

[A]

Is the Hawk live?

[B]

It's alive. And he's drinking the buzz ball.

[A]

But is the hawk doing better now?

[B]

Yeah, because it worked. He released it by the time the wildlife officials showed up. Like I said, he got 45 days in jail and 12 months probation.

[A]

Where was he at?

[B]

Some parking lots.

[A]

What is that? You know, this is playing in the background, too. Oh, my God. What up, Hawk? You doing player? Yeah, Hawk's looking at him, just kind of bobbing his head. My wing hurts. Yeah, you need a little sip out. Let's pour one out for your Hawk homies.

[B]

Tip him a buzz ball.

[A]

Bro, waking up. Let's take your ass to the stove. That Hawk drinking on my buzz. Seems kind of odd. No barking from the dog. How's this happening outside? How's this happening outside at a park? Your house is on fire. It was Watts. They're not. There's not. It's not on a loop. Yeah, it is. No, it isn.

[C]

Well, they had smoke detectors outside.

[A]

Three 11s on a loop at Brady's neighborhood.

[B]

They have one of those street lights. They got speakers now in my neighborhood.

[A]

We must be in Watts. Yeah. You guys hear that? You guys hear that? Oh, boy. Somebody messed around. Got a triple double. And I heard it. We should probably turn around. What are the lights of the Goodyear Blimpson? Nice cubes of pimp. We're in a bad neighborhood. The blimp. The blimp is even acquiescing. If you've ever said that phrase in your life, you're in a bad room. The blimp is acquiescing. It's time to turn around. It's adapting. Jesus Christ. The blimp's trying to please him.

[B]

Got a Florida man that got arrested. Deputies found him at a Chinese restaurant with a shovel, shouting, I had to destroy that restaurant. All Chinese restaurants are going to release a new strain of COVID on July 6th.

[A]

Oh, he knows the day. Yeah, if they've got. Oh, they're not ready yet. It's like the big arch.

[B]

So Richard Jarvis was trying to destroy the restaurant with a shovel.

[A]

Probably should have picked a better weapon. Don Quixote. But still, all of them. All the Chinese restaurants, he was just.

[B]

Well, yeah, and he started with this one. Pearls. Chinese restaurant.

[A]

George Yangs. Golden. Golden Coin. We're all done. We'll check. What's that guy In Ohio's place. Mark something or other.

[B]

Mark Pies. China Gate.

[A]

Brady knows

[B]

the Noodle King.

[C]

Kudos to you, Brett, for logging that one away, too.

[A]

No, he keeps those. Those little gems are in Brett's racist bag of tricks. Yeah, he's like Gallagher, only instead of fruity, pulls out after Slur smashes it.

[B]

We got a horse that's in the Guinness.

[A]

What?

[B]

Records. A horse. Oh, not a whore.

[A]

That's what I heard.

[B]

It's the oldest horse that's still living.

[A]

Well, that would make sense.

[B]

Well,

[A]

don't welcome that.

[B]

That's just a bit because the. The current, not because. No, the one that passed away was 38 years old. This one is now 37 years in 329.

[A]

It's an old horse. Yeah, there are much older horses that are no longer hoarded.

[B]

According to the Guinness world Records, was 62 years old.

[A]

It made it 62.

[B]

Yeah, but that was back years ago, in the early 1900s.

[A]

They didn't keep good records.

[B]

And they're. They're questioning whether or not.

[A]

They don't even know

[B]

Old Billy died at the age of 62 in 1822.

[A]

They don't even know how old Jan is.

[B]

Pop a retina.

[A]

They don't know how old Jan is.

[B]

Careful.

[A]

An 1810 horse. They have the documentation. You know, Brett, that horse that died is no longer the oldest horse. Oh, really? Well, of the living ones, there's much older ones that are dead also. You know, like Genghis Khan's horse. A lot older than the Horsebury we were talking about. The ones are living still. And then, you know, Nebuchadnezzar's horse. He was. And then Nimrod had. Yeah, Nimrod. I did. About the little Rangers horse. Silver is no longer part of the. He's very old, but. Yeah, that's Trigger. Trigger.

[B]

I knew that would get him.

[A]

He set me up.

[B]

Got a couple of pretty videos.

[A]

Eight o' clock. Word is justice still. It's gonna happen till nine. It's the oldest word in the eight o' clock hour.

[B]

Living. Currently living word. First one's a torn bicep.

[C]

Brady's been duped by AI AI.

[A]

Oh, this is an AI one. Oh, we're gonna watch a. A guy pulling on a chain. Oh, and his arm just kind of. What the hell is this

[B]

arm?

[A]

It's a baby arm. What the hell is wrong with you? That he was bringing to us. Did you believe that to be a thing?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Oh, my God. Future is dim for you.

[C]

Look at the way the Give me a hammer.

[A]

Oh, by the way, Kirby, you can get away with anything. Your dad is a moron.

[C]

The column inside.

[B]

Only Samson can pull things like that.

[A]

That's some of the worst special effects I've ever seen. Like Clash of the Titans was better. Let's do the hammer challenge right now.

[C]

The columns fall into him

[A]

and who. Unbelievable.

[B]

Look at that. Look at the manicon scene right there. And there's the kid in the arm.

[C]

Jesus. Well, that account really appreciates you.

[A]

You sent that to him. Going. Good one. You thought that was a thing.

[B]

I knew exactly what would happen.

[A]

No, you didn't.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

No, you didn't.

[B]

Look.

[A]

No, dumbass. And everybody knows you're not. You're not manipulating the room.

[B]

Toast boy over here.

[A]

You're not the

[B]

sh. Toast day. Okay, Jeez.

[A]

I guess we've all been puppet mastered. Okay.

[C]

What a genius.

[A]

Roll back to that.

[B]

We had a street fight.

[A]

No, we did it. I'm gonna look at this. It's a girl in thigh high boots

[C]

and I D. Marie Di.

[A]

Boy, oh boy. What's that guy hiding?

[C]

Jean boots.

[A]

She cut her jeans off at the thighs and just left them as. As boots.

[C]

She's got that V hip thing going on.

[A]

Muscle. Muscle. Travis Scott and the goosebumps.

[B]

Those are nice muscles.

[A]

Is that real? Is she an AI or is she real?

[C]

I think she's real.

[A]

That is. Here's Brady's.

[C]

This one's not A.I.

[A]

all right. This is. Oh, we got a street fight. People in helmets and stuff. And they're swinging bats.

[C]

No, they're swinging sharp inst.

[A]

Oh, those are machetes. Toledo immediately bought tickets to visit this place. I can tell by the architecture. Oh, and a motorcycle just came blowing through. The Street Fighter. Mark Pies delivery guy just got knocked off his scooter. You don't need Mark Pie delivery there. Everybody's eating that already. It's like Ronald McDonald Mark pie on every street. Mark Pie. Everybody's making Mark Pie at home. You don't order out for Mark Pie there. It just happens. Look at this weird little fight in a Toledo. A Toledo destination.

[C]

100% you're.

[A]

They have those weird accurate arches over their streets.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

For no reason at all.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

In Cambodia. That might be Cambodia.

[A]

They have that.

[C]

Especially there.

[A]

Like these wildly ornate. Strange.

[C]

Yeah, little arches.

[B]

That's first. Mark PI's China Gate.

[A]

That was at the first one. That's Columbus.

[B]

That's the actual gate.

[A]

Home of Brady.

[B]

I live here now.

[A]

Mark Pies China Gate. All right, all right. I'm real light Today. So go.

[B]

No, AI man.

[A]

No. I don't think. Yeah, exactly. I wish it was AI. All right, here's a little. A little ramp action.

[B]

We've done this.

[A]

Have we? It's a lady. What is this? Oh, she's a dude train. It's a. On a mini bike or something. Yeah, I think like supposed to be an kids bike. It's like an indoor ski jump. And the guy loses control.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he falls off of the ski jump onto concrete. That's not good. Yikes. This is bad. Streets of San Francisco. We're in San Francisco. There's a homeless guy behind some sort of sign. Oh, man. He's got a huge. Talk about needing some fiber. He has got a two foot poop hanging out of his bottom on the streets of San Francisco. Michael Douglas and Carl Malden about to walk right by that. And it's still going. It's a Quinn Martin production. This dude has a large cone under that.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

It's a Goodson Todman.

[A]

Yeah. No, no, not a good. That's game shows. Quinn Martin did Streets of San Francisco. Follow the bouncing ball. That is a four foot poop coming out of him and it won't stop. Oh, cut it off.

[B]

Good snap.

[A]

There you go. That's all you got today. I told you. I was like. All right, Josh Blue is going to come in here in a little bit. We should start his walk now and get him from the kitchen to hear

[C]

him doing the process.

[A]

Okay. The. The word is justice for the 8 o' clock hour and send you a challenge. What's that?

[B]

Thriller.

[A]

Thriller versus Josh.

[B]

Yeah, I go with Josh.

[A]

I wouldn't have hiked with Josh. Took us six hours to get up. Camelback. Really?

[C]

You think worse than Thriller?

[A]

Josh is in better shape. He's a little more outdoorsy than Thriller.

[C]

He's a little more prepared.

[B]

Yeah, maybe in the long run.

[A]

Yeah, it's almost like a sprint versus a marathon. I think Sprint. Maybe right off the bat Josh might take him down. I don't think Thriller can run anyway. Josh will be hitting her just a little bit. Where's he? Desert Ridge.

[C]

Tempe Improv.

[A]

Oh, he's a Tempe. Okay. Josh will be at the Tempe Improv. We'll talk to Josh Blue. Coming up next. It's 98 Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station. It's John Holmberg here. Time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and doughns.com. i got an email from someone who told me that he wants to sell his house because he has to move for work, got a new job, and it starts in February, so he needs to vacate quickly. And in this particular case, this guy can leave Arizona with cash from his home and be free and clear to start anew in his next location. That is peace of mind, no matter what the situation. Doug makes selling your house so easy, it's hard to imagine going anywhere else, and he backs it up with a $5,000 guarantee. Start the process at Doug hopkins.com and grab that phone and sing Hopkins. 1-800-sale It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness to tell you about the Core Institute. People who met me found out that I've had four major operations in the last four years. They're blown away. I've had both shoulders replaced and both hips replaced because I was an absolute disaster before my surgeries. I was in pain. Now no one knows I've had any issues. People who hear multiple surgeries assume they'll never be the same again. That's just not true. I'm better than I've been in 20 years. Stop quitting the things you love and get back to being the pain free you you love. The Core institute dot com.