03-05-25 - Unique Experience Of Taking Kato Kaelin To Suns Game And Interacting w/The Gorilla - State Of The Union Is Like Clown Show Now And Trump Called Attention To Volleyball Player Struck By Trans Player

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary (03-05-25)

Podcast Information:

• Title: Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona
• Host/Author: 98KUPD | Hubbard Radio
• Description: Holmberg's Morning Sickness on 98 KUPD is Arizona's #1 Morning Radio Show. John Holmberg attempts to entertain, question, and disturb as many listeners as possible with assistance from Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, and Dick Toledo. Tune in or log onto 98KUPD (97.9fm, the 98KUPD app, or www.98kupd.com) weekdays 5:30a-10a.
• Episode: 03-05-25
• Release Date: March 5, 2025
• Title of Episode: Unique Experience Of Taking Kato Kaelin To Suns Game And Interacting w/The Gorilla - State Of The Union Is Like Clown Show Now And Trump Called Attention To Volleyball Player Struck By Trans Player

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1. A Memorable Evening at the Phoenix Suns Game

John Holmberg, the host, shares his unique experience accompanying Kato Kahlen—famous for his connection to the O.J. Simpson trial—to a Phoenix Suns game. He emphasizes the rarity and uniqueness of the evening, particularly highlighting his only possession of a photograph featuring both Kato Kahlen and the Suns mascot, the gorilla.

"I am currently the only person on the planet with a photograph of Kato Kaelin and the Phoenix Suns gorilla." [01:20]

Holmberg recounts their day, which included golfing with Kato, attending the Suns game with friends, and dining at the Rah Rah Room. He observes the behavior of fans and the interactions between Kato and the mascot, providing insightful commentary on celebrity interactions and public perceptions.

"You can feel when somebody's being recognized. [...] It was interesting to see." [02:16]

2. Interactions with the Suns Mascot and Cato Kaelin

The discussion delves into the antics of the Suns' mascot—the gorilla—whom Holmberg describes as performing repetitive and sometimes annoying gestures like clapping and nodding. Holmberg humorously critiques the mascot's behavior while also noting moments of genuine recognition between Kato and the mascot.

"He's the guns and the over. And then the clapping for no reason, which I don't understand." [03:27]

A particularly amusing moment occurs when Cato attempts to engage with the mascot, leading to an unexpected and humorous photo opportunity.

"He realizes that's Kato Kaelin [...] So through all the observation and everything else, and then he's in the..." [03:27]

Holmberg emphasizes the challenges and awkwardness that come with interacting with celebrities, especially those with a complicated public past like Cato Kaelin.

3. Reflections on Celebrity Fame and Personal Memories

Holmberg reflects on Cato's enduring fame and the public's mixed feelings towards him, stemming from his association with the O.J. Simpson trial. He shares personal anecdotes from his childhood, illustrating his long-standing connection to O.J. Simpson through memorabilia and family discussions.

"My first memorable toy outside of my teddy bear was my O.J. Simpson action doll." [10:14]

The conversation touches on Holmberg's friendship with Frank Caliendo, another celebrity impressionist who feels uneasy about revisiting O.J. Simpson-related material, highlighting the lingering impact of past events on present relationships.

"Frank gets that uncomfortable with O.J." [12:03]

4. Political Commentary: State of the Union and Elizabeth Warren

A significant portion of the episode tackles the recent State of the Union address, critiquing its presentation and the behavior of both political figures and the audience. Holmberg specifically targets former President Donald Trump's derogatory nickname for Senator Elizabeth Warren—"Pocahontas."

"In State of the Union, a man called a woman Pocahontas." [19:13]

Holmberg vents his frustration over the casual racism embedded in such nicknames and discusses the broader issue of women falsely claiming Native American heritage, using Elizabeth Warren as a primary example.

"She has absolutely none. She's the whitest woman in the world." [22:35]

The hosts engage in a robust debate about cultural appropriation, the misuse of DNA testing, and the stereotypes perpetuated by such claims. They explore the comedic yet troubling aspects of how identity is portrayed and perceived in modern America.

5. Controversial Incident: Volleyball Player Struck by Trans Player

Another focal point is a disturbing incident highlighted during the State of the Union—a volleyball player being struck by a transgender player. This event becomes a springboard for the hosts to discuss gender dynamics in sports and societal reactions to such occurrences.

"Should dudes be able to spike chicks in the face with volleyball?" [36:45]

Holmberg draws parallels to personal experiences, sharing childhood memories of being hit by balls during sports and emphasizing the importance of defensive posture. The discussion evolves into a reflection on responsibility, safety in sports, and the societal implications of gender integration in athletic activities.

"The least you could do is clap for a girl whose head got scrambled by a Wilson." [35:42]

The conversation underscores the tension between humorous anecdotes and serious societal issues, balancing personal stories with critical analysis of contemporary events.

6. Mascot School and Behavioral Norms

The hosts briefly explore the concept of "mascot school," questioning whether there is formal training for mascots to perform repetitive actions like clapping and nodding. They share past experiences interacting with mascots, highlighting the mixed reactions from both children and adults.

"Have you ever seen people, like, mauled by a volleyball before?" [41:24]

This segment serves as a light-hearted interlude amidst more intense discussions, providing listeners with relatable content and amusing observations about mascot behavior.

7. Concluding Thoughts and Listener Engagement

Towards the end of the episode, Holmberg reflects on the day's events and the feedback received from listeners. He expresses appreciation for the unique experiences shared and reiterates the show's commitment to entertaining and provoking thought among its audience.

"Holmberg's morning sickness, Cato Kaelin was great. And also happened to go to, without question, the best damn Suns game of the year." [26:28]

The episode wraps up with a call to action for listeners to engage with the show through various platforms, ensuring continued interaction and community building.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• "I am currently the only person on the planet with a photograph of Kato Kaelin and the Phoenix Suns gorilla." — John Holmberg [01:20]
• "You can feel when somebody's being recognized." — John Holmberg [02:16]
• "He's the guns and the over. And then the clapping for no reason, which I don't understand." — John Holmberg [03:27]
• "My first memorable toy outside of my teddy bear was my O.J. Simpson action doll." — John Holmberg [10:14]
• "In State of the Union, a man called a woman Pocahontas." — John Holmberg [19:13]
• "She has absolutely none. She's the whitest woman in the world." — John Holmberg [22:35]
• "Should dudes be able to spike chicks in the face with volleyball?" — John Holmberg [36:45]
• "The least you could do is clap for a girl whose head got scrambled by a Wilson." — John Holmberg [35:42]

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Conclusion: This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness offers a blend of personal anecdotes, celebrity interactions, and sharp political commentary. John Holmberg and his co-hosts Brady Bogen, Brett Vesely, and Dick Toledo navigate through humorous tales from a memorable Suns game, delve into the complexities of public figures' reputations, and critically analyze contemporary political discourse. The episode stands out for its candid discussions, engaging storytelling, and the hosts' ability to balance humor with serious societal issues, making it both entertaining and thought-provoking for listeners.

Transcript

[Dick Toledo]

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[John Holmberg]

Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com Good morning everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Wednesday. It is 5:45 this. It's the morning sickness. My name is John Holmberg. How are you? There's Brady, there's Brett, there's big Dick Toledo and and we are off and running for another perfect day here in paradise. Glorious. Glorious. Beautiful. It's going to rain later this week. Right before we went to the air, something got my eye awful. I man let yesterday Brady got we had Kato Kalin on the show yesterday from the O.J. simpson fame.

[Brady]

He's a good dude.

[John Holmberg]

He really was a good dude. So yesterday Brady golfed with him all day and then go back and then we went to the Suns game last night with a couple of Brady's friends and wonderful people. And then Cato joined us and so we went to the Rah Rah. We had a dinner and then off to the Suns gang. And I am currently the only person on the planet with a photograph of Kato Kaelin and the Phoenix Suns gorilla. I'm the only one in the world. I'm the only one in the world around. Also. I was, I am a constant observer of abnormalities on the planet. So my night last night was more just looking around because you sense, you sense and feel when somebody's being recognized. Hang out with somebody who's got notoriety at all. You can feel when somebody looks at them and says even to a certain degree, us and the radio thing, you know, when somebody's like, oh, I know that guy.

[Brett]

Get that feel.

[John Holmberg]

You get that feel like, oh, they're paying attention though. They listen to the show or whatever. When it's with somebody who's got real status or real fame or celebrity, it's, it's almost more uncomfortable because there's, they're less likely to approach them. There's a lot of Staring. There's a lot of, like, talking, like double takes and things like that. So I was watching that a lot yesterday. A lot. And at the Rah Rah Room, it was going on fairly frequently and it was interesting to see. And then I think at one, the gorilla in the suit made a human noise when he went by. And I said, can I? Because he goes by on a scooter. We're walking around underneath the arena, kind of in the bowels of the arena, heading back towards the club. And then the gorilla goes by on a Segway. And Kato's like, oh, my God, that's the gorilla. Like, you forget people who aren't here. The gorilla is exciting. Like, we're tired of the gorilla. Like, we seem like, there's that stupid ass gorilla. He's fun, but we like him. But it was like, there's the mascot. Oh, my God, there's the gorilla. Gorilla turns around in the Segway and I'm close, and he looks at us and he does the stupid gorilla.

[Brady]

The guns.

[John Holmberg]

The guns and the over. And then the clapping for no reason, which I don't understand. Just talk. All right. The clapping and the pointing. I'm like, oh, it's just so. It's just so muggy to me. It bothers me. It's pantomime. It's like having a mascotry, John. I know, and I hate it. I don't know if you were trained, you mascots to constantly do the mugging and the. And the nodding. Everything's like, yeah. I'm like, all right, calm down. Let's go. Guy in the outfit. But there's no say, let's go. Like, that would be fun if the gorilla just fell aside, said, let's go.

[Brett]

He just leans and puts the hand.

[John Holmberg]

He does the ears. He does the Hulk Hogan. The mime, he's miming. It's like having a mime. No one would ever want the mascot to be a mime. They're annoying. Same thing. So he goes by. I like the gorilla. Don't get me wrong. I've just seen. I've seen the show for 50 years. It's a long. It's a long gorilla show.

[Brady]

He never seems age either, you know?

[John Holmberg]

No, I know. Hey, look, he's staying in shape, whatever he's doing, so. And he does some neat stuff, but he goes by. And when he spun around and saw, you know, when he was done with the nonsense and the pointing and the clapping and the nodding, which all I said was, hey, gorilla. Or. And Cato started Yelling. He turns around and he's nodding and he's clapping. And I said, hey, can I get a picture of you two? There's nobody around us. And he looks. And I heard the gorilla go, oh, in the suit. Like, he realized that's Kato Kahlen, I think. Or something happened on the Segway, or he was honking up a loogie. He'd been eating popcorn, got one of those holes stuck in the back of his throat. But I think he recognized Kato Kalin. So through all the observation and everything else, and then he's in the. Of course, then both of them start pointing at me, and I'm like, guys, just pose for the pictures. Like, there's no reason. It's a still photograph. You. You nodding. Doesn't. It just blurs things up. So there they were in the thing, and Cato gets the picture with the gorilla. I am the only person alive with the originals of Kato and a gorilla, which is phenomenal. It was great. But then later, we go back to the seats. Cato's getting. I think he's getting tired because he had a full day. Long day. And so we're at the seats, and there's a little girl about six and her brother sitting in front of us. And. And then their parents. And Cato starts, for no reason at all, rapping as if he were retarded. And then I'm like, what is going on? You know, I'm from Phoenix. I play the ball. Triple the ball dribble. I'm like, oh, we're losing them. It's over. This is. This is the thing. And then he, like, pretends to answer his sunglass case. And he's in. The T shirts were coming, and he acted like he caught something. This little girl's watching him the whole time, but she's not watching with entertainment value. She's watching like, what is going on? I've never seen. I've never seen a kid under the age of 8 with a face that was more. What the. Is this in my life? Hilarious, though. And he knew it. So he's playing on that. And he acted like he caught his own sunglasses from the things. Oh, my God. And I mean, he's going like, everybody looked like there was a murder. Oh, my God. I got. Look what I got. I got one. And he's holding up sunglasses. And I think some people are like, wait a minute. That guy just gets sunglasses out of the gun, the gorilla's gun. And the little girl's all in. Like, a hundred percent all in. So he's entertaining a little girl with his mentally retarded character and his guy who catches sunglasses and he's singing, and it was funny. And then. And then I see, like, she wouldn't turn around. Her dad taps a little girl on the shoulder and says, turn around. And he looks back to say he's sorry and realizes. I think it was the observation of knowing when somebody goes, oh. Oh, my God. Like, you turn around. He goes, I'm so sorry, guys. And he just stared. Like, he's looking right at him, like, wait a minute. And he's like, okay. And Katie was just all dancing, and it was the greatest things to watch. And then whispering to each other. The moment it took, like, they waited, like, a minute. Like, we wouldn't hear or see them. They were a row ahead of us. The dad leans over to the mom and gives the. There's two kids in between them and gives the thumbs behind us. Like, do you see what's behind us? Gives the thumbs. She looks back and she's like, I know. Like, guys, we can hear you. It was hilarious. And that's just his world. It's so strange, no matter where he goes. We walk by, and the people we were with. Greg and Kara.

[Brett]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

And Greg and Kara go by with us to the seats. And Kara was just counting out people that she could hear as we were walking ahead of him going, that's Kato Kaelin. It's just so weird to live a life with his type of fame because immediately you're not thinking, oh, remember Kato Kaelin from, you know, the first episode of Mad tv? No. Everybody knows what he's from. And then they start talking about that. It was. It was insane. It was so fun to watch. So fun to be a part of. Just because I'd taken that approach of being like, I'm just gonna watch tonight. I'm just gonna. I'm gonna cuck the evening. And, man, did I. It was fun.

[Brett]

When we. We played golf yesterday. It was the. I didn't. It was the media invite for the LPGA event, which is happening in a couple of weeks. So we go there, and they're doing the rundown of. There's what you expect at the tournament. And there's a couple of people there that I haven't seen a long time saying hi to him. And one friend, you know how he was talking about how people feel about Cato and the whole trial. There's that. And Cato talks about. Oh, there's still some occasional hate. One of the guys that I hadn't seen in a while just comes up and goes, what the F are you doing with this guy?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They associate him with, like, with the death. Yeah. Like, it's like he was tied to it. It's just a guy who was close by.

[Brett]

And then all the closet just finally.

[John Holmberg]

Like, once the door opens, there's a lot of people asking. It was fun. We had a good time. And you don't realize. You forget Cato is going to be 66 years old in a couple of weeks.

[Brady]

Oh, no kidding. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it'll be 66 in a couple weeks. Yeah. And it's. Or, yeah, few days. It was. He was just great. It was. We had a great time. A lot of fun. It was interesting. It was like living in a simulation. For me, having been someone so strangely interested in that trial. My first memorable toy outside of my teddy bear was my O.J. simpson action doll. And I could change him into a suit and then change him back into a Buffalo Bills uniform and complete with little tiny rubber cleats. Like, he had a headband.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And then sometimes I would say, I would dress him up and we'd go to Hertz. I believe it was, don't let's not offend. He'd fly through the airport, but I would. I would, you know, put him in the suit and he would ironically date my sister's Barbies. He was like. And he was huge. It was one of those foot and a half dolls where Barbie's just a little tiny. He was big, and it worked out great. He'd tower over the other Barbies, and.

[Brady]

Then it was like, some blondes, you.

[John Holmberg]

Know, what are you gonna do? It was fun to pop Barbie's head off. I didn't realize that that was, you know, foreshadowing, but that's what we used to do. And try to spread Barbie's legs open against her will. It was stupid things like that. Laughing. And then I change him back into the football thing. Just mash into stuff. But that was my first. So OJ Always had, like, this weird thing to me. I was always kind of like a. O.J. was my.1 of my ties back to childhood. So it's just strange. And then to be with a guy so affiliated with the Mess. It was fun, but watching people react to that, it was so much more than a celebrity. It was so different than, like, hanging out with Caliendo or when Ralphie got recognized all the time because he was just so blobbing big. And people knew immediately, there's Randy Johnson has that kind of like, immediate draw, because you can't miss him. 610. But this one was different because when people recognize him, they immediately go to a. To an event where they were. You know, it's just that whole tie in. And you can see it. You can see it on their faces. The. The odd connection that we all have to that because of if we were alive at that time, because what went on. So I want. I told him, I said, come on down again this morning. Frank Caliendo's coming in. Frank is going to join us this morning. And Frank was going to come in yesterday, but was too afraid, essentially, from what I was told, he said, he's going to explain that. I said, you were too worried. He goes, no, I got bumped by Kate. Okay. And I'm like, you didn't get bumped. You can come in anytime you want. That's probably not the best for me.

[Brady]

Why?

[John Holmberg]

Because of O.J. and me and things. And so he gets nervous. So if I did OJ With Cato, it would have made him pucker so badly that he would have just.

[Brady]

He gets that uncomfortable with O.J.

[John Holmberg]

Huh?

[Brady]

O.J.

[John Holmberg]

When we had the podcast and I would do O.J. he would always. He loved he, Ray Lewis and O.J. i think Frank liked a lot, but I don't know that he was, like, overly cozy with it. He would. His head would always drop, go, okay, okay. The whole time, like, okay, okay. And then Frank would be wildly uncomfortable about it.

[Brett]

A couple times yesterday, when we're on the golf course, he talked about it twice. He's like, the O.J. you did. He's like, it's freaky.

[John Holmberg]

It's scary. It's like, yeah, he liked it last night. Yeah, he was. He made me do it for a couple people. It doesn't. When you're looking at me and I'm doing O.J. i don't think it's nearly as good.

[Brady]

Well, he looked down when you were doing it. He wasn't looking at you.

[Brett]

And he got caught up a little bit like that.

[John Holmberg]

That was another thing. You're a jerk. Yeah, I, last night, told me. He goes, I was standing by myself and I was in the rah rah room, and he was. Cato was talking to his friends, and I went over and talked to another guy. And he goes, when you were doing that, he was so upset. I'm like, I don't think he was upset. Oh, my God, you could feel it through the radio. And I'm like, I don't think he was upset. I think it was Just different. I think it was something he's like, that's just strange. And, you know, it's. The bringing OJ Back from the grave was interesting to him, and he complimented the impression a lot. And he said, and. But everybody thought they put that on top of it. Like, oh, it bothered him. I'm like, I think 30 something years later, he's okay. I think. I think he'll be all right.

[Brett]

He says that.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. What are you gonna do?

[Brett]

It's, you know, someone said mention the thing too soon. He's 30 years.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. This guy says, I got an email says, john, I have to admit, I was wrong. I thought having Kato on was a. An example of flaming out, bro. But, boy, I was wrong. It was really interesting. I enjoyed it. I feel bad for all the hate that Cato's gotten over the years. Yeah, it's a strange thing. Why would that be an incident of flaming out? I don't understand why. Talking to Cato, oh, that's flaming out. I guess maybe some people, but it was. Yeah, it was pretty fun. Anyway, Holmberg's morning sickness, Cato Kala night was great. And also happened to go to, without question, the best damn Suns game of the year. Freaking Suns. I get people emailing me after and texting and stuff. Oh, that was the best. Like, oh, they could be making a run now. And I'm like, wait a minute. We're happy with this. They showed energy and effort for the first time all year. And by the way, not for two of the four quarters. They were down 23 points for a reason. And keep in mind, they played a team that's been flaming out for a while, bro. The Clippers are. Clippers caving in on a lot of teams. If they. They. They showed some heart that one point last night, Kevin Durant, right after the sun's made a play, started to do his hands at the crowd, like, come on, get up, get up. And the crowd looked at him like, is he okay? Like, we've never seen Kevin Durant even actually acknowledge there's a crowd there. He's trying to pump the crowd up. And finally they're like, he's talking to us. He wants us to actually get excited. Like they care tonight. And they did. He and Budenholzer got into a little scuffle on the sideline. He. And there I am. I told Cato, he goes, oh, man, this is exciting. I'm like, this is the first time all year since the. Since the first week that there's this. This kind of excitement in the building. It was insane. He gets to go to the best game all year by far. And I got to see him with the gorilla. You know, the pictures are. There's a lot. And then this was him. Brady. This was him pretending to be a retarded rapper in front of the kids. I've got a couple. Yeah, but the gorilla and stuff. Is there a thing in mascot school where they teach you the. The clapping point? We gotta get over this.

[Brady]

The chicken been doing it for years.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, that. That whole. It's just over. Exuberant. Like, just do something new that it's so freaking weird to have or talk to me. And then the nodding. Like you. He's so affirmative. Like, I could just say, oh, I've got anal fistulas. And you get two. Two fingers in the. Yeah, all right. I've got a clap and walk away. But I've never. I've had two moments with mascots that are. One with Chip and Dale when I was a kid where the one. Chip or Dale, not sure which, wouldn't let me go at Disneyland. Like, it was awkward. And I really enjoyed being in that warm. It felt warm embrace. Very fresh. The embrace was sweet. I had strange dreams about Chip and. Or Dale afterwards. It was very weird. A very comfortable, childish moment. And then the other one was that we helped Toledo's wife when she had that school room full of special kids. I don't know if she still does that, but we read the Lorax to them. And you dressed up like the Lorax because you look just like him. And we put Brady in orange and made him read. And then Howler was there from the Coyotes. And I remember he put his arm around me and. And did the point and the clap. And then he goes, love the show, man. Big, big fan. I'm like, don't talk. Don't talk. You ruined. Yeah, don't do that. If you're gonna do that, do it all the time. You can't just. You can't. No, I'm serious. I'm like, I'm not. I'm breaking. I'm breaking all the rules. I'm like, stop it. When Howler says that through the mask, you're like, okay, no. If you're allowed to talk, then talk. If you're not allowed to talk, don't talk. Do the clap point nod thing. But, yeah, it was strange, but, yeah, I don't know if she's still teaching those kids, but every mascot has that moment. And kids even seem like put off by a little bit. I Told the gorilla a couple nights ago, he was in my row, and he started to walk towards us. And I said, I'm not getting up, because I was tired of that. He'd already walked down there once. I'm not getting up for this. You figure it out. You're a gorilla. Climb something. And he just clapped and nodded, of course, and then climbed over the seats in front of us and then turned around and looked back and pointed at me. I think I kind of pissed him off. You couldn't see a facial reaction because it's his mask. You forget. All right, enough gorilla people from out of town. The gorilla's a thing. It's Mickey Mouse. It's Mickey Mouse at the. I'm sure people at Disney are like, oh, Christ, there's that idiot Mickey walking by. But for us, it's like. Which is why I always thought the thing they did at Disneyland when they made it all digital, like, you can find the characters on your phone.

[Brady]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They're all gps, so you don't have to. It's not even, like, surprising. The fun thing for me, when I.

[Brett]

Was run over there and track him down. Oh, Woody over, by the way, right?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, Woody standing over here by Tomorrowland. And so you go run to him. Yeah, yeah. It's a neat technique, but it was neater. It was like a celebrity sighting. When you were just a kid and you're walking, your mom would tap in the shoulder and goes, look. And there's Donald Duck. Like, hey, kid. Like, oh, my God. You weren't sure you were gonna run into him. Like, it was a treat. Now they're like, okay, there's Pocahontas is standing next to Cinderella. We could go over there.

[Brady]

Elizabeth Warren.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. Elizabeth Warren was there. He called her Pocahontas last night. I know. And then. Oh, my God. In State of the Union, a man called a woman Pocahontas. Oh, he took a swing. It was great. Yeah. But I mean, I always thought that was a better way. Going to Disneyland, being surprised. I wouldn't count it as a celebrity sighting. If I'm like, all right, I've got a tracker on George Clooney, and he's at Nobu. So we're going to go over there and just wander. Oh, there he is. Like, it's. That's Pokemon. But when they find. Like, they find you or they're close to you, it's different. So when the gorilla just pops up, people get excited.

[Brett]

At Kings is Island, the entrance, you had to go out in character, like, scooby Doo coming out. When I was in Scooby Doo, you come out of this door in this little cave, so it's kind of hidden, but people are just walking down there. So you come out and they're facing the other way. So you can walk right up to them and back. They have no idea. Then they turn around.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Yeah. Because they're not. They're not going. I knew where you were or you were in the area. I just. I don't know. That's kind of a stupid thing to me. But it's. It's my way versus a new way, and kids like that stuff, and parents love it because, you know, they spent. They spent $400, and the last thing they want on the drive home is some kid going crying and whining about not being able to see Mickey or Goofy or what. You make sure. Which ones do you want to see? I want to see Mickey, and I want to see Donald. All right, let me find those sons of bitches. We're going to wander around. We're going to make your day, kid. There they are.

[Brett]

Yay.

[John Holmberg]

It doesn't add up to me that that would be exciting that you found them. But who am I to say that your way, your stupid way is better? It's dumb, but there's a. Yeah, but my way is better. But I don't want to judge you and your dumb way versus my awesome way. Now, the other thing that I got to see just highlights of was the State of the Union, and it does. I watched it, and. And it was all that.

[Brady]

It was cracked up.

[John Holmberg]

That's what he did. What he does. My favorite part was you come out.

[Brett]

Of there like, let's go.

[Brady]

I fell asleep.

[John Holmberg]

Did you. Oh, you calmed down.

[Brady]

It was an hour and 40 minutes. I mean, I watched most of it, but at the end of my.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, you know, I've got a mandate. I've got a mandate, and I just want to do it. Al Green, quiet down. I've got a mandate.

[Brady]

That was funny.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. When Al Green gets. Oh, that was one guy that stands up is Al Green. His name is Al Green. He said, texas representative. And he started screaming, you don't have a mandate. And all I could think of is, let's stay together as he could do that.

[Brady]

I didn't know who it was at first. So I'm like, google, like the dude that stood up, you know, all of a sudden says, al Green.

[John Holmberg]

I'm like, al Green.

[Brett]

What?

[John Holmberg]

All right, you know what? I'm going to take a little break. Here and let Sammy finish his song. Go get him, Sammy. I'm Al Green. Same thing. Loving you forever. Look great. Doing a great job, Al. Great job. Called Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas in front of everybody. And I love the Pocahontas. The Pocahontas jab resonates with me a little bit more because my friend Mark has been calling his wife Pocahontas for years because of her insistence that she is Native American.

[Brady]

I've met her. She doesn't look.

[John Holmberg]

She isn't at all. The DNA test, and it came back with absolutely zero. And she still says her grandfather's Cherokee. And he even said, I'll stop calling you Pocahontas after the DNA test if you stop telling people you're Cherokee. She can't. And I used to joke all the time. Years ago, all women who are decent looking have this weird thing in their 10% Native American. All of them. My ex girlfriend, years and years ago, you know, I'm 10% Cherokee. I'm like, all girls with all hot white girls with cheekbones think that they've got Native American blood in them. And I'm like, turn around for a second. Like, nope, you've got an ass. There's no Cherokee in you at all. There's nothing about you. I know the Cherokees are laughing. The Indians are like, aha, Cherokees have no asses. But it's true. They've got cheekbones. When they went to the shop to buy features on their body, they skipped ass and went right to cheekbones. And when white women think, oh, I'm exotic, they think it makes them more interesting to say that they have Native American blood. You don't. And this DNA thing has ruined it for a ton of hot girls to get there. I'm 10% Cherokee. What are your other 90%? Break it down. Well, I know my grandfather. No, no, break it down. Like, what are you, 90% One thing. 10% Cherokee. How did it work out this way? They could never answer it. No, but they always had an answer. You dated a girl, especially from here, that who started to tell people she was part Indian? Oh, yeah, we've all. Everybody's dated. Oh, I'm 10% this. They never pick Hopi. They never pick. They never patchy. Always Cherokee. Because that's what their genes used to say. There was a product that said Cherokee. They could understand Cherokee. It's a Cherokee Chief Jeep made a Cherokee red soda. Yeah. They never said Apache. They never said anything. Yeah, they never said anything. Yeah.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

They never said anything outside of the one that's been branded by other stuff. Nobody ever said I'm a descendant of Black Hawk. They will say I love Black Hawk sometimes, but I don't think they're saying an Indian thing. But Cherokee's the one. And she said all the time, I'm 10% this, 10% that. And they did the DNA test, and she has absolutely none. She's the whitest woman in the world. In fact, one of the percentages that came back was just generally white. That is so true. It's painful. It's just European. Caucasian says mayonnaise. Yeah, you are. You are white out. You were invented by one of the monkeys. Mothers. It is. It was amazing. And so she still does it. No, my grand. I'm telling you, my grandfather. And then. So my friend. Well, Mark will tell her, well, that means your grandfather and you aren't related because he didn't show up on here at all. So they still call her Pocahontas. Been doing it for years. Doing it for years. And then Elizabeth Warren comes up and Trump starts calling her Pocahontas. And I'm like, this is awesome. And sure enough, he did it again last night. Even Pocahontas agreed. Pocahontas was even. She was it. Gotta love Pocahontas. She tried to get college. And if you look at Elizabeth Warren, I mean, how offensive is that to any Native American? It's like, look, it's all been washed out. You might have had Native American in you, but it didn't stick. It washed out. The first shower you took as a baby, your first bath that you were given, washed off all the Native Americans. And she got high cheekbones. So I know at one point, I've never seen pictures of Elizabeth Warren when she was young. I can only imagine that she's got high cheekbones and maybe was attractive. And that was her story, because that's true of almost all. And ladies, please stop. I don't know why that. Why you think that we're impressed by it. You know what you want impressed?

[Brett]

I haven't heard it in a while.

[John Holmberg]

It's been a minute. Yeah. You know since when those DNA tests. Yeah, those DNA tests got invented. And the lady's like, oh, geez, no one ever says that. I'm 10% Azkabani Jew. No one ever says that. That's how I get my cheekbones. It's got to be some exotic, you know, oh, Indians. My mother. And they were in a wagon train. And no, that didn't happen. And that's the fun thing. It's like if you knew you're 10% Indian, shouldn't you know the story on how like, shouldn't it be like, oh, my great grandmother was violated in some sort of cross country savage trip? Is that her?

[Brady]

That's young Elizabeth Warren.

[John Holmberg]

Young Elizabeth Warren. High cheekbones. Is that her in college here? Yeah.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Not great. Not terrible. Not Indian.

[Brady]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Not even a little bit. Maybe she braided her hair once and thought she looked like the Land O Lakes girl.

[Brady]

I mean, come on.

[John Holmberg]

No, she is straight out of grease cracker. She should have saltines written across her face. All right, now we're losing it. Yeah.

[Brady]

No way.

[John Holmberg]

The bangs. Nope, Nothing. And it's hilarious. So she tells people that. And if you're a woman doing that right now, men never do that. I'm 10% Native American most of the time. If that's the case of a man, he's probably 10% Native American. We're not saying it to be more interesting. And women weren't saying it to try to get into college for cheap, which is the reason I would do it. That seems reasonable.

[Brady]

Just because I'm at a Slayer show doesn't mean I'm hoping, you know, I mean.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't hear a lot of that. Like Navajo and stuff like that. I hear Cherokee. Cherokee's the one that's their go to. So somewhere in Oklahoma, Texas, Panhandle, there was a dude just did a lot of having at white women as they.

[Brett]

Interaction in the Midwest.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. As they were heading west, they had to stop and pay a toll. And that was take a little Cherokee pump. And then maybe some great grandparents got knocked up and moved on in. But yeah, stop it. Yeah, the DNA test stopped all that. But hot girls in the. Especially in the 90s, we're dying to be somewhat Indian. Holmberg's morning sickness. I don't know if that's true. Back where you grew up, Brady, there's a lot of Indian influence.

[Brett]

Yeah, there's a. But there's a bunch of different tribes.

[John Holmberg]

Well, you had like the Scioto Country Club and Olentangy river and all that's named after tribes and stuff and so. But I don't know if the women of Ohio were trying to be interesting by saying that they were part of the Indian culture.

[Brett]

He wanted to really, since he spent some time in there, named themselves after Tecumseh. They were related to.

[John Holmberg]

Well, the Indians where you guys were were more just like loincloths and like the leather pants. The out west were the big feather heads. And so I think they were the more like Lone Ranger Indians, like Tonto's leaders and stuff. And I think that appealed to the mothers of these. You know, how you got your high cheekbones. Your great grandfather, his mother was raped by a savage in Oklahoma and it gave us our blood.

[Brett]

Jumped by a Huron Indian.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. You don't hear a lot of that. Hurons or Algonquins, it's always Cherokee.

[Brady]

I mean, I could have pulled off the Indian thing with Ironized Cody, you.

[John Holmberg]

Know, I mean, because he's Italian. I might have bought it. If you or Larry McFeely, when I first worked here, said, I'm Native American. I was like, that makes sense. A lot of rock. You guys. Kind of olive skinned. I'm not going to question it. But, you know, if Lane downstairs, you know, started to giggle out, oh, I'm Native American. Like, I'm a Sioux warriors. I'm a princess's daughter. No, you're not. Oh, no, I'm five generations removed. Oh, stop it. I'm not even a Holmberg for real. Go back and trace my ancestry. I come from the bastard side where they had to give up a baby because it was basically my fifth grandmother removed. It was a whore, a teen whore. It's a great story and I love it. You think Trump was a dictator? You think he had some rules in Sweden back in the day, in the late 1800s, going into the 1900s, the king basically said, if you have. If you get pregnant out of wedlock, I get the baby and I get to put it somewhere good because your poor ass isn't raising it, you whore. And it was basically like, no whores raising a baby. In my country, you get knocked up before you're married, not doing it, and you're not even getting married after. If we find out you were pregnant before still taking it. So somewhere on there it just says, bastard boy, Property of Sweden. And he gave it to the Holmberg family and they didn't want him. So he was nothing. His name was John. John Holmberg.

[Brett]

A good lad.

[John Holmberg]

No, not really. He was all right, but he kind of was. The whole family moved away and left him there. John had to find them twice. And then his kids, they couldn't shake him. No, they kept showing up. I think the King kept giving him the address. All right, they're over there. They're in Stockholm now. So God damn it. Across the fjords and, I don't know, sleep in a loop in bed. And then he'd go over and have some lewd fisk and knock on the doors. Like, he's back. We have to go again. And then they'd moved to. They moved to Pennsylvania without him and his family. And then he. I don't know if he ever made it over, but his kids did finally, after. It was bad. All of it was. All of it was just mean. And they do the research on that. You're like, we're not even. I don't even know what my heritage is. So when I hear a woman say she's 10% Indian, I'm like, okay, you don't know any of that. You're a mutt. You're an American. We're all kind of, drop the Cherokee.

[Brett]

Go with the Seminole.

[John Holmberg]

Lot of casino money, at least the word semens in it. And if you're trying to scam, get into this casino winner. I had a dude who looked like Brett work with me at Tony Roma's. His name was Tony Smith. And Tony married a Native American woman and then just told everybody he had some Native in there, too. And I think both of them were getting checks. She was getting, like, $1,300 a month from the res because she was legit. Like, legit. Like, there's no doubting it. Like, she looked like. She was like. She would, like, loom you a blanket in, like, a day. She had. She could make you one of those cool Indian blankets they do for tourists in a day. Just had that look. He kind of looked Mexican to me. His last name was Smith, so I was very confused. But he's like, yeah, you know, to, like, the 10th of the month or something like that. He'd always get a check from the casino. Like, that's pretty awesome.

[Brady]

I'm in. Give me a turquoise ring.

[John Holmberg]

I'm in. None of these broads with high cheekbones are ever thinking that way. Cherokee. Cherokee doesn't have any casinos. You're either Hopi or. I don't even know what the other ones are. Hila River.

[Brady]

We'll go with that.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna lie about it. Get on the ball, sister. Pocahontas.

[Brady]

Say, AKA Odom or whatever. Yeah, that's it. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But no, there she is. Look at her. Glowing white. And that's an amazing thing. She get a forehead so big. It's a good thing she's white, so birds don't fly into it. There she is. Pocahontas. She even agrees with me in a few things. Yeah, he was.

[Brady]

It was funny, though. It was like watching a ball game almost. They show up with signs and everything else, and I'm like, what the hell?

[John Holmberg]

Well, and then the brilliant gaslighting of what I saw, which was to give statistics of, you know, crime stats and things. You have to cheer for, you know, the troops and, like, people who have been, you know, in terrible situations and, you know, and they like Trump. So he can say, we helped with this. We did. This is a great thing. And a secure border and all that. And all those things that they say. And they won't clap, and it just makes them look stupid and they're pouting. Both sides do it. It's annoying. I won't clap for him. It's like, you're a child. That's a good thing. Like, if this person's legs got blown off and. And of course, you know, and did he have the girl who got spiked in the face?

[Brady]

Yeah, she was there.

[John Holmberg]

I just.

[Brady]

That is so they wouldn't clap for that either.

[John Holmberg]

They don't clap for the girl who got her head knocked off by a man playing volleyball. I didn't see the part if they showed her, but I knew. I definitely read that she was gonna be there. I'm like, oh, that's a total. It has nothing to do with Trump loving her. Everything to do with. Are you gonna get up and stand for that one? Meanwhile, while you're fighting to get men to play women's sports, this chick's head got scrambled because she couldn't react quick enough to the. They must have shown that clip on the news 20 times yesterday of that dude. And then they'd highlight him, and he's sitting there ready for his spike, and he gets up and spikes this chick square in the face. She had brain damage from it. Wow. Hilarious. Not the brain damage part.

[Brady]

They all had their ping pong paddles like they're at an auction or something in there with different signs. I'm like, come on, stupid.

[John Holmberg]

Just knock it off. Clap for the things that you think are good, and then sit down, shut up for the stuff you don't, but you got it. You the girl that got face mashed by the transvestite on a volleyball court and you're not. You're not on her side is hilarious.

[Brady]

They kept showing Pelosi, and it's just like, oh, she's sitting there with her big cane.

[John Holmberg]

It looked like she had a 40.

[Brady]

Ounce in her hand.

[John Holmberg]

Why did she have a cane? I don't know. Because she can't walk anymore.

[Brady]

She looks like she had a bottle of booze in her hand the whole time. It was just holding on to it was her Staff.

[John Holmberg]

She's crunk.

[Brady]

Yeah. Pretty.

[John Holmberg]

I like it.

[Brady]

She had a crunk cup sitting there.

[John Holmberg]

It's all a simulation, and we're all kind of in the middle of it. Just want to say real quick, look up there. It's a little girl whose face got mangled by that creepy, weird man woman playing volleyball. And a lot of people would say, maybe she's not good enough to play, maybe not fast enough to knock it back. But he hit it at over 300 miles an hour, and she can't remember her father's name and never will. I'm here to acknowledge you and your future. And no more men and women. And they didn't clap for that. They stayed seated for a girl who has brain damage from the thing that they love. That's what we're arguing about in this country. That's what we have a divide over. Should dudes be able to spike chicks in the face with volleyball?

[Brett]

Little statement. A little statement on the power difference, maybe.

[John Holmberg]

Remember how funny it was in Meet the Parents when Greg Focker played the pool volleyball and mashed the bride right in the face and she's bleeding out. What'd you do that for, fucker? That's all I think about with this one. And we. We run it like, I don't know, maybe he's just really good. And then I. You know, in fairness, the girl that took the shot to the face didn't look like her hands were up. And, you know, like, in a. In a posture of play, they were just kind of at her side when she took the shot. Years and years of boxing. I know one thing and one thing only, and that is defend yourself at all times on a. It kind of goes the same when you've got a. And, you know, that's a dude and he's about to spike, and you're the defense. Get your hands in a defensive posture. You know, at least be able to move him. You'd have deflected a little of that. Her face ate all the ball. It's a look. She's. She. She is alive. So we can. It's funny. There's. I don't like that they're letting men play women's sports, but that is a funny moment because that. Yeah, that spike, it reminds me of our softball. Dave Cooper hit it at that girl and said, there's no defense for good hitting, and he hit her square in the ovaries with a softball. That woman can't have babies because of a simple rec league softball game where one guy chose to hit a ball at her on purpose because he had that skill in slow pitch softball to place it.

[Brady]

And I would have signed every girl I was ever with up for a rec league if that was the case. Are you kidding me?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We're getting hysterect. That would have been team hysterectomy. Dr. Lyn's Sunrise Urology team. We'd have had hysterectomies. We had pulling them out like crazy. I mean, this dude hit her right in the baby maker and I mean, and then started flapping. There was no defense for good hitting. Meanwhile, emt, you can hear the ambulance already because people knew the second it happened. We need to call an ambulance. And they ovaries everywhere. People laying. That's what it reminded me of when I saw that lady take that spike to the face from that man. It isn't right. But also, she's on the court. There's an argument to be made. There's two things can be true at once. Dude shouldn't have been on the volleyball court. Girl knew she was and decided to play.

[Brady]

Did she know it was a dude?

[John Holmberg]

I mean, I think so.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Brett]

And would there have been a difference?

[Brady]

I don't know. I mean, if it was a broad hit.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, absolutely. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. No, I've seen women play volleyball. Not even close. High school or wherever. It's low level shots. Sure. She stares at the word Voight or Wilson as it heads directly. She probably Wilson right as it hit her in the face. She took the punch. No defense at all. It's like a Rocky movie, just taking shots. In a way, a little bit her fault. You see a dude lining up a spike. Get your hands up. She takes the shot. And I mean, it puts her on her ass. Hilarious. My dad taught me that in the. We were playing pool football when I was about 11, and we had a Nerf football. And it was one of the cruddy ones that didn't have the coating on it. Just the minute it hit water, it became an anvil. Yeah. And he threw it and I wasn't paying attention. And I, you know, turned my head to catch it and it was already passed. And it hit me in the face and it knocked me out. I'm laying on the side of the pool and my dad made it my fault. God damn it. You throw the boy. Get your hands up. What? Ah. Crying. Get in the house, weakling. I'm like, oh, God. I think you hit me in the face with a. An anvil.

[Brett]

Lead ball.

[John Holmberg]

It was horrible. But, you know, it taught me if you're in a sport, defensive positioning of your hands, very important. You can't have metric side. Baseball, football. And I do have to say this too, about that. I've seen probably in my lifetime, about 10, maybe 11 dudes take line drives off the face in baseball at about 50ft. Two of them got messed up pretty bad. Most of them just kind of get knocked out. This girl's life changed from a volleyball. I mean, it seems like she might have had a little bit of a weak head anyway, don't you think? I've never seen people, like, mauled by a volleyball before. I think he would hurt to get faced by a volleyball at, you know, crazy speech.

[Brett]

But crying, you know, maybe a little tears out of the eye. Just like when you get hit in.

[John Holmberg]

The face with a basketball, you break your nose even. Maybe. But it doesn't change. It doesn't make it so. You get to go to presidential addresses as the victim. It could have, you know, I know people have been hit by cars who weren't as victimized as this one is.

[Brady]

Oh, my God.

[John Holmberg]

You see it?

[Brady]

I've never seen the size of this.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, the dude that spikes. Yeah, it's. That's not it. That wasn't the spike. That's not him. No, that's a basketball player. That was. That was that dude. To prove a point, trying to find maybe.

[Brett]

Is that her right there in the corner for San Jose?

[John Holmberg]

No, San Jose State. Wasn't it? It's hard. It'll be hard to find. You have to know the girl's name. But I disagree with dudes playing in women's sports. But also, it's a little bit your fault. You were out there. Defend yourself. Get your hands up. That's all I'm saying. Saying. And a volleyball. You might have had a bit of an eggshell head if your volleyball days resulted in brain damage. And never once did you hit your head on the court. It was the ball itself. Ah.

[Brady]

What's the dude look like? Did he look like Michael Clark Duncan? Like John Coffee and Green man just now.

[John Holmberg]

Monster Motors Bike it now. Dog tired boss. Anyway, but yeah, that guy. They didn't clap for her. And the least you could do is clap for a girl whose head got scrambled by a Wilson. I don't know. Maybe I'm insensitive. Oh, wait, I am. Let's get a wake up song, shall we? A good one. And we'll scream it together. 5, 8, 5, 9, 800. That's the number. It's 98 KUPD. Wake up. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect. 98 kupt.