02-26-26 - Metallica Contest Is Going Nuts - Real ID And Traffic Cams Have John Ranting - Catherine Emails Angry At Us For Our Rachel Comments Yesterday - Winter Olympics Set Viewing Records And Went Through Record Number Of Condoms

Summary

---

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98KUPD)

Episode Date: February 26, 2026
Main Hosts: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Main Topics: Metallica Contest, Real ID and Traffic Cameras Rant, Listener Emails (Rachel & Catherine), Winter Olympics Stats & Cultural Shifts

---

Episode Overview

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness dives into the overwhelming response to their exclusive Metallica contest, John’s passionate issues with the new Real ID regulations and revived Phoenix traffic cameras, listener backlash over past comments on restless leg syndrome and body shaming, and a tongue-in-cheek look at sex culture in the Olympic Village and how pop culture is influencing sexual trends, especially among women. Expect unfiltered, irreverent banter, candid stories, and the show’s signature willingness to lampoon listeners and societal shifts alike.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Metallica Contest Frenzy

• [01:34–05:58]
  • The team is shocked at the “ridiculous” volume of entries for their Metallica Sphere contest.
  • Contest prize includes tickets to two unique Metallica concerts at the Sphere in Las Vegas (first and third shows), hotel stays, and $200 in gas – deliberately avoiding airfare to sidestep “felon” no-fly problems.
  • Both shows feature different setlists: “It’s all one show in two nights. Like a Tarantino thing — Kill Bill 1 and 2.” (John, [04:36])
  • John humorously pities recipients bombarded by friends texting them the contest word every hour.

2. Stories from the Listener Buses

• [06:01–08:48]
  • Hilarious war stories about past bus trips with listeners to shows (“terrible, terrible idea” – John).
  • Brady’s misadventure driving an inebriated listener home, who accused him of rape (“You’re not going to pull over and rape me, are you?” – unruly listener, [06:51]).
  • Multiple tales involving vomiting listeners and nightmarish return trips — “vortex puke” and listeners left napping in the bus luggage bay.

3. John's Rant: Real ID & Traffic Cameras

• [09:48–13:43]
  • John rails against “lies” behind the Real ID and recently reinstated Phoenix traffic cameras, insisting it’s all about money, not “your safety.”
  • Quote: “It’s the same ID. Nothing’s changed. They put a sticker on it like you’re in kindergarten. That’s it.” (John, [09:56])
  • “We haven’t had a slew of kids mashing into kids at school zones… zero statistics. So where’s the safety coming in?” (John, [11:06])
  • Riffs on how old people (especially “old bitties”/“Karens”) call cops to complain about “speeders,” and the police hate taking these calls.
  • Extended analogy about speed zone signs being based on school type and student “skeletal mass” (Brett, [11:34]).

4. Listener Emails: Rachel and Catherine Outrage

• [16:34–27:23]
  • Addressing backlash from prior comments about “restless leg syndrome” and criticizing a listener named Rachel, accused of being "fat and gross."
  • Emails from other listeners — one claims Rachel left work “distraught” and is considering legal action, but the hosts show no remorse.
  • Catherine writes in to complain: “Your DJs are disgusting and not funny. I failed to see how making fun of people’s weight… is good in the most degrading way… what does that have to do with music?” ([19:58])
  • The crew double down, with John declaring: “If you want to come after me, I’ll come back. Rachel, Catherine… and you’re listening.” ([21:27])

5. Mockery, Burned Bridges, & Fat-Shaming Escalation

• [17:19–35:32]
  • Numerous fat jokes and references (“sloppy legs,” “Rachel the Hutt,” “herd mentality”), with the crew reading and riffing on listener emails.
  • Speculate that “Catherine is Rachel’s burner account that Tubby is trying to make it look like she has friends.” (Toledo, [25:03])
  • A listener proposes naming the wildlife zoo’s new pygmy hippo “Rachel Catherine.” ([27:23])
  • Quote: “Imagine trying to tranquilize an elephant with Tylenol… thousands of them first. Rachel’s probably a little bigger than Babar.” (John, [25:52])

6. Olympics Success & Condom Shortage

• [37:19–41:47]
  • Winter Olympics set TV ratings records: “Averaging 21 million viewers a night… humongous for network television.” (John, [37:19])
  • 10,000 condoms given to the Olympic Village ran out fast: “The sex was unreal at the Olympics.” (John, [38:43])
  • Humor at “heated rivalry” and rise of “hookup culture”—especially referencing a new, wildly popular show about gay hockey players that’s captured the female imagination.

7. Heated Rivalry, Lady Porn, and Gender Discomfort

• [41:47–52:39]
  • The crew discusses how “heated rivalry” (show about gay hockey players) is generating conversation and sexual energy among women—“Ladies are just squirting all over this thing.” (John, [47:13])
  • Parallels between "old lady porn" (Bridgerton, 50 Shades of Grey, Heated Rivalry) and “guy porn,” riffing on who finds what attractive/disgusting.
  • Unapologetic about not sharing in the “lady porn” enthusiasm: “Enjoy your heated rivalry and don’t try to drag us into it.” (John, [51:02])
  • Many jokes about hair, body maintenance, and body image double standards.

8. Pop Culture, Historical Revisionism, and Sports

• [52:39–55:01]
  • Quick rants on shows like Bridgerton—historical inaccuracy and race-blind casting frustrate John (“If I was black, I would boycott this show… you cast a white man to play Jackie Robinson?”).
  • Analogies to sports history, like the Cubs and Dexter Fowler in throwback uniforms (“1934 wool Cubs outfit; Dexter, you’re a pioneer.” [54:47])

---

Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• Metallica Contest Response:
  “The response to this Metallica thing is ridiculous. Numbers are every—I'm like, it’s crazy.” —John ([01:35])
• “No repeats” at Metallica Sphere:
  “No repeats. The second night is an extension of the first concert. You’re not going to hear the same thing.” —Brett ([05:01])
• On Real ID:
  “It’s the same ID. They put a sticker on it like you’re in kindergarten.” —John ([09:56])
• Speed Cameras and School Zone Rant:
  “We have had… zero people mashing into kids at school zones. So, where’s the safety?” —John ([11:06])
• Listener Fat Shaming:
  “Rachel’s still fat and gross. There’s no question. I’m not laying off that.” —John ([17:15])
• Mocking Listener Outrage:
  “If you want to come after me, I’ll come back. Rachel, Catherine… and you’re listening.” —John ([21:27])
• Naming the Zoo Hippo:
  “Isn’t the wildlife zoo looking for a name for the new pygmy? Yeah. Rachel… middle name Catherine.” —Brady ([27:23])
• Olympics Condom Famine:
  “10,000 condoms were supplied and they were gone fast. The sex was unreal at the Olympics.” —John ([38:43])
• On “Heated Rivalry” Show:
  “Ladies are just squirting all over the place watching the show.” —John ([47:13])
• Bridgerton Riff:
  “If I was black, I would boycott this show. This just… skirted history.” —John ([53:48])

---

Important Timestamps

• 01:34: Metallica contest response and explanation
• 04:36: Details about Metallica contest and Sphere concerts
• 06:51: Story: Listener drunkenness and wild bus ride
• 09:48: Start of Real ID & traffic camera rant
• 11:27: Breaking down the “safety” argument & old lady complaints
• 16:34: Rachel email outrage begins
• 19:58: Catherine’s critical email read and roasted
• 27:23: Hippo-naming and fat jokes escalation
• 37:19: Olympics TV ratings and condom saga
• 41:47: Heated Rivalry and “lady porn” segment starts
• 53:48: Bridgerton and historic anachronisms, further pop culture riffing

---

Tone and Language

• Unfiltered, biting, and heavy with inside jokes and abrasive humor.
• John's rants are relentless, mocking both bureaucratic systems and thin-skinned listeners.
• The group’s banter is intentionally provocative, drawing humor from exaggerated stereotypes, self-deprecation, and boundary-pushing commentary.

---

Takeaway For Listeners

This episode is a fast-moving blend of hardcore local radio energy, crowd-trolling, pop culture ridicule, and wild personal anecdotes. If you’re easily offended, the hosts would challenge you to tune out, but the loyal audience—clearly as irreverent as the show itself—keeps feeding the fire, fueling segments that are as much about audience pushback as the original “content.” The cast relishes their role as “entertain, question, and disturb”—and in this episode, they do all three with gusto.

---

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories.

[B]

It's John Holmer here from the morning sickness, and I've got a new friend I'm fired up to tell you about Modern Resolution Windows and Doors. And I'm genuinely excited to tell you that these guys are good. Locally owned, licensed, bonded, insured, custom windows and doors made in America with a lifetime guarantee, free labor on six or more units. Mention Holmberg, and you'll get an extra 500 bucks off modern Resolution Windows and Doors, my new find and your home's new upgrade, free in home consultations. All you got to do is call, text or book online@modern resolution.com. give them a call. 480-665-5732.

[A]

Hey, it's Brett Vesely, and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[C]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into M and P Guns, where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[A]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[C]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it all online. That simple.

[A]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[B]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to the Holmberg's Morning sickness podcast. It is 5:45. My name's John. There's Brett, there's Brady. I skipped you. Did I skip you? Is it Bretton Brady and then Toledo? Sorry about that.

[D]

Interchangeable bees.

[B]

I got one eye. What are you gonna do when I really can't see everybody? Yeah, it's a glorious day. You guys are like, the response to this Metallica thing is ridiculous. Numbers are every. I'm like, it's crazy. Larry and I were looking yesterday. I'm like, my God. For people who didn't.

[E]

He told us a couple.

[B]

And for people who didn't know a contest was about to happen, for you guys to respond the way you did to our Metallica sphere contest is insane. The podcast is succeeding. I will tell you, that old radio thing that died a long Time ago, thanks to radio executives. But today the podcast is. It's going. And at six o', clock, I'm going to give you another word you guys can do. And I actually do got a couple of emails from people who said, I took your advice and got that text thread going. And we got everything rolling with that. And I've got 15 people that I text the word to every hour. That has got to be wildly annoying to the people getting the text who don't listen to this because we go all the way to 9 o'.

[E]

Clock.

[B]

I was listening to Jeff last night on the way back from dinner and it was right around nine and he's like, got. Got the next word coming up. I'm like, we do this till nine. Those poor. That's. Look, God damn it. Again, that's texting me. So it's pretty. It's pretty awesome. Now the, the problem is that the podcast, you can listen to it anytime you want. You can't participate. So there is a benefit now to listening live during the, you know, the taping of the podcast here live that we do on FM radio that you remember that it used to be a thing got ruined. I will point that out over and over, that that got ruined by radio executives across the board not focusing on anything viable. I'll say it every day until someone says, you got to stop saying that. And then I'll say it more. But anyway, so it's awesome. You guys are really kicking a whole bunch of butt on that thing. So six o', clock, I'll give you another. I'll give you another word and we'll start that whole process again. Some of you saying, what's John talking about? I was asleep yesterday. I didn't put. We've got a hell of a thing we're handing out. It's probably in here somewhere. But we are giving you a chance to disappear to the sphere. That's what it's called. Metallica announced yesterday, along with, you know, nationally, internationally, that they are going to have a little residency, a small residency at Sphere in Las Vegas. And we here at CUPD, celebrating 25 years of the podcast, got in great with the guys who run Metallica's operation. And I'll never, I'll never not say, as Aaron from Q Prime is the guy who called, said, hey, I want to give you guys something specific. It was awesome. Larry worked. This, worked magic with his relationship with this guy.

[E]

We are.

[B]

I don't think anybody else in the country got this the way we got it. They might have A little thing here and there where they're giving away. This is ours and. And it's pretty awesome. So they're gonna play the Sphere and Metallica in October and we're gonna send you guys to not only a show, but the very first and second show. You get tickets to both of the first two shows. First and third, we're gonna get you in a hotel, see two of eight shows. And here's the thing, Brady. Each show is different. Each one is a different set list. So you go to show one and it's all one show in two nights. So it's almost like a Quentin Tarantino thing. They got like Kill Bill 1 and Kill Bill 2. You got. It's two different shows. They're not running the same thing twice. So, man, this is awesome. This is similar to what they did here.

[A]

No repeats.

[B]

No repeats. The second night is an extension of the first concert. You're not going to hear the same thing. A little disappointing if you only get one that you might not have been to the night they did. My. My personal odd favorite of Metallica's, which is nobody's favorite, but mine. Said but true. I don't know why that one hits me so hard. I love that song and I think I got the night they did it and I just loved it. And I'm like, man, if I'd have gone if I went to both. But like, it was pretty awesome. And they do it again. So Metallica disappear to the Sphere and at 6 o' clock we'll give you more. I'm excited about this. And I don't even get to play. This is awesome. So from 6 until 10 o', clock, you'll have opportunities to do this in each hour. We'll give you. And also get $200 in fuel. Gas. We'll get you in gas. We didn't want to put you on an airplane just in case some of you felons want. And then we had to deal with like no fly lists and all sorts of legalities. All felons can drive. I don't know if you can cross state lines, but that's your cross to bear. We don't have to deal with any of that.

[E]

Maybe next time we can put a bus together.

[B]

No, Brady, they do. They have those all the time. The prison bus.

[E]

We should run one to Vegas.

[A]

We should say who's going on that one?

[B]

Oh, not me. Brady and I did the bus every once in a while in Brady's car. And then Brady, we rode with a couple. Well, we rode with A couple until we didn't. And then once we realized, I don't need to be on this bus. And then Brady took a lady home, and she tried to accuse him of rape. Wow. You didn't know that one?

[A]

No.

[B]

We went down to Tucson and this lady got drunk, real drunk. Brady's like, I'll get you home. Brady didn't want to be there, so he had followed the bus drunk.

[E]

She forgot her.

[B]

She was also really drunk because we met earlier at the bar. We were at the Vine. We had a little pre party and she was drunk there and then forgot her meds, which were. The alcohol was making her go loopy in the car back with Brady because he was a nice guy and decided to drive her all the way home from Tucson. She looks at him and says, you're not gonna pull over in the desert

[F]

and rape me, are you? Hadn't thought about it till now.

[B]

So Brady tells that story. But the truth of the matter.

[E]

Oh, look, there's a DQ brazier right there.

[B]

Brady raped a burger on the way. Should have left her there. I drove back once with one of the promo guys that wouldn't stop listening to death metal at peak volume in the KUPD van. And then we took a listener who was so drunk back that she started to throw up in the car. And for whatever reason, this dude would not roll the windows in the front up. And I'm in the back. It wasn't cold or anywhere. It was just annoying to go all the way from Tucson to Phoenix with the windows down in this just. And she threw up in the car. And as she threw up, it just vortexed in a volcano. It was a tornado of puke in the center over the. And I'm just watching this thing spin going, where's that going to? It's like a roulette wheel. Where is that going to land? Then I just kind of ducked down and it hit the driver. I forget his name. Little Mexican kid. He was. He was actually really fun. But he liked his style of music way too much. It was terrible. And he just. And that KPD van had such a

[D]

huge system, like Marcus's music type thing.

[C]

Beyond.

[B]

I don't even know where this guy found it. It was like hobos scratching cats. It was just horrible. And then this lady just started barfing. And I. That. I've never seen barf do that. And that was because the windows were down. We're going 90 miles an hour. And he didn't ever turn it down. He's like, whoa. Like, this is Terrible. And vortex puke in the center. And I'm laying in the back and I'm like, I'm never getting on this bus or driving back with any of these knobs again.

[E]

I remember the one show on the bus, one of the listeners just couldn't. Went too deep, which. And took a little nappy. And we went to the show and the bus driver's like, well, we'll just keep him in the luggage bay.

[B]

Oh, yeah, we stuffed him in the bus.

[E]

He slept there the whole time.

[B]

Yeah. Our former friend, the late Freddy, years ago, Freddie was with us, and he fell down. Well, I don't know why we took him, but he fell down. He was. It wasn't.

[E]

Never forget that sound.

[B]

Massive head trauma already Freddy had. And then the sound of Freddie hitting the ground and every. He was so dirty, like Pig Pen dirty, that as he lay dying and we all looked at him going, that's not going to. That his head hit real hard. And it was not good to start with that everyone just kind of let him lay there. Nobody. Nobody really doing. I'm not touching that. Even the MTs went by and went, nah, he can go. They would just let him go. It wasn't even a thing. So no Brady to the bus idea? No, we've been through that enough and it is a terrible, terrible idea. So we'll figure out other stuff. But prison bus, that's the. That's still gonna meet you there? Yeah, we'll meet you there. I'll JSX up because I don't have any. I don't have an F because We've learned the F4. Yeah, I'm not. I don't have any of that. I ain't got a felony, so I don't have to deal with that. I don't have one of those real IDs, but I'm willing to pay the 40 bucks to get them off my ass. Again. The real ID is two things they keep saying to you that are lies. And here we go.

[F]

Fat, fat, turning fat, getting red. And every time you hear the word they're. They're helping you. They're doing it for safety.

[B]

They're lying. It's for money. Real IDs, for your safety. It's the same ID. Nothing changed. They put. They put a sticker on it like you're in kindergarten. That's it.

[E]

You get your gold star.

[B]

That's it. The traffic cameras that are now up again in Phoenix, they went back and forth. And we'll let them vote on it in October. In the meantime, let's do it. Everything I'm being told and shown on the news is, well, it's for the safety of the people. We haven't had a whole, like, slew of speeding, like, deaths. The one thing they said, it's like school zones. We have to put them in school zones because it's hard to go 15 miles an hour. Right. Even like at 11:30 in the morning when there are no kids out, but they're still in the school zone. Everybody goes about 22. It's hard to slow down to 15. And real. Jesus, 15 slow. And I do it because I respect the school zone, but they get, like a real low tolerance for that. So they'll give you a ticket of three miles an hour over. So you're going 18, tell me what, 18 miles an hour. I can go on 18 on a bike. And they're like, it's for the kids. Safety. We have had, by the way, passing to zero people mashing into kids at school zones. There's, like no statistics of it. So where's the safety coming in? If it happened, it was truly an accident. Like, you know, nobody just going beer just blowing through there. There's. It's zero. What do we. What's the need for the. Oh, it's also 85 bucks for every old person that gets a ticket. Oh, it's about safety. You're being lied to.

[F]

Telling you right now it's about the gay frogs. It's nothing to do with safety. Brett, where are the men?

[E]

Where.

[F]

Remember when you were a kid and they just put up speed limit signs based on your size? Elementary schools were 15. Junior highs were 25. High schools were 35 because you could take a punch. As you got bigger, people were allowed to drive faster around you because you could take a hit. Your skeletal mass was better.

[E]

I remember when moved out here in the 90s and you go through that high school zone, they said 35.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Wow, that's pretty lenient.

[F]

That's what I said, Brady, 35. Your skeletal mass can take the punch. High school, they encourage you to go 30 for college. You can go 80 and take those whores out. What happened to the people?

[B]

I am. I'm turning into him. I'm watching the news last night. I don't know how many times I looked at it, went, bull. What's this bull? It's for your safety. We have zero statistics. Like, consistent statistics. Have to be consistent. I'll get an email going, there was an accident. That's an outlier consistency. There's None. And there's one. And then there's an average. And the average is nothing. Like, nobody's getting run over by these.

[E]

They'll get the research from the company that wants to put the equipment in. Exactly.

[B]

And the other thing was that the cop they had on TV saying that these speed cameras have to be out. We get so many calls every day from people from neighborhoods saying we've just got speeders all over our neighborhood. I'm like, you know who those people are? Those old bitties have nothing to do that stare out their window and they don't like any cars going by their house. Another one blazing barcode. And you know who you talk to about that? Who hates it? The police dispatch. Police officers who hate that. Old ladies call. You call us every day about speeders. There's no problem. But now they're. They're turning that and using it. We need it. We get all these calls for speeding. No, you get a bunch of old ladies with their heads plastered to their window because their lives inside their house fell apart 35 years ago right after menopause. They just went bananas. And then 35 years of that staring out windows and telling everybody else they suck morning sickness.

[G]

Well, it's now the NBA's time to shine. For us Suns fans, that means fast breaks and buzzer beaters are front and center. It's Dick Toledo for underdog, the app where picking the NBA can score you 5,000 times your money. And playing on underdog is so easy. Just pick a players will go higher or lower on their stats. And here's a sneaky good play I like. Take Grayson Allen higher on three point attempts and Mark Williams higher on rebound. But whatever the stat line you like, Underdog's got it. So play on Underdog with me and download the app today and use promo code HMS to score $75 in bonus entries. When you play your first $5 underdog make picks win money must be 18 plus, 19 plus in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 plus in Colorado for some games, 21 plus in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia. And present in a state where underdog fantasy operates, terms apply. Concerned with your play, call 1-800-MY-RESET or 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org Arizona 1-800-Next Step 1-800-639-8783 or step to 53342 New York. Call the 24.7Hope Line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text Hope NY to 467369.

[H]

All right, HMS Podcast time again to Let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week, hit up the east side to check out Josh Blue performing at the Tempe Improv downtown at Stand Up Live. It's the comedy of Phil Hanley for you this week. And up north of Desert Ridge, you got Zach Rushing and Michael Loftus leading you into the weekend where you can see friend of the show Brian Callan on Friday and Saturday. For the complete lineups and for t, go to standuplive.com Desert Ridge, improv.com and

[B]

tempyimprov.com Holg's Morning Sickness.

[D]

Mrs. Kramer can't drive anyway, so. Doesn't matter.

[B]

She can't. She's just mad that she can't speed. She can't. Nobody allows her to drive anymore.

[D]

Call, dial, ride, and shut them.

[B]

She's got to wait for her daughter or son to show up once every couple weeks to see if she's still alive. Then I end up with a Nancy Guthrie situation. We haven't talked to mom.

[E]

And what they do, sometimes you have it in your neighborhood. In some areas, they start complaining about, okay, we'll put the speed bumps in.

[B]

Yeah. And then the streets.

[E]

Now you got a street with those.

[B]

And I drive a Jeep and a Bronco. It's fun for me. I hate the people that.

[E]

The lady that's complaining all of a sudden, now she doesn't have to drive.

[B]

She never has to go over. And besides, a speed bump to a woman that complains about speeding in her neighborhood is a wall. They go five miles an hour anyway, the speed bump, their car's gonna back up. So all that safety talk and all that nonsense. Don't get me started. They school. So thank you anyway. And then. Then, you know, you. Some of y' all just do the show for us. Rachel, yesterday, if you were listening, a lady named Rachel called up and by the way, and Richard, I started wondering because I kind of glossed over it. She was complaining about me saying something about restless leg syndrome being fake.

[E]

Did you.

[B]

I didn't even ask what. What ran. Cause it had to be on the best of. Did we do something where I mentioned restless leg syndrome? Yeah, you went on a rant. You played that

[G]

15 years ago.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I've been. It's been fake the whole time.

[E]

So any given time when we first heard it, probably.

[B]

Oh, it's.

[E]

It.

[B]

Look, it's never been a real thing.

[G]

Right. And that's been your stance the whole time.

[B]

Yeah. It's always been something where you're Just a little. You're restless. That's not a disease.

[E]

It's just.

[B]

You're not.

[G]

Your mind is sure and you're. We've all transferring it to other parts of your body.

[B]

We're twitchy. So you did run some. Because I started thinking yesterday. I'm like that's.

[G]

I've played that a couple times.

[B]

Maybe this broad heard it somewhere else and then blame me. But okay, so fair enough. All right, back to. Rachel's still fat and gross. There's no question. I'm gonna. I'm not laying off that.

[C]

I just want to say.

[B]

Oh, you got a good complainer. I got it. I got it. I'm holding it.

[G]

Right.

[B]

So I got. I got two of them. I got this one that says I happen to know the Rachel you were talking about. We work together and she left work today because she was distraught success. Remember I said I hope she like walked into traffic and stuff but damage to the car would be astronomical.

[D]

Shane Orlando.

[B]

I said she said she's considered considering suing you in the station. Good. I listened to it. We've got 2,000

[G]

every Rachel in town.

[B]

Yeah, good. Let me get my checkbook. Rachel. You'll see zero. It says I listened to it and you wisely never even said her last name. Which is brilliant. It could be anybody. Any fat Rachel with restless legs is a target. She actually is not that awful to look at. But you were right. Her personality is garbage. She's alone for one reason. A deaf and blind man would grow sick of her crap in about one week. All she does is complain.

[E]

There's day number two. She's going home.

[B]

So she was on. She said she was on you about yesterday or she was on one about you yesterday to a co worker. Deep down I think she liked the attention. Signed Roger, which is not my name, but I'm a coworker of fat Rachel and her sloppy legs and I don't want to get fired. So we get that one right.

[G]

If her type 5 starts with restless leg syndrome and doesn't get better.

[B]

Nobody wants to hear your problem.

[E]

Tight.

[D]

I don't think she's got tight anymore.

[B]

Even her stories are sloppy and fat.

[G]

Even.

[B]

Even her stories are like a prime ribbage send back the middle of this might be good but I gotta get around so much. Fat Rachel's fat and disgusting. Hideous. I've never seen her.

[G]

But can she spin you into a tight five?

[B]

I get a tight five on Rachel. Sure.

[G]

Well, I know you can but if is in her story, can she spin it her attention.

[B]

Yeah, no, no, I'm not gonna listen to the first minute. I got no time for that. She makes me sick. And besides that, I gotta, you know, box for a long time. So I got good head movement, but I can't dodge all those ho ho squishins that are flying out of her mouth during a story.

[E]

I'll chew the fat with her.

[B]

Of course she will. I got another one. And people just do the. Do the show for us.

[D]

That's great.

[B]

It says it's 4:34 and your DJs are disgusting and not funny. I failed to see how making fun of people's weight and joking about them having sex with overweight women is good in the most degrading way a person can talk about it. How is that funny? What does that have to do with music? It doesn't. Thank you, Catherine.

[D]

It is funny.

[B]

I thought it was hilarious. It was really funny.

[G]

You're listening at 4:34, Catherine. You chose to download the podcast and listen to it in your car or wherever.

[B]

So you found us funny before. And by the way, the podcast doesn't play music.

[G]

Right?

[B]

So another one. You. You big fat. I ain't got time for this no more. I have to go yourself. Why don't you and Rachel talk about this right before Farmer Johnson brings out the slop you two can hog together? I don't see how that's funny. You just announced yourself as uncomfortable with your own way. I was making fun of Rachel individually and not having sex with her. How you got involved is your own business. I wasn't saying, oh, there's a lot of big ladies with great attitudes who are fun. One of them emailed us yesterday, said, I'm a big un and I got a fat ass. And she was proud of herself. She's got confidence. Rachel was mad at me for something I said years ago, and we reran and then decided that she was gonna attack me, so I attacked back. You know what? They hate someone who fights back because radio people are pussies all the time. They get a complaint letter and then the next thing you know, they're being extorted by somebody and we're writing checks and handing money to say nothing happened. It happens. Oh, we got a complaint letter. The bad ones in radio bow down to that moment. I'm not doing that. You want to come after me? I'll come back. Rachel. Catherine. Yeah, and you're listening.

[E]

Karen.

[B]

Yeah, they're all Karens. We had our Linda's way before Karen's. We invented the Linda, which was the impetus and the origin of the band sodomizing Linda. We called them Linda's way before everybody started calling them Karens. Because we had Linda's emailing us the

[D]

power of the podcast.

[B]

But why? What is her like? She's listening in the afternoon to a music less podcast and I guarantee. Oh, it's Catherine is her friend Rachel told her to listen. Yeah, there's only one reason for her to think, I'll get him, I need to hear this. And then she heard it was like, what does this have to do with music? Have you ever listened to the radio? You dumb. Since when is anybody just going, well, there's Smashing Pumpkins, you know, Billy Corgan shaved his head for the first. We're not all talking about. Everybody's got their own music. We'll get to that in a little bit.

[D]

I did post on our Instagram yesterday.

[B]

There she is, restless legs. What does that say?

[D]

Gained 50 pounds.

[B]

Oh, because. Yeah, because she gained 50 pounds from restless leg syndrome and lost relationships. It had nothing to do with her personality or size. And here's what she should be doing with her food. And that is the six o' clock word. It's purge. Go ahead and get on the Purge is the 6:00 clock word that you put in our website and you put in our app and you go to the app and you go to the website and I'll give you a six o' clock time, you put a word in and then we got that. So purge is the 6am word. How's about that? Get on it. Yeah, thank you, Catherine. That's nice.

[D]

Did you say pie?

[B]

Yeah, no, no, Purge. It's what UCLA cheerleaders do after they eat a Catherine sized meal.

[F]

You say Kurds.

[B]

Yeah, I don't, I don't suffer turds lightly anymore. I'm not dealing with it. I have a problem with what you said. Well, I have a problem with what you're saying. How dare you. I'm like, well, we're the same. We're the exact same. I'm bitching at you, you're bitching at me. Let's call it a draw and walk away because I'm going to have. I'm going to win. You're going to complain at post dinos and I'm going to complain over 100,000 watts of FM airwaves and then also a huge podcast that more people listen to. So I'm gonna win.

[E]

You're gonna get attacked by Rachel's.

[B]

Now I'm ready. I will outrun Them I got six. You know, each square of a sidewalk is what, about two and a half feet? I got 16 of those to cover before she bends over and touches her knees and starts going and takes an inhaler or something and tries to breathe again. Besides that, I think we're way too close to the zoo for Rachel to run wild in the streets because somebody's gonna go, one got out. Don't want to hear it, ain't got time for it. And I like that you tried to protect Rachel, but we weren't talking about all fat ladies and how we don't want to have sex with them. We were talking about that one particular pig named Rachel and how nobody wants to have sex with her. And that was in her email, not ours. She's not a pig physically, although she is. She's a pig emotionally. And with her personality, she didn't develop one. And then she was probably pretty at one point, and then the restless legs caused her to eat too much. Marie Callenders. I don't know how that works.

[E]

You think it'd work the other way?

[B]

That's what I said yesterday. It's like the more she moves in bed, the better it is for her. She's gonna lose weight. It's kind of nature's way of saying, you're gonna die. And again, all the listeners that came in and said she'll have less restless legs soon when diabetes takes her feet. Still one of my favorites. Thank you. So keep them coming. I couldn't be happier that you guys have lost your money.

[D]

Catherine is Rachel's burner account that Tubby is trying to make it look like she has friends.

[B]

I wonder. I want Catherine. Doesn't seem legitimate. Like it. Nothing adds up. Say, how can you do that? And you listen to. Because it's all about music, isn't it? Well, you listen to the podcast. There's no music on it. So what are you doing? And why do you know about it us, if you hate everything about us? Just nothing funny. It was disgusting. And now I can picture you. You're a blob, too. So. Enough, enough.

[E]

That'll be the next picture today. The two of them together.

[B]

Yeah, well, you better be from the Hubble. Yeah, take your big fat fingers and dip them in Crisco and get them off the keyboard. Nobody has time for you. That's enough. What does this have to do with music? Oh, now you're program director. You get to tell us what we do on the show. Just turn it off.

[D]

And of course, everybody's jumping in on pictures of her.

[B]

Oh of course there's Rachel the Hutt and now Catherine the Hutt. I wonder how much Catherine is. I wonder how much Catherine is tied to Rachel. Cause this based on what that fake Roger said. She was complaining at work and had to leave. Which I was thrilled about. I hoped yesterday that my rant against her caused massive mental damage and she went home and considered sucking down a bunch of Tylenol. And if she did I'd feel feel bad for a minute but I'd be like well at least there's no more emails. And I don't think Tylenol makes enough pills because you know it has to do with mass body mass and how much will they. How many bottles would shift? She'd be full before the stuff would kick in to take her down. You need thousands of them first. I mean imagine trying to tranquilize an elephant with Tylenol. It would take forever. And Rachel's probably a little bigger than Babar. Anyhow, the emails are rolling now.

[E]

Things will be better by next.

[B]

This is a. This is a very good. This is a very good literary reference. Says Catherine was upset at 4:34 because Templeton woke her to show her the message that Charlotte had made. See that's a Charlotte's Web. Wilbur the pig. And it's a pig reference. Catherine is actually Rachel's personal doordash delivery person. Very upset that Rachel was possibly considering five door dashes instead of her normal eight.

[I]

Brady.

[B]

Isn't the wildlife zoo looking for a name for the new pick me up? Yeah. Rachel.

[F]

Oh my God.

[E]

We're too late.

[B]

That kid doesn't know its name yet. That pygmy isn't. We could. I know people who change their kids names like a year later. Call Christy and say we have to name the baby Pygmy. Rachel. And her middle name is Catherine. Rachel. Catherine Pygmy. Please. Brady.

[E]

I'll text her.

[A]

Text her now.

[B]

I don't see your fingers working. Act like Rachel and get those pudgy digits moving on the keyboard. Morning sickness. Medicate K u P D It's Brady

[E]

for game Day Men's Health. The valley's largest men's health clinic with 12 locations. You should schedule a complimentary appointment today. Go to gamedaymenshealth.com Every location has a cool man cave environment. You'll sit down with a board certified medical director and figure out what treatments that can help you. They have an on site lab and you will know what your testosterone level is during your first meeting. Do what Thousands of Phoenix area men are doing by going to gamedaymenshealth.com and schedule your complimentary appointment. You got to get back in the game with game day. Men's health.

[G]

Have you ever wanted to go to the NBA Finals? Well, thanks to our friends at FanDuel, you've now got a chance. It's Dick Toledo from Holberg's morning sickness. And all you have to do is use your profit boost on an NBA future and you'll be entered for a shot to win an NBA finals trip for two. So visit FanDuel.com for the info and to get started and play your game with FanDuel, official sports betting partner of the NBA 21+ in President Arizona. No purchase necessary. Limit one entry for profit boost token, opt in required. Must apply profit boost token on select market. Restrictions apply. See full terms, including methods of [e-mail] Gambling problem. Call or text 1-800- gambler Holmberg's morning sickness.

[B]

Two days of this nonsense.

[F]

I ain't got time for this.

[B]

This one says, how is it you can sit there cursing like a sailor, finding Brett videos funny racial humor, but make fun of an angry orca, and then the whole pod emails in? Why is it being a hysterical hippo, justifying going too far? It has to be an arrogance thing. It's not me, it's everyone else. And thinking about Golden Corral as fine dining. We'll get into that later. What I'm trying to say is trailer parkland. Belugas have almost no value, but believe they do, and only asshole men say otherwise. Andrew, that's beautiful. You should write for Hallmark. Did you steal that from Keats or Shelley? Which prose writer were you following when you came up with that gem? Yeah. Beluga Rachel Catherine. Beluga, the pygmy hippo at the. At the Wildlife World Zoo. Brady, if. If Christy is your friend at all, and I know she was on the Today show and got all that attention, but if they just went back and said, we named it Rachel Catherine. Oh, sweet Rachel. It's almost. It almost sounds Catholic. Little Rachel Catherine.

[E]

Yeah,

[B]

man, do I like that. And we're going to do it for you, Chunks. We're gonna do it for you, Rachel.

[D]

You'll always be remembered.

[B]

No one's ever going to forget you. You know what? And finally, I looked up on that real quick.

[E]

Like chunks.

[B]

What? Here? Yeah, I know. It's all right. A little trigger there. Yeah. Here's the fun thing about the only time that men will look at Rachel and smile is when Rachel is the pygmy hippo. That's the only. They're not the real Rachel. They look at her and laugh. That's different. How would they make fun of this situation? I can't. Anyway, silly. Stop it. Be normal now. That lady went out of her way to get mad. She went and downloaded the podcast to go get mad. I don't understand that, John.

[D]

You know, when that fat pig went home, she started down on bottles of ranch.

[B]

Oh, the. The ranch. Look. Hidden farms. Probably center or we're sorry letter. God, you went through. You had a tough morning, Rachel. Here. Here's some freebies. I love it. Absolutely love it. So just leave us alone. Don't do that. That's silly for you to. It's crazy for you guys to think that we're going to care about this. Like, it's like you literally. It's like trying to talk to a sociopath about, like, his feelings. You're not going to get through to me with your argument. I can disagree that restless leg syndrome is a silly made up thing for most people. I think it exists. I think it's been taken advantage of by people who want maladies so they can have some interesting thing about them that usually it deflects from what's really their insecurity. And in Rachel's case, it's a massive obesity problem. So she didn't want people talking about that. So she leads with, I'm also very ill. And that way people like, oh, you got to give her a break. Well, I don't. You got restless leg syndrome and you're fat. You got about. You got two problems. One's better than one. I'll take the restless legs. I'm worried about you steamrolling me and yelling slurs.

[E]

You just say is Tourette's.

[B]

Tourette's. Yeah. That's the big thing. And I would be all over that if I had used it many times. Busted by slurs. Brett's got some. You have giggle Tourette's when someone does yellow slur. Because you can get in trouble for that, like, being adjacent. Like, imagine if you were sitting next to that dude at the baftas and you didn't even know him and he started bombing Michael B. Jordan there from the crowd. This mother right here. What are you doing? And then they show Brett in the audience dying

[E]

with his phone up.

[B]

Whoa. He's doing a whole bunch of times. Oh, and what was he laughing at? Brett, the star of this movie, is laughing hysterically at this. But what they Expected was just put your head down and shake it and go, wait, this is bad. But you and I would both be like the Tourette's guy' losing it. Oh, get your phones. It's. Yeah, it's a thing. So sorry, Catherine. And I'm sorry, Rachel, but not for what I said. I'm sorry that you were dealt such a poor metabolism. That's my. It's such a bad thing that you

[D]

have to live with.

[B]

You really should keep an eye on it. Celery is. And, you know, my eggs are great. I believe beets, which I can't stand. That's considered one of those perfect foods. You know, those. They, they, that. And I think celery is one that you actually burn more calories chewing it

[D]

with your chicken wings.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, we got to keep her. Well, I was just trying to help.

[E]

It's a good balance.

[B]

Yeah, but no, it's like superfoods. That's what the beets are, a superfood. You go look it up on the Internet, get your fat fingers away from the email and stop bothering me and go to Google and go, what are superfoods? And how can I make my life easier? And it'll tell you, you're gonna have to eat a lot of beets. And I know that's against.

[E]

You know, pizza is not a super.

[B]

No, pizza is a super good food,

[D]

but it's not a super food.

[B]

Especially in the hands of Rachel, which is just probably lost a finger or two.

[D]

John, why is it when one heifer complains, the whole herd has to join in?

[B]

It's the beluga pod. That guy was right. Andrew was right. Yeah.

[E]

Herd mentality.

[B]

Well, it is herd mentality. It is the. It's you. One of them goes. And the rest of them start going, what do we. They all start doing it, too. You never have one dog howling. Usually a couple of them look and go, yeah, me too. Why not? Triggers.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, one dog does that. If I do it right now, there's a chance. There's like, huskies out there. They're like, well, all right, we're howling. And that's what pigs do, too. They don't howl. They smash keyboards with their big, fat, pudgy chicken fingered stained nails. Now she's got. Now she's been hammering on that keyboard so much, she looked at her nails and probably went, I need a manicure. And then she drove to Earl Shive, and she got that taken care of.

[D]

She called the blacksmith and things down.

[B]

Bend your foot behind you.

[E]

Come on.

[B]

Careful you want to.

[E]

I'll kick you can't read any letters on the keys?

[B]

No, they're all smashed away by the oil and grease and cheese. They just wiped them all off. Ho ho.

[D]

Chocolate all over them.

[B]

She's got that plastic cover like grandma used to have on the couch over her keyboard. It keeps the cheetle and the roasted chicken grease off. Then she eats the keyboard because it tastes so much like her food.

[A]

What's the code word for Metallica? Oh, I mean the Sphere Purge.

[B]

It's the six o' Clock purge.

[D]

Yeah, one over there.

[B]

Oh, no, that's the other thing. We might be the only station in town that tells people, stop listening. Just leave. Go away. I know it's going to take forever because, you know, you're a ham planet, so it's going to be rough for you to turn around and walk away, but just leave. We don't. I don't care. This one says. Well, now Marcus has taken it too far. This fat bitch needs to fix her diet and go for a walk. Restless leg syndrome is from too much sugar, parasites and caffeine in your system. Maybe she should put a collar on and take herself for a walk with her fat cow ass. Signed, Marcus. Now what are you going to email Marcus? Catherine, are you going to get mad at. He's participating. So I'm speaking for a large group of people and I'm sick of. I'm sick of hearing from nonsense people like you, and you can be sick of hearing from me. You have the option to not download the podcast and then ask me, isn't this all about music? On a thing that doesn't play music

[F]

don't make no sense. You don't make sense, chunks.

[B]

Your prime rib brain's got too much goop in it. Anyway, there. We've handled Rachel, I think, I mean, as best as a man can. Well, definitely gonna break your spine if you don't live with your legs, but had it. I want to talk about something the. The numbers are in for the Olympics. And man, oh man, was this Olympics a wild success. It was huge, averaging 21 million viewers a night, which makes a. And that's humongous for network television, which doesn't do any business anymore at all. I want to talk about people who have ruined something free and easy television executives on a local level, let alone the national level. So networks have to rely on live programming from here on out, or they're hoping for news and controversy that makes you tune into that, the local news and stuff, but it's not Going to happen too often. Huge numbers for them. So everybody over there at channel 12 just celebrating beyond belief that they got these numbers to pretend that they're going to continue to keep it. They're not. The big number that came back from the Winter Olympics was they tried this year to not have freebie condoms. You had to actually go get one out of, like, a box or something. And they put 10,000 to the Olympic Village. Yeah, the athletes, because they go through, like, 10,000. 10,000 was the number this year of the confirmed protected takes.

[E]

And I'd heard that, you know, like, this first time they ran out this early.

[B]

They ran out right off the bat, like, it was immediate. So the sex was unreal at the Olympics. And they keep saying that young people don't interact or that's all they do. They. They slide into each other's DMs and then they do it. There's like, we as a generation of people are like, you had to date one for a while. You don't anymore. You just have to talk to them on, like, their Instagrams or whatever it is. And then. And then they meet you somewhere and you have sex with them. I think that's what's going on. And everybody's like, they don't date. They don't have social skills. They don't have our social skills. Their social skills are ridiculous. Like, kid that Brewer brought in yesterday, he's not, like the most social person face to face, but the kid knows how to socialize in the modern digital world. So that's what they were saying. There's like 10,000 condoms were supplied and they were gone fast. And you know what they're saying is the impetus of this heated rivalry, that show about gay hockey, which is, look, every guy you Talk, I had 3 women yesterday try to tell me how great this show is, and then it's just. It's. It's ridiculous. I'm not going to name names, but somewhere in this city, there's going to be a heated rivalry watch party and then a Saturday Night Live watch party because the dude from the gay guy from Heated Rivalry is hosting it, and women are in love with him. So congratulations to all those people who I laughed at years ago. I was wrong. That said, oh, they're indoctrinating people into making women want their husbands to be gay. Like, they want all men to be gay. I'm like, that's crazy talk. And now you see that the biggest thing in the world right now currently for women, and all they're talking about is heated rivalry and these two hot gay guys making out. Which used to be gross. It used to only be lesbians making out. That got people going. Not anymore. These two dudes evidently have ladies for who? Gosh, I'm still old school. I'm still old school. It's not for men. I've mentioned several times, it's for women and not for men. We don't get it. In fact, you talk to most guys and like, what the hell is heated rivalry? And it's supposed to be about sports, but we sniff it out real fast. Like, this ain't about sports immediately, you know, I'm not watching. This is weird. I watched a couple episodes. I thought it was a little bit like I'm not interested in two men falling in love. I cannot relate to that. I tried watching Brokeback Mountain. I thought it was a beautifully shot, a wonderful story. It just drug on a little bit. And when Jack twist spit in his sell that scene. Look, you didn't, you didn't like it because it was gay and you don't want to watch it. I can get past that because I'm not gay. It doesn't threaten me. I don't care. I don't care if gay guys make out or do it. Fine. It's just not going to do anything for me. Ladies are losing their corks over this thing. And they say that the, the heated rivalry thing spawned a bunch of stuff. At the Olympics there were three proposals by athletes. One I didn't even know. Like there was an ice dancer who was rivals with another ice dancer. Like they were teams. And at the end they proposed to each other. One was from Sweden, one's from like Switzerland. I don't know the countries. And then at the end they're like they were in. They were in competition with each other. In the end they proposed.

[G]

Get you PD college basketball fans. FanDuel just handed you a tool that makes every college hoops parlay worth more. It's called the boost builder. You get a boost builder to use on any two plus leg college basketball parlay. Start building your parlay and each leg you add increases your boost all the way up to 105%. Just open the FanDuel app, choose your college hoops market, apply your boost token and watch the percentage climb. Head to fanduel.com kupd to get started. 21/in President Arizona Opt in required minimum 2 leg parlay required bonus issued is not withdrawal. Boost builder tokens restrictions apply including any token expiration and max wager amounts. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 533-42.

[B]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness to tell you about the Core Institute. People who met me found out that I've had four major operations in the last four years. They're blown away. I've had both shoulders replaced and both hips replaced because I was in absolute disaster before my surgeries. I was in pain. Now no one knows I've had any issues. People who hear multiple surgeries assume they'll never be the same. That's just not true. I'm better than I've been in 20 years. Stop quitting the things you love and get back to being the pain free you, you love. The Core Institute.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. There's another lesbian couple that proposed to each other at the Olympics. One guy proposed it. Like, they said it was all heated rivalry stuff, that they're rivals on the, on the court, but they are in love, you know, and it was like, whoa. And the heated rivalry thing is. But women, please don't go up to men and ask if we've watched heated rivalry because none of us have. And then don't, after we say no, start telling us how great it is because we're. Most of us are just gonna dodge it. It's like Bridgerton. You tried to sell us on Bridgerton as something to watch. And dudes just watched it and went, oh, it's just old lady porn. What? Yeah, it's non graphic old lady porn. You guys, like, you don't care about anything historic because there's no way this black guy would have gotten away with any of this back in the day.

[E]

Exactly.

[A]

That one doesn't make sense.

[B]

We as men are logical going, boy, if I was a black guy, I'd be mad because this is like having for no reason at all, like a black dude on the 27 Yankees and doing a movie about like, that's not. You can't do that. He wouldn't have been. Wouldn't have been nice to him. So we looked at that like, oh, you ladies are kind of rewriting history here a little bit. It's gonna. Anyway, you just like old lady porn.

[E]

Yesterday was a double whammy. Bridgerton listed your horoscope and what character you'd be on. Bridgerton.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[D]

Wow. I've never watched it.

[B]

Yeesh. Yeah. It's because it's not for us. Right? But then ladies will start to say, it's like us trying to explain, I don't know, like, WWE to an average woman. Oh, and then, you know, you didn't see Hornswoggle came out from under there. Women look at you like you're an idiot. That's how we look at you. Now with this heated rivalry, we don't care about gay hockey. We've got real hockey to watch, and we don't want them kissing at the end. For the most part, there's probably a small group of people that are like, man, I wish. I wish Hughes and Hellebuck would have made out. I'm sure there's a couple guys that would have thought that was cool. I'm not one of them, but, man, this thing's going crazy. But they're saying that that's the reason why they're sexually charged at the Olympics, because for some reason, heated rivalry has something to do with that. Downstairs, I had two ladies. Oh, are you watching?

[E]

They were trying to say that, you know, even before the Olympics, that they've noticed an uptick of hockey tickets.

[B]

Yeah, Chicks are watching hockey thinking that at the end they have some sort of man gang bang. And they don't. Thank God, because that's. That would not be good. But. But again, 15 years ago, when the argument was, oh, they're pushing gay on us. They're trying to make us all gay. Alex Jones, they're gonna try to make you gay. And my God, it's crazy. Now, in order to get a girl, part of the fun is gonna be like, she's really turned on when dudes kiss.

[E]

So now it's. It's switching around.

[B]

Think about it.

[E]

The girls are on. Hey, you guys make out Turnabouts.

[A]

Fair play.

[B]

We've been trying this with women for 50 years and finally got him to start doing it in the late 90s, and then it became normal. Now it's kind of boring. They're spinning it on us, and there's dudes that are gonna do it, apparently.

[D]

We gotta look up the interview that Sean Strickland did about heated rivalry.

[B]

Oh, I saw that. Sean Strickland is not someone you want to follow. He's all like, it sounds like Brett was in his earpiece. Sean Strickland is.

[D]

I haven't seen it yet.

[B]

He's. You think. You know, the fat ladies think I say some stuff. Sean Strickland makes me go, okay, dude, that's. That's a lot. I admire his bravery because it is cancelable in every direction every time he opens his mouth. But, you know, he's not Wrong. In this particular case. It's weird. So. Yeah. But he did rivalry. If it's sexy to you, that's great, but don't try to explain it to your husband. And certainly don't make it one of those things where we have to watch that with you. You can watch stuff along. It is. Is just not for us. It is weird fantasy of. And. And that's it. Chicks liking gay guys kissing. That. I. I didn't think that was going to happen. So much hair, so much poop. But you watch two chiseled, like, foreigners making out, and evidently that's what it took. But it took 15 or 16 years for them to finally go, I think they're ready. And they put this out. And the ladies are just squirting all over the place watching the show. So now they're gonna look at you, Brady. It's like heated rivalry. And it's gonna be like, well, first off, he doesn't look anything like these hunters hockey players, so check that box. He's out. But would he. Would he consider blowing a hot Russian?

[E]

That's why it was.

[B]

And that's where you're gonna. He's gonna be like, you want to spice things up in the bedroom? Heated rivalry's changing that. I want to bring a man into the bedroom. Like, I don't think that's out. Yeah. I think I'm gonna have to go.

[E]

You're not. You know the difference between he's rivalry and then whatever happened in the movie with the guy from parson Rec.

[B]

Oh, and fallout. And fallout. Yeah. You didn't like that Because a lot of the beard kissing. That's what I get. I can't watch that. So much hair. So much hair. And that's another thing we said the different.

[E]

You know. And it's a difference in the attraction, appearance.

[B]

Doesn't bother me that they were gay. I just think about myself and another bearded individual smashing faces, and I giggle because I'm like, that's just weird. I think of my uncle Doug, who had this big, thick beard, and I'm like, if you ever start making out with another dude. And I'm like, this is gross. Like, the picture's easy top, like, getting after. That's gross. And. And we all think that's gross. And it's not so much the homosexuality. It's the. It's the. It's the hair. And keep in mind, ladies, we also. And you're doing it to us now, so it's fair. We also made it so generations that never shaved down South Suddenly was enough pressure from us. Thank you Playboy and the early days of the Internet that we made it. So you guys balled it up down there. We made it a billion dollar industry to go get your hairs ripped out. So we, We've never liked hair.

[E]

No.

[B]

So it makes sense that we wouldn't want to make out with a dude because the furry nature of. Of that.

[E]

Imagine if they twisted Roadhouse back in the day. It was Sam Elliott and the swas

[B]

up in the barn. Out. Oh my God. Whip out your dick, Miho. I like when you do twirly kicks. Yeah. And then you just hear the dude abides. Yeah. We've never liked hair. We've never wanted to make out with hair. So we talked you guys into thinking that it was a good idea to get rid of that. And your body grows hair down there for a reason. It's a protective measure against any hole in your body. And notice that every hole in your body usually has hair. Your mouth is the only one that men do it. But like eyelashes, eyebrows, they're all designed to protect the openings and your B hole and all that stuff. Your ears end up getting a little hairy. Everything has got it because it's a. It's a sensor like curb feelers.

[E]

It's your offensive line. It is.

[B]

It's the first line of defense. Hey, something's down there. Like your hair goes tinkle. We talked you guys into getting rid of it because it was kind of gross to us. So this gay thing is taking off and congratulations, good job. I mean, hey, look, I got no problem with it. I know where I line up. I can watch it and not have any feelings at all. I just am not interested. Cause I can't relate to it. So please ladies, stop the heated rivalry. So it's huge. Yeah, it's huge with ladies. It's lady porn. And that's awesome. We have our porn. You have your porn. You have your crazy stuff. That's great. That's great. I'm happy you found something you love. But I'll stick to my DUA LIPA fantasies which aren't going to come real. And you stick to gay hockey players and we'll just, we, we'll have our little. We'll go two different directions. We're not. We don't have to align on everything. Especially cuz mine's not gross.

[D]

With lots of hair.

[B]

All that hair floating, all that. Oh, you imagine that?

[E]

No.

[B]

You see those finishing moves and some porns and you're like, imagine if that was if she had like A big, thick beard.

[E]

Oh,

[A]

think her three days of coma.

[B]

All the crunching out of there. Then they're just rubbing it. I can't get it all out.

[E]

Conditioning.

[B]

Oh, it's gross. And then you. You know, sometimes it's kind of hot at the end of the porn to see a lady who looks like she just went through a milk factory. I don't know if there was, like, a big beard, though. See, that's how guys think. So stop. Yeah. Enjoy your heated rivalry and don't try to drag us into it. And it doesn't make us bad to not want to watch it now.

[D]

The worst is when you go on there and you see the little thumbnails that start up a little bit. Oh, she's hot. Okay, maybe. And then they go down, and it's like, you know the Amazon down there?

[B]

I'm like, all right, I'm out. Next. Next. I didn't buy the Black Crows album that I wanted because the. The. And then they had to change it, remember? Because they're like, man. People aren't buying it because the album cover was a lady in a bikini, but she hadn't shaved since Nixon and the stuff was flying out of the bikini. I'm like, I'm not. I'm not owning that. That's gross. People want to call it homophobia. It's harophobia. It's disgusting to lock up fuzzy bits.

[F]

It's gross.

[B]

You complain and get a free meal if there's one hair in your food in a restaurant. But making out with a hair, that makes sense. Women, you have to. I know. And you know, from their perspective, they make out with us. And we've got beards, so it doesn't bother them. It bothers us. So don't try to make that a thing. And great that you love your old lady porn. It is old lady pornography. I've never. I have not. It's lady softcore. Cinemax. That's what we used to love late at night.

[D]

So it's like that 50 Shades of Gray type thing.

[B]

I've never watched 50 Shades of Gray. The first one. It's not a good same kind of

[E]

vibe, in a way. I mean, it attracts the same people.

[B]

It's. It's old lady porn. Yeah, it's housewife porn. And that's not about. People will be like, that's offense. Why is that offensive? That's. It's good. They think we're making fun. We're just not interested. And that's where they get upset if we're not interested in the thing they're interested in. They. We think we're mad at them or we're making fun of them. Fun of their thing. It's just weird to us. There's a lot of stuff women are. Oh, he's an idiot. We're doing that back to you now. I said, I just found out that Katherine met Rachel on a Reddit forum called Bridger Three and a half ton. Yeah, that's exactly right. The six o' clock word is purge. We get that in there and maybe you'll go see Metallic up in Vegas as a Bridgerton. Nude scenes is the subject. It says, I tried looking them up because I'm a DJ who just wants to see boobs. And when I looked it up, it showed a fat chick. And I about threw up from. I didn't want to. I almost think it should be taken off the air for showing people something so repulsive. All right, you're taking it too far.

[E]

That was a brave scene.

[B]

Well, she was very brave. Technicals off in the camera. I. I watched a little bridge or two. I'm like, this is just silly. If I was black, I would boycott this show. This is. This just make me angry that they have skirted history. So of course you would have been insulting Rachel. Yeah. It would be like the Jackie Robinson story starring John C. Reilly. Like, why? Why? It's just, why would you cast a white man to play Jackie Robinson? I always love that. I. I've said it for years. Baseball's here and they have that. We're celebrating 125 years of the team. We're going to have throwback week. And then I never forget when the Cubs did their. Whatever anniversary it was and they did throwback jerseys. Batting for the Cubs, leading off, center fielder Dexter Fowler. And I remember Len Casper saying, Dexter's in a 1934 wool. And I'm like, oh, boy. He wasn't allowed. And that's the first dude to wear that who's looking like Dexter Fowler. 1934 wool Cubs outfit. Dexter, you're a pioneer.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

They shouldn't have put him in it. But they did. They had throwbacks. Anything before 1947 they should have never thrown back to and then made black players wear it. That's terrible. Bridgerton's the same as that.

[D]

That's your Red Sox fan. And be like, 1970, once Ted Williams,

[B]

you can hire whatever you want. You go ahead and put them on the team. Now I'm gone. Ted Williams was evidently the world's biggest racist and held the keys to what the Red Sox were going to put on the field. And nary a brown skinned man played with Ted Williams, that's for sure. They started pushing him around a little towards the end there, but they were the last to integrate and that was also the city of Boston going, ah, we'll be all right. And then they realized we're not going to win anything unless we hire Louis Teon. Today. Give us a Wake up song 585-9800, a good one and we'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake Up, Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

[I]

Celebrate 25 years of pool perfection at Blue Wave Pools, Open House and Customer Appreciation Day Saturday, February 28th from 10 to 2 Join the fun at their newly remodeled showroom on Dobson and Baseline in Mesa. Food, drinks, kids activities, prizes and raffles included. Plus, for limited time, get $2,500 off a new pool purchase now through March. Come celebrate, save big and make a splash with BlueWave pools. Visit BlueWavepoolsaz.com or schedule a consultation Today.

[A]

It's Brett Vestley from Holmberg's Morning Sickness. I don't know about you, but I

[D]

got tons of stuff going on in

[A]

my life and of course the yard seems to get neglected. So I figured I need to get some help. So I hit up Divine Design Landscaping. They come out every other week and take care of everything. I don't have time and quite frankly,

[D]

the stuff I don't want to do.

[A]

As a matter of fact, they're coming out next week to plant a lime tree at the house, lawn care, irrigation tree work, low voltage lighting, 3D designs, patios, driveways, you name it. For the most part, Divine Design Landscaping can do it. Get a free [e-mail].