Holmberg’s Morning Sickness (98KUPD) – February 27, 2026

Episode Theme: A raucous, irreverent morning in the HMS studio, where John Holmberg and the crew skewer everything from the legitimacy of Reiki healing to the most annoying things passengers do in cars. The discussion is rich with skepticism, playful banter, and the show’s signature Arizona-rooted humor.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Skepticism towards Reiki Healing

• Listener Story: A listener named Sean emails in, voicing concern that his mother, Corey Rockefeller, is heavily into Reiki healing, a practice she believes helps by waving hands above the body to “heal with energy.”

• Holmberg Throws Shade: The team, especially John, continues their standing tradition of poking fun at Reiki, energy healing, and similar trends, labeling them as money grabs and questioning their scientific basis.

  “Yeah, I’ll tell you this, it does work because their hands magically suck money right out of the account.” – John Holmberg (09:11)

• Sean’s Blindness Adds a Twist: Sean, who is blind, can’t describe his mother’s decorations but can “hear the goddamn wind chime” that seem to accompany her interest in alternative healing.

  “But every time I come home, she talks about all the wind chime she’s buying…” – John reading Sean’s email (07:39)

• Dick Toledo Defines Reiki: Toledo provides a brief, factual run-down on Reiki, its history, and its “principles” (08:49), immediately undercut by John and Bret mocking it as something old-school, hardworking men would never do or admit to doing.

  “My Grandpa never went to a Reiki healer. He had polio. He ran a farm and like, metal in his head in four places.” – John (10:53)

2. Chemtrails, Conspiracies, and Gender Banter

• Airline Chemtrails Debunked: John reads listener emails, including one from a real-life aircraft mechanic adamantly denying chemtrail conspiracies (02:24).
• Mocking Alex Jones: John parodies conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, riffing on classic Alex Jones tropes:

  “You wake up, I’m Alex Jones. I’ll be right back with more chemtrail talk… All the frogs are homosexuals…” – John, parodying Alex Jones (03:00)

• Gender Sports Banter: The crew riff on a viral social post about men’s and women’s hockey, leading to a tongue-in-cheek “challenge” about putting gender equality and voting rights on the outcome of a hockey match.

  “I don’t know too many women that are like, we can do anything a man can do. All right, that’s fair. Let’s put the vote on it and get these hockey teams you guys are excited about.” – John (05:47)

3. Food News and Fast Food Developments

• National Strawberry Day & Chocolate Soufflé Day: The obligatory food holiday updates, with John then launching into a memorable (and purposely gross) riff comparing strawberries to “homeless nose blackheads” (15:30).

  “Once it touches strawberry juice, I think of the homeless man’s nose, and I’m out.” – John (15:34)

• Burger King Whopper Changes:

  • Switching to a more premium bun, moved into a box instead of paper, and stacking tall with extra fresh toppings (19:29).
  • Playful skepticism about “better mayo” and the need for yet more Whopper variants.

  • “I’m essentially a black guy when it comes to mayo. No, thank you.” – John (20:10)

• Dr. Pepper Sausage Collaboration: Johnsonville launching a Dr. Pepper-infused sausage (20:48–21:14).

4. Annoying Car Passenger Habits (22:01)

• Poll on what annoys drivers most:
  • Backseat driving (most cited)
  • Leaving trash in the car
  • Eating messy/smelly foods
  • Yelling “watch out!” when nothing is wrong (23:12)
  • Putting feet on the dashboard (“That’s a woman thing, too. A man wouldn’t do that.” – John, 23:58)
  • Changing radio stations without asking—a personal trigger for John and Bret.
• Anecdotes about parents’ passenger habits, especially dads grabbing the dash in panic.

5. Lifestyle & Culture: Aging, Comfort, and Social Status

• Over 25? Here's What's Exciting: Post-25, things like “having no plans,” “gray hair coming in,” a good vacuum cleaner, air fryer, and a large bed become more attractive (28:05).

  “I planned my Fridays around OP Live… That’s what I realized.” – John (28:07)

• Miracle Whip vs Mayo: Listener correction about the condiment divide in the black community, referencing Undercover Brother (27:23).

6. Stupid Criminals, Daily Choices, & The Power of Water

• Fake Movie Money for Bail: Woman arrested for trying to use prop bills—labeled “for motion picture use only”—to pay a boyfriend’s $1,400 bail (29:43).
• Coffee vs Water in the Morning: Panel debates which should come first. John describes his reluctant embrace of coffee for the caffeine, not the flavor (30:55–31:59).

7. Video Reactions (32:45)

• Culminates with a series of wild, explicit, and graphic reaction videos—ranging from lactating nips to extreme prop use—causing major disbelief and laughs (33:02–36:07).
  • Not for the faint of heart—standard HMS “oh god why” segment.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Reiki, skeptics' corner:

  • “Anybody hovering their hands over my head, zero results so far.” – John (09:25)
  • “I could have a homeless [person] do that for 20 bucks.” – John (09:57)

• Gross-out food analogies:

  • “Every seed that's in your mouth is just the pus and goo from a blackhead of a homeless man's nose.” – John (16:09)

• Gender roles and challenges:

  • “The biggest girl on your team’s 145lbs soaking wet with loonies and toonies in her pockets.” – John (05:03)

• On driving:

  • “Don’t touch… Well, if country’s on, you guys, it doesn’t matter what car you’re in…” – John (24:03)
  • “My dad’s phrase… What are you doing, closing the door on the goddamn space shuttle?” – Bret (24:19)

• Coffee confessions:

  • “Coffee’s disgusting. And I’ve just started to do it because everybody said you gotta love coffee at a certain age. I just don’t.” – John (31:04)

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Topic/Quote | |---------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:24 | Email from aircraft mechanic debunking chemtrails | | 03:00 | Alex Jones parody; “All the frogs are homosexual” | | 07:19 | Listener Sean’s email about his mom’s Reiki healer | | 08:49 | Dick Toledo explains what Reiki is | | 09:11 | John: “It does work because their hands magically suck money…” | | 15:30 | John compares strawberry juice to a homeless man’s nose | | 19:29 | Burger King Whopper changes | | 20:48 | Dr. Pepper Johnsonville sausage discussion | | 22:01 | Most annoying passenger habits in cars | | 23:58 | “That’s a woman thing, too. A man wouldn’t do that.” (Feet on dash) | | 28:05 | Over 25: things that become newly attractive (no plans, gray hair, air fryer, etc.) | | 29:43 | Woman tries to post bail with movie money | | 30:55 | Coffee vs water in the morning | | 33:02–36:07 | Extreme, explicit reaction video gauntlet |

Tone & Takeaways

• Tone: Signature HMS—irreverent, sarcastic, casual, and never quite politically correct.
• Takeaway: Expect no sacred cows; listeners get daily doses of skepticism, gross-out humor, food news, and cultural observations—always with a shot of Arizona flavor and plenty of laughs.
• If you missed it:
  • Don’t go to a Reiki healer for your baldness.
  • Don’t eat strawberries around John.
  • Don’t leave trash in Bret’s car.
  • Still no word on whether Reiki works over Zoom (John’s wife is trying it).

For the Metallica contest, 8 a.m. word: Sandman (06:39, 32:30).