03-03-25 - BR - MON - It's Natl Cold Cuts Day And Bret's Favorites - Eyeglass Store Worker Lured Customers w/Offers Of Sex - BV Of Karate Match Between 22yo Woman And Male Karate Champ

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: March 3, 2025
Title: It's Natl Cold Cuts Day And Bret's Favorites - Eyeglass Store Worker Lured Customers w/Offers Of Sex - BV Of Karate Match Between 22yo Woman And Male Karate Champ

Release Date: March 3, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Co-Hosts: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Introduction

In this energetic episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD, host John Holmberg teams up with co-hosts Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo to deliver a rollercoaster of discussions ranging from daily life anecdotes to bizarre news stories. The show seamlessly blends humor, shock value, and insightful commentary, ensuring listeners are both entertained and informed throughout their morning commute.

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Opening Monologue and Listener Stories (00:35 - 04:35)

John Holmberg kicks off the show with his signature blend of humor and candidness. He discusses receiving an email on the 35th anniversary of a traumatic event, sharing a listener’s story about overcoming a past gang rape trauma. Holmberg delivers a poignant message intertwined with his typical irreverent style.

Notable Quote:

John Holmberg (02:15): "It's hard to win Human of the Year because so many good people have won it. And also John J. But I want it."

Holmberg continues by recounting his experience at a baseball game, making sharp observations about wasted opportunities and unused resources, setting the tone for a show filled with candid and sometimes controversial topics.

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Brady Report Sponsored by All Pro Shade (04:35 - 08:35)

The Brady Report, hosted by Brady Bogen, provides local news with a twist. Sponsored by All Pro Shade Concepts, Brady highlights the importance of outdoor shade solutions in Arizona's intense climate. The segment blends promotional content with practical advice, emphasizing the company's expertise in creating comfortable outdoor living spaces.

Notable Quote:

John Holmberg (07:07): "If you like staying in the dark, then by all means listen to the Brady Report brought to you by All Pro Shade."

Brady then transitions to share quirky news facts, including NASA's observation of the Las Vegas Strip as the brightest spot on Earth from space and a brief dive into Samuel L. Jackson's Oscar nominations.

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National Cold Cuts Day Segment (05:19 - 07:07)

In celebration of National Cold Cuts Day, the hosts engage in a lively discussion about their favorite deli meats. The conversation delves into the nuances of different cold cuts, with light-hearted debates over terms like "baloney" and "prosciutto."

Notable Quote:

Brady (06:07): "Salami. Of course. Yeah."

The segment showcases the hosts' chemistry and ability to turn even mundane topics into engaging banter, keeping listeners entertained with their witty exchanges.

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Eyeglass Store Worker Lured Customers for Sex (13:06 - 15:05)

The hosts shift to a disturbing news story about Brian Steiner, an employee at two optical shops in Pennsylvania, who was charged with multiple counts of sexual assault. Steiner reportedly lured customers back by offering free glasses in exchange for sexual acts.

Notable Quote:

John Holmberg (14:12): "If you're walking around in free glasses and it happened to you, you got something to give them back, you got no beef."

The discussion navigates the ethical and legal implications of Steiner's actions, with the hosts dissecting the details and expressing their outrage over such manipulative behavior.

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Fashion Trends: Plumber's Crack from Milan Fashion Week (19:43 - 22:50)

Brady introduces a bizarre fashion trend emerging from Milan Fashion Week: the deliberate showcasing of plumber's crack in extremely low-cut jeans by Diesel. The hosts humorously critique the trend, juxtaposing high fashion with everyday practicality.

Notable Quote:

John Holmberg (20:07): "You better work it, girl. That's what I'm saying. But the rest of them, let's tug them up to your chest."

Holmberg extends the conversation to the average person’s reluctance to adopt such trends, adding a layer of social commentary on fashion's influence over everyday attire.

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Florida Man Games Coverage (21:45 - 24:10)

The discussion moves to the Florida Man Games, highlighting eccentric events like evading arrest obstacle courses and alligator-throwing competitions. The hosts revel in the absurdity, painting a vivid picture of the games' chaotic and humorous nature.

Notable Quote:

John Holmberg (22:08): "Throw a real alligator."

The segment underscores Florida's reputation for oddball news, with the hosts playfully critiquing the spectacle and safety of such events.

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Window Washing Accident in High Winds (25:28 - 26:40)

Brady reports on a harrowing incident where two window washers were trapped by high winds, leading to shattered windows and a dangerous predicament. The hosts express concern over the safety measures in place for such professions.

Notable Quote:

John Holmberg (25:03): "You've got to have a better plan than this. The high wind factor blowing into the building."

The conversation pivots to innovative ideas for safer window cleaning methods, blending serious concern with creative brainstorming.

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Gymnastics Parallel Bar Incident (26:58 - 28:16)

The hosts discuss a troubling gymnastics video where a gymnast's oversight leads to a near-accident on the parallel bars. The segment highlights the importance of safety and focus in sports, with the hosts offering both critique and support for athleticism.

Notable Quote:

John Holmberg (27:08): "This guy steps over. Oh, my God. What did you say?"

Their analysis balances humor with genuine concern, reflecting on the pressures athletes face during performances.

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Historic Karate Match: Joe Hess vs. Beth Bussey (28:27 - 34:35)

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to a retrospective discussion of a 1974 karate match between Joe Hess and Beth Bussey. The hosts dissect the fight, highlighting the gender dynamics and the physicality involved.

Notable Quote:

John Holmberg (29:13): "Do it. It's a hell of a kick, Joe. All that training paid off."

Holmberg voices discomfort over the violent nature of the match, questioning the ethics of pitting men against women in such combative settings. The conversation delves into societal changes since the 1970s, touching upon evolving perceptions of gender roles in sports.

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Dashcam Video Reports (35:26 - 37:01)

The hosts review various dashcam videos capturing unusual and often dangerous driving incidents. From near-miss collisions to bewildering traffic patterns, the segment highlights the chaos on the roads.

Notable Quote:

John Holmberg (36:58): "I'm looking at that. Okay, I see it now."

Their reactions range from amusement to concern, providing entertaining yet cautionary tales about driving behaviors.

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Closing Segments and Sponsor Plugs (38:35 - 40:37)

As the show wraps up, the hosts transition into humorous segments featuring bizarre advertisements and satirical takes on everyday scenarios. A standout moment includes a parody of "Breakfast of Champions," where cereal is inappropriately used, blending absurdity with sharp wit.

Notable Quote:

John Holmberg (39:00): "It's called man versus woman. Best bussy. And I mean Joe is not playing."

The episode concludes with reminders about the show's sponsor, All Pro Shade Concepts, seamlessly integrating promotional content with the show's trademark humor.

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Conclusion

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully balances humor, shock value, and insightful commentary. From celebrating National Cold Cuts Day to discussing disturbing news stories and bizarre fashion trends, John Holmberg and his co-hosts deliver a captivating and diverse array of topics. Their dynamic interactions and candid discussions ensure that listeners are thoroughly entertained while being kept informed about the oddities of daily life in Arizona and beyond.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• John Holmberg (02:15): "It's hard to win Human of the Year because so many good people have won it. And also John J. But I want it."
• John Holmberg (07:07): "If you like staying in the dark, then by all means listen to the Brady Report brought to you by All Pro Shade."
• John Holmberg (14:12): "If you're walking around in free glasses and it happened to you, you got something to give them back, you got no beef."
• John Holmberg (20:07): "You better work it, girl. That's what I'm saying. But the rest of them, let's tug them up to your chest."
• John Holmberg (25:03): "You've got to have a better plan than this. The high wind factor blowing into the building."
• John Holmberg (28:27): "Do it. It's a hell of a kick, Joe. All that training paid off."
• John Holmberg (36:58): "I'm looking at that. Okay, I see it now."

These quotes encapsulate the show's blend of humor, critique, and candid reflection, providing listeners with memorable moments that define the essence of Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com beautiful Monday. Just gorgeous. I'll tell you that. Spring training's in full effect. That crowd yesterday, I was packed up, packed full, says John. I'm glad you're here for us all, because I feel like I get gang raped every time I hear Toledo's high pitched, annoying nasal voice start to say the same thing you just said. Paula the Toledo hater. You know what? I'll try to keep you from being gang raped by Toledo's words. Those are just Joining us as Human of the Year. I've now been you know, it never ends for us Humans of the Year, Brett. You get an award and then I wish I knew. And then you won't. Probably ever. It's hard. It's hard to win it. So many good people have won it. And also John J. But I want it. And then I get an email right away saying it's the 35th anniversary of my gang rape and if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have made it. Helped her through. That said, I got one, says Dear Greatest Human of the Year of all time, I met with a girl on Saturday and she's slobbering all over my stuff and then she wanders on down to the back door. Well, thanks to you, greatest Human of the Year of all time, I've taken your advice. I make sure it's always clean down there. You go to the number two, you hop in the shower right after. She had no problem doing her thing back there. And thank you, greatest Human of the Year of all time. I thought of you while it happened and a smile rang from my face. All the life lessons you've sent us, Devin. That's right. You never know when Rogue or Surprise Analangus is coming your way. You better be prepared. Always have her lunch packed and ready and Clean. Always. Yesterday also at the baseball game, Brady, I saw to you because I walked by the island noodles. Nobody was there. Packed. Nope. And there was a giant vat of noodles in the middle just waiting to be served up. Not really. And the dude's got a big like hockey stick and he stirs it and he literally looks at us and he goes, eh. Like, no, no, thank you. No. This vat of unused noodles that you've got waiting for everybody. Lines around the block for everything else. Island noodles, nobody. It's not baseball stuff. This one says John. Speaking of gang rape, this happened to me last year. If we're sharing. My wife and I went drinking with four of her friends. The night was going great. We all came back to the house. One thing led to another and I, I didn't realize what was going to happen, but I found myself tied up to a chair. My wife and her girlfriends all took turns on me. Was traumatizing this gang rape. Not because it happened, because it hasn't happened since. What do I do? Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's a gang rape. Why didn't that become a game gang trend. And then this one, as we get into it, Mikey Mike says, I've never been raped physically, so I feel for your listener on their anniversary of their big rape. But I got a good idea of the confusion and terror that she probably went through because I've listened to a lot of Brady reports. Yeah, that's true. There's a. It's a, A lot of rape victims say it's similar. Trying to get Brady through a story. Anyway, it's time now for the Brady report. All the news that only Brady knows. And it's brought to you by. How about this? There it is. All pro shade concepts. You got that going on, Brady?

[Brady]

Yes, sir.

[John Holmberg]

That's at your house. You got those Arizona's best patio shades. We're in Arizona already getting hot. It's just now March and you got to have shade if you have an outdoor space. That's the new thing about real estate, by the way, as your indoor outdoor living, your outdoor stuff should be livable space now. So if you got shade out there, it's awesome. All Pro Shade concepts. 20 years in the valley, they got Brady's house all hooked up with awnings and roll down patio shades and things like that. They can do that for you as well. It creates 20 plus feet of shade. That's pretty awesome. And they block out all that stuff. You can have a TV on your back patio without worrying about the Glare All Pro Shade Concepts, thank you for sponsoring the Brady Report. Brady Report.

[Brady]

Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello, world.

[John Holmberg]

Hi.

[Brady]

Happy. Simplify your life Day National I want you to be Happy Day. And National Cold Cuts Day.

[Devin]

Of course.

[John Holmberg]

Well, sure. I want you to be happy. Here's some cold cuts. You just made. Brady Happy.

[Devin]

Favorite cold cut. Brady.

[Brady]

Work together.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

It's usually a ham.

[John Holmberg]

Like the whole ham. It's not a cold cut. Really.

[Brady]

Virginia ham. Sliced.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Not just off the bone, but as far as baloney.

[Brady]

I'm over the baloney thing. Don't do bologna.

[John Holmberg]

Baloney. A cold cut?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Is that what they do? I don't know what that means.

[Devin]

All the deli meat and stuff.

[John Holmberg]

Is that all it is? What about you? Salami. Of course. Yeah.

[Devin]

Is there anything else?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Dick Toledo]

Capicola.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. Get the gabagool. What isn't a prosciutt? I think that's my.

[Devin]

Probably my favorite.

[John Holmberg]

I think that's my favorite.

[Devin]

Supersout's good, too.

[John Holmberg]

So, prasada for all us whites. Suprasat. He says that's what it is. The hell is that?

[Devin]

It's like prosciutt.

[John Holmberg]

I know it's prosciutto, but I love it. Why can't you guys just finish? Why?

[Devin]

Why waste time?

[John Holmberg]

It's your own words.

[Devin]

Why waste time?

[John Holmberg]

It's your.

[Brady]

Just eat it.

[Dick Toledo]

It's also.

[Devin]

It's so good. You want to get to it.

[Dick Toledo]

Mozzarella, right?

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Dick Toledo]

A's.

[John Holmberg]

No. So percent. Wasting time, that stuff. I think I might go with that. Yeah. What's it called? For real?

[Devin]

Supersop.

[John Holmberg]

No, no, for, like, humans.

[Devin]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

What's it called. If I go to, like, a butcher who's not Italian. I don't know.

[Devin]

I don't go to those.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God. Right? Yes. S, O, P. Rasada. So prasada. That's the Italian word. But Italians are, like, too many letters. We overdid that one. Yeah.

[Devin]

Superset. Prosciutto.

[John Holmberg]

It's a superset. Yeah. Prosciutto. Prosciutto. You want some? It's just one letter. You're dumping.

[Brady]

Good submix.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. We've made it. All three of those. Brady's masturbating. I'm sorry. I didn't realize what we'd done there when we were talking about.

[Brady]

Give me a minute. So, Prasad, couple of basis fun facts. The first lady of the United States does not have to be the President's wife. Other women have held the title when the President was a widow. Widow. Widower. Or single. This happened at least 13 times.

[John Holmberg]

Big Mike counts as First Lady.

[Brady]

It's always been a female relative of the President, a sister, a niece, a daughter and even a daughter in law.

[John Holmberg]

It's not always been a female 100% across the board. Some people argue that one wasn't.

[Brady]

It's happened a lot more. It hasn't happened since in over 100 years. But the most recent was Margaret Wilson.

[Dick Toledo]

But it's happened a lot.

[Brady]

Woodrow Wilson's daughter. She was 28 at the time. It's happened 13 times.

[John Holmberg]

That's pretty good. By the way, with all procedure sponsoring the Brady Report, somebody said, Scott Haynes said, here's the thing we're going to say now for the report says Brady Report sponsored by All Pro Shade. If you like staying in the dark.

[Devin]

See where this is going.

[John Holmberg]

Then by all means listen to the Brady Report brought to you by All Pro Shade.

[Dick Toledo]

Keep shaded from facts.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, keep shaded. Stay in the dark. It's time for the Brady Report brought to you by.

[Brady]

According to NASA, the Las Vegas Strip is the brightest spot on earth from space.

[John Holmberg]

That's a pretty cool spot, the Luxor, isn't it? I mean it's all the lights, that whole thing. You watch that picture from space, you can Google it. That picture from space of Vegas is so cool because it's just a glowing bomb. It's not, you're not gonna see the sphere and like, like colors, but it's just this, it's beaming. Sphere's not, you know, it's not hurting throwing that beam up there, but so neat.

[Brady]

Samuel L. Jackson only has one Oscar nomination and well over 100 films. He was nominated for best supporting Actor for Pulp Fiction 1994. He lost to Martin Landau for Ed Wood.

[John Holmberg]

Both great. Boy, those were the days. Oscars of movies everyone had seen. And that's the thing they kept saying last night, evidently, like, oh, nobody wants to go to movie theaters anymore. Like, okay, the reason why is because if it's not a Marvel movie, it's a three hour art house picture that I'm not. I just don't want to sit there for three hours, make a good 97 minute movie, a funny one like the Hangover or Old School or whatever. And occasionally bring me a comedy that's actually funny and doesn't have to slap me in the head about the environment or some sort of a social cause.

[Dick Toledo]

Or see those movies at the Oscars though.

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't care about that. It'll make the other movies like you'd get you in the habit of being in the theater. So I used to go to the movies to watch a fun movie. And then like next week, oh, I hear this thing's pretty amazing. Then you. Every time you go, it's either Marvel or crazy sad art house picture. Holmberg's morning sickness. That has some message in it. I don't necessarily always want a message. Sometimes I want, you know, Metallica to be playing and Will Ferrell to be stuffing old men in the back of a van as we're running around. Just funny.

[Brady]

There's apparently a new workplace term kicking around called task masking, which is where employees spend a lot of time and effort just trying to look like they're working hard when reality they're doing hardly anything. It's coming from the Gen Z workers. There are videos on TikTok that offer advice for task masking. Like walking fast with a laptop stuffed under your armpit or typing really loud.

[John Holmberg]

Nope.

[Brady]

It sounds a little corny. But some managers say that it's a trend they're actually seeing trickle into their work for workforce. The other says the task masking is getting so out of hand, but they're going to be careful because you could end up getting quiet fired.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, all these things that are stupid are getting in the forefront now.

[Brady]

You might want to quiet quit first.

[John Holmberg]

Which used to be just be you'd stop showing up. Right. That'd just be called abandonment of duties. Quiet escort out of quietly escorted out. And with your box of stuff. By the way, said, didn't Brady used to have a problem with with shades? Oh, no, that was Shady McCoy. He thought all the shade. All the shades are the same. Hilarious. I didn't say it all.pro Shade Concepts.com. it is a great thing to get your backyard shaded up.

[Brady]

Added about a thousand feet of shade in my patio.

[John Holmberg]

A thousand feet of shade.

[Brady]

30 by 12.

[John Holmberg]

Are you all right?

[Brady]

I'm trying to figure out.

[Dick Toledo]

It's 360 square feet.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, 360.

[Brady]

But the shade was coming into the patio as well.

[Dick Toledo]

You've got a large backyard.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, a thousand square feet. Thousand.

[Dick Toledo]

That's the footprint of my house almost.

[John Holmberg]

Wow. It's a lot of shade. You don't have any sun at all. You plotted it out.

[Dick Toledo]

I was gonna say, is it like 17ft high?

[Brady]

Now it's 30 by 30. The shade.

[John Holmberg]

The shade is. Yeah, it's pretty.

[Brady]

There's this dude from Delaware County, Pennsylvania. He's in trouble. Brian Steiner has been charged with multiple counts of sexual assault, threat of rape, indecent assault, false imprisonment, Guy works at two different optical shops. Official says he lured customers back to the stores by offering free glasses in exchange for sexual acts.

[John Holmberg]

Really?

[Dick Toledo]

Was he both genders, just non discriminate?

[Brady]

Didn't say.

[Dick Toledo]

Come on back for some glasses.

[John Holmberg]

Eyeglasses.

[Brady]

Yeah. Further details have to be released.

[John Holmberg]

It's actually not a bad idea. Wait a minute. I could spend $2,000 on these readers that are really nice, but I have to have them blow you. And you'll just do it for me. I'm gonna take that punch.

[Dick Toledo]

Sunglasses. I just got out.

[John Holmberg]

I'm gonna take that punch.

[Brady]

Further details have yet to be released, including the number of victims. They're also saying, asking anyone else to come forward, that this has happened to you as well.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but if you're walking around in free glasses and it happened to you, you got something to give them back, you got no beef. Yeah, it's that or you give the glasses back. If you start bitching and this guy's got to go to jail, you got to give the glasses back.

[Dick Toledo]

Oh, you're saying they completed the transaction?

[John Holmberg]

Aren't you culpable in this if you completed the transaction? Yeah, if I blow you and you give me something, and then later I'm like, you made me do it, too, and I'm looking at you 2020 through my new glasses, kind of in on it. I've never been to a glasses store where a guy actually makes me feel like, oh, shit, I gotta get out of here. I'm gonna have to blow this guy. Just like that's something you choose to do.

[Devin]

Yeah, the Ray Bans aren't worth it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, if the deals. Look, those glass lens Ray Bans are pretty expensive, and they're really nice. You save yourself 400 bucks, that's your.

[Devin]

Other side coming out.

[John Holmberg]

Just saying.

[Devin]

Always looking for a bargain.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, there's that. Also homosexual. All right, I'll give you these, but you got to do something for me. What's that? I need you to give me an Old Fashioned back here in the glasses shop for free glasses. Okay. Justin Tucker Eyewear.

[Brady]

A customer at Citigroup was pleasantly surprised. He's getting a credit back from Citibank, and The credit was $81 trillion. It was supposed to be $280.

[Devin]

It's a hell of a credit.

[Brady]

Evidently it's happened before.

[Dick Toledo]

And his ATM limit was only a thousand.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. There were 10 near misses of 1 billion or more from Citi last year. That's down from 13 the year before. Last July, Citi was fined 136 million for insufficient progress in tracking these issues. 2020, it was fined 400 million for some risk and data failures.

[John Holmberg]

They're not getting it done, are they?

[Dick Toledo]

Are they paying these fines? It doesn't sound like they're paying the fines.

[Brady]

Yeah, they.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, by the way, last night at the Rah Rah, room price is a little high at the Rah Rah. I'm not gonna lie to you. And at the end of the night, I had one drink and my friend Jim had a Coke, right? This is at halftime. We had a couple drinks before the game. One drink. A couple drinks. We had a few drinks, but not there. Like, at that point, this bill was one drink and a Coke. End of the night, and she hands me my bill in the card, and it was $245. And I thought to myself, damn it, I can't say anything because maybe I did this. So I just start this. And the guy next to me goes, hey, that's my bill. And I go, thank God. I'm so jaded. I was so. Well, because I don't want to go, hatch, what are you drinking? It was just vodka soda, but I'm so used to the exorbitant prices that I thought maybe I owed some back money. Like, maybe they're getting me. They're hitting me up for something. Maybe there's a fee that. I don't know, like a membership. Like, you haven't been doing it right.

[Brady]

Wilson, you owe me 45 for the coke.

[John Holmberg]

Here's the other thing I found out. So Friday night, the girl behind the bar's name is Kiefer. Very nice. And there's another guy who looks like he's the bartender from Tapper, and he's back there and getting the Bills, right? And then she. We did one bill, you know, before the game. Then after halftime, we go back and know. Second bill comes and she goes, just a reminder. She looks at me and she goes, the gratuity's included. I'm like. You say. You don't say. Is that. How long has that been going on? The whole time. Oh. Oh, this has been. You guys have been doing very well off of me because I've been throwing a tip bomb at him, not realizing that they're already tacking on. I don't think I'm going to be as generous. Well, no, I'm going to do it, but I'm going to, like, it's. I'm going to wean off of it so it doesn't look like I'm Completely out. But I'm going to wean back.

[Brady]

They had to eventually tell you, right?

[John Holmberg]

Because you've been really, you know, overdoing it.

[Brady]

He's going to double tap and every time.

[John Holmberg]

You got to let me know that stuff.

[Brady]

Scientists in the UK have created a new banana that stays fresh for 12 hours after being peeled. And even after 24 hours, this new variety will have 30% less browning than a traditional banana. Everything else is the same, the same taste, smell, sweetness and texture, just with edited genes. They say it isn't a GMO because they didn't introduce any foreign genetic material. They made changes to the bananas existing genes by disabling the ones that create the enzyme that browns the bananas. They'll launch later this month in several countries, including the US and Canada, but not in England yet, where it was invented. Britain currently bans the sale of genetically edited plants and fruits.

[John Holmberg]

Huh.

[Devin]

So we don't need send it over there. They'll eat it.

[John Holmberg]

We're like Mikey, right? Yes. Oh, if. If the. If the sentence ends with they'll eat it.

[Devin]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You're talking about the United States. They'll eat it.

[Brady]

The latest fashion thing is plumbers crack the fashion. It was in Milan, Italy. The Milan Fashion week was going on and Diesel jeans debuted. Its latest collection features extremely low cut jeans. Ass crack is out for both men and women. They have a picture of the walkway.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. You know, at first blush, you're like, this is great. And then you realize that 96% of people are ugly as sin and you're gonna see the tops of their dirty, hairy asses everywhere.

[Brady]

Yeah, these are just the models.

[John Holmberg]

The models are gonna be great and they're gonna make you think this is. Look at that. I mean, that twink is perfect.

[Devin]

96%. I think you're a little light on that.

[John Holmberg]

You probably are. 98 and a half percent of people should not be showing any of the top of their ass. Look at the models here. Just absolute specimens of humanity and their asses are out. That guy looks a little like he's gonna die today. Holmberg's morning sickness. But then you start thinking about the average lady at Walmart walking around with some plumber's crack. And it's part of her plan. It's not a mistake. And the little patchy hair that's grown out of the top of that, that she missed.

[Devin]

You don't think anybody in this building's.

[Brady]

Gonna be wearing those intentionally?

[John Holmberg]

No, no. We've got one station that'll be loaded up on and Dustin Fine you look fantastic.

[Brady]

That hallway is a Runway.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it is. You better work it, girl. That's what I'm saying. But the rest of them, let's tug them up to your chest.

[Dick Toledo]

Now don't forget thrillers on that station now.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, God. Well, nobody would suspect that. Thrillers making a fashion movie. Just all the poor crippled kid's pants are fall. Should we tell him? No, he. He's going through enough.

[Brady]

Looks like this thing is growing. It's the second annual Florida Man Games. Huge success. Over the weekend, some events, the evading arrest obstacle course. You escape from handcuffs, throw an alligator through a drive through window. Then steal a catalytic converter.

[John Holmberg]

Throw a real alligator.

[Dick Toledo]

We're not just gonna say that against alligators.

[John Holmberg]

Tito would be all over that.

[Brady]

There's the weaponized pool noodle mud duel. You joust in a baby pool. The Florida sumo cage match with beer chug hurricane party prep. That one looks pretty cool. It's grocery aisle bra. Like medieval jousting, but in shopping carts.

[John Holmberg]

Are you in the cart?

[Brady]

No one falls. You just fight it out for hurricane supplies.

[John Holmberg]

We were. We were the inventors of that. Remember when we took Charlie and that Freddie and the late Freddy and we pushed them towards each other in carts?

[Dick Toledo]

Well, Freddy got away with from us. Well, no was going downhill.

[John Holmberg]

We started to have a lot more fun just pushing them around in the carts and then letting them ghost ride. And then he hit a curve and broke his pelvis. He's dead. Okay, yeah, he's dead now. He loved it. But there's something. Look, homeless people love carts. That's for sure. Oh, here's something I didn't like. Remember that story I told you Friday about the lady Thursday that put her I'm homeless, please feed me sign on my car?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Same intersection yesterday at 7th street and the I10 exit. There's a lady there, she's got her sign up like that's not the same one that touched my car. But behind her, homeless guy gets up off the ground and above his. He just starts waving a nine iron around. I'm like, oh boy. I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. Hey, somebody gave him a golf club.

[Dick Toledo]

Were you trapped in the turn lane?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I'm waiting for the light. Luckily the light turned right as I saw him. But he's whipping around like a lasso. He's got it in the air like, who was the that said I don't have any food or money, but I'm not using this. Callaway if you'd like. And he fires Over. And it was a. It was an iron. Yeah, he was doing the walk, but he's. His body's doing like some crazy shake dance because he'd lost his mind. But he was homeless.

[Brady]

Tiger Woods.

[John Holmberg]

He was seconds prior. He was seconds prior to me seeing him laying on the ground either asleep or. And he popped up, you know, ready for a, you know, a couple of shots from 100 in. I've never seen a homeless guy with a golf club before. It was horrifying.

[Brady]

Actually that would be the other way around. It would be eland. She was the one that swung.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. It didn't matter. It's neither Brady. It's a homeless guy. I expect Tiger woods and Elon to have clubs. If I'd say, oh, that's Elin Norger Gurgen and she's got a golf club, that makes sense. Last thing you'd expect to see is an unhoused, which somehow is better than homeless waving around his nine iron. I mean, at the very least, get that over to play it again sports and get a couple meals out of it. I got a 9 iron to sell ya. Okay. Okay.

[Dick Toledo]

Is there any of those left?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. There's gotta be a pawn shop. Somebody will take that off your hands. I get re. Grooved a new grip on it. It's probably a decent club.

[Devin]

Call Byron up.

[Brady]

He'll.

[Devin]

He'll take care of that.

[John Holmberg]

I wonder if you try to give a homeless guy like. Here, I'm giving you this nine iron. It's a pin seeker. No thanks. Oh, I want a tailor made.

[Brady]

Got a couple of radio videos. The first one happened in Columbus Circle, Manhattan. Two workers not secured with safety lines were rescued from their. They're dangling on one of those scaffoldings. The window washing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

The wind grabs a hold of the.

[John Holmberg]

Whole thing and smashes window, whipping the washers. Oh my God. There. Yeah. They're on a free ride. Oh my God. It's hitting the building.

[Brady]

High winds and shattering a window, sending.

[John Holmberg]

Shards of glass hundreds of feet below.

[Brady]

As two workers held on for life.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, what a cruddy gig. Wow.

[Devin]

Wow, wow, wow.

[Brady]

We won.

[John Holmberg]

I often think to myself, maybe I should look up. God forbid.

[Brady]

The two window washers had become trapped in high winds. Their scaffolding then dangling high above west 50.

[John Holmberg]

You've got to have a better plan than this. The high wind factor blowing into the building. There's glass pretty much raining all over the sidewalk. Yeah, doesn't.

[Brady]

It does.

[John Holmberg]

Isn't there a There's got to be somebody working on an invention that's better than the way we wash windows. There has to be like. Has to be a better way.

[Brady]

I thought I saw.

[John Holmberg]

We don't.

[Brady]

It runs down like a rail kind of along the building.

[John Holmberg]

But don't know, there's just maybe something buildings can have on them that each window has like a little squeegee on top, and it hits a button and just goes over. And it's expensive, but it can't be more expensive than that mess they got.

[Brady]

Next radio videos. A little gymnastics parallel bar.

[John Holmberg]

She's going over. She's on the parallel. It's a guy.

[Brady]

It's a dude.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Brady]

This guy steps over.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and there's a guy just gets it the way. And he does a full swing, a full rotation right into the. How does he not see that there's somebody already using the apparatus? How do you not. Dumb. It is dumb. But in gymnastics, like the one, it's one at a time for every event.

[Brady]

Maybe he thought the guy was releasing at that time.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. What did you say?

[Brady]

A couple of them?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Can I hear that again? Yeah.

[Brady]

Releasing the bar.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Dick Toledo]

You and Dale.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You have 8 inches of butt crack. Here's some hurdling.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. Oh, not. It's not the best hurdling kind of a. It's a girl in a thong running. She misses the first one. Not so good. Really. Misses the next one. Hits all of these, like. But she's got a. Her ass is out. So we'll watch.

[Dick Toledo]

That's why we watch.

[John Holmberg]

What is co is. Does this place still have Covid? It's an empty stadium watching women run.

[Devin]

Well, it's women's sports.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's true. Good point. I stand corrected, Brad. That's right. It's women's sports. Of course, there's no crowd.

[Brady]

Last.

[John Holmberg]

I'm sorry. What was I thinking? Yeah, there's women running. Must have been women only because nobody's even waiting around for the dudes to do that same thing.

[Brady]

The last one is full contact karate. Joe Hess versus Beth Bussey.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, wait, there's a guy.

[Brady]

1974.

[Dick Toledo]

The man says she's 22. Aired on Wide World of Sports on ABC.

[John Holmberg]

Best. Beth Bussey. Joe Hoss. He's a big. Oh. And then the dude throws a street kick into her head.

[Dick Toledo]

She's very, very.

[John Holmberg]

He's huge. He's six, five pounds, right. £100 is all she is. There's Joe Hess throws another kick to her head. Right to her stomach. Throws an elbow to the face. Is that a deliberate miss Buddy on his. No. Oh, he says a roundhouse swing into her body. He's a rat. What are we watching?

[Dick Toledo]

Both hands and a kick.

[John Holmberg]

What the people was this in the United States?

[Brady]

Yeah, 1974.

[John Holmberg]

Is Joe Hess in? Jailed for this square garden. Now she's. She. I'm fine. She said. Well, yeah, she's delirious.

[Brady]

Worry she gets back up. They hug it out.

[John Holmberg]

She better hug it out. There's the one that really put her away. Here's the one really spinning back kick.

[Dick Toledo]

There it is.

[John Holmberg]

There's the kick right to the side of the stomach. That's not her stomach. Right down. She is out when she went down. You get kicked in the chest and pass out.

[Brady]

You know what? You're a good sport. You're a good sport.

[John Holmberg]

Of course they're booing. Joe has who was really set upon by Beth at the outset? Is that Frank Gifford? Jesus Christ. People want to make America great again. What was that? Did I just watch a 6 foot 4 inch man roundhouse kick a woman in the head on television? And then everybody raised his hand. Great job, Joe. Nice kick. That lady didn't know it. You know I hit her in the chest. Yeah, you knocked her cold. But I've never seen that before. Kick somebody in the rib cage and their brain shuts off. Do it. It's a hell of a kick, Joe. All that training paid off. Your days of being harassed by women around £100 are over, that's for sure. You put on a show. Homberg's morning sickness.

[Brady]

She must have been saying the whole time, I can knock this guy out.

[John Holmberg]

I got this. Geez, I don't know if you should do this. Hey, Barbara, I think maybe you shouldn't get in there with him. He's big. It's not about size of the dog in the fight. You're gonna get. You're gonna get kicked in the chest. Your brain's gonna close. That's not even a thing. You'll see. Oh, my ribs. I'm going out. Why you kicked. Kicked by a man hard enough in the lower half of your rib cage, you're going going to sleep. That's just man woman stuff. Now that is disturbing. And yet there are people in 20, 25, 51 short years later that are saying we should let some men in the. In the ring with the ladies. I don't see a problem with that, that mayor or Maine governor. I have no problem with the man sitting in there beating up women in a ring. So long as he pretends he's a woman. Okay. I like the olden days. 1974, Manhattan. Didn't have to go into the ring saying he thinks he's a woman. It was just a man going in there to beat up a woman on television. And it was on Saturday afternoons on abc.

[Brady]

Wasn't that around the same year that the Billie Jean King Bobby race. I wonder if that went through a series of.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, a bunch of dudes kicking women's asses just to get back because Billie Jean King got up and he. And beat that old man at a tennis match. So. Oh, yeah. Frank Gifford, ABC Sports. We're going to watch a giant man kill a woman today on TV because of that goddamn Bobby Riggs debac.

[Brady]

This is the one that really scored right here.

[John Holmberg]

That's where it really got when he took all 244 pounds of them and just wheeled it around. And the inertia alone was gonna blow her in half. But oh, look, she's up, she's hugging him. She knows what's good for him. She'll be nice starting now. I bet she's gonna go home and make her husband a nice meal tonight. And you're gonna piss off any more men today. Can I watch that again, please? I've never seen this before. Celebrating.

[Brady]

I had no idea it existed.

[John Holmberg]

The wide world of sports. The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat going through your chest and knocking you out. Ladies, it's classic fights video. And it's called man versus woman. Best bussy. And I mean Joe is not playing. My favorite part is that Joe doesn't even wait for her to see what she's got. He throws the first kick. He's not messing around.

[Dick Toledo]

And it's the oriental world of self defense.

[John Holmberg]

Is that what it's called?

[Dick Toledo]

That's what it was called.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he's doing. Is that a deliberate missed buddy on his. No. Oh, I mean it's. It's a spinning back into her midsection and her body closes. I've never seen somebody get kicked in the hips and go to sleep.

[Dick Toledo]

Gasping for air. Right there.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, right in the baby maker, Frank. That's going to really destroy it.

[Brady]

Must have whipped her neck around. Is it then.

[Dick Toledo]

Is it the elbow? Let's see.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know what put you every bit of that gigant giant, man. Hitting that little leg and a broken rack.

[Devin]

Man.

[John Holmberg]

Her future kids have no chance. But I think even the one she's had might be retarded now that Was one hell of a kick from that man. That's at the outset. Wow. Oh, wow. All right. Our grandparents were on to something. Good fight. Good fight. I'll get out. I just want to thank God for giving me the strength. Knock that on ass.

[Brady]

You want a rematch, huh?

[John Holmberg]

No, I'm good.

[Dick Toledo]

Nice kick, Joe.

[John Holmberg]

Wanna go again, Beth? No. Two out of three.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's pretty awesome. All right, Brett. All right, go get him.

[Devin]

Start off kind of mild with this one.

[John Holmberg]

Wouldn't have been great if on ABC O.J. simpson was calling that match man versus woman. I mean, this is gonna be great. Got a big man here and a small blonde woman. Let's see what happens. What could go wrong? What could go wrong? I mean, I bet she gets up. Wow. You can kick them in the ribs and they go to sleep. That's new. Mark that down and see if I ever need that again.

[Brady]

That ought to do it.

[John Holmberg]

That ought to put it. She's getting up. They're resilient. You know, I'm not to say because I'm not a karate expert, but I'm sure if you just chopped her head off, this fight would be over. What, the waiters hopped in the ring? Let's take care of him too. All right. What do you got?

[Devin]

There's some dash cam video.

[John Holmberg]

We're at an intersection, a four way stop. The light is red going east and west. North and south is green. The motorcycle just went. Oh, there's a car turning. Oh, motorcycles. There's his buddy, T. Bones, the. The van. And he does.

[Brady]

Looks like Flagstaff.

[John Holmberg]

He does a few starfish somersaults in the air.

[Devin]

That he does.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, your bike. I don't know why you can do it. I watched a dude poorly split lanes the other day on the freeway. He was not good at it. Very bad.

[Devin]

Well, let's try this one then.

[John Holmberg]

Surveillance camera to cruddy nation. Oh, head on collision with a. One of those. A woman. Oh, that's a woman. Whoa. Wow. Whoa. That looked deliberate. Maybe she's Japanese and her husband has just passed away. Is that Gene Hackman's wife? I think that's what that guy was suggesting. Oh, my God. Yikes. All right, that's two motorcycle accidents. Call the law, tiger.

[Devin]

How about this one? Exactly. How about this one? Little dash cam video.

[John Holmberg]

Guys, is this. Hold on. Before you hit anything. Is this a car?

[Devin]

No, it's a truck.

[John Holmberg]

It looks like the top is made of wood and there's a curtain in the back. This looks like kids in high school built a Stage that's supposed to have a semi.

[Devin]

Well, look at one of those countries.

[John Holmberg]

It's. He's sitting in the driver's seat and there's a good five and a half feet above him.

[Brady]

Well, no, I think that's the road. I think.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I see both. Both optical illusions. Gotcha. Okay, so it's him in the road.

[Dick Toledo]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, I'm looking at that.

[Dick Toledo]

I thought it was a Y. T. So did I.

[John Holmberg]

All right, I see it now.

[Devin]

There you go with this one.

[John Holmberg]

All right, so you're seeing the road angle on one camera and the driver on the other. He's drifting off. He's sleeping. He's going off the road to the left. He's cross traffic off. He's in the grass.

[Brady]

He just woke up.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, and there's a naked lady in there sleeping in a. Whoa. She came right out of there. Who's this? National Geographic. The Drive. Why is there a naked tribeswoman in the back of his truck? This is all great today. Excellent work, boys. This guy just loses control. And every woman I ever saw in Nat Geo came floating out of the back cab of the worst truck ever built. There's not even a bed back there. She was just laying on whatever that thing's made of. Look like adobe. Oh, this guy's got snot hanging out of his nose. He's got low just not hanging out both nostrils. I gotta lose it. Sucked it out of his nostril. Is this our military?

[Devin]

No, thank God.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he showed it to us in his mouth. God. Herp.

[Devin]

And.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God.

[Brady]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Thick was a lot of thick snot. Oh, my God.

[Devin]

Let's end with this one.

[John Holmberg]

All right.

[Devin]

It's breakfast time. So, you know, this is breakfast of champions.

[John Holmberg]

Titled Breakfast of Champions. Champions. All right. And he's hit play. Here we go. Breakfast of Champions. Sounds. Got music. Just the title card. Breakfast of Champions. Oh, we've seen this one where they pour cereal in that girl's butt. Yeah. And then they put milk. You know what it's always good to revisit? She's put some Froot Loops in a girl's butt with some weird contraption. Now she's pouring in the 2%.

[Brady]

It might be whole.

[John Holmberg]

It could be whole.

[Brady]

Oh, no. It says vanilla almond milk.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, good.

[Devin]

Keeping it huffy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you can't have milk in your ass directly poured in and have it meal. And you know what's funny about that? Now Brady won't eat it. Healthy milk in a girl's butthole. And she's laughing. So it's bubbling up. Oh, there's the spoon. Here come the Fruit Loops. Straight out of the B hole. Where's the spoon? Are we allowed to do this? No, you shouldn't be. You should have been raised better. But it's too late for that. She's eating cereal out of a girl's butt, and Brady's thinking I might gross ass. Healthy milk. Oh, God. Fruit Loops. Almond milk. What a waste. All right, that's enough. Thanks, Bert.

[Devin]

We got another one.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you do? Oh, okay, go ahead. Oh, there's something going on. What was that? Oh, and then the guy bangs the milk hole. All right, stop. I see.

[Devin]

Get the milk out of there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's pulling me right now.

[Devin]

All right, all right.

[John Holmberg]

Are we done? Are we done, man? Are we done here? Yikes. You're done. You're done. Oh, God. You just crapped out of bed. She's crapping up.

[Brady]

Just get hit in the face.

[John Holmberg]

Her bottom just burped on a guy. Look at all the milk pouring out of her. When does this end? When does this end, Brett? I was done within a minute ago, and they're still using her butt for stuff. Oh, my God.

[Devin]

Okay, that's it.

[John Holmberg]

Every time I turned around, there was more coming out. How much milk was in there?

[Brady]

Is that the family size for a little bit?

[John Holmberg]

Again, a quick reminder, it was vanilla milk. Yuck. It's 8. 26. There you go, everybody. What a way to welcome the new sponsor, All Pro Shade Concerts. Right to the party. Allproshadeconcepts.com get that ball rolling. Have some shade installed at your house before summer comes. It makes everything hot. It's 98 KUPD. There goes that Brady Report. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98 kupt.