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John Holmberg
It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. Time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins dot com. Another satisfied listener called TV's Doug Hopkins and sold her home for cash. She reached out. Her name's Ashley, and Doug wants to make it simple. Buy your house for cash as is. You don't have to do anything. Just like Ashley, no strings attached. If he moves that price, you get $5,000. Want to sell that place? Start the process online@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing hopkins. 1-800-sale now you know when you're looking for your fix comedy. Here in the Valley, we have three amazing clubs that feature some of the best comedians in the world. Up on the north end of town, you can visit the beautiful desert ridge improv. Downtown in cityscape, you've got stand up live and east side. Right there in the heart of asu, it's the legendary Tempe improv. Plenty of entertainment for you and your guests and you can even grab some food and drink. So see why the Valley is a comedy destination and get your tickets by going to desertridgeimprov.com standuplive.com and tempeimprov.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. That's a way to kick her off right here.
Brett Vesely
That's strong.
John Holmberg
Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Monday. It is 5:45. It's the morning sickness. My name's John Holmberg. How are you? There's Brady Bogan back from Ohio to watch his nephew's wedding. There's Brett. He's one crown down. And there's big dick Toledo getting me a drink right now as prescribed by his job title. Oh, boy, what a weekend. First off, we'll start with you. Eight minute wedding. You said Charlie Wolf. That's getting her done. Oh, eight minute wedding. I'm never going to another wedding again in my life. That is a promise to you, the American people, and I will follow through on that forever. Don't invite me. Don't ask me. I don't want to go. I never wanted to go ever. Never wanted to go to a wedding. They're all the same. I'll happily go to your reception afterwards. The party is fun. I don't need to watch that. The divorce rate is incredibly high. Chances are I'll catch another one of your weddings later. But I'm not going anymore. Funerals from here on, that's All I do now. Aren't you glad you spent thousands of dollars to fly back for eight minutes? Exactly. That is kind of a ripoff in a weird way. You should get some cash.
Brett Vesely
Well, the reception wasn't eight minutes.
John Holmberg
Yeah, but still, you kind of want, like, that was it. I could have skipped this and then shown up for the reception. But eight minutes is you get all dressed up and you get all stuff.
Brett Vesely
It was amazing.
John Holmberg
That's pretty great, though.
Brett Vesely
Is it? That's it.
John Holmberg
Through the I dos out. It's like, do you. Yep. Do you? Yep. All right, here. Say some nice things. We're out of here. That's great. Yeah. Eight minute weddings are always the better kind. It was really good. Brett went to the Renaissance festival this weekend. Yeah. Fantastic work there. Oh, yeah. Thank you. And, yeah, and I took a cripple to lunch. Josh Blue and I went to lunch for. It was about it, but it was fun. And then, of course, the big news. Everybody's blabbing on and on about and old judgment. Johnny is back and smiling. How you guys doing? My way is taken over. We bombed Iran. So far, so good. And people, I got an email right away. We just talk about that. Let's find out. And this is going to be awesome because it's going to piss off. I'll get letters from both Republicans and Democrats. I'll be a liberal cuck. Howard Stern want to be again. Or I'll be some lunatic right wing, you know, fringe crazy person. It's a, you know, a Trump tart. And it's going to be just because I say the following. Bombing Iran. I may not be all about the. How we went about this, but I compare it to this. You know that kid back in junior high that was picking on everybody? Allen Gully. And he's kicking people. There was a kid named Robert and a kid named Kelly when I was in sixth grade. And they'd come watch it. We'd go play in the park and play baseball. And they'd ride that cruddy little motorcycle. They had that little two stroke thing that they were allowed to. They were the Kelly Leak type bike. Yeah, exactly. And they were like 15. You'd hear coming off the road, you're like, ah, we're in the park. They hide. Here comes Robert and Kelly. And then Robert and Kelly would ride their bikes down and interrupt our baseball game and then grab me or Mike Burkhart because we were little, and pick us up and like rough us up. And then they'd throw us in garbage cans or stuff us under a picnic table and wouldn't let us out. They were horrible. Fast forward about 20 years, news comes out Kelly was hiking Four Peaks and went to reach for a rock to pull himself up, and the rock gave loose and crushed him to death. Sure, that's a tragic story for the family, but deep down, I'd been kind of rooting for something like that for a good long time. Ever since I was trying to work my way out of a garbage can at Everheart Park. That's the same thing with Iran. I necessarily like the how, but deep down, for about 47 years, we've all been going good. I wish they'd get cancer. Like, we've hated them. Yeah. So in a weird way, we're like, maybe we don't like how we went about this. Like, it's going to drag us into a. But if it means up Iran, I guess I'm okay with that. That seems. Yeah. Ayatollah's getting killed. We. Look, I'm 53. The majority of my life, this place has been Pricksville Earth. Like. Like every time, it's like, what did Iran have to do with it? Everything. So them. You know, I don't want troops to get. You know, you go through the regular things of saying, I don't want troops, that I certainly don't want any Americans hurt and everything like that. But if it means kicking Iran and the nuts hard enough that Iran finally goes away before and I can spend the last 10 or 15 years I got left on this planet not worrying about those sticks anymore, then I'm all for this. I still don't understand how we obliterated all their stuff about eight months ago and now we're back there. That's a different story in a can of worms. We can open up another day, but deep down.
Brett Vesely
And I'm going to get jacked around for gas again.
John Holmberg
Exactly. And then our 401ks are going to take a beating for a few days. But the Bully in school 47 years later has, like, a malignant tumor and it's not good. Okay, I'm pretty happy with that. That seems nice. That was great. Joy. When I found out that Kelly guy got crushed by a rock, he was a horrible little toad. Now, he might have changed his ways in the years between stuff and Burkhart and I and cans and, you know, the day that that rock killed him. But deep down, the people. There were a lot of people who were like, oh, my God, did you hear about Kelly? No. What happened? A rock crushed him while he was hiking and my reaction was, oh, dude, that's terrible. You know, you say it through a smile.
Brett Vesely
According to Trump, there's 48 Kelly's taken out.
John Holmberg
There's a lot of Kelly's taken. You know what? Good. We got a lot of those Kelly's. We dropped them like rocks, you know, that's what we did. And they're idiots, so they're just straighting now. Anybody bombing uae. And the most important thing I saw in the news about that Lindsay Lohan's okay. She lives there, you know, in Dubai. Here's how I know again. My. My fat. My fat red faced me. That's coming out in like conspiracy theories. Yes, it's all real. I understand that this is real. But it all seems so strangely different than before. I went on Saturday morning. As you know, it happened as we're sleeping. And so I go on Saturday morning to get some news and I'm like, holy cow, Mom. And I ran. And then it said, cutter takes. Takes blows from Iran. And there's their lobbing bombs. A cutter video here. I'm like, oh, my God. And it said tel Aviv intercepts 30 missiles video here. I'm like, oh, I don't want to be a salacious weirdo about this, but I want to watch rockets get blown up. I like things floating. So I'm thinking maybe this would be fun. And when I clicked on these very serious World War 3 type videos, I realized the world we lived in is just a simulation. And isn't. Isn't that real or serious about anything? Because in order for me to see cut her get blown up by bombs, I had to sit through a 32nd DSW Shoe Warehouse commercial first. So I'm really, really not sure this matters as deeply to all people that I do now know that there's a 30% off sale at DSW. And I'm like, that's nice. And then I watch bombs blow up buildings because in order for me to get my news that's very weighted, I had to sit through a video of shoe sales. And then the next one was targeting me for Mugsy jeans because I like Mugsy. Jeff, you don't. If you're looking for a jeans company and can't mugs these great Mugsy jeans. It's a little side endorsement there I'm doing because I really enjoy those jeans. I'm not getting paid for that one, but I'm telling you, they're good jeans. And then so before I could watch the supreme leader of Ayatollah blah, blah, blah, ran whatever this guy was before, and they were showing videos of him screaming, death to America. I'm like, oh, I'll click on that. I got an ad for nice jeans and I considered maybe shopping a little there, but it's summer. Not going to wear a lot of jeans coming next few months. While I'll wait for September's war to find out Mugsy's New Deal. So, yeah, I'm watching advertisements for. You know, I don't think they ever did that. When Edward R. Murrow came on and said, we're dropping bombs on Germany right now. And two schools were hit, but first, Vermont teddy bears. Don't you want one for this holiday season? Like, oh, my God, is he doing an ad in the middle of. On 9 11. We were doing this show and our boss called us to tell us, what do you. Why are you just playing news? Because we just went on and switched over to the news feed because we didn't know what was going on. And he said, God damn it, get back on the air and play those ads. I said, I don't think people care about the Labor Day sales right now, Chuck. Play the goddamn ads. All right, so in the middle of, like, a second plane has hit the building. You heard me, come back in and go, hey, we gotta interrupt this real quick just to let you know that Burge Mazda is gonna have a hell of a deal on the weekend. I'm pretty sure that's still going on. It's the Labor Day special. Those are Mugsies. Mugsy jeans. I'm telling you, man, that's a fantastic Gene company.
Brett Vesely
Chuck. I don't think they want their commercials running during this.
John Holmberg
Right. Yeah, I don't think you're right. We're blowing things out of the water today. Like, oh, the Labor Day. That was back when car dealers just yelled at you the whole time. But back to my original point and the reason I'm beaming with pride, Brett, you should be, too. And here's where I'm gonna get the other side mad. All you liberal knobs that try to get everybody fired. I'm all for the bombing, but I'm not sure I like how. So I'm on the liberal side with that one. I'm like, they supposed to ask Congress for this kind of stuff? And I am a believer. You gotta sit through, sift through the rules. Then the reason he didn't ask Congress because loaded with a bunch of pussies that would have probably said no. But the best part is, for the last 15 years, and I don't think Society's gotten better because of it. All we've tried to teach people is don't judge anyone. Don't judge people. That's bad. Don't do it. Don't see color, don't see shape, don't see weirdos. Don't see a dude in a dress and say anything. Don't do it. It's everybody's allowed to be whatever they are. Till now. The news won't tell you to stop. Keep your head on the swivel. See something weird now it's people like me who are often confused for racists. But we're not. We're self sustaining bigots. That's one of them. We all are deep down. This isn't just a white people thing to run around and judge everybody. We just are the best at it. Black people don't see a group of dudes in leather with shaved heads and go, let's just go meet these individuals. You cross the straight to protect yourself. So now all I saw two news stories this morning on tv, one on the radio, big features with terrorism experts. Keep your head on a swivel. You see something weird, I mean there's no, no time. You see a guy in a sweatshirt in the middle of summer, so he's up to no good. Judge people by the way they look is back and it is safer. It's a better way to live. The days of look at this weirdo are back and you can't get fired for it anymore. Don't take advantage of it. Get us all in trouble. Be real with it. Don't just point out anybody who's like, I don't like that Mexican. That's not what we're doing here. Unless of course you don't like the look of that Mexican because he's up to no good. Keep your head on a swivel. They're constantly telling us, all right, it's time to be like your grandpa again. Start judging everybody by the way they look and act accordingly afterwards. It's a great time to be alive. Oh great, it's all in the family again, huh? Kinda tell me how this, this world's gotten more lovey dovey and more accepting with the whole let your freak flag fly. I haven't. So I don't know nobody. Wrong person, everybody. We're all fighting. I remember back in the 70s and 80s, we were proud, you know, we had our differences, but it wasn't like this where everybody's screaming and yelling at each other about trans this, gay that black this, white that cop this ice that we didn't do it. We were mad about stuff. We're always mad about something. But that whole system broke free of like, don't judge anyone. Don't look at people. If they want to be that way, they can be. If they're acting crazy, you let them. Not anymore. One day in the Middle east and suddenly you drive by a mosque with one eye open, eyeballing them like you got a man. They're in there and you're allowed to now. And it doesn't mean you hate them. It just means you're going to survive because you're. You're not. I'm not going to judge anyone like I am. I'm in the airport. Oh, black this is where we can actually unite black, white, Mexicans, everything else. Looking around at that one poor bastard who's got a religion he chose that makes him dress crazy like a beekeeper and he's got to wander through the airport now. I feel sorry for him, but all eyes are on him.
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John Holmberg
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Brett Vesely
Walking through last night. Didn't notice that, you know, but you
John Holmberg
were looking for it. Had you seen it?
Brett Vesely
Best behavior.
John Holmberg
Had you seen blended? Oh, yeah. No, no, no. I'm taking that dress off. I'm walking around in a suit. I might go to like the DSW sale that they got going on for this war and I might buy some American clothes. Just wander around going, hello. No more screaming that ALU lock bar nonsense. Unless you're going to blow something up. And if you hear those words, duck. If they don't blow anything up, consider yourself lucky. Climb out from under whatever table you got when you heard it and move on. You hear any wacky music from instruments you don't understand, go the other way. That's not me talking. That's the government and the news. And I love it. Judge away, gang. Judge away the safer world. When we all act like the things in our heads are okay to feel. It's funny, they say that. Don't judge anybody. Everybody's allowed to think and do whatever they want. Well, then I don't like the look of this guy. Is something you should accept. No, accept that we don't like that.
Brett Vesely
Don't judge anything. But do you know this guy?
John Holmberg
Yeah. Who's that over there? I don't want to be. Who? Who are you talking about? That guy over there. Well, you gotta be more descriptive. The brown guy in the towel. Oh, yeah. No, he's good. He's all right. He stands there every day screaming about Akbar. Should we be concerned? Nah, of course we should be concerned. He's screaming al Akbar. That usually ends poorly for us. Yeah, this one was great. This, this. I saw this too, and I did laugh. The reporter that said, who do you think is going to be the next leader of Iran? And Trump says, I don't know, they're all dead. God damn it. We have basically a president with Asperger's and Tourette's at the same time. He's got no social skills whatsoever. And he says whatever he's thinking. This one says, I like seeing videos of the death Dorito, the B52 bomber, flying around blowing stuff up. Everybody likes that. Everybody likes that. You got to sit through an ad for it. If there's an ad for it, that means it's beloved. That means it's selling. Now, the word for 6am Speaking of, for the Metallica up in the sphere is enter. E N T E R. Enter. Like sandman, enter. And you can enter your first word at the app and@98kupd.com. Yeah, yeah. And it's not just whites. It's no longer fun to assume the best of people. And you see a group of like, you know, radical. You see that guy that blew up that thing over there in Austin? His shirt said closing time, Property of Allah. Anybody wearing a Property of Allah shirt right now? No. Good luck. No, I had the coolest shirt I've ever had when we were making friends with Russia for a little while. And remember, they were kind of fun.
Brett Vesely
Yeah.
John Holmberg
And they were. Oh, yeah, they weren't such dicks. And they turned into dicks again. There's a good 15 year period when, like, Russia and I, we're friends again. We had our eye on them, but we didn't. And then Putin came back and everything sucked. And then I had the shirt that was Yvonne Drago from Rocky iv and it just said Drago. And it was the Russian red with the. With the oil. The Soviet Union red like the flag with that golden. And it said Drago. And it had the hammer and the sickle on it. I mean, it's not even a place anymore. And. And then they went and I attacked that Ukraine. And I wore that to work once, not thinking. And two QAnon people who worked here almost killed me. They were furious that I was a supporter of the Russians. I'm like, Drago, I'm a supporter of the Rocky franchise. I didn't realize what I was doing here, and it wasn't a political stim. So I can't wear that shirt anymore because I'm smart. If you're walking around with a property. If you have a Property of Allah sweatshirt that goes in the back. Now we're not. No, no, no.
Brett Vesely
What is the. On the way home from the airport, going by the. A mountain. There's that C with a star in it.
John Holmberg
No, I don't know. I'm seeing that. I haven't seen that.
Brett Vesely
And I just want to. It.
John Holmberg
Oh, it's the crescent moon. Yeah.
Brett Vesely
That's why I don't know what, but it did kind of look like that. And I'm like, oh, is it a
John Holmberg
high holiday right now or Ramadan maybe that's why they decorate a mountain for Ramadan. Well, see, that's kind of crap we're against. That's kind of garbage. Now that we can say, see something. Say something. I don't need that up there. I don't need that. No, I don't like that. They do that for when they put the. The. That teenager that the Lord stuffed a baby in and they have Jesus things up. They wouldn't need that either. That's a mountain. It doesn't. It's not.
Brett Vesely
Well, if that's up there, I do want that cradle lit up in neon.
John Holmberg
I don't. I don't care for the 13 year old mom who woke up pregnant and had some story to tell you. Don't eat her up there. You don't need the Ramidan. You don't need your mountains to be religious. I see something. Say something. Report that, Brady. That sounds weird. And it'll be great on the phone too. 91 1. Hi, my name's Brady. I want to report a. Some sort of weird muzzy behavior on top of a mountain. Go ahead. Yeah, I got. There's like a capital C and a star looks. I don't know. It's fishy. I think they're gonna blow up the stadium.
Brett Vesely
Is that for the Cubbies?
John Holmberg
I was looking around. I don't know. It has nothing to do with Luke Bryan. So it's not the Extra Innings Festival. What the hell is that? I'll tell you what. That would have made me nervous if I was over there at that Extra Innings Festival for. They had that retard weekend. I don't know if you noticed. They had this all country music this week. So they did a very special.
Brett Vesely
Must have ended early.
John Holmberg
It was a very special weekend for special needs people. They could all gather at Tempe Town Lake. That's where Dale was last week. That's right. Yeah. Well, he was trying to find it, so we had to leave Thursday. But yeah, a bunch of special needs people gathered at Tempe Town Lake in some sort of festival for them. And they got to listen to rudimentary music played by equally stupid people. It's called country music for those of you who are normal and don't dabble with the nonsense. But if there was a. I'm surprised that they didn't just destroy that because that's one step behind him. If there's Some sort of weird Middle Eastern symbol on the mountain. Luke Ryan. I'm surprised he didn't just create an army of 75 IQ people to go storm that.
Brett Vesely
Maybe they waited until after it was over.
John Holmberg
I thought that stood for Coors Banquet, myself. That's why I left it up there. I thought for sure that was a gold jacket. Well, no, it would have been like, hey, y', all, there's something Ramadani going on on our mountain. And they're going, we should go get it. And then they all were like, rah. And they turned to find the mountain, and they all got lost, and they all walked into the lake, and it was terrible. It's a great thing, man. It's a great thing that went on this weekend. I, again, like wars. I don't like blowing stuff up, but for Christ's sake, I do love when the mixed message of we need love and peace and no judgment and all this other stuff. When. When it comes down to being serious, we put on our judgment floaties and we get back in the pool, because we all do it now. You can't get fired for it anymore, so, you know, go nuts. You see that one dude at work that's a little bit off, and he starts blabbing away about how much he can't. Like, he's a big fan of the Palestinians and the. And he's mad about everything, and he's. Oh, boy. It's time to report, Raja. That's what I like.
Brett Vesely
And when you hear from the UK and Germany and France, like, okay, let us know if you.
John Holmberg
Yeah, there needs some backup. They didn't say anything.
Brett Vesely
If you could go back to negotiating that. Right, we'd like to see that, rather.
John Holmberg
Well, they said all the right things, but again, they say that it's the bully with cancer. Deep down, we're all kind of a little bit like, all right, you kind of went rogue on this one. But I'm not against the target. Pain in my ass. 53 years old. I remember when I was in first grade, they stole all those people, the embassy, and they. For 440 days, they had 79. Oh, it's terrible. Carter was in. Carter, it was terrible. And every day, I was scared to death. You try that on for size. There are only three channels, and all three of them are showing that Ayatollah Khomeini guy back in 70, and I was 6, and bad dreams about that dude. He was a. He was a. He looked like a bad guy from a movie. And all black. That big, weird beard. I Didn't understand that. So I immediately was introduced to Iran with scary Darth Vader type figures. And they never stopped being dicks the whole time. They've never once been like, man, Iran's cool about that. Never. I don't like war, but in this particular case
Brett Vesely
I don't.
John Holmberg
I look, there was kind of a wry smile on my face when they said 48 of their leaders died. I'm like, that's a stats. I was giggling. That's a pretty good hit. Didn't Saudi Arabia even start bombing them too? They threw one at Saudi Arabia like what are you thinking? Even Iran's like. Or a Saudi Arabia's like, Iran is dicks. The crown prince dicks.
Brett Vesely
They love the luxury hotel.
John Holmberg
And Dubai got popped by. Yeah, a beautiful hotel. Saudi Arabia took a couple of punches. Iran just got mad at everybody cuz they're dick just started throwing stuff out there as bad as the Middle east is. And we can say that now Iran's the drunk uncle of it. They're having a party over there that no, but none of us want to go to. It's like, but Iran is the one that even they're like, oh, Iran's here. Great. This is going to end in bloodshed.
Brett Vesely
Well, it's been hanging over for years that like, I mean if they would ever get the nuclear technology, whatever. Oh no doubts are going to. But, but that's, that's what we're.
John Holmberg
There's where the DSW. DSW Shoe Warehouse is for. For 47 years. I've also heard they're a week or two away from a nuclear bomb. Yeah, exactly. We've been looking for a reason to kick them in the pills. And we did it. And it lets us be normal again because for a little while at least we'll all have a common enemy. Sorry Iranians, there's not a lot of you. You guys are going to have to assimilate a little bit. You can't go wander on screaming at how great Iran is right now. And God forbid you walked up and down streets with that flag saying please stop it. It's not going to go over very well.
Brett Vesely
We're gonna get a surge of more families from Iran coming over here trying to get out.
John Holmberg
They're the good ones.
Brett Vesely
Sales of Z28s are going to go iroxy.
John Holmberg
Yep, yep. Speakers being sold out of cars and stuff like that. It's gonna be amazing. Real estate agents that get good deals because they yell at everybody along the way if they want to come over here. All right. But you can't come over here and start screaming about how you want it to be. You're leaving for a reason. This one said Trump told the reporter, made me laugh. He said, reporter said, when do you think the bombing will stop? And he said, whenever we feel like it. These are not the patent like statements we were expecting from our leader. But it's like one of us being in charge when I get around, whenever I'm done. And then somebody asked him yesterday, he said, well, what about, like, you're wasting a lot of our rebuilt military on this. Just lobbing. So we've got so much ammunition all over the world. We're stockpiled everywhere.
Brett Vesely
Well, they threw that out there. We heard there might be an ammunition short.
John Holmberg
There's not. No, we got it everywhere. We've been jamming it into every country that'll let us. Trust me, we're good. And then they kept showing that clip of him a couple years ago and saying something about Iran. And they showed the Kamala Harris thing. When the guy in 60 minutes said, what do you say to Iran if they decide to go after the nuclear thing? And commodities goes, we don't. He goes, so that's your one word answer to them down or what? Just down. And then they showed the clip of Trump. What are you gonna do? I will bomb the out of them. Like, Jesus Christ, where are we? Brought to you by DSW Shoe Warehouse. So Mugsy jeans. And Mugsy jeans. That was the one, too. Cause that I didn't even hit. So skip ad. I'm like, what's the deal? Because these are great jeans. Before I see bombs hitting Tel Aviv, I need to know if this is a 50% off. I'm buying a bunch. It's 20% off right now. Is it 20? Okay. I would have hit skip ad for that. Although that's still a good deal if you're getting. I have plenty. But for 50% off, I'd pile on 20% off. I'm like, I got enough of those. I probably have 15 pairs of those. That's the best jeans I've ever bugs. Oh, they're great. They're great. And they're not. They're just great jeans. Trust me. Spend 200 bucks, get a free hat. Yeah, there you go. I have a hat. I actually have a mugsy hat. I already got it. I'll wear. I'll wear it tomorrow. I actually have. It makes my eyes pop. It's blue. Kind of a greenish blue pool. Blue eyes. When I wear that hat. Beautiful. I like it. It's John Holmberg here for Life Changer Loans. Whether you're buy a home, trying to refinance or improve things financially, you got to focus on one thing. Clarity. You don't have to do it the old way. Life Changer Loan is here to help. Call my friend Shane o' Grady at Life Changer Loan and see if it's for you. Good credit, good with money. There is more than just the old fashioned bank loan. And if you want to see what's possible financially in your life that's different than what you're doing now, start@lifechangerloan.com Life Changer Loan. It's not magic. It's just math. It's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness to tell you about the Core Institute. People who met me found out that I've had four major operations in the last four years. They're blown away. I've had both shoulders replaced and both hips replaced because I was an absolute disaster before my surgeries. I was in pain. Now no one knows I've had any issues. People who hear multiple surgeries assume they'll never be the same again. It's just not true. I'm better than I've been in 20 years. Stop quitting the things you love and get back to being the pain free you you love. Thecoreinstitute.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness Anyway, head on a swivel, everybody. I love the deeper meaning of that. I love the subtext to head on a swivel. Start judging people again. It's okay to be racist for a minute. We're telling you. Go ahead, cnn. We're the first ones doing it too. We just have to keep our eyes open. Now as Americans. Oh, I'm of all people, look around and judge everything. You see a freak run, some dude in a dress walking around. Yeah. Yikes. You know how many guns you can hide under a dress?
Brett Vesely
Makes you think about going into big crowds again?
John Holmberg
No, I'm not crazy, but. But if I do go into a big crowd, I'm gonna look around for the one dude because the new set. Dress. New set. Oh, there's a guy in a dress. Hey, everybody, keep your eyes on that weirdo. And I am sorry. We gotta. Now's the time we have to all assimilate to act normal around each other. It's great. Yes. The only ones. This guy says, hey, Chancellor. Now see, this is. I wasn't going on either side. The only one upset are the lib cuts with tds. You only need look at the many celebrations of Iranians all over the world. It was a good day. Oh, yeah. You know, it depends on what news you were watching. There were celebrations, and the other news would tell you it was terrible. I don't care so much about that, but I. I sure did like the. The powers that be starting to tell everybody. You know, it's probably a good idea to look at weirdos as weirdos again. Not just not. Not make me feel bad for seeing a weirdo and say, that guy's a little off. How dare you. No, no, no. We're at the. We're past that. That's over. I see a weirdo walking into the PETA jungle. I'm like, hey, Dougie, grab your stuff. We're getting out of here. Why? That phrase is back. Grandpa's phrase of I don't like the looks of this character. And then you just leave places. It's phenomenal way to live free. We all do it. We reacted.
Brett Vesely
We were.
John Holmberg
We're faking. That's why there's so much, I think, tension in the world. It's because we all fake it. We're not allowed to go, Jesus, that guy's nuts. Now Brett and I can go to lunch and do that. Oh, I look around and go, look at this guy. Should we leave? Like, we're always looking at the next dude coming to the PETA jungle to see if we should leave. And sometimes I'm excited about it, like, we should go. That guy's. I don't like the looks of this at all. And it's not just, you know, one group. I steer clear of those intersections where you got those people with the sandwich boards with pictures of Jesus all bloodied up, screaming through a bullhorn at me about how I got to save myself. I don't trust you either. Although they are not. They're Very rarely do they bomb stuff. One of those people is going to be unhinged one of these days. I dodged them.
Brett Vesely
Walk through a big crew on the way to the innings festival right across the street.
John Holmberg
Oh, they drive you bananas. And hey, Jesus freaks with the thing. Don't you think God would have wanted you to spread his message on a better sound system than a bullhorn? I can't understand a thing you're saying.
Brett Vesely
Enjoy the music.
John Holmberg
You're going to hell. Shut up. If I wanted to hear that, I'd listen to Dead and Bloated at the beginning of the STP song. Shut up. You're ruining the intersection. How are you doing this? You're Wrecking it. You're making an intersection. The worst part of my day. It's just supposed. The light's supposed to change and I'm supposed to follow the rules and walk to this thing and not. You were wrecking my day. Has this ever worked? Has anyone? God, I'd love to hear the rest of your message, Will. I think I want to be a. You. You swayed me. Yeah, you did. I can't believe it, but it worked.
Brett Vesely
Got five today.
John Holmberg
They've never recruited a single person. Not one bullhorn. Jesus. Great band.
Brett Vesely
Name someone staying like, you know what? I'm not going to this. I'm not going to concert.
Dick Toledo
I'm staying here.
John Holmberg
I'm gonna skip the sun's game, guys. Why? I don't know. That dude got me and whatever he's saying seems like I should follow it. I'm gonna skip the suns game tonight. I know, I know it's Oklahoma City. I probably shouldn't, but this guy makes a lot of sense. Never. I want to see your numbers. So Todd, did you get anybody? You don't have to use the bull. Put it down, Todd. No. No recruits today, boss. Yes, we're. Oh, forever. What are we doing wrong? Wonder if the guy with the cross on wheels is still out there on Mill Avenue. He's got to be 60 or 70 by now. Be Jesus. Except gonna make it a little more convenient than Jesus. I got wheels. You're dragging that cross around. Turn. He put fake blood on his face.
Brett Vesely
They just re up it. Another guy.
John Holmberg
Yeah. Takes the cross, he passes it down. Yeah, that's nice. That's a nice thing. Jesus forfeited a weekend for you people. He gave up a full weekend and then came back. And you want to follow me? He did only four foot a weekend. When he puts it that way, that's kind of a he died for your sins. But it was really just a three day weekend. And then he came back and he knew it. So it doesn't really. Anyway, those people drive me nuts too. Either way, judge away, folks. Judge away. But again, don't go crazy. Just know that your inner bigot's allowed to breathe right now. Just a little. And he's gonna keep you safe. Your inner bigot is a jerk, but he's gonna keep you safe. It's that voice in your head that goes, check on that guy over there. And then the nice party goes, now calm down. That's probably a very nice person. Maybe they're just confused. And your inner bigot goes, that dude is mentally ill. Across the Street. We should listen to the inner bigot. And sometimes you do, sometimes you don't. But now you don't have to talk him out of anything. Now he's inner bigots taking the lead for a little bit. Oh, so great to hear on ktar. They did a whole segment on my drive in this morning of like, should we listen to our inner bigot right now? And the guy on the phone's like, oh, God, yes, absolutely. The inner bigot is so right right now. It's an amazing time for the inner bigot. And it's a human feature. It's called sink or swim. Just to recognize danger around the corner. And right now, be on a heightened alert for anything you don't like. All of them too. It doesn't even matter. White, black, Mexican, we can all unite over the fact that weirdos need to be pointed out and removed. What should you do if you see someone? Oh, just dodge them or call the police. Like, oh, this is Run, run. Scream. Point, point at them and say, that guy. I love it. And I want to do that to everybody. I'm gonna. You know what I might do? I might call the police. Just on son's games, walking across the street over there to the bullhorn. Jesus, people. Get them all wrangled up. You got a permit for this? You're driving me crazy. Don't need a permit for the Lord. Yeah, why don't you go take that somewhere else?
Brett Vesely
Here's the sax. Play this.
John Holmberg
No, that guy can stay all he wants. Especially that single note sax guy who never learned any. Any of the. He just single note songs all the way through and plays over a tape on your way to Diamondbacks games. That dude's fantastic. He's got the musical backing of, you know, my Sharia Moore and just.
Brett Vesely
He plays Earth Winning Fire.
John Holmberg
Oh, he's got them all. But he plays the Stevie Wonder lyric part just one note at a time. Like that guy doesn't even try to rehearse. You want money for that? I think I could learn that in an hour. He hasn't got a song down or anything. He's got all of them down, but it's just single notes. He doesn't do any cool sax stuff. So he's not playing like this. That brother did Men at work. I'd stick around. I might. You mind if I sing this? Go crazy cracker. Sing away. Why do you know this? I do not know. Who could it be knocking at my
Brett Vesely
door,
John Holmberg
but if I started singing, it would take his job away because he just. He Toodles. The lyric line. Yeah. I would stand there, dance around calling, hey, this thing Stay away. And then they start handing me money. I'm like, nope, give it to the dudes with the sacks. Are we a band right now? We sure are. Honk that thing. Whoa, big man. If they broke out who can it be? He broke out the who can it be now, give him five bucks next time you see him and see if he can bust it up, you know. Who can it be now, bud? What kind of crack of nonsense are you talking? Like some men at work. You don't know men at work? What, you're a sack player? That's one you should know. Not no sax player. I play individual notes.
Brett Vesely
What's your name, man?
John Holmberg
Clarence. Of course it's Clarence. I shouldn't even ask. I'm insane for saying that. All right, Clarence. I might just walk up to him. All right, Clarence. Let's do a little man at work. How'd you know my name? My inner bigot knows everything. Clarence, You regret that mayhem tattoo on your stomach, don't you? It didn't work out. I thought I'd be the first rapping sax player. Nobody wants that. Oh, that's the best.
Brett Vesely
He knocked it out a couple of months ago, that man at work.
John Holmberg
Hey. Oh, you can still go. There you go. Look at this. Standing up there outside of that ballpark. Give that man a dollar. Bullhorn. Jesus. Put that down. Get over here. Put this man a dollar. You say all God's creatures deserve something? Give him a buck. That is a good sax solo, too. This is a sax solo? It feels like they learned it yesterday. It's not very elaborate. All in on that. I'm just so happy. It almost feels like the ravens lost and we stuffed butt plugs up all the Iranian leaders over the weekend. And hopefully they won't stay a thorn in our side, but history is my guide. That Middle east is going to still suck no matter what we do. It's been pretty consistently crappy there for thousands of years.
Brett Vesely
Now, some military historians that said, you know, we haven't won any wars really, just lobbing missiles.
John Holmberg
Isn't it funny, though, that that area of the world, we don't trust pretty much anything they say or do. As far as, like, ugh, they always screw it up. They're nothing but miserable. And yet everybody's religion is based from that. If it started today, they'd be like, oh, don't listen to those people. They're driving us all nuts. They've not gotten one thing right through Thousands and thousands of years of existence. And yet they're the cradle of civilization. And Asia never pipes up. How are you the cradle of civilization? We had language and art and architecture and everything else. When the whole biblical times were going on, nobody paid attention to us. We were much more advanced. Asians just sat back sewing, looking over, going, you know, in a few weeks we can start making crosses for them and sell them at a discount. They're going to eat those up. They just started manufacturing, make the kids work anyway. Here's a paper crane. Yeah, they're making paper cranes. And then like, what do you guys like? We got billions of people over. We can. We can make whatever you want and we'll do it for a third of the cost. The rugs, crosses, everything made in China. More Air Jordans. They probably were making Air Jordans back when the Bible people were like, this is where it's all beginning. And they're like, you out of your mind. We're kicking ass taking names over here for a long time. Anyway, I love it. We're having a good day. Good weekend, everybody. Great job. And hopefully it goes quickly, you know, and hopefully the least amount of people are put in harm's way as possible. At least Americans. And again, judge away. Heading over to the attic for a burger today. Home burger still at the attic.
Brett Vesely
Nice.
John Holmberg
Still tasty. If you head on over there, somebody weird comes in, point at them, have the removed. The news said so it's okay. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? Although who can it Be now is pretty solid, I think so Five at five. Overkill. That's got a sack solo. Oh, do you have Overkill? Ready? Is a. And again. I don't think the sax player played sax. I think they're just like, can you straws, can you play sex? Kind of pick it up, follow along. Oh, this one. This one gets me. That's a great song. Yep. This cargo knows that in Discard, discard. I worry over situation. All right, sorry. Is that Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Jive or something? Yeah, that's right. Oh, be good, Johnny. And that was on the first. Was that on the first one? I don't know. I don't know albums. I'm not a men at work connoisseur. But you are. The first two albums, I'm like, all right. You're kind of like the Matt Penfield of men at work. Give us that wake up song. 5, 8, 5, 9, 800. The six o' clock word again is enter Metallica starts rolling along again. Today. This is the last week we'll have our big winner at the end of the week send you up to Sphere in Las Vegas to see the first two shows Metallica puts on all the Way out in October. Put you up in a hotel room, give you 200 in fuel and fire and that which you desire. And all you got to do is win this damn thing. Good luck to all of you and let's get that wake up song. We'll scream it together. It's 98k up.
Brett Vesely
Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.
John Holmberg
No membership fees. I have heard enough of this. It's Brett Vesely from Homur's. Morning sickness. Want to let you guys know about my friends over at Divine Design Landscaping.
Brett Vesely
Let me guess.
John Holmberg
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Dick Toledo
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Episode Theme:
A comedic, candid look at the recent U.S. strikes on Iran and their ripple effects—ranging from global politics and media reactions to cultural attitudes about vigilance, judgment, and, unexpectedly, the questionable sound systems of street preachers.
The episode kicks off with the team—John Holmberg, Brady Bogan, Brett Vesely, and Dick Toledo—using sharp humor to dissect the recent American bombing campaign on Iran in response to ongoing geopolitical tensions. They explore the societal shift toward "head on a swivel" vigilance, question the return of open judgment (or bigotry) as a ‘protective’ American instinct, and pivot to local Arizona observations, all through their irreverent, no-sugarcoating style.
On the U.S.–Iran Relationship
“Look, I’m 53. The majority of my life this place has been Pricksville Earth… Every time, it’s like, ‘What did Iran have to do with it?’ Everything.” – Holmberg [04:20]
War Footage and Commercials
“I don’t think they ever did that when Edward R. Murrow came on and said, ‘We’re dropping bombs on Germany right now… but first, Vermont Teddy Bears.’” – Holmberg [08:13]
Wokeness vs. Vigilance
"It’s a great time to be alive… The days of, ‘look at this weirdo’ are back and you can’t get fired for it anymore." – Holmberg [12:14]
Street Preacher Satire
“Name someone saying, ‘You know what? I’m not going to this Suns game. That dude got me—whatever he’s saying seems like I should follow it.’ Never!” – Holmberg & Brett [34:52]
Single-Note Sax Guy
"He Toodles the lyric line... Are we a band right now? We sure are—honk that thing." – Holmberg [39:07]
| Timestamp | Topic/Quote | |---------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:31 | Holmberg’s anti-wedding stance and comedic vow never to attend another wedding again | | 04:00 | Iran as the endless “bully”—the schoolyard analogy | | 07:21 | Ads before war news: “DSW Shoe Warehouse” absurdity | | 12:14 | “Look at this weirdo” – The societal permission to judge returns | | 16:17 | “Judge away, gang. Judge away—the safer world…” | | 17:23 | On Trump’s bluntness: “President with Asperger’s and Tourette’s at the same time…” | | 33:44 | Street preachers and their poor sound systems | | 38:20 | Saxophone buskers’ low-effort performances | | 39:07 | “He Toodles the lyric line. We sure are—honk that thing…” |
This episode delivers Holmberg’s signature comedic analysis of the week’s heavy news, dissecting the U.S. strikes on Iran, the media’s role in shaping reactions, and the American tendency to oscillate between tolerance and tribal ‘safety first’ judgment. The reflective yet smart-ass tone provides catharsis and conversation about modern vigilance, cultural contradictions, and the ridiculousness of both our biggest fears and public spectacles—right down to local street preachers who, in their own way, could use a sax solo or two.