03-04-26 - Kyler Murray To Be Released And His Goodbye Letter To Fans Is A Bit Passive Aggressive - Longtime Listener 36yo Gynecologist Emails In To Warn Men About Pre Menopause And Menopause

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness (03-04-26)

Episode Title: Kyler Murray To Be Released And His Goodbye Letter To Fans Is A Bit Passive Aggressive - Longtime Listener 36yo Gynecologist Emails In To Warn Men About Pre Menopause And Menopause
Date: March 4, 2026

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Main Theme Overview

This episode delivers Holmberg’s unique and irreverent perspective on two central topics:

1. The imminent release of Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kyler Murray, analyzing his controversial farewell message and legacy in Arizona.
2. A deep and (hilariously) candid discussion sparked by an email from a longtime listener and practicing gynecologist, warning men about the realities of menopause and perimenopause.

As usual, John Holmberg and crew mix sports commentary with personal anecdotes, salty humor, and vibrant listener interactions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kyler Murray’s Departure & Passive Aggressive Goodbye

• Kyler’s Goodbye Letter

  • Kyler Murray's exit from the Cardinals isn't technically official but is inevitable.
  • His farewell message is dissected as passive aggressive—pointing out the team’s 77-year “drought” and framing his own failure as the franchise's burden.
    • Quote: “I wanted nothing more than to be the one to end the 77 year drought for this organization. I’m sorry I failed us.” (03:30)
  • Holmberg: "That is such a move. That is a line that basically takes a swing at the Cardinals...like, I tried to be the one to change it. Even I couldn't do it. What a mess back there." (04:14)
  • Criticism focused on Murray’s lack of leadership, “bitch moves,” and the need for better PR guidance.

• Kyler’s Reputation & Value

  • The team’s historic dysfunction, unstable coaching, injuries, and lack of offensive line are acknowledged as factors limiting Murray’s success.
  • Holmberg repeatedly describes Murray as a “super athlete” with a “rocket pro arm,” but mentally “flawed.”
    • Quote: “A good coach can make something out of that. A good offensive line will change everything about Kyler Murray and he never had one.” (09:30)
  • Despite all, Holmberg would take a chance on Murray for the right price: “Would you have Kyler on your team? In a second." (08:42)

• Wider NFL and Organizational Dysfunction

  • The Cardinals, Bengals, Jets, Raiders, and Browns are ranked among the league’s "worst-run organizations."
    • Holmberg compares being a Bengals or Cardinals lifer to a “life sentence.” (12:22)
    • Discussion of Joe Burrow and Trey Hendrickson's possible unhappiness with the Bengals.

2. Listener Gynecologist's Menopause PSA

• The Email That Started It All (20:30)

  • Listener “Dr. Ben,” a Houston-based gynecologist, shares eye-opening insights about menopause and perimenopause, aiming to inform Holmberg’s mainly male audience.
  • Perimenopause can start as early as the late 30s and last 8–10 years before menopause even begins.
    • Quote from Dr. Ben: "If your wife complains about menopause symptoms and not just hot flashes, but behavioral issues...it's hormonal." (21:08)
    • His blunt advice: “If your wife sails through menopause, no issues at all, she’s a sociopath... There’s no winning here.”

• Comedic Deconstruction of Menopausal Suffering

  • The crew riff on the grim prospects for men with partners entering menopause—ranging from vaginal dryness to unpredictable mood swings.
    • Holmberg: “Vaginal dryness, no big deal... It’s the mood swings you gotta watch for men. Because, in my experience... those are her new personality. They never go back to normal.“ (22:03)
  • Running jokes about coping strategies—leaving, euthanasia analogies, and social stigmas.
    • “[Men want to know] as long as we know [the period] ruins vacations, that’s about it.” (26:12)
    • “[Dr. Ben said], run for your life. If she’s got mood... Yeah. Vaginal dryness...what man married for more than five years hasn’t dealt with that? She’s tired of you, you’re tired of her. Spit in your hand, get to work.” (24:05)
  • Hilarious, over-the-top skits follow about “putting down” menopausal wives as one would a pet—punctuated with mock sympathy for listener Karen, who emails in to protest the segment.

• Listener Responses & Comedic Aftermath

  • Several male and female listeners chime in—one woman claims “better living through chemistry” gave her a post-menopausal sex drive like a “30-year-old boy.” (40:18)
  • The crew speculate that those who pass easily through menopause may be “sociopaths.”
  • More jokes target “Karens” and the futility of complaining.

3. Memorable Moments & Quotes

• On Kyler Murray’s Parting Shot
  “He went bitch. He went personal...On your way out the door, you don’t point out it’s a flawed organ...” — Holmberg (04:29)
• On Kyler’s Untapped Potential
  “That dude’s the best athlete on the field... If somebody ever got hold of that athleticism and that arm…” (07:32)
• On Menopause According to a Gynecologist
  “If your wife sails through menopause with no issues, she’s a sociopath…They never go back to normal. Doesn’t go away.” — Email from Dr. Ben (22:03)
• Listener Reaction to Menopause Talk
  “You guys want to feel like absolute Mr. Miyagi? He was 52!” (33:43)
  • Discussion then shifts to how today’s 52-year-olds are perceived, using Mr. Miyagi as a pop culture comparator.

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Notable Segment Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | |:-------------:|:--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:55–03:09 | Death word contest, intro to Kyler Murray exit | | 03:09–08:53 | Holmberg reviews Murray’s letter and legacy, candid analysis of Cards’ failures | | 08:53–16:20 | Debate on Kyler’s future value, organizational comparisons (Bengals, Jets, etc.) | | 20:27–23:56 | Dr. Ben’s menopause PSA, crew riffs on men’s confusion and women’s suffering | | 23:56–32:25 | Sociological consequences, listener stories, jokes on divorce/euthanasia/aging | | 32:25–36:01 | Aging, post-menopausal sex, Mr. Miyagi’s age, more menopause jokes/responses | | 36:01–40:18 | Listener reactions, handling menopause, Karen's email, crew’s “apologies” |

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Tone & Style

• Fast-paced, irreverent, openly comedic:
  The hosts thrive on poking fun at sensitive topics (sports disappointment, aging, menopause) but balance it with genuinely informative bits and lively banter.
• Authentic Language:
  Quotes are left uncensored, matching the show’s raunchy, forthright style.

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Final Thoughts

This episode flawlessly mixes sports heartbreak (Kyler Murray’s drama) with real-life health issues—delivered in the show’s trademark outrageous, confrontational, and self-deprecating comedic style. The dialogue with listeners (especially Dr. Ben the gynecologist) kicks off a memorable conversation about life changes, aging, and marital survival that’s as informative as it is shockingly funny.

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For more outrageous Arizona mornings, tune in to Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD.

Transcript

[Podcast Host]

What's your Mount Rushmore podcast?

[John Holmberg]

This episode. Our favorite cocktails. It would have never occurred to me prior to the Big Lebowski to say, can I get a White Russian? After watching that movie, I think I even said to Susan, I'm like, I want to have a White Russian now. So out of context to turn to your wife and say that once, you know what? I want a White Russian. Yes. What did I do? Mail order bride. Get on the Internet and find one. What's your Mount Rushmore? I don't know. Listen wherever you get. Podcasts. Holmberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Yeah, yeah. Feeling good on a Wednesday. Thanks, Randy. The word for the six o' clock hour for you live listeners to the FM broadcast, not the podcast people, the word is death. D, E, A, T, H.

[Co-host]

Death.

[John Holmberg]

Death. Some guy emailed me, and he's right. Bruce is right. He said we had a. He was on a boat in the Navy. Said we had. We had a line of succession down to, like, 150 people. I'm like, yeah, on a boat, you're ranked and all that stuff. That makes sense that the boat would do that, because a boat can blow up and you're all in the same place, but it would take you longer than a day to know who's dead. You wouldn't just, like, wake up and magically go, I'm in charge. I'm 50. It's just a crazy thing. Remember Paula Proc, the Toledo hater? She emailed and she said, remember when Reagan got shot and three people went on TV and said they were in charge now? And it's true. It was James Baker. George. It was obvious who was supposed. Like, it was the original Bush. He was the vice president. Yeah, but James Baker. I don't have Tip o'. Neill. Like, I'm calling the shots. I'm in charge now. I was like, what? They had to have a meeting. They started fighting. One dude wasn't even dead yet. And they. We had a fight. We don't do as well now. Losing our guys. No way. This guy says, all right, Holmberg, if Do A shows up, obviously she's hot, she's ready to ride. But on the ceiling of her room is a sexy mural of Lamar Jackson. Can you keep it up? I'll tell you this. If Dua Lipa came in and wanted to blow me. But the one caveat was I had to be a season ticket holder of the Baltimore Ravens and live there for a While pack my bags, let's get those muscular moving men involved.

[Co-host]

Give me some good seats.

[John Holmberg]

Yep. And I'd be like, come on, Lamar. Yeah. Ugly ass freak, this guy says. I'll say it because nobody else will. You can't trust these desert goat efforts anymore. Weed them out of our country and start right where Brady goes for goat meat. You don't like it, report me. My name is Guy Fieri. Oh, racist Guy Fieri. Email. That's terrible. Somebody should report him. Terrible email. People are emailing to, like, crazy about Kyler Murray. He. He's out. He's basically out.

[Co-host]

Farewell text.

[John Holmberg]

He gave a nice text yesterday that was very passive aggressive. But Kyler Murray's gone. It's not official yet because, you know, they'll wait for the new season to begin, which I think is the 10th. The new NFL season technically begins on the 10th. And he wrote to everyone that supported me and showed kindness to my family during my time in Arizona, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Here's where Kyler hurts his image. The one thing about Kyler Murray, we'll get into it in a second. But his big problem is between the ears. It's not his athleticism. And this is the kind of crap that he thinks he's getting away with, but he's just not that clever. It says, I wanted nothing more than to be the one to end the 77 year drought for this organization. I'm sorry I failed us. I wish this community and my brothers nothing but the best it is. That is such a move. That is a line that basically takes a swing at the Cardinals. 77 years they've been. They've sucked and I couldn't pull them out of the tr. They're just bad. And he's not wrong. Wrong, I was just gonna say, but you don't do that when you're. When you're. When your big problem is, oh, you're kind of a. You're not a leader, you're a. And that's what people think of Kyler Murray. He gets hurt too much. He's a bit of a baby. He's got his video game clause and all that. And everybody's like, I don't know. It says, I'm no stranger to adversity. I'm prepared for whatever's next. I trust in God and my work ethic, and I believe my best ball is in front of me. He's. He's a bitch. Nobody's in his corner saying, kylie, you can't do that crap. You don't mention the franchise's hundred years of failure. You just don't. On your way out the door, you don't point out it's a flawed organ. I tried to be the one to change it. Even I couldn't do it. What a mess back there. Anyway, thanks for your time. He's a bitch. That was a passive aggressive swing at the Cardinals because he's a baby. And when you've got a reputation of being a baby, all you do is type out, my time here has been fantastic. I got to live out my dream. And the Cardinals gave me that opportunity. I will forever be in debt to them. Thank you. Onto the next adventure. Kyler Murray. That's it. I'm not a PR guy, but I

[Co-host]

just wrote, you like to say, take the high road a little bit.

[John Holmberg]

It isn't a high road. It's a bitch road. He didn't even take high or low. He went bitch. He went personal. Here's my biggest flaw, as it's seen by everybody in football, is that I'm a bad leader. I'm a bitch. I personalize things and I take little catty scratches. And he did it on his way out.

[Co-host]

I tried to help the worst organization in National Football League.

[John Holmberg]

It's passive aggressive crap. It's what kids call gaslighting.

[Caller/Listener]

Well, he's never had a good PR person. I mean, look at the whole thing when he was wearing the Michael Victors.

[John Holmberg]

You know, that's the problem with Kyler Murray. Nobody's on his team. He has no consigliere. He has no one that's sitting back on Kyler. Don't do this. Like, let me see your tweet before you tweet it. Yeah, and if I saw that, be like, kyler, this is great, but the middle of this is going to be construed as bitch. And if he says, oh, you're fired, then you're a bitch. Like, you can't hear what other people are reading in that is going to hurt you. You're not getting the Cardinals. Everyone knows they suck. There's no reason to kick this dead horse. But what you're doing is a move. And people will see that more than they'll see that the Cardinals stink. We already knew one thing. You're trying to reintroduce yourself to the rest of the league as a guy. Like, look, I'm ready to move on. Let's put this behind me. My time in Arizona was amazing. I wish it could have gone better, but I'll just keep trucking along. That's it. You just have to. But he personalized it by saying they're bad. You know, they're. How horrible they're. I couldn't. There's nothing I could do. I'm. I'm. I trust in God and my athleticism. But even that couldn't help me out with the Cardinals. It's a bitch move. Now that said, for 9 million a year, 10 million a year, every team that needs a quarterback should take a flyer on Kyler Murray because it isn't his fault that the team was bad. In fact, of his. I think he's like 38 and 48 as a quarterback. About 10 of those 38 wins are him single handedly winning the game. They never gave him an offensive line. He always had then the team was always injured. There was coaching changes constantly. Like this dude never had a chance. And I've always said this about Kyler Murray. He's. He's got his flaws for sure. He's not perfect, but if somebody ever got hold of what the athleticism and that arm. That Dude's arm is 65 yards on a flicker. He has a rocket pro arm. It is a baseball arm. And the dude is the best athlete on the field almost all the time. And if he wasn't a. And somebody could have corralled that mind of his in the last six years and made him a, you know, made him see, like what? Here's where your moves are and you keep doing it. The fact that his agent even, you know, he allowed the Cardinals to even introduce the. You got to practice, you got to watch tape for an hour. No video games on Tuesdays. And like if that was in his contract, that was them announcing you're a bitch. We're trying to fix that. His agent should have said no. But if Kyler Myth, they've linked him to my Steelers, like, would you take him? I'm like, in a second. Cardinals are paying the $30 million dead money. Steelers pick them up for 10 million.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Worth a shot. You make an incentive laden deal that's easy to cut, no guarantees. Say you're on a prove it contract. You were the jets and the Cardinals, whenever they cut someone, you can never sit back and go, yeah, but that guy sucks. No, he was a Jet or a Cardinal. It's the organization sucks. You got to give them another chance. He might, he might suck. You might be right. But right now he's cheap and he's a super athlete. I've been super consistent about him.

[Co-host]

He's got some prime years ahead, maybe

[John Holmberg]

potentially Maybe not, but I've said it for his. Injuries might have finally made him not as athletic. But I'll tell you, man, I've been fairly consistent about Kyler Murray going. His. His attitude sucks. And he might not be great, but that dude's the best athlete on the field. And a good coach can make something out of that. A good offensive line will change everything about Kyler Murray, and he never had one. Remember when he showed up? That team went to the playoffs, they started off like seven and one twice and caved in. That's more than just the quarterback. And then weight of this franchise pushed him down. Changes in coaching staffs, offensive coordinators, schemes, injuries, all this other stuff, and suddenly everybody's pointing the finger at him. And rightfully so. It's been a long time, but I don't think. I think somebody might pick up a little diamond in the rough there, and a very little diamond at that. We'll see. But people are asking me like crazy, would you have Kyler on your team in a second? In a second. Huh? Oh, is it seven o' clock already? Seven o' clock word. Nice job, Bert. The seven o' clock word is Cliff. Cliff Cli. Double F. That's your seven o' clock word for Metallica. Nice job, right? So, yeah, the Kyler Murray thinks, right, But I mean, so they stay with

[Co-host]

Brissette right now and they'll probably go after, who knows?

[John Holmberg]

Supposed to be coming, Jimmy Garoppolo. There's been rumors of all sorts of like, not going to do anything for the franchise quarterbacks. I don't know how they're going to sell a ticket with Jimmy G. Is you're like, I think we've got a real. No, he's had his opportunities. Now that's a guy who you're like, all right, give him a chance here. Give him a chance here. You've given four chances. And now he's just. He is what he is. He's just. He's a. He's a nice backup. He can start a few games for you and get you through, but he's not going to take a bad franchise and push him over the top. You got a lot more to worry about here in Arizona than your quarterback. It wasn't Kyler's fault. He wasn't helping, but it was not his fault.

[Caller/Listener]

There's nothing to help ticket sales this year for that team there.

[John Holmberg]

Nothing. There's no hope on that there. They have got to spend so much money, and Kyler leaving keeps a $30 million bag in their Pocket. They're still going to get hit by his number.

[Caller/Listener]

And you still got to talk people into coming here. That's. That's another thing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you're getting the. You're getting. Nobody's want to play. You're not going to get that. Now you know Trey Hendrickson, and there's the other organization that needs to just be laughed off the planet, The Bengals. Trey Hendrickson is going to leave, and that's a. That's a Dude changes everything for defense. He ain't coming here. He's like, what do you got on offense? Nothing. I just left. I just left a team that's going nowhere. I'm not. I'm. If I'm going to sign on my own and I'm allowed to pick where I go, I'm certainly not going to a place I'm going to struggle again. The Bengals are better than the Cardinals, but that's a. That's another dip or no. Sorry, Brady, but they're dumb. You lock that dude up, period. I mean, your quarterback even said, please make the defense better. Get last year, make Trey Hendrickson a priority. And they did.

[Co-host]

Also, you know, he wanted the best of both worlds. Spend the money on the receivers. He didn't want to see them.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, Burrow. Yeah, of course. Of course. But.

[Co-host]

But then you. You know, it doesn't pan out because

[John Holmberg]

it's a terrible organization that what's their quarterback pick, who's on the team, and they don't have any money. And now Joe. And you know what's going to happen, Joe Burrow is going to be like, I'm not playing here. I'm going to do exactly what happened with Carson Palmer. I love that. Football's in March. I love it. I love it.

[Co-host]

He's a lifer, John. Who?

[John Holmberg]

Burrow.

[Co-host]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's like a life sentence. I understand that. That I'd rather get the death penalty than play for the Cincinnati Bengals. Your dreams have come true. You're going to be an NFL star.

[Caller/Listener]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Gosh, that's amazing. Where do I play? You're a Cincinnati. I quit. You won't go to Cincinnati? Nope. I quit. Don't even finish the word.

[Caller/Listener]

Who's the worst run organization, Bengals or Bengals?

[John Holmberg]

Cardinals and Bengals are higher up than the other two. Those two are clearly about. And then you got to throw the Raiders in there.

[Co-host]

Raiders.

[John Holmberg]

Well, let's not get crazy. That has been recent. The Bengals have been bad forever. Cardinals have been bad forever. Jets have been bad forever. Raiders at least had those moments. Something's really wrong with them, though, as a franchise.

[Caller/Listener]

Always

[John Holmberg]

Jets, Cardinals, Browns. But that's, you know, since the Super Bowl. Prior to that, when it was just five or six teams, the Browns won a lot anyway. Yeah, I take that Kyler Murray in a second. And there's the fans of the Cardinals. Are you crazy? They're trying to make fun of me. Yeah, you're gonna have Kyler. I'm like, you're gonna have Jacoby Brissette or Jimmy Garoppolo. Shh. Pipe it. Pipe down, kids. I take Kyler. I know. I at least admit my team. It'll still win 10 or 11 games with Aaron Rodgers back or Kyler Murray, whoever they stuff in there, they're not going anywhere either. This guy says, yes, it was his fault. So sad to see Kyler Murray. It's like they left jamarcus Russell in the dryer too long. You'll make the trade for Anthony Richardson. That's what you'll do. This one says he's a scrambling quarterback. It never works. I don't think he wanted to be. I think he had to be. They never had a line. And in a weird way, I'm kind of happy about it because I don't care about the Cardinals at all. I like when they fail. It's. I'm not a fan. He does make a lot of bad decisions, but I think that's six years of being afraid to play football the proper way. It's going to lead because his first year, he made some good decisions and everybody loved the Hail Murray. And then that game he played against the Raiders where he was just 1 on 11 and won the damn game for him. A couple of plays. He's got special skills. He might be retarded, I don't know. But I take a chance for 9 million bucks on that kind of athleticism and a dude who's got something to prove, especially nothing. Nothing more dangerous than a. Who has something to prove. Like a dude whose ego's taking the punch and he doesn't like it. He's, you know, there's a good chance he might have a little fire under him for a sec. Very little. Because he's so small.

[Co-host]

Well, I just remember over the last couple years, it was always I, you know, finding out. You'd hear experts talk about him, and it was like, if the first person's

[John Holmberg]

not there, it's run right, because that's it. It's the default to. You got to be able to go to the next coach. He's a pocket passer, but he has been scared out of it when you get beat up. The way he got down to the coaching part, yeah. It also is sometimes a guy won't let that not be his default. I like Steve Young. You say that all the time. I like a quarterback that defaults to quarterback, not runner. And like when there's trouble, he keeps his head up and he looks down the field. But keep in mind he's had no one. He's had one dude to throw to in the last couple years and that guy was a rookie and he dropped a lot of passes. They found a second guy, but that was after he got hurt. I mean Kyler's had nothing in front of him. The offensive lines are always been bad. I'm not saying that he's great by any means. I'm just saying blaming him. As a Cardinal fan, you're about to find out it wasn't him. Last year they won three games.

[Podcast Host]

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[John Holmberg]

You can blame Kyler all you want for that, but. And you're gonna run with the dude that got you three games. What the. No, we'll go get Jimmy G. Jimmy G in Scottsdale. Enjoy the hep C. That dude's gonna be coded. He's a whore. And what great stories for us, though. Oh, if I was Jimmy Garoppolo, I would take the job here in a second. They're gonna pay you way too much money. I live in Scottsdale, and I look like that guy.

[Co-host]

This old crib.

[John Holmberg]

I take Cliff Gainsbury's old house and I. All the sweet ass of Scottsdale. Cause what do I care? I'm getting some sort of gear. I'm already loaded from the Raiders contract. I'm coming here and riding off into the sunset on some of the sweetest plastic surgery boobs and butts that money can buy right here in Scottsdale, Arizona. If I look like Jimmy G, he's. He's a backup in la and never once did he complain. I'm a starter in this league. I'm fine here. This is good. I'll be. I'll be over in Santa Monica at the beach for a while. Just.

[Co-host]

You need my talents.

[Caller/Listener]

Call me if you need.

[John Holmberg]

I'll be in Beverly Hills touching butts. Yeah, call me if Sean McVeigh calls. Hey, man, I need you, buddy. All right. I'll be over in a minute. Coach. From touching butts right now with somebody. Jimmy will be here in a little bit. He's touching butts. Yeah. All right. Thanks, McVeigh. Once he's done touching butts, we're back out there.

[Co-host]

Great.

[John Holmberg]

Great team player. He never, never complains about being the backup. Would you. He's in Beverly Hills, for God's sakes. He's. The way he looks. I was in Vegas when they signed Jimmy G. And the lady next to me was drooling because the TV said, raiders get. You know, he's finally there, and he's. I remember thinking, he's not gonna make it here. He's.

[Co-host]

People waiting for him at the airport.

[John Holmberg]

This was the worst connection. Those strippers in Vegas, showgirls everywhere. Incredible. Jimmy G shows up. You think he's gonna focus on greater football for more than 10? He looks too good.

[Co-host]

Carrot Top I mean, there's so many.

[John Holmberg]

Carrot Top will blow you. And why not? It's a good story. Scott's a nice guy. Go down in that little bar that he's got backstage. I've been there twice. It's a fantastic place. And Carrot Top will hang with you and pour your drinks and yes, in person. Weirder than he is when you see him on tv. That face is just not human. He's about Kyler Murray's size. Carrot Top might be five. Five?

[Caller/Listener]

Really? I just. I thought he was taller than that.

[John Holmberg]

No, he's a little fella. Super nice, though. And fun. Ripped and gay. Really gay. He loves boys, like, a lot. And that's fine. Probably bangs girls too, but I don't think there's any of them that bang back. That's a thing. I got this interesting, very interesting email, by the way. The word again at seven o' clock for the Metallica, disappear to the sphere is cliff. Cliff is the word for seven. It starts off with a statement I think may actually be very true, says. Dear Holmberg, I think I'm probably your only gynecologist listener in 25 years. I've never heard from a gynecologist who's listened. Not a one. I live in the beautiful city of Houston, Texas. I listen daily on the podcast. Well, thanks for picking up the podcast. It's doing great. I grew up listening to you. I'm 36 years old. Oh my God. I literally have been checking in with this station since my dad introduced me to it for 20 plus years. Oh, second gen means he was 15 or so and now he's a honeyhole fixer. Says. Anyway, I think you're the place I should go to to talk about this, since your audience is mainly men in their 30s, 40s and 50s, and you've joked about how your dad was afraid of menopause. Most men the age I've mentioned are dealing with menopausal wives. There's perimenopause, which also can present eight to 10 years prior to real menopause. Oh, is that a real eight to ten years? You can start for a woman in her late 30s. No one ever talks to men about how to deal with it. We're all just on pins and needles about what a woman's going through. So as a professional, let me tell you this. If your wife complains about menopause symptoms and not just hot flashes, but behavioral issues, if you're noticing that she's off her rocker, first off, it's hormonal that. That's very true. And my advice to all the men who have this is to get the out. John, your dad was right. Here's the other side. If you have a wife who sails through menopause, no issues at all, she's a sociopath. The things happening to her body are extraordinary. If she remains unaffected, she is absolutely crazy. Is going to kill you. There's no winning here. Vaginal dryness, no big deal. Hot flashes, deal with it. Also no big deal. It's the mood swings to watch for men. Because it's my experience that those are not just symptoms, those are her new personality. They never go back to normal. Doesn't go away.

[Caller/Listener]

So he's basically telling us to become gay.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I mean, he said, I just thought I'd give you this PSA. Dr. Ben Go Cougs, the Houston cougar.

[Caller/Listener]

Or he's saying live life like DiCaprio.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, just keep catching beforehand. Go back and deal with the period 8 to 10 years and then menopause. He said it's the perimenopause is an 8 to 10 year run. Then menopause. Because that's the pre. That's the trailers to the movie you went to see.

[Co-host]

Yeah, I thought, you know, I'd always hear once they crossed over, it got better. But they had to.

[John Holmberg]

Well, because it isn't. You're not crazy. Well, it depends.

[Co-host]

Years or whatever.

[John Holmberg]

According to Dr. Ben, once they get out of it, whatever you just saw is who they are now.

[Caller/Listener]

Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

So, you know, seven years. You're just used to it. I don't know how it works. My dad was horrified of it. Used to talk about it all the time. But you know, it's from a doctor that's not even me talking about. That's an actual doctor that says, run for your life. If she's got mood. Sweet. Yeah. Vaginal dryness. What man married for more than five years hasn't dealt with that? She's tired of you, you're tired of her. Spit in your hand, get to work. But personality changes, if you're starting to see those, I got a friend of mine who's his has gone crazy. Like not normal, like crazy. Like just cries for no reason at all. Has to pull her car over and get rides home because she can't emotionally control herself anymore.

[Co-host]

It's baffling for them.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, sure. That's not my problem. Yeah, it's not like it surprised you, you know? You knew about this. If somebody told you you're going to get hit by a truck. When you're 44, and it's guaranteed, just brace yourself for impact. I think you start planning for it. You know your doomsday prep a little bit. You have to be super aware of the fact that you just tried to cut Brett's throat. Jesus Christ. Did I just do that? I'm sorry. It's menopause, and you got to learn the words I'm sorry. I suppose that would be a good one. I don't know. I've not dealt with it.

[Co-host]

I think it scares me more that he says. The ones that get through it like a champ.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's. They're the crazy. There's a sociopath. Because if you can have that much hormonal imbalance and just look and go, I'm fine. How are you? She's planning your death. Men don't talk about this because we're scared of it.

[Co-host]

Well, and as far as the beginning part, not knowing much about it, we're scared of it.

[John Holmberg]

We don't even want to know. We don't know what your period's doing. We hear the word slough and shed and we're out. And we don't want to know. We're not educating ourselves on any of that stuff. Just deal with it. As long as we know it ruins

[Caller/Listener]

vacations, that's about it.

[John Holmberg]

That's right.

[Caller/Listener]

That's what we know about periods.

[John Holmberg]

And evidently, after those are over and that menopause steps in and ruins every day, we're afraid of it. But we're men, like Brady said. You just deal with it. You step up, you be a man. Yeah, my wife's a bitch now. Nothing I can do about that. I can either give her half and start over or just tolerate this weirdness.

[Co-host]

So the doctor saying Next brought up.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, kind of. That's kind of what Dr. Ben said. I'm not sure I agree with that. That's kind of rude. It's like a dog, you know? I don't like to say it that way, but a woman's a lot like a dog. You agree to hang out with it until it's gone. You don't just cast it off to another family and give your problems to someone else. You pay for its vet bills and you make sure it's comfortable when it dies.

[Co-host]

And you decide when to put it down.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly the thing I'm aiming at. Eventually, it's like, that's enough of this. This isn't getting better.

[Co-host]

Look, you're in a lot of pain, right?

[John Holmberg]

Hey, baby.

[Co-host]

What is it?

[John Holmberg]

I'VE always promised you to have no bad days. It's time we. We ended this. You want a divorce? Oh, God, no. That would be giving you all this money. I'm going to go ahead and put you down now. Oh, my God.

[Co-host]

You're not e. You're not eating. You're not sleeping. You've got headaches.

[John Holmberg]

You don't comb your hair anymore.

[Co-host]

It's. It's time.

[John Holmberg]

Your coat's a mess. You just. It's just not. There's no pride left in this. It's so hot in here. This is what I'm talking about.

[Co-host]

There's the flash.

[John Holmberg]

You can't even regulate temperature. We're on Earth. It's 80 degrees, and you're complaining? It's beautiful outside. You don't understand what I'm going through. And I'm gonna put you out of this misery.

[Co-host]

Fixler.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Dr. Fixler. I have. And Dr. Fix will be on there. Like, who is it? Is it Jack or bus? I'm so sorry. No, actually, it's. It's that woman. Oh, yeah, I understand. I'll be there in 20 minutes. And he'd come by, and he and Amelia would happy euthanize the wife.

[Caller/Listener]

Man, that's.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know anything about it.

[Co-host]

Oh, we're having a picnic. Yeah. Sit down with a blanket.

[John Holmberg]

Shh. You push her around in a wagon for a day and let other people pet her? It's her last day.

[Co-host]

You know what? Let's see what we want.

[John Holmberg]

Why are you doing all this for me? I want you to have the best last day ever. I don't understand. You want. Shh. Sleep. Is he putting a. Yeah, he's gonna give you a little iv. Oh, is this to make me feel better from drinking? It's to make you feel better.

[Caller/Listener]

All right, well, it's to make me feel better.

[John Holmberg]

And then Dr. Fixler says, they're very comfortable right now. Say your goodbyes. And then they sleep, and you just whisper in their ear how much you loved them. And they were normal back before all the weirdness. And then he goes, are you ready? And then he adds the extra. And then he touches their chest and says they're at peace. Wow.

[Co-host]

Her eyes dilated.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's so weird. It's almost like you could see her leaving the corpse. Anyway, I've got a date at five, Dr. Fixler with somebody who's not crazy yet.

[Co-host]

Thanks, bro.

[John Holmberg]

You mind just wrapping her up and put her in that burrito of a blanket and get her out?

[Co-host]

Part of the service Part of the service.

[John Holmberg]

Right. Do you want her ashes? Not really.

[Caller/Listener]

What am I gonna do with him?

[John Holmberg]

What am I gonna do with that? Put him next to the dogs.

[Co-host]

It's just.

[John Holmberg]

It's getting weird at my house. That's what Dr. Ben says. I'm not an expert. He is. And I'm sorry for you ladies. I'll never understand it, but don't ever expect a man to understand this. This guy says how hilarious. This guy emailed. I just had a conversation about guys that choose gynecology as a profession. They're weirdos. Same with dudes that give massages. It's like pedophiles putting themselves in careers that put them around kids. It is a little weird to want to be a gynecologist.

[Caller/Listener]

She died doing what she loved. Bitching.

[John Holmberg]

Bitching. It's so hot in here. This needle hurts. Oh, it's almost all over. Don't worry, you won't have anything to complain about in a few minutes. I'm not saying kill your wife. Just saying. I understand

[Podcast Host]

now.

[John Holmberg]

It's. Dr. Ben said so. It's a weird thing. I don't know anything about it, but Dr. Ben must be going through something. He's 36 and he's learning about perimenopause. I don't know what that means either. Said gynecologist also said that Rachel has vaginal dryness from restless legs chafing around. Yeah, it's probably true. Rachel probably has vaginal dryness anyway just because she's got mirrors in the house. I mean, she, you know, she catches a reflection of her herself, it's immediately dries up like Medusa. Just turns her. Her moisture into stone. Like banging a rock quarry down there. Crowbar and some WD40, their code word when they want to go out.

[Co-host]

It's like, let's go to the dunes.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I've. All right. Time to do a little sand railing. I've never heard the thing about a woman who sails through menopause being nuts.

[Co-host]

I didn't hear that either. Yeah, I was like, man, you got a champ.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but you know, I never really hung out with women post menopausal women before, so his. Now I'm intrigued. Well, yeah, exactly. And now I'm intrigued at the idea that the ones who go nuts through menopause, do they ever go back and just apologize for the last few years? I don't think I've ever. I don't think they do. I don't think I've heard of anybody going, sorry about all that. I'm normal again. I think he's right. I think it's just their new personality.

[Co-host]

Huh.

[John Holmberg]

Because a lot of old women are mad, a lot of old men are mad, and it's probably because of their wives. That's an interesting.

[Co-host]

You think that's. You know, because all we hear about is the, the other way when they. And these 55 plus communities. Yeah, the active that. Well, the villages.

[John Holmberg]

But your villages, you're taking the outlier and making it everybody. What you've heard in the news is they have sex parties in the spa. And this is. They have like eight, like eight of them.

[Co-host]

The rate of chlamydia.

[John Holmberg]

But the rate is, you know, if 10 of them get it, there's some crazy out. Yeah, I'm sure it's like three or four people get the herpes at the villages because, you know and I know.

[Co-host]

Look, it's bigger than the average community.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, men are no picnics and they got nothing to do all day. Over at the villages, most of them are retired, just walking around going, eh, I don't know, boning that lady in the hot tub. My wife's been dead for two years. So then they get back on the action and then they start. I don't think. I think that's greatly exaggerated the STD rates at the villages because, you know, you think about all these people and you're talking about guys in their late 70s all the way down to 55.

[Co-host]

That changed. There's a difference between, you know, 55 and 70.

[John Holmberg]

Sure, there's tons of difference. But the, the difference is, is like the 70s guys come from the 70s, so they've probably got a good portion of those dudes caught the herpes. And then these 55ers are just a few years old enough. They're grunge era. So they've got herpes. They're carrying herpes in. It's not like they're just spreading around new.

[Co-host]

It's finally coming out. They've had it for years.

[John Holmberg]

He knew they didn't.

[Caller/Listener]

I guess I'll take a swing at Gertrude over there.

[John Holmberg]

Holg's morning sickness. Hey, you guys want to feel like absolute Mr. Miyagi? Remember from Karate Kid? Remember that movie? Remember the wise old sage, Mr. Miyagi and every memory he had with sepia toned World War II footage?

[Co-host]

Yes.

[John Holmberg]

He was 52.

[Co-host]

Oh,

[John Holmberg]

Mr. Miyagi in that movie where he was the wise old man who lived. The caretaker who lived all my life. Lonely, lonesome old man.

[Co-host]

His wife.

[John Holmberg]

Wife's been dead For a while. He's a widower because that's old. People are. And you just say he was 52.

[Caller/Listener]

So he had the bumps or what?

[John Holmberg]

Well, probably had, yeah, a little Asian bumps. It couldn't. Couldn't pull some ass. Wasn't interested anymore.

[Co-host]

I stayed single.

[John Holmberg]

It was. It was. He'd been thinking about life for. Oh yay, those 52 years and he had all the answers he could. Wise woman. Now try being 52 in an apartment complex and befriend a teenager and see how well that goes. Good luck. It's a different time.

[Co-host]

Come over to my dojo.

[John Holmberg]

Why don't you come over and help me projects, trim some bushes and then I'll watch a sweat. 52 year old guy walks up to any teenager right now. Single mom at work all day, latchkey kid walks through. Want to come over and I'll learn your karate? Sure. That's a rape.

[Co-host]

You want some work? Go over to Gacy's house.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. It says what you're saying about menopausal women is disgusting. I don't care if you say it's a joke. I didn't say it. Karen. Oh, her name's Karen. I didn't say it. The doctor said it. I don't know anything about it. That's what I said. My opinion is. I don't know. I'm basing the jokes off of what that guy said. Sorry, Karen. And she's probably going through menopause. Made her mad.

[Caller/Listener]

Oh, you know, that's.

[John Holmberg]

I'm sorry. That's why she emailed. Or Harry, her husband probably emailed and went. You son of a. Why did you email him? Karen, come on. What are you doing? Well, he can't say that about us. Oh, cry. He's right. Look at you. You're losing your mind. I didn't say anything about menopausal women, Karen. Ben did. Dr. Ben in Houston call him up.

[Co-host]

And who is this perimenopause guy?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, what's he doing in my house? I don't know what you're going through. I. I said I sympathized with you, Karen. It seems crazy, but Dr. Ben told me that you go crazy. And Karen, you're proving it. You're acting like a crazy person.

[Caller/Listener]

DiCaprio and Belichick are right.

[John Holmberg]

Brett's saying some things. This one says menopause evidently makes you enjoy oral sex. My wife became premenopausal and couldn't stop blowing other dudes. Signed. I don't know if that was menopause. Tom.

[Co-host]

It's gotta be.

[John Holmberg]

Karen's gonna lose her mind. Oh, she's gonna make some calls. Larry's gonna have a call from some. And it's bad to be an angry woman named Karen in this day and age. Oh, yeah, but an angry woman named Karen complaining about menopause talk, the eye rolls that the guys are gonna have for everyone. Just, just. I'm sorry to say, Karen, just eat this. Eat this loss. Do what you can to control. You probably can't, but do what you can to control your innards and just stamp down all the wanton. They lash out at this, roll on to the next. It is jokes, but. Yeah, yeah. Find something else to complain about. I guarantee you, you've got something in the hopper. You've got a bee bag to draw from. You can't do that, Karen. You can't. You're not going to help the situation by writing an angry complaint letter about how menopause is. Doesn't make you crazy. You're dealing with what you're dealing with. And you know how I know you're going through menopause is because people who aren't wouldn't know to be mad about it. What you're saying is horrible. Like, people who aren't dealing. I don't know. If it's horrible, what is it? Women looking forward to it aren't gonna complain about it until they go through it. So you're in it.

[Caller/Listener]

What broad's looking forward to that?

[John Holmberg]

She's in it. Sorry, Karen. I don't know what you're going through. Men are no picnic, Karen. I don't know what you're going through, but sounds like it's your new personality. And you better get a new keyboard because all your letters are gonna come off. I know you'll say it'. Jokes. But what we're going through isn't fair. It's just not. It is our time. You don't know. You don't understand. You are dead, though. What a wonderful day. Let's check in with Karen, the menopausal woman. She's got some complaint. It is our time. Oh, my God. Karen, are you feeling all right today? You going to put everything in your back pocket and just trudge through? What a wonderful day. All right. Anyway, don't get mad at me. Bet your body's betraying you. I don't understand it. I'm not dealing with it. My dad's mom. I've told this story before. My dad's mom pretended to commit suicide. Left her poured ketchup all over face and floor and laid in bed relayed on the kitchen floor and locked all the doors of the house till my dad got home from school and he couldn't get in. And he's looking through the windows and there's his dead mother in the kitchen floor and he broke a door down and she was laughing when he got in. Fooled ya. She cleaned up the ketchup and my grandpa came home and said, who broke our door? Dan. And my grandpa rolled him up in a carpet and beat him within an inch of his life. She never said a thing. Yeah, so that's why my dad's a little worried about he's. I mean they go crazy, you know. They go crazy, right? Like. I don't know. Your experience is a bit unique. This guy says, you know what?

[Caller/Listener]

Off.

[John Holmberg]

You guys don't have any ideas. Even the word menopause starts with men. We gave you that. I'm not going to be a jerk about it, but my goodness, she's angry. Sorry, Karen. They got to be some sort of a drink or something that you get. They have that hormone replacement therapy. Isn't that help? Yeah, go get. I don't know. It says Karen complaining about menopause. That's the equivalent of a terrorist wearing a Property of Allah sweater. Yeah, it is kind of an announcement really. I think I have some things to say about your thoughts on menopause and I'm not happy. Alright. The menopausal woman has the mic. How do you know? Why else would you care so much? It's not my fault. Jesus. Cardinal fans weren't this.

[Co-host]

I blazed through it.

[John Holmberg]

This one says better living through chemistry. I survived menopause and came out the other end with a sex drive like a 30 year old boy. Jennifer, that sounds great. That's how you handle the menopause? Better living through chemistry. I don't know what that means. Sounds like you took a lot of drugs and got around it. And I'm all for that anyway. John.

[Caller/Listener]

The ones looking forward to are probably those plan B whores from yesterday. Once they hit menopause, they don't have to eat that Plan B Tic Tacs anymore.

[John Holmberg]

These are not the thoughts and views of me. I find them hysterical because everything to me is funny. But Karen, I'm sorry and God, you're going through a lot. Karen. I want to be Karen's friend. She's got a chemical imbalance. She's losing her mind. Her name's been ruined in the last 10 years. I feel terrible for all Karens but the last thing you can do as somebody, you have to have this self awareness that if your name is Karen, you can't fire off an angry email anymore. You can't. It's like being named Saddam. You can't make a complaint just like your name is. Yeah, yeah, Adolf. If you're an Adolf, you're like, here's a. Here's what's under my skin. Adolf H. It's like, nope, nobody's ever gonna pay attention. If your name is Adolf Harris. You can't write a letter to anybody because whatever valid complaint you may have had, it disappears the second ago. His name's Adolph H. That's gotta be rough. No wonder he's angry.

[Co-host]

It's Adolphus.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, sign Adolph. Change your name. Sorry, Karen. I'm on your side, Karen. Get mad at me. I'd do anything for you stink.

[Co-host]

Because the upside is, you know, like, if you had. If you're going through the periods and stuff and it was horrible cramps and all that, you're gonna be done with that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but no more sloughing. Like. Yeah, Sloughing and shedding. It's a great band name, by the way. Karen, I'd do anything for you except bang you because you get that dryness thing going on. Nobody wants to fight through that. It's insulting. God's sakes, get some Astro Glide and fool me. So Karen ran to her keyboard. Think of how many holistic pill bottles she knocked over to get to that letter. That's probably true, Karen. Sorry.

[Co-host]

Just read your horoscope. You'll feel better.

[John Holmberg]

This one says, my wife has recently started having complete anxiety breakdowns, much like your buddy's wife. Like the guy that was. I've got a friend who's like. She just cries, pulls over and calls me and says she needs a ride. She can't get him like that. I've also had to go pick her up because she pulled over on the side of the road and couldn't get home. She's 35. Is this my future? I'm calling happy endings now. Karen, we weren't serious about euthanizing the women of menopause. We were just going to take Dr. Ben's advice and leave you in the dust.

[Caller/Listener]

Just call your life coach. He'll take care of it all. Don't call me so crazy.

[John Holmberg]

I'm sorry, Karen. Here.

[Co-host]

A weekend in the sweat lodge will fix it.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Sedona should get this all wrapped up. That's why it's the Red City is you don't have to do that anymore. It's the last period. Soil is red because it's everybody's last period. And their last yoga retreat. They have one last menstruation, and then

[Co-host]

they go stack some rocks, call it a weekend.

[Caller/Listener]

The Pastino.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it's the Postinos of nature. Karen is under my. I want to go after her, but I'm afraid I'll just tell you. Karen, don't worry about it. Everything's fine. Mr. Miyagi was 52. Just absorb that a little better. Make us all crazy. Then you got a reason to be mad. This one says, we just heard a college educated, science backed medical professional explained the horrors of menopause. And the fact that this change makes women suffer and also makes every man confused and suffer as well. And some people have the audacity to believe in God. I don't know what that is because he created this, which means he's a twisted a hole. Yeah. Women. I don't know how you can put up with what you put up with and say that this is a good system. But I want to introduce you to a girl named Rachel. Karen, because you two are going to get along great. Now, she's going to kick you if you ever go in camping with her because she's got those restless legs. But bring extra food because, well, then her friend Catherine will show up and she'll start yelling at you, too. You. You guys are going to have a great time. You're probably going to get kicked out of Postinos for getting a little loud. You're going to start yelling about stuff, I guess. But I'm sorry you're going through this. And I expect a letter from. From Karen a little later that says, I'm sorry. Yeah, because you're bipolar now for a couple years. Someone will still love you, but probably just not the guy you're with now. Just a thought. I'm gonna. She's gonna kill me. That's. That's. That's coming my way. Brett, let's get out of this before we're in trouble. What's on the big board of musical Treats? All right.

[Caller/Listener]

Wake up. Song Time brought to you by. We don't have the sheet.

[John Holmberg]

You didn't do it again? No. You got to get on the ball. Gum.

[Co-host]

What's your problem, man?

[John Holmberg]

All right. It's brought to you by our friends at Modern Resolution. Windows and doors. 30% off all windows and Doors. That's a great deal right there. And then you say, hey, John Holmberg is a friend of mine. Even if it's not true, just mention my name and they'll throw another $500 deduction off that total contract price. They're coming to my house later today. I got an idea for some window stuff. So I'm going to have them peep out some things and take a look. And I'm going to mention. I wonder if mentioning me and being me gets me a thousand dollars off

[Caller/Listener]

because you're friends of you.

[John Holmberg]

Well, no. I have my own ID with the name. That gets you 500 bucks off. That should be double, don't you think? Yeah, like mentioning me and being me. That should double the like. That should be the one thing I get out of this. Well, we'll see. I'll talk to him. But I mentioned John Holmberg and actually am John Holmberg. I should get more than $500. Even though it's a sweet deal. You guys just get 500. Unless you're also a half a window. Give me one free window. I'm asking for one free window. 500 bucks and 30% off.

[Caller/Listener]

One rib?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. How much exactly is one rib? Yeah. Maybe just bring over a 12 pack of Coke Zero. I'd be all right with that. I get the 500 bucks off and just for being me, here's 12 Coke Zeros. That's a good idea. Either way, these guys are great. They're coming to my place today. Modern Resolution Windows and Doors. If you got windows or doors that need replacement, these are the only people to do it with their family. Run locally operated and they'll help you out if you need financing or anything else.modern resolution.com. what's on the board?

[Caller/Listener]

Right on the list. Metal Church, Black Sabbath, Primus. My Name Is Mud for the new Iranian leader. Disturbed, Indestructible. Nine Inch Nails, Wage War, Slayer, War Ensemble. Hate Breed, Destroy, Everything. The theme song from your new TV show, War.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's great.

[Caller/Listener]

Let your call boy avenge Sevenfold Skilo. I wish for Kyler. Megadeth. Peace Sells. And Ray Charles Hit the Road Jack

[John Holmberg]

for Kyler as well. That people are wanting Kyler out. I don't know what you think you're going to get in his place. We'll see. It's a bad year to lose your starting quarterback, even if you hated him. Yeah, there's not a lot out there. Unless you want to pay top dollar for Malik Willis and cross your fingers. We'll see. Which one did you want to do the theme song for the Destroy. Everything's pretty great. Hate Breed's pretty good. You got anything on your mind there, Bert?

[Caller/Listener]

I always like Hate Breed.

[John Holmberg]

All right, go a little hate breed. Destroy everything for that new TV show I've been loving called War. We'll get that right out of the way. The word for Metallica right Now for the 7 o' clock hour is Cliff. You got a few more minutes to load that up in the app and on the website 98kupd.com put Cliff in there for that particular box at 7. We'll give you another word at 8. We're going to keep that going until we send one of you guys to Vegas with hotel accommodations and a couple hundred bucks for fuel. Oh, yeah, and tickets to shows 1 and 2 of Metallica in Sphere. It's pretty awesome. So get it ready. The word is Cliff. For seven o'. Clock. Here's Hate Brid. It's your wake up song. It's destroy everything.

[Co-host]

It's not weird.

[John Holmberg]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee. I have heard enough of this.