03-02-26 - CONDENSED SHORT SHOW - MONDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness, 98 KUPD (03-02-26)

Date: March 2, 2026
Episode: CONDENSED SHORT SHOW - MONDAY

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Overview

This condensed Monday episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" takes a wild ride through current events, irreverent social commentary, and the characteristic banter between host John Holmberg and his co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Todd (Dick Toledo). The team riff on everything from the absurdity of commercial placements during global crises, evolving social norms about “judging,” viral TV ads, and an extended, raunchy listener mail bit. The tone is sardonic, offbeat, and boundary-pushing as always—anchored in the show’s long-standing tradition of skewering both society’s sacred cows and itself.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. News, War Coverage, and Commercial Absurdity

• Holmberg opens by reflecting on war coverage in the Middle East, describing his sense of detachment and the surreal juxtaposition of ads with global catastrophe.
  • Quote: “In order for me to see Cutter get blown up by bombs, I had to sit through a 30 second DSW Shoe Warehouse commercial first.” – John Holmberg (03:00)
• The hosts reminisce about 9/11 coverage and discuss how even the most serious news can't escape advertising.
  • Quote: “On 9/11, we were doing this show... and our boss called us to tell us, ‘Goddammit, get back on the air and play those ads.’” – John Holmberg (03:37)

2. Changing Social Norms: Judging Others Is Back

• They comment on the way U.S. society swings from “don’t judge anyone” back to “be on alert and profile for safety.”
• The “inner bigot” concept is introduced—arguing it’s now permissible (even encouraged) to make snap judgments about people’s appearance for one’s own safety.
  • Quote: “It’s time to be like your grandpa again. Start judging everybody by the way they look. Act accordingly afterwards. It’s a great time to be alive." – John Holmberg (06:37)
  • Quote: “Your inner bigot is a jerk, but he’s gonna keep you safe.” – John Holmberg (13:14)

3. Street Preachers and Unlikely Converts

• The hosts riff on Jesus street preachers with bullhorns, mocking their lack of recruitment success.
  • Quote: “They’ve never recruited a single person. Not one bullhorn Jesus.” – John Holmberg (11:32)
• Discussion spins off to the saxophone buskers outside sports venues, poking fun at their musicianship—or lack thereof.

4. Media as Entertainment: News, Coverage in Israel, and "War" as Binge Content

• Critique of news anchors reporting from “safe” hotel balconies in warzones, exaggerating danger for drama.
  • Quote: “CNN’s Erin Burnett…standing on a balcony with no makeup. And that’s not something she should be doing ever.” – John Holmberg (19:56)
  • Quote: “Everything you see on the news is for entertainment purposes first.” – John Holmberg (23:00)

5. Sexualization in Commercials: Female Surfers & the "Celsius" Ad

• Extended, comedic analysis of a “Celsius Supergirl Surf Festival” ad featuring scantily clad women, with the hosts joking about its adolescent/wish-fulfillment value.
  • Quote: “If I was a teenager when this came out, every bit of my bodily fluids would have been drained out.” – John Holmberg (29:01)
  • Quote: “I mean, there’s labia in that shot. That cameraman nailed it. He needs an award.” – John Holmberg (32:15)

6. Ridiculous TV Legal Ads: Jungle Law and the Tarzan Lawyer

• Holmberg and the team riff on over-the-top, low-budget ads for “Jungle Law,” a local legal outfit using bizarre scenarios (workplace affairs, #MeToo, Tarzan lookalikes) to hawk their services.
  • Quote: “They’re not putting any cash into these spots. These are $40 commercials. I love it.” – John Holmberg (37:16)

7. Alex Jones' Wildest New Conspiracy

• The team recounts Alex Jones's latest theory: Candace Owens impregnating Erica Kirk after Charlie Kirk's death, tying in chemtrails and “mocha babies.”
  • Quote: “Candace Owens is Big Mike too, and got Erica Kirk pregnant.” – Brady (40:09)
  • Quote: “He should have written for soap operas. Nothing about this guy is like, that is a creative story.” – John Holmberg (40:28)

8. Listener Mail: “First Baseman's Mitt”

• The crew tackles a jaw-dropping, frank question about a listener's wife’s genital changes, likened humorously to a “first baseman’s mitt,” spiraling into an extended analogy about “vaginal mudslides,” aging, and awkward honesty in marriage.
  • Quote: “Her vagina has gone from paper cut…to a first baseman’s mitt with the laces pulled out. Picture it for a second.” – Listener letter read by Holmberg (45:56)
  • Memorable moment: The “vaginal mudslide” trademark bit, and the “show her an Arby’s sandwich” suggestions.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (With Timestamps)

• On commercials during war coverage:
  • “In order for me to see Cutter get blown up by bombs, I had to sit through a 30 second DSW Shoe Warehouse commercial first.” (03:00)
• On street preachers:
  • “They’ve never recruited a single person. Not one bullhorn Jesus.” (11:32)
• On current attitudes toward profiling:
  • “It’s time to be like your grandpa again. Start judging everybody by the way they look.” (06:37)
  • “Your inner bigot is a jerk, but he’s gonna keep you safe.” (13:14)
• On the media:
  • “Everything you see on the news is for entertainment purposes first.” (23:00)
• On viral ad content:
  • “If I was a teenager when this came out, every bit of my bodily fluids would have been drained out.” (29:01)
  • “I mean, there’s labia in that shot. That cameraman nailed it. He needs an award.” (32:15)
• Listener Mail - "First Baseman's Mitt" Bit:
  • “Her vagina has gone from paper cut…to a first baseman’s mitt with the laces pulled out. Picture it for a second.” (45:56)
• On “Jungle Law” TV ads:
  • “They’re not putting any cash into these spots. These are $40 commercials.” (37:16)
• On Alex Jones’s latest theory:
  • “Candace Owens is Big Mike too, and got Erica Kirk pregnant.” (40:09)

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Segment Timestamps

• War and News Media Satire: 00:00 – 04:43
• Judgment and Social Commentary: 04:45 – 08:29
• Street Preachers and Busker Bits: 09:30 – 16:56
• TV News as Entertainment/Critique of Middle East coverage: 18:38 – 24:00
• Viral TV Ads and Commercial Tangents: 27:30 – 37:35
• Alex Jones Conspiracy Comedy: 39:23 – 43:42
• Listener Mail, "First Baseman's Mitt": 45:34 – 53:23

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Summary

The episode barrels through a condensed but jam-packed collection of social observations—always irreverent, often edgy, and packed with signature Holmberg sarcasm. From the surreal overlay of advertising on tragedies, to the whiplash shift in social attitudes about judging others, the crew lampoons just about everything. The final act’s “first baseman’s mitt” mailbag bit blends bathroom humor and genuine, if circuitous, relationship advice. If you want a snapshot of 2020s angst seen through the lens of Arizona’s longest-running morning show, this irreverent medley is it.

Listeners will find a show that has lost none of its energy, shock value, or willingness to laugh at the absurd—whether in the world at large, or among its own crew.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. I still don't understand how. We obliterated all their stuff about eight months ago, and now we're back there. That's a different story. And a can of worms. We can open up another day, but deep down.

[Brett Vesely]

And I'm gonna get jacked around for gas again.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. And then our 401ks are going to take a beating for a few days. But the Bully in school 47 years later has, like, a malignant tumor, and it's not good. Okay, I'm pretty happy with that. That seems nice. That was great, Joy. When I found out that Kelly guy got crushed by a rock, he was a horrible little toad. Now, he might have changed his ways in the years between stuff and Burkhart and I and cans and, you know, the day that that rock killed him. But deep down, the people. There were a lot of people who were like, oh, my God, did you hear about Kelly? No, what happened? A rock crushed him while he was hiking. And my reaction was, oh, dude, that's terrible. You know, you say it through a smile.

[Brett Vesely]

According to Trump, there's 48 Kelly's taken out.

[John Holmberg]

There's a lot of Kelly's taken out. You know what? Good. We got a lot of those Kelly's. We dropped them like Roxy.

[Brady]

That's what we did. And they're idiots, so they're just straighting now.

[John Holmberg]

Anybody bombing uae? And the most important thing I saw in the news about that Lindsay Lohan's okay. She lives there, you know, in Dubai. Here's how I know again. My. My fat. My fat red faced me. That's coming out in, like, conspiracy theories. Yes, it's all real. I understand that this is real. But it all seems so strangely different than before. I went on Saturday morning. As you know, it happened as we were sleeping. And so I go on Saturday morning to get some news, and I'm like, holy cow, mom and Iran. And then it said, Cutter takes. Takes blows from Iran. And they're lobbing bombs to Cutter video here. I'm like, oh, my God. And it said, tel Aviv intercepts 30 missiles. Video here. I'm like, oh, I don't want to be a salacious weirdo about this, but I want to watch rockets get blown up. I like things floating. So I'm thinking maybe this would be fun. And when I clicked on these very serious World War 3 type videos, I realized the world we lived in is just a simulation and isn't isn't that real or serious about anything? Because in order for me to see Cutter get blown up by bombs, I had to sit through a 32nd DSW Shoe Warehouse commercial first. So I'm really, really not sure this matters as deep to all people that I do now know that there's a 30% off sale at DSW. And I'm like, that's nice. And then I watch bombs blow up buildings because in order for me to get my news that's very weighted, I had to sit through a video of shoe sales. And then the next one was targeting me for Mugsy jeans because I like Mugsy Jeans. You don't. If you, if you're looking for a jeans company, you can't mugs these great Mugsy jeans. It's a little side endorsement there I'm doing because I really enjoy those jeans. I'm not getting paid for that one, but I'm telling you, they're good genes. And then so before I could watch the supreme leader of Ayatollah blah, blah blah, rant whatever this guy was before, and they were showing videos of him screaming death to America. I'm like, I'll click on that. I got an ad for nice jeans and I considered maybe shopping a little there, but it's summer. I'm going to wear a lot of jeans coming next few months. Well, I'll wait for September's war to find out. Muggsy's New Deal. So, yeah, I'm watching advertisements for. You know, I don't think they ever did that. When Edward R. Murrow came on and said, we're dropping bombs on Germany right now. And two schools were hit, but first, Vermont teddy bears. Don't you want one for this holiday season? Like, oh my God, is he doing an ad in the middle of this on 9 11, we were doing this show and our boss called us to tell us, what do you. Why are you just playing news? Because we just went on and switched over to the news feed because we didn't know what was going on. And he said, goddammit, get back on the air and play those ads. I said, I don't think people care about the Labor Day sales right now. Chuck, play the goddamn ads. All right, so in the middle of like the second plane has hit the building, you heard me, come back in and go, hey, we gotta interrupt this real quick to let you know that Burge Mazda's gonna have a hell of

[Brady]

a deal on the weekend.

[John Holmberg]

I'm pretty sure that's still going on. It's The Labor Day special mugs of jeans. I'm telling you, man, that's a fantastic Gene company, Chuck.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't think they want their commercials running during this.

[John Holmberg]

Right?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I don't think that the Mazda games, we're blowing things out of the water today. Like, oh, the Labor Day. That was back when car dealers just yelled at you the whole time. But back to my original point and the reason I'm beaming with pride, Brett, you should be too. And here's where I'm going to get the other side mad. All you liberal knobs that try to get everybody fired. I'm all for the bombing, but I'm not sure I like how. So I'm on the liberal side with that one. I'm like, dad supposed to ask Congress for this kind of stuff. And I am a believer. You got to sit through and sift through the rules. Then the reason he didn't ask Congress because loaded with a bunch of pussies that would have probably said no. But the best part is, for the last 15 years, and I don't think society's gotten better because of it. All we've tried to teach people is don't judge anyone. Don't judge people. That's bad. Don't do it. Don't see color, don't see shape. Don't see weirdos. Don't see a dude in a dress and say anything. Don't do it. It's everybody's allowed to be whatever they are. Till now. The news won't tell you to stop. Keep your head on the swivel. See something weird. Now it's people like me who are often confused for racists. But we're not. We're self sustaining bigots. Brett's one of them. We all are. Deep down. This isn't just a white people thing to run around and judge everybody. We just are the best at it. Black people. Don't see a group of dudes in leather with shaved heads and go, let's just go meet these individuals. You cross the street. Protect yourself. So now all I saw two news stories this morning on tv, one on the rad video, big like features with terrorism experts. Keep your head on a swivel. You see something weird. I mean, there's no. No time. You see a guy in a sweatshirt in the middle of summer, he's up to no good. Judge people by the way they look. Is back and it is safer. It's a better way to live. The days of look at this weirdo are back and you can't get Fired for it anymore. Don't take advantage of it. Get us all in trouble. Be real with it. Don't just point out anybody as I don't like that Mexican. That's not what we're doing here. Unless of course, you don't like the look of that Mexican because he's up to no good. Keep your head on a swivel. They're constantly telling us, all right, it's time to be like your grandpa again. Start judging everybody by the way they look. Act accordingly afterwards. It's a great time to be alive. Great. It's all in the family again, huh? Kinda tell me how this this world's gotten more lovey dovey and more accepting with the whole let your freak flag fly.

[Todd]

I haven't.

[John Holmberg]

So I don't know nobody. Everybody. We're all fighting. I remember back in the 70s and 80s we were proud. We know we had our differences, but it wasn't like this where everybody's screaming and yelling at each other about trans this, gay that, black this, white that, cop this, ice that we didn't do it. We're mad about stuff. We're always mad about something. But that whole system broke free of like, don't judge anyone. Don't look at people if they want to be that way, they can be. If they're acting crazy, you let them.

[Brady]

Not anymore.

[John Holmberg]

One day in the Middle east and suddenly you drive by a mosque with one eye open, eyeballing them like you got a man. They're in there and you're allowed to now. And it doesn't mean you hate them.

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[John Holmberg]

It's John Holberg here from the Morning Sickness Time. TVs Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins.com another satisfied listener called TV's Doug Hopkins and sold her home for cash. She reached out. Her name's Ashley, and Doug wants to make it simple. Buy your house for cash as is, you don't have to do anything. Just like Ashley, no strings attached. If he moves that price, you get $5,000. Want to sell that place? Start the process online@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing. And it's not just, you know, one group. I steer clear of those intersections where you got those people with the sandwich boards with pictures of Jesus all bloodied up, screaming through a bullhorn at me about how I got to save myself. I'm like, I don't trust you either. Although they are not. They're Very rarely do they bomb stuff. One of those people is going to be unhinged one of these days. I dodged them.

[Brett Vesely]

Walk through a big crew on the way to the Annex Festival right across the street.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they drive you bananas. And, hey, Jesus freaks with the thing. Don't you think God would have wanted you to spread his message on a better sound system than a bullhorn? I can't understand a thing you're saying. Enjoy the music. You're going to hell.

[Todd]

If I wanted to hear that, I'd listen to Dead and Bloated, the beginning of the STP song.

[John Holmberg]

Shut up. You're ruining the intersection. How are you doing this? You're wrecking. You're making an intersection. The worst part of my day. It's just supposed. The light's supposed to change and I'm supposed to follow the rules and walk to the thing and not. You were wrecking my day. Has this ever worked? Has anyone? God, I'd love to hear the rest of your message. Will. I think I want to be a. You.

[Brady]

You.

[John Holmberg]

You swayed me. Yeah, you did. I can't believe it, but it worked.

[Brett Vesely]

Got five today.

[John Holmberg]

They've never recruited a single person. Not one bullhorn. Jesus, Great band name.

[Brett Vesely]

If someone's staying, like, you know what? I'm not going to this.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not going to stay Here I'm Skip the sun's game, guys. Why?

[Guest]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

That dude got me and whatever he's saying seems like I should follow it. I'm gonna skip the Suns game tonight. I know, I know it's Oklahoma City. I probably shouldn't, but this guy makes a lot of sense. Never. I want to see your numbers. So, Todd, did you get anybody? You don't have to use the bull. Put it down, Todd. No, no. No recruits today, boss.

[Brady]

Yes, we're.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, forever. What are we doing wrong?

[Todd]

Wonder if the guy with the cross on wheels is still out there on Mill Avenue. It's gotta be 60 or 70 by now.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus. Except gonna make it a little more convenient than Jesus. I got wheels. You're dragging that cross around turn up. And he put fake blood on it.

[Brett Vesely]

They just re up another guy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he passes it down. Yeah, that's nice. That's a nice thing. Jesus forfeited a weekend for you people. He gave up a full weekend and then came back and she want to follow me. He did only four for the weekend. When he puts it that way, that's kind of the he died for your sins. But it was really just a three day weekend. And then he came back and he knew it. So it doesn't really. Anyway, those people drive me nuts too. Either way, judge away, folks. Judge away. But again, don't go crazy. Just know that your inner bigot's allowed to breathe right now. Just a little. And he's gonna keep you safe. Your inner bigot is a jerk, but he's gonna keep you safe. It's that voice in your head that goes, check on that guy over there. And then the nice party goes, now calm down. That's probably a very nice person. Maybe they're just confused. Your inner bigot goes, that dude is mentally ill across the street.

[Brady]

We should listen to the inner bigot.

[John Holmberg]

And sometimes you do, sometimes you don't. But now you don't have to talk him out of anything. Now he's inner bigots taking the lead for a little bit. Oh, so great to hear on ktar they did a whole segment on my drive in this morning of like, should we listen to our inner bigot right now? And the guy on the phone's like, oh God, yes, absolutely. The inner bigot is so right right now. It's an amazing time for the inner bigot. And it's a human feature. It's called sink or swim. Just to recognize danger around the corner. And right now be on a heightened alert for anything you don't like all of them too? It doesn't even matter. White, black, Mexican. We can all unite over the fact that weirdos need to be pointed out and removed. What should you do if you see someone? Oh, just dodge them or call the police. Like, oh, this is. Run, run. Scream. Point. Point at them and say, that guy. I love it. And I want to do that to every. I'm gonna.

[Brady]

You know what I might do?

[John Holmberg]

I might call the police. Just on son's games. Walking across the street over there to the. The bullhorn. Jesus, people get them all wrangled up. You got a permit for this? You're driving me crazy. Go take that somewhere else.

[Brett Vesely]

Here's the sax. Play this.

[John Holmberg]

That guy can stay all he wants. Especially that single note sax guy who never learned any. Any of the. He just single note songs all the way through and plays over a tape on your way to Diamondbacks games. That dude's fantastic. He's got the musical backing of, you know, my Sharia Moore and just.

[Brett Vesely]

He plays Earth, Wind and Fire.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's got them all. But he plays the Stevie Wonder lyric part just one note at a time. Like that guy doesn't even try to rehear. You want money for that? I think I could learn that in an hour.

[Todd]

He hasn't got a song down or anything.

[John Holmberg]

He's got all of them down, but it's just single notes. He doesn't do any cool sack stuff.

[Todd]

So he's not playing like this.

[John Holmberg]

That brother did.

[Brady]

Men at work.

[John Holmberg]

I'd stick around. I might. You mind if I sing this? Go crazy man crack. I sing away. Why do you know this? I do not know. Could it be knocking at my door? But if I started singing, it would take his job away because he just. He toodles the lyric line. Yeah. I would stand there, dance around calling, hey, this thing Stay away. And then they start handing me money. I'm like, nope, Give it to the dude with the sax. Are we a band right now? We sure are. Honk that thing blow, big man. If they broke out who can it be? He broke out the who can it be now give him five bucks next

[Todd]

time you see him and see if

[John Holmberg]

he can bust it up. You know. Who can it be now by what kind of crack of nonsense are you talking like some men at work? You don't know men at work? What, you're a sax player? That's one you should know.

[Brady]

I'm not no sax player.

[John Holmberg]

I play individual notes.

[Brett Vesely]

What's your name, man? Clarence.

[John Holmberg]

Of course.

[Brady]

That's Clarence.

[John Holmberg]

I shouldn't even ask. I'm insane for saying that. All right, Clarence. I might just walk up to him. All right, Clarence. Let's do a little man at work. How'd you know my name? My inner bigot knows everything.

[Brady]

Clarence,

[John Holmberg]

You regret that mayhem tattoo on your stomach, don't you? It didn't work out. I thought I'd be the first rapping sax player. Nobody wants that. Who can it be now? Who can it be now? Oh, that's the best.

[Brett Vesely]

He knocked it out couple months ago. That meant it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you can still go. Oh, there you go. Look at this. Standing out there outside of ballpark. Give that man a dollar. Bullhorn. Jesus. Put that down.

[Guest]

Get over here.

[John Holmberg]

Put. Give this man a dollar. You say all God's creatures deserve something. Give him a buck. That is a good sax solo, too. This is a sax solo feel. Learned it yesterday. Not very elaborate power note. I'm all in on that.

[Guest]

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[John Holmberg]

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[Todd]

She's scaring them without me.

[John Holmberg]

That's a pretty good picture of her too. You should see her on there. Now Anderson's gonna be there and they're all, they all get a room. Like, how do you even check into a hotel right now and be like, hi, we're going up and gonna stand on one of your balconies and film rockets. Well, welcome. Welcome to Israel. Very appreciative of you coming here filming the rockets that are killing our people. Yeah, we care about you, but first we care about getting the shot.

[Brett Vesely]

I need my pseudo military vest.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, gotta have that point of wine journalist vest. Well, they put that on because it says media and you're not allowed to sh against some sort of convention.

[Todd]

Oh, yeah, I'm sure they stick with that rule.

[John Holmberg]

They do. Well, you notice they're never really down in the. Exactly. They're always up in a pretty nice balcony. I mean, whatever hotel CNN's got its stars staying in in the daytime, if there weren't bombs, it's a hell of a view. This is not like a $40 night room.

[Todd]

It's not the El Cortez in Vegas.

[John Holmberg]

It's for using is really express. You get the enclave, you get the balcony. It's very nice. You have beautiful shots of rockets and the ocean. Well, I definitely want to do some time on the beach when I have a day off. I'm only working six of seven days.

[Brett Vesely]

Do you think they put the banner on the hotels like super bowl teams? CNN on this one.

[John Holmberg]

Msnbc, home of coverage. Rockets killing our people from cnn. Welcome cnn. There you have free continental breakfast.

[Todd]

Well, not quite free.

[John Holmberg]

Well, it is free for me. As you know. You're not going to pay a shit. What is it? What do you think? It's bagels. Do you have English muffins? What are you. Why you fly here? You're a news person. You should know. Anyway, yeah, I was watching this thing and, man, commercial breaks are long because they're selling the hell out of this thing. But it's great. I like what this guy's doing. I'm getting emails from this guy. I don't know who it is, but it says, well, I do know who it is. I'm gonna go with. I'm gonna run with this. I'm gonna play it in character. It says, dear John, the Jews. That's how it starts. There we go. Time. We said the awful part out loud. It's time to just eliminate Israel. A lot of people don't like to hear what I'm saying, and if they've got a problem with it, they can take it up with me. My name is deandre Ayton, center for the Los Angeles Lakers. And I read that and I laughed for half an hour. And then about four emails later, it says, hey, John, what do you get when you cross a Mexican in a Polack? A chain link fence covered in graffiti. Oh, I'm a racist. Well, I'm right here and my name is deandre Ayton of the Los Angeles Lakers. Guy's a Laker fan, doesn't like DeAndre, says, hey, John, you know what I've always said, and I'm not afraid to say it again, the only good ayatollah is a dead one, and the only good Iranian is one drowning. Oh, are the pussies out there screaming at me? Well, let me tell you this. Holmberg didn't say it. It was me, deandre Ayton of the Los Angeles Lakers.

[Todd]

Well, he's been pretty busy today.

[John Holmberg]

He was. Wow. I didn't know he listened, man. And I'm assuming this is the same guy. Says Holmberg. I've heard it all. I've heard all I need to hear from UTA Benga this morning. Deandre Ayton is driving me crazy. It's time we went back to the days of America being fantastic. Eliminate all blacks from sports. I want no more of this. You got a problem with that? My name is Michael Bidwell and I own the Arizona Cardinals. Take it up with me. I like this. Trying to get other people canceled through emails that I will gladly read on this radio station. I don't know if those are accurate or if those are actually the people they say they are don't take it up with me, take it up with them. Fantastic loophole in that one. Love it. This one says for mongering parasite news anchors from America, we've been having wet dreams since Friday. They can act like they don't like it, but they do. Every night since Iran bombing began, these people are secretly celebrating behind closed doors like it's 1999. It's disgusting and so are they. Philip, you couldn't be more right. And I've said this for years, if there's a commercial break, it is for entertainment. That's all. Because they have to sell that to someone. One if they cared about the information and they cared about anything else, the way news used to be, which was a losing endeavor for networks. They never made money on news. Back in the day, it was a losing area of NBC, CBS and abc. They didn't make money. They weren't designed to make money. Then they made it networks, all based on that. And they started to sell DSW shoe ads. And that's when you realize we've got to be more, we got to be flashier than the other guy or we won't get the advertising guy. Everything you see on the news is for entertainment purposes first. That's why they stand on balconies with cameras and film rockets. That's why they like the explosions. That's why you've seen that drone fly into a building and it's cool because we're nowhere near it. It's John Holmberg here for Life Changer Loans. Whether you're buying a home, trying to refinance or improve things financially, you got to focus on one clarity. You don't have to do it the old way. Life Changer Loan is here to help. Call my friend Shane o' Grady at Life Changer Loan and see if it's for you. Good credit, good with money. There is more than just the old fashioned bank loan. And if you want to see what's possible financially in your life that's different than what you're doing now, [e-mail] Life Changer Loan it's not magic, it's just math. It's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness to tell you about the Core Institute. People who met me found out that I've had four major operations in the last four years. They're blown away. I've had both shoulders replaced, replaced and both hips replaced because I was an absolute disaster before my surgeries. I was in pain. Now no one knows I've had any issues People who hear multiple surgeries assume they'll never be the same again. That's just not true. I'm better than I've been in 20 years. Stop quitting the things you love and get back to being the pain free you you love. The core Institute dot com. Holmberg's morning sickness. And then last night. Boy, am I glad. Google this Celsius drink. Supergirl Surf. I know you're a lot typing. Supergirl Surf Festival commercial. So last night when I stopped binging war on CNN and Fox. Great show. I went over and I just flipping through the thing and it said it was like seven or eight at night, said Surfer Girl Surf Festival. And I'm like, oh, Supergirl. Sorry. Supergirl Surfer Festival. There you go. Like you knew I heard it the first. Shut the. Yeah. All right. There you. Now you're getting it right. That's right. Come on. Supergirl Surf Festival. And then. And I flip over that Celsius. No, no, no. I'm telling the story here, chief. Don't jump ahead. Supergirl Surf Festival. And then in the middle of it, you know, they're showing these girls surfing. And I noticed two things. The girls that wear surf pants like shorts. I don't know what good surfing is. And bad. Everything looked. As long as you don't fall off, it pretty much looks the same. Evidently have to rip these turns a little tighter and then you get a thing called spray and you get a night. And so there. I guess you can be better than someone else. I have. I don't have the nuance, but in the middle, they run this commercial. You want a commercial? Yeah. Put the word commercial at the end of that and it's for Celsius. No. Oh, the girls in thongs. Better, better scores. If they wear a thong, what they're doing is. But I am so glad that this commercial for. For Celsius didn't exist when I was a teenager or I'd have dehydrated like spongebob on land. There is. I don't even think you're allowed to show some of the stuff that was in the spot. It's. It's got to be the top one. It's just a commercial. Nope. Yeah, that's a 50. No, it's. It's a. It's a minute long. Go up 50.

[Todd]

I'm at the top.

[John Holmberg]

That's. And roll. Roll the thing. It's the. The spot is. I looked it up. So it's not. This shouldn't be this hard. Just. Just put Celsius commercial. Supergirl Surf festival. I. I swear to God it is. If I was a teenager when this came out, every bit of my bodily fluids would have been drained out. And I. I'm. I feel so good that I didn't, because I used to. I found that. How are you struggling to find this?

[Todd]

I don't know. I'm on videos.

[Guest]

I'm.

[Todd]

See.

[John Holmberg]

But I swear to you, there is a girl in a yellow thong that's snorkeling in this thing. It. It would have broke the pause button on my old vcr. It's unbelievable. If you can find the commercial, find it. Just. Brett can't. But it isn't this hard. I'll. If I can find it. I can't put it up on the screen though.

[Brett Vesely]

Just.

[John Holmberg]

It is so 20, 23. Oh, geez. Just put Celsius commercial in there. It's so incredibly hot. There you go. Boom. That might be it. Just click that. It might be the one. I swear to you, it's. It's. It's better than pornhub. You don't need a. That's not it. That's certainly not it. Although you can probably jerk off with that too. No. Either way, you'll find it. We don't need to see it, but. Yeah, it is unreal. So I'm. I'm not a surfer fan, but I don't know what. Because I don't know what it is to do to be good at it. But let me tell you, the girls in thong surfing, their scores were astronomically higher than the girls in shorts.

[Brett Vesely]

It comes down to picking the right wave.

[John Holmberg]

No, it comes down to are you on your period or not? Because the girls on their period have to wear the big bulky pants, and the ones who aren't have. Can wear the thongs and surf in them and they're scoring better. It's just a fact. I watch seven of them. I thought the best one, if I was just going off technique, I thought for sure the best one was this girl who had a pair of shorts down to her knees and she's like 5.5.4. And then a thong girl went up there and I thought she stumbled a little and she didn't. It didn't look as cool, but her ass was astronomical. 8. 9. We just go to 500. And I'm like, how is that a thing? These girls are. I mean, their body incredible. But the ones in shorts, yeah, they don't score as high and the ones in songs just win. But yeah, you gotta watch the Celsius commercial. If you can find the Celsius commercial. It's. It'll. It'll. It kills you. I found it right away. Brett just put in. We gotta show Brady because he'll lose it. Celsius commercial surfing.

[Todd]

Oh, that's what I have.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there it is. That's the one. The song will even bother you. Wait till you see the girl in the yellow song. Big screen. That. Brad, let's not screw around with this thumbnail. Oh, the arrows. There you go. Look at this. That. Did you see that? Oh, yeah, her vagina.

[Todd]

Shove.

[Guest]

Oh, yeah.

[Todd]

Let's go back.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, and pause it right about. Wait, that one's hot too. That's hot.

[Brett Vesely]

Here it comes.

[John Holmberg]

Here we go. Right there. Oh, perfect.

[Todd]

Stop.

[John Holmberg]

Look at that. Can you scoot it ahead just a touch? Look at that. That's not human. That. That's got to be an AI butt.

[Brett Vesely]

Jeez.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So I'm just sitting there minding my own business. Look at that flipper. I'm telling you right now, Voice. I just realized that was a flipper. I thought it was a seal following her ass. That's a. Oh my God. Look at that. You can't show that on tv. But they did during some sort of weird surf thing. Cuz they didn't feel like watching the SAG Awards. I mean, there's labia in that shot. That cameraman nailed it. He needs an award.

[Brett Vesely]

An addy.

[John Holmberg]

If I was 15, I didn't never come out of my room.

[Todd]

No, not with that.

[John Holmberg]

Not with that on tv. Oh, I was watching that last night and I'm like, I. I went back and watched the commercial about 11 times. Didn't care about surfing. Oh, it was pause and toss. All right, switch it forward. Just a second.

[Brett Vesely]

Take a picture of that.

[John Holmberg]

Scooch it up a little bit. Well, you got it on your computer, Brady. Look at it. And then it's her. Oh, look a little more right before it cuts away. Look at it. It just gets better with each frame. Reminded me of being a teen boy and finding that Pepsi commercial with what turned out to be Salma Hayek. Or not Selma Hayek. What's her name? No, no, no, the other one. It was the girl from Modern Fan.

[Todd]

Sophia Viaga.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Sophia Viagra.

[Todd]

Yeah, that's.

[John Holmberg]

It was pretty awesome. Great stuff. There you go. Look at that. Yeah, just. Can you lo me just leave that on the screen all morning? There it is. Oh, Brett's making her bounce around. Oh, it's incredible.

[Todd]

It's Brett Vesely from Homer's Morning Sickness. Want to let you guys know about my friends over at Divine Design Landscaping.

[John Holmberg]

Let me guess.

[Todd]

You like your backyard. It's simple. It's natural. It's low maintenance. Low maintenance. It's full of rocks and regret. And that one plastic chair you swear is temporary. Well, it's been there since 2015. Look, I've seen what Divine Design Landscaping can look. They can do everything from custom pavers to turf that actually looks real, not some 1980s AstroTurf. And they can handle the maintenance, too. So you can just sit back, relax, and enjoy that yard. Go to divinedesignlawncare.com to get a free estimate.

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[John Holmberg]

And.

[Ad Announcer]

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[John Holmberg]

Fishertools.comberg's. Morning sickness. And I don't think there's much better in this world right now at all. And I don't know that they're any good. I'd never. I don't know that I would use them. But if you haven't seen the commercials for Jungle Love you. Unbelievable how they're getting away with this one. It's phenomenal. Dude walks up to a lady at work. Sorry about it. We can't have sex anymore. My wife found out. But you said. I don't know about that. And he points to someone else and goes, fire her. Which means he had that conversation with people around. We can't be having sex anymore. My wife just found out about it. That's not fair. I don't care about that. Somebody fire her. And he walked away. And then they're like jungle law. That's amazing. I don't know that I would use them. Because they. They didn't even get good actors for the thing. They just wanted their premise out there.

[Todd]

Here's a new one, too.

[John Holmberg]

Which one is.

[Brett Vesely]

There's a Tarzan one.

[John Holmberg]

I've seen that, too. Harassed at work. Hashtag me too. We've recovered millions for our clients. You only can get this done. And by the way, I saw you looking at me. Don't touch me. He smacks your ass. This is for you. What? It's a termination letter for turning him down. You're not alone in the fight. And then some lady in Chris Hemsworth. It's Tarzan for my clients. He's a lawyer now.

[Brett Vesely]

Cuz they do one with him.

[John Holmberg]

Jungle law is the best. Cuz their commercials are terrible. Brother walks up and goes, I saw you looking at me.

[Brady]

Smacked her tail.

[Todd]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

And then fires her for saying no.

[Brett Vesely]

The other one massages the shoulder.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, I like that. But I love the one where the old man just says, you're fired. There massaging her shoulders, smelling her like Joe Biden dude in a hard hat. Taking her back. Oh, lady from Jungle all comes and lights it all on fire. I know they're paying for these, but I don't know if you're any good at Law Star. See, But I sure do like the idea of it. You know what I like about it is that they spent no money on the acting at all. Injured in a car. And actually, the productions. Horrible. Don't let the insurance company mon you. And you know what else? There's Taran. There's the guy from the. He shows up and he's like a. A romance novel cover.

[Todd]

The Cato Kalin.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Just showing up out of nowhere. They hired someone. They got a parrot and a monkey. They paid for that. But they won't ever pay enough money to get jungle. They're not putting any cash into these spots. These are $40 commercials. I love it. Saul Goodman had better commercials. The lawman. I want to. That sexy Fabio lawyer sometimes to screw up. Mike, I'm. You're going to jail, I think, if you use them.

[Brady]

But.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the me too thing had me rolling. I love it. And again, everything's for entertainment, so don't take anything too seriously, especially if you've got one half of Siegfried and Roy representing you in your Me too case.

[Todd]

Wow, these are terrible.

[John Holmberg]

That's what I told Brett on Friday. The law tigers were in here, and I'm like, wouldn't it be great if they went out and found an albino lawyer? One of the albino law tigers, like the very rare albino law tiger. And eventually he eats a magician. That would be great. Hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my

[Ad Announcer]

friend Wayne from AMCO. Wayne, it's tax time.

[John Holmberg]

You filed and your refunds burn in a hole in your pocket.

[Guest]

That's right, Larry. Before you book a trip or buy something shiny, please remember your car tax time's the best time to take care of all the car repairs you've been putting off.

[John Holmberg]

Sure, because nothing kills a tax refund. Buzz faster than a surprise car breakdown.

[Guest]

I'll say.

If your car's been acting up, now's the time to handle it.

[John Holmberg]

Should we wait for our refund before getting repairs?

[Guest]

No way. Amco payment plans let you get repairs now and pay when you get your check.

[John Holmberg]

Google Amco for your nearest location. That's Amco double A, MCO transmissions and a whole lot more.

[Guest]

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[John Holmberg]

Holberg's morning sickness. By the way, before we get on with anything, Brady and I were talking about this off the air. Have you seen Alex Jones's most recent? This is pretty good stuff. He. He's got a new conspiracy that I'm all in on. Where are the men in this country? Where are this world?

[Brady]

What the hell have we become?

[John Holmberg]

And he goes, goes, well, it's happened.

[Brady]

Here we go.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm like, oh, this will be good. And he looks a little distraught. He's not bright red. So this one's not bothering him that much.

[Brady]

I just found out from a very credible source, I mean, this is real stuff. That Turning Point USA CEO Erica Kirk is pregnant.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm like, oh, geez, that. And I'm in my brain. I'm like, oh, boy.

[Brady]

And here's the worst part of it all. Evidently Candace Owens, who used to be friends with Charlie Kirk, but then they became sort of enemies. And the reason why is because Candace Owens is Big Mike, too, and got Erica Kirk pregnant.

[John Holmberg]

And I'm like, oh, my God, I didn't see that at all. He should have written for soap operas. Nothing about this guy is like, that's. That is a creative story.

[Brady]

I have it on good authority. Candace Owens, yes, she is a man. Big Mike talked her into this. Big Mike 2. Now, Candace Owens. Owens has put a baby in Erica Kirk. I talked about this before Charlie got shot, that he was worried that his wife and the male version of Candace Owens were having sex. And of course, month after he was gone, they continued their nonsense. And then she's impregnated, and now they're gonna have a mocha child.

[John Holmberg]

The best part is, is that Alex Jones did this.

[Brady]

He's like, I gotta get it out of the way.

[John Holmberg]

He's sitting at like a panda express in the parking.

[Brady]

Like, no, I gotta do it now.

[John Holmberg]

Now.

[Brady]

I can't. This news can't wait. I've got to break it before someone else will.

[John Holmberg]

Don't worry about it. Nobody else knows about this but you.

[Brady]

And that'll come out now. And you'll see, in a few years, you'll see that I was 100 right about this. It makes me sad because she was cheating on Charlie. And now we know. Brady, there's absolutely no way that that guy.

[Brett Vesely]

What can we do about it?

[Brady]

Well, what we can do about it is solve the mystery. We get the Scooby Doo Mystery Machine and we find out who really shot Charlie. Because right now I think it might be that Eric and Candace, we're in on it together to save their mocha baby. So mark my words, right now, Erica Kirk is considering maybe having an abortion, which she's very, very vehemently against outwardly, but inside she cannot have. Have a transgender ladies mocha baby. Just can't happen.

[Brett Vesely]

Well, that blend. That might be a frog baby.

[Brady]

Might be one of those gay frogs now. That's because the chemtrails. Brady, you're not wrong. Because whatever you say, I might believe, no matter how far fetched it is, I might report it.

[Brett Vesely]

Enjoy the orange chicken.

[Brady]

Well, yeah, I gotta go in there and get my. That's good stuff. I love the Panda Express. You know what? That. You know what pisses me off about the panda? The big controversy. It's not real panda meat, which they promised with the name Panda Express. Delicious panda to reasonable price. That isn't real. I don't just. But you know what? You can't pass up the orange chicken, no matter how much they lie. I don't care if it's. They tell you right there, the title. I mean, between that and Tom Hanks eating babies, that orange chicken is panda meat. And the Chinese spread Covid through through it. And New Covet's coming. New Covet's like new Coke July 6th. And then covert original recipe comes back six months later. We all remember how much we like that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So he lost his mind and I giggled for 20 minutes because I thought to myself, this. This guy.

[Brady]

What if he's right?

[John Holmberg]

Your brain does that now.

[Brady]

What if he's right? They've been pushing that trans agenda the whole time. Wouldn't it make more sense? Sense? Charlie Kirk found out that his wife was having sexual relations with a a dick having Candace Owens and then they make babies because that's they weren't using protection. That's against God. But then again, so is having a dick and dressing like a woman. It's very confusing. I just know that it makes me sad.

[John Holmberg]

Good. Couldn't wait.

[Brady]

There's a line inside. I'll just wait till that dissipates. But in the meantime, listen to that

[Guest]

this

[Brady]

you don't like it. You don't like what I'm saying. My name is DeAndre, a Los Angeles Lakers. Take it up with me.

[John Holmberg]

Hey everybody, it's John Holberg and Brett

[Todd]

Vesley from the morning sickness. And if you love great sound in

[John Holmberg]

your vehicle like we do, you got to check out Quality Car Stereo.

[Todd]

These guys are local right here in Mesa and they have some of the greatest sounding equipment equipment in the business.

[John Holmberg]

We're not talking about just louder. We're talking about cleaner, rich or real concert quality sound. Go see them in Mesa or check them out online. Qualitycars.com Quality Car Stereo when you want your ride to sound as good as

[Todd]

it looks, trust us, you'll hear the difference immediately.

[John Holmberg]

Go to the website right now. Qualitycarsterioaz.com this podcast is sponsored by Talk Space.

[Guest]

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[John Holmberg]

sickness are you ready Brady? Ready. Pick a word and then I'll read that one first. First baseman's mitt Pegging or presa canario?

[Brett Vesely]

Let's go with the first baseman's mitt.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, we'll go first baseman's mitt. We'll see what we're talking about there. Here's your question? It says, hey, Brady, my wife's vagina has gone from paper cut. And I stole that from your pal Ralphie May. I died when he said that. On the air. Air to a first basement smith with the laces pulled out. Picture it for a second. It's a mess. Flopping fingers say Rawlings on it. Got a scoop for a pinky. It says, we have no kids. I'm an average sized man. 7 inches. Not too thick. I haven't been able to tell her that this thing is just tumbling out. I looked at a video of us from when we first got together in 2007, and it was amazing. Drastically different down there. How is this happening? She's the only one I've been with, so I don't know about women's parts. Is this normal? Do all of them start to tumble out of themselves?

[Brett Vesely]

Pete, I don't think. I don't think they all do. But there's good news. You can always. You can relace the glove.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you can't relace the glove. The class action lawsuit about how those fall out, too. Once it starts to tumbling out, it tumbles out. Here's the thing about that. That, you know, in California, I always have the mudslide signs.

[Brett Vesely]

Put some plants.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you got to put some ice plant in that. But once the mudslide happens, and I learned this the hard way when I lived in Pasadena, once it happens, you're susceptible to it forever. You can't plant enough ice plants for a meltdown.

[Brett Vesely]

A sliding.

[John Holmberg]

You can try.

[Brett Vesely]

Slide.

[John Holmberg]

Try to get some roots in there.

[Brett Vesely]

Mudslide.

[John Holmberg]

It's a life. Mudslide slide. It's a vaginal mudslide, which is the worst drink I've ever had at TGI Fridays. Vaginal mudslides, once they happen. And we've coined that phrase, trademark that. Brett, let's get some money for this. You're at risk of that constantly happening. So, Brady, your solution is true. She can't go to a doctor and spend $30,000 to. It's expensive to bring it on up, but it's basically marionette strings holding that thing up, and eventually one might pop and down she goes. Does it happen to all women?

[Brett Vesely]

I think you want to do that before the mudslide.

[John Holmberg]

You want to tighten it up before.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

You don't. Well, you don't want.

[John Holmberg]

You. How do you prolapsing. How do you tell your wife, hey, before it's too late? You can't. She's not going.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know.

[John Holmberg]

Pulled up if it's not falling out. Also, I think it's time you had to talk about what toys she uses when you're not there.

[Brett Vesely]

And has there been some extra innings with her?

[Todd]

I mean, maybe Keyshawn's visiting.

[John Holmberg]

That's the thing I'm wondering. Yeah. Something else is pulling that out. You got no kids, but now her vagina has a mouth for war. Quote Pantera.

[Brett Vesely]

Might be a good question to ask, you know, your future partner, you know, the mother.

[John Holmberg]

Huh.

[Brett Vesely]

How did you age? How's it age?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you want to see mom's vagina first, because that's.

[Brett Vesely]

You don't need to say. You just need to ask her.

[John Holmberg]

Do you have any photos? Genitals?

[Todd]

Just what you want to see. A 60 year old catcher's Man.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's what a. That's what Dr. Rick's talking about all the time, of people turning into their parents.

[Brett Vesely]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Means if her mom's honey pot tumbled,

[Brett Vesely]

there's gonna be tumbling.

[John Holmberg]

And her mother and her mother before her.

[Brett Vesely]

But like you said, that's a tough one. You don't know. And how do you discuss that with her?

[John Holmberg]

You can't.

[Brett Vesely]

You can't.

[John Holmberg]

You can't look at it and go. You know, you could.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't think you'll like the.

[Brady]

No, you're not.

[Brett Vesely]

The results. I don't think you'll like the feedback.

[John Holmberg]

Do you think she's aware of it?

[Brett Vesely]

To a certain extent, I would have to say. I would think so.

[John Holmberg]

Would you know, if you're.

[Brett Vesely]

Is that why? Maybe sometimes. Well, she's not shutting down, but if it's.

[John Holmberg]

Well, fine.

[Brett Vesely]

He's not really saying that.

[John Holmberg]

No, but he is. If the. If through time slowly it started to get gross, she. I don't know that would notice that it's ever been different. Like, if it just happened overnight, she

[Todd]

had a before and after.

[John Holmberg]

All right, that's. He's got the video.

[Guest]

Right?

[John Holmberg]

Well, so maybe freeze the video at a crucial moment, go through the video and get it.

[Brett Vesely]

There is a possibility that she might not notice.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Does it happen to her gradually?

[Brett Vesely]

Because if she did. If it was. If. If it really started to bother, you would know and she would say, I want to do something about it.

[John Holmberg]

How about this? This only works if you're at Brady's house.

[Guest]

But if you.

[John Holmberg]

If you've got a fish tank, why don't you tell her to get in there and clean up the side, Place that thing up there and do a little pleas stuff. Right.

[Brett Vesely]

If you could just.

[John Holmberg]

Oscar.

[Brett Vesely]

Fish scrape the glass with it.

[John Holmberg]

Scrape the algae off there.

[Todd]

Go to Arby's, have a conversation about it. And, you know, I mean, maybe she'll get the hint when she sees the Arbecue up there.

[John Holmberg]

Take her to Arby's and turn your sandwich sideways and eat it like that. And she goes, what are you doing? Like, I don't know. I just. It just looks so familiar, and I can't quite figure out why. Are you saying I look like that? Oh, my God, you're right. Make her be the one who says it. Oh, my God, it does look like your stuff.

[Brett Vesely]

Their new slogan is we save relationships

[John Holmberg]

and then take her one of those places that serves those tiny tacos. I need it this way. And go. This reminds me of something, too, but I haven't seen it in years. There's no way out of this.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't think so.

[John Holmberg]

She has to be the one that knows.

[Brett Vesely]

And maybe she hears it today.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What's her name? Email me back. We'll shame it out of it. We'll do it. We should do the Dream Killers. Give her a call. But, man, you'd be dead. Your husband called a radio station and said that your stuff's falling out, especially this show. And you described it as Anthony Rizzo's first base glove. If you took all the laces out of it, it. Oh, yeah, we couldn't. That's the War of the Roses. We would lose anyway. Brady, I don't know if that's the first time that everyone in the room just says, we ain't got an answer for you.

[Brett Vesely]

I think it is.

[John Holmberg]

You just have to grin and bear it. Get beat up by that car wash every once in a while. That poor woman.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, the fact that she still likes to get it on is big.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's big to you. Like, she likes, so she.

[Todd]

Apparently.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but she's not complaining about it. Yeah, so you're acting like she's walking around with no pride or like she's ashamed she doesn't know. So she wants to do it because she doesn't think. Because you're noticing, like, over and you notice it. And it's not fair what you've done. You've comped her to 2007. And she was like, you don't look the same either. Look at that video and see what's wrong with you. And then point out maybe, man, I watched the video of us from 2007. Here's what I think's wrong with me. Now you do you. What's different about you. Let's. That's fun. Okay, we solved it. Watch the video together and say, look at my gut. I used to be a man. And then point out your flaws and go, what do you see different about you? Because I'm not seeing much. And you know, that's a nice fake compliment. Lie to her. And then she'll be like, oh, my God, I don't know. And then. Then like is, do you think your vagina looks the same? Cuz I think my wiener doesn't look the same. I think it looks the same. And then, you delusional, look at it again. Maybe she's been cloned. Maybe it's a Jim Carrey thing.

[Brett Vesely]

Hey, it's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees. I have heard enough of this.