03-07-25 - Katie Hobbs Stops By For Bret - Reactions To Rodger's Pedo Email - Local News Dying On Story Of Elimination Of Penny Affecting Penny Smashers - Story On Shower Habits Shows Few People Wash Feet

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness - Arizona: Episode Summary (03-07-25)

Host: 98 KUPD | Hubbard Radio
Release Date: March 7, 2025
Episode Title: Katie Hobbs Stops By For Bret - Reactions To Rodger's Pedo Email - Local News Dying On Story Of Elimination Of Penny Affecting Penny Smashers - Story On Shower Habits Shows Few People Wash Feet

---

1. Katie Hobbs Joins the Show

Timestamp: [00:55] - [04:18]

In this engaging segment, Governor Katie Hobbs makes a surprise appearance on Holmberg's Morning Sickness. The interaction begins with Brett expressing his frustration over discussing Katie negatively, a sentiment he quickly softens when Katie steps in.

• Brett:
  “...sorry for all the Katie and the Katie Hobbs folks that get upset if I talk bad about her too. I don't know.”

• Katie Hobbs:
  “Hi you guys.”
  “Oh my God, it's raining.”
  “I was outside and there's this poor old dog that's outside and its hair's all wet and it's all matted and it's gross and it smells...”

Katie humorously describes encountering a neglected dog, prompting playful teasing from the hosts about her compassion and public image.

• Katie Hobbs:
  “I'd like to put out a silver alert also for the old lady and Brett's Instagram page...”

The segment showcases a light-hearted dynamic, blending political figures with the show's comedic essence.

2. Reactions to Roger's "Pedo" Email

Timestamp: [04:18] - [07:26]

The conversation takes a sharp turn when Roger refers to Brett with the derogatory term "Pedo," leading to a heated exchange.

• Roger:
  “Pedo.”

• Brett:
  “Yeah, I know. I feel terrible about it. I don't want kids in my life. I hate kids...”

Brett vehemently denies promoting pedophilia, attributing the accusations to disagreements over political opinions, particularly concerning President Trump.

• Brett:
  “I hate kids. I don't want kids around. What makes you think I want a loved one? No, you're all wrong.”

The tension highlights underlying conflicts within the show's dynamics, emphasizing personal disagreements and miscommunications.

3. Local News Spotlight: The Decline of Penny Smashing

Timestamp: [07:26] - [21:00]

Brett dives into a critical discussion about the recent news of the potential elimination of penny production and its ramifications for penny smashers—businesses that rely on smashing pennies for profit.

• Brett:
  “It's gonna cost like two cents, two and a half cents to make a penny. And that seems counterproductive.”
  “Cut down all change. Cut it all out.”

He critiques the inefficiency of continuing penny production, juxtaposing it with the struggles of penny smashers who depend on this practice for their livelihoods.

• Roger:
  “Upgrade your gear and start smashing nickels.”
  “Dimes. I don't know.”

The hosts humorously mock the penny smashing industry, discussing the impracticality of transitioning to other coins and the obsolescence of such businesses.

• Brett:
  “...this is a job that was destined. If you made a living off penny smashing machines, tip of the cap.”

Leah adds to the conversation by questioning the necessity of such niche businesses in the modern economy.

• Leah:
  “A penny comes out. This is it. This is what you get in the end.”

The segment blends satire with genuine commentary on economic changes, illustrating how local news attempts to fill content gaps with trivial stories.

4. Shower Habits Analysis

Timestamp: [21:00] - [26:54]

Transitioning to a lighter topic, the hosts discuss a recent story on shower habits, revealing that a staggering 80% of men reportedly don't wash their feet.

• Brett:
  “80% don't do pits. What? They just... they have the same theory we have about our feet they have about pits...”

• Leah:
  “I do the top.”
  “I don't lift them up.”

The conversation evolves into a humorous critique of personal hygiene practices, with each host sharing their own routines and poking fun at common neglect areas.

• Brett:
  “...jump all over that. Jump all over that. And before we close up this segment here...”

The segment serves as both entertainment and a subtle nudge towards better personal hygiene, wrapped in the show's signature comedic style.

5. Listener's Heartfelt Story: Jake and Scout

Timestamp: [26:54] - [36:10]

A poignant moment arises when listener Jake shares an emotional email about his dog, Scout, who is facing euthanasia due to deteriorating health.

• Jake's Email:
  “Today is her final day before we have to do the thing... She's been my sidekick ever since, over the last eight years...”

The hosts respond with empathy, commending Jake's decision to prevent Scout from suffering and encouraging other listeners to adopt pets in need.

• Brett:
  “That's the most love you can offer. It sounds awful, but the euthanization of a dog... is the most love we can show as people.”

• Roger:
  “Salute, Scout.”

They highlight the importance of responsible pet ownership and the compassionate choice to ensure pets do not endure unnecessary pain, fostering a sense of community and support among listeners.

6. Promotional Content and Advertisements

Timestamp: [36:09] - [40:33]

The show integrates promotional segments seamlessly into the conversation, maintaining engagement while advertising local businesses.

• Roger:
  “Wake up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop... They have the best wrenches in town.”

• Brett:
  “Staying open. I don't need those kids running around. And you keep the castle going...”

These advertisements, while brief, provide valuable information to listeners about local services and products, aligning with the show's Arizona-centric theme.

7. Closing Remarks and Final Musings

Timestamp: [40:33] - [44:11]

As the episode nears its end, Brett reflects on the ongoing accusations against him, blending frustration with humor.

• Brett:
  “How are those two people getting the same thing out of me? I don't see anything where I'm like, you got to defend that a little bit...”

The hosts continue to navigate personal conflicts and misunderstandings, emphasizing the complexity of their on-air relationships while maintaining their characteristic banter.

8. Final Song: "When the Children Cry" by White Lion

Timestamp: [44:11] - [End]

The episode concludes with the uplifting track "When the Children Cry" by White Lion, leaving listeners with a melodic close to a dynamic and multifaceted discussion.

---

Notable Quotes:

• Brett on Pedophilia Accusations:
  “[...] But I really do like being called a pedophile and a guy who says the president does dumb things.”

• Katie Hobbs on the Neglected Dog:
  “I was outside and there's this poor old dog that's outside and its hair's all wet and it's all matted and it's gross and it smells...”

• Brett on Penny Smashing:
  “This is a job that was destined. If you made a living off penny smashing machines, tip of the cap.”

• Response to Jake's Story:
  “That's the most love you can offer. It sounds awful, but the euthanization of a dog... is the most love we can show as people.”

---

Insights and Conclusions:

This episode of Holmberg's Morning Sickness masterfully blends humor, local news commentary, personal anecdotes, and heartfelt listener stories. The unexpected appearance of Governor Katie Hobbs adds a layer of political satire, while the discussion on penny smashing offers a comedic take on economic changes affecting niche businesses. The heartfelt segment about Jake and his dog Scout provides a sincere counterbalance to the otherwise irreverent tone of the show, showcasing the hosts' ability to navigate a wide range of emotions and topics. Overall, the episode exemplifies the show's commitment to entertain, provoke thought, and engage with its Arizona audience in meaningful ways.

Transcript

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[Brett]

Still streaming Homberg's morning sickness online at 98kupd.com Katie and the Hobbs it's miles to nowhere and sorry for all the Katie and the Katie Hobbs folks that get upset if I talk bad about her too. I don't know.

[Roger]

Pedo.

[Brett]

Yeah, I know. I feel terrible about it. I pedophile and stuff like that. But I because sometimes I'll mention a politician and make fun of them. Can't do that. You try and can't do it. It's not a thing people will accept. And there's, you know, Katie Hobbs. Oh no. I love you and you do. Katie. Say it. I'm in.

[Katie Hobbs]

Hi you guys.

[Leah]

Good morning, Governor.

[Brett]

Hi Katie.

[Katie Hobbs]

Hi Brett and others. Oh my God, it's raining.

[Brett]

It is.

[Katie Hobbs]

My shirt's all wet.

[Leah]

Brett oh, you hair's amaz.

[Roger]

Shouldn't wear white in this weather.

[Katie Hobbs]

My shirt's all wet, Brett. And I just want to come by and say I was outside and public service because I'm governor. I'm like important. Brett and there's this poor old dog that's outside and its hair's all wet and it's all matted and it's gross and it smells and I think it's on its last legs. Oh man, it answers to Messiah. If you guys know where it lives, we should probably get it back to its owner so they can put it's so ugly. I felt so bad. I've never seen anything live so long and still breathe. Do you know who I'm talking about?

[Brett]

Britt?

[Katie Hobbs]

Did you see that dog too?

[Roger]

No, I haven't seen that dog.

[Katie Hobbs]

So great. I saw your Instagram page the other.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's so cute.

[Katie Hobbs]

You're at the Humane Society or something and some weird dog that's front legs are limp and dead has to walk on its hind legs and you put it in jeans and let it be Out. I guess he took it for a walk. Which is really sweet. Cause that's what you do. You take old dying things outside and you're not even embarrassed to be seen with them like the rest of us would be if you could see what I saw.

[Brett]

Jeez.

[Katie Hobbs]

Yeah. Yeah. I would like to put out a silver alert also for the old lady and Brett's Instagram page. Cause evidently I know where she is, but her pride is missing.

[Brett]

Oh.

[Katie Hobbs]

Cause anyone that would pose for a picture with that ha. Doesn't care about themselves anymore.

[Brett]

Whoa.

[Leah]

Turkey's done.

[Katie Hobbs]

I wish you wouldn't look at me. You should look away. I'm gonna sign a governor votorial executive order that says Brady's not allowed to look at me. I'd still Brady before that weird poodle at Bratz whistle. It's true. Anyway, be careful in the rain, everybod. I'm goofing a Toriel. I'm gonna her hops late.

[Brett]

You're still outside?

[Katie Hobbs]

She's looking in the window.

[Brett]

Bye, Brad. Bye.

[Katie Hobbs]

Be careful in the rain. Can't imagine what we look like to see you all wet. Like me.

[Brett]

Oh, wow. Yeah, I'm all wet, Brad.

[Katie Hobbs]

I'm all wet right now.

[Roger]

Oh, look at you.

[Katie Hobbs]

And also, it's raining. Bye. Bye, dad.

[Brett]

Oh, bye, Katie. Bye, Katie. Never said goodbye to me.

[Leah]

You got a goodbye.

[Brett]

What she just said to you?

[Roger]

Yeah, no kidding.

[Brett]

What did you do to her? He's just alive. Wow. Interesting. Hopefully that quells Roger's desire to just focus in on my pedophilia problems. For those who just joining us, a guy accused me of the two worst things ever. And the reason he's going to get his 800 friends to stop listening because he says homework's disgusting. He promotes pedophilia and talks bad about our president. Oh, my God. It's a pretty steep drop off to my second problem. That's a huge cliff he jumps down to get to issue number two. I figure I'm doing all right. And then, of course, Leah complained earlier as well. I got an email from a guide says, I don't know why Leah's complaining about sex dolls. I didn't hear her complain when other devices took women's jobs like dishwashers and sewing machines. It's true. Then another one says, leah, just calm down. These sex dolls are going to start showing up people's houses. Think of the size of the sex doll box your cats are going to have when your partner leaves you. This one says, Roger has over 1500 followers. Boss KUPD has 6000. Apparently pedophiles love those praying mantis videos. Says, I don't like when people start slinging around. That guy hates pedophilia and it's in question that makes my radar go up on the dude saying it. Roger. I think he's also upset they're closing schools now. What's he gonna watch at bus stops this morning?

[Roger]

Oh, man.

[Brett]

This one says Roger knows exactly how many friends he has. When you collect that many stuffed animal trophies from your victims, it's tough to forget. Said I just looked up Roger on Instagram. The club with 800 friends is called National Arizona, man. Boy love. America's NAMBLA, I think is what it is.

[Roger]

Oh, man.

[Brett]

Yeah, that's a thing. That's the real deal. I like when people are. This one says, that angry broad that emailed you this morning, she is alone and angry with the world. Got a ton of time on her hands. But under her bed, I bet she's got a pile of vibrators worn to the nub and a life size poster of Tom Selleck glued to her ceiling. So she's probably in her mid-60s, still rubbing it out.

[Roger]

She got her Adam and Eve BOGO card sitting right there.

[Leah]

That Magnum P.I.

[Brett]

Where'S the Bogo? Would it be Magnum or Blue Bloods where he's.

[Leah]

Where he's laying down? I remember Tom Selleck had a poster in the OG shorts.

[Brett]

Yeah, I bet you do.

[Leah]

Still have it up in my bedroom.

[Brett]

Said, can someone get OJ to visit that whiny bitch? And Roger, I'm not gonna send O.J. their way. Donovan emails and said, john, I emailed in and support of you and you called me a mean word. That's it. At 10:15 this morning. I'm not going to listen to this station for approximately two days. Oh, my God. The boycott has begun.

[Roger]

Now we're down to three.

[Brett]

This is from a woman named Janet. Said, Leah, you're a sad, lonely loser. Can you please tell her to shut the F up? She's not speaking for all women. Real women know how to do it. She's just mad because she can't hang. And to the other guy, pedophilia. John, you hate kids. That guy's dumb too. Love you, Homeburg, Janet. Thank you, Janet. Now go make a sandwich for us. That would be nice. Yeah, that's true. You can't call me a pedophile. I couldn't wait to get my tubes tied up, burned off, so kids were never in my life. I hate kids. I don't want Kids around. What makes you think I want a loved one? No, you're all wrong. I also saw. Look, this is it. This is the last hurrah, hopefully, if all things go well, the last five years of this show. We're four years and eight months, right? Nine months. That's what we got left.

[Leah]

Yeah.

[Brett]

So this is a. Whatever lap, what we've heard. Yeah, that's true. Brady's right. Who knows? This could end next week. Been a bit of foot dragging. I think our company's got dead foot. But you're right if all things are right. But. So, you know, throw pedophile at me all day long. I've heard worse. But I really do like being called a pedophile and a guy who says the president does dumb things. Pick a. Pick a lane, Roger. Pick a lane. I saw a thing last night on the news that might be. I think I just discovered the reason that local news is dying. And it is. Local television news is not doing well at all. And you want it to. I like a lot of people who are in it. Like Troy Hayden's awesome. Mark Curtis seemed like such a nice man. Like, he was such a good dude when I met him. And you know him well and like just a nice, comfortable person. Ian Schwartz. I've gotten to be buddies with him.

[Leah]

He's off with Scott Passmore the other day.

[Brett]

But despite that guy, they all seem pretty good.

[Leah]

He's good golfer, sure.

[Brett]

He's got a lot of time. Other than him, though, you're right. Everybody seems so nice in the business. But the reason it's dying is because it's on six hours a day. They seem to think that local news needs to be on all the time because they got no other programming. So last night I'm watching a poor. And I felt bad for the people at Channel 10. I don't know who they are. I didn't. I didn't recognize the lady. But the story was the government is about to shut down penny production or very possibly Trump's gonna. And I don't want to infuriate Roger. I'm fine with. I'm big fan of the idea no more pennies. So if Trump does that, that's awesome. I like a lot of things Trump's doing. I just think he's a little bit off kilter. They're gonna shut down the penny, right? It costs like two cents, two and a half cents to make a penny. And that seems counterproductive.

[Leah]

And we've been doing it for years.

[Brett]

Doing a long time, haven't Needed them for a long time. I say cut down all change. Cut it all out. And then you'd ask, well, as a pedophile, what are you gonna have the kids dig around in your pockets for, John? I'm like, I know, I'll come up with something new, but no more change. So they're gonna cut that down. They did a story for about who that would affect. And the answer is no one. Because they hyper focused in on people who run novelty penny smashing things. You know those deals you put a.

[Roger]

Penny in, you go to the museum and it makes a.

[Brett]

And it smashes like Magilla Gorilla on the back. Because there hasn't been a modern one of those in forever. So the only thing you're getting is like the great space coaster or President Nixon. Like somebody's on the back of the penny. And so this guy's like, yeah, it's killing my livelihood if they stop making pennies. You chose poorly. This is. This is a job that was destined. If you made a living off the penny smashing machines. Tip of the cap. You might be the most industrious human being ever. Put your mind on something else. If you can make ends meet with penny smashing machines.

[Leah]

You put the penny in, it costs you $9.99, and you get your custom coins.

[Brett]

I mean, that's a brilliant. Exactly. You are.

[Roger]

You.

[Brett]

You need to focus in on, like, space travel, because you're gonna figure it out. You managed to feed a family as a penny smasher that then went on the news and said, well, they're killing my business. This is it. Holmberg's morning sickness. Generations of penny smashing down the drain. There's still gonna be a bunch of pennies. And now they don't. You do whatever you want with them, like cheapskate.

[Roger]

Upgrade your gear and start smashing nickels.

[Brett]

It's harder to smash. Evidently they thought. They point that out in the story.

[Roger]

Oh, you know what?

[Leah]

Yeah, but do they know?

[Brett]

I mean, American ingenuity, so thick. Yeah. This guy could figure it out.

[Leah]

Aren't there so many pennies already in circulation?

[Brett]

That's what I'm saying. Like, we're not.

[Leah]

It's gonna take years.

[Brett]

Let's not throw all the pennies out. Yeah, this guy's gonna be alive. And so. But. But he was wondering, will people still care about smashing some piece of copper?

[Roger]

No, they haven't since the 60s.

[Brett]

Nobody's wanted to do this since. Yeah, forever. This is not an entertainment. No kid. You give a Kid A here, 75 cents. Go over there. Twist that arm three times and see what comes out. And it's like, worse than what went in, it's now a worthless penny. At least before I had one cent.

[Leah]

It's an oval mickey.

[Brett]

Now it's like, you know what else? And here's the other thing. You can put like a quarter on a train track. I used to do it. Yeah. Back east they have train tracks like in the woods. And it was weird. Trains would go by and you run out and find your quarter and it just mushed it to nothing. And you could do that the old fashioned way. Or this guy who's made millions evidently to where he's gone. And he called the news and said, I'll do the story, God damn it, my life's about to fall apart. Well, honey, that's it. Discontinuing the penny. Which means we got to find another way to pay the bills around here. Call the butler down here. We need to talk to the staff.

[Roger]

Hello, Jeeves?

[Brett]

Jeeves, it's Roger. I was listening to that pedophile Trump hater on the air this morning and then he alerted me to the idea that pennies are now gonna be discontinued. It's the one thing Trump did I can't stand because he's taken away my riches. If you've made a living smashing pennies, you know what? You should fly to Stockholm and get yourself a Nobel financial prize in economics. How did that to where it's like, well, it's gonna really hurt us. And then I loved it because the news anchor after the story just goes, it'll be all right. And then they just, they went to it, but it was like a six minute piece on fox last night. I'm like, come on. And they kept showing the. The looped footage of the one dude that just kept. The one like 14 year old boy is like, you want me to do what? Look, I'll give you five bucks if you go over and work that machine. No one's touched for 11 years. Yeah. All right, stuff this in there. A penny comes out. This is it. This is what you get in the end. Yeah, it's like a smoothed out. Why is there a gorilla on it? That's McGilla Gorilla. It's a very old machine.

[Roger]

What do I do with this?

[Brett]

My choice is to make the penny turn into what we got. Richard Nixon, Phyllis Diller, one of the cast of the match game and magilla gorilla. I don't know who any of these people are. Shut up and twist the knob, kid.

[Leah]

Drill a hole in, put it on a necklace, right?

[Brett]

And then you make a necklace out of it, that's an extra dollar. Why would I do this? Shut up. I've made a life out of this. I've got 12 kids. I have a mansion on Camelback Mountain. And they're taking it away. Yeah, they did a thing that's like. You can't smash other coins because nickels are hard to smash. Mucks up the works.

[Roger]

Dimes. I don't know.

[Brett]

I think when we were kids.

[Leah]

Yeah.

[Brett]

They tried to tell you that. My grandpa used to tell me two things all the time. Writing on money can get you thrown in jail. And if you wear the American flag, like, military guys will shoot at you like, anything that you like. If you wear a shirt that's the flag. Oh, he'd lose his mind. It could have a flag on it. But if it was like, some of the. Like, I had a T shirt that was the American flag. Bathing suits that were the. Oh, my God. Oh, my. He hated Was like, somewhere. And it is somewhere in the flag rule. Like, there's a bunch of. Every day, every year on flag day, they put out the rules of the flag. Like, we're not supposed to be flying them today. And everybody is. Credit to whoever that is down there. That third flag pole we see from our window is empty.

[Leah]

And across the street, I think they've maybe run out of money in the budget.

[Brett]

Yeah, it's floating over there. But I remember there used to be the flag had. I remember a video they showed us when we were kids where the flag talked. And they just showed him waving in the wind. Only fly me in fair weather. Like he did, like. And it would tell you the rules of the flag. But it was kind of this depressed, sad.

[Roger]

Some hippie made that.

[Brett]

Yeah. Some season just trippin. And they showed it to us at school. Never ever, if I'm tattered, have me disposed of properly. And then it would tell you how to dispose of the flag. Take it down to a VFW and some old man in a tri tip hat takes it from you and starts to cry. And then he lights it on fire. But you're not supposed to fly it in rain and things like that, I thought.

[Leah]

And we only have one key master, right on the flag.

[Brett]

Nobody knows anything how to do. Yeah. And Fitz is it. Fitz is our key.

[Roger]

I think so. Yeah. It used to be man bun.

[Brett]

We had Drew, but Drew didn't know what he was.

[Roger]

No, we had to tell him.

[Brett]

And Randall knew. Randall would come here and assess the flag the second he got here. But it's yeah, those are the rules. Does it say don't fly it in the bad weather? It used to. I don't know. But yeah, it makes me nervous to think about that stuff.

[Roger]

Don't fly it upside down. Don't let the flag touch the ground.

[Brett]

Oh, that was the other thing the sad flag would talk about a lot. If I touch the ground at all, I have to be disposed of properly.

[Roger]

If you want to display the flag at night, light it properly.

[Brett]

Gotta light it up at night.

[Roger]

Yeah. Ours is actually.

[Brett]

Take it to the vfw. We're a very sad veteran. Will start to cry in his tri tipped hat. The flag has touched the ground.

[Roger]

Don't use his clothing, bedding or drapery.

[Brett]

My grandpa went nuts. Oh, and that was the other thing. I had a blanket that was. That was like the American flag. Oh, get that over here. Supposed to use that as a flag. Damn it. It was mad. Immediately mad. It was crazy how upset he'd get about that. But, yeah, so they used to tell us that the flag will get you thrown in jail. Writing on money will get you thrown in jail. And wrecking pennies. And they'd say, it's illegal. I'm like, nobody's gonna stop.

[Leah]

I used to put pennies and fold them up in mattress tags and put them on the rain train track.

[Brett]

Man, you were basically Hitler and you probably said a few bad things about the President like, Roger hates. But yeah, so I never bought, like, even as a little kid, I'm like, I don't think the police are gonna waste their time coming after the penny smashers. But yeah, penny smashers, they were all. And they're probably still there at Rawhide. They were right next to where they were electrocuting that chicken. For a couple bucks a pop, you could smash a penny. But if there were a couple of, you know, foreign. Like, usually there's a couple of Chinese kids standing there staring at it, mashing pennies and. Whoa. And then you had to wait to electrocute the. So you, you know, you'd electrocute the chicken.

[Roger]

Yeah.

[Brett]

And then. And then, wait. Chicken on a hot plate. That was the idiots. But the dude who runs penny smashing machines. I need to know your name. I want you in charge of my books. Because I was so shocked that his name wasn't Vinnie Boom Bots. I don't know, it seems like a pretty legitimate business to me, smashing pennies all over the nation. And I had taken it away. Am I supposed to launder? How am I supposed to make money for my family? It's crazy. But yeah, it was the. It's. That's why the local news is dying. They had hours to fill. And so in the middle of it.

[Roger]

You call Troy and ask him what's going on.

[Brett]

Well, it wasn't on his station. Credit to Troy. He's left there. These were people I didn't know, and I think Corey McCloskey was there. And then he tries to make jokes.

[Leah]

And it's like, dude, sing or something. Entertain.

[Brett]

Yeah, yeah. You know what? Have Corey do a soft shoe. Yeah, we're out of news ideas and we've got 30 minutes to fill. Instead of that terrible penny story, Cory's gonna do a little soft shoe with his driving Glo. I'm putting on my top hat. Oh, there you go. The weather on that. Because they got an hour to kill. The weather lasts like 14 and a half minutes. And they do like every city. It's 68 in Buckeye, it's 68 in Tolleson, it's 68 in Mesa, 68 in Phoenix, it's 68. Pretty much all encompassing. It's no more swirly clouds. Yeah, this is a serious cloud. These are the ones that get it. Well, you don't have to worry about. Oh, my God. It's a school lesson. So cut it down to a half an hour and show reruns or something. Put Modern Family back on for 30 minutes or give me. Yeah, do something else. You got these penny smashing stories, but again, there's a dude out here who's going to be in line at DES in a couple of days. So what are you. What are you here for, Lamont? I love my job. A while ago. What are you here for? My penny smashing days are over. Oh, man, I read about that. Got to collect my unemployment now to keep my family happy.

[Roger]

Well, guy, you can cut in front of me.

[Brett]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Roger]

Go through a lot.

[Brett]

You're going through much worse than me. But yeah, I didn't get it that he's complaining. There's 150 billion pennies currently out there.

[Leah]

It's going to take a while.

[Brett]

Remember when you were a kid also and somebody convinced you at one point to collect wheat pennies?

[Roger]

Oh, yeah.

[Brett]

You see wheat on the back of them. And I think every kid in America had a Ziploc bag of wheat, 1920s pennies, until you realize these are worth $0.01 still and no one's gonna care unless you find one that's got like a picture of Margaret Hamilton on it instead of. Why is this one unique?

[Leah]

That's a series A.

[Brett]

That's the only one we ever printed with the Wicked Witch on it. It's worth millions. I'd dig through your pennies on that. But Penny smashing guy. You should be okay. You should be just fine. Let's close some more schools. What do you say? Here we go with. Let's go with page nine. I see if your school's on here. Brad. At any given time. J.B. sutton elementary. We're going to let you guys stay home today. Joseph Zito Elementary. Larkspur elementary School just closed. That just came up on my screen. Mitchell elementary Schools closed for the snow day. Nevitt elementary is closed for snow day. Palomino Primary. You're not going to school. Pathogo up right up street here. Papago School closed. Pendergast elementary School closed for everything. Sevilla Primary School is closed. Shaw Butte. We're shutting you down today for snow day. Sunny Slope Elementary. Sunridge elementary. Let's get over. Holy Trinity Academy. That's not because of the rain. Your priest has got to talk to his lawyers this morning. Montessori Educare Academy. Same thing there. Creative Castle Preschool and kindergarten.

[Leah]

Huh?

[Brett]

You're staying open. I don't need those kids running around. And you keep the castle going. They're paradise for tots. Whoa. It's a Christian school. It's on Tatum Holmberg's morning sickness. Paradise for tots closed. The foundation for Blind Children. We're gonna close you up to wander around in the wet weather. And also. I don't know how we're gonna get the message up at the Arizona School for the Deaf. We're closing them. But somebody gotta sign that. I can. There nothing we can do here. So. Closing up schools for these snow days is up north. They're doing it. And these poor little Phoenicians. It's the one. The one thing Phoenician kids don't get. Awesome. Snow days announced on the radio. So I'm helping you out with us. That love it. I also saw a story last night about shower habits. 80% of men don't wash their legs in the shower. 80%.

[Roger]

Guess I'm in the 20.

[Brett]

Do you soap up your legs? I soap up. Down to just a little past the knees. No.

[Roger]

I'm all the way down.

[Brett]

Do you do your feet? That's one thing I don't do absolutely well. My feet are standing in soapy water. I think they pretty much get it.

[Leah]

I do the top.

[Roger]

I just do it. I just do that.

[Leah]

I don't lift them up.

[Brett]

And you know. Which is the gross part the top. Nothing's happening on the top.

[Leah]

Because I figure I'm dancing in the soap water.

[Brett]

Well, yeah. Yeah. And all the stuff's running down there. Eventually just cascades over.

[Roger]

Get between the toes and everything, man.

[Brett]

But, like, 40% don't do pits. What? They just. They just, like, they have the same theory we have about our feet they have about pits eventually. And I don't have this issue, but, like, if you wash your hair, the shampoo rinses off and eventually gets to your pits. And that's what deodorant's for. So they called it the triangle, where a guy washes his face, works down, and washes his chest. But then I started to, like, they didn't get in depth, but the order in which people did it, it's a full body one off the triangle. Guys go beard, chest, balls, butt. And then I don't. You know, that's not.

[Leah]

Jay Moore used to do a funny.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah. Well, it was Ralphie's joke, and Jay took it, but it was the one where he's like, you have the bar of soap, you wash your ass, and then the same bar of soap, you're washing your face a few seconds later. But that's why you got to do it in order.

[Leah]

Yeah.

[Brett]

It's hair or face. Hair, arms, chest, armpits, balls, ass. If you're not a leg washer. I wash my legs. It's not every time. I'm not going to act like I'm sitting in there scrubbing up my thighs all the time. Pretty much my thighs don't stink. But, yeah, you don't wash your. And, you know, unlike Brady, he'll fight us on this. You got to get in that ass, so you can't use that. You should have your own bar of soap for ass as well. And it should also be the. From the bottle, the liquid stuff.

[Roger]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Because that way you're not screwing around with the soap with your hands, putting it in your ass and then going.

[Roger]

Yeah, I'm not breaking out the Irish Spring.

[Brett]

No, no, no. I have mint and cucumber. Fantastic.

[Leah]

I used to scrubber, too.

[Brett]

To reach your ass.

[Leah]

No, the whole body scrubber thing.

[Brett]

Oh, I thought you meant like a stick with a towel.

[Leah]

Sud. Suds up, and you just cover in foam like you're going through a car wash.

[Brett]

I've never been through a car wash myself, so I'm not sure what that feels like. But I get it that you're all subject. You like to be Mr. Bubble still.

[Leah]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Like to have the little Thing on your head and the nose. Okay. You do you just. As long as you guys are doing pits and legs. I didn't know that 80% of men don't wash their hands.

[Leah]

I wouldn't think about, like, skipping that for some reason. I. I had heard that the other day too.

[Brett]

80% don't wash their legs. That's gross.

[Roger]

Especially if you go out, like, mountain biking and stuff. You know, you're sweating swampy.

[Brett]

And it's also that crack where your legs meet your ass that's running. Like, a lot of times you. That's where all the sweat is. If my. When I get off the mountain bike and stuff, my lower thighs soaked. Cause my ass has been draining on it the whole time.

[Leah]

Some creases down there.

[Brett]

You got. Yeah, you got some stuff you should take care of. Now. The one thing that I don't understand. This is Brady's God's fault. Is how come my armpits have to smell so bad, but my knee pits don't? I. Couldn't you have made those the same?

[Leah]

Keep the smell lower or just keep.

[Brett]

No smell. Like, my knees don't stink. I don't have to deodorant my knees like that. Lume, ladies. Her body is just a cesspool, but she's putting it on her knees.

[Leah]

And she loves being on the screen.

[Brett]

And she loves also not showering up. She just loves to. She just loves to rub deodorizer on her parts, especially her midsection. Blech. She's talking about that. And the new commercial is. And she's spraying her tummy. Like, how bad is you? How your body odor is so bad your stomach might stink. Get that pinky to work and shove it in that belly button and peel out all those disgusting crumbs. Wash yourself or shave us for later. She might be eating it. But, yeah, it's a. And there was a lady on there, she was like, I'd never seen my husband shower before. And so her recommendation was, if you're gonna be engaged or married, you should at least have to shower with your husband. Don't have to live together. You piss people off of that. But at least hop in the shower, not for sexy time. And watch someone shower. Like, show me your true shower and habits. The problem is under observation. I think most guys would be like, they know they're not washing their parts. They should be washing. So you'd be extra diligent if you were being observed. Like, if the health inspector's in a restaurant and stuff, they're gonna be A little bit. You're gonna behave differently. But just put a camera in there and watch your husband or wife shower up and then determine whether or not you want to be with them anymore. Because that's gross. The one dude was like, I washed my beard and it gets so sudsy. Then I just watch the suds run down my chest and stuff so I don't really have to do anything else. Oh, oh. And they walk amongst us. It's disgusting. And then he made the joke. He goes MasterCard up front for the creases. MX in the back. Like, all right, that's gross. But kind of funny.

[Roger]

There is. You can buy your penny smashing.

[Brett]

Brett just found one. Well, what for now, Brett? That's $6,000. I'll never get my money back.

[Roger]

Well, here we can go for a.

[Brett]

Cheaper one to do 6 million pennies.

[Roger]

To get that 5,500.

[Brett]

That's 5,500 and that's an old timey one. And there is a website called Penny Machines usa and there's a lot of them for sale there.

[Roger]

We'll go to the contemporary one.

[Brett]

That's the new one. Smashes Obama 4400.

[Leah]

Drop down.

[Brett]

Yeah, dip down a little bit because it's smashing Roseanne Barr and Obama. And like more modern people, that's still not quite up to snuff. Like get one that smashes Dua Lipa or you know, well, you can, I.

[Roger]

Think you can customize your designs here.

[Brett]

But then I gotta call some other guy to do the print.

[Roger]

Well, yeah, well, they'll do it.

[Brett]

It's gonna cost more. Things gonna be. I'm gonna be into this thing. 10 grand before I smash a single penny.

[Roger]

Here's the perks.

[Brett]

The perks of owning it. No electricity needed to operate. Takes up very little space. No staff involvement required. You don't have to hire people to help you out. Smashing pennies. That's for the kids. What's that say?

[Roger]

Unlimited earning potential.

[Brett]

Limited. Insanely limited.

[Roger]

Keep all your profits.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Roger]

No splitting it with a third party.

[Brett]

Two year warranty in case the penny smashing machine goes sideways, starts mashing up all the stuff in the house. It's reliable, trouble free and low maintenance. Then what's it need the two year warranty for? Make money while advertising your business. Oh, smash pennies and make them like business cards. That website should start with. It should have a thing that says about US history machines for sale. And then please don't do this as a link. Just. This is a terrible idea. Don't buy one of these we should.

[Leah]

Get get that for our March Madness when we go out to Four Peaks.

[Brett]

Yeah. People smash with KUPD logos on the back so they can throw those away on the way home.

[Roger]

That's a great idea.

[Brett]

Is it spent 75 cents to have a penny with KUPD's logo in it?

[Roger]

Worth it.

[Brett]

Just throw that out.

[Roger]

We've had some other gemchotchkes around here.

[Brett]

So it wouldn't surprise me if a radio executive.

[Katie Hobbs]

You know, we should get is a.

[Brett]

Bunch of penny machines and put our logo on them. That's a great idea, Greg. Seriously. And we make necklaces of necklaces for everybody. Yeah, that's stunning. That's a smasher there. We should do that. Banger. You need a raise. Banger of an idea. How come no one's wearing our penny necklaces? Oh, because you're a idiot for thinking of it. I think everybody in the meeting thought it was a good idea. That's why you all have resumes that look like phone books. You get fired left and right with these ideas. I don't know. Some of the consultants thought it was pretty good stuff. Uh huh. Uh huh. Same guys gave two thumbs up to ChatGPT radio. Yeah, you're right.

[Leah]

And the crystal goes to.

[Katie Hobbs]

I won a crystal award for it.

[Brett]

We donated all our smash pennies to orphans. Oh, that. I'm sure they loved that unspendable mush money. I don't know why nobody listens to us. Terrible idea. But that's something, Brady. You're absolutely right. I'm surprised our promotions department doesn't have to haul some giant penny smashing machine from Brett's Eos events all the way over to Four Peaks. Guys want to smash some pennies? You know how heavy that goddamn thing is? I gotta load up all those pennies every time. 75 cents. Get yourself a penny necklace. Capty on the back of it. Why aren't you in black and white, Sir? I am sort of sepia toned. I am from another time. Let's get the kids to climb inside of it. It's like a time machine. Penny smashers. Anyway, hopefully you're all going to shower up today because, I mean, essentially what you're saying is standing in the rain is the same as taking a shower if you don't wash your legs. And I know again though, I. I don't scrub my.

[Leah]

My back.

[Brett]

Huh.

[Leah]

Like, I don't take a scrubber to my back.

[Brett]

I don't think that's something.

[Leah]

I mean, but the suds run down, you know, the back. I will do the back of my head. And then I take. And I squeeze the soap so it runs down the back.

[Brett]

You squeeze. Oh, the bottle. So you just have, like, a line.

[Leah]

Parts that I can't really reach.

[Roger]

You got that big scrubber. You should be able to reach.

[Leah]

No, it's not. It's not enough.

[Roger]

Okay.

[Brett]

Oh, you just have, like, a loofah that you. Yeah, okay. I have a scrub brush. I'll knock the back out now and again. Not every time, I'll admit to that. Feet negligent, but they're pretty damn clean. Like when I'm standing in the shower and I don't have, like, I've got good drainage, too, so it's not like I'm standing in a puddle.

[Roger]

I scrub my feet because I can't stand. Circle K feet. So I'm not good feet.

[Brett]

Holmberg's morning sickness I did for a little while where I used to wear flip flops a lot. Get that black line on the back.

[Roger]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Circle K feet. And that was tough. And then I took one of those sandpaper deals that. That's like a cheese grater. They do it at. What do they call the pedophile places where they do that.

[Leah]

Yeah.

[Roger]

So bring that up again.

[Brett]

I can't help it. Pedicures and stuff. And then they get that Asian person holds your foot like you're shoeing a horse and starts to scrub it. Scrub that off the back of your foot. It's that dry flakes all over the place. You give that slave 10 bucks to do that to your foot that you could do at home, but you don't. But you like slaves. It's gross. Oh, that's disgusting. But, yeah, so my feet are. I moisturize. I put moisturizer on my feet, which I think keeps them pink and nice. My feet are pretty clean, but I will admit to that. But the shower at 80%. Guys, come on. 80% of you're not washing your legs in the shower. Let's get on there immediately. Jump all over that. And before we close up this segment here, I have to say to our friend Jacob, emailed Nancy. Good morning, boys. The end of this week is bittersweet. I get to hear my favorite part of the day when I listen to your show, but it's going to be the hardest today. And then he sent a picture over of this American English coonhound. Shut up. I'd like to meet. I'd like you to meet Scout, my elderly American English coonhound. Today is her final day before we have to do the thing all pet parents hate and put down my best friend. Her spinal cord is deteriorating and it's going to get bad. It could snap at any moment and she would be paralyzed. I won't let that happen. Today is the sendoff party, so we'll be listening to the whole show like always. And then when we're done at home in the morning, we will do the deed. I adopted her my sophomore year of college in Bloomington, Indiana, from a local shelter, and she's been my sidekick ever since, over the last eight years, getting me through the roughest times of my life. So if you've got one out there, cupd audience, crack a home bird bound in honor. If you've still got one or anything you want to crack open to celebrate my awesome dog, Scout, for one last party. Everyone deserves to know about this amazing, beautiful, good girl. Signed, Jake. There you go. Well, we'll tip him back for you, Jake.

[Roger]

Salute, Scout.

[Brett]

Salute to Scout, everybody. And give your. Give your dogs a little cookie extra for Scout. I always email back to somebody who does that and I tell them you're, you know, not allowing your pet to have a bad day is the most love you can offer. Anything you care about it is the most. It sounds awful, but the euthanization of a dog that's not got good days left is the most love we can show as people, Period. End of story. It's like unbelievably unselfish to say, I would rather you not suffer and have my heartache be all that's left. Then watch you deteriorate until you're in pain. And you know, because they'll stay, the animals will stick around for you. It's your job to make sure that they're not doing that in pain or agony. So nice job, Jake. Good work, kid. I like that. Salute, Scout. That's something we should do. Smash Scout into pennies today. The word Scout. Wear that necklace around for a little while. But if we did that for every dog that gets euthanized, my God, our heads would fall off. We'd look like Mr. T with pennies. But to Scout and that, you know. And then it leads me right to the pick of the litter. You can go to 98kupd.com once. I lost her home yesterday. We're redoing Rhea, the beautiful shepherd mix who has the. The most amazing coloring I've ever seen. She's available right now out of her foster home and back in the shelter, and she doesn't like the shelter at all. She's super sweet Great dog. So let's get Leah into a home asap. Asap. And of course, Cypress is still available, and Cypress is running on two years there. Cyprus is still no clue why Cyprus has not gone home with anyone. And two years in the shelter, and poor sweet Cyprus just wants somebody to get him go. They're talking to the people at pit bulls and parolees. They're trying to get her involved in this. Cypress is such a sweet animal that we can't figure it out. He's got energy. We know that. But, you know, if you've got a little patience and some time to take a dog that's been a shelter for a while, I'm not sure. I don't think Cypress or Rhea, I don't think either of them are real great with other dogs. Some dogs are just alone dogs. They like being by themselves. Rhea is more selective. Like some she likes, some she doesn't. You just. Most dogs are like that. But Cypress is just a sweetheart. So they've got some stuff that lost their home. So head on over there. Maybe in honor of Jake and Scout, we get over there and rescue one of these animals that needs a home and give another one a chance. I think it's a beautiful thing. Maybe Jake can do it and give another animal just what he gave Scout all these last eight years. Get another one. The ultimate tribute to your dog is to make sure you give a. A dog that needs a home the same one you gave to a dog like Scout. So it's a good thing. Brett, what do you got on the big board of musical treats?

[Roger]

All right, Wake up Song brought to you by Action Ride Shop. And we talk about the store over there in Gilbert Road and Southern. They are dialed in for the snow, and they are getting pounded up north right now. So now's the time to get in there, get all your gear to get up north, and, well, while it's raining and can't really hit the trails today, you can head on over to store number two on Power Road and McDowell and get that bike all tuned up and ready to go because they have the best wrenches in town. It is Action ride shop. Actionride shop.com. first song on the list here for you is when the children cry from White lion for you.

[Brett]

I don't know anything about me because Roger hates me for the thinks I'm a pedophile. I still need to know. Roger, come on. I know you're listening to see if I read your horribly mean email. Tell me about the pedophile thing. I don't feel like I'm on that page at all. Maybe a joke or two that you, you know, you'll laugh at, but I don't know. I joke about a lot of stuff. Doesn't make me that guy. I don't think I've made a whole bunch of pedophile jokes that would lead you to believe this guy's into it. I have made Trump jokes that would make you think, I think I should tell him not to do that anymore. Anyway, same thing as that. I forgot his name. The dude in Gilbert that got all upset at me, that started the poor man Stern and was such an alcoholic he had to. I'm part of his apology list a.

[Roger]

Year later and then don't get it for Leah. James Brown. It's a man's world.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Roger]

Mastodon, gnr, the cult, Metallica, Pantera, Zeppelin. It all comes up. Alison chains. It all comes up for rain songs.

[Brett]

Yeah. Well, we got a rainy day.

[Roger]

Thunder, November, Rain, rain.

[Brett]

Rain. When I die is pretty awesome. Let's do that. All right. I don't even know how to turn my liberal Jew cuck or no big nose Jew liberal, Biden loving cuck piece of s. Howard Stern character into what Roger thinks I am, which is just a pedophilia promoter who hates Trump. I mean, I don't know how you're getting the same thing. How are those two people getting the same thing out of me? I don't know. Look, I used to be a cuck liberal. Now I just. Now I hate. Look, I hate Trump and I love kids. I love them. Oh, my God. Robin, do you have any kids you could bring back? Go over to the bus stop on this rainy day and let's get these little wet angels into the. Into the studio. God, I hate Trump and I love pedophilia. 2. Two things Roger hates about me. One, pedophile B hates Trump. He can't decide which is worse. So include them both in the email. Absolutely. Am I wrong? Pretty. Where's Baa Baa Bastard? He doesn't have any. He's got a kid, doesn't he? Can we bring that kid up? Hey, let your little deadbeat kid. How old is he? Over 18. That's gross. Have him live with me for a little while. Does he still know some of the sophomores at school? I'm a poor man's Howard Stern, according to Roger and that other drunk pedophile, Andy hates Trump. I just don't get how he went down that second road. Anyway, thanks, Roger. Great email this morning.

[Roger]

We show a White lion later for you.

[Brett]

Yeah, well, that'll be our sign off.

[Roger]

When the children cry.

[Brett]

Everybody kind of go, hey, Holmberg might have lost his mind. He's talking about kids. Yeah, and what about me makes you think I like kids too much? My guy just wants to be around kids all the time. What about me promotes that? If anything, we promote Dr. Lin all the time talking about is getting rid of him. I had to argue with the doctor that I wouldn't change my mind. Oh, you're pretty young. You might have changed mine. Not gonna do it, Mike. No. You cut these things. Cut the whole sack off. I don't care if these. These are. This is where the babies are made. Get rid of that thing. You don't love kids. Oppo. Oppo.

[Leah]

Coming in at number five, Billy Thorpe with Children of the Sun.

[Brett]

I love that song. You know what I like? I like to light candles and have kids come over, do the homework with that playing in the background. And I just get high and watch them. Nothing about me has ever been like, what I need more in my life is children. Lots of them hanging around. No, I don't promote that at all. I'm all about killing people who do that. I think that's. I don't. There's no redemption to society. I don't know. I'm a red blooded American male, so when TMZ puts up Madison beer, I don't know how old she is. I know she's of age. They wouldn't be allowed to do it, but that's, you know, same thing they've been doing at Sports Illustrated and models and porn and everything else. Roger, he said, I think he mistook he got the wrong radio host. John Holmberg and John Jay are different. Maybe. I don't know. I don't listen to him. Is he a big kids fan? I'm the opposite. Let's just be clear about that. You can knock me around for your 1B dislike of me, which is occasionally I'll say bad things about Trump. But that pedophile thing, I. Pretty, pretty.

[Leah]

That one will get you.

[Brett]

I'm pretty stout against that. Trying to think of, like, one angle. I'm trying to find the one angle. Be like, well, they do get a bad rap there. I don't see anything where I'm like, you got to defend that a little bit, huh? Maybe. Ah, I wonder. I figured it out. Roger got. He's one of the kids in school that he probably knew one of his guy friends with a hot teacher. And we do promote that. All right. Maybe we do promote when a hot teacher has sex with a teenage boy and we think that's like high five central because some people do get like reversed around. Reversed around. It's horrible.

[Leah]

Yep.

[Brett]

But we do say, look, he's 17, she's 33, he's king of the world. Okay, maybe he's, maybe he's got a little bitter pill there that the teacher didn't like him so he automatically hates, you know, or maybe the teacher did like him and it was a, it's a, it's still a trigger for him to think of the teacher that had sex with him. Anyway, he's a little white lion for the kids this morning. When the children cry. There's nothing worse than a crying child because those are the ones that tattle when a kid's crying. They're just seconds away from telling the authorities. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station, he said, fully erected.