03-05-25 - Going Over The Oddness In Frank's Family And Dealing w/Getting Older And Impending Death

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary Episode: Going Over The Oddness In Frank's Family And Dealing w/Getting Older And Impending Death
Release Date: March 5, 2025
Host: John Holmberg
Guests: Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo, Frank Caliendo
Duration: 12 minutes and 17 seconds

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I. Introduction to the Episode

The episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness kicks off with Dick Toledo promoting a FanDuel bonus offer (00:00). Shortly after, Brady Bogen welcomes listeners back and introduces the main topics of the day, highlighting the presence of comedian Frank Caliendo who joins the conversation (00:35).

II. Light-Hearted Banter and Family Anecdotes

Brady and Frank engage in playful banter about Frank's absence from the previous show and the possibility of featuring guest Kato Kaling (00:51). They delve into humorous yet dark family stories, employing exaggerated narratives about relatives involved in criminal activities:

• Brady: "I am the second worst person Cato has ever met. And that's very rarely am I number two, But I recognize when you're not the goat. And I am probably the second worst person. Cato." (02:01)

• Frank Caliendo: "There's a connection." (03:15)

The conversation oscillates between humor and mock-seriousness as they recount tales of uncles with dubious pasts, blending comedy with subtle hints of real-life family dynamics.

III. Transition to Serious Discussion on Aging and Death

As the episode progresses, the tone shifts from light-hearted jokes to more profound topics concerning aging and the inevitability of death. This transition is marked by Frank Caliendo sharing a deeply personal story about his mother's deteriorating health (07:57).

IV. Frank's Personal Story: Mother's Illness and Desire to Die

Frank opens up about his mother's severe health issues, including multiple surgeries and chronic pain, which have led her to contemplate ending her life:

• Frank Caliendo: "My mom might be on the way out today. I'm going to visit. I'm going to." (07:58)

He explains the medical complications she faces, such as having part of her colon removed and living with an intestinal bag, alongside persistent pain and a declining heart condition:

• Frank Caliendo: "She's on a bunch of painkillers. She had part of her colon. This is almost 80 years old. Part of her colon and intestine cut out. So now she's got a bag and she's got a bad back and she's got a bad heart." (08:04)

Frank discusses the emotional turmoil this situation has caused him, expressing feelings of helplessness and emotional exhaustion:

• Frank Caliendo: "I just kind of go, I have no soul." (10:35)

V. Emotional Responses and Support Among Hosts

The hosts respond empathetically to Frank's revelations, sharing their own experiences with family loss and the complex emotions intertwined with such situations:

• Brady Bogen: "That's horrible." (09:16)

• Frank Caliendo: "Nobody wants to. Yeah. Why. Why do you want. I." (10:37)

They discuss the challenges of supporting loved ones who are in immense pain and the difficulty of navigating conversations about death and dying.

VI. Conclusion and Final Remarks

As the episode nears its end, the hosts attempt to lighten the mood, returning to their signature humor while acknowledging the gravity of the earlier discussion:

• Frank Caliendo: "She'll see John Madden in heaven." (11:49)

• Brady Bogen: "As always a pleasure." (12:04)

Brady promotes Frank's Sunday night show, wrapping up the episode with a mix of levity and heartfelt thanks:

• Brady Bogen: "Sunday night you go see him at the 10pm Prof. 10pm prev.com. It's Frank Caliendo while he lasts. It's 98 Arizona's most powerful rock radio station." (12:04)

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Notable Quotes

• Frank Caliendo on his mother's condition:
  "She's on a bunch of painkillers. She had part of her colon. This is almost 80 years old. Part of her colon and intestine cut out. So now she's got a bag and she's got a bad back and she's got a bad heart." (08:04)

• Brady Bogen expressing empathy:
  "That's horrible." (09:16)

• Frank Caliendo reflecting on his emotional state:
  "I just kind of go, I have no soul." (10:35)

• Closing humorous remark by Frank:
  "She'll see John Madden in heaven." (11:49)

Insights and Takeaways

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully balances humor with heartfelt conversations, showcasing the hosts' ability to navigate sensitive topics with empathy and authenticity. Frank Caliendo's candid discussion about his mother's struggle with severe health issues brings to light the emotional complexities of dealing with aging and impending death. The supportive interactions among the hosts highlight the importance of solidarity and understanding when confronting personal tragedies.

Listeners are offered a blend of entertainment and genuine human experience, making the episode both engaging and relatable. The inclusion of notable quotes and personal stories ensures that even those who haven't tuned in can grasp the depth and nuances of the conversation.

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Timestamps Reference:

• 00:00 – Intro and FanDuel Advertisement
• 00:35 – Brady welcomes listeners and mentions Frank Caliendo
• 02:01 – Brady discusses family stories
• 03:15 – Frank comments on connections
• 07:57 – Frank shares personal family struggles
• 08:04 – Detailed account of Frank's mother's health
• 09:16 – Brady expresses empathy
• 10:35 – Frank reflects on his emotional state
• 11:49 – Frank makes a humorous closing remark
• 12:04 – Brady's closing remarks and promotion

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This summary provides a comprehensive overview of the episode, capturing the essence of the discussions, key moments, and emotional beats, ensuring clarity and engagement for those who have not listened to the episode.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[Brady]

Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com for God's sakes. And Frank Caliendo at the 10pm prep Sunday night. We were talking about a lot of horrible stuff there for a little bit.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, I love it.

[Brady]

Yeah, I know. The one thing that we were talking we didn't mention last night. You weren't here again. Scared of Cato Kalin. I would love to have had you in here yesterday.

[Frank Caliendo]

Next time we got to bring Gato back.

[Brady]

All right, we'll bring him back. Are you paying for that?

[Frank Caliendo]

I might.

[Brady]

Got a Discover card. Yeah, you gotta have a Discover card. We just found out Kato Kaling has a Discover card. But last night, we're at dinner, Brady, Brady's friends, Cato, me. And I excuse myself to go pee, and I go pee and everything's fine. I leave. There's laughter. Not at me, but laugh. Maybe at the table. Happiness, joy. I go pee. Minute and a half come back, Kato's in tears. And I mean like sobbing. Glasses off, faces moisture completely. And I'm like, what happened? Evidently, when I leave Brady's like, lose anybody in your family recently or anything? Like the whole conversation. And I don't know how it happened. From us dicking around to who else have you lost in life through terrible death that you didn't expect? And Cato just lost his brother.

[Frank Caliendo]

No.

[Brady]

So he's sobbing and I come back to that again. No impressions that have ever killed him. Responsible for it a little bit. He didn't help?

[Unknown]

No, because I couldn't hear what's going on. I see a guy welling up and I'm like, he's talking to our two friends.

[Brady]

How did you not know what was going on? You were at the table.

[Unknown]

Well, I saw him well up because they were in a discussion by themselves. I was kind of talking to Karen. Then they just went over there, just.

[Brady]

For a split second, and then he started sobbing. I come back. Have you ever come back to a table where the person is just sobbing where they were fine a second ago?

[Frank Caliendo]

All the time. It's called having a family.

[Brady]

That's right. That's right. I don't know anything about it. High five, Brett. No kids. That's beautiful. Yeah. I've never, ever, ever, like, left a table fine and come back, and nobody seemed upset that it had happened, and then it was just normal again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had to. I did have the opportunity after making a joke about that, too, because I said something about. And your brother, he's dead now. Yes. And just trying to make him cry again. Yeah. And I said. And Kara, the lady was there, she started laughing. I'm like, I can say this, and I don't say this phrase too often. Usually it's. It's close to this. But I am the second worst person Cato has ever met. And that's very rarely am I number two, But I. I recognize when you're not the goat. And I am probably the second worst person. Cato. Although he was friends with Phil Spector and Robert Blake.

[Frank Caliendo]

There's a connection.

[Brady]

Yeah, he killed. He kills. Sort of. From a distance, anyway. You ever have any friends that kill you ever been a part of a murder?

[Frank Caliendo]

Your family, I'm sure.

[Brady]

Yeah, a little.

[Frank Caliendo]

Same Italian. There's a pretty good chance.

[Brady]

Uncle Frank.

[Frank Caliendo]

Phil.

[Brady]

Phil. Sorry. Yeah. Uncle Phil might have killed, perhaps.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm sure.

[Brady]

You think?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, plenty.

[Brady]

Were you pretty sure a few of your family members were.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, there were a lot, yeah. Yeah.

[Brady]

Are they still.

[Unknown]

You never leave.

[Brady]

I'm not at liberty. You're not? Have you ever been in this mix since you've been a celebrity, that they're willing to take care of you in any sort of way?

[Frank Caliendo]

No.

[Brady]

No, they don't step up. That's a. Yes, that's an Italian.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Talking about eating some gaba ghoul and saying, hey, Frank.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, I mean, there would always be calls at. At Christmas time from those who couldn't make it.

[Brady]

Really?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Like who?

[Frank Caliendo]

Uncle Phil?

[Brady]

Well, one got a call from Sing Sing. Do you accept the charges?

[Frank Caliendo]

Not really. There was a. You passed the phone around. Everybody talked to Uncle Phil because he was incarcerated, either in prison or on witness protection at the time, and he.

[Brady]

Would still make the calls.

[Frank Caliendo]

He showed up sometimes.

[Brady]

Yeah, I know. You said he'd show up.

[Frank Caliendo]

He just started coming back.

[Unknown]

Uncle Phil.

[Frank Caliendo]

He just started coming back. And, like, when I was dating Michelle, my wife, And I said, it's my Uncle Phil. He hasn't been around for a while. And she's like, why not? I'm like, he's been on witness protection. And she called her dad, and he's like. Michelle's dad was like, you know, are there windows? Duck. No kidding. So is your.

[Brady]

Is Michelle's family that way? No.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, her dad was a special agent. He was.

[Brady]

He was the opposite.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Oh, he was in Cleveland. A special agent, years and years ago. He used to work for the Homeland Security, or Department. Not Homeland Security before.

[Brady]

Whatever it was before.

[Frank Caliendo]

Was it called the defense.

[Brady]

I don't know what Homeland Security was.

[Frank Caliendo]

Not Homeland Security. Was not. It was nsa. It was nsa.

[Brady]

Oh, okay.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Frank Caliendo]

National security.

[Brady]

Yeah. No kidding. Yeah.

[Unknown]

They were there when all those bombings were happening. Cleveland.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

He was in D.C. and he's like, it was just crazy. No kidding. Just go. And he said, there were spies everywhere.

[Brady]

My family, like, boring.

[Frank Caliendo]

Everybody would just, you know, you look and try and figure out who the spies were. Just people sitting in. You gotta imagine this is the 60s, 70s.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

You know, the spies are just sitting there on park benches listening.

[Brady]

Did your. Did he find you funny when you first met Michelle's family? He found you funny.

[Frank Caliendo]

One of my favorite, craziest moments was I was actually in Baltimore. He had driven there from Cleveland just to see me. Michelle wasn't with me. I don't think we were married yet. Maybe we were married. I'm not sure. And he came, and I was selling CDs afterward or DVDs, and I was signing them, and some woman wanted me to sign her ass. And I'm like, that's my father in law. And. And I go, I can't do that. My father in law's right here. And he goes, frankie, go for it. Sign that ads.

[Brady]

It might be the last one you ever see.

[Unknown]

You got.

[Brady]

I'm not saying nothing. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. I didn't. I don't have any interesting family stories outside of my grandfather may have killed his dad. Outside of that. Yeah, it's pretty good. But he burned him in a barn.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, that's interesting.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Brady]

In a way, it's unconfirmed speculation.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's all unconfirmed.

[Brady]

I'm talking to Italians. They said, what are you talking about? Nobody ever proves your sister. Huh? Oh, my sister killed my uncle. That's true. My sister killed my uncle. But nobody admits that. And I'm the only one that's trying to get her thrown in jail for it. She killed my uncle with. He's. Deep vein thrombosis. And she's a massage therapist, but she thinks she's a doctor.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, no.

[Brady]

And so he was complaining his legs hurt. And I'm like, you're not supposed to rub legs when they hurt at your age. He was like, 51, 52. I'm like, you're. You sit at a desk all day. And then she's like, I can fix this with your chakras. And she starts talking about chakras and, like, alignments and whatever. Seven days later, his heart blew up because she burst open all.

[Frank Caliendo]

Pushed it all in.

[Brady]

Yeah. Yeah. And I always say, you killed Uncle Bob. And then my Uncle Dennis here, he's got cancer. And he was just here a couple weeks ago, and she started working on him like, you stay away from her. She kills uncles. She's an uncle killer.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

So. Yeah. What are you going to do? He's still alive. Because I think he took my advice. Yeah. It can't be proven. Your stuff's kind of neat.

[Frank Caliendo]

Kato standing her house.

[Brady]

Yeah. Yeah. Kato's in the backyard. Just standing there. This is an unexplained charge. I'm not really sure what this is. Anyway, well, Frank, it's always a pleasure.

[Frank Caliendo]

Thanks for having me.

[Brady]

You kind of feel like you're mad now. No.

[Frank Caliendo]

Why would I be mad?

[Brady]

I don't know.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm just tired. This is tough.

[Brady]

Are you going to cry? Brady asked him some questions about his family.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

Have you recently lost anyone you love? Very much. Unexpectedly. While John's peeing. Let me ask you this.

[Frank Caliendo]

I mean, you want me to be honest?

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

My mom might be on the way out today. I'm going to visit. I'm going to. That's why I'm going to Milwaukee.

[Brady]

Yeah, no kidding. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were telling jokes. Go ahead. What's the punchline?

[Frank Caliendo]

No, she's sick. She's sick and I. I'll make it stop. I was wondering if your cousin was. Is it your cousin? She could come do. If your own.

[Brady]

Oh, my sister. She'll kill her.

[Frank Caliendo]

She could come and do some.

[Brady]

You want her to rub her down?

[Frank Caliendo]

Just.

[Unknown]

Let's get this thing done.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, actually, I have a weird thing where my brother called me the other day or text me the other day. She said, mom's in really bad shape and she's asking to die. She wants to be done. And I was just like, I'll come. Tell her it's good, but I don't.

[Brady]

Want her looking for your Permission.

[Frank Caliendo]

I don't want her. Of course she wants that. She's on a bunch of painkillers. She had part of her colon. This is almost 80 years old. Part of her colonial and intestine cut out. So now she's got a bag and she's got a bad back and she's Bad heart. And she's like, I don't want to be here. And I'm like, is the bag forever? No, not supposed. Okay, not supposedly. But then she had to go into others. There might be an infection, and she's not healing the way that they were hoping.

[Brady]

Oh, my.

[Frank Caliendo]

So she's. That's why she's asking. Like, maybe let's just.

[Brady]

Let's just let this go.

[Frank Caliendo]

Can. And that. I had my brother ask the surgeon. Or is that an option? They said, yeah, it could be an option, but we're going to fix the pain meds right now. Well, you fix that first and then we see. But.

[Brady]

But she's still complaining.

[Frank Caliendo]

But if it's. And it's.

[Brady]

It's.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's. It's not so bad. But she's massively depressed. No, that's.

[Brady]

That's horrible.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

It didn't work. It doesn't work on me again. I'm the worst person you'll ever know. Well, I hope.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, I just. I don't know why. I just feel I.

[Unknown]

It does help to hear that. Like, when last time, you know, I went and saw my dad, we. My brother, sister and I basically said, it's okay. You can go. Because he was saying, yeah, he's like, I'm ready for two years, I'm ready.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. He said that's why I think if I didn't have the kids enough.

[Brady]

Mine's. Yeah, same. I'm the same way of. Like, I got.

[Unknown]

My mom. You know, what's going on, dad, it's okay. She's gonna be good.

[Brady]

Everything's good. Yeah.

[Unknown]

And week later.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Brady]

He took you checked out.

[Unknown]

Yep.

[Brady]

Yeah. I envy that. Yeah. I've got no real. What else is there?

[Frank Caliendo]

I don't know.

[Brady]

You and I have had that same opinion for a while, but I think.

[Frank Caliendo]

That'S why I could do that. As much as I love my mom, but I just don't want to see her. And if she's saying, I don't want to live in this pain for the rest.

[Brady]

Oh, that's horrible to hear.

[Frank Caliendo]

How long it could be. Nobody wants to. Yeah. Why. Why do you want. I. And my brother's trying to do everything he can to keep her alive and I get it but at the same time I just kind of go, I have no soul. So.

[Brady]

Well, the comedy Frank Caliendo Sunday at 10pm Prom if you're interested. Heading over there.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hey, I'll tell you.

[Brady]

How you guys doing tonight? All right, I see it. We got a lot of time.

[Frank Caliendo]

Toledo.

[Brady]

You. We're like your mother. We're almost out of time.

[Frank Caliendo]

Toledo. When the middle of the mom talk and you don't come and look at you press point to your watch.

[Brady]

Toledo just came in while he said my mom's on her last legs and he starts pointing to his watch. We're all on her last legs. We gotta go.

[Frank Caliendo]

We got. We got money spent on this. You know there's.

[Brady]

Yeah. Speaking on euthanizing stuff this segment.

[Frank Caliendo]

That was a call.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hey John, you know that story about Frank's mom was really a tear jerker.

[Brady]

But yeah, make sure you get the ads in there. We can't, you know we got to pay the bills anyway. All right, well thanks for sharing that. That's. I hope that all that probably won't.

[Unknown]

Be in the best of over the weekend.

[Brady]

It might be on the Saturday. It probably will be. Will be. It's a great joke at the end there. There was a couple of really good. You know it's a long and then.

[Frank Caliendo]

She'Ll see John Madden in heaven.

[Brady]

Hey folks.

[Frank Caliendo]

John Madden. There's Frank's mom. Boom.

[Brady]

You know I never liked your son. I don't like him.

[Frank Caliendo]

Is it true that you love to cheez its.

[Brady]

Thank you Frank. As always a pleasure. Sunday night you go see him at the 10pm Prof. 10pm prev.com. it's Frank Caliendo while he lasts. It's 98 Arizona's most powerful rock radio station.

[Frank Caliendo]

He said fully erect.