03-03-26 - This Morning's Blood Moon Had John Realizing How Dumb He Is - Watching War And Seeing Names That Are Dicey Commenting On It - Emailer Says He Walked In On His Wife Shaving Her Privates And Was Shocked

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 03-03-26

Episode Title: This Morning’s Blood Moon Had John Realizing How Dumb He Is – Watching War And Seeing Names That Are Dicey Commenting On It – Emailer Says He Walked In On His Wife Shaving Her Privates And Was Shocked
Date: March 3, 2026
Host: John Holmberg
Regulars: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo

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Episode Overview

In this episode, John Holmberg and the crew reflect on an early morning blood moon eclipse, using the spectacle as a springboard for self-deprecating humor about their intellectual capabilities. They riff on the news coverage of ongoing global conflict, media personalities with “dicey” names that challenge broadcast standards, and respond hilariously to a listener’s awkward email about discovering his wife’s private shaving routine. The show blends irreverence, classic banter, and sharp social commentary, all while owning up to things they “don’t get”—from science to relationship etiquette.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Blood Moon & Realizations of “Being Dumb”

[02:19 – 09:54]

• John enthusiastically set an early alarm to view the rare blood moon, only to find it underwhelming and realize he doesn’t quite grasp the science (“If I understood what was happening, it would be great. People think I’m smart because I can say smart stuff… But I’m not at all. And I’m barely” [09:17]).
• Brady admits to not knowing about the eclipse until he saw it incidentally, treating it as just another moon (“Oh, it must be one of those blood…” [02:33]).
• They joke about how news meteorologists dramatize celestial events (“…the news talks you into like Oh. And then for some reason, whenever the news starts talking about stuff like this… it seems like there’s been an awful lot of eclipses” [03:25]).
• John shares a failed attempt to understand algebra using ChatGPT, comparing his brain’s strength in pop trivia to its utter weakness in math (“I asked ChatGPT the other day… might as well have been speaking French. It starts in with the B’s and the A’s and the overs and the—I don’t know what this is.” [07:19]).

Notable Quote:

“I’m not dumb, but I’m only smart in areas that are stupid. TV theme songs. Who starred in what when…When it comes to actual things that make this dumb little…planet and its moon and all that—I don’t understand.” (John, [06:15])

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2. Media, War as “TV,” and Name Mishaps

[12:38 – 29:37]

• Discussion shifts to the pervasiveness of “War” on television, treating news coverage as though it’s a serialized drama (“I’m loving so much War, and it’s on all the channels…It’s just something crazy going on with this war”—[12:41]).
• John focuses on a guest expert’s name displayed on-air, which phonetically resembles a racial slur, and riffs on the discomfort it brings to broadcasters and viewers (“…her name’s just on the tv and I’m dying. Like, this is the group of people that would get so mad…But they found a person who got named that.” [15:18]).
• The crew parodies the rote, self-important bumpers local and national stations use for war coverage (“KTAR News covering the war, and I ran like no one else…Las Cruces News, covering the war like nobody else” [24:10–24:34]).
• They comment on cable news correspondents’ commitment to appearances—even in war zones (“Aaron Burnett did pack makeup…she just landed. No makeup. She looked, like, just awful. So she…brought her own.” [22:23]).

Notable Quotes:

“I just realized… in every radio station in America… that same meeting happened: ‘Las Cruces News, covering the war like nobody else.’” (John, [24:10])
“Her name’s just on the tv and I’m dying. Like, this is the group of people that would get so mad…But they found a person who got named that.” (John, [15:18])

Memorable Moments:

• Extended, slapstick riff on how news hosts handle introducing an expert whose name is “N E G A R” ([15:18–17:49]).
• John imagines news programs like TV dramas, complete with attractive reporters who “give [him] the eyes” while delivering grim wartime updates ([25:10–26:17]).

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3. Listener Email: Walking in on Wife’s Private Grooming

[31:15 – 36:18]

• Listener “Gary” writes in, disturbed after walking in on his wife shaving her privates in the shower, and wonders if he should “get a divorce.”
• The crew commiserates about and riffs on the inherent “grossness” of certain hygiene tasks, advocating for bathroom privacy.
• John mocks the violation of privacy and argues that couples shouldn’t share bathrooms, bringing insight and cynical humor about marriage norms.
• They swap horror stories, including Brady’s recounting of a friend’s husband who “waffle-stomped” feces down the shower drain, which John declares as grounds for divorce.

Notable Quotes:

“Maintenance of the body needs to be a private act because it’s very rarely pretty.” (John, [32:50])
“You got lied to by Jan Kelly. That’s her story.” (John, [36:18])

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4. Media & Pop Culture Observations

News Personalities & War Coverage

• Comparing attractive reporters to models regardless of the severity of the news (“She’s telling me the worst things I’ve ever heard in my life about, like, a school got bombing… and I’m just hard as a rock…” [25:10]).
• Parody on the endless war coverage and format repetition: “The writers recap everything. It’s like watching Love Is Blind. Every time you come back from a commercial, they tell you what happened in the last segment…” ([29:37]).

Cable and Local News

• Mocking of local NPR-style stations for both their “great photo” of the blood moon and government funding (“They’re the WNBA of radio…” [38:29]).

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | Description and Highlights | |------------|-------------------------------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:19–09:54| Blood Moon & “I’m Dumb” Realizations| John struggles with the phenomenon, jokes about intellect | | 12:38–19:49| “War” as TV & Names on Air | Satirical discussion on war reporting and the “N E G A R” guest | | 22:23–26:38| Female Correspondents’ Appearances | Observations on anchor appearances amid war | | 29:37–31:15| TV Drama as News, Recaps | News as serialized entertainment, “catching up” on global conflict | | 31:15–36:18| Listener’s Email – Shower Shock | Banter and stories about bathroom privacy and hygiene nightmares |

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “I’m not dumb, but I’m only smart in areas that are stupid… When it comes to actual things that make this dumb little planet and its moon and all that—I don’t understand.”
  [06:15, John]

• “Maintenance of the body needs to be a private act because it’s very rarely pretty.”
  [32:50, John]

• “She’s telling me the worst things I’ve ever heard in my life… and I’m just hard as a rock...she is a spectacular specimen of delivery of news.”
  [25:10, John, about Fox’s Aishah Hasnie]

• “Her name’s just on the tv and I’m dying. Like, this is the group of people that would get so mad…But they found a person who got named that.”
  [15:18, John, on the guest expert's name]

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Tone & Style

• Irreverent, self-deprecating, sarcastic, and quick-witted.
• Frequent use of banter and personal anecdotes.
• Tackles edgy/awkward topics with humor and mock outrage.

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For New Listeners

If you missed the episode:

• Most of the show is tongue-in-cheek, poking fun at everything from world events to their own lack of scientific knowledge and awkward marital moments.
• Even serious topics like war are filtered through their satirical lens, treating TV news as “just another binge-worthy show.”
• Listener emails are catalysts for absurd humor, relationship advice, and a chance for the guys to riff on the realities (and horrors) of adulthood and marriage.

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Suggested Starting Points

• Blood moon & “I’m Dumb” introspection: [02:19–09:54]
• “N E G A R” name segment & Media Satire: [15:17–19:49]
• Listener Email – Bathroom Boundaries: [31:15–36:18]

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In short:
This episode is quintessential “Morning Sickness”—brash, brutally honest, and hilarious, blending topical events with the hosts’ comic frustration at the world and themselves.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[B]

Fisher Tools.comberg's Morning Sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome. Welcome to Tuesday. It's two days in a row. It's 5:45. My name is John. There's Brady. This is so annoying to everybody to listen our jackassery just come on here laughing like we're having that much fun. I just threw a shock. I just threw a dreadful. I threw a shock bomb just half a second before I said good morning. You guys. Literally pushing the mics up after the boom.

[A]

Two of the best days in a row.

[B]

Strong. I got Brady. I got Brady good yesterday. Got breath this morning. Felt pretty proud of both of them, really. Kind of the same angle, too. It's more just. It's lazy comedy is what it is. I'm going to the same. Well, a lot, but. Brilliant. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you very much. You didn't see it and that was fun. You did not that conversation. What I said at the end of it, it did not belong there, really, to be honest.

[A]

See Brett's face just light up.

[B]

Oh, it's. Yeah, it was. It was light when it was. Yeah, yeah. No, I, I puppeteered Brett there right before. And then that made you go. So I. I was. I'm just dropping the mic. I've started the day beautifully. We're done.

[A]

I got.

[B]

I got you guys. We'll get the rest of this. Yeah, we're having silly. Oh, babe, just. Careful. It must be that full moon. I say blood. That's the blood eclipse. And man, oh, man, look, I got up early for it. I set the alarm.

[A]

I didn't even know. I just got up and looked at it in like. Oh, I'm like, I brush it off pretty. Oh, it must be one of those blood.

[B]

It is the full moon. Eclipse. Full eclipse.

[A]

Which won't happen again.

[B]

Two years and I checked it out and I'm like, the rarity of it all. This is the 80th one since I've been alive. So if you missed it, you'll get. There'll be another one in a minute. Don't worry about it.

[A]

I'm one for. No, I've seen three or four.

[B]

I've seen a bunch. Yeah, it's probably about half gone now. It's pretty neat. Yeah, well, that's where the moon is, Brady.

[A]

Well, no, you know, like, sometimes in the morning it's very low as.

[B]

Yes. Here. True. That's right. And this one was not. It was very far away. Yeah. Sometimes you feel like you can touch it, George Bailey.

[A]

It looked like more of a red cheddar cheese today.

[B]

Okay, calm down. It's a. Yeah, it was. But I looked at it. I got up early because, you know, the news talks you into like. Oh. And then for some reason, whenever the news starts talking about stuff like this, I always am like, it seems like there's been an awful lot of eclipses. And everybody says, oh, it's rare. You only get this every. And I'm like, all right. Well, I feel like I've seen like.

[A]

I think we've had three this year.

[B]

But it makes you think of your mortality and is this the last one I'll ever. I don't know why, but like last night when Sean McLaughlin was talking about it, man, he was great back in the 90s when he did those Lilith fairs. But, yeah, he was. He was doing the weather and telling me about how, oh, you gotta see this. And I'm like, I set your alarm and I did it. I set my alarm a little early at like 3:40. And I'm on this. I hate coffee more than ever now that I'm drinking it. But I drink a full pot every morning just to. Just to try to make my body like I'm trying to manipulate coffee into my life. It is awful. And I got a hot cup of Joe and I Choked that down and watched the moon disappear for a few minutes. And I'm like, this sucks. Like, it's. Why do I do this? And I've done it several times. My friend Craig and I, years ago, he was at the house, and it was a 10th anniversary of a friend of ours passing away, and we had a gathering at the house, and Craig stuck around at the end because there was an eclipse. And it was like 12:30, 1 o', clock, and it's like 4 o' clock's eclipse. I'm like, I'll stay up if you stay up. And we got drunk and stood in the backyard and watched it. And it was the. But what an anticlimactic nightmare that was. And you realize it's not gonna. Nothing changes. But it is kind of neat to see. And then you think, well, if this is. I guess I caught the last one.

[A]

It was pretty cool. And then you can't capture the image on your phone.

[B]

No, you can't. And people try to photograph the little brown.in the sketch like it's a blood moon. It's the period moon, I call it, because it's that same color.

[A]

It was flowing.

[B]

Oh, it was hard. And, you know, then the moon disappears a little bit. And then they did intrigue me last night by saying the reason it turns red is because it's. It's a very odd scientific phenomenon of when the moon is in a spot that this occurs. It's reflecting all the sunrises and sunsets at the same time onto the surface of the moon, which I thought was kind of. That's kind of neat. Like, that's why it turns red. Like, it's got the sunrises and sunsets now. I don't understand that at all. But something happens at the positioning where it actually bends light towards that. I don't know. I don't understand.

[A]

I was hoping it was glowing because it's got so hot.

[B]

That's it. Because. Yes, it's. It's. Yeah, it's like a bad giant cold. Yep.

[A]

So you got a burly for this?

[B]

I did. With some jerk off to post it on Facebook. I'm good. Yeah. And you knew that that would happen. I know.

[A]

It is a little.

[B]

Take the extra 20 minutes.

[A]

You know, you see it on the paper. Well, like, I didn't know anything about it.

[B]

I'm going to tell you until I

[A]

woke up this morning and they're like, oh, okay. That's pretty cool.

[B]

As a guy who set his alarm for it, let me tell you this. Brett's right. There's no reason to look at that thing as boring as hell. There's nothing. And it's really because I'm an idiot. If I was smarter, if I had some sort of semblance of intelligence in my head about that kind of stuff, keep in mind I'm not dumb, but I'm only smart in areas that are stupid. TV theme songs. Who starred in what when Terry Kaiser was on Three's Company. Why? That was crazy. Yeah, but it's those things. My brain's like, oh, that's. Yeah, you got that. Football stats, things like that. When it comes to actual things that make this dumb little bowl of planet and its moon and all that. And, man, I asked chatgpt the other day. I'm like, can you walk me through algebra? Because I was. I'm so bad at math. I've always been like, I was a straight A student until algebra showed up, and I'm like, what the. What the Are all these letters doing here? That's an algebra. It's Alphabet. I know the Alphabet. What are they doing? X's and D's and like, what's the. And I didn't get it. And my report card was just a, A, a, D, A. And I'm like. And I'm trying. And I was miserable. I could not get algebra. Got onto geometry and understood that completely. It shapes. But algebra, I didn't understand. So I asked Chachi PT the other day, because I'm thinking to Myself, this is 8th grade math. I should be able to pick this up now. ChatGPT might as well have been speaking French. It starts in with the B's and the A's and the overs and the. I don't know what this is.

[A]

It's been a couple years. Oh, since I can help Kirby and math, you know, I mean, all through high school, when she hit high school,

[B]

and you got a book and you're also an adult, so you understand. I can go to the back and try to understand this. I can go to the Internet and it's. Yeah, that's. Yeah, I don't have any fun with that. So, yeah, there's a. I'm done, Brett.

[A]

Cool.

[B]

Is that Cages? Yeah. Is that a station here in town? Yeah, there's a station called Cages.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, that's the one at MCC Jazz. Oh, I thought. I'm sorry. I. I shot my load on the wrong one there. I thought it was something else.

[A]

And the voice on that won't excite me.

[B]

That's the NPR station. Yeah. Well, that's A great picture they've got there of the cages nailed. The moon. Wow.

[A]

Unfortunately, it looks like President Trump.

[B]

He'll probably bomb the moon later today. We're going to talk to 14 lesbians this morning about how they think about wicker baskets and war. Yeah. I love. That's a great picture. That beats what I saw. Yeah.

[A]

It wasn't even close to what I saw.

[B]

Glad I slept in. There you go, Brett. Got an extra hour. I'm sitting in the backyard with a cup of coffee. I can't stand the flavor of watching the moon disappear. Trying to make it cool. And again, it's because I'm a. If I understood what was happening, the scientific phenomena of what that is would be great. People think I'm smart because I can I say smart stuff or at least use words, you know? But I'm not smart. I'm not at all. And I'm barely.

[A]

I get the same thing.

[B]

Yeah, you are. Yeah. People like, lean to you. The. Yeah. The community of intelligentsia leans on Brady quite a bit. But I'm dumb and I know it. But I can BS my way around most stuff when it comes to this. I don't know what I'm doing and I don't know why I'm watching. It's like the movie Inception. At one point, I just had to admit to myself, I don't get this. And I remember turning in the theater to Megan and saying, I don't know what's going on. I'm going to sleep. And I actually said it. I'm going to sleep. We went to the 10 o' clock showing of Inception. Oh, forget that. On a weekday.

[A]

I've never gone back. I'm like, it's impossible.

[B]

Yeah, I'm too dumb. And I. And I readily admit that, but that was what I did. And I woke up and I'm staring at that mood. I'm like, that's neat. But I don't know what's going on and I don't know why this happened. I'll never understand an eclipse and some jackass will email. I don't. My brain doesn't get it and don't really care, to be honest. Going for the visual. You know, Brett, it's time. I also admitted this. Things I don't care about out loud are because I'm too stupid to understand them. So it's my defense mechanism to just push it away. We get angry at what we don't understand. I'm smart enough to know that and I don't understand it. So I just act like I don't care, but I do, sorta. It bored me when I was a kid, so it just makes me feel stupid. It was neat to see, but that picture on Cages, just as good as what I looked at, if not better. That was a great shot. Congratulations, you worthless hippies at Cages. That's a great picture.

[A]

The influencer over at Cages was the one who doctored up that picture.

[B]

Is that a. I can't believe that's a station. These. These days. How are they not. Look, I'm a big fan of winning in the ratings and. Well, on the podcast and the numbers we're getting on the POD don't care about ratings as much anymore. But the podcast. Because they've screwed it all up here. But how are there not Cages stickers on everything? Like, remember when we had.

[A]

Don't see a lot of them.

[B]

What was the. The news one that was so great that the K. No, it's K N. Oh, yeah, yeah. Knt. Oh, you couldn't. Something like that, but you just couldn't not see the worst thing ever. Yeah, I had a bus. Remember that? Kknt. I think it was kknt. Yeah. Even thinking about it, it makes me laugh. That was awesome. Bus. You'd sit at a stoplight and look over at a bus station and the bus station just had the most foul word ever just plastered across the back of it. Backs of buses just calling you the C word with a K. There it is. Yep. You can't not see it.

[A]

You're like you said, Clan News Talk. What?

[B]

Oh, I didn't see that.

[A]

Two thirds.

[B]

I didn't see Clan News Talk. That's for darn sure. I just wanted that on the back of my car. Do you listen to kknt? Then you're a. And we have you guys and stuff like that. They had the army, the KKNT team.

[A]

Is they gonna be out this afternoon?

[B]

Oh, that's another thing. I'm loving. Last night I was watching that new show. I'm loving so much War. And it's on all the channels. You can get it on Fox and CNN and. And Miss now. And last night War had a new character they introduced because I don't believe anything is authentic anymore. This is a manufactured something or other. We're blowing people up because something else going on. So it's a nice distraction. I just don't buy this at all. It's just something crazy going on with this war.

[C]

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[B]

It's John Holberg here from the morning Sickness talking to you right now about the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. You can be a LASIK candidate. They'll check that out. Lens replacement is unbelievable. If you got a cataract like I had, but I had something crazy happen with a torn retina came out of nowhere. No warning signs. That torn retina things. No joke. And that's why Dr. Jay Schwartz is so great. You get that complimentary consultation, see how your eyes are doing. Otherwise they'll take care of whatever you need. Protect that vision. Start at teamidoc.com or call them 480-483-EYES Schwartz Laser Eye center, the official eye center for your Diamondbacks and sons Holmberg's morning sickness. But I'm watching War last night. Episodes were really good and the videos they got are I'm behind. Oh, you'll get. Oh, you'll catch up. It's so good. But then I realized that it's all for me and Brett because there was a lady on Ms. Now who's an expert on war and I won't say her first name, but you can. In your car it's N E, G A R. And the people that you can't say your name, you can't say it. And on msnbc, how are they saying it on the. Like, cigar.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Only. Nuh. That's not. That's not what it sounds like. Oh, you don't want any of that. I'm not playing it. But they kept saying it, and her name's just on the tv. And I'm dying. Like, this is the group of people that would get so mad if they ever heard anyone say that word outside of it. But they found a person who got named that.

[A]

Why would they do that?

[B]

Why would anyone name their kid the N word? Because that's essentially what her name and the AR at the end makes it hard. R. Good morning. Yeah. And that's what they said. Thank you so much. And I'm like, oh, oh, this is about war. And I'm laughing. You can't have it. But that was her name, and she's an adult and she's walking around proud of that. If you named me, I would change my name. I don't care what culture you were from where that was. Okay. When you got to the States and she didn't have an accent, so she's second generation. She was raised here. She was raised.

[A]

And her parents are proud. That's mine.

[B]

Which one is yours? Oh, mine is that one over there. Come here. Stop that. Yeah, they N, E, G A, R. And I'm like, well, you know, you just can't.

[A]

You can't mess with that.

[B]

And then you'd be like, she's. You know, if you were the anchor on the news, his name was Chris something or other. He's. He's one of the stars of war, and he was on the news and he was like, there had to be a meeting earlier that day, so we need an expert in the field of, you know, whatever she does. Like, I don't know, agriculture during war. I don't know what she did. I couldn't focus on it because once they flashed the name, all of her expertise went out the window. And all I could focus on is how is she still alive? How is. Her friends get beat up all the time for just shouting her name when she walks in a bar? We're over here,

[C]

fight.

[B]

But then I said that there had to be a name. Yeah. Party of two, Party of two. This one, this one. They just basically didn't use the name. They used their last name. Not this one. Hang on. I'm not playing it. If they use it. Well, no, they don't use their first name. They just. But it's just on there. But they had to have a meeting and they said, this lady knows everything about the thing we're going to talk about, Chris, Guy had to be like, that's perfect. She will make her a character on my new show, War. And then she sat down like, what's her name? It's. We can't have her on. Yeah, we can't do that. But there it is.

[A]

Hey, Gar.

[B]

Oh, geez. He said the name. That's her name. I had to dump it because the guy just said her name on the clip.

[A]

I need to dump that.

[B]

That's her name. It's. And you can't. Whatever she says after that, I am lost.

[A]

He didn't get in trouble?

[B]

No, he. Well, you know, he's on msnbc. In order to get in trouble, it would have to be his own network yelling at him that he needs to get fired. Was that on cnn? Yeah. Oh, man. She's making the tour.

[A]

Hell yeah, she is. All right, when we go to break, I gotta hear them say it at the end.

[B]

He goes, that's unbelievable information. Thanks a lot. No problem. Bye, Chris. We'll be right back with more Miss Now. I don't know what's going on. Yeah, yeah, she. She tipped a 40. Some Iranians like, what is going on at 601, by the way, that means it's time to give you a code word for no, Brad. But I was with you, and I'm like, the world is. The simulation is not real. This is broken. There isn't a soul on the planet that would allow, you know, a guy whose name was Spik to be an expert on anything. All right, thanks a lot there. All right, we'll be right back. The next guest is Chang. And why didn't you change your name? I mean, don't you change your name? Screw that. Doesn't have an accent. You go with the middle name. Diane. Yeah, I don't know if your name is Diane or not, but it's Diane. You change your name and you tell your parents, like, yeah, I get it. How would you change your name from the proud name we gave you? Because we're in America now, and it's been a nightmare. It's not even spelled, this name, but nobody's spelling it. They're just saying it. And everyone I know hates me. The six o'. Clock. Hold on, hold on. I gotta do this first. Six o' clock word is Mustaine. Mustaine. There you go. Put it in there on the app and at the website and you can knock that out. Mustang, you're going to put the sphere with Metallica, who's now added Six more shows after yesterday. What were you gonna say?

[A]

The radio legend in Columbus, Ohio, that never changed his name. Spook Beckman.

[B]

Yeah. You can't see. He can't. Is this on the mirror? No, no. He was. He was killed. That's it. One of the. Just. Somebody's eventually gonna go after this lady whose name is the N word. Terrible. But war was good last night. Oh, that got real. And then Saudi Arabia's involved. Now they're chucking drones into that.

[A]

Too far behind.

[B]

No, you can pick right up and you start seeing those drones go into Riyadh and you're like, ooh, that's weird. And that's going to cause major problems. War is going to get real good here soon.

[A]

I just check in every now and then to make sure Lindsay Lohan and Quentin Tarantino are okay.

[B]

That's right, because they both live over there in the Middle east, and that's what matters most. They gave me two updates last night on war on two different channels of Lindsay Lohan's safety, and I was grateful for that. Lindsay Lohan, who's an expat who married some guy billionaire over there. She's living in the uae. So far, so good with Lindsay. Like, oh, thank God. That's why I watch War. There was a. I didn't even know.

[A]

You know, I learned about Quentin Tarantino. I didn't know he was part time in Israel.

[B]

Yeah, he's over in Israel.

[A]

Got his own little Candyland ranch over there.

[B]

Finger your. Cross your fingers. That war doesn't get to him. Well, that would be. That would be like when. When they killed Sean Bean off a Game of Thrones in the first season. You can't lose if they kill off Quentin Tarantino in war. Oh, my God. Terr. Spook in 1958. Yeah.

[A]

There he is, Mom.

[B]

Apparently with the bumper to bumper. Brett, look up Spook Backman, Columbus superhero. Yeah, it's. War's been really good. I watched. I watched CNN's coverage there. Brett, the episodes on. On CNN last night, not as good last night. I think the winner of the war. They're burning out.

[C]

Maybe.

[B]

Well, they went too deep with too many squares on the screen. You know, like watching Hollywood Squares or from an. They're like six squares up there because

[A]

they're all on location somewhere.

[B]

And they got people all over Tel Aviv and Riyadh. And one lady was telling me how hard it is to get in and out of stuff. The airport and you got there. CNN can fly people in.

[A]

They got their own.

[B]

I know, but like if that's a thing, then plop. All those people you're worried about, you're screaming how bad it is that there's so many people that are stuck. You know, American citizens that can't get back. We'll give them the CNN jet and fly them back.

[A]

Yeah, they're landing at the military base. Okay, whatever.

[B]

You guys are in and out like nobody's business.

[A]

Yeah, there's room.

[B]

I thought it was great, though, that Aaron Burnett did pack makeup. When you're going to Tel Aviv to report on war, It's a cool. That makes me a main character in the show War we're doing. And then I looked at her, the first shot, she just landed. No makeup. She looked, like, just awful. So she either went to the Sephora in Tel Aviv or she brought her own. And you know that she's a woman. So she opened up her suitcase, went, God damn it, I forgot my hair diffuser. And she's bitching about that. And then sent some CNN kid to go out in War and go grab her a hair dryer because she looked pretty nice last night.

[A]

Oh, her producer got to it.

[B]

Oh, yeah, Somebody got her all her products.

[A]

Look, we can't go to you.

[B]

We can't look at you.

[A]

You gotta fix that.

[B]

Look like one of the pigs from Angry Birds. We're not. And her husband's sitting at home going, really? Yeah. You go on this trip and you don't have that problem. But we. We go to Vegas for the weekend and here we go. I bet she's. I wonder if when a woman travels to Tel Aviv for work, if she starts her period. I doubt it. I doubt it. It's not really a vacation. They ruin everything.

[A]

All depends on who she's traveling with.

[B]

That's true. If she's boning a guy and in her, for sure. Yeah. And her vagina knows it. They get somewhere over, I don't know, the Caribbean and she gets. Oh, I'm cramping. Like, great. Seven more hours. She's going to be a blood moon. Yeah. So. And then another thing I love is that I heard KTAR this morning, and I realized that somewhere along the lines in the last few days, they had to go into some guy's office and go, all right, we need cool bumpers for war. And this morning I heard KTAR News covering the war, and I ran like no one else. Yeah, no, it's pretty much the same as everybody. First most accurate, thorough. Tune in there.

[A]

Maybe we'll send Broomhead.

[B]

Yeah, that would be Broomhead. Would Love it. But they had the bumpers on there. And I just realized that from Las Cruces to New York, that same meeting happened in every radio station in America. Las Cruces News, covering the war like nobody else. Like, now you're Las Cruces. Nobody's listening to you. Maybe the same Jim Cross. He's an expert on everything else, too.

[A]

He's already over there.

[B]

Yeah. Tune in to Jaime Sanchez in the morning on Las Cruces, number one news channel for war. And they gotta. Don't get in the background. And more coverage. Nobody else doing it like us. I'm like, oh, yeah, I forgot this is a TV show. It's for ratings. I was watching the. The Fox coverage last night, and who

[A]

looks better between the two on the COVID I.

[B]

There's. There's a lot. There's a lot of good on all of them. They're all doing a really nice job.

[A]

They send any bombshells?

[B]

Oh, man. There's this one on. On Fox, Aisha something. Hosny. She just. She's telling me the worst things I've ever heard in my life. About, like, a school got bombing, 88 kids are dead, and I'm just hard as a rock. She's. She's looking at me like, do you want to. After I talk about dead kids, I'm like, yep. She's just got. And she's got the smiles and her eyes are smiling. Aisha Hosni. I think that's right. Her eyes just shout out, let's. Whoa. Yeah. And she's giving you some horrible information. Just terrible news. But she is. Yeah, it's porn. She's got porn face. So I like when she. They throw to her. And like, she's always standing at the White house and she's looking. Yeah, she's looking at you like, I don't even want to be here right now. I'm just looking for D. In the meantime, 66 kids were bombed. Blown all the way up. Yeah, she is. She is a spectacular specimen of delivery of news. She's like those joke things you see when they talk about Mexican weather. Ladies.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Like, you're like, that can't be real. But then you turn it to Fox and you realize, nope, that's real. All right. Aisha has me standing in front of a building and telling you stuff, but she's just giving you the eyes. Oh, she's just beautiful.

[A]

Come on down to the Ranch House Grill.

[B]

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[A]

It was.

[B]

Or it's Marky Mark and Chris Pratt arguing about who prays better. That's a commercial.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

The full commercial.

[A]

I've seen that one where he's with the guy about the.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Tunnel to towers. Yeah. No, this one is that he looks at you and he goes, let's just.

[A]

Let's.

[B]

I'm just going to stop a little prayer. Let's just pray, dear Lord Jesus. And I'm like, what the hell? And then he's. But he's got an app. And then Chris Pratt calls him and goes, you praying? Yeah, I'm praying. Of course. Why wouldn't I? And then they start praying together and then they're like promoting some app. Thanks, Dirk Diggler. Yeah. Come on. Exactly.

[A]

Now I gotta go play a part three in my backyard.

[B]

In the backyard. You notice how little people did.

[A]

Jesus. Jesus Christ, Jesus.

[B]

And I'm like, what is going on? It's weird. And then like a commercial for poof. Like to get poop and cat piss smells out of your House. And then they go back to war.

[A]

My pillow guy showing up at all?

[B]

Yeah, he's not on there. I was looking for Mike Lindell. Having trouble sleeping? I might.

[A]

Lindell probably the race rates too high.

[B]

Well, FOX viewers are struggling to sleep because they got the pillow guy. Mike Huckabee comes on and promotes some sort of sleep thing. I had some other lady talking about a drug to sleep. Fox people are all wound up. They don't sleep. MSNBC people have someone named the N word that pops on every once in a while. The war's been fun. It's been a good show. Good show. Good show. And I know it's flippant of me to say so, but it's a good show. It's good. I highly recommend it. And you're not too far behind. It's just season one, and we're only like five episodes in, so you can catch up.

[A]

But they're every 15 minutes.

[B]

Yeah. Though they recap. That's the best thing. The writers recap everything. It's like watching Love is Blind. Every time you come back from a commercial, they tell you what happened in the last segment, and then they go to commercial again, and then they start a new sets. Really good at exposition. They're excellent. They've really kind of moved the story along by letting you know what they've already talked about and how good it's getting, and then. And then just bash the crap out of the people who disagree with them. It's. It's been a fun show. I just. There's no way I'm buying it that they're not. They're just beaten off over there. All the news channels, loving every second of the. You got video footage of drones smashing into stuff. That's just great TV. That drone went in there, it looked like an F17 right into a building. And I'm like, man. Then I'm like, why don't they just use missiles? Isn't that a waste of a drone? Like, they're just gonna smash it into stuff. Isn't it just a missile at that point? Pretty much, yeah. It ceases to be a drone if its purpose is to mash into the side of a SA thing. I love the war. It's fun. This guy just emailed me. Oh, I'm getting a ton of emails on the. I'll read them all. But the DeAndre Aiden thing, that guy was.

[A]

What's the word again?

[B]

Mustaine?

[A]

Mustang.

[B]

Okay, That's Dave Mustaine. Not Mustang. No, not Mustang. Yeah, Mustang. Yeah, Like Dave Mustang. Former that's kind of mean of us to use this as a. He's not, but must. He will not be at Sphere. No. He might be in the crowd. Make him buy his own ticket, too. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's not getting comped.

[A]

You just have the red locks in the Sphere.

[B]

Oh. If it grew in the outside and just Mustaine's angry little face, I should be part of this shred. I'm inside, outside. All these ideas were mine. And then he just. Just burns up. This one says, hey, Holmberg, I just walked into the bathroom and saw my wife in the shower shaving down south. Have you ever seen this? I think I want a divorce. That was disgusting. Any thoughts? Gary, have you ever seen that?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

It is gross. That little hunched up, weird kind of. Monty Burns. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, but what's. How can you. Yeah.

[B]

What's the opposite? Having that, just seeing it. Amazon. No. There's certain things you don't want to watch a woman wipe her ass. Well, no, but I mean, like, you know, she can't help, but she's shaving. Yeah. She don't bother.

[A]

First off, you know, I don't think it's that gross.

[B]

It's pretty gross. It's a bad position. You don't wander in when the shower's on. A little privacy, Gary. You know, the last thing I want to see is somebody corn cobbing to try to clean holes. That's not sexy. And if you're doing the shave thing, your legs up on that high hurdling. Yeah. You get some weird. And it puts you in a position. It's just not pretty. And your fat rolls. You can't help it. You can be skinny as can be. You're going to bend over in that spot and you're going to have triple rolls no matter what. And even. And then if you're in good shape. No, nobody should see. I'm with Gary on that. I think that's gross. And certain things maintenance of the body needs to be a private act because it's very rarely pretty.

[A]

Maintenance should be done, though.

[B]

Oh, he shouldn't have went barging in. That's what I think. I think it's Gary's fault. And that shower's run. And you run the risk of wandering in there and seeing something you shouldn't see on.

[A]

You walked in. That's your fault.

[B]

Right? If you hear a shower, you just let somebody have a shower. I. I've never understood the couples that. I never understood the whole shared bathroom thing. I don't know when, like the your whole life as a kid you want your own bath, you brag, you call your friends oh my sister moved out, I got my own bathroom. Like it's an exciting moment. Then you get an apartment with another guy or girl and a roommate and you say it's a two bedroom two bath, I don't have to share. And then you get married and this, this virus of a person and you have to share a limited amount of space and they take over and it's gross. And you, you got one toilet, one shower and used to be one sink. We added an extra sink because women ruined it.

[A]

Ron is used to it. I just stand outside the shower whenever she showers and just watch.

[B]

Yeah but you shouldn't be in there. And some couples just like wander around.

[A]

I've gone in there, you know like the showers running before and they. It's a mass mur. That walked in.

[B]

Well yeah, cuz it's a private. You're naked and vulnerable. That's the only time a woman being afraid of you. You shouldn't walk in when somebody's on the shower. You get out of there, you give them some time. You don't know what's going on. She might have had a healthy coffee dump and it's all over her thighs and she's just scrubbing it down and the next. And you walk in.

[A]

Oh if I walked in.

[B]

Yeah, so. And you run the risk of wandering

[A]

in there when no dumping in the shower.

[B]

She's not dumping. Waffle stomping. She, she took a dump and it got out of hand and the splashback went back a happened to friends of

[A]

ours, they discovered they were married for a couple of days. Jan Kelly her friend go oh yeah

[B]

good, good job Jan. Go on. It's good to talk to Jan again.

[A]

She had a friend that got married.

[B]

Oh now it's a friend. Now it's a friend. It's Jen Kelly.

[A]

She told the story of her friend.

[B]

Of course it's the for friend. Go ahead.

[A]

But they've been married for a couple years and never knew it. And the, the husband basically was he dump in the shower and scoop it out and put it in the toilet.

[B]

Oh that, that's divorce. Divorce.

[A]

And that's what happened.

[B]

It should. Kelly was right when Jan Kelly left that guy.

[A]

Oh it's not often.

[B]

I agree she was right on this. I don't know who Jan Kelly's husband was but that guy's a monkey. That's disgusting. You don't wander in when somebody's got a shower going unless it was previously discussed. I'll be in the shower. Look, and then. Then they're gonna be in sexy mode with a loofah and some fun. Oh, and the ass is already clean and everything else, you know, so. Yes. You don't watch somebody wash their ass. There's nothing about that that makes you go, there's something I want to be part of. When you're done cleaning that, I'll be right in. But I want to watch you wash off all the crusties and dingles. God damn, I've got to shave some of my butt hair. Oh, yeah. I want to wander in on that accidental looking good you dump into Charlie. Jan's ex husb. Jan Kelly's husband, who used to poop in the shower and waffle stomp it. Remember that? Oh, yeah. Everybody remembers. Jim Brady talks about Jan Kelly's husband, the monkey. That's right. He was a monkey. She married a monkey. And then she told the story. And she always tries to cover that by saying it was a friend. But why would a friend ever tell you that? Why would you walk around with that information of someone else's? You got lied to by Jan Kelly. That's her story.

[A]

Well, then she's still married.

[B]

Well, then she's a pig then. No, she's. She should leave that. That's disgusting. She's got a primate look. Her and Harambe might be happy, but

[A]

really dreamy waffle stomp.

[B]

Either way, just waffle stomp it. I just leave one? Yeah, her and Curious George aren't gonna make it. Why would Jan Kelly and her friends sit down. Go. I understand your marriage is in trouble, and here's why. Like nobody's gonna share that it was a sorority sister. That's right. That's what she told you. It's her last night at Postino's. I'll have a cab. Salve. I got a story for you, Jan. Oh, I can't wait to hear it now. You're gonna love it. Is it about your ape husband? Oh, it is fantastic. You know, Jan, my husband in the shower and scoops it up with his hands and puts it in the toilet. Can we get some bruschetta, Tyler?

[A]

This chocolate wine is delicious.

[B]

And Jan Kelly said with her wine. Why would you tell me that? So you can share it with someone who's on the radio, and later he can share it with the people. Let's just hope he doesn't use our names. Jan Kelly. Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus. I just saw the az family news woman found hanging in filthy bathroom Last words were, damn you, Brady. Brady. I told you that was a friend. I tried to tell your tale the right way. John saw through it. It's 6:19. The word for 6am is Mustang. Hop aboard that thing. Get it on there. And the blood moon's over, so you missed it. It wasn't that great. Go to cages. Cages.com. is that right? Right? Yeah. Or is it? They're an org. Yeah. Because they're government funded. Because nobody anymore. Well, they're trying that in a big way. And they're the WNBA of radio. Really? It's like you wouldn't be a station if it wasn't for government funding. PBS is the same way. PBS has some good stuff. Like I watch. Check, please. And occasionally, you know, they'll have a leopard eating a bird or something. I watch that. But for the most part, it wouldn't exist because not enough people watch it. And they don't have advertisements, but that's dumb. And they require all of us to pay for it. And then it gets subsidized, so Cages wouldn't be a thing. Really, because it's not that interesting. But I'll tell you what, they got a fun name and they take good pictures, which is a really quality radio station thing to do. Their picture of the blood moon's great tip of the cap to Cage is over there at Mace Community College. I proud of you. Is it still at mcc?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Ted Simons used to do news reports on Cages a lot.

[B]

Was. Oh, yeah, that's what I used to kind of volunteer over there to do. Ted Simons for Cages. It's time for Jen Kelly updates. He knew he knew Jen Kelly. Yeah, he probably knew her friend, too. He might have been the eight. Uh, let's get a wake up song, shall we? 585. 9800. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up.

[A]

Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fees.

[B]

I have heard enough of this.

[C]

Well, you've been to Monument Valley, you've done the Grand Canyon, and you've even road tripped to and hiked in Sedona. But have you truly seen and done Arizona? If you haven't fished Arizona, it's dictated from Homburg's morning sickness. And you should know, our great state offers unlimited opportunities to fish. Ponds, reservoirs, streams, rivers and lakes. It's all here. But whether you're a beginner or a pro, a fishing license is your passport to all the great spots for you to cast a line in Arizona. So get out and discover a new way to see Arizona's nature and buy a fishing license today at AZGFD.gov well, we're already into February, and most of us are clinging to those resolutions. And for men, it's even harder to commit to lifestyle changes. If you're in your 40s or older, it's Nick Delito for Game Day Men's Health. What Game Day Men's Health does is show you where you stand and gives you a game plan to tackle those changes. It all starts by scheduling a free consultation, and for most guys, that's quicker and easier than getting lab work scheduled through your own physician. You'll see for yourself by going to gamedaymenshealth.com and scheduling that free consultation at one of their 12 Valley locations. Head to gamedaymenshealth.Com.