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John Holmberg
It's John Holberg here from the morning Sickness. Time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins dot com. Another satisfied listener called TV's Doug Hopkins and sold her home for cash. She reached out. Her name's Ashley, and Doug wants to make it simple. Buy your house for cash as is. You don't have to do anything. Just like Ashley, no strings attached. If he moves that price, you get $5,000. Want to sell that place? Start the process online@doug hopkins.com or grab
Brady
the phone and sing hopkins.
Announcer
1-800-sale now you know when you're looking for your fix. Comedy. Here in the Valley, we have three amazing clubs that feature some of the best comedians in the world. Up on the north end of town, you can visit the beautiful Desert Ridge Improv. Downtown in cityscape, you've got stand up live and east side. Right there in the heart of asu, it's the legendary Tempe Improv. Plenty of entertainment for you and your guests and you can even grab some food and drink. So see why the Valley is a comedy destination and get your tickets by going to desertridgeimprov.com standuplive.com and tempeimprov.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.
Brady
The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Here's another word. No, this is good. This is easy. Trujillo was tough for some people. They were. It's not working. And then they'd send me their T R, U, H, like, no, G. Fuel is the word for 8am Fuel.
Brett Veseley
Have we done that one before?
Brady
Letters, probably. Okay, well, there's gonna be some repeats. Let's not. There's a lot, a lot of words to. I don't know. I think Larry had to come up with all these on his own. So he just sat and stared at metallic albums and one word at a time.
Brett Veseley
John Gordon. Do it.
Brady
I bet you Gordon had something to do with this. But fuel is the word for 8:00am Put it in the app. Go to the app there. 98KUPD or 98KUPD.com. Go to our. Our website and do that as well. Put it in the 8 o' clock box.
Brett Veseley
Can you spell Trujillo?
Brady
No. It's over. Just Google it, dude.
Brett Veseley
I mean, well, I know, but like this came in at like 7:30.
Brady
Just Google it. No. Can you spell Trujillo? Yes. The answer is yes, I can.
DeAndre
Can you?
Brady
That's the game. Can you spell Trujillo? You live in Arizona, open a phone book, go to T. There's 14 pages of them. By the way, before we get on with anything, Brady and I were talking about this off the air. Have you seen Alex Jones's most recent? This is pretty good stuff. He. He's got a new conspiracy that I'm all in on.
DeAndre
Where are the men in this country? Where are this world? What the hell have we become? And he goes, well, it's happened. Here we go.
Brady
And I'm like, oh, this will be good. And he looks a little distraught. He's not bright red. So this one's not bothering him that much.
DeAndre
I just found out from a very credible source. I mean, this is real stuff. That Turning Point USA CEO Erica Kirk is pregnant.
Brady
And I'm like, oh, geez, that. And I'm in my brain. I'm like, oh, boy.
DeAndre
And here's the worst part of it all. Evidently Candace Owens, who used to be friends with Charlie Kirk, but then they became sort of enemies. And the reason why is because Candace Owens is Big Mike, too, and got Erica Kirk pregnant. And I'm like, like, oh, my God.
Brady
I didn't see that at all. He should have written for soap operas. Nothing about this guy is like, that's. That is a creative story.
DeAndre
I have it on good authority. Candace Owens, yes, she is a man. Big Mike talked her into this. Big Mike, too. Now Candace Owens has put a baby in Erica Kirk. I talked about this before Charlie got shot, that he was worried that his wife and the male version of Candace Owens were having sex. And of course, month after he was gone, they continued their nonsense. And she's impregnated. Now they're going to have a mocha child.
Brady
The best part is, is that Alex Jones did this.
DeAndre
He's like, I got to get it out.
Brady
He's sitting at, like, a panda express in the parking.
DeAndre
Like, no, I got to do it now. I can't. This news can't wait. I've got to break it before someone else will.
Brady
Don't worry about it. Nobody else knows about this but you.
DeAndre
And that'll come out now, and you'll see in a few years, you'll see that I was 100 right about this. It makes me sad because she was cheating on Charlie. And now we know. Brady, there's absolutely no way that. That. What can we do about it? Well, what we can do about it is solve the mystery. We're getting the Scooby Doo Mystery Machine, and we find out who really shot Charlie. Because right now, I think it might be that Erica and Candace, we're in on it together to save their mocha baby. So mark my words, right now, Erica Kirk is considering maybe having an abortion. Which she's very, very vehemently against outwardly, but inside she cannot have a transgender Ladies mocha baby. Just can't happen.
Co-host/Friend
Well, that blend. That might be a frog baby.
DeAndre
Might be one of those gay frogs now that's because the chemtrails. Brady, you're not wrong. Because whatever you say, I might believe, no matter how far fetched it is, I might report it.
Co-host/Friend
Enjoy the orange chicken.
DeAndre
Well, yeah, I gotta go in there and get my. That's good stuff. I love the Panda express. You know what? That. You know what pisses me off about the panda? The big country. It's not real panda meat. Which they promised with the name Panda Express. Delicious panda at a reasonable price. That isn't real. I don't just. But you know what? You can't pass up the orange chicken no matter how much they lie. I don't care if it's. They tell you right there the title. I mean between that and Tom Hanks eating babies, that orange chicken is panda meat. And the Chinese spread Covid through it. And New Covet's coming. New Cove. It's like new Coke July 6th. And then covert original recipe comes back six months later. We all remember how much we like that.
Brady
Yeah. So he lost his mind and I giggled for 20 minutes because I thought to myself, this. This guy. What if he's right? Your brain does that now. What if he's right?
DeAndre
Even pushing that trans agenda the whole time. Wouldn't it make more sense that Charlie Kirk found out that his wife was having sexual relations with a. A dick? Having Candace Owens and then they make babies because that's they weren't using protection. That's against God. But then again, so is having a dick and dressing like a woman. It's very confusing. I just know that it makes me sad.
Brady
Good. And wait, there's a line inside.
DeAndre
I'll just wait till that dissipates. But in the meantime, listen to this. You don't like it. You don't like what I'm saying. My name is DeAndre. Los Angeles Lakers. Take it up with me.
Brady
Also, before we get into this other stuff. And as the my inner Alex Jones is starting to grow and fertilize itself and become more of who I am thinking my future is going to be, what in the is going on in the Jim Carrey world? Have you been watching that? Yeah. At first I thought, oh, you people. But then they started to break down this Jim Carrey thing at this French awards show clone. And he's got different colored eyes and his nose is different and, and at
John Holmberg
first I thought Jim Carrey's winning this
Brady
because I, I assumed he was doing an Andy Kaufman thing because he became Andy Kaufman and got weird after that. A movie he did. But as I watched it, I'm like, they got him. And then I'm like, oh my God, that's my inner Alex Jones saying those words.
DeAndre
They got him. They got him. And now he's just a mouthpiece. They've put the real one down into a basement of the for he won't see. The problem is he has to worship Moloch in the cult, but he won't do it. So they put him away in the basement where celebrities go when they don't behave and they get replaced. Just like what happened to Kelly Osborne
Brady
and that one, I believe.
DeAndre
And also what happened to Ariana Grande and that lady she's in Wicked with. Jim Carrey's been warning us for years that they were going to try to take him. And now they have.
Brady
And then Demi Moore.
Co-host/Friend
Look at that.
DeAndre
That's not.
Brady
That might be Bill Maher. I don't know that that's Jim Carrey.
Guest/Caller
Bill Maher, Val Kilmer.
Brady
Yeah, very Val Kilmer. But again, he could have gone with
Co-host/Friend
some color contacts, you know.
Brady
Why?
Co-host/Friend
I don't know.
Brady
He's never done it before.
Brett Veseley
That's Maverick. Val Kilmer right there.
Brady
Yeah, it was. Exactly. It was the cant. And then I started to worry maybe Jim Carrey's sick. It looks like he's on the prednisone. That makes your face moon faced like you've got a kidney disorder. No offense, Brady, but that happens.
Guest/Caller
That nose.
Brady
But the nose is a different shape and maybe it's bad fillers.
John Holmberg
But you can't imagine Jim Carrey, who was the elastic faced comedian would ever freeze his face.
Brady
What?
DeAndre
What's going on, Brady? Where's the mask and why is the mask.
Brady
Guy in a mask looks like John Jay?
DeAndre
It does. He looks like John Jay. He looks like John Jay. And nobody tries to look like John Jay. You lose a battle and they make
Brady
you look like John Jay.
DeAndre
It's a punishment.
Guest/Caller
This is your face on fillers.
DeAndre
This is your face on John Jay.
Brady
But it's not your face on fillers. Don't change your eye color. That's true at all. And nobody gets add that much to your nose. Nobody gets fillers in their nose. Trust Me.
Co-host/Friend
Is that the only photo that they have?
Brady
The old one on the left? You mean here?
Co-host/Friend
Those two side by side.
Brady
I'm sure there's more. Well, that's a.
John Holmberg
That's a.
Co-host/Friend
Did they have the award?
Brady
Well, that's a clip from the red carpet after he got the award, where he was. But this is a guy who used to go on award shows and say it's all fake and there's child trafficking and all this other. All of a sudden he's like praising. It's something. Right?
Guest/Caller
You'll question that as AI, but not the videos that you share with us.
Brady
Who, me?
Co-host/Friend
No, I wasn't questioning. I was just wondering if that was. They got other stuff. Other.
Brady
Jess. Jesse says, man, I didn't hear him talk. John, Alex Jones has been more right than wrong lately. So I'm going to wait this out nine months and see if Mocha baby pops out of Erica. If it does. If that happens, and we have to start taking Alex Jones seriously, like, real seriously. Donovan says, I don't care. Dick or not, I'd watch Erica Kirk and Candace Owens get it on. That's a different topic. Of course we'd watch that. An Instagram influencer said he was cosplaying Jim.
John Holmberg
I've heard that too.
Guest/Caller
And that here he is explaining it.
John Holmberg
Apparently that to me.
Brady
Well, that's AI. This is. This isn't. This is him pretending to be Jim Carrey in person. Now, here's the fun thing about that. He can cosplay it all day long, but that would make Jim Carrey the one pulling the trick. Because, you know, I wrote it and I researched it and I. But he's holding the award. So Jim Carrey basically did what Andy Kaufman used to do was create a fake version of himself to wander and pretend to be receiving their award. And I was like, I sound like him, but. And I made mistakes and I was like a novice. It's crazy. It's so weird. If you haven't been following the fake Jim Carrey thing, it's more fun than anything else that's going on in the world, believe it or not.
Dick Toledo
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John Holmberg
It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness to tell you about the Core Institute. People who met me found out that I've had four major operations in the last four years. They're blown away. I've had both shoulders replaced and both hips replaced because I was an absolute disaster before my surgeries. I was in pain. Now no one knows I've had any issues. People who hear multiple surgeries assume they'll never be the same again. It's just not true. I'm better than I've been in 20 quitting the things you love and get back to being the pain free you you love. The Core Institute.com Holmberg's morning sickness
DeAndre
that's just how it is. The girl from Oz, the wicked, the black lady. She they got her. They got Kelly Osborne.
Brady
And Kelly Osborne has to stop telling people to lay off, to back off,
Co-host/Friend
because I'm going through.
Brady
They're trying to help. Yeah, I'm to going then stop showing up at this stuff all dolled up. I don't know what's going on with Kelly Osborne, but I know it's not good.
Brett Veseley
Shit's terrible.
Brady
Yeah, if consider it, consider it helpful that people are saying to you, hey, we're worried. You have to say something. It's the same when Lizzo get mad or say you're too fat, you're going to die of diabetes.
Listener/Caller
Stop body shaming me.
Brady
So we're not. We're actually trying to help you. Or if people who care about you will tell you this, this is something you need to hear. Same on the other side. Kelly's I don't know if it's Ozempic or what, but looking like a corpse isn't sexy. Demi Moore last night walking into that. They don't call it SAG awards anymore. Actors. Yeah, the actors were the picture of her going in and she just did a movie about how body image morphing is dangerous and it turns you into a monster. And I saw her last night and her bones are showing her jaw and her. It's terrifying. I don't know when this happened, but. And people are now saying it's a confirmed imposter. But is it confirmed?
Guest/Caller
Well, the imposter came out and said it was him. And they have video of him signing with. Signing autographs with his right hand. Jim Carrey's left handed.
Brady
He broke down all this other stuff. Is he in? Like, Jim Carrey's in on it. Has to be, right? So the Internet was right. It is fake. And Jim Carrey's pulled one over on you, which was my first thought. Like, if that's not him, he's in on it. But something else is going on too.
DeAndre
They're. They're getting you the Illuminati.
Brady
Anyway, I believe it all.
Co-host/Friend
They take the award back.
Brady
The French. They won't surrender. Don't worry about it. They're coming in hot. Nope. They're gonna give him the award. Yeah, he got us. Good one, Jim Carrey, you prick.
DeAndre
Never.
Brady
Note to self, Never give Jim Carrey another world again.
Guest/Caller
He's like, yeah.
Brady
Anyway, Fuel is the 8 o' clock word. It's time now for Brady to give you all the other news that isn't driving me nuts. And it's brought to you by our friends@allprochade.com it's hot. 91 degrees today. It was hot all weekend. Sitting in the shade was a great thing. If you don't have any in your house. Well, you can change all that by going to allprochade.com and getting the gang who's been doing this for 20 plus years at your place to design a beautiful shady outdoor living space which will make your house a little bit better. They make it look good, like it's supposed to be there. Not like it's just haphazardly tossed together. Like, you know, Tom Hanks from Castaway built your shade system. They do a good one all prochet.com that's where you go.
DeAndre
Brady reported.
Co-host/Friend
Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello world.
DeAndre
Hey, Brady.
Co-host/Friend
Happy National Old stuff day. Basically get clean out your closet, your garage declutter and get rid of that old stuff Cleaning day. It's almost spring. Cleaning.
Guest/Caller
No, I mean, like.
Co-host/Friend
And it's also vaginas.
Brady
What?
Co-host/Friend
What? National Read Across America Day.
Brady
Yeah, I'll just do it here.
Guest/Caller
Another thing in, like, school, like, grade
Brady
school, Read Across America, the book day where you got. Yeah. You had to sit in the Scholastic
Guest/Caller
books, had to wait for your order to come in.
Brady
That was the. I got an angry email because in sixth grade, and my. I had. Honestly, my teacher's name was Mr. Rogers. He was awesome, but that was his name. So, you know, first couple months was pretty fun. But on book, like, Read Books Day. Tried to read as many as you could in a school day. And you were allowed to build forts and stuff in the classroom. So you could put desks together and. And you go in and you'd read a book as fast as you could. And you try to get, like, five or six. And the smart kids took it seriously. And us dummies just around in forts. And I got into a fort with a girl named Amber and a girl named Sharla.
Brett Veseley
All right.
Brady
Yeah. And Amber was joking. And then Charlotte, I rolled over, and Sharla and I touched mouths, open mouths. There was no tongue, because I don't think we were smart enough to know that. And I laid on top of her in the fort for a second and touched open mouths with her, like we were sharing a sandwich.
DeAndre
And then laughed.
Brady
And then that was kind of sort of a kiss, but it wasn't. And I remember telling that story. And then I got an email, like, two days later because I used her last name. And she goes, I don't know who the you are.
DeAndre
But that never happened. Yes, it did.
Brady
You went to Roosevelt Elementary School. I was like, I don't know you. I'm like, that doesn't mean it didn't happen. A lot of people, though. I just happen to have a memory for sixth grade. My whole class.
John Holmberg
I remember everybody.
Brady
I remember Stephanie had her period right next to me in a pair of white shorts. I didn't know what periods were, but I know after that, you'll learn that one when the girl next to you bursts into tears out of nowhere and looks down, and then she's bleeding on her butt.
Co-host/Friend
You got ketchup?
Brady
No, I didn't say ketchup.
John Holmberg
I knew.
Brady
I thought she'd been bitten, like, by
John Holmberg
a snake or something.
Brady
Because we had a kid in the class named Raji, too. So there's a good chance his lunchbox had a cobra in it or viper or something. She got hit. Viper strike. Oh, that's a shame. Right in the so she emailed me an angry email, and I said, you were on the aquatics team.
John Holmberg
I know you.
DeAndre
How do you know all this?
Brady
Because I was there. We touched mouths. My husband heard that. I'm like, we were in sixth grade.
John Holmberg
Is he mad at this?
Brady
Back and forth. We went for a little bit.
Co-host/Friend
Got a couple of baseless fun facts. All government buildings in Finland have a sauna on site. Nationwide, there is more than one sauna for every two fins.
Brady
Wait, say it again.
Co-host/Friend
One sauna for every two people in Finland.
Brady
Oh. Oh. Finn's. Oh. Trying to think something else. The finish.
Co-host/Friend
Baby sea otters can't. Can't swim right away, so their moms wrap them in pieces of kelp until they learn how to paddle around on their own.
Brady
Oh, and then eat. They crack shells on their bellies.
Co-host/Friend
Maybe you know this one. The sum of all the numbers on a roulette wheel add up to.
Brady
Oh, I don't know that.
Co-host/Friend
606.
DeAndre
Oh, I did know that. Yeah.
Brady
Oh, wow. Yeah.
DeAndre
Brady's all. It's all part of a plan. It's all, all of it.
Brady
The Kabbalah.
DeAndre
It's all right in front of you. They try to. They try to tell you pizza parties. Come on, count how many times they bring up pizza. That basically is code for child molestation. It's in the Epstein files.
Co-host/Friend
John Cazale, who is Fredo Corleo, only appeared in five movies from when his career started in 1967 until he died at the age of 42 in 1978. All five were nominated for the Oscar for Best Picture.
Brett Veseley
I can name four. I can't name the fifth.
Co-host/Friend
The Godfather.
Brett Veseley
Both Godfathers. The Deer Hunter.
Brady
One, two.
Brett Veseley
Dog Day Afternoon. I can't remember the last one.
Brady
Yeah. What's five?
Co-host/Friend
The Conversation.
Brett Veseley
All right, enough Italians in that one for me.
Brady
No, I got the other one. Either is the Conversation. The Conversation's not. That's My Dinner with Andre. What's the Conversation? Don't know. I don't either.
Co-host/Friend
Data shows that men are mostly responsible for talk, taking the trash out, and car maintenance. 33% of men say they enjoy taking out the trash.
Brady
What a low bar you've set for entertainment.
John Holmberg
You know, I really enjoy this.
Brady
I wish there was more trash to take out. I, I, I guess if there were more trash, I wouldn't enjoy it as much. I look forward to it. I love when a bag is full. You know why? Because he hates you, lady. And he just wants out of the house, even if it's for a few seconds.
Co-host/Friend
46 of the men say they like doing the yard work.
Brady
I used to, until I realized how stupid it was. You put turf down and you're like, oh, oh, this is the way to go.
Co-host/Friend
The new viral dating term is alpine divorce.
Brady
Okay?
Co-host/Friend
That's where you go out with your
Brady
significant other, shove them down a ski
Co-host/Friend
run, you go hiking or bike on a trail, and you break up with them on the trail and leave them.
Brady
Oh, my God. You take them into the rugged, deep woods, and you.
Co-host/Friend
Yeah.
DeAndre
Leave them for dead.
Co-host/Friend
Yep. You go out, date in nature, take a hike, camping, Camping trip, bike ride,
Brady
and you leave them in the woods.
Co-host/Friend
Then one abandons the other in the wilderness to fend for themselves.
John Holmberg
Why?
Brady
Why can't you just say this isn't working out in the car?
Co-host/Friend
Hilarious. They like the alpine divorce.
Brady
I mean, it is.
Co-host/Friend
Yeah.
Brett Veseley
Come on.
Brady
At least you're making. Well, you know what? I want it to be memorable.
Announcer
Right.
Brett Veseley
Always remember.
Brady
You know why, Brett? Because women want a proposal to be memorable, and men want the divorce to be memorable.
Co-host/Friend
Right.
Brady
It's so. It's kind of our day. Don't ruin this. This is our day.
Brett Veseley
That's brilliant.
Brady
You take her out, you put cups on the freeway over ramp. I want a divorce. Yeah. You make it like a proposal, only the op. You're proposing something that will last forever. Divorce. Unless it's Brett's parents, which they couldn't get it right three times.
Brett Veseley
I know.
Brady
Divorce. Married again. Divorce. Marry and divorce. Live together.
Brett Veseley
That happens.
Co-host/Friend
Apparently, there's a wellness trend going around that involves seasoning your kids. This lady is saying she. She calls it halo therapy. It's a form of alternative medicine involving salt. There's no real science backing it up, but that won't stop her from doing the her own research.
Brady
So fat people in America are now making their kids smell like roasted chickens from Safeway.
Co-host/Friend
She puts up the. The video, she salts, pours salt all over the tile floor, and the kids play in the salt, so they don't ingest it. It's just assault therapy. It's like. And some of those spas, they'll have those salt rooms where they.
Brady
Yeah, you don't roll around on the floor, though, there.
Co-host/Friend
Yeah, I know. So she takes it to the next level, whether, since they're playing in it, they'll be, you know, inhaling.
Brady
I don't think it's about getting inhale. I think it's on their skin. So.
Co-host/Friend
Yeah.
Brady
Tastes better when salt's kind of boring.
John Holmberg
It's John Holmberg here for Life Changer Loans. Whether you're buying a home trying to refinan or improve things financially. You got to focus on one thing. Clarity. You don't have to do it the old way. Life Changer Loan is here to help. Call my friend Shane o' Grady at Life Changer Loan and see if it's for you. Good credit, good with money. There is more than just the old fashioned bank loan. And if you want to see what's possible financially in your life that's different than what you're doing now, start@lifechangerloan.com Life Changer Loan it's not magic, it's just math. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness. And I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my friends@liftedtrucks.com youm've heard me mention Kevin Costner, Trey McBride, other countless celebrities and pro athletes and how they chose lifted trucks. But that doesn't mean it's only for actors and pro athletes.
Brady
It's for all of you.
John Holmberg
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Brady
Holmberg's morning sickness.
DeAndre
When the Clintons show up and they need baby meat because they eat humans, that's probably what you're doing.
Brett Veseley
Some of them fatty's are gonna pour ranch dressing all over the floor too.
Brady
Well, rubs and stuff.
Co-host/Friend
Interesting you mentioned that.
Brett Veseley
Oh, no.
Co-host/Friend
The Great Wolf Lodge just rolled out the ranch milkshake.
Brady
Oh, it's coming true, gang. I told you.
Co-host/Friend
It's ice cream with some ranch. And then they put some fried chicken in there. Fried chicken nuggets and carrots and celery.
Brett Veseley
Sounds terrible. Oh, you gonna try it?
Brady
Oh, he'll try it. He's like Mikey right now.
Brett Veseley
Let's go for lunch. Let's go for lunch.
John Holmberg
You would try that.
Brady
You went to a goat restaurant. I'll do the goat if you. You're not gonna go out of your way. But if somebody offered you a ranch milkshake, you'd try it. You'd try.
Co-host/Friend
It ruins a milkshake.
Brady
It is a milkshake. Dairy. What's the difference? You'd try taste.
DeAndre
You would.
Brady
You wouldn't know until you tried it. You would suck that thing down halfway before. You'd be like, I don't like it.
Listener/Caller
One more Try.
Brady
You know what? I. Here's my prediction. When Brady does try that even if he doesn't like it, you're going to hear this noise.
Listener/Caller
Well, I drank all of it and I didn't like it. But they say it takes three to get a full like test, so.
Co-host/Friend
Gotta go back.
DeAndre
Line them up.
Co-host/Friend
Police in Georgia had to make a. Had to warn parents that the cut water lemon drop martini is not apple juice. Evidently a parent packed the kids lunch and grabbed the can, thought it was the apple juice.
Brady
Oops.
Co-host/Friend
And the cut water school.
Brady
In the lunch, he gave him a cut water and a buzz ball.
DeAndre
That's awesome.
Brady
That's pretty. There's a picture of the great work, by the way. I just got a text from somebody that says the seasoning. Kids. Things make sense now. Last year I spent a weekend smelling like Doritos cool ranch rub and I didn't know what was happening. Now I do. Signed, Caitlyn. Oh, no. Brady took that girl, poured cool ranch dressing in her bed and made a roll in it.
Brett Veseley
That's a nice packed lunch.
Brady
Where are you and Kirby and Caitlin going this summer? Have you made plants yet?
Co-host/Friend
We haven't decided.
Brady
Well, Caitlin makes no decisions. Where are you taking them is the better question.
Co-host/Friend
We might go on a carnival cruise.
Brady
I'm gonna pick strawberries and yes, yes, and yes.
Listener/Caller
We're gonna dress Katelyn up as Nancy Guthrie and just.
Co-host/Friend
Too far.
John Holmberg
No, it's not.
Listener/Caller
We're not going that far. San Diego again. I got pretty predictable.
Co-host/Friend
I just have one sighting of Nancy.
Listener/Caller
There she is.
Brady
Look at that. We're going viral.
Co-host/Friend
I put the plants in the camera.
Listener/Caller
Put the wig on Caitlyn.
Brady
There's Nancy Guthrie. She smells like Doritos.
Co-host/Friend
We might have done this one, but it's a motorcycle ramming into a car.
DeAndre
Never bad.
Co-host/Friend
Does multiple flips into the canal.
Brady
It's a terrible area. Bad roads and palm trees.
DeAndre
Oh.
Co-host/Friend
Oh, man.
Brady
40ft over the car that hits him. Does a triple and lands in water I didn't know was there. That's probably sewer in that. Look at the triple Lindy.
Brett Veseley
He pulled off.
John Holmberg
He almost landed.
Co-host/Friend
Scores.
John Holmberg
How close was he to landing feet first?
Brady
One, two. Ah, no, he goes in head first. That's a neck injury. Gotta learn. Yeah. Boy, those vitamins tell you, man.
Guest/Caller
I think he looked like he landed on his.
Brady
No, he lands on his head.
Guest/Caller
I think so.
Brady
Pause it. Okay, scoot. That looks like his pants fall up. No, his head. I think his head goes into the bank.
Co-host/Friend
Man, their minivans just don't hold up.
Brady
Well, that mini had a minivan just fell apart. The dude's going 70 miles an hour on a motorcycle.
Brett Veseley
But team you van.
Brady
It is kind of a teemu. It's the Teemu. The Teemu Wind star. I think a bicycle would have totaled that thing. All right, Bert, what do you got while doing this? Fuel. Somebody just asked. Fuel is the eight o' clock word. Fuel.
Brett Veseley
Kim sent this one over. A little gym action here.
Brady
A girl sent it. Oh, no, Kim's a guy. All right, here we go.
Brett Veseley
Some bros maybe.
DeAndre
Nope.
Brett Veseley
Come on.
Brady
Oh, Brett's having trouble with his computer. Refresh, Brett refresh.
Co-host/Friend
Birthday shout out. Happy Brian. Who? Eric Brian.
John Holmberg
Oh yeah, it's there.
Brady
And you know who else's birthday from Ma'? Am?
John Holmberg
Margie birthday as well.
Brady
There you go. A couple birthday shout outs while we load up.
Brett Veseley
There you go.
DeAndre
All right.
Brett Veseley
Nice stretch, Brady.
Brady
This is. You're welcome.
John Holmberg
£420.
Brady
He's 14 years old and he's doing a bench press at 420. When they let this go, there's going to be one less 14 year old. It's. He's got it pushed up.
John Holmberg
Oh, I was right. Oh, he's dead.
Brady
There's no way he's.
Co-host/Friend
I thought this was AI.
Brady
There's no way.
Brett Veseley
I don't know if it is or
Co-host/Friend
not, but you know the kids reaction after that bar.
Brady
Well, it's internal bleeding. Oh my God. I don't know.
Co-host/Friend
Yeah, I mean that I would think that would just absolutely crush.
John Holmberg
It bounced.
Brady
Your rib cage is resilient, but the internal bleeding plates four on each side. He's got about £20. He's got about seven steps before he needs to go to the hospital. Now
Brett Veseley
here's some camping action and. Well, not probably Apache Junction.
Brady
Yeah, it's in somebody's backyard. We're in a backyard camping. There's a tent, a guy's pov. He picked up a needle and he
John Holmberg
just chucked it at his friend and he buries it in his calf. He finds an Apache Junction meth needle
Brady
and he just jokingly throws it at his friend and he sticks him with it. Don't do that.
Guest/Caller
That's an ass beat.
John Holmberg
Right before the AIDS kicks in.
Brady
I'm kicking the living out of you.
Brett Veseley
I don't know if this is AI or not.
Brady
No. How did you get hepatitis? Well, a friend of mine threw a dirty dart at me and that's not true. You, you know, have to tell you I can't have sex with anybody again without saying I got. Hep C. From a dickhead. Not that way.
Brett Veseley
I don't know if this is AI or not, but this is some Toledo vacation videos.
Brady
Is this the soccer game?
Brett Veseley
No.
Brady
Oh, these two. That's Brady.
Co-host/Friend
It did look like the soccer.
Brady
It's a crippled guy with a Roman candle. He's got a Roman candle. He's shooting it at other cripples. And one cripple pulled up. He's got the top of a trash can, and he's using it as a shield while the one. Another squid cripple scooch forward to him. Oh, now this one's. Oh, they're gonna fight.
Co-host/Friend
This is the soccer game. Oh, yes.
Brady
It's a. It's a spinning leg kick from a. From a. Basically a snail with a human body on top of it.
Dick Toledo
They have the same affliction. Is that the same mother?
Brett Veseley
I don't know.
Brady
It's the same water supply in whatever cruddy country that is. They're. They're snail people. Yeah, they're snailing around, but they don't have shells or anything.
Brett Veseley
And this is one of those ones where you. Hermit crab for the animal.
Co-host/Friend
Yes.
Brady
And they're out of their shell. That might be just giant hermit crabs. Brady's right.
Brett Veseley
Elephants taking on Indians off.
Brady
Elephants running down. Oh, one guy fell down like a bad movie. Here comes the elephant. Oh, here he. Oh, he's squishing to do it.
John Holmberg
I didn't see that guy.
Co-host/Friend
And that is just a bag of bones.
Brady
Caught one of them. And now the elephant is just whipping him around. Pissed him off. Not the animal you want to make. Oh, man, he's making. Mince me to this. Dude, stop. Wow. Could you imagine run out of peanuts? We live in a city where we're just afraid of scorpions. Can you imagine looking out in the front yard and seeing that? Like, they're around?
Co-host/Friend
Yeah, I would. Interesting, because I called that Dr. Rattlesnake training last year. Would it do elephant training?
Brady
No, we wouldn't, because the dog was.
DeAndre
Is no match.
Brett Veseley
Doug could just give you the five grand. I'm not buying over there.
Brady
No $5,000 to just leave me out.
Co-host/Friend
I'm out.
Brett Veseley
And then this just.
Brady
This is ridiculous.
Brett Veseley
This isn't that. It's all right. But it's one of those ones where it solidifies, well, I will never go to Mardi Gras.
Brady
Oh, we're in Mardi Gras. Apparently somebody's eating the butt of a woman. Is that a man?
Brett Veseley
I think it is. That's eating ass.
Brady
Right? Just challenged his little anal Angus right there in the. And people are gathered around throwing cakes, throwing ran milkshakes out of them. She's not bad. She's got my haircut, but.
DeAndre
Wow.
Brett Veseley
That's all we got.
Brady
That's allowed in New Orleans. There wasn't a cop in sight.
Guest/Caller
John, I believe that needle thing is called justifiable homicide.
Brady
Yeah, I think so, too.
John Holmberg
100% chucked hep C into my leg.
Brady
It's like if Gandalf was insane. Throwing hep C things at you. You're on a date with a girl a few years later. I have to tell you before this gets serious. I have the hepatitis.
John Holmberg
Oh. Why?
Listener/Caller
How'd you. Was it from dirty sex?
Brady
I wish. Now I have a dickhead friend who threw hypodermic needle at me and it's stuck in.
Listener/Caller
That's not true.
DeAndre
It is.
Brady
It's very. Look, I'm being open. I'm vulnerable right now.
Listener/Caller
Are you still friends with him?
Brady
Well, yeah, we're bros. He didn't mean it. I kicked his ass, but.
Co-host/Friend
Wow.
Brady
All right, well, there you go. Fuel is today's 8 o' clock word. Get on the app, get on the website. And I'm sorry for all you people who listen to the podcast like normal people. This doesn't apply to you. This is only for the live listening for now, as our company focuses on nothing and makes us 16 different things. That's right. That's exactly right. Where all these things right? It's very confusing to the listener, but let's. Let's not focus on that at all. Good luck. Send you up there and get that Metallica stuff. Might have the. We'll get time for it. I think we'll find out. Guadalupe replay could be coming up. It's. There goes your brain report.
Co-host/Friend
It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee.
DeAndre
I have heard enough of this.
Brett Veseley
It's Brett Veseley from Homebrew's morning Sickness. Want to let you guys know about my friends over at Divine Design Landscaping.
Brady
Let me guess.
Brett Veseley
You like your backyard. It's simple, it's natural, it's low maintenance. Low maintenance. It's full of rocks and regret. And that one plastic chair you swear is temporary. Well, it's been there since 2015. Look, I've seen what Divine Design Landscaping can do. And look, they can do everything from custom pavers to turf. That actually looks real, not some 1980s AstroTurf. And they can handle the maintenance, too. So you can just sit back, relax, and enjoy that yard. Go to divinedesignlawncare.com to get a free estimate.
John Holmberg
It's John Holberg here, shailing away for new ac unit.com I've been telling you about the amazing new ac unit.com for about three years. New ac unit.com Put the power back in your hands. Three easy steps online, get you your unit ordered, inspected and installed by the best in the business. And I'm super excited to tell you that new Ace Unit.com now offers many splits. If you work in a garage, a casita, or even have like a man cave somewhere back in that garage, mini splits can be a must. New ac unit.com has it now and you can install it. They'll even include the electrical Save thousands, Save time. Buy online new ac unit.com.
Podcast: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Arizona
Date: March 2, 2026
Main Theme:
This episode dives into a wild array of current events and viral trends with the show's trademark irreverence and banter. The core discussions revolve around the latest far-fetched claims from Alex Jones about political personalities, viral internet conspiracy oddities (including “fake” Jim Carrey sightings), new relationship and parenting trends, and the crew’s reactions to bizarre viral videos and food trends.
Segment Start: [02:17]
The team dissects Alex Jones’ latest “revelation” – a convoluted conspiracy alleging Candace Owens impregnated Erica Kirk (Turning Point USA) after Charlie Kirk’s “demise.”
They lampoon the bizarre narrative, joking that Jones should write for soap operas due to the plotline’s absurdity.
Quote [03:23, DeAndre]:
“And here's the worst part of it all. Evidently Candace Owens, who used to be friends with Charlie Kirk, but then they became sort of enemies... Candace Owens is Big Mike too, and got Erica Kirk pregnant.”
The show mocks the logic of these right-wing conspiracies and how easily some people might get sucked into them when repeated enough times.
Quote [06:03, Brady]:
“So he lost his mind and I giggled for 20 minutes because I thought to myself, this. This guy. What if he's right? Your brain does that now.”
Segment Start: [06:45]
The crew discusses how mainstream certain conspiracy theories have become, playfully letting their “inner Alex Jones” take over, even joking about other celebrity “clones” – namely Jim Carrey at a recent French awards show.
They debate whether Carrey’s odd appearance is a clone, AI, or just a weird artistic stunt.
Quote [07:48, DeAndre]:
“They got him. They got him. And now he's just a mouthpiece. They've put the real one down in a basement...”
Quote [10:19, Brady]:
“Jesse says, man, I didn't hear him talk. John, Alex Jones has been more right than wrong lately. So I'm going to wait this out nine months and see if Mocha baby pops out of Erica.”
“Yeah, if consider it, consider it helpful that people are saying to you, hey, we're worried ... looking like a corpse isn't sexy.”
“You know why, Brett? Because women want a proposal to be memorable, and men want the divorce to be memorable.”
“So fat people in America are now making their kids smell like roasted chickens from Safeway.”
“It ruins a milkshake.”
Brady [26:21]:
“It is a milkshake. Dairy. What's the difference? You'd try.”
“It's the same water supply in whatever cruddy country that is. They're snail people. Yeah, they're snailing around, but they don't have shells or anything.”
| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|---------|-------| | 03:23 | DeAndre (channeling Alex Jones) | “Candace Owens is Big Mike too, and got Erica Kirk pregnant...” | | 06:03 | Brady | “He lost his mind and I giggled for 20 minutes... What if he's right?” | | 07:48 | DeAndre | “They got him. They got him. And now he's just a mouthpiece. They've put the real one down in a basement...” | | 10:19 | Brady | “...I'm going to wait this out nine months and see if Mocha baby pops out of Erica. If it does... we have to start taking Alex Jones seriously.” | | 13:49 | Brady | “Looking like a corpse isn't sexy. Demi Moore... her bones are showing, her jaw and her... It's terrifying.” | | 22:39 | Brady | “Women want a proposal to be memorable, and men want the divorce to be memorable.” | | 23:40 | Brady | “Fat people in America are now making their kids smell like roasted chickens from Safeway.” | | 26:21 | Brady | “It is a milkshake. Dairy. What's the difference? You'd try.” | | 32:32 | Brady | “They're snail people. Yeah, they're snailing around, but they don't have shells or anything.” | | 34:46 | John Holmberg | “How'd you — Was it from dirty sex? ...I wish. No, I have a dickhead friend who threw hypodermic needle at me and it’s stuck in.” |
If you missed this episode, you missed the crew at their chaotic and hilarious best: riffing on the most preposterous internet rumors, making fun of wellness and parenting fads, gleefully dissecting viral video disasters, and unearthing off-the-wall food items—all while keeping the banter sharp and the mood light. Highlights: lampooning Alex Jones's “transgender mocha baby” theory, speculating about a “fake” Jim Carrey, poking fun at “seasoning your kids,” and imagining a milkshake that even Brady might hesitate to gulp. A can’t-miss for fans of offbeat, topical comedy.