02-27-26 - BR - FRI - Shawn's Mother Goes To A Reiki Healer As We Continue To Call BS On It - List Of Most Annoying Things Passengers Do In Cars

Summary

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Holmberg’s Morning Sickness (98KUPD) – February 27, 2026

Episode Theme: A raucous, irreverent morning in the HMS studio, where John Holmberg and the crew skewer everything from the legitimacy of Reiki healing to the most annoying things passengers do in cars. The discussion is rich with skepticism, playful banter, and the show’s signature Arizona-rooted humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Skepticism towards Reiki Healing

• Listener Story: A listener named Sean emails in, voicing concern that his mother, Corey Rockefeller, is heavily into Reiki healing, a practice she believes helps by waving hands above the body to “heal with energy.”

• Holmberg Throws Shade: The team, especially John, continues their standing tradition of poking fun at Reiki, energy healing, and similar trends, labeling them as money grabs and questioning their scientific basis.

  “Yeah, I’ll tell you this, it does work because their hands magically suck money right out of the account.” – John Holmberg (09:11)

• Sean’s Blindness Adds a Twist: Sean, who is blind, can’t describe his mother’s decorations but can “hear the goddamn wind chime” that seem to accompany her interest in alternative healing.

  “But every time I come home, she talks about all the wind chime she’s buying…” – John reading Sean’s email (07:39)

• Dick Toledo Defines Reiki: Toledo provides a brief, factual run-down on Reiki, its history, and its “principles” (08:49), immediately undercut by John and Bret mocking it as something old-school, hardworking men would never do or admit to doing.

  “My Grandpa never went to a Reiki healer. He had polio. He ran a farm and like, metal in his head in four places.” – John (10:53)

2. Chemtrails, Conspiracies, and Gender Banter

• Airline Chemtrails Debunked: John reads listener emails, including one from a real-life aircraft mechanic adamantly denying chemtrail conspiracies (02:24).
• Mocking Alex Jones: John parodies conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, riffing on classic Alex Jones tropes:

  “You wake up, I’m Alex Jones. I’ll be right back with more chemtrail talk… All the frogs are homosexuals…” – John, parodying Alex Jones (03:00)

• Gender Sports Banter: The crew riff on a viral social post about men’s and women’s hockey, leading to a tongue-in-cheek “challenge” about putting gender equality and voting rights on the outcome of a hockey match.

  “I don’t know too many women that are like, we can do anything a man can do. All right, that’s fair. Let’s put the vote on it and get these hockey teams you guys are excited about.” – John (05:47)

3. Food News and Fast Food Developments

• National Strawberry Day & Chocolate Soufflé Day: The obligatory food holiday updates, with John then launching into a memorable (and purposely gross) riff comparing strawberries to “homeless nose blackheads” (15:30).

  “Once it touches strawberry juice, I think of the homeless man’s nose, and I’m out.” – John (15:34)

• Burger King Whopper Changes:

  • Switching to a more premium bun, moved into a box instead of paper, and stacking tall with extra fresh toppings (19:29).
  • Playful skepticism about “better mayo” and the need for yet more Whopper variants.

  • “I’m essentially a black guy when it comes to mayo. No, thank you.” – John (20:10)

• Dr. Pepper Sausage Collaboration: Johnsonville launching a Dr. Pepper-infused sausage (20:48–21:14).

4. Annoying Car Passenger Habits (22:01)

• Poll on what annoys drivers most:
  • Backseat driving (most cited)
  • Leaving trash in the car
  • Eating messy/smelly foods
  • Yelling “watch out!” when nothing is wrong (23:12)
  • Putting feet on the dashboard (“That’s a woman thing, too. A man wouldn’t do that.” – John, 23:58)
  • Changing radio stations without asking—a personal trigger for John and Bret.
• Anecdotes about parents’ passenger habits, especially dads grabbing the dash in panic.

5. Lifestyle & Culture: Aging, Comfort, and Social Status

• Over 25? Here's What's Exciting: Post-25, things like “having no plans,” “gray hair coming in,” a good vacuum cleaner, air fryer, and a large bed become more attractive (28:05).

  “I planned my Fridays around OP Live… That’s what I realized.” – John (28:07)

• Miracle Whip vs Mayo: Listener correction about the condiment divide in the black community, referencing Undercover Brother (27:23).

6. Stupid Criminals, Daily Choices, & The Power of Water

• Fake Movie Money for Bail: Woman arrested for trying to use prop bills—labeled “for motion picture use only”—to pay a boyfriend’s $1,400 bail (29:43).
• Coffee vs Water in the Morning: Panel debates which should come first. John describes his reluctant embrace of coffee for the caffeine, not the flavor (30:55–31:59).

7. Video Reactions (32:45)

• Culminates with a series of wild, explicit, and graphic reaction videos—ranging from lactating nips to extreme prop use—causing major disbelief and laughs (33:02–36:07).
  • Not for the faint of heart—standard HMS “oh god why” segment.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Reiki, skeptics' corner:

  • “Anybody hovering their hands over my head, zero results so far.” – John (09:25)
  • “I could have a homeless [person] do that for 20 bucks.” – John (09:57)

• Gross-out food analogies:

  • “Every seed that's in your mouth is just the pus and goo from a blackhead of a homeless man's nose.” – John (16:09)

• Gender roles and challenges:

  • “The biggest girl on your team’s 145lbs soaking wet with loonies and toonies in her pockets.” – John (05:03)

• On driving:

  • “Don’t touch… Well, if country’s on, you guys, it doesn’t matter what car you’re in…” – John (24:03)
  • “My dad’s phrase… What are you doing, closing the door on the goddamn space shuttle?” – Bret (24:19)

• Coffee confessions:

  • “Coffee’s disgusting. And I’ve just started to do it because everybody said you gotta love coffee at a certain age. I just don’t.” – John (31:04)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Topic/Quote | |---------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:24 | Email from aircraft mechanic debunking chemtrails | | 03:00 | Alex Jones parody; “All the frogs are homosexual” | | 07:19 | Listener Sean’s email about his mom’s Reiki healer | | 08:49 | Dick Toledo explains what Reiki is | | 09:11 | John: “It does work because their hands magically suck money…” | | 15:30 | John compares strawberry juice to a homeless man’s nose | | 19:29 | Burger King Whopper changes | | 20:48 | Dr. Pepper Johnsonville sausage discussion | | 22:01 | Most annoying passenger habits in cars | | 23:58 | “That’s a woman thing, too. A man wouldn’t do that.” (Feet on dash) | | 28:05 | Over 25: things that become newly attractive (no plans, gray hair, air fryer, etc.) | | 29:43 | Woman tries to post bail with movie money | | 30:55 | Coffee vs water in the morning | | 33:02–36:07 | Extreme, explicit reaction video gauntlet |

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Tone & Takeaways

• Tone: Signature HMS—irreverent, sarcastic, casual, and never quite politically correct.
• Takeaway: Expect no sacred cows; listeners get daily doses of skepticism, gross-out humor, food news, and cultural observations—always with a shot of Arizona flavor and plenty of laughs.
• If you missed it:
  • Don’t go to a Reiki healer for your baldness.
  • Don’t eat strawberries around John.
  • Don’t leave trash in Bret’s car.
  • Still no word on whether Reiki works over Zoom (John’s wife is trying it).

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For the Metallica contest, 8 a.m. word: Sandman (06:39, 32:30).

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Transcript

[A]

You're listening to the HMS Podcast, brought to you by MMP Guns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition and accessories.

[B]

It's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness, and I've got a new friend I'm fired up to tell you about Modern Resolution Windows and Doors. And I'm genuinely excited to tell you that these guys are good. Locally owned, licensed, bonded, insured, custom windows and doors made in America with a lifetime guarantee, free labor on six or more units. Mention Holmberg and you'll get an extra 500 bucks off modern Resolution Windows and Doors, my new find and your home's new upgrade. Free in home consultations. All you got to do is call, text or book [e-mail] give them a call. 480-665-5732.

[A]

Hey, it's Brett Vesely and I'm here with Byron from MMP Guns. Look, Byron, I have a friend wanting to sell some guns he inherited. What's the best way for him to do that?

[C]

Brett, the last thing you want to do is sell the gun to someone who can't legally own one. Tell him not to put himself at risk and come into MMP Guns where he'll get a fair offer and he can rest easy knowing it's not getting into the wrong hands.

[A]

Okay, but what if he lives out of state?

[C]

Easy. Legalgunbuyer.com and he can do it all online. It that simple.

[A]

There you have it. MMP Guns or legalgunbuyer.com the safe and legal way to sell your firearms.

[B]

You thought that was funny? You were laughing like a hyena when he said it. What the hell is wrong with you? The white zombie right there. And off we go. Couple more minutes, I'm gonna give you the 8 o' clock word for the Metallica thing. It's a great big deal. You guys are crushing this, by the way.

[D]

They're also like been finding out there's a VIP pre sale today.

[B]

Today for the.

[D]

For the residency, for fear. But it's for travel packages, so it's like the big boy packages are. There's a pre sale today and you got to register on those going for

[A]

like, you get a sweet stuff like

[D]

that that goes live. I think it said at 2pm Eastern. So noon our time is when that'll go live.

[B]

No kidding.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

A guy emailed me and said I'm doing the thing with that you told me to do. I've got a text thread going. I said, I send everybody the word and he said, I just sent a off to a girl, that the word for seven o' clock was Lars. And she goes, what the hell does Lars have to do with this? She's done, but she's helping me out.

[A]

She'd be hot, though.

[B]

She's like, don't worry about it.

[A]

Justin's a country problem.

[B]

She's probably really pretty.

[D]

She's boot scooting.

[B]

Then I got a thing from a guy named Clint, says an aircraft mechanic for a major airline. There's absolutely no chemtrails or normal airlines doing anything like that. Unless the planes that you're talking about aren't airlines and are secret covert planes. There's no chemtrails by airlines. Stop drinking the Kool Aid, Jim Jones. That's exactly what a man who secretly sprang me with chemtrails would say.

[D]

Calm down.

[B]

Everything about it is denial by the people spraying you. If you have a guy hosing you off, you're like, hey, this smells funny. He's like, trust me, it's not chemicals.

[D]

It's just a shower.

[B]

And then you start noticing that all the amphibians in your area are homosexuals. You kind of gotta realize what's going on. You wake up, I'm Alex Jones. I'll be right back with more chemtrail talk. That's right. I got another guy said the exact same thing. Says 30 year airline captain, call me. I'll explain what chemtrails are and the nonsense that's been spewing. And I said it again. Exactly the type of crap that a man secretly spraying me with something would say. Turning all the kids into sissy dogs. All the frogs are homosexuals. You want to have your mind blown back when I said that joke mine about frogs being gay. The chemicals in the water made the frogs self replicate, which means they turned into men and women banging each other, and then the guys could get pregnant. Exactly. What the homosexual people in the lgbtq. Abu fc. The ufc, I guess.

[A]

Ufc?

[B]

Wow, that's right. The lbgtq. You know, that's a hell of an idea right there. The LGBTQ UFC would be blockbusters. Get a couple of twinks in there and dresses. Just wrestling. Well, that don't. You don't fool yourself, Brett. That's what they want. Oh, I'm sure. They want the women fighting the men.

[D]

Who is this they.

[B]

There's a lady. I sent you guys this. The other. She put a. She put one of those Instagram things out that said, all right, enough of men are better than women. Women are better. Than men. The two best hockey teams in the world right now are the male US Hockey team and the female US Hockey team. They both won gold, so put them on the ice, and whoever wins gets voting rights. Let's do it.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

Let's do it.

[D]

First off, this isn't going to end how you think it's going to end.

[B]

To quote Shorzy, every one of you will be drinking through a tube. Is that what he said?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Women challenge the men to a game, and he's like, I watched the Olympics. That wasn't shy. It was the coach. Every single time. The men's numbers are a lot better than the women's numbers. And racing, they're a lot faster every single time. We're gonna beat you guys. You're gonna be eaten through tubes. The biggest girl on your team's 145lbs soaking wet with loonies and toonies in her pockets. Yeah. So that lady that put that out there a has no friends because somebody should have said, take that down immediately. That's stupid. We're gonna lose the vote.

[D]

I love the two guys in that. No, no, no, no.

[B]

Let her do it. One guy's like, we shouldn't have. This guy said, no, no.

[A]

What does this beast look like?

[B]

She's just typical.

[A]

N. She missed that.

[B]

Pretty typical of what you would assume. Okay. But bottom line is, if we want to have some 19th Amendment sporting events, I'm all in. I don't know too many women that are like, we can do anything a man can do. All right, that's fair. Let's put the vote on it and get these hockey teams you guys are excited about. Yeah, I know, I know.

[A]

Come on.

[B]

She's not.

[A]

Yeah, no, she is.

[D]

Jesus.

[B]

I would watch that. And when she said it, I'm like, oh, she's kidding. And then she goes, just stone face. Serious. I'm like, she means it. She wants women not to vote.

[D]

Love it.

[A]

I bet there's no tan line on that finger.

[B]

There's no way.

[D]

No, I just love the dude in that. No, no.

[B]

Yeah, the guy just go. One guy comes on the thing, he goes, does she know what she's talking? We can't do this. You don't want that. And then another guy goes, let her keep talking. Let's do this. I think we want to do this.

[D]

Let it. Let it happen.

[B]

They can't vote. The 8am Word for the Metallica super prize is Sandman. And that's just for you people listening to the live taping of the podcast.

[A]

One Word.

[B]

Sandman. That's right. One word. And you put it in our. Our app. 98 KPD app, and get a bunch of friends to download that. Or you go to our website and you put it in there, too. Hop on.

[D]

Listening to the podcast next Monday.

[B]

Yeah, if you're. If you're listening to the podcast like a lot of people do, we got nothing for you. I would. I wish we had thought of that, but I don't know what we are. If we're a radio station, we're a podcast. Nobody seems to know because here's the thing.

[D]

In a couple of weeks, we're going to do a podcast only contest.

[B]

You know, we should do that.

[D]

We should.

[B]

We should have a podcast only contest. And then our blind buddy Sean emails and says, my mother, Corey Rockefeller is using a Reiki healer. The service is where a massage therapist doesn't actually touch you. They just hold their hands above the body and heal with their energy.

[D]

Shut up.

[B]

But every time I come home, she talks about all the wind chime she's buying. And there's probably another Coca Pelli. Sean's blind, so he doesn't know what. His mother's decorating the house.

[D]

Well, you can hear the goddamn wind chime.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

Can we offer that service at our.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, we'll offer the Reiki. Okay, Brett, and I'll hover above you

[A]

for a little bit.

[B]

Reiki Reiki.

[D]

I don't know if I've ever heard of that.

[B]

It's. They do the cruel's eye.

[D]

What?

[B]

And then they just hold their hands.

[A]

The Miyagi that.

[B]

You haven't seen Reiki? I don't. I haven't seen Reiki Healing is they. They do it like they heat their hands and then they put some stuff and then they. They. A couple inches above your body start to like. Like if you've got a stomach problem or something, they just hold it over that.

[A]

Broads.

[B]

Broads, you know, you never see in the lobby there.

[A]

Dudes. Exactly.

[B]

No, guys like, yeah, you're into some hemorrhoids. And I went over to a Reiki and. Oh, yeah, I know. Reiki guys were great.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[B]

I got a Reiki healer, too, because

[A]

the guy's on the phone with Wendy.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Never. Never been in a construction site. I was like, oh, I need my Reiki guy. My back.

[A]

You mean Dan never came home and went to a Reiki after a hard day.

[B]

My dad came home one time and he's like, we gotta call the Reiki guy. And I'M like, oh, my God, Dad's gay.

[D]

Reiki is a Japanese energy healing technique established in the 1920s by Mikao Usui.

[B]

It worked.

[D]

Designed to reduce stress and promote relaxation by channeling universal life force energy through a practitioner's hands. It works by placing the hands lightly on or just above the body in specific positions to guide energy flow. Sessions usually last 60 to 90 minutes.

[B]

Yeah, I'll tell you this, it does work because their hands magically suck money right out of the account. It's unreal. No, My Raiki guy cured my baldness. Oh, yeah, look at me.

[A]

Well, you should have went to the Reiki.

[B]

I didn't go to the Reiki guy. But anybody hovering their hands over my head, zero results so far.

[D]

It is guided by the five Reiki principles and the mantras. They are just for today. I will not anger. I will not worry. I will be grateful. I will do my work honestly. I will be kind to every living thing.

[B]

Whatever works for you, go do it. But you're still a for doing it. I have my Reiki healer. What's that cost? 185 an hour. Holy Christ. And what's he do? His hovers around the room? Jesus Christmas. I could have a homeless do that for 20 bucks.

[D]

Can't you pay the girls at Postina to do the same thing? Yeah, can it.

[B]

Well, they don't have the special powers. I also talked to a guy yesterday who was telling me about power of prayer, and I'm like, whatever works for you, man. And I'm like, but what I always discount with prayer is, can he not hear me right now? It's like, what do you mean? I'm like, you guys always have to activate with code words and then deactivate at the end, right? Dearest Lord. Okay, we're on. It's like turning the mics on.

[D]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Stop. Yep. And then at the end, he's like, oh, man. And then God goes, all right, shut that down.

[A]

Dear God, stop.

[B]

Right. Why do you have to activate your prayers? Well, he has to know we're talking to him. He knows that already.

[D]

He knows everything.

[B]

Your prayers are silly. Stop with the power of prayer and do whatever you want to do. But again, I do that, and you can call me things. Whatever makes you get through the day. But it doesn't mean you're not a dip for doing it. That's fact. We all are. We all have stuff we do that makes us dip. Women have more because they've got Reiki healers. And, you know, look, my Grandpa never went to a Reiki healer. He had polio. He ran a farm and like metal in his head in four places. He didn't want it. It wasn't like medically put there. It just fell in his head. Everyone's the Reiki heel. He got stomach cancer that spread all over his body and and kept working.

[A]

Alfredo Reiki, you know, you never suck that cancer out. It works.

[B]

Reiki healer, Corey Rockefeller. Come on. 8:00am Word of Sandman. And now we get to our glorious Brady Report. Sans Brady. Who's off that. Where'd he go? Chicago. Columbus, Ohio, I think. Yeah, that's what's happening. Charlie is all right. They went back to. What a great time to go back to Columbus. It's only 90 here. Was like four there.

[D]

Yeah, and they got another storm coming through. He may not make it back.

[B]

He'll be all right. He'll be happy.

[A]

Hopefully. He's going to go to Mark Pies Chinese.

[B]

We talked him into that. There's no question.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

When you brought that, we gotta text him. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Oh, by the way, my wife goes to a Reiki healer online.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Evidently they transfer that through a screen. Oh, my God.

[D]

Does she have to get her ass close to the screen? What happens?

[A]

She has a smoke show.

[B]

Put your breasts up against the camera real quick.

[D]

Kevin does that too.

[B]

Of course he does. Morning sickness medicate. KUPD.

[D]

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[E]

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[B]

Holmberg's morning sickness. Get some Japanese guys in there. They're authentic. Like a sushi cut, right?

[D]

Exactly.

[B]

The Indians will take it.

[A]

Saki, Saki, Saki.

[B]

What did you say? That's right. The Brady Report is the the WAP news today. And that is brought to you by All Pro Shade Concepts, Arizona's best patio shades. They got that free installation on all products and free estimates. So you go out there and get an idea. You're like, I think I'm gonna put shade here. They will come up with a plan for you that will be like, whoa, this looks great. And it actually adds a room to your outdoors. Indoor outdoor living is the way to go, especially in this glorious place. We live for being outside for these months. Get a little warm, but it's going to be all right. Just amazing. Me in the 70s again next week. Just cannot wait. And you get a little shade on that. Grab a glass of laminate and sit on your patio and watch some tv because they'll make a room outside. And that is the number one thing in home sales right now where people are like, you know what? I really want some outdoor living space. It's a big deal. And these guys make it look great, make it look professional because they are the best. All Pro Shade concepts allpro shade.com Brett give it to me. All right.

[A]

How you doing? And we'll start off with since Brady, since Brady's not here and it doesn't come up on the sheets that he normally pulls up, I had to go online to find this. Tomorrow, since we're not here, is National Chocolate Souffle Day.

[B]

Ooh.

[A]

And today is one for you. National Strawberry Day, February 27th. And I do have some more food news in here, too.

[B]

I had a Dinner the other night, and they brought out the chocolate and cake in the. It's a birthday dinner. And then they had a little chocolate thing and a little cheesecake. And it's just sitting there, swimming around in strawberry blood. And I'm like, what's all this? They're like, oh, that's the strawberries. I'm like, can I get this without.

[D]

No,

[B]

they always have to add that.

[A]

Scrape it.

[B]

No, I can't do it. Once it touches strawberry juice, I think of the homeless man's nose, and I'm out.

[A]

Just the juice.

[B]

Looking at strawberry anything. All I think, well, that would be the blood. After all the blackheads pop out, homeless guy's nose, all the little white heads and things that he's got. And it pops in your mouth like a strawberry. Same exact texture, same exact shape, same exact look. Except for the seeds in the strawberry are just the blackheads and whiteheads popping out of the homeless guy's nose. Take a bite of a homeless man's nose, I'll ruin strawberries for everybody. At any given time.

[D]

You look at the strawberries, Some of them are white. They look like whiteheads.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. And you pop in your mouth, and every seed that's in your mouth is just the pus and goo from a blackhead. Of a homeless man's nose. A drunk homeless.

[D]

No, sorry. Don't listen to this conversation.

[A]

Go ahead. All right, some baseless fun facts for you. Utah's Great Salt Lake is the largest salt lake in the western hemisphere. It once covered an area larger than Rhode island, but today, more than half of the water is gone, and about 800 square miles of lake bed sits exposed.

[B]

Damn Mormons.

[A]

So, chemtrails. Is that.

[D]

So the salt flats are from the salt lake?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

I mean, obviously, because the water right there.

[B]

Yeah, okay. And then there's the Salton Sea over there by Palm Springs.

[A]

Oh, that's.

[B]

That's gross.

[A]

Drive there, you smell it on the freeway.

[B]

That thing's gross.

[D]

Wow. I've never been. Why would you.

[B]

I don't know if it's salty or not. Is it? It has to be, because it's.

[A]

That. I don't know.

[B]

So bad.

[A]

I think from what I read sometime or some time ago, it was something like all the water from the farms and the fertilizer and stuff drains into it. Because it used to be like a resort back in the day.

[B]

Yeah. Well, it's below sea level, so I don't know if some of it stayed. Oh, that's the chemicals coming out of the alfalfa fields. We do for all those Arabs getting in the water supply, making the frogs homosexuals.

[D]

John, I was watching TV last week. That Reiki healer, I think he won Best in Show.

[B]

No, no, that was a Doberman, not a healerman. The Reiki healer was third behind the old English she dog. Oh, Reiki healer. Boy, they're. They're a good dog. It's a good breed. Very. They got a good energy.

[D]

Very docile. Or.

[B]

Oh, yeah, they hover above you for a while. They don't actually climb on you. Very nice.

[A]

The song Amazing Grace was written by a former slave trader in England, which is something I did not know.

[B]

Really.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Wasn't everyone in England a former slave trader?

[A]

I would think so. The northern cardinal is the most popular state bird, which includes Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia and West Virginia.

[B]

Yeah, so the southern cardinal usually picks first in the NFL Draft.

[A]

Hawaiian Punch was originally developed in 1934 as an ice cream topping. It wasn't sold specifically as a juice until 1946.

[B]

No kidding. Just the powder was a topping or the. They just pour the juice on.

[A]

I think it was just the juice. I think the powder was later, but I don't know. I'm not going to see any title. This. I have no clue.

[B]

God, it's refreshing.

[A]

And since Brady's not here in honor of him, Burger King's making three changes to the Whopper.

[D]

Bigger.

[A]

Well, it's not because they're basically saying that Burger King might be feeling a little bit of a pinch from McDonald's release in the new Big Arch. What was that? The Big Arch. The Thousand Calorie Burger. So they're making changes. The bread's gonna be different. It's swapped out for a more premium, better tasting bun. But don't expect a huge change. It'll still be the same sesame seed coated bun. The packaging will shift. Rather than being wrapped in paper, the upgraded Whopper will be served in a box. This is so that they don't get smushed.

[D]

Huh?

[A]

Weren't they in a box years ago too?

[D]

Yeah, I thought.

[A]

I thought they were.

[B]

I think the Whopper's always been in paper. Really? Yeah.

[A]

Something was.

[B]

Little Big Macs are in a box.

[A]

Well, I remember that. Those were. I thought so.

[B]

You might be right.

[A]

The toppings are also going to get an update. Each Whopper will now come stacked tall with fresh cut onions and tomatoes with crisp lettuce and tangy pickles. Those were already included, so they may be punching up the Process a bit, Adams.

[B]

It's just a bigger whopper with a

[A]

better bun, and it'll be coming with better tasting mayo.

[B]

They said hold the mayo.

[A]

No,

[B]

I'm basically. I'm essentially a black guy when it comes to mayo. No, thank you.

[D]

That's what the box looked like.

[A]

That's the old. Yeah, okay. I thought they came in a box.

[D]

I mean, but that's got the new logo.

[B]

Even at my house, when somebody breaks out mayo, you just hear this, because that's what I turned into immediately.

[A]

And the hellcat flying immediately.

[B]

There's a hellcat just appears in the house like a. Like Grand Theft Auto. I just. I just cheat coded in a hellcat. Mayo is disgusting.

[A]

And I'm telling you, I must have logged into Brady's account to get the news because, well, they're coming out with a Dr. Pepper inspired sausage. This is ridiculous.

[B]

That's not bad, Johnson.

[A]

Johnsonville is a new collaboration with Dr. Pepper, which combines Johnsonville's signature sausage with Dr. Pepper's 23 flavor blend to create a sweet and salty or swalty finish. Now I know where Brady gets.

[B]

Here's the thing.

[A]

Come on.

[B]

You drink Dr. Pepper and eat a sausage. It's the same thing. It's just. Yeah, because you're like, wash it down with the Dr. Pepper. It tastes great. Everything's better with Dr. Pepper.

[A]

Well, and they're saying it's kind of like. It's kind of in honor of, like, a lot of people, I guess, marinate their meats and stuff like that in Coke or Dr. Pepper.

[D]

Yeah, that's true. That Mississippi pot roast is can of Dr. Pepper in the slow cooker.

[B]

Yeah. My buddy Winston just texted and said, come on. I'm shaking my head. Mayo was versatile. Haven't you seen Undercover Brother? Didn't you get a copy of that in the mail there, Winston? Of course it was used as a weapon. It was used as a weapon. Now, it was relatable. I. I related to Undercover Brother himself when they were trying to coerce him with mayonnaise and the White devil.

[A]

All right. Backseat driving is officially the most annoying things passengers do.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Kind of. I don't know if this is really news, but backseat driving is 42%. It said it's one of the 42. 42% of the people say it's the most annoying thing you could do. Leaving trash in somebody's car. That's.

[B]

That's rude.

[A]

Smack in the mouth.

[B]

All right. Jesus.

[A]

Complaining about your driving, which is basically Dr. Pepper can.

[B]

Yeah, you know, you've pissed Brett off in the car when. Yeah. You sit there and you get the. All right, it's been a nice time driving you around a little bit, but hold on a tick. What do we got going on here? What do we got going on here? We're leaving garbage in my car. I don't think you're gonna leave that there.

[D]

Are you eating an orange?

[B]

Oh, no. Sorry about that. Yeah, Leaving orange peels in my rut. Yeah, I don't think you want to do that. Don't make Brett mad.

[A]

These are all just common things. But eating messy or smelly food in the car. Why are you eating in somebody else's car, first of all? Especially smelly food.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And don't break out the corn nuts in somebody's car or something like that, because that stench just lasts.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

Yelling watch out. And there's nothing wrong.

[D]

That's my wife. My wife is. Oh, God.

[B]

Oh, God.

[D]

You're not religious. Stop calling God.

[B]

Get over.

[D]

Get over.

[B]

Watch up. My dad's terrible. My dad. My dad's phrase when he's the past. He grabs the dash the whole time, Both hands on the dash. Watch out for this guy. What? Why? What?

[A]

A woman's driving? Yeah.

[B]

No, it's me. My dad does it to everyone.

[D]

You were with us.

[A]

You remember?

[D]

Larry was doing that to the Waymo.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

What are you doing here? What are you doing here?

[B]

The. Watch out for that guy. My dad. Like, do you think I can't see? There's a guy right there on a phone. I know. Watch out for him. Like, no, I'm gonna watch all the cars, dad. It's my job right now.

[A]

Putting your feet on the dashboard. Yeah, that pisses me off.

[B]

That's a woman thing, too. A man wouldn't do that.

[A]

Changing the radio station without asking.

[B]

Don't touch.

[A]

Well, if country's on, you guys, it doesn't matter what car you're in or

[B]

who's got the aux. Because the aux cord is a thing. If we're plugged into your phone or if you listen to Huncha. Plugged into my phone, probably gonna be listening to, I don't know, Megan Thee Stallion. Yeah,

[A]

slamming the car door too hard is another annoyance. My dad used to get so pissed off. Oh, what are you doing? Closing the door on the goddamn space shuttle? That was literally one of Kurt Veslies yelling break when you're already breaking, and then talking loudly on the phone, like when you're in the car with somebody else.

[B]

That's right. Morning sickness. Medicate kupd.

[F]

All right, HMS podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the valley this week. Hit up the east side to check out Josh Blue performing at the Tempe Improv downtown at Stand Up Live. It's the comedy of Phil Hanley for you this week. And up north of Desert Ridge, you got Zach Rushing and Michael Loftus leading you into the weekend where you can see friend of the show Brian Callan on Friday and Saturday. For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standuplive, desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com have

[D]

you ever wanted to go to the NBA Finals? Well, thanks to our friends at FanDuel, you've now got a chance. It's Dick Toledo from Holberg's morning sickness. And all you have to do is use your profit boost on an NBA future and you'll be entered for a shot to win an NBA finals trip for two. So visit FanDuel.com KUPD for the info and to get started and play your game with FanDuel, official sports betting partner of the NBA 21+ in President Arizona. No purchase necessary. Limit one entry for profit boost token, opt in required. Must apply profit boost token on select market. Restrictions apply. See full terms, including methods of [e-mail] gambling problem. Call or text 1-800- gambler Holmberg's morning sickness.

[B]

Just text. By the way, why are you calling? People made made note of the fact that they they didn't miss that the WAP news included Whopper news. Very impressive.

[A]

Fruit of Alone has created a sweatpant formal suit.

[D]

Oh, no.

[B]

All right. I'm not disinterested.

[A]

Fruit of Loon did a collaboration with a designer overseas to create an an athletic formal suit. And it's a cross between sweatpants and a suit. It's only available from in Japan right now for about 155 bucks. I don't think we got a picture of that.

[B]

Okay. But it's just underwear. It's long johns.

[D]

I'm gonna try and find it.

[A]

Well, no, it sounds like a tracksuit.

[B]

Oh, it's like a suit.

[A]

Well, that's what it's saying.

[B]

Like an underwear suit. It's like.

[A]

No, no, I think.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fruit loom suit.

[A]

I think

[B]

that sounds cozy.

[A]

Comes in black, navy, and at first glance, it looks like a relaxed suit similar to a men's Cardigan, but it's made 100 of cotton T shirt fabric. Oh, oh, wait. There you go. Swim in that.

[B]

Oh, yeah. No. You look like a slob.

[D]

Simmons here.

[B]

Yeah, it does have a Russell Simmons vibe. It's. Man, that looks comfy, though. All right, all right.

[A]

They're taking pre orders right now, and some reports say they may be shipping worldwide. We don't have confirmation on that three piece.

[B]

Like a fru loom tuxedo. Andre says, as a black man, I got to correct you. It's Miracle Whip, not mayo. We love mayo. No, you don't. Undercover Brother. Go watch it. It's the funniest scene. Trying to get him to like man. And then when he. And then when he finally falls for the she devil, the white she devil, Denise Richards. He's, like, eating mayonnaise sandwiches and stuff. He did. He turned. He sold out. The man got him. I was with him. That. That whole point of that movie, I'm like, oh, my God. That's the blackest I can get is I hate mayonnaise as much as anybody. It's gross.

[A]

There's a few things that become attractive only after the age of 25.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Having no plans for the weekend.

[B]

Huge. I told you before the show started, I'm like. I realized it was Friday, and I got excited because OP Live is on, and that's what I realized. I planned my Fridays around

[A]

gray hair that starts coming in on the sides.

[B]

Sexy.

[A]

I'm getting that.

[D]

You just about time.

[A]

Well, yeah, but it's not on top of my head. It's literally on the sides. I'm gonna have the poly walnuts here probably in a year.

[B]

That's good for you.

[A]

I can't wait. If you thought. It's so pissed.

[B]

I have gray sides.

[D]

I'm pretty sure you have gray sides.

[B]

I don't know. Let's not talk about it.

[A]

The top of my head, it's holding up good.

[D]

But I get a little on the beard there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Starting on the beard a little.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Driving a minivan apparently is attractive after 25. No, I don't think so.

[B]

After 25.

[A]

That's what it's. After 25. No. A large, comfortable bed that should be anybody, but yeah.

[D]

California King.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that's. Whatever.

[D]

The other side, there's a size bigger than that, I think.

[B]

Oh, if you could get a bigger bed. Yeah. Cow king's the only way.

[A]

Yeah. High quality vacuum cleaner.

[B]

Wow. That is true. That's very exciting. After 25.

[A]

Yeah. Brady's got one of those. His name. Rodney.

[B]

Yes. Right. Rodney is a good cleaner.

[A]

Getting an air fryer apparently is attractive after 25.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, it's not exciting in college. Like you're not gonna, your friends aren't

[D]

gonna, you're not gonna read the Brady jokes.

[B]

Got an air fryer, bro. A lot of fraternities aren't.

[A]

Well, they used to be the George Foreman girl. Remember that?

[B]

That was built for all of us, man, I miss my George Foreman girl. I used to love that thing.

[A]

All right, the stupid criminal news here. This broad tried to pay someone's bail with movie money. 39 year old woman in Kentucky got arrested after she tried to bail someone out of jail using fake movie money.

[B]

This is happening a lot.

[A]

What?

[B]

This is like the third story. Brady's done a couple of these where people are using movie money to buy stuff.

[A]

And the funny part is the mo. The dot, the, the bills actually said motion picture use only.

[B]

Same thing every time. On the right there on the front of it, it says for motion picture use only. They look real, but they've got that print on them. You can tell.

[A]

39 year old Felicia Howard showed up to jail in Madison, Madisonville, Kentucky on Sunday to pay bail for her man. And it's not clear how she knows him, but the bail was apparently 1400 bucks. She handed him a stack of hundred dollar bills. But they were quickly able to figure it out that the bills are fake because it's literally print, literally printed right on there.

[B]

Isn't that crazy dumb broad. It's happening a ton. So all this movie money has been leaked out into the. Right. Look at your money now.

[A]

And finally, before we get to the videos, should your first drink of the day be coffee or water? And you, you finally just started drinking coffee?

[B]

I hate it. It's awful. I drink a whole pot to start the day. Good God. I drink the entire pot. Wow.

[A]

I don't even do that. I'm like two cups. Yeah, one and a half actually.

[B]

Not out of necessity or flavor because it tastes like garbage.

[D]

You put anything in it?

[B]

Yeah, coffee, like the sugar free hazelnut to make it flavor. Tastes like something tolerable. Coffee's disgusting. And I've just started to do it because everybody said you got to love coffee at a certain age. I'm like, I just don't. Right. And so I started to try to force myself to like it. I do like how I feel drinking coffee and it makes it so I'm not hungry all day. Yes. For some reason I don't eat when I drink the pot of coffee.

[A]

Are you still half hazelnut, half coffee or 3/4 hazelnut?

[B]

But I gotta be a diabetic I'm dumping like a goose.

[A]

Sugar free.

[B]

Oh, okay. Every day when I go home, it's like, this is bad. Like, it is a. Oh, it'll make you regular. It's that thing that Augustus Gloop got caught in. It's the chocolate River. It's awesome. And I feel so good. And it's all cough. Since I've done the coffee thing, it's been. It's fantastic, but I can't tolerate the flavor. Water. Never drink that.

[A]

A doctor and dietitian both weighed in and said it really doesn't matter for most people, but they do agree that drinking water first thing in the morning hydrates you and kick starts your day. And so there's water.

[D]

Yeah, that was my theory.

[B]

Yeah, there's water and everything. It's a diuretic.

[D]

It's got water in it.

[B]

So I'm not. So it'll pee it out. Big deal. Am I going to hydrate? I'm not drinking coffee to go jogging.

[A]

That's about it. Let's get to the videos. Let me pull up for Friday.

[B]

Brian Callan's coming today. Yeah.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Awesome. Desert Ridge Improv, 8am Word is Sandman. One word. If you're still looking at that, I haven't gotten it yet. You got a few more minutes to get there. Another 20 or 30 minutes to get there. That done. Sandman for the Metallica word of the hour. Go ahead, Brad.

[A]

And I'm flying blind with these. I didn't get a chance.

[B]

Oh, boy.

[A]

We'll see. We'll start with.

[B]

Oh, I don't like when you don't know. I know a lot of times that means there's, like, beheadings and stuff.

[A]

This was entitled My Milkshake.

[B]

Okay. Oh, no. All right. It's a girl. Oh, she's. Oh, my God.

[D]

I was telling you. That's what happens.

[B]

This is a lactating woman and she just did a pump on her nipples and they turned into.

[D]

And those.

[B]

They're gargantuan. They're huge. That's what happens to a woman's lactating nipples.

[D]

Start at the beginning.

[B]

These are the biggest nipples I've ever got. Wow.

[D]

That is what happens.

[B]

High five, Brad. To all of them.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

When you. That's what happens.

[B]

A woman's nipples turn into thumbs.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Well, in that case, Troy and Michael may be right at that point.

[B]

Troy and Michael are right. I'd rather poop wiener than thumb nipple. Thumbnail's a good band name.

[A]

This one is entitled How Long Is this Going to Take.

[B]

Oh, wow. This is a lady with her legs spread open. She's got, like, a. Well, right now she's like when I. Okay, okay, let me explain. How long is this going to die? Oh, that was in her butt.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

I didn't even notice that.

[B]

You know when, like, a clown pulls handkerchiefs out of his pocket and it never ends? This lady's doing it with a purple sex toy.

[D]

Looks like a balloon animal.

[B]

And at this point, it is got to be 7ft long, and the whole thing's in her, and she slowly pulls it out, and then it makes that noise.

[A]

The sound effect.

[B]

Yeah, it's pretty good. Let's watch it.

[D]

Two feet, three feet right there.

[B]

We're two feet out with about two and a half. How long is this going to take? It just keeps coming out. And there you go. That's just the seven feet. Where do you buy that, man?

[F]

All right.

[A]

Scared with this one. Put all three in there is what the title of it is.

[B]

Okay, here we go. Number two in the videos for Friday. Oh, we got a three arms in a woman's butt. There are three.

[D]

What is going on with her?

[B]

Hold on. There's three hands at a woman's bottom. Oh, the. The Arby's package is disgusting.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

She looks pretty outside of that. So she's pushing one of the arms a little deeper. I think one of the arms has a tattoo of Mick Jagger as the queen screaming with devil H. We have three hands in a butt, and she seems okay with it, so she's had to work up to that.

[D]

And like you said, the Arby's. What was happening.

[B]

I assume if she's got three hands in her butt, she's done some damage on the other thing.

[A]

This one, last but not least, this is entitled stapler.

[B]

Okay. This one's. Oh, my God. We've got a person with a swing line up against their. What is it? Stapling. Oh, God. All right, we're stapling labia to a leg. She's staping. Stapling.

[D]

Medical stapler, isn't it?

[B]

It is. It's one of those strong wound healing. Oh, look at that. Nightmare. Holy. She has stapled her lips to her legs.

[A]

She's got the plug in, too, and

[B]

she's wearing a butt plug.

[A]

So there you go.

[B]

I just want to introduce her to Marcy today. Marcy, this is my. Why is she walking that way? John, I'll. I'll show you later.

[E]

Wow.

[D]

How do you remove.

[A]

I wish I was Brady at this point.

[B]

That's Nobody doing that. All right. There you go. That is gross. Well, thank you. Yes. The Metallica word to disappear to the sphere for 8am is Sandman. Get on that sandman. We got Brian Callan, another of my favorite people on the planet, coming in here. Brian joins us. Is that true? Yeah, we've got, oh, we've got a clip of him saying we've had a

[A]

hell of a week.

[B]

It's a good week. Brewer on Wednesday, Josh Blue yesterday.

[D]

Surgery our weeks after.

[B]

No kidding. We had to make up for the week I had off. This is a good one. Brian Callan joins us next. It's 98 Arizona's most powerful, powerful rock radio station.

[D]

College basketball fans, FanDuel just handed you a tool that makes every college hoops parlay worth more. It's called the Boost Builder. You get a boost builder to use on any two plus leg college basketball parlay. Start building your parlay and each leg you add increases your boost all the way up to 105%. Just open the FanDuel app, choose your college hoops market, apply your boost token and watch the percentage climb. Head to fanduel.com kupd to get started. 21/in President Arizona Opt in required minimum 2 leg parlay required bonus issued is non withdrawable Boost builder tokens restrictions apply including any token expiration and max wager amounts. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 53342.

[B]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness to tell you about the Core Institute. People who met me found out that I've had four major operations in the last four years. They're blown away. I've had both shoulders replaced and both hips replaced because I was an absolute disaster before my surgeries. I was in pain. Now no one knows I've had any issues. People who hear multiple surgeries assume they'll never be the same again. It's just not true. I'm better than I' been in 20 years. Stop quitting the things you love and get back to being the pain free you you love. The Core Institute. Com.