03-04-26 - BR - WED - Wondering What World Would Be Like If Men Got Periods - Man Gets Busted Driving High During His Drivers Test

Summary

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Holmberg's Morning Sickness (98KUPD) – Episode Summary

Broadcast Date: March 4, 2026
Episode Theme:
Humorous speculation on life if men had periods, menopause talk, wild driver antics, quirky news, and vintage male banter.

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Main Themes & Purpose

This episode of the long-running Arizona morning radio show delivers its trademark blend of irreverent humor, social commentary, and offbeat news. The central comedic speculation dwells on how society (and men) might act if men experienced periods or menopause. Other discussion points include odd facts, a news story of a driver caught high during his driver’s test, wellness spending, and the escalating oddness of the modern world. Hosts John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo bring unpredictable jokes and playful banter, mixing in listener mail and viral video commentary.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Aging, Self-Awareness & Generational Changes

• The show reflects on the surprising ages of celebrities in classic films, noting how people in previous generations seemed older at younger ages due to factors like lead gas.

  • “[Wilford] Brimley was like 49 during Cocoon. ... I think lead gas did a number on that generation because they did not age the same. Not at all.”
    — Brett (01:02)

2. Karen’s Complaint: Menopause & Gender Differences

• The hosts dissect a listener complaint from a woman named Karen upset over menopause jokes. In full “Holmberg’s” fashion, they riff on the stereotypes and challenges of menopause, then launch into a hilarious “what if” scenario about men getting periods and menopause.

  • “I don't know what that's like. ... I'm happy a lot. I'm a cynic, but I'm a happy one. I can't relate to you being normal and then suddenly open your eyes one day and you're sweating and it's 60 degrees, and then you're just mean to everybody for a decade.”
    — Holmberg (04:30)
  • “Imagine if dudes had menopause and we just came home and were mean for like eight years. Women, we’d… what would you tell each other? ... What an asshole. He’s not even trying to fix it.”
    — Brett (05:59)

Men Getting Periods – Social Satire (07:21–11:50)

• The crew imagines a society where men openly deal with periods, inventing “period pants,” and mocking the idea of machismo mixed with monthly struggles.

  • “Hey Ramon, what’s up, man? We got to get up on the roof and do some roofing. Oh, I see, you're on your period. You're in your period pants.”
    — Brett (07:21)
  • “It’s your first set of big boy pants.”
    — Co-host (08:34)
  • “There wouldn't even be an aisle for male care. We'd all just walk around one week out of the month with pants that are covered in blood… and we move on. We don't complain the whole time.”
    — Brett (07:21)
  • “It's not an excuse to be a butthole, Karen!”
    — Brett (11:51)

3. War as Entertainment & Media Satire

• Holmberg jokes about the blurring line between real war and media entertainment, referencing sensational headlines about submarine battles.

  • “Tonight on war. US Submarine sinks Iranian warship by torpedo. First time since World War II. ... Damn it, that's a headline right there.”
    — Brett (02:29)

4. Notable Listener Responses & Social Commentary

• Listeners chime in, including women who either found the menopause talk funny or felt singled out.
  • “Karen’s just a. It’s time to load up the IV and pat her on the head.”
    — Listener email read aloud (10:22)
• Commentary on how men would deal with overlapping menstrual cycles:
  • “Can you imagine if men sunk up like women? A job site would be a war zone.”
    — Gummo (10:13)

5. Weird News & Factoids

Bizarre Driving Test Arrest (20:38)

• A UK man is busted during his actual driving test for poor driving and testing positive for marijuana.
  • “He got popped during his driving test.”
    — Gummo (21:13)

The Real Cost of Women's Wellness (21:40)

• Discussion of how much women spend annually on wellness, with surprise at how low the reported number is.
  • “That's really low skin care. I spend $1,600 a year on skin care.”
    — Brett (22:02)

Fun Facts:

• First movie to have an official website: Stargate (1994) (17:33)
• Jeanette Rankin: The first woman elected to Congress, couldn't vote for herself (17:55)
• Larry King crashed into JFK’s car: “This is probably the worst thing that'll ever happen to me in a car.” (18:26)

Tech Intrusion

• An app now alerts you if someone nearby wears smart glasses (spycam concerns). (19:41)

6. Odd Trends & Viral Videos

Bone Broth Cocktails (23:00)

• The rise of “bone broth” cocktails, including “bloody bowl” and “bullshot.”
  • “Bone broth has that same vibe. Like it's the dog food smell that you kind of are like, I shouldn't be attracted to this, but I am.”
    — Brett (23:50)
  • “There's a bar in New Orleans that's been serving the bloody bowl since 1950.”
    — Co-host (24:14)

Micro Arcade (26:05)

• Indian electronics enthusiast creates the world’s smallest arcade machine—one inch tall.

Viral Videos & Ridiculousness (27:08 onward)

• Hot air balloon rescue hitting a radio tower (27:45)
• Middle-Eastern practical jokes and “Jihad Bloopers” (31:16)
• A guy gets disarmed using restaurant tables (33:24)
• Creep caught attempting upskirt photos (34:51)
• “Spiritual” water gun attack that turns out to be a woman peeing (35:23)
• Reaction to shockingly bad dental care video (29:11)
• Lane-splitting motorcycle crash (30:00)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Men and Menstruation:
  "Wrap it up with some toilet paper, put on those big old asbestos pants, and everyone would understand. Zero excuses."
  — Brett (11:50)

• On a Crazy Viral Video:
  "Can someone put their nose in Brett's mouth and smell the puss? Oh, no."
  — Co-host (27:08)

• On Practical Jokes:
  "I like the Middle Easterners. Pound on each other. Tonight on War. Don't you find it hysterical? And the bloopers and the practical jokes and jihads."
  — Brett (32:31)

• Advice of the Day:
  "Don't kill your wife. That's advice I've been given since day one."
  — Brett (14:53)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Menopause/Karen Email & Men Getting Periods: 04:00 – 12:00
• History/Interesting Facts: 17:33 – 18:42
• Weird News: Driver High at Driving Test: 20:38 – 21:23
• Women's Wellness Spending: 21:40 – 22:27
• Bone Broth Cocktails Discussion: 23:00 – 24:39
• Teeth Abscess Saga: 24:54 – 26:05
• Viral Videos (Balloon Rescue, Arcade Machine, Dental Hygiene, Lane-Splitting Crash, Pranks): 27:08 – 36:06

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Tone & Language

The episode is a rapid-fire blend of sardonic wit and blue-collar humor, with a relatable, often self-deprecating, Arizona flavor. The hosts banter with familiar ease, riding the line between edgy and inviting, with plenty of asides, callbacks, and listener engagement.

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Final Thoughts

This outing of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness showcases the show’s winning formula: take the bizarre, the awkward, and the underbelly of daily life and roast it on air. If you enjoy insightful sarcasm, inventive hypotheticals (like “what if men had periods?”), and wild viral video recaps, this episode delivers relentlessly. The chemistry is strong, the digs are real, and the laughs are plentiful—even (or especially) when things get awkward.

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Transcript

[Host 1]

What's your Mount Rushmore podcast?

[Brett]

This episode. Our favorite cocktails. It would have never occurred to me prior to the Big Lebowski to say, can I get a White Russian? After watching that movie, I think I even said to Susan, I'm like, I want to have a White Russian now. So out of context to turn to your wife and say that once you know what? I want a White Russian. Yes. What did I do? Mail order bride. Get on the Internet and find one.

[Host 1]

What's your Mount Rushmore?

[Brett]

I don't know. Listen wherever you get.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Brett]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Still good, Judith. Right there. That thing's 26 years old. Suck on that. That's half the age of Mr. Miyagi. That screwed me up yesterday when I saw that really get you going. Is that Wilford Brimley was like 49 during Cocoon. I think he was 52 or 3 when he was pops on the natural. Oh, man, there's something in the food. I think lead gas did a number on that generation because they did not age the same. Not at all.

[Gummo]

How do you got to be the same age as Redford?

[Brett]

Or close to their natural? They were two years apart. Oh, something like that. They were like two or three years apart. If I remember right, this one says, hey, Holberg, come on. You're making up these complaint letters yourself. How else is it possible that someone named Karen in 2026 lacks the self awareness not to write the complaint letter or at least change your name? Dear Christ, tell me you made that up. Making all of us bitches sound insane. Signed Sexy Suzanne. Well, you're helping the cause there, Sexy Suzanne. I did not make that up. I wish I would have. In fact, all I did on that one was. Was that you that printed that one? I leaned back and grabbed it off the printer, Brett. If anybody made it up, it's Brett, because I had nothing to do.

[Gummo]

I can't write that good.

[Brett]

That's Poor English even saying that.

[Gummo]

There you go.

[Brett]

Me don't write that good. Sorry, Karen, but there is a little bit of self awareness that comes along with it. Oh, man. By the way, you know, I was complaining about that show war I'm watching, and I'm like, yeah, they better have a pretty good plot twist tonight or I think I'm gonna stop watching it. Well, they've do. Todd Morrow just said tonight's episode of war is going to be epic. Tonight on war. US Submarine sinks Iranian warship by torpedo. First time since World War II. A sub one one today. Ice. We haven't had a sub win since World War II. I'm watching. Come back in. You got footage of that? Damn it. Tonight on board. EXO has the con. War tonight at 7 on all major news outlets. Hey, if you tried. Poof. And then it goes into commercials and stuff like, oh, yeah, I forgot. It's all entertainment. They're all getting paid for this. My pillow. Anyway. Damn it, that's a headline right there. A sub sunken Iranian warship. And again, I go back to who's. Who's running the Iranian warships and telling them where to go. We got.

[Co-host]

You sunk, my battleship Trump.

[Brett]

Yesterday's like, we got rid of their air force. We got rid of their navy. We got rid of all their leaders. Like, who are we fighting now? I don't know. Somebody. He actually said that? Yeah, he kind of. He's like, I don't know. Who's 51st in charge? I'm like, I don't know.

[Co-host]

Get the oil.

[Brett]

But we'll find them, I think. I mean, if they're not careful, they're gonna get down to, like, they're gonna get rid of so many people that it will actually fall on Nancy Guthrie to be in charge. And then what? Now we gotta. That's how we're gonna find her. Find out she's 77th in charge in Iran. There she is. Get her. It's crazy, the word for 8 o'.

[Co-host]

Clock.

[Brett]

Because it's right on to look at this. 8.0.0.07. 8 o'. Clock. The word is anger. That's what that lady had, that menopausal woman. Anger. And Karen, I also have to remind you, as you wrote that terribly mean letter to me, as I stood by you, I said, I don't know what you're going through. I can't imagine how horrible it has to be to wake up one morning and just be a. For eight years. I don't know what that's like. It's got to be Awful. Can't relate. I can't relate to it. I'm happy a lot. I'm a cynic, but I'm a happy one. I can't relate to you being normal and then suddenly open your eyes one day and you're sweating and it's 60 degrees, and then you're just mean to everybody for a decade. I don't know what that is. I'm on your side. I don't want to hang out with you because you sound awful. But you have to. You know that if you listen to this show for a long time, you probably laughed at me making fun of some of those videos Brady has where I've said, just kill that. And some of the things that are. That Brett laughs at that are just terrible, that maybe Karen, you laughed at, but today was your day to feel it. Somebody on this show made fun of menopause. His name is Brady. There was no reason for it, but he did it. And it hit you right in the heart because you're dealing with it, and it's made you kind of an.

[Co-host]

Sorry. I shouldn't be laughing.

[Brett]

No, no, don't laugh at it. Don't. Karen's an unlikable for a decade, and she's. You're laughing at that wrong with you? I'm sorry, Karen. That was uncalled for.

[Co-host]

I read something.

[Brett]

Well, yeah, well. Oh, you were sidetracked by something actually hilarious over. You were just distracted. It had nothing to do with Karen waking up, being just an untamable shrew. No. Anyway, it's not my fault. Karen, I'd love to help you out. I know. If men had menopause, we. We also would take 10 years to have it as an excuse to be mean to people. That would work out fine for us. Imagine if dudes had menopause and we just came home and were mean for, like, eight years. Women, we'd. What would you tell each other? You'd all say, get out of there. What an asshole. He's not even trying to fix it.

[Host 1]

It'd be post.

[Co-host]

You'd be a loner.

[Brett]

Yeah. You'd be by yourself. No man could get away with that. My goddamn testosterone. Make me some dinner. I've had it. I'm hot. I'm hot now I'm cold.

[Host 1]

There'd be more Postinos than Starbucks.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. The ladies would be like, you got to get out of this. He's lost his mind, and he's not even trying to cover it up.

[Host 1]

Alcoholism rates in women would skyrocket.

[Brett]

Some of these ladies Sit around and go. It's my right to feel that way. I'm going through a chemical imbalance so I can be mean to you for a decade. Well, not all of you. Just you, Karen. That's who I'm talking to right now. You sound pretty awful.

[Host 1]

You were talking about those 20 year old influencers, that they deserve a 20 millionaire.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Host 1]

You know those guys, if they had to go through men opas, oh my God. In order to be there.

[Brett]

We did that. Yeah, if dudes had it like I've always said that if guys had periods, we wouldn't even. There wouldn't even be an aisle for male care. We'd all just walk around one week out of the month with pants that are covered in blood and every dude. Hey Ramon, what's up, man? We got to get up on the roof and do some roofing. Oh, I see her on your period. You're in your period pants. Yeah, man, it's heavy flow. And then we just gush out into those pants and we take those off and we put them in a special box at home and we wait another month to slap them back on.

[Host 1]

I was gonna say just don't drip on the tile.

[Brett]

Hey man, come on. Your period pants are full. You got to have the pack of period pants, player. Sorry guys, heavy floor.

[Gummo]

Got those knives, panties.

[Brett]

And they would be ugly.

[Co-host]

You run home to your dad on your first period.

[Brett]

Dad, Dad, I had my period. Be a man today. You were a man. I don't know why I'm using Mexican roofers as my example, but if there's any Mexican roofers named Karen, I'm sure I'll hear from you. You'll be a man. Now put your period pants on. And then your 13th birthday, everybody gets these weird asbestos thick ass pants that look like you're wearing a body cast. Bleed into these for five days.

[Co-host]

It's your first set of big boy pants. Yes.

[Brett]

And you know everyone else is going through it too, Ramon, so nobody wants to hear your about it. If you're not unique. Look it over there. That guy wearing his cast pants too. He's got his period. We deal with it and we move on. We don't complain the whole time.

[Co-host]

I'll never forget when Ramon came in

[Brett]

with white pants, sitting in sixth grade next to Stephanie Stahlnecker and they're both, hey, what's going on? Hey, hey, Mr. Rogers. And my pants are filled with blood. I think I am dying. No, no, no, no, my friend. You're a man today. But Stephanie has it Do.

[Co-host]

She's.

[Brett]

She's pissing blood everywhere. She is allowed to be a bitch about it. You, you have to trudge forward.

[Host 1]

Coach Zellner, can we wear dark pants this Friday for the game?

[Brett]

It'll be great. It's like, ah, the jets taking on the Steelers. You see out there, Aaron Rodgers is in perimenopause, but he's out. Boy, I tell you what he's after. He's out for the day with just cramps, sadness and a headache. He's got a lot of sadness. Filling in for him today is Mason Rudolph. Now he's, you might notice, doing his period pants this week for the. That's gonna be tough getting on. You think you can get around there? It's gonna be tougher, you know, lack of mobility, wearing period pants out there on the field. That's what we'd do. We'd be men. Wrap it up with some toilet paper, put on those big old asbestos pants and everyone would understand. Zero excuses. And that's what our dads would say. You're not unique. All of our dads would get a Mexican accent. You're not unique. A lot of people go through this. There's no reason to be an asshole about it. You're gonna feel bad. Be a man.

[Gummo]

Chris says. Can you imagine if men sunk up like women? A job site would be a war zone.

[Brett]

It's disgusting. Third week coming up and everybody's in their pants. This one says, as a dedicated listener and a woman of a certain age, I can tell you from experience that I went through Perry and regular Menop. I guess I'm a sociopath because it didn't bother me that much. And honestly my sex life was amazing. Speaking on behalf of all women, Karen's just a. It's time to load up the IV and pat her on the head. Well, now. Now your own are taking into the happy endings. I'm not for it. I found it hysterical. I'm not really for the euthanization of the menopausal woman except for a couple.

[Co-host]

It is fortunate that men don't go through that because we. I mean, imagine the. We'd have not as many buildings. I mean, everyone's cycled up the same. They're gonna be shut down for. I think we're not going.

[Host 1]

I think we'd go into hyperdrive.

[Brett]

I think we too. I think we'd be better we just suck it up, be a man. Because our dad's with that Mexican, strong Mexican man. That becomes a month. You don't have an excuse to take a week off to be an be a man. Take your period like the rest of us.

[Host 1]

You think I made foreman by I'm.

[Brett]

Yeah. And the way I'm having my. By the way your dad. Your father is on his period and no one would know. Why do you think they make dicky so big? A little extra room. Little extra room for all the blood. And then guys would have a game like on period week where I'd walk up to Brady and smack it and see if I could make a splash.

[Co-host]

Like cup check.

[Brett]

Like cup checking period check. Player, you're gonna need a sponge. But it wouldn't be an excuse for us because you know why? Women would be right to be really angry at us if we used it as an excuse to be mean. Came home and you're like I want to punch you square in the mouth. Shut up and make my dinner. I'm not tolerating this. And you'd be right. It's not an excuse to be a butthole. Karen on the one sickness magnetic UPD

[Host 1]

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[Brett]

Homeburg's morning sickness. Anyway, you're gonna ruin it. And tonight I'm looking forward to going home and watching war. We got submarine battles. Come on. We thought those days were over.

[Co-host]

Didn't we?

[Brett]

Submarine battles. My grandpa was on.

[Co-host]

What if they put a GoPro on the torpedo?

[Brett]

Oh, God. Oh, crap. I'm glad I'm in my period pants. My grandpa was on the Queen Elizabeth or the Queen Mary and floating around in the Atlantic running ammunitions back and forth from North Africa to England, and it would take them forever because they would zigzag because of the U boats. He's like, we had to worry about submarines. And I'm like, man, I'm never going to say that in my life. Never going to say that phrase. My grandfather, I sat in a room watching, you know, Carlton Fisk and Ron Kittle during White Sox games, would go, and every time I had to time it. And then that boat I had to worry about U boats. Tell me, what's that? Submarines. German crowd subs. They tried to take us out. We had passengers on the boat because it was illegal to shoot down passengers. We'd hide in there. And I'm like, what are you. And then he'd talk about how he lived in fear of submarines for a while. Jesus. I know. I never had that.

[Co-host]

Holmberg.

[Host 1]

My wife's 49. I want to watch war tonight. But now your gynecologist has me thinking I might kill her.

[Brett]

Don't kill your wife. That's advice I've been given since day one. I've been super consistent about that. Don't kill your wife.

[Host 1]

Not while watching war.

[Brett]

No, when war's on, just focus on the TV and then, you know, pause it. Every once in a while. She's like, did I tell you what. What Sarah said today at work? Which one's Sarah? Oh, you've met her like nine times. She's Ron's. She's Ron's wife. You golfed with Ron. Which one's Ron? Oh. Anyway, so we went to the store and there was this wicker basket we both like. We thought, oh, my God, the puppies were the good in there. What does that. What does this have to do with what you said at work? Just listen to me. Anyway, anger is the word for 8 o' clock this morning. It's time now for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report and it's brought to you by our friends at. Oh, you get that shade up there. Today's the day, right? It's perfect. 80 degrees. You shade up that house, all pro. Shade's gonna get you covered up. You get it out there and get those guys come up free estimates, free installation, all pro Shade's gonna get you all covered. This guy just says KDKB's less gay right now.

[Co-host]

And he.

[Brett]

Bottom one. What did it say? I can't read that. I don't know what I'm saying. Chingay to Pooty Madre. You got a problem with a roofer named Karen? I don't know what you said in that beginning. There they chingay to pute madre, but it looks bad to me. It's gotta be something about.

[Host 1]

I'm gonna Google Translate that.

[Brett]

Mother Mountain. I don't know.

[Host 1]

Something like that.

[Brett]

Yeah. Anyway, all pro. Shade. They'll get you all covered up. Sit outside in your period pants and enjoy the sunset. Beautiful. Allprochade.com Brady reported.

[Co-host]

Good Wednesday morning to you, Phoenix.

[Brett]

Hello, world. Hi.

[Co-host]

Happy National Son's Day.

[Brett]

The Phoenix Sun.

[Co-host]

Nope.

[Brett]

S O N S O N S. Okay.

[Co-host]

Molding our sons into responsible men can either be a perilous journey or an opportunity to grow as a human being.

[Brett]

Yeah. Well, you go take care of that boy.

[Gummo]

You're the only one in here with

[Brett]

a son and nobody's going to call you.

[Host 1]

No.

[Brett]

So you got to call him.

[Co-host]

So March 4th and September 28th. Toledo or Son's Day. It's also.

[Host 1]

Wait, wait, there's two.

[Gummo]

But then your calendar. Jesus.

[Co-host]

It's also National Hug. A GI Day. Gastroenterologist. You can try that. Couple of basis fun facts. The first movie to have an official website was a 1994 Stargate.

[Brett]

Really? What's Stargate? Why do I know?

[Co-host]

With Kurt Russell and James Spader.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah, all right.

[Gummo]

I remember that one.

[Brett]

I don't remember that one either.

[Co-host]

Did that put up the Stargate?

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. You don't need to explain it. We did. Nobody saw it for a reason, Brady. You're not going to sell it now.

[Co-host]

Jeanette Rankin from Montana was the first woman elected to Congress. She didn't even vote for herself. She was elected 1916, four years before

[Brett]

women, because she wasn't allowed to vote for herself.

[Gummo]

The good old days.

[Brett]

Yeah. When this country meant something.

[Co-host]

Larry King once got into a car accident with jfk.

[Brett]

The real one?

[Co-host]

Yep. When JFK was a senator, Kane crashed into his car.

[Brett]

Oh, my God.

[Co-host]

JFK told him it's fine. He wouldn't report it as long as he voted for him.

[Brett]

When he ran for president, JFK threw his PAT line at. This is probably the worst thing it'll ever happen to me in a car. Larry's like, man, well, I'm sorry about that.

[Co-host]

And he was like, remember I Was the only one in the car.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Co-host]

There was no one else.

[Brett]

I would like to implore you to tell the tale that I was driving solo. There's a clearly a lady in the car with you there. I don't see anyone and neither do you. I was getting my head blown off in that car.

[Co-host]

A new study looked at how well plants can clean air indoors. And the answer is, basically doesn't make a difference. To match what a half decent ventilation system does, you need to have at least one plant for every square foot of space. So if you have a thousand square foot place, you need a thousand plants.

[Brett]

Yeah, I'm good.

[Co-host]

And that's even on the low end. But they said still good to have plants in the house.

[Brett]

Sure. Karen and I'll calm you down a little bit. Get some. Get a rhododendron.

[Co-host]

There's a new app that alerts you if someone nearby is wearing smart glasses. And it can be useful because many smart glasses contain cameras.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Co-host]

But now gives you a heads up.

[Brett]

I got mine. Gives you a heads up for what?

[Co-host]

To let you know if the person.

[Brett]

Oh, someone's got them on. Yeah. You can tell there's their camera on.

[Co-host]

Their glass app is called Nearby Glasses.

[Brett]

You can't tell. I'm in smart glasses right now. There's a goddamn camera on it. Like you got lights and then it

[Co-host]

lights up, doesn't it?

[Brett]

But you can filming it, I guess.

[Co-host]

Can't you put the light out? I suppose like people put a thing over the light.

[Brett]

I think you're covering up a lot with that though. Yeah. Nobody's up to no good with their smart glasses with you.

[Co-host]

As it gets more advanced, it won't be as obvious that they're.

[Brett]

What are you, Jason Bourne? What are you worried about? Nobody's stealing your ideas.

[Co-host]

There's a dude in the UK who stopped by police when they noticed he had a defective brake light. They also said it caught their attention due to poor driving. While they were speaking to the driver, they smelled marijuana. So they conducted a drug test. The guy failed. They also found cannabis on him. So he's basically caught red handed. The driver was 26 years old and he wasn't fully licensed. In fact, he was taking his driving test.

[Gummo]

Well, he got popped during his driving test.

[Brett]

Oh my God.

[Gummo]

What kind of instructor is that sitting in the passenger seat?

[Co-host]

The driving test.

[Brett]

Awesome. Yeah, I got this, bro. Give me the keys.

[Gummo]

Got Otis the drunk from Andy Griffith sitting in the passenger seat or what?

[Co-host]

Yeah, just sleep it off.

[Brett]

Come on. Quit hitting those speed Bumps like that, man, I'm a mess.

[Co-host]

According to a report, the average woman spends sixteen hundred dollars per year on wellness.

[Brett]

That's low.

[Co-host]

That's low. I agree. That includes everything from doctor's visits, prescriptions to undergarments, hygiene products, vitamins, skin care. That's way low.

[Brett]

That's really low skin care. I spend $1,600 a year on skin care.

[Co-host]

More than half the women say they struggle to afford their wellness needs. Nearly one in three. Nearly. Actually three quarters, 75% say they. They're concerned about the cost of prescriptions and doctor's visits.

[Brett]

Everybody's concerned about something. Micah says. Man, national son's day. I wish I could be there to witness the false hope in Toledo's eyes every time that phone of his d when his national dads who went to home depot never came back. Day gotta be coming up soon. Do you call Alex today and say, hey, national sun's day?

[Host 1]

To be honest with you, this is the first day I think I've never heard about.

[Brett]

Yeah, me too. Are you gonna now make the call?

[Host 1]

I'll have to. Yeah.

[Brett]

Give him 75 bucks for some plan B and pat on the head. Nice job, little shaver.

[Co-host]

Food and wine says bone broth cocktails are having a moment right now. They're popular.

[Brett]

I went through a bone broth phase. It's pretty good. Until bloody bowl. Yeah, it's pretty good. It tastes like if for people who like rare meat like me, there's a bone broth thing that has kind of a vile rare meat taste that but it gets.

[Host 1]

Is that with all of them like chicken.

[Co-host]

Well, chicken bone. They said similar. I mean they just said it's kind of savory. It makes a richness to the alcohol.

[Host 1]

That's marrow in it, right.

[Brett]

It's. It's got a. There's something to. It's almost like the way.

[Gummo]

Because they boil it right. Isn't that how to get it? When you smell there would be marrow on it.

[Brett]

Good dog food. And you're like, man, I might eat that. You know, like some of the stuff you look at, you're like, this is pretty high end.

[Gummo]

You're talking like the farmers.

[Brett]

Farmers ones that are meaty.

[Gummo]

Yeah, Purina.

[Brett]

That might taste okay. Bone broth has that same vibe. Like it's the dog food smell that you kind of are like, I shouldn't be appeal. I shouldn't be attracted to this, but I am.

[Co-host]

The bullshot is basically just bone broth and vodka.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Co-host]

The bloody bowl is bloody Mary with a little Bone broth mixed.

[Gummo]

That sounds good. Actually.

[Brett]

That actually would be phenomenal. I might actually try and it's not like it's new.

[Co-host]

There's a bar in New Orleans that's been serving the bloody bowl since 1950.

[Brett]

Yeah, I. That Bloody Mary with some bone broth and it's pretty good. I like that because they put burgers on Bloody Mary's now like a sliders. Have your. Have the lady bring us some Bloody Marys and.

[Gummo]

Oh, she's got to kill her Bloody

[Brett]

Marys out there, add a little bone broth and put her to work. Get her down here. Hol's morning sickness.

[Host 1]

Hey, hey, hey. I forgot. How's gummo today?

[Brett]

Gummo's not good. Are you Gummo?

[Co-host]

Did you get your pain?

[Gummo]

I did last night. It. I had a nice little leak.

[Brett]

Oh, you've. Your abscess blew up, but it came

[Gummo]

back up and it sealed again. I'm like, you son of a.

[Brett]

But yesterday it opened.

[Gummo]

Yeah.

[Brett]

What's it taste like?

[Co-host]

Just mint.

[Gummo]

Vile. Just nasty. I can't say it on the air, but.

[Host 1]

So was the relief though, when that happened?

[Brett]

It was.

[Gummo]

And then it came back overnight again.

[Brett]

I'm like, well, yeah, it's an infection, so it's going to keep swelling up as you can open it and drain it. And that fl. It's, it's. It's so bad.

[Host 1]

Wait, what does the dentist do for it then?

[Gummo]

Nothing. Yesterday I just had to get. I got to go and get it extracted.

[Co-host]

Oh my God.

[Gummo]

And I go for my consultation.

[Co-host]

Explain pain.

[Host 1]

You gotta wait another week.

[Gummo]

The other, the other one I was gonna go to, they. They couldn't get me in for a consultation till the 26th. I'm like, I can't do this for three weeks.

[Brett]

Yeah, man. For those who just tuning in, Brett's been eating rocks and chocolate for the last year and a half.

[Gummo]

We're living on like Jamba Juice now and stuff.

[Brett]

I told you not to lick that sugar cube so much, but you didn't listen.

[Co-host]

This 24 year old electronics enthusiast in India has constructed the world's smallest arcade machine.

[Brett]

All right?

[Co-host]

It's basically an inch tall.

[Brett]

Don't tell Kyler Murray about it.

[Co-host]

And it runs Space Invaders. Basically an inch tall.

[Brett]

One inch Space Invader. How do you know you're even playing

[Co-host]

it half inch wide? There's four.

[Brett]

That's like me. That's like me saying I made an invisible Space Invaders. No one knows if it's actually playing.

[Co-host]

He said he came up with the idea during COVID It's like Wonder woman's plane.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Gummo]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Prove it.

[Gummo]

Maybe it's there.

[Brett]

You see her floating around by herself.

[Co-host]

They put a picture up of it.

[Brett]

It's because chips are that small now. Is basically what the point of that is. That you can actually get a full game inside a one inch machine. Crazy.

[Co-host]

I got a couple of radio videos. Oops. Stretch. Okay, well. Oh, the first one will take this.

[Brett]

Good. We'll stretch with this. Can someone put their nose in Brett's mouth and smell the puss? Oh, no. Bring it on over. Brett, that's you. Open your mouth and let me smell in there. Come here. No.

[Co-host]

Smell of death.

[Brett]

Let me put the Junos in your. In your mouth.

[Gummo]

No, you can reach from there.

[Brett]

You son of a. He turned it on me. He turned it on me.

[Host 1]

Yourself up for that one?

[Brett]

God damn it. I hope your teeth fall out. They kind of are. You got any gold ones?

[Gummo]

Any gold ones?

[Brett]

Yeah, me and my people are interested.

[Co-host]

I have one for Brett to a video. The second one. First one's a. A balloon rescue that ran into a radio tower.

[Brett]

Like a hot air balloon?

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Oh, no.

[Co-host]

I'm like, how tall is this radio antenna?

[Brett]

It goes up. Are scary. There's a bad movie, and I don't remember what it's called where two girls.

[Gummo]

It's going straight down, though.

[Brett]

What are you talking about?

[Gummo]

The radio tower. Isn't it collapsing there?

[Co-host]

No, they're elevating it.

[Brett]

Oh, okay. All right. Oh, you're thinking.

[Gummo]

Yeah. I was like, come on.

[Co-host]

And there's guys that are.

[Brett]

Gummel's on a lot of meds right now.

[Gummo]

Not enough.

[Brett]

Because as the. As the drone goes up, it looks to like to people on drugs that the tower's caving. There's a movie called. I don't remember what it's called, but these two girls climb a radio tower and they get stuck on top of it. And it is horrifying. But the movie's not very good. But there's some stuff in there that'll make you cringe.

[Co-host]

So they get the one person over the dude in the.

[Gummo]

Wow.

[Co-host]

One left in the basket.

[Brett]

I think this is why hot air ballooning is not worth it. There's too much trouble up up there with to just. We're just going to float around with no control. You in? Yeah. 95 bucks, please. Like I got to pay you for this.

[Co-host]

Look at that.

[Gummo]

Apparently the movie's called the fall.

[Brett]

The fall. Is that it?

[Gummo]

That's what this guy just said. So.

[Brett]

Yeah, maybe that's it. I don't remember the name of it, but it's two kind of hot girls, and they go up on this tower and they get stuck, and they're way up there, and it keeps having. If you have fear of heights, they do these shots and you're just like, oh, here's my God, it's Brett.

[Co-host]

Next Wednesday.

[Brett]

Looking inside of this mouth is brutal. There's maggots. They're scraping. You're on an algorithm now. This is two days in a row. I know.

[Co-host]

I. I had to.

[Brett]

Or we've got. I got a concrete tartar all around this and all. And you know what? The cleanup after is not much better.

[Co-host]

It's a quarry.

[Brett]

Yeah. This dude's teeth are at war. They're fighting each other. It's a Cory. Huh?

[Co-host]

Looks like he's chipping away.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. When they're chipping at the marble, he's a Corey Quarry. Quarry.

[Commercial Announcer]

That's what he said.

[Brett]

I speak Brady.

[Host 1]

How does Thriller get into this?

[Brett]

You did kind of say Corey, but I speak Brady, so I knew what he was talking about.

[Co-host]

Thank God you did.

[Brett]

A quarry? Yes. Not Thriller. Poor Thriller has not. Thriller has good teeth. Oh, this is going to be Gummoe's weekend.

[Co-host]

Next one's what everyone thinks about when the. The lane splitters and motorcycles. Boy, man, I don't know how they blaze through there.

[Host 1]

Is this here?

[Brett]

Is there sound on there? Oh, my God.

[Gummo]

Oh.

[Brett]

Elaine splits, bumps a car, and then goes right into the ass end of a Honda. Sell your bike. I love motorcycles. I think they're fun. But we need more people like Brett in this world. And eventually he's going to go smashing in the back. Wow. Stop splitting lanes, please. They're making all the rules to try to kill you. You guys think it's to your benefit. I think it's some conspiracy to kill motorcyclists. That lane splitting thing is not good for anyone. Oh, and I know you guys. I know you guys, like, know we're supposed to pay attention. You're hard to see.

[Host 1]

Well, I think you ride in groups mostly, right?

[Gummo]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Yeah, mostly this solo stuff.

[Co-host]

Oh.

[Brett]

Lane splitting is.

[Gummo]

Well, he shouldn't be splitting that fast anyway, Right?

[Brett]

Well, that's. In California. They go the speed limit on the freeway, splitting lanes.

[Gummo]

California. Like, I've. I've done it there once, and they actually. In California, I think it's because they've been doing it so long. They're so used to it. Cars actually kind of move over.

[Brett]

Not me. I always forget about it. And then you go to make a lane change.

[Gummo]

Well, there's that. Oh, but those dudes are just going too fast.

[Brett]

Yeah, you know, lane splitting. Oh,

[Co-host]

last one's Middle Eastern prank.

[Brett]

Oh, I love that show.

[Co-host]

Yeah, it's the this week on war.

[Brett]

Oh, man. It's Light of war called TV's funniest practical jokes. Bloopers and Jihads, I think. Yeah, here we go. Oh, it's a guy pounding two trash can lids together.

[Co-host]

Now let's dad try.

[Host 1]

Those are dinner plates.

[Brett]

So he's banging it overhead and under his head, and the guy's bobbing up and down like he's a bj, and the guy just keeps hitting him in the head. The joke was.

[Co-host]

Try it again.

[Brett]

The joke was that he would try to miss him. And then the dad gets up and he just keeps pounding him in the head.

[Co-host]

Dense the lids.

[Brett]

I would like to try that. I would like to try that. I saw on the Internet yesterday, I saw a great practical joke that these guys had this rope swing, and one dude grabs the rope swing on the tree and he goes swinging out over the lake, and he comes back and it's like, yay. And then another guy runs over and he's real excited, and he reaches up and instead of giving him rope swing, they just give him a stick, and it's in his hands and his arms. And then he runs off the cliff and he's, like, waiting for it to pull and goes just face first. It just crushes him. It was hilarious.

[Co-host]

Oh, my God.

[Brett]

But I like the Middle Easterners. Pound on each other. Tonight on More. Don't you find it hysterical? And the bloopers and the practical jokes and jihads.

[Co-host]

The guy holding the lids was number 51.

[Brett]

He's next there. That guy's running Iran right now. What do you mean? I'm in charge of all of it. The president's still alive, but he was feckless. We need you to be a cleric.

[Host 1]

PD says, you know, one of the Kardashians is 51st.

[Brett]

Oh, my God. That could. Well, that was. They're. Yeah. What are they? They're Armenian. They're Armenian. That's.

[Host 1]

Oh, yeah.

[Co-host]

Different.

[Brett]

Maybe if it's over there. Maybe if you attacked. Yeah, it's one of them countries in the middle of the brown folk.

[Host 1]

You made us think about it, though.

[Brett]

The. If they bombed Glendale, California, because that's a high Armenian population. Kardashian probably like in the 50s. Anyway. All right, Gummo, what do you got?

[Gummo]

All right, a little light today. So we'll just start off with this one drunk guy with a knife walking down the street.

[Brett]

I've got a chair. He's got a knife, and he's wandering around threatening people. And some guy in a cafe just throws a table and chairs at him and hits him dead center. Oh, he's.

[Gummo]

Oh.

[Brett]

And then he hits him with another table on the hand.

[Host 1]

That's a good tactical blow.

[Brett]

Oh, he breaks his wrist with the bottom of a table and takes the knife from him. That's a great tactical black one.

[Co-host]

Table for one.

[Brett]

Oh, and he's not even trying to get into that restaurant. He's just walking by it.

[Gummo]

I think he was swinging it at him already.

[Brett]

Just shatters the guy's forearm and takes his knife. He used all of the restaurant equipment that Porkopolis didn't need anymore and just beat the hell out of a guy with a knife.

[Co-host]

The tables Bar Rachi doesn't need.

[Brett]

That's great.

[Host 1]

Did they take over your tables?

[Brett]

Yeah. Did you sell the tables to the. To the middle eastern goat people? That sounded bad. You know what I mean?

[Co-host]

They're. They're in there.

[Brett]

Wow.

[Gummo]

Same furniture.

[Brett]

That's what they are, is middle eastern.

[Co-host]

They might have changed up the table.

[Brett]

They sell goat.

[Co-host]

I can't remember. But we didn't take them with us.

[Brett]

Well, of course you did, so you sold them. I hope you just hand it over.

[Co-host]

No.

[Brett]

Yeah, you didn't see any of that,

[Co-host]

so you didn't sell it.

[Gummo]

You just left.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[Brett]

You just closed your eyes and walked away. Smart. All right, all right.

[Gummo]

Here's some scumbag looking up skirts.

[Brett]

We got a surveillance photo of a lady in a skirt walking through a drugstore. She gets up to the counter. Here comes a guy behind her, and he's got. He does a weird little move there, spinning. And suddenly he's on his knees underneath the skirt. He's just peeking up there. What's that? She kind of has an idea he did it. But did he take a picture? Yes, and that's what he was doing. Well, that's illegal. We shouldn't be looking at that. He snapped a photo. Yeah, just by looking up there.

[Gummo]

And here's a spiritual water gun attack. That's how this one's titled.

[Brett]

Okay, Water gun attack now. Oh, my God. It's a guy. He's holding his lady in the air with her legs open, and he's spraying her all over the bathroom.

[Co-host]

Oh, I thought someone else was spraying on her.

[Brett]

No, she's peeing, Brady. And he's aiming at it. That bathroom is ruined. She's peeing.

[Co-host]

She's going over the lens.

[Gummo]

It's a weekend at the El Cortez.

[Host 1]

I was just gonna say, think about that the next time you go to the Embassy Suites.

[Brett]

Well, Vegas is. The Embassy Suites is fine. He's right. El Cortez. Where the party starts. Oh, man. All right. Is that it?

[Co-host]

Yes.

[Brett]

All right. Nice job. The word for 8 o' clock is anger. A, N, G, E, R. Think of that lady who emailed earlier about how awful her life is. Now that she's going through menopause, she can't hear jokes about it. Her name's Karen, but that's beside the point. She's got no self awareness and menopause got to be a rough life. Anger is what she's dealing with. And that's the word you can put in the 8 o' clock hour on the app and on our website 98kupd.com and maybe you too can disappear to the sphere.

[Co-host]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fee.

[Brett]

I have heard enough of this.

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