03-09-26 - BR - MON - Japanese Scientists Develop Onion That Won't Make You Cry - Former Prisoner Bangs Other Prisoner In PortaJohn On Work Duty At BBQ Fest - Man In Malaysia Has 40 Teeth

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – 03-09-26

Episode Theme:
A classic, off-the-cuff morning show blending local Arizona flavor, irreverent humor, and bizarre real-life news stories. In this episode, Holmberg and crew riff on the latest headlines: a tear-free onion by Japanese scientists, a porta-potty prison rendezvous at a BBQ festival, and a Malaysian man with a mouthful of teeth—plus the usual banter, fun facts, and gross-out moments.

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1. Main Stories and Segment Highlights

Japanese Scientists Develop Tear-Free Onion — The “Smile Ball”

Timestamps: 09:43–11:03, 12:48–13:29, 33:15–33:39

• Scientists in Japan have developed an onion called the “smile ball,” designed not to cause tears when chopped.
• The hosts marvel at Japanese innovation, humorously crediting the atomic bombings for postwar ingenuity:
  • Quote (John Holmberg, 10:04):
    “It might be time we dropped a nuke on ourselves because it makes you pretty damn ingenious…I bet you they can reinvent an entire planet…Now they're doing onions that tear free.”
• They riff on U.S. vs. Japanese innovation and the likely U.S. brand name (“Goldies”), joking about never “dropping sunshine” on anyone again.
  • Quote (John, 33:31):
    "We are on it. Don't piss off. Round eye roulette bombadas make sunshine twice."

Prisoner-Porta-Potty BBQ Tryst

Timestamps: 13:40–19:27

• A Florida inmate snuck off work duty to have sex in a porta-potty with a former female prisoner at a BBQ festival. Security caught everything on camera.
  • Quote (John, 17:12):
    "When I pee in a portage on, I don't look down.”
• Panel is both bemused and disgusted, questioning the life decisions involved:
  • Brady (16:36): “Just bend me over this toilet.”
  • John (18:41): “If you've had sex in a Porta John, you're so. You're like human aids. Like, that's just gross. You're just gross as a dude. It's different as a woman...You can't come out of that one up your game.”
• General consensus: zero dignity in porta-potty hookups.

Malaysian Man with 42 Teeth

Timestamps: 20:36–22:22

• A man in Malaysia enters the Guinness World Records for having 42 teeth, 10 more than usual.
  • Quote (Brett, 21:27): “How do you have a mouth that big?”
• Hosts count their own teeth live, getting sidetracked by dental math and banter.
• John (22:04): “What? I'm gonna stop doing this. I'll do it on my own later.”

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2. Additional Fun Facts and Oddities

Weirdest Unclaimed Airport Items

Timestamps: 06:54–09:10

• Diamond grills, meteorites, samurai swords, gold-plated golf clubs (worth up to $60,000), diamond earrings ($43k), and a $35k Rolex among lost treasures.
• John (09:01): “Those are mine...I forgot those.”

National Days & Quick Facts

Timestamps: 05:12–06:52

• Celebrating National Barbie Day, Get Over It Day, and Meatball Day.
• Fun fact: Miami is only major US city founded by a woman (Julia Tuttle).
• (Light humor about US immigration stats, and Miami’s citrusy roots.)

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3. Brady Videos and Show & Tell Gross-Outs

Timestamps: 24:44–32:29

• Watching bizarre/brutal viral videos, often with a comedic or shock-value twist.
  • A dental extraction gone wrong (possibly an insect or “kale” in a molar).
  • A severely deformed person “dancing.”
  • Graphic content: female circumcision images and speculation on origin (India, “the Stans,” etc).
  • Asian teen uses a dead duck as a bong (John, 29:11: "He's made a bong out of a dead duck...That will happen at Brady's house when Kirby finds the roasted duck.")
  • Elderly woman at a party deep-throating a large sex toy.
  • Man slides on road, suffers massive “watermelon” colored road rash on his rear.
  • Explicit “waterboard fetish” scene with naked woman in a cage.
  • Holmberg: “It's not often I'm speechless, but…”

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4. Memorable Quotes & Banter

• Japan Innovation/Atomic Bomb Running Gag:
  • “Since we threw sunshine on them is unbelievable. They weren't doing this…now they're doing onions that tear free onions…” (John, 10:04)
  • “Don’t drop sunshine on us ever again.” (33:20)
• Porta-potty love:
  • “The smell of the Porta John was probably better than that thing.” (John, 17:33)
  • “If you got pregnant in a Porta John, hang yourself with the umbilical cord.” (John, 19:28)
• Dental banter:
  • “Can a man touch his own teeth without you getting a hard on?” (John, 22:12)

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5. Notable Timestamps

• 09:43–11:03: Tear-free onion (“Smile Ball”) story
• 13:40–19:27: Porta-potty prisoner love story
• 20:36–22:22: Malaysian man with 42 teeth discussion
• 24:44–32:29: Bizarre Brady videos (AI proposal, molar insect, deformed dancer, duck bong, old woman sex toy, motorbike crash, waterboard fetish)

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6. Episode Tone and Style

• Fast, relentless riffing: The hosts bounce from odd news to dark commentary to gross-out gags effortlessly.
• Irreverent and shock-friendly: Expect jabs at world events, “after dark” humor, and open mockery.
• Local flavor: Arizona news, BBQ festivals, and local sponsor shout-outs.
• Chemistry: Banter feels natural, with recurring in-jokes and playful ribbing.

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Summary:
This episode epitomizes Holmberg's no-filter approach to morning radio: weird headlines, sharp wit, and playful disgust. Whether you’re curious about the science of onions, human oddities, or the questionable romances forged in festival porta-johns, you’ll get plenty of cringe and laughs—plus several moments that’ll leave you speechless or rolling your eyes. Just don’t listen while eating!

Transcript

[Radio Host]

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[John Holberg]

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[Podcast Announcer]

Still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at

[John Holberg]

98kupd.com for all you people listening live to the podcast taping that's going on from 5:45 till 10 or so, you now have a chance to tap that track. When corn is on, when System of the Downs on Marilyn Manson, Anyone playing the Sick new World Festival April 25th in Las Vegas, Nevada, you can tap that track. Five of you are going to get tickets to the Sick New World Festival. One of you is going to get the VIP package tickets to the show. You get a hotel, give you some gas money, 200 bucks up there, keep this thing alive. Every single time on the app or on the website, a song will pop up. It'll prompt you to say, click here and throw you in the pile. That's how that works. It's as simple as that. Listen on the app, listen on the website. God forbid you listen to the radio on the radio. Radio. And then we have to listen to our idiot owners start telling us about

[Brady]

how, how come nobody listens on the radio?

[John Holberg]

Geez, I don't know. Also, I'd like to say that the system that we've had for commercials that's been spectacular for 10 years has been monkeyed with. So you're going to hear Some spots from Thanksgiving every once in a while. We don't know why, but we've been told that that's normal. If we did it, we'd have to pay money back. But it's. It's totally. They're trying something new, they said. I'm like, why? It wasn't broken. Yeah, but we're trying something new. And for a while, it's just gonna run whatever it wants. There's nothing you can do about it. So if you hear a spot, like, if it shows up again, it's not us. We didn't do it. If it's is just all of a sudden doing something. So we didn't do it. It's just in the system and the computer's going crazy.

[Brett Vesely]

And Eric won't be at margarita rocks

[John Holberg]

talking about margarita rocks. And if Chuck RT is on, it's just the computers decided to. You know, it's got Alzheimer's and it's doing some clarity Memories. We don't know. But evidently the thing that was not broken needed to be played with. And now it's playing spot. We don't know when they're coming. So it looks on the screen that it's going to do the right thing. And then it'll play like fanduel football ads. We don't understand why it's not us. I'm not taking the blame for it. Some jackass in a suit decided to say, what's not broken? It's like the commercials. Let's work on that. So they decided to screw around with something that wasn't broken, and now it is. And they're saying, don't worry about it. That's normal. Because they're really bad at their jobs. And poor Lane downstairs is like, yeah, they did it in Chicago and it did the same thing. It's like, well, why did they pass that on to us?

[Co-host/Friend]

They just dumb working things out.

[John Holberg]

They're not, though, because it was working before. Hey, how's your car running, Brett? Seems to be good. Does it? All right, I'm gonna go outside. I'm gonna start playing. I'm gonna start moving some stuff around. If it stops working, that's normal.

[Co-host/Friend]

Oh, okay.

[John Holberg]

That's because I've been monkeying with it. So once I screwed with it, it stopped working. That's totally okay. Pinheads.

[Brady]

How come knowing this is Iranian? Brady, do you have any ideas?

[John Holberg]

I don't know.

[Brady]

Maybe because you jackasses keep saying not to.

[Co-host/Friend]

Idiots.

[John Holberg]

Let's get right to it. It's time for Brady to give you all the news that only Brady knows. We call this the Brady Report and it's brought to you by all pro shade concepts. Arizona's best patio shades. 20 plus years in the business doing this job and they are custom building shades for you. They'll block up to 95% of the sun's EUV rays, the dust, the wind, all the stuff there's been windy, man. And the whole city smells like baby aspirin. My favorite time of year. Oh, you get those orange blossoms going. You get that baby aspirin smell in the air and it reminds you when you were five and you had a little headache and they gave you that delicious orange aspirin. Oh, it all smells so good. But there's a lot of dust and pollen and stuff in the air. And those shades they put up, they're gonna cut a lot of that down for you. You can choose from the manual ones, motorized options. They've got it all. And they'll come by your house for a free and home consultation. You got an idea like, hey, I

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[John Holberg]

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[Co-host/Friend]

Good Monday morning to you, Phoenix. Hello world.

[Caller/Listener]

Hi.

[Co-host/Friend]

Happy National Barbie Day. New National Get Over It Day.

[John Holberg]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Friend]

National Meatball Day. Couple of basis fun facts. In the United States, one third of workers in hospitality and tourism are immigrants.

[John Holberg]

Say it again.

[Co-host/Friend]

One third of workers in hospitality and tourism are immigrants.

[John Holberg]

All right. Isn't the argument that we're all immigrants? Isn't that what I'm always hearing? There's the word legal involve itself in that.

[Co-host/Friend]

They left that out.

[John Holberg]

That's the weird one, right? Because I'm pretty sure.

[Co-host/Friend]

Because then it would be 100.

[John Holberg]

I mean I'm not.

[Co-host/Friend]

Well, I'm eventually.

[John Holberg]

I am not an immigrant, but I am descended. But we all are.

[Co-host/Friend]

Yeah, I think they are.

[John Holberg]

What about a talking stick?

[Co-host/Friend]

Talking about at the this talking stick casino.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, like they have percentage.

[Co-host/Friend]

30%.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Except the United States, they're the only ones that aren't immigrants.

[Co-host/Friend]

Yeah. They should say the other way.

[John Holberg]

They hire all Indians. Like we're all 100 natural homegrown farm to table.

[Co-host/Friend]

Miami is the only major American city that was founded by a woman.

[John Holberg]

And look at it.

[Co-host/Friend]

Her name is Julia Tuttle. She owned a citrus company. The longest word In English is 189,819 letters go. And it could take you three and a half hours to say it.

[John Holberg]

Try.

[Co-host/Friend]

Well, good Good request there. It's a chemical name of a protein called Tintin. And it's not in the dictionary. It's a technical word. Some people argue that it shouldn't count. But Mr. Beast tried it on YouTube in 2017.

[John Holberg]

And did he get through?

[Co-host/Friend]

I don't think so. Here's a rundown of some of the weird things that went unclaimed in airports last year. A fully assembled robot. They think it maybe I'll take it Was a prototype along with bionic knee. Had a mo built in motor in it. But they were like pretty sure it looks like a prototype.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. We know what they were doing. We already talked about that.

[Co-host/Friend]

A set of grills made with diamonds and 10 karat gold teeth.

[John Holberg]

Grills. Not like teeth grills.

[Co-host/Friend]

Yep. Kind of like Kanye and Post Malone wear a meteorite. They were able to figure out it was part of a meteor that fell on the Earth in 1576.

[John Holberg]

And somebody checked that

[Co-host/Friend]

Unclaimed.

[John Holberg]

You don't keep that in your. You know. You bring it on board.

[Co-host/Friend]

Not leaving that one unless someone let them know that hey there's a chunk there. Because isn't that illegal?

[John Holberg]

Can you forget it? Well as a moon would be illegal. Like a meteorite. Yeah.

[Co-host/Friend]

That's right.

[John Holberg]

Can't carry moon bits. Even though they're missing like almost all of it. Tons of it got stolen. Or they don't know where half the moon is.

[Co-host/Friend]

A 1 oz gold bar. It was worth several thousand dollars. Matching pair of samurai swords. Gold plated golf clubs. Japanese brand Hanma makes a few types of gold plated clubs. Full set can cost anywhere from a few grand to $60,000.

[John Holberg]

Those are mine.

[Brady]

I forgot those.

[Co-host/Friend]

The most valuable find was a pair of diamond earrings. Retail at 40. $43,000.

[John Holberg]

That's pretty good. Whatever.

[Co-host/Friend]

And a Rolex at 35 grand.

[John Holberg]

They didn't say the airport there was. Is there one that has this problem more often than others?

[Co-host/Friend]

Yeah. It didn't say.

[John Holberg]

I always go like a baggage claim and I see that big pile of bags on a busy day just over in the corner. Remember they had those people that would go down and just steal bags and nobody ever checks. I don't know how that system is just what. Say again?

[Caller/Listener]

They did for a while. You had to.

[John Holberg]

Oh yeah. I remember that.

[Co-host/Friend]

But.

[Caller/Listener]

And then that went away.

[John Holberg]

But just. You could just do whatever. And then they have cameras I guess. But

[Co-host/Friend]

scientists in Japan have created an onion that does not make your eyes water when you chop it.

[John Holberg]

What. What will they do next?

[Co-host/Friend]

They've been working on it for over 20 years and you could start seeing them in stores here in the States pretty soon. I gotta say they call it the smile ball.

[John Holberg]

I gotta say this is a controversial take, but I'm willing to go there. It might be time we dropped a nuke on ourselves because it makes you pretty damn ingenious. Like what these people have done since we threw sunshine on them is unbelievable. They weren't doing this. We dropped sunshine on them. The next thing you know they invented better cars and technology and TVs and they went crazy. Now they're doing onions that tear free onions. These. This is a put another one on them. I bet you they can reinvent an

[Co-host/Friend]

entire planet and the states will market them under the name Goldies.

[John Holberg]

Unbelievable. You put sunshine on a people and the next thing you know they're coming up with great ideas. Everything's better. We come up with an idea and you tell Japan. Thinking about doing this. Oh, onion no. Make people cry. Yeah, it's got to taste like an onion, though. It's got to be the same. Yeah, we'll work on that. And they did it.

[Podcast Announcer]

Something, something. Check out Homework's Morning Sickness podcast at

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[Michael]

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[Podcast Announcer]

Holmberg's morning sickness.

[John Holberg]

Brady, how old is the earth?

[Co-host/Friend]

You know it's old.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, it's old. That's a good answer.

[Caller/Listener]

2,000 years.

[John Holberg]

That's right. 20, 25, 26. Give or take

[Co-host/Friend]

10,000, isn't it?

[John Holberg]

Hey, we'll go with your biblical 10K. Yeah, whatever. The onion has always made us cry. Japs fixed it with smiley balls. Smiley balls coming your way. What else? Unbelievable lady robots, amazing televisions. You pick up a TV. It was a 98 inch television at Best Buy. It's about 3 pounds. Move it with one hand, come on. Yeah, you pick it right up. Nothing.

[Caller/Listener]

Have you seen those Fabric TVs?

[John Holberg]

Unbelievable. That like wave wallpaper. It's all just. It's that sunshine, man.

[Co-host/Friend]

We got an inmate in Florida. He's facing new charges after he snuck away from a work assignment to get it on inside of a portable.

[John Holberg]

A portage on with another prisoner.

[Co-host/Friend]

Yeah, former prisoner.

[John Holberg]

Huh.

[Co-host/Friend]

Indian River County Jail is in Vero Beach, Florida.

[John Holberg]

Time out. Why is a former prisoner at a prison?

[Co-host/Friend]

So this guy was on a work dude, he was off off site from the prison. Oh, he's working at event. Picking up trash.

[Caller/Listener]

Like a promo event. Like anything that's allowed, like just hanging banners.

[John Holberg]

Come see our prison. You just go to like the. The ostrich festival. They hire prisoners.

[Co-host/Friend]

He's in a crew of low level inmates called trustees. They get to work events. Oh, and so this 35 year old Hartley Sanchez, who was serving food until he snuck off mid shift security cameras caught him on video talking to two women near a bank of porta potties. Then one of the women went into the porta potty and after checking if the coast was clear, he joined her. It turned out she was a former inmate. It's not clear how she knew Hartley before their encounter.

[John Holberg]

Not at his job.

[Co-host/Friend]

It was just a fling. But he was questioned about it. Freely admitted that yeah, we were there to get it on. Oh, she is not in trouble. But Hartley is.

[John Holberg]

She's not in trouble with the law, Brady. But literally in life, she's in trouble because the decision she made that day is the worst I've ever heard.

[Co-host/Friend]

He's been in jail awaiting trial for theft and drug possession. Now he's facing charges of attempting to escape.

[John Holberg]

She had sex in a Porta John with a prisoner at a barbecue.

[Co-host/Friend]

He's looking at tacking on another 15 years.

[John Holberg]

He knew it. He knew it. Think of the class involved in a woman that says, well, he ain't getting that anytime soon.

[Brady]

But I like him. So I'm gonna do it over everybody else's poop.

[Co-host/Friend]

Well, here's the woman he did you.

[John Holberg]

You said it was at a barbecue. Oh, she's. It's Rachel Maddow. Oh, wow. Do you know what a Porta John is at a barbecue festival?

[Co-host/Friend]

Well, a lot of people found out this past weekend because that Chandler barbecue is happening. So it's got to be smelly.

[John Holberg]

I would think so.

[Co-host/Friend]

A little rich.

[John Holberg]

I think I'm going to run with your slight assessment of that.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, forget we had a guy who.

[John Holberg]

Of course I don't care about that.

[Co-host/Friend]

Plenty of deep blue.

[John Holberg]

They were at least free citizens with votes. This. This guy is a jailbird. And she. And he wooed her. Larry, get on the ball. He got laid at a barbecue festival even though he's a prisoner. What kind of lines is he running that makes her go, I don't care about any of that.

[Brady]

Just bend me over this toilet.

[Co-host/Friend]

That dude serving food is high. He's high.

[John Holberg]

He's gonna be in jail for a long time. He's got a. He's got a record.

[Brady]

It can't be that bad. They wouldn't let him work the barbecue festival. I'm gonna over everybody else's feces.

[Co-host/Friend]

Let me meet that trustee.

[Brady]

I like to be face down and John toilet. Just look at all that mess. While I'm getting aroused back there.

[John Holberg]

Where else can you look? You're looking in the hole at all that I had. When I pee in a portage on, I don't look down.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, no. That's.

[John Holberg]

It's the last thing she managed to self lubricate in one of those.

[Co-host/Friend]

He had her looking down.

[Brady]

Do we have a future?

[John Holberg]

I'm gonna be in jail for like a decade.

[Brady]

I still gonna wait on you.

[Brett Vesely]

You see what she looked like? He was probably looking down too.

[John Holberg]

Look, I. Yeah, the smell of the Porta John was probably better than that thing.

[Co-host/Friend]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

What kind of parents did you have? Were they wolves? You made that?

[Brady]

I don't want to bang in The Port of John. I got a little class left.

[Co-host/Friend]

I'll screw it.

[Brady]

Let's do this.

[John Holberg]

There's zero dignity at all.

[Caller/Listener]

I'll add that to my parent bingo card. I don't ever want to read a headline.

[John Holberg]

No, no. See Alex page or have Alex tell you one Thanksgiving for now.

[Co-host/Friend]

Hey, dad, remember a trustee in Florida.

[John Holberg]

There may be nothing worse than the push pull visual of the bottom of a Porta John toilet as your head goes over it, top and bottom. And you know you're gonna at one point see something in there and just go, what in the hell is that? Are you done yet? It's kind of hard to finish, the smell and all.

[Co-host/Friend]

You think they went to the hand sanitizer station afterwards out front?

[John Holberg]

No, I don't think those people. I don't think those people know what that is.

[Caller/Listener]

They used it for lube.

[John Holberg]

They don't know what that is.

[Co-host/Friend]

Burns. Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Okay. Why you're using a stingy as? It's in the bucket here. There's a KY bucket they keep in the Porta Johns for us classy folk. If you've had sex in a Porta John, you're so. You're like human aids. Like, that's just gross. You're just gross as a dude. It's different as a woman. Come on. You can't come out of that one up your game. First off, it's not a good story for a lady. She's not going to sit at Postina's.

[Brady]

Could ever tell you ladies about the time I did that prisoner in the Porta John?

[John Holberg]

Like, you're not. You've got no friends. If you're a Porta John whore, you're always a Porta John whore. You can't. You can't kiss your kids good night.

[Co-host/Friend]

Porta John baby.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, well, if you got pregnant in a Porta John, hang yourself with the umbilical cord.

[Co-host/Friend]

That's my boy. Blue.

[John Holberg]

Because that's the color he was when I dropped him into the trough. Oh, God, humanity. I can't wait for these robots.

[Co-host/Friend]

We got a couple in Ohio. Oh, the guy won a million dollar Scratch off a few years ago, and his wife went into a Kroger store in Circleville, bought a scratcher. He starts scratching it off and numbers are matching. She's like, holy crap. I won $200,000. Checks it out. She won $200,000 for the next 25 years.

[John Holberg]

Whoa.

[Co-host/Friend]

$5 million.

[John Holberg]

Nice.

[Co-host/Friend]

Total jackpot.

[John Holberg]

Wow.

[Co-host/Friend]

She said he gets none of it. He's been sharing his million dollar Scratcher he's got.

[Brady]

Now, let's. Legally, this is mine. So I've been getting the raw end of the deal here.

[Co-host/Friend]

This guy in Malaysia is in the Guinness World Record. Brett, this one's for you. For the number of teeth he has in his mouth, he has 42 of them.

[John Holberg]

Wow.

[Co-host/Friend]

10 more than the average adult. He first noticed something was up in 2021.

[John Holberg]

Just thinking that. I was just counting with my tongue. I'm like, don't we all have the same amount?

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[John Holberg]

Isn't the outlier a guy with less or more than 32?

[Co-host/Friend]

Well, some people might not have all four wisdom teeth come in, maybe have

[Caller/Listener]

two, but that's more. Isn't that the 36?

[John Holberg]

Yeah. Doesn't that bump you past. No, I thought Brett doesn't have the proper amount of teeth, but that's just temporary, right? Right. You're missing one right now because you gotta get you a new one.

[Co-host/Friend]

So in 2021, a family member counted 38. Then an X ray showed four more still waiting to come in.

[Brett Vesely]

How do you have a mouth that big?

[Co-host/Friend]

He's got teeth on the inside of his. Like your molars there. Looks like there's another row.

[Brett Vesely]

Like, dark.

[Co-host/Friend]

Yeah, almost. Yeah.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, man. You counting?

[Caller/Listener]

It does include 32. Includes the wisdom teeth, yeah.

[John Holberg]

I have 31, and I had my wisdom teeth taken out.

[Caller/Listener]

Eight incisors, four canines, eight premolars, and 12 molars.

[John Holberg]

All right, don't watch me count to you.

[Caller/Listener]

Well, you're kind of hard not to.

[Co-host/Friend]

You got a special mouth.

[John Holberg]

What? I'm gonna stop doing this. I'll do it on my own later.

[Caller/Listener]

I'm waiting for a finger in your

[Co-host/Friend]

mouth for an implant.

[John Holberg]

Evidently, it turns Brady into a man. Violent hillbilly rapist. Can a man touch his own teeth without you getting a hard on?

[Co-host/Friend]

You got a pretty mouth.

[John Holberg]

All right, settle down. I have 31 teeth.

[Advertisement Voice]

Yeah, but you're.

[Caller/Listener]

You knew you're missing one, right? Are you missing one?

[John Holberg]

All my wisdom teeth taken out. You said that was 32 with wisdom.

[Co-host/Friend]

And did you. Was it four? Four. All four of them.

[John Holberg]

I don't even. Odd number anyway.

[Caller/Listener]

Well, one of them is a double. It looks like a twin.

[John Holberg]

That would be less.

[Caller/Listener]

Well, no, I'm. When you went over the bump.

[Advertisement Voice]

It's one tooth.

[John Holberg]

I know how my teeth operate.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

[Podcast Announcer]

There's something, something. Check out homework's morning sickness podcast at 98 KUPD.

[John Holberg]

Hey, it's John Holberg here. Shilling away for new ACUnit.com. i've been telling you about the amazing new AC Unit.com. for about three years, new AC Unit.com put the power back in your hands. Three easy steps online gets you your unit ordered, inspected and installed by the best in the business. And I'm super excited to tell you that new aceunit.com now offers many splits. If you work in a garage, a casita, or even have, like, a man cave somewhere back in that garage, mini splits can be a must. New acunit.com has it now and you can install it. They'll even include the electrical. Save thousands save time buy online new ac unit.com. hey, it's John Holmerg here from the morning sickness. And it's time to talk about my friend, TV's Doug Hopkins of my home group and Doug Hopkins dot com. Doug buys houses for cash as is. No repairs, no showings, none of that usual stress. He knows the Phoenix market inside and out, and he makes the process simple. You need to sell fast. Divorce, relocation, inherited property, whatever. TV's Doug Hopkins is a guy who puts his money where his mouth is. Start the process@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing along. Ness.

[Caller/Listener]

I don't think so.

[Co-host/Friend]

I got a couple of pretty videos.

[Caller/Listener]

How many you get on the bottom there?

[John Holberg]

Hang on. Okay. 20, 21, 22. There's 31.

[Caller/Listener]

All right, Dennis, call us or text us.

[John Holberg]

I don't like this at all.

[Caller/Listener]

No, I wouldn't either.

[John Holberg]

I got a rogue tooth.

[Co-host/Friend]

They throw an extra one in.

[John Holberg]

I don't think they gave me, like, a bogo. Oh, hey, we did that crown. We threw in an extra chopper for you. You're gonna love carrots.

[Co-host/Friend]

Now you have one more insight, as

[Brett Vesely]

people always like a deal.

[John Holberg]

So. Yeah, how much for an extra tool? You're gonna love apples.

[Co-host/Friend]

The first Brady video is a guy proposing to a woman. All right, At a restaurant.

[John Holberg]

Overhead cameras and proposals always end with cars.

[Caller/Listener]

Do you see the community note?

[John Holberg]

It's an AI Gen. It says it right on the thing. This is an AI generated video. It's the first thing you read.

[Co-host/Friend]

Play it anyway.

[John Holberg]

All right, ready? I hope. Like a dinosaur attacks these people and reveals Brady is even dumber. He's proposing on a cafe outside.

[Caller/Listener]

She said no.

[John Holberg]

She says no, and then he punches her out. All right, Brady.

[Co-host/Friend]

Real.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, AI Real, it says. So you know what you got confused that you don't know how to spell real properly. It says R, E, E, L. That's

[Co-host/Friend]

what I fell for.

[Caller/Listener]

This is real.

[John Holberg]

It's an AI real. Oh, God. All right.

[Co-host/Friend]

This one isn't. I don't think.

[John Holberg]

Well, does it say?

[Caller/Listener]

It does not say.

[Brett Vesely]

All right, let's add another language. So who knows?

[John Holberg]

Okay, so we're pulling something out of a guy's tooth. It looks like a filling, but it's also like raisin. It's like he's pulling a raisin out of the center of a dude's molar. But it's not a raisin. This is a living. What is that?

[Caller/Listener]

Got a hole in his tooth.

[John Holberg]

Got a hole in the center of his molar, and it's filled with. That almost looks like Christmas music. I think it is an insect. Now they're pulling out some. It's a bug. Oh, they're pussing the tooth at the center of it. This is into Gummoe's mouth. This is Brett's mouth. Just Friday. It's a praying mantis.

[Co-host/Friend]

It does look like a praying mantis.

[Brett Vesely]

I think it is a Trans Siberian Orchestra playing.

[Co-host/Friend]

That's kale.

[John Holberg]

That's a piece of asparagus.

[Brett Vesely]

What is it?

[John Holberg]

I don't know what kale looks like. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, he saw a picture of it once. This is also a. There's like a worm that came out of this. Yeah. All right, that's enough of that. Brett's been through enough with his teeth that you don't need to see that. Yuck.

[Co-host/Friend]

It's all good now.

[John Holberg]

All right, Bert. All right.

[Brett Vesely]

The boy sent one over for Brady.

[John Holberg]

All right. This is a lady. Oh, good Lord. Oh, sweet Jesus. The most deformed person I've ever seen. Everything from the belly button up is okay. And then there's two little chicken legs where the legs should go, wow. And it's doing sexy dances with a third of a human body.

[Caller/Listener]

So is it like that pommel horse in. In gymnastics where you just use your palms and kind of move?

[John Holberg]

Yeah, there's no legs to use, so it's. Yeah, it would be like if it's super strong upper body. You know what's great about this cripple? It's one of the worst looking things I've ever seen. It looks like Hoda caught me. If you cut her lower legs out. And then the back wall in her bedroom is just nothing but Tiger Beat and Teen Beat, like pages from magazines. That's enough. That's enough.

[Caller/Listener]

That its bed is off the ground.

[John Holberg]

That is the grossest non human I've ever seen. All right, that doesn't count.

[Brett Vesely]

How about some of this, right?

[John Holberg]

She's naked and yelling at me, but she Looks like a fella. Oh, Jesus Christ. And then circumcision. There's a female circumcision right next to her. Oh, there's another one. Oh, they show their. They show their lady bits and they've been sewn shut by whatever tribe they live in in some cruddy country. Oh, my God.

[Co-host/Friend]

Or was it a hammered sex operation?

[John Holberg]

No, those are female.

[Co-host/Friend]

I think those are dudes that's got

[John Holberg]

no hammered in the. All right, I'm gonna go surgery. Either way, it's disturbing. Although that one has very nice thighs. She does ice game, but she got fake boobs.

[Caller/Listener]

God, I wish I knew what.

[Co-host/Friend]

You did a good job on that.

[John Holberg]

Do we have anybody from whatever Bill Earth can translate that terrible language for us?

[Co-host/Friend]

Something about discover card.

[John Holberg]

You think that was India? I didn't know. I thought it was like Sanistan.

[Brett Vesely]

I agree.

[Caller/Listener]

I think it's a. Yeah, it's one of the stands.

[Brett Vesely]

This one. This one is Kirby showing Brady how to smoke weed.

[John Holberg]

All right, it's a kid chicken. It's a dead. It's a dead duck. And he's made a bong out of a dead duck. And he's smoking weed out of a dead duck. That will happen at Brady's house when Kirby finds the roasted duck. It's a little. It's one of the guys from a K pop band, and he's doing.

[Brady]

Has anyone seen my. My duck in the fridge?

[John Holberg]

Hey, man, we were outside playing with your duck.

[Brady]

Did you smoke it?

[John Holberg]

Yep. I was smoking my dad's meat and I don't know. All right, where are we here? Oh, there's a 90 year old woman with a sex object. Oh, she's deep throating a sex toy at a weird party. She's in her 90s. Her breasts are down to her hips with no teeth. There's no teeth. She pulled this out of her purse. It's about a 10 incher. She eats the whole thing, then takes it out and starts waving it around at the party. And that.

[Caller/Listener]

That dude that's banging the drum.

[John Holberg]

Yeah. He's playing for this.

[Caller/Listener]

Looking right at her.

[John Holberg]

This is like a wedding. It looks like. And then that lady did that. That's somebody's grandma.

[Co-host/Friend]

Oh, my God.

[John Holberg]

That's somebody's.

[Co-host/Friend]

She gets all riled up.

[Caller/Listener]

Baboo.

[John Holberg]

Somebody's baboo.

[Brett Vesely]

Oh, here's an accident for you.

[John Holberg]

There's a guy who slid down a road on a motorcycle. I'm guessing his ass is. Yep. He fell off a Kawasaki dirt bike and his pants ripped up and his Ass has tons of road rash on it. And his friends have decided to film the road rash rather than help. Oh, gotta ride home. His ass is the color of the inside of a watermelon.

[Brett Vesely]

And this was supposed to be for. This was supposed to be Friday, but.

[John Holberg]

Oh, boy.

[Brett Vesely]

It's a waterboard fetishing lady.

[John Holberg]

What? Oh. So she's getting waterboarded. She's in a cage on her back. Her mouth's wide open. They're dipping the cage into the water. She's naked. They're actually gonna waterboard her. And also with a vibrator on her. On her lady bits.

[Co-host/Friend]

Is that a tremolo?

[John Holberg]

No, that's a ladybit. That's like a. They took a. Like a water pick that they added a feature to.

[Brett Vesely]

How about your toothbrush?

[John Holberg]

Why does she have cobwebs in her mouth? Is she a mummy? Oh. Now they're dipping her in the water. She's upside down now in the waterboarding cage. Where do you get all this stuff? You're gonna buy this? Are you on some sort of a list?

[Caller/Listener]

He's just a good welder, John.

[John Holberg]

Dipping her into this bucket of water and holding her under for a while while she's naked, she comes up laughing.

[Caller/Listener]

That is a perfect body cage.

[John Holberg]

Yeah, well.

[Brett Vesely]

Wow. So there you go.

[Brady]

Okay.

[Brett Vesely]

I don't know what to say about that one, man. It's not often I'm speechless, but.

[John Holberg]

Man, I don't know what that was, but a guy took time to please her before he started to drown her. This world. This world we're in. What a honeymoon, man. Yeah, that's. And that's how their child was made. And someday she'll kiss Mommy and suckle at the teat of life.

[Brady]

Tell me again how you and dad met.

[John Holberg]

Oh, I was.

[Co-host/Friend]

Would you like to see? I got video.

[John Holberg]

I was enjoying lunch and. And then I got a potato sack thrown over my head and I was tossed in the back of a truck. Wow.

[Caller/Listener]

I knew it was true love.

[John Holberg]

And I knew he cared about me because he never let me go again. He locked me in the house.

[Caller/Listener]

A couple other texts from the report. John, your extra tooth is a tracking device. Welcome to the simulation. That is also why you're gay now.

[John Holberg]

Oh, boy. No, you got Alex go in.

[Caller/Listener]

Otherwise, who did it to me?

[Radio Host]

We just offer our children up to

[John Holberg]

the system with the fluoride, the water and the GMO hurting them, and we

[Radio Host]

let fat perverts grab them at the airport to train them for the pedophile government.

[Co-host/Friend]

There you go.

[Caller/Listener]

That's why Another one says, I'd like to thank Brady for giving me his new nickname, Smile Ball.

[John Holberg]

Smile ball's a good one. Brady's a smile ball. It will make you cry. All those Japanese people. What else you want from us? Don't drop sunshine on us ever again.

[Caller/Listener]

I would like an onion that doesn't

[John Holberg]

Onion that I can cut without crying. We are on it. Don't piss off. Round eye roulette bombadas make sunshine twice.

[Caller/Listener]

We'll be back in 10 years.

[John Holberg]

It's hot today. Oh, no, no, no, no. Not that hot. Yeah, you complain about hot. Think of grandpa boy. I tell you what, whatever it did to him, innovation, it created a lot. The world's a better place since we nuked Japan. I'll say it. Just go over to any. Just consult the Internet. World's a better place. There you go, everybody. That is your Brady Report.

[Podcast Announcer]

It's 98, Arizona's most powerful rock radio station.

[John Holberg]

He said fully erect. It's John Holberg here from the morning sickness. Time to talk about TV's Doug Hopkins of My Home Group and Doug Hopkins dot com. Another satisfied listener called TV's Doug Hopkins and sold her home for cash. She reached out. Her name's Ashley, and Doug wants to make it it simple. Buy your house for cash as is. You don't have to do anything. Just like Ashley, no strings attached. If he moves that price, you get $5,000. Want to sell that place? Start the process online@doug hopkins.com or grab the phone and sing.

[Brett Vesely]

It's Brett Vesely from homebrews. Morning sickness. Want to let you guys know about my friends over at Divine Design Landscaping.

[John Holberg]

Let me guess.

[Brett Vesely]

You like your backyard. It's simple. It's natural. It's low maintenance. Low maintenance. It's full of rocks and regret. And that one plastic chair you swear is temporary. Well, it's been there since 2015. Look, I've seen what Divine Design Landscaping can do. And look, they can do everything from custom pavers to turf that actually looks real, not some 1980s AstroTurf. And they can handle the maintenance, too. So you can just sit back, relax, and enjoy that yard. Go to divinedesignlawncare.com to get a free estimate.