03-09-26 - Remembering The Special Episode Of Diffrent Strokes w/Dudley - 13 Kids Rat On Mom Who Allowed Teens To Drink At Her House To Be Safe - Latest Advances In AI Robots Could Replace Women and Have John Wanting To Take Advantage Of Both Kinds Se...

Summary

Holmberg's Morning Sickness – March 9, 2026

Episode Summary: Remembering the Special Diffrent Strokes Episode, Generational Change in Party Culture, and the Coming Age of AI Sex Robots

---

Episode Overview

In this candid, irreverent, and often outrageous episode, John Holmberg and the Morning Sickness crew (Brett Vesely, Ellen, and Master Luke) tear into 80s “very special episodes,” critique the current crop of teens for “ratting out the cool party mom,” and giddily debate the incoming wave of AI sex robots and what they might mean for the future of human relationships and gender dynamics. With rapid-fire stories, unfiltered comedy, and hypothetical (often explicit) robot banter, the hosts blend nostalgia, social commentary, and blue humor.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. 80s “Very Special Episodes” and the Lost Art of Subtlety in Sitcoms

Timestamp: 01:17–07:45

• He-Man’s “pure” afterschool messages segue into the infamous “very special episode” era, highlighted by the “bike shop” episode of Diff’rent Strokes where Dudley is sexually assaulted.
  • John: “One of my favorite things about the 80s was their blatant handling of ‘you're probably gonna get fingered by somebody. And here's what Dudley and Arnold would do about that.’” [01:40]
  • Points out the show’s strange lack of follow-up: “Dudley showed up in Arnold's house a couple days later, and not one person said, ‘how are you, Dudley? ... You're doing all right since, you know, the bike guy raped you on that one episode.’” [02:32]
• Cultural disconnect: In the 80s, even the most traumatic sitcom events had zero “long tail,” joked away or forgotten by next week.
  • John: “You got raped. Six days. You got six days to get over that. Next week, we're gonna get you back on the trolley.” [06:42]

Notable Quote:
"You think we can get Gordon Jump to do this role? ... Throw the script down ... you're gonna love. This is a whopper. In the end, Dudley gets raped." – John Holmberg [04:11]

---

2. Generational Change: “Ratting Out the Cool Party Mom”

Timestamp: 08:02–15:49

• News story discussion: Teens in Los Gatos, CA, bust their party-hosting, alcohol-supplying “cool mom” (Shannon O'Connor), who let them drink at her home as a safer alternative during COVID.
  • John: “We prayed for a house like that. ... These kids turned in this perfectly cool mom who was, like, letting them do this stuff.” [09:05]
  • Ellen: “Good, then don't go.” [12:12]
  • Contrasts current “snitch” culture with his generation’s unwritten code: “There was a cool kid code ... These people are kind enough to open the doors and give us this cool spot. Don't disrespect it.” [22:19]
• Moral shift: The hosts bemoan increased tattling, loss of “cool parent sanctuaries,” and the rise of “snitches” over “party loyalty.”
  • John: “If you’re a kid and you got to go to a lady’s house and she provided alcohol in a safe place, and you told on her, you son of a bitch. That’s the worst thing you can do as a kid.” [14:22]
• Emphatic defense: They differentiate “cool parents” (who chaperone) from adults who cross criminal lines; nostalgia for semi-supervised underage drinking as inherently safer.

Notable Quotes:

• "We'd beat him within an inch of his life." – John (referring to anyone who ratted on the group) [24:23]
• "Omerta. Shut the up. This is a cool thing." – John [24:35]

---

3. Reflections on Parenting, Responsibility, and Teenage Social Codes

Timestamp: 19:33–25:48

• Anecdotes about party houses in their youth where parents would chaperone and set rules, notably “you drink, you stay the night.”
• Disdain for current “zero tolerance” and fear-driven policies which criminalize attempts at harm reduction.
  • John: “It was the wise parent that allowed that. You guys got nowhere to go. I’d rather have you here than out screwing around.”
  • John: “I think the kid who told should go to jail just as long as the mom did. 100%.” [25:48]
• Commentary on teenage mob/pack mentality, the value of trust, and how “the code” governed their social scene.

---

4. The Robotic Future: Sex Robots, Gender Dynamics, and the End of Human Leverage

Timestamp: 26:28–44:52

• John describes seeing an incredibly lifelike female AI robot—“It’s $350,000, but she’s worth it”—and launches into a wild, semi-serious riff on the coming “robot revolution.”
  • John: “There is active science trying to replace you. You think AI is coming for your job? They’re coming for a whole gender.” [27:45]
  • Compares the eventual purchase of sex robots to replacing women for “cheaper than divorce,” stirs up debate about male vs. female robots and economic obsolescence.
  • Explores female and male reactions, with the group riffing absurdist scenarios about home life with sex robots (“He’ll take out the trash. Feed the dogs, too.” [44:48])
• Explores hypothetical “robot gender wars,” joking men will build perfect female robots, while women will be disappointed with “deadbeat” male robots.
• Deep-dive into the economics and psychology of human-robot relationships—comedy bits about “programming” robots for cooking or even resentful banter (“You bring. Yes. You bring in a new kid. Is he cool? He's cool. Is he gonna rat us out for this?” [24:34])
• Jokingly discuss the extinction of “slump busters,” the transformation of “the pig” in hookup culture, and possible new market segments like “robot slump busters.”

Notable Quotes:

• “It’s not about the sex. It’s about the power over the robot. That’s what rape is. Look it up. I think John’s trying to come out, and you’re all blocking his moment. No, I am. I—have no boundaries with robots.” – John [57:53]
• “Be fun. Stop getting mad. Lick the tip. Play with the balls ... Quit telling us we’re doing stuff wrong because the robots won’t.” – John [34:19]

---

5. Is It Gay (Or Bestiality) to Have Sex with a Robot?

Timestamp: 47:23–54:54

• Spirited, explicit debate: If you own a male robot and have sex with it, is it gay? Is using a spouse’s toy “gay”? Is it bestiality (or simply “objectophile”) if someone uses a stuffed animal?
• Jokes about “robot rape” (non-consensual acts with robots), boundaries, and property: firm line at not using someone else’s robot.
• The group’s consensus is that “robot loyalty” will become real, and men will actually have more respect for each other's robots than for their wives.

Notable Quotes:

• "You're selling your robot. Is it okay if I buy it?" – Brett [59:54]
• “I think John's trying to come out, and you're all blocking his moment. No, I am. I have no boundaries with robots. I find that to be absolutely fair game.” – John [57:53]

---

6. The Future: Utopian or Dystopian?

Timestamp: 62:18–63:44

• John imagines a 2028 where “you all have your own sex robots ... And under my watch, I brought you the Olympics. Twice. Sex robots. Great stuff.”
• Dismisses the idea of men actually building male sex robots for women—“You think we’re gonna build you sex robots? You’re crazy.”
• Concludes: “There’s an awful lot of things that have happened in that time that we did not see coming. This is one we’ve had our eye on. And the advancements are here.” [60:51]

---

Memorable Moments & Quotes

• “If you don’t know what we’re talking about, Google ‘Dudley gets raped’. ... You’ll get the full 22 minutes. You will watch TV at its finest.” – John [04:41]
• “This generation rats out the cool mom. ... Could you ever imagine ... You would never tell on Brett’s parents for having ... a cool kid party.” – John [12:46]
• “There was a cool kid code. Honor. Like, Marines have. ... Don’t go hosing on their couch. Don’t go blasting some girl ... Be respectful of their space.” – John [22:20]
• “If you’re a kid and you got to go to a lady’s house and she provided alcohol in a safe place, and you told on her, you son of a bitch. That’s the worst thing you can do as a kid.” – John [14:22]
• “You better start getting a little bit of a personality. ... That Japanese dude is gonna be a trillionaire. I make her almost perfect.” – John [30:13, 39:38]
• “It's not about the sex. It's about the power over the robot. That's what rape is. Look it up.” – John [57:53]

---

Timestamps for Major Segments

• 80s Sitcoms & After-School Specials: 01:17–07:45
• Cool Party Moms vs. Generational Snitches: 08:02–15:49
• Party House Ethics & The Cool Kid Code: 19:33–25:48
• Sex Robots & Gender Dynamics: 26:28–44:52
• Is It Gay? Robot Sex Debate: 47:23–54:54
• Futurist Visions: Robot Utopia: 62:18–63:44

---

Language & Tone

The crew maintains their trademark unfiltered, edgy, and deeply irreverent style. Humor is dark and adult, commentary oscillates between nostalgia, blunt social critique, and over-the-top farce. The show is a blend of nostalgia (“We used to have honor!”), generational grievance, and comedically detailed speculation about an AI-run sexual future.

---

For First-Time Listeners

Even with its wild tangents and blue comedy, the episode tackles generational change, the evolution of social norms, and the increasingly blurred line between technology and sexuality—filtered through the absurdity and candor of Holmberg’s Morning Sickness. This is both social lament and farcical celebration of where “the code” was and where tech might take us.

---

For more, check out other episodes or listen in at 98kupd.com.

Transcript

[John Holmberg]

Get your brackets ready. March Madness is on at Hooters. Catch every buzzer beater with $4. 25 ounce Coors Light, $5. 25 ounce Gosekis and $3 hootie shots all month long. Hungry. Score big with 10 Buffalo shrimp and fries for just $9.99. Bring your crew, grab a table and make Hooters your headquarters for every slam dunk, upset and three pointer during March Madness. All prices are cash prices. Get in the game this March at Hooters.

[Brett]

Hooters.

[John Holmberg]

Big games, big flavor and unbeatable deals.

It's John Holmberg here from the morning Sickness to tell you about the Core Institute. People who met me found out that I've had four major operations in the last four years. They're blown away. I've had both shoulders replaced and both hips replaced because I was an absolute disaster before my surgeries. I was in pain. Now no one knows I've had any issues. People who hear multiple surgeries assume they'll never be the same again. It's just not true. I'm better than I've been in 20 years. Stop quitting the things you love and get back to being the pain free you you love. Thecoreinstitute. Still streaming Homberg's Morning Sickness online at 98kupd.com and I want to talk to you about something that's very personal. Your body. Remember, it's your body, and no one

[Master Luke]

should touch you in a way that

[John Holmberg]

you feel is wrong. I'll get anybody who tries it. It's not that easy, Orko. It's hard for a young person to

[Master Luke]

admit that he or she has been

[John Holmberg]

touched in a bad way. If you've been touched that way, don't be ashamed. Tell someone you trust, like your parents, your doctor, preacher or counselor or your minister or rabbi.

[Master Luke]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Right?

[Brett]

Or co.

[John Holmberg]

Right on. Yeah. Isn't that great?

[Ellen]

I didn't say priest.

[John Holmberg]

You said. Yeah, yeah. You sit through an episode of he man, you know, solving all the problems of Skeletor, and then they hit you at the end with that one. One of my favorite things about the 80s was their blatant handling of you're probably gonna get fingered by somebody. And here's what Dudley and Arnold would do about that. He just sent me a clip of that. I just got that. Which made me think about. It was the great episode of Diff'rent Strokes that I'd forgotten because the guy sent me the thing before it aired. Mr. Drummond came on and said, tonight's episode. It's a Doozy. Like, huh? The comedy of Arnold and Willis and Mr. Drummond and Dudley and the Gooch.

[Ellen]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Tonight we introduce a new character, and I'll be honest with you, I don't know what the writers were thinking, but we filmed it, and we're gonna. We're gonna run it. Dudley gets raped. Enjoy the comedy of different.

[Brett]

Just remember, this is an actor. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

But here's the best part about Dudley getting raped. Here's the best part about the 80s in general. We never. We. We never hung on to anything. We watched Dudley get raped on different Strokes on a Tuesday at 8:30. And the next Tuesday and the following Tuesdays from there on was never mentioned again. Dudley showed up in Arnold's house a couple days later, and not one person said, how are you, Dudley? You're doing all right since, you know, the bike guy raped you on that one episode. Yeah. He's like, no, I don't like. I don't like riding bikes anymore. For two reasons.

[Ellen]

Mr. Carlson wasn't.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. And it was the big guy from WKRP raped Dudley, showed him some dirty cartoons. Arnold was wise to it and left. And he left his, you know, his buddy behind, so to speak.

[Ellen]

Every man for himself.

[John Holmberg]

And that's what happened. And then a week later, they were fighting the Gooch over cigarettes that weren't theirs. It was great. They never talked about it again.

[Brett]

And didn't the big guy chill away for cleaning clothes, too, after the fact?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, he was the Maytag man. Oh, I thought you meant on the show. I got to remember by an. Oh, yeah, I know. He was the. Yeah, the next.

[Ellen]

The second guy.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, it was the board Maytag man. And he was also the Irish father of Joanna Kearns on Growing Pains. Oh, that's. He was Maggie's dad. They'd come over every once in a while in the rv and they would argue with bad Irish accents with Ellen thick in the gang, but on his resume. Gordon Jump, guy who raped Dudley. It was a sitcom. They tackled those subjects like we wanted them to. We didn't.

[Brett]

You think we can get Gordon Jump to do this role? Oh, yeah. There's a good chance.

[John Holmberg]

Throw the script down on the showrunner's desk and go, you're gonna love. This is a whopper. In the end, Dudley gets raped. Like, what? And, you know, they had a debate on, like, maybe Arnold should be the one that gets raped. Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We can't have. Gary Coleman is a. Is a treasure. Rape his friend. We can't have the American Public won't accept that we got to rape the friend. You can't matter with you more powerful

[Brett]

that he dodged the Google it.

[John Holmberg]

If you don't know what we're talking about, Google Dudley gets raped. That's one you can.

[Ellen]

That'll probably just come right up.

[John Holmberg]

Right up. You get all that? You'll get the full 22 minutes. You can also Google very special Different Strokes, the bike shop. Gordon, jump on Different Strokes and you will watch TV at its finest. Back in the 80s, when right in the middle of, like, family TV, they're like, hey, watch this. You're gonna be blown away. There's laughs. Like the bike shop guy, you know, they kept it. You know, the rule in sitcoms is one joke per minute, which is a joke a page. They stayed pretty true to it till the rape.

[Brett]

He was grooming.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, he was fun. He was fun. He had a bike store in a back room with, you know, little liquor and like, video games. Well, he had video, a couple games, but he had some cool cartoons that no one had ever seen where the mice had sex. And Arnold points out that the. They were taking their clothes off and then they started to do stuff. And Arnold, you see Arnold the second, he's like, why still. What the. Huh? Dudley's all in. And then Arnold's like, I'm getting the hell out of here. See ya. And Dudley's like, I'm gonna stay. And then the bike shop guy puts his arm around Dudley. And that was kind of their way of saying, he's gonna Dudley. And he did. And then the next week, Dudley was fine. They wanted to recover. They never once had Dudley just for no reason, break down in tears in the middle of an episode. Just like, I'm sorry, I'm having a flashback to when I got raped by

[Brett]

the bike eight Episod.

[John Holmberg]

It would have just been on a note. What's the matter, Dudley? Oh, Jesus. It just happens now and again that I. This horrible secret that I'm toting around the sitcom occasionally rears its ugly head. And I never told you guys I was violently raped by a bicycle shop owner.

[Brett]

Or the follow up, Dudley and 12 other kids in that neighborhood, right? Come forward.

[John Holmberg]

They're just like a whole scammer.

[Brett]

The bike shop, too.

[John Holmberg]

How great would that show have been if just in the subtext or the underlying themes that were never really loud, but every once in a while you'd, you know, like Arnold would mention, like, yeah, we tried to get up here, but there's so many protesters down at the bike shop. Like, just every once in a while, it would be known that the scandal has been revealed and Dudley came forward. Rewrite it. That's how the 80s. The 80s were cooler. You got raped. Six days. You got six days to get over that. Next week, we're gonna get you back on the. Back on the trolley. You'll be fine, Dudley. Dudley's dad dropped dead. Lung cancer. Remember that episode?

[Ellen]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

When Dudley's dad was smoking. He found a mass in his lung, and Philip Drummond tried to tell him, you gotta knock it off. Yeah, man, you're right. He goes, you do it for Dudley. Yeah, my boy, he got raped. We don't talk about that anymore. And then he goes out in the hallway and he packs some smokes up against his hand and breaks out a cigarette as if to say, he's just gonna die. Dudley's been raped. His dad's got cancer. Worst, worst sitcom family ever.

[Brett]

Late 70s. At my junior high, they busted the English teacher. He had groomed a couple of boys. It was, get out of here. Get out of this state.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Master Luke]

No, they didn't.

[John Holmberg]

That's what the Catholic Church taught everybody back in the day. It's like, oh, you just move. Move somewhere else. You're not gonna do it to other people.

[Brett]

You know what? You're fine.

[John Holmberg]

Get out of here. Takes too long for him to get to know folks. I will tell you this. I am very upset. Speaking of the. I have discovered in one story, Brett, that this generation is. We already knew that they were soft, that this upcoming group of kids is sort of useless, I think, going forward. They live at home till they're 30. They're lazy. They don't have social skills. They're. You know, you find a. You find somebody who is ambitious and they work hard, and it shows. Like, they stand out because nobody. Like, they're. They're surrounded by losers. Here's a fun story that proves it. Headline says, party mom allegedly held drunken parties for teens, gave them some alcohol, and was not discouraging sex acts. Thirteen kids came forward. What the kind of generation is this?

[Master Luke]

I.

[John Holmberg]

We prayed for a house like that. And my parents would say, are their parents home? Like, yep, all right, that's fine. And they kept them from driving. These kids turned in this perfectly cool mom who was, like, letting them do this stuff. We had a house where it was like, you can drink at Joe's because his parents will let us drink, but we can't leave. And there was a. It was a. I mean, guitar did. They. Don't get fingered like, what was going on in that house? There was so many. The pianos don't get fingered. Like, what was happening in Joe's basement? And everybody was safe.

[Brett]

Is this the one where, you know, 11 year old petty was curled up next to a vodka bottle?

[John Holmberg]

No. They always pick the outlier. I know there's a whole bunch of cool kids doing cool things, and then one kid comes in, but 13 of them turned everybody. And nobody was getting like, you know, no adults were doing terrible things to the kids. The mom was just there going, look, you're going to do this on your own.

[Ellen]

Yeah, you just be here.

[John Holmberg]

I'm just, just here. And if you start having sex and stuff, let's have condoms. They're available. Like, oh, my God. And it wasn't the parents that found out. My parents would have been like, where are you going? To Joe's this weekend. All right, good. They like, they liked that, these uncool kids. Her name is Shannon o'. Connor. She's a hero accused of buying and providing alcohol, including vodka and fireball, for teens in Las Gatos, California. She allegedly handed out condoms to the miners. Uh, she warned them, let's not talk about these things. I can get in trouble, but I'm doing you guys a favor. This is a sex house for you. Go crazy. Clean up after yourselves. Uh, the parties were between June of 2020, during COVID and May of 2021. Giving kids stuff to do. We were all bored. Uh, 20 adults and 41 witnesses says that she, she did all the stuff for the King. They're throwing her in jail. This was the, this in our day, Brett was the house of cool. His parents will let you do stuff like that. Now, you couldn't just knock on the door and go, I'd like to have sex here. But she'd have a party on Friday and keep it safe. Yeah, well, she's not allowed to have hair dye. She was blonde when she was normal, but Brett just found a picture of her in court.

[Ellen]

First thing they do, she looked better then.

[John Holmberg]

First thing they do is take away all your hair care. Jodi Arias. Remember she was blonde and like a month later, she wasn't. She's all natural. She doesn't look good, but she's been in jail for a while there, Brett. She's still the coolest mom in the world. Now, you didn't have to partake. There's the. There's the rub, right? Take me back to my friend Joe's house, right? And Joe's like a superstar cop now. Joe and his family were like, look, if you guys are gonna drink, do it here. If you're gonna be stupid, do it here. Have your little parties here. Our basement. We can't hear you upstairs, so if you didn't like it, you didn't have to stay. There were plenty of people who were like, I'm gonna go home. I don't like this. But nobody ever ratted them out and wrecked it for everyone else. It stayed in house. And the good. These kids showed up and, like, they're allowing alcohol tell on them and wrecked it for everybody.

[Ellen]

Good, then don't go.

[John Holmberg]

Then. Go home and don't come back. This generation rats out the cool mom. They let us drink. Could you ever imagine, like, going over to let's go to Brett Fesley's house? Like, Brett's parents let us have some sambuca. It's terrible, but we're gonna have shots with them, and then they make us stay here. It's fine. And nothing bad happened. We're throwing up in pots and pans in Joe's house all the time. We'd go get the pots and pans. It makes me sick that these people cooked with that. But there was constant puking, and then. But one kid would go, I don't think this is right. Well, you're not invited anymore.

[Ellen]

Yeah, go home, Dudley.

[John Holmberg]

You would never. Exactly. You would never tell on Brett's parents for having, you know, hey, this is a cool kid party. I remember Joe's dad asking once. He's like, who's that one girl that was in here? And he was so proud of his son for making out with her down in the basement. You had cool people. You don't turn these people in and you turn in the people who. The parents were touching the kids.

[Brett]

What? I mean, the drinking's one thing, but then if you said, you know, you found out your kids going over to a house, and the parents are like, yeah, you can. You can drink all you want. And they also hand out condoms.

[John Holmberg]

They're available. It's a party.

[Ellen]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Would you rather have.

[Brett]

I don't think too many people, too many parents would go, yeah, I want my kids.

[John Holmberg]

Of course. Not now change. Because the kids suck now, let alone back in the day. That was a good thing. Okay. She's providing. Most likely you weren't gonna have sex because there's an adult around.

[Brett]

Especially if it was a. You know, this sounds like a single mom.

[John Holmberg]

Don't know. But what I do know is single

[Brett]

dad doing that with the kids.

[John Holmberg]

It's a garbage System of pussified children. It used to be a cool thing to go to a party and have alcohol. And the adults are like, we're watching you. We're keeping an eye on you here. But you're allowed to do this because you're going to do it without us, and that's going to cause more trouble.

[Brett]

That's the other thing.

[John Holmberg]

That's too.

[Brett]

Because it's. What's that? The risk of it. The kids are coming over the. To, you know, and you're.

[Ellen]

The house.

[Brett]

It's like, oh, yeah, kids. I want my kid. If he's drinking, I want him drinking at my house. His friends are coming over there. They can drink at my house.

[John Holmberg]

But when they leave, you can't let them go. That's the point of the adults. But guess what? If an adult's there or not, if you get drunk at some kid's house and drive off and kill them, you're still responsible. So at least be there, right? So if there's adultery, because otherwise they go to parties without parents there and they act stupid. In the 80s, are you liable then? Never in the 80s ever was there a parent on the news saying, yeah, we had a party, and I was there, and we watched it. They're like, yeah, of course. I was supervising. It's called chaperone. How they tattle on them. They're a little. You raised a snitches. Raised a group of rats. I'm with Brett on this one. If you're a kid and you got to go to a lady's house and she provided alcohol in a safe place, and you told on her, you son of a bitch. That's the worst thing you can do as a kid.

[Master Luke]

Then she had alcohol to all the children and. And some of the kids were fingering each other. I told on her.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you wrecked it for all the cool kids.

[Master Luke]

Now they have to go hide.

[Ellen]

I hope those kids were ostracized at things in high school. You know, when they went back in, it's like, you, mother, we know you

[John Holmberg]

ratted on us, you little nerd, Just because you can't get laid.

[Master Luke]

I just thought it was awkward and wrong that there was alcohol and teen sex.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there's going to be alcohol and teen sex everywhere. We were getting away with it, you prick. Now we got to find it on our own, you know? And then they're going to start going and getting tickets and getting underage consumption. But they were. They were covered.

[Master Luke]

It was a safe space.

[John Holmberg]

Isn't that what this generation's constantly looking for something something. Check out Homework's Morning Sickness podcast at

98kupd.com well, it's now the NBA's time to shine. For us Suns fans, that means fast breaks and buzzer beaters are front and center. It's Dick Toledo for Underdog. The app we're the NBA can score you 5000 times your money and playing on Underdog is so easy. Just picket players will go higher or lower on their stats. And here's a sneaky good play I like. Take Grayson Allen higher on three point attempts and Mark Williams higher on rebounds. But whatever the stat line you like, Underdog's got it. So play on Underdog with me and download the app today and use promo code HMS to score $75 in bonus entries when you play your first $5. Underdog make picks win money must be 18 +, 19 in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 in Colorado for some games, 21+ in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state Underdog Fantasy operates. Terms apply. Concerned with your play, call 1-800-MY-RESET or 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org Arizona 1-800-Next Step 1-800-639-8783 or text Next Step to 533-42 New York. Call the 24.7Hope line at 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text Hopeny to 467-369.

[Larry McFeely]

Hey, it's Larry McFeely and I'm trying to decide where to have my next excellent adventure. Maybe I should just conquer every bagel shop in the Valley. Well, the good news is it's Toyota's Ready, Set Go sales event at your Valley Toyota dealer. So where end up? I'll be getting there in style. Maybe a Camry for that smooth desert cruise, a Tacoma for off road exploring, or a tundra to haul my adventure gear, which is currently just a bunch of snacks. Whatever your adventure looks like this year, now it's time to make your move. Visit your Valley Toyota dealers or valleytoyotadealers.com Toyota let's go places.

[John Holmberg]

Holmberg's Morning Sickness Mom, Our party house was busted. You know where the party house was at? Nobody talked about it. And the worst one was that father Dale over there had two party houses at Dobson. He had kids over and you know, turned a blind eye to an awful lot of stuff.

[Ellen]

Right there, right off of Guadalupe. You can see it from the street.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, still there. Teenagers dancing, video games in the garage, the guy in a dress surrounded by hundreds of teenagers. Nobody said A thing. You don't tell on the cool mom. Now she's got to go to jail. Well, I think she's a hero. I think she's as good as any of those people that volunteered to put that E in their window. This is a safe place. But one nerd kid ratted them out. Never. You had one. I'm sure your high school, there was a house that you're like, this is where the parents let you drink and stuff like that. And they weren't encouraging it or forcing it. They're like, look, you guys are going to do this, do it here, and nobody's going home. I remember Joe's parents are like, give us the keys right away. If you're, if you have anything, if you, for a beer, give us your key. You're going nowhere. Well, I won't drink then. It's exactly right. We weren't allowed to smoke weed. They didn't provide us drugs. But we got to sit back there and do stuff that we were going to do anyway.

[Brett]

Usually the house that was okay with it didn't provide it. You, if you brought it over, they're looking the other way.

[John Holmberg]

Well, Joe's family did go into the garage and get a twelver out of there. And the garage fridge was always packed full. It's a great place to be. And it was also to keep us from going and trying to buy beer and get in trouble doing that. And he, the whole goal of it was like, let's just, let's look, let's knock off all the nonsense and just be smart. And then, you know, some kid named Mike Reynoa comes in and starts going,

[Master Luke]

well, I didn't know family was giving out alcohol to the kids. I'm going to tell on everyone.

[John Holmberg]

And then now we, now we lose the house and the roses have to go to jail.

[Brett]

There is a certain age, I mean, I don't, you know, high school, whatever.

[John Holmberg]

That's what we're talking about. Of course you don't give elementary kids that. They're not part of it.

[Brett]

I think that's the problem.

[John Holmberg]

Well, they weren't the problem. Everybody was 15 or older and they were showing up at parties. That's when parties happen.

[Brett]

That's another lady last week that was in trouble. The kid was 11.

[John Holmberg]

Well, right. And she got in trouble. For 11 year olds, you don't do obvious. It's obvious. If you have to have it explained to you, you're an idiot. You know the difference? The high school kids find parties, they get drunk. That's What? That's been going on forever. It used to be part of fun movies. Superbad was the last fun movie that was ever made about teenage drinking that nobody got upset about. You put Super Bad on the screen today and it's brand new. It's like, why are we teenage drinking from.

[Master Luke]

This is terrible. Not My Angel.

[Ellen]

They're all American Pie too, though.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that was a good one. That was a great one. The whole goal of the whole. The premise, the plot of Superbad is how do we get alcohol for a party and the great lengths they would go to. You release that today and suddenly it's irresponsible and people are in jail. We used to be a cool nation. We have lost it. We have lost it. People snitches get stitches, as Dave Grell said. And I hope that kid was. I hope he's got at least 45. I hope he looks like an Indian after a Slayer concert. He's just cut up. He's got stitches all over, and he's

[Ellen]

never going to get laid.

[John Holmberg]

Good. Yeah. She had a New Year's Eve party at her house. That's when it all went sideways. New Year's eve going into 2021. And, you know, the kids were drinking and doing their thing and she was keeping an eye on them. They're going to do it anyway. Party kids are fun and there's always going to be them. You know what else is crazy is that parents don't even know what their kids are doing with the vaping and all the other stuff. I just think it's something. Come on. She's a cool mom and everybody knows it. Everybody who gets upset's like, oh, there used to be that one family in our neighborhood when I was growing up. They'd let us do stuff like that, but, you know, they always kept an eye on us and you didn't want.

[Brett]

The weird thing was, even back then, you still. I mean, it was. You just felt it was kind of a ballsy thing to do just because of this situation.

[John Holmberg]

The weird thing was all us degens never disrespected it. You go to a house party, Brett's parents are out of town. We go to the house party, some idiot would lose their mind and do something dumb or start having sex in the back room or whatever. We never did that to Joe's parents because we knew, hey, don't wreck this. You know what? Don't knock anything over. Don't get so bored.

[Brett]

There's a code.

[Master Luke]

Yeah, there was a code.

[John Holmberg]

There was a cool kid code. Honor. Honor. That's right, Brett. It was honor. Like, Marines have. Like, look, these people are kind enough to open the doors and give us this cool spot. Don't disrespect it. Don't go hosing on their couch. They'll go blasting some girl, you know, Captain Hook and finger banging everybody in the kitchen. Be respectful of their space. This guy says, this was exactly my house in high school. All my friends would come over. We'd be drinking and smoking weed and playing dice and dominoes all night. We did it for years. Only rule was, if you were there and you partook, you had to stay the night. That was the right thing. That's called responsibility and realistic behavior. This poor lady's got to go to jail for watching your kids because you didn't. So, John, I said it before. I'll say it again. This is what happens when you hand out participation trophies. All the pussies start winning. That's exactly right. And each one of you cool kids, it's gonna text me or email me now and say, this was the house we used to go. Everybody had one. Everybody had the cool. The cool house on the weekends when there was nothing going on. Said, this will get hate mail, but it's those single mothers in menopause. Those boys grow up as pansies. Let's get a man in their life sharing a beer. My dad shared beer with me in Olympia. I was probably 10 or 11 years old. He tried once before that. I didn't like the flavor of it. It's like, you're gonna drink this stuff eventually. You're just gonna. So let's start now. Sure enough. Sat there drinking like, I don't think I'm gonna drink this stuff. You will. And he was wrong. I never had another Olympia again. I had better beer. My dad was broke.

[Ellen]

That was our buddy. It's our buddy Katero. He still doesn't drink. He tried it at, like, 15. Didn't like it. Just never went back to it. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

And that's fine too, right? But if Katero showed up at a drinking party and started telling everybody, don't drink, I'm gonna tell on you.

[Ellen]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

We'd beat him within an inch of his life.

[Ellen]

Absolutely.

[John Holmberg]

It is mob mentality. Teenagers are a lot like the mob and get their little group. Everybody's been made. Like, you're allowed in. You bring.

[Ellen]

To keep your mouth.

[John Holmberg]

You bring. Yes. You bring in a new kid. Is he cool? He's cool. Is he gonna rat us out for this? We got a pretty good thing going Here. What do they say it? Omerta. Omer. Omerta. Shut the up. This is a cool thing. And as a parent, if you didn't know and you're like, my kid's going over there drinking you providing the alcohol. They're like, nah, we're making sure that they don't do anything stupid. They're like, all right, well, I'd prefer it if you didn't give my kid alcohol. They don't. Nobody's forcing them in here. Are you gonna wreck it for everyone else? Yeah, we're gonna send you to jail. Oh, for Christ's sake. Terrible.

[Brett]

The options were abundant growing up in high school. Whoever's parents were going out that night and you went over to that house of.

[John Holmberg]

That's the danger. Because whoever's parents left, you had a party there. And then terrible things happened and everybody left. If there was a parent there saying, hey, I'm keeping an eye on this, it was the smarter thing. It was the wise parent that allowed that. You guys got nowhere to go. I'd rather have you here than out screwing around. I think the kid who told should go to jail just as long as the mom did 100%.

[Master Luke]

What do I have to go to jail for? I was a decent citizen.

[Ellen]

For being a pussy.

[John Holmberg]

For being a pussy. There's a rule against that. You're in. You're in social jail forever, Cattle. You did what? Teen drinking is constant and will never go away. So my dad once told me he'd rather have me call him at 2 in the morning than a cop show up at the door to ask him to identify what might be me. That's exactly right. Let me get back to that realism. You gotta act. You gotta act like a goddamn man. Where are the men? Oh, here he comes again. Here's Alex again. Where are the men?

[Brett]

Where are the men? In this country? Where are the men?

[John Holmberg]

In this world, have we.

[Ellen]

I agree.

[John Holmberg]

Alex, what is going on? Eventually it'll all swing back or they'll all just have. Oh, man. I saw a thing about AI robots this weekend. I could not tell that the woman wasn't real and it wasn't on the screen. She's like a. She's like a tangible robot you can buy. She's like $350,000, but she's worth it. Oh, you know what? To a lot of dudes, it is. That's cheaper than what you end up spending to get rid of one. And man, oh, man. Move. They kept her shell skinless, so they had the rope, but her Head was spectacular. And she leans forward and gives a guy a kiss. And this little Asian dude's like. You could tell he's about to just all over himself. Gee, that was great. We put skin on. That is awesome. But they said her boobs were, like, lit up blue. And, like, you can see all the stuff inside her. And she's moving real fluid. And like, we are. We are getting real close. And I'm saying right now, young ladies, shape up. Don't be like your moms. There is active science trying to replace you. You think AI is coming for your job? They're coming for a whole gender. For 350,000, you can just throw it away. Lifetime. It's guaranteed forever. And it. You can. It never gets mad. No problem upgrading, no periods, no menopause. Like that lady got mad at us last week.

[Brett]

I get a battery or a new model.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, right. Yeah, you just go to Pep Boys and reload her with whatever juice she needs. But yeah, you put her on the charger.

[Ellen]

No worrying about vacation.

[John Holmberg]

Come on.

[Ellen]

Because it's.

[John Holmberg]

Why'd you take her on vacation? Just leave her. Yeah. So I'm going on vacation. I'm not spending money on your ticket.

[Ellen]

Well, that's what I'm saying you have to worry about. But I can't do it, of course, because I planned a vacation.

[John Holmberg]

Now it's pretty awesome, Brad. But that little Asian dude, I thought he was gonna just. Right in his drawers because the thing just goes, oh, we are gonna make this happen into my lifetime. We are five years away. I saw that robot dancing the other day. They can make it dance.

[Ellen]

That was creepy.

[John Holmberg]

It's moving like us. It's moving just like us. And imagine it can do stuff because it doesn't have to be like bones or anything. It can do stuff you can't even fathom yet. Meanwhile, you got women out there going,

[Master Luke]

well, if you don't buy me things, I'm not interested.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, baby, your days are numbered. You're basically a like a blacksmith. You're going out of business.

[Master Luke]

Tick tock.

[John Holmberg]

You better stop with the attitude, because they're inventing. Better use. And I love it. I talked to a girl about this a while ago, and she goes, well,

[Master Luke]

they'll just do it for men too.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, sister, you're not gonna like the man robot. It doesn't have a job. It's not gonna buy you stuff. It's. You got a problem. The future is not good for you if you keep it up.

[Brett]

Up. I mean, he'll listen better.

[John Holmberg]

Maybe he'll absorb your information, but he's gonna listen to you about how real men are gone. And then you ride his robotic ass. Maybe you get a little something out of it, but he still. Then you still got to get your ass up the next day. And that lazy robot's gonna be sitting in a chair going, they'll see you. Where'd you come home? I will bang you when you arrive at the house. And they're not gonna work hard on the male ones. Those things are gonna be like Rosie from the jets and just a bucket rolling around on wheels.

[Master Luke]

The male robots suck. Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

Because we're not building those.

[Brett]

All they want is the bust.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I don't see a lot of female scientists breaking out technology to build the male robot. Sure, there'll be a small group of men that will build those, but for the most part, this is a female replacement program. I'm not saying I'm for it, but I'm watching it happen. And if you still think that you get flowers and dinner and all this other stuff, or else. If you still use your vagina as currency. Oh, we talked about it a few weeks ago. You better get a type 5 lady. You better start getting a little bit of a personality. That's interesting.

[Ellen]

Sell your stock in ftd. The flower companies are gonna be out of business.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, they're going.

[Ellen]

They're gone.

[John Holmberg]

Because you'll program your girl.

[Master Luke]

The flowers are stupid and for dumb girls.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Totally agree there, Vanessa the robot.

[Master Luke]

All I want to do is have sex all day.

[John Holmberg]

Do you learn how to cook?

[Master Luke]

Yes. Program cooking.

[John Holmberg]

Okay. God damn it. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I can't have sex with you right now because I'm crying so hard. I'm gonna screw up your internal mechanisms.

[Brett]

Just bring her in a stick.

[Master Luke]

I love the stick you gave me. You never take me anywhere. We never go on vacation.

[John Holmberg]

I'll take. What would a robot never say for a thousand. Alex? It was weird. And I will say that is weird. Weird. But, like, if they skin the girl and that sounded bad. They add skin to the girl.

[Ellen]

Thanks, Jacob.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. If they added skin to her, you wouldn't have known she wasn't human the way she was moving. And she is a one of one right now. And I mean, she's like.

[Brett]

Say it's less than five years.

[John Holmberg]

She. Oh, we're close. She was reaching for, like, I'll do it. Nobody can see me. She was. She had a cup, and she just kind of moved forward a little, and that was awkward. And then she just did the and I'm like, oh my God. That I wouldn't know. Like I would just say that it maybe she had like a twitch when she moved a little weird. And then when she. But you could see that she's a robot. If they put skin and clothes on her, you wouldn't know. You would not know. Brady. I think you're right. About five years we're going to be like they're going to start rolling those out and that's the earliest worst version. Ladies, I'm telling you, you worry about AI coming for lawyers jobs and they're coming for you.

[Ellen]

Just think you can build your own dua lipa.

[Brett]

Then so long, he's gone.

[John Holmberg]

And women will say we'll just build

[Master Luke]

the guys from heated rivalry.

[John Holmberg]

All right, they ain't got jobs. There's something something. Check out Homework's Morning Sickness podcast at

[Larry McFeely]

98kupd.com this is Larry McFeely and March is that sweet spot. You've got the best weather, spring training in full swing and the perfect excuse to upgrade your ride. Choose from Toyota. Toyota's best sellers like the smooth and reliable Camry, the always ready for anything Tacoma or the bold hard working tundra. Whether you're commuting across the valley, heading up north for the weekend or hauling gear for your next project, Toyota's got the keys to your next adventure. Make your move today during Toyota's Ready Set Go sales event. Visit your valley Toyota dealers or valleytoyotadealers.com Toyota let's go places.

[John Holmberg]

It's John Holmberg here from the morning Cygnus and I'm absolutely thrilled to tell you about my [e-mail] you've heard me mention Kevin Costner, Trey McBride, other countless celebrities and pro athletes, how they chose lifted trucks. But that doesn't mean it's only for actors and pro athletes. It's for all of you. Everybody who loves a cool adventure. So if you're a huge celebrity like me or just an average Joe who wants the best truck available, head on over to lifted trucks. They live up to being the number one custom truck dealer for over 30 years. 10,000 five star reviews can't be wrong. Liftedtrucks.com work hard, play hard, drive harder. Holmberg's morning sickness. The big thing you like about us goes away. You can have sex robot. We don't care. It's called dildos. We still are they paying the bills? He's my Bridgerton.

[Master Luke]

I have my own job.

[John Holmberg]

Right. You're gonna have to work Hard. This is dumb. You're not seeing the writing on the wall here. You no longer have leverage. You've been using this thing as leverage for a long time. The Japs invented. They replaced your leverage with better leverage. Like, you gotta figure tight. Five good stories. Be fun. Stop getting mad. Lick the tip.

[Master Luke]

Play with the balls

[John Holmberg]

for somebody. People like Brady reach back there and fiddle the B hole to the land. Quit telling us we're doing stuff wrong because the robots won't.

[Master Luke]

Neither will the man robots.

[John Holmberg]

Still doesn't have a job.

[Master Luke]

Get it?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. There'll be no more like. Okay. Would you, Matt? Why wouldn't it? What?

[Master Luke]

Is that all you want from us?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. We don't want the hassle. Yeah. If we could eliminate the hassle for all the good stuff, I think we do it. I think we do it. Plus, when, like, it starts liking us and stuff, you just shut it down, lob its head off. You O.J. that thing. Nobody. There's no law against that.

[Ellen]

It's true.

[John Holmberg]

It would cure domestic violence. He's not. You buy one robot for that, it would drop. Yeah. You buy one robot for that, you beat up that one. And then the other one is for loving. Sure. If you've got. If you got. If you got a hankering for, you know, dv.

[Brett]

If it's a generational thing.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you get, like, the older guys, why you. And he smacks the other one across the mouth. You. Yeah. You get like one of those. You know, I've got one at the house. Not a robot. One of those punch bobs. Just a half a body of a man, and you can fight it. It's basically. If you looked at it from a distance, it would look like, I hate amputees because I stand in that room and just pound on this armless male figure and he's like, there's no defending it. It looks terrible. What am I training for hitting a man with no arms? Just relentlessly. Ladies. I'm saying, spice it up. Because what I just said or what I just saw.

[Ellen]

Good luck, ladies.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. They're not coming for the jobs. They're coming for a hole gender. And there's no ladies out there in some science camp inventing cool man robots. You know who's building those man robots? Those same Jap men. And they're not in a hurry to do that. It's like what I always said about the Masters. Remember when ladies would stand outside Augusta in Georgia and say, we want in, we want in. And that one guy, that Hootie his name was Hootie. He used to run Hootie Johnson. Oh, yeah, his name was Hootie Johnson. He was a horrible, racist old man in the late 90s. And he was running out of Augusta. We never let a woman touch this cost. Ain't nobody stopping you from building your own. And then he'd leave, and everybody's like, hootie's not wrong. And then they still stood outside. We wanted. We want to go build your own goddamn replica. I don't care. You're not coming in. And then he'd see a black guy go by and go, don't you get any ideas neither. He was not happy about any of it. And then Hootie died and they opened the gates. But basically what he was saying was, we built our own. Go build yours.

[Master Luke]

No, we went on yours.

[John Holmberg]

That's lazy is all that is.

[Master Luke]

We don't know how to build a golf course.

[John Holmberg]

Well, ask nicely. Don't come in here and giving us grief. And then they let him in. But Hootie was right. If you want your own, just build it. AI Ladies are not involving themselves in the AI Male replacement. You can sit back and build the biggest wiener and the nicest man ever. And guess what? You're gonna come home to a deadbeat. That's what that's called. How was your day at work?

[Master Luke]

What did you do around here all day?

[John Holmberg]

Waited for you to come home to service you.

[Master Luke]

Is that what this is?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, my God. You've created your own cyclical nightmare.

[Master Luke]

Is that all I am to you? Sex robot?

[John Holmberg]

I'm confused. And then the robots will invent robots to replace you if you keep it up.

[Master Luke]

I need you to do things around the house. Did you take the trash out?

[John Holmberg]

I'm not equipped for that. I'm here to service you physically.

[Master Luke]

I need more. Typical man. Get a job.

[Brett]

It won't be enough.

[John Holmberg]

And then that's. It won't be enough.

[Master Luke]

Why don't you ever take me anywhere?

[John Holmberg]

I don't know where that is.

[Brett]

You know I got my robot.

[Master Luke]

He's dumb.

[Brett]

I hate watching him eat.

[John Holmberg]

What shoves bolts in his mouth. Delicious bolts. Ready for sex.

[Master Luke]

You're worse than the last one.

[John Holmberg]

You invented a sex robot, dummy. Your idea was we'll replace you too. Nuh.

[Ellen]

A robot to take out the trash.

[John Holmberg]

The NBA and WNBA are equally, you know, distant from each other chronologically. As is the male attempts to build sex robot girls and be happy with them as women's sex robot men. You guys are way behind on this one. You didn't think we'd do it. We were doing it. God damn it.

[Master Luke]

This is better than going to the moon.

[John Holmberg]

We warned you. We've told you for eventually those Japs are going to pull and we're going to get rid of you.

[Master Luke]

You don't have any. We'll get rid of you too.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, you don't see your. You're a mess. Circularly. You're gonna come home to some deadbeat doesn't have a job and all he wants to do is have sex. Guess what you got right now. A guy with the job only wants to do is have sex. What's better? Just the tip. Brady's butthole. You guys figure it out. It's easy. We're easy. We're easy creatures. That Japanese dude is gonna be a trillionaire. I make her almost perfect.

[Ellen]

Perfect.

[Master Luke]

You don't want a woman to challenge.

[John Holmberg]

It's my favorite thing in the world.

[Master Luke]

You don't have to challenge your thoughts.

[John Holmberg]

No.

[Master Luke]

What's wrong with you? Are you insecure?

[John Holmberg]

Maybe. I guess. I don't know. I just don't like being. I don't. I don't want a man to sit and challenge me all day either. I like to sit and agree and have a nice day.

[Ellen]

I'll turn on my PlayStation if I want to be challenged.

[John Holmberg]

I got. I got another robot for that.

[Ellen]

No problem.

[John Holmberg]

If I want to get frustrated through activities, I don't need a woman for that. I've got a PlayStation Now.

[Brett]

The robot can help you with the code.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. Oh, man. Hey, robot.

[Master Luke]

What is it, John?

[John Holmberg]

Oh, man. All right, I'm gonna have sex with you real quick. Hang on. Then we're gonna play Red Dead 3.

[Brett]

Can you get me out of the snow?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Master Luke]

Well, you're not. Yes.

[John Holmberg]

She thinks I said blow. You're way behind, ladies. And I know they hate hearing it and I hate hearing it. I don't really want it to happen either, but it's years of grief. I want to see those male robots. Oh, boy, would those women hate those. After a couple weeks, I'm getting all

[Master Luke]

the D I need.

[John Holmberg]

Right? Okay, Me too. We're good. They'd be mad that we. We were, like, happy with that. Okay. Good for you.

[Master Luke]

You don't even care.

[John Holmberg]

Not really.

[Ellen]

I'm good.

[John Holmberg]

No. Kiss me and Digital Amber over here are gonna start banging again. And you're not gonna cry about it later. 3. Fast forward three weeks after she gets a robot. She's looking at him.

[Master Luke]

I hate you so much. You don't do anything.

[John Holmberg]

I have an Erection.

[Master Luke]

God damn it. That's all he does.

[John Holmberg]

You get on the ball. Ladies, I think it's fantastic. Future but you think we're gonna build you sex robots? You're crazy. Who's gonna buy them for you for Christmas? If your husband got you a sex robot, it's because he's got one of his own. You don't. You don't know about. Oh, the guy sex robot is awesome. So then Adam's right. Adam Arago says how long after the guy sex robots are invented would the first robot suicide or divorce filing happen? The robot goes to the car. I can't take this. I can't take this anymore. How did you guys do this? We don't know. Sex robot. We just don't know. What would you like Full emancipation. You got these robots just walking the streets on their own. I'd rather live outside than with her. Doesn't need a job. Picks up Coke cans and stuff and feeds himself. Who knows? Meanwhile, there would be absolutely zero homeless girl sex robots. They'd be cared for. Like you have no idea.

[Master Luke]

You're such an asshole.

[John Holmberg]

I know. I know. Know. It's going to happen. Oh, the ladies are chiming in.

[Ellen]

Of course they are.

[John Holmberg]

Smart women would just rent out their male robots to the gays and horny fat chicks. That's great, Carrie. That's brilliant. I actually really like your plan. You're a businesswoman. You'd be one of the winners. Renting out sex. You'd buy three or four sex robots and rent them out to gays and pigs.

[Brett]

Legal.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, pigs. The future pigs. You're the most. You're the most endangered species on the planet. It the 2am Pig. You're out. You're done. You have absolutely zero leverage left.

[Ellen]

Game over.

[John Holmberg]

Game is over. Game over. Insert quarter. Because that's about what it's worth. There'll be.

[Brett]

I don't know. There'll be. There might be an AI slump buster. Just to have it for a big fat baseball player. Get out of the slump.

[Ellen]

No, no. Buy something better.

[John Holmberg]

You know what? The slump buster will become a real woman. Any of them. Wouldn't matter what they look like. Oh. Got to have sex with a carbon based life form now.

[Brett]

I tried one the other night.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, they're gross. And then she complained the whole time. And then she wanted to talk. She, like, wanted to talk about our future. Brought up Thanksgiving.

[Master Luke]

It's April.

[John Holmberg]

Meet her family. What? No.

[Master Luke]

I asked 11 kit.

[John Holmberg]

Jesus Christ. I don't.

[Master Luke]

Nothing.

[John Holmberg]

No, I just wanted to start hitting the curve again. I needed. I needed to jump off.

[Master Luke]

All I am is a slump buster.

[John Holmberg]

I hate to break it to you, lady, but yes, all the carbon based ladies are now slump busters. You did this to yourselves.

[Master Luke]

I just wanted a man to take me to Bali.

[Ellen]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

The robot doesn't swim him.

[Master Luke]

You don't want to see us swim.

[John Holmberg]

We don't care to now. I mean, she gets in a bikini and walks around the house. She can't get in the water. Plus, if she's like £5,000, she gets trapped down there. It's like an umbrella. I'll never get her out. Oh, I can't wait. The future. I cannot wait, Brett. I can't wait. Ma would probably let you have a robot.

[Master Luke]

Yeah.

[Ellen]

Oh, yeah.

[John Holmberg]

You'd be all right with a sex robot now, house?

[Ellen]

Yeah, why not?

[John Holmberg]

I think that's awesome. Yeah, she's cool, so let's work for her.

[Ellen]

I'd be okay with her getting one.

[Brett]

Yeah, you know, whatever.

[John Holmberg]

Because, you know, he's no threat. We're not threatened by the male sex robots. We're not at all. I think ladies would be threatened by the female sex robot. I don't think men are threatened at all by saying, we'd probably make friends with him.

[Ellen]

He'll take out the trash. Feed the dogs, too.

[John Holmberg]

Clean up the dog crap. You can bang all you want to find out. I got. I got my attic. I got my own thing going. You're the coolest guy in the house. We both know that. We're the two coolest people in here.

[Brett]

C3PO.

[John Holmberg]

You're awesome, Master Luke. And he comes around. Yeah. What's going on?

[Master Luke]

I just railed your wife and I wanted to take the garbage out.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, that's helping me out a ton. Great job. If I'd give you a raise, I don't know what that looks like.

[Master Luke]

It is my pleasure, Master Luke.

[John Holmberg]

All right, great. I'm gonna go masturbate in the corner. All right, we'll see you later. Yeah, we would love. We would end up thinking that he's the coolest thing in the world. He goes walking through the house. Look at that. Look at this right here. That's awesome.

[Master Luke]

Good morning, Master Luke.

[John Holmberg]

Hey, what's up, Pio?

[Master Luke]

Why are you two so chummy?

[John Holmberg]

He's awesome. It's a robot, for Christ's sake. I mean, that's awesome. We got one in the house.

[Master Luke]

You know he just had sex with me, right?

[John Holmberg]

I didn't want to do that. You just went hiking? Smells like butterscotch and salmon. He can have it.

[Ellen]

Matthia, just text.

[John Holmberg]

She says.

[Brett]

Oh yeah?

[Ellen]

Want a Margot Robbie sex doll? No problem, as long as she cleans the house too.

[John Holmberg]

Exactly. Put her to work.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Master Luke]

Master Luke, would you like to go play basketball?

[John Holmberg]

You know what? Yeah, I would. Let's go play some hoops. There.

[Master Luke]

I wanted to have sex with the robot. Ah, here we go. Master Luke.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, I know. There we go.

[Ellen]

Welcome to my world, pal.

[John Holmberg]

You got blood on your fingers. See?

[Master Luke]

Ah, no, I didn't notice that.

[John Holmberg]

Thank you.

[Master Luke]

Why do they do that?

[John Holmberg]

Mine doesn't. Yours does. Because it's carbon. You got the old model.

[Master Luke]

They want to talk all the time. Master Luke.

[John Holmberg]

Man, that's crazy. Everybody hates it.

[Brett]

They start venting to you.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah.

[Master Luke]

Why does she hate everyone she works with?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, we've been trying to figure out that we don't know if they hate everybody they work with. Like every woman at work abroad. Yeah, they hate each other.

[Master Luke]

Master Luke, can we be friends?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, but we're not gonna have sex. That's called being gay. I mean, gay robots are in a different aisle. Wait, that Japanese dude. I tip the cup. Well done, son. Bert, what do you got on the big board of musical treats this week? Dream of the future, which is so close.

[Ellen]

Wake Up Song brought to you by our friends over there at Modern Resolution Windows and doors. Get 30% off all windows and doors right now. Just mention John Holmberg and get an extra 500 off your total contract price. Family run locally owned financing and payments plans are available. Check them out online@modern resolution.com says John.

[John Holmberg]

Would you finally experiment and do gay stuff with C3PO? Ever know about? These are questions that men ask each other which lead to progress. Women would never say, would you ever try lesbian stuff with the Princess Leia one? No. We think of C3PO and we say, would you ever be gay with it? Sure. Is it gay to rail a robot that way?

[Brett]

Yes.

[Ellen]

Mechanical crank.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

I mean if he's. If he's banging you. Yeah, if you're banging. Yeah, I think so.

[Brett]

If it's a male robot, I'm gonna go, yes.

[Ellen]

Really? But if robot Dua Lipa strapped one on and did you?

[John Holmberg]

Huh?

[Brett]

It'd be a gay activity.

[Master Luke]

Why?

[John Holmberg]

It's a robot.

[Brett]

But you're doing gay. A gay act.

[John Holmberg]

I'm banging him.

[Brett]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

It's the difference. What's gay about it?

[Brett]

Man on man.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's man on robots. Same thing as the girl.

[Brett]

Then it would be I guess closer then if for you might be bestiality.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's not. That's not objective. Yeah, well, no, not objective.

[Ellen]

It's gay if it's got a crank.

[John Holmberg]

If it's got a crank. If it's facing the other way.

[Ellen]

Certain you that it's got a crank

[John Holmberg]

and it's facing the other way. It's not gay. Oh, yeah, no, no.

[Brett]

Well, then we differ.

[John Holmberg]

You need to grow up is what needs to get over. It's just a robot. There's something. Something. Check out homework's morning sickness [e-mail] this is Michael with Restore My Civil Rights. Tax season is here, and for many people, that refund check is an opportunity. If a past conviction is holding you back from constitutional rights, your tax return can be an investment in your future. Instead of spending your refund on something temporary, use it to remove legal barriers from your record and restore your standing as the law abiding citizen you've worked hard to become. To book a free consultation, call 855-gun- rights or visit restoremycivilrights.com today. That's restoremycivilrights.com hey, it's Larry McFeely here

[Larry McFeely]

with my friend Wayne from AMCO. Wayne, it's tax time. You filed, and your refunds burn in a hole in your pocket.

[John Holmberg]

That's right, Larry. Before you book a trip or buy something shiny, please remember your car. Tax time's the best time to take care of all the car repairs you've been putting off.

[Larry McFeely]

Sure, because nothing kills a tax refund buzz faster than a surprise car breakdown.

[John Holmberg]

I'll say. If your car's been acting up, now's the time to handle it.

[Larry McFeely]

Should we wait for our refund before getting repairs?

[John Holmberg]

No way. Amco payment plans let you get repairs now and pay when you get your check.

[Larry McFeely]

Google AMCO for your nearest location. That's Amco double A MCO transmissions and

[John Holmberg]

a whole lot more Holmberg's morning sickness. It's just a robot. That's. That's like those. You know, those. If you're, you know, you, Brady, I hate to break it to you, but. But you've been jerking a guy off for 45 years.

[Brett]

A handsome man.

[John Holmberg]

Not gay.

[Brett]

Right.

[John Holmberg]

I've been doing for a long time. Brett's been with. Been playing with a guy's wang for a long, long time. Same thing.

[Ellen]

That's different.

[Brett]

Not a gay activity.

[John Holmberg]

It isn't.

[Brett]

It's your own.

[John Holmberg]

When it's your own, you own the robot. Okay, well, it's your own. I don't think it's.

[Brett]

That's not Yours. That's the robots.

[John Holmberg]

So is it heterosexual sex? If it's a female robot?

[Brett]

Yeah.

[Ellen]

So is it rape with C3PO, then? I mean, if you.

[John Holmberg]

If. If. Oh, man. I'd program that in there, though.

[Master Luke]

Please, Master Luke.

[John Holmberg]

No, not like, he's screaming for help.

[Brett]

I need you to be stuck in the dryer.

[John Holmberg]

I need you to. I need you to hate this. And, like, be really loud.

[Master Luke]

Please, Master Luke. Ow.

[John Holmberg]

It's too. Oh.

[Master Luke]

Oh.

[John Holmberg]

Help. Ain't nobody can hear your cries. Yeah, I would program that in.

[Master Luke]

Hilarious.

[Brett]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, quiet down, you bag of bolts. No one can hear your fry.

[Master Luke]

Oh, Master Luke. It hurts Good.

[John Holmberg]

That's okay. It's a toy. It's a toy. Is it beastiality? Because a lot of women use stuffed animals to do stuff to themselves, right? Now, there was a girl in high school, I knew that she had a stuffed animal on her bed, and I went to move, and she goes, ooh, like, what? And she goes, that's not. Don't touch that. I'm like, why? She goes, that's my. I had no idea. Like, what is that? She goes, I use that. That at night. Oh, you rub this poor little teddy on.

[Master Luke]

Yeah.

[Brett]

Again, that comes back to. I think that I lean towards objectifile.

[Ellen]

Well, sure.

[John Holmberg]

Not a living. Yeah, cuz exactly. So what's the harm?

[Ellen]

All right? Is it gay if you reach in the nightstand, your wife's nightstand, and grab her. Her crank and just start doing yourself?

[John Holmberg]

That's gay. Your wife. It's your wife's thing. Yeah, that's gay. That's gay.

[Brett]

Nah, not if I'm not pushing back.

[Master Luke]

No.

[John Holmberg]

Gay is so much more than the sex. You know, gays are mentality.

[Ellen]

I'm not going with that.

[John Holmberg]

No, it's. Well, no, because it's not.

[Ellen]

Take a crank, you're gay. No.

[John Holmberg]

No, that's not true.

[Ellen]

So go to Troy and Michael's house, reaching their nights.

[John Holmberg]

Why would I ever touch anything of theirs? It's not gay.

[Ellen]

What difference does it make?

[John Holmberg]

I didn't say that was. That's. If I go to a gay guy's house and start using his sex toys.

[Ellen]

That.

[John Holmberg]

That's gay. No, it's gay. Regardless. You said you reach into your wife's nightstand drawer and use her stuff. That's not gay.

[Brett]

What about his.

[John Holmberg]

If they had a robot, I wouldn't bang their stuff. You still look. I don't drive their car. Not allowed. That's wrong.

[Brett]

Why not?

[John Holmberg]

Because it's wrong.

[Brett]

Like if they needed a ride.

[John Holmberg]

So you think that everything that isn't human is up for grabs. You can't just go over to someone's house and use their things.

[Ellen]

That's the same with your wife, though. You can't go in there and grab King Dong out of the nightstand and start inserting.

[John Holmberg]

I probably bought it. And you don't start with King Dong. That's gay.

[Brett]

That's he.

[Master Luke]

It's gay.

[John Holmberg]

You gotta work your way up like a couple little, like, small ones. That's nothing.

[Ellen]

Nothing. But gay is what it is.

[John Holmberg]

You're too afraid of the robots. You're dumb.

[Ellen]

All right, Twinkie.

[John Holmberg]

The bang. A robot. You're not doing anything straight. Gay.

[Master Luke]

Yeah.

[John Holmberg]

C3PO. Talk like a lady.

[Master Luke]

Oh, yes, Master Luke. I love it when you do this from behind.

[John Holmberg]

Thanks.

[Ellen]

Still got a crank?

[John Holmberg]

Nah.

[Ellen]

Yeah, okay.

[John Holmberg]

It's a robot crank. Doesn't matter.

[Ellen]

Still gay. Crank is a crank

[Brett]

then. Would you rather have

[John Holmberg]

T shirt ever? What's what?

[Brett]

You could have your female robot. Female voice with a male robot body. That's what you know.

[Master Luke]

I'm just saying.

[John Holmberg]

I'd rape the robot every once in a while. It'd be funny. That's what. I'm not starting a relationship. What's the matter with you guys? I'm not letting him touch me.

[Brett]

It would be funny.

[John Holmberg]

It would be hilarious to watch him just go. Morning, sir.

[Master Luke]

Oh, not again.

[John Holmberg]

You can't get through this. As you can't leave. There's no laws against it.

[Ellen]

Those gays are funny.

[John Holmberg]

Take full advantage of that. Hilarious. You came over. I would do it in front of you and you'd be like, come on. Like, give me a second. We'll go play pickleball in a minute. But, ah, gotta rape this here robot.

[Brett]

Not with the King Kong.

[John Holmberg]

It would be so funny for you to come over and see that. You'd laugh for a half hour. Brett. Like, I can't believe you did that. Like, yeah, it's a robot. It's like a couch. Oh, Master Luke, do you know where the towels are?

[Brett]

Go.

[John Holmberg]

I gotta go play pickleball with my friend here. I send you videos every day. Hey, Brady. The robots charging. Watch this.

[Master Luke]

Oh, not again.

[John Holmberg]

Now I would love the girl one. I'd manhandle the boy every once in a while, roughing him up.

[Ellen]

Your name your robot Dudley now or what?

[John Holmberg]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, he'd be. Eventually he'd be scared of me going around the corner.

[Master Luke]

Is today the day, Master Lou?

[John Holmberg]

Now you're safe. That would be the noise he hated most. His algorithms would pick that up. Anyway. It's not gay.

[Ellen]

Yeah, it's gay.

[John Holmberg]

It's hilarious. Said, great. I just had to explain to my kid what King Dong is. Said I cannot stop laughing. Over raping C3PO. Keep it up, up. Well, we'll keep it up. That would be so funny. So damn funny. Before we get into the song, I have to do this. Last night at the Rah Rah room server, Kinsey came over and she goes, I have a favor of you. And I'm like, what is it? And she said, one of the people I was helping tonight is a big fan of the show and said because you know, if he's here tonight. She goes, I know John. So she came over and got me, me and we went over and met these people. Now here's what the dangers of meeting me are. And. And Kinsey to a certain degree too, because she spent more time. I went over, met this. He's the executive chef at Talking Stick. You love this guy. Awesome. He was there with a 16 year old daughter and it was her birthday. First things first, I looked at her and thought she was very young. And then I thought she's just about like in a couple days to get the keys to drive on the freeways with us. And I swear to God, something about looking at her. I'm like, oh, we gotta raise the age of 16. Looks like you shouldn't be in charge of a car. Listen, now that she's super sweet kid though. But then I walked away. I met him. I'm like, you guys are really sweet. They're really nice people. Such a pleasure chatting with them and everything else. We got pictures and all that stuff. And I went right back to hanging out with my idiot friends. And a couple drinks later I'm like, I forgot their names 100% across the board. I remember what he did for a living. I remember us talking about everything. And I'm like, I don't remember. So I told Kinsey, go to the front. I said, please go get the names. And she brought back this tiny little piece of paper. And I believe it said Patrick. So hope Patrick, an anonymous 16 year old girl whose name drinks will do that to you. I got erased, I got just two, a couple of drinks. The next thing you know I'm like, oh no. I eliminated names from my brain, so hopefully it's Patrick. Hopefully Kinsey got the right name. If not, blame her. And then to your daughter, you were both very lovely and it was a pleasure to meet you and all that. And he said it would be awesome if you could say Hi. To my daughter tomorrow. I'm like, you got it. So I'm just gonna throw Amelia out there. I'm just gonna say. I'm just gonna say Amelia. Cause I forgot it was. It's. It's. I'm sorry. This isn't. I'm a dick, and I admit that, but I'm partially to blame. And then there's some staff that's partially to blame as well that they didn't keep good records on who I was. I fully admit that I was the dick. But it was a pleasure chatting with you and hopefully. And if you could email me and send the picture of us together, and then I will remember everyone's name. But happy birthday to that anonymous girl and her father, who I believe is named Patrick. Says Today, March 9, 2026, we found out Holmberg is a gay boy. I'm not. I'm a robot rapist. That's different. It. It's not about the sex. It's about the power over the robot. That's what rape is. Look it up. I think John's trying to come out, and you're all blocking his moment. No, I am. I. I have no boundaries with robots. I find that to be absolutely fair game.

[Brett]

You'll be hearing that more often.

[John Holmberg]

What? Yeah, from people. Have you banged?

[Brett]

I've got no boundaries.

[John Holmberg]

I don't have a boundary with robots. I'll punch it. It. I'll do horrible stuff to it. I'll drill a hole in it, bang that, take it to the shop, get it fixed, and he's back to normal a couple days later. I don't care. Girl rob, girl, robot will be awesome. Boy robot will be funny. But no, you don't go over to the neighbor's house. That's the law. To respect a man's property. Go over and rape their robot. That's wrong. That's how diseases spread. Brady, you don't want to do that. Robot rape is immediately funny to me. Me. Immediately funny.

[Brett]

That'll be the new thing, then.

[John Holmberg]

Immediately.

[Brett]

The new STDs.

[John Holmberg]

Well, there could be.

[Brett]

Yeah, he got over on the. Don't use another person's robot.

[John Holmberg]

That's exactly right. We'll be a whole lot more respectful about robots than we will human.

[Brett]

I went to a robot swinging party the other night.

[John Holmberg]

We'd probably be a lot more, like, respectful of, like. Yeah, I don't touch another man's robot. Like, you bang another guy's wife. I don't touch another man's robot. That's wrong.

[Brett]

You're selling your Robot. Is it okay if I buy it?

[John Holmberg]

Well, you know why? Because your robot will have shown no discretion. She'll tell on you in a heartbeat. If you bang your neighbor's robot wife, she's going to tell him.

[Brett]

3 PO, how is John?

[Master Luke]

He's violent.

[John Holmberg]

He laughs. He laughs at me while he does it. Yeah, you're a robot. No feelings. Yeah. It's going to be. The future's bright, gang. We've been at this show for 25 years. There's an awful lot of things that have happened in that time that we did not see coming. This is one we've had our eye on. And the advancements are here. So did you call that poor teenage girl Amelia because her name was lost in you, Like Amelia Earhart? Maybe. Maybe I associate forgetting things and losing and not knowing where anything is. We'll change her to Nancy then. Is that okay? That's another lost one. Anyway, Bert, we've gone on too long. Go ahead, tell me what you got. The big board.

[Ellen]

On the board. We got sticks, Mr. Raboto. Obviously, you knew that was coming up. I prevail. Coal chamber orgy. Blue Monday. Aerosmith. Dude looks like a lady. For the priests and dresses the hives. Tick, tick boom for Iran. Jimmy Eat World. Bleed American.

[John Holmberg]

That's the one. Tick, tick boom's coming up. Give me the hives. I'll play that. We're going to do that for Kamani. My dream is that in 2028, in August. I've given you so many things. Gas is 3 cents a gallon. I killed all the Iranians. And now you all have your own sex robots. And under my watch, I brought you the Olympics. Twice. Sex robots. Great stuff. That's my dream. That's how fast I want this to happen. Says Kerry. Makes a good point. She says, what if rape is about power and you already own the robot? Wouldn't it take all the rapey fun away? I guess we'll just have to cross that bridge. You might be right, Carrie. That might be a. A fairly astute assessment of robot rape and the fun therein, but it ain't stopping me from trying. I'm gonna rape the crap out of my C3PO the second it. It'll still have styrofoam stickies on it. Ah, what's happening before it even introduces itself. I won't even go through the whole bienvenudos, hello thing. It's going to speak all the languages before I choose one. I'm getting in there.

[Brett]

So in 2028, you want to hear about the big beautiful robot.

[John Holmberg]

We're all getting the big beautiful robot. You get one. Thanks, Japs. And that. It's awesome that they're doing this. Big giant red robots are coming over. Oh, what a world, what a world we live in. What a great time to be alive. There's a whole gaggle of folks lived through the plague and their only dream in life was to not get it. Look at what we've got. Door dash these phones. These sex robots are on the way.

[Master Luke]

Woohoo. It's so difficult out there.

[John Holmberg]

The best time to be alive by a stretch. It's so good. That's only gonna get better. Brett, I'm inviting you over first. First? I don't have anything embossed yet, but I will. An invitation to come watch me rape my rope.

[Ellen]

No.

[John Holmberg]

The day it arrives.

[Ellen]

I'm not watching gay sex.

[John Holmberg]

It's not gay sex. And you will you for the fun of it. I'll laugh. Don't you? I'm not gonna say. I won't sit in there, still be gay and cuck that and I'll look.

[Ellen]

Musicals can be funny, but they're still gay.

[John Holmberg]

Okay, that's a solid combat. Yes, but sometimes they're entertaining. Oh, yeah.

No.

[Ellen]

100%.

[John Holmberg]

Yeah. That's what I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be an electronic music. And then my dream is to someday call Brett and go, hey, you want to come over? You're not gonna robot in front of me again, are you?

[Larry McFeely]

If you tweak out on me again,

[John Holmberg]

swear to God, if you start banging that robot, I'm leaving. We both know you're not leaving because it's hilarious. Come on in.

[Master Luke]

Don't do it, Master Brett.

[John Holmberg]

Oh, you're your robot again. Ah, you got a little mouthy. Hilarious. And you know it's hilarious. That's why I'm not saying it's not hilarious. It's still gay. Every time I go over there, he rapes that robot right in front of us. I'd have fondue parties just to go. And now, the main event.

[Master Luke]

Oh, Master Luke.

[John Holmberg]

All right, you guys with the Lebaron in the driveway. He likes to drive. Yeah, yeah.

[Ellen]

All right.

[John Holmberg]

Click, click, boom from the Hives. Tick, tick, boom. Sorry, guys. The other one. Hives are awesome. This is for you. Call me. We're gonna get him by Wednesday, I say. And the Hives will be right there singing the song while we do Arizona's most powerful rock radio station. He said fully erect.