02-26-26 - CONDENSED SHORT SHOW - THURSDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 02-26-26 – Condensed Short Show (Thursday)

Overview

This episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness is a fast-paced, punchy blend of listener feedback, pop-culture commentary, social criticism, and irreverent comedy. Host John Holmberg, with regulars Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo, field angry emails (and fire right back), analyze current TV trends and parenting challenges, discuss the Olympics, riff on emotional support animals, cover viral internet “challenges,” and welcome drag racing’s promising newcomer Maddie Gordon and champion Ron Capps. The show’s trademark is no-holds-barred banter, self-deprecating humor, and unapologetic takes on controversial topics.

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Key Segments & Insights

1. Listener Feedback & Host Retorts

Timestamps: 01:10 - 09:34

• Restless Leg Syndrome & Listener Drama

  • A listener named Rachel previously called, upset at John for calling 'restless leg syndrome' fake. The hosts revisit that rant, clarify it's a long-running show bit, and double down on dismissing its legitimacy.
  • John reads an email from a coworker of Rachel, riffing mercilessly on her personality and weight, showing the show's signature take-no-prisoners style.
  • Memorable quote:
    • “Rachel’s still fat and gross and there’s no question I’m gonna— I’m not laying off that.” – John (02:15)
  • Other listener, Catherine, complains about fat jokes, prompting more jokes at her expense and a riff about podcast listeners expecting music content.
  • Notable dynamic: The show leans into complaints—“People just do the show for us. That’s great!” (04:35)

• Origins of "Karens" and "Lindas"

  • The crew credits themselves for inventing “Linda” as the original "Karen" (complain-y listener type).
  • Quote:
    • “We invented the Linda, which is the impetus and origin of the band Sodomizing Linda.” – John (06:16)

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2. TV, Olympics, and the "Heated Rivalry" Fad

Timestamps: 10:34 - 18:43

• Olympics Recap & Viewing Numbers

  • Record viewership—averaging 21 million per night—sparks a discussion about the dying state of network TV outside live events.
  • John jokes about the “freebie condoms” at the Olympic Village:
    • “The big number that came back from the Winter Olympics was they tried this year to not have freebie condoms. You had to actually go get one out of a box or something.” (11:50)

• Rise of "Heated Rivalry" & Gay Hockey Craze

  • The podcast crew explores the wild success of the series “Heated Rivalry,” its appeal among women, and how women pushing for men-kissing-men has become a reversal of the “girls kissing” male fantasy of the past.
  • Quote:
    • “Ladies are losing their corks over this thing… Chicks are watching hockey, thinking at the end they have some sort of man gang bang.” – John (14:39 & 17:25)

• Men Not Getting It

  • John admits he watched "Brokeback Mountain", appreciated its filmmaking, but found he couldn't relate.
  • “Please don’t go up to men and ask if we’ve watched Heated Rivalry because none of us have.” – John (15:45)

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3. Emotional Support Animals & Societal Norms

Timestamps: 21:06 – 28:11

• Emotional Support Chicken Story
  • Discussion about a professor who brought an emotional support chicken on a plane, which delayed a flight—the crew is exasperated at the extent people go for "emotional support."
  • John: “We gotta get back to the straightjackets.” (22:09)
• Therapy Animals in Elderly Care
  • Chicken therapy for seniors is acknowledged as reasonable if it keeps people active, but having an "emotional" connection is lampooned.
  • Quote:
    • “If your brain doesn’t get tested, it’s going to start shutting down… The chicken does not get you. He understands me like no other human. Oh, grandma’s gone. Time to hospice.” – John (27:32)

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4. Viral Trends & Modern Parenting

Timestamps: 29:50 – 38:41

• "Bone Smashing" TikTok Challenge
  • New viral trend: Teens filmed hitting themselves in the face with hammers. The show laments youth stupidity and parental obliviousness.
  • “Will one of you parents out there please pay attention to your children for 20 minutes… This is a cry for help.” – John (30:39)
• Tech, Secrets, and Dateline Parenting
  • John and the crew hammer home the idea that parents rarely know what their kids are doing online, mocking “Not my kid” defense.
  • “Every parent of a drug addict, every parent of a murderer… never say, ‘I know my kid won’t.’” – John (31:34)
  • Dick Toledo shares an anecdote about finding gay black porn on his kid’s device, repeating the lesson: Assume anything is possible.

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5. Life Choices: The $10 Million Question

Timestamps: 40:02 – 41:44

• Poll: Would You Trade 10 Years of Life for $10 Million?
  • Over 60% say yes. John and crew discuss the calculation based on their own ages; none wants to live into old age if it means getting the millions younger.
  • “I told my—when I met my actual aunt, I asked her, what’s the deal with the health of the men in this family?...I do not want to live well into my 90s.” – John (41:01)

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6. Wild America: Buzzball Hawk and Zoo Talk

Timestamps: 42:54 – 45:41

• Felon Feeds Booze to Hawk
  • Story of a man in Watts punished for feeding a Cooper’s hawk alcohol on video. The crew cracks up over wild urban wildlife anecdotes.
  • “Hawk loves him some buzzball.” – Brady (43:57)
  • “Let’s pour one out for your hawk homies.” – John (44:12)

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7. Interview: Maddie Gordon & Ron Capps – Drag Racing's Next Generation

Timestamps: 56:02 – 65:48

• Maddie Gordon’s Racing Background
  • Maddie, 21, joins with Top Fuel champ Ron Capps. From a racing family, she just made her first-ever passes at over 325 mph, recently got licensed, and is debuting this year in Top Fuel.
  • “I went to my first race at eight days old… Rolled over at Chicago… basically grew up at the racetrack.” – Maddie (57:14)
• Family Legacy and Skillset
  • Sister also involved; both started a metal manufacturing company as teenagers. Maddie is hands-on in the pits, building clutches and welding.
  • “She welds better than most guys on the team.” – Capps (65:41)
• Humor and Mentoring
  • Playful teasing about her accent, family ties, and racing progression. Ron Capps recounts knowing her family for decades, describing the unusual opportunity to jump straight into high-level drag racing.

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8. Comedy Segment: Josh Blue & "Palsy on Ice"

Timestamps: 47:45 – 54:10

• The crew and comedian Josh Blue riff darkly on a tongue-in-cheek “Palsy on Ice” competition, disability parenting, and sibling relationships, all with self-aware, boundary-pushing humor typical of Blue and Holmberg.
  • “Last one standing gets the helmet!” – Josh Blue (48:16)
  • “I would…not only would I buy tickets to that, I want to be an investor in it.” – John (48:31)

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Notable Quotes

• “Rachel’s still fat and gross and there’s no question I’m gonna—I’m not laying off that.”
  — John, 02:15

• “Ladies are losing their corks over this thing…Chicks are watching hockey, thinking at the end they have some sort of man gang bang.”
  — John, 14:39 / 17:25

• “If your brain doesn’t get tested, it’s going to start shutting down…The chicken does not get you. He understands me like no other human. Oh, grandma’s gone. Time to hospice.”
  — John, 27:32

• “Will one of you parents out there please pay attention to your children for 20 minutes…This is a cry for help.”
  — John, 30:39

• “I would…not only would I buy tickets to that, I want to be an investor in it.”
  — John (re: Palsy on Ice), 48:31

• “I went to my first race at eight days old…Rolled over at Chicago…basically grew up at the racetrack.”
  — Maddie Gordon, 57:14

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Conclusion

This episode encapsulates the unapologetic, all-over-the-map wit and camaraderie that has made Holmberg’s Morning Sickness an Arizona radio staple. The hosts’ gleeful back-and-forth with angry listeners, their takes on current events, and the memorable appearance by drag racing’s Maddie Gordon deliver both irreverent comedy and compelling human stories. It’s equal parts roasting, cultural observation, and live-wire entertainment—unfiltered and unmistakably HMS.

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Timestamps for Landmark Segments

• Listener Feedback and Rachel Saga: 01:10 – 09:34
• Olympics & TV Trends: 10:34 – 18:43
• Emotional Support Animals: 21:06 – 28:11
• Bone Smashing Challenge: 29:50 – 38:41
• $10 Million Life Poll: 40:02 – 41:44
• Wild America Segment: 42:54 – 45:41
• Josh Blue / Comedy Bit: 47:45 – 54:10
• Maddie Gordon & Ron Capps Interview: 56:02 – 65:48

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For newcomers, this episode is a masterclass in how HMS balances brash humor, listener sparring, and off-the-wall interviews for a uniquely entertaining ride.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

[A]

What the hell is wrong with you? And then. Then, you know, you. Some of y' all just do the show for us. Rachel, yesterday, if you were listening, a lady named Rachel called up. And by the way. And Richard, I started wondering because I kind of glossed over it. She was complaining about me saying something about restless leg syndrome being fake. Did you. I didn't even ask what. What ran because it had to be on the best of. Did we do something where I mentioned restless leg syndrome?

[C]

Yeah, you went on a rant.

[A]

You played that

[C]

15 years ago.

[A]

Oh, yeah. No, I've been. It's been fake the whole time. So at any given time, when we

[D]

first heard it, probably.

[A]

Oh, yeah, it's.

[D]

It.

[A]

Look, it's never been a real thing.

[C]

Right. And that's been your stance the whole time.

[A]

Yeah, it's always been something where you're just a little. You're restless. That's not a disease.

[D]

It's just.

[A]

You're not.

[C]

Your mind is going, sure. And you're.

[A]

You know, we've all had other parts of your body. We're twitchy. So you did run some. Because I started thinking yesterday. I'm like, that's.

[C]

I've played that a couple times.

[A]

Maybe this broad heard it somewhere else and then blame me. But okay, so fair enough. All right, back to that. Rachel's still fat and gross and there's no question I'm gonna. I'm not laying off that. I just want to. Oh, you got a good complainer. I got it. I got it. I'm holding it right now. So I got. I got two of them. I got this one that says I happen to know the Rachel you were talking about. We worked together and she left work today because she was distraught success. Remember I said I hope she like walked into traffic and stuff, but damage to the car would be astronomical in Orlando. I said. She said she's considered considering suing you in the station. Good. I listened to it

[C]

every Rachel in town.

[A]

Yeah, Good. Let me get my checkbook. Rachel. You'll see zero. It says I listened to it and you wisely never even said her last name. Which is brilliant. It could be anybody. Any fat Rachel with restless legs is a target. She actually is not that awful to look at. But you were right. Her personality is garbage. She's alone for one reason. A deaf and blind man would grow sick of her crap in about one week. All she does is complain.

[D]

There's day number two. She's going home.

[A]

So she was on. She said she was on you about yesterday or she was on one about you yesterday to a co worker. Deep down, I think she liked the attention. Signed Roger, which is not my name, but I'm a co worker of fat Rachel and her sloppy legs and I don't want to get fired. So we get that one right.

[C]

If her type 5 starts with restless leg syndrome and doesn't get better, nobody

[A]

wants to hear your problem. Tight. I don't think she's got tight anymore. Even her stories are sloppy and fat. Even. Even her stories are like a prime rib you'd send back the middle of this might be good, but I gotta get around so much fat. Rachel's fat and disgusting. Hideous. I've never seen her.

[C]

But can she spin you into a tight five?

[A]

I get a tight five on Rachel. Sure.

[C]

Well, I know you can, but if is in her story, can she spin it? Her attention?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

No, I'm not gonna listen to the first minute. I got no time for that. She makes me sick. And besides that, I gotta, you know, box for a long time. So I got good head movement, but I can't dodge all those ho ho squishins that are flying out of her mouth during a story.

[D]

I'll chew the fat with her.

[A]

Of course she will. I got another one. And people just do the. Do the show for us. That's great. It says it's 4:34 and your DJs are disgusting and not funny. I failed to see how making fun of people's weight and joking about them having sex with overweight women is good in the most degrading way a person can talk about it. How is that funny? What does that have to do with music? It doesn't. Thank you, Catherine. It is funny. I thought it was hilarious. Hilarious. It was really funny.

[C]

You're listening at 4:34, Katherine. You chose to download the podcast and listen to it in your car or wherever.

[A]

So you found us funny before. And by the way, the podcast doesn't play music.

[C]

Right?

[A]

So another one. You. You big fat.

[D]

It don't make sense.

[A]

I ain't got time for this no more. I have to go yourself. Why don't you and Rachel talk about this right before Farmer Johnson brings out the slop you two can hog together? I don't see how that's funny. You just announced yourself as uncomfortable with your own money. I was making fun of Rachel individually and not having sex with her. How you got involved is your own business. I wasn't saying, oh, there's a lot of big ladies with great attitudes who are fun. One of them emailed us yesterday, said, I'm a big un and I got a fat ass. And she was proud of herself. She's got confidence. Rachel was mad at me for something I said years ago, and we reran and then decided that she was going to attack me, so I attacked back. You know what? They hate someone who fights back because radio people are pussies all the time. They get a complaint letter and then the next thing you know they're being extorted by somebody and we're writing checks and handing money to say nothing happened. It happens. Oh, we got a complaint letter. The bad ones in radio bow down to that moment. I'm not doing that. You want to come after me? I'll come back. Rachel. Catherine. Yeah, and you're listening Karen. Yeah, they're all Karens. We had our Linda's way before Karen's. We invented the Linda which is the impetus and the origin of the band sodomizing Linda. We called them Lindas way before everybody started calling them Karens. Because we had Linda's emailing us the power of the podcast. But why is she. What is her. Like, she's listening in the afternoon to a musicless podcast. And I guarantee. Oh, it's. Catherine is her friend Rachel told her to listen. Yeah, probably. There's only one reason for her to think, I'll get him. I need to hear this. And then she heard it was like, what does this have to do with music? Have you ever listened to the radio, you dumb. Since when has anybody just gone, well, there's Smashing Pumpkins. No, Billy Corgan shaved his head for the first. We're not all talking about. Everybody's got their own music. We'll get to that in a little bit. I did post on our Instagram yesterday. There she is, restless legs. What does that say? Gain 50 pounds. Oh, because. Yeah, because she gained 50 pounds from restless leg syndrome and lost relationships. It had nothing to do with her personality or size. And here's what she should be doing with her food. And that is the six o' clock word. It's purge. Go ahead and get on the. Purge is the 6:00 clock word that you put in our website and you put in our app and you go to the app and you go to the website and I'll give you a six o' clock time, you put a word in and then we got that. So purge is the 6am word. How's about that? Get on it. Yeah. Thank you, Catherine. That's nice. Did you say pie? Yeah, no, no, Purge. It's what UCLA cheerleaders do after they eat a Catherine sized meal. You say Kurds. Yeah, I don't. I don't suffer turds lightly anymore. I'm not dealing with it. I have a problem with what you said. Well, I have a problem with what you're saying. How dare you. I'm like, well, we're the same. We're the exact same. I'm bitching at you, you're bitching at me. Let's call it a draw and walk away. Because I'm going to have. I'm going to win. You're going to complain at Postinos and I'm going to complain over 100,000 watts of FM airwaves and then also a huge podcast that more people listen to. So I'm gonna win.

[D]

You're gonna get attacked by Rachel's.

[A]

Now I'm ready. I will outrun them. I got six. You know, each square of a sidewalk is what, about two and a half feet? I got 16 of those to cover before she bends over and touches her knees and starts going and takes an inhaler or something and tries to breathe again. Besides that, I think we're way too close to the zoo for Rachel to run wild in the streets because somebody's gonna go one got out, don't want to hear it, ain't got time for it. And I like that you you tried to protect Rachel, but we weren't talking about all fat ladies and how we don't want to have sex with them. We were talking about that one particular pig named Rachel and how nobody wants to have sex with her. And that was in her email, not ours. Morning sickness medicate KUPD well, it's now

[C]

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[A]

All right, HMS Podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Hit east side to check out Josh Blue performing at the Tempe Improv Downtown at Stand Up Live. It's the comedy of Phil Hanley for you this week. And up north of Desert Ridge, you got Zach rushing and Michael Loftus leading you into the weekend where you can see friend of the show Brian Callan on Friday And Saturday, for the complete lineups. And for Tickets, go to standuplive.com Desert Ridge, improv.com and tempeimprov.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. I want to talk about something. The. The numbers are in for the Olympics. And man, oh, man, was this Olympics a W success. It was huge, averaging 21 million viewers a night, which makes a. And that's humongous for network television, which doesn't do any business anymore at all. I want to talk about people who have ruined something free and easy television executives on a local level, let alone the national level. So networks have to rely on live programming from here on out, or they're hoping for news and controversy that makes you tune into that, the local news and stuff. But it's not going to happen too often. Huge numbers for them. So everybody over there at channel 12 just celebrating beyond belief that they got these numbers to pretend that they're going to continue to keep it. They're not. The big number that came back from the Winter Olympics was they tried this year to not have freebie condoms. You had to actually go get one out of, like, a box or something. And they put 10,000 to the Olympic Village. Yeah, the athletes.

[D]

Because they go through, like, 10,000.

[A]

10,000 was the number this year of confirmed protected takes.

[D]

And I'd heard that, you know, like, this first time, they ran out this early.

[A]

They ran out right off the bat. Like, it was immediate. So the sex was unreal at the Olympics. And they keep saying that young people don't interact or that's all they do.

[D]

They.

[A]

They slide into each other's dms and then they do it. There's like, we, as a generation of people are like, you had to date one for a while. You don't anymore. You just have to talk to them on, like, their Instagrams or whatever it is, and then. And then they meet you somewhere and you have sex with them. I think that's what's going on. And everybody's like, they don't date. They don't have social skills. They don't have our social skills. Their social skills are ridiculous. Like, kid that Brewer brought in yesterday, he's not, like, the most social person face to face, but the kid knows how to socialize in the modern digital world. So that's what they were saying. There's, like, 10,000 condoms were supplied, and they were gone fast. And, you know, what they're saying is the impetus of this heated rivalry, that show about gay hockey, which is, look, every guy you Talk, I had 3 women yesterday try to tell me how great this show is. And then it's just. It's. It's ridiculous. I'm not going to name names, but somewhere in this city, there's going to be a heated rivalry watch party and then a Saturday night live watch party because the dude from the gay guy from heated rivalry is hosting it and women are in love with him. So congratulations to all those people who I laughed at years ago. I was wrong. That said, oh, they're indoctrinating people into making women want their husbands to be gay. Like, they want all men to be gay. I'm like, that's crazy talk. And now you see that the biggest thing in the world right now currently for women and all they're talking about is heated rivalry and these two hot gay guys making out, which used to be gross. It used to only be lesbians making out. That got people going. Not anymore. These two dudes evidently have ladies for who? Gosh, I'm still old school. I'm still old school. It's not for men. I've mentioned several times, it's for women and not for men. We don't get it. In fact, you talk to most guys and like, what the hell is heated rivalry? And it's supposed to be about sports, but we sniff it out real fast. Like, this ain't about sports immediately, you know, I'm not watching. This is weird. I watched a couple episodes. I thought it was a little bit like, I'm not interested in two men falling in love. I cannot relate to that. I tried watching Brokeback Mountain. I thought it was a beautifully shot, a wonderful story. It just drug on a little bit. And when Jack Twist spit in his hand.

[D]

Sell that scene.

[A]

Look, you didn't. You didn't like it because it was gay and you don't want to watch it. I can get past that because I'm not gay. It doesn't threaten me. I don't care. I don't care if gay guys make out or do it. Fine. It's just not going to do anything. Ladies are losing their corks over this thing. And they say that the, the heated rivalry thing spawned a bunch of stuff. At the Olympics, there were three proposals by athletes. One I didn't even know. Like, there was an ice dancer who was rivals with another ice dancer. Like they were teams. And at the end, they proposed to each other. One was from Sweden, one's from, like, Switzerland. I don't know the countries. And then at the end, they're like, they were in. They Were in competition with each other. In the end, they proposed. There's another lesbian couple that proposed to each other at the Olympics. One guy proposed it. Like, they said it was all heated rivalry stuff, that they're rivals on the. On the court, but they are in love, you know, and it was like, whoa. And the heated rivalry thing is. Lou. But women, please don't go up to men and ask if we've watched heated rivalry because none of us have. And then don't, after we say no, start telling us how great it is because we're. Most of us are just going to dodge it. It's like Bridgerton. You tried to sell us on Bridgerton as something to watch. And dudes just watched it and went, oh, it's just old lady porn. It's like, what? Yeah, it's. It's non graphic old lady porn. You guys, like, you don't care about anything historic because there's no way this black guy would have gotten away with any of this back. Exactly. That one doesn't make sense. We as men are logical going, boy, if I was a black, I'd be mad because this is like having for no reason at all, like a black dude on the 27 Yankees and doing a movie. But I'm like, that's not. You can't do that. He wouldn't have been. It would have been nice to him. So we looked at that like, oh, you ladies are kind of rewriting history here a little bit. And it's gonna. Anyway, you just like old lady porn.

[D]

Yesterday was a double whammy. Bridgerton listed your horoscope and what character you'd be on. Bridgerton.

[A]

Oh, my God. Wow. I've never watched it. Yeesh. Yeah, it's because it's not for us. Right? But then ladies will start to say, it's like us trying to explain, I don't know, like WWE to an average woman.

[D]

Gold.

[A]

Then you know, hey, you didn't see Hornswoggle came out from under the women look at you like you're an idiot. That's how we look at you now with this heated rivalry. We don't care about gay hockey. We've got real hockey to watch and we don't want them kissing at the end. For the most part, there's probably a small group of people that are like, man, I wish, I wish Hughes and Hellebuck would have made out. I'm sure there's a couple guys that would have thought that was cool. I'm not one of them, but man, this thing's going Crazy. But they're saying that that's the reason why they're sexually charged at the Olympics, because for some reason, heated rivalry has something to do with that. Downstairs, I had two ladies, oh, are you watching?

[D]

They were trying to say that, you know, even before the Olympics, that they've noticed an uptick of hockey tickets.

[A]

Yeah. Chicks are watching hockey, thinking that at the end they have some sort of man gang bang. And they don't. Thank God, because that would not be good. But. But again, 15 years ago, when the argument was, oh, they're pushing gay on us. They're trying to make us all gay. Alex Jones, they're gonna try to make you gay. And I'm like, that's crazy. Now, in order to get a girl, part of the fun is gonna be like, she's really turned on when dudes kiss.

[D]

So now it's. It's switching around.

[A]

Think about it.

[D]

The girls are on. Hey, you guys make out?

[A]

Turnabout's fair play. We've been trying this with women for 50 years and finally got them to start doing it in the late 90s. And then it became normal. Now it's kind of boring. They're spinning it on us, and there's dudes that are going to do it. Now we've got to look up the interview that Sean Strickland did about heated rivalry. Oh, I saw that. Sean Strickland is not someone you want to follow. He's all like, it sounds like Brett was in his earpiece. Sean Strickland is. I haven't seen it yet. He's. You think. You know, the fat ladies think I say some stuff. Sean Strickland makes me go, okay, dude, that's. That's a lot. I admire his bravery because it is cancelable in every direction every time he opens his mouth. But, you know, he's not wrong in this particular case. Just weird.

[E]

So.

[A]

Yeah, but he did rivalry. If it's sexy to you, that's great, but don't try to explain it to your husband. And certainly don't make it one of those things where we have to watch that with you. You can watch stuff along. It is just not for us. It is weird fantasy of. And that's it. Chicks liking gay guys kissing. That. I didn't think that was gonna happen. So much hair, so much poop. But you watch two chiseled, like, foreigners making out, and evidently that's what it took. But it took 15 or 16 years for them to finally go, I think they're ready. And they put this out. And the Ladies are just squirting all over the place watching this show. It's Jon Holmberg here from the morning sickness and it's time to talk about turf monsters. Az.com I have turf in my backyard and the only regret I've got is that I did not do this sooner. I have turned my backyard into a playground. I got a putting green, I got a pitching green, I got a sport court and I got loads of turf. I never have to worry about dying or looking bad or watering. You can do it too. If you can dream up a beautiful backyard, the gang over there at turf monsters can make it a reality. All you have to do is check them out. Turf monsters AZ.com hey, it's John Holberg here, chilling away for new AC unit dot com. I've been telling you about the amazing new AC unit dot com for about three years. New AC unit dot com put the power back in your hands. Three easy steps online gets you your unit ordered, inspected and installed by the best in the business. And I'm super excited to tell you that new acunit.com now offers many splits. If you work in a garage, a casita, or even have like a man cave somewhere back in that garage, mini splits can be a must. New acunit.com has it now and you can install it. They'll even include the electrical. Save thousands, save time. Buy online newac unit.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. And here's another thing I don't have time for anymore. I'm not gonna be nice about it. You're and I love animals. But enough with the emotional support things. There's a dude, there's a professor who now has he wanted to travel on a plane with an emotional support chicken. Nope, nope, nope and nope. You're not allowed to walk. You're walking. You can't get on a plane with normal people with a chicken and try to make us all hat. He delayed a flight. Oh, yeah, they stopped him. He was carrying a chicken around. Anybody walking around with a chicken at the airport, unless it's in Mumbai or Bangladesh, you're not allowed on my plane.

[C]

It's not.

[A]

I mean even look, even spirit would be like no chickens. We draw the line right here. Line. They don't even let you have like your own food on the plane. You can't bring a chicken and call it. And it says and this is what he said. As a Canadian psychology professor. He studies how relationships with pets support healthy development and has own usual therapy, which is true, like equine therapy. For kids with hippotherapy, the tiz and things like that. There's hippotherapy.

[D]

Well, that's what they. Horse is called. The. They call that.

[A]

Yeah, Rachel's going through. I thought it was equine, like the equine therapy. Is it hippotherapy? They call it hippotherapy with horses.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, I didn't know that. So anyway, yeah, there's. That. There's all sorts of different animals that will support you, but chickens aren't it. And then so the, the guy said it assists me in my daily life. I feel like she's so smart, she can understand my emotions. And it's an 11 month old bird named Saturday and they, they adopted it from a.

[D]

It's from that Clint Eastwood movie.

[A]

Look, the rooster. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. When I. So when I was sad, she would just lay there and look at me because that's what a chicken does. That's all they do. Trying to figure out what was going on. No, that was you applying that to her brain. In her brain. She just. That's it. That's all she's thinking. And I knew that she was thinking, why are you crying? And it meant the world to me. It's. It's. We got to get back to the straitjackets. Nope, we've got to get back to the straitjackets. She even crafted. This lady crafted a special diaper for the feather baby so it can travel with her wherever she goes. She's lost her mind and she has no friends. And that's what we need. We need people to set you straight again. If you're walking around with an emotional support chicken and nobody's saying anything, the thing you need most of all is to realize you don't have one good friend in your life. It's like my friend Anthony. I was at the Suns game with him a while ago. And he goes, you know, you don't have any friends in your life. What are you talking about? Because you don't have one good friend except me. And I'm like, what's he doing? And he goes, you got something hanging out of your nose. I'm like, oh, my God. Like, I've been sitting here talking to people. He goes, not one of them said a thing.

[D]

There's a sickle coming out of.

[A]

Oh. And then I'm just turning to people. We're at the Rah Rah room, of all places. And I turn, I'm like, kenzie, was there something in my nose I didn't see It. I'm like, thank God. Word for seven o', clock, by the way, is Kirk. Thank you, Brad. Hey, Kirk. Kirk as in Hammond. Kirk at the 7:00'. Clock. Word. So, you know, like, Liv, some of my. Ryan was there something in my. And I was freaking out. And luckily. And even Anthony turned to me afterwards and he goes, they're not gonna tell you. They all saw it. And I'm like, God damn it. And I realized that Anthony had just jumped up about seven rungs on the friend ladder. Because my friend Mark, best friend since fifth grade, he was there. He didn't say anything. My friend Dr. Brink was there. He didn't say anything. Anthony was the only one. If you've got an emotional support chicken, you need an Anthony in your life to go, hey, you've gone bad, crazy, and nobody wants to deal with you except this chicken. If you're down to a chicken as your only friend on the planet, do a little self evaluation. Recognize that it's over unless you make some serious changes. Don't dive in and hug the chicken harder. Start to kind of distance yourself from the chicken. So remember when Brady was a kid and took that black lady to show and tell Olive? You know, nowadays they could call that your emotional support Negro. You know, he's not wrong, though. It's a joke for Brett and it's working. You nailed your audience there, Guillermo. Nice job. But he's not wrong. If you start attaching silliness to silliness, people are like, well, I gotta take that seriously. Let me be the first say I'm no longer taking that seriously. Especially if you have that. Now Brady does have rod.

[D]

She flies free.

[A]

Well, I mean, then she's getting something out of this.

[D]

Emotional support animals. They charge them.

[A]

Yeah. Hippotherapy and equine assisted therapy. Right. It includes that physical and occupation of the horse's gate. Yeah. I have a friend who's got a kid with the tiz. A little tiz. And he's doing things the equine therapy. And it's. It's doing them wonders.

[D]

Send that guy with a chicken over to Dubai and get on a plane there. Because they have falcons. They only allow so many falcons on a plane.

[A]

Falcons are cool, though. And I don't think anybody's like, this is my emotional support chicken does. Now, John, I think Rachel brought her emotional support chicken on the flight, too. It was original recipe. When I saw that one coming on 52nd Street. Took a long time. Forever wrote that. You were right, though. It's a good one. Still. But yeah, I don't think the emotional bird of prey is something they're really leaning on. Too heavy in Dubai. Just like the guy's a falcon profession. This is job. And he's not putting it underneath. It'll freak the falcon out. He's got it. It's under control. But a chicken, no. There is chicken therapy, however. Poultry therapy. It's when seniors and care facilities. You know what it is? Yeah. That is poultry therapy for a guy like Brady and it's not working, it's killing. But chicken therapy, listen to what they call chicken therapy. And this is where we've just got. We've got to normalize as a society and all of us start saying enough. Chicken therapy is used when seniors in care facilities do a thing. Poultry therapy, hen power. They're utilizing therapy chickens or emotional support. Chickens aim to improve mental health, reduce loneliness and combat dementia in seniors. What they do though is put them to work caring for the chick. They give them a job to make sure that it's not the chicken. Understanding your anxiety, it's you getting up and doing stuff. Because if you don't use it, you're gonna lose it. If you're. If your brain keep them on the farm. Yeah. If your brain doesn't get tested, it's gonna start shutting down. It's atrophy. It happens in your muscles and your organs and everything else. It says it helps with anxiety, depression and loneliness. It gives them a purpose. So they take old people to chickens and make them do stuff. But none of those old people, the second an old person says that chicken understands me, then they got to go into a different hallway and start getting treatment in another way because they're losing it. It's nursing home schools, individuals, autism, stuff. Like they give them a purpose. It isn't emotional support. Stop it. The chicken does not get you. He understands me like no other human can. Oh, grandma's gone. Time to hospice. That you just get comfortable and lay down, hun. Why? Because you think a chicken can read your mind. And that is the end. It's over. You're not coming back from this. You never hear a 90 year old going, for a little while there I thought a chicken could understand me. Like they never come out of it.

[D]

If that could like detect seizures or something like that, you know, like a

[A]

dog seizure detecting chicken.

[D]

You prove it.

[A]

You both start flipping it, jumping out and like I don't want to be near that. Can we get a little calmer animal to start predicting seizures? Starts crowing. Oh, she's Gonna have a seizure. I'm gonna kill that chicken. It's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness to tell you about the Core Institute. People who met me found out that I've had four major operations in the last four years. They're blown away. I've had both shoulders replaced and both hips replaced because I was an absolute disaster before my surgeries. I pain now. No one knows I've had any issues. People who hear multiple surgeries assume they'll never be the same again. It's just not true. I'm better than I've been in 20 years. Stop quitting the things you love and get back to being the pain free you you love.

[C]

The Core Institute.com college basketball fans FanDuel just handed you a tool that makes every college hoops parlay worth more. It's called the Boost Builder. You get a boost builder to use on any two plus leg college basketball parlay. Start building your parlay and each leg you add increases your boost all the way up to 105. Just open the FanDuel app, choose your college hoops market, apply your boost token and watch the percentage climb. Head to fanduel.com kupd to get started. 21/in President Arizona Opt in required minimum 2 leg parlay required bonus issued is now withdrawable. Boost builder tokens restrictions apply including any token expiration and max wager amounts. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 533-42.

[A]

I want to say congratulations to Brett again. High five. No kids. And to all you people with kids, I'm sorry they've gotten dumber than I thought they could possibly get. The Tide Pod challenge. They're doing all sorts of silly stuff. There's a new thing you have to worry about for your dumbass kids, Brady. Starting with Kirby and her dumb friends, the goons of Gilbert. There's a new trend going around called bone smashing where kids are challenging each other to hit themselves in the face with a hammer. Go get them. Go get them, dumbass. Encourage this if you're gonna be that dumb.

[B]

I am.

[A]

Finally, for Kirby's not.

[D]

She used a rubber mal.

[A]

Well, that's where they start. That's the gateway. The gateway drug to the bone smashing is the rubber mallet. It's the marijuana to the cocaine.

[E]

You can't even get bruises from this anymore, man. I tell you what, I'm gonna smash

[D]

away her squeaks

[A]

if you're clear of this thing on social media. You might not have heard of this, but a 20 year old content creator named Clavicular has started this thing. They will literally take a hammer and hit themselves in the face. And try not to SM bone, but if they do, it's kind of a win. It's an attention. Will one of you parents out there please pay attention to your children for 20 minutes. Stop letting the little plastic man with the flag watch them when they're outside and talk to them here. And again, so they stop this. This is a cry for help. Go on their Instagram again. It's time to toss the cell. That's another moment where you guys have today. Brady won't do it. I don't think he ever has.

[D]

Grab tech, Stanley, the brand and the hammer.

[A]

That's exactly right. You go through Kirby's. I know you won't because it'll upset her and you don't like to do that.

[D]

But not my precious.

[A]

Time to toss the phone. Go through it, see what she's up to.

[D]

I have no doubt in my mind. I'm not talking, okay?

[A]

You don't know that. That's what every dumb parent says. That is what every parent. My childhood. Well, no, it's on your kid's face and that's it. Never ever say, I know my kid won't. Every parent of a drug addict, every parent of a murderer. I watch a lot of Dateline. They interview the parents like we had no idea. Like, not our child. Every parent thinks their kid won't do the bone smashing thing. Do you think the guy who does it, his parents were like, oh, we knew the whole time he was gonna smash himself in the face with a hammer. And of course, pretty much, nope, they didn't. They did it. Nobody ever thinks that. Matthew said. John, thank God. Finally some thinning of the herd.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes, I'm fine with that part. But they're not dying. They're hurting themselves. They're creating. Swing harder. If we're gonna do anything with bone smashing, it's swing harder kids. Us non kid havers encouraging the hell out of Sledgehammer bone crush. I don't care. Don't go, baby. Hammers don't go. You know, hanging pictures, hammers, at least

[D]

do it for a cause.

[A]

Yeah, try to stop Alzheimer's by smashing yourself in the brain. It's brilliant. But Brady, you make the crucial error as a parent of saying, well, I know for a fact my kid would never. And then the next thing you know, you're in a jail cell in an interrogation room going, what did you guys do again?

[E]

Well, man, I mean, we were out

[A]

and just goofed around when the goons

[E]

said, let's hit him. So I was there.

[A]

I just watched a special on Hulu about two teen kids who just picked people at random at school and they murdered one of the girls named Cassie. And then in the interrogation room, it was unbelievable how good they were at lying about it while their parents were like, he's telling the truth. There's no question he's telling, my son would never do something. You see how emotional he is? And even after these idiots videotaped themselves doing it, the parents, the one mom still sided with the kids, was still like, it's the other kid that caused it. Like, she still wouldn't say, my kid. Yeah, my kid was there murdering that lady. Of course we have it on videotape, but we pretty sure it's because the other kid talked him into it. Like, well, he was still doing it. Yeah, but not my angel. It was the influence of this one. It's. Parents always say, not my kid. That's why you gotta toss their phone today. Just grab it. Give me your phone. Phone?

[E]

What are you talking about, man?

[A]

Give me your phone. I'm going through all of it and I guarantee their little hands are going to be reaching at you like they're on the other side of a wall. And you know what's bad is your Kirby listens. So right now she's doing some D.

[D]

She said there's a co clavicular memorial at asu.

[A]

Did he kill himself?

[D]

I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, good. Well, she knows about him, Brady. So there's your first clue that your little angel isn't oblivious to this. Not my little girl. She would never. Yeah, she's in on it, buddy. You're basically to her, sort of just a gigantic retard. Things she knows you don't know anything about. I am too. They know. Like Brewer said yesterday, that 19 year old kid he's got with him film everything. We lean on him for everything. Like he and I even asked him, do you think everybody's stupid? He goes, not stupid, just a little slow. They think of us as retarded because to them we did with Disney programs, of course, but more so now than ever. Like our parents couldn't work the vcr. Thought they were kind of stupid technologies. Flashing. Yeah, it's the 12 o' clock now. It's different now. It is truly different. Like there's stuff that they just say, I don't know what low key means, but it's happening a lot. Christopher DeWitt wants to add another rule to that. Okay. And he says they get extra points if they use a ball peen. Tanner temple. Get it? Yeah. The temple is the key.

[D]

Nice little dent.

[A]

The key win. Anyway, toss your kids phones today because they are absolutely stupid. And you have to stop saying not my kid the second you say that. Check yourself. My kid wouldn't do check yourself. I watch a lot of Dateline NBC. A lot. Almost all of it. When there's a kid involved, isn't a parent who just doesn't think their kid would do it. They've never once interviewed a parent and had the parents go, man, did we ever see this coming? None of them ask any parent of a drug addict. I had no idea. You know, you gotta catch them. And then. Because they're good at lying. That's what they're built for. So I get nervous when I hear Brady say that. Not Kirby. And Kirby's gonna text back, don't worry, man. We're good. See? She even says we're fine.

[D]

Evidently, it was an ASU student that embarrassed the kid for doing it.

[A]

For doing the hammer thing. Yeah, because. And he should be shamed and embarrassed. Yeah. It's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life. Are you following what's going on here between the lines? Kirby's following the. The hammer face.

[D]

I don't think it's a trend.

[A]

All right.

[D]

Just one guy does it. It's a trend.

[A]

Okay. Either way, Brady. Yeah, we're talking about it. They've known about it a lot longer than us. So it's time for you to toss her phone. And you won't do it. I know you won't. I want to see it. I don't want to see anything bad. So you're just gonna. But you. It's time for a normal parent to stop saying not my kid and toss their phone. Go through the whole. Just today. See what she does. Give me your phone. I'm gonna. I'm gonna go in the bathroom for an hour with your phone, and every once in a while, I might scream out of the bathroom between farts. What's the password for this one? And if you don't tell me, I'm deleting the app, and I'm gonna take your phone away. But then precious Kirby won't have a phone, and we can't get raising cane's 10 discounts. And with two of those, that's 20%.

[D]

She said she's never heard of the hammer thing until you said she been telling you.

[A]

Everybody. Right. You hit herself in the face of a hammer. You're an idiot. Now, not only does Kirby think you're retarded, I do too. Just grab her phone and take it. See what she does. What do you think she would do if you took her phone today and said, this is mine for the next hour and you don't have anything to. You're not saying a thing.

[D]

She'd probably squirm a little bit.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Feel withdrawal.

[A]

Yeah. As you went through the text and read her text. She's already done a factory reset on it. Oh, she's. She is actually resetting, right? It's already done. Good, man. If you ask your kid, let me see your phone. And they're like, sure, they've. They've reset it. They were on to you. They knew the raid was coming. Yeah, they knew the raid. There's no apps on there anymore. I give this idiot credit. Toledo's never once said, not my kid. He's like, oh, Jesus. My kid would.

[D]

Came across some stuff.

[A]

Oh, yeah. He had black porn. Gay black porn with a thread. And that was when you realized, I can't ever say not my kid.

[C]

Kirby would hand over. If you say to her, I want to go through your text, she'd be like, go ahead. They don't use text.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And when you go into their Snapchat, you have no idea what you're looking.

[D]

So I guess you'd hand me your phone.

[C]

It'd be, no, it's in code in Snapchat. You go in Snapchat and you're like. You try and ask them, what is this? And they just look at you.

[A]

Yeah. I'm telling you, you're an idiot. You're retarded. You don't know the language. Morning sickness medicate.

[C]

Kupd, have you ever wanted to go to the NBA Finals? Well, thanks to our friends at FanDuel, you've now got a chance. It's Nick Saluto from Holberg's morning sickness. And all you have to do is use your profit boost on an NBA future and you'll be entered for a shot to win an NBA finals trip for two. So visit FanDuel.com KUPD for the info and to get started and play your game with FanDuel, official sports betting partner of the NBA 21+ in President Arizona. No purchase necessary. Limit one entry for profit boost token. Opt in required. Must apply Profit boost token on select market Restrictions apply. See full terms, including methods of [e-mail] gambling problem. Call or text 1-800- gambler.

[A]

It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. Time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins dot com. Another satisfied listener called TV's Doug Hopkins and sold her home for cash. She reached out. Her name's Ashley, and Doug wants to make it simple. Buy your house for cash as is. You don't have to do anything. Just like Ashley, no strings attached. If he moves that price, you get $5,000. Want to sell that place? Start the process online@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing.

[D]

So here is a hypothetical poll that someone did on social media. Pretty good. The question was, you can get $10 million right now, but your lifespan will decrease by 10 years.

[A]

I'll take it.

[D]

You take the offer.

[C]

How much?

[A]

I want to get old.

[D]

10,000. 10 million.

[C]

Oh, 10 million.

[A]

Yes. Absolutely.

[D]

Decreased by 10 years. 63% of the people said yes in a heartbeat.

[A]

Here's the reason why the other ones are lying. I'm 53. Exactly 10 years off. My life is fine. That means I can quit today. And I'm healthy enough to enjoy that money as retirement rather than struggle or fight to retire.

[D]

So a couple of comments, you know, guys like, win, win. Another guy said, make it a decrease of 30 years and I'll still think,

[A]

I don't know, depending on your age. Hope to Christ I don't have 30 years left, right? I'll go to, like 66, 67. But I've been looking to trip. Getting old ain't good.

[C]

I told my.

[A]

He just walks like he wants out.

[C]

When I met my actual aunt, my. My dad's sister, I asked her, I'm like, hey. I go, what's the deal with the health of the men in this family? I go, I don't know anything. You know, what am I. What am I looking at? And she goes, well, I don't want to disappoint you or anything.

[A]

I have a. I have a tape of you, actually. Yeah, exactly. Where are the men in this country? Where are the men in this world? What the hell have we become? Sorry. The tape of him asking his aunt.

[C]

So I asked her, I asked her, how long do they live? She goes, well, I don't want to disappoint you, but all the men in this family have lived well into their 90s. I do not want to live well into my 90s. So I'll take. I'll take checking out at 80.

[A]

I'm starting to look at my. My dad and his sisters. My dad's super duper healthy at 78. Knock him when he's 78. And like his. His one sister's like 91.

[D]

Is that the.

[A]

She's doing great C word Joan? No, no, no, no. The aunt Joan. It was misspelled. I just didn't realize it was a one letter difference. Yes, it became C word Joan, but that was a on text. I didn't realize that was happening. I didn't realize Ant and the C word were one letter apart. They're totally. They're totally different pronunciations. But she's in her 80s. She's doing great. She had all sorts of health problems, so I'm hoping it skips a generation because my dad's dad got real sick at like his late 60s, and then he lived to be like 74, but it was like 68, 69. He got. He got the bad boy.

[C]

So it's just your dad and the two sisters.

[A]

Two sisters. And then my grandma was. Was till 80 something, but she didn't. The last couple years were just her wandering around looking at clouds.

[C]

Alvar have brothers?

[A]

You know, I don't know. I think so. A lot of people named Pear and Ingvar, right? The names of the furniture. Yeah. If. Yeah, if I go through ikea, I'm like, that was my uncle's name. That's my great uncle's name. A lot of, um. Lots. And I didn't. We didn't pay attention.

[D]

I got a quick. Wild America.

[A]

Okay. Okay. Is it about the p. Pygmy hippo.

[D]

Hello, my friends. I'm Brady Bogan, and this is your Wild America. We can do that real quick. The pygmy hippo. Brett mentioned it.

[A]

Yep.

[D]

Name's Jelly Bean. Well, no, we're trying to go for Rachel Catherine.

[A]

Rachel Catherine Ryan, we're going to. Yeah, we call it Rachel Catherine. Jelly bean is. That's. Jelly bean's already taken. It's too urban.

[D]

We got a convicted felon from Watts who's been sentenced to 45 days in jail on 12 months of probation for posting a video of himself feeding a Cooper's hawk a buzz ball.

[A]

I don't know what a buzzball is.

[D]

That's one of those little ball drinks that are pre mixed cocktails.

[A]

Okay. Oh, no, I'm not a hillbilly. I don't have those.

[D]

It is a sugar bomb.

[A]

I don't have those. I'm not a redneck.

[C]

They have. They have the giant one that looks like the old Coors light ball keg. You Remember those?

[A]

Well, they have those too.

[C]

Giant ones.

[D]

A 2 gallon one or something like that.

[A]

Or I, I. As far as I go, Caesar, I've got High Noon. That's as far as I'll go. As far as that.

[D]

But Caesar Diaz was the guy feeding the Cooper's hockey. Found it, was injured. It was in this park and posted. Hanging out with the homie and says Hawk loves him some buzzball.

[A]

Is the hawk live?

[D]

It's alive. And he's drinking the buzz ball.

[A]

But is the hawk doing better now? Yeah, because then it worked.

[D]

He released it by the time the the wildlife officials showed up. Like I said, he got 45 days in jail and 12 months probation.

[A]

Where was he?

[D]

At some park in Watts. What is that?

[A]

You know, this is playing in the background, too. Oh, my God. Didn't even catch that. What up, Hawk? You doing, player? Yeah, Hawk's looking at him, just kind of bobbing his head. My wing hurts. Yeah, you need a little sip out. Let's pour one out for your hawk homies.

[D]

Tip of my buzz ball, bro.

[A]

Just waking up. Let's take your ass to the stove. That hawk drinking on my buzzball. How's this happening outside? How's this happening outside at a park? Your house is on fire. It was Watts. They're not. There's not. It's not on a loop. Yeah, it is. No, it isn't. Well, they had smoke detectors outside.311s on a loop at Brady's neighborhood.

[D]

They have those street lights. They got speakers in my neighborhood.

[A]

We must be a walk. You guys hear that? You guys hear that? Oh, boy. Somebody messed around. Got a triple double. And I heard it. We should probably turn around. What are the lights of the Goodyear blimps? Nice cubes of pimp. We're in a bad neighborhood. The blimp. The blimp is even acquiescing. If you've ever said that phrase in your life, you're in a bad. The blimp is acquiescing. It's time to turn around. It's adapting. Jesus Christ. The blimp's trying to please him. It's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins dot com. Let's talk about the people who make claims. For instance, a company out there saying they'll get you 100% of market value for your home. And a lot of times, Mr. 100% getting that inspection and says, oh, 100% just dropped because you've got a few more problems. Don't play around with these people. Trust me when I say you can trust TV's Doug Hopkins. He won't play with the offer at all. If he does, he'll give you $5,000 guaranteed. You can start the [e-mail] or grab that phone number and sing. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness. And I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my [e-mail] youm've heard me mention Kevin Costner, Trey McBride, other countless celebrities and pro athletes and how they chose lifted trucks. But that doesn't mean it's only for actors and pro athletes. It's for all of you. Everybody who loves a cool adventure. So if you're a huge celebrity like me or just an average Joe who wants the best truck available, head on over to Lifted Trucks. They live up to being the number one custom truck dealer for over 30 years. 10,000 five star reviews can't be wrong. Lifted trucks dot com. Work hard, play hard, drive harder. Holmberg's morning sickness. And then you. And then you came in here and you started talking. We catching up and doing everything else. And right before we go on the air, you said you've been trying to put together Palsy on Ice. Those people who don't know you have a touch of palsy.

[E]

No, I don't. I'm just a real prick.

[A]

It's not a touch of. It's just a. You're just a dollop, little dollop of palsy that'll get you.

[E]

It's an idea I had for a while, Palsy and I. I think it's just we'd be like renting out hockey arenas, I think. And who wouldn't want to come? See, we'll just get a bunch of palsy people and push them out there.

[A]

Yeah. See what they can do.

[E]

Yeah. Last one standing gets the helmet.

[A]

Can you skate?

[E]

No. I don't know.

[D]

Too many people can find the palsy quad God.

[A]

Oh, my God. If you could get a quad God and just an accidental one, like he'd be just flailing around and then accidentally do four spins. Tens.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

It's tens across the board. I'm telling you right now. I would. Not only would I buy tickets to that, I want to be an investor in it.

[E]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[A]

Yeah. I want to put my money in this with you and. And you know palsy people. You probably.

[E]

I know some. Yeah. And everyone I mentioned to us, like, yeah, I'm in.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

What do You. Yeah.

[D]

What's good?

[A]

What's the worst can happen?

[D]

You limp More mascots you can.

[E]

I mean, what's the mask characters. You got me thinking.

[D]

Here comes Goofy.

[A]

We're gonna put you in suits like it's a masked singer and stuff. And they have you guys skating around and like what you don't know and we won't tell anybody. What you don't know is everyone in the suit has palsy. And that's why this has gone so poorly.

[E]

The masked singer too. I always said I wanted to be. I always wanted to be on that show. Masked singer. And then the puppet has palsy. Is that Josh Blue in there?

[A]

Immediately Ken jog lets Josh Blue just let it go.

[E]

Just until you hear a PA Guy singing too.

[A]

And there's another one. Paley Karaoke and cars. Pauly Y driving in cars with people. With Pauly doing karaoke.

[E]

Doing crack.

[A]

Yeah. And let's. Let's add in the pipe.

[E]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

You drive around and we sing karaoke songs. Which is gold.

[D]

The lollipops.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't want to get crazy. I want to get arrested.

[E]

Sucker.

[A]

Yeah, like you're. You can drive. Drive.

[E]

No, I don't have my license.

[A]

Yeah, but you can drive.

[E]

Yeah, I do.

[A]

I didn't say you were legally doing this.

[E]

I just bought a side by side.

[A]

Oh, that's so smart.

[E]

Yeah, it's really dangerous.

[A]

I mean you're, you're not even your own side by side. Let's be honest. Half of you doesn't.

[E]

That's very.

[A]

Thank you. Very good at this. Yeah. So. But yeah. You got a side by side. Are you riding the bottom of it?

[E]

Yeah, I. I do the, the in the back. The dump part.

[A]

You get. Yeah. You get drug around.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Well, actually, you know what?

[A]

I. I want to see this. But you and me driving around, I'll let you drive my car.

[E]

No, you won't.

[A]

Yes, I will. I got a couple of them. All right. I'm insured. We pop you in there, we drive around you. And I do karaoke. Comedian with palsy and cars. Doing karaoke. Getting coffee.

[D]

Let's do it with a. With a nice cup of. Of piping hot coffee.

[A]

Piping honcho in one hand.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Piping honcho in one hand. My life in the other.

[D]

Maybe

[E]

a big bowl of soup.

[D]

Oh, even better.

[A]

Good road food. Oh man. I didn't even think of this because it's insensitive. But since you're here and you started it.

[E]

Oh yeah. Cuz it's insensitive.

[A]

That's why I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't. You know me, Josh. You know me. I would never think of.

[E]

Of.

[A]

Of pitting palsy against palsy. But I think it's great for entertainment.

[E]

Yeah. Yeah. No, for sure.

[A]

Skating around. Have you ever worn skates?

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And how'd that go?

[E]

No.

[A]

The answer is no. 1 and done.

[E]

You know what the. This is the stupidest thing ever. But it was when I was a kid. It was like a camp retreat. I don't know. We went roller skating.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Big bus of kids. We get to the rain, everybody gets off the bus running to go into the ranker. And I was unconscious before I even made it into the building. You know, the double doors, there's the divider in the middle. I must have ran into that and not myself completely.

[D]

But you're running with the mob.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Not knowing.

[E]

And I didn't even get escape. You got center even in the building.

[A]

But can I ask you why your parents. Parents didn't. Why did they sign that slip to let you go on that field trip.

[E]

You know, my parents were pretty okay with me getting hurt.

[D]

He was durable. They knew.

[A]

Look at me now. Yeah, you can take a punch over.

[E]

Protect me. I'm the youngest of four, so by the time they got to me, they're like, ah, palsy.

[A]

Big deal. Did all the other kids, they came out already.

[E]

They had a great time. No, no, no.

[A]

Not at the thing.

[E]

Oh, my siblings. Yeah. So none of them have any disabilities, you know, that we talk about and.

[A]

Oh,

[E]

I'm lucky. My disabilities on the outside. Yeah.

[A]

Do you have a good relationship with all of them? Clearly.

[E]

Yeah, yeah, they're good. Good folks. Yeah.

[A]

But you don't like one of them. Yeah.

[D]

You have a favorite. You have a favorite.

[E]

No, I have a. So my brother is 10 years older, and he's like the smartest dude. Like, there's nothing you can and ask him that he doesn't know. Right. Like, going to a, like, trivia with him. The worst. They're not even done saying the answers.

[D]

Like 1948, the master.

[E]

Easy, easy.

[D]

Rain Man.

[A]

So you like him?

[E]

He's good. It's just a lot.

[A]

Oh, you don't like him?

[E]

No, I. I love him.

[A]

Well, I didn't ask that. So you don't like him?

[E]

No, but it's just like, I think he was never diagnosed with autism.

[A]

Oh, he's got a wild case.

[E]

I think he's just super autistic.

[A]

Like the Asperger's vers. Yeah.

[E]

Like. Like very high functioning whatever.

[A]

Right.

[E]

But just can't.

[D]

He's not Rain Man.

[E]

Right. Like the smartest dude you'll ever meet, but also really dumb. Just because he can't, like, socially put it to use.

[A]

Yeah. What does he do for a living?

[E]

Well, he works for me right now.

[A]

Is that right? The smartest man you know is your underling.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

That's kind of funny.

[D]

What department?

[E]

He works dinner.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

He makes my dinner.

[A]

Is that right?

[E]

He cooks for the Me and My.

[A]

He's a nutritionist.

[E]

And then. I wouldn't say that, but does he

[A]

live at the house? He's a house boy.

[E]

So I have another house that he lives in and he comes over and does. He packs my bag.

[A]

This sounds very 1840s.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

He's got a guy in the back house and does some work for him and he goes back to his place. Oh, I like it.

[E]

But he's also a editor, so he.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

He works for, like, a publishing company.

[A]

Okay, so he's got another job, a real job, but he's actually your or whipping boy.

[E]

Yeah, but I'm afraid of him, so

[A]

I don't think it's my older brothers.

[E]

I don't say boob.

[A]

Morning sickness medicate. KUPD. Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my friend Wayne from AMCO. Wayne, it's Tax time. You filed and your refunds burn in a hole in your pocket. That's right, Larry. Before you book a trip or buy something shiny, please remember your car. Tax time's the best time to take care of all the car repairs you've been putting off. Sure, because nothing kills a tax refund buzz faster than a surprise car breakdown. I'll say. If your car's been acting, now's the time to handle it. Should we wait for our refund before getting repairs? No way. Amco payment plans let you get repairs now and pay when you get your check. Google AMCO for your nearest location. That's Amco double A MCO transmissions and a whole lot more. The Renaissance Festival is back. Weekends now through March 29th. Be ready to have a great time. Amazing adventure awaits the entire family. New shows, shopping, jousting, nights, non stop feasting. Leave your cares behind. Happiness reigns at the Renaissance Festival. It's fun and affordable. Visit now through March 29th. Discount tickets available at Bashes and Food City or online at arizona.renfestinfo.com presented by Delta Airlines. Bashes, Food City, Pepsi, Budweiser and Guinness. Holg's Morning sickness. The gang is Here, Ron. Caps brought beautiful people. You can go home. Come on in here, Maddie. Everybody sit down. No, no, we're going right on. I'm John.

[B]

Maddie.

[A]

Nice to meet you. Cap, stand in the background. Matty's here. For God's sake. What do we need to talk to you for? What are you going to the bathroom for? Christ, matty. He goes 700 miles an hour for a living. It took him an hour to get here. What was he walking? What's up with that? What is going on? Introduce yourself, Maddie. Who are you there? She's talking to Brett already. Grab that mic and. Yeah, get the headphones on so you can hear everything properly. You're a race car driver.

[D]

She's a speed demon.

[A]

You are. This is. Why do you hate your parents so much? Grab the mic and get in on us.

[B]

Okay, okay. All right, I'm here. I'm here.

[A]

Maddie, what's your last. Last name?

[B]

Maddie Gordon.

[A]

Maddie Gordon. And you are a. You're a beautiful model race car driver.

[B]

I like that. That sounds cool.

[A]

You know it. Let's not pretend your Instagram with a little swag. Let's not pretend your Instagram isn't filled with you in, like, dresses and bikinis.

[B]

It's not.

[C]

It's not.

[A]

It's not. Why not?

[B]

Ah, because I'm a race car driver.

[A]

I work on race cars, but fan base through the moon.

[B]

No, it's been good, though.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

It's when she starts winning. How did you start?

[A]

How'd you get into that? That?

[B]

It's a family, so. My grandfather started driving about 40 years ago, and then my dad drove for 30 years.

[A]

Holy cow.

[B]

My sister and I, I mean, we went. I went to my first race at eight days old.

[D]

So remember it.

[B]

I know. You know how you have, like, those milestones, like. Oh, you know, she started walking here. Well, I rolled over at Chicago. Everything's like, what? Race track. Documented, Right?

[A]

At the racetrack. Yeah. No kidding.

[B]

Yep. Basically grew up at the racetrack.

[A]

So you grew up. Grew up around the noise and the fun and all the stuff, right? Yes. Oh, I gotta get that one.

[B]

Oh, yes.

[A]

And then. And then how do you run into caps?

[B]

So we're from the same hometown.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

So San Luis Obispo.

[A]

Oh, I'm sorry. I'll talk slower. I didn't know you're from where Ron's from. I've been speeding by. You like one of your slow. Yeah. All right, so you're from Slo. Okay. I got you the slow, as they say.

[B]

The slow.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

I've Already warned her about you guys.

[A]

So you know why they call it slow, right?

[B]

I don't.

[A]

Because Caps grew up there. Oh man.

[B]

Good thing he's here to defend himself.

[A]

How do you have an accent from Kentucky?

[D]

It's a racing accident.

[A]

How did you develop that in San Luis Obispo?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, when you go to the races, you're around all those Midwest people, you know.

[F]

Oh, nice. Yeah.

[A]

Caps doesn't have one of those.

[D]

That's part of the training. They teach you that accent.

[F]

Good thing there's no video in here, huh?

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

You turn red.

[B]

I'm getting red, guys.

[A]

Okay, so you, you are, you're racing. So when is the first time you start racing?

[B]

So we just finished testing. Got my, my license upgrade.

[A]

That was your first race?

[B]

My first race ever.

[D]

No.

[A]

When did you start? Like when did you get behind the wheel and go I'm doing this.

[B]

Well, I mean I started driving when I was 8 years old, but I started my.

[A]

It's illegal.

[B]

I did testing in the top fuel car last week.

[F]

He drove an alcohol funny car. The slower funny cars than ours.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

250 mile an hour.

[A]

That was passive.

[D]

So that's what I saw like last week or two weeks ago. You're signing the papers.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

You're officially licensed.

[A]

Yeah. So you are not. You are just getting into this like right now.

[F]

Made her first runs last week.

[B]

Yes.

[F]

First time ever. Went 325 on her license.

[A]

That's your first try? Yes.

[B]

I went faster than I've ever gone. So we you. I would go 271 to the quarter miles mile. I went over 280 to the eighth mile which is half the distance.

[D]

That's all numbers.

[A]

So previously you would just drive in Buicks around real fast. Yeah.

[D]

What was your first car?

[B]

Toyota Tacoma.

[A]

And you were going like 95 and go woohoo. Yeehaw. All through sand Louisa Brisbane. The need for speed like a cowboy hat and then cowboy and then. Yeah, I don't get the accent that's throwing me off.

[B]

I didn't know I had an accent till now.

[D]

Oh my gosh.

[A]

You can definitely hear it. Yes. We were driving around over there with Peso Robles. Listen, like what?

[D]

There's a wrench in your hand. Yeah. You need.

[B]

I think I need a cowboy hat when I come to this race.

[A]

Next time. That's it. Yeah. We out there looking. Sam Simeon. That's Sam Simeon. They got that castle. That's so accent crazy. Anyway, so that's crazy that you're just now starting this?

[F]

Yes.

[A]

And is. Is this human trafficking or are you wanting to do this? Is. Is Cass kidnapping?

[D]

Something was going on.

[A]

Yeah, cuz, this doesn't seem like you shouldn't even have the uniform yet. And here you are talking about the races.

[D]

I thought she said Ron Botman. Me eight years ago.

[A]

Yeah, that's what I'm hearing. You're from San Luis Obispo now. Drop the hillbilly nonsense. I can't try Uncle Ron. Don't call me that.

[D]

She's in trouble after this.

[A]

I told you.

[D]

Too heavy with the accent.

[A]

Jesus Christ. They're going to know you're from Tennessee. Out. Now we got Nancy Guthrie in the back of the car, too. What's going on? Sorry. Was that too far? Anyway, little too soon. Is it too soon? I got four. Find her first. I gotcha. Anyway, so you're not really a race car driver yet?

[B]

Well, I've been a race car driver since I was 8 years old, but I'm a new Top Fuel driver.

[A]

I mean, I've been a professional baseball player since I was like 7, but I've not do. I haven't done it yet.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

So you're going to get in your first race, like in the next. Like this year.

[D]

So did you go to the different levels, like pro stock or just right to Top Fuel?

[B]

Yeah, so I went junior dragsters for 10 years, went. Went into super Comp for about a year, Alcohol funny car for two years, and then now Top Fuel.

[F]

She drove her dad's alcohol funny car, which. The car's like mine, but they go 260, 270. Her dad won a world championship in that same car. And then he got out of the seat and put her in a couple years ago. And ironically, I signed her license off in Minnesota in that funny car. So she jumped right into a 270 mile an hour funny car. And she's very mechanical. Like, I watched them grow up.

[D]

Is she AI.

[A]

Yeah, she's robotic, but she.

[F]

She works on the car, builds a clutch. Her and her sister build the whole race car pretty much.

[A]

Amazing.

[F]

So her dad is now back in the seat, but when we hired her, we built a team around her.

[A]

Awesome.

[F]

And so Carlisle Tools came on board and she got her license upgrade. And so we kick off the season at the Gator Nationals in Florida next week. And then we come here.

[A]

What a story.

[F]

March 20th.

[A]

Yeah, this is. I'm so happy for you. And I don't know you at all, but this is so cool that you just get to plop down in this thing right away. And were you friends with her dad?

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

And so, you guys.

[F]

My grandfather actually erased a funny car back when I was a kid.

[A]

No kidding.

[F]

You know, my dad raced, and so I would see her grandpa, and then her dad at the time was a little younger than me, but he was a little kid running around the pit area. So, yeah. Yeah. I've known him forever.

[A]

What a story. So then you've known the whole family for a long time. You kidnap her, take her away from the family, plop her down in a car.

[D]

What a run.

[A]

I was waiting for somebody. How much?

[B]

No, I knew it was coming.

[A]

No kidding. I'm literally floored that this has happened. How this progression has occurred.

[D]

You hop in and you go at 260.

[A]

Yeah. That's crazy.

[F]

Well, you got to get them. They got to come out and touch your race car and watch the engine. These guys.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[F]

Every time they do it, I'll do that.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

You guys gotta come out.

[A]

Yeah. Ron's always asking us to touch stuff. Is he doing the same. Wink at me. Wink at me. If that's a thing. Just do it. Just.

[D]

It's okay.

[A]

It's okay. Because he did it with Hagen for a while, too. Then Hagen got huge, quit. He started working out.

[E]

Working out.

[D]

He's like, no. And I worked out.

[A]

I worked out with Hagen once, and he goes, never again. Every curl. Never again, Ron. Every curl.

[B]

He warned me about you guys.

[A]

Now I know why it's scary.

[F]

Hagen did or they did?

[A]

Yeah. This is so cool. Good for you. And do you golf?

[B]

Do I golf?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I can golf.

[A]

You can golf. That was the question.

[F]

Golf.

[B]

Am I good?

[A]

Ask your owner. Is she allowed to golf? She don't answer that. Heck, back home in Tennessee. Oh, it's abyspo.

[B]

We used to golf all the time back in Tennessee.

[A]

We don't go far now. Come on back. Yeah. Oh, this is cool. All right, so now we're rooting for you. How old are you?

[B]

21.

[A]

Jesus Christ. This is too soon.

[D]

And so your sister is on the team, too?

[B]

No, she's on my family's team. She builds all the short blocks for my dad's car. So if she left there, we'd be in big trouble.

[F]

You'd walk in their pit area, and these two little girls are building the race car. It was crazy to walk in there for people to see that. And then she jumps in it and goes, 270, man.

[A]

All right. That's incredible. That's. That's a Story right there. All right. Maddie Gordon has joined us with Ron Caps. The great Ron Caps.

[F]

Yeah, I'm here too.

[A]

You're here as well. How long it's been that way?

[C]

All morning.

[F]

We got to the, the tv. The first TV student want me. They just took her and she's.

[A]

I can you put your helmet on? That's all people want from you.

[D]

Yeah, you're better off. Just come in with the helmet.

[A]

Yeah, just wear the helmet goom and then like who's that? You know, this is, this is a good move. Like this is like, this is like what an incredible story. Like that is so great. And very rarely does somebody get a chance to be part of the championship team as well, which is really cool.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

No, it is, it's. It's beyond a dream. You know, this was never something that I thought was in the cards for me. They say shoot for the stars. This was like outer space.

[D]

It happened quick.

[B]

It happened, man. It was the middle of my rookie season when Ron approached my dad and asked, hey, would she.

[A]

How much for that one? You guys, I know where to go with this. Back to Dollywood. I know.

[D]

Yeah. If you weren't doing this, what would you be doing?

[B]

I don't know that I want to answer that. You guys are gonna spin it.

[A]

Do you think if there, if racing wasn't in the cards that you, what would you do? Did you go to college? You don't need college. College.

[B]

No, I actually my sister and I started a manufacturing company. I was 15 and she was 13.

[A]

What are you making?

[B]

Anything metal. 10 foot racks to a little trinket.

[A]

No kidding.

[B]

Lathe parts.

[F]

She welds better than most guys on the team.

[A]

Better than me. I can't do it at all.

[D]

Opening those mail pieces and there you are hanging on garage racks.

[A]

Wow, that's amazing.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

Follow her Instagram and go back and you'll see her welding and in the shop building stuff. It's pretty wild.

[A]

Well, that sounds boring. When you say watch this girl on Instagram, like I gotta watch her make a bead. I'm gonna go to AI and watch other things on Instagram. Chick welding. That sounds terrible. Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio radio station. February in Arizona is just about perfect. It's Larry mcfailey and the weather's great. The roads are calling and now is the time to find your next Toyota. If you're looking for something tough, then check out the Toyota Tacoma and Tundra. They're built to handle the desert trails, weekend projects and everything in between need something smooth, efficient and easy to love. The Camry and Corolla deliver comfort, reliability and great fuel efficiency for your daily drive, no matter your lifestyle. There's a Toyota that fits you. Visit your Valley Toyota Dealers or valleytoyotadeealers.com Toyota Let's Go Places It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness for lifechangerloan.com so as you know by now, if I'm telling you about a product, I am using it. And that's because I don't want to be accused of steering you the wrong direction. I've told you that most clients of Life Change alone pay off their mortgage in about five years. That means you're not paying 30 years of interest. So on top of paying off your mortgage in five years because all your money goes to the principal first, you're going to save hundreds of thousands of dollars on interest. It isn't tricky. Nothing about this should have you rol in your eyes. It's not magic, it's just math. Lifechangerloan.com.