03-03-26 - Louisiana Mayor Busted For Sex w/16yo After She Door Dashes Plan B To The Party And We're Shocked You Can Amazon The Plan B Pill

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona

Episode: Louisiana Mayor Busted For Sex w/16yo After She Door Dashes Plan B To The Party
Air Date: March 3, 2026
Host & Crew: John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, Dick Toledo, and frequent interjections from Gabriel

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" turns its irreverent, no-holds-barred comedic lens on a bizarre news story out of Louisiana: a mayor busted for having sex with a 16-year-old and then DoorDashing Plan B to the party. The crew dives into the story’s messy details—including technological shock about how easily Plan B can be obtained via apps or Amazon—while riffing on generational differences, awkward parental moments, promiscuity, and reproductive rights. The tone is raucous, darkly funny, and unfiltered, with listener emails, personal stories, and satirical mockery of the culture around sex, contraception, and abortion.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Emails and Listener "Confessions" (01:03–07:34)

• The show opens with listener emails, riffing on awkward domestic moments and "classy" behavior, leading into wild, satirical fake confessions (many attributed to local celebrities as pranks).
• Notable for showcasing the show's irreverent, envelope-pushing style, with fake, purposefully over-the-top offensive emails.
• Quote:
  "You get in there and you maintain that on your own. Let that honey pot be smooth. Any fur on that? No, no. It’s like when you eat, you know, Mrs. Butterworth's in a barber shop. It's going to be sticky and hairy." – John Holmberg (03:26)
• Joking about old-school attitudes and waxing, generational changes, and wild analogies.

2. Louisiana Mayor, Plan B, and DoorDash Shock (07:51–16:29)

• Introduction of the main news story: A Louisiana mayor (Misty Roberts, mayor of DeRidder) allegedly caught having sex with her son's 16-year-old friend, then DoorDashing Plan B.
• Crew expresses amazement that you can DoorDash or Amazon Plan B, comparing it to limited access to allergy meds.
• Timestamps & Discussion:
  • [08:07–09:02]: Surface the legality and logistics of Plan B delivery.
    • “You can just have some random stranger grab some Plan B for you?” – John Holmberg
    • "She was sexually abusing her son's friend... and then DoorDashed Plan B." – Brady
  • [09:50–10:29]: Speculation on how the order happened; jokes about "Double Dashing" for food and Plan B.
  • Quote:
    "I got a Jersey Mike subbing like. Oh yeah... that whore might be pregnant, get me some Plan B." – John Holmberg (10:03)
• Satire around the ease and ethics of obtaining emergency contraception, with frequent jokes about cost, convenience, and societal expectations.

3. The Economics and Efficacy of Plan B, Online Reviews (10:39–23:10)

• Crew goes online to check Plan B prices and reviews, joking about generic vs. name brand, effectiveness, and "stocking up."
• Discussion of personal anecdotes: Toledo’s son needing help to get Plan B, leading to uncomfortable and humorous father-son dynamics.
• Quote:
  "It's $40 grand a semester. You can't spend $25 to kill it?" – John Holmberg (11:16)
• Making fun of user reviews (both positive and negative), including one-star reviews where it didn’t work, and black humor about "zombie babies" and "nuking your uterus."
• Memorable moment:
  Brett reads a one-star review: "Do not buy this pill... they're fake. Now I’m five weeks pregnant for trusting this pill." – Brett/Toledo (21:20)

4. Social and Cultural Satire – Reproductive Rights (14:21–27:00)

• The hosts riff on the changing landscape of reproductive health: the decline of traditional clinics, "abortion vans," joke business ideas (mobile Plan B dispensaries), and satirical marketing concepts (e.g., using the "Thriller" zombies as a Plan B mascot).
• Jokes about the best time ever to be "sort of a tramp," comparing modern convenience to generational struggles.
• Acknowledging differences in access by state laws, but surprised by the ubiquity of Plan B.
• Quote:
  "It's the greatest time to be alive. If you're kind of promiscuous, slutty, you just go over to the Walgreens and grab a pack of baby knockers, and it's over." – John Holmberg (24:15)

5. Awkward Father-Son Discussions and Generational Shifts (30:34–41:45)

• Deep dive into how older generations "got the money" for Plan B compared to kids today—Toledo’s kid comes to him for cash, which shocks the others.
• Whole crew jokes about what they would’ve done to avoid asking their dads for money for Plan B. (Selling plasma, illegal side jobs, anything but that talk.)
• Quote:
  "I would have knocked over a liquor store and got the money." – Brett (37:55) "It made Toledo hate him a little bit." – John Holmberg (38:36)
• Satirical discussion of absent emotional bonding in these moments, with Brady fruitlessly insisting it's "kind of sweet."
• Satirical scripts: "If you ever need to abort a baby, you come right here to Pops." – Gabriel (41:49)

6. Plan B "Price Shopping" and Effectiveness (42:00–47:21)

• Jokes about price sensitivity among listeners; rapid-fire price comparisons to food delivery.
• Distinctions between Plan B and abortion pills, and the specifics of timing (“The egg and sperm are dancing and you break it up”).
• Discussion: Plan B less effective for women over 165 lbs or with high BMI; speculation about "horse pills" for plus-size users.
• Quote:
  "Yes, they should put it in potato skins." – John Holmberg (37:13)

7. Pop Culture – Media, Bachelorette, and the "Bachelor Effect" (34:30–36:14)

• Transition into trends in dating, how women’s expectations are skewed by "The Bachelor" and social media.
• Commentary on unrealistic dating pools and the illusion that “everyone’s a catch.”

8. Outro and Metallica’s Legacy (46:25–50:29)

• Metallica’s “Master of Puppets” 40th anniversary.
• Contest giveaway for Metallica’s October shows at The Sphere in Las Vegas.
• Last wisecracks about “old school” Plan B solutions (“a staircase or a bottle of Jack”) and late night bar humor.
• Quote:
  "Brady's old enough to remember the original plan B, which was a staircase or a bottle of Jack." – John Holmberg (47:00)

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Memorable Quotes & Notable Moments

• "You get in there and you maintain that on your own. Let that honey pot be smooth. Any fur on that? No, no..." – John Holmberg (03:26)
• "You can just have some random stranger grab some Plan B for you?" – John Holmberg (08:16)
• "It's $40 grand a semester, you can't spend $25 to kill it?" – John Holmberg (11:16)
• "I would have knocked over a liquor store and got the money." – Brett (37:55)
• "If you ever need to abort a baby, you come right here to Pops. I'm here for you, son." – Gabriel (41:49)
• "It's the greatest time to be alive. If you're kind of promiscuous, slutty, you just go over to the Walgreens and grab a pack of baby knockers, and it's over." – John Holmberg (24:15)
• "Brady's old enough to remember the original plan B, which was a staircase or a bottle of Jack." – John Holmberg (47:00)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamps | |---------------------------------------------------------------|--------------| | Listener confessions and generational waxing jokes | 01:03–07:34 | | News: Louisiana mayor, sex with minor, Plan B DoorDashed | 07:51–16:29 | | Plan B economics/ease, Amazon, personal stories | 10:39–23:10 | | Satirical riff: mobile abortion clinics, marketing | 14:21–27:00 | | Generational/family fabric – Plan B father-son moments | 30:34–41:45 | | Effectiveness and BMI, price shopping riff | 42:00–47:21 | | Pop culture/dating, The Bachelor effect | 34:30–36:14 | | Metallica anniversary, closing bits | 46:25–50:29 |

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Tone & Style

• Tone: Irreverent, darkly comedic, openly crass and satirical, sometimes veering into intentionally offensive humor.
• Language: Candid, colloquial, shock-jock style, with playful ribbing and group banter. Household topics blend with sharp societal commentary.

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Final Thoughts

Listeners come away entertained and a bit shocked, with the full absurdity of modern sex, technology, and reproductive health laid bare by the crew’s blend of news, satire, and lived experience. The episode is a time capsule of current cultural contradictions and comedic edge—holding nothing sacred, and laughing through society’s weirdest news.

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Transcript

[Brady]

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[Christy Hayden]

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[Brady]

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[Dick Toledo]

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[Toledo]

Fisher Tools.comberg's Morning Sickness.

[John Holmberg]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Remember, Tuesday is Soylent Green day. That's exactly right. Enjoy your Soylent Green today, everyone. The emails are coming in a lot about walking in on the wife shaving. And boy, are you guys classy. Keeping it classy, Brady right there at [e-mail] if you want to email, it says, every time I walk in on my lady shaving her beef, I laugh like a bitch because it reminds me of a cat cleaning itself. Legs straight up in the air. Just weird position. And she always does that weird face up eyeball. Look at me. She knows that I think or what I'm thinking, so she immediately just looks at me and says, shut up. That's right, Sean. Showers on.

[Brady]

You don't wander in on like, hang on, let me do it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, God, no. That's like taking the brown part off the bun of an Arby's. It's just too. It's too meticulous. It's just says that Holmberg, why is Gary. This is a good question. Mike Unser has so why is Gary's wife doing maintenance at home in the shower? She should go out and get a Brazilian like all the other hot chicks in this city do. And they do all the maintenance. There Outside of the house. And her husband Gary never needs to see that. Well, Mike, I blame Gary for that. He's not footing the bill for a lady to go get proper maintenance at one of those stores that popped up in the last 20 years. That. That grooms your wife's vagina like zoo primates. Mike, you imagine. What was her name? The baboo. You imagine baboo ever going out of the house to get her bush waxed? It's not happening. Her grandparents never traveled a lot. Our grandma and grandpas never thought back

[Brett]

in my day,

[John Holmberg]

my papa Bill never once turned to his co workers at the steel mill up there in Indiana and said, shirley's got a nice shave. We never. It was. You were a weirdo for that.

[Brady]

I didn't take any chances, Babu. Papa chick.

[John Holmberg]

What does that mean?

[Brady]

They slept in twin beds, you know, he didn't want to take any brushing up against him. Waking him up at night like a

[John Holmberg]

brillo pad, burning his leg. Rug burn on your thigh from that thing.

[Brett]

Christopher DeWitt. What these rubes can't afford, they're broad. To get waxed.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's the thing. This is Gary's fault for his wife having to do that maintenance all alone. You get in there and you maintain that on your own. Let that honey pot be smooth. Any fur on that? No, no. It's like when you eat, you know, Mrs. Butterworth's in a barber shop. It's going to be sticky and hairy. You don't want that smooth, clean. But that's Gary's fault. Pay for that, Gary put, you know, start a jar where you put your change in there. And every month she gets to go in and have that thing taken care of. David Vasquez. So when your girl's shaving her B hole, that only means one thing. It's business time. And that b hole's in play. Thanks, David. Nothing but class for Vasquez.

[Brady]

That maintenance done.

[John Holmberg]

When I see stuff like that from our listener, David Vasquez, because I think, what a. What a lucky lady. Bailey says you guys are vaginas. Guy's wife shaving is gross. That's it. He must not really like his wife because when you actually love somebody, there's nothing they could do that turns you off. One time my ex was getting in the shower and she tried to fart to make me laugh and accidentally went too far with it all over the floor. Oh. Oh, come on, Cordell.

[Brett]

And Cordell.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she was so embarrassed, but I just laughed. It's the funniest thing that we've ever had happen to us. I felt even closer to her that day. Just made me love her more. Well, good. I'm good.

[Brady]

Glad that worked out.

[John Holmberg]

Bailey. One of our Bailey.

[Brett]

Video Bailey.

[John Holmberg]

Video Bailey. He's just.

[Brady]

That makes sense now.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's disgusting. These emails, it won't stop coming in. Says a Hill and bird. I like that people are using this forum of KUPD to let everyone say something free without consequences. So I just wanted to say I think all mentally ill R words should be eliminated at birth. He actually wrote the thing R word. That's what I think. Get rid of all of them. My wife doesn't believe that because she's an angel. And if people say, well, who's going to do the dirty work and kill all of these R words? Well, let me volunteer myself. I will kill every R word with my bare hands. And if you don't like it, contact my bosses at channel 12. My name is Troy Hayden and I'm like, what the. So he met. But why did you do that? And he goes, I did it because I hate that he c blocked Brady's hot ass zoo girlfriend trying to get Troy canceled. You don't do that. I'll stand up for my buddy Troy. This guy. I don't know why this guy. People are just picking their favorites now. It says there's two things I hate in this world, Holmberg. Racists. I find that to be intolerable. Just hate them and then all the blacks.

[Toledo]

What?

[John Holmberg]

I don't care who knows it. My name is Bob Costas. It's a proud day and I'm a proud boy.

[Brady]

Look what you've started.

[John Holmberg]

This one is another one that people just chose. Weird ones. I don't see color, Holmberg, and I never will. I look around, I see two things when I look at humanity. A bunch of great humans and then dirty Mexicans. I take it up with my office. I'm Mark Kelly, astronaut congressman. I went to space to get as far away from those burrito eating baby factories as possible. Stole that line from you, John. Mark Kelly is the name again. Here's one I really liked. Hey, homebird, don't you just love rape? I think it should be legal. And I don't care who thinks I'm wrong. Merry Christmas, homo. F word. Beth from Kez.

[Brady]

Oh, man.

[John Holmberg]

My God, these people and their true views. And then the originator came back, said, hey, Holmberg, take your blue square and shove it up your Jew ass.

[Brett]

Wow.

[John Holmberg]

Isn't Africa's female genital mutilation Thing. Awesome. You know where some wild shaman cuts off a girl's lady button. I think it's great and I don't care who knows it. My name is Deandre Ayton, center for the Los Angeles Lakers. As heard on kupd. Well, you can keep these messages coming as we are a safe space. That's what they call us. A safe space to get your thoughts out.

[Brady]

Should we put the circle up in our window in the studio so people

[John Holmberg]

are safe that you can come in here.

[Brady]

They can just come and shout it

[John Holmberg]

and you can say you're anybody you the Troy Hayden one threw me and that was just a bit like somehow or another protect you as a bro.

[Brady]

Amazing.

[John Holmberg]

Very sweet. I think to be that kind to each other other I also enjoy that. Well yesterday I saw this thing as a mayor in Louisiana. You might have it at one of your.

[Brady]

I do.

[John Holmberg]

Oh yeah.

[Brady]

We can go over it.

[John Holmberg]

So the headline says Louisiana mayor ordered plan B off door. And I stopped right there. You can plan B. You can get it on door dash.

[Brett]

Ask Ducey's kid. Double scoop.

[John Holmberg]

You can just have some random stranger grab some plan B for you. Yes.

[Brady]

And the doordash driver testified he delivered emergency contraception to her.

[John Holmberg]

She was sexually abusing her son's friend.

[Brady]

Yeah, she's the mayor of Deridder, Louisiana.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Brady]

Misty Roberts. And she's on trial for third degree rape. Allegedly at a drunken party boned a 16 year old boy at the house.

[John Holmberg]

It was her son's buddy. Yeah. And she's a mayor of a city in Louis, Louisiana. And then. But then she needed plan B. She was worried that the 16 year old knocked her up. I guess her.

[Brady]

Her own kids walked in.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, that's. It's all awful but I'm still lost in the idea that I can't get like allergy medicine. But I can send somebody to pick up some plan B for me. A stranger can go grab some pedialyte thing of pretzel M&M's and Plan B and there's no like there's nothing there. I didn't realize plan B was an off the over the counter shelf drug now. I mean I'm all for it. That's great. Why did even have abortion clinics?

[Brady]

They followed the text. She text him, said let him know I'm on birth control. Then she shared a screenshot. The friend group were the one friend urged her to get the plan B from. Of course. But you're right. You know I didn't know.

[John Holmberg]

I just doordashed It. How lazy are you?

[Brady]

I wonder if she ordered food and then says you need anything else. You know, what do they call that?

[John Holmberg]

Double dash. Double dash and plan B. You can double dash. I got a Jersey mike subbing like. Oh yeah.

[Brady]

Anything else?

[John Holmberg]

That whore might be pregnant. Get me some plan B. I didn't know you could just buy plan B like that.

[Brady]

I didn't either. Is it over the counter?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. Well then why to just have some handy. Evidently doordash can grab it for you.

[Brady]

Yeah, I that.

[John Holmberg]

We are doordashing sodas to the front door right now. And it's. And they say it will be here at 7:23. I ordered it at 6:30. That's just Coke.

[Brady]

See if you can double dash and play.

[Brett]

We can Amazon it right now.

[John Holmberg]

Handy. Just in case old gummoe over here might shoot a load. I didn't know you could get plan B like that.

[Brett]

Get it on Amazon.

[John Holmberg]

But why don't you can.

[Dick Toledo]

It's right here.

[Brady]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

Why are we having any sort of unwanted pregnancies?

[Brady]

Boy, it's not cheap. Well wait a minute.

[Brett]

It's a lot cheaper in 18 years.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Brady, did you just throw it? That's too much money for an unwanted.

[Brady]

I want to know what the difference is. My way the same thing or.

[John Holmberg]

Well, I think the plan B you're looking at right there might be one pill. Single. It says single.

[Brady]

Yeah, it says one count. But then the my way for 625.

[John Holmberg]

All right, quit with that.

[Brett]

Maybe it's the great value version.

[John Holmberg]

I mean it's 40 grand a semester. You can't spend 25 bucks to kill it.

[Brett]

Come on.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus. What's the matter with you?

[Brett]

Even 100 bucks a pill.

[Brady]

Precious Angel.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta launch that thing into a full on boil.

[Brett]

Brady.

[Brady]

Yahoo.

[Brett]

Relax over there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Turn that egg into like poach that thing as fast as possible. But like our doordash for coke is taking an hour Isn't plan B time sensitive?

[Toledo]

I think it's two pills. Also one table.

[John Holmberg]

But I think we go. Yeah, Plan B.

[Brady]

So you got to buy two of those.

[Brett]

I'm getting the name brand when it comes to this.

[John Holmberg]

I'm not.

[Brett]

I'm not.

[Brady]

What? I'm saying my way looks a little.

[Brett]

Then we also got my Choice.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. I'm 999. I'm making her take all three brands. I'm spending a couple hundred bucks here.

[Brett]

Here's the six pack.

[John Holmberg]

Look at this. Oh no.

[Brett]

She's.

[John Holmberg]

She's going to be eating those like sprees. Those are going down like Skittle.

[Toledo]

I will say that's cheaper than my experience with it.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you had a full on, like.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't have plan B. You had a lady accuse you.

[Toledo]

Not me personally. My. My offspring.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he had to plan B abroad.

[Toledo]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

All right, all right. How did you get involved?

[Dick Toledo]

You got to buy it because he

[Toledo]

was freaking the F out.

[John Holmberg]

Of course he was.

[Toledo]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

But he wasn't supposed to bring dad into that conversation.

[Toledo]

Well, she.

[Dick Toledo]

He.

[Toledo]

This was when he didn't have any

[John Holmberg]

money and she still had sex with him. What kind of hog did he almost knock up?

[Toledo]

No, this was. This was like, his girlfriend at the time.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she's worse. She's. Yeah, she's committed to a broke dick.

[Toledo]

I think she charged him 150 bucks. And seeing that it's 20 bucks, he got raised.

[John Holmberg]

She hit him, he got raked. She paid half.

[Toledo]

Yeah, he paid half.

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brett]

She probably bought the Amazon basic version here too. You can get the reason he came

[John Holmberg]

to me because I had to give

[Dick Toledo]

him the effing money.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Dad, can I get 75? I would have lied to you.

[Brett]

Money well spent, right?

[Brady]

That's a tough call.

[John Holmberg]

I would never tell my dad. I need a plan B.

[Brady]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

And plus 150 bucks means she got, like, a gross of them. So she plans on just allegedly popping those, like aspirin or Adderall and under vipers.

[Toledo]

I think she pocketed the 75 bucks.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah. I don't understand why we have abortion clinics if this is just something you can buy on Amazon. Just keep them handy.

[Toledo]

Absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

And then if you have sex with somebody you don't want to be with or you're like. Like, man, that was a. I'm gonna eat these just in case.

[Brady]

That's why the clinics are like this on the line. You know, online stuff's killing us.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we gotta amp up our abortion ads. These plan B bastards are wrecking our crush.

[Dick Toledo]

We're taking a bath.

[John Holmberg]

We're getting slaughtered out there by these pills. You guys.

[Brett]

Moynihan's gonna be down there whipping the whip on them.

[John Holmberg]

Come on, Go get those pine bees. Vacuum is evidently really uncomfortable for these ladies. And they found out they get a pill or just knock it out in a day.

[Toledo]

9.99.

[John Holmberg]

Look at the horse.

[Brady]

Have figured out the new salesperson will come to Toledo. Like, hey, would you endorse?

[John Holmberg]

You know what they should do?

[Brady]

There you go. Toledo.

[Toledo]

But I'm bringing my son to.

[John Holmberg]

If we're the Marketing think tank for the abortion clinic. Here's my suggestion. These pills are knocking you out of the yard here. This is a tough. This is like what podcasting did to radio because nobody was thinking. So they're like, the pills are knocking us out. Anybody have any suggestions? And I'd raise my hand and be like, you know the Humane Society has those mobile ones. Oh, yeah, you just drive around in a van and offer freebies to bad neighborhoods. The ladies just go in there.

[Toledo]

Plan B. Spay and neuter.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, it's not. You can't call it plan B. Those are the bastards we're trying to make you forget.

[Brady]

That's true.

[John Holmberg]

We'll go in there and start rooting around for a little bit.

[Brady]

A couple of recliners in there, goop.

[John Holmberg]

Make it drink some liquid plumber and then get it out.

[Brady]

Thanks for coming.

[Toledo]

What is it? We're using Sprite.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you get a nice. You get a nice graham cracker. It's probably Sierra Mist because they're getting killed by the plan B there to cut off the brand names. Now you're drinking.

[Toledo]

A Starry Slice is back.

[Brady]

It is.

[John Holmberg]

Well, that's good news for ladies who don't want their children because you're gonna get a free can of that at the end. How about that? I didn't know you could get plan B through doordash. And that story is terrible because it's a. A Louisiana mare at a teenage party

[Brady]

and the kids walked in on.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, people. Well, I mean, it was a party and mom was there, and then mom wasn't there, and they're like, where's Brian and mom? And they went in and there they were. And then she has the gall to go, I think you squirted. I better go take care of this. And she doordashed it. Lazy, lazy. That's all that is.

[Brady]

I'm on birth control.

[Toledo]

Just in case, like, I don't want to leave the party. Let's.

[Brett]

You're trusting a 16 year old to pull.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Dick Toledo]

Come on.

[Brett]

You're an idiot.

[John Holmberg]

Brett, drop the mic. What?

[Brady]

He said she wasn't pulling. She. She was like, full steam ahead. I'm on birth control. She was a little dead, but, like, just in case, I'm gonna doordash double dash the plan B.

[John Holmberg]

Double dash. That was a thing of coke zeros and ironically, some little Debbie cre.

[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

Hey, it's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness. Talking to you right now about the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. You can be a LASIK candidate. They'll check that out. Lens replacement is unbelievable. If you got a cataract like I had. But I had something crazy happen with a torn retina came out of nowhere. No warning signs. That torn retina things. No joke. And that's why Dr. Jay Schwartz is so great. You get that complimentary consultation, see how your eyes are doing. Otherwise they'll take care of whatever you need. Protect that vision. Start at teamidoc.com or call them 480-483-Eyes Schwartz Laser Eye center. The official eye center for your Diamondbacks and sons. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Gabriel]

Little Debbie cream.

[Brett]

Get it.

[Gabriel]

Get it, Taylin?

[John Holmberg]

I do. It's hilarious. Mrs. Jefferson.

[Gabriel]

See, I got cream.

[John Holmberg]

I get it. No, you don't have to. You know, don't beat it. It's. It's out there. We get it.

[Gabriel]

And maybe some tissues.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's dumb. Don't. Too far. So yeah, you're definitely gonna do that. Seven o' clock word is newstead. We're going down the whole of them. Seven o' clock word Newstead as in Jason Newsted, former member of Metallica. There for a little bit.

[Brett]

So grateful the prices remain the same for years. Hasn't failed me yet. What a whore. This broad.

[John Holmberg]

That's a five star Review somebody leaves. Reviews of plan B hasn't failed me yet. What does that mean? One of the kids. Hold on. One of the kids is immune to

[Gabriel]

plan B. I know a friend who took it and the kid fought it off.

[Toledo]

Well, that's what you gotta look for,

[Brady]

the one star review. Brett.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, find the one. There's one there. Yeah. And you know what the one star review is just a picture I gotta sign. It's just a picture of a lady holding a baby with one arm.

[Gabriel]

Thalidomide did a better job than this stuff.

[John Holmberg]

That's a reference.

[Brett]

Amazon version.

[John Holmberg]

What a mess. I didn't know that was a thing.

[Toledo]

Amazon has its vanity.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brett]

Amazon choice.

[John Holmberg]

So John, you're not too far off. A few years ago some non profit was going around neutering crackheads saying they'd pay him $100. The mobile spay and neuter and then the mobile abortion clinics. That's the only way to keep up with this fast paced life of abortion that these plan B people are doing. That's not really abortion. That's just leaving the butter in the pan a little too much.

[Toledo]

That's way too detailed of a review.

[John Holmberg]

That's a five star review and it's about seven paragraphs.

[Brett]

Well, she's telling you to ignore the one star reviews.

[John Holmberg]

Where are they? Find me one. One star.

[Brett]

I gotta sign in. I don't know.

[Gabriel]

This has worked out great. That baby fried up real quick. I'm gonna leave a review. You can really feel them and hear the popping like bacon.

[Brett]

Oh, great price. So you can go to the store and spend 35 to $50 in name brand pill. Or you can just buy this Amazon basic brand for $20 or less.

[Gabriel]

I remember taking the coupons.

[Brett]

They usually have coupons.

[Gabriel]

My stomach started to cramp and it hurt and my friend grabbed my hand and said that means it's working.

[John Holmberg]

That's weird.

[Brett]

Oh, here's a one star extreme cramping.

[John Holmberg]

All right. You're killing something inside. You worked.

[Brett]

So I'd give it five stars, but I've been spotting and having a half period since I took it about 10ish days ago.

[Brady]

Right.

[Brett]

I've taken almost every brand. What a whore. Not proud. And this is. This has caused me the worst. Cramping and spotting. Just be careful.

[John Holmberg]

You nuked your uterus. Why would you bleed a little bit?

[Brady]

The other ones are working. And this one, maybe they're all. She's cramping on all of them.

[John Holmberg]

You know what she could do? Knock it off.

[Brady]

Well, that's why? You know, it's expensive for some of these ladies every weekend.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you figure at 46 bucks a pop, you get three freebies, right? So you have to have to match the price of an abortion 30 times that. You need these pills to hit the $460 mark.

[Brady]

Here you go.

[John Holmberg]

That's insanity.

[Toledo]

One star review from Stephanie, who can't spell, so I'll try to get through that.

[John Holmberg]

Wow, she must be hot. Yeah.

[Toledo]

Do not buy this pill. Does not work. When I first got it, I took it right away. And when I touched my tongue, it started melting. The Plan B.

[Dick Toledo]

Don't do that.

[Toledo]

They're fake. Now I'm five weeks pregnant for trusting this pill.

[Brett]

What's her last name?

[Toledo]

Here's another one star review from Shay. I had unprotected sex two days before my ovulation day and took this Plan B a day before.

[Dick Toledo]

So she was planning.

[John Holmberg]

She was. Yeah.

[Toledo]

I'm not sure how this works or if I took it in a safe zone, but this past week has been horrible.

[Brady]

Cramping.

[Toledo]

Cramping.

[Gabriel]

It was a Thursday before I ovulated and I planned on taking great loads that weekend. So I pre took some pills. Next thing you know, my ovaries fell out. This thing sucks.

[Toledo]

Taking two pregnancies, tests. Pregnancies, tests so far and it's negative. I do not recommend this. My body doesn't feel right at all. And again, John, why doesn't her body

[Dick Toledo]

feel right at all?

[Toledo]

You just got a homicide.

[John Holmberg]

You've got an O.J. murder scene in your gut. That's why call it what it is. You are roto rootering the innards just in case you're mixing up a whole bunch of dude juice with a pill that crushes what dude juice does. There's a fight. You got a war going on down there. This guy says, hey, how about the marketing plan to have Thriller as your plan B spokesman? That's a great idea.

[Brett]

His first endorsement. Wow, that'd be awesome.

[John Holmberg]

Let's get a bunch of zombies like Thriller wandering around in a room going, plan B, just in case. It's a great tattoo. Plan B, just in case. Brains.

[Toledo]

Would you rather three days of cramping.

[John Holmberg]

Three days of cramping and some pain or one of these forever Guadalupe squares. Friday is Thrillers a legitimate birth date. Full term birthday, they call it. That's it would have been a Thriller. Girl, his mom's coming in. He's gonna come in and talk about that water slide that pumps babies out every five months. Thrills like you Want my mom to come in? I'm like, yeah, sure. What'd she want to talk about? Dumping two out early.

[Toledo]

Someone's not gonna be able to survive this.

[John Holmberg]

He's not gonna like that one at all.

[Toledo]

He's not gonna like it at all.

[Brady]

I've met her already. She's very nice.

[John Holmberg]

She's very sweet.

[Brady]

We'll be fine.

[John Holmberg]

Bullfrog Spas. I think Brady standing out there, mom

[Brady]

and dad towered over me.

[Brett]

Well, that's shocking.

[Brady]

Just barely. Barely.

[John Holmberg]

Barely a foot. Yeah. They're tall people. Yeah, man. They didn't share that with Thriller either.

[Dick Toledo]

He might be tall.

[John Holmberg]

He might have been, had he gone full term. Anyway, that story grabbed me because I had no idea that you could. Plan B. That stuff. Who knew? I had no idea. That's the. It's the greatest time to be alive. If you're kind of promiscuous, slutty, you just go over to the Walgreens and grab a pack of baby knockers, and it's over.

[Brady]

Let me leave the most obvious trail of how getting caught on this for the mayor.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the door dash thing was dumb.

[Brett]

Yeah, the mayor.

[John Holmberg]

All right, buddy. We need plan B. Anyway. It's just so strange to me that the. And I get it, ladies. You should have access to that stuff. But I thought we were all mad at, like, the Roe v. Wade thing and women and I think that's what they're upset about, is that a lot of states will take that off the shelves if this. If they get any more, like, conservative about it. But it seems pretty easy if you can doordash, like, everyone.

[Brady]

If it's Amazon. But you're right. I guess certain states could say it's not available.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They said our reproductive rights, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, yeah, you're right. But you can doordash plan B. So I think you're overreacting. The Supreme Court's gonna. I'm like, don't worry about it, because Jeff over at Walgreens will grab that for you. He's on this. It's just easy. It's got a flowery name. You take that coming with the same

[Brady]

thing with the red doordash bag and pick it up on the counter.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you mean this? That keeps it fresh.

[Brady]

I don't know. Like, the doordash picks it up at Walgreens. I guess they'd have to.

[John Holmberg]

They wouldn't do that. That's a. That's a bag to keep food hot, Brady.

[Brady]

Yeah, but you're the doordash guy.

[John Holmberg]

You don't. You just keep it in the. I order my groceries from doordash. They just walk it up in the. In the Safeway bags. And I'm putting it in their hot bag of delicious treats that you're. That. That's probably like one of those Pavlovian things for you. You see that Jordach box Pizza guys have those. And yeah, they don't put it in that. It doesn't need to be a temperature. You can scorch your ovaries with that stuff at any climate. I think Thriller's mom is actually coming in to defend her one star review of Plan B. She was the first Plan B. And they're like, oh, it's not. It's not strong enough that. That thing came out. Poor Corey. As Plan B. It is the best time ever to be sort of a tramp, isn't it?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Condoms and Plan B. You can double down on that.

[Brady]

Go down to Mexico, get some penicillin. Clear your own.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. So broad tent. Most guys are. Most broads are keeping this stuff handy. Like Tic tacs. Yeah. They're like breath mints now. Oh, it says Plan B is not an abortion pill. It prevents pregnancy. Oh, I know that. But it's like you gotta take.

[Brett]

I think it's like the day after you can knock it out like. But if you're already a couple weeks

[John Holmberg]

or whatever, you're done.

[Brady]

Done work.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The egg and the sperm are dancing and you break it up. Yeah. You're like. Mind if I cut in? You're like John Lithgow. And was that movie called that Footloose? Ain't no dancing down there. He's gonna come in there and bust that up. Says have that mobile thing called Lost Our Home Fetus Relocation Service. Yeah, that's. We can do that. Hilarious. I had no idea. What a weird thing.

[Brady]

So if you're. You pregame with the Plan B is the most effective way. Yeah, but how long? I guess tailgate the. The tablet. How long does that prevent it?

[John Holmberg]

What do you mean?

[Brady]

Like, Is it work? 24 hours? Is it.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you've like how long?

[Brady]

Yeah, you take the tablet.

[John Holmberg]

No, I think you take it after. You can take it before and scorch it up.

[Brady]

Before is for sure pretty much the most effective way.

[John Holmberg]

Sounds like it is what it used to be called the day after pill. And you used to have to get

[Brady]

a prescription, but you got to go. Yeah, for sure.

[John Holmberg]

The day after. Yeah. You got like. You got some time, but not a ton.

[Brett]

We got some price Shoppers, you can get it for 20 bucks at Costco.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, there you go. Leave it to our listeners to figure that out. Great. We've been talking about it so much, all of our algorithms are going to be heavy Plan B sales because Brady had to get all cheap about the cost.

[Brett]

I know.

[John Holmberg]

I'm telling you right now. There's. That's a. There. That's a reasonable fee. That 46 bucks.

[Brett]

Oh, I'd pay 146.

[John Holmberg]

Go way above.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

To not have a child. That's. That's thousands and thousands of dollars.

[Brett]

And he's price shopping.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Gabriel]

46 bucks. I'd rather have a baby.

[John Holmberg]

You're out of your mind.

[Brady]

Yeah, no need to look at that. I'd have 14, 15 kids.

[John Holmberg]

It's 46 bucks for Marty. What do we got for a Jersey Mike sub to be delivered to your house? Gets into that range and I still do that, you can promise me a childless womb. That is a bargain, if you ask me. It says I ordered Plan B off of Amazon just to keep it in stock. Both of them are the same. One of them is generic and half price. And they're both. Both of them just have one pill. It's amazing. There's a Plan B pill inside every pregnancy test stick. Is that. Come on. That. You break it open.

[Brady]

It's a two for one.

[John Holmberg]

It's like a fortune cookie that if it comes up. Well. Yeah. By the time you're taking a pregnancy test, Plan B ain't working.

[Brady]

Yeah, I think that would be too.

[John Holmberg]

A few weeks down the road. You have to take like 12 or 13 of them. Got an OD on that stuff? I'm not a doctor. Don't take my advice.

[Brady]

But I got the three in one. Plan B pregnancy test and Covid.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Isn't ironic that Doordash. Probably where it's needed the most. Tempe delivers those little plan Bs and those little baby strollers. That's a little weird. There's some irony.

[Brady]

You said there might be the new company Hordesh.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. A little Hordesh player. A little baby stroller from Doordash.

[Brady]

Totes adorbs.

[John Holmberg]

They are cute. Oh, they give them a little eye.

[Brady]

That's what we see. Trolling down Higley every now.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they're out in Gilbert.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Do you ever just. You probably go nuts thinking, what's in there?

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That's like a Christmas tree.

[Brady]

What's in there?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, what is it? Let's kill it. Pretty big game hunts those mobile doordash delivery Boxes.

[Gabriel]

Oh man. Just parading itself around like some sort of food. I gotta get in there.

[Brady]

Give me the code.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, just smash it with a sledge. Brady treats those like. Like if an ATM started to walk around.

[Brett]

Gabriel says when you check out a Walgreens, it's right in front next to the candy. You can buy some skittles and plan B at the same time. I haven't seen it.

[John Holmberg]

Me neither. How about that?

[Brett]

And Cameron wants us to high five. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

High five. I can spend a child's semester at Pepperdine in Vegas and never once feel like I've screwed anybody over.

[Brett]

Or pay $46 or.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, for. For. But I. I'll throw. I'll throw a Pepperdine. A whole year just slot machines and drinking and never once am I like, oh, there's my kids college education. I'm like, it's my kids college education and it's mine. This is. There's no plan B in a pee stick. And it's tried to spread that rumor a few years ago anyway, so. Don't people know a quick trip down the stairs is plan B? Plan C is this pill.

[Brett]

I'm a delivery driver and I've actually had to go and buy six Plan Bs for one customer. It's a very common thing that people will buy off doordash.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, she just stocked. Busy weekend says that John, you're thinking old school. 18 years my ass. Those things never leave. Those mfers are here for life. That's true. That's a good point. The bar's higher. I have a friend whose 28 year old daughter is moving back in and she's been gone for like a year and a half. And the reason isn't financial. She just doesn't like was easier.

[Brett]

Of course it was.

[John Holmberg]

Of course it was. Yeah, somebody else paying for. Everything's always easier here. Come on down to the Ranch House Grill. Comfort food is your next meal.

[Ranch House Grill Announcer]

Pork chili verde, chicken fried steak.

[John Holmberg]

Ranch House knows you'll think it's great.

[Ranch House Grill Announcer]

Are you ready for the best breakfast in Phoenix? Ranch House Grill has been voted best breakfast four years in a row. We're famous for our chicken fried steak, pork chili verde and large portions. Located in the heart of Arcadia. Join us for breakfast or lunch seven days a week, 6am to 2pm We're a family restaurant with a small town atmosphere serving southwestern comfort food for 18 years. Come on down to the Ranch House Grill for the best breakfast in Phoenix at 56th street and Thomas Road.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holberg here from the morning Sickness. And I am thrilled to shill away from my friends at Turf Monsters. Turf Monsters doesn't just do turf either. They design everything about how you want to live. Sports, golf, pets, entertainment, pergolas, pool stuff, whatever you want. And the quality is incredible. It looks real. That grass, it drains perfectly. There's basically no maintenance, no mud, no grass. A backyard you actually enjoy. If you thought about upgrading your outdoor space, start right [e-mail] make your backyard the best room in the house. Check it out. Turf Monsters AZ.com Holmberg's morning sickness. She's a. An attractive girl, but she is way too picky. She's one of those delusional Instagram girls that thinks she's a 10, and then therefore, she deserves the 10. And she also wants a guy who makes, like, seven to $10 million a year. Like, she's.

[Brady]

That's reasonable.

[John Holmberg]

She shrunk her dating pool down to, like, the less than 1% of society.

[Brett]

Lindsay Lohan.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, she's good, but she's not that good. And, you know, she's all right, but she's like, this is. And she wants somebody to pay for her life, but she can't figure out how come she can't get a man. And I'm like, you gotta broaden. No. And you know what did it to her? It was Instagram a little bit, but it also was that show the Bachelor. That's. That. That dreamy nature of things. When the. When there's like 30. Well, it's the Bachelorette. When there's 30 dudes on there, they never have a doughy guy. So you're like, well, that's the pool that we're drawing from. And so she watched that as a little girl and thought, this is how it's. This is what you're supposed to get when you are looking for a mate. And they're all in great shape, corded like that. You get your choice of 30 of the hottest guys in the world, and you whittle it down to one, and you never actually have to be with, you know, me or Brad or Brady. We would never be on there. Like, you'd be the first one out. Women say it's not about looks, but the Bachelorette proves that wrong, because you never see Brady wandering through there.

[Gabriel]

How you doing, Susie?

[John Holmberg]

What's that? That's one of the contestants. No, it's not. He ain't getting anywhere near a rose.

[Brady]

I was on. I got cut the first day, right? What? No, they did.

[John Holmberg]

They had immediately just said let's meet the bachelors. And you got out of the car and she goes, I want a rose ceremony now.

[Brady]

Anyone want to hand out any roses?

[John Holmberg]

You just have one. One person not give a rose to. Yeah, I've made my decision. This show doesn't need to be an hour. There's. Let's just go him. He's not getting a rose.

[Gabriel]

What I do?

[John Holmberg]

Well, first off, put the pizza down and wipe your mouth. Second, you're out.

[Gabriel]

Ah, you don't know a good time if it kicked you in the nuts.

[John Holmberg]

This one says, hey, John, women always get the bailout. Plan B. Abortion, child support, alimony. They get rewarded for all their bad choices and decisions. Signed, Scott. Man, Scott's going through one.

[Brady]

Oh, man.

[Brett]

Oh, here we go.

[John Holmberg]

Not wrong. But what's this?

[Brett]

Plan B is most effective for individuals weighing under 165 or a BMI under 30.

[John Holmberg]

Well, yeah, so. Because the ones above.

[Brett]

Yeah. They're not.

[John Holmberg]

They're not getting laid.

[Brett]

Well, there's those two o', clockers, sure. But those two AMS at the bar.

[John Holmberg]

But you don't. They never find you. You don't tell them your name or show them where you live. If you're banging one of those whales. Yeah, of course. Plan B. Hit it to the marketing. You know, they're like, who's our audience? It's like women who get laid. All right, that's everyone under 165.

[Brady]

Can't they provide like a bigger horse pill?

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brett]

Body weight and it costs you $90.

[Brady]

Brady may result lower drug conc in the body.

[John Holmberg]

They should put it in potato skins.

[Brady]

Yeah, there's one. What's that say? For the effectiveness for above 195.

[John Holmberg]

It requires a prescription.

[Brady]

So they do have.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brady]

The big plus size pills.

[John Holmberg]

Well, sure. Like Rico Blaze probably has those horse pills laying on.

[Brady]

Comes in a cookie does.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, he's got to manufacture that in a lab. Comes with a fork and a knife. It's so big. Anyway, man, Amazon is. That is a great time to be alive if you're younger, isn't it? Portolito's kid, even just a few years ago, had to go to his dad to buy plan B. I would. That's. That would have never happened. I would have never ever. Dan would have never known.

[Brett]

I would have knocked over a liquor store and got the money.

[John Holmberg]

I would have sold plasma. I would have blood. I'd have done semen. I'd have given up every bodily fluid they'll pay you for. And I'd have done it in A day just to make sure we got that covered. And if it took me a couple weeks to do it, I'd be getting up to that. Man, I can. Dan would have never known, ever. Can you imagine? That's.

[Brady]

That's. You know, I mean, that's a tough call, but impressive in a way that it's like, hey, I feel. I know my dad would.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's not impressive, Brady. There's nothing about that. Ask Toledo if it was like, a bond.

[Brady]

Not impressive.

[John Holmberg]

It's a bonding moment.

[Brady]

But it is a bonding.

[John Holmberg]

What? It is not a bonding moment. It made Toledo hate him a little bit. A little bit. There's nothing about that. That grew closer. You think that Toledo and Alex grew closer that day.

[Toledo]

You think we had a hug?

[John Holmberg]

That wasn't a beautiful family moment, but

[Brady]

aren't you glad he came to you rather than not doing anything about it?

[Toledo]

Well, he wasn't gonna not do anything about it. He just needed the money.

[John Holmberg]

He was scared.

[Brady]

He knew where he could get it the quickest.

[Toledo]

Yeah, like, Brett said, he was gonna make a choice of robbing a Circle

[Dick Toledo]

K in order to make it not happen.

[John Holmberg]

I mean, Toledo probably almost plan beat him right on the spot.

[Brady]

So. Yeah, so if dad turns me down, I'm robbing.

[John Holmberg]

Dad's not turning you down, but he might kick your ass. And there isn't going to be a moment when he's like, we're best friends now.

[Brett]

It was Toledo or a grinder.

[John Holmberg]

It was one or the other. What's up? Before telling Dan, I'd have been. I'd have been like one of those magic seals blowing horns. You're out there honking.

[Brady]

Gulp.

[John Holmberg]

10 bucks at a time. I'd have gotten to my price that day.

[Toledo]

It wasn't a repelling moment. Sure, but it wasn't a bonding moment.

[John Holmberg]

No, but a few more of those, and the next thing, I was like, that's enough of you. Brady sees it as, like, the end of the Waltons.

[Gabriel]

Come here, you, you scallywag.

[Brady]

Like you said, I wouldn't have got. I mean, I would have found, you know, other ways. Whether it's a friend or bar the

[John Holmberg]

money or blowing dudes. Yeah, anything. I'd have become the world's worst gigolo. Dollar deals, the. The home bird 500. Anything but that, Dan would have never known. Or is it Brady's house?

[Gabriel]

What do you open? Come on, you little scallywag. What does your daddy always say?

[John Holmberg]

Dunk inside them. That's right.

[Brady]

Don't inside them like your dad handed You a condom at prom.

[John Holmberg]

He did not hand me a condiment. Prom?

[Brady]

No, it's a plan B or whatever.

[John Holmberg]

In ninth grade, my dad burst in the bathroom while I was combing my locks. Ah. That was the first noise he made. Where you going?

[Gabriel]

Fiesta Mall.

[John Holmberg]

With who? Carla and John and others girls there. Do you need me to buy you rubbers? Oh, get out. Okay, fine. And that was the talk. There was nothing about that that we ever mentioned again. It wasn't a son. I'm proud of you, that you're growing into a nice young man, but you have to be responsible. Wasn't that he was hunched up like a. Like a movie villain.

[Toledo]

Well, Alex had resources because he had condoms. He never came to me for those. And I don't think he ever bought them. I don't know if he got them in school or wherever he got them, but he had them and had a problem with him. Like, well, you need a higher quality falling off.

[John Holmberg]

You have the Toledo problem. Yep. Those things were just flying around willy nilly.

[Brady]

Don't fit.

[Gabriel]

Get a rubber band.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't matter.

[Gabriel]

Do you need some glue?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Gabriel]

It's kind of cute on you. It looks like a klansman's hat.

[John Holmberg]

Here's 75 bucks just waving around.

[Gabriel]

It's plenty of room in there.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, my dad would have never known that. Ever.

[Gabriel]

If you ever need to abort a baby, you come right here to Pops. I'm here for you, son.

[Brady]

Here's plan B. Yeah, I got plan B.

[Gabriel]

Pills for your mom. So you don't have any more.

[Toledo]

Hey, dad, that medical plan that I'm

[Gabriel]

covered under, Let me tell you something.

[Toledo]

Can I get the details on that?

[Gabriel]

One of the worst things that ever happened to me was having you. So if you want to abort kids, I'm with you. Because I know if I had plan B, you wouldn't be here asking me this. Capiche? You're the best dad in the world. And you're the best little guy ever that survived.

[Brady]

Well, you got to be happy, too, that he came to you and, you know, for the money rather than going, well, we're going to do the right thing and we're going to get married.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Toledo]

Yeah. No, that wasn't an option.

[John Holmberg]

No, you're not. Dad would have told you.

[Brett]

No, you're not.

[John Holmberg]

And that would have been the thing my dad would have done. No, you're not.

[Toledo]

No, you're not.

[John Holmberg]

Where's this slut?

[Gabriel]

She's not a slut.

[John Holmberg]

She's the love of my life. Yeah, she's a slut. You knocked up a slut. And you're a too. You don't understand dad.

[Brett]

He'd have been happy you weren't gay.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, my dad.

[Brett]

That would about two seconds and then

[John Holmberg]

I've been like, all right for half a second. My dad's brain would have been a one man band. Wait a minute. Hold on. I can't be excited about this.

[Toledo]

What happened a year later?

[Brady]

Heartbreak.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. That girl left your heartbreak. But thank God. But him coming to you. Not the beautiful. You know, NBC's very special.

[Brady]

He was having a catch.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Tonight on a very special Brady Blossom.

[Toledo]

Your catches are weird, Bogan.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

For those fatties at the bar at 2am Crush up some plan B and put it in their ranch. Dressing for their wings.

[John Holmberg]

Brady tried to make it beautiful.

[Gabriel]

I remember on an episode of Love Sidney once, Tony Randall said,

[Brady]

was that a show?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, newstead is the word for seven o'. Clock. Newstead. It was a. It was a movie. First everybody lost their mind and then they made it a show. A newstead. That's the thing right there. Love Sydney, starring Tony Randall. NBC. I think it was on there Wednesday nights. Yeah.

[Brady]

Anyone else I know that was in it? Who is Sydney?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Tony Randall. And then a little girl. It was always. The TV shows always started with like a kid just wandering around with dead parents. And then somebody took him in. Same with Punky Brewster. Like just showed up at that guy's house. The Webster's parents were killed. Different strokes. Parents were killed. The mom on Silver Spoons was dead.

[Brett]

Brady Bunch.

[John Holmberg]

Brady Bunch. Never mentioned, but assumed dead.

[Brady]

Fiery car crash.

[John Holmberg]

Horrible into each other. And that's how Carol and Mike met. It's true. Terrible, Terrible. Single car accident that another guy bashed into the T bone. It was terrible. The details of episode one are horrifying. Yeah. Meryl says make the Plan B slogan swallow this since you didn't swallow the first time. Oh, man. So there's Plan B and there's Plan bbw. Yeah, that's right. For the bigger lady. Huge bill. Anyway, Bert, what do you got on the big musical board of treats over there? Oh, you don't have your papers.

[Brett]

Give me the book when you're done.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, really? All right. I'll tell you right now that it's a great deal too. The Wake up songs brought to you by our friends at Modern Resolution. Windows and doors. 30% off all windows and Doors. And that's a great deal right there. You get 30% off of everything and then you're like, hey, by the way, John Holmberg. You just say my name and then bells go off and they give you $500. An extra 500 bucks right off just for saying Holmberg sent you. And that's off the total contract price. It's awesome. Deal. Go to modernresolution.com if you need a door like I did. Mine just broke. Or windows or anything like that, they come out there. They're great dudes, too. A family operation, local support, local business. And that's what we're doing right there. All you got to do is go to moder.modernresolution.com Modern Resolution. Doors and windows. Windows and doors. Brett.

[Brett]

All right, on the list, Bark of the Moon. For the moon that you got up early to see Eminem. My name is for N word, Lady Sabaton.

[John Holmberg]

For those of you just tuning in. Ms. Now had a lady whose name was. I'm not saying it. N, E, G, A, R. And they said it a lot. She's an expert on war, Middle east stuff. I shouldn't have that name anymore. You got to change that to Susan or something.

[Brett]

Sabaton. On the list.

[Brady]

Megadeth.

[Brett]

Holy Wars, Wage War, Pantera, Revolution. Name. Slayer, Godsmack, Moon Baby, Mud Vein, Manson, Armageddon, Suicidal War, Inside My Head, shepherd of Fire from Avenged. And. Well, today, since we're doing all the Metallica thing. Forty years ago today, Master Puppets was released.

[John Holmberg]

Is that so?

[Brett]

Somebody said battery. We've had Leopard Messiah, disposable here.

[John Holmberg]

And so Holy spirit. That was 1986.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Wow. Sir.

[John Holmberg]

It was. Yeah. March of 86. I would have never put that together. Yeah. People all in on this. Brady's old enough to remember the original plan B, which was a staircase or a bottle of Jack. It's too abrupt for Columbus. Is that a thing, you guys? Probably. There are a lot of stairs in Columbus. A lot of. Well, the two. Two things that Columbus is loaded with is Christians and Catholics and staircases. And trust me, they were used for that quite a bit. Probably the dad's like, well, we have to do the right thing.

[Brett]

How to use that exorcist staircase.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. The one the joker came down. Yeah.

[Brett]

Not taking any chances.

[John Holmberg]

No. The rocky staircase where I actually go to the flat, part, roller to the next.

[Brady]

What you're taught growing up is never buy a ranch style house.

[John Holmberg]

You never get a ranch style house if you've got kids. Just in case you need to take your pipe out of your mouth and go out. Down you go. Look at her tumbling. That ought to learner.

[Brady]

And you won't find a first floor apartment either.

[John Holmberg]

There's always a garage. Yeah, it's the garage. You're getting pushed them out the window Clapton style is what you're saying. Anyway, let's do a little battery then. All right. Metallica. Forty years since the master of puppets.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then Ride the Lightning was the one before that.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. So that's older. Christ. 86. It came out today. And people knew at this point that Metallica was quite a thing. I am so unbelievably curious how one is going to look at Sphere because the video on MTV was visually like altered the way things. That's one of the most unbelievable cinematic music videos ever. One is life changing for it's a story that you probably never watched it. One the video Brady is like. It is. It's Saving Private Ryan of music. It's incredible. The imagery is amazing. In. In Sphere, if they just ran the video inside, can they do that?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Incredible. Oh, I can't wait. And you can go. We'll get you up there to Vegas to see that thing. Newstead is the seven o' clock word. You got a little while longer with that one. That. It's pretty awesome. Metallica up in Vegas. This is an outstanding thing we're doing for you guys. We'll get you up there. Tickets to not only the October 1st kickoff, but also October 3rd. You get that together as well. You get two shows. The first two shows and yesterday all those tickets went on sale for Gone Fan club. They're all gone. And also added six shows to the residency. So they didn't. They had that in their back pocket. Said if the tickets go fast through the presale, we gotta add more for the regular folks. And they did it. I had a friend named Bill who was in line. He texted me, goes, I'm in line for the Sphere for Metallica. And he said, I'm going to get those tickets. Like that's awesome. He was number 177,187 in line.

[Brett]

Oh man.

[John Holmberg]

Needless to say, Bill didn't get tickets. But you can. You get on the app, you get on our website Nadia kupd.com you put it in each word corresponding with the time. We give you 7am Word is Newstead. It's battery. It's 98 KUPD. Happy anniversary.

[Brady]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fee.

[John Holmberg]

I've heard enough of this.

[Dick Toledo]

Well, you've been to Monument Valley, you've done the Grand Canyon and you've even road tripped to and hiked in Sedona. But have you truly seen and done Arizona? If you haven't fished Arizona, it's Dick Toledo from Holmberg's morning Sickness. And you should know our great state offers unlimited opportunities to fish. Ponds, reservoirs, streams, rivers and lakes. It's all here. But whether you're a beginner or a pro, a fishing license is your passport to all the great, great spots for you to cast a line in Arizona. So get out and discover a new way to see Arizona's nature and buy a fishing license today at AZGFD.gov well, we're already into February, and most of us are clinging to those resolutions. And for men, it's even harder to commit to lifestyle changes. If you're in your 40s or older, it's Nick Delito for Game Day Men's Health. What Game Day Men's Health does is show you where you stand and gives you a game plan to tackle those changes. It all starts by scheduling a free consultation, and for most guys, that's quicker and easier than getting lab work scheduled through your own physician. You'll for yourself by going to gamedaymenshealth.com and scheduling that free consultation at one of their 12 Valley locations. Head to gamedaymenshealth.

[Toledo]

Com.