03-09-26 - CONDENSED SHORT SHOW - MONDAY - Holmbergs Morning Sickness 98 KUPD

Summary

Podcast Summary: Holmberg's Morning Sickness – Condensed Short Show (03-09-26)

Overview

This condensed episode of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness is packed with classic irreverent banter among John Holmberg and his rotating crew—Brady Bogen, Bret Vesely, and Dick Toledo. Though truncated, the show dives into topics like awkward household dynamics, skepticism towards religious moralizing, '80s sitcom trauma, generational changes, sex robots, and the questionable choices of some Americans—all punctuated with the show’s trademark humor, satire, and occasional social commentary.

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Segment Breakdown & Key Points

1. Brady’s “Indentured Servant” Story

(00:03 – 04:25)

• Brady recounts an awkward conversation with his housecleaner (“indentured servant”) who had heard Brett’s on-air banter about him.
• Brett and John riff on the situation, exaggerating it into a running “plantation” gag, imagining scenarios where Brady inspects his employee’s work as a mean-spirited overlord.
• Humor turns to concern about boundaries: Should you stay at home while cleaners work, or is it too awkward?

Notable Exchanges & Quotes:

• "Now sir, by the way, these are underpants. I assume they was. Cause they covered in poopy.” — John Holmberg (00:29)
• “He’s gonna move his family in and everything else. Thomas brought some people to help out.” — John Holmberg (04:08)

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2. AI, Satan, and Religious Hysteria

(07:49 – 15:46)

• John shares his disbelief at a televised religious roundtable, with a rabbi, a Catholic priest, and a "moolah" (imam) debating AI as an “era of Satanism.”
• Satirical comparisons between religious attire and gender-fluidity, noting the hypocrisy in how some churches villainize others.
• Critical commentary on historical church scandals and their continuing moral authority in the media.

Notable Exchanges & Quotes:

• “If this was...If anyone sat in a studio and said, ‘Turn the cameras on. We’re worried that AI is going to make Medusa mad’…You’re an idiot.” — John Holmberg (09:08)
• "That entire organization raped kids and hid it... And they’re the ones going on TV with the nerve to say, ‘Oh, you gotta watch out, you know, people do bad things to kids, and we’re here to protect that.’" — John Holmberg (13:13, impassioned, satirical rant)
• Brett pushes back with nuance: "Well, the argument on that is not all of them." (14:35)

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3. Handling Childhood Trauma and ‘80s Sitcoms

(17:53 – 21:38)

• The team plays an 80s cartoon PSA about inappropriate touching, mocking the total bluntness and lack of subtlety in old-school messaging.
• Memorable overview of "Diff’rent Strokes" infamous "bike shop episode". They roast the abrupt disappearance of traumatic storylines in those sitcoms.

Notable Moments:

• "One of my favorite things about the 80s was their blatant handling of ‘you're probably gonna get fingered by somebody.’" — John Holmberg (18:08)
• “Here's the best part about Dudley getting raped…We never hung on to anything. We watched Dudley get raped... and the next Tuesday...was never mentioned again.” — John Holmberg (19:04)

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4. Generational Divide & "Cool Parents"

(24:45 – 31:15)

• News story: “Party Mom” arrested for hosting sex-and-booze parties for teens.
• The guys contrast their own teenage experiences: “In our day…that was the house of cool.”
• Lament the “narc culture” of current teens, who ratted out the permissive mom.
• Discussion of why supervised risky behavior was preferable to secretive, unsupervised risk.

Notable Quotes:

• "We prayed for a house like that." — John Holmberg (24:53)
• "This generation rats out the cool mom. They let us drink." — John Holmberg (26:53)
• “Now she's got to go to jail. Well, I think she's a hero.” — John Holmberg (31:15)

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5. Sex Robots & the Future of Dating

(34:45 – 41:59)

• Fascinated horror and excitement about hyper-realistic sex robots hitting the market in the near future.
• John lampoons women's prospective loss of dating “leverage,” speculates on how AI could “replace a whole gender.”
• Mocking the gender roles of scientist-inventors: Men will build better female robots, but nobody’s rushing to make male sex bots.

Notable Quotes:

• “There is active science trying to replace you. You think AI is coming for your job? They're coming for a whole gender.” — John Holmberg (35:38)
• “Ladies, I'm telling you. You worry about AI coming for lawyers’ jobs—they’re coming for you.” — John Holmberg (38:26)

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6. News of the Weird: Porta John Romance

(43:01 – 47:54)

• Story of a Florida inmate sneaking off for a tryst in a porta potty at a BBQ festival with a female ex-prisoner.
• Classic shock-jock banter on the grossness, shame, and poor life choices displayed.

Memorable Excerpts:

• "She had sex in a porta john with a prisoner at a barbecue." — John Holmberg (44:48)
• “If you’ve had sex in a Porta John, you're so…You're like human aids.” — John Holmberg (48:04)

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7. Listener Mail: Quitting Mormonism and Faith

(50:24 – 54:56)

• Heather writes in, questioning her Mormon faith. Team gives her “straight talk” about leaving a religion and the social pressures involved.
• Brady discusses tithing and the financial/social consequences of leaving.
• John skewers Pascal’s Wager, the idea of faith “just in case.”

Notable Quotes:

• “You're already out by emailing and saying I think it's all silly. Oh, you're not a believer.” — John Holmberg (51:17)
• "What a lovely caring endeavor that whole religion is that you've been blackmailed into believing. Or else." — John Holmberg (51:59)

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8. “What Turns Americans On” Survey

(55:21 – end)

• Light rapid-fire rundown of survey data about top songs, shows, and movies that turn Americans on.
• Discussion of “birthday sex,” “Dirty Dancing,” “Sex in the City,” and other pop culture favorites.
• Brett’s unfamiliarity with “Birthday Sex” sparks more ribbing.

Sample Banter:

• "You're not familiar with the song or the actual act?" — John Holmberg (55:59)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments (Timestamps)

• (00:29) John: “Now sir, by the way, these are underpants. I assume they was. Cause they covered in poopy.”
• (09:08) John: “If anyone sat in a studio and said…‘We’re worried that AI is going to make Medusa mad’...You’re an idiot.”
• (13:13) John: “That entire organization raped kids and hid it…”
• (18:08) John: "One of my favorite things about the 80s was their blatant handling of 'you're probably gonna get fingered by somebody.'"
• (35:38) John: “There is active science trying to replace you. You think AI is coming for your job? They're coming for a whole gender.”
• (44:48) John: “She had sex in a Porta John with a prisoner at a barbecue.”

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Tone and Style

• Irreverent, sarcastic, rapid-fire with a mix of crude humor and satirical social commentary.
• Hosts often bounce off each other with mock outrage and improvisational bits.
• Sensitive topics—particularly faith, generational conflicts, and sex—are routinely lampooned with little filter, but with a sharp eye for hypocrisy or double standards in culture.

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For First-Time Listeners

If you haven’t tuned in before, this episode is representative: ribald, unfiltered, and sometimes insightful. The crew’s mix of local flavor, pop culture critique, and gallows humor tackles current events, social mores, and the absurdities of everyday life, all with Arizona attitude.

Skip this one if you’re easily offended, but if you enjoy probing, comedic social commentary—listen in (preferably without kids in the car).

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

Still streaming, Homberg's morning sickness [e-mail]. Well, good. Gummoe's better. And Brady, you said that your indentured servant got a little uppity on Friday and you had to put him in his place.

[Brett]

Finally. He finally heard through a buddy of his. I understand you talking about me on your radio show.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, boy.

[Brett]

Funny.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he was happy with it.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I thought that was wonderful. You give me all that time. Now, sir. Thank you so much. Now, sir. By the way, these are underpants. I assume they was. Cause they covered in poopy.

[Brett]

Now, Rodney.

[John Holmberg]

Now, Rodney. Yes, sir, Mr. Benny the. So he's okay with it?

[Brett]

Yeah. I tried to explain how we. Yeah, I said it was. He was very funny.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Did you?

[Brett]

I like to hear so.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, no. Did you tell him? They just said you were my slave. Anyway, you didn't tell him. Oh, yeah, you did.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

That you sat and watched a mint Juleps. Oh, geez Louise. That's funny. So that's funny. He's pissing all over Brady's like drawers and all that other stuff. How you doing? Now, I understand you've been making fun of me on the radio. We are allowed to listen to the radio at work now. Now, Rodney Brady has his indentured servant. Did you stick around again when he cleaned?

[Brett]

No, I came in at the tail. I came home and he was still just finishing up.

[John Holmberg]

Was he alone?

[Brett]

Yep.

[John Holmberg]

All right. Do you have in house cameras at all? Because I guarantee you to hurt this mother thinks he gonna get away with this. I'm gonna every drawer in this house, wipe all my. All their silverware. Is everybody feeling well after the weekend?

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Everybody's got a little sickness, don't they? Yeah, that's exactly right. You're terrible. Well, to Rodney, I certainly wouldn't do that to you. I'd answer the door.

[Brett]

Go.

[John Holmberg]

Hello. I'm here to clean your house. Not happening. No, you gotta go do something else. I'm sorry, I can't. I can't do this. Brady walks in. Look at the wax buildup on those shoes. This is fine leather. I want this stripped off. I want them cleaned and buffed. Boy, you son of a. I swear to God I will. Mother, come over and clean us up. Rodney, look at this. What is it, Mr. Boganster? Why you cleaned the kitchen? And I went back in and I started to rub a half a ham. How am I supposed to get all this off there but wash the kitchen again, Rodney? Mother, you hear him saying that all the Time walking through the house. Fat little toe.

[Brett]

Are you sure you cleaned that? I did. Okay, then.

[John Holmberg]

Here you go, Mr. Balkan. Can I. Can I go? Can I go now? Well, let me go do a white glove inspection, so just use your hand. Without a glove, Mother, you're already white. You're already white and get your dirt on your ugly ass. Seems to be reasonable, Rodney. Here's your dollar. You flicker coin. You're humble and lovable. Thank you, sir. You're kind. You're a terrible person. You should have fired him on the spot.

[Brett]

It can be a tough call.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's. How are you gonna get. How are you gonna do it? You gotta. Eventually. He's not going to. He's not. Rodney's gonna live there forever. He's gonna be in Brady's world for the rest of your life. He's gonna move his family in and everything else. Thomas brought some people to help out.

[Brett]

Ronnie, I need you to make a call.

[John Holmberg]

This is not good. We're gonna need another house in the back. You're done. You're done. Because you can't.

[Brett]

You can't get deep into it.

[John Holmberg]

No, he's gonna just be sitting on the couch drinking, not cleaning. Anything today, sir. That's great.

[Brett]

That's.

[John Holmberg]

What are you talking about, Rodney? You gotta clean. I gotta do. You got a slave. I turn your ass in, you go to jail, son.

[Brett]

It's like JB Smooth.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's it. He just stays there. Oh, my God. He's gonna be parking his red Mercedes in your garage. You're still gonna be parking in the driveway. Awesome. His story. Found your daughter's stash of weed, sir. Now, you put that back, Rodney. Kirby hates that. When you break out of her contraband and start moving it around. We found out the hard way, Kirby wants it, Kirby gets it. She got some good son. We were smoking in the backyard together. Who are your friends now, Rodney? I'm gonna dock your dollar if you keep messing around with my daughter's weed stash. Doc, your dollar. You know his friends over Trey and Doughboy and. Oh, I see you've brought a couple of homies. That's right, Mother. That's how it's gonna. He's just gonna end up calling you that. Hey, welcome home. I got a couple friends gotta lay low for a minute. They're gonna do it in your house here, Mother.

[Brett]

That sounds great.

[John Holmberg]

Now, Rodney. Anyway, congratulations to you, Brady. That's a quite a life you've carved out for yourself. How did you handle it when he's like I understand you've been talking about me now. So. Yeah. Just good though.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Even though you should have said I'm uncomfortable with you here, but you're trusting to go through the, like the whole house. I do that with cleaners all the time. I can't be in the house when they're there. That's the worst. Because you could be doing that. You know, it's terrible to have people working around your house that. It's not like electricians or somebody who has to be. It's just people coming in, cleaning your house and you sit there and do nothing while they do it. It's just so. It just makes me feel horrible. Hate it so bad. But I certainly couldn't do it with the way Brady is, which is Candyland. There's something. Something. Check out Homework's Morning Sickness podcast at

[Commercial Announcer]

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[John Holmberg]

Hey, it's John Holberg here from the Morning Sickness talking to you right now about the Schwartz Laser Eye Center. You can be a LASIK candidate. They'll check that out. Lens replacement is unbelievable if you got a cataract like I had. But crazy happen with a torn retina came out of nowhere. No warning signs that torn retina things. No joke. And that's why Dr. Jay Schwartz is so great. You get that complimentary consultation. See how your eyes are doing. Otherwise, they'll take care of whatever you need. Protect that vision. Start at teamidoc.com or call them 480-483-Eyes Schwartz Laser Eye center, the official eye center for your diamondbacks and sons. Holmberg's morning sickness. You know what I watched? I watched the most absolute bat conversation I've ever seen on television. A rabbi. This sounds like a joke. A rabbi, like a. Like a supreme priest. One of the dudes that's in the big red dress, like, he's in. He's the most transvestite of all the Catholics. They dress him up.

[Brett]

A bishop.

[John Holmberg]

I don't know. But he's gay looking in that gigantic dress. And then I started to wonder, like, these Catholics are so mad at trans. And then you go to church and it's just dudes in dresses running around just like you guys have started. This could have been a cardinal. Well, either way, put the pants on, you're a man. God. God wants you in a dress. And then like a dude wears a dress and you want him banished from it. Doesn't make any sense anyway. A rabbi, a gay guy from the Catholic Church in a dress. Some. I don't know what they called him. Some moolah. Like a Middle Eastern dude. They had all of them. They were all uniting because they're like, we may not agree on how religion works, but we do know this, that AI and Satanism are something we have to stop. They think that there's a. There's Satan. They said, AI ushered in a new era of Satanism. And they warn religious leaders, this great power of Satan is going to come at you through AI. And I started to think to myself, if this was. If anyone sat in a TV or in a studio and said, turn the cameras on, we're worried that AI is going to make Medusa mad. We'd all just. You're an idiot. What are you doing that you think Satan's been waiting for AI?

[Brett]

He's sneaky. He's not sneaky, John.

[John Holmberg]

Why does he. Why is he sneaky? He doesn't have to be sneaky.

[Brett]

He's a computer genius.

[John Holmberg]

Yes. So he's been sitting around for thousands of years. When the technology is right and we gotta wait for that, then I'll strike. I hate to break it to you dummies, but by your own book and your own rule, he's had access to AI the whole time now. Yeah, but now you guys have it. So Now I can really play. Why is he part of he participate in the rules if it doesn't make sense? If he's going to take over AI, why didn't he just take over tv? Nobody's stopping him. The whole Satan thing makes me giggle. Hysteric. It's Yosemite Sam in his little outfit. Remember he said, wow, I'm the rooting is tootin his bad guy. It's like invention. And I just can't get over adults going on. Anything is seriously just with their hands clasped, going, well, of course that Satan is going to take over AI and what are you, Metallica? It's not. It's not. Napster. Calm down.

[Brett]

They just want to assign it to the right person in charge.

[John Holmberg]

Who?

[Brett]

Your rabbi, your.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, here's what I didn't notice in your roundtable of AI One polytheist from India. They're the ones you talk to about AI getting taken over. That's the. If anything's gonna get in there, the guys who believe in Vishnu are the ones who are gonna stop it. Not some Jew or some gay Catholic or some moolah. They're not AI savvy. If I could tell you right now, Brett, who would you take? A bishop, a rabbi, some guy with a thing? Or a Middle Eastern dude who's got eight arms on his desk talking about Vishnu and an elephant who's fixing your computer from AI Satanism. Oh, Kevin from Discover. Kevin from. Yeah, that's right. Mumbai's own. Yeah, yeah. Oh, they were very serious. And then some idiot in the audience is like, how do we know they're asking questions? How are we aware of Satan in our computer? You're not. That's the key to it. Like, that just tells me I must be awesome. If religion's afraid of it, it means it's going to expose them.

[Brett]

There, I think, is the big question. Will AI make the world a better place?

[John Holmberg]

No. Yeah, we are the problem. It's not more entertaining.

[Brett]

Yeah, they're Satan.

[John Holmberg]

That's not safe.

[Brett]

That's what I'm saying, people. That's your own human.

[John Holmberg]

That's kind of evil. It's definitely more entertaining. We're evil, all of us.

[Brett]

Not all of us.

[John Holmberg]

Well, then. Then why would that be the thing if it's just going to be. Some people do dumb stuff and some people don't. It isn't evil. It's just. AI has nothing to do with it. Satan's not in your computer. He's not thinking it. Yeah, I. Oh, he's also not real What? But I'm saying, yeah, I know you

[Brett]

hear from the experts about, you know, AI, you know, and who knows what to believe? But they're like, we let it out too early.

[John Holmberg]

We, you know, no idea how the people, the dudes in dresses, still have the right to sit on a TV and say, we're worried that Satan's using AI to manipulate your children. And I'm like, you guys, how do they still. How, as a society, still listening to those dudes in dresses tell us what's wrong with how to treat kids? They lost the right to say that they've complete for thousands of years. That's not an exaggeration. That entire organization raped kids and hid it. And they're the ones going on TV with the nerve to say, oh, you gotta watch out. You know, people do bad things to kids, and we're here to protect that. You lost the right. Papa John's can't have a pizza place because he said one bad word. They had to change the name. We wouldn't tolerate it. We would not tolerate it. He said a bad thing once, as far as we know. I'm sure his first car caught one. Yeah, he got caught once. That's right, Brett. That's right. Tom Brennaman can't do football games for, like, big game. He has to do, like, Cincinnati versus Wyoming. Nobody watches because he said a bad thing once. Got caught with those jackasses at that church, put those dresses on and tell you how to treat kids. You lost the right to do it. You can't shut up. You know who's Satan? Them. They're the ones who love it. They believe in it. They throw it in your face all the time. They did horrible things to people for years. And no one ever. Everybody's so afraid to say, you guys did this. You're Satan. Don't you dare talk about AI and what's going to happen to kids. You guys did worse.

[Brett]

Well, the argument on that is not all of them.

[John Holmberg]

There is. Okay, good one. The whole thing stood behind it. You think Papa John's whole board needed to go from one thing? A lot of them had to go. They changed one and they got rid of a few other things. They changed the name, they changed the sign. They had an apostrophe, which doesn't make any sense. They just showed that they were proactively not going to tolerate what just happened. Don't get it. The dudes in dresses can still go on TV and start saying nonsense. Father Fortunato de Nolto. Jackass. Oh, we're here to protect the kids. No, no, no, no, no, no. You guys have.

[Brett]

You'll go there.

[John Holmberg]

You should have to tell everybody you live in the neighborhood. I like to put big red dresses on and wander around and talk to the youth. All right. No. Oh, it drove me crazy. Like using children appeals to them because it's a form of power being exercised over the innocent. And that's who we're here to protect. That's new AI that just told me they're scared of AI exposing them because they're already putting it out there going, oh, this is a bad. Don't pay attention to that. Anything bad comes out. It's Satan. You hear about us on there. It's just Satan. Oh, it drove me bananas. That would. Drove me nuts. I love.

[Brett]

Would you feel any better that it was a cardinal or that got busted for going to a brothel numerous times?

[John Holmberg]

Did that happen?

[Brett]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

No, they're horrible. They're horrible little weirdos, kids.

[Brett]

It was a brothel.

[John Holmberg]

That's right. Yeah. They're horrible little weirdos in dresses that wander around and do this. And they're just revered because they've. Over years they've been told to be any other per. Any person goes up on a senate floor or on TV and starts talking about how they're worried about Thor, like we're worried about Zeus coming, like, this is pretty bad. Or if that. The weather that's coming our way. Well, Poseidon's pretty angry at us, right? You'd laugh him out of the room. Quit with your magic man wrecking everything. He's not sitting there waiting for AI. But it was a big deal. Something, something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] you know, when you're looking for your fix of comedy here in the Valley, we have three amazing clubs that feature some of the best comedians in the world. Up on the north end of town, you can visit the beautiful Desert Ridge EMP improv Downtown in Cityscape, you've got Stand Up Live and Eastside. Right there in the heart of asu, it's the legendary Tempe Improv. Plenty of entertainment for you and your guests and you can even grab some food and drink. So see why the Valley is a comedy destination and get your tickets by going to desertridgeimprov.com, standuplive.com and tempeimprov.com come on down to the Ranch House Grill. Comfort food is your next meal. Pork, chili verde, chicken fried steak. Ranch House knows you'll think it's great. Are you ready for the best breakfast in Phoenix? Ranch House Grill has been voted best breakfast four years in a row. We're famous for our chicken fried steak, pork chili verde and large portions. Located in the heart of Arcadia. Join us for breakfast or lunch seven days a week, 6am to 2pm We're a family restaurant with a small town atmosphere serving southwestern comfort food for 18 years. Come on down to the Ranch House Grill for the best breakfast in Phoenix at 56th street and Thomas Road. Holmberg's morning sickness. And I want to talk to you about something that's very personal. Your body. Remember, it's your body and no one should touch you in a way that you feel is wrong. I'll get anybody who cares tries it.

[Brett]

It's not that easy, Orko. It's hard for a young person to

[John Holmberg]

admit that he or she has been touched in a bad way. If you've been touched that way, don't be ashamed. Tell someone you trust, like your parents, your doctor, your teacher or counselor, or your minister or rabbi. No, Right.

[Brett]

Oro.

[John Holmberg]

Right on. Yeah. Isn't that great? Priest? You sit. Yeah, yeah. You sit through an episode of he man, you know, solving all the problems of Skeletor and then they hit you at the end with that one. One of my favorite things about the 80s was their blatant handling of you're probably gonna get fingered by somebody. And here's what Dudley and Arnold would do about that episode. He just sent me a clip of that. I just got that, which made me think about. It was the great episode of Diff'rent Strokes that I'd forgotten because the guy sent me the thing before it aired. Mr. Drummond came on and said, tonight's episode, it's a doozy like, huh? The comedy of Arnold and Willis and Mr. Drummond and Dudley and the Gooch. Yeah. Tonight we introduce a new character. And I'll be honest with you, I don't know what the writers were thinking. But we filmed it and we're gonna, we're gonna run it. Dudley gets raped. Enjoy the comedy of the different.

[Brett]

Just remember, this is an actor.

[John Holmberg]

Here's the best part about Dudley getting raped. Here's the best part about the 80s in general. We never, we, we never hung on to anything. We watched Dudley get raped on different strokes on a Tuesday at 8:30 and the next Tuesday and the following Tuesdays from there on was never mentioned again. Dudley showed up in Arnold's house a couple days later and not one person said, how are you, Dudley? You doing all right? Since you know the bike guy raped you on that one episode. Yeah, he's like, nah, I don't like. I don't like riding bikes anymore. For two reasons. Mr. Carlson wasn't. Yeah, and it was the big guy from WKRP raped Dudley, showed him some dirty cartoons. Arnold was wise to it and left. And he left his, you know, his buddy behind, so to speak. Every man for himself. That's what happened. And then a week later, they were fighting the Gooch over cigarettes that weren't theirs. It was great. They never talked about it again.

[Brett]

Didn't the big guy chill away for clean and closed, too, after the fact?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah, he was the Maytag man. Oh, I thought he meant on the show. Like, I remember him buying. Oh, yeah. You know, he was the.

[Brett]

The.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, the next. The second guy. Yeah. Who's the board may tag man. And he was also the Irish father of Joanna Kearns on Growing Pains. He was Maggie's dad. They'd come over every once in a while in the rv and they would argue with bad Irish accents with Ellen Thicke in the gang. But on his resume. Gordon Jump, guy who raped Dudley. It was a sitcom. They tackled those subjects like we wanted them to. We didn't.

[Brett]

You think we can get Gordon Jump to do this role? Oh, yeah, There's a good chance.

[John Holmberg]

Throw the script down on the showrunner's desk and go, you're gonna love. This is a whopper. In the end, Dudley gets raped. Like, what? And, you know, they had a debate on, like, maybe Arnold should be the one that gets raped. Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We can't have. Gary Coleman is a. He's a treasure. Rape his friend. We can't have. The American public won't accept that. We gotta rape the friend. You can't. What's the matter with you?

[Brett]

More powerful that he dodged the.

[John Holmberg]

Google it. If you don't know what we're talking about, Google Dudley gets raped. That's one you can throw. That'll probably just come right up pops right up. You get all the. You'll get the full 22 minutes. You can also Google very special Different Strokes, the bike shop. Gordon Jump on Different Strokes and you will watch TV at its finest. Back in the 80s, when right in the middle of, like, family TV, they're

[Brett]

like, hey, watch this.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna be blown away. There's laughs. Like the bike shop guy, you know, they kept it. You know, the rule in sitcoms is one joke per. Per minute, which is a joke. A page. They stayed pretty True to it. Till the rape. He was grooming and he was fun. He was fun. He had a bike store. He had a back room with, you know, little liquor and like video games. Well, he had video, a couple games, but he had some cool cartoons that no one had ever seen where the mice have sex. And Arnold points out that the they were taking their clothes off and then they started to do stuff. And Arnold, you see Arnold, the second, he's like, why still? What the huh? Dudley's all in. And then Arnold's like, I'm getting the hell out of here. See ya. And Dudley's like, I'm gonna stay. And then the bike shop guy puts his arm around Dudley. And that was kind of their way of saying he's gonna Dudley. And he did get something. Something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] it's John Holmberg here from the morning sickness to tell you about the Core Institute. People who met me found out that I've had four major operations in the last four years. They're blown away. I've had both shoulders replaced and both hips repl because I was an absolute disaster before my surgeries. I was in pain. Now no one knows I've had any issues. People who hear multiple surgeries assume they'll never be the same again. That's just not true. I'm better than I've been in 20 years. Stop quitting the things you love and get back to being the pain free you you love. The Core Institute.com it's John Holmberg here from the morning Cygnus and I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my [e-mail] youm've heard me mention Kevin Costner, Trey McBride, other countless celebrities and pro athletes and how they chose lifted trucks. But that doesn't mean it's only for actors and pro athlet. It's for all of you. Everybody who loves a cool adventure. So if you're a huge celebrity like me or just an average Joe who wants the best truck available, head on over to lifted trucks. They live up to being the number one custom truck dealer for over 30 years. 10,000 five star reviews can't be wrong. Lifted trucks.com work hard, play hard, drive harder. Holmberg's morning sickness I will tell you this. I am very upset. Speaking of the I have discovered in one story, Brett, that this generation is. We already knew that they were soft, that this upcoming group of kids is sort of useless. I think going forward they live at home till they're 30, they're lazy, they don't have social skills. They're, you know, you find a. You find somebody who is ambitious and they work hard and it shows. Like, they. They stand out because nobody. Like, they're. They're surrounded by losers. Here's a fun story that proves it. Headline says party mom allegedly held drunken parties for teens, gave them some alcohol, and was not discouraging sex acts. Thirteen kids came forward. What the kind of generation is this? I. We prayed for a house like that. And my parents would say, are their parents home? Like, yep, all right, that's fine. And they kept them from driving. These kids turned in this perfectly cool mom who was like, letting them do this stuff. We had a house where it was like, you can drink at Joe's because his parents will let us drink, but we can't leave. And there was a. It was a. I mean, guitar. They don't get fingered. Like, what was going on in that house? There was so many. The pianos don't get fingered. Like, what was happening in Joe's basement? And everybody was safe.

[Brett]

Is this the one where, you know, 11 year old Teddy was curled up next to a vodka bo? No.

[John Holmberg]

They always pick the outlier. I know there's a whole bunch of cool kids doing cool things, and then one kid comes in. But 13 of them turned everybody in. Nobody was getting like, you know, no. Adults were doing terrible things to the kids. The mom was just there going, look, you're gonna do this on your own?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You're gonna just be here. I'm just. Just do it here. If you start having sex and stuff, let's have condoms. They're available. It's like, oh, my God. And it wasn't the parents that found out. My parents would have been like, where are you going? To Joe's this weekend. All right, good. They, like, they liked that, these uncool kids. Her name is Shannon o'. Connor. She's a hero. Accused of buying and providing alcohol, including vodka and fireball, for teens in Los Gatos, California. She allegedly handed out condoms to the minors. Uh, she warned them, let's not talk about these things. I can get in trouble, but I'm doing you guys a favor. This is a sex house for you. Go crazy. Clean up after yourselves. The parties were between June of 2020, during COVID and May of 2021. Giving kids stuff to do. We were all bored. 20 adults and 41 witnesses says that she. She did all the stuff for the kid. They're throwing her in jail. This was the this. In our day, Brett was the house of cool. His parents will let you do stuff like that now. You couldn't just knock on the door and go, I'd like to have sex here, but she'd have a party on Friday and keep it safe. Yeah, well, she's not allowed to have hair dye. She was blonde when she was normal. Brett just found a picture of her in court. First thing they do, she looked better then. First thing they do is take away all your hair care. Jodi Arias. Remember, she was blonde, and like a month later, she wasn't. She's all natural. She doesn't look good, but she's been in jail for a while there, Brett. She's still the coolest mom in the world. Now, you didn't have to partake. There's the. There's the r. Take me back to my friend Joe's house, right? And Joe's like a superstar cop now. Joe and his family were like, look, if you guys are going to drink, do it here. If you're going to be stupid, do it here. Have your little parties here. Our basement. We can't hear you upstairs. So if you didn't like it, you didn't have to stay. There were plenty of people who are like, I'm going to go home. I don't like this. But nobody ever ratted them out and wrecked it for everyone else. It stayed in house. And the good. These kids showed up and were like, oh, they're allowing alcohol tell on them and wrecked it for everybody. Good, then don't go. Then go home and don't come back. This generation rats out the cool mom. They let us drink. Could you ever imagine, like, going over to let's go to Brett Fesley's house? I'm like, brett's parents will let us have some sambuca. I don't even. It's terrible. But we're gonna have shots with them, and then they make us stay here. It's fine. And nothing bad happened. We're throwing up in pots and pans in Joe's house all the time. We go get the pots and pans. Makes me sick that these people cooked with that. But there was constant puking, and then. But one kid would come. I don't think this is right. Well, you're not invited anymore. Yeah, go home, Dudley. You would never. Exactly. You would never tell on Brett's parents for having, you know, hey, this is a cool kid party. I remember Joe's dad asking once. He's like, who's that one guy? Girl, that Was in here. Was. And he was so proud of his son for making out with her down in the basement. Cool people. You don't turn these people in, and you turn in the people who. The parents touching the kids.

[Brett]

What? I mean, the drinking's one thing, but then if you said, you know, you found out your kids going over to a house, and the parents were like, yeah, you can. You can drink all you want. And they also hand out condoms.

[John Holmberg]

They're available. It's a party. Yeah. Would you rather have.

[Brett]

I don't think too many people, too many parents would go, yeah, I want my kids.

[John Holmberg]

Of course. Not now change. Because the kids suck now. Let alone back in the day. That was a good thing. Okay. She's providing. Most likely you weren't gonna have sex because there's an adult around.

[Brett]

Especially if it was a. You know, this sounds like a single mom.

[John Holmberg]

Don't know. But what I do know is single

[Brett]

dad doing that with the kids.

[John Holmberg]

It's a garbage system of pussified children. It used to be a cool thing to go to a party and have alcohol. And the adults are like, we're watching you. We're keeping an eye on you here. But you're allowed to do this because you're going to do it without us, and that's going to cause more trouble.

[Brett]

That's the other thing.

[John Holmberg]

That's too.

[Brett]

Because it's the risk of it. The kids are coming over the. To, you know, and you're the house. It's like, oh, yeah, kids. I want my kid. If he's drinking, I want him drinking at my house. And friends are coming over. They can drink at my house.

[John Holmberg]

But when they leave, you can't let them go. That's the point of the adults. But guess what? If an adult's there or not, if you get drunk at some kid's house and drive off and kill them, you're still responsible, so at least be there. Right? So if there's kids.

[Brett]

Well, the adultery.

[John Holmberg]

Because otherwise they go to parties without parents there and they act stupid. In. In. In the 80s, never in the 80s ever was there a parent on the news saying, yeah, we had a party and I was there and we watched it. They're like, yeah, of course I was supervising. It's called chaperone now. They tattle on them. They're a little. You've raised them. Raised a group of rats. I'm with Brett on this one. If you're a kid and you got to go to a lady's house and she provided alcohol in A safe place. And you told on her, you son of a bitch. That's the worst thing you can do as a kid. Then she had alcohol available to all the children, and some of the kids were fingering each other. I told on her. Oh, you wrecked it for all the cool kids. Now they have to go hide. I hope those kids were ostracized in high school. I hope when they went back in, it's like, you, mother, we know you ratted on us, you little nerd, just because you can't get laid. I just thought it was. I just thought it was awkward and wrong that there was alcohol and teen sex. Well, there's going to be alcohol and teen sex everywhere. We were getting away with it, you prick. Now we got to find it on our own, you know, and then they're going to start going and getting tickets and getting underage consumption. But they were. They were covered. It was a safe space. Isn't that what this generation's constantly looking for?

[Brett]

Mom, our party house was busted.

[John Holmberg]

You know where the party house was? Nobody talked about it. And the worst one was that father Dale over there had two party houses at Dobbs, and he had kids over and that, you know, turned a blind eye to an awful lot of stuff. Right there, right off of Guadalupe. You can see it from the street. Yeah, still there. Teenagers dancing, video games in the garage, the guy in a dress surrounded by hundreds of teenagers. Nobody said a thing. You don't tell on the cool mom. Now she's got to go to jail. Well, I think she's a hero. I think she's as good as any of those people that volunteered to put that E in their window. This is a. This is a safe place. But one nerd kid ratting them out. There's something, something. Check out H's Morning Sickness podcast at 98kupd.com hey, it's John Holmberg here for Life Changer Loans. Whether you're buying a home, trying to refinance or improve things financially, you got to focus on one thing. Clarity. You don't have to do it the old way. Life Changer Loan is here to help. Call my friend Shane o' Grady at Life Changer Loan and see if it's for you. Good credit, good with money. There is more than just the old fashioned bank loan. And if you want to see what's possible financially in your life that's different than what you're doing now, [e-mail] Life Changer Loan. It's not magic, it's just Math. John Holberg here from the morning sickness. And I am thrilled to shill away from my friends at Turf Monsters. Turf Monsters doesn't just do turf either. They design everything about how you want to live. Sports, golf, pets, entertainment, pergolas, pool stuff, whatever you want. And the quality is incredible. It looks real. That grass. It drains perfectly. There's basically no maintenance, no mud, no grass. A backyard you actually enjoy. If you thought about upgrading your outdoor space, start right [e-mail] make your backyard the best room in the house. Check it out. Turfmonstersaz.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. Or they'll all just have. Oh, man. I saw a thing about AI robots this weekend. I could not tell that the woman wasn't real and it wasn't on the screen. She's like a. She's like a tangible robot you can buy. She's like $350,000, but she's worth it. Oh, you know what? To a lot of dudes, it is. That's cheaper than what you end up spending to get rid of one. And man, oh, man. Move. They kept her shell skinless, so they had the rope. But her head was spectacular. And she leans forward and gives a guy a kiss. And this little Asian dude's like. You can tell he's about to just all over himself. Gee, that was great. We put skin on that. He's awesome. But they said her boobs were, like, lit up blue. And, like, you can see all the stuff inside her, and she's moving real fluid. And like, we are. We are getting real close. And I'm saying right now, young ladies, shape up. Don't be like your moms. There is active science trying to replace you. You think AI is coming for your job? They're coming for a whole gender for 350, 000. You can just throw it away. Lifetime. It's guaranteed forever.

[Brett]

And it.

[John Holmberg]

You can. It never gets mad. No problem upgrading, no periods, no menopause. Like that lady got mad at us last week.

[Brett]

I get a battery or a new model.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, right. Yeah, you just go to Pep Boys and reload her with whatever juice she needs. But can you put her on the charger? No worrying about vacations. Come on. Because it's. Why'd you take her on vacation? Whatever. Just leave her. Yeah, I'm going on vacation. I'm not spending money on your ticket. Well, that's what I'm saying. You have to worry about when I can't do it. Yeah, of course, because I planned a vacation. Now it's pretty awesome, Brad. But that little Asian dude, I thought he was going to just. Right in his drawers because the thing just goes, oh, we are gonna make this happen in my lifetime. We are five years away. I saw that robot dancing the other day. They can make it dance. That was creepy. It's moving like us. It's moving just like us. And imagine it can do Stu, because it doesn't have to be like bones or anything. It can do stuff you can't even fathom yet. Meanwhile, you got women out there going, well, if you don't buy me things, I'm not interested. Oh, baby, your days are numbered. You're basically like a blacksmith. You're going out of business. TikTok better stop with the attitude, because they're inventing better use. And I love it. I talked to a girl about this a while ago, and she goes, well, they'll just. Just do it for men, too. Okay, sister? You're not gonna like the man robots. It doesn't have a job. It's not gonna buy you stuff. It's. You got a problem. The future is not good for you if you keep it up.

[Brett]

I mean, he'll listen better, maybe he'll

[John Holmberg]

absorb your information, but he's gonna listen to you about how real men are gone. And then you ride his robotic ass. Maybe you get a little something out of it. But he still. Then you still gotta get your ass up the next day, and that lazy robot's gonna be sitting in a chair going, I'll see you. Where'd you come home? I will bang you when you arrive at the house. And they're not going to work hard on the male ones. Those things are going to be like Rosie from the jets and just a bucket rolling around on wheels. The male robots suck. Yeah, because we're not building those.

[Brett]

All they want is the bust.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't see a lot of female scientists breaking out technology to build the male robot. Sure, there'll be a small group of men that will build those, but for the most part, this is a female replacement program. I'm not saying I'm for it, but I'm watching it happen. And if you still think that, you get flowers and dinner and all this other stuff, or else. If you still use your vagina as currency. Oh, we talked about it a few weeks ago. You better get a tight five, lady. You better start getting a little bit of a personality. That's interesting. Sell your stock in ftd. The flower companies are gonna be out of business. Oh, they're Going. They're gone because you'll program your girl. The flowers are stupid and for dumb girls. Exactly. Totally agree there. Vanessa the robot. All I want to do is have sex all day. Do you learn how to cook? Yes. Program cooking. Okay. God damn it. I'm gonna come in. I can't have sex with you right now because I'm crying so hard. I'm gonna screw up your internal mechanisms.

[Brett]

Just bring her in a stick.

[John Holmberg]

I love the stick you gave me. You never take me anywhere. We never go on vacation. I'll take. What would a robot never say for a thousand. Alex? It was weird. And I will say that is weird. But like, if they skin the girl and that sounded bad. They had skin to the girl. Yeah. If they added skin to her, you wouldn't have known she wasn't human the way she was moving. And she is a one of one right now. And I mean, she's like, say it's

[Brett]

less than five years.

[John Holmberg]

She. Oh, we're close. She was reaching for like, I'll do it. Nobody can see me. She was. She had a cup and she just kind of moved forward a little. And that was awkward. And then she just did the. And I'm like, oh, my God. That I wouldn't know. Like, I would just say that maybe she had like a twitch and she moved a little weird. And then when she. But you could see that she's a robot. If they put skin and clothes on her, you wouldn't know. You would not know. Brady. I think you're right about five years. We're going to be like, they're going to start rolling those out and that's the earliest, worst version. Ladies, I'm telling you. You worry about AI coming for lawyers jobs and they're coming for you. Just think, you can build your own dua lipa.

[Brett]

Then so long, he's gone.

[John Holmberg]

And women will say, we'll just build the guys from heated rivalry. All right? They ain't got jobs. The big thing you like about us goes away. You can have sex. Robot. We don't care. It's called dildos. We still are they paying the bills. He's my Bridgerton. I have my own job. Right. You're gonna have to work hard. This is dumb. You're not seeing the writing on the wall here. You no longer have leverage. You've been using this thing as leverage for a long time. The Japs invented. They replaced your leverage with better leverage. Like, you gotta figure type five good stories. Be fun. Stop getting mad. Lick the tip. Play with the Balls for somebody. People like Brady reach back there and fiddle the B hole to the land. Quit telling us we're doing stuff wrong, because the robots won't. Neither will the man. Robots still don't have a job. Did it? Yeah. There'll be no more like.

[Brett]

Okay.

[John Holmberg]

Would you. Matt. Why wouldn't. Is that all you want from us?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We don't want the hassle. Yeah. If we could eliminate the hassle for all the good stuff. I think we do it. I think we do it. Plus, when, like, it starts liking us and stuff, you just shut it down. You lob its head off. You O.J. that thing. Nobody. There's no law against that. You. Finally. It would cure domestic violence. He's not. You buy one robot, it would drop. Yeah. You buy one robot for that, you beat up that one, and then the other one is for sure. If you've got. If you've got a. If you got a hankering for, you know, dv.

[Brett]

If it's a generational thing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you get, like, the older guy. Why you. And he smacks the other one across the mouth. You. Yeah, you get like one of those. You know, I've got one at the house. Not a robot. One of those punch bobs. Just a half a body of a man, and you can fight it. It's basically. If you looked at it from a distance, it would look like. I hate amputees because I stand in that room and just pound on this armless male figure and he's like, there's no defending. Looks terrible. What am I training for? Hitting a man with no arms? Just relentlessly.

[Brett]

Ladies.

[John Holmberg]

I'm saying spice it up. Because what I just said or what I just saw. Good luck, ladies. Yeah. They're not coming for the jobs. They're coming for a whole gender. And there's no ladies out there in some science camp inventing cool man robots. You know who's building those man robots? Those same Jap men. And they're not in a hurry to do that. There's something. Something. Check out Homework's morning sickness podcast at 98kupd.

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[John Holmberg]

Fishertools.com the Renaissance Festival is back. Weekends now through March 29th. Be ready to have a great time. Amazing adventure awaits the entire family. New shows, shopping, jousting, nights, non stop feasting. Leave your cares behind. Happiness reigns at the Renaissance Festival. It's fun and affordable. Visit now through March 29th. Discount tickets available at Bash's and Food City or online at arizona.renfestinfo.com Presented by Delta Airlines, Bashers, Food City, Pepsi, Budweiser and Guinness. Holmberg's morning sickness.

[Brett]

We got an inmate in Florida. He's facing new charges after he snuck away from a work assignment to get it on inside of a portable a

[John Holmberg]

porta John with another prisoner. Yeah.

[Brett]

Former prisoner.

[John Holmberg]

Huh.

[Brett]

Indian River County Jail is in Vero Beach, Florida.

[John Holmberg]

Timeout. Why is a former prisoner at a prison?

[Brett]

So this guy was on a work dude, he was off. Off site from the prison. Oh, he's working at a vent, picking up trash.

[Commercial Announcer]

Like a promo event.

[Brett]

Like

[John Holmberg]

that's allowed, like just hanging banners. Come see our prison. You just go to like the. The ostrich festival. They hire prisoners.

[Brett]

He's in a crew of low level inmates called trustees. They get to work events. And so this 35 year old Hartley Sanchez, who was serving food until he snuck off mid shift. Security cameras caught him on video talking to two women near a bank of porta potties. Then one of the women went into the porta potty and after checking if the coast was clear, he joined. Oh, it turned out she was a former inmate. It's not clear how she knew Hartley before their encounter.

[John Holmberg]

Not at his job.

[Brett]

It was just a fling. But he was questioned about it. Freely admitted that, yeah, we were there to get it on. Oh, she is not in trouble. But Hartley is.

[John Holmberg]

She's not in trouble with the law, Brady, but literally in life, she's in trouble because the decision she made that day is the worst I've ever heard.

[Brett]

He's been in jail awaiting trial for theft and drug possession. Now he's facing charges of attempting to escape.

[John Holmberg]

She had sex in a porta john with a prisoner at a barbecue.

[Brett]

He's looking at tacking on another 15 years.

[John Holmberg]

He knew it. He knew it. Think of the class involved in a woman that says, well, he ain't getting out anytime soon, but I like him, so I'm gonna do it over everybody else's poop.

[Brett]

Well, here's the woman he did you.

[John Holmberg]

You said it was at a barbecue. Oh, she's It's Rachel Maddow.

[Brett]

Oh, wow.

[John Holmberg]

Do you know what a Porta John is at a barbecue festival?

[Brett]

Well, a lot of people found out this past weekend because that Chandler barbecue is happening. So it's got to be smelly.

[John Holmberg]

I would think so.

[Brett]

A little rich.

[John Holmberg]

I think I'm gonna run with your slight assessment of that.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah, don't forget we had a guy who.

[John Holmberg]

Of course Patty's day. I don't care about that.

[Brett]

Plenty of deep blue.

[John Holmberg]

They were at least free citizens with votes. This, this guy is a jailbird. And she. And he wooed her. Larry, get on the ball. He got laid at a barbecue festival even though he's a prisoner. What kind of lines is he running that makes her go. I don't care about any of that. Just bend me over this toilet.

[Brett]

That dude serving food is high.

[John Holmberg]

He's hot. He's gonna be in jail for a long time. He's got a. He's got a record. It can't be that bad. They wouldn't let him work the barbecue festival. I'm gonna over everybody else's feces.

[Brett]

Let me meet that trustee.

[John Holmberg]

I like to be face down in the Porta John toilet. Just look at all that mess while I'm getting aroused back there. Where else can you look? You're looking in the hole at all that. When I pee in a Porta John, I don't look down. Oh no, that's. It's lasting. She managed to self lubricate in one of those.

[Brett]

He had her looking down.

[John Holmberg]

Do we have a future? Well, I'm gonna be in jail for like a decade. I still gonna wait on you. You see what she looked like? He was probably looking down too. Look, I. Yeah, the smell of the Porta John was probably better than that thing. Yeah, well, what kind of parents did you have? Were they wolves? You made that? I don't want to bang in the Port of John. I got a little class left. I'll screw it. Let's do this. There's zero dignity at all.

[Commercial Announcer]

I'll add that to my parent bingo card. I don't ever want to read a headline.

[John Holmberg]

No, no.

[Commercial Announcer]

See Alex, page Alex.

[John Holmberg]

Or have Alex tell you one Thanksgiving

[Brett]

for Hey dad, Remember a trustee in

[John Holmberg]

Florida that there may be nothing worse than the push pull visual of the bottom of a Porta John toilet as your head goes over it top and bottom. And you know you're gonna at one point see something in there and just go what in the hell is that? Are you done yet? It's kind of hard to finish the smell and all.

[Brett]

You think they went to the hand sanitizer station afterwards out front?

[John Holmberg]

No, I don't think those people inside. I don't think those people know what that used it for.

[Brett]

Lube.

[John Holmberg]

They don't know what that is. Burns. Yeah. Okay. Why you're using a stingy as? It's in the bucket here. There's a ky bucket they keep in the Porta Johns for us classy folk. If you've had sex in a Porta John, you're so. You're like human aids. Like, that's just gross. You're just gross as a dude. It's different as a woman. Come on, you can't come out of that without your game. First off, it's not a good story for a lady. She's not going to sit at Postinas. I ever tell you ladies about the time I did that prisoner in the Porta John? Like, you're not. You've got no friends if you're a Porta John. You're always a Porta John whore. You can't. You can't kiss your kids good night,

[Brett]

Port John baby.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, well, if you got pregnant in a Porta John, hang yourself with the umbilical cord.

[Brett]

That's my boy Blue.

[John Holmberg]

Because that's the color he was when I dropped him into the trough. There's something. Something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] get that Amex Gold Card ready. I'm too tired to cook. We feeling Five Guys or the Cheesecake Factory? Both earn up to $120 a year in statement credits of participating partners up to $10 each month when you pay with the AMEX Gold Card. Learn [e-mail] Explore Gold enrollment required terms apply Stitch Fix Shopping is hard. Let's talk about it. I don't have time to shop, so I buy all my clothes where I buy my seafood.

[Brett]

I just want someone to tell me what shirt goes with what pants.

[John Holmberg]

I just want jeans that fit. Stitch Fix makes shopping easy. Just show your size, style, and budget, and your stylist sends personalized looks right to your door. No subscription required, plus free shipping and returns. Man, that was easy. I look good. Stitch Fix Online Personal styling for everyone. Take your style quiz today@stitch fix.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness. This one says, dear Brady, I'm thinking about quitting my religion. I'm a Mormon, and I honestly don't. I don't think any of it's real. It's a series of Contradictions. And as a person who considers themselves smart, I can't help but think I'm insulting my own intelligence by throwing out all the obvious silliness. But it's just in case. However I was raised in it. I am scared. Talk me into staying or going. Heather,

[Brett]

you're grown ass woman.

[John Holmberg]

Well now you're not breaking up with her. Why are you using? No, no, no.

[Brett]

It's her. It's earth choice.

[John Holmberg]

No, you don't take the same character and move it to the next story.

[Brett]

So I think I tell her that she can, you know, if she doesn't want to follow any further. No need to, you know, flame throw your way out. You can.

[John Holmberg]

You're already out.

[Brett]

It's pretty much. It's okay. I know a couple of families that that or like it just said the other day, we're down to two.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Two of the family are left the Internet or are still in the church but everyone else is gone.

[John Holmberg]

I hate to break it to you.

[Brett]

It happens in all this you're already

[John Holmberg]

out by emailing and saying I think it's all silly. Oh, you're not a believer.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

People don't understand what the question believing in something is.

[Brett]

It might be tougher if you are. If your 10 has been a pretty good chunk. They don't let you leave so much

[John Holmberg]

like if all the money.

[Brett]

Tithing. The tithing?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. What do you mean they don't let you leave?

[Brett]

If it's pretty big on the tithing. They don't. You'll get impacted. They can also take a lot of business away from you. Find out.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Brett]

Oh, you're leaving. Okay, well. So there's a lot of your business.

[John Holmberg]

If you're running a business. What if she just has a job?

[Brett]

I'm just telling you those are factors that come in. Other than that.

[John Holmberg]

That sounds Copy it.

[Brett]

Don't be afraid.

[John Holmberg]

What a lovely caring endeavor that whole religion is that you've been blackmailed into believing. Or else.

[Brett]

It's not the only one. Any donor from whatever the. Sure.

[John Holmberg]

But we're talking about this right now. Yeah. The or else factor of religion shouldn't exist. But it's does. Yeah.

[Brett]

We have a recommended fee for getting married.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. He created a. He loves you very much. Very, very much. More than anything. He loves you and he created hellfire and a forever torment if you don't love him back properly. So that's how much he loves you. I know. I feel that way about Brady. I love you, Brady. I think you're wonderful. But if you even look at me sideways, I'm gonna burn you. I'm gonna burn you forever. That's how much I love you. I'll light you on fire for the rest of eternity if you just don't worship me properly. That's because I care. You're already out. Look up. Look up. The word theism means you believe in something. And if you're saying I'm not sure I buy it, you don't believe it. It, people, they don't, you know, Nobody knows what it is not.

[Brett]

But if you don't like somebody, you're not hanging around them. So like, okay, if you don't like me, then that's fine. I don't like you.

[John Holmberg]

What are you talking about?

[Brett]

If you like, why would you. If God you saying, oh, he loves

[John Holmberg]

you, but if you don't watch him,

[Brett]

you love somebody and they don't love you back. Are you hanging around them?

[John Holmberg]

Tell me right now. He invented this place knowing that most of us wouldn't make it. And he invented a place to torment us for eternity if we don't worship properly. That's a love. That's a love. I can't.

[Brett]

But at the end, I think every knee bows.

[John Holmberg]

If you'd show up. What's with the hide and seek? Don't hide and seek.

[Brett]

I don't know, it's a confusing book because it's terrible.

[John Holmberg]

It's a terrible book. And basically I discovered that this weekend Jesus is essentially just an author at a never ending book signing. Because I heard some guy say, well, that's the day before my, my beloved met Jesus. And like he's at the door just going, hi, thanks for coming next. I'm Jesus, nice to meet you, thanks for coming. Next Thursday. It never ends. Then you just look down the hall. How long is this line? Never. Oh, a fetus. Hi, fetus. Yeah. No, your mom was wrong. It was at conception. Off you go. Thanks for coming. None of it makes sense. So if you're discovering that it doesn't make sense for you, you already don't believe. So you've already left your religion. Have a backbone. Take a position. The other thing you're talking about is called Pascal's Wager. Or you just believe a religion just in case. We've eliminated in time over 9,000 different gods. Through science and proof, we're getting down to the last three. We're close people. We're real close.

[Brett]

They're hanging tough.

[John Holmberg]

They're hanging tough, but not that tough. They're hanging. There's 2 billion Muslims that believe. All the people who don't believe like them are going to the hell that they invented. Vice versa. Vice versa doesn't sound like a loving situation to me. It's something. Something. Check out Homework's Morning Sickness podcast at 98kupd.com Holmberg's Morning Sickness.

[Brett]

A new survey found the songs, TV shows and movies that turn Americans on.

[John Holmberg]

Heated rivalry.

[Brett]

They surge. They surveyed 2, 000 people.

[John Holmberg]

What'd you say, Bridgerton? Oh, something else.

[Brett]

So here the songs that their favorite Bedroom songs. Oh, Pony, Genuine. S M, Rihanna Sexy. Let's Get It On. Marvin Gaye. All of you. John Legend, Flow. Jamie Foxx. Birthday Sex. Not sure if I'm familiar with that one.

[John Holmberg]

You're not. That's a good one. You're not familiar with the song or the actual act?

[Brett]

Both.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They wrote a song about some unicorn. Earned it the weekend you got birthday sex. Oh, yeah. It's your birthday, so I know you want to ride out. You never heard this? No. You haven't. Don't fake it. Don't. Don't.

[Commercial Announcer]

Kirby has as.

[Brett]

Don't tell him that I like it.

[John Holmberg]

You do not really. Yeah.

[Commercial Announcer]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Just be honest.

[Brett]

Just.

[John Holmberg]

It's not all right for you.

[Brett]

Oh, yeah.

[Commercial Announcer]

Pounding in the aviator on the way home.

[John Holmberg]

It is not now. Broom had her birthday sex on the way home. So I do like that political chatter. Does he talk at all about the horror?

[Brett]

Earned it the weekend. I'll make love to you boys. To men. Perfect. Ed Sheeran and Red Bone.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. No, not that one. Oh, no.

[Brett]

The most popular steamy shows. Sex in the city got 22%. Game of Thrones 18.

[John Holmberg]

What was steamy about Sex in the City? Is women talking about sex. Sex occasionally. That the. The would nail one of them.

[Brett]

Vampire Diaries 15.

[John Holmberg]

Car. I'm gonna have sex with him.

[Brett]

Orange is the new black 15. Yuck. True blood 14.

[Commercial Announcer]

That was naked. Naked all the time in True Blood.

[John Holmberg]

That heated rivalism. He's talking to Ian Schwartz about that? Yeah, it's a very. It gets me hard as a rock. But Schwartz is like, these women in their 40s that love this heated rival won't shut up about it. They all come to us like it's new to us. And I'm like, that's true. And he goes, he's got Gina over at work. And she's like, ian, did you watch this weekend? He goes, what?

[Brett]

I live it.

[John Holmberg]

Why do I have to watch this? And she's like, oh, this guy did this and this guy did that, and he's like he said. It's. It's the 40 year old white woman's way of saying I've got gay friends. Yes, I have a black friend. Listen, I'll explain him to you.

[Brett]

I like birthday sex.

[John Holmberg]

They run up to gays and explain a gay show to them. We get it it and then. But the chemistry. Yeah, it's called love. Like I. Yeah, we have that in real life. I've never seen it before. Right.

[Brett]

As for movies, Dirty Dancing 41 top the list. Pretty Woman 39. Titanic 38. Fifty Shades of Gray.

[John Holmberg]

That's the one 33 really wanted to talk about. Arizona's most powerful rock radio station, he said. Fully erased. If someone in your home has asthma, COPD or another lung disease, the American Lung Association's Oregon Clean Air at Home program can help. Eligible households will receive free cleaning supplies up to $300 worth to improve indoor air quality. You can get mops, mattress and pillow covers, fire safety supplies and even an air cleaner, vacuum or dehumidifier. Some homes may also receive free repair services like mold removal or H vac maintenance. Poor indoor air quality can make symptoms worse. Learn more and [e-mail] or home visit day or night. VRBoCare is here 24? 7 to help make every part of your stay seamless. If anything comes up or you simply need a little guidance, support is ready whenever you reach out. From the moment you book to the moment you head home. We're here to help things run smoothly because a great trip starts with the right support. And hey, a good playlist doesn't hurt either.