02-26-26 - Josh Blue - Tempe Improv - In Studio w/His New Autobiography

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg’s Morning Sickness – 02/26/26 – Josh Blue In Studio with His New Autobiography

Episode Theme:
Comic Josh Blue drops into the studio for a rollicking, candid, and irreverent conversation about his enduring comedy career, life with cerebral palsy, family hijinks, adventures in Africa, and his new autobiography Something to Stare At. The hosts and Josh riff on everything from divorce and disability to zoo pranks and excavator shopping, blending sharp wit with heart and honesty.

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1. Josh Blue Returns: Comedy Roots & Long History with the Show

• Longevity in Comedy and Friendship

  • Josh Blue’s appearances with the show date back almost two decades.
  • "I won Last Comic Standing in 2006." (Josh Blue, 02:47)
  • Discussion of pivotal life events shared with the show over the years — marriage, kids, and divorce.
  • Light teasing about his repeated breakups and reconciliations, all in good humor.

• Quote:
  “You guys are really making differences.”
  – Josh Blue, (02:30)

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2. Disability, Comedy, and ‘Palsy on Ice’

• Josh’s Approach to Disability

  • The group jokes about Josh’s palsy, with Josh steering and owning the humor:
    • “No, I don’t. I’m just a real prick.” (Josh Blue, 03:10)
  • He pitches comedic concepts: "Palsy on Ice" (disabled contestants in a skating contest), and palsy-themed versions of pop culture (Masked Singer, Carpool Karaoke).
  • The hosts riff along, cooking up more over-the-top (but self-aware) ideas.

• Quote:
  "Last one standing gets the helmet."
  – Josh Blue, (03:35)

• Memorable Line:
  “Comedian with palsy and cars. Doing karaoke. Getting coffee.”
  – Brett Vesely, (06:16)

• Josh describes buying a side-by-side off-road vehicle:
  “It’s really dangerous.”
  – Josh Blue, (05:29)

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3. Family Stories: Siblings, Pranks & Tampons

• Sibling Dynamics

  • Josh is the youngest of four—describes getting picked on and pranked by older siblings.
  • Recounts being convinced by his sisters that he should be worried about not having a period, complete with carrying a tampon to school.
    • “For two weeks, I had that in my backpack.” (Josh Blue, 10:44)
  • Fondly (if wryly) reflects on how these childhood experiences shaped him.
  • Quick indictments of his family’s sense of humor, “My disability is on the outside. I’m lucky.” (08:08)

• Brother Works for Josh

  • His elder brother (whom he suspects is autistic) now works for him — cooking dinners and editing.
    • “The smartest man you know is your under…”
      “Yeah.” – Josh Blue, (09:25)

• Notable Quote:
  "I’m waiting for like, Menopause… I think I’m perimenopausal."
  – Josh Blue, (11:23, 11:29)

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4. Personal Growth, Adventure, and Setbacks

• Camelback ‘Everest’ Climb

  • Josh and Brett reminisced about hiking Phoenix’s Camelback Mountain together—Josh’s ‘Everest.’
  • Jokes about being unable to summit Kilimanjaro because another man with palsy did it first, and after Josh had a mishap:
    • "I cracked my...what’s it called? The coccyx." (Josh Blue, 17:43)

• Quote on Facing Physical Setbacks:
  “I became one of three people in the world that could pet that gorilla.”
  – Josh Blue, recounting zoo adventure, (23:05)

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5. The Book: Something to Stare At

• Background and Themes

  • Josh’s autobiography covers his childhood, living in Africa, his career, and wild personal stories.
  • Born in Cameroon, spent time in Senegal—speaks French and Wolof.
    • “People…have seen me on the TV…they don’t really realize I was born in Africa.” (Josh Blue, 19:23)
  • Large portion describes his time as a zoo intern—being the "Boo Boo monkey" on display in a Senegalese zoo.
    • “I had them lock me in a cage for an entire day next to a 400 pound gorilla.” (Josh Blue, 21:12)

• Quote:
  “They said it was the busiest day of the zoo they’ve ever had.”
  – Josh Blue, (21:31)

• Zoo Experiment Story:

  • Crowd tossed bananas, Josh grunted and played the part, totally in character.
  • “People were like throwing bananas to me. No kidding. I mean it's all in the book.” (Josh Blue, 22:30)
  • Gained unique status with the gorilla: “I became one of three people in the world that could pet that…gorilla.” (23:05)

• Book Purchase Info

  • Go to joshblue.com for a signed copy; jokes about slow shipping.
    • “Guarantee it will not be there [on time].” (Josh Blue, 25:08)

• Audiobook?

  • Not yet available; hosts joke about doing the narration.

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6. Odd Life Purchases and One-Liners

• Excavator Over Sports Car
  • Instead of a traditional luxury purchase, Josh buys an excavator for mountain land.
    • “Most like successful people buy like a nice sports car. So what I bought instead was excavator.” (Josh Blue, 27:22)

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7. Notable Quotes & Moments by Timestamp

• [03:10] Josh Blue: “No, I don’t. I’m just a real prick.” (Joking about his palsy)
• [06:16] Brett Vesely: “Comedian with palsy and cars. Doing karaoke. Getting coffee.”
• [10:44] Josh Blue: “For two weeks, I had that in my backpack.” (On keeping a tampon due to prank)
• [11:23] Josh Blue: "I'm 46. I'm waiting for like, Menopause."
• [17:43] Josh Blue: “I cracked my...what's it called? The coccyx.”
• [21:12] Josh Blue: “I had them lock me in a cage for an entire day next to a 400 pound gorilla.”
• [23:05] Josh Blue: “I became one of three people in the world that could pet that gorilla.”

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8. Closing Rapid-Fire

• Josh jokes about a lack of wisdom in parting ("I don’t know. Perfect." – 29:03).
• The show closes with reminders about his book and his stand-up shows at Tempe Improv.

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Conclusion

This episode delivers everything you’d expect from a Josh Blue appearance with Holmberg’s crew: unsparing self-deprecating humor, outlandish but true stories, raw candor about family and ability, and the kind of camaraderie you only get with years of shared history. The conversation never lags, swerving from ridiculous pranks to near-death gorilla encounters, with Josh’s new autobiography as the anchor. Laughter, irreverence, and poignant insight about life on the margins — all with the quicksilver charm that’s made Josh Blue and these hosts audience favorites for two decades.

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Transcript

[John Holmberg]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

It's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness, and I've got a new friend I'm fired up to tell you about Modern Resolution Windows and Doors. And I'm genuinely excited to tell you that these guys are good. Locally owned, licensed, bonded, insured, custom windows and doors made in America with a lifetime guarantee. Free labor on six or more units. Mention Holmberg, and you'll get an extra 500 bucks off modern Resolution Windows and Doors, my new find and your home's new upgrade. Free in home consultations. All you got to do is call, text or book [e-mail] give them a call. 480-665-5732.

Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[Byron]

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[John Holmberg]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[Byron]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it all online. That simple.

[John Holmberg]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[Brett Vesely]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Palsy on Ice is what we've been talking about. Off the air. Josh Blue is here. He's at the Tempe Improv tonight, tomorrow and Saturday if you want to go. 10:00pm Pro com and one of our favorite people to come wandering in here who's been doing this with us now, which would be about 18 or 19 years.

[Josh Blue]

It's crazy.

[Brett Vesely]

That is nonsense. You said that your kids in college y. And we helped you while the woman was pregnant, I believe.

[Josh Blue]

Yep.

[Brett Vesely]

You really to divorce that lady on the air. You did it here on our show. We did. We got hurt.

[John Holmberg]

We got.

[Brett Vesely]

He said he was miserable with her. Called her C word like nine times.

[Josh Blue]

Not on air. No, no.

[Brett Vesely]

Off the air. Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

No, I'm not.

[Brett Vesely]

You're classy animal. Yeah, Josh, you are. Please, I give you more credit than that.

[Josh Blue]

Thank you.

[Brett Vesely]

But Then we said, well, let's call her, get you out of this. Because you were like. You seemed like you were afraid to go home.

[Josh Blue]

I was.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Josh Blue]

I still am. We've been divorced for 10 years, and

[Brett Vesely]

we got you to.

[Brady]

Well, double checks.

[Brett Vesely]

Worst news about it, though, is that we thought we. You're fresh and clean. Out of that.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And you went back and got her pregnant again.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah, double.

[Brett Vesely]

And then came back and like, no, we're still together, and she's pregnant again. And then we talked into really getting rid of her, and you finally stuck.

[Josh Blue]

You guys are really making differences.

[Brett Vesely]

We changed.

[Josh Blue]

We changed home record.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, in a good way, though.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah. Yeah. No, I feel great. Great.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. You're. And you're happier.

[Josh Blue]

I am.

[Brett Vesely]

You're welcome.

[Josh Blue]

Light and airy. You're welcome.

[Brett Vesely]

But. Yeah. I can't believe it when you said that. I'm like, that means we've known you for almost 20 years.

[Josh Blue]

So. I won Last Comic Standing in 2006.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay. Which is 20 years.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah.

[Brady]

20 years.

[Josh Blue]

Isn't that insane?

[Brett Vesely]

That doesn't make sense. Unbelievable.

[Dick Toledo]

Wow.

[Brett Vesely]

And then you. And then you came in here and you started talking. We Catching up and doing everything else. And right before we go on the air, you said you've been trying to put together Palsy on Ice. Those people who don't know you have a touch of palsy.

[Josh Blue]

No, I don't. I'm just a real prick.

[Brett Vesely]

It's not a touch of.

[Brady]

It's just a.

[Brett Vesely]

You're just a dollop of Palsy. A little dollop of Palsy that'll get you.

[Josh Blue]

It's an idea I had for a while. Palsy and Ice, I think it's just. We'd be like, renting out hockey arenas, I think, and who wouldn't want to come? See, we'll just get a bunch of palsy people and push them out there.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. See what they can do.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah. Last one standing gets the helmet.

[John Holmberg]

Can you skate?

[Josh Blue]

No. I don't know.

[Brady]

Too many people can find the. The Palsy quad God.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, my God. If you could get a quad God and just an accidental one, like, he'd be just flailing around and then accidentally do four spins.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

It's tens across the board. I'm telling you right now. I would. Not only would I buy tickets to that, I want to be an investor in it.

[Josh Blue]

Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

I want to put my money in this with you. And. And you know palsy people. You probably.

[Josh Blue]

I know some. Yeah.

[Brady]

And everyone.

[Josh Blue]

Attention to. It's like. Yeah. I'M in.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Josh Blue]

What do you.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Brady]

What's good?

[Brett Vesely]

What's the worst can happen?

[Brady]

You limp more blending some mascots.

[Brett Vesely]

You can't.

[Josh Blue]

I mean, what's the mascot characters? You got me thinking.

[Brady]

Here comes Goofy.

[Brett Vesely]

We're gonna put you in suits. Like. Yeah, like it's a masked singer and stuff. And then if you guys skating around and like what you don't know and we won't tell anybody. What you don't know is everyone in the suit has palsy. And that's why this has gone so poorly.

[Josh Blue]

The masked singer too. I always said I wanted to be on. I always wanted to be on that show. Masked singer. And then the puppet has palsy. Is that Josh Blue in there?

[Brett Vesely]

Immediately Ken jog lets Josh Blue just let it go.

[Josh Blue]

Just until you hear a palsy guy singing too.

[Brett Vesely]

And there's another one. Palsy karaoke in cars. Paul's a yoki driving in cars with people. With Pauly doing karaoke.

[Josh Blue]

Doing crack.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. And let's. Let's add in the pipe.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

You drive around and we sing karaoke songs. This is gold.

[Brady]

The lollipops.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't want to get crazy. I want to get arrested.

[Josh Blue]

Suckers.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, like you're. You can drive.

[Josh Blue]

No, I don't have my license.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, but you can drive.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah, I drive.

[Brett Vesely]

I didn't say you were legally doing this.

[Josh Blue]

I just bought a side by side.

[Brett Vesely]

That's so smart.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah, it's really dangerous.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean you're. You're not even your own side by side. Let's be honest. Half of you doesn't.

[Josh Blue]

It's very astute.

[Brett Vesely]

Thank you. Very good at this. Yeah. So. But yeah. You got a side by side. Are you riding the bottom of it?

[Josh Blue]

Yeah, I. I do the in the back. The dump part.

[Byron]

You get.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. You get drug around.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Josh Blue]

Well, actually, you know, I. I want to see this.

[Brett Vesely]

But you and me driving around, I'll let you drive my car.

[Josh Blue]

No, you won't.

[Brett Vesely]

Yes, I will. I got a couple of them. All right. I'm insured. We pop you in there, we drive around you and I do karaoke. Comedian with palsy and cars. Doing karaoke. Getting coffee.

[Brady]

Let's do it with a nice cup of piping hot coffee.

[Brett Vesely]

Pipe and honcho in one hand.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Pipe and honcho in one hand, I love my life. In the other, maybe

[Josh Blue]

a big bowl of soup.

[Brady]

Oh, even better.

[Brett Vesely]

Good road food. Oh, man. I didn't even think of this because it's insensitive. But since you're here and you're started it.

[Josh Blue]

Oh, yeah. Cuz it's.

[Brett Vesely]

That's why I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't. You know me, Josh. You know me. I would never think of. Of. Of pitting palsy against palsy. But I think it's great for entertainment.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah. Yeah. No, for sure.

[Brett Vesely]

Skating around. Have you ever worn skates?

[Josh Blue]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. And how'd that go?

[Josh Blue]

No.

[Brett Vesely]

The answer is no. 1 and done.

[Josh Blue]

You know what the. The. This is the stupidest thing ever. But it was when I was a kid. It was like a camp retreat. I don't know. We went roller skating.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Josh Blue]

Big bus of kids. We get to the rink, everybody gets off the bus running to go into the rink.

[Brett Vesely]

Sure.

[Josh Blue]

And I was unconscious before I even made it into the building. You know, the double doors, the divider in the middle.

[John Holmberg]

You ran in.

[Josh Blue]

I must have ran into that. And so you have. Completely.

[Brady]

But you're running with the mob.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Not knowing.

[Josh Blue]

And I didn't even get.

[Brady]

You got center.

[Josh Blue]

I wasn't even in the building.

[Brett Vesely]

But can I ask you why your parents didn't. Why did they sign that slip to let you go on that field trip?

[Josh Blue]

You know, my parents were pretty okay with me getting hurt.

[Brady]

He was durable. They knew.

[Josh Blue]

Look at me now.

[Brett Vesely]

You can take over.

[Josh Blue]

Protect me. I'm the youngest of four, so by the time they got to me, they're like, ah, palsy.

[Brett Vesely]

Big deal. Did all the other kids, they came out already?

[Josh Blue]

They had a great time.

[Brett Vesely]

No, no, not at the thing.

[Josh Blue]

Oh, my siblings. Oh, yeah. So none of them have any disabilities, you know, that we talk about and. Oh, I'm lucky. My disability is on the outside. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Do you have a good relationship with all of them? Clearly.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah, yeah, they're good. Good folks.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. But you don't like one of them.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You have a favorite?

[Josh Blue]

No, I have. So my brother is 10 years older and he's like the smartest dude. Like, there's nothing you can ask him that he doesn't know.

[Brett Vesely]

Right.

[Josh Blue]

Like, going to a, like, trivia with him. It's the worst. They're not even done saying the answer is like 1948.

[Brady]

The master.

[Josh Blue]

Easy, easy. Rain Man.

[Brett Vesely]

So you like him?

[Josh Blue]

He's good. It's just a lot.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, you don't like him?

[Josh Blue]

No, I. I love him.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, I didn't ask that. So you don't like.

[Josh Blue]

No, but it's just like, I think he was never diagnosed with autism.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, he's got a wild case.

[Josh Blue]

I think he's just super autistic.

[Brett Vesely]

Like the Asperger's version? Like.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah, like. Like very high functioning whatever. Right. But just can't.

[Brady]

He's not Rain Man.

[Josh Blue]

Right. Like the smartest dude you'll ever meet, but also really dumb. Just because he can't like, socially put it to use.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. What does he do for a living?

[Josh Blue]

Well, he works for me right now.

[John Holmberg]

Is that right?

[Brett Vesely]

The smartest man you know is your under.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's kind of funny.

[Brady]

What department?

[Josh Blue]

He works dinners.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Josh Blue]

He makes my dinner.

[Brett Vesely]

Is that right?

[Josh Blue]

He cooks for the Me and my. He's your nutritionist and then. I wouldn't say that, but.

[Brett Vesely]

Does he live at the house? He's a house boy.

[Josh Blue]

So I have another house that he lives in and comes over and does. He packs my bag.

[Brett Vesely]

This sounds very 1840s.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

He's got a guy in the back house comes up and does some work for him and he goes back to his place. Oh, I like it.

[Josh Blue]

But he's also an editor, so he.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay.

[Josh Blue]

He works for like a publishing company.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay. So he's got another job, a real job, but he's actually your whipping boy.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah, but I'm afraid of him. So older brothers, I don't say boo.

[Brett Vesely]

Did your brothers and sisters pick on you or beat you up?

[Josh Blue]

You know? You know, being the youngest, I got away with a lot. Yeah, but they definitely did.

[Brett Vesely]

They did their work.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah, for sure. Like when I was a. Probably about nine or ten, both my sisters convinced me there's something wrong with me because I hadn't had my period. And like, they went as far as like giving me a tampon. Said like, you might want to bring this to school in case it just like pops up. And I was like, okay. And then for two weeks, I had

[Brady]

that in my backpack.

[Josh Blue]

And then my mom got a note home like, we found Josh with a tampon.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, this is your story. You're blamed it on them, but you were really wanting to run. If it. If you were my brother and I was in on this while you slept, I would have poured like red substance into your. Into your underwear.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Brett Vesely]

You woke up and it made you crazy.

[Josh Blue]

Tell mom.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Josh Blue]

Oh, yeah, they said that too. If it doesn't show up soon, you might want to tell mom about it.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, my God.

[Josh Blue]

Brutal.

[Brett Vesely]

And then how did you find out? It was all a joke.

[Josh Blue]

I'm still waiting.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Josh Blue]

Part of me is like, maybe you're pregnant.

[Brett Vesely]

You might be pregnant.

[Josh Blue]

Josh, I'm 46. I'm. I'm waiting for like, Menopause.

[Brady]

Now he flashes.

[Josh Blue]

I think I'm perimenopausal.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Oh, it happens. You get a little hot and you confused. It's hard to follow sentences. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. That's awful. I'm sorry you're going through that.

[Josh Blue]

No, that's fine, man. I'm. I'm, you know, just part of life's process.

[Brett Vesely]

That's right. That's a beautiful thing. Did you ever tell your sister. Do they still laugh at that?

[Josh Blue]

Oh, they still.

[Brett Vesely]

Because it's hilarious. I've never heard a better prank.

[Josh Blue]

Isn't that funny? Yeah, I love it. It's pretty brutal.

[Brett Vesely]

And they. Then you were hook, line, and sinker.

[Josh Blue]

Oh, I need a period.

[Brett Vesely]

You never said, like, part of me

[Josh Blue]

was, no, they can't. But why would they lie? You know? Like, I was, like, naive and stupid.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Josh Blue]

I believed it.

[Brett Vesely]

Do you remember? And I don't know why this is. Well, this is on my mind because last week I had seven days where I couldn't move because of my eye. And I realized that it's the first time. That's the longest stretch of not masturbating or ejaculating in 43 years.

[Josh Blue]

You couldn't masturbate because of your eye.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, because eye pressure. Because your heart rate goes up, and then you get eye pressure. Like, you can't bend over. You can't do anything.

[Josh Blue]

Anything Right. Whoa.

[Brett Vesely]

So I. I realized this is the longest stretch I've ever had. And then I thought back to the very first time, and, like, it would have been, like, your period. It would have been, like, a thing where it's like, what is this? Am I okay? Should I talk to someone about what just happened?

[Josh Blue]

What happened?

[Brett Vesely]

Because in the bathtub, I made these white worms. That's right. I told this to Brady. Yeah. I was in the bathtub making. Making the.

[Josh Blue]

Well, let's move on.

[Brett Vesely]

Making the ectoplasm. I've heard of white worms. Well, I was just gonna ask. Do you remember your first time doing that?

[Josh Blue]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

All right. Talk about it this last week, right after you got off.

[Josh Blue]

I have been.

[Brett Vesely]

You don't want to make it messy. Like Thousand island dressing all over the place.

[Brady]

Finally, the tampon went to use.

[Josh Blue]

I think it was like. Remember back in the day with, like, cable when you could. We didn't have the channels, like, but

[Brady]

you had to scramble it.

[Josh Blue]

The scramble one where you could see it blurry.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Josh Blue]

And it was like Cinemax or something. And I remember seeing some boobs. Boobs.

[Brett Vesely]

Weird green lopsided. But just in one spot.

[Josh Blue]

That's all it took.

[Brett Vesely]

That's all it took. That was a noise you were making a lot around the house. So nobody even.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah, let's do that again.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm gonna turn it back to that channel.

[Josh Blue]

I think it's done that 80,000 times since then.

[Brett Vesely]

I worried. Oh, I actually did the math on that. It's been 15, 460 days since my first tug.

[Josh Blue]

Really?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. And. Yeah. And I realized that time on your head. Well, I had seven days staring at the seven days I wasn't allowed to move. Move. So I had to stare at the ground for seven days. And those thoughts go through mine. So I had the phone in front of me. I'm like, how long has it been? Since March 15, 1983.

[Josh Blue]

Wow.

[Brett Vesely]

And. And so there it was. And it. And then I realized that I will never.

[Josh Blue]

So you did the math.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm on the back end of it.

[Josh Blue]

And like.

[Brett Vesely]

So I've done it at least 15,000 times.

[Josh Blue]

Right. So that's like three a day for a while.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I probably.

[Brett Vesely]

I probably hit. I bet you I'm around 30 some thousand. Wow. Pretty good.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Thanks.

[Brady]

Top that number.

[Brett Vesely]

Morning sickness. 98 KUPD.

[Phil Hanley]

All right, HMS Podcast, time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Hit up the east side to check out Josh Blue performing at the Tempe Improv downtown at Stand Up Live. It's the comedy of Phil Hanley for you this week. And up north of Desert Ridge, you got Zach rushing and Michael Loftus leading you into the weekend where you can see friend of the show, Brian and Callan on Friday and Saturday. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive.com desert ridgeimprov.com and tempeimpro.com

[Dick Toledo]

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[Brett Vesely]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Can I be part of Palsy on Ice? I've got a special trick.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah, man. Maybe another little head injury.

[Brady]

Here comes Jackman.

[Brett Vesely]

Let's do. Now, you and I hiked Camelback Mountain together in June once.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And now I want you to ride a mountain bike with me.

[Josh Blue]

No.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, man. But you were so gung ho about the whole hike in Everest.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Stuff.

[Josh Blue]

It wasn't Everest you wanted to kill.

[Dick Toledo]

That's.

[Brett Vesely]

That's your Everest man.

[Josh Blue]

It's a pa. Man's ever up there. It's Pay Man's big E. Pay Man's Biggie. That's what that is. I mean, my next book.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. It was six hours going up Camelback. You'd still be hiking if it wasn't for me.

[Josh Blue]

Well, I'd be dead.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, that's true. I forgot. That would have happened first.

[Brady]

Now, has there been a person with palsy he. Summit Kilmanjaro that you know?

[Josh Blue]

Yep.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Josh Blue]

Guy named Dumb McDonass Banner. Banner Paddock or something. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Is he an inspiration or do you consider him stupid?

[Josh Blue]

Yeah, I hate that guy.

[Brady]

Would you have done it before him or he already.

[Josh Blue]

He had already done it. I learned that he had already done it once I started training his.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, so it was just recent.

[Josh Blue]

No, he did it like. I mean. Yeah. So I don't know when he did it, but.

[Brady]

But that discouraged you a little bit. Like, why am I doing this?

[Josh Blue]

Right. Yeah. What's the.

[Brett Vesely]

My second. Yeah. Who wants to be Amelia?

[Josh Blue]

And he's more wonky than me, so I was like, oh, man.

[Brett Vesely]

So you're like a healthier version of him and you didn't do it first?

[Josh Blue]

It's just.

[Brett Vesely]

It's just.

[Josh Blue]

And he did it, and I didn't even do it.

[Brett Vesely]

No. You struggled with this one.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah, I fell down some stairs.

[Brett Vesely]

That's right.

[Josh Blue]

Yes.

[Brett Vesely]

Forgot in an apartment building. Right. You fell downstairs.

[Josh Blue]

I was actually at the comedy club in Denver. And I was surprisingly sober.

[Brett Vesely]

Did you break your pelvis?

[Josh Blue]

I cracked my. What's it called? The. Those coccyx.

[Brett Vesely]

Coccyx? Yeah. You busted your coccyx falling downstairs.

[Phil Hanley]

And you.

[Brett Vesely]

And then. And you text me immediately. I remember we were talking about that. You said, I'm out. I'm not going to climb the mountain anymore. I fell down some stairs.

[Josh Blue]

Did you ever see the. I made, like, a documentary about it. Kill him with Joshua.

[Brett Vesely]

Was any of our footage.

[Josh Blue]

I'm in it.

[Brett Vesely]

Where's my royalties?

[Josh Blue]

You're in it. I'm negative.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay. You lost some money, too.

[Brady]

You have to sign the waiver.

[Brett Vesely]

My zero is a big win.

[Josh Blue]

There's a part of you above me filming down. Yeah, you're. I'm climbing Camelback with Josh Blue and what I'm calling the worst Grinder date ever.

[Brett Vesely]

That was pretty fun. It turned out to be a pretty good grinder date.

[Josh Blue]

At the end.

[Brett Vesely]

We had a nice lunch.

[Josh Blue]

I was exhausted.

[Brett Vesely]

I could have done anything to him. He couldn't move. Josh Blues at the Tempe Improv Tonight, Tomorrow and Saturday, tempeimprov.com if you want to go. You've written a book. You brought it with you.

[Josh Blue]

What did you.

[Brett Vesely]

What is your book about? Me? It's called Something to Stare At At.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

You look very Mark Twain. It's a great. That's a great picture.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah. So basically it's just autobiography about. You know, I was.

[Brady]

A lot of pictures.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah, pictures and big font.

[Brett Vesely]

I gotta tell you, Josh, you and I looked an awful lot alike in the third grade. If that's a picture of you in third grade.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Let me see that again. I'm not kidding. Geez, that's weird.

[Josh Blue]

Oh, my brother.

[Brett Vesely]

I might have looked at that and thought it was me. I'm not kidding. We had the same. This is where you really look alike.

[Brady]

Like in a.

[Brett Vesely]

In a weird cage. Yeah. When we were both caged as children.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Josh Blue]

So basically, it's just my story. You know, I think people, you know, have seen me on the TV and all this stuff I've done, but they don't really realize I was born in Africa. Yeah. I was born in Cameroon. I used to live in Senegal. I speak French and Wolof.

[Brady]

And you said Your dad speaks 13 languages?

[Josh Blue]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. What did your dad do, too?

[Josh Blue]

He was a professor. Language professor. French and Italian mainly.

[Brady]

But he dated Rosetta Stone.

[Byron]

Was he.

[Brett Vesely]

Was he did. Was he born here? Yeah, he's born and then moved to Senegal to. For a job.

[Josh Blue]

Obviously it was Like a. Like a exchange program for professors.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, cool.

[Josh Blue]

They sent one to his college and he went to there.

[Brett Vesely]

And he took his pregnant wife to Senegal.

[Josh Blue]

Well, she wasn't pregnant at the time.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, he knocked her up inside?

[Josh Blue]

Well, no, in Cameroon.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, okay.

[Josh Blue]

I was born again.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, yeah, that's right. You went back for Senegal.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah. Okay. I was 15 when I was in Senegal.

[Brett Vesely]

Okay. And then you came out in Senegal and lived your first year or two there.

[Josh Blue]

No, Cameroon.

[Brett Vesely]

Or Cameroon. I keep saying. And then you came back. I'm not smart enough to follow this. I'm never going.

[Josh Blue]

So two different places.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, he was a toddler in Cameroon. I hate to say it, but I think they look exactly the same to me. So then you come back to the States.

[Josh Blue]

Yep.

[Brett Vesely]

And you move to Colorado or something?

[Josh Blue]

No, Minnesota. Okay, so Cameroon to Minnesota. Minnesota to Senegal.

[Brett Vesely]

Natural progression.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Same climate, very similar climates. It's hard to know you're where when one stops and one begins, the only

[Josh Blue]

thing in common is mosquitoes.

[Brett Vesely]

And then you went back to Senegal as an adult.

[Josh Blue]

Yep.

[Brett Vesely]

And how was that?

[Josh Blue]

That was awesome.

[Brett Vesely]

You like Senegal?

[Josh Blue]

I do. That's. Well, there's a big portion of the book is about my time in Africa because when I was in college, I did an internship in a zoo in Senegal and I was there for three months. And there's a whole thing about me being animal on display in the zoo. I had them locked me in a cage for an entire day next to a 400 pound gorilla.

[Brett Vesely]

Why? Were you a hostage or were you actually working?

[Brady]

Experiment.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah, it was like a social experiment.

[Brett Vesely]

Interesting. And people came by to see the.

[Josh Blue]

They said it was the busiest day of the zoo they've ever had to see you. Yeah. And they said. And it was before cell phones.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[Josh Blue]

So people must have been leaving the zoo, going and being like, hey man, you gotta come see this thing.

[Brady]

Have you seen the albino silver back?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah, it was the. It was the initial. Like you went viral before. There wasn't.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah, totally. And they were. They called me the Boo Boo monkey.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know, that's probably bad.

[Josh Blue]

It was monkey.

[Brett Vesely]

And so they'd never seen like a white man in a cage before.

[Josh Blue]

Like.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the drill.

[Josh Blue]

Well, I was only wearing shorts. Oh, God. Barefoot, no shirt. I'm a real hairy guy. And if you take the palsy out of context, they didn't know what the hell.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, they weren't told.

[Josh Blue]

They weren't.

[Brett Vesely]

So they just thought you were. You thought you were a primate.

[Josh Blue]

Right. So. Oh, so then like the Zookeepers came up with this whole scenario. They said they captured me in the mountains of the Congo. There was like a whole. It was like.

[Brady]

Like a state fair.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah, yeah. People were like, like. And they showed up and people were like throwing bananas to me. No kidding. I mean it's all in the book.

[Brett Vesely]

Were you laughing?

[Josh Blue]

I was. I had studied. Like.

[Brady]

You stayed in character?

[Josh Blue]

Yeah, I didn't talk at all and I just made grunting noises and like. Cuz I've been working with a gorilla.

[Brady]

You throw poo at him or anything?

[Josh Blue]

Not my poo, but.

[Brett Vesely]

Right. Yeah. That's classless. Did you groom each other in the.

[Josh Blue]

Well, the thing is, when you share a wall of bars with a 400 pound gorilla, it's hor.

[Brett Vesely]

I can't imagine that that was in.

[Josh Blue]

Well, I became one of three people in the world that could pet that. That gorilla. It was amazing, really. But they had a siesta there where they take a three hour break during the hottest part of the day. And I chose to stay in the cage with the gorilla. Well, I mean.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean you had a bar between.

[Josh Blue]

But still bars between us, but.

[Brady]

So there was a shift before that they would trade out guys like you'd have. There'd be another guy that come in and do the same thing, the bobo monkey.

[Josh Blue]

So then only one bobo monkey. So then all the zookeepers went on break and left me in the zoo alone. And I was in there and I heard metal bending and I look over and the gorillas wrapped his hands around the door between the two cages and he's like peeling it back. I'm like, oh, this is not gonna end well. They're gonna come back in a couple hours. I'm gonna be in pieces. So then for three hours I just like played with the gorilla running back

[Brett Vesely]

and forth and like pissing him off.

[Josh Blue]

Just distracting him from the door, bending that door.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh my. Is that in the book?

[Josh Blue]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh my God, Josh, that's horrifying.

[Josh Blue]

That's cool.

[Brett Vesely]

And then. But see, I don't think that you were being treated nicely. I think that. Well, I think they were being mean to you.

[Josh Blue]

No, no.

[Brady]

It doesn't sound real nice.

[Josh Blue]

No, I made all these decisions. They were like, are you sure you want to stay in here?

[Brady]

Just don't forget about me.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And they did.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Just leave him.

[Brett Vesely]

We will be back in a minute, Josh. Wow. Yeah. And did they throw money or anything at you? Get any cash for this?

[Josh Blue]

Just a lot of peanuts.

[Brett Vesely]

Just peanuts? You got a lot of peanuts?

[Josh Blue]

Yeah. Fruits. It Was the best. I ate the whole time was.

[Brett Vesely]

What do you want people to take away from your book?

[Josh Blue]

The book joshblue.com so if you get on joshua.com I will sign it and put the send it to you. Okay. Well, that's the downside. I also mail it. Oh, it's going to be late.

[Brett Vesely]

So you promise that there won't be a timely delivery?

[Josh Blue]

No. Guarantee it will not be there.

[Brett Vesely]

Josh will hand delivery. He'll walk it to your home. So you'll get it sometime before 2031

[Brady]

if you want it for St. Patty's Day. It's going to be tight.

[Josh Blue]

Well, I mean, Christmas is pushing it.

[Brett Vesely]

Wow. I want to read that. Josh Blue.

[Josh Blue]

You can read.

[Brett Vesely]

No, I haven't read too. I've got people for that.

[Brady]

Do you have an audiobook?

[Josh Blue]

Not yet.

[Brett Vesely]

You're gonna do it?

[Josh Blue]

Well, once I learn to read, can

[Brett Vesely]

I read your audiobook?

[Josh Blue]

That would be great.

[Brett Vesely]

I have a lovely voice. Well, you don't trust me. I'll just read the words. What do you think I'm gonna do?

[Josh Blue]

Dropping some C words?

[Brett Vesely]

You know, I might. Are there C words in it?

[Josh Blue]

No.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, that's what's missing. That's why it's not selling. It is selling.

[Josh Blue]

It's a good book.

[Brett Vesely]

I mean, it wouldn't be here, here hucking away for that if it was a flying off the shelves.

[Josh Blue]

I just came to talk to you guys.

[Brett Vesely]

That's exactly right. And we appreciate that. I always like having Joshua. Well, I want that book. I want to read your book. For a book on.

[Josh Blue]

I'll leave it here for you guys,

[Brett Vesely]

and then I'll read it and I'll send it to you and you can

[Josh Blue]

come back and then I'll.

[Brett Vesely]

And then you can say. Well, then you can say the audiobook. I'll do it with a British accent or something.

[Josh Blue]

All right, let's hear it.

[Brett Vesely]

Let me. Give me a page.

[Brady]

Give me your book.

[Brett Vesely]

Let me read Josh Blue. Something to stare at. And it's chapter one. Now I'm gonna read the forward. Nobody ever reads that. Is the Palsy Punch. Chapter one.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

And we need, like, a little, like, music behind it or something. Like a little soft. I don't know, like something. The Palsy Punch. I was apprehensive. It was my first day at junior high school, and up until that point, my peers were disabled kids. And we rode the short bus. Huh.

[Josh Blue]

That's pretty good.

[Brett Vesely]

Strong. Seawood. Seawood.

[Brady]

Seawood.

[Brett Vesely]

Now I was moving on. Just throw those in there. My nickname was the C word, the crooked C word, the limping C word and. Yeah, see, I'm good at this. I can read your. It's a big book, though. I don't know if I could.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah, a lot of pages. I don't think you have the. There's pictures.

[Brett Vesely]

There's that gorilla.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah, that's that gorilla.

[Brady]

What was the gorilla's name, dear?

[Josh Blue]

Pacola.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, man. All right. I have something to stare at. By the great Josh Blue. An author, an actor, a comedian, an entrepreneur, a philanthropist.

[Josh Blue]

Oh, can I tell you what I bought?

[Brett Vesely]

Yes.

[Josh Blue]

Crazy. I was so excited.

[Brett Vesely]

Brad's gonna get mad at you, you know.

[Josh Blue]

You know, I don't drive. And most like successful people buy like a nice sports car. So what I bought instead was excavator.

[Brett Vesely]

What in the world. You're gonna dig stuff.

[Josh Blue]

I bought a full on excavator. Like a Cabot.

[Brady]

Like a.

[Dick Toledo]

Like a bobcat.

[Brett Vesely]

Big one.

[Josh Blue]

Like the.

[Brady]

Like with the cage on it.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah. And the one that just Because. Well, because I have that land in the mountains.

[Brett Vesely]

Might as well wreck it.

[Josh Blue]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Moving some stuff.

[Josh Blue]

Moving rocks around. Like. Not like a bobcat, but like one with the big boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Digging the hole with the thumb on it so I could pick a boulder. I'm having so much fun. It's like the best thing I've ever done.

[Brett Vesely]

Sounds awesome.

[Josh Blue]

Everyone's like, you bought a what?

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah. That's pretty. How much are those?

[Josh Blue]

A lot.

[Brett Vesely]

What, like 100 grand?

[Josh Blue]

No, not that much.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, okay. Well, that's a lot to me.

[Josh Blue]

Oh, well, that's.

[Brett Vesely]

Whatever's a lot to you. You'll get there someday. Keep working. Keep working, kid. Maybe you'll sell this book. I'll get you some more. Josh has to go because he's got to go do channel 10 now, which is a waste of time. Something to stare at is the book. Do you want the book for visual reasons for Channel 10?

[Josh Blue]

Well, are you coming back? Can we hang out this weekend? Sure. Got something else to do?

[Brett Vesely]

I got.

[Brady]

Take the book.

[Brett Vesely]

You take this. Yeah. Cuz you've only got the one.

[Josh Blue]

I'll. I'll give it to you.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, that's a deal. Give me a used book discount.

[Josh Blue]

I'll meet you on Camelback.

[Brett Vesely]

We'll walk it out. We'll pass it like drums Broke back, Camel back. We'll do it. Josh Blue at the Tempe Improv. Always a pleasure.

[Josh Blue]

So you guys are the best.

[Brett Vesely]

Leave us with words of wisdom quickly. You've got to run.

[Josh Blue]

I don't know Perfect.

[Brett Vesely]

That's exactly right. It's not.

[Byron]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

[Brady]

It's Brady for Game Day Men's Health, the Valley's largest men's health clinic with 12 locations. You should schedule a complimentary appointment today. Go to gamedaymen's health.com Every location has a cool man cave environment. You'll sit down with a board certified medical director and figure out what treatments that can help you. They have an on site lab and you will know what your testosterone level is during your first meeting. Do what thousands of Phoenix area men are doing by going to gamedaymenshealth.com and schedule your complimentary appointment. You got to get back in the game with game day men's health.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here. Time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug hopkins.com I got an email from someone who told me that he wants to sell his house because he has to move for work. Got a new job and it starts in February so he needs to vacate quickly. And in this particular case, this guy can leave Arizona with cash from his home and be free and clear to start anew in his next location. That is peace of mind no matter what the situation. Doug makes selling your house so easy it's hard to imagine going anywhere else and he backs it up with a $5,000 guarantee. Start the process at Doug Hopkins.com or

[Brett Vesely]

grab that phone and Hopkins 1-800-sale now.