03-06-26 - FULL SHOW - FRIDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness — 98KUPD

Episode: 03-06-26 - FULL SHOW - FRIDAY
Date: March 6, 2026
Host(s): John Holmberg, Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, Dick Toledo
Podcast Theme: Arizona's top-rated, longest-running morning show—irreverent comedy, local culture, weird news, and open-topic riffing

---

Episode Overview

This Friday’s episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness leans into its core formula: raw, unpredictable, and boundary-pushing morning radio that blends local Arizona flavor with national headlines, cultural stereotypes, dark humor, and the team’s signature gross-out anecdotes. In typical fashion, John leads the crew—Brady, Bret, and Toledo—through sprawling riffs about dental pain, Asian food nostalgia, Iran, NBA oddities, and the everyday absurdities that make the show a cult favorite among Valley listeners. Special guest stand-up Gina Brillon joins for an interview packed with energy and rapid-fire wit. Add in the daily contest codewords, listener emails, and the notorious “Guadalupe Squares,” and you’ve got three solid hours of KUPD mayhem.

---

Key Discussion Points & Memorable Segments

1. Opening Banter: Dental Pain & National Dentist Day

• [02:36–13:50] John opens with a rally for a Friday show, quickly pivoting to a horror story about Brett’s excruciating tooth pain. The team trades stories about the worst dental pain imaginable, leading to gory details about nerve exposure and crude homemade remedies.
  • Memorable Quote:
    “If you’ve ever had tooth pain, like nerve exposed tooth pain, it’s the worst. It’s a disaster.” — John [03:14]
• The discussion segues into emergency dentistry (or lack thereof), 1940s suicide stats due to dental pain, and advances in dentistry.
• Brett, still in pain, earns the nickname "Gummo" for the episode.

---

2. Local Nostalgia: The Legend of Pong Pong

• [05:16–10:49]
  Nostalgia takes over as John reminisces about eating at ‘Pong Pong’, a legendary (and sketchy) Mesa Chinese restaurant. He credits Pong Pong’s sweet & sour shrimp for helping him endure a severe dental abscess, hilariously connecting the taste of infected pus to the flavor of the shrimp.
  • Memorable Quote:
    “Pong Pong’s food might be better with infected pus… Pong Pong was dirty good. That was a place Brady would go.” — John [09:34]
• The crew investigates if Pong Pong is still open, celebrating its survival and longevity in the Valley.

---

3. Stereotypes & War Talk: Iran, Women’s Sports, and Lake Life

• [24:41–43:24]
  The conversation spirals comedically from Fox's coverage of war to Iranian culture, especially the existence of women’s soccer and volleyball teams despite the country's reputation for religious conservatism. The guys imagine what recreation in Iran looks like, riffing on Iranian “lake weekends," BBQ, and Brady’s alter-ego “Iranian Brady.”
  • Memorable Quotes:
    “Imagine Iranian weekends with Igloo coolers and jet skis... We're so fed propaganda that we picture no fun at all over there—just pounding anvils and yelling 'Death to America.’” — John [35:00]
  • “Iranian Brady's out there making goat ribs on the Green Egg, watching ‘Tehran State’ take on Michigan.” — Crew riff [36:11]
• Stereotype humor abounds, but the hosts self-deprecate their cultural ignorance and acknowledge their “American-ness.”

---

4. Current Events: War as TV & News Satire

• [48:39–54:00]
  John likens following real-time global conflict coverage across cable news networks to watching a TV drama:
  • “Are you watching this new show—War?” He assigns comedic personas to the various channels: Fox as “explosions and high-fives,” MSNBC as “sad, weepy family hour,” CNN as neutral confusion.

---

5. NBA Talk: The 5’7” Japanese Chicago Bull

• [55:15–64:34]
  The crew attends a Phoenix Suns vs. Chicago Bulls game and fixates on a “5’7” Japanese player” taking the court—railing on both NBA diversity efforts and perceived tanking.
  • Memorable Quotes:
    “You’re telling me there isn’t one black guy on a G League team better than a 5’7” Asian?” — John [57:01] “If you want to watch some good basketball, no one’s ever said, ‘You should see this 5’7” Japanese guy!’” — John [70:19]
• Comparisons to “Linsanity,” Spud Webb, overt tanking, and shady management abound.

---

6. Culture Breakdown: Family Life, Travel, and Immigration

• [43:41–54:49]
  The squad explores stereotypes of Iranian leisure, then shifts to discuss Indian and Middle Eastern immigrants, food, and Americanization, all with a blunt, comedic edge and running jokes about BBQ, flag-waving, and the American Dream.

---

7. Science News & Oddities

• [103:13–107:58]
  Brady’s “Science News” covers asteroid threats (debunked), why chimpanzees and women both love crystals, the science behind Thin Mints tasting better frozen, and the eternal promise of a Uranus probe joke.
  • Memorable Quote:
    “Chimps, bass, and recently divorced women in their 40s all have the same attraction to shiny things…” — John [106:11]

---

8. Gross-Out Videos & Web Content

• [110:45–119:45]
  The infamous “Brady Videos” segment this week is particularly disgusting—featuring, in detail and with revulsion, videos involving bodily fluids and adult content, leading to genuine wretches and peak reactions from the team.

---

9. Gina Brillon Interview — Stand-Up Guest

• [121:15–137:07]
  Stand-up comedian Gina Brillon brings quick wit and chemistry. John is immediately thrown by her confidence and refuses to conform to typical “guest” radio logistics (like adjusting the studio microphone). Topics include Puerto Rican family, past relationships (“last boyfriend you stabbed?”), comedy/family balance, crazy exes, and the perils of parenting. Gina drops genuine and comedic wisdom:
  • Memorable Quote:
    “Division is intentional. Don’t fall for the tricks.” — Gina [136:41]

---

10. Guadalupe Squares & Games

• [149:04–173:32]
  The “Guadalupe Squares” return with signature impersonations (Trump, Howard Stern, Alex Jones, Lou Holtz, Charles Barkley, “Iranian Brady,” etc.). The squares riff on Metallica, war, dentistry, and pop culture. Standout moments:
  • Sam the Metallica Fan’s excitement for Metallica at the Sphere
  • Faux-Howard Stern talking Red Robin and Nickelodeon nostalgia
  • Massive riffing about Iranian barbecue, goats, and quick-fire pop-ins by classic show characters

---

11. Entertainment Drill & News

• [139:24–145:24]
  Brady leads rapid-fire entertainment news:
  • Savannah Guthrie, Britney Spears’ DUI and found substance,
  • Hollywood’s lost treasures being stored in a Kansas salt mine (including George Clooney’s “nippled” Batsuit),
  • Christina Applegate’s Anchorman pay drama,
  • Lawsuit over “Amazing Race” portrayal
  • Updates on local crime (Dylan Brooks’ DUI)

---

12. Listener Interaction & KUPD Contest Info

• Throughout
  Listeners chime in via email, and the team shouts out today’s Metallica Sphere contest code words at the top of each hour.
  • 6am: Lulu
  • 7am: Lightning
  • 8am: Hardwired
  • 9am: Harvester
  • 10am: Snake Pit

---

Quick Timestamp Guide

| Time (approx) | Segment | Notable/Memorable Moments | |---------------|-------------------------------------------|----------------------------------------------| | 02:36–13:50 | Dental trauma & National Dentist Day | “Pong Pong” story, pus and tooth agony | | 14:22–24:41 | Suicide stats & advances in dentistry | “It’s Gummo’s” turn to suffer | | 24:41–43:24 | Iranian lake days & BBQ stereotypes | “Iranian Brady”, jetskis & Green Egg BBQ | | 48:39–54:00 | War as TV drama, channel comparisons | Fox vs CNN vs MSNBC war coverage jokes | | 55:15–64:34 | NBA–5’7” Japanese Bull player | “Not even Linsanity!” jokes | | 103:13–107:58 | Science news | Crystals, Thin Mints, Uranus jokes | | 110:45–119:45| Gross-out web video segment | Extreme reactions to scat videos | | 121:15–137:07 | Gina Brillon interview | Toxic exes, parenthood, division quote | | 149:04–173:32 | Guadalupe Squares | Trump, Stern, Sam/Metallica, “Brady” bits | | 139:24–145:24 | Entertainment/News drill | Diamondbacks’ Batsuit, Britney Spears bust |

---

Best Quotes (with Attribution)

• Dental Horror:

  • “If your car’s been acting up, now’s the time to handle it. Should we wait for our refund before getting repairs? No way.” — John [00:47]

• Pong Pong Nostalgia:

  • “Pong Pong’s food might be better with infected pus… Pong Pong was dirty good. That was a place Brady would go.” — John [09:34]
  • “So good at Pong Pong make pus taste better. And it did.” — John [09:19]

• On Iranian Life:

  • “Iranian Brady's out there making goat ribs on the Green Egg, watching ‘Tehran State’ take on Michigan.” — Crew riff [36:11]

• NBA Tanking:

  • “You’re telling me there isn’t one black guy on a G League team better than a 5’7” Asian?” — John [57:01]

• Science News:

  • “Chimps, bass, and recently divorced women in their 40s all have the same attraction to shiny things…” — John [106:11]

• Gina Brillon’s Wisdom:

  • “Division is intentional. Don’t fall for the tricks.” — Gina [136:41]

---

Tone & Style

• Unfiltered, irreverent, and very local.
• Frequent shifts from silly to insightful to shocking, led by John's encyclopedic memory and the team's chemistry.
• Live, layered riffing—listeners are pulled along as if in the room.
• Heavy on stereotypes, self-aware humor, and “taboo” jokes—often poking fun at themselves for their biases.
• Running gags (“Gummo,” “Iranian Brady,” “Sam the Metallica Fan”) keep continuity fresh.

---

Who Should Listen?

Anyone who likes raw, boundary-pushing morning radio, doesn’t mind adult humor or honestly bizarre/confrontational riffs on news, pop culture, and local color. Not for the faint of heart—but a comedic mainline for fans of chaotic, unfiltered breakfast radio.

---

“Disappearing to the Sphere” Metallica Code Words

• 6am: Lulu
• 7am: Lightning
• 8am: Hardwired
• 9am: Harvester
• 10am: Snake Pit

---

Episode Takeaway

This episode stands as a testament to why 98KUPD’s Morning Sickness endures: fearlessly irreverent, endlessly off-topic, and bursting with Valley personality—from infected pus to Iranian lake BBQ to the world’s shortest NBA player. If you want to laugh, cringe, and learn the Metallica secret code word all at once, bar the door and crank up the volume.

Transcript

[A]

All right, HMS Podcast time again to let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Head downtown to Stand Up Live to catch Gina Brion along with Francisco de Carlo up north at the Desert Ridge Improv. It's the very funny Patrick Warburton entertaining you and east side of the Tempe Improv. Do not miss the incomparable Mitch Fatale. For the complete lineups and for Tickets, go to standuplive.com desertridgeimprov.com and tempeimprov.com hey, it's Larry McFeely here with my friend Wayne from AMCO. Wayne, it's Tax time. You filed and your refunds burn in

[B]

a hole in your pocket.

[C]

That's right, Larry.

[A]

Before you book a trip or buy something shiny, please remember your car.

[C]

Tax time's the best time to take

[A]

care of all the car repairs you've been putting off. Sure, because nothing kills a tax refund buzz faster than a surprise car breakdown.

[D]

I'll say.

[A]

If your car's been acting up, now's the time to handle it. Should we wait for our refund before getting repairs? No way. Amco payment plans let you get repairs now and pay when you get your check.

[E]

Google Amco for your nearest location.

[A]

That's Amco Double A MCO transmissions and a whole lot more.

[E]

Well, we're already into February, and most of us are clinging to those resolutions. And for men, it's even harder to commit to lifestyle changes. If you're in your 40s or older, it's Nick Delito for GameDay Men's Health. What GameDay Men's Health does is show you where you stand and gives you a game plan to tackle those changes. It all starts by scheduling a free consultation. And for most guys, that's quicker and easier than getting lab work scheduled through your own physician. Go see for yourself by going to gamedaymen's health.com and scheduling that free consultation at one of their 12 valley locations. Head to gamedaymen's health dot com it's

[A]

John Holmberg here from the Morning Sickness to tell you about the Core Institute. People who met me found out that I've had four major operations in the last four years. They're blown away. I've had both shoulders replaced and both hips replaced because I was an absolute disaster. Before my surgeries, I was in pain. Now no one knows I've had any issues. People who hear multiple surgeries assume they'll never be the same again. It's just not true. I'm better than I've been in 20 years. Stop quitting the things you love and get back to being the pain free you you love. The Core Institute. Dot Holmberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Good morning, everybody. Hello there. Welcome to Friday. It is five for five. Five for five. This week on Getting Gummo to giggle before the show starts. 5:45. This is the morning sickness. My name's John. How are you? I'm fine, thank you. Me too. There's Brady, there's Brad. Come on, we'll call him till somebody fixes this. Is there a goddamn dentist that'll rip into this guy or not?

[F]

Today at noon. Thank God. The ayatollah was lucky. Yeah, he had this going on.

[A]

Oh, if he had. Oh, I've got an outfit too. Oh, well, they wouldn't give to just.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Thank God.

[B]

And Brett, it's National Dentist Day.

[A]

Is that right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, so they're probably a little drunk.

[F]

Oh, great.

[A]

Nice work, boys.

[F]

I felt like cough syrup last night.

[A]

Yeah, it's. Listen to just seeing Brett walk around. It's like 1940 over here. He should have one of those things tied around his head like they used to do. Oh, yeah, tied up dentist stuff. You've got this. This broken root.

[B]

Yeah, he's got at least three months of nuts stored in those cheeks.

[A]

And if you've ever had tooth pain, like nerve exposed tooth pain, it's the worst. It's a disaster. And like, I assumed there would be emergency dentistry for you to go. This is something you need to take of.

[F]

And I'm today, today.

[A]

Tip of the catbird for you. Popping in here because it is not fun. That's a. That's a miserable pain to feel.

[B]

I'm demanding results after one day.

[A]

Oh, man. Absolutely. Gummoe's feeling it.

[F]

It's like we talked about, too, that when some of those infection spots pop the worst.

[A]

It's the worst ever swell up and then they pus out of your mouth. And I told Brett yesterday, if it weren't for. Because I had this. When I was 19 years old, I had a. My wisdom teeth didn't grow up out of my gums. They grew forward under my other teeth. And I was sitting on the couch and I just felt this crack and I'm like, ow. And then there was powder in my mouth. It busted two different teeth grinded like rocks underneath the roots and it popped the tops of my teeth off and they just went to powder. Like, not the Whole time spitting big chunks. I'm like, is that my two. You know, ever those dreams where your teeth fall out? It happened in reality. Like, I spit two. I'm like, what just happened? Two completely healthy white teeth, but broken in half. And the roots were. And then I took a breath in, and I'm like, oh, no. And it was the worst pain I could ever imagine. And then I couldn't get into a dentist for three days because it was a Saturday. And they're like, we don't have emergency dentistry until Tuesdays. And I'm like, what? Where's the emergency? That's what I said. I didn't even know what that meant. So I just sit on the. I put. My dad had some old remedy. I've told you about it, where he just took bare aspirin. He's like, put it right directly on the nerve, which works, except for it burns a hole in it. So then you've got, like, this sore for the. It was the dumbest thing I've ever done, but it actually worked in moderation if you stuck it on there. But then the abscess thing happened. I broke my nose a while, and then I thought I had a sinus infection. It turned out I had the broken root of my tooth. And I told Brett that. And this is gross, but you swell up and your gums swell up.

[F]

Oh, yeah, right.

[A]

I got a big bubble, and then it pops. Oh, I hope you're enjoying your breakfast this morning.

[B]

I did a little research.

[A]

Hold on. It pops in your mouth, and then it gushes pus in your mouth kind of unexpectedly. And that tastes the way poop smells. Yep. And then. And then you're eating that without any. And you're spitting it out as much as you can. And I remember the whole thing just into my mouth all at once, once. And I'm like. And it was like swallowing. Not supposed to swallow it. It's poison. Yeah, it's infection. And I was eating sweetened sour shrimp from Pong pong. Used to be on price and Southern, he said, eating Pong Pong and. And it was. You know, it was the only thing I could eat that wasn't. And I realized that Pong Pong's food might be better with infected pus. And I started to have sort of a. I told Brett, I'm like, that's how I liked sweet and sour. And I associate that with a gross mouth. So every time I get sick, I crave pong Pong sweet and sour shrimp, which I don't even know If Pong. I don't even know if Brady. I don't know if Pong Pong's a gongon. Is it gone? Do you remember Pong Pong?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Why?

[A]

Pong Pong was bread. It was smaller than this.

[B]

I never went. But I know the name.

[A]

Well, of course you know Pong Pong. Nobody's gonna. You knew the name, though, and you stored it away. Because Pong Pong could just be somebody being silly about a panda.

[B]

You know, there's some legendary Asian restaurants. Pong Pong, Big Wong.

[A]

But Punk Pong was not legendary or a restaurant. I don't even think it qualified as a restaurant. It was just a.

[F]

There's one still on Bell road and.

[A]

Okay, 33rd Avenue. Can't be related. Just a coincidence, that one. Pong Pong.

[B]

What?

[A]

No. No Pong Pong. I opened Pong Pong. Like there's no.

[F]

Yeah,

[A]

yeah. There's no franchises of Pong Pong. That guy just accidentally said the same thing. Another guy said big Wongs. Two Big in this room. No, there's only one.

[F]

Oh, wait a minute. It's still there.

[A]

Wait, Hong Kong. Still there on Price and Southern?

[F]

Yeah, I believe so.

[A]

Jesus Christ. That's 50 years of Pong Pong. We got to celebrate. If they're still there, they're 50 years of Pong Pong. At least 40 because they were there when I was a kid. Holy smokes. Mark Stebbings, my fat friend, he got. He got me hooked on Pong Pong. He used to always say he'd look at me like he was addicted and just go. And like, out of nowhere, just go, pong Pong. And I'm like, what? That's it?

[B]

Wow.

[A]

No, that's not the right. That's not the same location because they. This was over. Where's that one?

[F]

It's on Price and Southern.

[A]

That might be it. I don't remember them having the. The Southwestern tiles. Pong Pong.

[B]

They updated the center.

[A]

They may have. Because I haven't been to Pong Pong in a long time. Yeah, that's exactly it. That's right off the freeway. Price and Southern. There it is. There's Pong Pong. Oh, how many years has Pung Pong been Now I want to go.

[F]

Maybe after we get off the show.

[A]

You know what? I'm going to take it. Lunch for Pong Pong and get that sweet and sour shrimp. It cures mouth abscess. Yeah, there's nothing. There's not. There's not much worse as far as just to me. I think it does. I think that pong pong.

[B]

Oh, hot and sour on there.

[A]

Oh, don't mess with recipe, Brady.

[F]

I've been eating that all week.

[A]

Go. Sweet sour shrimp. It make the pasta taste good. That's how good pom pong is. It makes pus taste better.

[C]

Oh, we could put this sauce on past.

[A]

Really? Oh, yeah. You make a sweet or sour past. Oh, we serve that. And eating those shrimp, those. They were kind of. They were fried, you know, but it was that. It wasn't like, crisp. So pong Pong. I. I liked it, but it was almost doughy. They're batter. Yeah, lightly batter. Like a woman who don't listen. Big joke. But his pong pong was big into domestic violence. Always making the jokes. Oh, lightly battered tempura like my wife.

[C]

Shut up.

[A]

I pong pong her. I pong pong you. I go lightly battered temporal wife.

[F]

So Don Rickles up there.

[A]

Yeah, he very good.

[C]

Just quiet down, hockey puck.

[A]

Where the polarox at? And then I'm like, hard punk pong. I'd like no sweet sour shrimp. So good at pong Pong make pus taste better. And it did. So if you get a pus break, you know what? We'll just doordash over some pong Pong. What time does Pong Pong open? I open early for bread. Pus.

[F]

Michael said I went to law school. ASU got Pong Pong special chicken all the time.

[A]

Pong Pong was awesome. I'm shocked that pong Pong's still open. That seems like one of those places that you just remember. And for some reason, it went away. But Pong Pong was dirty. Good. That was a place Brady would go.

[C]

I know about this little Chinese joint over here called Pong Pong.

[A]

He'd be like. And you'd see it, and you'd be like, I'm not going in there. They had the paint on the wall. Kitty free pus tastes better with.

[B]

Pong Pong refers to a tropical tree known as for its white scented flowers.

[A]

Beautiful Pong pong. You call may have food with us. Our sweet and sour sauce. We'll fix y' all pies. Pong Pong. How about that? Pong Pong is still there.

[B]

Well, o be opens at 11.

[A]

Did you already. Look, Brett, if your mouth still hurts and you're still here, we're gonna doordash over some pong pong. Make it quick. East medical emergency. Pong pong's still open. You like a fortune cookie. Yeah. Are you even that kind of. Yeah, I know, but I make them at home. Fortune say you're gross, swallow your puss and get a tummy ache.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Didn't think you'd wake up this morning with the radio talking about eating pus, did you?

[B]

No.

[A]

That's why radio's dying. These idiots on the air don't know what to talk about. Plus, but this podcast. This podcast is kicking ass. You talk about whatever you want. Chat. GPT. Didn't know whether the traffic of the

[C]

I have an umbrella at my house

[A]

with my name on it.

[F]

And blow my mind while you're at it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Tell me what you're doing. My kids homework had a curse in it.

[A]

Tactical tactile. Yeah, and then you got Mike Broomhead is actually really good at what he does. Tactical. Tactical. Tactical. Broomhead, Vance, Gnome Pablo, Rodeo Clown.

[F]

That's.

[A]

That's my Broomhead show. I miss all the. I just hear his keywords. Morning, Maryvale. Pablo. Anyway. Yeah, well, I hope you get better back because there's nothing there is not much worse than wandering around with toothpane. You know, up until the 1930s, the number one cause for suicide was dental pain.

[F]

Oh, I thought about it last night.

[A]

Yeah. Isn't that weird? It took until the 30s and 40s for people to stop killing themselves because going to the dentist was worse. The advancement in dentistry since I've been a kid.

[B]

And then wasn't it as remarkable as a job too was a high rate.

[A]

Oh, nobody liked them white walls. When I went to mcc, my friend Steve Miller. Not that one. And I went to a. Look, this is how you know you're wasting your parents money. We were in film classes at community college. The fact they even offered them. And I even said it. I'm like, nobody's ever gotten out of Mesa Community College's film school and cracked open the next, you know, Jurassic Park. We're not. We're idiots.

[B]

Who is that guy?

[A]

Nobody. There isn't one? No, there isn't one. It's D students from Dobson, Mountain View, Mesa. And it's just. It's losers who didn't apply themselves in high school like me, and then realized I gotta go try school. So we went there and the teacher, and I don't think they do this at usc, said, I want you guys to make a film. I ended up leaving this class. I didn't do it. But Steve kept going. And they give him a list, right? And the list they gave him was people who will invest in your movie because he wanted you to hire actors. He wanted you actually put a budget together. That was part of the class. And he's like, and you need investors. That's what producers do. They go out and they find investors, and they say, I need some money to make this movie. It's a good thing. You got an idea? Here's a script. It was all local dentists, phone numbers. And when he was pressed on like, dude, what are you doing giving out the. These people. Nobody talks to them. Nobody approaches. This is back in the, you know, 90s. Nobody approaches dentists because people hate dentists. Like, they just don't like going. So these guys have tons of money, and nobody from the outside ever bothers them unless there's like a dental issue or the cleaning or just an appointment. They don't have friends like that.

[D]

Why?

[A]

And he goes, we all sure enough, like, three of the kids in the class got funding from dentists who were just happy to get a call. That's totally different now. But you. They gave you a list of people who are like, nobody likes talking to these guys. They're the worst. Used to murder. Murder themselves. They kill themselves because nobody liked them and vice versa. If you had to go to the dentist like you did now in 1940, you'd have been like, I got two options. I can go to that butcher is going to carve me open, or I can just kill myself and put all this to rest.

[F]

I just went to Japan, jumped in one of those jab zeros and kamikaze.

[A]

Well, now I don't know. You have joined the Japanese military. What difference. And blown up.

[F]

Doesn't matter.

[A]

You'd have. You've been on the wrong side of Pearl Harbor. I'm telling you what, come on over, Brett. We could use you.

[F]

As long as they give me some pong pong before I jump in that plane.

[A]

It's a great question, but Brett just might have had. I want to put this in fan fiction for this show I'm watching called don't touch it. This fan. The show called war that I'm watching, Starting Trump, Brett comes up with a great idea, a great idea. Let's put together some cruddy planes that only take off. And we put terminally ill people who are like, I don't want to be around anymore. They want to self. But you're not allowed to kill them because you can't euthanize people or death row inmates. And we say kamikaze away boys. Now if they start coming at, well, we have to put them out, like, you know, away from our stuff so they don't go rogue and then like turn it on us. It's a great idea.

[F]

Just put a remote control in there where if they try to do something else, you just control it back in.

[A]

We make suicide bombers out of our people that aren't going to be society. Finally. Oh, this is a great plot twist.

[F]

Put all the pedos in there.

[A]

Oh, pedophile suicide bombers. No one's upset about this. Went into some moolah's house and just stand there and go thinning. Hi, is anybody here? Young and blows up.

[C]

Ah.

[A]

Oh, the pedophiles. This is great.

[F]

Chris Hanson be their flight instructor.

[A]

How you doing? Yes.

[B]

All from a guy throwing out a term I haven't heard in years. I wanted to jump into a zero.

[A]

Yeah, I wanted to. Well, I gave him a time frame and he jumped on it. See, in the 40s you could. You'd have killed. You had to just. I just switched teams and bombed Pearl Harbor. I've not heard anyone in America ever say that. That's an insult to that 1000 year old man they drag out every year. Go sit by the boat that you almost died on and put your hat on. Do it. You're 108. What else are you gonna do? Sh. A remarkable thing too, because with tooth pain came for me. The draining of my. Because you're even the top. My sinuses above my eyelids swelled up. My abscess and infection got so bad, my entire sinuses got bad. And I had to lay back because the doctor said this is very serious. Like this can drain in your. It may drain into your eye sockets or your brain. You just be careful. And it drained back into the top of my skin. Scalp and swelled up my scalp. I had a puffy scalp. I remember my old. The fatty tumor that grew under there is because it separated my skin from bone and my body filled that with fat deposits. And then I got a lip home under there. Had to have that removed. So good luck with your tooth.

[B]

Bird head was like a mini jiffy pop.

[A]

Yeah, like a dorsal fin.

[F]

Great idea. Juy.

[A]

Now.

[F]

Now may I nominate the first people to get in there? Rachel and Karen.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[F]

Kamikaze army.

[A]

Oh, look, if it was personal, there's a ton of folks I would just start pulling out of the radio station.

[B]

You wouldn't have planes.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Well, you don't have a big enough plane for Rachel.

[F]

C130.

[A]

Yeah, you got it. Yeah. And I don't know if she can load Babar, the complaining emailer and her menopausal ass onto a plane. I'm not trusting a woman with menopause because at any moment she just won't take accountability and turn around and land it on her ex husband's house or something. That's true. Yeah. So, yeah, you gotta. You gotta have a. Actually, we. We put them in drones with extra like explosives wrapped all around them. And then the drone flies. They don't have any control over it. They just have to sit on it or ride it like Slim Pickens did at the end of the bomb. Yeah. Oh, man. All right, it's six o'. Clock. And this, my friends, is the last day for the Metallica stuff disappear to the sphere. We've been giving you the code words for which is hard to believe, but 10 days now, but we've been at this for a while and this is it. So get on it. Make sure you get every word you can as well. Often as you can. We do one every hour. And 6am is here right now. And the last 6am word to disappear to the sphere is Lulu. Oh, I know. Talk about going out with a bang. Lulu.

[F]

Give me a kamikaze.

[A]

That was a rough Metallica moment. Then hopefully you will hear nothing Lulu related because Lou Reed and. Oh, it's a horrible album, but it's still part of their catalog and we have to acknowledge it. But you. I guarantee you that ain't gonna be its fear. They're not gonna do one song from that mess. They can keep that in their artistic back pocket and do that at parties. But not for us not paying thousands of dollars to hear Lulu songs. But it's the word for 6am and maybe it's the one time it'll be good, is that you went and put Lulu in and it got you the win. So qualify yourself. That's how you register. Do it every hour. You guys. By the way, on our last day of this Metallica thing have absolutely erupted. Did our. Our apps and our website numbers and everything else, which is the goal. The Bobs are thrilled. Larry just told me. He said we're like number one in the entire corporation for any sort of usage with the machines. You guys did a great job for us. And it's not because we're so much better than anything we've ever been. This is just a great prize. So participation is key and we appreciate everybody that's played along because it mainly takes those weasel knob bosses that work radio from the suit down and it shuts them up for a couple of weeks.

[F]

How strong our podcast is.

[A]

Podcast Is super strong. It's doing really well. But nobody wants to hear from those. God, I want to use a terrible word. It's a TWA trainer. Those idiots that live up there. And the Bob's. Yuck. The people who've wrecked this industry top to bottom. But they're quiet for at least a week until they get another research project in there. They don't know what's. They can't listen to anything and say that's good or that's not good.

[C]

We should analyze that. Fire three more people. So we have money to see what's

[A]

wrong with the stations.

[C]

Yeah, we fired a bunch of people. We used the money we would have done to pay them to do an analysis. Why don't people like Phil Collins anymore?

[A]

Jeez, I don't know.

[C]

This test says they do. I don't know what to think. I've got no idea.

[A]

Lulu.

[F]

Oh, man. People are nominating people for our kamikaze flights.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[F]

Pearl and Paradise.

[A]

Pearl and paradise from the fries. Making. Making their squad leaders make it. Yeah, they're good. Yeah, they're. They're not. They're not admirals or generals. That goes to Menchaca. And Nathan Sutherland did not do to beat that puppy last year. But Pearl and Paradise are definitely people. We'd wrap up and put in one of the drones. For those who don't remember, Pearl and Paradise were two cute girls who made Google eyes at a retarded boy who worked at Fry's up in Scottsdale and then stole his wallet. That. Well, they charmed it out of him. They tried to make him think he was, you know, he had a chance. And he took the special needs kid who's collecting carts up at Fry's and they. They swindled him. And he had a credit card and they ran it up. They were the original winners of the Nathan Sutherland s heel of the year award. Back 20, 21 or 2, something like that. Yeah, we've had a. Yeah, put those champs on those planes. Yeah, and we could do like a full, you know, those full squadron. You know, we could do. We don't even need like a plane. Like take all these decommissioned, like American Airlines ones and just make passenger planes, modify and show them, Drone them up, drone them and shoot them over there and just blow them up 911 style and see how those guys like it.

[B]

You don't have to waste the batteries on it. You could just tow them and then glide.

[A]

We just put those floaty things like wind flight, those Alaska things that the planes land on. Water. Yeah. Put that and drag it over behind a. Like imagine Iran. Would they be. Why are they bringing a fleet of American Airlines seven 47s from the 70s over. Yeah, we're gonna, we're gonna throw these at you. Full of pedophiles. Hopefully a few of them live.

[F]

Epstein's plane sitting there doing nothing. Might as well use that thing up.

[A]

It's rotting.

[B]

Yeah, they're like pedo jarts.

[A]

Pedo jarts. Like one of the better band names ever. And also effective. Yeah. Why don't you just dangle them like some sort of kid's mobile under a real plane and then just drop planes on them filled with pedophiles. We solve all sorts of. Christine Ohm would still have a job if she listened to us. That's a great idea about that. Logical, but it is a great idea. Speaking of war, last night Fox did something and my buddy Mender back in Chicago, we've been talking back and forth and about war in the show and where it's going to go and how many new characters are they revisited. A thing that was asked back in January where Peter Doocy, Fox News correspondent, asked Donald Trump after the Venezuela things back in January. He got that Maduro guy right out of his house in Venezuela and everything's going to change. Ever think about doing that to Putin And Trump wasn't real. Like, no. Like the answer to that is no. It's no. It's John Holberg here. And I found a place I'm genuinely excited about. Modern resolution windows and doors. And it all started because my front door just broke. Not stuck, not squeaky. The thing actually broke. So I called them and from the first meeting I could tell family run local. They care about doing things right. It was great. Check them out. Modernresolution.com Great people, great work. Modern Resolution windows and doors. My new find and your home's new upgrade. Free in home consultation. So just call text or book online. Modernresolution.com call them 480-665-5732. It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. Time to talk about TVs Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins.com another satisfied listener called TVs Doug Hopkins and sold her home for cash. She reached out, her name's Ashley. And Doug wants to make it simple. Buy your house for cash as is. You don't have to do anything. Just like Ashley, no strings attached. If he moves that price, you get $5,000. Want to sell that place? Start the process online@doug hopkins.com or grab

[C]

the phone and sing Hopkins 1-800-now.

[A]

Homeburg's morning sickness. Venezuela is one thing. Russia, a midnight raid to steal Putin, that's a different animal. But Trump didn't let go. No, that's silly. He kind of, you know, did a Trump answer. But back to Venice. They started to replay that question last night. Like Fox is trying to nudge that forward a little bit. That I'm not for at all. You don't do that to a nuclear power. That was a bad idea. But if war's gonna go that direction, Holy smokes, is this show about to get great?

[F]

Give me my popcorn.

[A]

Oh, holy smokes.

[B]

Did you see all those shows like the. The Americans or something? Like, hey, the vibe is they want Putin out. They want a new guy in. Can you help us out, Brady?

[A]

This show I'm watching, it's actually happening. Yeah, yeah. You're watching Kerry, Russell. I'm watching the actual people in charge. And he said that. Anybody else think Peter Doocy might be gay? Me and Mender. Do you ever see him think asking questions? He's got a little thing going anyway, and he loves when Trump gives him Peter Doocy.

[C]

I like when you ask questions, Peter. You're real good at asking questions.

[A]

Thanks, Mr. President. I have one question for you, though.

[C]

Do you think you could just go

[A]

into Putin's house in the middle night and sweep him out of bed? I think we could. I'm like, no. No, no, no, no. The answer to that is no. There's a quick, easy. I don't care how nuts you might be, the answer is no. Yeah, Peter Doocy has it. Gives me a little bit of the. That's not the gay vibe. He's got that Duracell battery people hair, great at his job. But they started to replay that last night and I'm like, oh, we're not done with this one yet. Let's. Let's finish off the Iranians. And then later we'll talk about if we're going to go sweep Putin out of bed at 2 in the morning. I don't like this. And then last night. All right, and then there's another thing. I just don't understand how. First off, The headline will tell you everything, you know, Iranian women soccer fans show support for Trump as they appear to pivot on the national anthem. They all went Kaepernick on the national anthem as evidently Iranian women can play soccer. I didn't think from everything I've been told, they're barely allowed out of the house. Yeah. What do they have? They can't be. If you see more than their eyes, you get stoned to death. That's what I think. But they said the Iranian soccer team for women appeared to kind of pivot from a silent stance at the women's Asia Cup Thursday. I'm sure that's a credibly well attended event. And they sang the national anthem before their match against Australia. Didn't win but they voice support for us and they did a salute. But they wear like these full on headgear and head to toe uniforms. I think they should get a goal for that. It should start one nothing or a

[B]

couple of penalty kicks.

[A]

Yes, you get, you get it. You get an extra attempt at something because Allah makes it so these broads can't even like they gotta be. They gotta be in their period outfits. You know when the girls around the house which wears her sweats and her. And she looks at you like I'm just gonna be uncomfor comfortable for a couple of days or get together with

[B]

the clerics or something say, you know, they can. Yeah, they can go without it for

[A]

to compete call Nike. No, they can't. I know. Hates lady skin. Hates lady skin. You're a. If your ankles pop loose. Can't do that. That, that's a religion I'd never get behind. Imagine what if they put beards on

[B]

them and you know, made them in eventual.

[A]

They did that a lot.

[F]

But there they are.

[A]

Look at what they're wearing.

[F]

Those are chicks.

[B]

It's tighter.

[C]

And here's the other.

[B]

It's a tighter head garb.

[C]

Like who's funding this?

[A]

Where's Iran get its funding? And I know they've got oil and stuff, but they've got a women's soccer team. I don't think it's as bad over there as they're leading on.

[F]

Those are chicks.

[A]

Well, come on. Goalie looks solid goalie looks.

[F]

Goalie's a better looking one.

[A]

Most goalie is the strongest looking girl. Some Iranian chicks could be pretty hot. But we're not on that team. Well, come on.

[B]

There's one in the back row. That's definitely a dude. 13.

[A]

Well, there's a couple of them that are on. We're not guys. We're not here to sexualize the Iranian women's soccer team. There's nothing to sexualize. Right. We're just surprised they exist. Can we remain surprised they exist? It just doesn't seem like they should be a thing with all I hear about Iran and its oppressive nature. But they Put a lady side. They funded a women's soccer team. It just doesn't seem.

[B]

That's just a. I don't believe that's a real team.

[A]

That's off brand. That's out of character for Iran to say. I love. When do they celebrate? Is it on their tv? The women whores have won the rightless cricket. People of Iran have won it.

[B]

You're not allowed to watch.

[A]

No, you can't watch them running and achieving. That would give you ideas that maybe women can do stuff. I'm always of the idea that Iran, like you, if you're a woman, you just kind of hide all the time. Maybe I'm wrong, but they got a soccer team and that goes against everything that women are supposed to be in that religion, which is completely docile. And let's not make noise here. Let's just zip it. You know, you're gonna start piping up and staying. You know, next thing you know, if you've got women's sports, you know what follows that real quick? Lesbian stuff. You can't have a good soccer team. That's all heterosexual. There's a. They're going to get some heated rivalry action going on. There's going to be some temptation. Of course. Then they find out that they're gay. On top of. From everything I know about Iran, that ends poorly as well. The Iranian female soccer team missing. Yeah. One day they're not going. Luckily for them, during all this mess, they're out there playing Australian soccer in some cup again. That's a tough out. They're not going to lose too often because their next stop is Tehran and they get to go home.

[F]

Volleyball team isn't that great either.

[A]

Volleyball team has to wear all the garbage.

[F]

We get everything and they got. Man, they got scuba gear on.

[A]

What do they do when they watch the Olympics over in Iran? Like, oh, God, is that her butt cheek? They just get on that carpet and start screaming east. What do they think of us in the Olympics? Horse, horse. Look at the horse. No wonder they want to kill us. They dress their women up like that just to play volleyball. We got together with Nike and Adidas and we made you non outfits like the rest of the world wears. Yeah, they're in full. Like, they look like scuba Diversity.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Kind of cool. Nike, you know, Are they nil deal?

[A]

Well, they might have gotten a little extra money to. But I don't think that they're selling a lot of that over at Shields.

[B]

Did a headdress.

[A]

Yeah, they're not like the Iranian section At Dick's. Do they? You got to go special order on that one.

[B]

Yeah, they're. They're making their own car.

[A]

They seem pretty happy. It's the opposite of everything I think of. Smile or I'll kill you. Hug the other, but don't be dykey about it.

[F]

That tall one's not bad.

[A]

Yeah, the tall one looks okay. Neck like you have friends and that, like, when you go home, you will not be beaten with their other wives. That's what I think of Iran.

[B]

That is surprising because that's very.

[A]

It's a lesbian thing.

[B]

Western, too, like.

[A]

But volleyball.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where do they practice that? I just. It's me again. It's me.

[F]

Isn't there a lot of sand there? That should be.

[A]

All right. All right. That's not a sand volleyball team. That's an indoor volleyball. Yes, there's a lot of sand, but that is. You know, I don't understand what I've been. I've been taught the propaganda of Iran. Yeah, See, look, they got sand volume, Brad. I'm not saying. Well, they're going to utilize the fact that they're mostly sand. I'm sure they have a beach volleyball team. But even I think to myself, there's very few family because of propaganda and what I've been taught. I don't think of some family in Tehran going, let's go grab the igloo cooler. We're going to the beach. Like, I just don't see them. All I think of them doing is

[B]

just in multiple teams. My daughter plays for the Goats.

[F]

They're playing the US and they pixelated on their.

[A]

Pixelate out the horse from the United States one. Is that an Iranian website?

[F]

It's something.

[A]

I don't see a brat. How did you find that?

[F]

It's skeptics dot stack exchange.

[B]

Just so you know. Okay, that's. That's an Egyptian player. That's it is playing. Yeah.

[A]

How do you know?

[F]

Oh, I guess it says up there. Oh, right there. Okay.

[A]

Either way.

[F]

But the tweet says that this is censorship in Iran, so I guess that photo was ran in Iran.

[A]

So they have one of our volleyball players that wears the bikini and thong up against.

[B]

They're okay with the Egyptian.

[A]

I wonder if I. Okay. I wonder if Iranians beat off to the pixelated us.

[B]

Oh, you can see, like, we were

[F]

on TV back in the day.

[A]

Back when you should.

[B]

Yeah, look at that tease on this little.

[A]

No, we can see it pretty. We're aware of that. I was Brett and I grew up in a time where you actually could beat off to stuff like that.

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

But across from her is a lady who just left a blizzard and she's playing beach volleyball. I just don't. You know what? That's on me. It's a hundred percent on me to think that they don't have anything modern at all. That they just sit and pound, you know, anvils with giant hammers all day and scream death to America. And there's no fun at the beach. And I don't really think of them as watery types. You know, the folks that fish, they probably go fishing just like us. There's probably bass boats in Iran. Think of that. Then they're going to show you that on tv. We were bass fishing when the bombs dropped. Somebody's bass fishing.

[F]

They're out there playing cornhole and smoking some rats.

[A]

They've got a weekend. They're smoking goats. Like there's a Brady of Iran.

[C]

How are you?

[A]

Come on in.

[C]

My goat and my, my green egg.

[A]

There's a guy with a green egg and a TV on his patio.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, they have to take the tripod out of the truck to fit the green egg in.

[A]

Well, yeah, well, yeah, you got to get your 50C. This is. You're going back to the propaganda. There's a family who have an Iranian Escalade that loads up with umbrellas and beach balls and igloo coolers. And Brady's there.

[C]

And you want to take neighbor Caitlyn. She'd drive her over if we take her to Santiago.

[A]

They have a San Diego. They've got a kick ass beach.

[F]

They're picking Iranian strawberries over there too.

[A]

Yeah. Having the time of their lives with Iranian Brady.

[B]

Don't have to worry about sunblock.

[C]

That was a nice day. Thanks, Ally. What a beautiful beach day here in Iran. It's good to be Iranian, don't you think? Oh, I saw your ankle.

[D]

Sorry.

[C]

I gotta. Sorry about that. I have to tell the kids now. I saw one of your mother's ankles. I had to kill it.

[A]

That's my perception of Iran. But there's an Iranian Brady who's telling Iranian dad jokes and running around doing green eggs.

[C]

And I put it in the smoker. Put the goat and the dog in the smoker. Gonna have some people over to watch Tehran State take on Michigan goat ribs.

[A]

Yeah, I didn't mean to excite you. You can calm down. I know that. You don't need to go down the menu for the sake of the joke. Just run with goat meat. You're good let's not get a little

[C]

mint sauce on that.

[F]

People want Iranian Brady in the square.

[A]

Well, Iranian Brady's a thing. I'm not sure. We could maybe flesh that out by the time 9:30 rolls around, but we'll see.

[C]

You guys want to come by, watch little football? Bring your wives, make sure they're covered head to toe, because I'll throw up on those whores if they come in any other way. You guys wanna. Hey, look over there. Roasted a pig. I'm just kidding.

[A]

That would be against.

[C]

Yeah. Anyway, I'm gonna go pray for a little bit. Got five of those.

[A]

They're out there. They're just hanging out.

[C]

Kirby Derbs, you get to drive that Mustang around. People are gonna start noticing your ankles. You know what happens next.

[A]

I want to play Iranian soccer, dad.

[C]

Ah, no girl of mine's gonna be playing that. Gonna get you a sex change. Make you the proper Iranian girl.

[A]

In the pool, swimming around. Just everything Brady does at his house, standing outside. And Iranians are going by on the backs of their donkeys. Oh, great. Moradi is outside. I had. Getting his mail. I. There's no.

[C]

Hey, neighbor.

[A]

Oh, Christ.

[B]

Tent flaps open.

[A]

If I've ever wanted. If I ever wanted America to get us now, please pray for bomb so I can.

[C]

How's it going there? Hey, nice sandals.

[A]

Yes, thank you, brother. I have to. I'm in a hurry. I have to go to the hole in the ground to take Giant. The hole in the.

[C]

I had one of those too, you know, mine backed up a little bit of cold. Eric over there from Precision Plumbing of Iran popped by. Spent a couple hours chat with him about his weekend.

[A]

Yes, yes, you do very good about this. Halahala.

[C]

I didn't realize it was time to. Hala.

[B]

Hala.

[F]

Does Iranian Brady have a restaurant called Godopolis?

[C]

Godopolis.

[A]

Come on down.

[C]

As if Iranian morning show.

[A]

Wake Up Tehran. Anyway, I don't think of them having girl sports at all. Oh, I don't even want American girl sports in a couple of areas, let alone imagine putting money down to go watch female Iranian soccer in Tehran. Two, please. Yes to me and my wife want to watch Iranian girls soccer. I know, I know. Everybody's Watto from Star Wars. What? You are Jedi? Sorry, I'm off on my own cartoonish eventually.

[B]

You know you want. You bring your daughter there to get excited about to try to. Soccer.

[A]

You can do anything. Yeah, we tell you you can.

[B]

The youth leagues.

[A]

Like you are a strong and powerful woman. I'm kidding. Now lay down for the man I will present to you at age 9. We are trading you. Yes. She still has soft spot on head. She's still valuable to man. Her bone structure is not done yet. Give her to someone good. We need dowry of goat. That's how I picture them. Evidently, they're over there playing girls soccer and going to the beach. We wrecked a couple beach weekends, but I think we all feel that way about her. And if I told you the picture I ran right now, you're not picturing smokers and barbecues and restaurants and beach weekends. Igloo cooler. Like if you're in Tehran. Do you think. Do you think if I said, hey, Brady, I'm going to drop in Tehran, I need you got an hour to find an igloo cooler and fill it with delicious snacks. If anything. If anybody could do it, it's you. But I. I don't you. First thing you'd say to me is,

[C]

they don't have coolers in Iran.

[B]

I don't think right now there'd be a lot of potholes in there right now. Like a giant.

[A]

Yeah, well, sure. Now I'm saying even before the way you picture Iran, you're not thinking you can just run down to the store, grab a cooler and spend a weekend at the lake. We're going jet skiing. That does like. You don't think they've. Do they have a jet ski dealership? Probably, but we would never know that.

[F]

Get a bag of Kingsford charcoal, grill up that goat, you know, have a great weekend.

[C]

I got it.

[B]

Heading to the lake for the weekend.

[C]

Go to the lake for 4th of August.

[A]

I don't know what they celebrate.

[C]

Going out for 4th of Kahomeini Day. And we're going to lake.

[B]

What are you going to Goat fest?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

21 pilots. Well, 14 pilots now, but two pilots, they call them, going to the big show over there by the ballpark.

[B]

21 Virgin.

[C]

Virgin's a good. It's a good band. They're playing over arena and we're gonna

[A]

knock that down, which means they have Iranian girls soccer, which means there's a halftime, which means they have halftime shows.

[B]

Does Red Panda still go over there?

[A]

Probably. She does everything anywhere for the money. Red Panda will spin. She'll stand up and put bowls on her head anywhere in the world. All right, now I'll start doing some research because evidently they're not just what I think of the propaganda. They actually have barbecues and jet skis. There are jet skis. There's so much oil. You know, there's. Dudes, with jet skis. Oh yeah. Because when they come here, they're all in on jet skis and boats. So they're familiar with it. But in my brain over there, nope, never seen a boat dealership. There's no kind of lifted trucks over in Tehran.

[B]

There's no lake homes over there that we can look at. Brett?

[A]

Yeah, the dude that lifted trucks is like this 2020 Ford Bronco is nice, huh? It comes with we did custom interior. Put the lift on a 37 inch BF Goodrich tires and then here's where the Turret goes and the 50 caliber.

[B]

But he's like, I'm not sure because gas right now is 25 cents a gallon.

[A]

It's very expensive. It's the. It's the heaviest it's ever been. God damn Trump. Anyway, so. But someday our gas prices will be back down to penny. They use our money, but yeah, I don't picture them having a lifted trucks. Like there's not one dude out there with a Bro Dozer. If it is, they're gonna. They're gonna outfit it with weaponry. I gotta really change my perceptions of the rest of this world. I'm fairly stuck in my Americanism and I'm proud of it.

[F]

Nothing wrong with that.

[A]

I agree, Brett. Goddamn right. Wave the flag. You know what I saw yesterday? I was at lunch, saw a guy with a shirt on. And it's a tip. It's awesome. Right now I'm feeling good about it. I was over at Twin Peaks looking at boobies with my friend Dean and the girls walking around their boobies. And a guy walked by with a shirt that said these colors don't run. Had the American flag on it. And on the back of his shirt it says they reload. The colors don't run, Brady. They reload. We shoot you twice.

[F]

There's open house and oh, they've got a Zillow. Yeah.

[A]

Oh my God. There's five grand a month. $5,000 a month to live in Tehran.

[B]

You got the other one's 1900amonth.

[F]

Oh yeah, that's.

[A]

That's reasonable.

[B]

Oh that's. Yeah.

[F]

How about two bath, two car garage, marble floors.

[A]

Yeah. I don't picture it and I'm sure it's there, I just. That's not my first thought. I have Jet Ski.

[B]

For what?

[A]

We go up to lake. No, no, no, no, no. Nobody in Tehran goes to the lake.

[B]

You pull that with your eye rock?

[A]

Yeah. Sand dunes. The whole place is sand dunes. Of course you have sand dunes. These are for Iranian purposes, fairly well decorated Houses on these Zillow of Tehran that Brett found. You're going to jail, by the way.

[F]

It's company computer. Don't care.

[A]

You know you're gonna be coming here for Mike. They always. They're telling us right now that we have to fill out their. I'm driving them nuts. John, you haven't done your fishing expedition that we sent you. And I'm like, I didn't recognize who sent it. Well, it was the lady from our it, but. Yeah, but you told me never to open emails from people you don't know. Well, now you know. Like, that's what you said the fish people would say. That they would. That they'd contact you and say, please open that thing. I'm not opening it. You have to get it done by Friday. I see the test here. I'm going to pass it by not opening it and doing what you say.

[F]

Nice pad here.

[B]

Yeah, not bad.

[A]

Tehran doesn't look so bad.

[C]

Yeah,

[A]

that's nice. How much is that?

[B]

One heated towel rack.

[A]

Geez, the floors are probably heated too. Oh, it's got one of those electric toilets. I've always heard they poop in holes and wipe with their left hand. That's beautiful. Oh, look at the views of downtown Tehran.

[B]

They have trees. They do.

[A]

I didn't. The trees with leaves. I always thought they'd been blown to bits. How about that?

[F]

What a gorgeous apartment. Three grand a month. Nice crib, four bedroom, two and a half bath.

[A]

You are so on a list right now.

[F]

Yeah, I don't care. My head hurts.

[A]

Looking at houses in Tehran, my head hurts.

[B]

Clean it up.

[F]

Don't care.

[A]

Yeah, you're in enough pain that it's like, come get.

[F]

Fine, send me over there. These places look pretty good.

[B]

I mean, our news people over there in the hotel.

[A]

Time out. Yeah, but they're in Tel Aviv. We're not even paying attention. He said his tooth pain in the 40s would have. He just swapped sides and 20 minutes later he's looking at apartments in Iran. Like this dude switches profile from toothpaste. Good Christmas. Anyway. 6, 28. Brett needs a wake up song. Call Gummo and help him out. 5, 8, 5, 9, 800. And only a tooth pain. Brett, while he. There's a pool too. I'm going swimming. Who's with me? We'll play a little volleyball, have good pool day, get some sun. Watching tv.

[F]

I don't like IKEA furniture in this.

[A]

Watching like, love is blind.

[B]

Idol.

[A]

Love is blind. And so is my wife because I threw bleach in her eyes for looking at other men. Anyway, give us a wake up song. 585-9800. A good one. We'll scream it together. It's 98 KUP. Wake up.

[C]

Hey.

[A]

It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually.

[B]

No membership fee.

[C]

I have heard enough of this.

[A]

It's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about my friend, TV's Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins. Doug buys houses for cash as is. No repairs, no showings, none of that usual stress. He knows the Phoenix market inside and out and he makes the process simple. You need to sell fast. Divorce, relocation, inherited property, whatever. TV's Doug Hopkins is a guy who puts his money where his mouth is. Start the [e-mail] or grab the phone and sing along.

[C]

Call Doug Hopkins. 1-800-Sale Now.

[A]

This is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. Tax season is here, and for many people, that refund check is an opportunity. If a past conviction is holding you back from constitutional rights, your tax return can be an investment in your future. Instead of spending your refund on something temporary, use it to remove legal barriers from your record and restore your standing as the law abiding citizen you've worked hard to become. To book a free consultation, call 855gun rights or visit restoremycivilrights.com today. That's restoremycivilrights.com the old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Here on the last day of the Metallica Sphere contest for all you live listeners, we're taping the podcast live right now and you can hear it on the archaic 97.9 FM dial. So I'm doing, I'm indoctrinating them into believing that they got to switch off of that eventually, you'll see. But for the live listeners, this is gold. And there's still plenty of you out there. There just our ownership group doesn't pay attention to you anymore. The seven o' clock word will be yours next. The six o' clock word is closing up shop right now. It's Lulu. L U, L U. By the way, I didn't give the spelling so Lulu is ready to go with that. A lot of you are emailing in telling me, my God, I hadn't thought of it myself, but I always thought of Iranians as the people who just lived in tents and like bullet desert people. Yeah, bullet riddled homes that are just constantly under the threat of explosion. I've Never thought of them on jet skis. Well, on that note, as we just bring it up, the news just broke. Donald Trump has unleashed American fury on the coast of wherever. I don't know, Iran, I guess, where our navy is now patrolling the entire strait on jet skis. It's an awesome weekend.

[B]

They're doing the border too, here in Mexico.

[A]

Oh, they're doing it here? Yeah. Oh, I thought it was in Iran. Oh, I misread it. Okay, so we're doing jet skis in Mexico right now down on the Gulf, as I understand. Kick ass. That's great. Also like to announce Operation Watch the Eagle and over Venezuela, Iran and Mexico. And Mexico's a little weird because they've got an eagle on their flag. They stole it.

[F]

That's ours.

[B]

That's a golden eagle.

[C]

I've launched Brady in the world today.

[A]

I've launched over 450,000 bald eagles over Iran right now.

[C]

So we control the airspace.

[A]

I figured, why not?

[C]

Why not launch eagles? We can Iran.

[A]

You just look up and you just see nothing but Israeli and American jets, followed by those majestic, giant American eagles. Those gorgeous, beautiful bald eagles. Bald is beautiful, Brett. They say it a lot. Homburg says it all the time. He looks in the mirror and he wipes tears away and he says, bald is beautiful.

[C]

Remember that.

[A]

Even though it's just an insecurity, he's

[C]

trying to mask it.

[A]

Look at that jet ski.

[B]

Navy Coasty.

[A]

We're gonna change the name of the Coast Guard to the Kickass weekend in Mexico, guys. How about that? We have a jet ski patrol. We're basically Baywatch. But you gotta remember, like, Iran has them, too. Think about that. All those Iranians that move here have the toys, but you never think of them over in Iran. Like loading up the car. Okay, everybody get in car, huh? Honey, did you forget Igloo cooler again? I don't want to have to kill you with rocks and pelt you with stones. Okay? All right, everyone in the car. Who has the Ox?

[C]

I want the ox.

[A]

Daddy, can I control music? Yes. Play proper going to the lake Iranian family music, if you don't mind. As we fire up our Winnebago, the jet skis are tied to the back. Honey, did you bring Halachala Kalash and the Mountain Dew?

[C]

Yes, of course.

[A]

All right. Did you cover your ankles? You don't want to get.

[B]

Holla.

[A]

Burns. Okay, Apollo has the reins, and he is going to bring the sun up as we go. Brad, turn the radio on. I like this song. I know. I start the ox with this stuff right here. Oh, we're going to drive to the lake and have such a day. Where is the radio at?

[F]

That's right here.

[A]

Oh, there it goes. We finally got it. And oh, this is the best Iranian Going to the lake song ever. Kick ass. Magic carpet ride. Oh, yeah. On the ground of sound I don't deny I care. Any place it goes is right. Is this an Iranian accent? I don't know and I don't care. You don't know Ahead we can fight. Hey, baby, what is it? Why don't you fire over a little ankle your hubby's way, huh? Tease me home we can see. Why don't you tell your dreams to me. We'll crash a plane into 911 building. Look inside, girl. Cover that Poreschenko, please. Thank you, Allah. Oh, yeah. Get on the magic. I turned the radio. This song is boring.

[F]

Let's give you a little romantic song.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Last night I held Aladdin's lamp. Oh, yeah. No, this one will make. This one will get her all wet down in her hairy nethers. That's right. Everyone in Iran is the triumph the insult comic. Because I don't know what they sound like. Sing, whore. Or else I can show you the world.

[C]

Shining, shimmering, splendid.

[A]

Why do you sound so scared?

[C]

I'm an Iranian woman. Tell me, princess, now when did you let your heart decide?

[A]

Now you're turning me on. You're giving me an Iranian boner. I can open your eyes. Take you wonder by wondering over, sideways and under. Sing it with me, kids. On a magic carpet ride. Whole new world. What is that? An eagle? No. Fantastic.

[C]

Look out.

[B]

Is that a bulge in your velour pants?

[A]

I got my. My dress is showing. There are no wrinkles in this today. Oh, Neutron. A dazzling place. I never knew a room without bullet holes. My horse not enclosed. This place is the Iran I wish I knew. Okay, kids, we're at the lake. Now get down your jet skis. Have fun.

[F]

Oh, you want some new metal for you?

[C]

Yeah, kick ass.

[B]

There you go.

[C]

Kick.

[A]

Click, boom. Iranian weekend at the la.

[C]

Click, click. Come on.

[A]

Oh, this one's good.

[C]

I like this.

[A]

You'll be blown away when I pull this one up and I read it. Oh, yeah. Go on. The old Saturdays when kids go out and play. I was up in my room, I let the stereo play some Saturday. Not faded or jaded. Just a kid with a pad and a pen. Imagination. All this icing.

[C]

I'm fine. Put the envelope through the line.

[A]

Oh, baby, if it wasn't so gross. I'd put my mouth on your nipples, son. Get on boogie board click, click down

[C]

on the radio Hear me on the stereo.

[A]

Yeah. Big click to the new style and you know it.

[C]

Wild.

[A]

You know what I want? I want my 72 virgins today. I'm going for it. Sorry. My Iranian lake trip. That's what you need to put together today. Your Iranian playlist for weekend at the lake. They have jet skis, they have boats, they have them. We just don't think about it. Sorry. The cartoon that's playing in my head. This is very fun.

[B]

Get a Mercedes rv.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, they love that stuff. I don't know what's going on anymore. Speaking of stereotypes, last night the Suns played the Chicago Bulls. And I went to that game and my buddy Anthony and I and Livman was there and we had a good group, right? And Anthony and I go to our seats and we're watching the Bulls beat the Suns last night and it was a tragic loss for the Suns. This, these are the types of games that they have got to win and they're not that unheal healthy right now. They're missing a couple of guys, but Booker's back and. And the Bulls are just all injuries and kind of tanking. So it was a game they should have won. I think they were favored by 10 or 11 points and ended up losing. Just they gave the game. It was the worst loss of the year. There's no question about it. It was one of those like, oh, this is there. You're going to look back on that one and go, oh, we lost our way here. But that's okay. They're way ahead of schedule. But the Bulls, last night, if I was the owner of the Bulls, I would fire my entire staff for scouting and general managers and everything else because I haven't watched the Bulls play all year. End of the first quarter, we're looking out there and the guy next to me goes, who the hell is that? I look down on the court and there is a like a Japanese child playing for the Bulls and he stands out because he's 5, 7 in Japanese. Now, I don't want to go to stereotypes. Too heavy, too late. Yeah, but I mean, after the Iranian lake trip, I think we all know, by the way, 7:00am Word. Lightning. Lightning, 7:00am word. I don't want to go to the stereotypes. Too heavy. But have you not seen basketball? A 5 foot 7 inch Asian, you're not going anywhere. I mean, if there's a.

[B]

It's no Lynn Sanity.

[A]

No Brady Lynn Sanity wasn't very good. The only reason people liked Lynn Sanity. It's because there was an Asian guy playing basketball. It wasn't. He had a couple of games. You're like, is he good at this? He's the only one now. Yao Ming. And he even kind of disappointed. Although it was good. He was seven feet tall in Chinese. People don't get it. Japanese dudes, you do not recruit from that there. You're telling me there isn't one black guy on a G league team right now that's better than a 5 foot 7 inch Asian? There's rules in the NBA that say you're not allowed to tank the season. Like, they'll fine you the second you put a 5 foot 7 inch Asian on the court. You get the fine. Like, we know what you're doing.

[F]

So you putting the Asian in or brawny?

[A]

Oh, bronnie. If you're picking teams in elementary school, who's the last guy off the wall? I'd pick a crippled black guy before I'd take an Asian 5 foot 7 inch DeAndre all day. 7. Come on.

[B]

You don't want pot sticker web in there.

[A]

I'm telling you right now. I'd even take Thriller before I take the 5 foot 7 inch Asian. Odds are I'm going to be wrong with Thriller, but I'm still taking my chances before. I don't think that I would assume. No, that's bigotry. But they're terrible. And there's a reason they don't have one black guy in their G league team better than the 5 foot 7 inch Asian.

[B]

Did he get some playing time?

[A]

No, he played a lot. The crazy part is he had a couple of rebounds. What? And the whole crowd was like. I don't want to say it. Like we're all thinking it. We could say stuff like, he shouldn't be out there. There's not one white guy. A Frenchman, an Argentinian? Like, I'd go down the list of almost every other nation. It stops at Japan. And the next one on the list is like pygmy. Like, I'm not doing it.

[B]

Scattering pores like that ninja can jump well.

[A]

And that's what I said. Maybe he's got some crouching tiger hidden dragon in him and he can like fly on rooftops. No, didn't see. And. And he took a three and missed it. And I'm like, if. If that little doesn't hit every shot, he's cut like immediately. You don't. You just don't. So they're tank it's.

[B]

Not a presentation. Like, let the guy's son play because he's.

[A]

That's what I said. I said, that's an investment. I turned to the guy next to me. I'm like, did the bul sell to a Japanese businessman and his son gets to play? Because there's no reason for that guy to be out there. And I don't want to sound bigoted, but I am. And so was the rest of the crowd. So I'm speaking for them. We all pointed and went, why is he out there? Can we all play? Is this a. Did he win a radio contest in Chicago? Did. Did Tingle give him a play for a weekend? You get to play on the tanking Bulls and like, hey, I want to pray. All right, you're on. You're on the team. And I'm not saying he's bad at basketball. I'm saying there's better options. Five foot seven is the first knock against you ever playing on my team. And then Asian. No, this isn't a thing. You can't do it. You just can't. You're proving to the. You're showing the rest of the world you just don't care. And tickets should be free. Come watch the Bulls go crazy with 5 foot 7 inch Asian men playing professional basketball like it's free.

[B]

Did he wear a headband?

[A]

No. Like the kamikaze. Yeah, I was just gonna say he did not. He's shooting 27.8% from the field. This guy just looked it up. The Bulls are do. They're. You should get your money back. If you. We should get it back for going to a Bulls road game last night. Why not just have it? You know what I think it is? It's the precursor to go. We can get one of those again. One of those WNBA women.

[B]

Pretty close to happening now, if that's right.

[A]

So I'm wondering if this is like, take one of the bad teams and shock the crowd with something that shouldn't be out there, and then maybe we'll put a woman out there. And they're going, yeah. At least you know, Sabrina, I and SQ can play Rising sun downtown. Well, we all know that we've had Asians. You calm down. You're not getting a job. Brady's auditioning for this awesome career. There's no reason to come up with a great catchphrase for him. He ain't gonna be around much longer. He's going to get sent packing. But right now, there's something going on. Look, if I was. If you were A fan of the Cardinals. We made fun of Kyler Murray for being too short. He's 6ft tall on a really good. He's about 6ft tall. He's a little bit shorter than that, but he's close. But he's a in football. And that was the reason why I can't see over line this and that. 5 foot 7 inch Japanese guy playing pro.

[B]

Gotta be the shortest in the league right now.

[A]

Has to be. And only Asian. And he's up against, you know, Colin Gillespie last night. Colin Gillespie's, you know, six two, maybe six one. It made him look like the ball looked too big. And you just wanted like, I'm having time of life. Of course you are. You're living the dream. No one else gets to live in Japan. It was, it was Temu, Michael Jol, James Bong. They ordered him and he showed up and like, I'm putting him. I'm out. It's major league. It's the movie Major League. They just went, we got. You know what we're going to do? We're going to try to tank the season. Get the owner to sell. I just hired a 5 foot 7 inch Asian guy from Pong Bong to play. He's going to be our point guard.

[C]

Oh, really? Me? It's been ages since I PR basketball.

[A]

Well, you're a Chicago Bull now. I played for the Bulls. I don't know where'd he go to college? No one knows. He just showed up. Like, he didn't. If he was good in college enough to play in the pros, you'd have heard of him during the tournament. And he's got one of them Asian names too.

[F]

What is it?

[A]

I don't know. Suki. Suki.

[B]

Pretty awesome though. They can save some money on shoes. You can just get the youth.

[A]

Well, he probably sewed most of them. Everybody, I make those for you. Devin Booker. I remember. Thanks. I Japanese, not Chinese. But it's still fun. Money. Yeah. I, I want my money back. And Andre says if he was black, no one would bat an eye. Yeah, because we've seen that. Like you're. When you see a black guy, five seven playing pro ball, you're like, wait until he jumps. There's a reason he's out there. We know. And it makes you feel bad for being short and being not able to dunk. Spud Webb was 5 3, but he

[B]

was won the dunk contest.

[A]

Mugsy was 5 3, Spud was 57 and won the dunk contest. There's a special skill involved. Mugsy Bogues was ridiculous. And he was 5 3.

[B]

So fast.

[A]

But if he was Asian, he'd have gotten kicked out. There's no reason for him. And Mugsy Bugs as you watch. People knew him in college. Like, what's that little thing like? Wait till you see it. This dude's amazing.

[B]

Didn't have the bookends. He had Mugsy, the shortest and then the tallest. Yeah. Manute.

[A]

Yeah, they were good friends. But watching that last night, I started thinking to myself that the Bulls are up to no good. And the fact that they charge us money to watch teams throw it in the gutter, no other sport has that, like golfers. Can't just go, well, I'm out of it. It's going to start hitting it in. The Cardinals do it. Everybody does. Cardinals do it. Like, you don't watch professional bowling. And this guy can't win. And he gets. He's got to get into the draft for new contracts. He just starts guttering every time you find him and kick him out of the league.

[B]

You can't.

[A]

You got

[F]

owned by Jerry Reinsdorf.

[A]

I know.

[F]

So that's a thing.

[A]

You deal with that as a socks

[F]

fan all the time and a Bulls fan.

[A]

Yeah. Said where the guy open is, you guys don't know what Chinese and Japanese are. It says, what do you open, a fortune cookie that said, it's a contract to the Bulls. Congratulations, you play. It's a Chinese thing that's not Japanese.

[E]

Ever start a project and realize you don't have the right tools? Don't let that slow you down. Fisher Tools has everything you need from Milwaukee and Makita to dewalt and Bosch, plus safety gear and accessories to get the job done right. Stop by Fisher Tools and Tempe for big promotions on top brands and start that project with the right tools at the right price. Visit fishertools.com for details. Fisher Tools. Your project deserves the best tool tools and so do you.

[A]

Fishertools.com come on down to the Ranch House Grill. Comfort food is your next meal. Pork chila verde, chicken fried steak. Ranch House knows you'll think it's great. Are you ready for the best breakfast in Phoenix, Ranch House Grill has been voted best breakfast four years in a row. We're famous for our chicken fried steak, pork chili verde and large portions. Located in the heart of Arcadia. Join us for breakfast or lunch seven days a week, 6am to 2pm We're a family restaurant with a small town atmosphere serving southwestern comfort food for 18 years. Come on down to the Ranch House Grill for the best breakfast in Phoenix at 56th street and Thomas Road. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[F]

He's a little tired. He's delivering for Pong Pong before the game. You know, he had a few deliveries to make.

[A]

Ryan's doors might be in town because the White Sox are here, the Bulls are here. So he's probably hanging around, ordered some Pong Pong on door dash.

[C]

Oh, hey, Mr. Rangdal.

[A]

Hey, you're fast. I know. I get food here real quick from Po Po. You ever consider playing professional basketball? Of course.

[C]

What little tiny Japanese man hasn't?

[A]

It's a dream of all Japanese men under 6ft to pray pro ball. Well, your dreams have come true today. Maybe he's the accountant. He's possibly in the Yakuza. Is he a crouching bull? Yes, he's a crouching bull. Okay, we make even here. You guys owe me an offer, right? Of money. Money Your kuds are not happy with you, Ms. Orlando. Well, it will make it good. My son get to play professional basketball. Is he any good? He's 57 in Japanese. What do you think? Probably not very good at basketball. All right. There are stereotypes that are true. This dude, if he is worthy, because the numbers I'm seeing on him not should be the biggest star in Japan. Like, he's like the Shohei Ohtani of basketball, only badass.

[B]

It's a dude's name.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

Long duck dong.

[A]

Yeah. Punka Punky. Sing something loud I think is his name. I don't know. I just remember looking up, seeing a couple of U's and a K. I'm like, that must be him on the scoreboard. There he is running around 5 7. I was 5. I was short, and I was 57 in ninth grade, and I was short. Come on, come on. Fess up. Why is that guy out there? Are you a bigot? I kind of might be, because I think all of us are. We're not watching. Going good for them. We're watching. What are the Bulls doing? You've got 22 wins this year. Now's not the time to break open the tiny Asians.

[B]

I'm excited. I might be able to get a minute on the Bulls.

[A]

Yeah, it's Brett in perspective. He's an inch taller than Brady. Well, when I'm wearing shoes, he's okay, right? Well, he's wearing shoes, too, so he has to be barefoot or not.

[F]

He's not wearing flip flops.

[A]

Okay. He's taller than Brady. He's Larry's size.

[F]

Oh, man.

[C]

And he's playing probat.

[A]

You're tanking. You're. You've quit on humanity. But you can't have. Have little tiny Asians on an NBA court make me feel like I got my money's worth. Even though the Bulls won the game. And here's how you know your team did something dumb. When the team that beat you runs around with their head in their hands. Like, what just happened? Like, they were surprised. They're not used to winning. They got such a distraction. Well, yeah, maybe the Suns were like, what kind of magic trick are they pulling here? What's he going to end up doing? You can't take your eye. And he's like, you know, know guys would. And he tried to like, push people around. Iguidaro, who's 611 standing next to him, and he puts his hand in his back. I'm like, knock it off. Either do karate or get off of there. Nobody wants to see this. It was terrible. My inner bigot went nuts last night. He shouldn't be out there if he can play.

[C]

I can play really good.

[A]

Yeah, I'm sure you're good at it, but not NBA level good. What's going on? What's going on?

[C]

Tell you what it is.

[A]

It's the indoctrination. Diversity first, then you can't ask questions. The next thing you know, they got

[C]

broads out there in the court playing

[A]

ball with the men. They've already got ponytails calling the fouls. We all know what happened there. Just became about complaints and thoughts. They blow whistles for what you might

[C]

have thought about them before the game.

[A]

Was a penalty for.

[C]

You were being dramatic. I just don't want to deal with it. We're not talking hostile ass. I'll take out the trash. Why is the garbage still by the door? Why? Oh, eff it.

[A]

I'll do it anyway. If you want to watch some good basketball, no one's ever said, you should see this Japanese guy. 5 7. You lost me right there. I'm done. No, no. Kevin Bacon never traveled to Tokyo and went into the jungle and pulled out five tiny movies coming out this year. Low in the Air is what it's called. Gavin Bacon's next trips. Like, I found a bunch of seven foot Africans. I put a team together and it worked out. Out. That was a movie, by the way, that was realistic to everyone. You want to tell me I'm a bigot? No, you're bigoted views. You guys went and paid money for up in the Air and said, this seems reasonable. Five people who'd never seen a basketball played the Lakers in the end after, like, one. And they were coached by Kevin Bacon. Yeah. All I need is five gargantuan blacks and I can put a team together. And America went, you know. Yeah, that's. That's plausible. We'll go to see that legitimate movie. And they try to say it was based on a true story. No, it wasn't. Nobody's ever gone to Africa and said, I need five giant ones. I'm going to go back and make a team out of it. He had peach baskets and, like, Gilligan's Islands court.

[B]

See how they handle it?

[A]

Yeah. Immediately they were drawn. It was the most racist thing ever. It's like, just set up a drum set. They'll come out of the jungle and start playing. Playing it. They'll be good at it, too. It's amazing. And put a base there, and I watch him hit that base. It was the most racist thing ever. All he had to do was fly over there and look around. There's five or six giant ones in the Sudan. I think they can do it. Terrible. And. And it was such a believable premise, the NBA actually started doing it.

[B]

The backstory, the new bull.

[A]

Yeah. There's seven foot. There's seven foot. Dudes just wandered around the Sudan, fly one of our scouts over and get one.

[B]

Last summer, he was spearing a lion. Now he's on the NBA court.

[A]

Fred's playing the. When an airplane. When Ted Stryker and his girlfriend went back to the village and taught him basketball. And it was a laugh line. It's like, yeah, that probably would happen. All these cannibals and headhunters. And he just said, basketball, and they turned into the Globetrotters in two seconds. And nobody said, that's wrong. John did Pong. Pong's owner's son, Grant. Make a wish. Oh, my son. Have a bad disease. Make a wish. Want to pray, Bulls. Yeah. Crazy. But I watched it. I was there. And I hate to say it this way, but my eyes were wide open. Yeah. He taught them basketball, simple calisthenics, worked them up to rudimentary game skills, and finally, advanced competitive theory. Right. And it made us all laugh because we're like, oh, yeah. They just. They went into a terrible village of, you know, Africans and they started dunking. The day they learned basketball, they were great at it. It's a bigoted night. But again, we all have it. Lightning is the word for seven o' clock for the Metallica. You guys are all over that. That's a Great thing. All good to get that all going forward. Brett, what do you got in the big board of musical treats today? All right.

[F]

Wake Up Song brought to you by, of course, Modern Resolution Windows and doors. Get 30% off all windows and doors right now. Mention John Holmberg and get an extra 500 off your total contract price. Family run, locally owned financing and payment plans available. Visit modernresolution.com for more info.

[B]

Today.

[A]

Julie says, I didn't think there was any way I'd ever laugh harder than I did when you invented Mexican Homelander. But Iranian family trip to the lake might take the cake. Thanks for always putting the world news into ghoul language for us. Love you guys. Julie, while we do what we can. Do what we can. I do like the Iranian family anyway. All right.

[F]

On the list, System of a Down, sugar saliva, obviously. Click, click, boom pod boom. Shot down in flames. Acdc. Whose Fist is It Anyway? For Trump. Nine Inch Nails. Sin for tonight's concert. Revolution is My Name. What's your call, boy? Tool. The vapors Turning Japanese. Slayer. Jihad Ministry. Just one fix for my tooth.

[A]

The police.

[F]

King of pain. For my tooth.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

And roundness for the bulls last night.

[A]

Oh, it was so weird.

[C]

By the way, I don't want to interrupt, Brett, but I've got to do.

[A]

It's prayer time in Iran, and I want to let them know that I'm

[C]

still very respectful of everything. Very respectful. So I got to announce it.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Sand people, it's your new president.

[A]

How are you?

[C]

That's right, Brett. Sand people to the people of the sand.

[A]

It's not. It's not bad when it's real. Anyway. I know you have to have a

[C]

soft for your prayers to Allah.

[A]

You love the Allah. He's not done you any favors, but whatever. So here's the new song. Get on your knees. Face east. We pray to this. Just do it. They'll stop hitting us to be living here. Play magic carpet. Right, man. We're patrolling things with Ski, but it's very cool.

[B]

You go there, now they're yelling free Bird.

[A]

Pretty soon they will be.

[C]

Pretty soon they will be. Brady, Brady, let me ask you.

[A]

What are those things called? You tow behind a boat and you get to parachute. You pull that parasail. Is it parasail?

[C]

We got that.

[A]

We've got the. The Coast Guard's gonna parasail around Venezuela and start. Look at this one. We're just gonna knock them out. Mountains.

[C]

Great stuff.

[A]

Well, armed parasailers. That's the new military.

[C]

Good stuff.

[A]

America is Amazing. Look at that. Eagles. Release the eagles, I said.

[C]

And there they were, all around Tehran.

[A]

Eagles everywhere, pooping on the Iranians. They loved it.

[C]

They loved every minute.

[B]

Water ski, pyramid, salt teams.

[A]

That's exactly it. Pretty soon, I'm going to do Real Housewives of Tehran. We're going to turn them into us. It's going to be great. Great.

[C]

Gonna be great.

[A]

And I don't know who I'm gonna get next. Brett. But I got somebody. And somebody will go over there and get that oil. It'll all be good. I love being American. And they are going to love it, too. Or else. Lee Greenwood playing live at Tehran Veterans Memorial Coliseum. Crazy. You pick one.

[B]

Hear what we're spending a day.

[A]

Don't even say that. Don't bring us that up. That's an msnbc. I don't even know if that's not enough, Brady, because I love watching explosions. You go to Fox news dot com. They don't even have any of the news anchors up. They've just got a video looped of things blowing up. They're celebrating everything. It's awkward how much they like it.

[B]

It's like the Fourth of July.

[A]

It's. It's beyond. We're probably going to run that. Oh, I can't imagine it's our 250th anniversary for. There's going to be so many videos of people getting blown up the. They're gonna love it. They're way too into it. It's that thing where you high five a guy at first at a strip club. Like, yeah, yeah, she's hot. And then a couple seconds later, he wants another high five. I'm like, all right, you give him another. And then like a second later, he's like. And he's getting way too into it. Like, all right, dude, there's gonna be a lot of boobs tonight. Are you gonna do this for all of them? You're into it too much. That's what we're doing with the explosions over at Fox. And then they're doing a teardrop count at Ms. Now. Cause they can't stop sobbing about everything that's gone wrong.

[C]

War Tonight, starring me.

[F]

And we've had a couple people asking what channel you're watching.

[A]

War on.

[F]

I'm watching the news.

[A]

I told Scott Taylor that. He goes, you watching any new shows? I'm like, yeah, I'm into this new thing. War, starring Donald Trump. It's on all of them. And he goes, what? I'm like, yeah, Trump's in it. And he's got all of these people and then they're just crushing Iran, like on a daily. And they get to see it. And he's looking at me like, what are you talking about? Like, war. It's on. It's on every night. Are you talking about the war? Like.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's a TV show now. They've made it. It's awesome. We've made it a TV show. You get all this entertainment. You can flip. So I am watching on Fox a lot. Like, it depends on my mood if I want to laugh. Comedy. War is Ms. Now because they're so helpless. It's funny. CNN is just like. Like, we don't know what to do with war. War. And foxes just jerk off to war.

[F]

On a very special episode of war.

[A]

That's exactly it. Ms. Now is Blossom. Tonight on a very special episode of War. Blossom gets her period. And then what? How do they have those talks in Iran? What is all over the floor here?

[C]

Father, I have become a woman today.

[A]

Not in my house. Clean that up and go walk the earth.

[C]

I'm so sorry. I have bled on my white robes.

[A]

Oh, God. Burn the house down. Her disgusting female body. Ovaries have sloughed into my home. You will walk the border of the city and you come back and the neighbors will stone you. I'm sorry. It's the way it should be.

[B]

HBO's already changed the pit to our own.

[A]

Yeah. The Ron. Yeah. It's hour by hour. What's going on in Iranian and emergency rooms? It's not good. What do they do with Iranian girls who start their period? They'd have us believe if they don't even deal with it. They have to do. They have Playtex over there.

[B]

I got the commercials, Mom. What do you do?

[F]

You douche.

[A]

Yeah. What do you do with that not so fresh feeling? I shut my mouth and I'm a good woman. I stay quiet and I stuff a socket.

[C]

It.

[A]

Maybe that's where that term came from. Yeah.

[C]

What do I do? I think I am on my period.

[A]

Stuff a sock in it. Okay.

[C]

Can I get some playtext?

[A]

No. That's American whore stuff. Here. Here is sock. Put it in there.

[F]

Here is wool from goat.

[A]

Here's wool. Here's a little goat. We'll put that on there. Disgusting bleeding. Your broken tomato part. We will have that blazed out next week. That is disgusting. Yuck. Anyway. And they're probably not wrong about that. The period should be handled. You pick one, Bert. With your broken mouth.

[F]

Let's go. Ministry. Just one fix.

[A]

Gotta Love that. Nothing wrong with that one. Wow. Kyle said, do you realize that the movie the Air Up There is just slavery told with a comedic twist? And I explain, a white dude goes to Africa and looks for the biggest, strongest Africans and then brings them back to America to work for an owner? His owner. Yeah, it's about. They got paid slavery. All right, we're not talking to you about slavery because you've got one. You're gonna. You're gonna defend me? You're gonna defend that. I never thought of that. Skewing over. And you just pulled five of them out and you moved them to America to do. To work for some white billionaire. My God, the air up There is some sort of a. One of those. What do they call that? An analogy. I gotta watch that movie again with a raised eyebrow. Anyway, Bert's gotta get. If there's a dentist out there that'll work on Bert today, would you go to. To him, like, if you just said, I'll fix it?

[F]

No, I'll wind up in some Maryville Holiday Inn or something.

[A]

How bad is it already?

[B]

I'm getting it done.

[A]

I get it done.

[F]

I'm waiting today at night, so I'd

[A]

let Dr. Tio work on me in a day.

[B]

Little lawn chair in a backyard, no problem.

[F]

Got a gun of silicone. He's just going to fill it up.

[A]

Brett, you're up. Walk to the kitchen, the living room, step over the baby toys. The dentist will see you in a minute.

[F]

I'll give you a tamale when we're done.

[A]

Yeah, we get free tamales anyway. You don't get pups. You don't get a lot of not here tamales. My abuelito worked very hard on those. And also she's your dentist. All right, do it, Ministry. Just one fix. There we go. This is a great song. It's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[B]

No membership fee.

[C]

I have heard enough of this.

[A]

It's John Holmberg here for Life Changer Loans. Whether you're buying a home, trying to refinance or improve things financially, you got to focus on one thing. Clarity. You don't have to do it the old way. Life Changer Loan is here to help. Call my friend Shane o' Grady at Life Changer Loan and see if it's for you. Good credit, good with money. There is more than just the old fashioned bank loan. And if you want to see what's possible financially in your life, that's different than what you're doing now. [e-mail] Life Changer Loan it's not magic.

[E]

It's just math College basketball fans FanDuel just handed you a tool that makes every college hoops parlay worth more. It's called the Boost Builder. You get a boost builder to use on any two plus leg college basketball parliament parlay. Start building your parlay and each leg you add increases your boost all the way up to 105%. Just open the FanDuel app, choose your college hoops market, apply your boost token and watch the percentage climb. Head to fanduel.com kupd to get started. 21/in President Arizona Opt in required minimum 2 leg parlay required bonus issued is now withdrawable. Boost builder tokens restrictions apply including any token expiration and max wager amounts. See [e-mail] gambling problem call 1-800-next-step or text next step to 533-42.

[A]

The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Eight o' clock words coming up. Seven o' clock word for the Metallica contest. And this is the last day. Lightning. Some of you are spelling it wrong. You're asking me? It's not working. L I G H T N I N G. Lightning as in ride the. There you go. Eight o' clock word coming up in just a little bit. You get that together and it's all soaring forward. You're going to be in good shape. So, so good luck to all of you. I'm kind of sad that this is going away because I, well, and oh, by the way, I think I got the email from Larry. We're going to pick a winner from this thing on Monday. And by the way, Monday we've got a new thing starting and that's in Vegas too. Yeah.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Good Lord. This 25th anniversary that we're just, we're putting our hooks into every single thing that comes by and we're like give it away and pretend that we came up with this idea. We got another one coming up on Monday that we give you guys. And that's pretty awesome too. Yeah. Larry said we're going to give it away. Monday afternoon. I might actually come back into the station to do the. The phone call because I'm excited to hear the person on the other hey man. That's right. And that's exactly how I'll do it for no reason as a surfer. Hey man, what's going on, man? One o' clock in the afternoon, man. Just thought I'd give you Ringle Dingle Anyway, so hop on that one o', clock, I think, is about the time we're supposed to make that call on Monday. People are saying, well, what do I do with my phone? When are you going to contact us? Today is not the day.

[B]

Get all the words today.

[A]

Yeah, get everything in today. And then we assess everything. And then on Monday, Rudy, who works down the hall, will get through, however legal. Does this put it in the system that turns out a name without us picking it comes out of some computer program, I guess. I don't know I'm making that up, but I know it's not drawn by hand.

[B]

And then there's like, the everlasting gobstopper thing.

[A]

Spits out a thing, and then I Willy Wonka that. And I call you. So on Monday, somewhere in the afternoon, if you get a number you don't recognize and your bills are due, and you're like, collectors. All you got to do with collectors is answer it. They're like, is this Brett Festle? No. You know where he is? No. And then just hang up on them. I don't know why people dodge collector collection calls when they're expecting another one

[B]

or cut a deal with them or

[A]

do like I did. I cut a deal for a guy that was. Used my phone number as his bad credit line. Is this Raj Mahaffi? No, hang on. I'll go get him. And then I pretended to be Raj Mahaffi for half an hour, and I whittled down his. What was it, nine grand? Down to like 2,800 bucks. Welcome, Raj. But you know what I did at the end? I'm like, dad, never mind you. And we hung up because I'm not really Raj. I couldn't really sign off on the deal, but I negotiated down at. I think it was at 14,000 at one point, and they said, we're going to only hold you to nine of it. I'm like, well, you're not getting that. And I just argued with the guy until he had four supervisors, and I had it under $3,000 at one point for this dude. I don't know who used my number as his escape plan with creditors. I was good at.

[B]

Came to the right place, evidently.

[A]

And those little Indians had no idea what was hitting them either. I'm just yelling at them that they're bad at their job. Oh, dude, you know, come on, please go get another supervisor right now. I'm gonna have. We're doing this next up. I think I was pretending to be an Indian, too, and I had that thing down under three grand before I told him to go F themselves. No, no, no. We cannot go any lower. That is my last offer. I'm like, well, you're not getting that either. I don't have any money. What if we dropped it down another thousand dollars? All right, would you then pass. I just told you, don't have any money. You have to drop it to zero for me to be even with you.

[B]

I could do 600. I know we can't.

[A]

We couldn't go that low. Sir, I can't go any higher than that. I'm already selling my semen constantly. Oh, that is so much to know. It is, but you're the one asking the questions. Yeah, when they call, you just start yelling at them. They'll drop it. And anyway, what are you gonna do? 7:50.

[F]

Picture of the game last night, apparently.

[A]

Of me? Oh, Jesus Christ. No. They have a picture of a tiny Asian in one of them ninja robes that Tom Cruise wore in the. Come on.

[F]

Nice work, Tom.

[A]

Look, they had Shogun out there. Don't do that. It's not right. Although it's more appropriate than what I was watching. That seems to settle in more to my bigoted eyes than it did watching him in a bull's uniform. For him, if I had Alex Jones with me. Like what has happened to this place? Remember Pippen?

[C]

Jordan Rodman proudly displaying a Chicago Bulls jersey? And now they got 5 foot 7 inch Japanese guys that just sully in the U.

[A]

Anyway, Brady's got all the news that he's going to give you now. And it's brought to you by friends at All Pro Shade Concepts. Arizona's best patio shades. Indoor outdoor living. That's what we're doing right now. The weather in your house is just as good as the weather out of your house. Windows are open. Sitting on the patio is amazing. The weekend is here. Why not just enjoy a couple sips of your favorite beverage sitting on your outdoor patio with your brand new shade from All Pro Shade Concepts. It's great stuff. The shades are custom built to block up to 95% of the sun's UV rays. Those are the bad ones. Evidently they cut the dust. The weather, wind temperature can drop up to 20 degrees on super hot days when you got these things up right in the right place and they'll put them there. They come out and do a free installation, free estimates and they'll come up with a plan for you. All pro shade.com Brady reported.

[B]

Good Friday morning to you Phoenix. Hello world. We've made it happy National Oreo Cookie Day. National Employee Appreciation Day, National Frozen Food Day Day. And again for Brett, National Dentist Day.

[A]

Thank you, dentist. Will somebody step up to do a little extra work on Gummoe over here? He's going through hell.

[B]

A couple of basis fun facts. According to the New York Times, the video game industry was one of the first sectors to use AI programming in the 1980s.

[C]

Whoa.

[B]

With four ghosts who chase Pac man responding differently based on the player's real time movements.

[F]

Wow.

[A]

No kidding. AI has been around for a while. Remember Lawnmower Man? Essentially, what that was was like an artificial intelligence thing that got injected into a guy and he just kept getting smarter and smarter because that's a neat movie, but it was just so poorly done.

[B]

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

[F]

I went to the theater.

[A]

Yeah, same. I'm like, this is a great idea. Then you're watching like, this sucks. Bad, bad.

[B]

The band at Tiger woods wedding to elin Nordegren in 2004.

[A]

Was in 2004. She's Swedish. Was it ABBA?

[F]

ABBA.

[B]

Hootie and the Blowfish. He was buddies with Darius because Darius is a big golfer.

[A]

No kidding.

[C]

I only want to be with you.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because he was sort of the. I mean, it's like a really white college kid band in the 90s.

[B]

He went to Stanford. The other one was North Carolina. Yeah.

[A]

You like to laugh at me when

[C]

I look at other girls.

[B]

Two Buck Chuck once won a top wine award. Trader Joe's 2002. Charles Shaw, the Shiraz or Shiraz, beat out 23 other 2300 other wines to win the double gold medal at the 28th annual International Eastern Wine Competition. It wasn't actually ever two bucks.

[A]

It's closer to three. Wasn't it 2.99, I think.

[B]

Yeah. And it was $2 more in other states because the shipping wine.

[A]

I talked to sommelier Ryan down there at the Raha room. He's a great guy. I was chatting with him about stuff, and I asked him a long time ago, and that's when I learned how Somalia's. Well, he's. Ryan makes you feel like a prick without doing it out loud. Because I said, what about, like, can you tell the difference between the two Buck Chuck and like, the highest thing you've got? And he goes, oh, well, for people like you, it was more approachable wines. And I'm like, that was the most. Some bitch thing anybody's ever said to me. Right? Ryan is, no, no. It's like, well, I'm not seeing people like you in that way. I'm like, you're looking for an approachable wine. I'm like, you keep saying approachable, like, I have bad credit. Quit it. Well, you're asking about two buck chuck, so I assume you get a lot of calls from Indians. He didn't say that, but that's what he was saying. I read between the lines.

[E]

The new car salesman said that you're looking for a more approachable car.

[A]

My friend Mark has a brand new. What's like a Lexus SUV. It's really nice. What are they, 440s or 5? 4. I was a big.

[B]

The bigger one.

[A]

Beautiful. And it's decked out. It's all that stuff. And we're driving, and I'm like, would this set you back? This is a nice car. And he goes, well, So I was looking at it, and he hit me with the price tag. And I told him, like, pretty proud of those. And he goes, why don't we take you over to something that will suit you a little better. Mark's like, f you, I'll take it. And he paid full pull for it because he wanted to prove to the salesman who said, you look like a poor piece of crap. Follow me over here.

[F]

He was in the Toyota section.

[A]

Mark's in the car. I'm like, oh, it's a beautiful car you did. It's very nice. Yeah, I probably paid about 1828 too much.

[F]

Jesus.

[A]

Prove a point. Just to tell that guy, you know what? You. Why don't we take you over to some cars that are a little more comfortable in your range? And he said, right then and there, you know what? I'll take this one. Yep.

[B]

Southwest South. Southwest Airlines is experimenting with having. Having cabin cleaners come on the planes between flights and only clean the premium and extra legroom seat area on the air.

[A]

Filthy pigs get to sit in my slop.

[B]

Evidently, they never had cleaners going on

[A]

there to begin with because we have proof of that. Got on the plane. My seat was covered in blood once.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

I had to ask the lady.

[E]

Yeah, it was right next to me on the wall.

[A]

Coming back. Coming back from Miami, we landed in Atlanta, and then we switched flights, and we're getting back in the plane. And I was on the window seat, and I went in there, and I'm like, well, this is not gonna do. And I told the stewardess, stewardess, I speak chive jive. And I said, I don't know if this is a normal feature on a Delta flight, but my seat's covered in blood, it would seem. And so's the wall.

[C]

And she goes, oh, that's no good.

[A]

And that's the day I realized, enjoy your flight. Yeah, that's the day I realized. Oh, and then I told you the other time that the lady Brady poured out all of her snack mix. You know, the ones like Brady eats the dusty food.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then when it was all gone, all the chunks were gone, all the tangible items had been eaten. She was licking her fingers, making them wet, and then cheetah. And then picking up. Picking them up and then going back to it at the exact same time that a seven foot man sat in front of Megan on the seat in the other aisle and popped a zit on his neck and it was bleeding out onto the top of the chair. Meanwhile, the guy behind her was spitting loogies into his Dasani bottle because he had some sort of throat cold. And when I turned to Megan, I said, we're never flying coach again. And I said, and the guy next to you in the sweatpants as hard as a rock in his sleep, he had a boner that was just jabbed out of there.

[F]

And the greyhound of the skies or what it was.

[A]

I was. Because I was in coach with them and I'm never gonna be in coach with them again. God forbid. Your connecting flight where you're getting on, it's like we're just waiting for the flight to land from Oakland. Oh, God, they're not gonna climb. Clean it. I bring bleach wipes every time I fly, even on jsx.

[F]

I didn't know you flew Spirit before.

[A]

I didn't. It was. I'm not even going to say the airline Delta. It was weird. And then I took a new Delta flight to Hawaii once and it was fantastic. Well, I still wiped everything down because that lady who dusted up everything in, the dude who popped that neck boil. And it was Brady was. When he popped it, you know, it didn't do a squirt, but it did the frosting popping out of the side of the can kind of thing. And then wipe that away. I know you're telling me I had to watch it. And then the. And then he kept reaching back and touching the hole. And every time he did, clear pinkish water would run down his neck and he'd wipe that off.

[B]

Rose milk.

[A]

Is that what that's called? But I like it. I like that you named it that. It was rose milk. Whatever. Yeah. Oh, it had strawberry flavor. I guarantee it. If you went up and went on that guy's neck hole that he just opened, take Your word for that one tastes like strawberry. I'll guarantee it's the same color and the flavors of strawberry.

[B]

Well, the flight attendants unions doesn't like it any more than you do. They think that if there's cleaners they should hit everything on the plane. The reason why they don't is they say there's not enough downtime in between flights.

[A]

God damn it. Breaking news. Sons can't have nice things. Dylan Brooks just got arrested for dui. I mean, he's injured and stuff, but this is not what you need. Ah. I was arrested in Scottsdale at 2:00am Shocking. Still it.

[E]

Jesus, Brett.

[F]

No Scottsdale.

[A]

No Scottsdale. Yeah.

[F]

All them athletes are up there in Scottsdale. Barkley.

[A]

I see all them there.

[F]

Steve K. Was up there too.

[A]

I understand. All them athletes. Those people. Those athletes. That was a very. Brett. You guys are.

[F]

That was like said. I didn't say no.

[A]

That was like what Ryan said. He's like for someone like you, a more approachable wine. I see what you're doing.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Oh, all those athletes driving around drunk. Those people.

[F]

Hey, you guys said it, I didn't.

[A]

No, no. We heard it though. We read between the lines. It's nuanced. Gummo over here. God dang it. Wow.

[B]

33 year old tourist from Canada named Mitchell Fairbarn was arrested after the police said that he stole a flamingo from the Habitat at the Flamingo Hotel in Vegas. He was caught on surveillance camera entering Habitat to his room at 5am People

[A]

didn't grabbing the bird.

[B]

Peachy was the bird that he grabbed. He was also rough with several other birds. He then carried the one up the Flamingo. There's pictures of him getting on the elevator with it. Mitchell. Mitchell initially told the police that he went into the Habitat because he saw the flamingo was in distress. And he said he knew how to pop a bird's wing into place.

[A]

Sure, who doesn't? I practice that.

[B]

Because of his background growing up on a farm arm, it didn't look like he was treating the bird very nice, but. And then took it up of the room. There's a picture of him.

[A]

Sure. That's tough to do, man, to wander around with a flamingo unnoticed.

[B]

But Peachy's okay.

[A]

Also very clever name for a flamingo. Peachy. I'm sure Pinky and Peachy are pretty common in the flamingo land.

[E]

Saw them on Happy Days.

[A]

Peachy. That was Peachy and Pinky Tuscadero.

[B]

Yeah. Forgot about Peachy.

[A]

There wasn't a Peachy Tuscany.

[B]

Oh, there wasn't that's why you forgot about it. Oh, leather. Leather. That's right.

[A]

That's why you forgot. Yeah, it's the Mandela effect. You're pretty suggestible, Brady. We're best friends now. By the way, I am going to rob you blind. There was not a Peach. Peachy was in a wheelchair. Peachy Tescadero got killed by the Moloch Crunch. She was in the. The car crash episode and it was terrible spinal injury. Peachy was. And the reason I called her Peachy is because she had such a great disposition after the wreck.

[B]

Yeah, that was one of my favorite.

[A]

That was a good episode. I'm pretty sure she. Al Arnold's the guy who bought Arnold's. Al Mo. Hey, yo, Al. Did I hear right? Did you Peachy Tuscadero? Yep, yep, yep, yep. She's in a wheelchair. You son of a. Tonight, unhappy days.

[B]

Now it's time for some science news.

[A]

Wouldn't it have been a great episode? They had to boycott Arnold because Al got caught. PG Tuscadero. The wheelchair bound Tuscadero, like, was.

[E]

Who caught Fonz?

[A]

Richie. Richie. Potsy saw it. No, actually it would be Ralph Mouth had to say, see it. He tells Potsy. Those two knobs start to try to convince everybody. Get out. And then. And then Fonzie goes up and goes, hey, yeah. Boom. Lie to the Fonz. Y. Yep, yep, yep. You're telling me you Peachy Tuscadera. Y. I put her in a tree notch. Oh, yeah. What are you talking, Raven? I had to keep the comedy going

[B]

outside of Mrs. C's.

[A]

I had to eat my vegetable spons. And then the crowd's like, they're still laughing. That's not funny. Yeah.

[E]

What song plays on the jukebox?

[A]

Nobody just hits it. I don't know. Roll and roll and roll. Yeah, that's a great one. But I'm glad we can tell Brady that things existed that didn't because it gives us an opportunity to, like, fan fiction life.

[C]

Oh, yeah, I forgot about Peachy Tuscadero.

[B]

Well, I remember she had a sister.

[A]

Yeah, not a flamingo.

[F]

Did we do the 8 o'?

[C]

Clock?

[A]

I'm sorry, 8 o' clock word is hardwired. Hardwired.

[E]

All one word?

[A]

Yep, One word. Hardwired.

[E]

Have you ever wanted to go to the NBA Finals? Well, thanks to our friends at FanDuel, you've now got a chance. It's Dick Toledo from Holberg's morning sickness. And all you have to do is use your profit boost on an NBA future and you'll be entered for a shot to win an NBA finals trip for two. So visit FanDuel.com KUPD for the info and to get started and play your game with FanDuel, official sports betting partner of the NBA 21+ and President Arizona. No purchase necessary. Limit one entry for profit boost token opt in required. Must apply Profit boost token on select market. Restrictions apply. See full terms, including methods of [e-mail] gambling problem call or text 1-800- gambler

[F]

it's Brett Vesely from Homeberg's Morning Sickness. Want to let you guys know about my friends over at Divine Design Landscaping.

[A]

Let me guess.

[F]

You like your backyard. It's simple. It's natural. It's low maintenance. Low maintenance. It's full of rocks and regret. And that one plastic chair you swear is tempor. It's been there since 2015. Look, I've seen what Divine Design Landscaping can do. And look, they can do everything from custom pavers to turf that actually looks real, not some 1980s AstroTurf. And they can handle the maintenance, too. So you can just sit back, relax and enjoy that yard. Go to divinedesignlawncare.com to get a free estimate.

[A]

Hol's morning sickness.

[B]

And now it's time for some science news.

[A]

All right. Hell, that's not right. What?

[F]

That's a wrong.

[A]

That's my thing. You do something better than that. Come on, get it. Pick it up.

[B]

Hello, my friends. Professor Brady Bogan here with your science news. Remember the big asteroid that was going to hit Earth in 2032?

[A]

No.

[B]

Then

[A]

I can't remember 2032. It hasn't happened yet.

[B]

And then they said, nope, it's going to hit the moon instead. NASA now says it's not happening either. Either way, they announced that yesterday there's zero percent chance of a lunar impact.

[A]

So nothing's ever been on the moon.

[B]

So the moon is safe.

[A]

It's safe from both asteroids and human contact.

[E]

Start to really like you. They just throw this stuff out there to rile us up. And then years later, never mind.

[A]

They're know it alls. They're running around doing stuff we don't understand and they scream out, look what we found. And then a few later, whoops, we were wrong.

[F]

I lost that bet. I thought we were going to get a Uranus joke in there.

[E]

I well, oh, didn't even see it coming.

[A]

Well, I heard him just hang on there, hang on. I heard him say big asteroid. And I'm like, oh, here we go.

[B]

A study may have figured out why human fun bags are so much bigger than they are in the rest of the animal kingdom.

[A]

Those are breasts. Adults.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Surgery evolved to have the research why women have bigger boobs. To keep babies warm. That's a theory.

[A]

That's not true.

[B]

What?

[A]

You don't.

[E]

Up under the crease. What?

[A]

How big are your boobs? You can fit a baby under them.

[B]

A new study found that chimpanzees love crystals too. Just like the ladies in Sedona.

[A]

Oh, they're all nuts.

[B]

Researchers gave chimps big chunks of crystal and rocks to see if they found one more interesting. They all went towards. Towards the crystals.

[E]

Hear that, ladies?

[B]

Even carrying them around, fascinated by them.

[A]

The Sedona women will consider that to be like, see, they have a special energy. But really what it is is something with the IQ of a chimpanzee is the same as a Sedona tourist who's just lost her marriage and needs to regroup with geodes.

[B]

But they got some of them back by trading bananas for them.

[A]

Of course, food trumps rocks. You know who else is blown away by shiny stuff? Ladies on their way to Sedona for the weekend. Bass. You're the same as bass. The bass probably in the bass population, they're down there going, let those shiny things have, like, energetic properties to take into the vortex. And the other bass, like, get out of your mind. And then the smart bass that has a radio show goes, these bass, go ahead, ladies. It's just a Taurus trap. And then they go, see, I told you. And then they bite into the shiny thing and it kills them. Chimps, bass, and recently divorced women in their 40s all have the same attractive properties of genesis.

[B]

And ravens.

[A]

And ravens, that's right. I'll go so far as to say ladies are smarter than ravens because I don't think a woman's gonna lose her mind if she sees tinfoil in the road.

[C]

Smart bird.

[A]

They're smart and all, but the tinfoil thing, you're like, alright, they're not that smart.

[B]

Huffington Post did a deep dive on the science behind why a lot of people think Thin Mints taste better frozen. Basically, the coldness activates the menthol in the mint and makes it stand out more.

[A]

Hey, by the way, I'm a science guy. I believe in science. I don't believe in the hooey that everybody else throws sky wizards and stuff, but can we get back on the cancer cure and lay off of the the Thin Mint research? They taste good both ways. There's no reason to worry about that.

[F]

It's the menthol.

[A]

Have we quit on cancer? I know this guy. This guy. I know where they studied that. Oh, somewhere down there on Martin Luther King Boulevard and Frank Thomas Avenue in Chicago.

[F]

Leave my new parts out of this.

[A]

So do you like your menthols frozen or what? Why do you think I smoke Mentos, man? Come on, we both know you smoke Mentos.

[B]

Finally, more space news. Can. Can SpaceX help NASA probe Uranus before it's too late?

[E]

Here it is.

[B]

It's over 1.5 billion miles away. Sometimes farther. So it takes a long time to get there because that Uranus remains largely unexplored.

[A]

If you're going to do the joke, do it.

[B]

SpaceX is working on a way to refuel ships as they're in space, which could help NASA make make it to Uranus a lot faster.

[A]

All right, enough, Brady.

[B]

That way they could do multiple probes.

[F]

I didn't think my tooth get any more pain.

[A]

I want to punch myself in the tooth and get a dentist visit immediately to get out of here. You don't even find it. That's your science news. You don't even laugh at these terrible Uranus stories that you think it's real. John, Is it? Cuz Kirby, always when you come home, man. We were on the floor with the Uranus stuff, man. Great job, man. Hey, dad.

[C]

What is it, Kirby? Herbs.

[A]

How far away is my anus?

[C]

You can't do it that way, Kirby. It's got to start with urine. You made me say it.

[B]

Speaking of smoking, kudos to the Girl Scout troop in New Jersey that set up their cookie stand outside a dispensary. The daylight dispensary in Mount Laurel, New Jersey.

[A]

That's the home event.

[B]

They're selling a lot of cookies.

[E]

Is it really?

[A]

Yeah. NFL Films is from Mount Laurel.

[E]

What made that stick for you?

[A]

The credits. I. When I read credits on tv, I remember almost all of them. Mount Laurel.

[B]

Wendy's is hiring a chief tasting officer. Officer pays 100 grand. Basically, you just have to taste Wendy's stuff, Brady.

[C]

So long.

[B]

No, you can apply at Wendy's. Chief tasting officer dot com.

[F]

Chief in it and everything.

[C]

Hey, this is aimed right at you. It's got the word chief in it. It's not long, so it's not going to take forever to type that.

[B]

I'm on it, Ralphie.

[C]

100K to eat, wench.

[E]

Wendy's.

[C]

Why are you still here?

[B]

That's amazing.

[C]

Even John, who doesn't want to see you go Understands. It's like setting a. You know, like a. Like Free Willy. It's time for you to go back home to Wendy's, Brady. If I was still alive, that would be my job. That's for sure. I'd be done telling all these fart jokes.

[E]

What do you think about this text, Ralph?

[A]

All right, Brady.

[E]

Don't you listen to that dickhead. We all love your humor.

[C]

Signed.

[A]

That's it.

[C]

Nathan Sutherland's girlfriend. All right, Michael and Troy, all the Uranus jokes you can handle on a Friday. More Uranus, Brady.

[B]

That's what they say anyway.

[C]

Get your ass over to Wendy's.

[B]

I will, Ralphie.

[C]

Your work is done here. It is time to set you free. Free. You are a man now.

[B]

See you soon.

[C]

All right, see you later. I'll be at Wendy's waiting for you to barge through them doors.

[A]

Wait.

[C]

Fat Albert used to come into a room, just kick it open. Hey, hey, hey. I'm here for a square burger today.

[B]

All right.

[A]

I gotta go.

[B]

Got a couple of Brady videos.

[A]

Why aren't you doing that job?

[B]

I'm not gonna apply.

[A]

I'm gonna do it right now. Give the.

[B]

I don't have time for.

[A]

Yeah, you do. Yes, you do. There's. Yes, you do. Shoot the videos over to Gummo over here and get your ass the computer and start.

[C]

I'm your guy.

[B]

Yeah, you don't have to move. You do it right.

[A]

You're basically. You're Neo to Wendy's. Right now he's going to wander in there and then there's going to be a guy in glasses. Mr. Bogan, welcome. We've been expecting you.

[C]

Hi, Mr. Anderson.

[B]

All right, the first one's a guy trying to prank his buddies by porn. This is a prank? Yeah, yeah.

[A]

There's guys trying to bust into a building.

[B]

They're all gathered down there. And he's dumping.

[D]

Right?

[A]

You want to do the play by play? That's right. He's on the second floor of a building. He's on the roof. And there's guys trying to bust in. It's in a cruddy country.

[F]

Some dirt on him.

[A]

And then he dumps. Like he dumps concrete mix on their heads. And then he falls off.

[B]

Too heavy.

[A]

Yeah. His momentum carried him as he tried to kill the other terrorists that were trying to kill him. It's a win win for us. Terrorists dying at the door. And then the one trying to kill him falls off the top of the roof. It's all good.

[B]

Birthday party prank.

[A]

It's not a prank.

[E]

Okay, the fence broke or what?

[A]

The house broke. The house broke, cuz it's made of clay and dreams.

[E]

Oh, come on.

[A]

There's no dreams in there. Okay, Wishes. They got plenty of those. You get three every. Every time you open the sugar thing, you get three wishes.

[B]

Next one's a work accident.

[A]

All right. Oh, jeez. Oh, it's just. There's an explosion for no reason. There's crispy. Oh, it's a electric thing. And he's holding on to something, and then it explodes, and the man bursts into flames. Wow.

[E]

Are they watching this in a bedroom?

[A]

That's training video. It's a safety training video. That's how the bulls did some recruiting. If you see the writing on the wall, it's all Japanese, so. Wow. Yeah, the dude just climbs in, and there's a small fire, and then he is the fire.

[E]

No, the other guy backed away.

[A]

What's amazing is as that Asian man burns, nothing else does. He's the only flammable thing the room.

[E]

Wow. It's a good death, Brady.

[A]

That's.

[B]

Yeah, Brady's another one. I think we might have done this one, Brett. Maybe you did this one. This lady standing by that as the train's going by.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And just a log takes her out.

[A]

Oh, that's a log. I was like, what's laying on the train tracks? Well, she's just walking along the train tracks next to logs, and the train shoots a log at her.

[E]

Wow.

[A]

And it launched her. You know what?

[B]

Holy cow.

[A]

I don't even know why they keep logs that close to the trains, let alone ladies wandering around on there.

[E]

What, those, like, old railroad tiles of logs?

[B]

It's up on the deck, too,

[A]

man.

[C]

You know what?

[A]

Everybody that bitches about this place just needs to see a video of India for two minutes and just realize how lucky we are. I mean, I'm serious. Like, you see stuff like that, if this doesn't play in your head immediately and an eagle soars through your line of. Of sight, I'm not in India, and that's awesome. Good God. You know what Indians never do? And I got to give them a tip of the cat. Not the fry bread ones. You know what I'm talking about. When they come here and become doctors and stuff, they never, like, wave their country's flag anymore. No, but some third world people do. Like, there's Palestinian flags and stuff going around. I don't even know where you buy those. If you told an Indian said, hey, there's trouble in India. Here's your flag. No, no, no, no, no. That is no longer my flag, my friend. I am. I am done eating water. I am here now. Eagles be Greenwood, all that stuff. That's me.

[B]

Good point. They don't.

[A]

Yeah, they never do. You. I don't even know an Indian flag looks like, because they're super not waving them. And there's stuff that goes on over there all the time.

[B]

Like.

[A]

No, no, no, no, my friend. I left there for a reason. No, no, no. They bring the food and the smells. That's the thing. Whenever you go into their houses, their food smells are worse than. And they have to think that of us, too. God, their houses all smell like hot dogs and chicken noodle soup. But I'd take that over whatever the hell your house is smell like. But you never have the flag flags up. You bring those statues of eight armed gods and all that colorful stuff. They don't push anything on you. They still wear the clothes, but that's just a thing they'd rather honor. Banner Health and stuff. Yeah, they do the Discover Card or Banner Health. Those are the two things. Why would I ever put the flag above that place? You know me, I am. I go to karaoke every Friday and I belt it out. Yeah, he's not doing. He'd be like, because I'm an American, you piece of crap. And then he'd release the eagle in his office and it flies around, goes back in its cage. That's insane. All right, Bert, what do you got for Friday? Video seatbelts, boys. Oh, boy. Gummoe's angry. Yes. Oh, no. All right, we're opening up with a lady spreading her honey hole, hovering over another woman's rose. But. Oh, they're bumping. They're bumping.

[F]

Rose.

[A]

Those buds, they're. Oh, they're breathing. Their buttholes are breathing and they're touching them together. Oh, God. It looked like. You know what it looked like? It looked like if you. You went over to Dunkin Donuts and you take a bite of the one, you're not sure what's in it, and it's cherry. And then you put the other. The two cherry donuts together. Oh, man.

[B]

You just double down your Arby's.

[A]

Oh, man, that is ground chuck coming out of each of them. And they're tight touching it. God, it looks like it would hurt. All right, turn that off.

[F]

All right, well, that's just for starters.

[A]

Oh, all right. Good Lord. Yeah, I can't. Touching rosebuds is weird. Especially those old gnarled up ones those two had. Sometimes they look like Smooth beetles. What's this? Oh, we got diarrhea. Oh, Jesus. Oh, my God. There's reverse cowgirl diarrhea is what we're watching.

[C]

Watching.

[A]

And it's yellow.

[C]

All right.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There's too much curry in that woman's diet. Oh, what does that room smell like? Oh, my.

[F]

This is from scatbook.com.

[A]

well, sure it is. Oh, gosh. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, look at. It's just.

[A]

I hear it. Okay, that's plenty bashing into the. Is this ever. Oh, there you go. That's on the big screen. Brat.

[C]

What?

[A]

Gonna punch you in your bad tooth. Okay, here's another.

[F]

Here's some. Here's some strength.

[A]

She's in a nice. She's on a. Oh, she's doing a handstand with her legs over her shoulders from the ground and bouncing around on

[E]

a sex toy prehensile tail.

[A]

No, that's a sex toy, damn it. That's pretty good work. She's very thin. She's in good shape.

[F]

Shape.

[A]

She's. She's gymnastically holding her feet in the air while she walks on her hands. Now she's making a new move. She's going around the corner here. Now she's just showing us what it looks like from behind. Same move. She's very flexible. I think she. I think she used to do gymnastics and then, you know, turn that lemon into a lemonade stand. How about that? Good on you, lady. You know what they say in the world of literature? Write what you're good at. I think they say it in only fans hands, too.

[F]

And I guess we'll just finish here.

[A]

All right, there's another rosebud and there's.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[A]

All right, there's a dude. There's a black guy right behind an open rosebud covered in diarrhea. Oh, he's devouring.

[E]

Real.

[A]

Look where. Froze. Oh, my. I don't think I can throw up with my eye. I don't think it looks like Chappelle. Oh, he's just devouring Dave Chappelle on Larry. Oh,

[C]

what the.

[A]

Turn it off.

[E]

We're gonna be off the air for another week.

[F]

I guess we'll finish there.

[A]

There's a top ten.

[B]

That is a top ten. Oh, yeah.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

Let's go to a break. I can't.

[E]

Don't do that. Look at your eye looks, but I know.

[A]

I just got better. Why am I doing that? Like, I control this. Why are you. Why are you retching? Why am I doing it? You Saw why I'm doing it.

[C]

Then stop it.

[A]

I can't. It's humanity. It can't be stopped. It's a moving train.

[B]

Oh, my.

[C]

What are you doing?

[A]

I didn't do it. Why was Dave Chappelle doing that? I'm going home.

[B]

How's the eye?

[A]

It didn't feel good. My bubble finally went away. The smooth morning. It's gone. So I'm feeling all right. But, man, you'll probably see that one

[F]

in December at Happy Endings.

[A]

That's. That's bad stuff there. When you said buckle up, I didn't expect that.

[F]

Bailey and Crandall were high fiving this

[A]

morning with that one.

[F]

So on. On text.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

The way the dude stares at it.

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And you just. You have 10 to 15 seconds of don't do it. Please don't do it. And then he does the full on. Like. Like he's eating ice cream without his

[F]

hands massaging it and everything else and just.

[A]

Oh, all right, that's enough of that. There goes your Brady report, everybody. The 8 o' clock word is hardwired to self destruct. Wow. Well, hardwired. There you go. 8:23. Put that in there for the 8:00 o' clock word and welcome our guest. Yeah, she'll come in and watch that too.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

We're not watching that.

[A]

I'm not watching again. But she has to. Oh, it's Friday. If you're a Friday guest, you got to sit through. There you go. There's your Brady Report. Sorry about that. It's not weird.

[B]

It's pretty cool, actually. No membership fee.

[C]

I have heard enough of this.

[A]

Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. Oh, you just say it and you're gonna go on the air saying it now. Gina Brion. Am I saying it it right? Can I say it French? Well, you got to talk into a microphone. You've done this before. Yeah. You're Puerto Rican. You don't need a microphone.

[C]

Look at you.

[D]

I'm gonna.

[A]

Did you just simp Brad?

[D]

Yeah, I did.

[A]

Wow.

[D]

Did you see how that works?

[A]

That was awesome.

[D]

Thank you.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Didn't even reach for the microphone.

[D]

No, I don't have to reach for microphone.

[B]

It was like.

[A]

It was like a snap. Brad ran to it and put it in your face.

[D]

To all of you.

[A]

Oh, my God. I'm looking forward to it. I've never seen seen. Simping so easy ain't easy ain't easy. But simping so easy. A man who puts now, normally you'd say, he jammed it in her face, but then. It's bad.

[D]

Yeah, it's bad.

[A]

No, she just sat with her hands and goes, yeah, I've done this before. She looked up at it twice. And Brad ran over and did that. We weren't going to do that.

[B]

Did you hear the background?

[D]

Eventually, if Brad.

[A]

One of you would have. He would have one of. Because he's afraid to offend. I would. I would have gone stalemate with you as long as we got.

[D]

You would have stared me down until I went like this.

[A]

I'd have just turned mine towards it.

[B]

So easy. My lady.

[D]

And I would have been like, thank you, good sir.

[A]

Thank you. Been in this room for 25 years. We've interviewed I don't know how many people. I have never seen a woman just go. I'm not reaching for that. That's my job.

[D]

Put away, guys. The mic should have been ready for me.

[A]

Yeah. Not the other way around.

[C]

I mean, really, it was high.

[A]

Really?

[D]

This is a production issue is what

[C]

I want to say.

[A]

You're blaming us now? This is gaslighting. I didn't even know what that meant until right now.

[D]

Right now.

[A]

I've been telling people. Oh, gaslighting is not a thing. I'm feeling it. Wow. Gina's feeling very threatened to was wrong the whole time. Gina's at stand up live. We said you're at 10pm prev. You're not stand up live. I know. We're screwing everything up around here.

[D]

The mic's not ready. You guys have the wrong info.

[A]

You're a Puerto Rican woman and they're not known for their height.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

Name one. Like, Amazon.

[D]

Son of a. How tall does bad bunny have to be?

[A]

He's not a woman. It doesn't matter. Most of the America thought he might be, but that they didn't watch. No, but you didn't even. Like, you looked up. Like, I don't do up.

[D]

Yeah, No, I don't.

[B]

I don't up.

[A]

Yeah, you don't up. Why would you up. And you're putting headphones on wrong, too. You're doing whatever you want.

[D]

I am putting headphones on the way that you put them on when you have hair.

[A]

Hey, hey.

[B]

I'm so so now another J.

[A]

Hey, take your head. Look. Yeah, look at Clark Gable over here.

[C]

This is what you do.

[A]

Put your goddamn headphones on like a person the whole time.

[C]

Not be bullied into ruining.

[A]

Why you're not a steak. How dare you. Oh, my God. All I'm trying to do is promote away. And she keeps messing with it.

[B]

It's kind of cool.

[A]

It's not nuts. It's like Joe Theisman, 1981, it's ya tittles face mask. Gina Brion's at the Stand Up Live. Friday, Saturday, that's tonight. And tomorrow, standuplive.com, if you want to go. And I had so many questions, but now I'm afraid of you.

[D]

Puerto Rican women from New York have that effect.

[A]

Puerto Rican women who go to New York are. Man, you. And you seem so pleasant, but I know at a drop of a hat, you could kill me right away. Okay, so who's the last boyfriend you stabbed? Let's just start with the not stabbed,

[D]

but I did break his door down.

[A]

No kidding. Yeah, with a barrel run shoulder like,

[D]

kick the out of.

[A]

Oh, you can't say. No, you didn't.

[D]

I kicked the gaka out of it.

[A]

You kicked the door down? What did he do?

[D]

I kicked the door down. We were having. It was a really toxic relationship.

[A]

If you can't tell, well, there's a Puerto Rican woman. How dare you.

[D]

I'm not the problem.

[A]

We're gonna lose a door here in a minute. Launched in the Heights. We're gonna lose the door. Is right. I watched in the Heights. I was in Columbia once and looked over the bridge.

[D]

In the Heights is not a documentary.

[C]

I think it is.

[A]

I do believe it is just Puerto Rican. Did you ever play the numbers?

[D]

Of course I did.

[A]

Of course it's a documentary. It's a documentary. Look.

[D]

That's a part of New York culture as well.

[A]

Guys. If you didn't cry when Usnavi finally got together at the end. It's a moving study of. Have you not seen it? I haven't. It's fantastic.

[D]

You have to watch it. It's so great.

[A]

I was running around screaming the song Ice Guy.

[D]

Oh, my God, you were. I thought you were an enemy. Look at that. We've made friends, guys.

[A]

I mean, I'm not going to your neighborhood or anything, but I'm, I'm definitely. Doors are flying off right away.

[D]

Right away.

[A]

So this guy and you were in a toxic relationship. He locks you out.

[D]

He. We were having. Yeah, I guess I have a thing with locked doors.

[A]

I don't know.

[D]

It's a trauma. And so we were having a fight, and he went in the bedroom, locked the door. And that's like the one thing I, I, I was like, please don't lock doors. I said it nicely in the beginning. Please don't lock doors. And Then tempers were high and the door was locked and I was really mad and I kicked it down. It's toxic.

[B]

Was it a front kick or a mule kick? Well, like, back.

[D]

It was. It was an mma, like.

[A]

Like a spinning kick?

[D]

No, it was like a straight, like, straight off kick.

[A]

I asked you. This is a very, very clever deflection. I asked you what had happened and you just said, I kicked the door down again.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

You did not tell me why.

[D]

Oh, no, because it was locked.

[A]

Oh, I understand that, but why was he locking you out?

[D]

Just because.

[A]

To antagonize.

[D]

It was to antagonize me because he

[A]

just got up off the couch and said, I'm going to piss her off.

[D]

No, he was a narcissist, so he wanted the emotional response so he knew if he locked the door, I would have him and response. Or he would press the button.

[B]

Yep.

[D]

Because this is what narcissists do. They press the button and then they go, you're crazy. No, you press the crazy button or are you. Button's right there.

[A]

I mean, you made him a narcissist.

[D]

No, no, no. Both are true. Am I crazy?

[C]

Absolutely.

[D]

Yes, absolutely.

[A]

Did he have a right to ever lock you out?

[D]

No, because I was never. It was an argument and it was unnecessary to lock the door. He was escalating the argument because he was losing the argument.

[A]

See where I'm going here? I see it. What were you arguing? Arguing about? Oh, see, this is what I asked you originally.

[D]

The girls in his email.

[A]

Oh, that's a good argument. See, why didn't you just say naked

[D]

pictures in his email?

[A]

Well, that's fine.

[D]

Yeah, see, I thought you were gonna win that until I said no.

[A]

I really thought you had every right to kick. But he didn't lock the door down because he was a narcissist. He locked the door down because he did something wrong. You caught him and you were gonna kill him.

[D]

No, he locked the door because narcissists don't take accountability.

[A]

Exactly. But you. You found out about it.

[D]

I found out about it. And he locked the door. He wasn't afraid. He was 6, 2 and 200 pounds.

[A]

He wasn't. I'm 6ft, 200 pounds. I'm afraid of you. I just met you. I know.

[B]

See?

[D]

And that's why maybe I really am that scary.

[B]

What happened after you kicked it down?

[D]

He laughed. He laughed because he got the response he wanted.

[A]

He laughed because you were paying for the apartment. No, I wasn't just making sure.

[D]

No, no, I kicked. I kicked the door down. He laughed. He said, you're crazy. I said, I'm leaving. He said, where are you gonna go? Nobody's gonna want you.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Like, that's crazy.

[A]

And then you punched him.

[D]

And then. Then I stabbed him 37 times. I'm just kidding.

[C]

I never did.

[D]

I never did. But I should have that situation so bad. I really.

[A]

And I was outside going, piragua taga. You were.

[D]

You were. I heard you. It was beautiful.

[A]

It was beautiful. I do. I sing about the. That. That ice had me.

[D]

You sing like an angel. Thank you.

[A]

Voice of a generation. People say that. Thanks, Gina. Thanks for noticing. That's all I want, really, is someone to notice.

[D]

I just want to be seen.

[A]

I just want to be seen and heard and understood. I don't need you to fix me. Just hear me.

[D]

No, you need to be fixed.

[A]

But.

[C]

Well, probably.

[A]

But I don't want you. Yes, all of that.

[D]

And then.

[A]

But first.

[D]

But first the seeing in the hearing.

[A]

So are you in a relationship now?

[D]

I'm married.

[A]

Oh, my God. Were you with your husband when you were kicking this guy's door down?

[D]

No, I actually met him two years after we had split and I had been like, dating for two years. And then I met this wonderful human being who's my husband now. Absolutely amazing.

[A]

Was he in, like, in the area or did you find him like.

[D]

No, I was working on cruise ships. My husband's a musician, so he was also on cruise ships. And it just kind of happened. Like I got on the cruise ship and I was kind of in the. Just the mess of the dating world. And I was like, man, I don't really care. I'm not even going to try to get into a relationship. And then, boom, Met the guy that ended up being my husband.

[A]

Now what was he in Kiss? What band was he playing on? No, he.

[D]

He does.

[A]

That's so funny that you know that.

[D]

No, he's does dueling pianos.

[A]

Oh, no kidding. So he's fun.

[D]

He's fun.

[A]

These guys are funny and he's fun. They're a blast. Something about dueling piano people. They just never stop being fun. I never.

[D]

They're entertainers, so they're just like. And. And they're so good, like on the spot. He's just. He's just really.

[A]

And they're also like dopey humans who hear conversations and then a song starts in their head. You can never be sad.

[D]

100. He'll hear something and he'll just start singing a song. Cuz. And we're both that Way. So like, you know, it's. It's a fun.

[A]

Is he also Puerto Rican? No. Oh, no.

[D]

What is he? He is a white.

[A]

He's one of us. Yes, he's a white. Has he felt the Puerto Rican charm?

[D]

He has, but he's really good at

[A]

diffusing it because he starts singing.

[C]

Hello, my baby starts playing.

[A]

I know how to get out of it.

[D]

Let me just play some Phil Collins

[C]

and she'll calm down.

[A]

Played a little in the air tonight.

[B]

Come on now.

[A]

The second you're done, the second you're done, start doing the drum solo.

[D]

Really good at diffusing.

[A]

Well, good.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And no kids with them.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I have a little one five year old. A five year. Oh, the worst age.

[D]

I love.

[B]

No, that's great.

[A]

Stop saying every parent says that. No, I love it.

[D]

Even with the difficulties. I love it because just watching a little human being form, like he's forms thoughts and he says the most outlandish things and it's like, God, you gross. When you get older, you're going to realize, wow, all that freedom bothers you.

[A]

Butts and their booger hands.

[D]

What's going on with you? Why don't you like children?

[A]

Have you seen them? They're disgusting. Yeah. You do their laundry. Yeah. I'm telling you, they're not that great. They are little germ. All moms do is like gloss over the obvious. I'm. No.

[D]

If you ask me about the. The hard parts. Yeah. Like, it's gross the way kids just like literally just sneeze on each other, cough in each other's face. And you're like, you're the reason. You're the reason.

[A]

You're why we blame China. But it's them, you guys, the whole

[D]

time, it was a part.

[B]

You want them in it to, to keep them straight, strong.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Protect them from all this germaphobia stuff.

[D]

Yeah. But part of it is like, yeah, your. Your immune system has to be built.

[B]

But I am a wreck when kids are sick. I'm like, I gotta stay.

[A]

It's.

[D]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not me.

[B]

I'm.

[D]

I. I go in guns a blazing. I'm like, what do you want to hug? Hug me, you stinky, sticky, disgusting human being. I love you.

[A]

Those strips in his underwear.

[D]

Actually, no, he's. He's pretty good at that for right now.

[A]

Because you bought him cover colored underwear. No, that's what moms do to cover

[D]

the way you say the word.

[A]

I know, it did sound bad. I noticed that too. I noticed that. Yeah. To me. I saw the guys in the fruity looms cross their eyes.

[B]

He's wearing nothing but mulatto.

[A]

That's right. Yeah. Even worse.

[D]

Guys, this is really. Someone call hr.

[A]

This is really. We are hr.

[C]

Oh, God.

[A]

You were in a meeting.

[D]

That's the problem.

[A]

Okay, so.

[D]

So that's the problem.

[A]

I did. When I said colored underwear, I'm like, that's not. No, no.

[E]

Why would you.

[A]

Why would you use that terminology? Could you imagine if that was a commercial? Like, Fruit of Loom's new Colored underwear. Oh, God.

[D]

Everybody's eyes, like, immediately, Sydney Sweeney would be like, haha. She'd be like, you guys, I'm not the only one.

[A]

Colored jeans.

[B]

My colors look great.

[D]

Oh, God.

[A]

Gina Brion, what's your husband's name?

[D]

His name is Jeremy Orin.

[A]

Wow, that is really white name, too.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Did your family take to that? Did they want you to marry into those?

[D]

Oh, they loved him. Him and my dad along immediately. My dad did not actually want me. Like, I don't care who I'm with as long as I'm happy. But white people do make him a little bit.

[A]

Like, it's natural you feel about white people the way you feel about children. Yeah.

[C]

That was my dad.

[D]

Just. All right. At least he's cool.

[A]

Yeah. And he seems fun. And then he just probably sang him a song. I love your daughter so much. I always. I don't know why I'm picturing be like a 30s.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know why.

[D]

Why?

[A]

It's fun. To me, that seems fun. It was a better time, that's all. I just.

[C]

Was it. For whom?

[A]

Give me a time machine. I ain't scared of nothing.

[D]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

You can do that. I'll go anywhere you want. Pick a name. Okay. You never hear that.

[D]

Not everybody's that lucky.

[A]

Nope. Not at all. Gina Brion's at Standup Live tonight and tomorrow if you want to go Standup live dot com. Are you watching the War?

[D]

The what now?

[A]

The war. It's that TV show on Fox. Runs every night. It's on cnn, too. They handle it different. And then MSNBC just cry the whole time.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. I'm not really great with period pieces.

[A]

A lot of that going on. You're not. Oh, she's gonna wait till it's over and then.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. And then I'll. Then I'll binge it later.

[A]

Have you seen how cool it is that we have the technology to do heat imaging of human beings and then blow them up and nobody says anything? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool to us.

[D]

That's because we've been watching it in movies forever. We're mentally trained to be okay with. Understand that that's what the training is. It's like, let's desensitize everybody to this so that when it happens in real life, you're like, yeah, I've seen this in every Michael Bay film.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

At first it was a scorpion, right? Predator.

[A]

Yep.

[D]

Right. Absolutely. Yes. Like, stuff like that. And now we see it in real life and we're like, yeah, that doesn't affect me because they've already been putting it into the system.

[A]

I literally caught myself the other day eating some meat and putting it in my mouth and watching 14 people explode on TV, and. Oh, I took another bite first.

[D]

Yeah, that can't. Yeah, that. I can't. A lot of the stuff does. Like, when I. When I see it, I. I can't watch it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. It's awesome.

[D]

It still hurts.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Even though we can't. We are so used to all that. But it doesn't mean that on some level, on a moral level, you don't go, jesus, where we're at right now,

[A]

what are we doing? Yeah, it's crazy. And then you think about the days before tv. We just flew a plane over with a bomb, and guys pushed it out, and wherever it landed, it landed.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Humans are kind of awful, huh? Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

We. We can be. Yeah, we can be great. Or we can be awful.

[A]

Man, I wish you'd put those headphones on. Right?

[D]

No, I know it bothers you. I can see it in your eyes that it's bothering my defiance.

[A]

Bothering you because it looks so uncomfortable, like your pinky's gonna fall. So you're holding it.

[B]

There's a strap.

[A]

It goes right over your head. Do you like bald guys? Or is that a thing you would like if you were on a Tinder? Imagine.

[C]

Imagine.

[A]

No, it's. That's what. I'm used to, that, actually.

[D]

No, no, no. Some of my best friends are bald.

[A]

Like, it's.

[D]

I love bald guys. Like, some of my absolute best friend guys.

[A]

I have never been on the other side of that sentence. I now get it. I get it now. I get it.

[D]

You're learning a lot of lessons right now.

[A]

It's amazing. I finally get that. Oh, my God. It's fine. That hit me and was hilarious. That's funny. Gina, we're out of time, but if you please leave us with words of wisdom. Fix the world in one sentence. If you were president of Earth, what

[D]

do you Say division is intentional. Don't fall for the tricks.

[A]

Ooh, nice.

[D]

There you go.

[A]

Yeah. And if you do, just kick the door down and handle it. Yeah, yeah.

[F]

Don't lock the doors.

[A]

Don't lock.

[F]

Don't lock the doors.

[D]

Lock the doors.

[A]

The door. Not in the neighborhood you were talking about. You want to lock all the doors?

[D]

Yeah, obviously.

[A]

Lock everyone else out. Not me.

[D]

Obviously.

[A]

Okay, that works.

[D]

Knock out the riffraff.

[A]

Gina, Brian's at Stand Up Live. Thank you. It's been a pleasure.

[D]

It's been a pleasure.

[A]

It's 98 KUPD. Hey, it's not weird. It's pretty cool, actually.

[B]

No membership fees.

[C]

I have heard enough of this

[A]

Holmberg's morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. It's spicy Latina day here in the morning sickness stuff. Nice job. Warning. Is. That is. That's good. That was good. I like that. It's called kerosene. It's streamable now. You can grab it by the warning. Thanks. Lair Bear. Welcome, John. Larry dropped that off for us this morning. Said I just got the new warning. You want to play it? Like, hell yeah. Good stuff, man. The video is really cool, too. Brett had it playing in the background. Beautiful ladies singing about burning up an old Camaro or something. That's a cool song. It's catchy. And I'm trying to place in my head the song. It sounds like. Because it's in there. Somebody's like, play it again. Jesse wants it again. Maybe we will. We might play before we get out here. That was great. I liked. I like when new music is like, oh, this is what I've been waiting for. That was fun. We've been waiting for them to pop for five years, and there's gotta just jump out. I don't know how they're not being promoted through the moon. But, yeah, good stuff. The warning. The nine o' clock word once again is Harvester. Get on that on the app and at the website98kupd.com. While you're on that the website, go to the pick of the litter page and take a look at what we had to play with yesterday. Larry went with me yesterday, and there are two little Chihuahua mix puppies named Win. Well, I called them Win Win because that's what I wanted Larry to do. They were called Winston and Winifred. And Winifred is, you know, the sister of Winston. And I was holding Winston and Winifred came in the room and he just relaxed. He's like, oh, there's my. There's. There's my sis. It was adorable. I'm trying so hard to get Larry to at least foster these two because they loved him. They need to get into a home right away. Watch the video of these two adorable little dogs. If you're a person who just wants a couple little pups, you got an apartment or you got a little kids and you want them to love dogs, but you don't want them to get knocked over by big dogs all the time. These two are ready to go. They were awesome. So go to our website to the pick of the litter page. Lost our home Pet rescue Turf monsters. AZ helps us out with that all the time.

[B]

Time.

[A]

It's other than there's one third of that video that's ugly as sin. And it isn't win and Winifred, it's me. Just ignore the ugly part and move on with the cute puppies because they're great. Hop on that. It's time for the entertainment drill. It's brought to you by our friends at the Schwarz Laser Eye Center. You know about my eye issues and you probably have a couple of your own. If you're not seeing great or you're seeing floaties or you're seeing something weird, no harm and just checking it out. TMIDoc.com and going over to Dr. Jay Schwartz for that complimentary comment. I got a lot of people emailing me saying, you know what? You talked me into it. I got to go get looked at. Odds are they're not going to find anything. Most people's eyes are okay, just have vision issues. So get you in the system, maybe some lasik. You qualify for that. Maybe a lens replacement. Whatever you want to do. In the end, you'll find out where you stand and he'll have a plan for you with the rest of the Schwartz Laser Eye Team crew. So they'll get you taken care of. They take care of the diamondbacks, they take care of the suns. That's why they're the official eye center of both of them, those teams. And you can check them out. Team IDOC.com take care of your eyes. Trust me on that one. You don't want to recover from anything eye related. It sucks. Schwarz Laser Eye Center Brady Entertainment.

[B]

Savannah Guthrie visited the Today show yesterday to thank her colleagues for their support.

[A]

Drum up interest in that case again because we've stopped paying attention.

[B]

She told him, I'm still standing and I'm. I still have hope and I'm still me. She didn't Give a time. And she. She's not back. She just popped in to say, hey, I'm. I am coming back. But we haven't announced the.

[A]

The date yet, man.

[B]

Yes. And then the group got together and did a prayer on the air, I guess.

[A]

That's going to be so awkward. Meteorologist Al Roker.

[B]

No. What's his Dylan dryer.

[A]

I haven't watched it today's show, since Al Roker was on it. So I don't even know. Wilford, what was the last guy? The old, old man?

[B]

Willard Scott.

[A]

Willard Scott. Wilford Brimley.

[F]

Same thing.

[B]

It's his birthday today.

[A]

Diabetes. That's all he says it's going to be 80 degrees with diabetes.

[B]

Willard would have been 92.

[A]

This guy said, pops, I got an email. It says the warning sucks. Those clams can suck it, old man Artigue style. Our music's way better. Signed Katie and the Hobbs. All right. All right. You people like that a lot. It's over here in the Midwest. Gonna be snowy and diabetes.

[B]

The latest on the Britney Spears dui.

[A]

Oh, boy.

[B]

Is they found an unknown substance in her car and they think she was under the influence of drugs and alcohol. No, they're waiting for. They're waiting for the test to come back.

[A]

This is shocking news. It's gonna take the war off the headlines. Britney did drugs. Dylan Brooks got his DUI too, son.

[B]

How many you think will will be in the mix?

[A]

What do you mean? Drugs?

[B]

Yeah, multiple.

[A]

Nothing would shock me. She's doing cocktails or whatever.

[B]

A couple of scripts and. Oh, yeah, and maybe some buzz balls.

[A]

I don't know if those are drugs, Brady. I think those are legal. I know. I think you can get those. I don't think that's anything. But I do think that if she's on all.

[B]

I see now when I would go to the grocery store. Oh, there's the buzz ball. Yeah.

[A]

You know, you can avoid that.

[B]

Don't go to the grocery store.

[A]

Right doordash those groceries.

[B]

You're not going to keep me out of it.

[A]

You love it in there, don't you?

[B]

Yeah, I do.

[C]

God, how?

[A]

Why? Oh, it's the worst.

[C]

And get new friends.

[F]

People talk to you there.

[C]

That's right. There's others in there.

[A]

The others.

[F]

Something in common.

[C]

Oh, it's the best. We're all there for the same glorious purpose.

[A]

Eating.

[B]

Christina Applegate says the money she was offered to do anchorman was so low she passed on it. But Will Ferrell Farrell and Adam McKay took money out of their own deal and Stepped up, paid her. She said she's glad because it was one of the best experiences she ever had.

[A]

Had.

[B]

It was fun doing it.

[F]

It's because the check cashed.

[A]

Well, it was also ended up being great.

[B]

Some of Hollywood's greatest treasures are being stored in a Hutchinson, Kansas, 600ft underground salt mine. They've got it because It's a constant 68 degree temperature, 45% humidity. Ideal storage for paper and film. So they have. Have everything from George Clooney's. George Clooney's Batman suit. The one with the nipples.

[A]

Yep. Cloney is the scary version of George Clooney because he's not human.

[B]

They've got the movies like Ben Hur, Star wars, some of the old silent films, every episode of mash.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

The original negative of wizard of Oz.

[A]

So they're telling everybody where this. An unbelievable amount of money.

[B]

You can come down there and visit the. It's called the Strataka museum. There's about 50 acres worth of stuff that are still off limits. They also have some secret documents, government documents stored there.

[A]

Where is it? It's in the middle of Kansas. Yeah, there's that thing in Kansas. I think it's Kansas also where the president would fly and hide. That might be the same place in case of some sort of a. An attack that they've got. Is it Iowa or Kansas? They got a spot.

[B]

Well, this one in Kansas also has newspapers announcing the assassination of Abraham Lincoln still preserved in there.

[A]

Well, those. They're no good anymore. We already know those newspapers are. Boy, the newspapers, they are behind.

[B]

Don't forget about the Batsuit with the nipples. Yeah, that's there too.

[F]

Why would you save that one?

[A]

The Batsuit?

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Or the Lincoln thing.

[F]

No, the bat.

[A]

Batsuit.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

That's the.

[A]

Of all the bad suits.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

I don't want that. That's the dollar tree one.

[B]

It's to keep the nipples at that temperature.

[A]

I guess they got to stay hard.

[B]

There's a couple from the Amazing Race that's suing CBS for 8 million. Jonathan and Anna Towns said they are unfairly portrayed as morally depraved. And he was abusive. He was an abusive spouse.

[A]

Did he hit her on the show or something? I think I know which ones they're talking about. It's a great show.

[B]

They had one particular meltdown during the shooting and Jonathan was diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum because he yells at his wife.

[A]

We're all autistic if we're mad at women. Take accountability, ladies. Sometimes we're gonna shout at you. Doesn't make us. Like Gina said, we're not all narcissists Just because we're mad. Mad at you.

[B]

It'll go away for 8 million.

[A]

Well, it would help a lot. It would. It would calm him down. He probably wouldn't hit her as much if he had $8 million. The bills come due. He's not angry anymore. Most people argue over money and sex. So you're getting rid of one of the problems.

[B]

Looks like part of Hole is getting together to play some music.

[A]

Courtney Hole and Courtney Love.

[F]

Courtney Hole?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Courtney.

[A]

No, start over.

[B]

That's not our last name.

[A]

No, keep going.

[B]

Courtney Love and Melissa.

[A]

You can't do it. It's a good name though.

[F]

Do it.

[A]

Come on.

[B]

After me.

[A]

It's not bad. It's not terrible. Yeah. Expected it to be a lot better

[F]

than Mike would have done, so I'm good.

[B]

They're gonna do new music as well.

[A]

Those are the two girls in Hole. And then there's two dudes and they're not.

[B]

You're not gonna get to see the entire Hole.

[A]

They hate them. Yeah. Okay, you're going. Is Kirby listening to the shift of the day off or something?

[B]

Just letting you know.

[A]

No, you're not. You're letting Kirby know something. They're coding with your daughter. Wacky, fun weekend jokes.

[B]

Good one, Pop.

[A]

Yeah, that's exactly right. Don't listen to him, man. They were dying down here at the dispensary. Dad mentioned those buzz Buzz balls, man. Let's grab a few of those.

[B]

The entertainment drill.

[A]

Buzz balls.

[C]

K's going to love this.

[A]

We should just start calling it the Kirby Entertainment drill here.

[C]

Are you Kirby Derbs?

[A]

It's 9:31. We got the Guadalupe Squares coming up. But Thriller's sick. We're supposed to have Thriller's mom in today because this is his. This is his two term birthday. Had he not tumbled out two months early, this is the day he would have been born or expected at least. And it would have come out normal. But she shot him out two months earlier. So we were going to have her come in and apologize to her son live on the air. But he's sick and she didn't want to come without him.

[B]

I don't blame her.

[F]

Toledo hosting or.

[A]

Yeah, Larry Toledo.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

No, we got Sam the Metallic Larry's.

[F]

That new morning show. That hot new morning. You know what?

[A]

We should have him do it. Is that bragging about his new morning show. I'll just head home. That's perfect. Guadalupe Squares are coming up 5, 8, 5, 9, 800. The word for 9 o' clock is harvester. Get on that right now and then give us a call. We need a girl. We need a boy. We'll close out with the Guadalupe squares next. It's 98. Hey, it's not Weir. It's pretty cool, actually.

[B]

No membership fees.

[C]

I have heard enough of this.

[A]

Morning sickness. The old method of treatment for a person in this condition was to throw him in jail. I like that phrase. I want to say it out loud because it would make my mouth feel better. But a couple of the words will get you yelled at. Right, Larry? Right. Got to protect that license, you see?

[B]

Right.

[A]

Can't say those things. Well, you could say those. None of the. None of those would be a strip of a license. But it would probably cause a lawsuit. I'll leave it alone. Boy, it wants to just tumble out, though. Bert, it's time now. By the way. You got a few more minutes with the nine o' clock word, which is harvester. Hop on that and get on that Metallica thing. Last day you can do that. And it is a unbelievable contest Larry McFeely put together for us at Q Prime. It's pretty great. Metallica and good ups. This is here in Vegas. Check them out. And we give you a hotel room, 200 in fuel, and you're loaded up and ready to go to Metallica. It's the last day of the contest, so there's a lot of excitement around it. And you guys have blown up our app and our website. And we thank you in advance for that because that's great. And keeps those jackasses that are in charge of this place off our backs for a little while. Going, wow, your numbers are fantastic.

[F]

Tom. Protect license, please.

[A]

We did some research on your numbers and found. Oh, here go we. We go. Oh, here we go. The research suits. I talked to the guys at iHeart. I know we're doing the same thing. The guys that I heard are the ones who officially ruined radio and it just trickled down to all the other companies. Larry's not allowed to talk about it, but he likes when I do. I don't.

[C]

I know.

[A]

I don't know what you're.

[F]

Protect the license.

[A]

You can't lose a license for that. Just protect your job. And they get the McFeely's morning sickness all lined up and ready to go. What do I care? It's time now for your Guadalupe squares. We got something really cool in town, and that's the. The NASCAR and IndyCar three races this weekend. Two tomorrow they're running the 250, I think, and then the. Then the IndyCars run. Or maybe it's the other way around. And then on Sunday they do the 500. The raceway is going to be jammed with fun this weekend and I think that's awesome. We became the race capital of the world for just a little bit. Pretty neat. That's a five turn track out there. So those Indy cars are going to be down to nothing and then gas in the hell. You watch an Indy car go from 0 to 200 on that straightaway, they're probably gonna be running. But y', all, it's so cool. That's neat. So we're gonna give you tickets to that this weekend. Yeah. Oh, what do you got?

[F]

Nhra.

[C]

Oh, yeah, that too.

[A]

We got that. That's in a month. I was kind of wondering where you were going. I thought you said nascar. No, no.

[D]

Nhra.

[A]

Either way, we got a lot of

[F]

in the red section.

[A]

See, there's so much red section, so much racing going on. That is still a cool event this week. I was blown away that they did that. Three races in two days. That's hard to pull off. Pretty neat. We have no tickets for that though. You got to go buy those yourself.

[B]

Sounds like a cool event.

[A]

Kind of rubbing your nose in it there for a second. And then I remind you that in a month or two you can go watch CTS a race. Cts. All right, let's get right to it. Thriller's not here, so. But listen anyway, here's the backup host, Mr. Toledo.

[C]

I bet you were going to have

[A]

Larry do it for a second. You do it fine.

[B]

Thank you, Johnny.

[E]

In the upper left corner we have Sam the Metallica fan by request.

[A]

Can't wait, man. I can't wait. I can't wait for Spears. Yeah. Are you going up, Sam? No, because I don't have money. Oh, you don't need money, but maybe you could win tickets. No, I can't win too. Why not? Because it's just. There's no chance. Oh, no hope, Sam. No. Hey, Sam. Think of a metallic song to get you motivated. Well, what I know is going to happen because I know it's just going to look so great in there. It's going to be all dark and everything's going to be looking cool and that video screen is going to come up and they're gonna do. Yeah. Every time we do this, we forget the came. Can't wait, man. Sam the Metallica fan be so cool. And that's what you want. That's what you want to start it. What song are you looking forward to most, Sam? That's a new one.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do.

[A]

Watch him do this all the time. Watch him do this. My mother was a witch. She was born. That's a. Sam, I want to sit next to you at the show. If I get tickets, just Sam, yeah. I don't want Metallica at the Sphere. I want Sam at the Sphere. I would do that. Sam. Sphere. I like it. They have big graphics of me in the background. Yeah. Oh, you're like that pan flute. Sam. Sphere. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's good. That's good, Master. Well done. Thank you, Sam.

[E]

In the upper middle square, it is the late now Lou Holt.

[C]

That's exactly right.

[A]

How are you guys? Good to see you. Now that all the. All the pain has left my body from the horrors of dying over the last nine or 10 months, laying there in that hospice bed was no fun. So I spoke to Jesus Christ on a regular basis, reminded him that I was the coach at Notre Dame University for a long time and did his bidding. And then he reminded me that there was an occasion. The bidding, Brady. The bidding. There was occasions that I drifted from the morals of Notre Dame. Well, when I went out and illegally recruited that horrible terrorist, Ragheeb Ishmael. And I made that more of a priority than the Lord Jesus. When I brought one of those rag people over to Notre Dame. And accurate. Yes. And then we won a championship. And I said, some of these muzzies aren't so bad. And then I said to Jesus, you should accept him into the Notre Dame program. And he said, well, that's something you're gonna have to deal with someday. And that someday is nigh. I am now headed to hell in the portal, because that's right, it's nigh. It's nigh. And I got Sam the Metallica fan laugh. That's right. I had. It's a deus nigh. It's an old saying we used to do biblically and stuff. And I now regret that recruitment of that brown terrorist rag heavish male before, because Jesus said, you're going to hell for being friends with them. Just like the Bible warns. But still. Anyway, it was a good run, except for the years I coached the Jets. What a catastrophe that was. But that's bad for everybody.

[E]

Thanks for coming in, coach. In the upper right score, it's our fearless leader.

[C]

That's exactly right.

[A]

Donald Trump.

[C]

That's exactly right. I just wanted to hear the words come out of your mouth like a

[A]

voting you've never struggle with because you know when you go home, your wife probably won't even let you cuck tonight. You have to face away.

[E]

She didn't hear. I'll have to lie to her.

[A]

Well, I'll call her.

[C]

I'll let her know because I've got everybody's number.

[A]

Did you hear Larry? We're now patrolling the Gulf with the coast guard on jet skis. It's the coolest thing in the world.

[B]

Awesome.

[A]

And by the way, bam bambom bomb, bomb. Iran is going very well.

[C]

It's going very well.

[A]

We're killing a lot of Iranians, Brett, like you said. Please do that, Mr. President.

[C]

I remember I talked to talk to

[A]

Brett when I was running.

[C]

I said, what would you like?

[A]

And Brett said, well, the only good

[C]

Iranian is a dead Iranian. And I said, there you go, Brett. You're gonna get your wish and we're

[A]

giving them to you. Did you say bom bom bom, like bom bom bom. God, Sam the Metallica fan. I've got popcorn stuff in my throat. This might end early.

[B]

You're the colonel.

[A]

It's a colonel. I got a colonel. That's exactly your boy. He is. He is certainly gonna have fun with Kirby this weekend with all of his puns. He's coming in hot just like we did in Tehran.

[F]

Can we bomb Gilbert too, please?

[A]

I'd like to bomb Gilbert. And the dad jokes would see ceased to be. Ceased to be.

[C]

That's exactly it.

[A]

But we're gonna release the eagles tonight. Wow.

[E]

Sir, that's awesome. Look what you've done.

[A]

What we've done. We've.

[E]

It's coast guard.

[A]

I told you I'd make the Coast Guard cool again. They're gonna get hats. They're on jet skis.

[B]

Those are the coasties.

[A]

And now we go out after we blow up a drug ship and they think that, oh, here comes food.

[C]

Maybe a Mountain Dew commercial is breaking out.

[A]

And now they find out that it's the coast guard.

[C]

And we take them out right there with our little.

[A]

It's amazing they're well armed skin, which

[C]

is the one thing I've always said was missing for mosquitoes. Military apparatus.

[A]

Good stuff.

[E]

In the middle left square. Not sure why he's here, but it's Howard Stern, radio legend.

[A]

Look, like I was saying, like, look, there's Larry the Metallica fan. Sam. He plays Sam. It's a very good character. But Red Robin, yum. Red Robin. I mean, think of what's going on here at cupd. Let's talk about that for a second, kid. WPDE used to be an FM radio station, remember? And then. And then idiots, not even full sized men came in and started to destroy it. And then blame everyone else, didn't they? Brett Baba Bastard. Tell me about that. And then we got serious and they ruined that. And now it's time for the podcast to begin. So listen to the Homebrew Morning sickness podcast and you'll have me, Timu Stern, along with Red Robin.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Gretel Juice and Bubba Basti. Awesome. I'm ready to go. Tonight we're gonna have Sam the Metallica fan doing live performances. Oh, that's gonna be amazing. And then. And then we're gonna get him naked and sit him on the Sibian.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Sorry, Sam. What would it sound like if Sam and Metallica fan. I'm gonna fire it up. I want you to do me a favor. Do me a favor and sit on the Sybian. Fair. Do Metallica on the sim fair. Make it do that. A little sad but true on the Siby and I'm going to fire it up. Here we go. Sad but true. Sand them in.

[C]

Here we go.

[A]

Live on the te. I can watch you orgasm to Metallica. Red Robin. Is there anything sexier than what we just watched? Yeah, I don't think so. Brittle Juice. Do you? Do you? You enjoy that? Yeah. Yeah. Bre Juice. What's the number between three and five? Give them time, Bretel Juice will figure it out. Bubba Bastard. Don't help put your hands on foe. That's exactly right. Fo is right. The answer is foe. Like a Vietnamese restaurant. Yes, fo, yes. It's soup. The answer between 1, 2, 3, soup. Five. That's exact. You know what? Maybe the show is better this way. I think this is actually pretty good

[E]

program in the middle square. He was in earlier this morning. He loves goat meat. It is Iranian. Brady.

[A]

I like it.

[C]

I like what's going switch sides.

[E]

What's Brady?

[C]

Well, I saw on the online there that the Iranians love a good BBQ'd goat.

[B]

You have to follow the Allah.

[C]

How bad can these people be? So I like to dream, you know.

[A]

What's this one? Oh yeah.

[C]

Quick, quick boom. That's my idea. Rainey and Brady song. Hey, yeah. Quick, quick boom. Yeah.

[A]

Ooh.

[C]

On Saturdays when moolahs play. Getting a gulp of my green smoker today. See what I did? That's exactly right. Awesome stuff. Anyway, come to my new Iranian restaurant. It used to be Porkopolis and now it's just. It's Godopolis. It's on Alma School in the. Look for the signs that say Porkopolis. Go inside and talk to the guys making those weird boxes with bolts and hammers. They'll make you a nice goat sandwich. And that's not exaggerated.

[E]

Why do their boxes say munitions?

[C]

Well, because that's how you make goat.

[A]

Oh, it is?

[C]

A good goat has to be blown up.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

All right.

[E]

In the middle, left square. He's in because we got some local trouble. Charles Barkley is here.

[A]

That's crazy. I watched. Do you know how much. Hey, guys, what's going on? Charles Barkley here. Hey. I drank and drove all over the city. All the way through the 90s.

[E]

Legendary.

[A]

All the time drinking and driving. I got one DUI, and that was only because I was chasing a girl too fast. Who was one of the top five blowjobs of all time. Who was in the car with me?

[B]

Bert?

[A]

Urkel.

[D]

Urkel.

[A]

Urkel. Urkel. And I and some bear claws were trying to get a girl in a car. Cause the last time I seen her, she gave me the best blowjob I ever had. What was her name? Brady.

[B]

Top five.

[A]

I know it wasn't my wife. Maureen. That's what I was wondering. They got that one. I got in trouble for that. I didn't know if I got a dui. I think I just got arrested for solicitation. This Dillon Brooks. Been here for six months. Already got himself a Dewey.

[E]

What's your advice for him?

[A]

Well, he gotta call the general and get better insurance. I'll get checked number. That's crazy. Drive around this city to get a dui. People love you. You're a phoenix, son.

[E]

A phoenix what?

[A]

A phoenix, son.

[E]

All right.

[A]

Get out there. Get it right. Please. For God's sakes. Tooling around like you own the place. You've been here for four months. You got a broken arm.

[E]

It wasn't Scottsdale. You can't understand, right?

[A]

Yeah. You can't drive around with a broken arm. They know you're not going to play the rest of the regular season. This team's a trouble. You're just basically a drunk black guy driving around Scottsdale. You're gonna get in trouble. Why didn't you call me in the bottom left square.

[E]

It's Brady's secret square. Give us a hint.

[B]

Hello. Hello. I'm a rock star. I had one big song in 1979. Here in my car. I'm as safe as it all.

[A]

No.

[B]

I can lock all my Doors.

[A]

That's part of it.

[B]

Safest place to be.

[A]

The safest place to be.

[E]

Did he get about six out of every ten?

[F]

I think so. Well, it's like the prettier part.

[B]

I can lock all my doors.

[A]

I don't think Brady heard the real version. In Driver's Ed they had a parody because his was all about being safe in a car. It was the Weird Al Yankovic. That's exactly it. I can lock my doors and stay safe.

[E]

All right, in the middle left square or in the middle bottom square. I wasn't given anybody, so I'm gonna put in Alex Jones, who was here.

[A]

That's probably good. I don't like my name being on the squares anyway. It leaves a trail. Why?

[C]

Like a chemtrail. It leaves it. It leaves it back.

[E]

It's been redacted, sir.

[A]

Well, I'm not gonna live. I don't want my names up there. Just call me Mr. X. Okay, I'm Mr. X in the bottom middle square. Nobody knows who I am, Brady. They would never guess that I'm Alex Jones.

[C]

And they would never do the research because people just aren't awake enough.

[B]

Is everything gonna be okay? Are we. Are we done?

[C]

No, we're done.

[A]

Done.

[C]

It's over. No, the moolahs are coming.

[A]

They said they killed the moolahs.

[C]

They did not kill the moolahs.

[A]

The moolahs are on their way over. Mullahs. I call them moolahs because they got all that oil money.

[C]

They're going to come over here now. I have on good authority Erica Kirk is pregnant.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

With Dylan Brooks's baby.

[C]

I just found that out last night.

[A]

That's why I was driving around drunk.

[C]

It was a booty call.

[E]

Well, it was Candace Owens earlier.

[A]

Candace Owens.

[C]

We know Candace Owens is Big Mike, too. She's got a dick.

[A]

And there was rumors that if that baby comes out mocha, that it's Leandro Barbosa and Steve Nash is going to leave town again. And we don't want that. I'm telling you right now, Candace Owens impregnated Erica Kirk.

[C]

And then they had Charlie taken out

[A]

because he found out about it and he said, I don't want any transvestite getting my wife pregnant.

[C]

Like most sane men would say,

[B]

he's

[E]

been gone a while.

[A]

That's what's gonna happen.

[C]

Because of the chemtrails.

[A]

Candace impregnated Erica with a gay frog. You'll see. You wanna explain something to me?

[C]

How did the same kid die in 9 11?

[A]

And it's Sandy Hook. I have the evidence. A crude drawing I made myself of what this dead kid would have looked like if it was the same at 911 and at Sandy Hook.

[E]

You're gonna have to write another check.

[C]

I'm not gonna write any checks. Homeberg taught me nobody can force you

[A]

to write checks you don't want to write.

[B]

All right.

[E]

In the bottom right square it is our fearless.

[A]

Thank you, John Jordan, for laughing at that inside joke. That's not as inside as I needed it to be. What trips here? Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm staying quiet like Jones on this one. Oh, you are. Hey, fellas. How's it going?

[E]

What happened?

[A]

Nothing. I just got popped in the face.

[C]

Why?

[A]

Still missing my joke tooth.

[B]

It's amazing.

[A]

I'm with Brett on this one. Hey, Gummo.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

How come dentists don't work the day you ask them? I think I'm going to Brett's dentist. This is just to make Larry uncomfortable. Very Larry.

[F]

He's protecting the license.

[A]

Why are you allowing John to make fun of my tooth issues? Stop making fun of the tooth, John. No.

[D]

Stop it.

[A]

Put your foot. Foot down. Show some authority. I've. I've had a tooth incident, and I need you to back me up on that. You got me all day, man. Larry got him all day.

[E]

What are you taking his teeth?

[A]

I need some cooperation. Stop with the S's, iron's the te. Who do we have?

[F]

Paulie and Natasha.

[A]

Natasha, are you there? I am. Paulie, are you there?

[C]

I am.

[A]

All right, Natasha, you're a girl. Pick a square. Go.

[D]

Let's go with Brady.

[C]

Yeah. Iranian Brady right in the middle.

[B]

Get it right.

[C]

We're gonna. We're gonna smoke some goat this weekend

[A]

over at my house.

[C]

You want to come over and watch the war? I guess not.

[E]

Apparently she can't talk. She's got that.

[C]

Oh, yeah, that's right. A good woman will stay quiet when an Iranian man talks to her. That's good stuff. We're gonna have some goat. We're gonna do some scuds and suds. Gonna have a good time watching the war this weekend.

[E]

That's what you should have named Porkopolis Scuds and suds.

[C]

Well, that's what it's called now. Have you been there? Bunch of Iranian dudes running around making goats.

[E]

All right, Brady, here's your question.

[C]

All right?

[E]

McNuggets come in seven distinct shapes, and the boot is the most popular. Is that true or false?

[C]

That's true. I know that from years of experience of das boot separating My nuggets by shape. Oh, yeah. These all look like Margaret Thatcher. You'll notice my collection.

[E]

So, like, with your grilled cheese, you just ask for boots.

[C]

Yeah, these are my George Foreman looking ones. They're burned. This one looks like Jesus.

[A]

They're burned.

[E]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

The darker ones are the Foreman ones. And then you've got the. The.

[A]

The boot.

[C]

Das boots. And these are skinny and long.

[B]

Don't laugh at that, Natasha.

[C]

These are skinny and long, and these are skinny and short. Ronnie calls those the Brady's. Yeah, the little tiny ones are all right. And then these are the ones that are long and thin like a joint. They're called the Kirbys.

[E]

He said true. Do you agree or disagree?

[D]

I disagree.

[E]

That's right.

[A]

It is false.

[E]

There's just four shapes, and these are

[C]

the weird ones that are isolated from the other nuggets. We call this one Punch the Monkey.

[A]

Paulie, you're up.

[C]

Pick a square.

[A]

Let's go with Howard Stern.

[B]

Howard Stern. That's a great.

[A]

Excellent. Finally, somebody, look.

[B]

Look.

[A]

In other words, you don't want to hear the regular show. All you want to hear is the Stern show. Larry, you should put that on. You should really consider getting rid of the Holmberg show.

[D]

You think?

[A]

Yeah, and then simulcasting in the Stern show. And I think Red Robin, you would agree. Yeah, that's right. Bretel Juice is on. Brett, what is the Number again? Between 3 and 5? Pho. The soup. Yes. And Baba Bastard still seeks his father, and that's coming. Father's Day is very hard for him.

[E]

Do I get to bring that story to the new podcast?

[A]

Yeah, we're going to have Billy Corgan on again today. It's going to be great.

[E]

All right, Howard, here's your question. Prisoners in Brazil can reduce their prison sentences by reading books and then writing a report on it.

[A]

You know, I stopped paying attention to you for a while. You just changed one Jew for another. And you tried it when Larry was on and it went okay. But now I think we need to go. Sam the Metallica fan, let me fire this up again and hear a little unforgiven. Metallica fan riding the sibyum to orgasm while trying to sing Metallica songs.

[E]

How long will he last?

[A]

Howard, if you can make it. Look, Sam, let me. Let me offer you this. Sam, let me try. Look, if you. If you can make it all the way through one with the sibian in your ass, if you can make it all the way through the song, you make it all the way through one. And then you don't orgasm until the very last note. I'll give you tickets to the Sphere. The crescendo, yo. All right, all right, here we go. Let's fire up the Sibian and see if Sam the Material, Metallica fan cannot orgasm until the end of 1-07-31.

[E]

Can we check back in with him?

[A]

Ronnie said Brady would have to have sex three times in seven minutes and 31 seconds before get. All right, then. He didn't make it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. There was an omission.

[E]

Thanks for adding the sound effect.

[A]

Still get the tickets? I forgot the question, but I'm going to say true anyway to move along.

[E]

All right, Paulie, he says true. Do you agree or disagree?

[A]

I agree. That's right.

[E]

It is true. O gets the square.

[A]

Somebody says, how come Red Robin says yum when he's Red Robin? Well, that was the old Red Robin yum. Yeah, and so that's the joke there. Sorry we had to explain that commercial. All right, Natasha, not like we were talking about the. The pepper bar over at Quiznos. Sorry, go ahead. I'm going to take over the show now.

[B]

Secret Square.

[E]

Give her a hit.

[B]

Brady here in my car.

[A]

Car.

[B]

I can lock all the doors.

[A]

He's back on the safest, safest place to be in Cars.

[F]

The remix.

[A]

Safest place to be. It's Gary Newman.

[C]

Of the Cars.

[A]

Not of the Cars, right? Of the songs. The Cars. Yeah, that's right. Nice job.

[E]

All right, Paulie, you can take Trump for the block.

[A]

Yes, of course you're going to take it.

[C]

I'll block it. I block it off.

[A]

Like the Iron Dome. Like the Iron Dome.

[C]

We gave it over Israel. Long lob as many as you want

[A]

at the Jews they'll knock it down.

[C]

They're the dimbe mutumbo of war.

[E]

Nothing got through.

[C]

Nothing gets through Tel Aviv.

[A]

Not here. They just wave a finger over at the Middle Easterners and say, try again. Go put your towels on a wash cycle and come back tomorrow.

[E]

How come the missiles are getting through in Bahrain, then?

[C]

The Bahrain? The Bahrain aren't the Jews, are they?

[A]

The whole point of the joke, I think he missed it.

[C]

Thank God. Sometimes I miss Thriller so much. And no one's ever said that before. No one's ever said that. God, I wish Thriller was here, but I wish he'd. There'd be nothing better right now than if he hobbled in.

[A]

Be like the end of a rom com.

[C]

I'd be so happy to see him rather than you and your liberal cuck ways.

[E]

I've got a question. It's right up your alley.

[A]

I'm just gonna call you Jasmine, if you don't mind. I'll tell you, Jasmine Crockett, because you're an insane lib.

[E]

I thought you meant from Aladdin.

[C]

No, insanely.

[A]

But if you were from Aladdin, I'd have shot you out of the sky.

[B]

Great movie.

[C]

I'd have shot you out of the sky with one of our incredible F17. One of the greatest.

[A]

Probably on the most beautiful planes ever. If I ever saw Aladdin going by

[C]

even with the blue genie, who was funny.

[A]

Robin Williams. Great for big fan. If he was still alive, he'd vote for me and I'd shoot Aladdin out

[C]

of the sky and I'd say, take

[A]

that and your wishes. Right? Right. To Muslim hell.

[C]

I don't know what they call it,

[A]

but it's a thing.

[E]

All right, sir, here's your question.

[C]

Go ahead.

[E]

If all of the available gold in the game Minecraft were real, it would weigh a 100 million million pounds. Is that true or false?

[A]

It would be like mar a lago. £100 million.

[E]

You have that much gold there?

[C]

I keep all the Mar a Lago gold.

[A]

By the way, the 10 o' clock word is snake pit. Thank you for squeezing. Very welcome.

[C]

I saw you getting nervous.

[A]

Larry was scratching. He was scratching an itch.

[C]

Scratching an itch.

[A]

Scratching an itch. I know it's payday.

[C]

So Larry's really excited. He like that. Those people, like love that day.

[A]

All right, one more time.

[E]

If all the available gold in the game Minecraft were real, it would weigh 100 million pounds. Is that true or false?

[C]

Probably weigh at least 100 million pounds. I think so. I think that's probably true. And you know who that remind me of?

[A]

Anyone Bill Clinton would have sex with. They're all about that same weight.

[B]

Maybe Rosie and Rosie o'.

[A]

Donnell. Well, he'd have sex with that big fat ladies. He likes them.

[E]

Natasha, he says true. Do you agree or disagree?

[A]

Agree.

[D]

I agree.

[A]

That's right. It is true. She wins. Nicely done. Hold on. We'll give something to everybody, but it won't be nascar.

[E]

Don't get joked.

[A]

Going to the races this weekend. Snake pit is the ten o' clock word. All one word, right? Yep. People get weirded out by the Howard Stern thing. I think it's great. I like it too.

[F]

I think it's great.

[A]

And I think maybe. Larry, the problem is, is that you recognize how big the guests could be here on kup. But what's the problem? You'll say it out loud. The cheap ownership would never consider paying that kind of money for that kind of talent. They're stuck here with this TEMU version of these poor people trying to do a show just like mine. The poor man Stern, as they call it. And then, you know, and then that little person comes in and starts yelling and you're telling everybody how wrong they were. Meanwhile, AI takes over everything anyway. Bruce Springsteen and Paul McCartney on Later Today. You're gonna love it. Pretty Sam, you want to get on the compression. You want to get not. I don't know if I can handle that. One more time. Let's shove that inside of her. That inside of Red Robin. You have a Metallica song you'd like Sam to do while he's riding on the orgasm machine? Yum is the song. Can you just do the Red Robin? Yum. We got a little in my eye, man. All right, let's go. We're done. This is it. Last day of the contest. This is it. Snake pits. The word for 10 o'.

[B]

Clock.

[A]

Are you going anywhere this weekend? The dentist. All right, we'll see. Gummo's heading to the dentist this pretty soon. His Italian nickname is now Gummo. That's it. We're done. Larry, nice job on this Metallica thing. It's a pretty good. Larry. Larry got this all organized with those folks. And you got a new contest starting Monday. Great one. Another great one. And we're in. You?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is just ridiculous. Happy anniversary. And it's all fake 25th anniversary stuff. We're pretending it's all for us, but it's. It's happening, so we might as well embrace it. Right?

[E]

The Metallica sphere fan, or just regular pre sale is on now. Oh, that's 24 shows in now.

[A]

It's up. And they're going to sell out today into March. Now it is March. No, next March. Oh, they're going October to March.

[E]

24 different weekends. Now it's up to crazy.

[A]

Yep, crazy. And the ticket prices are reasonable.

[E]

What's reasonable?

[A]

Oh, I mean for me. You guys aren't going. I'm not asking for you guys.

[B]

Jeans.

[A]

No, I like. Are they Sam, the Metallica fan can't afford it. No, of course not. Well, he's too busy doing whatever that was. Right. How much are they?

[E]

800 is what I've been hearing.

[A]

Yeah, it's 400 bucks to go see wizard of Oz.

[E]

Well, I paid 400 bucks a ticket the last time Metallica was here in town.

[A]

That's true. We paid top dollar just to see him at that. It's going to be awesome. So you can win your tickets. You don't have to worry about what it costs or anything else. Right there. Snake pits. The word today. Larry's going to have more of those for you. We're done. We'll see. See you guys Monday. I suppose. Right here in the morning sickness. It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually.

[B]

No membership fee.

[C]

I have heard enough of this.