03-04-25 - Scorpion Hitched A Ride In Woman's Luggage Sparking A Pest Control And Bugs Discussion - It's Mardi Gras Reminding Us Of The Cajun House And Girls Getting Beads

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
Episode: 03-04-25
Release Date: March 4, 2025

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1. Introduction and Listener Interactions

The episode kicks off with Dick Toledo promoting a FanDuel bonus bet offer (00:00). Shortly after, John Holmberg welcomes listeners back to "Holmberg's Morning Sickness," emphasizing the show's continuous streaming availability (00:35).

Discussion on COVID-19 and Major Events: John Holmberg engages in a thought-provoking discussion initiated by a listener's email challenging the impact of COVID-19. He contextualizes COVID-19 alongside other significant events like the O.J. Simpson trial, AIDS, and 9/11, highlighting the pervasive and lingering effects of the pandemic.

John Holmberg (01:30):
"Covid's one of those deals where it felt like it just became our life for a little bit rather than we couldn't escape it."

Bret Vesely probes whether the O.J. Simpson trial personally affected Holmberg, to which Holmberg responds that while events like AIDS were on television, they didn't impact him directly. He contrasts the singularity of events like 9/11 and O.J.'s trial with the prolonged presence of COVID-19 in daily life.

John Holmberg (03:20):
"It was our life for a year and a half. Inescapable. So weird. And more so than 9/11, which was, you know, a 20-year backlash."

2. The Scorpion Incident and Pest Control

Scorpion in Luggage Sparks Conversation (05:14): The primary topic revolves around a bizarre incident where a woman traveling from Mexico to Boston inadvertently brought a scorpion in her luggage, resulting in a scorpion sting at Logan Airport.

Kato Kaelin (05:33):
"She brought back a scorpion all the way from Mexico to Boston. A scorpion stung her right at the airport."

Holmberg recounts personal experiences with scorpions, sharing anecdotes from his youth and highlighting the rarity of encountering scorpions in certain areas.

Pest Control Failures and Experiences: The conversation delves into ineffective pest control methods. Holmberg critiques modern pest control practices, expressing frustration with methods that sterilize rather than eliminate pests.

John Holmberg (17:28):
"I miss the old days when you had like a garden hose with a big fan on it. And go outside and see that guy just poisoning the air."

Brett Vesely and Kato Kaelin contribute by emphasizing the inefficacy and costliness of current pest control strategies, reminiscing about more straightforward and aggressive methods used in the past.

3. Personal Anecdotes and Humor

Pest Control Stories: Holmberg shares humorous and exaggerated stories about dealing with pests, including scorpions and other insects. He illustrates his battle against scorpions with a mix of sarcasm and wit.

John Holmberg (12:48):
"Scorpions can crawl through anything. If you can get a credit card through it, it can make it through."

Mardi Gras and Social Commentary: Shifting gears, the hosts discuss Mardi Gras, critiquing its portrayal and the behaviors associated with it. Holmberg expresses disdain for the event's lewdness and commercialization.

John Holmberg (26:18):
"Mardi Gras kind of skated by as being the sex romp, dirty boob machine that it is. I've never been. I don't want to go there."

The conversation includes observations about the superficial representation of festivities versus the underlying realities.

4. Upcoming Events and Music Highlights

Promotion of Local Events: Brett Vesely takes a moment to promote upcoming musical events and tours, mentioning bands like Offspring, Revolting Cocks, Metallica, and more.

Brett Vesely (24:22):
"Offspring just announced the summer tour, so they're on the list. Revolting cocks are up there. Metallica for Jason Newstead's birthday."

Humorous Banter on Show Elements: The hosts engage in playful banter about potential segments, including humorous "Password" games involving Kato Kaelin and mentions of fellow personalities like O.J. Simpson.

John Holmberg (32:20):
"Maybe we'll have them play a game together. They'll partner up and password."

5. Conclusion and Wrap-Up

As the show nears its end, the hosts continue their light-hearted discussions, intertwining personal stories with cultural critiques. They reiterate the Mardi Gras theme, blending humor with social observations.

John Holmberg (31:34):
"We're not coming back. We'll just go do this somewhere else. And I have to deal with that bead nonsense."

The episode concludes with a mention of future segments and a teaser about interactions between Kato Kaelin and O.J., promising an engaging Q&A session.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• John Holmberg (01:30):
  "Covid's one of those deals where it felt like it just became our life for a little bit rather than we couldn't escape it."

• John Holmberg (03:20):
  "It was our life for a year and a half. Inescapable. So weird. And more so than 9/11, which was, you know, a 20-year backlash."

• Kato Kaelin (05:33):
  "She brought back a scorpion all the way from Mexico to Boston. A scorpion stung her right at the airport."

• John Holmberg (12:48):
  "Scorpions can crawl through anything. If you can get a credit card through it, it can make it through."

• John Holmberg (17:28):
  "I miss the old days when you had like a garden hose with a big fan on it. And go outside and see that guy just poisoning the air."

• John Holmberg (26:18):
  "Mardi Gras kind of skated by as being the sex romp, dirty boob machine that it is. I've never been. I don't want to go there."

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Key Themes and Insights

1. Impact of Major Events:
   Holmberg reflects on how events like COVID-19, AIDS, and the O.J. Simpson trial have uniquely influenced society, comparing their immediate and long-term effects.

2. Pest Control Challenges:
   The episode highlights frustrations with modern pest control methods, advocating for more direct and effective strategies based on personal experiences.

3. Cultural Critique:
   A critical examination of Mardi Gras reveals concerns about its commercialization and the behavioral norms it perpetuates.

4. Humor and Anecdotes:
   Personal stories about scorpions and pest control are laced with humor, providing an entertaining yet insightful narrative.

5. Community and Local Events:
   Promotion of local music events underscores the show's connection with the Arizona community and its engagement with listener interests.

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Conclusion

This episode of "Holmberg's Morning Sickness" seamlessly blends serious discussions about societal impacts of major events with lighter, humorous anecdotes about everyday challenges like pest control. The hosts maintain an engaging and conversational tone, enriched with personal stories and critical insights, making it both informative and entertaining for listeners.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com There you go. Thank you. Miles to nowhere here in the morning sickness. And yes, a guy emails. Ryan is right. Ryan emailed and said Covid wasn't a thing. If you're with us a little bit ago, we're generational events and because Kato Kalin's going to be in here in a little bit and you know, the OJ thing was just such a striking out of nowhere event and he's like, Covid wasn't a thing. Campbell, you guys didn't think Covid had an impact? It had an impact, don't get me wrong on that. We know it happened cuz he said there's parts of the economy, housing, auto sales, food service still haven't recovered. I guess everyone experienced this differently. I'm not saying it was, but you know what I mean, like an event that was just this snuck up on us and stuck around. That's why I think Covid's one of those deals where it felt like it just became our life for a little bit rather than it's we couldn't escape it. You could turn OJ's trial off, you could walk away and go, I don't care. You could do that to Covid. And it still was gonna be there. I mean OJ's thing was gonna be there no matter what too. But I mean there were basically the murder, the chase. If you followed the trial at all, it was either 100% or it was little bits here and then the verdict.

[Brett Vesely]

OJ didn't affect you personally, right?

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Somebody else brought up aids and I'm like, AIDS was a thing that maybe it affected few people, like in their house and they had, you know, they were adjacent to it. For me it was the tv. AIDS was on TV and it wasn't going to affect me at all. I Mean, there was a little worry for a while there that it was going to start sneaking into when the Ryan White thing was certainly a scare tactic for, you know, young kids to sit. Oh yeah, you can't even have like a surgery. You get a blood transfusion, you're getting aids. It's like, oh boy, here we go. You know, so I think there's those, are those all encompassing timeline suckers rather than, you know, 911 was a boo and there's, you know, the, the after effects that's certainly tied to it. But I mean you remember 911 as one singular thing. You remember OJ as one singular thing. And then you know, the bleed out Covid was just. It is weird though that I do and I am guilty of that completely. I don't. One thing Covid did for me is screwed up my. And I used to be great at this, but screwed up my ability to know when things happened. People be like, what was that? And I don't know, it was like three or four years ago, like 11 years ago. Like, yeah, like I have no timeline since COVID of understand. And I literally could name almost within a minute like the times of like I can figure that out in heart. But that was 2011, thereabouts. Now it's like 2019, 2020. And not even then. It screwed up stuff before. It messed up things when people like, when did you know? Where were you? Like, I don't know. What was that, 17 years ago? No, it was four years ago or the opposite. I'll be like, what was that four years ago? Like, no, it's 12 years ago. And that may be age, but I know it happened right after Covid. I could no longer figure out like timelines as easily. And I think it's because maybe it did affect me that way is that I just blanked out that time. This didn't happen because that shot you.

[Brett Vesely]

Took, man, totally was.

[John Holmberg]

Because it was just so blank. I am. Because I got the jab. Jab erased your history. No, I remember things. I just can't place them anymore.

[Brett Vesely]

Part of the plan.

[John Holmberg]

I'm good up to a certain point. And then that. It's weird, it just kind of blanked me out. So. Yeah, no, Ryan, you're absolutely right. It was a thing. But it was. It wasn't a singular event. It was our life for a year and a half. Inescapable. So weird. And more so than 9 11, which was, you know, a 20 year backlash. But it's one single day that we all associate with it. And then Everything that happened after OJ Was the same thing. It was like the chase and then the people that came out of it. Which one of them we'll talk to later this morning. Interesting. It's just. It's just a strange. I was watching an old episode of Cheers last night and credit comes up written by David angel and my brain goes died in 9 11. Because I know that that guy who was one of the writers on Cheers, one of the producers, and then went on to produce and write Frasier, whenever I see his name, that's one of the first things died in 9 11. Your brain just reminds you, oh my God. It's crazy because it affects you. It just gets you there. Speaking of flying around in dangerous places, starting in Boston, where 9 11. Actually kind of the lady yesterday on the news that I saw flying back from Mexico had entered in her luggage.

[Kato Kaelin]

Brett, she brought back something from Mexico that doesn't belong in America. That's right. A freeloader. One of their rapists. One of their. From institutions and prisons and mental institutions that they came back from. She brought back a scorpion all the way from Mexico to Boston. A scorpion stung her right at the airport.

[John Holmberg]

So in Boston, a lady reaches down for her Mexico luggage and one of them illegal scorpions hopped on trying to become a citizen. Scorpion here. No, no. Yep, send deported him. Cuffed his little stinger claws. Those little cl. Yep. They threw him in there.

[Kato Kaelin]

Now he's on a plane. He's gonna be in Gitmo. Don't try it. Scorpions.

[John Holmberg]

You stay home.

[Kato Kaelin]

You know, Brad, a lot of times.

[John Holmberg]

They'Ll talk about that.

[Kato Kaelin]

He said, but scorpion are gonna try to get around. You're gonna get here and I say no, we're gonna put us under Biden. How many scorpions got into this country? So many. You never once heard of any scorpions getting arrested at the airport. But already in just six short weeks, we've stopped them.

[Brett Vesely]

Trump won. Scorpions zero.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly.

[Kato Kaelin]

Try again. Scorpions, I dare you. Mexican scorpions climbing into your luggage. It's the age old story and Biden used to let it happen. Terrible president. What a dumb piece of he was. Scorpions. You know, that's why we've got scorpions spread. And the border towns in Texas and Arizona have to try to put a stop to it. But Biden let's millions of scorpions in go to Arizona. Tell me, God, in the desert, are you comfortable? I feel all right about it. You go out there, there's going to be scorpions. And I know why. Mexico and now they're in Boston. They're everywhere, but.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. She reached down at the airport at Logan and said. Felt like somebody stabbed her with a needle, a hot needle. And then her arm went dead numb. And she realized there was a scorpion in the bag. Rushed her to the hospital. That would be horrifying to get stung by a scorpion in Boston the first time you see a scorpion. Most of us are from somewhere else. It took. God.

[Brett Vesely]

I was here.

[John Holmberg]

I lived here for 10, 12 years before I ever saw one in the wild. Yeah, I'd seen him in, you know, in boxes. Some kid brought one in with a black widow. And the things you put autographed baseballs in those boxes you can squeeze together. Yeah. And a little square. And he put a scorpion in there and a black widow and slammed it shut and brought it to school the next day. And neither of them were moving. And we had to remind him, there's no air in there. I think the spider's not doing so good. And the scorpion, sure enough, we'd shake it and scorpion get all pissed off. And we'd try to. Like, his. DJ Lisicki was his name. 6th grade DJ at last I heard he. He's one of the guys you knew was probably gonna die. That's what I'm. We're bouncing it around. And the scorpion landed on the black widow and then threw the. Threw the bomb. And I don't know what we expected, like, them to, like, square off and, like, go in circles. And there were two little, like, things for where the baseball would rest. So they had blockers in front of all. So we had to, like, get them in the right spot. So I think they were just concussed. Anyway, he stings the black widow. It was so anticlimactic. It was ridiculous. And. And then later, I believe it was rj who sat next to dj. He brought in two scorpions in a better box. And what you realize there is that they get along pretty well. I didn't fight.

[Kato Kaelin]

Yeah, we didn't.

[John Holmberg]

They had no beef. The two of them were in that box. It was a shoe box. And we'd just move it around, and we'd open the top, and they'd be in there, like, kind of, whoa. The hell's going on? One laying on the other one. They didn't care.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't see what the big deal is about a scorpion in Boston. I mean, that's. That's not the worst thing in Boston. You got Patriots fans, you got Sox fans.

[John Holmberg]

Scorpion reported back to me. I've never Heard so many n words in my life. That is most racist nicest town in America. But the first time I ever saw a scorpion like outside of where somebody had it captured, was it. What are the apartments on Gilbert and Guadalupe? The Palm. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Where? The Palm.

[John Holmberg]

There's two of them. It's got that. They're.

[Brett Vesely]

They're right next to it's huge, complex. Huge.

[John Holmberg]

There's two of them. They're awful apartments. Something like that.

[Brett Vesely]

Something. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And my friends had an apartment there and they were get this three bedroom, 1700 square foot apartment for $550 a month. Wow. Yeah. I mean that's crazy times now. But it would only be like 2000 now because not only could you hear the people next to you, you could touch the wall and feel their heat. Like if you put your hand on your wall and they put their hand on the shared wall through the other apartment, you would feel human contact. I think. I'm pretty sure when Brett dries noodles when he's making lasagna, it's a thicker barrier hanging in his kitchen.

[Brady]

Did they have those fold up walls like in the convention halls?

[John Holmberg]

No, those are way too sturdy. Those were way too thick and sturdy. These were literally like almost like pot sticker skin. I think if you just leaned into them, you'd see a body shape. But we were in there and not only did they have this issue like when it would get a little humid outside, just a little mushrooms grew out of the carpet. Like outside mushrooms, not like drug mushrooms. Where the guy who lived there before had some sort of thing. Real mushroom.

[Brady]

There's some good moisture going on in that apartment.

[John Holmberg]

You'd fall asleep on the couch. I would. Because we'd get drunk, everybody go to bed. I'd sleep on the couch playing, you know, video games until we couldn't out wake up after a monsoon. No water got in. Doors, windows all closed. And you'd look over and I'm talking full. The big Mario Brothers giant mushrooms. People could live under them.

[Brett Vesely]

If you lived in mesa in the 80s and 90s, that was your first apartment.

[John Holmberg]

Yes.

[Brett Vesely]

Like everybody in Mesa, that was their first apartment.

[John Holmberg]

There were over 20,000 apartments at Playa del Palm and they were huge. And everybody had like, I'll get five roommates. And that's where all my Chris Valenzuelas lived. There were like 13 illegal Mexicans that were worked with me at Tony Roma's, all named Chris Valenzuela. And I would go to their place to drop them off or pick them up. Went in once for A beer. And it's just a series of sleeping bags in the middle of the main room. A tv and then, you know, shifts. These six went to work at Tony Roma's on a Tuesday. These six went to Olive Garden on a Wednesday. And they just rotate which Chris Fallon's white list would get there. The best workers I've ever had. Mushrooms grew out of there. But I remember being in the kitchen, looking down and seeing this lobster. And I didn't know what it was. And I remember seeing a scorpion for the first time. And I thought to myself, I'm on another planet. Holmberg's morning sickness. They don't look like they belong here. They move funny, they look weird, they're just not normal. They glow in the dark. I mean, they're. That's the day I realized if there is a God, he's a 12 year old boy who's got like a science project. He just can't get enough of fooling around. He's got too much power. Why did he invent the scorpion? Ask any 13 year old boy to invent a bug and he'll come up with a scorpion. It's awesome. Pincers. A stinger that's poisonous. It'll kill a human infant. And its main purpose is to keep the cricket population at bay. Why does it need to have human killing skills then? I don't know. Here's the best part. It's invisible unless you put a black light on it. Then it glows in the dark. All right, put your toys down. You're messing around. Are you lying? No, no. It's gonna control like moths and crickets. Well then give it cricket killing ability. Why can't it kill a human kid? You gotta step on it to piss it off, right? But you can't see it like you're an idiot. You're the worst God ever. Why did you invent that?

[Brady]

It looks great on your ceiling at night. The clothes with the stars, the plants.

[John Holmberg]

Scorpion like, oh boy, that thing's gonna fall on me. And they can crawl through anything. If you can get a credit card through it, it can make it through. It can live without air for 15 months and underwater for three. What doesn't need food for over a year? Like, what are you inventing here, you jackass? You might have a cricket problem without them. I'll take the crickets. They're so much more reasonable than what you've invented to stop crickets. You have a little nuclear bomb to stop some crickets. And by the way, a lot of crickets. Don't know that they're doing a great job.

[Brady]

It's just. It's a panic sign. You start seeing crickets, you're like, oh, boy.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there comes all the food for you. And they're also cannibalistic. If they can't find crickets, they'll just start eating each other. Like, this is the worst bug alive. Oh, you think that's bad? I invented a larva that's only designed to eat the eyeballs of infant human beings. Okay. You're the worst God in the world. Can't even see it. It's microscopic. Only baby eyes. And that's what it lives on. Yep. Okay, we'll keep our eyes open for that. Not everyone, but, yeah. I saw that scorpion at that apartment, and I remember thinking, oh, boy. And then. Didn't see much of anything. I grew up here with no scorpions.

[Kato Kaelin]

Because, you know, why make America great again?

[John Holmberg]

When I grew up, there was a dude named Bucky who came to my house and poisoned the earth to a point where we couldn't be at home for 35 minutes. He was the bug guy, and the bug guy came over using the good stuff with a tin can of death. And you. That's all you'd hear around the house. Like, hey, Bucky, put a mask on, okay? And he would go through the house making that weird noise, just shooting stuff all over the place. All right, get the dogs up, drive around for a little bit. Come back here in about 45 minutes. Place is toxic.

[Brady]

One day, young John Holmberg patted himself and sprayed Grandpa in the garden.

[John Holmberg]

Fine by me. I would have killed with it. It was amazing. It was an amazing thing. We never saw a scorpion. Lived in three different houses in this city. Never saw a scorpion.

[Brett Vesely]

And nobody saw Bucky again.

[John Holmberg]

And Bucky. Bucky was, like, 22. He looked like he was about 69 years old. And, you know, as a teenage boy, he'd go to my room and he'd go, you gotta get all these clothes off the floor. I'm like, why? I can't risk it. So I'd put all the clothes on the bed. He'd walk around the thing just making that weird noise and constantly keeping the spray going. And Bucky wasn't one of those dudes that just did your corners, like these modern bug guys. Bucky came in and hosed off your carpet like he was washing. I gotta go get another can. Get a big house. All right? Come back with another, like a fire extinguisher of doom. Then they passed all those laws, liberals can't kill bugs for that stuff anymore. You gotta pay extra now. A guy comes by, squirts the corners of your house, your woodwork goes around lamps, maybe.

[Brady]

You can lick it up if you want.

[John Holmberg]

I miss the old days when you had like a garden hose with a big fan on it. And go outside and see that guy just poisoning the air. Everything, all of it. All of it. Never saw one. Moved to the house I got here. People who lived there before me had a bug guy that I kept for a little while. You know what he did? He had pellets and he would search your backyard for their homes. He was a green bug guy. I don't use chemicals. Well, then we're going to have bugs. No, my method works. It just takes longer. Moved into that house, it was God damn Vietnam. My house glowed in the dark at night like it was a nightclub. If you put a black light on my house, people would show up and start dancing like, this is the best club in town. There were scorpions everywhere.

[Brady]

You would dread when the sun wouldn't go down.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, I put a boxing glove on, grabbed a pair of scissors and had a black light in my mouth. And I'd go out to the wall and I'd see them and I'd clip their tails off and punch them. And I got to 60 one night before we wore myself out. It was awful.

[Brett Vesely]

Punched out.

[John Holmberg]

I was punched out. It was fun. I got tired of throwing diatomaceous earth all over my house. I looked like I lived in a powdered donut for a year. And then I went over the guy with the pellets. I'm like, hey, not for nothing, but your earthways aren't working out. They're not working out at all. I got ants. I got roaches. Ants and roaches are beneficial to the environment. Why are you a bug guy? Why did you get into this business? To keep bugs alive.

[Brett Vesely]

You had Bucky on one side and Twinkie on the other side. What are you doing?

[John Holmberg]

Meanwhile, I had Bucky. You might as well have been the Arnold Schwarzenegger of terminators.

[Kato Kaelin]

Hello. I'm here to kill everything in your house.

[John Holmberg]

And he's hose this guy's little tiny baby pellets. He's laying on the ground digging little holes with his hand and dropping pellets in. It stops their egg production, so we're slow burning them. Kill them now. I don't want to kill them. I want them to. You're neutering them? Yes. I'm taking away their ability to procreate. Well, I would rather they just died. I have a heart. Really? You're sterilizing the bugs in my backyard? And that's what. I have a heart too. You know, these sterile bugs that come into my house get stomped out. Right? Did I tell you that part? I don't take them back to little homes so they can have more sterilization pills.

[Brady]

That'll be $300.

[John Holmberg]

And it was. That's the other thing. He was pricey. He'd lay out in the backyard for hours. I literally see this guy laying on his tummy. My backyard's huge. Digging around a little like underneath ole Anderson. Just putting things down and then covering it back up. I'm like, stop it. No way this is working.

[Brett Vesely]

This at your new house?

[John Holmberg]

Like the one that was. He was new. Well, he was new to me.

[Brett Vesely]

He got rid of him right away.

[John Holmberg]

He was new to me. And then. Yeah, and then the scorpions were. And I showed him pictures once. I'm like, look, this is my back wall at night. That's a. That's a lot of. You know they'll leave you alone if you leave them alone. Well, that means I can't go outside. So basically they own the backyard because that's me leaving them alone.

[Brady]

What is your business paying no rent around here?

[John Holmberg]

What do you do for a living if not get rid of the bugs? See, I sterilize them. I don't want a bunch of sterile bugs. Cause that just makes them angry 50 year old women.

[Brady]

Whatever you're doing, the population is increasing.

[John Holmberg]

I said, let's go next door. I want to introduce you to a lady named Evie. She's 70. She can't have kids anymore. This is not the type of bug I want in my backyard. She's bitter. She never had kids. No one loved her. You're making that happen on scorpion wall there where you got a bunch of bitches who. I can't make babies. The only reason they're alive. A sterile scorpion is probably an angry, bitter bitch of a scorpion. It's going to sting me faster. Fired him. Hired this company from asu, seal out scorpions. Dude shows up and breaks out a book. There's a poison we could use. I don't know if your neighbors are gonna be happy about it. Use it. If the neighbors are involved somehow, you're doing something awesome. All right. And the dude comes by, seals up all my doors. He's looking around my house like he was awesome. Goes in the backyard. Just hear this machine. And it's raining death. No more. Occasionally I'LL see a skull, Agent Orange in the backyard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Little Viet Cong guys popped out of my yard.

[Kato Kaelin]

Enough war over.

[John Holmberg]

It was great.

[Brady]

You have tunnels?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, we have. And the best thing and the reason he said my neighbors wouldn't be happy with it is because he cut off their line. He goes, you got a pheromone based animal here. They smell out the other scorpions and that means to them there's food over there. So he said, you got to stop their trail. They're coming in from somewhere else. And they just keep coming until you cut that off. We can kill them all till we find out where they're coming from and they'll show up. Sure enough, he cuts it off. I'm riding my bike one day, I see my two houses down in a tent with a scorpion company in front. And I said, I'm the new guy over there. See, I'm in trouble with scorpions because I want to see what he was doing. He goes, no, we've never seen one before. But all of a sudden this whole place is just loaded up with scorpions. I'm like, how about that? And I rode away going, we did it. We diverted. They're now going over there. And I was fine with that. Don't see him hardly at all anymore. Knock on wood. Seaton 1 in the toilet a couple months ago, it was a little bit off putting. He was still swimming around. They're pricks. But lady took it back from Mexico, learned that lesson. We deported him. He's gone. But yeah, they took a Boston ems and I don't know that they experience that too often in Boston. Our lady reaches down, gets stung by a scorpion. So I'm assuming there was a lot of the word wicked was used quite a bit. They're horrifying, those little bastards. Horrifying. If you want to go to the Suns game tonight, I've been told that there's $6 tickets available on Ticketmaster. The service fee is 8 bucks. Ian Schwartz from Channel 3, just text me that Mercury plane. Huh?

[Brett Vesely]

Mercury playing tonight. Mercury.

[John Holmberg]

Get real money.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, wow.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's the Clippers and the Suns and a six dollar ticket if you're interested. Sitting in the upper deck now. Again, I just interested in sitting in the upper deck. Yeah, it's a little stabby up there. I mean it's gonna be six dollars for the ticket, eight for service charges. They sell the two dollar hot dogs. It's gonna be about 400 for the ER visit from sitting up there when he gets stabbed. Hberg's morning sickness.

[Brett Vesely]

You get a bogo when you get up there for your yard.

[John Holmberg]

Oh. If you go to. You buy season tickets in the upper deck. When they stop laughing at you for doing that, they'll give you a. Like a punch card to the St. Joe's because you're going to be there at least four times a dozen stitches.

[Brady]

For the price of six.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. You get half offs and then ispia did a $2 special on like, you know, five or less stitches is only two bucks. A small stitching. Indians, you guys get it for free. I don't even know if you guys go to the hospital for stitches anymore. Seems like every time I talk to a Native American there, they just got their stitches out or just got them in. I got stitches from what fell down. Oh, I'm not gonna ask. I have an idea. Pretty sure I know what happened here. It's true. And I'm. I'm actually quite excited about. Well, we're gonna end early. I'm gonna get that Bray report going because I think eight or around for someone.

[Brady]

Yeah, he just said he's up. He goes, is the show today?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's today. He's up. Yeah. Brady spent the time with him last night and then that you hung out with him and a buddy had dinner and stuff and so he's been here for a day. Very interesting. Strange. And again, reading all my emails, people are back and forth on the whole thing. It's very good. I'm excited about it. So we'll get that going. We'll start early because I've got. This is more of. Again, this is more for me than anyone else. This is me. And plus he's got a. Cato's got a podcast with former Channel 12 sports anchor Tom Zenner where they talk about murders. Yep. So he's made it, you know, lemons out of bloody, bloody lemonade, which is crazy. What do you got on the big board of musical treats over there? Brett?

[Brett Vesely]

Wake up. Saw brought to you by Action Ride Shop, of course, with two locations now, one over there, the brand new one on power Road and McDowell. So wanna get your bike on up there at Hawes. That is the place to go. And of course we got the OG right there on Gilbert Road and Southern for all your biking and snow needs. ActionRideshop.com is where you need to go on the list. Offspring just announced the summer tour, so they're on the list. Revolting cocks are up there. Metallica for Jason Newstead's birthday. Cuts like a knife From Brian Adams for O.J. slipknot. Dead memories. That could go as well. Ghost Inside Danzig Misfits. Hell, yeah. Blood for blood for OJ And Cato coming in today. Anthrax Ministry. Just one fix for your bug guy.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. Bug guy. Bucky. Bucky's. No way. No way Bucky's still alive. No way, no way. And Bucky did my house. My old house. Brought him along over there. Then he retired, and his son showed up, and I thought it was Bucky. His son shows up. I'm like, you grew up in Bucky's world, so you look like you're 70. Also. I didn't know Bucky had, like, grandkids, but I love Bucky also. Is it Mardi Gras today? Today is Mardi Gras, right? Yeah. They're going to drop off those dirty pies that they always. Somebody always brings us the donuts. Yeah, there's powdered donuts, but they act like there's something special.

[Brett Vesely]

The beads.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And beads. Is that still a thing? Yep. They still show their cans that didn't get.

[Brett Vesely]

How did. That is now the Trump's back in there. Goddamn right.

[Kato Kaelin]

And America great again.

[Brett Vesely]

Yep.

[Kato Kaelin]

Biden tried to stop it. I put her right back in there. I signed papers.

[Brett Vesely]

Bring out the cans.

[Kato Kaelin]

Right there in New Orleans on the Gulf of America.

[Brett Vesely]

Executive order for cans.

[Kato Kaelin]

An executive order that if you have beads, Mardi Gras or not, cans. And you know what? Be respectful, or I'll take away all your funding, say thank you for cans. But, yeah, I'm.

[John Holmberg]

How did. How did Mardi Gras escape all of the, you know, all the scrutiny over the last however many years? Mardi Gras kind of skated by as being the sex romp, dirty boob machine that it is. I've never been. I don't want to go there. It looks gross. Like, I'll take the videos of the cans, because most of the time, they've edited out the bad ones. You got to remember, the people only show you the Mardi Gras cans that are good. Do you know how many bad cans get shown at Mardi Gras? 90%. 90% of flapjacks or pancake Areola. You got the big, you know, fried eggs.

[Brady]

You get a good variety.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you don't get. You don't get a good variety.

[Brady]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

You get a variety for sure. But it is a. From what I hear, I don't want to go and put.

[Brady]

What I've seen.

[John Holmberg]

It's Sturgis. I don't want to go To Sturgis. You see all those hot chicks? No, no, no.

[Brady]

They're more leathery.

[John Holmberg]

At Sturgis, you don't. Yeah, there's. The tan factor is a little higher. It's creole down there, but it's mostly tourists. I don't. I only see the pictures online at Sturgis of the extraordinary few. And people seem to think that's all that's going on there. I know what's going on at Sturgis. Mardi Gras is the same thing. You see the girl up on the balcony. You know why she's on the balcony? She don't want to be down there with the unwashed masses. She got a place up high to look down. Her cans are great, and somebody paid some money and put her in a good spot to look down.

[Brett Vesely]

Flapjacks are on the floor to look down on you.

[John Holmberg]

The ones that are getting the beads on the street that have to lift their shirt from their knees and their nipples show first, then you see knees. That's happening more often than not. Don't fool yourself. Carnival down there in Brazil, everybody's like, oh, look at all the hot ass.

[Brett Vesely]

Nope, they don't look like Shakira.

[John Holmberg]

They don't. Just the ones we see. It's like the beginning of Miami Vice. Everybody thought, is that what Miami's like? Go to Miami? No, it's a lot of Cuban ladies in long dresses cooking on the sides of shopping carts, and their boobs are down to their. Their heels. Mardi Gras has never been something I've wanted to go to do. It looks. It looks like Times Square. Smaller with, you know, the beads and stuff. And that's why I've always thought that the bar, Fat Tuesday, it upset me more. More than anything else. Because if you're gonna do that, remember what was that place over in Scottsdale? They did that. They had to close. Now it's a Cajun house. And they built it to look like.

[Brady]

Yeah, kind of like. Because they have the balcony.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. But no one was allowed to show their boobs. I'm like, why did we build this? We took away the one thing, and it's Scottsdale. The one thing. Exactly. The only places that you want that to happen are Old Town. And I put the. It's Bourbon street without the boobs. I'm like, the only place in the world that this could make, like, an 80% factor of manufactured breasts pop out. And you said no. That was part of the business plan.

[Brett Vesely]

Hence why it's no longer the case.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Why it closed so we can drink here. Yeah. And we throw beads to the ladies. And what do they do? Oh, they're not allowed to show their boobs. I'm like, we're not coming back. We'll just go do this somewhere else. And I have to deal with that bead nonsense. Closed it. Put a roof over it, cover this thing up.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm just gonna do a green ghost. The hell with this, right?

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. I'll go to someplace else in Scottsdale that there's a better chance I'm gonna see boobs without you guys constantly reminding us we can't do it here. I was there for a concert once when it first opened. It was Cowboy Mouth.

[Brett Vesely]

I'm sorry, Jenny Shannon.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, exactly. And that was a problem. So Cowboy Mouth was a know nothing band that did nothing. And a guy I worked with loved them, so he drug them to town all the time. We went there, and a girl next to us got beads thrown to her by the band and immediately whipped him out and shook them. We were all removed. It was our show. The guy who put it together had to argue to stay. All of us had to go. And the girl was cute. She was a guest of another person. Oh, my God, that's awesome. I got paid. Like, we got to show were gone seconds. And I'm like, this is nothing like Bourbon street at all. No, I don't want any cowboy Mouth breath. Oh, this song pisses me off. And the drummer was the singer, and he was. It might as well have been a baseball mascot. He was so over the top. Stupid.

[Brett Vesely]

No, Phil Collins, I think.

[Brady]

I think a lot of spit flying.

[John Holmberg]

He went from this to being the son's gorilla because all he did was just clap and, like, do all these vaudevillian moves. He was a mug artist.

[Brett Vesely]

I remember a name. I don't remember these guys, though.

[John Holmberg]

You don't remember this? Good. I used to make fun of it at the station all the time. And they're just next big band. You'll be sorry. I'm like, this band will do nothing. And Jenny says, will never be a hit. And we can play it a thousand times today. It will never be a hit.

[Brett Vesely]

I think I would argue with you on that.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Bone Mama was with me.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, really?

[John Holmberg]

My buddy Kevin. Kevin was the one who pushed Kevin and a guy named Paul Peterson.

[Brady]

You would have stayed if it was her top.

[John Holmberg]

Who?

[Brady]

You would have stayed if it was bone flashing for the beat.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, good Lord. Put the dude Mary McCann's cans. No criminal. Anyway, happy Mardi Gras, everybody. But let's call it what it is. 1% success rate at Mardi Gras. You are going to wake up. And chances of you waking up with a pig at Mardi Gras are grand. All that deep fright, you're gonna wake up with Brady and he's gonna be good. Beads all around, beads all around his neck. Powdered times two, powdered sugar all over his face. It's not cocaine, it's candy. And he's done. Yeah, you'd wake up with somebody shaped like. You'd be lucky to wake up next to a Brady at Marty Gr.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, I don't. I'm out.

[John Holmberg]

All that buttery food, fat people activities, and then the hot girls up on high looking down on the pigs, occasionally giving them a taste of what it.

[Brady]

Could be chunks of crawfish at to being shout on.

[John Holmberg]

Settle down, settle down. We don't need the whole menu. I know you're going to get excited and start breaking out all the food choices. I just gave two.

[Kato Kaelin]

That's it.

[John Holmberg]

We're good. All I did was mention gumbo. They got gumbo, crawfish, gumbo. Calm down. Just saying. The cans aren't going to be what you think they are. Yeah, sorry, Brett. Go ahead and give it to us. What do you want? You. I like. Cuts like a knife pretty good, but I don't necessarily want to hear. Brian.

[Brett Vesely]

How about Blood for Blood?

[John Holmberg]

Okay.

[Brett Vesely]

Hell yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Hell yeah. Blood for blood. All right, that's a good one. Keep that rolling. We will later, while Kato's here, have Kato and OJ in the same room together for maybe the first time since the incident. And then you guys can Q and A. So get your questions ready because that'll happen after we chat with Cato. And then OJ and Cato will team up and answer your question. Maybe we'll have them play a game together. They'll partner up and password. Yeah, that would be fun. Password with Cato and OJ and see if Cato can get any of them right. OJ's clues might be a little bit weird. Anyway, we got that all ready to go. Blood for Blood. Sangre por sangre. It's Hell yeah. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.