03-05-25 - Discussing Trans Athletes In Competition - Remembering Our Own Struggles w/Puberty Including Frank's Early Shaving And John's Blue Marker Story

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona Episode: March 5, 2025 Title: Discussing Trans Athletes In Competition - Remembering Our Own Struggles w/Puberty Including Frank's Early Shaving And John's Blue Marker Story

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1. Introduction

In this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD, hosts John Holmberg (referred to as Brady) and his co-hosts engage in a spirited discussion about the participation of transgender athletes in competitive sports. The conversation intertwines contemporary debates with personal anecdotes from the hosts' own experiences during puberty, offering both critical perspectives and humorous reflections.

2. Controversial Discussion on Trans Athletes

The episode delves into the contentious topic of transgender athletes competing in women's sports. Brady initiates the debate by critiquing the competitive balance, particularly highlighting perceived disparities in athletic conditioning and defensive capabilities.

• Brady (00:35): "I didn't really see a great conditioning situation going on over there... if I was on a volleyball court and I saw the opponents had three girls in the starting rotation that were, you knew they weren't jumping too high."

The conversation intensifies as the hosts recount specific instances from high school volleyball games, questioning the fairness and readiness of certain teams.

• Brady (02:18): "Incredibly athletic woman wouldn't have knocked one of them out. It was, it wasn't the most well-conditioned high school volleyball team I'd ever seen."

The discussion becomes more heated when addressing incidents where transgender athletes may have inadvertently caused harm, leading to debates about safety and regulation.

• Brady (04:00): "She was training a golden corral. She got hit in the face with a volleyball... it's defense."

3. Drawing Parallels to Personal Puberty Struggles

Transitioning from the main topic, the hosts draw parallels between the challenges faced by transgender athletes and their own struggles during puberty. This segment serves to humanize the debate, providing personal insights into bodily changes and societal expectations.

• Brady (08:18): "There are still rules. There's a way we did something and then all of a sudden it just changed overnight."

4. Personal Anecdotes: Frank's Early Shaving and John's Blue Marker Story

A significant portion of the episode revolves around Frank's humorous recounting of his early shaving experiences and John's "blue marker" story, symbolizing the awkwardness and confusion of adolescence.

• Frank (11:23): "I never lived that because I was 13, shaving my back."

• Brady (25:37): "It was a blue like marker pen... it's a publess brick."

These stories highlight the discomfort and experimentation that often accompanies the transition from childhood to adulthood, drawing a lighthearted connection to the broader discussion on gender and physical development.

5. Broader Conversations and Tangents

Throughout the episode, the conversation occasionally veers into other areas, including the decline of radio as a medium, personal interactions with guests like Cato Kalin, and brief forays into political commentary.

• Brady (06:40): "Everything seems like a distraction to me."

• Frank (33:53): "Cochise from... Dead, Kennedy's, Limp Bizkit, Pantera, Iron Maiden..."

These tangents, while less central to the main topics, showcase the hosts' dynamic and the show's characteristic blend of serious debate and casual banter.

6. Conclusion

The episode wraps up with a blend of comedic relief and reflections on the day's discussions. The hosts acknowledge the complexity of the topics covered, balancing personal stories with broader societal issues.

• Frank (39:02): "Nobody ever got to him and said, why don't you just cut this one short and have him say..."

Overall, this episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers listeners a mix of provocative discussions on transgender athletes in sports and relatable stories from the hosts' own formative years, all delivered with the show's signature humor and candidness.

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Notable Quotes:

• Brady (02:18): "Incredibly athletic woman wouldn't have knocked one of them out. It was, it wasn't the most well-conditioned high school volleyball team I'd ever seen."

• Frank (11:23): "I never lived that because I was 13, shaving my back."

• Brady (25:37): "It was a blue like marker pen... it's a publess brick."

• Frank (39:02): "Nobody ever got to him and said, why don't you just cut this one short and have him say..."

---

Holmberg's Morning Sickness continues to blend topical debates with personal anecdotes, fostering an engaging environment for listeners to explore and reflect on pressing social issues through the lens of the hosts' unique experiences.

Transcript

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[Brady]

Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com thanks miles to nowhere. That's a fabulous start to the day. Yeah, people emailing like crazy about, you know, it should have been a better defensive move in the volleyball. We all kind of, nobody's ever said it could have played a little bit better defense. And also in the girl volleyball with the transvestite. I didn't really see a great conditioning situation going on over there. Not to shame them, but if I was on a volleyball court and I saw the opponents had three girls in the starting rotation that were, you knew they weren't jumping too high.

[Frank Caliendo]

That was at the end of the game.

[Unknown]

She was training a golden corral.

[Brady]

It was a little. The girl who got the face shot ended up getting bigger. She was, she was fine in the game. There's a couple of them out there on the, on the floor that I'm not so sure. An incredibly athletic woman wouldn't have knocked one of them out. It was, it wasn't the most well conditioned high school volleyball team I'd ever seen. That's all. Doesn't mean they can't win. Just means they probably can't win, that's all. But yeah, a guy emailed me. He said we used to have ringers in volleyball that he played. I played him. My dad had his work league. God, I had to be like 19. And he's like, you want to come down? And they were looking for athletic people to play in this work league volleyball thing they did on Tuesday nights. I'm like, heck, yeah, I'll go down and do that. That sounds fun. So I could, at the time, I was playing basketball so much I could actually jump. And so I was one of the few people that could block a spike. Now keep in mind it's rec league crap.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So you're jumping up and doing it. Frank Galando's here. And jump so he could spike. But I could get my hands barely over the top of the net. We brought in a dude who played at usc and he would come up and, you know, it was co ed. And that dude could spike like nobody's business onto the other team, but he knew not to hit him in the face. And this dude was like, six five. And you realize the difference between a real volleyball player and, like, us rec leaguers is that his midsection would go over the top of the net.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's like his shoulders are above.

[Brady]

It was unreal how high this guy could jump. But we did that to win the rec league. So we place dudes against women constantly right there on the court. Hi, Frank. Frank Caleando.

[Unknown]

I'm doing it here.

[Brady]

Yeah. And you would do it if I had you on my volleyball team.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Right.

[Unknown]

Wrong sport.

[Brady]

Exactly, exactly, exactly.

[Unknown]

It's me and Brad Williams.

[Brady]

And there you are with Brad Williams on my. I'm sitting there looking at the other team. I'm like, I need a ringer. And I wouldn't be surprised if other teams tried to spike it into you, because you look like the least valuable member of my volleyball team. So it's less transgender and more like pick out the weakling. But you still can't have a dude playing in a girl's sport because they. They displayed it in that video that they can't play defense. Exactly.

[Unknown]

It sounds.

[Brady]

You've never seen the video of the girl taking the spike. Oh, you've seen it. Stop that.

[Unknown]

You can't anything.

[Brady]

You have to participate in the conversation if you're going to participate.

[Unknown]

I'm done.

[Brady]

You've seen the video?

[Unknown]

What video?

[Brady]

The video of the transvestite volleyball gender knocking that. Nope.

[Unknown]

No gender vestite.

[Brady]

Only one gen gender. And it isn't trans. It's man. But no, the. The spike.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I think. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, right in the head.

[Brady]

It's defense. It's more defense than it is.

[Frank Caliendo]

She has brain damage, right?

[Unknown]

Oh, really?

[Brady]

A little bit.

[Unknown]

I didn't realize. A little bit just because she's a woman? Is that what you're saying?

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. And then she got hit in the face with a volleyball. Whoa.

[Unknown]

And almost knocked some sense into her, is what you're saying.

[Brady]

That's how you're worried about me? And you come in with these bad. This is. All right. Okay. Take.

[Unknown]

And don't stop.

[Brady]

But yeah.

[Unknown]

So are we on right now?

[Brady]

We are on right now. You can put your headphones on.

[Unknown]

Put your headphones Is that why I'm talking to the microphone?

[Brady]

Little red lights mean. Yeah.

[Unknown]

Oh my gosh.

[Brady]

I do. Like, people will do that when we're off the air.

[Unknown]

I must not have a lot of corporates coming.

[Brady]

You don't have any gigs you have to worry about losing. You have this dopey one on the weekend, but that, that's going no matter what.

[Unknown]

What is the. What are you saying? When people come in and they don't know if they're.

[Brady]

The mics are on and. But people talk like lean up against the microphone off the air.

[Unknown]

Well, there is an habit. Yeah, there is. There is habit to that. But there are people like when you do call ins with some radio stations, they don't tell you that they're starting the quote unquote interview. They just start talking to you, like saying hello.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And they're recording and you're going, you're talking and you're kind of boring for three or four minutes and you're going, are we, are we doing the.

[Brady]

We are.

[Unknown]

We're on the air. What?

[Brady]

What? Hey, bank brag.

[Unknown]

And then I go into my thriller voice that.

[Brady]

What, I get two temperature mentions in the first three minutes. You know we're broadcasting live.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I guess I probably should have figured it out when there was traffic on the fives.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah. That's not regular conversation.

[Unknown]

Three other people I have that kind of conversation with and a lot of.

[Brady]

Times when they do that stuff, they're like, Frank, it's great to have you here. Thanks for popping in this morning. I'm going to really enjoy the interview with you this morning. It's going to be great. And remember that you can save 15% on your insurance if you just use Geico. Frank, we're having a regular conversation. We'll be on the air in a second. This is just how I speak. We'll be right back.

[Unknown]

They do this too. I'm going to chop that up into five segments. We'll get that. I might cut out a little bit in there, but we'll figure it out.

[Brady]

You know what's sad for you?

[Unknown]

Everything.

[Brady]

Well, yeah, one of the things. Let me see another.

[Frank Caliendo]

Another thing.

[Unknown]

Let me go height with pile.

[Brady]

Another sad thing on for you is that radio across the nation is just dying a slow, terrible lot of it. Oh, it's done. Yeah. The people in charge of radio have been negligent in its care and they've destroyed it, our company included. Destroyed the future poor comedians who have had to schlep to radio shows for the last, however Many years will no longer have to do that. You are missing that. You're not going to be part of the whole. Won't do it. Right. Like, you've done radio to another. Like you were there. As it was still like super powerful. Well.

[Unknown]

And there's like five shows around the country.

[Brady]

That's it.

[Unknown]

That. And you're in that obviously.

[Brady]

Sure.

[Unknown]

Otherwise I wouldn't be agreed. But there's.

[Brady]

But you used to have to do for a morning.

[Unknown]

Yeah. And then. And what I termed lady. Oh. The lady. Oh. Shows which would be in between hall and Oates and hauling Oates. Sometimes between hall and they would have. They asked for five setups. And then like, where's this one going? And I. Oh, well, it's going to be.

I'm going to do a little Donald Trump.

And they're like, you know, we don't do political. It's not really political.

It's the future.

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

But we're still not sure about that.

[Brady]

Yeah. There's a lot you can call politics. The golden age is not politics. It's what we are.

[Unknown]

The golden goose age. And those eggs are going to cost you.

[Brady]

Are you. Are you a fan of men playing in women's sports?

[Unknown]

No.

[Brady]

Transvestites or men. What if it was just men?

[Unknown]

It is weird. I don't. It's crazy to me that this whole category even came out of nowhere.

[Brady]

Doesn't that seem like it was like. Let's just let this be a thing for a minute. To make us argue.

[Unknown]

Yeah. I don't know. Everything seems like a distraction to me.

[Brady]

I totally agree.

[Unknown]

I agree. I believe in treating everybody fairly.

[Brady]

I don't.

[Unknown]

I know you don't.

[Brady]

There are several people that deserve to be treated unfairly.

[Unknown]

And they're at the other mics in here.

[Brady]

Right. And it's. I'm talking to Brady.

[Unknown]

I. I don't just be nice to people. But it's. It's kind of like there's still rules. There's. There's a way we did something and then all of a sudden it just changed overnight. I do feel that this is the.

[Brady]

Same conversation, though, in Devil's Advocate that our grandparents had about black people.

[Unknown]

That's what they say.

[Brady]

But this is different.

[Frank Caliendo]

They're gonna take all the records away.

[Brady]

Because black people are real. That's exactly why.

[Unknown]

I think if you're. But the. The argument there for me would be that every person, no matter what color their skin is, is born that way.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Unknown]

They didn't change it to be in a different category.

Well, Michael Jackson, and he's the second best thriller that we know.

[Brady]

It's true that there's like a. There's an I can't help it factor to one, and I don't think we've.

[Unknown]

I don't know if I'd say. I can't help it.

[Brady]

Well, you can't help being white. Oh, you really can't help me?

[Unknown]

No.

[Brady]

You show it, like. Yeah, but. No, I'm just like, there's a. This is exactly what. You know, it's again, the science or whatever. But you still, you know, there are people whose brains. But all things can be true at once.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You know, you can have that and just have, you know, it's not fair. But also play some defense. You know, get your hands up. If you got a guy sitting across from me, he's gonna spike. Play some defense.

[Unknown]

So you like transgenders in sports people.

[Brady]

If they spike people, like. And look, there's been one instance of brain damage in volleyball ever.

[Unknown]

And.

[Brady]

And it's that.

[Unknown]

So I still don't know if you're four again.

[Brady]

Yeah, I don't know either. I think I'm trying to work it out. I'm kind of like.

[Unknown]

It was.

[Brady]

I feel bad for her. I don't know if the transvestite person went over and apologized at all or just celebrated the move.

[Frank Caliendo]

I feel bad for the coverage on that. That person. That person's now, like, portrayed, but nobody knows their name.

[Unknown]

I can't find it.

[Brady]

What if it's possible?

[Unknown]

What if the person is like, be better.

Yeah.

[Brady]

Get your hands off. Tell you something, brother. Well, that was the south park episode where the girl was macho man, savage. Oh, really Had a huge bulge and was just beating women at everything. Domina.

[Unknown]

But they always. People, always. The argument is always that it's only a few cases. Well, it's always only a few cases until it's a lot of cases, until.

[Brady]

We don't pay attention.

[Unknown]

But then where do you. Where are the cutoffs? To me, literally.

[Brady]

I like your ideas.

[Unknown]

Where?

[Brady]

The thigh.

[Unknown]

Yeah. I mean, what age does puberty set in and then you try and reverse. It's a lot of. A lot. There was an argument when it gets.

[Frank Caliendo]

Into pro sports and starts affecting.

[Brady]

Sure. It will never do that.

[Unknown]

It won't do that.

[Brady]

Fifteen years old, I didn't have pubes, and I was about 5, 3, 5, 6, 5 7, maybe 130 pounds. And I'm standing out there on a football field tryout in the summer with dudes who are going to go to College next year. 61205. Playing, you know, linebacker and stuff like that. And I'm not being protected. And I was not. I should not have been there. But just because age said, it's time for you to do this. I had to be on that field. And I took a couple of wallops.

[Unknown]

Yeah. I never lived that because I was 13, shaving my back.

[Brady]

Is that true? Did you. Did you pube up early?

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah. I was full Italian.

[Brady]

Did you not go to school? You were a late bloomer. Yeah, man, I was forever. I was.

[Unknown]

That was like when Joey wasn't shaving until I thought he'd be shaving by third, fourth grade, I was. I was shaving once a week by fifth grade.

[Brady]

What?

[Unknown]

Yeah. No.

[Brady]

Yeah, you're 10.

[Unknown]

Yeah. No, you're 11.

[Brady]

No, you're 12 and sixth grade.

[Unknown]

12.

[Brady]

You are Italian. You're 12, 13. Hey, what are you gonna do? What do you need? Birth certificate. Every time I walk in the door.

[Unknown]

Frank, do you have your homework? Forget it. But don't worry about the homework.

[Brady]

Well, there is truth to that. Because every time I've said, frank's birthday comes around, I'm like, how old are you? And you don't know. Most of the time you're not.

[Unknown]

I think I believe I'm 51.

[Brady]

And I used to think you were kidding, but I'm pretty sure just looking at. You're not 100% sure of your age.

[Unknown]

Wait a second. It's. It's 25. So I was born in 74. Yes. I'm 50.

[Brady]

51. Okay. Yeah. So for a while there, it was touch and go on whether.

[Unknown]

And there was a time where I didn't believe the math, where I'd work it out and be like, well, there's a year off. I'm not sure. Yeah.

[Brady]

Larry McFeely celebrated his 30th birthday twice because he had to be reminded by his sister that he wasn't. He was wrong.

[Unknown]

Last year, was it the early. He celebrated early or he did it late?

[Brady]

One year, he celebrated his 38th birthday and then started to tell his sister about us that we said, my 38. She goes, you're 38 this year? And he's like, what? Last year I was 38. Like, no, no, no. And he showed her pictures of, like, them having happy 30th birthday stuff.

[Unknown]

How do you not. That's a good birthday.

[Brady]

He messed up his. His age and had to do it.

[Unknown]

I've been close to it.

[Brady]

He wasn't sure of, like, how to Work out like the monumental 40, 45. Like his birthdays with zeros on the end.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Brady]

He wasn't. He was wrong. He had. He had jumped in too soon. Oh, yeah. Larry's not sure how old he is.

[Unknown]

He's supposed to be good with numbers.

[Brady]

Well, money, now age, look, they always say around 5,000 years ago, but yeah, he's. It's so there are people who don't know. Like, I'm hyper aware of my age. Like, I know exactly. Like I know birth dates and I.

[Unknown]

Have to think about it now.

[Brady]

You do?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

I'm like, what am I gonna be this man?

[Brady]

It's weird, all right. That's strange to me, but. Yeah, but I was. When I was a young kid, I didn't pube up like you guys. So you were that little furry. Oh, yeah, troll doll that was.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I look like that. Trouble with tribbles, were you? I look like Shatner's gonna be like.

Where are these things coming from?

[Brady]

Holmberg's morning sickness. Were you of height? Did you become.

[Unknown]

I'm the same height.

[Brady]

I was gonna say you were the.

[Unknown]

Forward on the basketball team.

[Frank Caliendo]

You maxed out.

[Unknown]

Get into the big guy.

[Brady]

I'm ready.

[Unknown]

Sacalicious.

[Brady]

You were huge in fifth grade. And then that ended.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I was. Yeah.

[Brady]

When did you first start to notice that?

[Unknown]

Okay, that's a great question. I know standing outside. That's all you do is the great questions.

That's all I do.

[Brady]

I'm filled with them.

[Unknown]

And no Democrats are standing during this great question.

The first time I noticed, I was outside with two guys that. Basketball players that were friends of mine. One was on the freshman team with me. Another one was a sophomore playing up at 4. Or freshmen are playing up at JV because our middle school went to ninth grade. And then the ninth graders that were good enough for a couple sports would go play with the high school. But I was standing next to a 6 foot guy and a 6, 5, 6, 6 guy. I looked into the glass, the reflective glass in the front of the school and was like, I'm only coming up to his chin. Like, I thought we were similar in height.

[Brady]

You were unaware.

[Unknown]

I didn't realize I was as fat as I was until I was on. I had saw pictures of me with Tom Cruise on the Tonight Show.

[Brady]

Oh, we've seen that.

[Unknown]

There was a time where I was Louie Anderson. Hey, you're getting kind of big. And I looked at it and I had no idea I was that fat. So I've never known. I think I've just not wanted to know my height or weight for the long.

[Brady]

Was Louie on the Tonight show with you?

[Unknown]

Yeah, I was under the seat.

[Brady]

Oh, really?

[Unknown]

Hey, like Oprah, Frank.

[Brady]

You're getting so big that even I won't.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Anymore. Did Louis ever show you the real Louie the gay?

[Unknown]

Oh, the backstroke in my pool.

[Brady]

Oh, my God.

[Unknown]

Oh, you were going backstroke.

[Brady]

No, no, I was saying that, you know, because he had that. The tendency and I never saw that. You know, the story.

[Unknown]

I knew he was gay.

[Brady]

I didn't know that.

[Unknown]

Oh, really?

[Brady]

Until the story broke in Mesa. They offered that guy $250,000 not to talk about what he'd offered. He tried to pull him over here and get him in the car. And then the guy went to the National Enquirer and said, Louis Anderson offered me quarter.

[Unknown]

The Family Feud. They'd lost him. Family Feud?

[Brady]

I think so, yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Brady]

You gotta control yourself because that was. They went out of their way.

[Frank Caliendo]

They went out of their way to get him out of Family Feud over here.

[Brady]

See that ass back there? Javier Johnson in it.

[Unknown]

You know, I was gonna play Valley. Just hit it toward me.

[Brady]

Ow. It bounces right back over.

[Unknown]

Top five answers are on the board. Show me brain damage.

[Brady]

Anyway, Frank Caliando is here. He's March 8th. March 9th, right. I know you're going to be around the march, right.

[Unknown]

Marching from 8th to 9.

[Brady]

March 8th. He's got some stuff planned around the house. But then on the 9th, you're going to do a show.

[Unknown]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

I just want to let people know what you're up to.

[Unknown]

Yeah, well, I'm actually going to be in Atlanta doing a corporate event if I still have it. Well, yeah, after today.

[Brady]

And we'll talk about that in a second because the ninth. Atlanta, you go play. Who's the company?

[Unknown]

Can you say a group of truckers?

[Brady]

Really? Yeah. Just a.

[Unknown]

Just a group or just some guys.

[Frank Caliendo]

A good group of truckers.

[Brady]

Like just in a. I think, I believe mother truckers.

[Unknown]

That's.

[Brady]

Is that true? You're going to perform. I know, but the mother truckers. I know, I know, I know. So it's not truckers. It's not. You're not the Teamsters.

[Unknown]

It is a truck. It is truckers, but it's not the Teamsters.

[Brady]

Is it a group of truckers or an organization?

[Unknown]

I think an organization of like, like Atlanta or Georgia based truck.

[Brady]

You're not popping out of a cake.

[Unknown]

That kind of Snowman and BJ McKay.

I pop out of a semi. It's. It's Gonna be great.

[Brady]

All right, everybody put your hands together here. We got Frank Caleando coming up.

[Unknown]

Hey, folks. Yeah, John Madden here.

[Brady]

The crazy trucker. Yeah, he's pounding down guys just sitting there staring. We hired you for one thing and one thing only, pretty lips. I can't like an organization of truckers, but if a guy just said, hey, I, I can afford Frank. You guys want to watch him? It's not that you don't do birthday parties.

[Unknown]

I have.

[Brady]

Oh, you have?

[Unknown]

I'm doing one March 9th at the Tempeh.

[Brady]

Oh, that's right. There it is. It's Cato Kalin's birthday.

[Unknown]

No, Cato's was like the March 9th or 9th. Is it the 9th?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Is it really?

[Brady]

So you're going to do his birthday party. He's going to drop out there. We might have them, we might have him sky down for you. So if you want to go to that. Where's the Tempe Improv?

[Unknown]

Tempe Improv is on. What is it on? Rural. And that doesn't matter.

[Brady]

There's the Internet, Frank. All you have to do is Tempe Improv's got. They'll load you up and you'll head over there and you can get a 10pm prep.com, get tickets for that. We did have Kato Kalin in here yesterday, and you told me you, you said you were bumped by Kato Kalin, and that is not true.

[Unknown]

You said, oh, and on the way in on the. That's how I thought it was. And then on the way in, walking up the stairs, Toledo kind of massaged the story to be the story that you told me.

[Brady]

All I knew was that you were coming in. And I found out yesterday that you were coming in today. And then he said he wanted to come in.

[Unknown]

Well, so I texted Toledo and said, still good for tomorrow. Well, Brady met somebody on a plane. Now, I may have interpreted that wrong. That could be the case. But Cato Kalin's coming in and Toledo does look out for me.

[Brady]

I, I, in what way?

[Unknown]

Well, two ways. One, he's like, it's not going to be all about you, Frank. And you want to sell tickets to 10pm prove. All right, go on. And you know, that's a situation John would probably love to have you in. I think he texted that as well.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Unknown]

And then I said, I don't know if there was something in between there or not, but I got the feeling like he didn't want me in yesterday. And then I said, well, probably not a good idea anyways. I'd probably be scared of something John would say.

[Brady]

In what way?

[Unknown]

30 years later, oh, no, not Thomas. I just thought there would be a lot of OJ Stuff. Yeah. And then I came in and did stuff just as bad. I don't know. I. I listen, I was just trying to be amicable. Is that the word? Is that the right sounds?

[Brady]

Right.

[Unknown]

Ambient seemed like it was the best.

[Frank Caliendo]

Situation, but I was just. Sell tickets to the show.

[Unknown]

No, I think it probably. Of course. Probably would have been great.

[Brady]

Dumb answer. He just gave no idea.

[Unknown]

I thought about that for a second, where I was like, I don't know if that's a. If that's a great idea. But then I was also thinking, you know, it was Kato's day. How often does he get that day?

[Brady]

A lot.

[Unknown]

Oh, does he really?

[Brady]

Surprisingly.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

I met him on a plane. He. I think he recognized me on a plane going to Milwaukee from la or vice versa. Michelle and I saw him. He's super nice. He was really great. And you got the. You get the feeling after talking to him that he got put in a really rough situation, A little bit crazy, tough situation. Because he's from Fond du Lac, Wisconsin.

[Brady]

Yeah, something like that. So home of, like, people with absolutely no hate or anger. Like, they're just happy about everything.

[Unknown]

Right.

A suburb. Like, not a suburb, but, like, two counties over from where I grew up, where we just wanted to.

[Brady]

The Italians, the Italian section. And then that one, I was.

[Unknown]

I was watered down Italian. But other than.

[Brady]

You're half Italian?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Oh, I think you're full on out.

[Unknown]

No, no, no, no. My wife. And my wife is full Italian. That means the other half kids are cheese. My kids are 75% Italian. And then my mom is Irish, French Canadian, German.

[Brady]

Oh, wow.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Maiden name is Janky.

[Brady]

Oh, she's all over the place.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Okay. I didn't know that. So she might have been the reason you got so furry. No, no, it was all Italian. All Italian. No.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Back to that. When did you first notice that you had the hair like you're looking down going, jeez, this is early. Didn't you think that's a little early?

[Unknown]

Because I'm not looking at anybody else. I don't know. It's kind of like. You don't know you're poor. If you grow up poor, but you're.

[Brady]

Shaving once a week? In fifth grade.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I think sixth grade. I mean, sixth grade.

[Brady]

Okay. Still, that's early. Yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah. What are you gonna do, not throw it out? I did have A little bit. For.

[Brady]

At times, you'd let the beard go.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Three days. I'd have to shave.

[Brady]

Like, I find that so strange. That is a life. I did not. I barely have to shave now.

[Unknown]

Really?

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. Just my head.

[Unknown]

Yeah. I mean, I. I was just. That was just the. The way life was for me.

[Brady]

Interesting. And you just never took advantage of it.

[Unknown]

Like, what are you gonna do with that? What's the advantage there? Third stage of the werewolf transition.

[Brady]

Being a man in sixth grade. You're ahead of the curve.

[Unknown]

No, there was a guy in ninth grade, when I was in eighth grade, named Rafi Aguillo. Full mustache, Magnum PI Chest hair.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. The full handlebar.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Brady]

I don't have chest hair now.

[Unknown]

Rafael Aguillo was a man.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And I. I was a boy with hair. He was a man. I mean, when you looked at him, you thought he was 35. You thought he was 35 playing, you know?

[Brady]

Yeah. He's got that foreign name, though. So he could have been Rafael. Oh, yeah. And he was in Wisconsin.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah. That's definitely a transplant. Yeah. Yeah. We had a few of those at school. The man that showed up in PE and would have the locker next to you, and you're like, oh, this is bad. As a reminder that I'm behind. I was. I so far behind the whole crew, I would. I told you the story once. I drew pubes on.

[Unknown]

No, I don't. You know, I might have blocked it out. I don't know.

[Brady]

One time, a girl in my cul de sac named Denise had big boobs. Real big ones. And we. And she would play sports with us, which now you're not allowed to do, but she would play, like, you know, we play Wiffle ball or something in the cul de sac or football. And she would always play. And she was pretty athletic, but her cans got huge. She was a year older than me, so she said something to me about seeing them. Well, I'll take a look at your cans if you'd like. In seventh grade. But I didn't, like. It was the day before 8th grade started. I'm publess. I'm an eel naked. I am nothing. She's got these magnificent, huge things. So we go into this little section by a wall that's got some oleanders, and she leans up against the wall and lifts her shirt up. And I'm like, yeah. So I'm just, like, touching them and doing stuff. This is great. And then so I. I'm thinking to myself, she's going to Want to see what you've got? Like, I better get out of here.

[Unknown]

This is how old I was.

[Brady]

13. 12 or 13. And these things were seventh grade. She had adult. She's like the way that Rafael Aguillo was to man. She was a woman.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Brady]

In a, in a, in a 13 year old body.

[Unknown]

Good looking and everything too.

[Brady]

I don't know. She had huge can. I didn't even know.

[Frank Caliendo]

I know I could hear a voice.

[Brady]

Yeah. It doesn't matter if a woman's got a head or not. She's still a woman. So I, I'm squeezing those things and messing around. I'm. I'm about maybe mouth to. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I don't know. And then I literally, I remember asking her goes, does something come out of them? Like I thought maybe they were just always producing with sustenance.

[Unknown]

She gotta drain them, ring them out.

[Frank Caliendo]

And it's been a couple years, but are they still working?

[Brady]

My dad never had that talk with me. I gotta be careful because they're always milking. I don't know what's going on. So I'm looking, I'm squeezing, I'm like, I don't squeeze too hard in case it starts shooting out. I'll freak out. So I'm like, I'll be right back. And I went into the house and I grabbed a pen because it was my house. Stay right there. And she did. She was hanging around the bushes and I ran in the house and I grabbed a pen and I just started to scribble on pubes.

[Unknown]

How did you know that you needed to have pubes to be a man at that?

[Brady]

Because I was in seventh grade and Todd Linkus had a locker next to me and he had a ton of them and like he was loaded up and most guys around that time, almost eighth grade were. There were three or four of us stragglers and big time I was zeroed out. Didn't have like a single like we're coming. It wasn't, it was nothing. So I drew him on and said from a distance, she's not gonna know. What I didn't realize was I'd used a blue pen.

[Unknown]

I was gonna say, what color was the pen?

[Brady]

It was a blue like marker pen. And so you know, I'm sweating, I'm a mess. Go back out there, start playing with them again. I'm like, something's gonna come out of these. I'm convinced. I was about to just like, like she was a milk cow and you're.

[Unknown]

Not bricking up or anything.

[Brady]

Oh, I had a. Wait. It was a publess brick. So it wasn't, you know, so I'm think I don't know what this does. I also had a plan that if worse came to worse, I'd use my thumb just in case. Just in case this wasn't up to snuff. I think the thumb would have done it better. Both of them. She wouldn't have noticed. That was the plan.

[Unknown]

Backup plan.

[Brady]

That was the plan. In case this wasn't enough. So I had all this going on, and then I went back. And I remember this is how dumb I was, is that I went back later, nothing happened. And I took all my clothes and put them in the laundry. And my mom comes from my underwear, like, what is this? It's just blue stain all over the front of it. And I'm like, got no answers here. So Holmberg's morning sickness. I told her I drew on hair. You told your mom that? I had to tell her that. I was playing around and I drew. I drew one.

[Unknown]

No. You got a guy. I was eating a blueberry pie, and then I. In my pants, and I took my underwear.

[Brady]

And then she would smell it and realize, this isn't blueberry, honey.

[Unknown]

It smells like Sharpie.

[Brady]

It smells like Sharpie and kid sweat.

[Unknown]

Unless it was a. Like a sniffy marker.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Oh, that would have. Right up front of blueberry. You know what?

[Frank Caliendo]

Should have thought ahead.

[Brady]

If I had a time machine. If I had a time machine, I'd have run over to the novelty shop, gotten a blueberry marker, done that, and also then killed baby Hitler. Got some blueberry underwear for you, but. Yeah. So her name was Denise.

[Unknown]

If you're a creep. Next to the oleanders.

[Brady]

But I got to feel her cans.

[Unknown]

Want to see some headlights?

[Brady]

Thumbs were hard as a rock, ready to go. Just in case that wasn't coming. That is, the thumbs were boned up. I didn't know how anything worked.

[Unknown]

What does Fonzie say?

[Brady]

That's maybe where I got it. I'm like, fonzie's always saying he's got his thumbs up. Maybe that's a thing. I didn't know what I was gonna do with her, but I drew on pubes because I didn't have them. And there you were, you know, and.

[Frank Caliendo]

That was it, right? Gardening with Denise after.

[Brady]

Oh, Denise hung around. I saw her boobs a few more times, but I. Yeah, it was.

[Unknown]

Were you the only boob connoisseur? Were there other. Was she.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah. I was the only one she liked. She liked me for some reason and wanted to show me her boobs. I would ride my bike by her house a lot. And she would. And at night.

[Unknown]

Oh man.

[Brady]

Bike broke down again. Oh geez. I have another flat.

[Frank Caliendo]

Chains off.

[Brady]

Say we have a pump. So she would stay. She's the one who taught me that when lights are out inside they can see out. You can't see them, but when lights are on inside, I can see in. And so she would flash her lights when she'd see me going by on the bike.

[Unknown]

She's a predator.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

She was 28, maybe.

[Frank Caliendo]

Little long.

[Brady]

It was working. Whatever she was doing was really good. And she would flash the light when she see me ride my bike by John. So I would know. I know that's my grandmother. She's not to be involved. Why in the world.

[Unknown]

Creepy.

[Brady]

Why would you.

[Unknown]

This is Illinois.

[Brady]

No, it's here in Phoenix. Yeah.

[Unknown]

Oh, that's why they're lonely.

[Brady]

Yeah, they're really. And so she's flipping the light so I knew she'd seen me. So I'd get. Just do circles.

[Unknown]

So you're going one of my land tooth by sea.

[Brady]

Yeah. She's lighthousing me. And then it's nighttime. And then in summer and she'd stand in the window with her shirt up and put them on the window and I just look at them. And then I'd ride home and. And make milk. Milk.

[Unknown]

It does the body good.

[Brady]

Oh man. I was. It was. And then I get back on the bike like 25 minutes later, ride around and hope that she would do it again. Sometimes I'd get lucky and she's in a room, see me go by. And then sometimes I would just. I would.

[Unknown]

Those were the days when you're a kid. When you're a young male.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And you like the girl and you just rode the bike by the house all the time.

[Brady]

Over and over. Yeah. Then never thought that you'd get like a restraining order or something, which you should probably.

[Unknown]

But nowadays they probably would.

[Brady]

Yeah, a dad would come out. Back then they had dads. I know it's for new.

[Frank Caliendo]

I still do it.

[Brady]

Used to have dads in houses. That was a thing pretty common when I was growing up. Nowadays that doesn't happen as much. So moms would come out with police. Dads just come out. Get that water. I know what you're doing. And get your God damn boobs off the window. Jesus Christ, Denise. And then you just hear screaming.

[Unknown]

Daddy's beeping in on me, you little pervert.

[Brady]

And her. And her dad's name was Melvin. Mel, I believe it was. Mel Mountain was his name.

[Frank Caliendo]

You don't want to mess with that.

[Brady]

And he came out screaming a couple of times and we just laugh and dried away. And then like five minutes later, we're still outside again. We're just buzzing around like bugs. So congratulations on your early pubes. I did not have that. I had a blue pen. Anyway, that was nice of you to. To distract, because I was going to ask you why you're afraid of Kato Kalin being in the room. I was looking forward if you came in. That would have been fun.

[Unknown]

I would have done it. I would. I just got the feeling that he didn't want me in Toledo.

[Brady]

Didn't want you to.

[Unknown]

Yeah, that's what I thought. But then when we were coming up the stairs, he. He reversed it, like. Yeah, you said you didn't want to come in. I was like, no, I said that later, like, when I was kind of working through it. Maybe he thought of that before I did because maybe I. He was worried about me backing out at the last second, which I wouldn't have done. I would have come in and then just gone and hung out with him, whatever he does for a little bit.

[Brady]

You'd have been fine.

[Unknown]

I would have been, yeah. Yeah. But now we got two days out of it, and you got a full Kato Kalin. I do wish I had been here for. I wish. I do. If you want to bring him back, I'll come in.

[Brady]

Okay, we'll have him. He's still here. He's flying out at three. We'll go down. We'll do another one today. We'll load it.

[Unknown]

No, no. But he'll come back another day. So did he fly in just for this?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Just because you met him on where. Where'd you meet him?

[Frank Caliendo]

We had a mutual friend, and, you know, we were talking about the document, and he basically. We started talking about the documentary and he's like, hey, you want to have Cato in? And he knew him. He's like, you do it. And so he sent him my number.

[Unknown]

Oh, I was. I was thinking you were talking to Cato and he was talking about himself in the third person.

[Brady]

I have a mutual friend. You know, it's me. We're both mutually friends with me.

[Unknown]

I thought you'd said you had a mutual friend that had you meet Kato Kayla. And then Cato's like.

[Brady]

And then Brady calls me when I.

[Unknown]

Have Cato on the show.

[Brady]

I got A chance to get Cato Kalin like, hey, how interesting is that? Sure, why not? And so it kind of blossomed from there. Yeah. Because it was the number one Netflix show for four and a half weeks. Oh, was it really Started January and right into February, the Netflix documentary.

[Unknown]

Oh, right. Yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

He was pretty amazing. It's pretty fascinating to be in the room with. Be one degree removed from. From that. That whole thing, especially as the. As we. From.

[Unknown]

From first degree.

[Brady]

Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's one degree. Yeah, it was. It's interesting especially because, you know, made so much hay out of the OJ Impression for so long. To have that with Cato was kind of.

[Unknown]

Yeah, that's. That's a great.

[Brady]

And he was.

[Frank Caliendo]

Things on that documentary that like evidence and stuff he never knew about.

[Brady]

Yeah, that's pretty great. Yeah. Listen to the podcast. Frank, what do you got for the big board of music? Streets over there.

[Unknown]

All right, Wake Up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop now with two locations, one right there, the brand new one on power Road and McDowell for all your biking needs. And of course the OG on Gilbert Road and Southern for snow and biking needs. And just go to actionrideshop.com, get all the details right there. And on the list, anthrax, Indians for Elizabeth Warren and your buddy Mark's wife.

[Brady]

Did you watch this? Does Michelle ever claim she's some Indian or she 100% Italian? Women who are decent looking women all think there's some Indian in their blood.

[Unknown]

No, she's never once mentioned. Good for her.

[Brady]

Good for her. Sicilian is the Italian way of saying Indian. Oh yeah, it's the rare. It's the rare Indian. Right? It's the rare Italian. I'm Sicilian. So there's some sort of cheekbone thing with that. Yeah.

[Unknown]

Oh yeah, she is.

[Brady]

Yeah. Okay.

[Unknown]

She has those Sugar Hill Gang, Apache.

[Brady]

Oh my God.

[Unknown]

Crying like a. For Al Green, Kendrick, not like us for. Well, pretty much all of them.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Avenged Power, Wolf, Dead, Kennedy's, Limp Bizkit, Pantera, Iron Maiden, Cochise from. And then all the news yesterday from.

[Brady]

Your buddy who's faster fan of any 80s metal. Frank, no, that's enough. It's a faster cat. Doesn't register.

[Unknown]

I don't know that one.

[Brady]

We have to do that. The dude had a full, you know, Natalie Wood situation on one of those rock cruises.

[Unknown]

I thought it was a Tom 80s song.

[Brady]

That's it. That's where they got it.

[Unknown]

Oh, is it?

[Brady]

Right, yeah, that's where they got their name. And he. His Girlfriend fell in off of one of those. You know, those cruises you probably have you ever done one of the comedy cruises?

[Unknown]

Never been cool enough. No.

[Brady]

Cool enough. Isn't that the end?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah. I think that's pretty much.

[Unknown]

No, it's like a good money kind of huge money.

[Brady]

Does cancer do those? Your opener. Yeah, he's on those a lot, so.

[Unknown]

I was being nice.

[Brady]

Yeah. You don't want to be a jerk, but they're. I mean, they're not for, like.

[Unknown]

I mean that nowadays. There are the ones where comics do specific ones, like it's their cruise, and that's a little different. But when you're doing, like, the Princess Cruise or something like that, or like.

[Brady]

This, which is this. The novelty 80s thing that had, like, men at work and Howard Jones, Faster Pussycat, Christopher Cross, like, they just rolled out 80s acts.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Brady]

And people buy tickets that Faster Pussycats lead singer's name is Tammy Down. And his. His girlfriend, I guess.

[Unknown]

Beyonce.

[Brady]

Beyonce fell in and gone after they were fighting.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah, she fell.

[Brady]

She fell down out of the boat.

[Unknown]

The king of the.

[Brady]

Oh, it's hard to fall out of a cruise ship. You have to get some help with that. Just falling. Like, I could see if you're screwing around, leaning over the side, but if you're in a fight, you're not leaning over the side of a boat. That's not a fault.

[Frank Caliendo]

Or she chose to just, you know, she was so distraught on the fight that she decided to end it. But her mom's like, she wasn't like that.

[Brady]

There's Rails. He killed her, no question. I'm gonna go out there and say it right now. And we'll play a little. We'll play a little you're so Fame, their cover song of the classic. And we'll do that. Fester Pussycat will be your wake up song. We could go with Cochise. Did you watch Trump's speech last night?

[Unknown]

I watched some of it, yeah. I watched little bits.

[Brady]

You can't help but, like, enjoy when he makes fun of stuff.

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah.

[Brady]

When he called Elizabeth Warren Cochise. I mean, that's how far we've come in. The simulation being destroyed is that it's presidential now.

[Unknown]

The programmers got bored.

[Brady]

They are wild. The key master has dropped everything. He's getting a coat.

[Unknown]

I'm the key master gatekeeper.

[Brady]

He called another woman in politics. Pocahontas again.

[Unknown]

Again. When I believe that what Trump does is if he sees things on Twitter.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And whatever. Or X. And whatever he sees in there, he doesn't need any backup source. It's just the first thing he sees. And then he'll take it and go with it. Which makes me laugh.

[Brady]

It's endlessly entertaining.

[Unknown]

I started watching it and then I went to do something else. I did some laundry. I came back. He was still talking and went to. Took a shower. Still. I watched the Irishman. He's still talking. Like what? It was an hour and 40 minutes.

[Brady]

That's too much. That's too low.

[Unknown]

And he's got that lean now where he leans on.

[Brady]

It's a gangster lean.

[Unknown]

Just. I was drinking some purple drink and. And they were trying to stop the drink from getting into the country. And so we're starting.

Starting a.

A bigger tariff with Justin Trudwa. Trudy.

Trudy.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Just a tiny little. You play volleyball? You play volleyball because you look like you're good.

[Brady]

It's. It's hilarious. And I don't even care what he's saying anymore.

[Unknown]

No, I. Well, that's part. I try not. I don't want to be political because I start to get political when I watch these guys too much.

[Brady]

Yeah. Me too.

[Unknown]

On either side. So I kind of try to get glimpses and not form too much of an actual opinion on it because plenty of other people are going to have stuff to say. So I like to.

[Brady]

I find it funny when somebody hates it. Like when I see people fuming and Pocahontas over. She even likes it. She agrees with me. Don't you poke out. That's right. And he does that thing. And then everybody show people just fuming. That's when I start laughing.

[Unknown]

But that's exactly. He does it. People who love him want to hear more of that. And the people that hate him cringe the entire time.

[Brady]

Kills.

[Unknown]

Just talking with somebody about that. And that's. So you gotta. I see you messing with buttons. You gotta get to a break.

[Brady]

We're gonna get to a break in a second. We'll do. We'll be fine.

[Unknown]

But it's that. It's that he plays to that element of his people. He wants to get them going. And he doesn't care no what the other. He wants the other side to be really upset.

[Brady]

I think he's more into the idea of making them upset. Yeah. Than his own supporters. Like they'll. They'll come around. I can accidentally hit them every once in a while. They'll be like, oh, geez, that hurt. But so long as it's making the other side.

[Unknown]

If you keep going.

If you keep going to the Well, a lot of people don't go to wrestling. You go to the well too many times. What happens? You're out of the ring, but if you're with me, eventually you turn the corner.

He's a showman.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Unknown]

He knows how to manipulate everyone.

I'm the greatest showman.

[Brady]

Yes.

[Unknown]

I'm gonna break into song.

[Brady]

A lot of people say, pt, Great showman. Not like me. Greatest showman of all time.

[Unknown]

And what I.

What?

I leave them wanting. I leave them wanting less.

It's a lot they said, leave them wanting more.

And I said, that's not enough.

[Brady]

Nobody ever got to him and said, why don't you just cut this one short and have him say, wow, I could have. I could have used more Trump tonight.

[Unknown]

Well, that's what I thought in the Republican convention, where he would have this great momentum, all kinds of stuff. And then his speech.

[Brady]

Two hours.

[Unknown]

No. No teleprompter. We can tell. We know, but he wanted to prove that Biden needed the parallel teleprompter, and he didn't need it at all.

So he's like, I'm going that whole last 47 minutes. The last 47 minutes, all off the top of my head.

Made it all up. We know, because you said the same thing six different ways a lot.

[Brady]

Yeah. It's crazy. I wish I would watch that. I might have to go home and watch it anyway, because the clips I saw, I was giggling from last night. Yeah. I got home after the suns came, and I was laughing anyway. All right, we'll do it a little faster, Pusscat. You got it loaded up? Here we go. It's for you, Tamie. Down. While you're still allowed to be with us. He killed her. You don't fall off a cruise ship. You just don't. After an argument, and we had Kato in yesterday. We all know what happened here. It's Faster, pussycat. Everybody, it's 98, KUPD, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said, fully erect.